#i’ve been ruminating

[porters-fangs]

thinking about treasure hours

thinking about treasure collapsing on the kitchen floor after porter left, clutching their knees and gasping for breath, chest heaving with dry sobs

thinking about treasure convinced that they’d just thrown away the one good thing they’d ever been able to call their own because they care too much, they care too deeply

thinking about treasure picking at their nails until their fingers are bleeding, watching with a numb detachment, feeling porter’s teeth in their neck, porter’s blood on their tongue after they bit down too hard on his lip

thinking about treasure being silent for days, too scared to open their mouth because they’re cursed to ruin things with every word that spills out, even when they just want to help

thinking about treasure wondering whether he’ll ever come back or if he’ll just disappear like everyone else did when they got sick of their anxieties, their insecurities, their need to fix everything around them in hopes it might heal them too

thinking about treasure rehearsing what they might say if he came knocking again, a thousand different apologies running rampant in their mind and not enough strength to utter a single word

thinking about treasure, certain that they’re the reason he’ll never trust again, never open up to anyone the way that he almost did with them

thinking about treasure wishing him the best, sure that they’ll never see him again but praying he’ll find the happiness he deserves, even if it won’t be with them

thinking about treasure

[shorthaltsjester]

have been thinking about the recent interview about the mighty nein animated series where it was mentioned that the series as a whole would be more of a departure and that vox machina s3 is a similar change versus the more canon retelling they started with in s1 and i’ve seen some negative reactions to it but honestly i’m Psyched to hear that is a change they’ve committed to in their writing and storytelling for the animated series because like. we have the campaigns. and for me the moments in the animation that have fallen the most flat or haven’t felt as fulfilling is when the show has tried to capture the Same Thing as the campaign without having the hundreds of hours of context that supported the moment in the campaign that made it Significant. and it is much much more exciting for me to have a changed story that is changed because it is now. a episodic television show and not a recording of actors playing dnd. like . yes actually Please change the storylines to be storylines and not the whims of game players. yes actually please make a good story in the medium it’s being told in.

[charmac]

I think getting railed by Mac would give Dennis a new perspective that doesn’t change who he is and is consistent with his characterisation... Just a thought tho.

[gracemarkss]

i really do think we lose out on a lot by cutting ethan from the pilot. so much of what we learn about scully in subsequent episodes and seasons - her relationships with her father, with jack, with daniel; her experiences in never again and how she describes her relationship to authority; the themes of normalcy and expectation, desire and fear, what you should want vs what you actually want, letting yourself want; about having a life and drawing lines and getting out of the car…once you learn about jack, ethan makes so much sense.

how much time passed between her time at the academy and dating jack and her assignment to the x files? months, a year at most maybe? with the revelations in lazarus, you start to wonder, what made her go from a superior decades older than her who’s intensity is his downfall to a regular run of the mill guy in her peer group? when she talks about other fathers in never again, taken with everything she’s said about wanting “a life”, it becomes a bit more clear - this was a course correction. it’s all the more clearly drawn in all things, another taboo relationship with a man she could never bring home. is it “normal” to date your teacher, have emotional affairs with married professors twice your age? is that what good catholic girls do? can you bring these men to sunday dinner with your parents’ pastor? so ethan is a conscious choice. an experiment in normalcy. an attempt at the clean cut boyfriend that you can bring home to dad, with an eye on the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, the 2.5 kids. she doesn’t not want it. she wants to want it. it’s what girls from her background are expected to do. missy certainly isn’t going to. so it’s up to her. and she’s already rebelled so much already, with her career choices. she can do this. she can want this. she can be a good daughter. she can make this work.

but then there’s the assignment. then there’s mulder. then there’s passion and intensity adventure and a fierce dedication to the truth, to helping people, to a dogged pursuit of justice (whatever form that might take). there’s the adrenaline rush over lost time beside empty graves in the rain. there’s this strange man you just met being so careful with your vulnerability, and handing his to you in kind. how can a weekend out of town with ethan compare to this? what’s the house and the fence and the sunday dinners compared to this?

so ethan is is out. the experiment in normalcy has failed. but the fear lingers. there are still expectations to meet. there are still parts of her that wants it. she could get it if she really tried. it’s something that she comes back to over and over again, fear vs desire, the contradictions in all the things she wants and needs, the heavy weight of expectation, both from others and her own. and i think it’s all communicated that much more clearly and powerfully when ethan’s presence is maintained in the pilot.

[dutchs-paisley-vest]

Been thinking about Hosea a lot as I write this analysis on Dutch and Micah.

Maybe I’ll eventually whip something up about him, but for now I’m left with thoughts about knowing that not only is Hosea just as guilty as Dutch when it comes to how their boys were brought up (and continued to be treated through adulthood and ultimately up to their deaths), but also the way the two irreparably damaged John and Arthur’s entire lives beyond even their own comprehension. FURTHERMORE, they set forth a viscous cycle of familial violence and neglect that maintained momentum into the next generation. (See: John and Jack.)

The way Hosea’s action, but more importantly his inaction had in part led to… well, [gestures vaguely to RDR1 + RDR2].

Hosea might have been gentler than Dutch on the surface, but he saw it all, and at times both implicitly and explicitly encouraged it through the meticulous timing of his decisions to remain a “silent watcher.”

Yes, refusal to mitigate the violence makes him complicit, but the matter of the fact is… Hosea can’t even feign partial innocence as a third-party bystander because of how calculated he is in nature.

Additionally, there is no “third party.” Dutch and Hosea are a single unit. They occupy the same space even as two separate individuals in John and Arthur’s lives.

The deliberate nature of Hosea’s inaction puts him in the same position as the “perpetrator” because he isn’t just a watcher, he corroborates directly with Dutch and agrees with what he is doing on principle. He reenforces it in perhaps more subtle ways, but that doesn’t make him any less responsible for the outcome.

The only difference between the two is that while they’re dealing different cards, they are playing the exact same game.

[fruitlicense]

before Arcane S2 I always wondered why Vi and Powder went with Vander so easily after their parents died and why Powder ran to Silco for comfort after the warehouse fire.

Vander and Silco knew Felicia and Connol. hell, Vander named Vi! in all likelihood, Vander and Silco were like uncles to Vi and Powder in their early childhood, because they were close friends with their parents and worked the same profession. it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the four adults staggered their shifts in the mines to make sure someone was there to watch the girls at any given time. also, I don’t think Vander and Silco had their falling-out until soon before or during the rebellion that killed Felicia and Connol. in fact, I would hazard a guess that the reason Vander is wandering around post-battle pummeling the remaining Enforcers and looking for the dead is because he missed a good chunk of the fight while he was down in the river trying to strangle Silco.

the key piece of information here is that Vander and Silco were still friends and probably still in Vi and Powder’s lives right up until it all went wrong. when Vander took Vi and Powder in, he wasn’t adopting two kids he’d found randomly out of some sense of guilt or pity - those were his best friends’ kids. they approached him as a safe person even after seeing him beat some random guy because they knew him. when Powder saw Silco after Vander’s death and launched herself at him for a hug, she didn’t do that because he was the closest nearby person. she remembered him, even after however many years spent with Vander instead of her parents. his hesitation before he hugged her back was likely due to the time that had passed and his tension with Vander, not a lack of recognition.

TLDR: Vi and Powder don’t approach Vander and Silco as father figures because they’re the closest people at the times they need support, but because Vander and Silco were their parents’ best friends and they knew them already from childhood.

[heyclickadee]

Deleted that post where I sort of went off reiterating how much a want to see an Omega and Tech hug in canon. I haven’t changed my mind and there are multiple reasons why I was so ticked, but I could have been a lot nicer about making my point and I need to be better about just not letting things strangers say on the internet bother me.

[roseofcards90]

I think I’ve been having ocd flare ups lately 😭 it’s so bad

[sizzleissues]

in the pursuit of not sounding crazy - we made a deranged noise. Pack it up boys, they all think we’re psychotic now. Time to go home. Maybe next time your love won’t make someone feel bad - maybe try not crying. I haven’t seen normal people but damn - sure is probably real if I were to watch it

[ali3nboyfriend]

on the one hand it is fully expected that even when i’m laid out not able to do much the world keeps moving on around me and i cannot reasonably ask it to stop for my sake. on the other hand god damn do i wish i didn’t have to spend so much of my time recovering from fatigue so i could just move in step w everyone around me and stop feeling like i’m being left behind.

[mars-ipan]

don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode)

[aeolianblues]

Presented without comment.

[marshmellowtea]

one thing i love about mark scout (both innie and outie flavors) is that he will, in general, eventually do the brave thing, he just needs 2-5 business days to have a crisis about it first before he psychs himself up to it hfhxsgxs

[lumateranlibrarian]

Could the corrupted Ankara… be Helio?

[monowires]

why is “because it makes me happy” never a good enough reason for my ocd.

[zorosdimples]

……….. i think i need to make an official self-ship list