#how can you live with yourself at that point

[goldendemo]

First & Early Second Trimester Abortion

Mifepristone + misoprostol are the medications most commonly used for medication abortion, and there are a number of legitimate sites where you can purchase it online (aidaccess is a good option). They will typically come together, although sometimes misoprostol is used alone. This combination is safe for first and second trimester abortions, although it may be less effective in the second trimester (or sometimes even earlier, after ten weeks). They can be taken sublingually (underneath the tongue) or vaginally (guide to taking abortion pills).

Avoid purchasing miffy or miso from sites that want more information from you than an address & payment method, that don't provide information about how to safely take the pills, or that use inflammatory or sales-pitch-y language. Planned Parenthood (in states with legal abortion) is the most widespread reputable distributor of medication abortion.

Later Term Abortion

If you find yourself unable to access medication abortion, remember that, at this point (November 2024), it is still legal to cross state lines to have an abortion, and, if it becomes illegal, you can still cross state lines under another pretense, as people have been doing for decades. There are abortion provision organizations that can help you with the costs of travel and abortion services (national network of abortion funds, midwest access coalition). Planned Parenthood is the largest provider system, with clinics in many states, and the largest abortion clinic in the U.S. is located in Illinois.

Avoid institutions that call themselves "crisis pregnancy centers" or "women's health clinics," especially if they don't directly say they provide abortion services on their website. There are a number of predatory pro-life clinics that will give you misinformation about abortion or deliberately waste your time, and you don't want them to know that you are seeking an abortion, especially if you are living in an area where abortion is illegal or highly restricted.

You will be asked for informed consent when receiving an abortion procedure. Make sure that you read and understand everything before signing, keeping in mind that marginalized people (particularly Black, Indigenous, Puerto Rican, and disabled people) in the U.S. have historically been coercively sterilized when requesting abortion procedures. If you feel that your consent involves coercion to agree to something you don't want, try to find access somewhere else first. Trying to find abortion access can make you feel very desperate, but your autonomy and safety are paramount considerations. See if a provision service can help you find an alternative if at all possible.

Illegal Providers

In some circumstances, you may need to get a surgical abortion from an illegal provider. Surgical abortions are typically called dilation and evacuation (D&E). This will most likely be a vacuum aspiration abortion (sometimes euphemistically called menstrual extraction), in which a cannula removes the content of the uterus using suction. In procedures with properly constructed cannulas, there is no way to pass air into the uterus, and the procedure is typically very safe. Forceps may be used to clear out additional contents.

In some later term abortions, curettage may be used as well, in which a scalpel is inserted into the uterus to remove the uterine lining. This carries more risk for infection and/or laceration than suction evacuation alone, but has been used by both legal and illegal abortion providers for decades, and usually does not involve harm.

When evaluating an illegal abortion provider, keep these things in mind: do they keep paperwork (within reason)? do they use the correct medical terminology? do they ask you questions about how long you've been pregnant/conditions of your pregnancy/concerns you may have? Do they describe the procedure to you beforehand? Do they answer your questions? Do they discuss your options for pain management? Does the surgical room appear properly sterilized? Does the provider wear gloves & other PPE? Is there an exit strategy in the event that police show up?

What To Do When An Abortion Goes Wrong

Here are some normal & safe side effects that you may experience after an abortion (particularly later abortions):

vaginal bleeding (up until/through the next regular menstrual period)

abdominal cramping/pain (similar to period cramping)

fatigue (feeling more tired than usual, can last several weeks)

nausea (in the first one-two days)

vomiting (in the first day)

diarrhea (in the first day)

feelings of grief, sadness, joy, relief, regret, confusion, or no strong feelings at all - there is no abnormal emotional response to abortion

Here are some side effects that can be cause for concern:

fever more than 24 hours after the procedure

vomiting more than 24 hours after the procedure, or excessively

diarrhea more than 24 hours after the procedure, or excessively

past the first two hours following the procedure, excessive vaginal bleeding through more than two maxi pads per hour

extreme abdominal pain (significantly worse than pain you experience on a normal period) - this may be harder to determine if you have PCOS or endometriosis

persistent sensation that something is 'stuck' in the uterus/vaginal canal

You can call the miscarriage/abortion hotline for confidential advice about what to do/counseling for emotional distress.

If you are ill after your abortion, you will need to go to your nearest emergency room, as you may have an infection, remaining tissue, or laceration within the uterus. If you go to an emergency room, you can ALWAYS tell the medical providers there that you had a miscarriage. Miscarriage and intentional abortion are indistinguishable from one another. After an abortion is completed, there is no way to tell that mifepristone/misoprostol or D&E was used. It is unlikely, but you may be threatened by medical providers who tell you they can tell - this is NOT true. They have no way of telling. Do not admit to abortion in a state where it is illegal, or if you do not want to.

It is possible you will find yourself in a situation where medical providers are hostile to you/suspicious that you received an abortion. In this case, you may find it helpful to refer to the pregnancy as "the baby," and present more distressed than you may actually be in order to garner more sympathy.

You will likely be treated with more suspicion if you are single, have previously had a (legal, documented abortion), or are openly/visibly trans. Whenever possible, bring a trusted friend to act as your medical advocate, to corroborate your story of unexpected miscarriage, and to help you navigate the experience if you lose lucidity.

Most serious injury and death related to abortion happens to those who don't go to the hospital when they experience symptoms of infection. It is important to get emergency care if you need it! You will most likely be okay, and you never have to tell anyone that you had an abortion, doctors included.

Other Notes

The FDA has recently approved an over-the-counter birth control pill, the O-Pill, which can be purchased without a prescription. Many Planned Parenthoods provide contraceptives such as condoms, spermicide, and oral birth control for free or at low cost, even in places where abortion is illegal. Plan B is legal in all 50 states (although partially restricted in Louisiana), and is most effective in 24 hours after having sex.

Odds are high that a local reproductive justice organization near you needs volunteers/members/donors, so look into it BEFORE you need it. It takes a village.

hey let's start spreading the reminder now that you cannot safely self-manage an abortion with herbal medicine or essential oils. natural abortifacients function by poisoning you; you wait for your body to realize you're dying and reject the pregnancy in order to conserve resources, and hope that happens before the rest of your organs shut down.

i think there will be an upsurge soon of unscrupulous and/or malicious actors preying on desperate pregnant people; do not help them kill people. don't spread recipes for herbal medicines or ingestible essential oil mixtures that purport to cause a pregnancy termination.

[harknessxo]

Cigarettes out the Window

Paring: Sugar!mommy!Agatha Harkness x reader

Summary: You go into a fight with your parents about your grades and ran to the only safe place you know, Agatha.

Warnings; age gap, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, girl penis, mommy kink.

Word Count: 6.1k

A/n: So Agatha becomes reader’s sugar mommy at the end basically but it’s not mentioned.

“A d, Y/n!? Really?!” Your mom yelled angrily.

“It’s just the first quarter! I’ll get the grade up!” You yelled back.

“You know how much hard earned money we are spending to send you to college and this is how you repay us!?” Your dad exclaimed.

You had come back home from taking one of your college classes and were bombarded by your parents about your grade in one of them. This had been going on for a couple minutes and by this point, tears stained your cheeks as you tried to reason with your parents.

“I’m sorry! I’m trying my best-“

“Well it’s clearly not enough! You better get it together before we stop funding your tuition.” Your dad said firmly, leaving you stunned.

“You…You can’t do that!”

“Oh yes we can and we will if you don’t bring your grades up.” You stayed silent looking at them with hurt in your eyes before running up the stairs and into your room. You slammed the door shut, sliding down it, taking a seat in front of it while hugging your knees. You started to sob as you replayed their hurtful words in your mind.

You knew you should have moved out the second you had the chance but when they offered to pay for college you couldn’t resist. Westview University was ten minutes from your parents’ house so it made no sense to move out.

You cried until you had no more tears left. As you started to get up off of the floor, you looked at your night stand where your pack of cigarettes laid and remembered what your lovely neighbor Agatha had told you. ‘If you ever feel unsafe or need an escape, my backyard gate is always unlocked for you.’

You were so grateful for her. She lived five houses down from yours. Agatha was always so sweet to you and your only true friend as embarrassing as it sounded, especially because you were twenty and she was in her fifties. She knew almost everything about you because you always told her everything. She was also very rich. She had a very stable career which always made you question how she ended up being your friend. She was your safe place when your room wasn’t enough.

You quickly snatched the pack of cigarettes and sneaked out your window. It was already dark outside so you went unnoticed as you walked over to her house. You were careful to make noise as you opened the gate latch as you sneak inside. You knew Agatha still wasn’t home, her car wasn’t in the driveway and it was a Friday which meant she was probably staying late at work.

You took a seat at the edge of her pool, dipping your feet in the water and pulled out your lighter, lighting a cigarette on before taking a long drag. You didn’t really like smoking, neither did Agatha, she always told you how bad it was for you but it calmed you down in stressful situations like this.

As you were finishing up your cigarette, you heard the living room sliding door open and looked up to find Agatha leaning against it wearing her work tux.

“Hey, sweet girl. How was your day?” she asked with a sweet smile on her face which quickly dropped when she saw your tear stained cheeks. She ran towards you and brought you into her arms, hugging you tightly. You let yourself fall apart in her arms, sobbing what was still left inside you.

“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe with me,” she soothed you, rubbing your back so softly. You stayed like this for a little while, you curled up in her lap while she rocked you back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Eventually, your sobs turned into soft whimpers and your tears dried up. She pulled away from you slightly, her hands still on your waist, and looked at you with a sympathetic expression.

“What happened sweet girl?” she asked, her voice as soft as ever.

“I can’t do this anymore, Aggie. I came home from uni only to be bombarded by my parents about my grades. I got a D in one of my classes and they went crazy about it. It’s just the first quarter! I’m trying my best but they said it isn’t enough and threatened to stop paying for my tuition. What am I gonna do?” You spilled your guts out.

She listened to you intently as you vented to her, her expression growing sadder as you continued. She sighed and pulled you back into a tight hug and you leaned into her warmth.

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry that happened,” she whispered, wiping your tears away, “You’re working so hard, baby. It’s unfair that they’re treating you like this,” she took a deep breath, “I’ve been wanting to ask you something but haven’t found the right time until now.”

“What is it?” you asked curiously, looking her in the eye. She gently took your hands in hers and started to play with your fingers as she spoke.

“Why don’t you move in with me, hm? You won’t have your parents to nag you about anything and maybe you can…” she grimaced, holding the pack of cigarettes up, “leave these behind. How does that sound?”

“I couldn’t possibly do that, Aggie. I don’t want to be a burden plus my parents would most definitely stop paying for tuition then-“

“You are no burden, sweet girl,” she cut you off, “And so what if your parents stop paying for your tuition? I have plenty of money and I can pay for it. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything.” Tears welled up in your eyes again but not from sadness but from happiness as she finished talking. This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you.

“Re-really? You would do that for me?” Her heart broke when she saw the tears in your eyes again. She quickly wiped them away and nodded with a smile on her face.

“Of course I would, baby girl. I would do anything for you,” she spoke sincerely, getting closer until your faces were inches apart.

Your heart started pounding in your chest as she got closer to your face. You looked down at her parted lips for a second before finally closing the distance. She returned the kiss immediately, cupping your cheeks, pulling you closer.

She gently bit your bottom lip, pulling away slightly before going back in and swiping her tongue against your lip. She took advantage of the gasp that escaped your mouth to slide her tongue inside, exploring every inch of your mouth. You were so deep in the kiss until you realized what was happening and you pulled away. You didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had.

“I-I’m sorry, Agatha- I should go-“ you tried to get up but quickly grabbed your arm to stop you.

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to leave,” she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re…you’re not mad?” She chuckled softly and shook her head. She caressed your cheek, running her thumb across your bottom lip.

“No, silly. I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you,” she said softly, her hand coming down to rest on your thigh, “I kissed you too,” she admitted. You stayed silent in disbelief. You’ve had a crush on her ever since you were in high school but you knew better…until now. Her maternal nature towards you made you feel special and that you were enough, for her at least. After a couple seconds she broke the silence.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go inside. It’s starting to get cold and I don’t want you getting sick,” she quickly ushered you inside her luxurious house which never failed to amaze you.

“Have you eaten anything, baby?” she asked and you shook your head. With the whole situation with your parents you had forgotten to eat anything. She tsked and led you into the kitchen. She sat you down at the kitchen island and started to make you something to eat. She went through her cabinets and pulled out a packet of ramen noodles.

“How does some ramen sound, hm?”

“It sounds great,” you said, still a bit dozed out thinking of what she had said earlier. She started to cook the noodles, humming softly as she stirred them. Once they were done, she poured them into a bowl and added some seasoning. She set the bowl down in front of you and ruffled your hair affectionately.

“Eat up, baby,” she kissed your temple.

“Why are you doing this for me?” you asked suddenly. She was caught off guard by your question and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean, sweet girl?” she sat down next to you, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“You’ve always been so sweet to me, taking care of me, looking out for me, and now you’re asking me to move in and pay for me to continue going to college just so I can get away from my parents,” you teared up again, “Why?” She let out a sigh and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side.

“You deserve to be taken care of, baby. You’re a good girl and your parents don’t see that. I can’t sit back and watch you suffer anymore,” she said softly, running her fingers through your hair.

“But-“

“No buts,” she cut you off, “I don’t want to hear any more arguments from you, baby girl. You’re moving in with me, whether you like it or not. Now finish your ramen before they get cold. I’m going to be finishing up some work stuff if you need anything,” she started walking away.

“What about the kiss?” you asked, almost desperate to know. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face you.

“We can talk about it later, okay?” You nodded your head, a bit disappointed but tried not to show it. She saw the disappointment in your eyes and her heart panged. She knew you wanted to talk about the kiss but she wasn’t sure if now was the right time. She gave you a small smile and walked to her home office upstairs.

You turned back to the ramen she had so nicely made for you and ate them slowly as you let your mind run wild. Did she return the same feelings? Was the kiss just in the heat of the moment? Will she get tired of your neediness and throw you out after you move in? The little voice in the back of your mind nagged at you in the voice of your parents like it always did.

After you finished eating, you placed the empty bowl in the sink and started to wander around the house. You didn’t have much to do and the thought of going home was making you feel uneasy. You didn’t want to go back there. So you went to her office, peeking at her working through the cracked door. She looked so beautiful with her reading glasses on.

“I know you’re there, sweetheart. I can feel your eyes on me. You can come in,” she said with a playful tone, all while still looking down at her papers.

“S-sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you,” you said, finally stepping inside, closing the door behind you. She smiled softly and gestured for you to come closer.

“You’re not disturbing me, baby. Come here,” she patted her lap, signaling you to sit on it. You were taken aback by her request yet you didn’t question it and just sat down on her lap. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her. You could feel her chest against your back as she rested her chin on your shoulder.

“You’re awfully quiet. You’re not usually this quiet, sweet girl,” she said, a hint of concern in her voice.

“I just…,” you turned to face her, “I know you said to talk about it later but I need to know that the kiss meant something to you too.” She looked at you, seeing the desperation in your eyes. She brought her hand up to your face and cupped your cheek, her thumb rubbing small circles on your skin.

“Of course it meant something to me, baby. I wouldn’t have kissed you if it didn’t,” she said gently, tilting your chin up with her fingers. She had always known about your little crush but never pointed it out, not wanting to embarrass you, and it all led to this moment. Your eyes diverted between her eyes and lips before you pulled her into another kiss, this one more desperate, more passionate. She pulled you impossibly closer, her arms tightening around your waist as she took control of the kiss, her tongue slipping into your mouth.

You didn’t hesitate to let her explore your mouth with her tongue. She bit down on your lip and soon the metallic taste of blood filled your tastebuds. You moaned against her lips. She swallowed the moan, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she continued to dominate the kiss. She bit down on your lip harder, breaking the skin and causing more blood to flow into her mouth. She lapped it up like it was honey.

“M…mommy-“ you mumbled against her lips and immediately pulled away when you realized what you said. A smirk formed on her lips when the word slipped. It was something she had been waiting for you to say but had never dared to say out loud, until now. She grabbed your hips and guided you so you were now straddling her.

“Say that again, baby,” she whispered huskily into your ear, her breath sending chills down your spine. You stared at her for a moment. You expected her to laugh in your face or even push you away but not this.

“…mommy,” She let out a low hum of approval as you called her that again. Her hands started to roam up and down your thighs, leaving a burning trail wherever she touched you.

“That’s a good girl. You’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” You nodded desperately. She chuckled and ran her fingers through your hair, tugging your head back gently, exposing your neck to her. She placed a kiss on your pulse point, her lips ghosting over your skin as she spoke.

“You look so pretty like this, all desperate and needy for me,” she nibbled at your earlobe, “Mommy is going to take such good care of you, bunny, and you’re going to let her. Isn’t that right?”

“Y-yes,” she hummed, satisfied with your answer. She continued to place kisses on your neck, slowly making her way down to your collarbone, leaving a trail of love bites in her wake.

“Good bunny,” she murmured against your skin before biting down on the sensitive spot on your neck. She wanted to mark you as hers and make sure you remember who you belong to. She suddenly manhandled you up and bent you over her desk, shoving anything in her way to the floor. She ripped your shirt off, throwing it on the floor to join her desk decor. She admired the sight of you underneath her, her eyes roaming up and down your body, taking in every inch of you.

“Such a beautiful girl. All mine, isn’t that right?” she purred, her hands gripping your hips tightly, holding you in place.

“All yours,” you mewled back, letting her do as she pleased with you. She smiled at your obedience, slowly taking off your pants along with your panties. She let her hand come down on your ass with a loud smack, making you yelp. The sound echoed through the room as she admired the red handprint that appeared on your skin.

“That’s my good girl,” she cooed, soothingly running her hand over the spot she just spanked. She then moved her hands up your waist until they reached your breast, getting a handful of them, pressing your naked back against her clothes front.

She chuckled at the way you squirmed against her, feeling how needy you were for her touch. She continued to massage your breasts, her thumbs running over your nipples, feeling them harden under her touch.

“You’re so sensitive, bunny,” she whispered in your ear, her breath tickling your skin.

“I want you mommy,” you whined, rubbing your palm against her crotch. She let out a low groan as you rubbed against her, her hips instinctively bucking forward against your hand.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you? Can’t even wait until I get undressed,” she nipped at your neck, her fingers tweaking your nipples.

“Please?” You pleaded.

She couldn’t deny you when you said please in such a sweet tone. She quickly unbuttoned her shirt and threw it to the floor, her pants following soon after. She turned you around to face her and sat down in her chair, pulling you onto her lap so that you were straddling her once again, her cock already hard.

“You’re gonna have to work for it,” she ran her fingers through your soaked cunt, “You’re so ready for me, baby,” she moaned.

“Only for you, mommy,” she lifted your hips, aligning her cock with your entrance. She looked up at you for any sign of discomfort and when she didn’t she brought you down on her cock. She let out a groan as you took her in, her head falling back against the chair. Her grip on your hips tightened as she helped you lower yourself onto her.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby,” she panted out, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment. You wrapped your arms around her neck, clinging to her as you tried to get used to her size. She was so big but you didn’t care. You wanted to be a good girl and take it.

She smiled up at you, her hands roaming up and down your back as you adjusted to her size. She knew you were small and she could be rough with you, but she wanted to be gentle now that it was the first you took her. She knew you could only handle so much.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You’re taking mommy so well,” she cooed, her hands resting on your hips, her thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

“…you can move now,” you mumbled, hiding your face in the valley of her neck. She chuckled at your shyness and gently pushed you back, her hands resting on your shoulders.

“Look at me, baby,” she said firmly, her voice leaving no room for arguments. She loved it when you got shy and timid, it made it even easier to control you, “I want you to keep your eyes on me, okay sweet girl?” you looked at her, doe eyed and nodded your head.

She smiled at your obedience and started to slowly move her hips, lifting you up and down on her cock. Her eyes were glued to yours, watching every reaction that flashed across your face. She loved the way you looked when you were under her control, so submissive and willing to do whatever she wanted.

“You’re so beautiful, bunny. All mine,” she moaned out, her pace gradually speeding up. Your pussy greedily clenched around her at the praise. It made your heart flutter. Like you were enough. She could feel you clenching around her, only encouraging her to thrust up into you harder. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her, so your chest was flush against hers. She continued to praise you, whispering filthy things into your ear as she picked up the pace.

You were itching closer to your release only for her to pull out and bend you over her desk once against. She loved the whine that left your lips when she pulled out, it was adorable and needy. She roughly pushed you down onto the desk, her hand on the back of your neck to keep you in place. She positioned herself behind you and ran the tip of her cock up and down your soaked folds.

“You want it, don’t you, princess?” she teased, knowing full well how badly you wanted her.

“Please! I’ve been good!” You begged. She couldn’t resist your pleading, the words going straight to her ego. Her grip on your neck tightened as she lined herself up with your entrance once again.

“Such a good girl, begging so nicely for me,” she praised you again as she slowly pushed back into you, relishing in the sweet sounds that fell from your lips.

“Ah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She bottomed out with a low moan, taking a moment to admire the sight of you bent over her desk, your pussy stuffed full with her cock. Her other hand gripped your hip, her nails digging into your skin, leaving little crescent moon shaped marks. She was going to mark you all over as hers.

“You’re so welcome, baby,” she panted out, her eyes glued to where you two were connected. Her thrusts became more erratic, wanting to make you come undone all while chasing her own release. She was getting close, her grip on your hip tightening as she slammed into you from behind. She leaned over you, her chest pressed against your back as she peppered kisses across your shoulder blades. Her breath was hot against your skin as she spoke.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. I’m close. Are you gonna cum for me, baby?”

“Can I?” you asked politely, which left her a bit surprised. She raised an eyebrow at your question, a smirk forming on her lips.

“Such a well mannered girl and she’s all mine,” she said, her voice dripping with mock surprise. She knew you could be a good girl when you wanted to, but this was a new level of submission, “Go on, baby, come for me.”

You came on command, moaning her name loudly, your warm walls spasming around her cock, getting her over the edge. She let out a loud moan of her own as she came, filling you up with her hot cum. Her body slumped over yours, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She stayed on top of you for a moment, letting you both come down from your high. Once her breathing evened out, she slowly pulled out, her eyes fixated on your leaking cunt as her cum dripped down your thighs.

“Good girl,” she murmured, slowly straightening up, gently rubbing your back with her hand to soothe you. A sudden rush of emotion washed over you and you began to sob. You’ve never felt so loved. She froze when she heard you crying, her heart aching at the sound. She gently pulled you up into a sitting position and turned you to face her, worry etched on her face as she saw the tears streaming down your face.

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” she asked, panicking slightly but gently cupping your face in her hands, her thumbs wiping away your tears. You shook your head and just hugged her tightly, melting into her warmth. She let out a sigh of relief when you shook your head, but her worry didn’t completely dissipate. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into her lap and holding you close to her chest. She ran her fingers through your hair and gently shushed you, trying to calm you down.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you, baby,” she whispered, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I…I love you, Agatha,” you whispered into her ear timidly. Her heart skipped a beat when you spoke those three words. She was shocked to hear them, she wasn’t expecting you to say it so soon. She pulled back slightly so she could look at you, her eyes scanning your face for any signs of doubt or uncertainty. When she found none, she smiled warmly at you, her hands cupping your face again.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” she replied without hesitation. She never thought she would find love in a girl half her age, but here she was, completely in love with you, “Let’s go get you cleaned up,” she stood up, “Can you stand up?” You tried to stand up and walk but quickly fell into her arms, your legs feeling like Jell-O. She easily caught you, holding you close against her body.

“I got you, bunny. I fucked you that good, huh?” she said with a smirk.

“Mommy…” You whined at her mocking tone. She chuckled at your whiny voice. She scooped you up into her arms bridal style and carried you to the bathroom in her master bedroom, setting you down on the counter once you got there.

“So cute when you get whiny like this,” she teased as she started running a bath.

“Are you gonna get in with me?” you asked, your cheeks turning a rosy color. She smiled at your question, loving how shy you got so quickly. She turned to look at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Do you want me to?” she asked, her voice low and seductive. You nodded timidly. Even after she’d seen you whole, even after all the time you’ve known her, she still managed to make you blush like a schoolgirl. She smiled warmly at your nod, her heart melting at your shy demeanor. She loved how easily she could make you flustered, it made her want to see you like this all the time. Once the bath was ready, she grabbed your chin gently and tilted your head up to look at her.

“You better get used to this, baby. You’re mine to take care of now,” You looked at her with pure adoration in your eyes and without you pulled her into a desperate kiss, putting your arms around her neck. She immediately returned the kiss, her lips moving against yours passionately.

She was taken off guard by your desperate actions, but quickly melted into it, sliding her tongue into your mouth and exploring every inch of it. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you flush against her body. You wanted to stay like this forever. You didn’t want to pull away but you were both running out of air so Agatha made the first move to pull away.

She pulled away from the kiss with a low moan, her breathing heavy as she looked down at you. She rested her forehead against yours, her arms still wrapped tightly around you.

“You’re going to be the death of me, sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice laced with affection, “Let’s get you in the bath.” She picked you up again, like you weighed nothing, and placed you down on the warm water before getting in as well. She got in behind you and gently pulled you back so your back was against her chest. She wrapped her arms around your waist, holding you close as she let out a content sigh.

“Comfortable?” she asked as she began to run her hands over your body, lightly massaging your skin.

“Mhm…” you hummed, taking her hand in yours, thinking of all the things that happened that led to this moment. She could feel you thinking as you relaxed against her. She planted a kiss on your shoulder, silently urging you to voice your thoughts.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, baby?”

“No one has ever treated me with so much love like you have. You make me feel special unlike my parents that make me feel dumb. I can be me without having to be ‘mature for my age’ with you. I’m so grateful for you, Agatha,” you kissed the back of her hand. Her heart ached at your words, the vulnerability in your voice made her chest feel tight. She tightened her arms around you, holding you closer to her as if to protect you from all the negativity you’ve faced in the past.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she said softly, nuzzling her face into your neck, “You are special. Your parents don’t know what they’re missing out on. You deserve to be loved and cared for. You deserve everything good in this world and I plan on giving it to you, princess.”

“Please don’t ever leave me,” you almost sobbed. You knew this was dangerous. You always got attached quickly and it always seemed to end badly for you.

She felt her heart shatter at your words. The thought of ever leaving you was unbearable to her. She turned your head gently so you were facing her and cupped your cheek, looking at you with nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

“I’m never going to leave you, baby. You’re stuck with me now. You’re mine, forever and always.”

“You promise…mommy?” Gosh you were so adorable, she should have done this sooner.

“I promise,” she said firmly, her grip on you possessive as she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “I won’t ever let you go. You’re safe with me, baby.” She continued to wash over your body, gently as if you were made of porcelain, leaving kisses on your skin every now and then.

She enjoyed pampering you like this, taking care of you in a way no one else ever has. She took her time washing your body, wanting to make sure every inch of you was clean. As she reached your thighs, she gave them a gentle squeeze, her hands roaming up and down your legs as she planted a few kisses on your neck.

You shuddered when she squeezed your thighs, loving every second of her warm touch. She smirked against your neck, enjoying your reaction to her touch. She wanted to go further but she stopped herself.

“Let’s get you ready for bed. We have a lot of things to do tomorrow.”

“Like what?” you asked, forgetting what she had said earlier. She chuckled at your question, gently nipping at your neck as she pulled away from you.

“Moving all your things in, silly. And I’m taking you shopping,” she teased, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around you before getting out of the tub and wrapping one around herself as well.

“Already? Isn’t it a bit soon? I wouldn’t want people to think I’m using you-“ she rolled her eyes as she dried herself off.

“Baby, I don’t care what other people think. They can think whatever they want,” she said, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up to look at her, “I only care about you.” She began to dry you off as well, being careful with your sensitive areas.

“…I don’t deserve you,” you whispered under your breath. She stopped drying you off when you spoke, her expression turning serious.

“Yes, you do,” she said firmly, her grip on your chin tightening ever so slightly, “You deserve the world, princess. Don’t you dare talk like that about yourself again because if you talk bad about yourself you’re talking bad about my baby girl and I don’t like that.”

“I promise I won’t,” you smiled at her motherly behavior, “Why are we going shopping though?” She returned your smile, her expression softening again.

“Because I want to show you off. To show everyone who you belong too,” she said with a possessive tone, “And I want to spoil you too. I want to buy you pretty things.”

“You don’t have to do that, Agatha-“ She silenced you by placing a finger over your lips, her gaze stern.

“Hush, I know I don’t have to but I want to. You’re my good girl and good girls get rewards, remember?” You nodded your head in agreement. She smirked, satisfied with your obedience. She ran her thumb over your bottom lip before pulling away and grabbing your hand.

“Good girl. Now come on, let's get you dressed. I want to talk to you about something,” she said, leading you out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

“About what?” you asked, sitting on the edge of the bed while she went to fetch something for you to wear in her closet. She rummaged through her closet, looking for a specific outfit she had in mind for you as well as for herself. After a few moments, she pulled out a lacy, pink nightgown and turned to look at you.

“I want to discuss boundaries and rules,” she said, holding up the nightgown for you to see.

“Rules?” She nodded as she helped you get dressed, her hands gently pulling the night gown over your body and smoothing it out once it was on. She stepped back to admire you, a pleased look on her face.

“Mhm, I want to set some ground rules for you to follow,” she said, her eyes raking over your body, taking in how good you looked in the night gown.

“Okay, what are they?” She smirked as she crawled into the bed, sitting up against the headboard and dragging you in between her legs.

“First rule, you listen to me. You do as I say, no questions asked. You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” she asked as wrapped her arms around your waist.

“I am.”

“Mm, that’s what I thought,” she hummed, her hands slowly running up and down your thighs as she spoke, “Second rule, you are not allowed to touch yourself without my permission. Understood?” Your face immediately flushed at her statement but you nodded either way. She chuckled at your flushed expression, loving the effect she had on you. She moved her hand to your chin and tilted your head back so you were looking up at her.

“Rule number three, I will be picking out your outfits from now on,” she said, gently pinching your thigh. You hummed in thought. You didn’t mind at all, it would actually be helpful not having to stress about what you would wear.

She smirked as you hummed, knowing you liked the idea of her picking out your outfits for you. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your neck, her hand still resting on your thigh, drawing small circles on your skin with her thumb.

“Rule four, you will be sleeping in my bed from now on,” she whispered in your ear, her tone low and commanding.

“I can get used to that,” you muttered. She chuckled again, amused by your obedience and compliance. She gently bit down on your neck, leaving a small mark on your skin as she continued to draw patterns on your thigh with her fingers.

“Good girl. I knew you would,” she praised, her hand slowly moving higher up your thigh, inching closer to your inner thigh.

“Any more rules?” You asked. She hummed in thought as she continued to leave small marks on your neck, enjoying the way your skin bruised so easily. She gently pushed your thighs apart, her hand resting on your inner thigh now.

“Just one more,” she said before nibbling on your earlobe, “You belong to me now, princess. Your body is mine and only mine.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you pulled her into another kiss. She smiled into the kiss, her tongue slipping into your mouth as she grabbed your thighs and pushed you back onto the bed, pinning you down beneath her.

“Mommy I want you,” you begged. She smirked down at you, loving the way you begged for her. She leaned down and nipped at your bottom lip before speaking in a teasing tone.

“I know you do but it’s time for bed.”

“But mommy-“ you whined. She laughed at your whine, clearly amused by your pouty expression.

“No buts, princess. What was rule number one?” She questions firmly, her grip on your thighs tightening ever so slightly.

“…To do as you say, no questions asked.”

“Mhm, exactly. We have an early day tomorrow,” she said, not giving into your adorable pout as she pulled away to tuck you in.

“I love you, Aggie,” you looked at her lovingly. She smiled down at you, her heart melting at your words. She reached down and gently caressed your cheek, her expression softening.

“I love you too, baby. Now get some sleep,” she said before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Taglist; @polaris-likethestar @wandasreallover @oh-no-bummer @phixiesworld @eliscannotdance @venomhimbo @aka-patsy @scoliobean @chlondykebar @marvelwomenarehot0 @mgruiz @daenerys713

[bittersw33t-lotus]

Little Life

Ghosting Series pt. 3

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem! Reader

Cw: pregnancy stuff, reader is female, cursing (let me know I I missed anything)

A/N: sorry if this is very short the chapters may be pretty short just so my motivation to keep writing can stay.

Part 2 here

“Alright hon, if you can lay on the bed and lift you shirt over you belly please.” Dr. Raven says, the woman pointing to the dull looking patient bed with thin paper lining fitted over the top.

You follow her words and sit down on the bed, the cushion was surprisingly comfortable to sit on. You bring your shirt up over your stomach stopping at your rib cage and lay back waiting for Raven to prepare for the scanning. You watch as she brings out a plastic bottle you assumed was the gel, as she opened the plastic cap as she looks at you. “Okay, I’m going to put this on your abdomen. Be prepared, this will be cold.” She says as she squeezes the bottle over your stomach, the bright translucent blue gel slithers out the opening and trails down towards your stomach.

The moment it makes contact with your skin, your stomach retracted back at the cold viscous material. You shudder a breath and laugh a bit. “You weren’t lying.” You joked as Raven smiled and chucked at your response.

“Always takes them by surprise.” She says before she finishes squeezing the bottle, pulling it away and closing the cap back on. Placing it down on the table beside her she grabs the transducer clicking a few buttons and the screen turns on. She places the nub against your abdomen and spread the gel around your stomach and looks at the screen seeing the scan coming through as she adjusts it to hover where your uterus is.

You watch the screen feeling a bit anxious as you watch trying to figure out exactly what you were seeing, after a couple seconds you soon immediately spot a little white blob. A baby.

“There it is. Your baby.” She tells you as you stare at the screen in awe. That’s really inside you. Your baby slowly growing by the second, yours and Simon’s baby.

“So tiny.” You say as Dr. Raven nods to your words.

“You’re only eight weeks currently, it looks like you and the baby are doing just fine so far, baby is healthy and growing, overall you’re both doing great. I’ll provide you with some prenatal vitamins for you to take. I did notice in your readings, your blood pressure is a bit high than we’d like it to be so I need you to make sure you’re not overworking yourself, do more things to keep you calm and not focus and do things that cause you such distress if that’s possible. Other than that, you’re all set and good to go. Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Raven says as she takes a few pictures of the scan to print out for you.

You breathe out in relief, the baby is all good. You figured the high blood pressure was definitely caused by the whole situation with Simon so you don’t know how you can make yourself forget about it, on top of that you’ve also been worried about finding a place to live and trying to figure out your financial situation now with Simon out of the picture. You take a deep breath and nod at Dr. Ravens advice. “I’ll be sure not to.” You tell her with a small smile as she hands you a paper towel to wipe off the gel, which you take.

“Would you be comfortable with telling me about the cause for your mental or physical wellbeing may be? Anything that maybe I could help you with if possible.” She asks you; you can spot the concern in her eyes when she brings it up.

You shake your head and ignore the feeling you felt as she brings it up but regardless you smile and shake your head. “Just trying to deal with not having the father in the picture. He decided he didn't want to be around." You tell her as she nods, understanding your words.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She tells you as you simply shrug your shoulders pulling you shirt back down.

"it's fine, think we'll be better off without him anyways.” You tell her. It's true, to an extent, at least that’s what keep telling yourself. You know you can do this all on your own. It won't be easy, but you hope you can manage. But deep down, you know you'll never be okay not having him by your side. He’ll miss out on so much, like watching your baby grow, learning and growing along with the baby as that baby also learns from you. You both won’t grow old together like you both wanted, with a bunch of animals, but with the baby included, maybe one or two more if things had worked out in the end.

You finish up the remaining paper work you had to sign and received your vitamins. Dr. Raven hands the ultrasound pictures to you in a white envelope and you make your way back to the lobby where Jared waited, still sitting and reading the pamphlets. He looks up as he notices you approaching and smiles as he stands up. “How’d it go?” He asks you.

You hold up the envelope with a smile. “It was great, got to see the baby, doctor said that they’re healthy and everything looks good thankfully. Just have to focus on not stressing myself out so much.” You tell him as you both make your way out of the building and into the parking lot.

“That’s great to hear. I’m sure Stacy already told you but she has a surprise in stock for you but she’s wondering if you have anything nice to wear.” He asks you as you approach the car.

Opening the car door you think for a minute before you nodded. “Yeah, I should.” You tell him. You’re sure you can find something. You took everything with you when you left Simon’s place, all your things are still in boxes save for the necessities that you need, but you’re sure you can find something.

On the drive back you spent the entire car ride back home staring and looking at the ultrasound picture, the little blob that you still couldn’t grasp was your baby, just still needed some more months to grow before you can meet them and that made you anxious. You don’t think you could wait that long.

“What’re you hoping for?” Jared asks you, steering the wheel as he switches to the next lane, glancing at the photos in your hand.

You think about it for a moment, it hasn’t crossed your mind surprisingly. Either one would be great, there was a moment where you dreamt of having a baby girl with Simon. You can’t lie, the sight of Simon being a girl dad made you all giddy and warm. Then thinking about a little boy, one that looked like a copy and paste of Simon would be so cute. You smile as the possibilities ran through your head, of course you’re just being delusional, you wouldn’t be able to see that happen ever. Just a thought in the back of your mind.

“Honestly either would be great. I don’t mind what I have, as long as the baby is healthy that’s enough for me.” You say tucking the photos into your purse, holding it close to you.

Jared smiled and nodded. “Sounds great, you’ll make a great mother. I’m sure of it.” He says to you as you smile, the reassurance from Jared was something you didn’t know you needed but greatly appreciated.

“Thanks.” You say to him, before you know it you’ve finally made it back home.

Once you arrived home you got out the car and walked into the house. Right away Stacy approached you with a smile.

“How’d it go?” She asks you as she gets up from the soft couch and walking over towards you and Jared.

You pull out the envelope and pull out the multiple pictures and hand them out for her. Upon seeing them she awe’s as she examined the little bean like fetus. “Little baby.” She coos before looking at you. “How far along are you?” She asks you.

“Eight weeks. I’ll be able to see the baby’s gender by fourteen weeks.” You tell her as she hands back the photos to you. Placing them in you bag you can see Stacy smile as she walks towards the island counter of in the kitchen. “Oh, what was that surprise you had in store?” You ask her.

She props herself up on the counter with her elbows and looks at the time. “We decided to treat you to dinner tonight. We have a reservation set for six tonight. You feeling up for it?” She asks you.

You take a moment to think and nod your head a bit excited to hear you’ll be eating at a restaurant feeling your hormones go crazed at the thought of food. “Yeah, I’ll get ready now.” You tell her with a wide smile. You haven’t eaten out at a restaurant in a long time. Last time you went was with Simon for the last anniversary together.

Making your way to your ‘room’ you take out a box with your fancier clothes. Opening the box you pull out multiple tops, bottoms, and dresses. Finally choosing one you like you slip the dress on and admire yourself in the mirror. You bump is bulging out a bit, you take the time to admire it.

You took the time to shower, do your make up and get dressed right on time. Stacy looked at your outfit as you did a 360 showing off your outfit. “You’re not even half way into pregnancy and already look like a milf.” Stacy jokes, you laugh as you grab your purse.

“Don’t tell me lies Stace.” You tell her as she shrugs her shoulder.

“I only tell the truth.” She says as you both walk out the door and towards the already running car where Jared sat in waiting for you two.

“Fuckin’ hell.”

A click from the lock sounds from the front door as it swings open. Simon’s bulking frame walks through the door as he scans the house. It’s dark and eerily silent.

When Simon came back, he felt like shit. His heart dreaded coming home to see your answer. He hoped you stayed, at least long enough till he came back, he planned to move out the house and leave it for you if you decided to keep the baby. It would give him a peace of mind to know where you were and know that you and the kid were safe, and you could use the extra room and space for the baby. But, even if you got rid of it, he doesn’t know if your relationship could ever be the same.

However your answer was first made clear when your car not in the drive way. His heart dropped but he took a deep breath, ‘Maybe she’s at the store.’ He thought. He hadn’t texted you either to let him know he was coming home today, he couldn’t bring himself too.

You’re not here. It’s something Simon suspected but he still feels dread overcome him as he steps into the house and notices the little things around the house that belonged to you were gone. Your shoes were gone, your car keys, the blanket you left on the couch is gone. He walks into your shared bedroom, which is now his bedroom, opening the door and he’s stunned with how much of an eye sore it is. His room is so plain now, like how it looked before you moved in with him.

He remembers how much you wanted to decorate the place, especially the bedroom, you hated how lifeless the whole house looked. It didn’t take much to convince him to let you decorate saying , “Go crazy.” And you did. Literally. You decorated adding a touch of you but keeping it to an extent to not overwhelm Simon. You hung up a few decorations and posters in the bed room of bands you and Simon both loved. A few shelves displaying your books and trinkets. Your touch added to his home making it more like home for him. Like you were his home. He liked, loved it if he dare say, he worried you would over do the place but it look perfect. Like you.

But now as he looked around the house, he sees the walls are bare and plain. He feels plain now, empty. Sad. He looks through your closet and drawers only to find them completely bare and empty.

He walks into the living room notices your shoes are gonna as well from the rack, and the little table beside the front door, he noticed the white folded paper on the little ceramic plate that held their keys, walking over he pick up the paper seeing his name written on it in your hand writing, unfolding it reveals page with your writing inked into the material.

‘I know we made a promise but this is something that takes two to do, accidents happen and I know you never wanted children and you knew it was still on the table for me, I’m thankful that you gave me a choice, even if it wasn’t easy. I don’t want to drag you into something you never wanted but it still hurts that I have to chose between you and this baby. I figured it was best for the both of us if I left, you can keep your home and I can keep my baby. I hope you stay safe out there Simon and please take care of yourself. I still and always will love you and I’m sorry.’ Simon checked the back of the paper for anything else but it was empty. You didn’t say where or what you were going to do and it scared Simon. Were you safe, do you have a place to stay, do you have people to help?

He knew you weren’t really in any contact with your family, your only friends were Johnny, Gaz, and Price. His ‘friends’ were yours. For the most part Simon knew you didn’t have anyone to help you or look after you and the baby. “Fuck!”

Taglist <3

@wise-owl @sandyseagullsip @mileyraes @nicolebarnes @nikkyevansdochen22 @mattmurdock-wife24 @demonking-69 @mooievis @lunamoonbby @cherrycosmos392 @eevee-of-eternity @makimamybelovedwife @venavanup @amberpanda99 @simplyymee98 @callmeluno @stormy-stardust @ssc7514 @badbitchthings @moldypeaching @asteria33 @going-through-shit @blarba-girl @leonsgirlie @andoraamore @nobodycanknoww @thegreyjoyed @natashamea18 @kylies-love-letter @blackhawkfanatic @leehoonii-i @xenop0p @sh1ga-to3s

[shyfoxsky]

I really think that the therian community needs more essays on former trends and general forms of conduct, because I've said it before and will continue to say it, but the way the community was structured in the mid to late 2010s when I was first awakened was fun and exciting and helped me really find the good in my identity, but also was extremely toxic, judgy, and detrimental to my overall journey.

In my first few years in the community, I was embraced into a corner of the internet that was all about animals and the ethical treatment of them and appreciating and worshipping nature as we all considered ourselves more a part of it than "others". I was also dragged by my tail into a corner of the internet that forced me to give up every single personal, little detail about my personal identity and how I felt about it and the step-by-step of how I got there just to be allowed to speak.

That community both sang the praises of wolf therians, put them on a pedestal, to the point that it felt like they were above all other 'types, while also simultaneously tearing down anyone who questioned wolves, especially certain coat colors, to the point that you had to defend a master's thesis in front of a panel of graymuzzles for anyone to allow you the label "wolf therian". From day one, you were conditioned to believe there was no fun and intimate community, no pack meets, no content for you, unless you were a gray wolf, but you had to be educated on par with the top experts in the world on both identity and the species to not be considered "another kid that likes wolves". If you were anything else, you were an outcast in a world of outcasts. You were just "trying to be unique". You never got edits, outfits, etc. without asking creator accounts for them yourself. The community's terminology was structured around wolves. Howls, packs, etc. You either had to accept that you were going to be outnumbered in any close-knit small group you joined, if you were even allowed and it wasn't "wolves only", or, you could make a group designed around 'types similar to yours, which would never be found by others like you, and would quickly only become a failed idea.

That community is what led to my complicated and painful feelings towards wolves. For the rest of my life, no matter what happens, I will always have doubt in my identity because of it all. I will either be a wolf who believes I'm one because of the community's influence, or I won't and will believe I'm not because I want to escape the stereotypes that come with being a wolf.

That community also was riddled with rigid, unspoken rules about what was and wasn't an acceptable therian identity. I never heard of systems during that time, never saw anyone identify solely psychologically, and no one identified only because they felt like that creature. Back then, you were a standard therian with a single 'type, maybe a second if you'd been researching and journaling every single day without fail for more than a year with statistics to back it up. You had a reason for your identity, but it couldn't just be that you imprinted on your pets as a child (that's not enough), or that it developed from trauma or autism (therianthropy isn't a mental illness), or that you simply feel that way (you're just a wolfaboo). You had to be a misplaced soul, someone with past lives, on rare occasions, you could be a permanent walk-in spirit (but definitely not in a plural way). Don't even get me started on the idea of polymorphs, conceptkin, etc.

I personally feel like a standard therian, but to this day, I still question the origin of my identity. So much of my identity as a red wolf hinged on it being endangered and from my area, because then I could be a misplaced soul due to there not being enough bodies for red wolves to be born into. When I first awakened, I thought my identity came from a past life, even though I personally don't believe I can ever find out what those were, if I even have any. Later on, when I realized being raised with dogs and always seeing and being compared to canines likely had something to do with it, and I considered it to have come from imprinting, I still felt as if I was required to find some spiritual side to it as well. I still struggle with this, to the point that I barely know what I believe in afterlife-wise anymore, and I certainly don't understand what led to my identity, if something even led to it at all.

Those kinds of things needs to be discussed more, because to an extent, I feel like it's still present, both in the same and different ways. The newly-awakened alterhumans of today, yesterday, and tomorrow, all deserve to have a truly accepting space to figure themselves out without pressure to conform to an unspoken standard of how one should identify. Tumblr is better about it than most sites, but ones like TikTok might set things back, if they haven't already, despite the attempts of well-meaning individuals who are trying to break through the algorithm and educate others. I just think more discussions need to be had and more perspectives and experiences need to be shared for the sake of awareness and making sure damaging practices don't continue forever.

[crazy-pages]

Okay but you know what? I've seen a lot of suicide activism, and attended training sessions on how to help people back from the edge, and for godsake my mom is a psychologist and my sister lost both of her best friends to suicide when she was a kid. This isn't exactly a topic I'm unfamiliar with.

And yet this brings up something incredibly obvious which I haven't seen pointed out before. Which is that behavioral modifications which motivate people to stop a maladaptive behavior are very ineffective unless you replace that behavior with something positive that gets the same benefits (in the case of suicide attempts, an undeniable signal that you need help and your situation is unendurable and/or relief from the unenderuable).

This is extremely well known when it comes to substance abuse. Like, it's not enough to just tell somebody to stop drinking. People drink for reasons, from enabling emotional vulnerability to numbing pain to soothing sensory distress to emotional coping, the list goes on. So interventions oriented around just getting people to stop don't work great. You need to remove the need for drinking as a coping mechanism by replacing it with alternative forms of management, ones which aren't just stoicism.

And when possible, this does mean removing the underlying cause of those symptoms. Help someone who's lonely find friends, get someone with an infected tooth dental care, etc. And obviously suicide interventions focus on this. But! There's another component. Which is that you can't just treat the cause, you also actually have to improve the symptom management, even if you can treat the cause.

Because nobody isn't lonely at some point in their lives, people with chronic pain issues can't just fix their pain and they may have flare-ups, people with sensory issues can't just manage their environment - sometimes they have to go to the airport or something. And when somebody has alcohol or other substance abuse as a learned coping mechanism for that which they know works, relapse in the face of external stressors can be a constant looming possibility. You can't just treat the underlying cause, you need to help people develop other release valves for that shit. Even other maladaptive ones, so long as they aren't addictive and aren't as bad as the substance abuse.

And like. Yeah. Holy shit. How did it never occur to me, and how did I either miss or never run into this concept, that you don't just need to handle underlying issues when it comes to suicidal ideation. You need to develop an alternate mechanism for cries for help!

And yeah, that mechanism can be pissing yourself!!

im

[luckykiwiii101]

YOU ARE VOID

(Your Power Is Beyond Human Comprehension)

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

ィI made something that’ll love me, even with my flaws⠀࿐

Hey Upper East Siders. You are many things, disappointing, frustrating, the polar opposite of persistent, and pitiful. Did that trigger you…? Well I hope it did. Because you better not have listened to an outsider to tell you who you are.

But if there’s one thing I can tell you about yourself, it’s that you are the void. You are everything. But you act like the opposite. Nothing. But you know why. As i’ve said before, that feeling always comes from somewhere. And it’s not coming from inside the house, it’s coming from the outside. And you keep letting it in. Doors wide open, arms wide open and mouth wide open when you realise you didn’t get what you wanted. How…familiar? You’ve been living this on loop for years.

“S-s-so h-how d-do I s-s-s-s-stop-p g-gos-s-sip-p g-g-g-irl?🥺 I-I’m s-so h-h-help-pless-s-s a-and-d c-c-an’t-t p-pers-sist t-to s-save m-my li-ife. *sucks thumb in stupidity*” …

You know what i’m going to tell you. Identify with your inner self, persist blah blah blah. And yes that is exactly what I would tell you. But this post is for the upper east siders who actually get the point. Now let me get to it. This post is about feeling that you are the void and the creator of your life. Want to induce pure consciousness? Want to wake up “there” in the void? Want to exercise your full power? This is how.

Break out of all bounds created by your human limitations. Want to know why you manifest instantly “in” the void state? Because that’s when you are purely just you. In that state, you are purely you. That is who you truly are. And that is the who I am talking about when I say the “inner self”. Completely detached from the physical world. And that is who you go back to every time you imagine. That is who has it.

Now I want to help you intensify this feeling, make it easier to navigate. Really understand it. Making your desires feel less “out of reach” and “extraordinary”. It’ll help you make your desires feel a lot more natural to you, including inducing the void state and waking up in it. In your purest state. Here’s how.

DO IT NOW:

Close your eyes. Focus on just being. Focus on just being aware. Being conscious. Focus on feeling limitless. Free from all physical “limitations”. Now focus on feeling all powerful. Feel that you can do absolutely anything, feel anything, create anything. That is the real you. Not the outer you.

Infact, there is no “outer you”. There is only the inner you. The outer you is your physical body, the one who is being perceived by others. The inner you can only be perceived by you. Can only be defined by you. And only you.

This is the feeling I meant to talk about when I said “go back to imagination and start with the feeling that you can have whatever you want there.”

Start with this feeling that you are limitless and powerful. Feel that you are the void. Remember who you are, and then imagine whatever you want. That is when you become unstoppable.

I’ve given you all the information you need. Now it’s all on you. What are you going to do? Who are you going to be? XOXO

- gossip girl

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

[theuniverseisscreaming]

Eddie as an Unreliable Narrator

I want to expand a little on something I talked about over on twitter, which is the concept of Eddie as an unreliable narrator and how this has kept him from confronting his sexuality.

Before the inevitable “Eddie said he was heterosexual, he’s a straight man,” in the comments, I’ll just say that we already know gay Eddie has been a consideration from LFJR confirming it was originally going to be Tommy and Eddie together, never mind all the queer coding to date in Eddie’s general storyline. If you choose to take Eddie’s words at face value, that’s fine, you do you! This post will get into why I don’t. 

Eddie tells Father Brian that he doesn’t believe that he deserves to be forgiven, so when he sees him again, he recognizes Eddie’s decision to pick the healthier, less fun beverage for what it is: Eddie depriving himself of one of the small joys there are to be found in life. He confronts him on this, asking why he changed his mind, and Eddie looks genuinely perplexed. “…decided I wanted water?” 

“See, I think that you were punishing yourself. I think that you were denying yourself because you don’t feel worthy right now.” You can tell that Eddie thinks this is a crock of shit and that the priest doesn’t understand him at all - right up until he says Eddie doesn’t feel worthy of joy. 

Eddie tries to deflect by saying he doesn’t have a lot to feel joyful about, and in doing so he is denying the accusation by saying it’s not about what he feels he’s worthy of. There just isn’t a lot of joy in his life to be had right now. The priest challenges this perspective by putting a positive spin on all of the negative things Eddie lists, and in doing so, removes the excuse Eddie is using to avoid confronting that this is about him punishing himself. That he has been punishing himself, and it’s not clear yet how far back this behaviour actually goes. 

Because here’s the thing: Eddie thinks the water is just water. He doesn’t understand the subconscious compulsion behind it, because this is something he has been doing for so long it no longer feels abnormal. At some point, he started depriving himself of enjoying the little things in life as a way of punishing himself whenever he felt like he wasn’t living up to expectations, whenever he thought he was failing someone. The question is, when did it start, and what was the first thing he felt he deserved punishment for? 

When Father Brian identifies the mustache as a disguise he asks Eddie what he thinks he’ll see when he looks in the mirror without it, and Eddie says he thinks he’ll see a failure, a man who doesn’t deserve the joy he’s been depriving himself of. In a way, he is trying to become someone else to avoid confronting the person that he actually is, and the reason he feels he’s failed. 

This isn’t really something new: Shannon dies, and Eddie joins an illegal fight club where physical pain becomes an outlet for the anger and frustration he’s feeling. Chris is afraid of losing another parent, so Eddie deprives himself of the job that gives his life meaning outside of being Christopher’s dad rather than trying to find another solution. None of this is even taking into account the relationships he forces himself into because he feels he needs to find a replacement mother for Chris, and how forcing himself into that box he so clearly does not want for himself is just another way of depriving himself of joy. 

Father Brian tells Eddie that God has already forgiven him for his mistakes, but here’s the thing: Eddie doesn’t give a shit about God’s forgiveness, not really. The forgiveness Eddie is trying to earn isn’t even just Christopher’s - it’s his own, too. And he doesn’t know how to do that, because he doesn’t know how to love himself. The only part of himself he’s ever tried to love - being a father - has been irreparably damaged in his eyes. So how does he come back from that? How does he get back to a point where he feels deserving of being Christopher’s dad again? 

What’s interesting to me is that I do believe Christopher is the one bit of joy Eddie’s allowed himself up until now. His birth is the only time during Eddie’s entire marriage with Shannon that we see him actually happy, and this is one of the first examples of Eddie being an unreliable narrator that we have in the show because he acts like this wasn’t the case. 

Yet he was visibly unhappy for every part of his marriage we were shown, and by his own admission joining the army was just as much about running from it as it was about providing for his own family. He is unable to define what Shannon means to him, and he says he loved being married to her rather than saying he loved her. But in Shannon’s death, Eddie has romanticized her image so much that when Kim asks if she was the love of his life, he says he thinks she was. 

If Chris represents one of the sole joys Eddie has allowed himself in life, then Shannon is the reason he has received it, and the guilt he feels for letting her down - for not loving her the way he should, for not being able to be there for her, for not being able to save her despite that being his job - is so immense he can’t possibly imagine atoning for it. And to understand his guilt, we have to confront the reason he wasn’t able to be the husband he felt she deserved. 

See, we could maybe argue that Eddie didn’t initially try to reconcile with Shannon while she was alive because he felt guilty for pushing her away, except when he has a moment to get back together, he chokes. He can’t answer her when she asks what she means to him, and the fact that she even has to ask tells the audience that she isn’t sure of his feelings, even though they’ve been actively sleeping together again and spending time together as a family. He is only able to make an offer of commitment when she thinks she is pregnant again, a repeat of how they got married in the first place, and I think that’s what ultimately answers her question. She is the mother of his child, not the love of his life, but to Eddie, Chris is the real love and joy of his life, so the two kind of feel like the same thing. 

We have seen in Bobby’s storyline a widow with a tremendous amount of guilt move on and find his happily ever after. Bobby actually plays a role in the death of his wife and children, and he grapples with his guilt and suicidal tendencies because of it, but he is still able to heal as much as one can from such a trauma and fall in love with Athena. 

In contrast, Eddie shows no interest in finding another relationship until he is prompted by others. When he does try to date, he has to fake his way through two separate relationships where he just couldn’t love them the way he thought he should. He tried to - he wanted to. It would have been easier for him, and for Chris, if he could have. 

There’s nothing objectively wrong with either of the women, he seems to enjoy their company and he finds them to be pretty, but it just isn’t enough. On top of that, he admits dating has always felt like a performance, which you can especially see in his relationship with Ana where he just doesn’t seem entirely like himself. He’s the image of the man he thinks she wants him to be, because he doesn’t want another repeat of his relationship with Shannon where he always fell short of what she wanted and needed. He’s the “perfect boyfriend,” except for the part where he doesn’t feel the same about her at all. 

Marisol is a little different. While her development is limited, she’s got a more laid-back personality that is closer to Eddie’s own, and arguably she should be a good fit. Marisol feels a bit like what Eddie’s idealized relationship with Shannon was like, and that’s what makes it so very interesting when Eddie blows it all up by going out with Shannon’s doppelganger. Their relationship is an emotional affair, and Eddie admits it isn’t sex that he wants with her which is interesting because we know he and Marisol are no longer being intimate. The truth is, he doesn’t know what it is he wants from Kim, or frankly Marisol - just like he didn’t know with Shannon. 

Unfortunately, before figuring it out he pays for his sin of lying to everyone - to Chris, to Buck, and to Marisol - by getting caught in the worst possible way and traumatizing Chris in the process. We know this is how he feels from his actual confession to Father Brian, and I think to him it is the worst of all the sins he feels he’s committed because the only way he has been able to make up for everything else up until now is by being the best parent he possibly can. In a way, he has been trying to heal his own childhood trauma by breaking the cycle of toxic parenting, and giving Chris the life he never got to have.

So to Eddie, traumatizing Chris is his greatest failure, and he doesn’t know how to recover from it because he still doesn’t understand why he got involved with Kim in the first place. It’s not just that he missed Shannon, or he would be able to explain that. It goes back to what Eddie says to Kim moments before Chris walks in - that he feels broken, and like he can’t fix it. This feeling is only compounded by the fear that he has ruined his relationship with his son forever. 

The conversation with Father Brian tells us that Eddie is hiding from himself and that he is denying himself of his desires as some kind of penance. The priest recognizes this and he recognizes that Eddie doesn’t want the cop-out of being forgiven on behalf of God. He is someone who needs to feel they have actually earned it, and that’s okay - just as long as he remembers that in order to take care of others, he has to take care of himself, too. More than that, he’s directed to do something fun just for himself, and those Catholic rituals that are still part of him even if he doesn’t believe in them take over and allow him to do just that. 

There’s something really beautiful about the same institution that led to Eddie and Shannon getting married too young being what kick-starts his journey of self discovery. It was never about rediscovering religion - he was never religious to begin with. It was always about going back to that old wound and finally healing from everything that followed. It was about reclaiming the childhood he lost from growing up too fast. But mostly, it was about being told he is allowed to focus on his needs sometimes, too. 

[capquinn]

Hi!!! Can we daydream about Quinn with his gf/wife and little kids at family skate, and he is so sweet and has fun with the kids but then he also spends time just skating with his girl and just how adorable it would all be

The rink is buzzing with laughter and chatter, a lively hum that echoes across the ice as families skate together under the bright, friendly glow of the arena lights. It’s a Canucks family skate, and the atmosphere is nothing short of joyful chaos. Around you, players glide alongside their partners and children, laughter and the occasional squeal of excitement filling the air as little ones attempt their first steps on the ice, bundled up in tiny team jerseys, their skates barely steady on the surface.

You linger by the boards, your baby boy nestled in the crook of your arm, his gaze fixed intently on the skaters zooming past, his eyes wide with wonder. He’s completely captivated, his little neck craning as he tries to take in every bit of movement. Every now and then, he lets out an excited coo, his small hands flailing and reaching as if he wants to join in, enchanted by the way everyone glides over the ice.

Around the rink, you spot a few familiar faces — teammates sharing laughs with their families, some holding hands with their significant others, others carefully guiding their wobbly-legged kids in little skates, everyone wrapped up in the warmth of the moment. You can see Brock pulling his young niece around the ice, her giggles ringing out as he lifts her up to help her “fly.” Nearby, Elias is gliding hand in hand with his girlfriend, and every now and then, he spins her around, both of them laughing in easy, joyful abandon.

But your eyes keep drifting back to Quinn, who’s just a few feet away, moving slowly across the ice with your three-year-old daughter. She’s bundled in her Canucks beanie and a tiny jersey, her skates clumsy but determined as she tries to match her dad’s easy, practiced rhythm. Quinn holds both of her hands, his head bent as he whispers something encouraging to her, laughing softly as her little legs flail with each wobbly attempt to glide.

He glances over at you, a wide grin spreading across his face as he meets your eyes, sharing in the hilarity of your daughter’s determined yet wobbly attempts. You catch his look and laugh, sharing an amused shake of your head. He’s practically beaming, every inch the proud, doting dad, and he keeps pointing things out to her, like, “see, you’re skating just like daddy!”

Your daughter giggles, her gaze flickering over to you, and she waves a little hand, calling out, “mommy, look! I’m skating!”

You give her an encouraging wave back, smiling.

“You’re doing so good!” you call out, even as you stay firmly planted by the boards, not entirely confident in your skating skills while holding a baby.

“Come on, mommy!” She beckons, twisting her neck to look at you as her feet take her in the opposite direction. But Quinn’s grip on her is steady, and he’s there to keep her upright.

Quinn seems to sense your hesitation and guides your daughter to the boards for a quick break.

“You sure you don’t want to give it a try?” he teases, stopping just in front of you, an easy and familiar smile on his face.

Your gaze lingers on the ice, shifting your weight, holding the baby close, and he senses your hesitation. You don’t trust yourself not to fall. When catch you catch his eye, he gives you a soft, reassuring smile before bending down to steady your daughter, guiding her to stand firmly between his legs for balance.

“Stay right here, Bug,” he murmurs, letting go of her little hands once she’s stable. “I’ll take him,” he says without hesitation, and with a smooth motion, extends his arms to take the baby from you, the warmth in his eyes instantly putting you at ease.

You carefully hand your son over, watching as Quinn settles him into the crook of his arm with practiced ease. Against his chest, the baby looks even tinier, his round cheeks pink from the chill and his little eyes wide as he gazes up at his dad. His tiny knitted beanie is slightly askew, and you reach over to adjust it, tucking it snugly over his ears.

“All set?” you ask, smiling down at your baby boy as he wriggles in Quinn’s hold, seemingly content in his father’s arms.

Quinn nods, his eyes soft as he glances down at your daughter, who’s still holding her ground between his legs, balancing on her skates with a proud little grin. “Time to show mom how it’s done,” he tells her.

You kneel down, grinning as you hold your hands out to your daughter. “You ready, Bug?”

She nods enthusiastically, her small, gloved hands slipping into yours, her excitement almost tangible as she steadies herself, her eyes sparkling at the thought of being on the ice with both her mom and dad. You take a deep breath, feeling a rush of warmth and love as the four of you set out, moving as a little cluster of family, Quinn leading with careful, steady strides while you and your daughter follow close behind, each wobbly step punctuated with laughter and encouragement.

As you make your way towards center ice, a couple of Quinn’s teammates glide over, laughter in their eyes as they take in the sight of your little family on the ice. JT is among them, his own kids in tow, and your daughter’s face lights up the moment she spots him.

“Uncle J!” she calls out, waving her little mittened hand enthusiastically. Her balance wobbles, and whilst you’re grasping both hands, Quinn instinctively reaches out to steady her with a gentle hand on her back, grinning at her excitement.

JT chuckles, leaning down to your daughter’s level as he glides to a stop beside you all. “Look at you out here,” he says, eyes twinkling as he gives her a high five. “Practicing for the big leagues already?”

She giggles, puffing out her chest with pride as she says, “daddy’s teaching me!”

JT chuckles. “Alright, show me what you’ve got.”

She giggles again, letting go of one of your hands and wobbling a little as she lifts one skate, trying her best to glide.

JT laughs, clapping his hands. “You’re a natural.”

But before he can say more, your daughter tugs on your hand, her face bright with determination, fuelled by the compliment.

“C’mon, mommy, let’s go,” she urges, eager to keep moving and practicing, already pulling you along with her, her little legs working hard to stay upright.

You exchange a quick, amused look with JT, who winks at you, before you let your eldest lead the way, her enthusiasm carrying you across the ice.

Quinn takes a quick moment to adjust your son in his arm, proudly showing him off to JT, who leans in with a warm smile, giving the baby an affectionate wave. “Look at this little guy,” he chuckles, clearly charmed.

“Daddy!” your daughter calls, her voice bright and insistent, as if to say, Hurry up!

“Enjoy it,” JT says simply, his voice warm with understanding as he glances at Quinn with a knowing smile.

Quinn nods, a quiet, grateful look crossing his face, before he catches up to you and your daughter.

The rink is a blur of people around you, but in this moment, it feels like it’s just the four of you, taking your time and enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. Your daughter’s giggles echo as she finds her rhythm, her little legs wobbling but steadier than when she first began, each stride more confident than the last. Her grip loosens on your hands until, with a small, determined breath, she lets go, pushing forward on her own, her arms outstretched as she glides a few cautious feet ahead of you.

With your daughter skating just ahead, you lean into Quinn, wrapping a hand around his bicep, feeling the warmth and strength of him beneath your fingers. You rest your head on his shoulder, and he shifts slightly, his arm coming around to rest against your back, steering you gently as the two of you fall into a comfortable, slow pace behind her, perfectly content to just be here, watching her take these little steps of independence.

“She’s getting so big,” you murmur, a smile in your voice, though there’s a faint catch as you take in the sight of her moving so confidently ahead.

Quinn nods, his gaze fixed on her, his jaw tightening just slightly as his expression softens with quiet pride. “Yeah,” he murmurs, almost to himself, his voice carrying a quiet awe. “Look at her go.”

There’s a hint of wonder in his tone, as if he’s marveling at where the last three years have gone, his baby girl now a fierce, independent spirit with a strength all her own. He holds you a little closer, his hand warm and steady against your back, and for a moment, you both fall into silence, taking in the simple beauty of watching her grow.

But then, her skate catches a rough patch of ice, and her arms flail as she loses balance. For a split second, her expression shifts from confidence to a startled shock as she tips forward, her legs slipping out from under her.

The second Quinn sees her stumble, his whole body tenses. Without a word, he turns to you, carefully but swiftly handing over your son, his arms steady but urgent as he transfers the baby into your hold.

“You good?” he murmurs softly, his eyes meeting yours briefly, a flicker of worry crossing his face as he makes sure you’re steady.

Once satisfied, he’s back to her side in an instant, his strides quick and sure. He crouches down to her level, his hand already reaching out before she even has a chance to process what’s happened.

“Hey, Bug, you okay?” he asks, his voice warm and soothing, though you can catch the subtle glimmer of worry in his eyes as he scans her little face.

Your daughter blinks up at him, her eyes wide, looking more surprised than hurt. Quinn lets out a quiet breath, relief softening his expression, and he offers her a gentle smile, brushing a hand over her cheek.

“Just a little slip, huh?” he murmurs, his tone full of calm reassurance. “Daddy’s got you.”

She nods, a small, tentative smile forming as her fingers curl around his hand, finding comfort in his presence. Quinn helps her up, his hands gentle as he steadies her skates, keeping a close eye on her as she stands. He stays right by her side, his hand resting lightly on her back, offering that familiar, encouraging smile that seems to say, I’m right here.

As she takes a tentative step forward, he glances back at you, his expression softening as he catches your eye. You share a small, knowing smile, the both of you silently acknowledging the preciousness of this moment before Quinn shifts his full attention back to your daughter, ready to help her try again.

With a little encouragement from Quinn, your daughter finds her balance once more, her determination quickly returning as she gives skating another try. She beams up at him, her confidence growing with each little glide, and Quinn chuckles softly, staying close as she takes her next careful steps forward.

Just as you’re all settling back into the rhythm, one of the team photographers skates over with a warm smile, camera in hand. “Mind if I grab a quick family photo?” he asks, nodding towards your little family.

Quinn glances at his daughter, his eyes bright with that familiar, playful glint. “What do you think, Bug?” he says. “Wanna take a picture?”

She giggles, nodding eagerly, and Quinn leans down, scooping her up with ease.

With your daughter perched securely in Quinn’s arms, her little hands wrapped around his neck and her head leaning happily against his shoulder, you feel the warmth of his free arm slipping around your waist, drawing you in close. Your baby boy is snug in your arms, his tiny eyes wide with fascination as he stares up at his dad.

The team photographer raises his camera. “Alright, you all ready?“

Quinn chuckles, looking at you with a familiar smile before turning his gaze to your daughter, who beams up at him, her little face alight with pure happiness. “Smile big, Bug,” he says, giving her a gentle squeeze, which makes her giggle, her tiny hand reaching to hold onto his cheek.

As the photographer counts down, Quinn’s grip around your waist tightens slightly, pulling you in until you’re all snug together, a little family unit beaming with laughter and joy. Your daughter giggles just as the camera clicks, and Quinn glances down at you, eyes shining with a quiet happiness.

The photographer snaps a few more shots, capturing every detail: Quinn’s protective hold on both you and your daughter, the little one nestled close against your shoulder, and the pure joy radiating from each of you. It’s a snapshot of a moment you know you’ll cherish forever — the four of you, sharing a perfect, happy moment on the ice, a memory of love and warmth that will stay with you always.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

requests are open - let’s daydream!

[katyspersonal]

I really hate every single moron who acts as though cis men or white people or heteros are inherently evil and harmful people that should let the "systemically oppressed ones" walk all over them and live in the perpetual state of paying for the sins of their ancestors that they have nothing to do with besides shared identity/race/etc. 🙄

Whoever must hear it, you do NOT get to treat someone as guilty for who they were born as and then, after those alt-rights treat those you dehumanized like human beings, act as though them joining those alt-rights "proved the point". You can't seriously claim that the only """good""" cis hets whites or any other category of humans you deemed harmful by definition are those who just let someone mistreat them on the excuse of those mistreating them being hurt. Besides, the demand to "turn the other cheek" and always excuse literal abuser because they must have it worse, the being hated for being born who you are, the feeling that if you hate yourself enough you might atone for the sin of being you....

....isn't it all EXACTLY something that traumatized so many of us? How can you claim to fight the beasts when you've became a beast yourself? Think about it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[kyra-cooneyx]

If i can combine two prompts: “I’m wearing your shirt if that’s fine!” and "Can you do my sunscreen please?" with lia wälti if that's alright? Maybe a beach day with the team, bonus points if they are not dating yet

life’s a beach - l.wälti x reader

“if you hit me one more time with that ball mccabe, i will murder you!”

with one last firm glare, you slid the sunglasses back onto your face. laura and leah were chattering quietly beside you, the majority of the team choosing to relax in the sun alongside you.

arsenal’s pre-season was starting in portugal and eventually katie had rounded up some of the other girls to play a few games of rounders. the group surrounding you dwindled until the only remaining were the acl crew, victoria, and lia.

much to your surprise, katie did leave you alone and you flipped onto your stomach with a sigh, reaching into your bag and pulling out your bottle of sun cream.

you sat up and applied more to the front of your body, eyes darting around your scattered teammates to find one that was free. you caught lia’s eyes and gave her a small smile. “can you do my sun cream please?”

there was a little tense moment and for a second you regretted asking her. you could’ve interrupted leah’s conversation, you could’ve launched the bottle at kyra as a question, you could’ve—

“yeah.” lia gently took the bottle and pulled you from your thoughts.

you turned to make it easier to her and when you felt her hands on your back, you convinced yourself that the heat you could feel on your face was definitely due to the sun.

kyra grinned at you from where katie had her stand, expertly dodging the rolled up towel you threw at her and proceeding to throw it back. it hit you in the chest and you fell back with a dramatic yelp, knocking laura’s bottle from her hand and almost squashing poor lia.

you scrambled to your feet and charged kyra, the youngest australian only laughed and had you pinned to the sand in seconds.

“get off.”

“no. in fact i think i’ll let katie bury you in the sand so i can tell lia how you feel.”

you wriggled frantically. “you will not.”

“someone has to.”

“i will kyra, just not right now. at least give me until we go back to london so that we’re not all trapped in an enclosed space.”

the puppy dog eyes worked. kyra nodded with a sigh and stood, pulling you up with her. you somehow got roped into the next game and found yourself on the winning team.

unfortunately katie was on the other team.

you only managed to rub your victory in her face for a mere five seconds before she hauled you up and dragged you towards the ocean, everyone else watching in amusement as you begged and pleaded.

the water was freezing and despite the hot sun, you still shivered as you re-emerged, walking slowly with a jutted lip towards the calmer group.

“we’re at the beach mate,” leah waved you off as you unceremoniously dropped onto a towel and dried yourself off. “we were bound to go into the water eventually.”

“yeah when i’m not fully dressed.”

“i’m sure you’ll live.”

you gave leah a dirty look and settled again, watching the game from the sidelines. after what felt like forever, katie’s team had won and as she shouted something about ice cream you perked up.

since you’d taken your top off to let it dry, you were only wearing a bikini top and you looked around, seeing lia’s discarded shirt. you quickly picked it up and slipped it on.

“i’m wearing your shirt if that’s okay wally!” you shouted as you ran to catch up with kyra and alessia, not giving your swiss teammate a chance to reply.

you linked arms with your two best friends and rolled your eyes at how they smiled at you.

“oh don’t start.” you scoffed.

“we haven’t said anything!” alessia defended the two of them and kyra nodded in agreement.

“your faces say it all.”

nothing else was said or implied when it came to the topic of your feelings for lia. to your face at least. when you decided to get an ice cream for lia, the smirk on kyra’s face was wiped off after one look from steph.

thankfully steph came up with the idea to get all the girls an ice cream and you watched the happiness drain from your friends’ faces, mumbling a quiet thanks to the older australian.

as you arrived back onto the beach, the ice creams were handed out and you handed lia hers with a hopeful smile. “this is your favourite right?”

“yes, thank you.” lia nodded, a small smile on her own face.

there was a few minutes of silence between you and just as lia was about to speak up, victoria and laura decided to see who could make the better sandcastle. kyra immediately ran over, dragging alessia with her to join them and you did too, sitting a bit away since you were going to be the judge.

and if you’d have just turned around, you’d have seen the longing look that lia was giving you.

[daniiiboo]

My Lover - lh43

Summary- Lover by Taylor Swift- Luke Hughes addition

Dani's thoughts- HOLY COW MY FIRST EVER TIME WRITING PLS BE NICE

warnings - one freaky man

There’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Luke can remember the day he and you met like it was yesterday. It was one of those cliche moments where the pair bumps into each other, spilling coffee on each other. In this case, Luke was late to hockey practice, and you were late to meet your friends. As you went to exit the cafe, Luke was trying to enter. Both of you were looking down at your phones, disassociating yourself from the world.

“Shit!” Luke said as he walked into you, your coffee spilling on his shirt. You immediately looked up, wanting to know who you spilled your coffee on. Looking up at Luke your eyes met, and you both stopped for a moment. You looked at his grayish-blue eyes, immediately getting lost in them. You quickly snapped yourself out of it.

“Oh my! I am really so sorry!” you said, grabbing napkins from the side table. “Shoot, stand still I-” you said, panicking to get Luke’s shirt as clean as possible.

“It's fine it's fine I swear,” Luke started, “it's not the end of the world, just a shirt. And I wasn't even looking so it's my fault.”. You looked up at Luke confusingly, wondering how he was so calm and caught you in such a dazzling haze.

“No! I was the one not looking, I should have been careful I had coffee!” you finally got out, so confused as to why Luke pinned the blame to you. Luke shook his head and sighed, 

“Okay okay, can I buy you a coffee at least? To make up for this mess?”. 

“I- er- fine” you finally gave in, not wanting to protest and make yourself anymore late. Plus, there was a mysterious way about him that pulled you in.

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

After you and Luke bumped into each other, you hung out ever since.  Months into the friend phase, you and Luke finally went on your first date. Instead of going to a fancy restaurant, or somewhere public, you went on a quiet picnic in the park with him, just how you liked it. As you and Luke got to the park, Luke pulled out a blanket, placing it down before sitting down with you. Then, he pulled out the food from the basket, placing them in front of the two of you.

“Luke, how did you know these were my favorite?” you asked him, grabbing the food he sat down in front of you. 

“Mhh, I just knew” Luke responded, a little embarrassed that you pointed this out.

“Awhh Lukey thank you.” You then said, hugging him as best as you could with a basket in the middle of you guys while you sat. As you ate your food, and enjoyed your time with Luke, you couldn’t help but think “even though you have known him for 2 months, has it actually been 2 years? I mean he knows you so well.”.

We could let our friends crash in the living room 

This is our place, we make the call

Even though you enjoyed your quiet days in, every once in a while you would go out with Luke. This was one of those nights. You had just watched the Devils play a hard game that went into shootouts, and they thankfully won. As a celebration of the team's hard work, they all decided to go out together. That's how you ended up at a random bar full of devil players and their WAGS. Usually you have a couple drinks with Luke, but you got convinced by his brother, Jack, to do shots. And when you get started, good luck stopping you. You were on your 5th, 8th, 10th shot? You didn’t know at this point. You were having a good time dancing on the dance floor while Luke watched over you. Eventually, you got to the point where if you had another shot, you might pass out.

“Lu do we need to go? I was havin’ fun!” you exclaimed as Luke wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting you as you walked. 

“I bet you were sweetheart, but you are barely able to stand.” Luke explained to you as he gently guided you out of the bar, into the street. When you walked into the cold air, you were welcomed by Luke’s brother and two other teammates, equally as drunk as you.

“Lukey boy! Finally we were waiting for you! Are you gonna call the uber?” Jack asked, wrapping his arm around Luke’s shoulders.

“Yeah yeah” Luke answered, pushing Jack’s arm off his shoulders, then grabbing his phone and quickly ordering an uber for the group. 

When the uber finally arrived at you and Luke’s shared apartment, everyone got out, somehow managing to make their way up the stairs, to the apartment door.

“Guys, I need to get by, I need to unlock the door.” Luke tried to explain to the drunk people standing in front of him, lighting pushing his way through the crowd. Eventually, Luke managed to unlock the door, allowing everyone else to barrel their way inside. 

“Guys, I’m not sure you want to stay here, I can call you an uber or-” Luke tried to persuade Jack and his friends, not wanting them to stay in the apartment.

“Lu, shhhh,” you started, “we could let our friends crash in the living room. This is our place, we make the call.” you said as you kissed him lightly, looking back at the three people in the living room, already passed out on the couch.

And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

Normally dating a man, you wouldn’t be insecure when women try to go after your man. You know that if he was loyal to you, he wouldn’t cheat on you. But, now that you date a popular hockey player, you find yourself feeling insecure. You know you shouldn’t feel this way, Luke is the most loyal boyfriend you have ever had, but still, the insecurities seep into your brain.

As you were waiting for Luke to come out of the changing room after his game,  you watched the girls gather around the barriers. Luke, looking exhausted, walked out of the room, his eyes searching for you. When his eyes met yours, you could see how his eyes lit up, immediately smiling. Instead of talking to the girls who waited for him, and signing their jerseys, he made his way directly to you. The screaming and squealing of the random girls got drowned out by Luke pulling you into a hug and telling you how much he missed you.

“I’m so glad you were here to see me today.” Luke murmured in your ear, pulling you in closer, if that was even possible.

“Of course lu.” you responded, melting into his hug. 

“Let's get out of here, I want to get home.” Luke said, letting go of you and grabbing your hand instead. You nodded, agreeing with him, the sound of the girls screaming giving you a slight headache.

And at every table, i'll save you a seat, lover

You got invited to a friend's birthday party at her house. It was a smallish get together, with maybe 20-30 ish people. You arrived early to the party, getting ready with your friends before the party started. Luke was supposed to get to the party on time, but he was a little late.

“Is anyone sitting here?” a man asked, motioning to the chair that was empty next to you.

“Yeah my boyfriend is going to be here.” you responded, not interested in the man bugging you.

“Well I don’t see him” he retorted. 

“Well yeah, I'm saving him a seat.” you told the man, as if it wasn’t obvious. 

“Well until he gets here, maybe I can keep you company?” You didn’t understand how a man couldn’t take a hint. Then as if God heard your prayers, Luke finally arrived.

“Hey angel,” Luke kissed the top of your head, “who's this?” 

“I dunno” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Oh- I- sorry man, i'll leave you guys alone” the man finally responded, backing away, leaving the two of you alone. You sighed in relief, glad the man was finally leaving you alone, and not bugging you any longer.

“Sorry I was late, I got stuck in traffic.” Luke explained why he was late. 

“It’s fine, wanna get something to eat now?” you asked, as your stomach growled. Luke laughed and nodded his head,

“Let's get you something to eat.”.

Darling, you’re my, my, my, my, Lover

You found yourself standing in the middle of their living room, watching Luke through the kitchen doorway. He was humming softly to himself as he stirred something on the stove, completely unaware of you watching him.

“Do you need help with that?” you asked,  breaking the silence between them. Luke glanced over his shoulder, his face lighting up with a grin.

“Nope, I’ve got it,” he said, his voice warm and easy,  “Why don’t you just relax? I’ve got dinner covered tonight.” You crossed the room and leaned against the kitchen counter, folding your arms across your chest. You watched as Luke finished stirring and reached for the wine glasses on the counter. The way he moved, so confident and comfortable in their space, made you feel like you were right where you belonged. With Luke.

The world outside was distant now, nothing mattered but the quiet rhythm of their hearts, beating in sync as they sat there, tangled together in the warmth of their love. For you, it was in these simple moments with Luke that everything felt right. The rest of the world could wait.

"You're my everything," Luke said, his voice barely audible, like he was sharing a secret with you.

You smiled, your heart full. 

“Always,” you replied, your voice steady, your fingers tracing gentle patterns on Luke’s hand.

“Always,” Luke echoed, his lips finding yours in a soft kiss.

word count- 1876

[banamine-bananime]

Easily call your senators and receive a script to read:

“Hello, my name is _________ and I am a constituent of the Senator's. I am calling to urgently ask that the Senator co-sponsor Senator Bernie Sanders Joint Resolutions of Disapproval to block additional weapons packages to the Israeli government, Senate Joint Resolution 111-114. In addition to being against US and international law, sending more weapons and warplanes would fuel Israel's genocide against Palestinians in Gaza, and its expanding assault and bombardment of Lebanon. The Israeli government is bringing the entire region to the precipice of a full-blown war. The only way to stop this from happening is for the US to stop sending Israel weapons. I ask that the Senator co-sponsor and vote in support of the JRD's to block these lethal weapons sales, reach a ceasefire, and save lives.” (By Jewish Voice for Peace, I only added the designation of the resolution)

Because calls can be a very difficult thing for people and any unknowns can make it so much harder, I’m going to lay out exactly what you can expect if you use the above tool:

After filling in your information and pressing “call me”, you will get a call

It is a recorded message by Jewish Voice for Peace explaining the process

On the webpage after pressing “call me”, you will see the above script and a script for Senators Sanders, Welch, and Merckley who have sponsored the bill (only relevant if you live in Oregon or Vermont), after you click the upper right X on a pop-up make-an-account message

When you are ready, press * to be connected to your first senator. You can take your time, the call will not drop if you need a second.

The hours for senators’ offices vary, but if it’s between ~8 AM and 6 PM Monday-Friday, you might be connected to a person, and if it’s after those hours you will probably be leaving a message. I believe most senators’ offices have a small phone tree where you first get an automated message telling you which number to press if you are a constituent wanting to give input to your senator

If you’re worried about talking to someone, you can just pretend you’re leaving a message and read out the script. You’re not being graded on how well you’re observing phone conversation niceties, you just need to get across your one point and then you can immediately dip

After saying your message to the first senator, press * again to be connected to your second senator

Repeat the same process as the first, then just hang up when you are done

That’s it!

Don’t feel like you need to be articulate and convincing and not anxious on the phone to do this. You don’t even need to read out the full script, you could just say the first two sentences and hang up. It doesn’t matter if you sound scared or unsure of yourself, you don’t need to make any sort of persuasive argument. What is recorded for senators to know is just the volume of constituents requesting attention to different issues, from my understanding. Your simple 10-second call is enough.

Senators are going to vote on whether or not we should continue to send aid to Israel on Wednesday, November 13th. Call them, bombard their phone lines with calls. Every fucking day. We have a chance of doing something about this.

[campgender]

Quim Issue #5 (1994)

[image description: a cropped image of a magazine in black and white. at the top is the question “how can you be a lesbian and sleep with boys?” echoed by the words “call yourself a lesbian.” below this are answers with different text formatting for different responses. a black and white cartoon in the bottom right corner shows two people in skirts saying “what on earth was that about?” “haven’t a clue.”

the responses read:

I hardly ever actually slept with them. Of course you can and many of us do. Having sex with men is a diversion I allow myself every 6-8 years. They become more exciting by being forbidden.

I am a lesbian because of the people I choose to live my life with. Occasionally fucking a man doesn’t change that.

I don’t, I call myself bisexual.

My lesbianism means that I am only physically, mentally and emotionally attracted to women. Though I have had good one-off sex with men in the past, that’s as far as it goes. As far as sexual relationships go they don’t feature.

The few occasions I have done it I have had no problem dealing with it at all. I know I’m a dyke – and one of the benefits of being a dyke is having the choice and occasion to do what the hell you like. If I want to shag a bloke then I will (if nothing else to remind me why I never really wanted to sleep with them in the first place!)

If I was interested enough to commit myself to getting good sex with men, there’d come a point when I’d call myself bi-sexual. Anything I engage and put myself into is something to be proud of, so I’d be proud to call myself bi-sexual. But I don’t feel proud of what I have ever felt or done with men in bed, so the label doesn’t apply.

Easy. I am a lesbian and I sleep with guys every once in a while. Which I know many dykes do but they’re just too scared to admit thinking that women will see them in a different light. Most dykes get the 7 year itch even when they don’t admit it to themselves.

I can’t see a way of sleeping with a man/men on a regular basis and calling yourself a lesbian.

Easy.

I can fall in love with women in a matter of minutes. I have never fallen for a man in the same way.

end image description.]

[spartanseagoat]

Hey Babe, Let Me Tell You About Your Chiron Real Quick & Explain Why you are hurt

Hey y’all!! To kick off my new Astro page, I thought I would start off with some healing!

Who is Chiron?

Chiron in Greek Mythology was the Son of Kronos , other sources say Apollo and was a famous centaur. He was known for his vast knowledge of medicines and his overall deep wisdom. He was known for the arts as well. He was also an incredible teacher and taught many Greek heroes such as Hercules.

He was accidentally shot by a poisoned arrow and was unable to heal himself so Greek God Zeus honored him by giving him a place in the constellation known as Centaurus.

How does this play into astrology?

In astrology, Chiron is known as the “Wounded Healer and Teacher.” He represents the unhealed part of ourselves that we keep rehealing. Think of it this way, it’s like our triggers.

Imagine getting severely hurt physically , your wounds heal but now you have a nasty scar from that wound. Even though that wound is healed, you’ll always have that reminder of when you were in pain and it can be triggering.

You’ll never fully heal your Chiron but you can learn from it and how to grow as a person. Your Chiron wounds can be from past lives as well. You may have experienced this in your early childhood the most and it’s followed you through adulthood.

The parts of you that you need to start Healing based on the signs

*the house it’s in determine the area in life you are wounded in. Degrees of your placement also plays a part THIS IS A GENERALIZED BREAKDOWN!

Aries/1h- being hurt physically, not having confidence in yourself, not feeling bold. Don’t feel comfortable in the body you’re in. People saying mean things about your appearance, bullying was a big part of your early wounds.

Taurus/2h- your self worth, being homeless or struggling for home stability, financial struggles, feeling insecure about your voice or how you dress or look. Food struggles is another big one

Gemini/3h- you struggle with communicating your thoughts, having car or transportation struggles, having difficulties with siblings or co-workers. May have learning disabilities such as ADHD

Cancer/4h- you struggle with understanding your emotions and how to regulate them. Troubles with your home life or family, especially mother. Motherhood could be hard for you as well such as not wanting to be a mom or wanting to be one

Leo/5h- your inner childhood, being confident around others, don’t like being in the spotlight. Feel uncomfortable around children, bruised ego from childhood wound

Virgo/6h- suffer from perfectionism and wanting to be the best at everything. Physical Health related issues, work related issues, struggle with routines

Libra/7h- connecting with people one on one, relationship issues. Struggles with finding balance in your life, not having justice or fairness on your side. Struggles with trying to please everyone

Scorpio/8h- struggles with trusting others and being closed off, struggles with developing intimate connection with partners. Dealing with a death of a loved one at an early age, struggle with financial power and control. Power struggles in general

Sagittarius/9h- having a hard time communicating your beliefs and perspectives or people not understanding your worldview, struggles with broadening your view, traveling struggles, religious trauma, struggled in college/higher learning environments. Carry the world on their shoulders.

Capricorn/10h- struggles with ambition and setting long term goals, struggles with not getting recognition or the respect you earned. Struggles with responsibility. This can indicate being a workaholic as well

Aquarius/11h- feeling like an outcast from social circle or network. Having a hard time accomplishing your dreams fulfillment, struggles with social media or the internet in general. Struggles with seeing the good in humanity, being rebellious to the point of being reckless , always feeling uncomfortable in crowds.

Pisces/12h- lack boundaries with people, struggle to see people for who they are and put them on a pedestal, struggle with regulating your emotions due to feeling other people emotions, mental health struggles, addiction struggles, imprisonment struggles

Keep in mind this is a very broad and generalized reading. If you want me to make a detailed a post for each Chiron let me know here by voting!

[gimme-da-sword]

No, actually. That is not an enemy. That is (likely)a severely un/misinformed person. I severely doubt that many people who voted for trump came from a place of hate. They just don't understand. They do not truly get who they voted for and what that means, because if they did truly understand what trump and his campaign plan to do with America, they would not have voted for him. People that vote for trump are fed lies and fiction that lead them to believe that trump will make their lives better regardless of the casualties (aka minorities losing hard earned rights). I am by no means saying that you should keep in contact with people like the "friend" above, but they are not the enemy. They are the byproduct of propaganda that tells them their neighbors and friends will harm them unless Cheeto Voldemort swoops in and strips them of basic human rights. Do you hear me? They are not the enemy. Talking about fellow Americans like that is exactly what trump is doing. It is not your responsibility to explain to your brother's friend Jeff that Kamala Harris isn't going to show up at his door and chop his dick off, but dividing people and turning them against each other is exactly the type of shit that Nazis did. We had a whole ass civil war about that type shit. It is crucial to surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel safe, but calling people evil for being uniformed will only add fuel to the fire we are desperately trying to put out. Still, I am not saying to just quietly accept that someone has harmful beliefs. I would recommend saying something like, "Hey, your choice to support trump essentially says to me that you don't mind it if my rights are taken away. I don't feel comfortable spending time with someone who thinks like that. Goodbye." Something that says 'I don't want to hang out with you if you obviously don't give a fuck about my wellbeing' in a way that doesn't give them a reason to hate whatever minority you may be a part of. It is important that we grow as communities and stay strong, but giving people reasons to support the removal of your rights does anything but help. It lets people go back to their buddies and say 'bro these women are so emotional' or 'gay people are such babies.' I am also not saying you can control how people think and what they say, but if you give them reason to think of you as whichever part of your identity instead of the human being you are, be aware that they can and will take that shit and run. Of course, if the person in question is a parent or close family member, do what keeps you safe. You need to survive over all else. Proving a point isn't worth getting kicked out of your home, and I wouldn't recommend telling a parent off unless you have somewhere safe to go.

Be safe, I love you.

(btw if something I said was incorrect or severely misguided reblog with your own take, or my dms are open. Civilly, tho. I will not respond to childish finger pointing or death threats)

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 8 | Adorable Chaos

summary: one day you woke up to Matt becoming the best dad for two of your little fur babies, showing all of the affection you wanted to show them yourself but couldn’t and there was Matt fulfilling your little dream

warnings: FLUFF, none! Cutesy content ahead of Matt being an animal dad

authors note: I keep falling behind the time I have set to post the fics and idk why 😭 another amazing idea brought to me by pookie @/strnilolover, and I was watching s4 of obx and when I tell you I was balling my eyes out but here’s the fic 😋 luv y’all and hope y’all enjoy this one

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

The sun had barely rose up, casting a warm sunny glow over the room of my small apartment. In the living room, the soft purring of a cat mixed with the gentle tapping of tiny feet on the wooden floor. There was also the soft snuffling from a hedgehog, whose tiny, spiky body was inside a bunch of cozy blankets. My boyfriend Matt officially calls himself the ultimate caretaker of Molly and Mochi, and it was clear he wore that title with proudness.

I watched from the kitchen, a soft smile spreading across my face as I sipped at my fresh morning coffee. I was supposed to be getting ready for the day, but the sight before me was simply too adorable to look away from. Matt had transformed the living room into an own castle for my pets. Fluffy beds litter the floor and couch, precariously placed toys, and a mini cat tower took the most space, all precisely placed just for Molly and Mochi.

He sat on the floor, cross-legged, as Molly approached him, her eyes becoming wide with evident curiosity. In one swift motion, Matt pulled out a tiny feather toy from behind his back and as he waved it in the air, she transformed from a completely calm kitten to almost like a small hunter, jumping around and playfully swatting at the air. “You see, girl? You’ve got it! Just like that!” Matt cheered, his voice laced with enthusiasm. Molly responded to his praise with a soft meow, her tail wagging back and forth as she enjoyed all of his attention. Next to him, Mochi was busy sniffing through all of the delicious treats laid out like a buffet.

Matt had took time out of his evening searching through the pet store’s best treat options for Mochi picking out crunchy bites as if he was picking out red wine. He pointed at Mochi, who was blissfully munching away and announced, “Look at him eat! He’s such a cute little thing!” The sight of Matt caring for my pets stirred something deep inside of me, like an overwhelming warmth that got into every corner of my heart. It was adorable how he had essentially assumed the role of their caring parent, going above and beyond in his care for them.

“You know,” I joked while walking into the room, admiring the cuteness of a mess on the floor, “I thought I was the one who adopted them.” Matt turned to glance at me, his face lighting up with playful mock. “You think a mom can spoil her kids too much? What about the dad’s, huh? We can spoil the little fur baby’s too from time to time” Molly hopped onto Matt’s lap, immediately settling down as if to agree with his statement. Her spine straight and head tucked inside, she was in complete trust. Mochi, getting a bit jealous stomped over towards them and nudging Molly with his tiny nose as if to say, “Hey, I want attention too!”

Matt chuckled and scooped Mochi into his hands, gently cradling him. “Don’t worry, buddy! You’re our little superstar,” he said, giving Mochi a soft scratch on his spiky back. Mochi snuggled into his hand, his small body curling up into a ball of joy. I leaned against the door frame, admiring the scene as my heart fills with affection thats radiating off them. There was something so sweet about watching Matt collapse into a pile of giggles as he struggled to get Molly and Mochi to be at peace with each other in a small game. The way he showered them with affection made your own small attempts to gain their favor feel nearly impossible and slipping away.

“Okay, okay! Molly, you’re the champ! Now Mochi, your turn!” he exclaimed joyfully, as he attempted to get Mochi to follow the sound of a new toy from the ground. In that moment, Matt was entirely in his own bubble completely absorbed in their moves, treating my pets with the kind of love I’d only imagined giving them myself. I slowly walked closer, enveloped in the warmth of their laughter and the peaceful calming sounds that filled the air.

Finally, unable to resist any longer, you sat down beside him. “I think they’re starting to like you more than me,” I joked, wrapping an arm around him. Matt grinned, his eyes beaming with warmth. “Well, can you blame them? I’m a pretty cool fur dad” He pulled me closer, and even in the perfect chaos that these two little creatures brought into our lives, I felt something for sure-this was your family now-imperfect, chaotic, but filled with love.

I gave him a little smile, allowing myself to lean against him as Molly snuggled further into him and Mochi settled onto Matt's other knee. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I whispered, knowing in my heart that the love I had for Matt only became deeper by the way he accepted every weird flaw of our little fur filled family.

Guestlist!

| - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - |