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lipringlrh · 1 year

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race for your heart | mv1

summary: you’re not meant to be there, but you can’t stay away, especially not from the racer who can’t stop winning.

pairing: illegal street racer!max x fem!reader

an: might be my fave thing i’ve ever written. thinking of making this a mini series, thoughts? i’m also not an illegal street racer and have never seen one so might not be accurate x

word count: 3.7k

warnings: illegal, police chase, speeding, mentions of drugs and dodgy men

feedback appreciated and requests open!!

…

You'd been here a few times before, not regularly, never more than twice a month, but enough times to know how everything goes. You weren't meant to be here the first time, you found it by a complete accident but you were grateful now. It filled you with both excitement and dread to be here. It was illegal and wrong, nevermind the fact someone could die.

The place was crawling with creeps and criminals everywhere, one wrong move or one wrong sentence could get you on the wrong side of some dangerous people, but you lived for the thrill. The danger of the drive, and watching the drivers do it. In brand new sports cars you could only dream of affording. You didn't really know much about the drivers, except one.

Max.

He caught your eye instantly when you'd first shown. He was stood there, head to toe in black, his arm placed carefully on his car, showing off all the right bits. He was the reason you kept coming back. He was fast, quicker than all the other drivers, and everyone knew it. He was the one people wanted to challenge, to beat, but they never seemed to.

You'd seen the bets. The money people were giving to the winner after every race. More money than you knew what to do with. You craved it, the luxury and the lifestyle, but it seemed impossible. You weren't a fast driver, and you weren't a criminal by any means yet you still found yourself drawn here every time. And drawn to the driver everyone deemed untouchable.

He was the same today: a winner. You never expected any different, no one did. All the prizes were handed to him on a gold platter. Crowds cheered for him, men patting him on the back as he got out of his car to grab a beer. He met your eye again as he sat at the bar. He was left alone now, the crowds already moving on to the next big thing to talk about. He didn't look away, and for the second time, he found himself walking over to you.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone, again?" He grumbled, taking a sip of his beer. He changed his clothes after the race, now dressed in a white button-down and jeans.

He was weary of you the first time you met. You looked lost, you were, and you were not the kind of person to be here. You looked too pure and good to be surrounded by lousy criminals with more money than they knew what to do with. He wondered if you were with the police, trying to scope out the area and shut it down, but he learned quickly he was wrong.

You explained you were lost and he blindly believed you. He was worried once you figured out what you were doing that you would go to the police but he made you promise you wouldn't, and after he watched how your knees went weak after he called you a "good girl," he knew you wouldn't.

He saw you the next few times you went, looking less and less lost every time, but he never caught your eye long enough to feel confident in walking over. "Can you imagine that?" He thought to himself, "I'm treated as though I'm a fucking god around here and I still can't talk to a girl." He beat himself down over it, watching you interact with people he never wanted you to talk to, in fear they'd ruin the pure image he'd created of you in his head. So he watched from afar, giving creeps the eye long enough to scare them off. Of course, you didn't know it was him sending these men away, but sometimes you were grateful and other times you weren't. He felt bad for a moment before not caring again. "It's to keep her safe," he promised to himself every time.

You didn't reply to him immediately, instead drinking in his appearance: the way his face looked under the moonlight, the way his jaw locked when you didn't reply, and the way his shirt stretched over his muscles perfectly, letting you see everything.

"So?" he replied, smirking, watching you look him up and down more times than he could count, "are you going to answer me?"

You're eyes flew to his face again, watching as he became more confident the longer he saw you looking.

"What did you ask?" you mumbled, holding eye contact.

"I said: "What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone, again?" Think you can answer that?" he challenged, taking a step closer. He saw what he did to other girls, how he made them crumble, but nothing compared to you, and how he loved watching his effect on you.

"I- well, I just came for a beer?" you answered, sounding more unconfident the more you went on. You knew why you were here: because you liked it, but you didn't want to. It was criminal yet here you were, enjoying the thrill and the danger. And watching Max, racing or not.

"And the last time? And the time before that? You don't seem like the type of girl to go out drinking alone, especially to the type of place so dirty and illegal." He asked, teasing, stepping closer once again. His voice was growing louder even as he got closer until he was touching you and leaning down to whisper in your ear, "I think you like it, don't you?"

Your body shuddered at the closeness, your hand flying straight to his arm to keep balance. Instead, you made it worse for yourself, grabbing straight onto his muscles, and turning your face the slightest shade of red. You hoped Max wouldn't be able to see - you were too close and there wasn't much light, but you were very wrong. Crowds moved everywhere around you, but all of Max's focus was on you. It was impossible for him not to notice, he was trying to pick up on every detail that he could about you.

His head lifted back up so you could see him fully like he could see you. Your faces were barely apart, a few centimetres at best, but it still messed with your head, a million thoughts flying everywhere at once until there were none. None other than Max and what his lips would feel like pressed against yours.

You let out the slightest nod as a response to his question. You didn't want to admit you liked it but with Max so close to you it was the only reaction you could even fathom of giving. He was messing with your head and he hasn't even done anything yet.

"Are you going to answer me like a good girl or just stand there?" he says, with the cockiest attitude you'd ever seen. He knew what he did to you, and what else those two little words would do, and he loved it.

Before you got the chance to reply, you felt pressure on your back and you were pushed into Max. He grabbed you and kept you upright, but he couldn't miss the sudden uproar of the crowd and the fact they were all running in the same direction.

He gave you a once over to make sure you were alright before looking forward to try to see what was happening. People were screaming and running and he couldn't tell why. His arms wrapped around you in a protective manner, pulling you closer in an attempt to keep you safe.

So many people were shouting at him and he couldn't make out what anyone was saying. He was trying to figure it out but it seemed impossible. You were almost pushed again but the person managed to stop themselves. Max didn't care, he was almost starting to shout at them for their recklessness until he finally found out what was happening.

"Police! Run!" the man screamed at him before carrying on running himself. It was like his fight or flight mode kicked in and he wasn't going to get caught.

"My car," he said as he realised an escape plane, telling you at the same time. He found your hand and took off running, dragging you with him. He led you both to the side of the crowd so that you wouldn't get lost and led you quickly to his car.

Police were everywhere, especially near the cars. They were parked on the road but out of the way of the runners. Many of them were unregistered or stolen, and others held bags upon bags of drugs. Police were stood by his car, trying to look inside the windows for anything immediately suspicious. They were covering the drivers side and he knew he would have to be fast.

"When I jump across to the drivers side, get into the passenger seat and shut the door," he called back to you. You processed the information, barely, and nodded, but Max was already focused on using his free hand to find his keys.

He got them, twisting them around, and unlocking the car just as he was about to reach it. The police were looking in the backseat, but were too slow to process the flashing orange lights and the doors at the opposite side opening.

Max leaped in and switched sides like a machine, doing it with so much ease it seemed impossible. He grabbed the driver's side door, holding it close as officers tried to open it.

"Get in," he screamed, watching as you paused for a moment. You made eye contact with an officer whilst quickly overthinking your whole life up until this moment. How did this happen?

You couldn't think much longer and you got inside, shutting the door shut with a slam. You let out a sigh of relief much too quickly as your breath hitched with the speed the car had just started.

Max locked the doors and took off in a flash. The car sped up in an instant, going to speeds you never dreamed of. Max was absorbed into the roads, dodging people and officers as he tried to escape.

Your hand gripped the seats until your knuckles were white; this was not a situation you ever wanted to be in. Max noticed, taking his eyes off of the road every few seconds to double-check you were okay.

"I do this every day and I've never got hurt," his eyes flicked back to your face after trying to reassure you, which was obviously failing.

"You won't get into trouble with the police either." he tried again. After looking at you again, he realised how badly he was failing. He didn't know what to do. He was fine in situations like these and had never had to comfort anyone. Every solution was running through his mind, not only to get out of here safe and alive but to make sure you knew that.

"Hold my hand," he ordered softly, holding out his hand for you to grab.

"Don't you need to focus on driving?" you questioned, worried. He laughed and lifted his other hand off of the wheel too. When he saw your face he immediately put it back on but kept the other outstretched for you to grab.

You looked at it for a second before grabbing it, interlacing your fingers together, and bringing your hands to rest on top of your thighs. His thumb immediately started traveling back and forth along the back of your hand as you decided to focus on that rather than the road in front of you.

"I promise you I will keep you safe. Nothing bad will happen," he spoke gently. He smiled at you, not that you were looking, but he thought that it might lift the mood anyway. "Trust me," he added, in the softest tone he thought he'd ever spoken with. He shook his head - he was going soft for a girl he's only ever spoken to twice.

You nodded gently, genuinely trusting him for a moment. That all faded when you started hearing sirens in the distance, getting closer and closer.

Max looked through the wing mirrors before speeding up the car even more. You subconsciously squeezed his hand more, gripping it like a vice.

"Okay, pretty girl, I'm going to need my hand back but it's only to keep you safe. I promise I'm going to keep you safe." You didn't believe him but you tried anyway.

You let go of his hand reluctantly, going back to squeezing the seats. You let out a shaky breath and tried to see what was going on behind you. You were on a motorway, going much higher than the speed limit. You could see three police cars in your view, all trying to catch you up.

Max hit the pedal again, speeding up impossibly faster. His eyes were on the road, occasionally on the police behind him and occasionally on you. If he had it his way, they'd be always on you, but he promised to keep you safe and was doing his damn best to keep it.

"We're going faster than their cars can physically go. We'll lose them in no time." He did another once over of you, taking in how petrified you looked once again. "Sitting so tense is going to make you more tense. I don't want you to worry yourself sick."

"Sorry," you mumbled, taking a quick look in the mirrors to see the police much further in the distance than you thought they would be.

"Don't apologise, pretty girl." he spoke, moving the car to the first lane.

He went round a sharp turn, almost heading onto a junction exit but only just missing it. He sped up again, heading around the next corner with flying speed.

"The police will think we just turned off, we'll turn off at the next one." You just nodded, going along with everything. You barely knew the man yet you were on a literal police chase with him.

He slowed the car down to a normal speed, placing his hand back into yours, "see, we're okay."

"We're okay," you repeated, trying to reassure yourself. His thumb was back to tracing lines on the back of your hand and it was helping you more than you'd like to admit.

It wasn't long until you turned off, traveling at a normal speed down some city suburb roads. You headed into an area you'd never seen, full of some of the biggest houses you imagined the city had to offer. You didn't even know where you were going yet you trusted Max blindly.

He parked in front of a huge residence, with all sorts of fancy cars parked in front. You imagined multiple massive families could live there with tonnes of spare space due to the sheer size of the front alone. It was truly extraordinanry.

"Where are we?" You questioned. Max had turned off the car and leaned back in his seat. His hand never left yours, and his thumb never stopped brushing back and forth.

"My home," he spoke, watching your face convey more emotions than he thought was possible. Your mind was racing a mile a minute: what did he want from you? was he kidnapping you? did he want something in return for saving you? You didn't like the thought of what was happening at all but Max read you easily.

"I can drive you back home if you'd prefer. Or take you somewhere, get you a hotel, anything," he spoke sincerely. He fully believed anything you'd want him to do, he would do for you, and he would go to the ends of the world to do it.

"I don't think I can be alone right now." You said, training your eyes onto yours and Max's hand.

"I can take you to a friend's? I can stay with you? I can take you somewhere crowded? Whatever you want me to do, I will do." He said, promising himself he would do whatever you wanted.

It was stupid - so stupid - the way Max had made you feel safe and the fact you wanted to stay by him. Not one thing led to the conclusion that he was a good man yet you still wanted to stay.

"My house is probably over an hour away." You knew Max could drive fast, you knew he could get you there much quicker but you didn't want to leave him. You looked out the window, at his house.

Max saw the way you looked at it, longingly yet worriedly. He didn't want to push you to make a decision, he wanted you to say it himself. He gave you hand a few reassuring squeezes, urging you to say what you felt.

"I want to stay with you," you whispered. You still stared at his house in horror and amusement. Max could see you in the reflection and could feel the worry radiating off you - he wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe.

"Let's go to a hotel." he said, your head immediately flicking back to look at his, "We can get different rooms if you'd like, but if you'd feel more comfortable there, we can go. It's no problem at all."

"Yes please," you nodded, grateful for Max's thinking. The more he was talking, the more comfortable and safe you felt around him. Past you would probably be calling yourself stupid in every way you knew how, but you felt like it'd be okay this time.

He drove off carefully, sticking to all the speed limits, something he rarely did when he was alone. He took you to a nearby hotel, only a ten-minute drive away. It was a lovely-looking hotel, something you'd never check yourself into though when you could just get the classic cheap ones that always worked fine.

"You okay?" Max asked carefully as you peered outside.

"This looks expensive, Max."

God, he loved when you said his name. You hadn't said it a lot but he felt like he could get addicted every time.

He chuckled in amusement, "I've got more money than I could use if I tried, it's on me."

You nodded and opened the car door, unfortunately dropping Max's hand in the process. Not for long though, as Max whipped around the side of the car to grab it again after muttering a small, "let me open it for you next time," to you.

He ordered two separate rooms but made sure they were next to each other and handed you both keys to your room and the spare keys to his, making you promise to let yourself in of you needed anything.

You felt yourself drawn to him, becoming disappointed as he left you to your own room, longing for more. You led in bed, in the same clothes you'd been wearing all day, wanting nothing more than to just be with him again.

You also couldn't stop thinking about the night that passed and how it could've ended much differently. You were reckless and a complete disaster of a person but you didn't think you would change it if you could.

So you left. You got all your belongings and you knocked on Max's room. He opened the door rather quickly, with a sudden look of confusion on his face when he realised it was you.

His hair was messy and stuck up in every direction but he still looked flawless. He had no shirt or pants on, just boxers, and you couldn't help but admire his whole body.

"Are you okay? Just let yourself in next time. What happened?" he asked frantically, worry laced all over his voice.

"Can I stay with you?" You asked nervously, refusing to look at his face.

"Of course, pretty girl," he replied with no hesitation, he would do anything to have you nearby. He stepped aside and welcomed you in, taking everything out of your hands and placing it on a table.

"You take the bed. I can either join you, take the sofa out here or take the chair in the bed room. And here," he said, picking up the shirt he'd changed into after racing, "take this, you can't be comfortable sleeping in that."

You took the shirt with a "thank you," and got changed in the bedroom. The shirt was long enough that you couldn't see anything if you tried, and it was incredibly comfy.

You poked your head out of the bedroom to see Max half asleep with his head in his hands. You gently called his name, his head jolting suddenly towards you.

"Will you stay with me?" you asked, a lot more confidently than before, but still a little shaky.

Max got up with a nod and headed inside the bedroom. He watched you get comfortable in bed and snuggled into the side you hadn't chosen.

You immediately moved towards him, throwing a leg over his, and your head on top of his chest. His arms moved instinctively around you, pulling you impossibly closer. He was so tired but wasn't going to waste an opportunity of staring at you a little longer.

"Sorry the night didn't turn out how you planned," he mumbled, wanting so badly to kiss your forehead but didn't want to overstep boundaries, "and sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay Max," you whispered, turning your head to kiss his chest ever so delicately. He decided to kiss your head in retaliation, smiling all the way through it.

"Tell me if you want to go again and I'll be there," he chuckled against your head, "goodnight, pretty girl."

"Goodnight, Max."

…

this might be my favourite thing i’ve ever written so reblogs and feedback would be really appreciated !! :) also thinking of making this a mini series, thoughts?

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anothersuperstition · 4 months

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new comprehensive (long, so sorry) commission post!! i lost my job a couple months ago (turns out the office manager is literally evil and she set me up to get fired on purpose :D) so commissions and my freelance work are my main source of income rn and every single extra comm helps!!

i’ve also been trying to take advantage of my free time and use it to grow as an artist and practice things i normally don’t so i would love to try some more nonstandard comms alongside tattoos!

as always line art only tattoo designs are $50 flat (*edit to say line art only FLASH tattoo designs), full color tattoo designs and everything else offered (portraits in any style, illustrations, posters) are all unique and prices will depend on content so if you’re interested or if you’ve got an idea and you’re not sure i can do it, feel free to shoot me a message for more info!!

examples of my work! (please open the images for full view i’m bad at formatting) ⬇️

posters! from show specific, to movie posters inspired by your fave albums or songs! (does not have to be mcr i just have brain worms)

tattoos! from small flash designs to full scale, neo trad or line work or anything in between!

illustrations! full page, comic-inspired, small and stylized (gerard way style inspiration optional!), you name it!

portraits!! these are my favorite to do and i never get to do them! pencil or painting, if sketchy and painterly are your thing i can do that! if cleaned up and smooth are your thing i can also do that!

so sorry for the novel length post, i hate doing it as much as you all hate seeing it, but a girl’s gotta pay the bills! tumblr is where i first found my footing as someone who was taking commissions and i’m allergic to social media these days but tumblr still feels as comfy as it did back then and i appreciate everyone who has been kind and supportive to me here over the years!! even reblogs help, thanks y’all!!

#i’ve got some things lined up this summer but they simply do me no good right now #anyways! tags for visibility i’m so sorry #art #digital art #illustration #mcr #my chemical romance #tattoo #traditional tattoo #lord of the rings #mine #arty art

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saradika · 11 months

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—HOW TO USE CANVA TO MAKE MOODBOARDS

I got a kind message asking how I make moodboards in Canva, so I wanted to do a little tutorial! Canva is a free graphic design app/website, and I use it for everything.

To start - open the app/page and use the search bar at the top to search for a template. I usually use: photo collage, scrapbook, aesthetic moodboard - all of these will pull up pre-made templates for you to use.

[I have a couple linked below that I’ve used and liked, or have bookmarked to try:]

Anything with a crown is for Canva Pro members - you used to be able to use the templates as a free member (just not the paid assets) but that changed recently. The linked templates above are all free ones that you can use right away.

PHOTOS:

Once you’re in the template, you can press the + in the bottom corner to bring up the menus. The Elements tab have items you can add in (more on that later) - for now you want to go to Uploads, and add the photos you want to use. I mostly get mine from Pinterest and Google Images.

[If you are writing an x reader fic and are looking for tips for creating an inclusive moodboard, there are some awesome resources here: one | two !]

After that, go back to your template and click on the different photo frames, and use the Replace button in the toolbar - it will let you replace the template photos with your own. Double tap to move and resize your image within the frame, (and there are also filters you can use if you want!)

When working on moodboards, I like to move things around. You can replace the frames they use by clicking on the item and then clicking the Trashcan. Then go back to the + menu, and then Elements, and scroll down to Frames. You can scroll through them all, but my fave keywords to use in the search bar is: polaroid, torn, and ripped.

Once they’re added, you can move them wherever you want. There’s a button on the toolbar that says Position, and you can shift the object forward/back between the items around it.

DETAILS:

Once you add your photos, then comes the details! You can change the background color and add/change the fonts (or upload your fave font to use!) Try out all the tools on the toolbar to see what you can do, there’s a lot of options.

I love love layering with my moodboard, so I will go back to the + / Elements tab, and then search for things to layer in. My fave searches for Graphics recently are: ripped paper, grunge patterns (to use in the background), star patterns, dried flowers, and dried leaves.

You can use the Position tool on them to fit them in-between or in front of your photos. I usually use them to hide harsh edges or in places that look a little empty.

I also like adding fabric texture to the backgrounds, to fill the space between the photo frames. There isn’t an easy way to do this - the best way I figured out is to find an image of the texture you want, and then to add a photo frame with a torn or jagged edge in the very back (and then use your new texture there). You can duplicate and move it, to cover the space (you can see some examples below - the beige flower pattern in the Din one, the black velvet for Alfred).

Here are some examples of the original templates, and then what my finished ones look like. You can see what I swapped out, moved, and added:

original image | my moodboard

EDITING:

Once I am happy with the design I download it, and then edit. I love this part - pop it into your fave editing app, and play around with the exposure/contrast/hues/sharpness. I will mess with the color balance & vibrancy as well - this can really take a moodboard I like, to one I love.

Here’s some gifs I made showing before /after editing - both are pretty before but I think the after has an oomph that I really appreciate.

[When you finish with one and want to use the same template, you can click Make a Copy, and it will duplicate it. I began with templates but everything I do now are copies of heavily/edited templates or ones I’ve made from scratch. But for starting off, I think a template is the way to go!]

And that’s it!! I would really suggest just opening it up and seeing what you can do. Not all of mine turn out great, but each time I think I get a better handle on all the different options and what my moodboard style is.

I really hope this helps! And feel free to tag me if you post any you make, I’d love to see them (or drop me an ask if you have any questions!) 💖💕

#please give this a reblog if it was helpful! 💖#and just a note the 4th example is an OC x Character fic moodboard #moodboards #graphics #tutorials #aesthetic moodboard #resources #fic moodboard #fan fic meta #fic writing #writing resources

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sitp-recs · 9 months

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My AO3 Wrapped: 16 Drarry Recs

This year I’ve embraced a change of pace and read way less than I intended to. This made me feel a bit disconnected from fandom but also allowed me to put this list together in record time so let’s not complain too much 😂 this is shorter and lacking my usual commentary but I didn’t want to break the tradition of sharing my fave reads of the year! Be it for their creativity or peak romance, these 16 amazing fics made my heart beat faster and got me even more in love with Drarry. I’ve read most of them in the first half of the year and it was interesting to see so many fics over 40k, as my usual sweet spot is 10k - 20k. I love the mix of tropes featured here and am very excited to rec authors I’m reading for the first time. ps: I haven’t included any Erised fics since the fest is still ongoing.

Thank you dear creators for sharing so many brilliant works with us this year! 2023 wasn’t my best year fandom-wise, but life has been so generous in other areas that I can’t help but feel humbled today. I wish everyone a lovely start to the new year! As always, please mind the tags and take some time to shower these authors with the appreciation they deserve. Oh, and stay tuned for a rare pair list sometime soon ;)

🍆 Snug by @moonflower-rose (E, 6k)

8th year | touch-starved Harry | soft cock kink

Potter can't keep his hands off himself. Draco can't look away.

🧩 Muscle Memory by @corvuscrowned (E, 8k)

curse breaking | partners to lovers | memory magic

There's something just beneath the surface, just at the periphery of Harry's mind. They've been here before — they've done this before. If only he could remember it.

👹 draco malfoy's substitute murder service by @oknowkiss (E, 10k)

odd jobs | D/s undertones | open ending

When Harry joins the Curse Breakers shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday, he’s surprised to find himself assigned to the Department of Creatures, Cryptids, and Associated Calamities.

🏰 the earth from a distance by spqr (E, 15k)

time travel | Wizarding history | only one bed

“Well,” Harry said gamely, once they’d managed to find the Leaky Cauldron – still under construction but mercifully open for business – and he’d turned up a few knuts from his pockets, enough to get them a room for the night, “it could be worse.”

🎚️ O Come, All Ye Faithful by @toomuchplor (E, 20k)

vicar Draco | established relationship | Church of England

Aunt Petunia died, that was what began everything. Or rather, Aunt Petunia was dying. In the act of dying. In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.

🎄 Waking Up Slow by @sweet-s0rr0w and @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E, 22k)

shop owner Draco | summer romance | light angst

'Twas the night before Christmas, although it’s July / Draco’s a shopkeeper, no-one knows why / There’s hiking and witch caves, freak snowfalls and more / Bad Christmas jumpers, nosy neighbours galore / Narcissa’s here too, but… something’s amiss / And what’s in those chocolates that’s making them kiss?

🚬 Sun Thief by @floydig and BlackRose532 (E, 28k)

slice of life | fast sexual burn | dark humour

It’s 2005, and Draco Malfoy says, “Fuck the Ministry,” Harry works as a handyman in muggle London, and Draco should really stop pissing off the Squib gangs.

🍷 Winner Takes It All by @skeptiquewrites (E, 41k)

break up make up | down & out Draco | hurt/comfort

As with all his friends’ wagers, it starts small. Fifty Galleons for one kiss from Harry Potter is easily done.

🏖️ LA, Who Am I To Love You? by @epitomereally (E, 42k)

Draco in the Muggle World | pining Harry | recreational drug use

Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.

🫃Shine On, You Crazy Diamond by @lagerloutfic (E, 42k)

fwb to lovers | gay awakening (Harry) | mpreg (Draco)

Harry has probably always wanted Draco, it just took him a few years to figure that out. A story about the joy of discovering exactly who you are and how easy it can be once you do.

🚣‍♀️ Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (E, 46k)

rowing AU | enemies to lovers | university setting

Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.

🧶 Polar Night/Midnight Sun by @toomuchplor (E, 54k)

cabin fic | wintery vibes | only one bed

Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy.

🎩 Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58k)

holiday fic | fake relationship | mutual pining

Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed.

👮🏻‍♂️Rookie Moves by peu_a_peu (E, 75k)

auror partners | slow burn | humour

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

🖼️ where all the veins meet by @saxamophone (E, 146k)

sad bois | Grimmauld Place | found family | 8th year

It's the summer of 1998. The battle is over, and Voldemort is dead, but Harry still has more questions than answers. Who is he without a piece of Voldemort's soul in his head? What is he supposed to do now?

📼 Always Already by @aibidil (E, 170k)

time travel | forced proximity | mutual pining

Harry and Draco are perfectly fine, separately minding their business in 2004, when the Unspeakables conscript them into service... in the First War against Voldemort.

#ao3 wrapped 2023 #drarry #Sitp faves

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giveamadeuschohisownmovie · 2 months

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Shuichi, Himiko, Keebo, and Maki represent our fave characters in general. They’ve been made aware of their existence as characters and are horrified by the way they are being written.

Tsumugi represents companies that continue to milk franchises dry because the public keeps consuming the content. They don’t care about the significance of the story, they care about what sells. So, they keep coming up with all these ridiculous storylines to keep the show going, even though it’s at the expense of the characters we love.

The DRV3 in-game fanbase is the other main villain since they’ve lost appreciation of the story. All they want is more blood and lewdness, they don’t care about the characters and their journey. The thing is, the loss in appreciation happened because the company (aka Tsumugi aka Team Danganronpa) keeps churning out content for people to consume.

So it becomes a vicious cycle of the company not understanding the significance of the story they’re telling, which makes the audience care less and less about what they’re consuming. Tsumugi LITERALLY takes the form of previous Danganronpa characters just so the audience can go, “OMG, it’s my fave character from the other game!” There’s no other reason why Makoto and Kyoko show up, they’re just there for us to cheer as cameo characters.

And how do the villains justify their treatment of the heroes? They tell them that it’s all fiction, so it doesn’t matter what they do to them. Who cares if we kill off all your favorite characters, it’s just fiction bro. You’re just there for people’s entertainment, so do what the audience wants. Say the line everyone likes, or make their favorite ship canon. It doesn’t matter how much we torture you (read: “butcher your story” / “assassinate your character”), we can do whatever we want to you since it’s all fiction anyways.

And how do our heroes fight back? They tell Tsumugi and the audience that their lives matter and that fiction can change the world. That we need to remember that the media we consume has meaning and that we shouldn’t treat it like disposable material. It doesn’t matter if they’re fictional, they matter to someone out there.

Perhaps I’ve been too harsh on V3. People were so up in arms about the game supposedly dissing the fanbase when the ending was warning us about the dangers of companies destroying their own IPs by not letting them rest, as well as toxic fanbases losing appreciation of the series they’re a fan of. And they did it by having the characters themselves speak about how their lives are being ruined by the people writing/influencing their stories.

This is straight up something Black Mirror would make. In fact, they kinda did with Bandersnatch.

Okay, it’s official. V3 is my favorite Danganronpa. It’s got a lot of flaws, but I give it props for the vision.

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lace-coffin · 9 months

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adding onto Asa's newest pet coddling and babying his bugs, how would he react to us protecting them?

Like, maybe another member of the collection got out and found s/o where Asa keeps the bugs and, and startled s/o drops the giant tarantula from where they are on their knees. In their momentary fright, they flinch and shove the tarantula's enclosure, braking it and alerting Asa that something is wrong.

The startled tarantula starts crawling around, quickly moving in the escapee's direction, and just as Asa opens the door, his pet stops the escapee from squishing the tarantula they so fondly named Cocoa by covering it with their hand and scooping him (the tarantula) out of dangers way

this unfortunately leads to the breaking of Asa's pets' hand, however, s/o seems more concerned for Cocoa, as they now have the giant furry spider clutches closely for their chest, but not to tightly, as Asa had taught them to handle it gently

Also I loved the last one!!! very sweet and exactly what I was hoping for, thank you so much!!

Hi I’m really glad you enjoyed the last one! It actually turned out to be one of my fave fics I’ve written and I really appreciate how much detail you always give me to work with! 💖

How would Asa Emory react to his pet/SO injuring themselves to save one of his bugs?

Asa Emory x gn!Reader

Requests are open!

Trigger warning for mild violence and blood.

Shit shit shit. This was not was Asa needed right now. One of his older failed projects had bolted past him and disappeared into the dark halls of the hotel. The Collector in question was currently dragging himself up from the floor with the aid of a near by table, winded and panting.

In a moment of accidental carelessness he’d turned his back, deeming the captive inundated enough to leave. After a round of ‘experimenting’ it wasn’t like he was in any state to move, at least Asa thought. the man laid bloodied and wounded in a pile, paper mache mask stapled to his clammy skin.

Apparently he still had some fight left in him, swiping Asa’s ankle before he could start chaining him back up. That led to the situation now.

By the time he’d gathered himself and trudged to the door the captive was out of sight, it would be impossible to find him right away, he loved his hotel but the twisting halls all blended into one, even if you were a regular visitor. The bloodied and beaten man could be anywhere by now, Asa having no way in knowing where for sure.

Suddenly the sense of urgency came crashing down on him. You were currently spending your allotted free time wandering the hotel, only ever drifting between the places that your master pre-approved as safe for you but on your own nonetheless. Usually the jingling collar on your neck served enough warning if you were to drift, the zombie like prisoners in the lower levels knew not to touch something marked by the hotels owner, one scrape on you could mean a punishment that would leave them wishing they were already dead.

Asa knew in the delirious state the man was in he wouldn’t know nor care you were off bounds, desperate and disoriented, looking for any opportunity for escape from this hellhole.

He could check the cameras, see if he could track the escapee making his way across the monitors but it would be too time consuming, time already not being on his side with you loose in the hotel, blissfully unaware of the deranged man stalking the halls. Fuck, he’d have to do this on foot and now.

On the other side of the hotel you hum quietly, running your fingers across the various terrariums in the specimen room. This was your favourite room to visit, having named all the critters to your liking and much to Asa’s amusement hidden under annoyance. You were particularly fond of the Blue Death Feigning Beetles, just a bunch of silly little blue guys that didn’t really know what was going on but happy to be there nonetheless.

Only one specimen held a higher place in your heart. Cocoa, an older rich brown curly haired tarantula or Tliltocatl albopilosus as Asa insisted. Asa had gifted her to you after seeing how well you handled the other specimens with a particular lean towards tarantulas. One of the easier kinds to keep, she lived up to her specie description well, docile and less prone to kicking hairs or biting. You two had bonded well, spending evenings together on the specimen room floor.

You watched happily as she tottered across the floor in-front of you, never letting her get too far before coaxing her back into your palms. Just as you were going to pluck her from the floor and return her to her tank the door slams open, leaving an indent in the wall where the handle smashed into it.

Crazed bloodshot eyes met yours from across the room, this was obviously one of sir’s projects, but what was it doing here? Fear spiked up your spine like ice as he started approaching with haste, blood gurgling in his mouth making anything he was attempting to say unintelligible. He probably thought you could help him. Poor guy. You felt a little pitiful for him.

That was until he lunged for you, sputtering blood over your fresh clothes from his dripping maw. You let out a startled scream, this seeming to annoy him more, slapping a dirty hand over your mouth in an attempt to silence you and stop his tormenter from locating him. You sink your teeth into his hand in retaliation, the feeling of splitting skin vile under your canines. He howls in pain, shoving you away from him and onto the floor.

You do the first thing you can think of and mentally apologise to cocoa for what’s about to happen. Gripping the table leg you shove the table over, by proxy pushing her tank onto the floor, with as much strength as you can muster. not before taking inventory of where cocoa is on the wooden floor, not wanting her to be hurt in the process.

Asa now only a hallway away hears the crash and swears under his breath, his worse fears becoming real as it becomes apparent you and the escaped victim are sharing the same room. He can only hope he gets to you before you sustain any injuries.

In the blur of chaos cocoa is startled and skitters across the room towards the man. the delirious man snarls in anger and fear, raising his foot to crush her under his tattered shoe. eyes snapping wide in terror you lurch across the floor for her as fast as you can. You manage to grab her just in time, your breath shaky as you scoop her up. The man above you takes this opportunity to stomp as hard as he can on your hand, the sick sound of your fingers crunching under his weight reaching your ears as you wail in pain.

Just as the man makes a run for it the door bangs open loudly to present a less than happy Asa, infuriated murderous look haunting his features. The man responsible for this whole ordeal visibly pales even more. Before he can shake off the shock a blade is swept across his throat with accuracy, leaving the ghostly man to crumple to the floor, gurgling on his own spit and blood. Your master watches him fall with a sick satisfaction, this is soon wiped from his face and replaced with concern when his gaze meets you.

Despite being disheveled and exhausted you hold Cocoa to your chest gently, whispering sweet words of comfort to her. You weren’t sure if the words were more for her or you but it didn’t matter right now, you were both safe.

You eyes finally rest on Asa and your expression softens, knowing things will be ok for definite now. “Sir…I’m sorry about the tank, I didn’t know what else to do, how to reach you. Cocoa’s ok, I’ve checked her over and she’s fine, see?” You cross the room to your master and extend your palm for cocoa to waddle onto Asa’s hand, letting him give her the once over.

“You took perfect care of her, I’m thankful, pet.” A small smile creeps onto his face but is quickly swept off as he sees your hand, red and throbbing, fingers already starting to bruise. Asa quickly places cocoa into an extra tank and turns back to you. “Hand” he orders, waiting for you to place your abused hand into his larger one. He looks over it carefully, flexing a few fingers and hearing you hiss. There’s definitely some breaks.

His face takes on a guilty but frustrated look. “What is this? You should’ve tended to yourself first” he lets out a deep breath. “Excuse my temper pet but you’re hurt, your hand is most likely fractured in a few places…I’m sorry for letting this happen.” He says remorsefully, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Sorry for not telling you sooner it’s just, I guess I didn’t even really register it, sure it hurt like a motherfucker-“

“Pet. language..”

“Sorry sir, it hurt real bad but I was so focused on making sure cocoa was safe it seemed like a non issue at the time.”

“I forgive you, little one” he whispers into your hair. you two stay like that for a moment, basking in each-others safety after the hectic events of this afternoon. Eventually the taller breaks away from the embrace with a sigh, gesturing to your damaged hand.

“Let’s get you fixed up and fed hm?” He suggests, suddenly hiking you up into his arms, your legs scrambling to wrap around his wide waist as you lean your head into the crook of his neck. Asa hum’s calmly as he makes his way through the halls, you snuggle deeper into his embrace, the events of the day finally weighing down on you.

“You can rest now cricket, sir has you, you’re safe.”

#slashers #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #asa emory #asa emory x reader #the collection #writing #my writing

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kalifornia1025 · 3 months

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Excuse me while I go on about why I loved Shoscombe Old Place Pt. 3 (SPOILERS)

1. John’s less-than jovial intro and the mention of a ‘medical emergency’ followed by a sigh…I was both stressed and wanting to hug him because dude are you okay?? What’s gonna happen??!

2. GENIUS that this case coincidentally goes alongside John’s personal issues revolving around Carrie and her leaving Archie with him! Especially with John and Carrie’s own argument sneaking into an argument about the case. It was honestly so cathartic hearing John call her out on how shitty she was being about something that SHE did! (And we hear a bit more about the healing process John went through after he got hit with the IED bomb!)

4. God, this podcast is just amazing about monologues!! Monologues are hit-or-miss depending on where you hear them from, but this podcast KNOWS that a good monologue is definitely needed for a Sherlock podcast. The whole time I was just captivated by Robert’s monologue: how his sister’s husband’s family was really well off, how Robert’s family wasn’t (also a nice connection to his and John’s personal struggles with classism), and Robert scrambling to do everything Beatrice wished for when she died while also trying to keep up appearances so he wouldn’t have to give everything back to the Falder family and be left with…nothing. No cars, no fancy house, not even his sister…

5. John getting excited to drive one of the cars was great! “JOHN HAMISH WATSON!” “Don’t you ‘Hamish’ ME!”😂😂 Great way to balance out the somberness of Robert’s dilemma with the comedic nature of the podcast!

6. Love love LOVE when Sherlock adaptations remind us that John is a DOCTOR, and a competent one at that!! Dr. John Watson is honestly my favorite character, and so far THIS John is becoming one of my fave Watsons! I was stressing alongside John during that medical emergency scene😰

7. The ending was honestly so sweet! John going back to the river that was used as an analogy for him and his new life, Sherlock packing everything up for John (which is a difference compared to pt. 1 starting with Sherlock not even getting his own things packed yet), Sherlock also passing on some words of appreciation from Joe that John definitely needed, and some lighthearted comedy sprinkled in to wrap up the whole episode🥰💕.

What. A. Case!! I love the direction this podcast is going when it comes to telling classic Sherlock cases while still making it interesting and exciting! I’m glad they only made a SMALL mention to Moriarty because some adaptations get too eager to introduce him into the story and immediately mess with Sherlock. This podcast made the right decision when introducing Moriarty: he’s there, but only a foreboding threat (as he should be). I already posted about my “who Moriarty really is” theory (I know there’s one error in it, but I’ve since then clarified it) but I’m not in a hurry to have my theory be proven right or wrong. I’m just happy with Sherlock and John solving their cases for now☺️.

Whew! Sorry for all that. Just needed to get it all out of my system. Welp, now I gotta wait patiently until they reveal what their next case will be for next week😬.

#sherlock and co #shoscombe old place #john watson #sherlock holmes #sherlock & co #sherlock and co spoilers

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precious-little-scoundrel · 7 months

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WIP teaser

I got myself a lovely little request over a week ago for a Nurse!xBuck fic. Well, hi, it’s me, can’t not take that and run with it straight off the edge of the known world. I don’t even have a fixed name for it yet but I’ve been enjoying AU-ing our familiar faves to death with it

MOTA Pacific Theatre AU: yeah, you heard that right. Maybe it’s the anniversary of Iwo Jima currently happening or maybe it’s my ongoing crush on Ensign Jane Kendeigh, or -more likely- my subconscious awareness that nurse OC’s are a pretty favorited bunch for fandom writers, so I’ve found myself mixing it up entirely.

We’ve got Navy Flight Nurses and we’ve got Lt. Commander Doc Egan and co-pilots Cleven and Demarco who aren’t too fond of having to fly cargo planes full of wounded out of war zones all due to flight surgeon John Egan’s special request to have Cleven chauffeur him around. Oh yeah, and somehere in here there’s a developing thing between Cleven x oc Nurse!Ensign Maureen Kendeigh

TW: blood? Use of the word “Jap”

…

“You got it, commander.”

More than a little sure her mission was more provoking than necessary, Maureen still obeyed and followed Brady up the length of the plane and towards his station, then past it to poke her head between the pilots’ seats.

“Well, well, this is a pleasant surprise, getting car sick, kiddo?” Demarco joked, “Hey, I get it, I’d find it hell back there with no windows to look out.”

“Those mortars obligingly made a few.” Maureen joked back.

“Anybody hurt?” Cleven asked, and to her surprise, he turned from his panel to look at her with unmasked concern.

A joke was ready made there about everyone quite literally being shot to hell but she sensed he’d not appreciate it and following some uninterpreted impulse of desiring his good opinion, she hardly wished to repay his earnestness with flippancy. “Only one.”

“How bad?”

“He looked -dead.” Maureen admitted, she hadn’t gotten a good look at the man moving past him but she’d seen Egan’s treatment of the body and it wasn’t promising.

Cleven’s jaw worked overtime at the news and something snapped in his mouth, followed by a soft curse from lips too full and soft to always be so stern. Maureen thought he may have broken a tooth with all that tension but he spit out two halves of a bloodied toothpick instead. It fell to his pant leg.

“Major Cleven, sir, you’re bleeding.” It had drawn Maureen’s attention to his wet lap.

“That’s what I said.” Demarco agreed.

“It’s somebody else’s.” Cleven shook his head.

“You know if you pass out on me-“ Demarco warned, completely ignoring Cleven’s denial.

“-that’s why we’ve got co-pilots.” Cleven finished for him with a maddening smirk that made Benny Demarco throw his hands up.

“Can you check him?” he asked, “I mean -you are a nurse!”

“What? Hell no!” Major Cleven spooked for the first time all day at the suggestion, glancing quickly from his reddened trousers, behind him to Maureen Kendeigh, and back again. “I’m fine.” he declared in a firm tone that dettered her almost as much as the challenge of getting over the instruments and a steering column to pull down his pants and look. “Ensign Kendeigh, was there a purpose to your visit?” He redirected, resolutely ignoring Demarco’s unabated concerns.

“Yes sir,” she replied, meekly as she could, “Doc Egan asked me to remind you that you’re not flying a bomber. To mind the oxygen, sir. And that it’s cold.”

Cleven let out a mirthless little laugh. “We’re full of holes Ensign, of course it’s cold.”

“I know sir.”

“Yeah, ‘course you know,” his eyes lightened for a moment and Maureen almost deluded herself he was being chummy when he murmured next, “you’re smart like that. Tell the Lieutenant Commander I’ll keep her nice and low, so low the Jap navy gunners can blow the floor out without a sweat.”

“Thank you, Major.” Maureen chirped, pleased to have been trusted with a bit of morbid humor -it was the truest test of being taken seriously a woman could hope for in the service.

“Thank you, Ensign.” And with that she was dismissed.

#wip #those who can #mota #masters of the air #Gale Cleven #mota AU #Buck Cleven #Austin butler #Austin butler fanfiction #mota fanfic #gale cleven x reader #john egan

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fluxweeed · 4 months

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Hii, I just discovered your fics and am reading my way through them. Love, love, love the ones I’ve read so far.😊 I was just wondering what your favourite Draco is you’ve written, and what your fave Draco is in fics written by others? ☺️

ACK thank you!! what a question!! i've considered this v carefully and it turns out i have………a lot of thoughts. i will keep them under a cut so nobody is accosted with a full 700 words of my Draco Opinions 😂 so my quick answer is:

my fave draco i've written: the taste of țuică my fave draco ever: rookie moves by peu_a_peu

draco is an interesting one for me bc i don't really LIKE him? but i have sooo many feelings about him. really not sure i could summon the same fervour for harry, for example, who is my number one boy forever and always.

(i saw a thing once that said a pairing becomes ur otp when u relate to one of the characters and want to fuck the other one, and 🙈 i mean, i think you're supposed to relate to the gryffindor, aren't you. whoops.)

OKAY SO HERE'S THE UNHINGED DRACO MALFOY ESSAY BY FLUX W. EED.

listen. i love and respect people who are Refined Draco enjoyers. connoisseurs of redemption arcs. appreciators of majestic malfoy bone structure and ethereal grey eyes and soft windswept hair. fans of dracos who insult harry (with hidden affection) and who are a bit snobbish (in a rich, sexy way) but ultimately have realised the error of their teenage years and have become a better person. perhaps this draco has built a potions business and helps the aurors. perhaps he IS an auror. either way, he has a biting sense of humour, maybe, but he's a good guy.

unfortunately, the draco of my heart is a horrid mean little rat man.

i've never actually managed to write him the way i love him. i tried to aim for immoral bastardy in what's mine is yours but i got so caught up in trying to nail the feelsforbreakfast-style humour in the narrative that i ended up focusing much more on that and much less on writing genuine bastardhood.

i've written him as reserved and clever (in the four doors – this draco was written entirely for @jovialobservationanchor, who had a weak spot for closed-off academics with soft centres) and as a traumatised self-loathing mess (in two to lie and to some extent for lack of wanting and say no to this) and hopelessly sexually/emotionally horny for one harry james potter (in, um, most things) but i've never managed to capture the genuine cruel streak and flawed personality that is sooo so important to me.

WHICH IS WHY i picked țuică!draco for my favourite of the ones i've written. he's still a bit too emotionally intelligent to be Just Right, imo, but i think he's maybe the closest? he's unrepentantly rude to people. he's not attractive. and he has a streak of self-destructive fucked-upedness that is some form of wartime guilt, but certainly not a pretty one.

HOWEVER. rookie moves?? NAILED it. i adooored how genuinely fuckin MEAN he is, even tho he's an auror. i love love LOVED that he's kind of bad at his job in a way that's in complete opposition to how drarry!draco is often written these days:

The look on Malfoy’s face was not only troubling, Harry realized, but familiar. At once activated and dead behind the eyes, like an invasive species in an ecosystem that could not check it. It was the look of the meanest fucking teenager Harry had ever known, giving in to his urge to bully.

What Malfoy wasn’t good with was people. Despite his repeated insistences that his upbringing had equipped him with impeccable manners and a facility with society intrigue, the truth was that he rubbed almost everyone the wrong way. He was, undeniably, annoying. Witnesses were put off by his snide, dismissive tone, and he didn’t know how to coax out information with curiosity, warmth, or strategic silence.

that's not to say unrepentant cunt draco is the only one for me!! i DO enjoy the classic redeemed drarry draco!! i love a quirky draco, à la wwpwcs or maya's drop dead gorgeous. gallaplacidia's draco is sooo painful for me to read (complimentary) that even though i adore her fics, i still haven't read them all bc i have to space them out, for my health. and i'm sure there are dozens more dracos that i'm forgetting how much i like – basically, as long as he isn't super suave, absolutely gorgeous and/or obviously tom felton, i'm on board.

#also ohsodraco i'm lowkey starstruck that ur in my inbox + ao3 comments #i've been following u from my main acc for approx a thousand years #i'm all aflutter #also speaking of being starstruck #v glad that peu doesn't seem to have tumblr so she might not see me being weird about her fic AGAIN #nobody send this to her god #i've embarrassed myself enough as it is #ALSO. i have a poll saved in my tumblr drafts abt that 'otp = want to fuck/relate to' theory but i am too scared to post it #bc i'd be so embarrassed if it got like 2 votes lmao #someone with a Following pls promise to reblog it so i can gather data bc i'm sooo interested to know whether it's true

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you-remind-me-of-the-babe · 3 months

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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Aw, thank you for thinking of me. I loved reading your picks! You’re right, Ashton, self love can be challenging but I am going to give it a go.

1) Depth of Reason (71k, M)

Probably no surprise here, I’ve called it my favorite before. I put a lot into this fic. It handles a lot of complex issues and takes a different and unique look at the World of Mages while also feeling entirely plausible within that world. I also really, really love this version of Simon. I put a lot into him and at the start it may look like a story about Baz’s journey but it’s really about Simon’s journey of questioning the beliefs he has and questioning the things he’s taken for granted.

It’s also probably no surprise that this fic is a little bit of a love letter to one of my fave fics Restoration Ecology by the lovely @captain-aralias. It’s obvious how that story inspired mine (Simon POV, older Snowbaz get together, Simon works for the Coven, he goes through this journey of looking within himself, etc.)

2) How to Avoid a Scandal (43k, T)

This fic has a lot going for it and was for to write for several reasons: 1) This was a CO Reverse Bang fic, so it was inspired by art made by @xi-vz and thus got me to write something I may not have come up with in my own. 2) @xi-vz kept making art for it, and in true reverse bang fashion, it kept challenging me to write the plot in a way that incorporated what the art portrayed. Truly such a fun way to find inspiration. 3) since this was a Hollywood AU, I wrote script excerpts for the tv show the boys were acting in to bookend each chapter and to tie into/nod to what was going on in the greater story while also playing with the idea of a WoM television show I’d made up. This was kind of a nod to the Snowbaz excerpts in Fangirl and these were just generally so fun to write. 4) friends to lovers, my beloved.

Also!!! The incredible @shrekgogurt told me she was inspired by the script bookends in this fic, which led her to adding the flashback bookends to I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man and like (!!!) can we all agree those fucking flashbacks are AMAZING and totally add so much to that fic?! I’m so happy this was able to inspire such genius.

3) Rose-Colored Glasses (7k, T)

I don’t always get the chance to reread fics once they are published but I reread this one recently and while part of me latched on to things I’d try to write better if I were writing this years later and with more experience under my belt, I still nonetheless think this fic pretty good. For one, while it wasn’t my first published fic, it was my first most widely read fic. That helped me make a lot of connections in the fandom and probably established an audience that wanted to read more of my writing. Additionally, I think this sort of established my brand. I’ve written a lot of friends to lovers and this is the touchstone of me writing that trope. It’s got a sweetness to it that permeates a lot of my writing. Also, my pfp is still the beautiful, tender, fun art from that fic that @mostlymaudlin made and so y’all get to be reminded of it all the time 😂 Also have to give a shout out to @ivelovedhimthroughworse who made a lovely Podfic of this. ♥️

4) The Rule of Three (Doesn’t Apply to You) (9k, T)

This fic was a gift fic to the lovely @facewithoutheart whose prompt requested a funny Snowbaz get together with low/no angst. It was also part of a holiday exchange and I wanted it to have at least some Christmas-y vibes without being other the top, since that’s not quite Christina’s thing. I remember feeling very intimidated by the task of trying to be funny for one of the funniest writers in this fandom. Gulp. But also, while I’ve written some fun/funny things, I appreciated the impetus to really go for it in this fic. I think it’s a fun, sweet story and quite memorable, at least to me.

5) A Prickly Disposition (1.9k, T)

This is a short fic but I’m really proud of it. I’ve really had to work at brevity and I am still surprised I could write a get together fic in under 2k. (And I wrote it in one sitting, which still feels crazy because it came out so good without a ton of hair pulling.) This fic feels longer than it is, which feels like a special kind of magic. Plus my dear friend @fatalfangirl made a Podfic of this which just is such a great listen I cannot recommend it enough.

#this was harder than I thought it was going to be #I feel like I’ve ranked my faves before and it’s possible my choices have changed #but also some of them have stayed on this list #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #my writing #carry on fanfiction

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goosewriting · 2 years

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The turtles get walked in on by the reader as they were talking to April about how bad they got it for the for them, and theirs just an awkward silence from the April so the turtle slowly turns around to see the reader and April slowly leaves the two. Theirs a little awkward chat and the reader says to meet them up on a rooftop. Meanwhile the turtles freaking out wondering how they're gonna be let down. They meet on the roof and the turtle trys to explain themselves until the reader quickly stops them and holds their hands its a really cute confession for both of them thank you 💗💗 your writing is so good 😌👍🏾 I love everything that you made so far

Rooftops and confessions (rottmnt x reader)

summary: reader overhears turtle talking to April about his crush on them.

relationship: Rise Leo, Raph, Mikey Donnie x GN reader

warnings: fluff!, first kisses (except Donnie), idiots in love

word count: 4.2k

A/N: as i was writing i noticed i went in some directions that i had gotten asks for! so i decided to combine a bunch :3 sorry that some are longer than others; I partially wrote this on a train lol thank you for the kind words, anons<3 i really hope you’ll like these; raph’s is my fave piece of him i’ve written so far :D for reasons, this takes place not long before the movie. enjoy >:’)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

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You were happily skipping into the lair; it was movie night and you just returned from a successful snack hunt. Aside from everyone’s favourite candy and chips, you had also found a rare brand that you loved but didn’t find everywhere, so of course you bought as many as you could fit into your backpack. You couldn’t wait to see the boys’ reaction to it and hoped they’d love it as much as you did.

Upon entering the lair you made your way towards the kitchen, where you heard some voices. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but managed to catch the last part of the conversation.

“…this is getting out of hand, I think I’m actually gonna explode tonight”, one of the brothers spoke.

“Why don’t you just confess to Y/n already?” April retorted, slightly exasperated.

“What? Look at me. They would never-“ His sentence ended abruptly as you walked through the open door. The enthusiasm in your step had you turning the corner and walking into the room with such speed that even if you had wanted to stop at the door when hearing those words, you wouldn't have been able to.

The turtle stood a couple of steps away, April in front of him but facing away from you, so she hadn’t seen you enter. His eyes had gone big as dinner plates when he saw you, a blush starting to cover his whole face.

“They would never what? I’m sure they’re the least person to care ab-!” April wasn’t able to finish her sentence as the turtle hastily turned her around by the shoulders, so that she could finally see you.

“Y/n, you’re back!” April greeted you with a loud, somewhat forced laugh. Seeing that you had brought the food, she took everything you were carrying, and scurried off to the projector room, claiming she was gonna set it up. And just like that you two were left alone.

“So, uh, how much did you hear?” the turtle asked after what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence. He wasn’t able to look you in the eye.

“Enough, I guess…” you answered, your brain going a thousand miles a minute.

Enough to figure out what’s going on and realising you feel the same as me, is what you meant.

Enough to be kinda grossed out by you, and I hope we never talk again, is what he understood.

Realising that if you didn’t solve this right now, the whole movie evening would be super awkward and weird, you decided you had to take the matter into your own hands. Averting your eyes to the side, you told him without an explanation to meet you on the roof of that one shop you usually go to (it’s just across the lair entrance and has a nice view from up top), and left. So now you were gone as well and the turtle was left alone in the kitchen with his mind running. He inhaled sharply, brought his hands to his face and groaned loudly.

While the poor guy was mentally and emotionally preparing himself to be rejected by his favourite person in the world, you were hastingly making your way to the roof, trying to calm your erratic breathing and crazy heart, because you had actually been crushing on him so hard for some time now, too.

Once on the roof, you paced back and forth along the railing, replaying the conversation from before in your mind. On one side you couldn’t help the goofy smile spreading on your face because your crush liked you back, apparently. On the other hand you also heard him say “look at me” in a derogatory way. Did he really think you didn’t find him physically attractive because he was a mutant?

Just as you were trying to find the best way to word your feelings, you heard the ladder clattering behind you under the weight of a certain turtle.

🔵 Leo

Leo approached you with some sort of sad determination. He was barely able to keep his smug façade, and it kinda broke your heart. You’d have to clear things up as quickly as possible.

“So… what’s up?” Leo asked with a nod. He stood a couple of steps away from you, so as to not get into your space, and crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defensive manner.

“I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop earlier, Leo” you explained. “I just really wanted to get back to all of you with the food. You said something that has me a little curious though.” You tried to give him the most genuine and non-judging look you could. “After telling April to look at you, you said that I would never… something. What were you gonna say?”

Leo grimaced and sighed, deflating a little. He turned to the side, holding onto the railing with both hands. You mirrored him, so now you both stood facing the bustling city. After some moments of just looking at nothing, he spoke.

“April was telling me to ask you out. I’ve actually liked you for a while now. Like, a lot.” He stole a quick glance at you to gauge your reaction. “But it’s obvious you’d never be interested in a mutant turtle, so I understand if you don’t wanna hang out anymore or something.” The last part he said with a bit of a bite to his voice. Probably not directed at you, but at himself.

“Ah, but you see, Leonardo, that’s where you’re wrong” you said, closing the distance to stand right next to him. Gently you pulled on his arm to turn him so you were facing each other. The gesture and the use of his full name had him all kinds of confused, but he didn’t dare to pull away.

“Before coming to such conclusions you should have consulted with me first, you know. For the record, I like what I see” you added, giving him a quick once-over, referring to him being a mutant. As your words started weighing in on him, Leo’s eyes grew bigger and bigger, an adorable blush adorning his cheeks. He eagerly awaited for you to continue, but you were actually waiting for him to say the magic words, so you guessed he needed just a little bit more encouragement. “I don’t want to take the chance from you because I just know that if I do, you’ll never let me live it down. So, go ahead Leo. Ask me.” you told him. In a rush of adrenaline and boldness, you moved down your hand, which was still on his arm, and took his hand in yours. You could have sworn you saw his breath hitch.

Leo’s last brain cell had exited the chat the moment you had touched his arm, so while he knew what you wanted from him, and he damn well also wanted it himself, he was unable to produce a sound. You patiently waited, slightly amused at how you could see the figurative gears in his head turning at ungodly speeds, and smiled at him expectantly.

The lights of the city reflected on your skin, enveloping your figure in an almost surreal aura in Leo’s eyes, and his other hand came up to cup your face. You flinched slightly in surprise, but were quick to lean into his touch to reassure him. You were so beautiful, smart, generous. How in the world did he end up here like this with you?

“Are you sure about this?” he asked instead, his insecurities suddenly getting the best of him.

“What do you mean?” you retorted, slightly confused. Had you misunderstood him?

“Well, I know I can be a lot. And honestly you’re way out of my league” Leo said with a sad smile. “I’m moody and get distracted easily, always make a game out of everything. You deserve better…” He started withdrawing his hand from your cheek, but you grabbed onto his wrist and held it in place, also giving his other hand a squeeze.

“Isn’t that for me to decide?” you said with furrowed brows, and started rambling, unable to stop yourself, trying to get through that thick skull of his. “I’d like to think that by now I know you, Leo. And I know you can be cocky and impulsive and kind of a flirt. But I also know just as well how big of a heart you have; you’d probably sacrifice yourself for someone else without a second thought. I know how funny and laidback you can be, but you know how to be serious as well when it matters.” You removed your hand from his wrist and placed it on his chest, looking at him with almost pleading eyes. “I like your voice, your stripes, your corny pick-up lines. I like all of you Leo, in and out, and I want it all for myself.”

Leo just stood there, looking at you in awe and disbelief. Is that really how you felt about him? And all this time he had held back from making a move. With a smile and a light scoff, he just kept looking at you, memorising every detail of your face, glowing in the city lights.

Since he still wasn’t responding, you gave him a light push.

“C’mon, don’t leave me hanging here…” you mumbled, heat rising to your cheeks as you had just confessed all of that to him. Leo savoured the moment just a little more, then decided he had made you wait long enough.

“If that’s really how you feel, then will you go out with me?” he finally asked. Your eager ‘Finally! Yes!’, combined with your words from before, filled up his ego again; it was now bursting. Giving you his signature cocky smirk, his body language changed completely. Letting go of your hand, he grabbed onto your waist instead and pulled you closer. The hand on your cheek ended up at the back of your head, in your hair. The soft look in his gaze shifted, now looking at you hungrily.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now” Leo whispered, and you felt your body go up in flames.

“Do it, coward” you further provoked him.

Leo dipped his head, capturing your lips in his. The first kiss was chaste but lingering and full of longing. He pulled back ever so slightly and went back in again, this time slanting his mouth for a better angle and deepening the kiss. He pulled you impossibly closer against him and your hands wandered up from his chest to his neck, as you held his face.

Let’s just say movie night was long forgotten as you two finally were able to show each other how much you both had waited for this moment.

🔴 Raph

Raph approached you the way big or tall people walk when they’re trying to make themselves smaller, which made your chest tighten in pain. Your feelings for this turtle were astronomical, he should be walking with his head held high and chest puffed out. Just you wait until I tell you, you thought, already knowing you’d very much enjoy the facial expressions you were about to witness.

There were a couple of big wooden crates on the roof, and you gestured for him to sit on one. You took a seat across from him, cross-legged, trying to seem relaxed so he’d be more at ease, and not like you were scared of him or something.

“I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop earlier, Raph” you explained. “I just really wanted to get back to all of you with the food. You said something that has me a little curious though.” You tried to give him the most genuine and non-judging look you could. “After telling April to look at you, you said that I would never… something. What were you gonna say?”

Raph gave a dry chuckle, daring to look at you as if to see if you were serious. Seeing that you were earnestly waiting for his response, he hung his head low in embarrassment.

“I was gonna say you would never date someone who looks like… this” Raph said, gesturing to himself with one hand, before resting his arm on his knee again. “April was telling me to ask you out, but I knew there’s zero chance you’d agree, so… I wanted to save us both the hassle of going through that.”

“Raph” you called his name, and waited for him to lift his head to meet your eyes. To his surprise, you were not looking at him in disgust, but with pure adoration.

“All of this”, you said, gesturing to him like he did before, “Mwah!” You made a chef’s kiss gesture, bringing your fingers together to your lips, then opening your hand. “And the person and soul behind it? Even more so.”

Raph blinked once, twice. No response. You smiled.

“What I’m trying to say, Raph, is April was right. You should have asked me out, while you could.”

This confused Raph even more. While he could? Was it too late now? Was there… someone else?

Deciding that you had tortured this poor boy enough, you shook your head slightly in amusement, smiling to yourself. You got off the crate, coming to stand in front of Raph. With him sitting, you were now on eye-level. You brought your hands up to gingerly hold his face and brushed over his cheekbones with your thumbs. You saw him straighten up and inhale sharply, as his cheeks turned darker and darker, his eyes unable to look away from yours.

“I like you too, you green, spiky doofus” you confessed. “So now, I am asking you: will you be my boyfriend?”

The turtle was completely frozen where he sat, not moving a single muscle. After a few seconds of silence, you squished his cheeks a little.

“Raph, I want you to be my boyfriend. …Are you gonna make me beg?” Still no response. Now you had done it, Raph.exe had stopped working entirely. Letting go of his face, you took a step back and turned to leave. “Too bad; had you said yes, you would have gotten a kiss…”

“W-Wait!” he yelled, and grabbed your waist, pulling you back towards him. As he finally snapped back to reality, he underestimated the force of his action, and instead of just turning you around to face him again, he fully pulled you towards him, so that you were now standing between his legs, chests almost touching. This caught you by surprise as well and you held onto his shoulders for balance. Now your blush was rivalling his.

“That’s not fair; I wanted to be the one to ask!” Raph protested with a laugh. “You know I want to say yes, but… Are you sure? I’m not exactly easy on the eyes.” His gaze started shifting away from yours, so you once again held his face, this time with more confidence, and made him look at you.

“Is your skull as thick as your shell?” You asked rhetorically, not in a scolding tone but more in a playful manner. “Listen carefully, Rapahel, and dutifully absorb this information into your brain: You are as handsome as you are green. I like how you care about your brothers, how you always protect everyone and lead responsibly. I like how selfless you are. I like that you can take a joke, but that you know how to take things seriously. I like how you can both be tender and gentle, as well as strong and unbreakable. I feel safe and acknowledged around you. The fact that this amazing person before me came in the body of a giant turtle is just the cherry on top of everything else.”

Raph was completely speechless. He had hung onto every word, and you saw his eyes starting to gloss over. You had just poured out your entire heart to him, and he needed you to know that he felt the same way about you. Even so he was unable to come up with a response on the spot that could come even close to what you had just said, and he started racking his brain for something, anything.

You didn’t take his silence as something negative. Heck, if someone just dumped all of this on you out of nowhere, you’d also be at a loss for words. He needed to process it. Even though you knew this, you couldn’t resist any longer.

“To sum it up: I see you, Raph” you added, and started getting closer. “And I like what I see.”

With that you closed the distance between the two with a kiss. For a second he didn’t react, then you felt his shoulders slump as he sighed into the kiss, tilting his head to the side and fully wrapping his arms around you.

When you finally broke for air, you couldn’t help but pepper him with little kisses on his jaw, the corner of his mouth and the tip of his snout, which made him giggle. For a moment you just stood there looking at each other, taking in everything that had just happened.

“For the record, I do want to be your boyfriend” he finally said with a laugh, realising he hadn’t actually given you a proper answer.

“Well, after all that, I’d sure hope so!” you replied with a laugh of your own.

🟠 Mikey

Mikey got up to the roof with a million thoughts. He had no idea how to approach this, how to approach you.

“Hey, what’s up?” he greeted you and cringed at how forcefully peppy he sounded, given the conversation from before. You went to sit on the old bench that was on the roof, and he joined you.

You brought up one arm to rest on the back of the bench and bent your knees, bringing up your legs onto the bench as well, tucking them under your butt, so you sat sideways facing him.

Looking at him for a second and noticing how nervous he looked, you decided to get to the point.

“I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop earlier, Mikey” you explained. “I just really wanted to get back to all of you with the food. You said something that has me a little curious though.” You tried to give him the most genuine and non-judging look you could. “After telling April to look at you, you said that I would never… something. What were you gonna say?”

Mikey leaned back on the bench and sighed. If you had already heard that much, he might as well come clean. He didn’t like hiding stuff from you anyways, and you’d have discovered his feelings sooner or later anyways. He just didn’t want it to be like this.

“I was gonna say that you’d never be interested in someone like me” he finally says, and looks out to the nocturnal cityscape. “I really didn’t want you to find out like this, but I really like you. I have for a while now.”

You were about to interrupt him to say something, but he held out a hand to stop you, silently asking for you to let him finish first, so you waited.

“And I don’t expect an answer from you; it’d be unfair to put you on the spot like this. I really like like you, but I also like having you as a friend, and I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

You waited for a couple more seconds, and seeing that he seemed done with what he wanted to say, you finally spoke as well.

“But what if I want to ruin what we have?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, unsure if he should be hurt by what you said.

“You’re my best friend in the whole world, Mikey, and that will never ever change. But sometimes I do wish we were something more…”

“Huh” was all he could say, trying to not get ahead of himself and get all excited, in case this wasn’t headed the way he thought it was.

“How long have you felt this way?” you asked, suddenly becoming self-conscious and flustered, avoiding his eyes.

“I haven’t really been keeping track of it, but sure has been while now” he replied with a sheepish smile.

“Well, that’s a shame, because it’s been the same for me” you chuckled. “Guess we could have had this conversation a while ago. Good thing I caught you talking to April, huh?”

“So… you’re saying you like like me too?” Mikey asked and reached out for your hand.

“I do” you said and met him halfway, giving his hand a squeeze.

You two just sat there for a while, holding hands, a blush on both your faces. After some minutes of nervous glances and some giggles, you stood up, pulling him with you.

“Now that that’s taken care of, I think we should head back” you said and pointed to the ladder with your chin. “They’ll start movie night without us otherwise and eat all the snacks I oh so carefully picked out.”

“Wait” Mikey said and pulled on your hand, turning you back around to face him. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to do forever.”

You didn’t have time to ask what he meant, as he was already closing the distance between you two and planted a chaste but firm kiss on your lips. It was over just as quickly as it started, and while you stood there with a furious blush and a dazed look, he smiled sweetly at you.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely be doing that more often” he commented, winked at you, and then pulled you along to the ladder. “Last one back home is a rotten egg!”

🟣 Donnie

Donnie slowly approached you, his eyebrows deeply furrowed, and his arms crossed over his chest protectively.

You leaned back against the railing, waiting for him to join you. As he finally arrived, he stood next to you, facing the cityscape below you. You guessed it would be more comfortable for him to stand like this, facing in opposite directions as you talked, or he’d think you’re confronting or scolding him.

“Thanks for coming, Donnie. You know, I really didn’t mean to eavesdrop earlier” you explained. “I just really wanted to get back to all of you with the food. You said something that has me a little curious though.” You gave him a quick glance from the side, trying to sound the most genuine and non-judging you could. “After telling April to look at you, you said that I would never… something. What were you gonna say?”

For a second, Donnie considered brushing the whole thing off as a joke between him and April, or telling you that you had misheard him. Chewing on his bottom lip, he quickly stole a glance at you; you were looking ahead of you, the faintest of blushes dusting your cheeks, patiently waiting for a response.

He sighed, deciding against dismissing your question; it wouldn’t be fair to you. And it was beneath him to gaslight you. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he also didn’t want to be hurt by you.

“Before I answer that, may I ask a question instead?” he asked.

“Sure” you said.

“Hypothetically speaking, if one of us were to ask you out, would there be a chance of you accepting? Solely regarding our physical appearance.”

“Yes, hypothetically” you answered. “But it would depend on who’s asking; looks aren’t the deciding factor.”

“What if, hypothetically, it was me?”

“Ask for real and find out” you said and finally turned around to face him. He slowly turned as well, his heart pounding in his chest; it was now or never. You smiled at him encouragingly, and he took a deep breath.

“First of all: I like what we have now and I don’t want to lose it” he started, avoiding your eyes. “But for a while now I realised that my feelings for you have… changed. I want to be more than friends, Y/n.”

Finally he met your gaze, and your heart skipped a beat at the seriousness in his eyes.

“Are you hypothetically asking me out, Donatello?” you asked him with a coy smile.

“I am asking you out for real” he stated and shyly took your hands in his. “So, what do you say?”

“I’d love to, Donnie. I’ve liked you for a while now as well, for real.”

His entire body relaxed at your words and a soft smile spread on his face, as he took a moment to process this.

“This is all new to me” he said suddenly. “All I know is you’re important to me, and I don’t want to lose you. Please… be patient with me.”

“There’s no rush” you said, and brought one hand up to gently stroke over his cheek with your knuckles. “We’ll figure it out together. Just talk to me, okay?” He nodded.

“Should we head back?” you asked after a while.

“Yeah” he said and you both turned to leave, but he didn’t let go of your hand as you walked. “I saw you brought some new snacks, can’t wait to try those.”

You hummed in agreement, still in disbelief of what just happened. Despite how much you had been looking forward to them, you weren’t sure how many snacks you’d be able to eat, with all the butterflies fluttering in your belly right now.

~~~~~

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e-dubbc11 · 1 year

Note

for the song lyric prompt, I'm presenting you the super classic 'with or without you' with the most incredible obsessive love presence and our fave obsessive man: billy

My dear Selene,

I love this song, it’s one of my favorites! Thank you for sending this one in. My head has been wrapped around writing for Rumlow the past couple of weeks and I’ve missed writing for Billy so I hope you like what I did here

Thank you again!

With or Without You

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: little bit of angst, fluff

Word Count: 1.3k-ish

Summary: You see a picture of Billy that you’re not very happy with

A/N: This is one of my favorite songs even though I don’t like U2 all that much.

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

He was so stubborn but you were too.

Billy Russo made you absolutely crazy. No other man frustrated you like he did but you’ve never loved anyone as much as you loved him either which is why seeing that picture of him online kissing another woman shattered your heart.

The ache you felt in your chest was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It was betrayal on another level as tears pricked your eyes scrolling through social media and stopping on a grainy picture of Billy’s lips locked on someone else’s other than yours.

It was from the event that you weren’t able to attend with him because you didn’t feel well.

He told you, “Of course it’s alright, sweet girl. Just get some rest, I love you.”

“I love you.”

Those words were hard for him to say at first, he had never said them and meant it until he fell for you. That’s what he told you, so how could he do this to you? Just like it was difficult to give his heart to someone, it was hard for you to give your heart away too.

All of the others had no problem taking and taking from you but in the end you were alone with a feeling of emptiness from the pieces of you they selfishly took with them when they left.

Against your better judgement, his too, you both opened up your souls to each other, leaving your hearts vulnerable to everything you worked so hard to protect.

Sometimes it was so hard to live with him, even though you didn’t physically live WITH him. The long hours, the constant worrying about him, hoping he was alright taking on so many jobs, and the exhaustion plastered all over his face…you’ve never known anyone that worked as hard as he did.

You didn’t want to live without him though. Billy made you crazy, fights with him made you want to rip your hair out, his jealousy sometimes got out of control but yours did too, hence the rage you felt burning inside your body right now.

You wanted to find that woman and tear her limb from limb, break all of her fingers that were holding Billy’s head in place while she kissed him, and make sure she never messes with another woman’s boyfriend again.

Several texts from Billy came through as you continued to stare at the photo, tears stinging your eyes like stars burning against the night sky.

“Please talk to me, sweet girl.”

“I really need to talk to you.”

“I love you, baby…please answer me.”

Newspapers and websites marketed Billy as an “eligible” bachelor, even though he was in a relationship with you. They built him up to be a local celebrity. From humble beginnings to a handsome successful CEO, Billy Russo was the object of every woman’s affection and you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started dating him but you thought you could handle it.

And you could, until now. You didn’t want to break up with him but you couldn’t look at him or talk to him right now, it hurt too much.

Seeing that photo broke you and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the house that day. The caption for the photo made you breathless with anger and caused your mouth to tighten.

“Where’s your girlfriend tonight, Billy Russo?”

**********

Dark gray clouds blanketed the early afternoon sky while the autumn winds blew around the sparse branches of the trees down below. You could feel the draft coming into your apartment from the weakened seals in the windows that your landlord said he was going to replace months ago. Thankfully your favorite sweater was keeping you warm as you sat down on the couch to enjoy a cup of hot tea.

Loud raps against your door startled you before you could take your first sip, almost spilling the tea into your lap.

“Baby, open the door please! I know you’re home, you haven’t left the house all day.” He said loudly so you could hear him from the other side of the door.

How does he know that? Was he spying on you?

“I don’t wanna talk to you right now, Billy!” You shouted.

Suddenly, the front door flew open and crashed against the wall. Billy had told you before that your front door should be replaced because of how old it is.

Well, he wasn’t wrong and now it definitely needs to be replaced but you were furious because of how far he took it. Just like the door, he was unhinged. But again, that’s Billy. Always quick to fly off the handle.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!” You yelled. “ARE YOU INSANE?!!”

You stood up and set your tea on the coffee table as Billy walked over to you.

“I’m not leaving until I explain myself, y/n! I know you’re angry, I know you saw the photo but that woman kissed ME, alright?!! Yeah, I had more to drink that I usually do at these things but I was upset that you weren’t with me last night!” He confessed.

You stood there looking at him with a confused look on your face. You had been to a lot of these fundraiser events with Billy, why was he so upset about you not being at this one?

“I wasn’t feeling well, Billy. I said I was sorry and you said it was ok! Go in my room, the dress I wanted to wear is still hanging on the edge of the door, I didn’t do this on purpose!” You exclaimed.

His expression softened and he was visibly upset, but he wasn’t angry.

Billy lowered his voice. “I know you didn’t, I just…had something planned, that’s all. And I pushed her away as soon as her lips touched mine, ask Frankie.”

You could tell Billy felt terrible for what happened and you…believed him.

“She had been following me around all night. I’m so sorry, sweet girl, I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“What did you have planned, Billy?” You said, remembering what he mentioned a minute ago.

He ran his long fingers through is ebony colored hair and brushed his beard as he paced back and forth, looking very nervous about what he was going to say next.

“I was gonna ask you if…if you would move in with me.” He said.

You felt your stomach drop and start to flutter. Your eyes welled up with tears, happy tears this time.

“Billy…I—I” You started to say.

He interrupted you. “I know we’re together most of the time but on nights that we’re not, I don’t like going to bed alone or waking up alone. I don’t like being without you. I love you.”

Billy inched closer to you, close enough to inhale the scent of his cologne and you felt his warm breath on your lashes.

You snaked your arms around his neck and gazed into his deep brown eyes. “I love you too, handsome. You make me absolutely nuts but I’d rather be with you than without you, so my answer is yes.”

Gently scraping your nails against his scalp, you pulled him closer so you could kiss him which he gladly returned. He loved being touched by you, and only you.

“I told you that you needed a new door, that thing was easy to kick in.” He chuckled.

You playfully slapped his shoulder. “You lunatic, I’m gonna get in so much trouble for that! I know I’m gonna be leaving anyway but you owe me a new door, Mr. Russo.”

He kissed you on the forehead. “I’ll get you a new door, baby…I’ll get you whatever you want.”

Through the storm, we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you, ah, ah

I can't live

With or without you

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #billy russo x female reader #ericca answers #ericca’s 400 follower celebration #thank you!!#ericca and selene

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raaorqtpbpdy · 7 months

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In reference to that one post b/c reblogs got turned off, I’ll be real with you guys, I actually do less research for my DP/DC fics compared to my non-crossover fics for either fandom. Not no research because I can’t help myself, but I realized a long time ago that 99% of this crossover fandom simply will not recognize or appreciate the work.

I’ve been in the DP fandom for a few years now, and I’ve been into DC stuff for even longer. So I know a lot of the characters fairly well (admittedly not all of them b/c there are a shit ton of dc characters), but when I write a DC fic I’ll read whole new comic runs to make sure the characterization is right, when I write a DC/DP crossover I just use whatever version of the character is funniest or fits the vibes best, even if it’s not fully accurate.

A DC fan will complain about mischaracterization while another lauds you on how well you characterized their fave (same character).

A DP fan will complain about made-up non-canon lore not being used.

A DP/DC fan will leave comments like “I love this fic, but I wish X character would have done this completely OOC thing because it would be funny lol”

I’ll defend myself to DP and DC fans but with crossover fans it’s usually not worth it. And they’re usually right. It would be funny.

#all of the above based on real examples from the comments of fics I’ve actually written #and somehow I love all of these fandoms anyway #I’m definitely in the ‘write for yourself’ camp #but I’m also in the ‘know your audience’ camp #I’m willing to do more work for DC fics because I know people besides myself will notice and appreciate it #same for DP only #but for crossover fics half the time the DP characters are OOC and the DC characters are unrecognizable #the fandom isn’t gonna notice or care so I’ll write however I want #and it’s probably still more in-character than a lot of people’s fics #dpxdc

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frankie-bell · 1 year

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An Essay Exploring Psycho-Pass's Most Controversial Character

I know I’m opening a huge, slimy can of worms and potentially incurring the wrath of half the Psycho-Pass fandom, but I feel compelled to share my feelings on Mika Shimotsuki and how I believe she serves as a lightning rod for fan culture misogyny. Now, before I start, let me just say that this essay isn’t targeted at any one individual, and it’s just my personal opinion, which you are more than welcome to disagree with. I’d also like to stress that, despite my love for Mika’s character, I’m going to try my very best to approach this topic from an academic standpoint rather than an emotional one. I recently picked Parasocial Relationships and their effect on female celebrities and fictional characters as a thesis for my Gender and Media course, and it really got me thinking about this anime in particular, so here we go…

Let’s tackle the female side of things first, because it’s the one that shocks and disappoints me the most. Don’t get me wrong -- I think fandoms with a strong female presence are awesome, complex, uplifting, and oftentimes incredibly positive and inclusive spaces. I love being a female genre fan and interacting with other female genre fans. That said, I’ve noticed female fandom can sometimes fall prey to online bullying and misogynistic groupthink when it comes to (a) female characters they find arrogant, bossy, mean, etc. and (b) female characters who are positioned as potential love interests for their collective male "blorbos," "husbandos," "faves," whatever the term may be. These two things very often overlap, which I’ll touch on later, but for now, let’s talk about the first point.

There was a big movement online several years ago urging creators to “let women be mean. Let them be angry. Let them be petty and complex and difficult. Let them be messy.” I fully support this idea in both theory and practice and wish it were that simple, but unfortunately, it’s not, because uncomfortably large swaths of fandom don’t like/appreciate unapologetically mean female characters the way they do male characters. Men in fiction are allowed to be cutthroat, selfish, cruel, narcissistic, arrogant, and even evil without garnering even a fraction of the judgement that female characters receive for simply being “difficult” or “unlikable.”

Take, for instance, Shougo Makishima. The Psycho-Pass fandom at large adores this character (myself included), despite the fact that he’s a remorseless sociopath who touts the importance of free will as a wholesale excuse for murder. He is a bad person, full-stop, and yet he garners love -- even sympathy -- in abundance. He’s the subject of fawning fan fiction, chibi art, thirst tweets, and endless Reddit analysis. Fans are capable of seeing him, murderous warts and all, as a product of the warped dystopian society Sibyl has created. But Mika? Nope. Just “a bitch, a whiner, an arrogant little girl who deserves to get slapped in the mouth.” (I am not making this up. These are the type of comments I see *female* fans making left and right about her character). She receives far more hate for giving up the location of Akane’s grandmother as a blackmailed, frightened teenager than Makishima does for slashing Yuki’s throat or blowing up Masaoka. Hell, she catches more heat for Akane’s grandmother than Sakuya Togane, the woman’s actual murderer and -- I can’t stress this enough -- a 41-year-old adult man.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking -- Makishima and Togane are villains, so their personality flaws (putting it lightly) and horrible actions are essential to the narrative and indicative of good storytelling. We’re meant to “love to hate them.” All correct, and yet this doesn’t change or excuse the fact that their standing in the fandom, when compared to the equally complex and emotionally fractured Mika, is textbook pernicious misogyny. But, for the sake of argument, let’s compare Mika to another character ostensibly on the side of good -- Nobuchika Ginoza. [Note: Ginoza is my favorite character in Psycho-Pass, and any commentary regarding his PP1 shittiness is made with pure love and appreciation for him and nuanced character growth in general.]

When we first meet Ginoza, he is rude, terse, unyielding, intellectually smug, and totally unforgiving of those closest to him. He’s a brilliant character, and his behavior, no matter how insufferable and seemingly cruel, is the result of compounded trauma -- the trauma of having his father ripped away when he was only nine, the trauma of being unfairly judged for the “sins” of said latent criminal father, the trauma of his mother numbing her pain with medication and eventually becoming something akin to a human corpse, the trauma of finding a new support system and best friend in Kougami only to once again be “abandoned” for the other side of the law. In many ways, he’s still a hurt child lashing out at the world, unwilling to see it for the complicated, morally gray place that it is, because being mad is easier. Telling himself that Enforcers are nothing more than dogs for him to guide and use as shields is easier. Blindly trusting the judgements handed down by Sibyl is easier.

In this way, he and Mika are remarkably similar. When she first joins the MWPSB, she’s a 17-year-old minor whose best friend (and probably first love) was dismembered by a latent criminal under the direction of a serial killer disguising himself as a teacher -- a trusted authority figure. She’s filled with guilt and self-loathing over her failure to act, and the easiest way for her to sort out her feelings and ensure the same thing doesn’t happen again is to harden herself to all latent criminals. Distrusting them, treating them as “other,” is her form of self-preservation. Yes, it makes her come across as mean, as closed-minded, as unlikable, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s good storytelling, and it presents her with plenty of potential for growth, which she is certainly given.

[Upon discovering that her best friend, fellow Oso Academy student Kagami Kawarazaki, has been murdered by Rikako Oryo, Mika breaks down in tears, blaming herself for the tragedy. This is the moment her distrust of latent criminals is solidified.]

But, unlike Ginoza (a 28-year-old adult man), over half the fandom decided that Mika was so awful, so totally unforgivable, such a “heinous cunt,” that they were unwilling to allow her the time and space to grow beyond her trauma and immaturity. But why? Is it because we’ve been taught to judge women, even fictional ones, based on a different set of criteria than men? I think the answer is obvious, and I urge fans who dislike Mika’s character with such intensity to seriously examine their reasoning. I don’t mean to say that she’s infallible (hardly) or that it’s wrong to dislike her. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and no one person’s take is more valid than another’s, but it’s definitely something to think about in the larger conversation that is media analysis.

Which brings me to Akane Tsunemori, someone who fits all the abovementioned criteria for a “likeable” female character. [Another note: I love Akane, and none of this is meant to disparage her. I am simply trying to point out that she’s a more easily digestible female when viewed through the patriarchal lens of pop culture.] She’s smart but not arrogant about it, strong-willed but never disagreeable, empathetic but not easily led by her emotions, and most importantly, she’s always kind to the fandom’s male faves. She is, in almost every way, trademark "Best Girl" material, and Mika is her foil (at least in PP2). She’s set up to be the anti-Akane, both in personality and narrative function. If Akane trusts someone, Mika doesn’t. If Akane wants to bend the rules, Mika is rigid in upholding them. If Akane isn’t afraid of clouding her Hue, Mika is downright terrified.

Though it’s never stated outright, she probably hoped her senior Inspector would serve as a mentor figure, yet we see none of that from Akane, who often abandons Mika to chase down seemingly wild leads and appears to be stuck in the past, yearning for the original Division 01. (Mika even says as much to Ginoza in a novelization of the first film.) On top of that, I think it’s important to remember that we’re predisposed to side with Akane, as she is both our POV protagonist *and* the hero of the narrative. We have unprecedented access to her private moments, motivations, and methodology. We know she means well and trust that her unconventional strategy will pay off in the end. Mika does not. All she knows is that her direct superior is habitually breaking the rules, overloading her team with what feels like excessive busywork, and ignoring the more bureaucratic side of the job in favor of unconventional/unsanctioned detective work. If I’m being perfectly honest, I would also be submitting concerned reports to my boss.

[When Akane blatantly disregards Sibyl's judgement of bomber Akira Kitazawa, talking him down from a Crime Coefficient of 302 to 299, Mika confronts her for putting both their colleagues and nearby civilians in danger. This later proves to be the right call, as Kitazawa attacks Inspector Risa Aoyanagi and escapes police custody.]

[While investigating Kirito Kamui, Akane keeps her suspicions/theories close to the chest, leaving Mika and the rest of Division 01 in the dark as to her game plan.]

[Although Akane's decision to entrust Hinakawa with all 185 Halos proves to be the right one, it's understandable why Mika is taken aback by her placing so much responsibility on a single subordinate -- especially one with Hinakawa's history.]

Now, that’s not to say Mika’s feelings about Akane are purely altruistic. She’s definitely jealous of her senior Inspector and resents her standing within the Bureau, which makes her behave in ways both petty and vindictive. But I’d argue that this, too, is understandable, if not wholly forgivable, when viewed through Mika’s eyes. Picture this: You’re the youngest-ever recruit to a highly coveted position. You follow protocol to a T, are deferential to your superiors, and show a genuine aptitude for the job. Even your callousness toward the Enforcers (again, your childhood best friend was butchered by a latent criminal) is in accordance with Sybil’s will. Shitty, yes, but standard for someone raised within the Orwellian hellscape of 2100s Japan. And yet, everyone around you prefers your senior Inspector. Your subordinates defer to her when you’re the officer in charge (Hinakawa) and even help her game the system (Ginoza). The Chief tells you you’re boring, but displays obvious favoritism toward her. This severely harms your self-esteem and colors the way you interact with everyone around you. After all, it’s hard to feel like a valued member of the team when you’re being undermined and lectured at every turn. This doesn’t excuse Mika’s behavior, and if she didn’t evolve, I might understand some of the hate, but she does evolve. Spectacularly. She’s just not Akane, and that’s okay.

[While dealing with the hostage situation in PP2, Mika notices Hinakawa working on something off to the side. When she confronts him about it, he admits that he's acting on Akane's orders, even though Mika is technically the officer in charge.]

[A similar incident occurs in Sinners of the System: Case. 1, when Ginoza shoots down Mika's (admittedly ridiculous) plan, which she interprets as him once again siding with Akane over her.]

Again, this is good storytelling at work, and you can acknowledge that these two women are diametrically opposed and still appreciate -- hell, even like -- both of them for the well-written characters they are. After all, most Psycho-Pass fans like both Kougami and Ginoza in PP1 despite their many differences, not to mention the fact that Ginoza is (and I say this with love) a giant asshole. Let’s not forget, he was *this close* to microwaving Kougami at Chief Kasei’s behest. You can tell yourself he wouldn’t have, but are you sure? Are you really sure? But we forgive him, because he’s a man. Anyway, back to Akane and Mika. For reasons I’ll never understand, many fans find it borderline impossible to love two women with beef, whether it’s one-sided or mutual. There can only be one Best Girl, and everyone better be on her team. It reminds me of the Sansa vs. Daenerys discourse that gripped the Game of Thrones fandom in its last few seasons. This is doubly ridiculous in Psycho-Pass’s case, because Akane and Mika come to trust, respect, and depend on each other. But people decided to hate this 19-year-old forever, so none of that matters.

[Notice how Ginoza's gaze narrows ominously in the last frame, suggesting he might actually have pulled the trigger, thereby killing his best friend, had Akane not intervened.]

Now, let’s return to my earlier point about certain fans irrationally hating any female character they deem unworthy of their blorbo, husbando, etc. This is where Parasocial Relationships become extremely interesting. As mentioned above, Ginoza is my favorite character in Psycho-Pass, which I think is pretty common. While I myself have never been one for self-insertion or creating OCs to pair with my favorite characters, I understand that it’s a popular trend, and if you enjoy it, more power to you. It becomes problematic, however, when those who engage in self-shipping/OC-shipping decide to collectively gang up on the female character creators have paired (or hinted at pairing) with the object of their affection. Enter GinoMika. Now, I know what you’re thinking -- “But Mika’s a lesbian!” I don’t necessarily agree. Do I think she was in love with her best friend at Oso Academy? Yes. Do I think she had a crush on Yayoi at the beginning of PP2? Yes. Do I also think it’s obvious she currently has feelings for Ginoza, which have been steadily growing since Sinners of the System? Absolutely. For this reason, I interpret her as being both bisexual and demisexual. But that’s beside the point --

The point is that many Ginoza fans who ship him with themselves, their OCs, or Akane (remember, she’s Best Girl) seem to enjoy trashing on Mika like it’s an Olympic sport. And when I say “trashing,” I don’t mean your normal yet still disappointing level of ship nonsense; I mean unhinged, violent rhetoric that makes me feel like the Internet is a place where women can never win. And why? Because she was mean to him when she first started working for the MWPSB? As if he was oh-so-kind to the Enforcers who worked under him. I seem to recall him screaming at his father and threatening to “make him pay” for visiting his sick wife without permission. Oh, and then there was the time he introduced Akane to her new colleagues by telling her, “Don’t think that the guys you’re about to meet are humans like us.” But yes, Mika once told him that she didn’t want his opinion as a latent criminal, which is so much worse. And before you can say that she’s still a bitch to him, let me point out that she is a textbook tsundere. That’s how she flirts, shows affection, etc. She can never come right out and say what she means, because that would make her vulnerable. But she can surreptitiously tell Ginoza he better come back alive by insisting he return her special Dominator. You know, because it would be a real hassle if she had to replace that thing.

[The language Ginoza uses when introducing Akane to the Enforcers, including his own best friend and father, is deeply dehumanizing.]

[When Aoyanagi takes Masaoka to visit his estranged wife, Ginoza reacts with explosive anger, reprimanding his father in front of their colleagues and threatening to retaliate should he do it again.]

Which brings us, at long last, to the male portion of the fandom. While many female fans like to call Mika out for her more negative character traits, completely ignoring any and all growth she’s experienced since PP2, male fans tend to direct their anger, dislike, etc. in a much more aggressive manner. I wish I was exaggerating when I say that I’ve seen multiple posts praying for Mika’s rape and subsequent murder. You can’t dive into a single “Season 4 Wish List” thread without finding at least one person wishing extreme ill on Mika Shimotsuki. It's pure misogyny, classic “I’ll fuck the bitch right out of her” rhetoric, and it has no place in this fandom or any other. You would never see a male character being talked about in these terms. Consider this: There’s more fan fiction featuring Mika being raped or coerced into sex by her tormentor, Sakuya Togane, than her having a positive, consensual experience with any other character. Love her or hate her, that is extremely fucked up. We as a fandom need to do better, because once this type of misogyny can be weaponized against fictional characters, it becomes much easier to use against real people. Fan culture, though it might seem trivial, says a lot about us and our values.

[This is just a sampling of the comments you'll find on Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, and other social media sites.]

That said, I’d like to end this essay on a more positive note, so let’s take a look at all the ways in which Mika has become a better, more compassionate human being over the course of the series...

By PP3, she shows obvious concern for her Enforcers, values their opinions, and treats them like integral members of her team. In an especially cute scene, she even fist-bumps Tenma Todoroki after they work seamlessly to defeat Koichi Azusawa’s henchmen. She also makes a point to attend the party thrown in the Enforcers’ quarters, as she now longs to be part of the gang -- a gang she would have actively shunned in PP2.

[During First Inspector, Mika shows time and again that she's willing to work with and for her Enforcers.]

[As Chief, Mika realizes that Enforcers deserve respect and gratitude from their superiors. They are no longer dogs to her.]

[In PP2, Mika tells Ginoza she doesn't care what the Enforcers think of her. By PP3, however, we see her display concern that her team might find her dull. She wants to be liked and accepted by them.]

She becomes far more flexible with her co-workers, allowing Inspectors Arata Shindo and Kei Mikhail Ignatov plenty of freedom to conduct investigations as they see fit. Yes, she consistently scolds them (textbook tsundere behavior), but this is done in a manner far more humorous than anything else. We know she actually trusts them and has their best interests at heart; she just can’t bring herself to say it aloud. She also repeatedly takes heat from Chief Hosorogi on their behalf and is genuinely worried for Arata when it seems like Sibyl might “eliminate” him. The palpable relief on her face when she finds out he’s allowed to remain an Inspector speaks volumes.

[Throughout PP3, Mika allows Kei and Arata to play to their individual strengths, even if it means bending the rules -- something she would never have done in PP2 or the first film.]

[Just look at that excited face. No caption necessary.]

She goes out of her way to make sure the immigrant prostitutes saved by religious leader Joseph Auma are protected following his death. This is an especially big deal, since many of these individuals are latent criminals, and Mika is forced to ask her newfound nemesis, Frederica Hanashiro, for a favor in order to secure their safety. When she tries to pretend it’s no big deal, Frederica calls her bluff by pointing out that no one would stoop to asking someone they hate for help in order to protect people whose fates they don’t care about.

[Even though Mika detests Frederica, she puts the well-being of the immigrants before her own pride.]

In Sinners of the System: Case. 1, her distrust of latent criminals is permanently altered after dealing with Izumi Yasaka, whom she works tirelessly to rescue and comes to view as brave, capable, and worthy of reintegration into society. She also displays genuine concern for and lack of discrimination toward Takeya Kukuri, the young son of a latent criminal, and is horrified to discover that the latent criminal inmates at Sanctuary are being used as disposable tools to move nuclear waste canisters.

[Sinners of the System: Case. 1 marks a decided shift in the way Mika views latent criminals. Instead of lumping them all together, she begins to see them as individuals who deserve basic human rights.]

[Even though Mika is unable to save all the latent criminals at Sanctuary, she does everything in her power to ensure Yasaka and Takeya walk away clean.]

When Enforcer Mao Kisaragi turns out to be the “fox within the CID,” Mika and the rest of Division 01 are united in supporting her claim of innocence. Mika trusts (without concrete proof, mind you) that she’s telling the truth about being an unwitting accomplice, something she never would have done in PP2 or even the first film.

[While the old Mika would have been the first person to distrust Kisaragi, here we see her standing up for the beleaguered Enforcer.]

She comes to respect Division 01 (Akane, Ginoza, Sugo, Hinakawa, Kunizuka, and Shion), views them as a surrogate family, and misses them once their unit is disbanded. In Sinners of the System: Case. 3, Frederica Hanashiro, who temporarily worked as part of their unit, says, “CID Division 01… They’re not just capable; they have a rare teamwork that overcomes the barrier between Inspectors and Enforcers.” Yes, this is mostly due to Akane’s guiding influence, but it’s clear Frederica is talking about the whole team. It’s taken Mika years to get there, but she is now definitely part of the group, not a jealous outsider looking in. In fact, even Mika’s obvious dislike of Frederica in PP3 is a clear result of this affection. After finally finding a place to belong, she feels as though Frederica swooped in and stole her found family, leaving her right back where she started -- on the outside.

[Though she'll never admit it, Mika views Ginoza as both a mentor and a friend. When he leaves the PSB to join SAD/MOFA, she misses having him around.]

[During her lowest moment in PP2, a jealous Mika actually hopes that Akane's Hue will darken. In Sinners of the System: Case. 2, she pleads with her to take her own safety more seriously. It's clear a big change has occurred in the intervening years.]

[Instead of feeling constant competition with Akane, by PP3, Mika is finally able to give her her due. It's clear they trust and respect each other despite their many differences.]

She’s grown from an immature young woman who couldn’t bring herself to take responsibility for her failures -- most notably her involvement in Akane’s grandmother’s murder -- to a responsible PSB Chief who holds herself accountable for anything that goes wrong with her Inspectors and Enforcers. This is most evident in her reaction to Koichi Azusawa taking control of Nona Tower and subsequently endangering the lives of MWPSB faculty and agents. We first see inklings of this change near the end of PP2, when Kunizuka tells Mika she’ll never forgive the person who gave up Aoi Tsunemori’s location, and Mika responds in kind. It’s clear that she’s not merely parroting a response to save her own skin but is deeply troubled and filled with regret over her own actions.

[In PP2, Mika is constantly blaming others for her mistakes. By First Inspector, she's owning mistakes she didn't even make.]

[Mika trusts her team so much, she's willing to put her job on the line.]

[Although Mika doesn't come clean to Kunizuka about her role in Aoi Tsunemori's death, it's clear she’s haunted by it. Later, when she confesses the truth to Ginoza, he admits to feeling a similar guilt over the way he treated his late father, telling Mika they'll have to bear their respective shame silently for the rest of their lives.]

And lastly, I believe the biggest example of Mika's growth can be found in what is arguably her most important relationship -- the one she shares with Ginoza. Whether you view them as mentor/mentee, begrudging friends, potential love interests, or all three, you can't deny that they have one of the most interesting and entertaining dynamics in the series. As mentioned above, when Mika first meets Ginoza, she views him as a cautionary tale. His demotion from Inspector to Enforcer is her worst nightmare, something that could conceivably happen to her, though she'll never admit it. Because of this, she treats him with hostility, disregarding his opinions and shunning his advice. But the longer they work together, the more we realize that Ginoza brings out the best in Mika -- and vice-versa. His calm, cool demeanor tempers her fiery spirit, and her enthusiasm makes him feel like he still has a purpose. By the time PP3 rolls around, he's become her #1 confidant, the person she calls whenever she has intel to share, grievances to air, etc. And you can't deny that Mika is the one person who makes Ginoza funny. Their flirtatious banter is genuinely charming and shows the softer, more human side of both their characters.

[Given her history with latent criminals, Mika refuses to listen to Ginoza, even when he's coming from a place of experience and genuinely trying to help her.]

[After working together for several years, Mika learns to value Ginoza's opinion and even feels proud when he compliments her.]

[During the Sanctuary case, Ginoza admits to both Akane and himself that being an Enforcer isn't so bad, as long as Mika is the one calling the shots. He knows she has a good heart, and working for her reminds him why he joined the MWPSB in the first place.]

[Notice how Mika's body language changes from PP2 to Sinners of the System. She now looks at Ginoza with appreciation and, in certain instances, affection. The fact that he views her the same way speaks volumes about how far their relationship has come.]

If you made it to the end of this mammoth post, thank you for sticking with me. Hopefully, we can all treat Mika with a little more patience, kindness, and respect when PP4 arrives.

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starrylayle · 2 years

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Soman’s failed POC and Queer rep in the SGE saga — And why criticism is essential to the movie (franchise)

[repost]

Before I start though, I’d like to say that if you have any argument about forced representation, dni. I don’t give a shit that ur faves aren’t white anymore — and please stop fucking harassing Soman and the cast about this non-issue.

Now onto the racial criticism of Soman’s work, which I don’t see talked enough about.

Being a person of colour does not mean you are exempt from racial criticism. I’m sure this is known by now, but in the books, literally everyone is white. Like EVERYONE. And not only that, the beauty standards he portrays and tries to critique (but then fails miserably at unfortunately) are so Eurocentric it’s quite disheartening actually - pale skin, small noses, coloured eyes, etc. The themes are also quite Eurocentric as well — if you had told me that the books were written by a white author, I would believe you.

Now, I’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt here, considering he was writing a middle grade series as a marginalised author, which was a lot more difficult at the time, and because he does genuinely try to improve his POC rep in the later books (even if that does include retconning character’s previous descriptions lol). In that same vein, the cast is also noticeably more diverse, and I truly applaud Soman for that. However, he has not said anything in regards to the racism the cast have been getting, which considering his influence on the fandom, would have been much appreciated. (The only casting choice he actually spent some time defending was brunette Tedros 💀💀 — like mate, get your priorities together!). Also, since whiteness is quite intrinsic to the core themes of the story (I’ll make a separate post on that later), I worry that the movie will unintentionally be pushing it. And if that’s the case, people should be allowed to critique this (hypothetical) poor depiction of race, without it being considered racist. (As previously mentioned — this excludes those fucking weirdos who just hate on the cast coz their faves aren’t white anymore 🙄🙄)

Ok so, in regards to the queer-coding/queer-baiting:

Just like being a POC doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised racism, being queer doesn’t mean u can’t have internalised homophobia, especially to other members of the community. I don’t know why exactly Soman struggles with writing queer rep so much (I mean I can understand in 2013 — but now plenty of middle grade books include queer characters), but he barely has any canon gay rep.

Tristan/Yara, who is not even specified whether they are gay or trans, is one of the first characters to die, with absolutely no resolution to their arc whatsoever - and their queerness is never mentioned again. The next confirmed queer couple are two backgrounder guys who barely have any significance to the story. The couple after that are two evil white boys, who are only confirmed to be queer after they both die. They are are the only relevant gay characters at this point — yet ofc they’re dead, white and evil. This wouldn’t be a problem if there were other (good) queer characters, but since that is not the case, it just comes off as rather… icky.

Now notice how all these couples, as poorly written as they are, are all (white) gay men? There are hints that Hester and anadil might be in a relationship, but it’s never explicitly confirmed.

In addition, sophie and Agatha are explicitly queer coded — (I made a post about it on my acc for anyone’s interested) — they even kiss!! Of course people are going to be mad that they were baited into a relationship that ended up being incesteous! Especially, ESP, considering that Agatha is now a Black girl in this adaptation. We barely see any white canon wlw couples in media — Black sapphics are almost unheard of in the mainstream, especially as leads. first kill, one show that featured a Lesbian Black girl lead (a Dark-skinned one at that!)— got cancelled. And this happens all the time. Lesbians/sapphics, esp sapphics of colour, ESP Balck sapphics are barely given any time of day in our media in favour of centring gay white men in queer narratives, and thus they have every right to be upset at the queer baiting.

I’m not Black, but as a queer woman of colour, Agatha’s character has always been very special to me. I’ve always thought she should be a POC considering how different her and her mum are from the rest of her cookie-cutter village, and queer because she did not fit into conventional notions of femininity. It would be so awesome to see Agatha, a queer woman of colour, as the lead in a high-budget fantasy series. But alas, that is too many marginalised identities for the general audience.

Not only that, the twin reveal was just plain bad writing. It had absolutely no bearing at the story whatsoever and is never mentioned again. It was just done purely for shock value, and for that, I will absolutely critique Soman.

I know that this discourse is tired and worn out — and understandably so, it’s been years. However, now that this movie is approaching mainstream — At worst, this queer baiting can already add to the whole ‘lesbian relationships aren’t serious’ and other terrible stereotypes. At best, it deprives sapphics of much needed representation in mainstream fantasy films.

Remember, unlike with the books, we as fans have the power to influence the story. If the creators see how unpopular the twist is with the public, they can probably change it. We can make a difference! Btw, this doesn’t mean sophie and Agatha should be endgame — I’d like for them to be in a short term relationship and be confirmed as canonically queer — Tagatha can still be the end couple! (Not hophie tho, coz sophie is a lesbian and I despise Hort lol).

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