#i’ve already been on a half break from tumblr i suppose

[heartpascal]

hello lovely people <3

here is another update for you!!!

ok so the reality of my upcoming exams is .. almost too real!!! and i feel completely unprepared (though i probably am more prepared than i feel, but not by much) so alas i am going to be deleting the tumblr app from my phone temporarily (bc that’s where i use it the most, very good for procrastinating) !!!

i might still pop on here a little bit here and there, but the goal is to … not do that!!!

my first exam is on the 24th of may, and my final exam is on the 23rd of june!

so i’ll be back for good after the final one!!! until then, it’ll be pretty random when/if i’m here!!!

i apologise :( but once i’m back i’ll be able to write freely!!! have multiple fics in the works so i hope you guys can hold out till then :(

seems like a long time, i know, but time is moving so quickly!!! gotta get a hold of it all now.

i love you all, stay well, stay safe <3

[1moreff-creator]

Corrigendum - Literature Girl Insane Analysis

Updates After CH2 PT2

More than a year ago, the entire DRDT fandom was thrown on its head when the Literature Girl Insane David MV dropped. And with the help of DRDT Tumblr for mystery finding and interpretations, about a year ago I made “A Full Vivisection of the David MV,” a two and a half hour video going over everything I could. While I still think the video mostly holds up even after CH2 PT2, there’s quite a few things that require an update. Let’s go over them, shall we?

(Is this a correct use of the word "corrigendum"? I don't know, but it's close enough for me to use given the connection to the book theme we got going on :v)

As a warning, though, this post will more or less assume that you’ve watched Vivisection, as some sections might be complete gibberish without the context of my previous interpretations of this thing.

Spoilers up to CH2. CW: Suicide, murder, hanging, CH2 execution, gun violence, blood

I’ll go through the recontextualizations in order of appearance in the MV, though first: 

Footnote 14 Solution, Tally 5 Correction

So these two things aren’t related to Part 2, but instead codes already in LGI. Since Vivisection came out, the footnote 14/Roman numeral I code got solved, and I’ve been informed that the solution for tally 5 I hinted at in the video was, while not wrong in the sense that you could arrive at the code using it, not the actually intended solution. Basically I said to pay attention to line breaks, when you’re actually supposed to ignore them, and that meant that one character had to be ignored when in reality the real solution works perfectly fine without ignoring it. Sorry, the line break thing was just commonly repeated advice given on Tumblr at the time and I don’t know why I never double checked how accurate it was :v

The proper solutions can be found in my Secrets Masterpost, so I won’t repeat them here. The Roman numeral I code, attached to Xander via crosswords, returned “I have always looked up to you,” which is perfectly in line with both the things David states in 2-12 and the conclusions drawn about how he feels towards Xander from the MV. As for tally 5, that will be addressed later. 

Yoidore Shirazu Lyrics

Another thing that happened was the release of the Elliot MV, Yoidore Shirazu. While the MV itself is not particularly for our purposes, I'm bringing it up to double check a thing with the lyrics.

You might remember that a big chunk of Vivisection was informed by "Language Theory," the idea that some lyrics' translations were specifically changed to fit better with David. This was supported by footnote 5, "As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate," as well as the fact that Coleena Wu was listed in the credits, meaning her translation was used as a base for the David MV even though there were many differences between the David MV's lyrics and her version.

Thus, when I saw that Yoidore Shirazu credited Magenetra for the English lyrics, I figured I'd check if it happened again. And yes, there are a few lines here and there where the Elliot version is slightly different from the original translation. While I won't get into all of them in this post, a particularly notable change is "my muddy, obstructed and broken vision of the future, it's not half bad" in the original changing to "my muddy, obstructed, broken future, it's not half bad" in the Elliot MV, for example.

What does this tell us about the David MV? Well, I would argue that if dev decided to change a few lyrics in an MV where word placement isn't as important as in LGI, presumably just to make them fit better with Elliot or because dev just prefers certain wording (I don't see any other reasons the translation would be different), then it's very possible that they also consciously changed a few LGI lines to fit better with David. Maybe. In other words, I believe this is an extra argument to the validity of Language Theory, though I could also see it as an argument against ("maybe dev just doesn't care about sticking so close to the translations they use") :v

Now let’s actually go from the start of the MV to the end, shall we?

Color Connection Theory: Orange

In Vivisection, I said (words more words less) that while in a vacuum orange would probably go to Ace, the context of some of the lines seemed to fit Xander better, with the argument that the trailer for the series assigns orange as the color of the first letter of Xander’s name in a hypothetical class trial. The main argument was that Orange “that guy” appeared next to Green “this guy” (Hu/Teruko, leaning Hu) and Black “you” (possibly Mai), and lumping Ace in with characters who seemed much more important than him at the time seemed… strange.

Since then, Ace has gained a notable amount of importance to this particular part of the story, given the whole blackened thing. As a result, I would argue his inclusion as Orange is now more likely than Xander’s. Take a look at the start of the first chorus, for example, and you’ll see that putting Xander as red (which would be redundant if he’s also orange) makes for a nice, neat reading in the context of this trial.

[Literature Girl Insane] Even if you cry, make noise, shout, go mad the world won’t change!

Arei: “Even if you cry about hurting Eden, you’ll still always be a horrible person.”

Hu: “Even if you make noise to make yourself useful, you’re still the same hopeless child who attempted suicide three times.”

Ace: “Even if you shout, you’ll always be a coward.”

Xander: “Even if you go mad, you’ll always be a good person at heart.”

“No matter what, you people (the world) won’t change.”

What a lovely worldview David has! 

There’s also this instance, "let's play!":

[Literature Girl Insane] With anonymous hopes let's play!

Which makes sense given Ace is “playing the killing game” by… killing in the game. Foreshadowing or am I insane? These are not mutually exclusive. 

Hand Holding

dev why /affectionate

So, yeah. Arei holds David’s hand the same way Ideal Country Woman does. At least we’ve got near 100% confirmation that the weird line of white pixels is not a glove or anything, but rather a bend of the wrist as expected. 

Now we have to ask what Arei’s connection to this mess is. Thankfully, I can at least draw a connection between Arei and the surrounding context of the scene, so we’re not going in completely blind. As a reminder, here’s the interpretation I arrived at for the “tunnel scene” that directly precedes Miss Hand Holding’s appearance.

[Extract from Vivisection] David gives Xander the order to "escape the tunnel," so open himself up to love others. However, "but," loving David is a bad idea, because he's a monster who's better off dead. His opinion, right? So he asks himself, where should Xander escape? "Where to?" In other words, who should Xander like and be friends with?

The connection to Arei should be more or less clear, provided you replace Xander's name with her. There’s two ways to take it. Arei opened herself up to David, “escaped the tunnel on his direction” per say. And given what happened directly after, you could say it led to a “disastrous scene.” Alternatively, if David genuinely wanted to accept Arei’s proposal to be “less shitty together,” if he “escaped the tunnel in Arei’s direction,” that too could be considered a “disastrous scene” because Arei died. That one’s admittedly a pretty big if, butconsidering some of the stuff David says…

David [2-10]: Unless, of course, you were Arei. That girl wanted desperately to prove herself as a "friend" to Eden. And yet she completely lacked any experience with what "friends" were actually like. [...] What could she know about "friendship," after all? Someone like her, who had not once experienced kindness in her entire life up until now? [...] [Breaking down] It's... It's so... Ahaha. It's just so foolish. For someone to take advantage of Arei like that... It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.

Yeah he might have cared. 

So, okay, Arei can be connected to the surrounding context so this isn’t completely out of left field, but we still have the possibility of a further connection to the Mystery Girl. As you might recall, this girl is either Diana Chiem (based on certain similarities with David and because revealing Ms Naegi like this would be weird) or Ms Naegi (because Diana isn’t in the Cast List, while Naegi is). I don’t see any immediate connections to Naegi, so we’re left with Diana, who also has little connection.

Of course, the number one takeaway is that Arei reminds David of Diana (or Ms Naegi) in some way, so we can infer Mystery Girl might have supported David despite knowing about his manipulative nature, especially possible since she's positioned in the MV in a way where she's the "(so-called) ideal country." I'm about to ramble a whole lot more about other possibilities, but this is probably what we're meant to get from this.

If we’re allowing a small amount of unhingedness, another connection that could be drawn is between Arei’s family situation and David’s. Arei also had sisters, but they treated her horribly until Arei ruined their lives. Translated to Diana, this could mean that David treated her badly, that she did something to harm him, or both. If their relationship turned bad during Hope’s Peak time, it could explain why Footnote David, presumed to be David before losing his memories, claims she doesn’t exist, when Killing Game David speaks about her openly. Did he try to cut ties with her or something, and tries to pretend she doesn’t exist? Again, unhinged and probably not what the takeaway is meant to be, but we know less than zero about Diana, so it's not impossible.

Alternatively, though, it's worth noting that Mystery Girl and Arei tilt their heads in opposite directions, which could symbolize they're opposites in a way. Taken with the previous interpretations, this could mean either Mystery Girl supported David without knowing about his motive secret (opposite of interpretation 1), or that Arei's family situation is opposite Diana's, aka David had a good relationship with his sister (opposite of interpretation 2).

But speaking of insane, would you believe me if I told you that this visual similarity could, alternatively, be evidence for literally the most unhinged theory in the entire Vivisection? That is, the ridiculous deduction which is arrived at by analyzing the objects in the “suspicious gaps” attached to footnote 11, “I admit to lying. There is no one named OOOOO OOOOO. I am, and always have been, an only child," as well as the Catch-22 quote that comes directly after. Full explanation in Vivisection, but here’s the theory. 

[Extract from Vivisection]  So, first, I think the footnote is a double lie. David's lying about lying. He does actually have a sister but, for some reason, he's trying to deny it. He's pulling an Arturo: something happened with his sister, and he's trying to distance himself from it. That's where the snake with the blood and the safe come in, with the rope possibly implying a suicide. Remember the family history of depression? [...] So, it's possible Diana died. [...] It's also possible that whatever happened to Diana would have been hinted at in David's motive video. [...] Yeah, that's my explanation for the TV. But, why would this bad thing which happened to Diana be in David's motive video? That would imply David doesn't remember it. That's what the Snowden line could mean. [...]

Yeah remember that insane thing? Well, Arei died by hanging, so it’s possible Diana also died by hanging, aka suicide. This connection doesn’t make the theory any less unhinged, but it’s there. 

I hate the things I love, and I love the things I hate

As a refresher, this screen is about Xander, indicated mainly by the references to electrocution literally framing the scene. Nothing’s actually changed here, mind you, I just wanted to point out that it’s interesting that so far, we’ve only seen David talk about Xander with love, and we haven’t really seen the whole “I hate” part yet. Curious to see how that will develop later.

suspicious gaps

Still zero clue, I’m just putting it here because it’s still killing me.

V. Right now, why do you go insane? [Ace's numeral]

We should’ve known, guys… Ace’s numeral is literally right next to Arei’s (IV), not just in song position, but numerically. Incidentally, that means both killers so far have been in multiples of five (Min with X, Ace with V), so, uh, Whit (XV), anything you wanna tell us about CH3?

(I don’t think he’ll be the CH3 killer I’m just being silly :p)

Anyways, the big update here is related to the background text, “a cat has 9 additional lives.” This was already pointed out by treescanfly, and that is that Thanatophobia, Ace’s execution, featured 9 different execution methods (scythe - illness - fire - falling - murder - drowning - lightning - firing squad (execution)). Looks like horseboy really was a catboy all along!

XIII. or [not to be?] [Teruko's numeral]

The interpretation of the quote itself, that it’s a reference to Teruko’s suicidal tendencies, hasn’t changed. It’s only gotten more explicit.

Teruko [2-16]: Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.

:(

Not much else here, though it seems Teruko might start rejecting the suffering associated with being the Omelas child given her talk with DefaultTV, so that’s fun.

Footnote 6, “[Prayer]”

So what I’m about to say is technically a connection that existed since LGI’s realease, but was just a bit too insane for me to even think about back then. 

Basically, you know how Mai is referred to as a “God” in this video, because of her numeral and the arrow? Well… what if that’s connected to this footnote? And, I don’t know, Min is praying to Mai?

Again, unhinged even for my standards, but with the confirmation that XF-Ture Tech is in some form behind the killing game… anything that puts Min in a weirdly plot relevant position (such as inexplicably having a Mai connection beyond what we saw in Bonus Episode 1) should be at least written down for posterity, if nothing else. 

That's my way of saying- Please write about Min, guys. I miss her :(

Footnote 12

“Majority rule” is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That's why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die.

In Vivisection, I primarily argued the meaning of this footnote through the lens that David may have genuinely believed he had driven Arei to suicide, and thus believed he was the blackened. This turned out to be horribly wrong, so we course correct. 

Instead, this simply seems to be what David was hoping would happen when he pulled out the magical girl transformation, albeit stylized with an impossible 16 people vote. The screen that flashes after just seems to reflect what David thinks would actually happen if a blackened won, or just what will happen by the end of the killing game no matter what: “Everyone will be executed.” That’s based on this line:

David [2-12]: 15 lives. Some of them are very dear to you. And your own life as well. Is there anything at all that could be more important to you than those 16 human lives?

Where David talks about sacrificing the full 16 lives of the participants, seemingly without taking into account that the blackened wouldn’t actually die in his plan. Because of that, it’s inferred that David doesn’t actually think the blackened would survive even if they won the trial. 

Other than that, the footnote seems to just be a direct reference to what Teruko says in the trial:

Teruko [2-15]: We determine who lives and who dies by a majority vote. In other words, the opinion of everyone who *isn't* you.

Which, uh... makes things easier, so I'm not gonna read into it much further :v

“What is the most important thing?” / Mistaken alphabet

Still no idea what these two things are about, that’s why I’m bringing them up :v

Original

[Extract from Vivisection] So, what I think is the best idea is that all the characters [referring to Color Theory] got the word. [...] I think it makes more sense to relate them to the meaning of "original style" under my interpretation, where "original style" means a change of heart.

The interpretation from Vivisection seems to hold strong, as MonoTV did actually have a “change of heart” of sorts, albeit brief. Hey we take the Ws where we can get them >:D

Two Eyed Xander

The theory discussed in Vivisection that David might hold memories from Hope’s Peak times was seemingly debunked by a tweet from the dev, even if the thread referenced in the link was later deleted. I did say in Vivisection that I didn’t believe the theory even if it was cool, so… we’re chilling. 

Of course, though, we did get confirmation that David knew about Xander before Hope's Peak, so the appearance of Xander with two eyes was meaningful! Cool!

Correct/Incorrect (Tally 5)

This is going to discuss the unlisted video linked in the footnotes of Vivisection, which I am well aware most of you probably didn’t watch given the view count. In any case, the thing I said there, which I also said in my Mai post, was that tally 5 could imply David had been involved in the weird revolution against Hope’s Peak that Xander and Mai had going on. While this is still certainly possible, given what was said in 2-12, it seems more plausible that tally 5 actually references David taking on Xander’s dream during the killing game.

David [2-12]: I don't care how low I'll sink, or how despicable I'll have to become. I'll do anything to carry on Xander's ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means I have to dirty my hands.

Yeah, the dream of killing everyone, that one. I say this not only because we know David “threw away his humanity” for it, but also because the image itself shows David holding Xander’s jacket, which would imply this is being said after Xander’s death. Thus, during the killing game. 

Numeral IX - Look, aside from that, give me the usual medicine [Levi's numeral]

Well, he sure needs medicine alright! Yeah that’s the best answer I currently have about what in the hell this numeral means, so we’re going with this. 

That said, points to Vivisection me, because the “Levi is Jupiter protecting Earth from asteroids” interpretation ended up being pretty solid. 

Clock Fork

You know, the theory that Eden was the one to rip out Xander’s eye based on the clock in LGI existed before I made Vivisection, I just… didn’t invlude it. The one unhinged theory I don’t mention ends up being true, huh? Well, there’s that. Not much else to say, if you're deep into DRDT lore you already know the implications of a bloody fork.

-

And… that’s about that! Although I had quite a few comments to make and things to add, actual corrections were few and far between, which I’m happy about! Mind you, there's probably a few Vivisection statements here and there I'm forgetting about, but still. Hope you enjoyed this little corrigendum, and if you made it this far, you deserve your own Jupiter-Levi to defend you in your time of need! See you later!

[mitchellpete]

Firsts

summary: You’re bad at playing hard to get, and you don’t want to let the opportunity slip. Maverick gives you your first motorcycle ride.

pairing: pete “maverick” mitchell x gn!reader

tags/warnings: maverick being flirty, shy!reader but also not really?, some drinking mentioned, overall fluff

word count: 1.4k

A/N: i feel terrible that i keep making excuses not to post so i'll let you guys have this one. i don't know who's still on top gun tumblr but i hope you guys are still around. and that you guys like this! it was supposed to be a drabble but..?? ANDDD one more thing: my request page has updated also!

-

“Wait, you’ve never been on a bike before?”

“I’ve been on a bike. I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”

Maverick scoffs and then cocks a brow, a smirk tugging at his lips in his frail attempt at reading you, or at least pretending he knew you.

Except he doesn’t, because out of the many outings at the bar, tonight had been the first time he’d spotted you. You were ashamed to admit that it was kind of flattering having him follow you around for a good half an hour, even after you locked eyes with mustache Hawaiian shirt blonde guy across the room. Ah, it was all a game. But God, was Maverick pretty. And charming. You couldn’t decide whether you were bad at playing hard to get or if you simply didn’t mind being the game.

(It was definitely the former.)

Panic filled you later that night when you watched him slip his jacket on on the opposite side of the room. He was still distractedly rambling with his friend, however, and you took the opportunity to push past at least 5 people and make it out of the door before he did. 

What to say or do the moment he stepped out? Your head was empty. But hey, he’d see you out there, make another flirtatious comment, make you blush and then it’d go on from there, right? God, please. 

This had to have been like the fourth time you’d seen him. He was most certainly the prettiest out of all the aviators that confidently waltzed into the bar every time you and your friend met for drinks. 

Miramar. A lovely place, truly. 

Beautiful, too. The sunset is beginning to form, and you step towards the wooden fence separating the sand from the small parking lot in front of the building. A packed bar, only a few vehicles. You wonder if any of them belong to Maverick. You pray that he walks this way at all.

The beach in front of you is littered with people, families, couples. There is chatter everywhere, drowning out the sound of the bell on the door behind you, or the sound of his voice if he happens to be walking out, talking to his friend.

That’s why when you eventually zone out maybe a good ten minutes later, you don’t notice that he’s already walked past you, striding towards the vehicle closest to you. The motorcycle. Red, black, adorned with decals that match the patches on his pretty jacket. You wish you’d noticed. 

He’d certainly noticed you, watching you avoid his gaze as he swung a leg over and took a seat. “Going for a swim?”

FUCK.

Tongue in your cheek, you meet his eyes. “No. I.. needed some air. Where’s your friend?”

“Where’s yours?” A cheeky smile spread on his face as he reached for the handles. 

Oh, he’s sooooooo—

“Inside. I’m uh, actually waiting for another friend right now. She’s picking me up soon, I think.” Lies, lies, lies.

“In a car?” 

“On a motorcycle, actually. How fast does yours go?” Jesus Christ. You know nothing about motorcycles, by the way.

He leans slightly forward, intrigued by your response. “Faster.”

“Hm.” You glance out at the shoreline again, at the sun turning bright orange. You feel the warmth on your cheeks. Stupid. You’re playing hard to get again, for fuck’s sake. He’s too pretty, it makes you nervous. 

Lucky for you, he breaks the tense feeling in your stomach with a laugh. “Actually?” 

He sticks the key into the ignition, filling you with the slight panic from before that he’s slipping away.

You fake a snicker, although it comes out dry and humorless. “I’m kidding. I don’t know a thing about motorcycles.”

The sudden rev of the engine startles you, and he smiles. “Some people are just meant to look pretty on the back of ‘em, I think.”

There was already a warmth to your cheeks, but now it’s heat. “Well.. that sounds like fun.”

Furrowed brows. “Wait, you’ve never been on a bike before?”

You snicker again, this time for real. “I’ve been on a bike. I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”

Maverick scoffs and then cocks a brow, a smirk tugging at his lips in his frail attempt at reading you, or at least pretending he knew you. Playfully rolling his eyes, he revs the engine again and waves you over with his hand. “Come on.”

Your face falls. A different kind of panic. “Huh?”

“Just a quick ride. Before your friend gets here.”

“A-are you sure?” 

“You’re scared?” He grins.

“I—No. I just..” You hesitantly make your way over, your legs suddenly weak. “I drank a little, so I don’t—”

“Can you relax?” He laughs again, his laughter as pretty as he is. “It’s not scary, I promise. Here, step on that part. Just hold onto me and hop on.” He points down below and then sticks his arm out for you to grab.

“I’m not scared,” you mumble as you manage to perch yourself on the space behind him, careful not to grip his arm too tight. “I think you’re a little strange, is all.”

 “How so? You gotta hold onto me, sweetheart.” Another engine rev. What is his deal?

You lean forward as much as you can, pressing yourself to him and wrapping your arms around his middle. The seat behind his is slightly raised, and your face absentmindedly presses into the back crook of his neck. It’s too late to pull back when you realize, and the heat in your cheeks starts to burn. Nevertheless, you go through with your accusations.

“Well,” you begin, conscious of your voice as to not be loud in his ear. “You follow me around the bar for some stupid bet, and.. now you’ve forced me onto your bike.”

Ha. As if you hadn’t planned all of this. Sort of.

Another pretty laugh. “It’s a motorcycle,” he mocks you. 

That gets a laugh out of you, squeezing your arms around him a bit as he starts to move. 

“Although, I do have to say—” He halts, a foot firm on the ground, and turns to look you over his shoulder. “Out of anybody I’ve followed around the bar, you’re the only one I’d give a ride to.”

God. You think you’re already in love with him. “That so?”

He presses his lips together and nods, fake serious. 

Pressing your forehead to the back of his jacket, you chuckle. “I guess that means I owe you something.”

“I’ll start driving on one condition,” he offers, his tone playful.

“Hm?”

“Give me a kiss.”

Oh boy. It’s easy by now; you’re already melting into him. Glancing up, your surroundings become a blur and all the outside chatter, the bell on the door and the sound of the other cars go completely silent as you lean your neck to reach. It’s a peck, but it’s complete; all of your lips feel the soft skin of his cheek, plump from a smile under your kiss. And then your chin goes to rest on his shoulder, and next thing you know, you’re off. 

There’s suddenly wind; you weren’t prepared for your hair to flow, as he took off from the parking lot and immediately down the road.

You’re clinging onto him with all your might, maybe a little scared for a moment, but then it starts to feel nice. You don’t even recall the moment he’d slipped his aviators on; perhaps the little kiss you gave him left you in awe instead of vice-versa, or maybe it was the drinks you’d had earlier? Maverick says something but you barely hear it, your stomach fluttering in excitement as he swerves between cars to get out of their way, to fly by beyond them on the road and to make the moment about just the two of you. Nobody else on the road. 

He turns onto a different road, this one longer and less crowded, and you squeal as he starts going faster. A euphoric feeling overtakes you, and even in the wind, through the sound of the engine and Maverick’s muffled voice, you’re convinced you can’t let him slip away after this one either. 

“Maverick!”

Wind, wind, wind. The engine.

Tapping a hand on his side instead, you catch his attention. He slows down just a bit, momentarily glancing over his shoulder again before looking back at the road. 

“You wanna stop?” he yells.

“No!” you shout back. “I just wanted you to know something!”

“What is it?!”

You lean closer to his ear, face in the crook of his neck again. “I was lying! There is no friend!”

He grins. “I know!”

[larrylimericks]

23Mar23

We’re feeling some internal friction At silver screen Louis’ depiction; All the world is a stage But it’s hard to engage When plot lines combine fact and fiction.

I get really rambly below the fold. Proceed with caution if you’re over the discourse already.

I debated seeing All of Those Voices in theaters. I didn’t see either of Harry’s films in theaters — Harries are too much of a wildcard, and I refused to sit through hours of squeals and gasps and reactions, not to the movie but to “omg! Harry’s going down on someone! omg, Harry’s bum!” So I was already tentative about seeing Louis’ film in a shared space, outside the protective silos of tumblr. But I bought a ticket, because I want to support him and because I was genuinely curious what story would be told. Then we got the trailer and I hesitated again, not wanting to watch a propaganda film. But, I’ve lived through all the other Bullshit moments, so I figured I could live through Bullshit on the big screen.

My theater crowd was great — pretty neutral aside from an amusing row of politely excitable Larries I was in secret solidarity with. And I pretty much loved the film. Well, 92% of it. I look forward to watching it again when it streams. I mean, it was an hour and a half of content featuring this fascinating creature we’re all obsessed with. I didn’t want to blink. I hung on his every word (when I could understand them). How cool to get, essentially, a long-form interview, where he’s not promoting an album and we’re not getting the same sound bytes. Louis is wonderfully open and vulnerable, and the story of his life (heh) is inherently compelling. The cinematography is beautiful. The behind-the-scenes are delightful and delicious. I can’t wait for the AOTV gif sets once we have it in high-def.

But it has some plot holes as wide and deep as the ones in Don’t Worry Darling.

First, there’s the confusing (to the uninformed) absence of a love interest. Louis is asexual, as far as the film goes. There’s not even a ghost of Eleanor, with whom he’s cumulatively spent a decade and who is supposed to have inspired so many great love songs and with whom he is supposed to have survived a pandemic. Props to E for living her best life now: going to see Scream on AOTV opening day, enjoying full custody of the pups, publicly supporting her assumed partner — sorry you got Kiki Layned from the film, but I’m guessing you weren’t even written into the script. (It’s not like the film was conveniently re-edited in the months since their break-up. Her stunt tapering was intentional.)

Then there’s the glaring absence of a baby mama (thank god; that family would have been even more insufferable). We’re cruising along for 45 minutes or so and then, wham, Dad!Louis enters the chat with a fully formed 6-year-old child. The kid just magically appears with no backstory — just like in real life ... twice (the first time with the pregnancy announcement and the second time with the revival of Dad!Louis after several years of dormancy, right in time for documentary filming. Just like Harry stunted with his co-star during filming and production, Louis stunted with his.)

The kid is cute, and faultless in this. The scenes are objectively sweet (as they were designed to be). But Louis, who normally keeps things very close to the vest, is all of a sudden an emotional spigot you can’t turn off when it comes to these scenes. It seems quite out of character. Which brings back to mind that this Louis *is* a character. The Freddie scenes just didn’t seem to have a point in the plot other than: Louis is a dad. And that role isn’t integral to the film’s story.

He’s incredibly emotional with Freddie, but the movie doesn’t tell us why. The storytelling gets lazy here. The lad/dad plot seems wedged in. The movie would be perfectly complete without it. I felt like it could have been integrated a few different ways: Louis experienced tragedy after tragedy after tragedy — loses 1D, loses his mum, loses his sister ... and then impending fatherhood either becomes another trial he must reluctantly face (in the surprise pregnancy narrative) or it helps him navigate the grief of losing his sole parent, his closest confidante. OR, Louis, not wanting to be like the absentee father he had, shows up for his own oopsie baby despite the unexpected circumstances. But there’s no exposition or rising action. No footage or photos from the first few years of the kid’s life that we haven’t already seen. Just an immaculate conception.

I think the most compelling narratives of the film are these:

Louis’ overcoming adversity after adversity after adversity. Holy hell. I lived through 1D ending, through the devastating news about Jay (god, I remember the shock and sadness of that day — it was incomprehensible), through the heartbreaking news about Fizzy, and then when you think Louis is gonna get his moment of victory with his first solo world tour, coronavirus pulls the rug out. (That sequence was well done: where we keep seeing the dates get closer and closer to March 2020, and we all know the villain that’s coming, but it’s still such a blow.) I lived through all that in real time, but seeing it in such a concentrated sequence really highlights the shit he’s been dealt, and hearing him open up about so much of it ... that’s the character development relevant to the film’s denouement. And getting to see Louis get what he deserves, finally, and hearing him acknowledge that he deserves it, was a lovely ending.

Louis’ journey to find his footing and his confidence as a solo artist after unfathomable success as part of a group. But, in a sort of plot twist, he’s not really solo, is he? The film gives a lovely introduction to his band now — and in their own words, reveals that they’re not just a backing band, they’re a *band* band. Louis has let them in. He’s forged a new brotherhood. *That*, for me, was the heartwarming story. I loved those scenes, loved seeing Louis in his element, which is in a collective, where he is both king and jester at the same time. (Or perhaps Oli’s the jester. Thank fuck for him, man. Oli is the standout. The breakthrough performance. The comic relief. I want a spinoff series.) It’s easy to miss 1D and glorify those short years and think nothing will ever top it, but Charlie’s storytelling of the LT Band is remarkable. We’re left looking forward, not back.

I know Louis’ dedication to his fans and his fans’ dedication to him is a huge focus, but I don’t really enjoy watching commentaries on fandoms I’m a part of. I’m living it. I don’t need outsider context. And in a fandom as fractured as Louis’ (and 1D’s) there’s not a universal experience. The film depicts dedication as sleeping on streets for rail, hopping from country to country and draining bank accounts — because that’s the kind of “superfandom” that gets easily turned into a marketable freak show. Show me the documentary on the fans who organize the light projects, who run the fashion accounts, who curate livestream sources on show nights, who have turned giffing into an art and science, who help promote Louis in the absence of a competent marketing team, etc., etc. I also thought the interview with the American(?) girls talking about LATAM shows was shortsighted. And showing the rainbow factions but not addressing them? What a missed opportunity to talk about songs like Only the Brave becoming a queer anthem. Straight artists can have gay fans, you know.

But the film doesn’t make the kid relevant to any of those storylines. He could have been worked into the first, but wasn’t. It was like a standalone narrative, with footage from a narrow set of days. I was at both those L.A. shows. The energy was so different from night 1 to 2. And in retrospect it’s clear Louis was performing the first night so Charlie could get the right shots. More like a choreographed play than a rock concert. It makes sense now why the Clarks weren’t in the VIP box with Freddie — couldn’t have them cluttering the frame or distracting the actors. Just, everything about the Freddie scenes is heavy-handed. Make a sign for your dad! Draw his logo in the sand! Fly a kite at sunset! He’s the spitting image of Louis! (Len does all the heavy lifting.) And all the maneuvering it had to take to get all those shots from the L.A. show?! In the VIP box from behind (and from the front, and when he just happens to be mouthing along to Two Of Us), side stage watching Louis end the show, on-stage watching Louis approach Freddie after the show, on-stage catching the moment Louis gives the lad a shout-out ... Charlie had a shot list. But sure, nothing was set up, it was totally organic.

I’m still unsettled by how heavily Charlie laid it on at the first premiere press conference — *he* was the one to bring up the kid, and was weirdly emphatic that nothing was staged, nothing was forced. It had the same energy of the “It’s. Not. Real” thrown baby doll moment, only it’s Charlie insisting that It. Is. Real. Thou dost protest too much, me thinks.

And of course, the lack of interaction between Louis and Harry remains, as ever, the biggest tell. We get poignant post-1D Nouis and Lilo moments in the film, but no Larry. We’re spoon-fed these Very Emotional Moments between father and son (“love you,” “Darling,” mouth kisses), when the real story, the real emotion, the real connection is in just a few seconds of furtive glances between Harry and Louis in the backstage footage of the last 1D performance. Christ, the way Harry’s eyes bore into Louis — chin tilted down, eyes glancing up from beneath a furrowed brow, lips tight, disguising his attentiveness with a hair flip ... they mastered so many forms of silent communication. The quiet call and response, the depths of love and care and concern and protection contained in micro-expressions. Fuck, give me 90 minutes of that. Just a silent film of Louis and Harry looking at each other.

Anyway. Sorry this sounds so grumpy. I did really love most of the movie. But I haven’t made sense of why this film was made. I don’t know its purpose. Maybe the introspection forced by the pandemic lockdown is to credit for this glut of music docs (“docs”) lately. Maybe nine minutes frees him up for nine more months or nine more years. I dunno. He obviously wanted this story told in this way.

Seeing a movie requires the willing suspension of disbelief. You have to ignore critical thinking in order to enjoy the story you’re being told. You tune out your knowledge that everything is fake for the sake of being entertained. We know that Superman can’t actually fly, but we still buy tickets to the cinema. But, a documentary shouldn’t require us to employ this semi-conscious perceiving mode. Yet here we are. I’m just not sure how much more or how much longer we can suspend our disbelief to enjoy fandom.

[erikwiese]

SONIC PRIME "AVOID THE VOID" STORYBOARD COMPARISON

Inspired by what some of my colleagues have posted to Tumblr and IG, I’ve put together this side-by-side comparison of my Sonic Prime storyboards and the final animation. This clip is the climactic ending to “Avoid The Void,” an episode I’m particularly proud of. It’s the first one of Season Two, where Sonic and Shadow finally meet in the Shatterverse. It’s the moment their storyline, which started in Season One, connects and leads to a vicious no-holds-barred punk rock brawl!

I wasn’t supposed to direct this episode, as I had already moved on to direct a Peanuts special for Apple+ (though continued as EP on season two, but not on season three), but this episode fell into my lap due to a glitch in the schedule. So it was Peanuts by day, Sonic by night, with three weeks to build the animatic with the storyboard team. Because we had half the time we usually have, we kept our boards rough, rarely tying down a drawing. Anyway, what’s the point of doing tight drawings when it’s going to be CG, right?

Below, a still from act three of Avoid the Void, when Sonic blasts out of the Ghost World/Ghost Green Hill.

From the early stages, when Man of Action was breaking out this episode, it was clear that this one had the potential to be something big and cinematic. Set in the surreal world of the Shatterspace, it combined weighty emotional drama with intense action. At long last, it was also the big Shadow episode that fans had been patiently waiting for!

The photo below is a screen-cap from a Zoom record of Sonic Prime's "Avoid The Void." All the voice actors are Canadian. While Duncan (one quarter of Man Of Action) and I are in Los Angeles. Seen here are (left to right) Devon Mack, Erik Wiese, Duncan Rouleau, Andrew Duncan, James Corrigall, and Ian "Shadow" Hanlin. 

Below are some storyboard panels I drew from the opening sequence from Avoid The Void. I had to add spot color because I wanted to give the feeling of the void and also because of the different colors of the gateways.

I hope you enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at Sonic Prime.

P.S. A shout-out to the hugely talented STORYBOARD TEAM and ANIMATION CREW! You guys rock!

[livin-like-larry413]

What is happening in the COD fandom? Who is celebrating??

This user has all the info you need. They took the time out of their days to gather as many resources as they could to try and find her, hopefully before anything bad had happened, but in the end made sure she was found and was there for the victims family. It’s devastating hearing about such a tragic loss, no matter where it you hear of it, but it’s especially heartbreaking when you learn of it being—once again—due to butthurt, immature, childish-minded people on the internet that think they’re entitled to spew hatred just because they see someone make a post they disagree with.

My heart breaks for her family, and I can’t imagine the devastation they’re going through, and I am disgusted with the people who were practically swarming this woman to attack her for truly no other reason at all, besides “because they could”. And because I know how vile people who do this shit online are, those that haven’t been caught yet are celebrating.

The minority of this fandom that thinks this kind of backwards, hateful mindset about what they view as “okay” to say to people, regarding literally anything to do with fandom that they disagree with, is disgusting and shameful to the people in the fandom like @sheheal and everyone else who tried to reach out and help @codslut. The people that hid behind their screens, who tormented and mentally tortured that poor woman for having a different view of a character than they did, should be ashamed of themselves for what they have done, but majority of them, if they can be found will likely have nothing to say other than something along the lines of“It wasn’t that serious” and “Well, it’s not my fault”. I’ve seen it enough times to know.

I’m upset it took me this long to know of it, but since I’m not even a cod fan to begin with and I was still able to find out about it, says everything about how serious this issue in fandom is becoming. It should NEVER get to this point, especially not from a lighthearted nsfw image post that people saw and got upset that the character Gaz wasn’t in. That is batshit, idiotic behavior, and is never okay.

I’ve been in fandom spaces and apart of fandom communities for 15 years, more than half the time I’ve been alive, and never in my life have I seen a fandom become so twisted so quickly as I have with CoD, and my god, have I been in some twisted fandoms. I am honestly truly speechless, disgusted and I am livid.

You can disagree with headcanons and image posts all you fucking want, but the second you start telling someone to end their life because they don’t pay attention to a certain character you like, or they don’t view the character the same way you do—you are a vile human being, and should no longer be allowed on the internet, because you have proven that you are not and have never been an adult.

You control your own internet experience. Interact with what you like. Block what you don’t. It’s that easy. Blocklists (where you omit things from your experience on the internet, and you don’t ever have to see again after submitting it) exist for a reason, and should be utilized more. Tumblr has them, has had them since it was created, and they’re limitless. If you see hate such as the likes of what’s happened recently, speak up on it and make sure it gets spread and known for what it is. Expose the toxicity in the situation as soon as possible and make the person spreading it be held accountable, if you’re able to. There’s enough hatred in the world already, and fandom is supposed to be a place you can go and experience joy.

Long story short, a lesson that somehow still needs to be stated: If you don’t like something you see—block it. Grow the fuck up, and mind your own fucking business. Keep your negativity to yourself. If it’s something you know is truly hurtful, speak up on it, but be respectful. Never be someone’s final straw that ends in their loss.

[choicesflashfics]

Here is the list of prompts for the Choices Flashfics Holiday Prompt event, running from now through January 7th! 

Guidelines:

The fic can be no more than 2500 words. Word count must be present.

The prompts must be used exactly as they are except if you need/want to change “Christmas” in any of the prompts to another winter holiday that you/your character(s) celebrate, you may do so. (some already give an option, but you can choose any winter holiday that fits your story, or just “the holidays” is fine too)

Any of the prompts used must be bolded. Please put in your A/N which prompt(s) you’re using and specify if they are from the holiday prompt list and/or the weekly prompt list. 

Use proper warnings/tags for the fics if they require any (nsfw, etc.)

Tag @choicesflashfics when you post and your fic will be reblogged. If your fic isn’t reblogged within 48 hours of posting (because we all know how tumblr tags are wonky sometimes), send a message with the link. 

Post your holiday fic(s) by Saturday, January 7th (11:59 EST)

You can post as many holiday flashfics using as many of the holiday prompts from the list as you want during the duration of the event. You can combine the prompts with the weekly flashfics prompts if you’d like and/or use them with other ongoing Choices events. Any fics submitted will be linked in that respective week’s weekly fics post, and a special post containing all submitted holiday fics will be posted Sunday, January 8th. I hope these lend some inspiration if needed! 

❄️happy holidays and happy writing❄️

Tags: @aallotarenunelma @ao719 @bebepac @blackcatkita @burnsoslow @charlotteg234 @choicesfanaf @choiceskatie @choicesmonthlychallenge @dcbbw @debramcg1106 @delightfullysweet @emkay512 @foreverethereal123 @jerzwriter @katedrakeohd @neotericthemis @niaellariious @ofpixelsandscribbles @peonierose @phoenixrising0308 @polishchoicesfan @queenrileyrose @sfb123 @sincerelyella @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight @txemrn @writing-not @zaffrenotes

(If I’ve missed anyone, I’m so sorry. Please let me know if you’d like to be added. If I’m unable to activate your tag, I will try to reach out in the comments!)

1. “Stop trying to get me to walk under the mistletoe.”

2. “That should be our Christmas card this year.”

3. “You’d make a cute elf.”

4. “I thought you were going home for Christmas/the holidays.” -> “Well, I couldn’t leave you all alone.”

5. “Who decorated your tree? A toddler?”

6. “See? I told you running in the snow at midnight was fun!”

7. “This is the first time I’m spending the holidays with someone I actually like.”

8. “Did you break into my house?” -> “You refused to put up any Christmas decorations! What choice did I have?”

9. “I’m really nervous to meet your family …”

10. “You’re getting coal this year.”

11. “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.”

12. “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.”

13. “My secret Santa got me a trash can.” -> “Mine got me a half-eaten bag of chips and a tube of chapstick.”

14. “You. Me. Snowman. Now.” 

15. “I’m a grown adult. I don’t want to take a picture with Santa Claus.”

16. “I dare you to run through the snow … naked.”

17. “Look, there’s mistletoe. We have to kiss, it’s the law.”

18. “If you throw that snowball, you’re declaring war.”

19. “You’re kidding, right? You’re not going out in that snowstorm!”

20. “You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas/New Year’s alone, did you?”

21. “It looks like Santa threw up in here.”

22. “Have I told you how much I hate Christmas shopping?”

23. “There’s a snowstorm. I guess we’re stuck in here together until it passes.”

24. “My only resolution is to love you even more next year.”

25. “There’s no need for gifts when your presence is already a present.” -> “That was adorably cheesy.” 

26. “Hey, if we don’t find someone by midnight … you and me … maybe?” -> “Ask me properly and I just might consider it.”

27. “But it’s Christmas/New Year’s Eve … you’re supposed to be here with me.”

28. “You’ve never been kissed under mistletoe?”

29. “Well, here I am. Making your Yuletide gay.”

30. “Look, couples Christmas sweaters!”

31. “Joke’s on you. I’m already on the naughty list.”

32. “Aw, look at you pretending to be Santa for the kids.”

33. “I made you some hot chocolate.”

34. “I’ll be home in time for Christmas, I promise.”

35. “Christmas brings up bad memories for me.”

36. “Looks like you got a little drunk off the eggnog, hm?”

37. “Let’s go sledding!”

38. “Christmas lost its special side to me a long time ago … but you’ve brought some of that magic back.”

39. “Don’t feel bad … you didn’t completely ruin Christmas dinner. There’s still this … Jell-o stuff.”

40. “Christmas is so close, I can almost smell the mistletoe I’m never going to get kissed under.”

41. “Parent hack: wrap empty boxes, and whenever your kid misbehaves, throw the box into the fire.”

42. “I cannot believe our car broke down in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve!” 

43. “My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on.”

44. “You are impossible to shop for!”

45. “What do you mean you don’t want to go sledding?”

46. “I swear to god if you sing another damn Christmas carol …” 

47. “You know, when you said ‘Christmas party,’ this isn’t what I was expecting.”

48. “Come on, just wear the Santa hat for a little bit. Please?”

49. “I feel like there’s more frosting on you than the gingerbread.”

50. “Should you ever need a family to spend the holidays with, there’s always room for one more in my/our house.”

51. “I never had any special tradition for the holidays while growing up.” -> “So, how about we start our own?”

52. “I don’t know if the champagne has me seeing stars, but you look more beautiful than ever right now.”

53. “Your nose is red from the cold. You look like a cute little reindeer.”

54. “I know you said you didn’t want any gifts, but I want to spoil you, so deal with it.” 

55. “You’re always welcome to stay at my place for Christmas if you can’t find a hotel.”

56. “Us cramming into your childhood twin bed is definitely not how I would have imagined spending Christmas Eve at your parents’ place.”

57. “What do you mean? I think this snowman looks exactly like you!”

58. “Lift me up so I can put the star on the tree.”

59. “Ice-skating? Do you seriously trust me with knives on my feet?”

60. “This gingerbread man is me. This one is you. And I know the house looks wonky, but I promise our future home will be better than this!”

61. “Ho, Ho … oh?”

62. “Did you get us matching PJs?”

63. “Are you eating cookies right now? It’s 3 am.” -> “If Santa can do it, so can I.”

64. “The roads are getting really bad. Maybe you should stay here tonight.” 

65. “Get inside before you freeze to death!”

66. “Let’s just stay in today and watch Christmas movies.”

67. “What’s wrong? Do you not like your gift?”

68. “How about you, me, and some hot chocolate by the fireplace?”

69. “I kind of got too drunk at this Christmas/New Year’s party and I need you to come pick me up …”

70. “Someone bit all of the heads off of the gingerbread people!”

71. “Most wonderful time of the year, my ass.”

72. “Guess who signed us up to go Christmas caroling?”

73. “We’re not going anywhere. We’re snowed in.”

74. “That is the saddest looking tree I’ve ever seen.” 

75. “Look at all the couples using the cold as an excuse to cuddle. It’s gross.”

76. “Great! Now I have to re-hide your gifts.”

77. “Looks like there’s still one more present under the tree …” 

78. “I thought we agreed to not exchange gifts this year?”

79. “I’m freezing! Let me steal your warmth!”

80. “We cannot put this photo on our Christmas card!”

81. “The only thing I want for Christmas is you.”

82. “Are you even tall enough to put the star on the tree?”

83. “Well done. You just ruined Christmas.”

84. “You said not to buy you any gifts, so I made you one instead.”

85. “Hey! No peeking!”

86. “Wait, did you spike the eggnog/hot chocolate?”

87. “Seriously! I told you that you would get sick going out like that!”

88. “I mean, I knew you had Christmas spirit, but this is ridiculous.”

89. “This has been the most memorable Christmas I’ve ever had.”

90. “Wait, you mean this whole time, you hated peppermint?”

91. “Tis the season, I guess.”

92. “What are you doing?” -> “Making a snow angel, duh.” 

93. “Would you stop eating all of the popcorn! It’s supposed to go on the tree!” -> “But I’m hungry! And who puts popcorn on a tree anyway?”  

94. “Don’t be such a grinch!” 

95. “New Year’s Eve was supposed to be fun! Instead, we ended up in a jail cell! And it’s all your fault!”

96. “Why do you get so grumpy during Christmas time?”

97. “Throw the snowball like you mean it!”

98. “It’s freezing out here! Please open the door!”

99. “Come play in the snow with me!”

100. “Almost everything that could have gone wrong did, but this was still the best Christmas ever.”

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART ONE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E1):

- Angel Crowley’s hair is so bright and curly! The shade feels more like his new post-apocalypse ‘do, which I find curious. New hair is obviously still much darker but it’s that more unnatural shade of red that could be very bright indeed under the right lighting.

- Aziraphale trying to soften angel Crowley up for his warning by complimenting the colors of the nebula first. People pleaser already, I see.

- The opening: that bit where they separate. They’re on the wrong sides. Then they move past each other to the right sides. Then they separate backwards to the wrong sides again, and that’s when the bridge between planets behind them breaks apart. Pretty obvious visual representation of where they end the season, but I do have to wonder about the emerging “they swapped again” theory and if this back and forth motion could be pointing to that.

- Initial analysis about Maggie: cute as a button, blonde, runs a shop of antiques not particularly useful or lucrative in the modern world, formal style of writing, accommodating to the people around her (perhaps to excess), vintage aesthetic all the way around: immediate thought is that of course she’s a mirror to Aziraphale the same way Newton Pulsifer is. Let’s see where it goes.

- I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS SPY EXCHANGE ON THE BENCH BEFORE SHAX SHOWS UP. Also why aren’t we talking about Shax more??? She’s a delight! The way she’s absolutely befuddled by how humans outdo her at her own job, the weird strained but sort of mentor/mentoree and also informant relationship she has with Crowley, how she is also probably one of the best dressed in Hell without the smell and blemishes and obvious animal aspect…she’s fascinating and I can’t wrap my head around her. Is she supposed to be a dragon? I could deffo see dragon.

- “What’s the point of it all?” Oh Crowley. So correct.

- His hair matches her dress. Significant that they match??

- Half rations of what???

- The correction of the peas. I weep. Has the air of all the times Neil has probably been corrected about it on tumblr and elsewhere for the bread in the book XD

- There are a lot of Statues of Liberty in Nina’s coffee shop. Why??

- Initial analysis about Nina: cool, collected, blunt, friendly but not familiar, hipster vibes, popular store and business model without being a model business owner, seems like she has it all together but has a pretty big lingering anxiety in the form of a controlling relationship: perfectly fine mirror for Crowley, like Anathema Device. Continuing to see where it goes.

- John Hamm’s befuddled face is the highlight of his performance for me, bc he has such a commanding gregarious menace for playing Gabriel and it’s weird to see it replaced for just…gregarious :P

- I know this is a horrifying moment but can we take a moment to just appreciate the comedy of Aziraphale seeing Gabriel’s whole bare bottom before realizing whose bottom it is? Gosh and the hug. So awkward. (THE JIGGLE)

- John Finnemore also excels at writing idiots. Jimbriel has John’s fingerprints all over it. The conversation is golden.

- This conversation with Michael makes much more sense now tbh but. Want to talk about it in full later, when we have all the information.

- I’ve noticed it since we got promos but: Jimbriel using the angel wing mug and Aziraphale using the blue teacups just…strikes me. Could be because he’s having tea and not cocoa. But still. Hmm. Interesting.

- Aziraphale’s immediate panic over knowing what it’s like to be close to a person. Hmm. Yes. Quite. (And a moment to enjoy Gabriel, even in some pretty extreme amnesia, knowing Aziraphale is safe and will help him. Not so much warm fuzzies over GABRIEL knowing that as it is Aziraphale getting to HEAR that from someone who should by all accounts not feel safe with him at all. Guardian instincts being validated. This won’t backfire.)

- Listen maybe it’s just because I watched the Barbie movie the night before I watched GO2 but all I’m thinking when seeing Jimbriel is that his Kenergy is off the charts. And I know that basically just means he’s at peak himbo performance but Kenergy feels more appropriate right now. More introspections there later, I think.

- Formulating a thought about the box, about how it has very prominent double red arrows and “this way up” on it…and the instructions were on the bottom. Something something Heaven/Hell Gabriel/Beelzebub symbolism?? Foreshadowing for The Final Fifteen Minutes, maybe for season 3 itself????

- “You’re funny. I love you.” UH HEY JIMBRIEL. JIM CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT. GUYS CAN WE JUST. DISCUSS THE LAYERS OF THAT. Not here, obviously, but at some point.

- The thing about writing an idiot is that they have exactly the wrong intelligence for the situation at hand. It makes them very funny. Even more so when their intelligence actually happens to be helpful.

- THE FLYYYYYYY

- Muriel!

- Oof. Sexy Bentley animations.

- “Now that I’m not reporting to Heaven” INGRAINED BEHAVIORS THAT NEED ADDRESSING, PERHAPS?

- I feel like we don’t talk about “six shots of espresso” enough. I realize it’s been like two days and there’s a lot going on but SIX. SHOTS. OF. ESPRESSO. CROWLEY. It expressly does not calm him down. Oh hey instrumental Bohemian Rhapsody!

- I paused just to fully take in the affronted look on Crowley’s face at “naked man friend” XD

- Crowley downs six shots of espresso in one go and then comes face to face with the exact being of his worst nightmare. No wonder he blows a literal lightning gasket.

- Aziraphale knows about Shax. Interesting.

- Ask him properly? Interesting turn of phrase. And Crowley leaps in immediately between them. Of course he does. Ask him properly meaning be threatening about it this time, I suppose?

- I. AM. DUSTING. ITS YELLOW. HHHHHGK.

- Crowley solution: get rid of the problem, run from it. Get away from it. Aziraphale solution: confront the problem, solve the problem, go charging into the helping of the problem. Hmm. Interesting.

- The whole “our exactlies are not the same exactly” IIIIINTERESTING.

- “I thought we carved it out for OURselves.” “SO DID I.” Y’all I cannot WAIT for the parallel gif sets. This conversation, the bandstand, the sidewalk, and The Final Fifteen Minutes. Phew. Knockout parallels.

- That was a surprisingly petulant lightning strike tbh

- Michael and Uriel sniping at each other. Somehow love it. BUT ALSO. This conversation has so many damn LAYERS now!! Heck!!!

- The floating armchair. Heck yeah.

- The distance between Muriel and the archangels, the way they talk down to her so thoroughly…heck.

- Like how the Resurrectionist matchbox has the skull and crossbones but also the Bible verse on the side. The two halves of the sign, brought together.

- MORE FLIESSSSSS

- Beelzebub’s tactic for trying to get Crowley to help find Gabriel is…interesting. I might have to make a whole separate post to analyze this scene. The matching chairs, the determined way Beelzebub’s pursuit of the hunt isn’t immediately suspicious, the flattery, but most importantly, it’s getting its own bullet point:

- The way Beelzebub shares the bit about Extreme Sanctions and how that is enough to flip Crowley’s Protect Aziraphale switch. He’s on the hook, because now there are actual stakes.

- I wonder, though, at how I didn’t immediately catch that Michael saying “anyone found HELPING him” was said. Anyone caught helping Gabriel. Why would helping an archangel be cause for Extreme Sanctions?? Surely it would be a good thing for anyone, even Aziraphale, to have kept a vulnerable Gabriel safe all this time. I’m chalking it up to first time watching excitement and sleep deprivation but huh. HUH.

- Anyway, back to Beelzebub; they immediately offer a reward to Crowley, a carrot instead of the stick. And Duke of Hell is on the table. Interesting. Weird. And their wording is anyone “involved in the affair.” Very slightly different context. Wouldn’t give away that Heaven is indeed on a manhunt (angel hunt?), but not for the exact reason you would expect.

- I wonder about the temporal implications of being erased from existence. And how this very serious and apparently mythological mode of punishment is coming back in season 3. Hmm. Hmm hmm hmm.

- Also Beelzebub’s “report to me first” I SEE YOU NOW

- Nina and Maggie’s lock-in is…hmm. The “no judgement” about drinking thing strikes me as something someone with a very religious upbringing would say to a friend who drinks. Bit clunky, lot condescending. Interesting way to get to a segue.

- Good old fashioned lover boy better have an amazing comeback next season XD

- LOVE seeing the onscreen effects for the text messages, love the way they’re like crumpled up notes, love the immediate energy that brings to this already suspicious relationship. Sigh.

- I knew “I’m back” had petty marital bickering energy from the trailer but I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH.

- Also brief moment of real sadness for how this is a rehash of “angel, I’m sorry, whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Good? Yes? Get in the car.” Just smoothing over the rough patch so they can move on rather than. Yknow. Talking about it and fixing it.

- Also notice how the apology dance doesn’t actually involve saying “I’m sorry.” It’s more an admission of the other person’s intellectual or moral superiority. Which is. Funny! But also. Sad!

- Jim. Jim you were just outside earlier. Jim please.

- I notice the “little” miracle is done over the portal to heaven. Hmm. I thought at first maybe Jimbriel’s latent archangel abilities were at play but I much prefer the “together Crowley and Aziraphale are super powerful without meaning to be” interpretation, because it makes The Final Fifteen Minutes make SO much more sense.

- The miraculous plume is pink <33333

- The inherent comedy of “nobody will notice a thing!” *BLARING ALARMS* XD reminds me of “he’ll have an enormous hellhound with him! He’ll be easy to spot!” *cut to Dog* from season 1 :P

- Okay, final thoughts on this first rewatch: yeah the foreshadowing and scene-setting is impeccable. Great energy. Loving it! Picking up on so much more tiny hints and clues! Missing God’s narration but it really says a lot, actually, that She isn’t there anymore. No Agnes Nutter book for guidance, no scriptural references to necessitate God’s voice being present…different flavor.

Okay! Might do episode 2 tonight, as well, but I have Things to do first! We will see!

[polizwrites]

PoliZ's WIP Update - 27 Mar 2024

Another slow week, but am generally pleased with my progress.  I touched  4 fics (2 new works & 2 WIPs) for a total of  1833  words.  

On Ao3, I posted: 

Chapter Seven of  My Love is Vengeance - ongoing WIP with young!Tony/bodyguard!Bucky vs Hydra.  

Treading a Rocky Road - platonic/pre-slash WinterIron ficlet.

On Tumblr I posted: 

 Fathers Don’t Know Best  - A No Powers AU meet-ugly-ish ficlet featuring angsty!drunk!Tony and SHIELD analyst!Bucky 

Untangling Their Attraction - a flirty, kinda sexy getting together WinterIron ficlet 

I’m juggling  17 😬 active/semi-active WIPs with my current  deadline being the Post July Break Bingo, which ends in April. 

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Stony AUniverse Bingo  [SAUB_R1] (ends 15 Feb)

Final count - twenty-one fills for five bingos - hoping this event comes back so I can carry over a couple of squares!   Masterpost STILL forthcoming….   

Captain (America) Bottom Bingo - Round 2 [CABB] (ends 28 Feb 2024)

Finally got my Masterpost done!  

Post July Break Bingo  [JBB_23p] (Ends Apr 2024)

Two fill on my  2x3 non-fandom-specific card - still working on  potential crossovers.

* A2 - "You knew?"  - matched this up with Chapter Three  of my Stony spyfic WIP -  Keeping All My Secrets Safe Tonight -  it’s coming in at 1079 words and after a bit more editing, should be posting this week or next.    

* B2 - Character’s personality is split into two different beings – I’ve never played with Bucky & the Soldier being two different people, but this seems like the perfect opportunity! Will see what might be a good crossover on one of my open cards.

*  C1 - Touch Starved – another good fit for a Bucky-centric fic. (Steve or Tony or Clint).

* C2 - “What are we?”  Pair up with  SRB C5 - Exes to Lovers ? 

Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 3 [SRB_R3] (ends  15 Jun 2024)

Thirteen fills and one WIP at the moment  - need to ponder other possible crossovers with my non-fandom cards & BaBB.  

* C5 - Exes to Lovers   see JBB “What are we?” above 

Bucky Barnes Connect Four - Alt Jun-iverse [BBC4_R2]  {Ends May 31 2024}

Another fun event from the good folks over at  @buckybarnesevents! You sign up for a single row card of four squares and the challenge is to see if you can combine any/all into a single Bucky-centric AU fanwork - although you can also create fanworks that are based on a single or combo of 2-3 squares if you want.  

The combo of prompts on my first card [Reality Show,  Omegaverse, Talent/Manager, Royalty] sparked an idea that I’m about 230 words + misc notes into already -  Alpha!Bucky as a technical prince   who gets talked into joining a reality show that is supposed to match him up with an omega… but there’s a twist!  Planning to pick this back up in the next week or so.  

Hawkeyes Bingo [HB_R2] {Ends TBD} 

Just signed up for this fun Tumblr event - got a 3x3 card and and am looking forward to creating more  Clint-centric content and trying my hand at a bit of  Kate Bishop fic as well!    

*A1 - Werewolf AU -  wrote Shooting for the Moon -  Werewolf!Bucky’s POV on the  second half of A Hairy Situation. It came in at 811 words and will get posted to Ao3 sometime in the next couple weeks. 

* A3 - Awkward Flirting – this might be a good entry into my first femslash fic with Kate/Yelena?    

C3 - "I've never been so humiliated in my life."  - filled this on Tumblr last Friday with A Shining Example.  Established WinterHawk where a training session goes embarrassingly wrong and  Clint gives Bucky a pep talk.   It crossed over with the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF243 Glitter and Blues] and will get posted on Ao3 before this event ends.  

Build-A-Bucky Bingo [BaBB_R1] {Ends Oct 2024}

Another fun year-long  event from the folks at  @buckybarnesevents!  Each month there’s a list of prompts and you choose (at least) one  each month for your card!

* November:  Crackfic - DONE  

* December: Wingman  - DONE

* January: Wingfic  - DONE

*January: Polyamory - DONE

* February: Fingering -  DONE

* February: Morning Sex - DONE

* March: Marriage of Convenience  - DONE

* March: Mutual Pining  -  DONE

* March: Bad Coping Mechanisms -  Posted Treading a Rocky Road to Ao3 this morning.  It’s a bit of platonic/pre-slash WinterIron bonding over a sweet treat as a crossover with a Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF244 Critical Ice Cream]   It came in at 437 words.

* March: Wrong Luggage - was also inspired to combine this with my WIB - I5 - A/B/O: Scent Bonding square to come up with a meet-cute/meet-ugly WinterIron one shot.  A Little Carried Away is coming in at 1200 words and will post this Friday.  

WinterIron Bingo Round 2  [WIB_R2] {Ends 16 Dec 2024}

Signups are still open for Round Two of this super-fun bingo event! I got my card  and already have four fills and three WIPs! 

* Iron Soldier (One Bingo, One Fill) - looking at combining my Column B prompts: Matchmaker, Bucky Riding Tony, Stark Gala, Inside Joke and Threesome.  Still working on a plot - if you have any suggestions/want-to-sees - let me know! 

* I2 - Hydra  - filled this with chapter Seven of My Love is Vengeance - ongoing WIP with young!Tony/bodyguard!Bucky vs Hydra.  It came in at 1106 words and posted last Friday.

*I4 - SHIELD HQ - combined this with last week’s Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF245 You Never Cared] and wrote Fathers Don’t Know Best  -  No Power AU with Bucky working as an analyst at SHIELD who stumbles across a late night visitor to the lobby.  It’s coming on at 407 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends.  

* I5 - A/B/O: Scent Bonding - See BaBB March: Wrong Luggage above. 

* N1 - Hair Pulling Kink -  thanks to a fun prompt from @scottx  - I filled this square with Untangling Their Attraction - where Tony’s offer of assistance leads to mutual kink discovery (not as racy as it might sound).  It’s coming in at 544 words and will post to Ao3 before this event is over. 

* G3 - Surprise Phone Call  - Posted Chapter Seven of  A Sugar-Coated Pill  last Friday.  Alpha!Bucky/omega!Tony Sugar Baby AU where Tony got some consequential  news. It came in at 1339 words. 

* O2 - Couch Cuddles - planning to fill this with Chapter 8 of A Sugar-Coated Pill which is currently sitting at  177 words.  Hoping to crossfill with an Alpha Bucky April prompt! 

* O4 - Hotel Room - filling this with Chapter 8 of My Love is Vengeance which is currently sitting at 907 words and will up the rating to Explicit.  (Looking forward to April’s BaBB prompts for potential crossfilling!) 

Warm and Fluffy   Bingo  [WFB]   (no end date)

Four  fills on my card, courtesy of   @warmandfluffybingocards  - need to try for another crossover or two!

————

On  other creative fronts:  I am working on a Frankenstein  figure for  an upcoming con.  I’ve finished all my  Marvel Trumps Hate  figures, but still need to create posts (and mail one set). 

If  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[devilsrolldice]

The reality if ‘The Winchesters’ fails:

So I’ve seen a lot of discourse surrounding The Winchesters the supernatural prequel series and I have decided to put in my two cents because why not. For reference I have a degree in marketing and public relations and took multiple media studies courses while I was in college. If you needed some reason to take my word on this topic and know it has some legitimacy and that it’s not just an opinion piece.

The Winchesters has been controversial from its conception. I’ll be honest with you I wasn’t even interested in it when it first was announced. However the reality here is if it fails that’s it that’s the end of the supernatural universe. If you don’t want to watch it by all means don’t watch something you’re not interested in. But if you’re wishing for it to fail and crash and burn let me spell out the reality there for you.

If the prequel fails there will be no continuation no fix it, no empty rescue, no heaven break out. Well why? Well because we’re working with tv which is at its core a business. The CW and Warner Bros have invested a lot of money into The Winchesters and trusting CMP to give them a product that will be profitable. You often don’t get multiple chances with TV business. CMP is working directly with Warner Bros and The Winchesters is their first project. If The Winchesters fails and doesn’t bring in the money or viewership it’s supposed to it will not get picked up for the back half of their season and it will get cancelled. The network is not likely to continue to support a universe that didn’t make them money or a production company who’s first major project flopped. So you can kiss away your dreams of more supernatural projects.

Supernatural already has two spin offs (Bloodlines and Wayward Sisters) that got canceled before they could even start. Both of these coming during supernaturals initial run when supernatural was at its peak popularity. So a spin off prequel is a risk for a network that didn’t see viability in two past spin offs. But they do see it here. They do see potential and with a successful prequel we are opening up a whole world of possibilities within the supernatural universe. But if it fails and crashes and burns as so many people wish it to, that’s it. That’s the end.

Some of you might say: But If this fails can’t we just show them we want a different show in the supernatural universe? No. Simply the investors and higher ups are going to look at numbers and when they see numbers that don’t match their monetary projections they are going to abandon that universe completely and write it off as not profitable. They will move on to something else. And these investors won’t be looking at your tweets and tumblr posts saying oh we don’t want this we want something better. They will not care. This is a money game for them and they will put their time and energy into what makes them money. Jensen saying hate watch it wasn’t completely a joke. The numbers are what matter to the network not the reasoning behind watching or not watching.

This is the ground we need to build off of to get to where we want to end up. If you want a future for the Supernatural universe and want the possibility for a finale fix it, for a empty rescue, for a heaven breakout, this is where we need to start and it needs your support. We need The Winchesters to succeed. I’m writing this not to try to convince anyone who might not be interested but to explain to those of you wishing it’s downfall the ramifications of this failing.

-laur

[cafeinthemoon]

The Home I Crave - Chapter XVII

Chapter 17/?

Wordcount 1,8k

Title Cold

Fandom Naruto

Pairing Tobirama Senju X reader

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 .  7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warning (s): none

Tagging @uzumakgi (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message 😉)

N. A.: So… it's been a while lmao

I'm on a break from work and took this time to rest and organize some stuff that has been abandoned for months, including this story. This chapter brings a change in reader's perspectives, but not a clear confession. It's more of a deliberation, and that's why it's so short. Also I commented about it here on Tumblr, and I'm gonna repeat it here: there are some impacful things waiting for reader in the future, and these ideas have been with me for all this time I haven't wrote for this fic, and I'm happy that they will finally see the light of the day.

I apologize for leaving this story aside for this long, but I hope you enjoy this modest comeback :)

(Also I couldn't decide which GIF to use so let's have this charming one for now ❤🥰)

It was early in the morning and you woke up to find out you caught a cold.

A soreness in your throat was the first thing you sensed once you opened your eyes, but you were too tired to stand up and seek for water, and your head felt too heavy for you to move. You sighed: so that was what you gained for working so hard. You didn’t think you were so susceptible.

With effort, you turned to your side under the sheet only to have the unpleasant discovery of a running nose. The irritation overcame your exhaustion and you finally sat on the futon, standing there for minutes to prepare yourself and head to the bathroom in order to clean your nostrils...

But before you could do it, you heard the sounds of steps approaching your spot. The room was so quiet that you thought you were alone in it, but you looked up and found Tobirama approaching with some objects in hands. When he stopped and knelt beside the futon, you identified the things as paper towels and a cup with some steamy liquid of citric smell.

He bent down and gave you the items without a word. You mumbled a “thank you” and spent the next minutes alternating between the cup and the towels.

When you finally were able to speak, the first thing you said was all but unexpected:

- This is the worst moment for one to catch a cold – you grunted with your palms around the cup half full, your voice nothing more than a whisper – I can’t believe I’ve been long enough under the water to end up like this.

- To be fair, we’ve been spending long periods in the wild, including in wet territories – he crossed his arms – Your current condition is not entirely unexpected when we think of this.

You thought of asking why he didn’t seem to be as affected as yourself when you have been under the influence of the same weather, but after being with him for a while you could just suppose this endurance had something to do with the Senju blood, so you just nodded and said nothing.

You left the bed and went to the bathroom at last, washed your face and were going to take your things to prepare a hot bath. When you looked at your side, you noticed the bathtub was already full.

- I filled it and heated the water moments ago – Tobirama’s voice came from the bathroom’s door – It is better to check the temperature before entering it.

You looked from the tub to him, and then back to the tub. You went there and put your fingers in the water; it was still warm.

- It’s still good – and with a pause – Thank you.

He accepted it with a nod and was turning to leave, when you called him.

- Was it possible to find shelter and food for all the people who stood here? How are they going by now?

- They are trying their best despite the circumstances – the reply was categorical, as if he wasn’t surprised with the sudden change in the conversation’s direction at all – And yes, there are enough resources for all of them. The inn’s staff, Yoko-san and my Clones have been working on this since last night. Messages have been sent to the villages near, requesting supplies and help. Fortunately no one got sick, just tired. The children are the ones having the hardest time to understand the situation, but Yoko-san and the female workers are giving their mothers the necessary support.

You felt a twinge of discomfort when you heard that. So everyone was working to give the victims of the storm all they needed, including your husband, while you would have to stay in your room just because of a stupid cold. Great.

Again, Tobirama’s voice brought you back from your deliberations.

- Y/n-san. You do not need to tire yourself out thinking of this. You have done enough. Remember that it was your family’s jutsu that saved all those lives. If there is someone to whom they owe gratitude, it is you.

You stood up and crossed your arms.

- I know. Still…

A moment of silence and you shook the frustration aside, again changing the subject.

- And what about you?

He frowned.

- Me?

- Where did you sleep last night? – you shrugged – I know you’re used to wake up early, but after all of that you must be tired.

Knowing him the way you did, you weren’t shocked with the response you got: you didn’t even startle when he said he did not sleep.

- Yes, I am tired, but there was still work to do. My Clones have been helping the staff and the others while I’ve been here with you.

Well, that took a reaction out of you. You were sort of imagining that he would leave a Shadow Clone beside you and go work for the villagers in person, if he hasn’t decided to take a well deserved – and needed – rest, for creating and maintaining Clones was tiring to a certain point. However, after spending all that amount of chakra, he was still able to send new Clones to work and stood awake, taking care of you since you came back.

You approached the bathroom’s door and crossed it, passing by your husband. You went to your things and grabbed some clothing and soap. When you came back, you stopped before him. You silently thanked all the stuff you were carrying, so that he would never see your shaking hands: even after all those days traveling with him, your body still reacted that way whenever you got close.

You raised your eyes to his, facing their redness with all the courage you could gather in those few seconds.

- You should really take some rest. We still have some days on the road.

- I know. But I do not like the idea of leaving you without assistance while I sleep.

You startled at those words before you could stop yourself and gave him the fastest verbal reply you could think of before your face heated up.

- I’ll be fine! – and fearing that you have spoken too loud, – I’ll be fine, I promise. If you’re staying here, I can call you if I need something.

You thought you were going to find some resistance from his part, but he accepted your suggestion and left to give you privacy for the bath.

***

You took longer than usual to take off your clothes more because of some aching in your muscles than because of the headache, that only increased when you bowed your head. You raised your arms to brush and tie your hair up and hissed in discomfort and annoyance: you couldn’t believe you were that bad.

When you entered the tub, you had this sensation that the water was hotter than when you checked it with your hand. Were your hands too cold to mistake the temperature or weren’t you paying enough attention? You didn’t think it mattered, since the water seemed hot enough for you to stay in it for a long time.

Your limbs were all complaining since you left the futon, only relaxing when touched by the water. You stretched your legs as much as the tub’s width allowed you and rested your head on its edge, secretly grateful for the impossibility of leaving the room that day: you were really tired, as you haven’t been in a long time, and were yet to process the events of the last night. However, that was something you wouldn’t do right now. You just wanted to rest, despite sleeping for the entire night.

You sighed. You were so used to work hard that you didn’t sound like yourself that morning. But heavens, when was the last time you were forced to work to your limit? Well…

Have you ever been forced to your limit before?

If the answer was yes, you still had too much to improve. But you didn’t want to think of this right now; you wanted to get rid of this cold and continue your journey, reach your family’s home, see your sister. Your sister. How was she doing by now? You knew she was being well cared, yet your heart still ached with anxiety for her. This sickness, so sudden in a healthy girl like her. You just couldn’t accept it.

Slowly, your thoughts wandered towards your husband.

I do not like the idea of leaving you without assistance while I sleep.

You found yourself smiling at those words. Hearing them touched a new chord in your heart, one that you didn’t know about; it was the same when you saw him in action the night before, how quickly he memorized your hand seals and mastered your jutsu. There you had a truth you didn’t like to admit: Tobirama was stronger – and more skilled – than you. When you thought about this, you realized that if he wanted, he could just trap you and take you back to Konoha; in fact, he had countless chances to do so, still he decided to follow you in this failure of a travel. Not only this, but he has been taking care of you since the first day, giving you advice and even asking for your help – he who made it clear that working all by himself would always be his plan A.

Any other girl would be embarrassed or ashamed in your place, but you… You still didn’t know what was that feeling you had. No, you didn’t forget the reasons why you were there, why you tried to leave the Leaf Village in secret: he had his part in this. Still… he has been showing consideration towards you when you didn’t even ask for it. Was he trying to get something in return or was all of that some sort of punishment for you? No, it couldn’t be. You’ve met men like him before, so you knew they always had a hard time dissimulating; it wasn’t their style. And wasn’t Tobirama’s as well: the man would sweat honesty.

In this case... how hard it would have been for him to not talk to you about that letter, to keep your sister’s condition a secret from you?

You frowned and moved under the water, nervous with the new idea forming in your brain. Was it too soon to give him a chance and consider forgiveness, or were you being too stubborn by now? Well, all you knew was that if you were some foolish little girl, you would’ve already changed your manners towards him and forget all the events that preceded your departure from Konoha. But a shinobi would stay quiet and observe until they find out what they were supposed to do.

You sighed and continued your bath. Wait ad observe, that sounded good for you.

Let’s see what you got for me, Senju.

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[harbingerofsoup]

Chapter 123 (Words I Couldn't Say)

It’s rare that I can pinpoint a favorite chapter in a manga, but I’ve poured over this series like a religious scholar for about two years, so I can confidently state that my favorite is chapter 195. Yeah, I know that isn’t the chapter I’m supposed to be talking about, but I’m not going to lie for points. If you search irumeanie on tumblr, a good half of the posts that show up are mine, so there’s really no point in trying to make myself look better. However, I can also state, with equal confidence, that the most important chapter in the series (as of now at 262) is 123, when everything that Iruma had been repressing up to that point can’t be held back any longer and bursts free. I mentioned earlier that the Harvest Festival contains what I believe to be the most emotionally cathartic scene in the series, and this is what I’m talking about. Despite how expressive he is, Iruma really isn’t that open with his feelings. I’ve already discussed how Iruma lacked desire or ambition early on in the series, but there have been other similar incidents such as at Walter Park when it takes several pages for Iruma to understand he’s upset, indicating severe emotional repression. Overcoming this repression is Iruma’s first major step in his overall character arc, which occurs in this chapter (conveniently titled “words I couldn’t say”) meaning that by the end of the Harvest Festival he’s entered a new leg of his journey. And it shows. The Iruma we see post-Harvest Festival is fundamentally different than the one we see before. He voices his desires proudly and is even referred to as having bottomless greed, while retaining his kind nature, which is all possible because of this one chapter.

Orobas has a tricky ability. The initial illusion is bad enough, but the greater the opponent’s trauma is, the higher the likelihood is of having lingering effects in the form of more illusions. Both Jazz and Clara’s experience with Orobas’ illusions only last a few pages and just end with them shaken up. Iruma faces the illusions for almost the entirety of three chapters. After he falls from the shock of seeing his parents and hurting his leg, the illusion shifts, getting closer to his true fear. It starts with Asmodeus and Clara abandoning him for being human, accusing him of lying and basically saying that everything he did was fake. Next, it’s Kalego that appears and tells him that as a human, he doesn’t belong in the underworld. Then finally his grandfather and Opera-san enter, the two demons who originally knew about his identity, who rescued him and gave him the home he never had before. And just like the others, they send him back to his parents too. It’s not just one more illusion. He sees at least four, not counting the horrific monsters that the illusions eventually shift into. What Iruma is facing is 14 years of non-stop trauma with the added fear that the relief he only just got from it will be ripped away from him.

Trapped in his worst nightmare, Iruma is forced to confront the feelings he’s been trying to hide his whole life. He spent his whole childhood alone without any meaningful connections and was fine with it because all he could do was focus on survival. Reading between the lines, what Iruma is saying is that he convinced himself his feelings didn’t matter, and he did this for so long that even when he found a loving home, he subconsciously continued to keep his true emotions buried, hardly recognizing them in himself. But, faced with the prospect of losing everything he’s gained, of returning to that unending isolation, Iruma can’t stop himself from breaking his self-imposed rule.

“I’m lonely.” For all his complexity as a character, Iruma can be broken into just these two words. Everything he’s been repressing and everything that’s driven him thus far in the story is encapsulated by the intense loneliness he lives with, and it’s delivered in the two most heart wrenching panels. No amount of danger is going to make him give into despair, his defense is too well trained, but the threat of losing everything while completely isolated breaks him instantly. He could ignore it when he had nothing to lose, but now there’s so much he wants to hold onto that he can’t handle being alone again. And that brings us back to Iruma’s desire to belong. He voices this desire a few different ways, from embarrassing to grandiose, but the true feelings behind it boils down to what he say in that second panel. The sense of belonging he yearns for stems from his fear of being left behind, tragically demonstrated by the focus pulling out to show his curled form, looking tiny in the large open space. It’s shown that his parents left him alone all the time until they needed him again, so it’s only natural that from the very depths of his soul, Iruma would fear his newfound family and friends no longer wanting him, but he also feels like he shouldn’t voice this fear, which ended up amplifying that aching loneliness.

Ultimately though, this is a hopeful series, and one final illusion of Bachiko reminds Iruma of what he learned during his training. Technically, this panels are from chapter 124, but it’s a continuation of chapter 123, and the positive parts of this series are just as important to cover as the negative. It’s important that Iruma didn’t give into despair. He remembers his training as an archer, and that he can pierce through all his hardships, so he stands up even as he’s still in tears and his leg is killing him, because all he wants is to stay with the people he cares about.

<prev | next>

[ynscrazylife]

hi there! so i saw that you write about the mcu and dceu which is super cool bc i have this amazing idea of a story between me, the avengers, the guardians and the justice league (platonic ofc!) i was thinking about the three teams were preparing my birthday in a yard and while they are preparing everything, bruce banner is picking me up and him and i could get closer in a romantic way (mostly because he's my fav), and when i arrive everyone is suprising me and then we have a lot of fun 1/2

The Surprise Party | avengers, guardians, justice league fluff fic

Summary: Ignoring how they’re from different universes, the superheroes throw their friend an amazing surprise birthday party.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting & happy birthday!

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | DCEU Masterlist |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/gagalacrax on twitter

There was a reason why the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Justice League didn’t all get together: with that many superheroes, in one space, chaos was bound to break out. That chaos could be, quite literally, anything. From Iron Man challenging the Flash to an arm wrestling contest to Aquaman attacking Groot when he thought he was an enemy. Long story short, it just wasn’t a good idea . . . Until they found out that besides saving the world, all three teams had one thing in common: Y/N Y/LN.

Y/N had, to everyone’s astonishment, been on all three teams. Born as a Metahuman, she had started out on the Justice League team. Then, on a solo mission, she accidentally entered a black hole and bam! she found herself in another universe, and quickly bonded with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Eventually, it was determined that the Guardians couldn’t help her return to her home world - or universe - so she bid them goodbye and sought out the Avengers.

Y/N was the reason they had met. The reason that they knew of each other's universes. Now, seeing as her birthday was rapidly approaching, she was the reason they were coming together once more. Each superhero had their own connection with Y/N and adored her. Batman and Captain America were like father figures while Black Widow, Mera, and Wonder Woman were her mother figures, Furthermore, Aquaman and Thor were her mentors, Starlord, Iron Man, and Superman were like her big brothers, Gamora and Scarlet Witch were like her sisters, and Falcon, Rocket, Groot, Hawkeye, and Drax were her best friends.

There was someone else who fit into Y/N’s life in an entirely different way, though. That was the Hulk, aka Bruce Banner, who Y/N had a growing crush on. Coincidentally, his role in their birthday surprise was to be the distractor. He’d take Y/N out and about, staying as far away as possible from the Avengers Tower, while the other superheroes set up.

As expected, the planning hardly went smoothly.

Tony and Barry got into another confrontation, this time over Y/N’s choice of music (which went on until Mera and Wanda butted in with the music Y/N actually enjoyed), Arthur began to get on Natasha’s last nerves, and Rocket almost started eating her cake . . . and that was only a bit of what happened in the first half of the day.

Meanwhile, Bruce kept Y/N occupied. He took her out to her favorite breakfast place and breakfast was on him and then they filled the day at a carnival park. Bruce happily accompanied her on all the rides she wanted to go on (despite almost Hulking out multiple times) and even won Y/N some stuffed animals by throwing rings. He even got her lots and lots of cotton candy and then let her ride on his back when she got a stomach ache. All in all, though, it was a fun time. So fun that Bruce almost forgot that they had a party to get to!

Which is exactly why he frantically texted the groupchat that they were on their way and had to practically drag Y/N away from wanting to go on the ferris wheel for the third time. When confronted with questions, the lie that there was an emergency mission slipped off the brunette’s tongue -- probably not the smartest lie because Y/N had declared weeks before that if there were any missions on the week of her birthday, she wasn’t going -- but it worked long enough to keep her distracted, even if she was too busy with pouting and grumbling.

As they got closer and closer, Bruce could barely contain his excitement. Not only had he had a fantastic game, he was about to spend the night partying with the woman he had a crush on and celebrating her birthday. Who knows - maybe he’d even ask her out?!

When they got there, Y/N was ready to march inside and suit up, but Bruce tugging on her arm made her stop. Ignoring her endless questions and cries of frustration, he took his time leading her through the tower and into the backyard so the superheroes would have time to hide. Bruce let Y/N go before him and the moment she opened the doors, everyone jumped out wearing party hats and yelled: “SURPRISE!”

To say she was surprised would be a total understatement. In fact, she was so surprised that she stumbled back, directly into the scientist, and with his quick reflexes he steadied her and lightly nudged her forward and out of her shocked state. She had let out the biggest gasp that any of them had ever heard, her eyes went wide, and her hands flew over her mouth.

Slowly, she walked forward, overwhelmed by the sight before her. Not only were all her teammates - her friends, even family - together, but the place looked amazing. There were streamers, a big sign saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, balloons, even a fake throne that Tony and Bruce had constructed earlier that week!

“Oh-oh my god, you guys . . . Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She cried out, jumping up and down.

Everyone smiled. “Of course, sweetheart,” Arthur said.

“Go sit on your throne - presents are up first!” Tony added.

Y/N immediately ran and jumped onto the big throne.

“Aren’t presents supposed to be last or something?” Clint muttered to Steve as they walked over.

“Yeah, but Tony keeps boasting on how good his present is,” Steve replied.

Everyone mingled on over there and Tony presented his birthday present, which was definitely over-wrapped, first. After the squeals she emitted, the others were next. Everyone had gotten her their own birthday present, but Arthur and Mera went over the top when they joined together with their powers to make Y/N something super special.

Afterwards, they spent the rest of the time absolutely PARTYING! They had a dance contest which JARVIS was the judge of and Y/N won, but the next round Y/N co-judged with JARVIS and they determined that Rocket and Barry were tied for first place, Peter and Clint tied for second place, and Bruce got third place. Then, they moved onto playing games (Y/N and Bruce teamed up and they CRUSHED everyone else, because they already had experience working together at the carnival that day) and finally, it was time for cake. Y/N got the biggest piece and, of course, Rocket and Arthur fought over the cake (Groot smacked them).

They partied until the sun came up, where everyone either fell asleep or had someone fall asleep on them. In the morning, everyone awoke, only to see Y/N still asleep, her head resting on Bruce’s shoulder and a blanket wrapped around them both. It was the most adorable sight they had ever witnessed and Bruce carried her to bed while Natasha took her shoes off. The superheroes left her to sleep in and she came downstairs a couple hours later, a breakfast full of waffles, pancakes, anything you could imagine waiting for her.

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[aspiringauthorintraining]

Take Me Out (1/2)

Human beings were the equivalent of bugs to the King of Curses. Every one of them an eyesore and fucking useless. For Sukuna, he needed no reason to kill them- the fact that he simply could was more than enough.

But after coming across you, never had he felt such conviction to kill someone than he did right then. If looks could kill, you would have dropped dead a long time ago.

Luckily for you, Sukuna’s one eye held no power other than glaring metaphorical daggers into your soul currently.

“Have you ever considered appearing on the back of Yuuji’s head?” you asked, desperately trying to hold in a laugh. “You guys could dress-up as Professor Quirrell and Voldemort for Halloween!” 

Sukuna’s mouth visibly seethed with rage. People were supposed to fear him, not doubled over on the floor in a laughing fit. 

“The minute I regain full control of this brat’s body, I’m taking you out first.” Sukuna spat from the unconscious Yuuji’s cheek. 

The threat seemed to elicit the desired effect, the sound of your laughter ceasing.

He became curious about the look on your face. Was it trembling with fear? Or even better, maybe you had fainted from shock at the thought of him coming for you. His satisfied sneer quickly dropped though when you reentered his sight. An unexpected questioning look was in your eyes instead of the fear he had hoped for. 

 “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“…”

The room fell silent again. 

You head tilted at his single eye staring blankly at you. 

“…Huh?!”

A smile grew on your face at his heavily confused state.

“Your wanting to “take me out” on a date, right?” you repeated his words, giving him a knowing look. “I mean, it’s a bit unconventional way of asking me out, but I’ll accept it since it’s you.”

His mouth gaped open, and the side of the cheek he was on turned a noticeable shade of pink

“W-What is fucking wrong with you, woman?!” he screeched, clearly appalled at your question. “I meant I’m going to kill you first!”

“Oh,” you shrugged. “Well still, don’t take too long. A girl can only wait so much.” Smiling cheekily at him, you ended off the sentence with a wink in his direction.

But before he could offer you some more colorfully worded threats, Yuuji started to regain consciousness.

___

“You there, Sukuna?” 

Your finger gently poked the sleeping Yuuji’s cheek continuously, waiting for the King of Curses to grace you with his appearance.

“Anybody home?” you tapped again. “Hello?”

“What do you want, woman?” His mouth and single eye popped up.

“I’m just curious about something.” You took his responding silence as permission to continue. “I know you said you’re going to take me out, but what if I die before you regain your strength?”  

The curse scoffed at your question. “Don’t worry, woman. I’ll be the last thing you see before you die.” 

At the thought of you trembling beneath him begging him to have mercy on your life, he let out a series of cackles. He could already imagine the feeling of your sticky blood dripping down his hands, the familiar smell of iron invading the air. 

“Aww, Sukuna, I didn’t know you were such a romantic.” you cooed, breaking him away from his daydreaming. You raised a finger, gently patting his one eye with a smile. “I’ll be looking forward to our date then.”

He quickly scowled at your words. “What do you not fucking understand about me killing you, woman?!” 

The small mouth crunched its teeth in the air, attempting to bit your finger off. Amused, you brought a hand closer to him, wiggling your fingers back and forth, teasingly. Every time he thought he came close to chomping one off, you would pull back at the last second with a giggle. When he eventually let out a growl of frustration, you pushed your pointer finger against his lips, effectively shutting them. 

“Where are we going on our date by the way? Will this place have a dress code?”

Sukuna’s one eye bulges in anger, pure fury blazing in it. 

“You fucking bitch, I’m going to ki-“

“Yes, yes, that’s fine. You can’t wait to kill me.” You waved off his threat, undeterred by the repeated threat. “You’ve said that a hundred times now already. What I want to know is what I should wear on our first date.”

“It’s not a fucking da-“

“Oh, looks like Yuuji’s waking up from his nap.” 

The teenage boy’s eyes slowly blinked open, finally awaking from his afternoon nap. 

“Guess we’ll save the conversation for next time then.” 

And despite the threatening eyes you were met with, you waved him goodbye with a warm smile. A groan of disgust escaped Sukuna’s lips, before disappearing once again. 

___

You had noticed something was off the minute you entered the hallway. 

After successfully exorcising your designated half of curses, you searched around the building for your pink-haired kouhai, when suddenly the whole building was shrouded in darkness. The curse energy the domain gave off was too powerful for any of the curses residing in the building or Yuuji to conjure.

There was a slight shift behind you grabbing your attention. But before you could turn around to see what it was, hands suddenly snaked around your waist. 

“Since the last time we talked, I’ve been thinking about which way would be the most painful way to kill you.” a voice whispered in your ear, lips curling with glee. “All the scenarios ended the same way- with you crying beneath me, begging me for mercy.

With the free time Sukuna had acquired living inside Yuuji, he had infinite time to think about many things, you being among one of them. And after copious amounts of alone time to think to himself, he had come to the conclusion that he just needed to instill some fear into you.  The next you time were paired with the brat in an assignment, he would make sure to have you shaking in terror by the end of it.

“You were thinking about me? That’s so sweet.”

The cruel grin formed on his lips dropped.

“I’m going to kill y- never mind.” He brought a hand up to his forehead, massaging his temples. “Nothing I say is going to get through that fucking head of yours, is it?”

“Mmm, probably not.” you agreed. 

Sukuna now realized you were just stupid. You had to be to be talking to him like this.

You heard him let out a frustrated sigh, and when you turned around in his arms, you were met with a confused Yuuji staring back at you. 

“Senpai, why are we hugging?”

__

*(A/N): Sukuna’s hot. Nuff said.

It got too long to put it all in one post so part two coming soon to a tumblr near you. (probs tomorrow lol)

Part 2 here

[ghoulangerlee]

kisses on the forehead or kisses from behind for Malex😊

so it takes me a while to write oops, but I didn't quite have inspiration but then 3x08 happened and well... y'know. I GUESS this could be considered a 3x08 coda because it takes place after The Kiss sorta. I haven't watched 3x09 yet so.

So, this is just. sweet and syrupy smut; there's both forehead kisses and kisses from behind ;;

Really though, sometimes you just wanna see Michael fucking Alex and like, write what you wanna see and all that hahaha.

Posted on tumblr bc I'm in denial that I'm writing for this fandom oop. (Side note: If you wanna support a writer I do have a ko-fi :). Please be gentle this is the first time I've written smut since like, before April this year.)

it's all under the read more because it immediately starts as smut, sorry adlkfjd.

------

Michael drops a tender kiss to the back of Alex’s neck as he settles on his knees between Alex’s spread legs, one hand curled around his thigh, shifting it outward until he’s spread just so.

Alex sighs out Michael’s name, turning his head to the side so he can watch the man from the corner of his eye—the early morning light is just now coming through the slats of the blinds, peeking through the curtains and it bathes Michael in a warm glow that almost makes everything feel like a dream.

It’s not though, a dream, finally after so much time apart, he—they can have this again, but slower now, less of a crash landing and more like coming home.

“This comfortable?” Michael’s voice is barely above a whisper, his words spoke into the soft skin behind Alex’s ear as he settles his weight down onto Alex.

A hum forces it’s way out of Alex’s throat, soft and pleased as he bends his other knee a little, using the leverage to push back against Michael, feeling where the other man is hard and ready, “S’good,” he finally manages, the words thick in his mouth, syrupy.

A soft hiss falls from Michael’s lips, the rush of cool air against Alex’s skin making him shudder, already so over sensitive from the soft, careful touches that Michael had woken him up with that morning. “I think we can make it better than just good,” he whispers, pressing another kiss behind Alex’s ear, “You up for it?”

Alex snorts softly, reaching back to halfheartedly swat at Michael’s side, the early morning must be getting to him, the new vulnerability of the two of them being together make Alex a little sentimental, a little honest, and before he can stop himself—“I’d been hoping for something like this for longer than I’d been willing to admit to myself.” He admits, voice quiet but clear, “I couldn’t dare to hope and now…”

Though he trails off, Michael seems to understand the implication as he shifts to the side, just enough to make the next kiss land somewhere near Alex’s lips, and when Alex turns his head just right, he catches Michael’s mouth in a kiss so sweet and slow that Michael’s weight presses him down more into the bed as a warm hand curls around his jaw, taking some of the strain off, holding him there for several long moments.

Distantly, Alex realizes that it’s Michael’s left hand, something that was once a reminder that what they had couldn’t be anything beyond a secret somewhere in the desert, but now—there’s no bandana wrapped around his hand anymore, there hasn’t been last night when Michael kissed him at the Pony, either, and something releases in his chest, something warm and happy—love.

“Michael,” Alex murmurs when they finally break apart, “Michael, I need—”

Michael’s lips press against Alex’s temple, “I’ve got you,” he whispers, dropping another kiss to his hairline before he pulls back, grabbing for the lube he’d tucked under his shin earlier, trying to warm it.

He smooths a hand down Alex’s back, shushing him softly when he makes a noise of discontent, “I’m not going nowhere,” he promises, voice low and full of intent, “Finally got you where I want you and I plan to take advantage of it.”

As he speaks, he’s squeezing lube onto his fingers, spreading it slowly as he closes the cap and drops it back down to bed, “Easy now,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Alex’s shoulder blade as he presses a finger into him slowly.

“Michael,” Alex breathes out then, at the careful, gentle touch, slow and easy like they’ve got all the time in the—

Oh. He realizes as Michael’s finger slides in deeper, they do have time now, they can afford themselves this luxury of taking things slow, of exploring each other and relearning everything that drives the other crazy.

“Michael,” he says again, clenching his fingers in the sheets, pressing his forehead against his wrist as he squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden onslaught of emotion that seizes him.

It’s new and he thinks, briefly that he might be moving way too fast in the grand scheme of things but this is what love feels like. This is what loving Michael Guerin is supposed to be.

Michael presses a kiss to Alex’s shoulder, “You still with me?” he murmurs, curling his finger in a way that has Alex gasping and shifting under him. “Seems like you’re thinking too hard for what’s going on right now.” He whispers the words into Alex’s skin, and Alex can feel the curl of his lips as he says it, playful and teasing.

“Thinking about you,” Alex manages, the words muffled into the skin of his wrist, “Always thinking about you.”

Michael hums at that, and Alex hears the click of the lube cap again before another finger presses inside him, the suddenness causing him to gasp, “I’m right here, baby,” he says, voice filled with soft amusement, “Don’t have to think that hard about me.”

When Alex groans this time, it’s mostly out of exasperation, “Michael,” he says, “Don’t be a dick.”

Michael laughs then, leaning over to press a kiss to Alex’s temple, “Darlin’,” he coos, “I’m just teasing you, helping you relax a little,” he murmurs, “Tryin’ not to blow my load while I finger you, baby. Thinkin’ about how after all this time, it finally feels like I’ve come home.”

“Jesus,” Alex groans, “I’m not going to last if you keep talking like that,” he says, with the slightest hint of desperation in his voice.

Michael hums, pressing another kiss to Alex’s temple, “Think you can handle another?”

“Could probably take you now,” Alex murmurs, shifting under Michael again, a little in impatience, a little to get friction against his dick, “Didn’t want to come across as too easy or too much so soon, but—”

Michael shushes him again, “I’ve always liked how easy you get for me,” he whispers into Alex’s ear, “How much you wanted to be with me back then. Always eager to get your hands on me, always wanting mine on you…” he smiles when he feels Alex shiver, “It’s okay to want things, and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you get them.”

Alex makes a punched out sort of noise, “I want to feel you,” he admits quietly, shifting under Michael again, “Next time, we can go slower, you can draw it out for hours if you want, I just…”

“I’m going to hold you to that offer for next time,” Michael murmurs with a smile, “I’d love to get you all desperate and eager for me, keep you like this for however long I want,” he presses a kiss to Alex’s temple, then cheek, then jaw, “But this time, we’ve both wanted this for so long, I’d be a fool to draw it out for much longer.”

Alex makes some sort of noise in agreement and within the next few minutes, Michael is carefully sliding his fingers out of Alex, pressing a lingering kiss to the center of his back before the weight disappears—

Before he can think too much, before his lust addled mind can protest, Michael’s back, and suddenly, Alex’s need to see Michael kicks his hard in the ribs, “Michael, Michael,” he says, and his voice sounds strange to his own ears, “Michael, I want to see you, please.”

Michael’s weight disappears for a moment, and then his hands, warm and only the slightest bit sticky from lube are on his sides, helping him roll over until he’s spread out almost in the center of the bed, staring up at Michael with flushed cheeks and half lidded eyes.

“There you are,” Michael says with a warm smile, settling between Alex’s spread legs, his palms resting against Alex’s inner thighs now, pushing outward just enough for Alex to feel the stretch of it, “Like this?”

Alex nods, pushing himself up with one hand so he can curl his other arm around Michael’s shoulders, pulling him down until their chests are pressed together, tilting his head up so he can meet Michael’s lips in a kiss—he throws every single feeling he can’t put into words into that kiss, curling his fingers into the back of Michael’s hair, tugging him closer.

Michael goes easily, one hand gently cupping Alex’s jaw to kiss him back just as sweetly.

“I love you,” Alex whispers when they part, breathing heavily, lips parted and red, tempting and Michael kisses him again, harder this time, a little more desperate.

Michael pulls away moments later, resting their foreheads together, “I love you too,” he whispers into the space between their lips.

Alex smiles up at him, his cheeks flushed, eyes bright and happy and Michael makes a soft noise, “Jesus, Manes, you’re going to kill me.”

“Only in good ways, I hope,” Alex says, running his fingers through Michael’s hair, “Now,” he murmurs, nudging Michael’s side with his knee, “I believe we were in the middle of something?”

Michael huffs softly, fondly, shaking his head at Alex before leaning down for another quick kiss, “You’ve got me all distracted again,” he mumbles, leaning back as Alex drops back down onto the bed, laughing softly to himself and looking so happy that Michael almost wishes he could take a picture of this moment and keep it somewhere he can look at it whenever he feels the self-doubt sink in.

“Let me distract you in other ways, then,” Alex says with a grin, finding the lube, half wedged under his thigh now, “I think you know what to do from here, right?” he asks, tilting his head in question.

Michael shakes his head, laughs and takes the lube from Alex, shifting closer as he squeezes some lube into his palm, “You’re the one who kept distracting me,” he says, hissing softly as he takes himself in hand.

Alex bites his lower lip as he watches Michael touch himself, “Uh huh, just giving you a chance to get yourself under control so it’s not over in two minutes,” he teases, raising an eyebrow at Michael when he looks up, “Now come on,” he says, somewhat impatiently. “I need you, Michael.”

Michael huffs softly, uses the hand already around his dick to steady it as he pulls Alex’s hips further into his lap, pressing the head teasingly against where Alex wants him the most—he waits, listens to the hitch in Alex’s breath before he pushes inside, slow.

It’s incredible, like coming home all over again and something that now Michael’s sure he could never live without.

Alex’s hands grab for Michael’s biceps, head pushing back against the bed as he moans, half Michael’s name, half gibberish, curling one leg around Michael’s lower back, trying to pull him closer.

“I’ve got you,” Michael whispers, breathless, leaning close to press kisses along the curve of Alex’s jaw, “I’ve got you baby,” he repeats, feeling one of Alex’s hands come up to cup the back of his neck, holding him close, “Fuck, you feel amazing, so good for me, Alex.”

Alex makes a soft noise, shifting his hips further into Michael’s lap, “I missed this,” he admits with a sigh, sliding his palm up Michael’s arm, across his shoulder, “Missed us being together like this, feeling you like this.” He tilts his head, catching Michael’s lips in a sweet kiss. “You can move,” he murmurs into it. “I’m ready.”

The first several thrusts are slow, a little shaky, as if Michael can’t seem to believe he’s actually allowed to have this again, that this isn’t a dream, that Alex is here and real under him, whispering soft words of pleasure against his mouth.

Michael rests his forehead against Alex’s shoulder and Alex’s arms come around him, holding onto him as each near breathless affirmation grows in volume, Alex’s hands petting along his upper back, nails scratching against skin so gentle that Michael almost wants to cry—

“Faster,” Alex murmurs into Michael’s ear, palms spreading out against Michael’s skin as he digs his heel into Michael’s lower back, “Wanna feel it, Michael,” he whispers, “Wanna feel you all day, wanna remember this when I’m alone,” he drags his nails lightly up the center of Michael’s back, feeling him shudder under his touch, feels his hips quicken, feels the way Michael grabs him with both hands, hitching him higher into his lap, “That’s it—”

Michael makes a noise, something low and guttural as he pulls back from Alex’s shoulder, his lips finding Alex’s in a desperate kiss; deepening it almost immediately in a way that has Alex groaning into it, digging his nails harshly into Michael’s back.

“Gonna make you come first,” Michael mumbles as he pulls away, “Touch yourself for me, show me how good I’m making you feel, baby.” He brushes his nose gently against Alex’s before he’s glancing between them, watching Alex wrap a hand around himself, trying desperately to keep up with the quick pace Michael’s set.

It doesn’t take long after that, never takes long when they really get into it, Alex realizes somewhere distantly, they’d always been compatible sexually, everything about it explosive and mind blowing no matter the situation—but now, with Michael pressing kiss after kiss to every inch of exposed skin he can reach, with Michael whispering soft words against his shoulder, his chest, fucking into him just right, Alex can’t help himself—he gasps Michael’s name, long and low as he arches, feels Michael’s hand cover his as he comes, and together they stroke him through it until he’s sensitive and gasping, nudging their hands away with a shudder of almost too much.

Alex pulls him into another kiss, mostly gasping against Michael’s mouth, quietly urging Michael to keep moving, to keep going; half words of love and praise fall from his lips as Michael breaks away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Alex’s shoulder again, holding his hips tight enough to leave behind bruises and—fuck what a thought that is, and if Alex could get hard again, he probably would, at the thought of Michael marking him in a way that no one could see but the both of them would know.

“Come, Michael,” Alex whispers, tangling his fingers in Michael’s hair, giving it a light tug, turning his head to press a wet kiss to his temple, “Come for me, baby, let me feel you,” he murmurs, wrapping his free arm around Michael’s shoulders, holding onto him tight even as the shocks of overstimulation become just on the side of too much—he gasps when Michael’s teeth close over his skin, right on the curve of his shoulder and with one more good tug of his hair, Michael’s swearing softly into his skin, hips moving in quick, short thrusts as if he can’t help it.

Alex feels the warmth, the way Michael’s thrusts taper off until he’s pressed as close to Alex as he can, buried deep inside him, gasping wetly against his shoulder as he comes down from his high, Alex’s hands gentle now, one petting over his sweaty back, the other gently scratching Michael’s scalp.

“Fuck,” Michael eventually mutters, pulling back so he can look down at Alex, “We’ve still got it, huh?” he asks, face adorably flushed, looking completely fucked out as Alex feels and Alex laughs, gently pulling Michael down into another kiss.

Michael goes to pull back, to separate them, to clean up, but Alex just makes an impatient noise against his mouth, tugging him deeper into the kiss, into his embrace, until Michael’s weight is resting fully on Alex, pressing him down into the bed.

When they finally do separate, Alex laughs a little, brushing Michael’s hair back from his face, “I know we should clean up, maybe get breakfast, but I kind of want you right here for a little bit longer.” He admits softly, framing Michael’s face with his hands. “We have a lot to do still and I’m not ready for this to end just yet.”

“The afterglow?” Michael asks, leaning into Alex’s touch, eyes fluttering closed, smiling when Alex hums in reply. “I think we can stay like this a little bit longer, don’t think the world’s gonna end just yet.

Alex glances over at the window, where the curtain’s parted just enough to let in the early morning light—and Michael huffs a little, waves his hand as the curtains close on their own, the room suddenly a little darker than before.

“Michael,” Alex says, snatching his phone out of the air from where it’s floating just beside them, “What—”

“Set an alarm, give us an hour, and then, we’ll get ready and go save the world,” Michael says, “I think we can afford that, don’t you?”

Alex looks between his phone, at the time across the screen—it’s not even nine yet, and then he looks down at Michael who’s staring up at him with such a look of love that Alex’s heart seizes in his chest, “Okay,” he finally says, “Okay, yeah,” he blindly fumbles his way through setting an alarm, tossing his phone down onto the bed when he’s done, “An hour. Breakfast then? We can go to the Crashdown, together,” he says, extra emphasis on the word together.

Michael’s smile is bright, and he leans down, presses a kiss to Alex’s mouth, “I knew I could convince you,” he says, shifting enough to rest his head on Alex’s chest, “An hour for us and then we’ll face the world together.”