#i’ve been stuck on twt

[tsar3na]

i finally got my blog back do any of my moots still exist

[serenadeofsunshine]

love is stored in the moose + bunny :o)

[chaosduckies]

Friends In Small Places (Chapter 1)

The size shifter story is finally here! This is more of a slightly sad piece, even though this first chapter isn’t really all that gloomy and monochrome, I actually have this entire plot line planned out and everything, and whew is the ending going to be something.

But I hope you enjoy! (this chapter is mainly just for introductions so I’m sorry if there really isn’t anything interesting TwT)

Word Count: 4.2k

CW: Depression, major anxiety, slight gore warning? (Though nothing actually happens)

1-Liam

Today the main hall was bustling with people crowding the board that had all of the activities and clubs posted on. Most of the time people didn’t care all too much about it, only the people who were actually in those clubs, but today was different for some reason. Fitting in between the seemingly hundreds of people, I saw what the commotion was all about. The psychology classes were all being called to a meeting at four. Which was when most classes ended, but still. It’s rare that this school ever calls meetings. It just so happens that I was taking psychology though. 

I sighed, moving back on the free sidewalk get to the library. A friend was waiting for me to help her study for a test she had in just a few hours. I thought I might as well help seeing that I’ve already taken the course. I used to think that college was extremely strict from how my old high school teachers described it, but in reality it’s not that hard when you just take the time to study and take a few practice tests the day before one. It was just two-and-a-half years before I major in psychology and become a therapist. Well, that was my dream anyways. In this world, it was a lot harder given that most therapists get assigned to a size shifter. That was something I didn’t want to do. Well, maybe if it was one who could only shrink, but that’s maybe it. It freaks me out knowing that there are some shifters who could be as tall as a small skyscraper, and some even bigger. A shiver ran down my spine even thinking about it. But that won’t happen. 

Among the few people sitting at the quiet tables lines with pencils, a few pieces of notebook paper, and a lamp that barely even worked, there was a girl waving her arms around aimlessly trying to gain my attention. I laughed softly before walking and sitting down next to her. It seemed she had been here for hours with how she kept her space. Papers spewed all across with scribbled down notes that was barely even legible, colored pens in a mixed mess with her other writing supplies. It made you wonder how she had even made it to college. 

“I see you’ve been hard at work, Rhya.” I set my slightly heavy bag down and started attempting to clean up the vast sums of paper all over the desk and try to keep her notes in order. 

“Yeah well, not everyone can be all neat and tidy as you are.” She lightly elbowed me before grabbing the stack of papers in my hand and shoving them in a folder. I guess she was going to re-do them after all. Either that or she didn’t need them. Despite this being primarily a nursing and health school, Rhya was in the art department. Of course she had to take the core classes along with her own elective, but she plans on becoming a graphic designer. 

“It’s not my fault I know how to study and you don’t.” I joked around, watching her pull out her computer and grab a few empty pages on notebook paper and her calculus book. 

“And it’s not my fault you don’t know how to have any fun.” She stuck her tongue out playfully before pulling up a practice test. 

“Hey I know how to have fun, just not when I know I have better things to worry about.” She solved the first problem right, pumping her fist up in the air as she wrote down the question and highlighted everything she needed to do. I’m also guessing she planned to study whatever notes she was making. 

“I guess you have a point. How’s that psychology major coming along?” She had asked, writing down the problem and attempting to solve it. I sighed, pointing to the number she was missing, “You square root that,” Rhya groaned, “It’s going good. We have some kind of weird meeting later today though.” 

“Oh? Do you know what about?” Rhya asked, but I could tell she was hiding something from me. She knew something. 

“No. Do you?” I skeptically looked at her, earning a side eye right back as she had paused her writing for a moment. 

“Would you believe me if I said no?” She grumbled, I shook my head, a slight smile forming on my face. She knew I would win this argument. 

“Okay well, this might not be true, but I heard that a few psychology students were chosen to have a training. Like, the real deal kind of thing. Size shifter and all. That the ones chosen were supposed to act like one of those special therapists.” My heart nearly skipped a beat at the news. Where did she even hear this from in the first place? There’s no way that’s even real. 

“You’re kidding, right?” I laughed nervously. Even if it was true, I doubt they’d choose a sophomore. I’ve only really had a few practices and I still have a couple more years until I become the real deal. 

“Would I lie to you?” She turned to me, a worried look on her face. Did she think I would have to go through with that? I sincerely doubt it. There was no way they’d put me on whatever list they have going on. Maybe my upperclassman though. They could choose Chelsey, she was really good with everyone and a senior. They’d most likely choose her. Maybe even Ryan since he was really experienced. Actually, he was a size shifter himself, but he’s so good at controlling his emotions that he doesn’t even need to worry about accidentally shooting up a couple feet. 

“Ah, it doesn’t matter. I doubt they choose someone with barely any experience. Don't’ worry about it.” I smiled, pointing back to Rhya’s computer to tell her that she needed to get to studying and stop worrying about me. Seriously, she really needed to study otherwise she was going to fail. I can almost guarantee that she’ll be crying to me later when she fails her test. Not my fault she doesn’t study. 

——————

The gym was a large space, but our entire class only took up one tiny portion of the bleacher space as our instructor and several other people dressed up in fancy suits were talking on the ground. I sat next to Ryan, who was playing with the green-colored band on his wrist, showing that he was in one of the five classes of size shifters. Purple represented that they could shrink down to an inch or maybe even smaller if their emotions had the better of them. Blue represented that they could shrink too, but not as much as the one’s with a purple wrist. Green represented that they could both shrink and grow, but only to a certain height. Yellow meant that the shifter could grow to be the size of about a small building, or maybe even a little more depending on how they’re feeling. Red was by far the worst one. To me at least. The shifter’s with a red band can grow to heights you could only dream of. Which was why all shifters with a red band were all forced to be with a specialized therapist for only them. Because if they lose control of their emotions, it could end pretty badly.  

“I’m glad you all saw the announcement on the board. I’m a little surprised really.” Mr. Smith shoved his hands in his front pant pockets, taking a look at all of us before his eyes laid on me, smiling warmly. Why? Something was up. 

“These two gentlemen here are the head of the SSU. Also known as the company that helps size shifters in need. Recently, there has been a shortage of individuals that are willing to work with shifters in helping them control themselves. These two are on the look for candidates-in-training to help fill those missing spots.” 

The two men in suits walked to the front, holding out a clipboard. Those had whoever was going to be picked for this. But why this school? There was another college not too far from here. They could choose from them. Unless they were, and the “tiny” shortage was actually a big one. Or… no. They wouldn’t do that, right? It’s the SSU, they’ve literally helped the world become safer for decades. They wouldn’t be doing an experiment, would they? 

“It’s wonderful to see all sixty-two of you young scholars gathered here today. As your professor already said, we are both from the head office at SSU looking for the best of the best to fill in those empty spots, regardless if you do or don’t have any experience.” That last part made a shiver run down my spine. Ryan turned his head to me, patting me on the back. There was no way they’d choose a nobody like me. No way in hell. 

“This list contains twenty of you who will be taking part in this. You will be in charge of taking care of your designated partner until we can find a professional replacement suited well enough to take over. If I call your name, please stay behind after we dismiss everyone.” The tall man smiled, looking down at the clipboard and calling several names. The anxiety pricked my skin like icicle shards, it had almost seemed like the man reading off names was speaking in slow motion. A few deep breaths, and it was back to normal. 

“Ryan Wright.” He smiled while earning several compliments and congratulations from his fellow classmates. 

“Chelsey Torres.” She giggled a few seats away from us. 

“And Liam Rover.” 

My muscles tensed up at the mention of my name. I couldn’t tell if my heart had stopped or if it was just beating horrifyingly fast. I could tell people were trying to praise me, but I couldn’t hear, their appraisal only reaching my ears in a muffled and slow manner. I managed the most sincere smile I could while trying to hide how much I was trembling. Maybe this would be okay? Maybe I’ll be lucky and not be paired up with a shifter who could potentially crush me between two if their fingers if they really wished to. Was the room cold or was it just me? 

“Everyone else may head to their dorms. Thank you for coming.” 

After everyone had filed out of the empty gym, the other shorter man dressed in an identical suit as the taller one started calling out our names all over again, handing them a red folder with presumedly the shifter we’ll be assigned. Was this how it was when you’re actually a professional? You just get assigned to one? You don’t get to know them or anything? 

Once I was handed my folder, I dreaded every single second of opening it. Please let it be easy, please let it be easy, please let it be eas-

Oh. 

It was only a picture of who we were partnered up with and anything that might be worth mentioning about them. Wow was I overreacting. Then again, that didn’t exactly smoothen out the anxiety that was still pricking at my skin. Though, this shifter didn’t seem so bad. If anything, he actually looked pretty nice. The only thing I had noticed was that he was diagnosed with depression. He kind of looked like it too if I were being honest. It seemed hard for him to smile for the picture. Why did I also get the hint that he wasn’t feeling very good either? I guess I’ll find out when we officially meet. 

“Inside you’ll find who your partner will be for the foreseeable future. You’ll still be coming to your classes, which was why we mainly wanted to stick with the upperclassmen, and afterward go back to where we are currently housing your designated shifter. You have three days to pack everything you need and want, and you’ll soon be living off campus. Just think of it was having a roommate that needs constant supervision.” 

Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. I’m almost entirely confident that this shifter won’t really be a big deal. I mean, he looks about a year or two younger than me. So he just graduated high school? Agh, I have no idea. I’m just jumping to conclusions. But, hopefully they won’t make me handle anything crazy. That I can’t do. 

——————

They were driving me across the city to go meet up with the shifter I’ll be taking care of for however long. For all I know it could be a few days or weeks. I would think someone would want to step up for the job instead of letting students do this, but I guess not. Chelsey and Ryan have texted me a few times that they were getting settled in already while I was still heading over. It was already around thirty minutes just to get across the place, so that means I’ll have to take a bus almost everyday just to make it to my classes. That’s just great, but I’m in no position to complain. I actually tried talking with Professor Smith about it, but he told me that he had no say in the matter at all, which was weird. I doubt he would want his younger students to even take part in this. 

Along the streets were the many, many buildings that both accommodated for humans and their much larger or smaller companions. Although I’ve only ever been around Ryan about twice when he’s giant, it really wasn’t that bad. He can only grow till someone was like the height if his entire hand so it really wasn’t even that bad. Of course it’s still nerve-racking, but I trust him. Plus, we were at a small party with our little friend group. I doubt he could even bring himself to hurt someone. So really I wasn’t too worried. The only other shifter I’ve been around is an old high school friend of mine, but she goes to a different college now. 

Hundred of houses passed by us as we drove into a little neighborhood. What really made me worried was that the driver wasn’t exactly stopping at the normal-sized houses. Where was he going? I watched grimly as some of the huge houses we passed by came to a halt to one on the very end of one of the many streets. This one wasn’t as big as the other one’s down the street, but it wasn’t exactly small either. At least to me. So… I was paired up with a shifter who could only grow. That’s great. Just… great. 

I grabbed my bag and the small suitcase I had brought with me that was just full of my clothes and some stuff for school. Well if I’m supposed to stay here almost all of the time now I have to find something to keep me busy. And apparently from the immense size difference that will be between my new roommate and I. Of course I was terrified! If he really is diagnosed with depression and was a shifter who grew that only made matters worse for me. I hope whoever plans to take over for me does it soon. 

It took me and the driver to reach the doorstep, but eventually the driver gave it a knock. I swear I could hear some mumbling coming from the other side, but I didn’t dwell too much on that. Most.y because the extremely large door started to open slowly, but I saw no one on the other side. Maybe he was shy? 

“Well I may take my leave, though I have been ordered to tell you that a bus comes in the morning at around 6 just down the street from here, and another will take you back here around 5 and 8. Also, if anything goes wrong, to call this number on your phone.” He handed me a folded slip of paper, then took his leave. I shoved the slip in my pocket, hesitantly taking a few steps into the huge house. 

It was neatly cleaned around the place, though I couldn’t really see from my view on the ground. Everything around me was huge. I mean I’ve been to one of the rooms on the bigger side of the campus, but those rooms were smaller. It’s not an entire house filled with furniture. 

As I took a few steps out more, I jumped when the door had lightly closed behind me. My eyes trailed up and up, finding the face of the person I had seen in the picture. His eyes grew wide when I met his gaze, then bit the bottom of his lip before sliding his back against the wall behind him. 

Everything in my body told me to run, but if I did then I would only get scolded for it later. This isn’t even what I wanted to be! I wanted to be a normal therapist that helps regular adults and kids feel better. Not a human who could easily trap me in a fist and just kill me. I would have been fine if they could only shrink, but this was much worse. 

I faced down, taking a few deep breaths that barely even help me in this situation. I had to take care of someone fifty times my own size? How was that even possible? There weren’t even any smaller sized things around this place. Nothing that could help me get around easier either! 

I guess I could attempt to get his name. I mean, nothing could go wrong then, right? Just maybe from a distance… even if he could, at any point in time, just grab me whenever he so wanted. I felt sick just thinking about being held. Wouldn’t I have to be though? I can’t exactly just climb everywhere I want to go. 

“H-hi. Um, I’m Liam.” I forced myself to walk closer, even under his gaze, but I stopped walking closer when he moved himself further in the corner, looking a bit saddened. He probably knew I was scared. Maybe. I hope I’m some-what hiding it well enough. Though, I’ve never really been that good at it. 

“Oh, um, C-Casper. You can call me Cas if you want.” He kept his voice to a very quiet whisper. So he knew that if he talked too loud it would hurt my ears. At least he’s self-aware. Though, I couldn’t help but feel bad. I may be utterly terrified of him, but I mean he hasn’t really given me a reason to be truly scared, yet. 

“Nice to m-meet you, Cas.” I put on my best fake genuine smile. What? Have to find some way to convince him I wasn’t scared. Even if my body was trembling like crazy and my heart threatened to just come right out of my mouth. 

“Y-you too, sir.” His hand slightly twitched, but he just shook his head, giving me a sad look. ‘Sir?’ Why did he call me that? I didn’t dwell on it. Instead, I turned to look at the place, not finding a place to put my stuff. I sighed, hurrying to place it up against the wall opposite of Cas. This would be fine. Yeah, yeah. 

Casper, overall, seemed pretty nice. He had a black, messy hair that complimented his light-brown eyes. He wore a baggy long-sleeve shirt with a pair of jeans I have no idea why he was just wearing jeans in his own house, but it’s whatever he wants to do. Not my place to comment. The only real thing that caught my attention were the light bags in his eyes. Has he been sleeping? 

“Did you want to come here? Like, willingly?” He had asked, slightly leaning a little closer to my spot in the middle of the floor. I admit, it made me a little uneasy, but I don’t think he realized it. It just made it really hard to answer his question when all I could think about was how easily he could kill me right now. He wouldn’t do that, right? He seems so nice. Even if I’m barely two inches to him and I could easily just be crushed or accidentally killed if he wasn’t being too mindful. I shuddered at the thought, but forced my voice to work with me. 

“I-I’m just a student at a college. They just told us we were going to help out shifters, for like, real-world training I guess.” I started speaking a little fast and I could hear my voice slowly get quieter the more Cas seemed to lower his body to me. I felt so small compared to him. It’s overwhelming really, but it’s not like I can just back out. I already asked and they said if I did then I wasn’t cut out to stay in the classes. Seriously, all I wanted was to either be a therapist or a social worker. Not take on these huge responsibilities of making sure an entire living being is doing okay and doesn’t have any malicious intent to just… Aghhhh. 

“Oh. Well, I’m not exactly the best person to be paired up with.” He laughed sadly, holding up his wrist and revealing a red band. A little squeak left my mouth as I stood in place, practically frozen in fear. Why did they pair me up with him? They gave me more than I can handle. There was no way I could do this. I bit the side of my cheek, struggling to keep my composure. 

Cas caught onto my fear, scooting as far away from me as he could while making sure I wouldn’t freak out. Why did he move away? I was going to be fine. I think- But I was okay. Just as long as I keep a certain distance from him for a while. It takes me a long time to adjust to new things, and this might take me a while, but I couldn’t just do nothing. It was obvious to me that Cas was afraid of something, I just couldn’t figure out what just yet. 

“I’m fine, Cas, I promise.” I nervously smiled, hiding how terrified I was. Shifters with a red band can grow to heights you could only dream of. Great. Seriously, what have they done? They think I can handle someone who already looks like he’s struggling to keep himself together just by meeting me? I didn’t really want to find out what would happen if he doesn’t contain his emotions. Was there a person partnered up with him before? I knew I wasn’t going to be getting any answers, but there was no harm in asking them. 

“O-Okay,” He whispered, getting in a more comfortable sitting position, “Are you sure though? I don’t mind giving you an hour or two to get used to… everything.” He looked away for a second, and I could tell something was on his mind. Along with the constant moving away every time I had tried to walk closer, or when he knew I was scared of him, I would think to say that he’s scared of himself. Or, at least hurting other people. It makes sense actually. I’ve heard stories that a lot of shifters realize that they can really hurt people and just try their hardest not to interact with people smaller than themselves. It’s like they collapse on themselves since they don’t want to hurt anyone. I guess Cas and I weren’t so different. 

“Okay, look, it’s obvious that you’re more afraid of yourself than I am of you,” Cas’s eyes widened, “How about we both try to help each other out? I’ll keep trying if you do.” I held out my hand without thinking. A compromise between the two of us. I know we both met like five minutes ago, but I’m pretty sharp for people my age with little experience. But, honestly, maybe this wasn’t so bad. I think all that Cas wanted was the relief that he won’t hurt people. Or something like that. 

“You’d go through with all that? I’m not exactly mentally stable.” I could tell that he was worried, but I just nodded my head, a genuine smile on my face that I hoped he could see. 

He eyed my hand for a while, and I still hadn’t realized what was wrong until he lightly pinched my hand between the tip of his pointer and thumb, barely even lifting it up and down for my own sake. Oh he has no idea how scared I was right now, but he didn’t have to know that. Just a little more pressure and he could just yank my arm right off-I shook that thought away. Don’t think about that right now. It would be okay. Just as long as I get an idea of what to do when he does eventually lose control or something. I had zero idea. I think the thought that stuck in the back of my mind was making me more worried than anything really. I’m just a stress toy for him. But I’ll just have to get over my fear. There was no way I would let this stop me from graduating. Not in a million years.

——————

Sorry for a slightly boring chapter! I did a LOT of world building for this one, and had to map out almost every single interaction through the course of the entire story plot. There also wasn’t much g/t but again, it’s just an introduction chapter. (I’m doing what I love and no one can stop me hehehe-)

But I hope you enjoyed reading! I promise the second chapter will have a much, much better g/t interaction. (Oh trust me it will >:3) I hope you all have a great day/night!

[deripmaver]

analyzing kentaro miura’s words on casca’s recovery

Below I’ve attached three separate screenshots of translations of a 2019 interview done by Young Animal ZERO magazine with Kentaro Miura on the topic of Casca’s recovery and revival. These aren’t new of course, but I want to discuss my reaction to them, and also discuss how I think they fit in with the current direction the story has taken with Studio Gaga’s chapters. 

First up, a fan translation originally from skullknight.net, reposted to twitter:

Up next, a google translated version from kojion on twitter, who’s provided a few interviews that haven’t yet reached English speaking fans:

Finally, I’m not 100% sure what this is. It seems to follow from the above screenshots, but it’s not clear if this is just kojion’s interpretation of the interview response, or if this is specifically something Kentaro Miura said. I messaged him on twitter to ask, and I’ll update this post accordingly with his response!

This interview response was, no exaggeration, like a balm on my soul to read the first time I saw it. With how prevalent rape is in Berserk, and with how long it took for Casca to be revived, I admit I couldn’t help falling into this pit of frustration where I wondered if Miura even knew the extent of how awful what he put her through was. Her mental state, of course, did indicate he was aware of that - and then her revival happened, and the corridor of dreams, and I just remember being in actual tears because of how we went into Casca’s mind to show the trauma from her eyes. I can’t think of a more effective way to show something as serious as rape, genuinely. 

And then, of course, this interview response, and again I remember thinking: Wow. This author really gets it. It was the thing that really made me confident in his ability to tell the story of Casca’s recovery. 

First up, the very first part of the response: Casca’s awakening is not the end of her journey, it’s the beginning. This is absolutely, incredibly realistic. I think Miura likes to tease the audience in a sort of mean way lol, there’s the beautiful, dramatic panels where Casca awakens, and she’s put in that gorgeous fairy dress - almost like a wedding dress, you could say - and she’s sent off to have her romantic reunion with Guts... 

And lol. We all remember how that went. Miura is such a troll lmao (affectionate)(kind of).

But of course, just because she’s in control of her mind again doesn’t at ALL mean she’s processed her trauma. Guts has had years to process what happened, but she’s been completely stuck this whole time.

We know from her dreamscape that it was Griffith’s betrayal that really, truly broke her mind (I won’t include the panels here because I don’t want to CRY), and that sort of loss of trust is in no way mended by simply returning to herself. Again, then, two things that made me so astonishingly confident in Miura’s ability to tell Casca’s story from the interview: He's writing Casca as a human, who will react in a natural, human way to her trauma, and that she needs to face up to what Griffith did. This, to me, very clearly indicates that her upcoming arc is going to be focused on facing up to the trauma Griffith caused her, and this is especially hammered in by what’s happening to her currently in canon, being stuck in Falconia with Griffith and with her memories, again, magically suppressed so she can’t begin to process anything. I genuinely can’t imagine any other way for things to go for her.

One more note before I go on to my ~predictions~ based on the current chapters is that I want to highlight this panel here: 

If you follow me on twt you’ve seen me say this before but PTSD flashbacks have the person not just remembering the traumatic event, but feeling as though they’re experiencing the traumatic event all over again. Miura is aware that Casca simply regaining her memories wouldn’t be the end of her recovery but the beginning, knows that the real key to healing is processing the traumatic event, and knows that PTSD flashbacks make you feel as though you’re experiencing the trauma all over again. It’s far more sensitive than I’d expect most authors, let alone a cishet dude mangaka lol. 

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR CASCA?

I need to admit I’m making this post because earlier I got into a conversation on tumblr with someone who claimed that people read too much into Miura’s comments on Casca’s recovery, that they don’t indicate that she’ll successfully heal, that there’s no indication from the comments that he intended to write a full deep dive into Casca’s mental state and trauma, and that for all we know this would just be a side plot a la Farnese’s growth. 

My position is that I genuinely can’t think of anything else that Casca’s upcoming storyline could be about besides her struggling with her trauma (and of course trying to escape Falconia, but in my mind those go hand in hand). I also think that I simply have different ideas about how important Casca is narratively than this person, which is the root of our difference in opinion on Casca’s recovery. 

Right now, Casca has been kidnapped by Griffith and taken to Falconia, where she is being magically drugged to suppress her memories, and her healing. Her storyline necessitates that she get away from Griffith and out from the spell currently suppressing her personality, and getting out from under this spell will mean the return of the memories she was starting to process in Elfheim. 

While it’s terrifying that Casca is away from her support system (and has been kidnapped by her RAPIST jesus christ) I actually think being away from Guts is the necessary key to her processing Griffith’s rape on her own terms. Guts is a massive trigger for her PTSD currently, and there’s the duality of her desire to see him and the likely ensuing guilt and frustration and sadness that comes with being unable to. Without his presence around her, I actually think it’ll be easier for her because there won’t be an expectation of her being with him. 

There are people who we KNOW are in Falconia and will likely be Casca’s support system, we just currently have no idea how they’ll all meet up. I know Luca and the girls will be instrumental to Casca’s story because otherwise there would be no reason to bring them back and also for Casca to mention them explicitly in Elfheim.

The other point made by this person on tumblr is that Miura’s interview doesn’t indicate that Casca will recover. Perhaps, they say, her story will end with Casca unable to cope. I think this in people’s minds leads easily into the Apostle Casca theory, which I’ll be honest and repeat that I fucking hate so much LOL. I get it in some sense, but I really do hate it as a theory. As Miura says, though, he’s writing Casca as a real person, and there are absolutely very low points in trauma recovery, so I expect her to go through a lot of strife. 

It’s difficult in some ways to look at these responses because there’s the language barrier. “she should confront what Griffith or the monsters did” and “she will now have to overcome the trauma” both, to me, seem to positively indicate that overcome is the intended outcome, but of course I’m not sure. Now, if kojion’s second tweet is a translated quote from Miura himself and not just his analysis of it, that’s kind of a smoking gun that recovery is the intended outcome of Casca’s arc, but I’m not sure one way or another. 

This is purely based on my emotional response, but I think a story where a woman is betrayed and raped by one of her closest companions, who loses her mind for years because she’s unable to cope with the trauma of the betrayal, who finally has her memories returned to her and now needs to go on the incredibly difficult and painful journey of processing this betrayal - to have her story end tragically with the result that she’s never able to recover would...

Hm. Let’s say that it would need to be handled with extreme care. It might be the thing that gets Berserk to warrant its grimdark reputation.

As a conclusion, I think this one quote has a ton of potential for analysis inherent to it, particularly for fans of Casca, who are having a bit of a renaissance on twitter right now HAHA and I’m trying to gather them on tumblr too. If you combine it with various tidbits of Miura’s chapters from before his death, as well as the continuation by Studio Gaga, it helps create in my mind a decent picture of the trajectory of Casca’s arc, though the specifics are still up in the air. 

Either way, I want to say to any Casca stans reading this that I really do think that Casca’s story is important, and will be shown as important going forward. I always hesitate to trust cishet authors for obvious reasons lol, but at least I can say that if she’s shown to NOT be important, that will entirely be on him and his sexism, and I think it will inherently make the story weaker. I don’t think that will be the case, though. 

WE’VE WAITED THIS FUCKING LONG-

[kingkatsuki]

https://x.com/monika_icecream/status/1816124917727014970?s=46&t=vHgEzwg5oS7rUYJBymnxDA

Ok but ever since we found out about all of Enjin’s tattoos I’ve been absolutely FERALLLLLLLL. Imagine reader seeing them for the first time and not know he had the tummy tattoo😫😫💖💖💖

Link.

OMG I LITERALLY JUST RETWEETED THIS ON TWT! My eyes would bulge out of my skull when I first see them, honestly.

Like just imagine reader gossiping with Semiu and asking whether she’s ever actually seen what’s going on under Enjin’s shirt, and she just gives you the most pointed look like “that is not my type.”

So you’re asking the other cleaners, because someone must have seen him changing a shirt after a run in with a particularly nasty trash beast, or when they were stuck somewhere and they had to shower together? But it seems like no one has seen this man naked.

And Griss finds it hilarious that you’re so determined to find out, so curious— “Why don’t you just ask him?” He grins into his beer, “I’m sure he’d be more than willing to show you.”

But you can’t just ask him to take his top off— no matter how much the thought alone has butterflies swirling in your tummy and the sight would probably fuel your masturbation material for the rest of your existence.

It’s months later, and you find yourself tipsy in an alleyway pinned to a wall in front of an equally pissed Enjin. His hands pawing at your sides as you tug his shirt up over his chest and you see it— the three swirls over his belly button as you tug the material higher and follow the intricate designs over his pectorals. And he’s laughing at your actions, asking whether you want him to strip in the alley or what.

So you tell him that you’ve wondered what his tattoos looked like for months, you’ve been waiting for this day as long as you could remember and it’s even better than you imagined.

And he throws his head back as he breaks into raucous laughter, a cigarette barely holding on between his teeth before he looks down at you with his lip curled into a smug smile, “If you wanted me to strip for you, you could’ve asked me months ago.”

[emeraldbabygirl]

:( literally like every group I’ve really like and fell in love with and members I’m like are my man just are gone. They disband and I find out my favs are in relationships or married with kids or they just have been inactive for so long I can’t find out where they are. Like I was looking at a lot of my old posts of groups I loved like for examples great guys, all the members left the company except for donghwi, baekgyeul and horyeong. With vav they disbanded right and i guess they’re off doing whatever now. T.a.n frickin disbanded, with n.cus they lost member and hojun left to be a backup dancer for enhypen along with kain who was in argon but they disbanded and I didn’t even hear about it. Now kain is still in the military. Soon got a girlfriend and got her pregnant, n.tic disbanded and that was really disappointing considering dowon just joined. Now I think sangwook and seunghoo have girlfriends. With 1team and enoi they disbanded but y’all know omega x was formed but now members are in the military and I think they recently released a dance practice. E’last has choi in and seungyeop in the military and i fear they won’t come back. I fear e’last will disband next and I’m sorry if i jinx it. iz disbanded and so did d.coy shortly after Kenny left (his name is actually sungwon) idk what happened to road boys but sun left. Then I loved megamax so much but jaehan my love left and then rohan, kan was gone for awhile but when he came back they added a new member and they are inactive and prolly just disbanded so that sucks. Who else…I still have my vanner but i fear they will be stuck again now that ahxian and hyesung are in the military :( I haven’t heard from 2z in a while but I haven’t checked just like vav cause I’m afraid THEN UNVS PISSED ME OFF THEY CAMEBACK AND DISAPPEARED AND I FIND OUT THEY ALL ENLIST AND NEVER KNEW WHEN THEY ENTERED OR GOT OUT AND THEN I FIND OUT A FEW MONTHS AGO ON TWT THAT JOOHYEON GOT MARRIED. So they dropped sandcastle and fucked off, xenex is still going I think but my man yuhyeong left and idk what he does now so I stopped paying attention to them but I think they had a line up change. G-most disbanded idk what jin is doing he was my fav. Who else is there..d crunch disbanded, imfact, halo disbanded and heecheon, ooon and yoondong are in orbit..imfact disbanded and idk if taeho is still at the company as a soloist or what I bet they all have gfs or bfs um noir never officially disbanded but seunghoon recently released something and now he’s in the military oh I miss him a lot and of course yunsung is rotting in prison. TARGET IS GONE AND I THINK WOOJIN AND ROI AND ZETH ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS Y’ALL JEALOUSLY IS A DISEASE AND I HAVE IT

oh and seungyong from n.cus is now in like a movie but they changed their group name to apex and domo left and they added two members but I never seen any of their mvs and I think they only promote in japan. Ummm bxk..so a few members of trcng debuted OH THEIR GROUP NAME IS BXB but idk what’s going on with them..I wanted to get into bae173 but idk what happened to them. And them avin from enoi redebuted in blank2y with taewoo from I think it was 1the9 but um and they were going to have a u.s tour back in 2023 but fucking what’s his face ruined the group and they disbanded but 5 members redebuted as d.vol I think but I’ve seen one video from them and I don’t think they are still around. I was going to look into bandage but I think they disbanded. About U I have no idea I think they added a member after victor got kicked out. Then there’s all the girl groups I really like OH MLD FUCKED OVER MOMOLAND AND T1419 as if they thought changing their name to tfn was going to promote them like they both deserved better. Tbh survival shows do not help the group I swear it only hurts them. The only group I know that benifited from a survival/competition show was vanner and I feel they are back in a rut again. Also Jongup and Heedo got more recognition but um that member of black6ix got shot down for no reason I felt so bad for him. After black6ix disbanded I heard ziki and taeyoung were supposed to debut again but idk if they ever did, with minjae from spectrum too and that one spectrum member is in jail I think, jaehan moved to omega x and rayoon I think or was his name euijin?? He debuted in um..aimers with another spectrum member villain.

AND THEN BZ BOYS AFTER ADDING HAMIN I LOVED BZ BOYS AND THEN TAEWOONG WAS SUPPOSED TO ENLIST AND THEN DOUBLE D AND HAMIN LEFT. I have them all on insta, my Taewoong is busy taking diving classes and he prolly has a gf and idk what the other members are doing but outlaw was so good I wish all 5 members could’ve continued I found them through tiktok actually. Who else..so many girl groups like saturday went through so much and now it’s just minseo, ayeon and yuki but they aren’t releasing music I don’t think just doing shows in japan for old men it’s creepy. We lost a member of elris to some older hot ceo and that’s after they added two member, went on hiatus for idk how long and then rebranded as alice just to come out with one mv and disband. Ad.some?? I can’t remember the spelling they had one song and then two members left and I don’t see their tiktok account anymore. Triger just had the mv for hurricane come out and shawnee left due to health reasons I hope he’s ok but they aren’t promoted a lot but I have them. Roa dances a lot to other groups, he’s a great dancer and the members are so handsome and all models like 2z and great guys. NATURE DISBANDED AFTER THEY LOST SUNSHINE AND THEM LIMBO WAS A BANGER AND SOHEE LEFT AND SHE’S A DUO NOW. Hey girls lost members, had a lineup change then made a duo called 1chu and they make music now I’m assuming everyone else left. Tweety Idk what happened to them, bad boy was so fucking good. I still have rolling quartz but I don’t understand how their company really works but I love them and hope they get Mir and more popular esp since they are a girl band. Um…there’s other newer groups that I listen to like I like some songs by p1harmony and 82major and umm like the popular groups but I don’t have any groups that I really love a lot like the above ones anymore. Like my favs are just gone. AND IM STILL JEALOUS OF FUCKING J.HEART’S WIFE.

I just have my jpop groups I listen to now and the few thai groups I like. I still have kpop songs I like and stuff but I’m not like head over heels for all these groups anymore. I wish they were all still around personally great guys would be so popular if more people knew about them like I don’t understand how my favs never got the recognition like I hear fans complain that all these groups can’t sing or dance or the music is boring and my favs can sing and dance and rap and they’re really hot and talented and the music just hits different and sounds different and they do fresh concepts but no one knows about them.

Idk what happened to ghost 9 I only like like two songs by them I’m still trying to pay attention to them cause I really like shin and prince but I can’t listen to any of they title tracks without having a panic attack like my fight or flight activates. I also know teen teen added new members and they became ghost9 and I think Jinwoo?? One of the teen teen members left I thought. Now I hear prince is on tiktok breaking the rules trying to get popular and I just hope he doesn’t get in trouble but he just doesn’t care lol. And then the whole mont mess like they let beomhan in and then dropped the multiple units idea and now beomhan idk where he is but I hope he’s okay people really hate his song and I feel bad for him. Jay chang debuted in onepact and tag joined them after leaving ciipher? but idk I wasn’t into ciipher cause I knew they’d suffer like mblaq and madtown and it seems like I was right. Of course to1 went through so much but the former members seem to be doing ok becoming solo artists like jaeyun or jerome joined onepact and kyungho and woongi are in another survival show. Idk what the others are doing, no one cares about chanhyuk but me :( I love him I think he’s making solo music. They deserved better but I feel like everyone wants to blame chanhyuk for their disbanded.

I kinda like kep1er cause yujin was in clc and it’s nice to see her again and I like bai yeehee (idk how to spell her name I’m not trying to be rude I just pronounce her name like that) I’ve only listened to like a few songs by xdinary heroes and txt but I want to listen to more. It’s just I don’t want to fall for another group and be disappointed when they disband. And I used to really like ateez but I’m not a huge fan of them anymore. I do not like bts or stray kids anymore. I like niziu but they just do japan stuff right. Idk I just don’t feel it for kpop as much as jpop rn I guess. I really like my jpop groups and think more people should listen to them but at the same time I don’t want the music and vibes to change if people try to push the whole kpop toxic fan culture shit on them. But I really like what ini and jo1 are doing. I love psychic fever and am glad there are getting love and attention and I’m so happy that san and hikaru got to meet and I’m loving the kpop x jpop collabs I’m seeing. ALSO I HAVE TRIED TO GET INTO EPEX SINCE THEY DEBUTED AND I FINALLY LOVED THEIR COMEBACK FOR BREATHE IN LOVE AND THE OTHER MV THAT CAME OUT BUT A MEMBER LEFT DIDNT HE. And now they released the universe mv. CIGNATURE I FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM FREE THEM THOSE POOR GIRLS. Jinyoung left cix :( I LIKE A.C.E AND I AM EXCITED FOR THEIR COMEBACK. I am proud of them they’ve come a long way it’s so cool to see their progress. I was afraid they would disband during their military services. I like mcnd but flopmedia hates their groups i.e teen top, 100% and up10tion and now they have a girl group. I kinda like baby monster and I like treasure. I really loved their show I just haven’t gotten back to watching it, same with the atlas shows. I love Pixxie and 4eve and 4mix and I wanna look into bus more.

Sorry I’m ranting and complaining I just feel like all the kpop groups I loved are gone and I just have no fav favs anymore. I’m just hanging out with jpop and tpop groups now. I kinda want to look into boys next door?? I like dangerous and i think leehan is the cutest lil guy and i kinda like a few songs by enhypen but if anyone has any group or recommendations for kpop or jpop or tpop idk um feel free to send in an ask or drop a comment or message me. i am really slow checking stuff out tho, it took forever to listen to every nct title track lol and I've heard two day6 and two xdinary hero songs. That's a lie, the last xh song I heard was haircut :)

So long as rant/story short I have…e'last and omega x and a.c.e and..vanner left. :) my favs I guess, plus the jpop and tpop groups I like. OH AND ONLYONEOF BUT IDK WHATS GOING ON WITH THEM. if there's any old people that have been with me I really started loving them during their libido era that was such an experience for me. but junji cut his hair and honestly i am sad over if like i know it's just hair but idk something about him was so attractive and eye catching with the long hair. OH AND I LOVE CNBLUE AND N.FLYING AND CNBLUE JUST HAD A COMEBACK I BELIEVE BUT IDK WHEN WE'LL GET OT5 N.FLYING AGAIN. I think I am done rambling. if you made it to the end thanks :) for listening to my shit. Please I recommend checking out all these groups tho like just cause they disbanded doesnt mean you have to stop listening to their music.

I REMEMBER STREAMING FICTION BY N.TIC, FALLING IN LOVE?? BY BERRY GOOD AND DOOM DOOM BY NOIR AND XENO-T'S ONLY SONG FOR DAYS LIKE EVERYDAY CAUSE I WANTED TO GET THE VIEWS UP AND I SWEAR TO YOU I WATCHED THE POISON MV BY VAV 50 TIMES. til I couldn't listen to the song anymore because I wanted them to win on a music show so badly and I was so sad, we were in second place fr but txt won I was so upset. ALSO FROMIS_9 I HAVE NOT LIKED A SINGLE SONG BY THEM SINCE THEM MOVED TO PLEDIS/HYBE. Ok I think I am done now my knuckles and fingers are cramping. i just look at my older posts and get sad when my favs are gone :( I miss them all. They made such great music, will forever be archived in me heart and their songs will always be platnium/number 1 in my bedroom :)

I ALSO LIKE XODIAC AND XG :) 👍

[whakkicat]

i am leaving

i made a post on my twt about this, but i should make it here as well.

this is my last text post before i archive this account and start elsewhere. video about what’s been happening at some point.

this post will be a personal note to friends, mutuals, communities, etc, and what will happen from here.

brief warning for mentions of abuse

1. i want to start with a word towards the rain world community. first off, i want to thank rain world for giving me a home. for starting me off as an artist. i had never actively participated in a fandom before this, and it was a wonderful experience.

the game brought me and so many of my friends together, i met a lot of amazing artists, some of which i’m still shocked they’re my mutuals, and rain world itself changed my life for the better, i believe. it gave me hope and something to live for when nothing else did.

i’ve always been quite afraid of voicing myself, as i had never participated actively in a fandom before, therefore had never gotten used to talking in one. but to those who’ve stuck around, who have enjoyed my content, thank you.

2. to the people who have been there for me during the worst, who have let me know i am not alone in my suffering, it means so much to me. i really hope that i can still keep contact with many of the people i have met on here.

there have been so many kind people on this platform and it’s been a joy talking to you all. if this is goodbye, to some, i wish you all the best. it’s only what you deserve.

3. i will be reaching out to the main people who i owe art to, regardless of cmms or not. it is unprofessional of me not to keep track of myself and keep everyone waiting. my ADHD has not made it very easy for me. i apologize.

4. this point will mention abuse, so cw dealing and getting out of abuse this year was extremely hard for me, and is still taking its toll on me. it’s part of the reason i can’t stay, because i feel they still have power over me, even if they’re not actively in my life anymore.

as i move on, i don’t want to completely abandon my past, and everything that came out of that abuse in the first place. i am not abandoning myself, or forgetting what i went through. i want to grieve my younger, naive self as i go forward as an artist.

this doesn’t mean i’ve let them win and break me down. i won’t give up on myself. i need to be kinder to myself and heal, so being away from this will help. this also goes out to anyone else trapped in their friendships, relationships. you will be okay. talk to

please do not silence yourself for the sake of other people. your own feelings are just as valid and important as anyone else’s. don’t let people make you feel bad for feeling your own feelings.

5. to mutuals who’d like to stay in contact, i have a priv account on twitter i will mainly be using from now on. it won’t be used as much as it used to, considering this is a hiatus, but it will be where i will reside. you’re free to ask me in dms.

6. i’ve already begun starting over, i won’t be gone completely. if you happen to recognize me in the near future, please do not pester me about it. simply accept that i have restarted, as a brand, as an artist, and i’d like to start over from square one.

7. this account will also be public for the remainder of its existence, however i may clean it up for archival purposes. i don’t want to simply vanish, i am proud of some of the work i have published, and i don’t want it to be forgotten.

it’s a bit odd, considering most of my art is composed of doodles, non-serious jokes, and mostly fanart. hopefully i can make self indulgent art in the future. i’ve always wanted people to know my characters, but was always too afraid to actually talk to people.

closing point i’m sorry if my absence upsets anyone, if you are disappointed in me. i can’t stress enough that this year has been hard enough on me, and being here is hard enough. i want a fresh start. i want to be okay.

i love my fellow artists, my friends, everyone. there’s so many talented people i’ve met and i don’t ever want to forget them. my last post will be my video talking about my experiences this year, previous years, because i feel it’s important for me to come out about it.

this is a goodbye. i will miss many of you. here’s to hoping the rest of the year will be good for everyone! until our paths meet again. good luck out there

[ask-post-ii17au-box]

Take all the time you need :) I'm glad you're finding yourself

(Also my WiFi has been out for a day now TwT gotta use mobile data to keep up with my fav blog :P)

🎄

……thanks.

……after thinking about it for a while I think I’ve like decided that I want the draft I showed you all to be my future body………it just feels ………..right.

Also I know the pain, I was like stuck on mobile data for the entire time I was in the mansion :p.

……..basically all it could like reliably run was YouTube and Google, anything else and it took a billion years to load.

[astar-and-astorm]

Hey I love your stuff! I was wondering what’s your opinion on Micah :3 and Colm??

Micah is a WONDERFULLY written antagonist and I love to hate him. (As much as I hate to admitting it sometimes) He’s a genuinely fun character to play around with when talking about things like “what-ifs” and aus.

Unfortunately— I can’t really say much about Colm? I’ve been in the fandom for a while now and I’ve been too much of a piss baby to finish the game, so I’m stuck with what I know now. Lemme finish the game and get back to you on this one TwT

[chibishortdeath]

Started playing Fear and Hunger recently and this guy is pretty silly. I like that he likes bugs, that’s a green flag in my book, bugs are great.

Nothing in this post in particular is mature, but the game itself is, it’s a pretty dark horror game, so I’ll be putting some content warnings in the tags so any talk about the game on my account can be filtered out easier!

Some thoughts about the game under a cut :3

I haven’t played as Enki tho, I picked Cahara because he’s easier and it’s my first playthrough, and he’s pretty cool too. I really love the character and monster designs in this game. The art is super cool :3. I’ve had the worst luck this run tho oh my god; I started the game took like two steps and immediately got blindsighted by three dogs. All the enemies in the first left entrance area spawned in the first room. Two elite guards spawned in the room past the prisons instead of the usual one. Moonless would not spawn for like a solid few reloads and then ended up on the bottom of the map instead of the top where they usually are. I talked to Nosramus (love them, they’re great, they were off screen the whole conversation tho whoops) and immediately afterwards got the crow mauler text and had to leave the room. Got D’arce and promptly ran into a yellow mage and lost my arm! It’s been wild and I’m even just playing on easy mode 💀💀💀!!! My computer also kinda sucks and lags sometimes, but yeah! The game is fun!!!!! I have no idea how far I am in it, but I’m almost to where Le’garde is captured. My whole strategy has been fuck around and find out and it’s working XD!!! I kinda expected it to be scarier, but that might be because I’m a little used to horror as a genre in general, but it’s a nice balance of spooky atmosphere and usual RPG action stuff in a way that comes off sincere and not like edgy for the sake of being edgy if that makes sense. It’s cool :3

Anyway there’s a lot of games I’ve started recently and haven’t finished so I guess I’ll be playing those for a while. I still need to beat CV64, I’m just currently stuck on the uh gear platforming section with the bomb. If you know, you know 💀💀💀. It’s hard. I also have to beat Curse of Darkness, but I’m really close to the end in that one I’m just getting all the random side rooms and stuff. Raising more innocent devils besides my main team just to be able to open a door is a little tedious tbh, but eh it’s an excuse to play the game for longer so I’ll take it. But yeah, hopefully life actually lets me beat all these games so I can talk about them more (TwT ;).

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/759514554472562688/to-be-frank-this-whole-show-just-kinda-showed-to

honestly I never thought jkk were real but this show really proved to me all the way through that they are just besties, for taekook I've been on the fence but idk, it's not just this show specifically but a lot of other things too that just make me lean more towards best friends but again I could be wrong, I don't think this is a sort of thing we'll ever know for sure unless they decide to reveal sth later on or we see them with other people

although even seeing them with other people doesn't imo negate them ever having been together, I enjoy the mystery tho, it's also just more fun being casual about shipping cus the shipping fan wars and the who's right who's wrong thing gets really nasty (yes I'm on twt, I know it's bonkers over there) and I don't like saying anything with certainty cus at the end of the day we don't personally know them

anyway, sorry for this word salad and thank you for the respectful discussion, hope you have a nice day!

Hi anon!

Sorry for responding a bit late, I’ve had a busy couple of days and your ask slipped through for a bit.

I think shipping is meant to be done the way you do it 😂. I’m pretty stuck at the serious side I think 🙈.

[cryoculus]

— guard dog 13 ⟢

pairing: thoma x assassin!reader

summary: paying the blood price for your sins is something you once thought of as futile. but as long as you're with the kamisato clan, you're certain that you'll be able to afford the world's forgiveness someday.

word count: 9.8k words

notable characters: thoma, kamisato ayaka, kamisato ayato, sayu, kujou sara

tags: found family, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut

warnings: graphic sexual content (minors dni), semi-public sex

notes: this is the end of it! thank you so much for following this series so patiently! i hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as i enjoyed writing it ^^

header art cr: cuppydraws on twt

masterlist

Fortunately, no one had been suffering severe conditions when you and Thoma finally arrived back home. The worst symptom that manifested across the people in the estate was Ayato’s prior show of coughing up blood in front of you the other day. Now, everyone was relatively fine. Nervous for the fate of the Yashiro Commission, but otherwise fine.

You were quick to round up Hina’s help to administer the available doses of the cure to those that needed it first—Ayaka and Ayato, the elderly retainers, and those with existing medical conditions. The other attendants volunteered to brew the next batch of Sango broth following Doctor Naoko’s instructions in his journal and Thoma gladly busied himself by helping out as well—speeding up the boiling process with his Vision and all.

Contrary to your prior assumptions, your abysmal supply of pearls was surprisingly enough to cover all the retainers and attendants in the estate, along with your esteemed visitors. 

Given that he was unconscious for the majority of the day, you had to administer Kujou Masahito’s dose intravenously. It’s a good thing Hina had some sterile syringes stashed away in the estate’s first aid kit. When he finally came to, Sara, who was still stuck here as well, gave him a thorough questioning. 

However, instead of the merciless man who’d issued your orders to kill Ayaka, you were met with a soldier blinking up at his current audience in confusion.

Turns out, the man was merely another pawn in this convoluted war of ideals. Their father, Kujou Takayuki was the sole mastermind behind the Tatarigami experiments. Masahito explained, in great detail, that their father had been playing his cards quite suspiciously over the past few months. 

“I suspected he was onto something, but he wouldn’t tell me what,” he sighed. “I didn’t know why he wanted us to build a base on Yashiori Island, and I was in no place to refuse. The next thing I knew, I felt like I was in a dream all this time. I was awake, but my decisions weren’t my own. I suppose it’s the same for all the men he’d forced me to bring.”

Ayato gaped at him. “So you’re telling me that the guys who attacked us the other day walked from Yashiori to here?”

“I’m sorry, Lord Ayato. My memory is still quite fuzzy, but that might be the case.”

Huh. That explained why your back-up from burning the tengu feather took so long. Once that was made clear, you decided to come clean to Kujou Sara about the contingency plan Masahito presented to you when he was being mind-controlled.

“No wonder I felt a bit off-kilter that day,” she sighed, massaging her temples. “It’s alright. Once we’re all cleared of the infection, Lord Ayato and I will raise this issue directly to the Raiden Shogun herself. Our father’s actions are putting the people in peril.”

“...Did you just say you’re going to work with us on this?” the Yashiro Commissioner asked incredulously. 

“I’m not as disagreeable as you think I am,” Sara huffed. “I’ve had my own...reservations about our father’s methods when it comes to war tactics. But this is something that would be a crime to overlook. It’s our word against his.”

To her brother’s side, Ayaka spoke out. “Is it safe to assume that Kujou Takayuki has been colluding with the Kanjou Commission? I think part of the reason they refuse to have the Vision Hunt repealed is because they’re profiting off this war more than we thought…”

Masahito nodded somberly. “It’s true that father has been quite…taken with the wealth he’s made from the war effort. That’s why no matter how many times the Yashiro Commission attempts to raise the concern to Her Excellency, they’re quick to shoot down your attempts despite being the commission closest to the Raiden Shogun.”

“So they’ve been taking advantage of it this whole time…” Sara muttered.

…God. This was way too much information for you to take. Why were you even part of this audience in the first place? You were just one of the many casualties that got caught up in a noble’s greedy endeavors. 

Thankfully, it was sorted out faster than you’d anticipated. 

You were back to checking up on every member of the house with Hina in no time. Despite having little medical experience of your own, everyone was surprisingly cooperative when you checked their vitals and asked how each one was faring. But you didn’t have the time to appreciate the fact that everything had seemingly returned to normal with how your fellow retainers treated you because of the amount of patients you had to monitor. 

In the process, you got to speak to the retainers more than usual. Especially Hina, since the estate’s resident healer was pretty much your partner-in-crime for this entire operation. She was kind and patient enough to manage everyone’s medical reports alongside you. And she even filled you in on some random bits of trivia for every person you treated.

“Hirano used to be a player from an underground fighting ring,” Hina whispered. “He doesn’t know who his parents are, and the Commissioner suspected he was a victim of child trafficking.”

“That’s awful,” you told her, face scrunching up. “...You told me back then not everyone is as noble as they seemed.”

She nodded. “Yup. Ayame was a notorious pickpocket at Ritou Harbor. Old man Yuuji used to be a slave trader. There’s lots more that everyone in here got in trouble for in their dark days, but Lady Ayaka and the Commissioner gave them a second chance at life. Now here we are.”

You nodded solemnly, a smile finding its way to your lips. “What about you? What did you do for a living before coming here?”

Hina hesitated for a moment but eventually laughed. “I used to manufacture dangerous drugs and poisons for the underground. You know that powdered crystal marrow you used on Ayame? My old master was the one who came up with the formula for it.”

“What?! Huh, small world.”

“By the way, the Commissioner told me that a doctor that’s familiar with the effects of the Tatarigami will arrive in a day or two,” Hina told you once the two of you finally caught a break by the gardens. “He’ll be a great help, I’m sure. And we’ll get to treat the soldiers that have been infected, too.”

You nodded in understanding as you leaned against the fences overlooking the ocean, sighing. “Do you have any news about those guys? Last I heard, Lord Ayato had them shipped off to some containment facility underneath Inazuma City.”

She hummed. “While you and Master Thoma were away, the Commissioner has been sending messenger crows all over the country almost tirelessly. He’s been laying the groundwork all this time. If Lady Ayaka hadn’t scolded him for overworking himself despite the fact that he’s more susceptible to the curse than most, he might still be at it until now.”

“That’s Lord Ayato for you…”

The next day, when the doctor that Ayato had rang up had arrived, you were the first to brief him about the situation—the state of the estate’s denizens, the timeframe of the curse’s onset, and the experimental cure you’ve administered. 

“I’m no professional, so I’m not sure if it’s safe for them to go out like usual even if they seem relatively okay now.” You sighed, scratching the back of your head awkwardly. “That’s why I was wondering if you knew any better way to—”

“Tell me…do you know someone called Suzuki Naoko?” he interrupted, looking up from the journal containing Doctor Naoko’s research notes. 

You blinked in surprise. “Y-Yes. That notebook belongs to him. The cure we made was also based on his findings when he stayed in Yashiori Island.”

He laughed softly, nodding in earnest. “I see. He and I used to be colleagues at the Sumeru Academia. We both chose the so-called Tatarigami curse as our respective thesis topics, but we’ve had conflicting ideas as to how it can be cured. I think it’s obvious which one of us turned out to be right after all.”

Your jaw nearly dropped. You knew Doctor Naoko was a bit too intelligent for your everyday medical professional, but to think he went to Sumeru Academia, of all places? 

The doctor that Ayato had invited eventually introduced himself as Haruno Shinya, and once Doctor Shinya was done with his own routine check-up of everyone in the estate, he gave you the green light to produce more of that Sango broth you cooked up with Doctor Naoko’s recipe.

“It’s a bit odd, though,” he said. “One of the reasons I was against using Sango pearls as a Tatarigami combatant is because of how long it takes for it to work. The pearl itself has special properties, yes. But you have to wield a certain flame to truly access its full potency. Boiling it over regular flames isn't enough.”

The gears slowly clicked into place as you processed his words. 

It took months for you to get over the illness because Doctor Naoko had only experimented with ordinary fire when he boiled the pearls. But now, with the use of Thoma’s fervent Pyro Vision, the effect was near instantaneous. 

“To think Naoko died trying to save people with his hypothetical cure. What a hero,” Doctor Shinya chuckled, adding a couple of annotations of his own to Doctor Naoko’s notes. “I’ve been observing Tatarigami patients for a chunk of my career, and I’m positive that everyone in this estate is cured. But you mentioned another set of patients in the capital…?”

“Yes. The Commissioner gave strict orders to his men to keep the soldiers isolated from everyone else. But we haven’t been able to procure more Sango pearls to manufacture enough doses to cover them…” 

He nodded as he shut Doctor Naoko’s journal, handing it back to you as he patted your shoulder. “You’ve done plenty already, kid. You’re the one who’s been spearheading this whole operation, aren’t you?”

“I… Yeah. I guess you can say that.”

“I expect no less from Naoko’s apprentice,” Doctor Shinya praised. “Leave the patients at the capital to me. I’m actually a native of Watatsumi myself, so I’ll be able to get my hands on all the pearls you’re going to need. However, I have one last question.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“Did you do anything special with the experimental procedure?” he asked, one brow raised. “Sango broth isn’t supposed to be this potent, but here we are, with dozens of recovered patients in no less than a few days.”

While Doctor Shinya elaborated on his inquiry, your eyes managed to catch Thoma across the courtyard, speaking animatedly to one of the elderly retainers. Your heart warmed. It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to him. Your hands have been tied with fussing over the patients that you hadn’t exactly found the time to approach him again. Then, your gaze slowly roved over to the red orb gleaming at his side.

“Yeah,” you replied—a knowing smile spreading on your face. “All you need is a bunch of Sango pearls and…someone with a Pyro Vision.” 

The following days in the estate have mellowed down as everyone quickly recovered. Migraines were gone, spontaneous bleeding episodes resolved, and you’re elated to find out that only a few retainers had suffered the onset of nightmares. They've begun sleeping more peacefully these days, too.

However, the situation of the power balance in the Tri-Commission only got more and more hectic thereafter. 

While you were busy taking care of the patients with Hina, Ayaka and Ayato, together with the Kujou siblings, testified against the Kanjou and Tenryou Commissions’ blatant mismanagement of the war. They were going to try and repeal the Vision Hunt Decree with Kujou Sara’s support as agreed upon as well. Because of this, neither of the two Kamisato heads had been home for nearly two weeks, and the only way you could keep tabs on what was happening was through Thoma himself.

The chief retainer was granted the privilege to attend briefings with the Raiden Shogun but wasn’t required to remain at the Tenshukaku for longer than necessary. It was for that reason that everyday, Thoma went back to the estate to report the situation to everyone before returning to the capital before morning.

You didn’t even have the time for a quick chat with him either. Whenever Thoma was in the estate, he’d update all of you about the state of affairs in the pavilion before promptly passing out in his bedroom. Not a single soul dared to disturb him from those few hours of rest.

It was really kind of him to go through all the trouble, you thought. Everyone in the Yashiro Commission didn’t seem to make too much of a fuss about the whole fiasco. But you guessed it was because of Thoma’s constant reassurance that both retainers and attendants managed to fall back into their old routines without hesitation. 

Today was the last day of routine check-ups that Doctor Shinya had advised you to conduct, and you’re glad to know that everyone was pretty much in the clear now. But as the people around you continued going about with life as usual, you found yourself gaining more free time than you knew what to do with.

Technically, you’re no longer a retainer of the Kamisato house, and neither Ayaka nor the Commissioner officially invited you back into their ranks. But with how much they’ve got on their plates, it was normal for you to be a sitting duck now that everyone in the estate was cured. 

Being completely aware of that did nothing to quell the agitation, though.

You couldn’t bring yourself to seek some semblance of comfort from Thoma either. You knew he was just as busy as the Kamisato siblings. But another reason why you’re a bit hesitant to approach him alone was because…you’re unsure of what you actually were to the guy.

After that eventful trip to Yashiori Island, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think about the way he’d kissed you that day. Of course, you’d snap out of it once you caught yourself daydreaming, but…

What else were you supposed to think about?

Despite having complete freedom to do whatever you wanted, you weren’t the type to go around kissing other people for the hell of it. You could barely stand the idea of receiving affection until recently. So when the man who claimed the rights to your first kiss suddenly became too busy to sit down with you and talk about it properly, you supposed you’re entitled to some degree of senseless overthinking.

One day, Hina came up to you at lunch. 

“Doctor Shinya reached out to Madarame this morning,” she told you. “He said he wants you to meet him at the capital.”

For some odd reason, the news filled you with an inexplicable sense of relief. Given that this was the last day your semi-nonexistent medical expertise was needed, you feared that you'd be the only one not doing anything around the estate. And since your status as a retainer was still in question, Madarame decided not to issue any housework for you to do. 

“You’ve done plenty for us, Miss Kira. You deserve to rest, too,” he said. You wanted to tell him that keeping your hands busy also kept thoughts of Thoma far away, but you didn’t exactly know how to break it to him at the time.

Now though, you’ve found a much-needed distraction.

“Miss Kira.”

You’re in the middle of a conversation with Hirano, who offered you a ride to the capital on his horse, when Ayame approached you in the courtyard. She met your gaze with a hint of hesitation, like she was embarrassed. But you didn’t let yourself scrutinize her more than you should. 

“Miss Ayame,” you greeted in return. “Is anything the matter?”

Ayame opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and sighed. “I… Can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Sure,” you agreed with a smile, turning to Hirano. “I’ll meet you outside after. Thanks again.”

The guard nodded earnestly. “Anytime! This is the least I can do for you, after all.”

Huh? The least he could do…? But weren’t you the one who’s indebted to them for trying to kill one of their leaders? Alas, you couldn’t spare it another thought when you followed Ayame to a less crowded corner in the gardens. She was awfully quick to get to the point.

“I was wrong about you.”

You watched in silence as Ayame traced idle shapes in the sand with the rake in her grasp. “What do you mean?”

“I thought you were going to take advantage of milady’s trust,” she murmured. “For a while, I even blamed you for the Tenryou Commission’s attack on the estate, too.”

A soft breeze wafted through the courtyard, making you sigh. “You’re completely right about that. It was because of me that the mansion got sacked by those soldiers.”

“But you didn’t leave us for dead,” Ayame argued, turning to face you with an insistent look. “You even went to that…that cursed island just to give us a cure you made yourself. Us, the same people who tried to shun you out of the estate.”

You waved a hand dismissively. “I’m only trying to undo the damage I’ve done. That doesn’t make me any less of the cold-blooded killer you know I am.”

“Real cold-blooded killers won’t try to ‘undo the damage they’ve done’, though.”

Her response was almost petrifying in how sincere it came forth. You stared at Ayame with equal parts confusion and disbelief as you knit your brows together. 

“Miss Ayame… What are you trying to say?”

She huffed. “Well, it’s obvious that Lady Ayaka’s kindness has gotten through so there’s no point in antagonizing you. That’s why, I… I wanted to apologize. For the way I acted around you these past few weeks.”

One second passed, then two, before you ended up burying your face in your hands.

“Miss Kira?” Ayame asked, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

Archons. She was so sincere with her apology, and you had the gall to overlook the one thing that made her so hostile with you in the first place.

Slowly, your hands dropped to your sides as you shot her a somber look.

“I still haven’t apologized for drugging you that night.”

Ayame’s lips parted with confusion before she slipped back that mask of hostility that’s grown so familiar to you now. “It took you this long to realize that?! Gods, I knew I shouldn’t have apologized first!”

“Miss Kira!” You suddenly heard Hirano shout from the entrance. “Your ride’s ready! Let me know when we’re leaving!”

Not wanting to receive the brunt of Ayame’s wrath, you ended your exchange with a quick bow. “Apology accepted, Miss Ayame! But I have another pressing matter to attend to, so let’s save the teary make-up embrace for later, yeah?” 

“You sneaky little—!”

Without waiting for her to finish, you bolted towards the doorway.

“What?” You scowled. “You sent them all home?”

Doctor Shinya chuckled from where he’s seated beside you at Shimura’s—one of Inazuma City’s up-and-coming outdoor restaurants. When you and Hirano arrived at the entrance to the capital, the doctor was already there, waiting for you. Doctor Shinya even offered to treat you to a late lunch despite the fact that you’ve already eaten. 

And now he was telling you about how he’d discharged the Tenryou soldiers to their respective homes today.

“It was just as you’ve said, performing the procedure with the aid of a Pyro Vision increased the broth’s potency tenfold!” Doctor Shinya gushed with a mouthful of tempura. “It was a good thing Mister Naganohara’s daughter was more than willing to cooperate. Oh, and that boy from the Kamisato clan also dropped by from time to time as well. What was his name again? Thoma?” 

You were surprised to find out that Doctor Shinya asked for Yoimiya’s help in the matter, but you supposed he couldn’t just ignore that pro-tip you gave him beforehand. But finding out about these detours that Thoma made on top of everything else he was dealing with made you shake your head. He was just the same as the Kamisato siblings—putting their duties first before anything else. 

“I’m glad to know the soldiers have all recovered then,” you sighed, sipping the tea you’d ordered. “But what are we going to do with the Tenryou Commission? Didn’t you get any backlash for just ordering those guys to go home or something?”

“Oh? You haven’t heard?” Doctor Shinya blinked, setting down his bowl and chopsticks. “Apparently, the Raiden Shogun has made a definitive ruling for the case filed against the heads of the Tenryou and Kanjou Commissions. They were stripped of their titles this morning, and Kujou Sara was elected as the new head of the Kujou clan. She’s the one who insisted they get some much-needed rest.”

Well. This was definitely news to you.

“I-I see…” you replied dryly. “Um, wait. So what’s going to happen now? Is the war over? Are they putting a stop to the Vision Hunt Decree?”

“The answer to all of that is...yes. Lord Ayato is actually overseeing the return of the confiscated Visions as we speak.” Doctor Shinya smiled, gesturing a set distance away from behind him.You squinted your eyes as you tried to follow his lead until you finally saw it. 

Right where the statue of the Electro Archon stood, you saw a flank of scaffolding set-up in front of the stone visage of the Raiden Shogun. It was hard to tell because you were too far away, but you were pretty sure that the men engrossed with it were taking out the colorful orbs once embedded within. Suddenly, you remembered something Thoma said in passing during that one festival on Amakane Island.

Gods, I wish those two would catch a break soon.

You couldn’t even suppress the grin that made it on your face—not minding that Doctor Shinya could see you smiling like an idiot. 

They did it. Ayaka and Ayato managed to turn the tides of the war after all.

“Well, that said,” Doctor Shinya spoke again, interrupting your thoughts. “I only called you out here to update you about what’s happening. These past two weeks haven’t been easy on any of us, after all.”

You nodded with a dreary laugh. “I never thought I’d be taking care of so many people after I…”

For a second, you panicked. Right. You hadn’t told Doctor Shinya about the years you spent as an underground assassin. And it’s not like you could break it to him easily when he seemed to take your contributions with high regard. Great, now you were ashamed of your own tragic past. Was this what they called character development?

But from the way his eyes softened, something told you he already knew.

“So, Doctor Shinya…” You decided to shift the topic. “What are your plans after this?”

“I’ll actually be accompanying Lord Ayato for the reparation procedures,” he told you. “Her Excellency put him in charge of maintaining public relations with the people of Watatsumi Island, and he invited me in hopes of gaining their goodwill.”

“Oh, right. You said you were a native, right?”

Doctor Shinya nodded. “Yes. And…we’ll also be doing a thorough inspection on Yashiori Island. The Tatarigami typically takes years to fully set in the human body, but we suspected that Kujou Takayuki must have done something nefarious to get his hands on such a powerful manifestation of the curse.” 

You nodded. “Yeah. I’ve never heard of being able to mind-control others with it…” 

“Exactly,” the doctor agreed. “Which reminds me. Would you like to come along when we head to Yashiori for the routine inspections? Lord Ayato informed me that Her Excellency said something about a possibility of the wards being disturbed—causing the rampant spread of the Tatarigami.”

“...Wards?” 

He nodded once more. “When the Raiden Shogun slaid the Orobashi hundreds of years ago, the manifestation of its hatred came in the form of the Tatarigami. To keep it from spreading to the nearby islands, Her Excellency put up protective wards all over Yashiori. But…we can speak of it in more detail if you decide to accept my invitation. I’m sure Lord Ayato will be glad to have you on-board.”

Your shoulders slumped at the news. So it wasn’t over just yet after all, huh…

“You know, there’s an onsen somewhere down the road,” Doctor Naoko mentioned, jabbing a thumb behind his shoulder. “Now that I think about it, you look like you could use some rest.”

You shook your head almost too quickly. “Not at all! I’ve actually been feeling…antsy because I had nothing else to do. So please, do take me with you on your trip. I’ll be happy to show you around the island if need be.”

To your disappointment, it seemed like Doctor Shinya was not having it.

“You’ve worked hard enough, kid,” he chuckled, reaching out to ruffle your hair in that same, infuriating way Doctor Naoko used to do with you. “Now go treat yourself to an afternoon at the bathhouse. We aren’t leaving for another two weeks, so you better make use of the time to relax.”

You wanted to protest—to let him know that you weren’t the only one worked down to the bone by everything that’s happening. Ayaka and Ayato were using all their capabilities to restore peace and order. Doctor Shinya took care of an entire battalion of soldiers by himself. Kujou Sara was busy fixing everything her father had inevitably messed up, and…

Thoma. He was probably out there doing errands in-between for everyone else. Because that’s just who he is as a person—a housekeeper in every sense of the word, even if his duties went beyond the corners of the estate.

But in spite of it all, the buzzing need for a few moments of peace tickled the back of your head. You sighed, succumbing to your not-so subtle desire for a break. 

“So just how good is this bathhouse we’re talking about…?”

You stood in front of the doorway to the hot springs with a sigh.

The owner said the bathhouse was reserved for the day by none other than the Kamisato clan, and was about to turn you away. But, in a moment of desperation, you mentioned you were one of the clan’s retainers. 

“Hmm… Oh, here you are on the guestlist,” he remarked as he went through his clipboard. “My apologies, Miss Kira. I’ll be preparing your things in a while. Someone already went ahead of you, by the way!” 

And now here you are.

The glass on the sliding doorway had fogged over from the steam inside, so you couldn’t really see who you were going to share the hot spring with. And given that this was the mixed bath, there might be men from the estate inside. You weren’t really opposed to being in the company of the opposite sex but…from what you remembered, no one had really left the mansion today aside from yourself.

So who was the person lounging inside the onsen, then? 

It couldn’t be Ayato. He was preoccupied with retrieving Visions from the Shogun’s statue. And you couldn’t exactly picture Ayaka just waltzing into a public bath like this either.

“Only one way to find out, I guess…” you muttered.

The interior wasn’t as extravagant as you initially expected. Just a large, closed room with vents in the ceiling to let the steam billow outside. In the middle, the floor was seemingly paved to imitate a naturally occurring hot spring—decorated with ornamental rocks and fake moss. There was a section in the far end where you figured the showers were, if the bamboo shutters were anything to go by. 

You glanced over to the hot spring in the middle, squinting through the steam rising from the water. Just as you were told, someone else was already occupying the onsen, but their back was turned to you and they had a towel wrapped around their head and a smaller one draped across their face. It made the person’s identity quite hard to decipher through the steam. 

Knowing it’ll be futile to scrutinize from a distance, you decided to take off your robe, folding it by the shelf near the entrance, before finally taking a well-deserved dip. 

The stranger(?) didn’t even stir even when the water rippled all around you. You’d decided to occupy the same side of the hot spring out of curiosity, and when you could take a closer look, this person was, in fact, a man. 

Or they could be a flat-chested woman. Don’t be so quick to judge!

You shook your head, letting the heat of the water seep into your skin. The effect was near-instantaneous. You found yourself sinking lower into the bath as you pressed your back against the edge. A pleased sigh escaped your lips and you were mindful enough to wrap your hair in a towel to keep the strands from getting wet.

You stayed like that for a few minutes—happily letting the hot water work its magic on your fatigued body as you stared at the ceiling. But the more time passed, the more you found yourself growing concerned for the man just a few feet away. He hadn’t stirred since you got here, and you worried he might have passed out. 

And won’t putting a towel on your face in an onsen suffocate you or something?

Hesitantly, you weaved through the hot water with your arms crossed—conscious of the fact that your breasts were on full display. But the moment you reached out in an attempt to remove the towel from his face… 

You yelped loudly—the sound echoing throughout the room when you suddenly found yourself with your arms twisted behind you as the man forced your face against the wet rock. What the fuck? How did he—

“...Miss Kira?”

Oh my fucking Archons.

Of course it was Thoma who put you in an instant headlock. 

The two of you merely stared at each other in stunned silence. The towel on his face had dropped to the water and was drifting uselessly across the surface, and the one he’d tied around his head began to come loose as well—letting his long, damp hair cascade down his shoulders. 

His very naked shoulders, attached to a very naked body he used to press you down in one of the most compromising positions imaginable. Huh. This reminded you of the first night he cornered you in the Kamisato estate’s kitchen… 

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered sheepishly, making a show of turning around as if he was trying to give you some privacy. “I thought you were some asshole that’s trying to kill me or something.”

“I can see that,” you scoffed, sinking back into the water with your face redder than his uniform. “Glad to see you’re alive and didn’t die from steam suffocation, though.”

Once you were settled, Thoma decided to scooch a few feet away before lowering himself into the bath once again. 

You did not stare at his ass while his back was turned to you. You didn’t!!!!

“So…” you began, still feeling all sorts of awkward. “What brings you here?”

Thoma cleared his throat, and you watched the bob of his neck as he swallowed. “Um. I might’ve been complaining about wanting to go to the onsen for days now, and Lord Ayato made the proper arrangements just to shut me up.”

“And he honored your wishes just like that?” you snorted. “If I hadn’t known any better, I would’ve thought you were the princess of the house.”

The chief retainer shot you a narrow-eyed stare. “I could ask the same for you. Did you just happen to go into the same bathhouse as me at the same time I decided to as well?” 

“Maybe it’s fate,” you shrugged, recalling the same train of conversation occurring between the both of you in the past. But when you began to consider his question a bit more seriously…

You know, there’s an onsen somewhere down the road.

The bathhouse has been reserved by the Kamisato clan for the day, my apologies.

Lord Ayato made the proper arrangements just to shut me up.

You blinked. That shouldn’t be possible, right? This was all a coincidence. Surely Ayato and Doctor Shinya wouldn’t deliberately set the two of you up like this, right? 

“How are you?”

A jolt ran across your shoulders when Thoma spoke out of the blue again—his voice nearly echoing in the empty room. You stared at him incredulously before forcing yourself to peel your eyes away from the droplets of water that ran tantalizingly across his pectorals.

“I-I’m good,” you replied. “There isn’t much to do back at home anymore so I was just feeling a little antsy. Doctor Shinya told me to relax for a change.” For some reason, Thoma laughed the moment you finished speaking, and your eyes narrowed into slits.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just a bit…happy.”

“With what?”

“You called the estate home.”

“Oh.”

Man, you’ve gotten so soft, it’s embarrassing. 

“How about you?” you murmured in return. “You’ve been so busy, I could hardly talk to you.”

Thoma raised an eyebrow, mouth quirked into a lopsided smile. “Did you miss me?”

“So what if I did? Stupid guard dog…”

You startled again when the water rippled all around you once more. Thoma rose out of the bath just enough to make his way to you. And when he leaned down to meet your gaze head-on, you swallowed thickly—face burning hotter than the room itself. 

“I think I liked it better when you called me pretty boy.” He pouted. 

You groaned, pushing him away, but Thoma refused to budge. “That was one time.” 

“Once is enough to have me thinking about it for weeks.” The laugh that left his lips had a familiar sultriness to it that made your thighs clench. Thoma’s wet hand was on your face again, cupping your cheek as the other peeled away the towel in your hair. 

“I missed you, too,” he murmured, thumb gently teasing the swell of your lip. His green eyes looked so pretty up close. “So much that I had to hop into a bathhouse just to keep my mind off of it.”

You huffed. “Then why didn’t you just go back? Doctor Shinya said everything was already sorted out with the Shogun.”

“Well, yeah. But I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold back if I saw you again.”

“Huh?”

You barely had time to process it when Thoma captured your lips with his own—the hand not holding your face immediately resting on your hip. But you didn’t even have any fight left in you when you were so quick to melt into his kiss. You sighed, and Thoma used the opportunity to slither his tongue inside your mouth. 

He lifted you onto the edge of the bath, wet bodies sliding past each other as he slotted himself between your legs. Though his lower half was still submerged in the water, the feel of his toned stomach made you more flustered than it should. But Thoma wasn’t exactly giving you a lot of leeway to think. 

The chief retainer wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you fervently. You mewled into his mouth as your hands wandered to his hair. You tugged on the strands in a way you remembered he liked, and you couldn’t help the heat that stirred in your stomach at the sound he just made.

“Thoma,” you sighed when he pulled away, lips trailing a fiery path down the column of your neck. “Are we really going to do this? Here?”

For some reason, he tensed. Thoma peeled himself away slightly, eyeing the way you’re presented bare for him to see. You might have blanched and covered yourself if it had been anyone else, but… 

“Sorry,” he muttered again, leaning forward to rest your foreheads together as his hands gripped your thighs. “It’s just like I said. I can’t seem to restrain myself when it comes to you… But if you want me to behave, I’ll gladly do so.”

“...Like a dog?”

“You don’t have to put it like that!”

 For the first time in a while, you managed a lighthearted laugh, shifting your head a little so you could nuzzle the crook of his neck. You couldn’t find traces of Thoma’s scent given that the steam was making your head swim a little. But the reassuring heat of his body was enough to make you feel safe, in spite of his seemingly ravenous appetite for you. 

“I’ll let you do anything you want if you answer my question,” you told him, biting your lip. 

He craned his head. “What is it?”

“...How do you feel about me, exactly?”

You instinctively recoiled, fingers tightening around his arms as you braced yourself for an inevitable rejection. You didn’t really have an idea why you expected the worst right off the bat, but… Surely Thoma wouldn’t—

“How I feel about you?” he repeated, chest reverberating with each word. 

Thoma forcibly pulled you away from his torso, making you meet his beautiful emerald eyes. The smile he flashed you the next second was so real, you could cry.

“I like you. Can’t you tell?” 

Just like that, the disbelief came crashing down on you all over again. 

Did people really just admit their feelings like that? Straight to the point, without any hint of hesitation? You had no clues as to how potential couples went about the ‘confession’ stage, but…wasn’t Thoma being a bit too honest? You thought all the best romances started with some degree of denial and pining from both parties.

“I’m…not used to this kind of thing, okay?” you replied, suddenly feeling even more embarrassed. “If it’s normal for you to just admit to someone that you like them, then—”

“You’re the first person I’ve ever liked enough to confess to, though.”

You could have sworn that steam billowed not just from the water but also out of your ears. This was not real. No one could be this fucking honest with himself. You refused to believe it.

…But then again, Thoma had proved himself to be different from every other person you’ve ever met. He had the patience of a saint, a capacity for banter that could keep up with your own, and a deep-rooted understanding that not everyone could afford to spare for people like you.

Whenever you looked at him, he always reminded you of the sun with not a single cloud obscuring his intentions and you started to see why. 

(Overlooking the fact that he lied about Ayaka’s plans. You can forgive him for that. Kind of.) 

“I don’t deserve you,” you told him with a groan. “Why do you even like me?”

Something shifted in the hot air, and suddenly Thoma’s easygoing smile dropped. He spoke your real name like a prayer in the thick steam, and you could feel your head buzz from the whiplash of it all. When his mouth descended onto yours once again, he lacked the ferocity he’d exhibited in both times you’ve ever kissed him. Thoma merely pecked your lips with the softest of touches before pulling away to meet your eyes.

“You deserve me and more,” he murmured. “And I’ll give you all of that if you’re willing to have me.”

Your first instinct was to argue, but the heat between your legs has festered enough. Instead of debating about what you did and didn’t deserve, you closed your eyes and finally let yourself fall off the edge.

Thoma’s hands were inescapable when you finally gave him a little nudge—that final confirmation. He swallowed up all the sounds you made as he lifted himself out of the water, fingers already making quick work between the growing heat in your thighs. The evidence of your arousal was hard to hide—especially when he’s sliding those thick digits against your glistening seam so tantalizingly, you almost forgot you were in a public bath. 

“Thoma,” you mewled. “W-What if…someone comes in?”

You gasped when he eased one finger inside you, wrapping one arm around your waist as he watched your expressions with a sultry smile. “As much as I’d hate to share this view with someone else…” He leaned closer to your ear, and you instinctively clenched your walls around him. “Something tells me the idea of getting caught excites you.”

“Quit projecting! You’re such a weirdo.” The words were meant to hit like an insult, but you ended up moaning them instead as Thoma slipped in a second finger. “F-Fucking pervert…”

“Hmm? Would you like me to stop then?”

You mourned the loss of the friction when his hand became stock still inside you. A throaty groan scratched against your throat as you threw out a fist—hitting his lean chest in the process.

“...No.”

He chuckled, low and dangerous as he let you sink down to the hot spring—flipping you around so your ass was in full display. His fingers never left, though, and the moment he had you bent over the edge of the pool, Thoma resumed his sinful ministrations. 

You could barely contain your moans when he pressed his chest against your back, spreading your thighs wider as he fingered you loose. His tongue slithered across the shell of your ear, and he even nibbled on your lobe as he worked you between your legs. You sighed—completely embarrassed by how slick and easy the slide of his fingers had become.

But before you could make another sound, Thoma prodded your mouth with the fingers of his free hand. 

“If you don’t want to get caught,” he whispered huskily. “You need to be quiet.”

You would’ve been mortified by how easily you opened your mouth for him had it been any other scenario. But you were so unbelievably aroused by his voice, his heat, and the feel of his strong body caging you underneath his, that your otherwise snarky defenses had been tossed aside. You didn’t want anything else—didn’t need anything else.

All that mattered right now was Thoma.

It didn’t take long for you to notice his hard length rubbing against your ass while he made a mess with your mouth and cunt with his fingers. You couldn’t even fathom the dexterity his multitasking should have required, but you figured that when it came to doing several things at once, he was the man for the job. 

You moaned when he curled his fingers inside you, thighs quivering as he continued thrusting in and out. You couldn’t tell if the clouds of vapor emerging with each bated breath was from the steam or not, but when Thoma took his fingers out from both your mouth and cunt, you couldn’t help the whine that got caught in the back of your throat.

“So needy.” A soft chuckle resounded from behind you and your eyes widened when you felt him slide his cock against your slick folds. 

“T-Thoma…”

“Tell me you deserve me,” he murmured into your ear, pressing your thighs together as he rocked his length into the space between your legs. 

“What are you—”

“Tell me or I won’t fuck you the way you want me to.”

…Gods, he was so hot when he bossed you around. 

Each time his hips pressed forward, you could feel the head of his cock catching on your clit. You nearly sobbed, forcing your palms onto the slippery rocks as you desperately attempted to meet his thrusts. But Thoma wasn’t letting you get what you wanted so easily.

“I’m waiting.” 

Fuck it. Who needs dignity anyway?

“I deserve it,” you moaned. “I deserve you. I deserve your cock. I deserve to get rammed into the next life, just— please!”

Your vision nearly went dark when he finally pressed himself against your entrance—filling you to the brim with the heat of his length. The burn of his passage was conspicuous but bearable. Although, when he finally sheathed himself to the hilt, Thoma let out another infuriatingly sexy laugh as he pressed a kiss against your neck.

“Tell me you like me, too.”

This fucking guy…

“I like you,” you mumbled, feeling your heart stutter with every word. “I like you so much I can’t imagine going back to a life without you anymore.”

All of a sudden, the possessive grip he had on your hips faltered, making you turn around to sneak a glance. Thoma stared at you with wide, green eyes—flushing so badly even the tips of his ears were red.

In the end, his embarrassment melted with a sigh. 

“You know just exactly how to rile me up, don’t you?” 

You were about to dish out some crude reply, but Thoma effectively shut you up with a sharp thrust. 

He took you against the edge of the hot spring, pawing at every inch of skin his hands could reach. Your stomach, your breasts, your thighs—if he’d taken you somewhere else, you were sure he’d spend hours worshipping your body alone. 

Maybe taking a guard dog as a lover wasn’t so bad after all.

“So…good,” you drawled, barely having enough strength to prop yourself upright. Thoma muttered something under his breath before angling his cock a bit differently, hitting a spot inside you that made you melt underneath his touch. 

For a moment, he let himself slip out of your cunt—an action met with another whine in protest. But Thoma  was quick to flip you over again, making your back dig into the pool’s edge. And when your gazes met, you were completely unprepared for the unadulterated want in his eyes.

“I can’t wait—” he hissed, spreading your thighs wide enough to accommodate him, “—to take you in my bedroom. I’ll love you until morning, I swear it.” 

And you believed him. Every single word. Because Thoma was as honest as a man could be, and you wondered if you could learn to be the same way once you’ve been by his side long enough. 

You’ve never felt like this before. So whole. So special. So adored. He made it clear with each thrust exactly how much you meant to him, and you’d be a fool to turn away now. With a sigh, you laced your fingers around Thoma’s neck—eyes glazed over with a desire of your own.

“Kiss me,” you whispered. 

He was sweating all over, lips bitten red with your earlier activities. But Thoma seemed all too willing to heed your every wish as he lowered himself. You leaned upward to meet him halfway—pressing your breasts against his chest as the cadence of his thrusts slowed into a crawl. Thoma canted his hips deep enough to have you moaning into his mouth, and suddenly, you wouldn’t trade any of this, wouldn’t trade any of him for the world. 

If this is love, you thought airily as you lost yourself in the sensation. 

I want all of it.

A few days later, you and Thoma had gone back to work. 

You’d been out all morning, busy with returning confiscated Visions to their rightful owners—something you were more than enthusiastic to get done. After all, it was a job entrusted to the both of you by Ayaka herself.

As a retainer of the Kamisato house, your Lady’s orders were of utmost importance.

However, as the two of you walked back into the estate, your quiet banter with your new lover was momentarily interrupted. In the center of the pavilion, you spotted Ayaka in her lonesome, but you could very much make out the curious eyes of the other retainers encroaching from the sidelines. You couldn’t blame them for their curiosity. 

The Shirasagi Himegimi’s fan dance was always a spectacle to behold. 

You hung back by the entrance as you bore witness to the sight you’d been dying to see since you’d laid your eyes on her. Ayaka was as graceful as the winds of a winter morning, with every move serving to mesmerize any lucky onlooker. She swayed to the beat of the song in her head, flicking her fan with a show of snowflakes every now and again. And when the breathtaking performance came to a close, she glanced your way with a sweet smile.

“Welcome home,” she greeted kindly. “How was your trip?”

“Tiring,” Thoma yawned as the two of you met her at the center. “But everyone’s happy now I guess. Isn’t that right, Miss Kira?”

You nodded. “But it wouldn’t have been possible without you, milady.”

Ayaka chuckled, taking your hands in hers. “Brother and I only laid the groundwork. Everyone else in the Yashiro Commission did their parts as well. This is a team effort, you know?”

If the you from three months ago saw you right now, you knew she would’ve been mortified. Clutching the hands of the same woman you’d been sworn to kill, what a joke. But then again…maybe your past self wouldn’t have minded the idea of being doted on if it was by the princess herself. 

The day you could finally speak to her again, you practically fell to your knees—face splotchy with tears as you spat out every apology you could think of. You were aware of how pathetic you were being. Your crimes had been duly pardoned by Inazuman law, and even if you still harbored some degree of guilt, you swore that you’d right your wrongs in any way or form. And that’s what you were doing now, as an official Kamisato retainer. 

But Ayaka, in all her merciful glory, asked you to stand and put your chin up.

“There’s no need for tears, Miss Kira.” She smiled. “To me, you never really left. You just had to find yourself. And we’d always been willing to welcome you home once you did.” 

And now here you were.

“Oh, you two! You’re back!”

The sound of the Commissioner’s voice snapped you out of your momentary reminiscing. Ayato emerged from the mansion with a familiar figure curled in his arms, and another familiar figure tailing him from behind.  

“Yo, newbie!” Yoimiya greeted with a smile. “So you’re the one who made all those nifty cures, huh? Glad to have supported your cause!”

Blinking up from underneath her hood, Sayu seemingly nuzzled herself further into Ayato’s chest. “So noisy…”

“Aw, Sayu! Don’t go sleeping now! We’re still going to test the fireworks I brought!”

“Are you making preparations for the lunar festival later?” Thoma asked. “We kind of delayed that for a while, huh?”

Ayato nodded with a sigh. “All the more reason to put our backs into it. We’re heading over to Amakane Island to sample Yoimiya’s new inventions. She wanted to make sure there’s no need for fine-tuning. Do you two want to come with?”

“Isn’t it a bit early for testing out fireworks though?” Ayaka wondered, gazing out at the afternoon sky. “But I suppose we could take advantage of the time we have. You and Miss Kira are leaving tomorrow, yes?”

“Unfortunately,” the Commissioner sighed before turning to you and Thoma. “Well, what do you say?”

Before you could even open your mouth, Thoma was already slinging an arm around your shoulder—grinning at Ayato with a confident air.

“We’d love to!”

“So why are you still calling me Kira again? Everyone’s starting to forget I actually have a real name because of you...” 

You posed the question to Thoma when you two found a comfortable spot on the cliff, just underneath the cherry blossoms as you watched Yoimiya and the Kamisato siblings set up the fireworks by the beach. 

Thoma shrugged, resting his chin on your shoulder as he hugged you from behind. “I kind of got used to it.” 

“Liar.”

“What? I’m not lying.”

You snorted, turning to face him with a smirk—the fox mask on your head lightly bumping against his. “It’s not the whole truth either, though,” you said, leaning closer to nuzzle your nose with his. “Come on. I’m leaving tomorrow without any idea when I’ll be back. I won’t get the chance to ask you again for a good while.” 

He whined. “Can I really not come along? I’ve been to Yashiori, too, you know… I’m pretty tough.”

“So you’re just going to leave milady alone like that?”

“...How about we all just go on an indefinite field trip to the Orobashi’s graveyard, and Madarame can be the pseudo-Yashiro Commissioner for a while,” Thoma suggested. “I think it would be a win-win for all parties involved.”

“I don’t think milady will last long living in the wild,” you admitted, and Thoma surrendered with a sigh. “But fine. If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you.”

For what it’s worth, the thought of leaving Thoma to help investigate the wards on Yashiori left a bitter taste in your mouth, too. It’s only been a few days since the two of you made it official, and now you’re going to have to leave him for a while. But there were things that had to be done, and as a Kamisato retainer, you’re obligated to see them through until the end.

Sometime later, Yoimiya shouted from below to keep your eyes peeled. You and Thoma had been assigned as the official judges for her newest craft, and you were more than happy to humor the lively fireworks-maker. It also gave you an excuse to sit between Thoma’s legs as you watched.

However, as the special fireworks shot up to the sky, you felt Thoma’s breath against your ear.

“It’s because I want to be the only one who calls you by your real name,” he whispered. “Is that so possessive of me?”

Whether the redness of your face was a reflection from the fireworks or plain embarrassment, no one would ever be able to tell.

Yoimiya’s invention was something else—fireworks that changed color right before the sparks shimmered into oblivion. Fiery red morphing into electric blue. Bright gold into luscious green. You watched each one rise into the sky with a dazzled look, chest twisting at the idea that it might take you a while to witness another fireworks show again.

You were completely unaware of the bright emerald eyes that watched you the whole time.

When all the preparations on the island were set, and you’d given Yoimiya your stamp of approval, the visitors had started pouring in. It’s as if Inazuma hadn’t been on the brink of an internal collapse because of the Kanjou and Tenryou Commission’s misdeeds. Everyone who walked beneath the torii gates had smiles splitting their faces as they sampled festival food, tied their wishing charms, and tried their hand at the game booths. 

That night, Thoma finally met his match in the form of a rather competitive Kujou Sara—who made a surprising entrance with Masahito despite how busy things were on their end. She ended up beating Thoma’s goldfish-catching record without a sweat, earning herself a new and improved Mister Danuki plush of her own.

Even the kids from Konda Village made it, immediately running towards yours and Ayaka’s direction before they inevitably dragged the two of you all over the place. The princess must have sensed the unease in your posture as Futaba and Takeru told you about how their fathers used to bring them here all the time, too.

There’s a time for you to tell them. Just not now, her eyes seemed to say.

Ayaka had to peel away from your little group to perform her fan-dance to the crowd, enrapturing every single person in attendance without fail. From behind, you could hear Kujou Sara speaking to Ayato about how the princess can finally enjoy a festival like a normal girl. The Commissioner couldn’t help but sigh in agreement. 

By the time Yoimiya’s fireworks show was underway, you were already exhausted. 

Instead of taking your usual spot by the cliffs, you decided to hang around by the entrance with Thoma, where there were less people crowding the space. This gave you the leeway to breathe, resting your head on his shoulder as you fought your brain’s desire to just go to sleep.

“We can head back now if you want,” he offered, stroking your hair. 

“Mmm…” you groaned. “But Yoimiya’s fireworks.” 

The chief retainer smiled. “And you’ve already done her a favor by judging her handiwork. You deserve a good night’s rest before you leave, you know?”

Well, it didn’t take much convincing for you to agree, so to speak.

Thoma’s mattress was soft as you landed on the surface, not bothering to change out of your kimono. Your lover let out a soft laugh while he stripped himself of his uniform before joining you on his bed. The dip of the bed under his weight made you crack one eye open, and you could see him holding a familiar toy in front of you.

“Don’t forget to pack Mister Danuki before you leave,” he reminded, setting the plush on top of his nightstand. 

“I won’t,” you murmured. “I’ll miss you too much if I do…”

Thoma sighed as he pulled the sheets over your bodies. “You always know what to say, huh?”

You let out a satisfied noise when you felt him nestle you in his strong arms. Turning around, you rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

“You’re not going to try anything tonight?” you asked curiously.

“As much as I want to have passionate, unforgettable goodbye sex,” Thoma started with a laugh, pressing his lips against your forehead, “I am completely serious about you getting a good night’s rest, Miss Kira. Now go to bed before I change my mind.”

Though your eyelids were heavy with fatigue, you still managed a soft, almost mischievous laugh. Thoma, of course, didn’t miss the playful lilt in your tone, and immediately groaned when you climbed on top of his lap.

You stared at him from your vantage point, watching the way his ears turned red under your scrutiny. This was the man who made the gears on your stale, unsalvageable life finally turn. If it weren’t for him, you never would’ve changed. If it weren’t for him, you never would have formulated a cure that’s effective enough to save those you cared about.

If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be as happy as you were now.

“I love you,” you told him, fingers toying with the pendant around his throat. “Thoma of the Kamisato House, I love you.” 

Thoma smiled, soft and sincere and everything you’ve ever loved. When his hand reached up to caress your cheek, you’re not strong enough to resist his touch.

“I love you, too.”

This was your place in the world. Even if you had to leave for a while, you’ll always come back to him. 

Without worry. Without fail.

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© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms.

[anasleaf]

intro post 💬

🌸 i’m daisy! i’m not new to ed tumblr (or twt) at all but i’m making a new blog to try and motivate myself a little more!

🌸 i’ve been here on and off since i was 14 :( had a good honeymoon phase when i was 16 where i lost nearly 150lbs (yay) but i’ve gained nearly 100lbs back :(

🌸 i’ve been stuck in a binge/restrict cycle for nearly 2 years now, and i’m the highest weight i’ve been since i was 16

🌸 atm im moving house! which doesn’t sound like much but im hoping the new environment will help me kick my binge habits and start some healthier (or more ed) habits so i can lose weight!

🌸 i don’t have a specific goal in mind, i just hope to be down 50lbs by the end of the year (even that is a push) but at this point even going down 20lbs would make me happy

🌸 i have a really active job that makes getting my steps in/burning cals easy but i think my body has gotten used to it by now :( i also don’t walk as much as i used to because i have a car!

🌼 anyway moots welcome! i can’t promise that ill be super interesting, i just feel a little stuck in my old blog!

[roadyblr]

😱😲🤯 YOU HAVENT POSTED ABOUT YECHAN IN FOUR WHOLE DAYSSS

I can’t breathe that long without him.. can I???😫😫

also I dreamt about yechan and hunter and I was (very) pleasantly surprised when I woke up. I’ve been thinking about it ALL DAY.

it was the best dream I’ve had in like a month..

I’m curious.. what’s the best dream you’ve had about any K-pop idol??🤨🤭

cause mine was definitely the one I had today.

my friend (she’s obsessed with chan, especially blonde chan) had (another) dream about him and she said he gave her two tickets to their concert and🥹🥹 she said I was there with her😭😭

she’s so sweet.. anyways byeee sweet dreams from your favourite.. (I’m sorry about this) roadster!!! It’s still a work in progress I think..

(TMI of the day: Maru is a puppy of whatever it’s called has been stuck in my head since I saw the yt short Seungmin did to it and.. had won ATE THAT UP. I need hunter to do it SOO BADDD. ok anyways byeee!!)

😭😭 fr four days? I didn't realize it had actually been that long (fansites on twt be getting me through ig)

When it comes to dreams dreams and not things I think about while falling asleep I don't often remember them unless they're really weird

but I remember junmin being in one like I met him in a supermarket and suddenly we were in the break room area of a hospital??? And a nurse was trying to attack me with a syringe?? And junmin did not help at all 😞😞 man's just let me get my ass handed to me (I fear he would irl too)

I bit chan in a dream I remember that

Nah you cookin like roadster=car, car="beep beep beep virus" from witch im seeing the vision

Hunter our tiktok king he could do (even if I laughed at the fire transition on thier bye bye bye video)

iiiif you got through all that nonsense *pulls these out of my pockets*

Credits: @ glowyyechan on twt

[oscconfessions]

To the anon who made the anti-ship ask, I agree with you on some level.. but also don't?

Now, I’ll give you credit. I do personally enjoy most wlw stuff from the osc. So I might have some baises here. I do get where you're coming from when it comes to shipping.

But at the same time, I think the reason you don't see that many anti shippers in the tumblr/twt community is because most antishippers in the osc (Who doesn't actually even use that title) are 10 year old boys on some big osc youtubers community tag.

And a lot of oscyt who do fall under the line of anti shippers are just very immature individual who are stuck in the echochamber known as the community tab of youtube who would most likely be as immature if they were shippers) but that still doesn't help out in the image

Basically most anti shippers in the osc don't actively want to critique and rant on ships like you do, most osc anti shippers don't really know how to even analyze the writing (Ex. "team that loses = bad writing")

TLDR: Anti-ship discoursein the osc, (FROM WHAT I KNOW) is very very stupid and usually very very petty

I do agree with you the more shippy sides of the osc are very allergic to non-ship dynamics, but

*Epic cowboy hat going down*

Look, I've been in the same situation as you, so many characters I like get stripped down to some basic garbage personality, tha lacks the nuance they have in canon. And then it’s all I see of them, I only see people portray them that one way and I can’t escape it. I feel it’s also shoved down my face.

But now, and this is where you might lose me, and where my take might become ass.

IF you want anti-ship osc content you need to make it yourself, even with all the haters.

I wanted more content that noticed the characters actual personality, so I started posting analises, I wanted to find people who shared my takes so I started looking around for people(THIS was actually way easier due to me making content, since those people KNEW my takes)

I'm sorry to say it, but people who like shipping all the characters together won't suddenly stop posting that content or posting more platonic content of osc characters because you don't like ships. Whilst it sucks that you feel like you have a place in the osc, a lot of the people came here wanting to ship stuff, a lot of people enjoy doing that just as much as you enjoy antishipping

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY

If you want more platonic osc content, if you want MORE anti ship content you'll need to make it yourself, if you want to stop having ship content down your tags then block as many ships you know of. (Again I'll give you credit this ain't fool proof), Your confession is true I do agree with it. I know you might feel forced to ship things, but I’m telling you right now as a person who's been in a lot of /fandoms that are big on shipping, no one is forcing you. And I think you understand that. But forcing yourself to like shipping isn't good. But then again I can't really blame you (god this is way to long)

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, If you want to have a space for platonic osc dynamics THEN YOU CAN’T EXPECT PEOPLE WILL MAGICALLY KNOW YOU WANT THAT IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM. I’m sorry to say this (because I’ve done this before) But especially on the internet people don’t know what you want.

And looking at the response your ask got, THERE IS A AUDIENCE FOR IT. Even if it isn’t big, people do want to see that!

YOU KNOW WHAT! If you make a blog or whatever about divorces and platonic osc dynamics, I will be your number one supporter! KEEP ON DESTROYING RELATIONSHIPS, GO FOR IT! HAVE FUN!

- a certified yapper (PS TO any people who are really into shipping who would attack this person for having a blog about antishipping, your as bad as the oscyt 10 year olds)(I sorry if this is mean I'm going insane, have a lovely life etc))

.

[mangomoody]

Are u going to make the Argos doll yet?

I was thinking about it soon but I’ve been busy and honestly I have no idea where to start- I’m trying to plan everything out but I’m stuck on his hair and how to do his eyes-

TwT he’s much harder than I expected when planning on making him. I also did want the doll base I had to be smaller than my other one but it isn’t, I might try and make a Mr. Flower doll instead and try to experiment with that