#i’m very unreliable so it’s a bad idea

[chrystalkid]

is it weird to want to be friendly and spend time with people sometimes without becoming friends? maybe i’m aplatonic, or low empathy.

[mikanotes]

goodbyes are sour

connor x gn!reader — 2.1k words

genre: angst sorta! mutual pining in denial

warnings: mentions of guns and killing, kabedon for the sake of science, connor unreliable narrator LOL u have feelings android man… maybe ooc idk. (wrote this w the idea of connor being deviant since the beginning bcs Yeah!)

synopsis: You meet Connor again. Turns out things are much more complicated when you aren’t working together.

author’s note: hi dbh fic?! i Love connor nd i’ve been writing this for a while (crazy since it’s rly short) but i don’t like it much… anyways whoevers alive in the dbh fandom have this!

“Detective.”

There’s just something about the way Connor speaks. The cadence, the pitch, the enunciation of each word. It’s painfully evident that he isn’t human. Everything about him is so machine-like that even his perfect, human-like exterior could not fool anyone. However it is something you got used to. Hearing the android speak your name and call you ‘Detective’ back a while ago felt somewhat unsettling. Now it’s so easy to recognize that it almost makes you feel at ease.

“Do you seriously think I’m an android? I don’t wanna deal with those fucking machines, either. I’d be glad if you put a bullet through them rather than me.”

Turns out hearing him fake being a human is ten times more terrifying than his android speech patterns could ever hope to be.

This was not part of the plan.

You were sent with a unit to patrol around the streets for any android who still hadn’t been brought back or destroyed. You weren’t a fan of this whole assignment, but felt better than the rookies who were sent out to shoot humanoid robots as their first field mission probably did.

It would be fine, is what you told yourself, because you didn’t feel anything towards Cyberlife’s creations enough to be completely uncomfortable with the idea of their blue blood on your hands, though it wasn’t ideal. You could manage. Until the first person you came across happened to be the one android you genuinely cared about.

“I don’t think he’s one of them…” one of your fellow officers murmurs next to you. You suddenly become very aware of the gun he, too, is holding and pointing towards the target. Fuck. As if the situation wasn’t bad enough.

At least this idiot’s performance seems to be fooling them.

You wait one second, then sigh on the second, and finally lower your gun on the third. “You shouldn’t be here.” you say casually, prompting your colleagues to relax and the atmosphere to lighten a little. Your heart is in your throat, however. “We’ve got orders to round up every android we see around here. You should go home. This isn’t exactly safe.”

“I know, I know.” he sighs, rolling his eyes a little, “I was gonna leave anyways, thanks.”

Your coworkers mumble to themselves about how disagreeable this guy’s attitude is and it’s enough for them to miss the wink the latter sends your way as he leaves. You almost regret not shooting a bullet through his head.

Still, you sigh in relief, setting your gun back at your side and running a hand over your face. You don’t think you can continue patrolling in peace. There’s one too many questions in your mind and the key to answering them is escaping from your grasp.

You take the phone in your pocket and pretend to get a call, moving it to your ear and looking at the members of your team. “I’ll join up with you later.” you say, gesturing towards your phone. They nod and walk away, and you do the same, feeling more relieved than ever that these people see you as a leader of sorts. They won’t question you on anything. You hurry towards the direction your so-called partner left to the moment they’re out of sight.

A rooftop door, stairs, and more stairs. You’re jogging down like you’re chasing a criminal on the run. You’re down to the fifth floor out of eight when someone grabs your arm and pulls you out a door.

“Wha—” you try to yell, but a cold hand settle over your mouth. Your body relaxes but your expression tenses. Connor. “Let me go,” you mumble incoherently, surprisingly succeeding in getting him to let you step away.

You sigh and shake your head, turning around abruptly. His ‘human costume’ (which really just was a grey suit jacket thrown over what should’ve been his Cyberlife uniform, glasses, and a cap to hide his LED) is already gone, replaced by his usual attire, just missing his jacket.

“What the hell was that about?” you ask, annoyed, pointing towards the staircase (back there, on the roof) and the android simply shrugs. “Connor.”

“I was undercover, Detective. I thought someone as smart as you would recognize that much.” he says, his tone back to normal. You’d feel relieved if he wasn’t being so irritating. “Was I wrong?”

Your face drops. “No. I figured as much. But what for?” you sigh, crossing your arms.

“Same mission as always.”

“Who are you chasing? Did you find the place?”

“I have no reason to tell you.”

It only clicks then that while you know about Connor continuing his mission after being laid off the case, you’re not part of it anymore. He had to be sent back to Cyberlife, and you should’ve been forgetting about him entirely. You’re still DPD, and you have orders to shoot Androids on sight— Which you clearly aren’t following. He’s right. He has no reason to tell you.

Still.

You grab his arm when he threatens to walk away. You’re not sure what you want to say, but you’re not done talking. He lets you. “Connor.”

“Detective.” he says. You straighten your back and sigh, not breaking eye contact. He tilts his head to the side and his LED flashes yellow for an instant. “You’re angry.”

Of course you’re angry. He’s infuriating. There’s something about how logical and dead-set on following every single rule he is that makes Connor the most annoying individual you’ve ever talked to. Everything he does has to be for his mission. Every single thing.

“Do threats work with you?” you ask blankly, “If you don’t tell me where it is, I’ll get Cyberlife to bring you back, and all that?”

When he takes a step closer to you again, forcing your back to press against the wall, and his LED does not even threaten to change hues, you’re taken aback. Just a bit. It’s the same kind of frustrated attitude you would’ve expected from a human after saying what you just did. But not Connor.

He doesn’t seem frustrated, though. And you know he can look annoyed. He just doesn’t. So he must not be. And you want to find what it is he’s doing exactly, stepping closer to you without even saying a word, but your brain feels like it’s short-circuiting at the distance between you two. You know he does everything for his work. Does he think you have new information on deviants? Does he really believe you would call Cyberlife on him? Is he using his stupid interrogation module on you? Whatever it is makes you even more annoyed.

The silence feels heavy. It makes things worse. It gives your brain time to process how this is making you feel and it’s no good at all. “What?” you break the silence, tone somewhat irritated.

“I’m trying to understand the reason why you’re so angry at me.” he explains simply, like it makes sense. His eyes narrow a bit and the LED at the side of his head flickers yellow for a moment. “And no, Detective. Threats don’t work on me. Not when I can tell you’re lying so easily.” he adds, quieter.

“Shut up.” you scoff.

“I dont think I will.”

“Connor.”

“— However,” he interrupts, “I can step away from you at any moment if you tell me to.”

“No.”

“No?”

What— No?! You register the word after saying it and sigh, face contorting into a somewhat pained expression. You panicked and said it, your mind processing his offer as him leaving you again— With no information and nothing to ease your stupid worries. Now it just sounds odd.

Is that embarrassment?

“You didn’t finish what you were trying to do, did you? You haven’t told me why I’m angry yet. Since you apparently care so much.” you say, tone sounding much softer than before. Your apparent discomposure took away all the bitterness from your voice. Interesting.

Truth be told, Connor knows why you’re angry. He’s not letting you in on the details of what he’s doing despite the time you spent working as partners a very short while ago. He’s spent enough time with people, and you especially, to know that after forming some kind of bond with a work partner, it would be frustrating not to receive information about their mission the way you used to from them—

Especially considering he was still chasing after something you both knew about. Jericho. But he cannot tell you about that. Not… Right now.

What he really was trying to do was evaluate how much of a threat you really could be to his investigation. He didn’t sense any hostility before and he doesn’t now, and you could’ve shot him but you didn’t. But it’s not enough. He needs more time— More evidence that it’s fine. That’s why he pulled you here in the first place. That’s why he pressured you to talk.

He needs to make sure killing you isn’t necessary.

“Because I posed a threat to the stability of your current mission earlier. You wouldn’t have been able to shoot me had I been discovered, and your reaction to your colleagues shooting me would’ve jeopardized your job itself.” he answers.

This reasoning would make sense.

“That’s not it.” you sigh.

Your heartbeat is slowing down. No good. Connor leans his arm on the wall next to you and moves closer. Your heartbeat picks up in speed. It’s almost alarming. He can tell all the details about your physical condition and deduce what you’re thinking or feeling based off of them, sure. But he’s no human. The way he views and comprehends emotions is registered in his system in a much more clear and logic-based way than it is in humans’ brains.

So maybe he won’t ever know why your heart beats so heavily against your ribcage. So he just has to pressure the right places and demand answers. He unfortunately can’t allow you to relax. He won’t get anything out of you if you’re calm. You’re much too turbulent for that.

Or maybe he’ll just have to ask. In a normal way.

“Detective, what’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” you scoff, eyes widening. Wrong question.

You seem like you want to be angry but something is holding you back from displaying just how much he gets on your nerves. You sigh deeply and look at him, “What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so weird. More than usual. Why’d you pull me here if you didn’t want to tell me anything? And I’m worried. What if you really did get shot? Wasn’t Cyberlife supposed to deactivate you? They wouldn’t have brought in another Connor this time. You’re off the case, you— You would’ve died!”

“Maybe.”

There’s circles under your eyes. There always are, but they’re more defined now than they were the last time he saw you. Now that you’re actually being honest, your whole voice and mannerisms betray any of your usual annoyed and dismissive facade. He didn’t think you cared this much, though he understands that some humans are quick to empathize. To a fault.

Now it’s clear he doesn’t need to eliminate you at all. Part of him seems to have grown fond of your company. He couldn’t risk that getting in the way of his better judgment.

“I only pulled you here so you wouldn’t pointlessly chase down the streets searching for me, since I made sure no one would follow.” he says, stepping back and giving you more space, “You’re a police officer. It doesn’t matter what you say you’ll keep to yourself or not. I can’t compromise. This is too important.”

You’re hurt, it’s visible. He’s saying he can’t risk trusting you. He figures that must not feel nice.

The sound of the radio attached to your side breaks this prolonged silence with the promise of separation. You take it, eyes not leaving Connor’s, and listen to your colleague speak. You tell them you’ll be right there. You’re not one to be late. He knows you’ll really leave this time— Too far away for him to hope to talk to you again, if anything goes awry.

You turn the radio off and put it back where it was. “Hope you succeed, then.” you say, bitter, and push yourself up to start walking away.

“Take care of yourself, Detective.” Connor says. Asks. The words come out before he can really think. Something about your voice and this whole atmosphere made him… Feel uneasy. Like he needed to say something. If this is how your partnership ends, he doesn’t believe it should be on such a sour note. He cares doesn’t dislike you at all, so why should it?

You stagger a little, seemingly stopping in your tracks, but moving again no more than a second later. “You too, Connor.”

Somehow, goodbyes had never seemed so sad.

[colleybri]

Cassian x Bix and Rebelcaptain: Please let these ships be friends !

I ‘ship’ Cassian x Bix AND Cassian x Jyn. I see there has been some conflict in the past when the “new woman” was first brought in with the series, some that remains now, and I’m both saddened and bemused by that.

Rebelcaptain for me is a canon relationship… to a certain extent. I have no doubt that these brave heroes would have ended up together had they lived. That’s why I love it… the whole beautiful tragedy of what might have been, and the loyalty that binds people together when making a sacrifice like this. Were they actually in love, in canon? For me – no. Not yet. And that’s important for my personal enjoyment of Rogue One, especially its ending. As the novelisation stresses, Cassian dies without knowing Jyn as “There wasn’t the time”. And I simply don’t believe you can love someone without knowing them . But I enjoy the idea of exploring what would have happened had they lived. They are a perfect loyal “battle couple”, definitely my favourite fanon SW couple and great to imagine together. I see Rebelcaptain also as a way of giving them the happy ending they deserved. Oh - and the chemistry between Felicity Jones and Diego Luna on-screen is absolutely electric. In short and again: I have no doubt that they would have fallen in love had they lived and would have been perfect for each other. And they are a perfect fanon ship.

(^^ And I I think this is the exact moment in canon when they both acknowledge the loss of what might have been. It’s just heartbreakingly beautiful… )

Cassian x Bix - I don’t even think of it as a ‘ship’ per se as it is a 100% canon relationship, and one that is currently ongoing as we wait for Andor S2.. It’s fascinating to me – 17 years of friendship that has occasionally blossomed into a romantic/sexual relationship. It’s a genuinely unusual set up too. I’ve read a few takes that they are “over each other” by the time of the start of the series, to which I want to say … watch again, closely! They certainly have moved on to date different people, but it’s also very clear from their interactions (especially in the intense scene in Ep 7) that there is still a lot of extremely deep feeling between them – even if some of it is very negative. In the S1 production notes, the show’s creator Tony Gilroy says that they “are meant to be together… but it’s been impossible all these years. Now, she’s done with him … he’s burnt every last bridge .” Why? The series also provides the answer – Cassian is in many ways an absolute mess at the start of the season and Bix was quite rightly fed up with him as a boyfriend. He’s completely unreliable, likes short-lived affairs (often with married women - so no risk of commitment!), isn’t working regularly and has debts all over the place. This largely stems from his “unresolved childhood trauma”. He has a fear of “leaving people behind” and despite having a lot of love to give “ is so scared of being loved”. But he and Bix nonetheless prove to be incredibly loyal friends and their love in this platonic sense clearly runs very deep indeed. They have known each other since he was 10 so she is also something like a sister figure. Bix is still very protective of Cassian and takes personal risks for him… and he finally comes to appreciate this and pay back his metaphorical debt to her in the finale. The question now is what season 2 holds for them, if anything.

(^^ I love the way she is using her fingertips to push his hand off, as if to avoid the risk of too much touch. The gesture and look that says “Please don’t try and get close to me again because we both know how bad that is for us… but I’m such a total idiot when it comes to you that I will still very unwisely go out of my way to help you, especially when you look at me like that so please just don’t”)

Does loving their messy and complicated relationship mean that I want Cassian and Bix to ‘end up together’ ? No, and the obvious additional point is that they don’t! They are both going to be very different people at the start of S2 and over the following years of the story . Bix has been traumatised; Cassian has been radicalised. And that’s just the start. Perhaps they quickly drift apart. Perhaps some kind of betrayal is involved. Perhaps one or both of them will want to commit again to a relationship, but it’s impossible because of the demands of the rebellion (like Vel /Cinta). Perhaps Bix “ends up with” someone else (Brasso, ideally, especially if they both survive the season). Perhaps they will get back together at least for a while and enjoy a little last happiness before inevitable heartbreak. Perhaps all, some or none of these. But none of that stops me from loving and appreciating what they do have, what they have had up to now, and the intriguing dynamics of when they do interact on screen. Bix x Cassian attracts me as a fanfic ship because it’s all about exploring what is there and how it came to be, which is why I currently don’t write them beyond the present time of season 1. I’m waiting to see what happens next in Canon, as it were, because that to me is an important part of writing them. Meanwhile, I’m enjoying analysing the relationship by imagining them in the past.

So for me Bix x Cassian in no way impacts on Jyn x Cassian or vice versa, especially if you apply… real life principles rather than the ideals of fandoms: “soulmates” and OTPs. Many people – most people – will have a beautifully intense and loving relationship with more than one person at different times of their lives. I’m old – trust me on this one.

^^ Both relationships in these two scenes go way beyond romance. In the first - many years of close and loyal friendship. In the second: a bond created through brave and selfless sacrifice together. And for both: Cassian’s absolute hatred of being “someone who leaves people behind”: the quality that I love best about him. And saving each other. Literally and metaphorically.

And oh… it’s beautiful. Both moments are beautiful.

Edit: I won’t do any speculating here about the content of the trailers and articles. Except to say that there’s nothing in them that detracts from the emotional power of both ships. They can continue to happily coexist. 

[gemini-stories]

remember me (2) | j.wy x reader

synopsis: the years may have passed but he always remembered you. even when you didn't. pairing: wooyoung x fem!reader genre: idol!AU, friends to strangers to partners to lovers (?), smut (minors do not interact!!) warnings: idol wooyoung, idol reader, smut, swearing, a tad bit of angst, mutual pining, oh.oh (I really wanted to use this trope in this story!), unprotected vaginal penetration (bad irl!!), mirrors (iykik), reader is bitchy, wooyoung finally stands up for himself (and the end makes him happy:D), miscommunication (I hate this but I swear there's a reason for it). nothing too dirty but if I miss anything pls let me know! word count: 5.1k ish a/n: when I first got the idea for this I thought I knew exactly where it was going. I was so wrong:)) the story kinda wrote itself in the end. I wanted to apologise for the miscommunication trope but it was so necessary for the development of both reader's and wy's development (don't hate me too much, it was all good in the end:D). as usual I’m open to any feedback and criticism so don’t be shy to let me know!! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ previous part ─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

“You did what?” Hajun started laughing.

“You heard me the first time,” you rolled your eyes, reaching for the takeout Hajun brought to you half an hour ago, when you called him for an embarrassing emergency.

“Obviously I did. But I wanted you to say again how you sat on the pretty boy’s face.”

You couldn’t say the whole situation happened out of nowhere. You couldn’t deny the tension between you only got stronger since the stupid sexy dance.

You expected Wooyoung to mention your little very hot interaction. But he didn’t! He was acting as if nothing happened, back to being the sloppy, careless, unreliable, and spineless self.

And that pissed you off even more. Was he ever going to mention anything? How long were you going to wait? You gave him plenty of opportunities! Right? You were the one that went to him first. And what did he do? Pretend you never met, never existed. Unimpressed. Careless. 

Sloppy. Unreliable. 

And spineless. 

“All I’m saying is, you two seemed to enjoy each other. So I see nothing wrong about it,” Hajun continued slurping from his drink.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Dude, what complications?” he asked skeptically.

“I can give you about a gazillion..dude.”

“If it’s about our eternal love, I can take my pity ass and my heartbroken heart and disappear in the sunset,” he wiped a fake tear from his right eye. To which you could only reply by laughing.

“No, but I’m serious, you know our arrangement was never something that should be complicated and could be ended whenever it wasn’t useful for any of us.”

“I know,” you sighed, “and trust me this has nothing to do with it. I swear.”

“Then? What’s the problem?”

Then? What’s the problem? You. You were the problem. And your lack of sincerity. 

And Wooyoung’s.

But, oh well, two could play this game. If he was not going to say anything, why would you. You continued your practice like before. Him messing up, as usual. And you bitching about it with snarky remarks, as usual. Him never replying back, as usual. And you getting more pissed because of it, as usual.

You tried to ignore the feeling of his touch, and the electricity it was sending to your body each time. Thinking about dead unicorns should help.

His hands glided over your thighs, ripping your skin with them, leaving you open and raw, falling into his arms. Finally, this dance move was a success, at the price of you being skinned alive. You looked into his eyes. Really looked. And could only silently beg him to look back into yours. Really look. 

“Are you ok?” Hongjoong asked. You were almost finalising your studio session of the day and to say that you were distracted was not enough. You were not your talkative opinionated self and that was making Hongoong slightly uncomfortable. He felt you staring at the screens over his shoulder the whole time, without you making any remarks to the changes he was making to the song segments. It was too weird for him. He had to ask. It was your decision if you were going to be honest or not.

“Why did you propose for Wooyoung to be my partner when I told you I was looking for one?” you asked absentmindedly. 

“Did he do something?” he turned to face you. “Did he say something? What did he do?”

You kinda mentally chuckled at the thought of Wooyoung misbehaving so much that this was Hongjoong’s first thought, that he did something. Not that he was wrong though. He did more than something. He said more than something too…focus. Dead unicorns.

“Nothing, nothing. I was just curious.” You nudged.

“Oh, okay. Well, he is the best dancer I know. So, I thought it would be a great solution for you and a great opportunity for him, for a great collaboration with the second best dancer I know,” he smiled.

“How dare you?” you gasped, pretending to be offended. “At least tell me I’m the best singer you produced a song for. So I can forgive this audacity!”

To which Hongjoong remained silent and continued to smile, returning to his work. 

“Rude,” you scoffed.

If only Wooyoung could live up to Hongjoong’s title. You knew he was great. Amazing even. You were an Ateez fan after all. You knew what he was capable of. You watched all his performances. So why was he not giving his best with you too. 

You two had another video call with the choreographer, after your latest dance video submission. He was disappointed and he was trying really hard to hide it. 

“Wooyoung, I watched some of your videos man, and what I see now doesn’t seem like you.”

Exactly what you were thinking!

“And you Y/N, we worked together for years. I know you. This doesn’t seem like you either,” he sighed. “The second choreography was meant to strengthen your chemistry, not make it worse. Please, try it again for a couple of days and then go back to your routine. Accept each other’s movements.”

How could you go back to the second, hot and dangerous choreography. You both silently agreed to not mention it again. Dead unicorns, right?

You were stiff.

He was flustered.

This was never going to work out.

“What is this?” you asked reaching for the small pink box from the bench where you’d usually leave your bag at the beginning of the practice.

“I, I wanted to apologise,” Wooyoung started with a shy smile, “for everything. Everything.”

You opened the box to find a dozen bunny shaped biscuits, topped with white icing. The asshole.

“No thanks, I don’t eat sugar.”

The room turned a couple degrees colder. You politely closed the box and put it back on the bench, starting your morning practice.

Nothing was working how you wanted. For the first time in weeks it was you making stupid mistakes. Wooyoung was doing god’s work trying not to start laughing at every mistake. The fact that he was aware of your mistakes was making you even more self-conscious and you hated feeling that. You knew exactly when was the last time you felt like that and you swore to yourself to never feel like that again. But here you were now. In this situation. And there was only one asshole to blame. 

“Did you really think that apology was going to work?” You couldn’t keep it in you anymore and asked staring into his eyes, when he was on top of you.

“What?” He stopped in the middle of his step.

“The stupid biscuits, what were you thinking?”

“I thought it would be a nice gesture. How should I know you don’t eat sugar?”

You groaned loudly, continuing your steps.

“It’s not even about the sugar.”

Wooyoung was so confused. You were always weirdly cryptic in a mad way, but this time it was…weird in a weird way. Most of the times you were annoyed by things he was not doing, and this was a first - being annoyed by something he did do?

He was surprised you never mentioned the incident. He didn’t want to be too greedy so he didn’t do it first.  He could swear something possessed him that day. He was so…cheeky that day. Was he cheeky with his partners before? Sure. Would he have done something like this with someone else? Of course! 

How did he do it with you? He couldn’t comprehend. He was never cheeky with you. For god’s sake he couldn’t even argue with you when you kept bitching during practice. 

So what on earth went through his mind? 

The same nasty thoughts he always had when he thinks of you. The same nasty thoughts he always had when you were in a five meter radius from him.

The same nasty thoughts he always had when he touched you.

He blushed the whole way home that day. He blushed while getting ready for bed. He blushed while taking a shower. He blushed while drawing stupid hearts on the shower glass. He blushed while taking a picture. He blushed while thinking of you when writing the caption. He blushed when he saw you liked the post. 

He was so far gone.

All the possible conversation scenarios went through his mind that night and he was ready to have any sort of uncomfortable talk with you. But you acted like nothing happened and didn’t say anything. So he didn’t either.

He thought about apologizing. For everything. And what better way than with something sweet. Two things that were always recurrent on your old instagram were bunnies and desserts. So he thought, what could go wrong with some bunny biscuits. Right? 

Apparently many things because you were mad about it. For some reason Wooyoung couldn’t understand. It was a different type of mad from the one you constantly showed in the past weeks. It was more of a sulky mad, which Wooyoung actually found adorable. 

But nevertheless you were mad. And that never helped your dance practices before, it wasn’t going to help now either.

It was most certainly not helping you while getting flustered during the dance.

You mentally refused to call for Hajun in the past days, especially for your quick breaks during the day. You really wanted to, but you couldn’t. A different person was flying through your thoughts when you were thinking about it. Your arrangement with Hajun was nice and convenient but you’d never fuck him while thinking of someone else. You were not like that. 

So you were left just with your thoughts.

And the memory of that day.

How hot and electrifying it was. How hot and electrifying he was. Nope. Dead unicorns!

“Is your dance practice going well?” Hongjoong questioned Wooyoung after just arriving at the studio with a bag of take out that Hongjoong asked for.

“Amazing.” Wooyoung breathed, paying attention to the food packages, looking for something he could nibble on. “Why?”

“Y/N cancelled our session today saying she wants to focus on the dance as there’s ‘some setbacks that she couldn’t foresee’”, he emphasized with air quotes and squinting his eyes. “What did you do?”

Wooyoung scoffed. “Why do you think I did something? We weren’t supposed to practice today and I have no clue what these ‘setbacks’ are about. Maybe she didn’t want to see you today and lied about it. Did you think about that?” he giggled while stealing some fries from Hongjoong’s plate.

“Y/N wouldn’t lie.” Hongjoong stated matter of factly, as if he stated the sky is blue.

He was honest about it as he was honest about the image he had of you - sincere, hardworking, professional and sweet and caring and, and definitely not a liar that avoids a day of work.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. Of course she wouldn’t. 

Okay, maybe indeed you wouldn’t lie. Break promises? Forget about them? Stamp on them? All plausible events.

“You know what I don’t get?” Hongjoong continued opening his sauce.

“I have a really long list. With what do you want me to start?” 

“You think you’re smart, dumbass?”

“I do, in fact.” Wooyoung smiled proudly.

“Nevermind then.” Hongjoong hated how Wooyoung wasn’t serious about this conversation. He wasn’t serious from the beginning and Hongjoong thought it was just a caprice. One that continued for longer than he expected. The reason why he really wanted to understand what this was all about.

“Come on, don’t start sulking like a bitch and tell me!”

“I know you are a stupid fanboy in, what you think is a secret, but when you talk about her you sound like you hate her. What’s up with it, it’s weird dude.”

From all the item’s on Wooyoung’s list, this was not one. Did he really make it sound like he hates you? Was he stupid? He didn’t want the others to know that he admires you so much so they wouldn’t tease him about it, but he didn’t want the opposite either…from the outside perspective it looks like he hates you?

“I don’t hate her. I could never hate her.'' He was looking anywhere but at Hongjoong, not being able to face him, now embarrassed by himself. 

“I know that. But if you act with her like how you talk to me about her, I have bad news for you.”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Complicated for who? You? Then uncomplicate it.” Hongjoong sighed. “We can’t afford not having great results out of this collaboration. It’s not only good for you or for me. It’s good for all of us. Don’t. Fuck. It. Up.”

Is he fucking it up?

He scrolled through his camera roll until he found the picture he was looking for. A picture of the red velvet cake he bought a few days ago as a nice gesture for the team. The cake was cut in eight even slices, with one slice missing, that he ate by himself because he was too impatient to wait for everyone to be back home and eat it together. Maybe he was always a little bit too impatient and expected too much from others.

He edited the picture, putting a filter over it, that would fit the rest of his feed and posted it on his secret account with the caption: ‘I bleed on the plate in front of you and you sip my blood even though you are not thirsty.’

You sighed looking at the picture and reading the caption and put your phone aside. You were alone in the dance room, trying to take your mind from anything else but dancing. You had to admit, Wooyoung was not the only one making mistakes. You had to focus and get it done with it!

The last time you felt so incompetent while dancing was in your first year you took lessons. You were maybe five or six. You didn’t understand much, thinking that dancing is just vibing with the music. You cried at your first competition after making a mistake on stage, making you feel not good enough. You promised yourself then and there to never feel like that again. And you never did again. 

You were startled when the door opened and Wooyoung entered, holding a small pink box.

“We were supposed to have the day off from practice today. What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I should ask you,” he smiled a sweet smile. “I wanted to bring you some of this, I swear they have no sugar,” he passed you the small box that you opened and saw the same bunny shapes. It was crackers this time, no sugar. “It’s from this bakery that I really like and I swear it’s really nice.”

You scoffed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. “Why are you doing this?”

“I thought it would be nice.”

You pushed the box back to him and looked up straight into his eyes. “Why the fucking bunnies?’

“I thought you’d like them.”

“Why? Why would you think I’d like them?”

Please, for once, say it.

“Because they are cute?”

“For fuck’s sake Wooyoung,” you turned your back to him, pretending to go back to your practice. “Forget about it.”

For once, when Wooyoung got annoyed he did talk back to you. He wanted to just leave. If you didn’t want his gift he wasn’t going to insist. But you had to go and run your mouth and touch his most sensitive nerve. Too bad. “That might be something that you can easily do. But I don’t!”

Were you hearing right? He talked back! Finally. Too bad he also had the audacity. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I never forget anything important to me,” he continued.

“Oh, sure you don’t forget anything,” you interrupted, mocking him.

“But it seems forgetting comes effortlessly for you. Since you probably don’t care about it, it doesn’t matter and it easily disappears from your mind, no?”

“I came to you!” you stopped his rambling. “And you forgot me! You forgot our promise! You forgot to fulfill it! I gave you so many chances and each time you acted as if you forgot everything. Even this stupid fucking choreography. I wanted to do it with you from the beginning. But then you acted like you never cared about it? You were late, you were not putting in effort, you were not even defending yourself.”

And it was out. You kept it in you for so long. It was bound to happen. Was it sort of kind of the reason why everything wrong that he was doing was making you so bitchy? Definitely yes. And now it was sort of kind of out in the open. You could finally confront him about him being the bad guy in your story.

“You, you knew all this time?”

He wasn’t sure he heard right. You knew. It wasn’t just him. But you too.

“I knew what? That we made a stupid promise that you never kept when we were ten? That we met again four years later and I came to you and you acted like you had no idea who I was? That the next year was the same? Even worse? That we were working in the same fucking industry but you never once remembered? Then, yes, yes I knew about all this.”

It was never a stupid promise. Never for him. Thanks to it he actually continued his dance lessons as a child. He ended up winning so many competitions. The scouts from the company noticed him. He debuted. He is here today, with you, preparing for the end of the year awards. He was always grateful for it, even when he thought you didn’t remember. It was never a stupid promise. 

“I never forgot. I knew it was you!”

He was unbelievable. 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” you threw your hand in the air, in a sign of desperation. 

“I was embarrassed, okay?” Wooyoung fidgeted in place. It was the first time he was going to admit this out loud. Not even in his thoughts did he ever admit it. “Because I wasn’t able to keep the promise and win, I felt like a failure.” Indeed, he never fulfilled his side of the promise. He did win the competition, but he didn’t “snatch” the first place from you. You were not there. And that was the only reason he was able to win. Which was proved years later when you two were competing against each other and you effortlessly won. He never got first place with you there.  

“This is so dumb. I only made that promise with you because I thought you were sweet and cute,” you blushed, “and I didn't want you to abandon dancing, and I wanted to see you again the next year!”

“But you moved away.” He stopped your train of thoughts. As if he found the flaw in your story. It was 100% not only his fault here. 

“But I moved away. And I was still hoping you’d win the stupid competitions so we’d meet at regionals!” Fair excuse. In fact, it was not your fault that you moved. You were too young and you were going where your parents were going.

“But then you acted like you didn’t know me there.” See? Another flaw in your story.

“I wanted to see if you remembered me! And it was obvious to me you didn’t!” Which seemed perfectly reasonable to your fourteen year old brain. Now? Not as much. But back then you could swear this was the most romantic thing you could think of - testing to see if he’d remember. Almost like testing the power of destiny. 

“I wanted to see if you remembered me! I didn’t want to embarrass myself even more, hanging on to a promise from years ago.” Valid. Very valid. Extremely valid. Both to his fourteen year old self and the present self.

“Oh my god?” you groaned. “Not even when I made this whole elaborated plan to have you as my dance partner couldn’t you tell? It took me months to think of something.” 

“You did say your favourite was Hongjoong though. That reinforced to me that you didn’t remember me in fact.”

You groaned. After you debuted you gave up on seeing Wooyoung again. He remained a bittersweet memory in your mind, thinking of him constantly. Wondering what he was up to. Then he debuted as well. The universe was really giving you another chance.

Now, you only had to find a way to be together and see if maybe maybe he could remember you. Which was obviously not easy. Be it award shows, or music shows, it was never the right moment or the right time.

Then an interesting thought crept into your mind. You were going to work on your solo album and have an important  dance segment. You could definitely have a collaboration of some sorts with him. But how were you going to ask for it without it being too suspicious. 

You never lied by saying you wanted to have a song produced by Hongjoong! It was just such a wonderful result of how your plan was going to work. 

“I was giving you signs too!” Wooyoung complained. 

“What?” you got closer to him. “The bunnies?” you raised your chin to face him. “The pictures with cryptic verses?” you squinted your eyes.

“What pictures with cryptic verse?”

There was no way you knew about it. You couldn’t. How could you?

“Don’t act dumb now. I know all about your secret account. And I know you know I know. I even followed you!”

Wooyoung was panicking. “How did you know it was mine?”

“Oh please, the profile picture is your hand as a pinky promise,” you started, “and some things you were writing were fitting with things you were doing.” you felt your cheeks burn just a little bit.

“Like what?” maybe you were bluffing, or simply testing him, as it seems you were testing him constantly. Nevertheless, he was curious what gave him away. It couldn’t have been just the profile pictures. 

“You know…things.”

“I actually don’t,” he looked down at you through hooded eyes, suspicious. You were fucking bluffing!

You avoided his glare, looking away when you finally said with a small voice, “The shower heart convinced me it was you.”

Oh. Oh.

So it was like that. The unspeakable.

“See, that’s another event you were acting like it never happened and you never mentioned it.”

“You never mentioned it either,” you opened your eyes accusingly. 

“Why do you keep waiting for me to do things first?” he closed the distance between your faces, breathing you in. “What was I supposed to say? Can you sit on my face again? Would you allow me the privilege to eat you out again?”

“I didn’t… I never…You…could’ve…” you swallowed your words because anyways you didn’t know what you wanted to say.

Wooyoung chuckled at your loss of words, couldn’t believe you were not having a comeback. It was fairly easy to do and he scolded himself for not doing it earlier, as you were too cute squirming there not uttering a word back to him.

“Cat got your tongue, huh?” he smirked, eyeing your lips. He wanted to test this limit of yours. 

“Don’t be an asshole.” And…you were back to your bitchy defensive self.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Don’t act like I’m the bad guy now.”

“No. I don’t act anything. Yes, you are the bad guy in my story. So what, I am probably the bad guy in your story. You know we are all bad guys in someone’s story.” You could ramble on and on, deflecting the attention from you to whatever you were trying to say.

Wooyoung cupped your cheek bringing back your attention to him. “Can you just… shut the fuck up for once and let me kiss you.”

He pressed his lips on yours, shyly nibbling at your lower lip. He deepened the kiss, lowering his hand on the side of your neck. You smiled against his lips and shortly giggled.

“What’s so funny?” Wooyoung furrowed his brows. 

“You are acting differently.” You started playing with the zipper of his hoodie, unsure if you should say this. “One day you don’t even look me in the eyes and then the next you tell me to shut up and you do this?” 

Wooyoung’s lips curled into a sheepish smile.

“You mean this?” And kissed you again, deeper and sloppier. “You just got me acting up.”

It was so easy for you to get lost into the kiss, feeling it like a warm embrace in your whole body. 

“I think I might like you more when you actually talk back,” you said in between kisses, trying to gasp for air.

He continued a trail of kisses on your neck, which you found extremely dangerous.

“Maybe we should practice the choreography,” you whispered.

“I thought we were not supposed to practice today,” he breathed on your skin.

“Well since you came all the way here, we shouldn’t waste any time, right? Time is ticking and we should send a new recording.”

You felt his other hand caressing your waist. You really wished you weren’t wearing a sweater. He stopped his sweet sweet kisses and looked at you.

“I think I might like you more when you shut up,” he grinned a shit-eating grin.

“Smartass.”

You did say you liked him more when he was talking back and that was exactly what he was doing.

He didn’t remove his hand from you, one still resting on the small of your back and one still kneading your neck. He was waiting for your next move. If you really wanted to practice, that’s what he was going to do. If not, he also had other ideas.

“Fuck it,” you sighed, reaching for his lips. 

You kissed him exactly how you wanted to kiss him the day he entered through the door of your practice room, hungrily and passionatly. 

Wooyoung’s hands found their way under your sweater, gliding on your bare back for the first time and sending shivers through your body.

“Tell me to stop,” he gasped.

“Please don’t stop,” you breathed.

That was the moment the flip switched in his brain. You chose the section option. To hell with the dance practice.

He guided you to the nearest wall, where you could finally rest against something. You could swear your knees were going to fail on you. 

You quickly unzipped his hoodie and peeled it off him smoothly. He wasted no time and took off his shirt in a swift motion. You trailed the lines of his chest with your fingers, leaving the ghost of your touch burning up his skin.

“One from me, one from you,” he tugged at the hem of your sweater. You raised your arms letting him take it off for you. You wanted to see him work for it. He removed your white top without warning, leaving you half naked.

“That was actually two from me,” you chuckled.

He was kissing the top of your breasts. Licking and delicately biting your soft spots.

“How beautiful,” he whispered against your skin.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, completely leaning between the wall and him and his kisses. You could feel him through your thin leggings and you loved that you had this effect on him. You couldn’t help but slowly move your hips. Yup, you were hot and bothered. How could you not, when you were showered in his sweet kisses.

His hand traveled lower, under your leggings. 

“You do have a habit of not wearing underwear, huh?”

You felt your cheeks turning red. Yes, that was a habit you could say. A habit that you were so going to continue practicing from now on.

You unhooked your legs, allowing him to take off your leggings. He took his sweet time pulling them down, and then slowly kissing your leg up to your thigh, ending up with a sloppy kiss on top of your pussy.

He was in the middle of unzipping his pants when he stopped. “Fuck, I don’t have a condom.”

“That’s literally the last thing i care about right now,” you scoffed and unzipped his pants yourself.

Wooyoung gleamead and kissed your forehead tenderlly. “You are so perfect.”

You raised your right leg, to make space for him. He took out his cock, aligning himself at your entrance, slowly pushing himself inside you. 

Your hips were moving by themselves, you wanted him deeper and deeper. Closer and closer. All of him.

He grabbed your other leg too, hooking them both behind his back. You were wrapped around him, locking him in place. There was no other place he’d rather be except between your legs.

You were softly moaning in his ear and he could swear this was what heaven sounded like. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, increasing his pace, “this feels better than I ever imagined.”

Your lips pursed in a devilish smile, “You imagined this?”

“And so many other things.”

You could not get enough of him. Your eyes were rolling back in pleasure and you were struggling to keep them open and focus on the opposite wall’s mirrors. You could see Woyoung’s back reflecting in the mirrors, his back muscles flexing with every little thrust. You just wanted to have a bite of it. Too delicious to resist. You rested your head on his shoulder, kissing and grazing it with your teeth. That should do. For now.

Wooyoung grabbed your ass cheeks, squeezing them, trying to pull you closer. You were feeling your orgasm, almost there, ready to make you explode and see fireworks.

“So good.” 

“So beautiful.”

“So perfect.”

His praises were what sent you over the edge, riding through your high. For which he was thanking all the gods as he was ready to cum the moment he first kissed you. 

He quickly pulled out as he felt he was going to cum and finished on your stomach. You looked down to your stomach, that was now wet and sticky.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get to ask. And I didn’t want to finish inside without asking.” He was breathing hecticly, recovering from his high.

You touched your stomach, your legs still hooked around him. You traced your fingers through his mess and brought them close to your lips, licking them clean, while keeping eye contact with him.

“You are killing me.” He said, looking up at the ceiling, trying to contain himself.

But oh his neck looked so beautiful.

And you definitely weren’t able to contain yourself, so you started kissing it.

“You’ll make me hard again,” he chuckled. 

“And?” You smiled against his skin. “Didn’t you say you imagined more things? Show me what you had in mind.” | © 2024 gemini-stories All Rights Reserved.

[grandwitchbird]

Am I gonna talk about Dragon Age again?

Might as well. Ok so I said before that y’all weren’t ready for my actual opinions. I’ve decided I don’t care. Because I think I’m funny. Also there’s an analytical angle to be had.

So there’s kind of a split in how people approach these games. Some have been playing dorky comedies with terrible politics this whole time. And some have apparently been playing a dark fantasy with serious world building. Both things come from the same place. Let’s get into it.

Origins is what happens when someone reads some of The Witcher stories and a lot of Wheel of Time and maybe maybe some of the actual pulp classics and doesn’t really understand why any of them do things the way they do. Or maybe they understand and don’t care because they’re busy making a Dungeons and Dragons game with cherry-picked elements from stronger stories.

On the spectrum of work I reference up there, it’s closest to Wheel of Time in quality and integrity. So. Middling. It also very specifically grabs the idea of elves in ghettos and pogroms and monster hunters who are kinda monstrous themselves complete with a ritual that usually kills them, also in-world texts for unreliable perspective… directly from The Witcher. It just completely strips those ideas of their actual context and weight. Now elves are just a really antisemitic trope. The text is flinching from its implications and landing on something ethically weak and reductive as a result. It doesn’t actually want you to think any of this through. It wants you to laugh at the funny drunk and clutch your pearls at its use of sexual violence.

DA2 isn’t better. It just cribs from Kurosawa now. But once again, we lack the material context that made Kurosawa’s storytelling so powerful. Welcome to ‘both sides are bad’ nonsense because these games as texts just don’t want to think about the implications.

Inquisition is smarter. By a lot. The Chantry was just fantasy!Catholicism and it wasn’t doing anything for the setting because of ‘both sides bad’ nonsense. Now we have Cassandra, and it’s doing something. It has something to say about faith apart from institutions. It has something to say about collective responsibility. Now we have Solas and he’s actually fae. He’s the other in self and the self in other as your narrative mirror. We have Vivienne who weaponizes her faith because the struggle to simply exist in this world is too costly. We have Cullen whose struggle with addiction balances the extremes and complicates the picture with his crimes. We have Cole who is 100% fae and also so human. It all resolves, and resists resolution, in the Inquisitor’s loss of personhood to their role. Every character balances against every other character, and we’re now saying something about the real human costs of unearned power and the need to struggle with the self that holds up under a bit of pressure. It still falters with the Templars though. It still doesn’t want you to look too hard at implications.

And now we have Veilguard. For better or worse, it’s all of this in one tidy package. This game has thought about the implications and it would like to just get rid of them thankyouverymuch. It knows it can’t handle that pressure. But it also knows it has a narrative golden goose in Solas. So it builds around him. Successfully. In its very limited capacity. This game isn’t shallower than Origins. It’s exactly as deep. It’s not safer than 2. It’s just actually finished. It doesn’t really lose anything from the tighter character arcs in Inquisition, because what Inquisition had was potential. And potential isn’t a goal in itself. This leaves us with a Dragon Age that tries to have its cake and eat it too while knowing its limits. That works for some because it’s actually good as a game. And it gives some folks indigestion. It’s not a new kind of cake though. It’s just not letting you wash it down with vague allusions to stronger narratives.

[dysfunctional-doodle]

TMNT FIC RECS

I got someone asking to recommend some angst TMNT fics so I decided to make a list of my own! I’ll recommend some of my favourite fics then a few of mine for those that haven’t read them :)

NOTE - I’m such a Mikey fan that almost all of these are Mikey-centric angst, my bad. Still very very good. Top tier shit:

Ok so I’m going to cut this because this list is massive, please keep reading!!

NOT MY FICS:

Feed Me Poison ‘Til I Drown (TMNT 2007, All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey’s tired of not being taken seriously by his brothers. Karai is very persuasive. As such, Mikey joins the Foot clan…mere months after Leo is sent away for training.

Notes: This is wonderfully written. A what if based on a cancelled TMNT 2 sequel where Mikey joins The Foot due to him feeling unappreciated and a burden. I personally love a unreliable narrator, and this captures that perfectly - you don’t know whether Mikey is being manipulated, or whether his actions (and how antagonistic they get) are of his own free will and not brainwashing. Chefs kiss. (Ao3)

All works by Justalittleobsessed.

All of them are perfect angst ranging from mild injury to absolute gut wrenching angst. Please check all of them out, they are some of my favourites for sure. (Ao3)

Radio Silence (All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey isn’t answering his shell cell, which isn’t like him, prompting his brothers to go look for him; Mikey has no idea what’s going on, but the rain is making nice sounds and moving hurts and there are noises coming from his shell cell that he should probably pay attention to.

Notes: Less angst and more hurt in this one, but still brilliant on capturing exactly how it feels to wake up from a serious injury, alone and confused. Perfectly describes shock and has a decent dosage of comfort after. (Ao3)

Missing Comedic Relief (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: Michelangelo is the light of the family, he's always cracking jokes no matter what situation they're in. His family doesn't realize it, but his jokes help keep up the team moral. They always break the tension and make it easier to do what they need to do. So when Mikey isn't part of a mission, his family can't help but notice how empty their team felt. To make matters worse, the reason Mikey isn't part of their mission was because he was missing.

Notes: I love this one because the amount of emotional angst from the brothers not knowing where Mikey is and missing what he means to each of them is just amazingly written. The brothers don’t know where Mikey is but know he’s hurt and in trouble, and it largely follows their point of view as they search everywhere for him. Mikey himself suffers quite a bit too (cage fighting against a bunch of Purple Dragons, not fun) and it ends with comfort! Huzzah! (Ao3)

The T Subjects (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Mikey and Don face their worst fears when they're separated from their brothers by ruthless scientists.

Notes: If you want angst, this is the place to go, seriously. Explores the terrifying reality of what would happen when any of the turtles get captured by scientists who want nothing more than to study them. It’s heartbreaking reading about how Donnie is trying to keep it together for Mikey, but ultimately fails when he is separated from his youngest brother. And Mikey - god, he goes through it too much. His childlike faith in Donnie and genuine fear is written so well.

I will note that this is private, so you can only read it if you have an ao3 account.

I’ve Been Afraid of Changing (TMNT 2007, though can be read as general)

Summary: “You can’t make me go,” Mikey blurts, too loud. “I won’t. I don’t want to.”

“Jesus,” Donnie mutters, rubbing his forehead. He’s already so fed-up with Mikey after like three seconds of conversation that Mikey can feel his eyes start to sting. “The last thing I want to do is fight with you, Mike. I thought you liked Cowabunga Carl.”

It’s not fair. Donnie’s so smart. He’s tired and overworked and unhappy, but he’s smart. How can he get this one thing so wrong? How can he not know Mikey as well as he used to, like all of those years of being each other’s best friends and co-conspirators and secret-keepers from where they were relegated to the “B Team” aren’t as intrinsic and important and fundamental to him as they are to Mikey? How can he look at Mikey, right in the face, and not understand him at all? Something breaks.

Notes: a kind of AU of the TMNT 2007 movie where Mikey develops depression/has a mental breakdown due to how the other brothers have drifted apart. His birthday is forgotten, Donnie and Raph keep fighting, he hates his job - and he can’t take it anymore. It’s horrible reading Mikey’s breakdown, but it ends on a much happier note! If you want emotional angst this is FULL of it. (Ao3)

Nothing is Ever Simple (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: When breaking up an arms' deal goes bad, Mikey is taken and Raphael is on the trail of his brother's kidnappers. You don't mess with family.

Notes: Mikey gets kidnapped and Raph is left following a small trail to find him. This fic is one of my favourites because of the way it focuses a lot on Raph and his own personal demons, and how much Mikey means to him. Also, Mikey gets tortured in a twisted way, and seeing him never give in is always a plus in the old angst book. Overall, though it seems it’s about Mikey it’s mostly about Raph. His own reflections, fears and loyalties to family. (Ao3)

Never Really Over (ROTTMNT)

What appears to be another routine Purple Dragons bust takes a devastating turn when one of the brothers gets infected with leftover krang sludge. Or; kraangified Mikey

Notes: what can I say about this one apart from Mikey gets kraangified. It’s peak angst, I promise. Absolutely amazing, read it. (Ao3)

That’s where the blood is supposed to be! (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Sometimes, you just get hit a little too hard (aka: mikey blames everything on low blood sugar for ~4K words)

Notes: Mikey is seriously injured but doesn’t tell anyone due to the high tensions between Raph and Leo. Come on - physical and emotional angst? Sign me up! Very good and accurate descriptions of injury and gore, and the build up of this one is just perfect. You know something is horribly wrong, and it’s torture. Poor Mikey. (Ao3)

A Change In Outbreak (TMNT 2003)

Summary: Shredder showed us that there are there infinite number of realities, thousands of dimension and each of them differ from the last when it came to the turtle brothers. This one is no different then the one we've known our Turtles to be part of, however there is one little detail, one small thing that's different. Instead of Donnie getting mutated, it's Mikey.

Notes: long time fans probably all know about this fanfic, it’s a classic! Based on the original idea that Mikey would be double mutated in the Good Genes arc rather than Donnie, it retells the events if Mikey had indeed been infected. It keeps it fresh by adding new elements and plot points, as well as a lot of angst surrounding the brothers after seeing their youngest and heart be reduced to a monster. Plenty of emotional and physical angst all round, it’s perfect. (Ao3)

Heated Arguments Don’t Warm a Frozen Family (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: “He’s gotta be around here somewhere, I just kno-“ he suddenly tripped over an object buried in the snow.

“GaH!” Leo shuddered, pulling himself up quickly and brushing off the cold substance.

“Leo???”

Looking back to see what it was that caused his fall, his heart nearly launched into his throat. “Oh no.”

“Leo, what’s wrong?!” Raph’s voice echoed again from the phone.

Leo got onto his knees, ignoring the cold snow that he initially was avoiding. He anxiously brushed away a few inches of loose fluffy snow to see the familiar pattern of a shell. “Shit-“ He muttered under his breath “Get Donnie and come to my location now!”

“What’s going on?! We’re on our way now!” Raph sounded like he was already running.

“I found Mikey.” Leo’s voice cracked as he hung up the phone before Raphael could respond.

Notes: one of the first fics I read on this fandom and still one of my favourites. Lots of emotional and physical, Mikey centric angst in this one! (Ao3)

Everything by BrightLotusMoon

Seriously, they got me into this fandom from a casual watcher to artist and fanfic writer! Full of Mikey angst, and creator of the Empath! Mikey head cannon that lives rent free in my head and has inspired many of my own material! Read them all, they’re all bangers.

Revenge Always Tastes Sweet (But the Aftertaste is Bitter (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Actions have consequences and they come back with a vengeance when it's least expected. A trip to the Hidden City gives one of the brothers a taste of just how deadly making enemies with a yokai can be.

Notes: What, not Mikey angst?? Not this time - Donnie gets the full angst attack when he gets poisoned from an unknown enemy. Lots of well described hurt, end it has a happy ending! (Ao3)

Hyperactive Hyperthermia (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Snow day ruined for the second year in a row! They had expected a break, but they really couldn't ever catch one. How could they have known mystic fire was so uncontrollable?Maybe standing on the ice lake was the first bad idea.

---

OR: The brothers go out for a snow day, but it quickly goes south after multiple avalanches and other shenanigans leaves Mikey without any winter clothing and trapped with Donnie under the snow.

Notes: this one…this one is heartbreaking, honestly. You have to read about Donnie being trapped with a freezing Mikey, and he knows this but is helpless to do anything but watch it happen. The emotional angst in this kicks you deep in the gut, it’s terrible I love it. (ao3)

Nowhere Boy (TMNT 2003, can be read as general)

Summary: He was twelve years old, and he realized that his dreams were always the same. Every single one. "We need you. We'll find you," those indistinct figures would say, their eyes glinting in the darkness, shadows stretching out to him like hands. But he always woke up before they reached him.

Notes: I LOVE this one. It has lived with me ever since I read it, something about it is so heartbreaking. It explores the feeling of being lost despite not knowing why, and how much you miss someone despite never knowing them. It actually inspired a fic of my own, which I will link in my own fics list. I don’t want to spoil it, but please read it. Mikey centric angst heaven (ao3)

Unfamiliar Familiar (ROTTMNT/TMNT 2012 Crossover)

Summary: What the hell is Michelangelo supposed to do? Having woken up in a strange world with new brothers? Why is everyone here so nice? Why won’t they let him leave? The Rise brothers stumble upon a traumatized Mikey, and when they learn the reason behind all that trauma, there is no way they’ll let him experience that again.

TLDR: Rise brothers adopt 2012 Mikey

Notes: I am a sucker for slight 2012 bashing and this one fulfils it without being overly mean. 2012 Mikey has been traumatised by his brothers and his enemies, and finally gets the chance to heal and start again when he is thrown into the rise universe. Very popular fic, I highly suggest you read it despite it not being complete. So much emotional angst I swear. (Ao3)

Going under (ROTTMNT)

Summary: “Have a pleasant swim, little turtle!” they snicker.

Mikey’s eyes widen.

“NO!”

Then, he feels weightless.

He’s falling.

And falling.

And then —

His body hits the water with a loud splash and his vision flashes white.

Notes: Mikey almost drowns. Peak angst. (Ao3)

Sunshine in the Rain (ROTTMNT)

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Michelangelo is taken by a government scientist named Bishop, how will he respond to this new environment, and more importantly, will his brothers be able to save him before he breaks? Let the game begin.

Notes: Mikey sacrificing himself to save his brothers from Bishop? Yes please, and thank you author. Seriously, this has it all - introducing Bishop in the rise universe, and Leatherhead! Of course, lots of angst in the form of experimentation. But that’s what we’re here for, right? (Ao3)

Quicksand (All Media Types)

Summary: Trapped in darkness, no one can hear you, no one can see you, no one knows where you are. The cold lingers, the fear rises, who will help us? Who even knows we are down here? The only people who might know are probably dead. Help us, someone please help…

Notes: Mikey and Donnie get trapped in a collapsing lair when earthquakes year apart their home. Leo and Raph are the only ones that can get to them, but the snow storm is stopping them. This is so brutal in the way NO ONE gets a break, the angst just keeps coming. Everyone gets it. I love it. Read it (fanfiction.net)

Ghosts of New York Past (TMNT 2003)

Summary: The turtles and Splinter have been transported 100 years into the future through Cody Jones' time window. Future New York is a lot to take in. But when the dust settles and the sun goes down, the big unanswered question is still there: how are they supposed to fit into a time that doesn't belong to them?

Notes: light angst, exploring the more emotional and wise side of Mikey that we don’t see often in the show. (Fanfiction.net)

Questioning Choices (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: A fun family trip to the beach turns ugly when Michelangelo is injured and his brothers have to make difficult decisions that go against their morals in order to save him.

Notes: I don’t know why but I love this one too much. Mike’s slowly getting worked whilst the brothers have to go against their morals and steal from an ambulance? Perfection. (fanfiction.net)

Suffered to Slumber (All Media Types)

Summary: "Breathe quick, breathe slow, put the gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're gonna die down here."

Notes: this one is also BRUTAL. Mikey getting buried alive? It’s all the angst you think and somehow more.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (TMNT 2003)

Summary: What was supposed to be a pleasant Christmas Eve with family and friends suddenly turns to one of terror and uncertainty for the turtles. Will they make it through this Christmas together? Or will one fall?

Notes: one of my favourites. Mikey can’t keep out of trouble on Christmas Eve, and ends up paying the price this time. (Fanfiction.net)

It’s Much More Complicated (All Media Types)

Summary: After a late night patrol, Mikey falls ill. At first it's nothing to worry about, but something that seemed to be harmless turns into a race of life and death.

Notes: we love our favourite character getting deadly sick

An Agonising Secret (All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey tries to hide an injury from his brothers, but soon discovers that it wasn't as harmless as he thought it was...

Notes: more hidden injury? Yes please. I highly suggest look at this authors other works as well, lots of angst

Underdark (TMNT 2003, can he read as general)

Summary: He's hanging upside down in the middle of the great underdark, weighed down by a half hysterical turtle in the middle of a bunch of pipes and water and rock that are conspiring to kill us both off, and Leo still manages to sound like he Has A Plan.

Notes: do I need to even introduce this classic? Everyone knows it, it’s amazing.

MY OWN FICS

Helpless (TMNT 2003):

Summary: “No one comes. No one swoops in at the last second, nor does he manage to break the cuffs at the perfect moment. Instead, there is a collective shriek from the beasts below him as they all lunge forward in a hungered wave, their curled claws scraping against his scales and hideous jaws dripping with froth and drool.

Heart racing, Michelangelo hisses at the rodents. However, his warning is ignored by their destructive hunger. The hiss cuts off into a yelp when the first rat bites down on the exposed area between his skin and his shell, its grimy paws digging the pink flesh underneath away.”

What if, in the episode I, Monster, Mikey didn’t get out of the restraints in time? What if he was left, helpless against hoards of rats with no one to help?

TLDR: Mikey gets attacked by rats. It doesn’t end well. What can I say, I’m in a horror mood.

I’m Lost (But I Don’t Know Why) (TMNT 2003)

Summary: “He is mourning the loss of someone he never knew, doesn’t know, but it hurts all the same. He thinks back to the nunchucks, and the orange tape wrapped around them. The comic books hidden under the couch. The extra plate that he sets up everyday, has been for the past three weeks. The gap in their formation.

Missing, missing, missing, his mind chants, but he can’t know what. He’s lost, and can’t remember why.”

There have always been four of them - Donatello, Raphael, himself and his father. Or at least, that’s what Leonardo had thought. But something is missing. They are mourning the loss of another they have never even known. They are lost. But why?

TLDR: a curse makes everyone forget Michelangelo. Leonardo knows there’s something missing, but he doesn’t know why.

All I Ever Wanted (TMNT 2003)

Summary: Donatello vowed that the future he had seen would never occur. He wouldn’t let it. But he’s failed. He’s failed, because Mikey is bleeding out beneath him, his arm severed under a stormy sky. And no help is coming in time.

TLDR: Perhaps the future will not repeat itself, but it can rhyme. How Mikey, despite Donatello’s efforts, loses his arm in the cannon timeline.

Hunted (TMNT 2003, can be read as general)

Summary: What starts out as a late night adventure in the woods beside the farmhouse turns deadly when a group of hunters catch Mikey off guard. Alone and wounded, Mikey struggles to find his way to safety.

TLDR: Mikey is chased by a group of hunters with no way to contact his brothers.

The Shoebox (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Post “Snow Day”, Mikey tearing his coat has drastic consequences that result in him freezing and slipping into brumation.

TLDR: Box turtles, when hibernating, can have no detectable pulse or heartbeat. None of Mikey’s brothers are aware of this and believe that they have just watched their youngest brother die.

Don’t Wander Off (Stay Where You Are) (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Box turtles will keep walking in attempt to find their home if they ever get lost, even if they die doing it. Mikey shares that same instinct.

When he gets lost, he keeps walking. He finds home.

TLDR: Mikey centric angst where he keeps walking despite growing weaker.

Promise (ROTTMNT)

Summary: After the events of the movie, Mikey discovers that, with the increase in his mystic power, he gains the ability to see the future. However, every time he does, he forgets some of his present.

Year after year, a gift twists into a curse, crumbling the relationships between brothers and ultimately ending in a terrible price. But Mikey made a promise all those years ago, and intends to keep it.

TLDR: Mikey sees the future until he forgets everything of his present.

Vs The World (ROTTMNT)

Summary: The Kraang almost-invasion has been hard on the entire family. Michelangelo knows this, and knows he needs to be the one that keeps them all together, like stubborn orange glue.

But his brothers aren’t talking. They aren’t leaving their rooms, trapped in their own traumas. Mikey tries - so, so hard - but the silence is suffocating. He leaves the lair, only to find a stray cat left for dead. And suddenly, he isn’t alone anymore. But he is still breaking, slowly.

TLDR: Mikey find Klunk in the Rise universe whilst dealing with trauma and depression. I am bad at summaries, so give it a quick read if you want.

Wow, this is long. Happy reading @nat06cas, @brightlotusmoon and @sparklingsunkissedsoul and everyone else!

[kimikaami]

Idk why I can’t find that anon ask now?? I don’t think I deleted it??? But anyway I just wanna say, now that I’ve played it once and watched someone else play it once, I heartily (but respectfully) disagree with anon’s assertion that Game Bad bc Anya is Doormat.

Setting aside the entire can of worms that is the idea of a perfect victim… I have two points:

1) I think Anya is just very Real. An earnestly great depiction of how a real woman, who has no choice but to be locked in a tin can with her rapist for who-knows-how long, would handle what happens. Is she passive? Yes. I won’t argue there. But what the fuck else can she do? Her captain won’t help her. She proactively hides the weapon Jimmy might use against her. She tells Swansea to have an ally against him. She makes herself small when she’s around him as to not piss him off further. What else is she supposed to do??

2) You’re forgetting that most of this game is Jimmy’s POV. How we see Anya is going to be colored by his opinion — he’s an unreliable narrator if there ever was one. Because we’re in his shoes (and we don’t have all the puzzle pieces at this point in the game), it’s easy for us as the player to not recognize Jimmy’s bullying for what it is. He’s hard on her because he sees her as A Problem To Deal With.

That’s all. This is all very stream of consciousness so forgive me if I’m not being the most articulate

[fanby-fckry]

How to Support Your Asexual Friend (Who May or May Not Know He’s Ace)

Day 5 of Ace Alastor Week: Friendship Friday

Please ignore that I didn’t post on tumblr, yesterday, I promise I didn’t forget/give up, I’m just indecisive and late. I’ve got one up on AO3, but can’t post it here until I figure out what I’m doing.

Word Count: 2,942

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Warnings: Implied/Referenced Canon-Typical Violence

Relationships: Alastor & Charlie Magne | Morningstar & Vaggie, Alastor & Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Alastor & Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne | Morningstar/Vaggie

Characters: Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Mentioned Rosie (Hazbin Hotel)

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, (mostly), Episode: s01e07 Hello Rosie! (Hazbin Hotel), then timeskip to, Post-Season/Series 01, Fluff and Humor, Fluff, Humor, Attempt at Humor, Light Angst, Friendship, Developing Friendships, Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Aromantic Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Being an Idiot (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor Being Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Good Friend Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Supportive Charlie Magne, Supportive Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar is Bad at Feelings, yeah I said it. she’s not good at them either she just has more of them, Fallen Angel Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Good Significant Other Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Protective Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Asexuality, Ace Community Inside Jokes, Unreliable Narrator, Misunderstandings, Baking, Stress Baking, Talking, Conversations, Crying, Implied/Referenced Canon-Typical Violence

Series: Part 5 of Fanby’s Ace Alastor Week 2024 ( <- Prev || Next -> ) || Part 2 of Piece of Cake! ( <- Prev || )

Summary:

“Remember how you said we could work on supporting Alastor and his ace identity after we survived Extermination Day?” Charlie asked.

Vaggie nodded. “Mhmm.”

“Well, we survived!” Charlie gave an awkward, celebratory thumbs up. “So, now I wanna show my support! Be the good, allo-bisexual ally I know I can be!”

“By baking another cake,” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Yup!”

*

Charlie wants to show some support for Alastor and his asexuality, and decides that the best way to do so is by baking him a cake several cakes! Vaggie does her best to support Charlie in supporting Alastor.

There are only two problems:

Alastor doesn’t like cake.

Alastor doesn’t realize he’s ace.

Better on AO3

Charlie flopped down on her and Vaggie’s shared bed. “You should’ve seen them, Vaggie!” she said. “They were dancing, and singing, and really, really – honestly kind of creepily interested in the idea of getting to eat the invading Exorcists. Especially their wings.”

Charlie grimaced and Vaggie made a mental note not to expose her newly regrown wings while in Cannibal town.

“But I mean, that’s good, right?” Charlie said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself as well as her girlfriend. “Because they’re on our side!”

Vaggie nodded, intently. “Bloodthirsty troops are the most effective kind, sweetie,” she assured her.

Charlie sighed. “Thanks,” she said, smiling softly. “Rosie’s really nice, though.”

“She is?”

“Mhmm,” Charlie hummed. “I didn’t know what to think of her at first because she made a joke about Alastor and I dating and how I’m too young for him, which: First, no. Not dating. I have an amazing girlfriend and I don’t think about Alastor like that, anyway. And second, even if we were dating, I’m pretty sure I’m older than him? Chronologically, at least.”

Vaggie tried her best to follow along with Charlie’s mile a minute rant, but she felt like she was missing some very important context.

“But then she told us she was just kidding, which was a huge relief, and she called Alastor an ace in the hole-”

“Wait,” Vaggie interrupted. “Alastor’s asexual?”

“Huh?” Charlie tilted her head.

“His best friend, who’s known him for decades, called him ace.”

“Ohh.” Charlie shook her head. “No, no, she called him ‘an ace in the hole.’ You know, like a secret weapon.”

“What did she say, exactly?” Vaggie asked.

Charlie thought for a moment. “She made a comment about how I’m ‘too young’ for him, as if we were dating, and then she said, ‘I’m just kidding. I know you’re an ace in the hole.’”

“So, in the context of explaining why it’s obvious that you two aren’t dating,” Vaggie said, slowly. “She called Alastor ace.”

“Yup!” Charlie said, then paused.

Vaggie could see the exact moment the penny dropped.

“Oh,” Charlie said. “Oh shit. Alastor’s ace.”

“Probably aro, too,” Vaggie pointed out. “I bet Rosie said ‘ace’ instead of ‘aroace’ because it fit the pun better.”

Charlie put a hand under her chin. “You know, that actually makes a lot of things make sense,” she said. “I didn’t wanna assume anything, but Al’s kinda…”

Vaggie finished Charlie’s sentence. “Flamboyant in a way that makes gaydar go haywire?”

“Mhmm.”

“Yeah, Angel’s brought that up a few times.” Vaggie sighed. “And by ‘brought up’ I mean complained about. He thinks Alastor is either straight or an incredibly repressed gay man and can’t figure out which.”

“The answer is neither, apparently,” Vaggie added. “Not that it’s any of his business. Or ours for that matter.”

Charlie gasped. “Should we do another lesson on boundaries?” she asked.

Charlie’s words ran together as question after question came tumbling out of her mouth. “What about amatonormativity and asexual/aromantic erasure in the LGBTQIA+ community? Is there a way I can support Alastor without outing him? What if-”

Vaggie kissed her, and Charlie’s questions melted into a pleased hum against her girlfriend’s lips.

“I think we can figure that out later,” Vaggie said once the kiss broke. “Let’s just focus on protecting the hotel, and if we’re alive afterwards, then we can work on supporting Alastor, ok?”

Charlie nodded. “Ok.” She bit her lip. “I guess it’s just that…”

Vaggie waited patiently while Charlie wrung her hands together.

Charlie took a breath. “It’s easier to think about making new workshops and being a good ally to other parts of the community than it is to think about this!” She gestured vaguely to, well, everything.

“I wish I could go back in time before that meeting with Adam.” Charlie sniffled, and Vaggie grabbed a box of tissues from their bedside table. “Before I fucked everything up.”

Vaggie placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and handed her a tissue.

“You did not fuck up,” Vaggie said. “Adam is an asshole. He’s always been an asshole. And Heaven is…”

Vaggie hesitated. She couldn’t think of the right words to describe her feelings about Heaven, even now that Charlie knew what she was.

“We’re going to get through this,” she said instead, and kissed Charlie’s tear-stained cheeks. “Together.”

“Together,” Charlie repeated.

In Charlie’s defense, the first cake was incidental.

They’d just finished rebuilding the hotel – which meant a brand new kitchen! – when Alastor made his triumphant return. And what better way to celebrate the hotel’s completion and her friend’s return than with a cake?

Charlie never actually saw Alastor eat the cake, but he did accept it. And Charlie didn’t find it in the trash, later, so she was going to consider that a success!

The second cake… Well, that was intentional.

“Do we have any purple food coloring?” Charlie asked, rummaging around through the – somehow, already disorganized – kitchen cabinets.

“I’m not sure,” Vaggie said. “But I could run to the store and buy you some if you want, hon.”

“Thanks!” Charlie kept looking. “What about gray? Do they sell gray food coloring or should I just use a smaller portion of black?”

“Uh, Charlie?”

Charlie turned around. “Hm?”

Vaggie was sitting at the island, surrounded by various bakeware and ingredients Charlie had set out. “What are you making that uses all of this” – Vaggie gestured to the somewhat-organized chaos in front of her – “And purple and gray food coloring?”

“I’m baking a cake,” Charlie said cheerfully. “For Alastor.”

“Another one?” Vaggie asked.

“No,” Charlie said, before correcting herself. “Well, ok, yes, but… Let me explain!”

Charlie took a break from her hunt for purple and gray food coloring to join Vaggie at the island.

“I’m listening.”

“Remember how you said we could work on supporting Alastor and his ace identity after we survived Extermination Day?” Charlie asked.

Vaggie nodded. “Mhmm.”

“Well, we survived!” Charlie gave an awkward, celebratory thumbs up. “So, now I wanna show my support! Be the good, allo-bisexual ally I know I can be!”

“By baking another cake,” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Yup!”

“Why?”

Charlie took a deep breath. “Ok, I started by voogling ‘how to support my asexual friend’ and I found a website called HAVEN – Hell’s Asexual Visibility and Education Network, which is actually Hell’s version of a website from the Living World called AVEN that asexual Sinners created for Hell’s ace community – and I kind of wound up going down a rabbit hole about ace culture.”

“Apparently cake is a pretty big thing in the ace community. It’s a…” Charlie hesitated. “Mee-mee?” she guessed. “May-may? I’ve never actually heard anyone say that word out loud…”

“Meme,” Vaggie supplied. “Long E sound.”

“Thank you!” Charlie leaned across the island to give her a quick kiss.

“But yeah, it’s a meme,” Charlie said, pronouncing it correctly that time. “Because a lot of asexual people would rather have cake than have sex. So the saying, ‘I’d rather have cake,’ and cake in general became a whole thing.”

“And the food coloring?”

Charlie grinned so hard her cheeks started to hurt. “I’m gonna bake four layers in the colors of the asexual pride flag!”

Vaggie looked at her fondly. “I love you,” she said.

Charlie’s smile somehow got even brighter. “I love you too!”

Charlie squeaked. “This is gonna be amazing!” she said, bouncing in her seat. “I’m going to get a good grade in allyship! Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve!”

Vaggie shook her head and sighed, a soft smile gracing her adorable face. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s bake a cake.”

Why the hell was Charlie baking Alastor so many cakes?

The first one, that made sense. Alastor had just returned after being mortally wounded in the battle to defend the hotel, and dare he say it, a celebration was in order.

Of course, he would’ve preferred a strong drink or some freshly killed venison, but he graciously accepted the gift he was given. He didn’t eat it of course, but it would’ve been rude to reject Charlie’s misguided attempt at a welcome home gift.

But then came a second. And a third. And a fourth, fifth, sixth cake. What the fuck was going on?

Was there a joke he wasn’t in on? Had Charlie developed some sort of dessert-related madness? Was this her latest hairbrained scheme to send Damned Souls skyward?

It would all come to an end if he would just turn the damned things down. He knew that, but…

Charlie stood in front of Alastor, holding the sixth – the sixth – cake, smiling like the sun he hadn’t seen since 1933. He took the cake, thanked her, and left.

Something had to be done about this. He needed to go see Rosie.

Vaggie walked warily into the hotel’s kitchen. It looked like some kind of culinary warzone. Mixing bowls and baking sheets were piled precariously on top of egg cartons and sacks of flour.

“Hey, hon? Charlie? Sweetie?”

Charlie popped her head up from behind one of the towers of bakeware. There was purple cake batter on her cheek. “Yes?”

“Don’t you think this is getting to be a little…”

Somewhere, something crashed to the ground. Vaggie hoped it wasn’t something breakable. Niffty had a habit of collecting shards of broken glass or ceramic and turning them into makeshift weaponry.

“Much?” Vaggie finished.

Charlie tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Vaggie pursed her lips. “It’s just that…”

A bag of sugar fell from its perch. The only thing that stopped it from hitting Charlie in the face was Vaggie’s quick reflexes.

Vaggie opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted yet again. Not by another object falling from the crumbling towers, but by a different kind of chaos all together.

Alastor returned to the hotel at a completely reasonable rate.

Which is to say, as fast as demonically possible. That was a very reasonable rate considering he was facing the possibility of a seventh cake he could neither eat nor refuse.

When he arrived at the hotel, the first thing he heard was something made of glass being shattered on the kitchen floor. He could only hope that it was Husker drinking while cooking or Niffty breaking glassware to have a mess to clean and sharp objects to play with.

Much to Alastor’s chagrin, it was neither.

The kitchen was a disaster. How Charlie had managed to get it in such a state was beyond him. Alastor had cooked dinner for the other hotel residents just a few nights ago, and while the organizational system was somewhat of a mess – as is often the case when you have seven cooks in the kitchen – it wasn’t anywhere near the catastrophic levels of the kitchen’s current state.

Vaggie was balancing on her toes, wings outstretched, with one arm in the air, holding a bag of sugar over Charlie’s head.

“Hello there, ladies!” Alastor made his presence known before Vaggie could do something ridiculously sappy like pour sugar on Charlie’s head and call her ‘sweet.’

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, knowing damned well that he was.

“No!” Charlie said at the same time that Vaggie groaned, “Yes!”

“Ah, good to see we’re all on the same page!”

Charlie smiled nervously while Vaggie grumbled something under her breath in Spanish. Alastor didn’t speak Spanish, but he was fairly certain that whatever she was saying was both directed at him and incredibly rude. He magnanimously decided to ignore it.

“Charlie,” Alastor said, allowing his voice to drop slightly. “If I might have a word.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, of course!” Charlie made her way through the absolute nightmare that was the hotel’s kitchen, occasionally cursing when something crashed to the ground in her wake.

Vaggie glared daggers at Alastor from over Charlie’s shoulder. And yet, there was something beneath it. Some sense of desperateness. Interesting… He should follow up on that.

“What did you wanna talk about, Al?” Charlie asked once she was finally standing face to face with Alastor.

“I’d like to discuss the cakes.”

Charlie’s face lit up, and from across the room, that look of desperation and wrath on Vaggie’s face intensified. Very interesting indeed.

Almost interesting to make him pause his attempts to stop this nonsense long enough to figure out how he could use it to his advantage. But not quite.

“While I appreciate the gesture, I must admit, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth.” Alastor adjusted his monocle, trying to ignore the way Charlie’s cheery demeanor had started to droop.

He could only hope that Rosie was right about this.

“In fact, I’d rather have garlic bread,” Alastor said, repeating the exact words Rosie had used.

Instantly, Charlie’s expression changed. To what was debatable. Alastor thought he saw about ten different emotions run across her face, most of which he had never had the displeasure of feeling, himself.

When she finally did speak, the words came rushing out all at once. “Oh my goodness, I didn’t mean to assume!”

Charlie reached out as if to touch him, then pulled back, balling her hands into fists and holding them rigid against her sides. Smart girl.

“I’m so, so sorry, Alastor!” she said, barely pausing for breath. “Of course, I know aces aren’t a monolith, I just thought that…”

Charlie continued speaking, but Alastor wasn’t paying very close attention. Whatever she was saying was of little importance and made even less sense.

However, there was one word that kept catching his ear, persistently clamoring across his consciousness like a single note out of tune in an otherwise unremarkable song. And like an off-key note, it didn’t seem to fit within the context provided for it.

Which begged the question…

Why did everyone keep calling him ‘ace?’

Oh, Charlie was starting to look teary eyed. He’d better tune back in.

“…and I just wanna be a good friend.” Charlie’s voice wavered. Her knuckles were somehow even whiter than usual as she fought to keep her hands at her sides, and tears were already starting to spill down her cheeks.

Alastor made an executive decision to cut the waterworks off before they could truly begin. Of course, this would mean he’d be liable for Charlie’s famous ‘happy tears,’ but well… anything was better than this.

Alastor reached out and hugged Charlie, who promptly collapsed onto his shoulder and began to cry what he hoped were the aforementioned ‘happy tears.’

“You are a good friend, my dear,” he said, which triggered another – happy? – sob.

Alastor looked to Vaggie for help. He was out of his depth, here. Somehow Rosie’s advice had both made things better and worse.

Vaggie – whether for the sake of her sweetheart or to put Alastor out of his misery – met them in the doorway.

Alastor was just about to pass Charlie off to Vaggie when she lifted her head off of his shoulder.

Charlie looked up at Alastor with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. “Thank you, Alastor,” she said. “That means a lot.”

Alastor’s own smile softened. “I do consider you a friend, Charlie,” he said, his voice almost entirely unfiltered.

Charlie made a truly pathetic – and somewhat endearing – whimpering sound, and between that and her expression, Alastor suspected that the ‘happy tears’ which had finally begun to stem were threatening to return in full force.

“That’s quite enough of that!” Alastor spun Charlie out of his arms and into Vaggie’s.

“I think I’ve had enough cake to last a lifetime, and enough sentimentality to last two!” Alastor made a show of dusting himself off. Well, it was mostly for show. His shoulder was wet, and a bit of magic goes a long way when combined with such a gesture.

“If you do decide to transfer your obsessive baking fixation into garlic bread, please limit yourself to once a month or less,” Alastor said casually. And then, with just a hint of darkness, “Lest I lose my appetite for that as well.”

Charlie sniffled and wiped her tears away with her palms. Vaggie held her protectively, wings still visible. Her feathers were fluffed the way Husker’s sometimes got when he was feeling rebellious, and she looked like she was poised to kill should Charlie give the word.

Instead, Charlie gave quite the opposite! She giggled, a much more appealing sound than all the sobbing – happy or otherwise. “I can do that,” she said.

Both Alastor and Vaggie let out a sigh of relief.

Oh, so that’s what the look was about. Vaggie was as disturbed by Charlie’s baking mania as Alastor was.

Alastor probably could’ve used that to his advantage – and potentially gotten another Deal out of it – but he was honestly just grateful that the whole thing was finished.

Alastor and Vaggie shared a brief and odd moment of comradery, silently celebrating the end of a hell within Hell.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you both,” Alastor said, more than ready to leave both the conversation and the kitchen. “I’m happy we could put this whole cake confusion behind us!”

“Agreed,” Vaggie said. Her tone and expression spoke volumes. Clearly she’d witnessed horrors beyond Alastor’s comprehension. Which is saying a lot considering the Eldritch nature of his abilities.

Charlie laughed and hummed an, “Mhmm,” in agreement.

Alastor was going to consider that a success!

Alastor hummed along to a song he’d strung together from the airwaves as he made his exit – read, ‘escape’ – from the kitchen.

That had gone smoother than expected, all things considered.

“Ha!” he laughed to himself. Piece of cake.

[the-ultimate-supreme-gremlin]

your post about fanon vs canon pregame v3 characters has me curious, what are your thoughts on pregame shuichi and how he's perceived by the fandom? u mentioned u wanted to talk about him but didn't and now i rlly wanna know what u think hehe

Spoilers for V3 (again (just in case for anyone else lol))

I personally dislike how aggressive they make his love of Danganronpa in fanon. And from one pov I can kinda see it with him being like “I’ll plot the most gruesome murders” or something like that in the audition tape. But honestly he just kinda seems like… a guy? He’s a guy who really likes this show (that he’s somewhat grown up in his teens with probably if he’s been watching for years) and would do anything to be in it.

As I said in the other post, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s exaggerating so that they pick him (although his video seems more genuine in how big a fan he is so I feel like that’s just him in geek mode instead of exaggeration). He’s also just not as creepily obsessed as people portray. He’s not frothing at the mouth at the mention of it or even at the fact he’s auditioning. He’s not acting (for lack of a better word) lewd about it (I’ve seen people characterize that along with the obsession).

He’s just… a teenager who really likes this show. He’s watched it for years and has a chance to be on it! Sure, people die, but if it’s still on air it can’t be that bad!

Also in the prologue he acts very similar to the Shuichi we know (nervous, anxious, but still level headed enough to help lead Kaede away from an exisal). We even see that nervousness in the audition where he’s like “I wanna be a detective but it’s ok if I’m not I just really wanna be on this show” (paraphrase).

That’s not to say his fanon pregame self can’t be written well! I’ve read a fic where they tackled the idea of Shuichi after the game having to grapple with who he was, who he is now, and what he’s becoming going back into what he assumed were old danganronpa obsessed habits (it’s a rlly good fic with an unreliable narrator to boot!), I just think it’s overdone considering what we actually have to work with in game.

TL;DR While he definitely rlly liked danganronpa and was probably hyperfixating HARD (lol), it’s nowhere near as bad as fanon makes it out to be (imo).

(I felt like putting this here because it’s funny to me (and also shows that he isn’t a weird guy who wants to kill whoever he sees) LOL)

[jacksmusesdrv3]

Your twin theory stuff has been going on for quite some time, have you considered making a run down on it because it’s a bit hard to find all your points and information on it because of how long you’ve spent on it and I’m very curious but struggling to put it all together

(Alright, take two since I got stuck for a loooong while)

This is a basic explanation of the Ouma-Monokuma twin theory! I will do my best to condense the concepts down in a way that flows simply and is easily understandable, but it will be hard to cover everything while keeping to the most relevant information. So if this doesn't do the job, I might finish the much longer meta on ao3 at a later date, in which I will cover… everything I possibly can, no holds barred and without the blog links. Which will take considerably longer and need very careful execution. (Yeah, this is the short version…)

General disclaimer: this is a view informed by at least six years of trial and error, ruminating in canon for patterns and their meaning. Through all this, I recognise that it is still a theory, and it doesn't make others’ ideas less meaningful. All the same, I need you to understand that this theory and its analysis is fundamental to my view of Danganronpa as a whole, not just my feelings about Ouma. And in my opinion, the presence of bad writing in DRV3 does not negate that view, either. So if you believe that it does, I hope we can agree to differ on our reader responses instead, after all is said and done. Thank you.

Alright, with that out of the way, dropping this under a cut as it's lengthy. Though rather than a lot of detail on what this means for Ouma's character right now, I'm going to dig through the surface with the basis of reframing, roles, academy history, psychology, narrative style for the mastermind, and the broader consequences, with feelings from my perspective to wrap up. I hope that will help give a perspective of the theory world, so that any evidence I give should fit easier in the future.

⚠️ Reader discretion is advised- this content details abuse further on and will be marked like this! ⚠️ 

[‘Then this story's not over.’]

The way I see this situation is basically like a 3D sculpture with two different pictures- ‘the fiction’ and ‘the conspiracy’. That is to say- in the ‘fiction’, there are things that are effectively motifs or throwaway remarks (such as, Ouma's comment about having a brother in his FTE), but in the ‘conspiracy’, they become clues to a hidden interconnected situation. A puzzle in the meta, essentially.

To begin, I’ll outline components of this framing, as these are necessary to understand how this turnabout works.

Catbox world: the question hanging in the air, 'is HPA fiction, or is it real'? What would the consequences of the latter be for the game and outside world of DRV3? In order to begin answering this, I think this way:

Domino effect: 'when you learn a new fact, you learn something else along with it'. Ex: if HPA is real, a very large and clandestine organisation may also be real, since one was connected to HPA's library. With that possibility opened, there are… a lot more potential threads coming from it.

Unreliable narrator: is there something Shuichi is missing? In Ouma's lab, along with the complete history file there are monitors and a hatch, and in his dorm room there’s a whiteboard with pictures and notes scrawled on, the latter two Shuichi doesn't even notice. There are things he cannot verify too - such as Rantaro's odd memory of the forgotten Prologue - which is left up to us, the players.

Contextual reframe: with the new information, we can infer for example that record keepers of the past are made obsolete, and since the HPA history was in Ouma's lab, this could make him a viable record keeper. If TDR's agenda is with historical record, its identity may be the secret society involved in conspiracies. This can greatly affect some of Ouma's comments in hindsight- one relevant to this is his FTE remark about ‘tricking the entire world’.

With doubt already on the most basic aspect of the 'fiction' narrative (that is, ‘HPA is fiction’) we can apply this principle to the Flashback Lights and by extension, the idea that the cast must also be fiction, too. 

Ex: Shuichi and Kiibo were made to see the Flashback Light panel in a way that was rigged up to be seen- it should not have been visible to multiple persons, so it's likely to have been tampered. We know Shuichi to be helpless with computers, so he would not be able to verify if anything else is amiss (ex. Kubs Pad and other options being withheld). What's more, with ‘fiction things’ - such as the Shukuchi method for Ryoma - being relevant in both the ‘weird backstory’ and in the main narrative, there's a possibility that some of the Lights are real memories or at least closely based on their real experiences.

[‘A liar like me knows their own kind.’]

When you reframe the context in an excessive manner like this, it can also affect known roles, even events and relationships. I reason it beginning like this:

Tsumugi becomes a patsy for Monokuma. Just like the fake Makoto in DR2 led the narrative to trap Hajime, Tsumugi misled others similarly, with incomplete knowledge of her own cospox. That is, her cospox being real in the sense of the effects on her person, doesn't necessarily mean that HPA is fiction, because it's about her perception

Kiibo becomes a patsy for Monokuma, someone whose true (military) nature was obfuscated to himself on a metaphysical level, via code-hijacking. This means that high-powered functions he has are strange to him, and he’s easily manipulated into believing lies about his function (such as ‘strength of a senior citizen’, and the ‘audience surveys’ that he cannot verify) 

Ouma becomes Monokuma’s double, like Mukuro taking the identity of Junko, as the monitors and hatch are a direct parallel to Junko. This means that Ouma has a deeper relationship and notably intrinsic connection to Monokuma as well as less freedom from him, likely has extensive knowledge of everyone, and has his own memories. And from that, an incentive to guide people he considers his friends, to minimise himself and his own struggles while working against Monokuma subtly, even to manufacture his disappearance in ch5 to take the fight to Monokuma alone

Shuichi becomes the ‘shadow mastermind’, like Izuru- the ‘traitor protagonist’ who sealed and sabotaged the group’s will to live, while losing his memory of that. This is reflected by Chapter 1's case, wherein he had created the perfect setup for Kaede to enact her own plan to kill, and had conflict over his actions that he had tried to shut away. It also provides context for Ouma being especially wary of Shuichi, noting on the whiteboard to ‘be cautious’ of him, especially if he has a relationship with Monokuma as well.

These are the big four as far as the mastermind agenda is concerned, but another interesting role-reframe is the Monokubs. Remember that Shirokuma and Kurokuma were fragments of the mastermind, and Shirokuma’s role in UDG is to deceive the player? What if the Monokubs had such a situation, split up into comedic personality fragments? Were the melodramas telling some sort of story as well- the story of Monokuma?

If so, there may be some clues from them. But first…

[‘Designed like a school’]

As to the academy’s lost mystery, it’s possible it was originally an experiment. Rantaro’s hunch was that there was ‘someone behind Monokuma’, and in Salmon mode he points out that Monokuma could have ‘taken over the facility’. A bunch of files in Shuichi’s lab suggest that the culprits of the scenarios were noted for their ‘tricks’, likely pertaining to their Ultimate talent. 

A concerning matter is that the details of the Gopher Project’s plans were crossed out, with us unable to see why youngsters of Ultimate status were required. Doubly concerning is that Ouma himself appears to have amazing, even supernatural ability, demonstrated in ch5 with his scripting- a talent such as that is in line with Junko’s abilities. 

Speaking of that, it must be said that Junko's true ability was left a mystery by the game's end. It was also a subject of much curiosity by HPA, so if Ouma is a supernaturally talented person, that could speak volumes as to his own position. His status as an 'invisible Ultimate’ alone raises questions as to why it has to be hidden, or rather, why he has to obscure it. It could be that he is oppressed by the talent system itself, and if that's the case, perhaps he is its guinea pig along with V3's Monokuma. But it's not just about Ouma's ability- if Monokuma too had a similarly strong supernatural talent and/or circumstance, that could explain not only his posing as a ‘god’, but Angie’s mysteriously intimate knowledge of others' personal ideals through such a ‘god’. That is, if she was possessed by someone with knowledge of the cast's ideals, and who was exploiting them in the Love Hotel. 

Moreover, if Ouma and Monokuma were supernaturally gifted, there's a good possibility that if the vault clues were a layered clue symbolic of them- the ‘light’ and ‘dark’ Monokumas depicted on the ‘twins’ clue for the vault - then they were not only siblings, but twins- identical twins. This allows for another ‘report card misidentification’ a la Junko-Mukuro, while the Flashback Light panel refers to the ‘Gamemaster’ rather than ‘ringleader’ (meaning an identical double could interact with it), and from a lore perspective, twins were known in Danganronpa Kirigiri to be the subject of (highly unethical) research, and identical twins would be the most sought after for genetics reasons.

Such research could eventually wind up creating Ouma and his brother - seemingly the highest of any known talents - through a form of eugenics, not unlike Byakuya’s backstory. From there, there's no telling what could have happened…

[‘Eh…?’]

Now I can get to the psychology behind the bear. If a person behind Monokuma had such a past with this academy, traits can be speculated:

⚠️ Content: incest, child abuse, sexual abuse, psych torture/institutionalisation. ⚠️ 

Vengeful: in ch2, Monokuma suggests he may hate the cast for something, and tells them to ‘work for the answer’. Interestingly, Monotaro (leader persona) makes note of ‘red lies’ in the Salmon mode, and red lies are for revenge. 

Extremely traumatised and mentally ill: if it is Ouma’s brother, and he’s wearing a straitjacket, this could imply institutional abuse. Monokuma’s behaviours in ch3 (a mental shutdown) and ch4 (depression) could denote severe mental damage, and having the academy cleared of bugs gives credence to him having an affliction with bugs like Ouma ( foaming at the mouth and passing out).

Depraved: in ch4, Ouma noted he would ‘strangle the one he loves’ to ‘keep his eyes on him’, and appears to play a similar threatening, possessive role in the Love Hotel. Implied in the Monokubs’ melodrama, Monokuma may have coerced his own sibling into having relations- though he may have forgotten his sibling entirely due to trauma.

People pleaser: Ouma says that he ‘lies to entertain people’ in his Salmon mode ending, which could reflect his persona (Monokuma)’s desires. It may be that his desire to ‘not be boring’ feeds into this persona, too, as it's something so serious to him that it was shown as basically a dying wish.

In this sense, the mastermind can be similar to Monaca- as she took control over the city (while Monokuma stated to have taken over the country), became mentally ill as a result of the abuse inflicted on her, lied (about an injury) in order to make her abusers nicer to her, and became depraved in a way childish and sadistic (in how she toys with Kotoko and Nagisa, for instance). There's also the narrative effect of obscuring her trauma with unreliable narrator, and even Monaca’s own warped sense of humour that obscures it in tandem.

[Twin with supernatural talent (Junko Enoshima), a result of experimentation (Izuru Kamukura), childishness complex (Monaca Towa) and all combined (Kokichi Ouma)]

For narrative styles, DRV3's Monokuma is a culmination of approaches to make the game’s mystery truly warped to its core. Taking the masterminds’ actions from the past games:

Junko selectively picked photographs to sow discord about the group’s reality

AI Junko (a plant by Izuru) tried to lead Hajime into making a choice without proper context

Monaca led Komaru through a growth journey to use her for impact at the end

These can be attributed to: 

the Flashback Lights- some real, others ‘rotten apples’, but overall context is dubious 

the ‘It is fiction’ declaration- may be a leading question, again with dubious context

Shuichi’s ‘confidence growth’- that makes him more credible to those watching outside

(As for ‘context being dubious’, it should be noted that the Twilight mystery has a similar vibe in terms of how it is chopped up and misrepresented on the first viewing. This is particularly interesting when you factor in the mixed Kubs Pads giving other characters information.)

Speaking of ‘using’, Monokuma talks about how someone could be used by expressions of gratitude. In parallel to this, Shuichi is talking about how he was happy to be ‘useful to others as a detective’, and regards their gratitude personally. But it’s concerning that Shuichi and his history is a topic for ‘Monokuma Theatre’, when you factor in what Monaca did in UDG.

The basic concept is: with Monokuma’s agenda towards the end being to throw out foreshadowing and mystery - to deny its purpose - he wants you to make the decision of ignoring the heart, discarding the mystery and the path to the answer. In this sort of vague and unnerving way, a ‘hidden mastermind’ is like a progression of Monaca’s style. Symbolically, Shuichi’s journey seems to be one where he is on the fringe of going astray the entire time, and in this reading, he ultimately does with the loss of the game's mystery. 

What follows is the player's re-examination of the canon context and in this case, a ‘salvage effort’ of what was lost. And ultimately, in the quagmire of broken context, Ouma's mixed relationship with Shuichi is fuel for thought, because his cryptic behaviour - like the game he plays in his FTE - keeps you guessing on what he's been trying to say.

[Members… of what?]

So, factoring in earlier recontextualisation - of the large organisation likely spanning the world - is the idea brought up during Ouma's FTE, that I question like this: could Shuichi have joined a nefarious organisation after all, and following in Salmon mode: is there any indicator Ouma has concerns about Shuichi’s intentions in general (that is, regardless of whether or not his past self would have been capable of less-than-moral decisions)? 

What about others in the cast- a Prime Minister who had run away from her post, a military robot, a super inventor, an assassin? An artist with odd brainwashing powers, a musician with the ability to connect to others’ hearts through music? Because given that the DR2 group had affected the world with their talents after being manipulated, it's possible that the V3 group’s talents had a similar part to play, too. For instance, Kaito’s FTE detailed the possibility of communicating with aliens, and trading technology with them- and as it happens, there is notably a very weird technology in the academy, capable of ridiculous feats. This kind of unknown in the narrative speaks of a whole world that we barely know, even now. 

If this kind of world is what Ouma is burdened by, something beyond the protagonist's understanding, that too is a story waiting to be told. And his strange interactions with Shuichi could be at the heart of this story…

[‘Just hit the reset button on your feelings’]

As for the relationship with Shuichi, that is particularly difficult to give in evidence- partly given the culprit in his backstory, and how if Monokuma was that culprit - someone with a strong agenda against Shuichi - that might link to both twins. But due to the death of one of the siblings in that backstory, it warrants a supernatural idea such as resurrection, that has yet to be proven viable in-universe. If we remember Angie having a weird supernatural air about her though, and that she was implied to be in a cult, you could still infer that cults were involved in the supernatural. It’s entirely possible that a high-profile cult had come to the point of using resurrections, although that’s very much deeplore, as is the supernatural in general.

So while I can’t say too much about technical lore, like with the organisation, I can talk about the vibes I have with the theory, to focus on a sense of grounding in character instead: 

“Ouma and Monokuma are both sidelined by the narrative. A not-insignificant part of that was caused by Shuichi in his past, even if he was led into the cause unwittingly, and the actions of Shuichi’s present self in missing memories. As a result, Ouma is in a nerfed position during the game despite his supernatural talent. Unable to say anything without surveillance, he is under a great deal of stress and pent up, ambivalent feelings - not least towards Shuichi and Monokuma -  that he tries mostly to deflect. After all, it would not do to give too much away, and ruin his own plans.”

I have a detailed ‘song lyric analysis’ of sorts to tie to this, as a way of exploring feelings. Part of the reason I’d go this far, is Ouma as the designated ‘narrative scapegoat’ has always just fit well for me, given that the cast is shown to struggle with their treatment of him. Even leaving analysis aside, I feel it would be very satisfying (cathartic, even!) to explore an angle where he was suppressed, and that his position was legitimately the consequence of others actions right from the start, making the whole ‘pretending to be a villain’ situation even more painfully ironic. 

Plus it would be a welcome change from the notion of ‘misguided morally-grey antagonist who needs to change’, in my opinion, as Ouma’s unchanging self is something I hold particularly strongly. So instead of the arc of drastic change, the thing to explore would be how he functions and struggles with others (in mundane as well as grand ways), and also gets them to change, to understand him. It would also be interesting to expand on the theme of talent abuse, to have a Monokuma who was a product of the corrupt talent system- rather like Izuru was, but this time fully present in the narrative, and in tandem with someone else connected to him.

Overall, I feel that a situation where the protagonist thinks he’s won, while a mysterious someone has been struggling in the sidelines to affect change, is a real goldmine for a mystery situation. Especially from replaying the game, and picking up odd signs that something may not have been what it seemed. There may not be much to go from there (as things stand right now, at least) but the palpable frustration means that through this perspective, I can - at times very viscerally - imagine Ouma’s frustration and powerlessness. That alone colours the game and the interactions in a whole new light for me.

I hope this helped clarify at least some of what the heck is going on- and why I would even see Ouma this way at all, if it’s so convoluted. I have struggled to put it into words all this time, but with the pieces flying in my face from every direction, it’s hard to not try putting them together. I usually don’t game on Hard Mode like this, but something about Ouma compels me- whatever Kodaka’s intentions, I believe him when he says Danganronpa V3 is without end.

Thank you for reading!

[utilitycaster]

As a fellow DM, weren't you at least a little irritated of how Matt handled the shard situation? He once was so open and receptive when it came down to a players choice influencing the campaign, but now he let Tal roll and even after he succeeded he was like "nope, not gonna happen".

Nope!

It was, and I cannot stress this enough, really clear this was a terrible fucking idea. I know a lot of people started to nitpick how Matt said this "might" and "may" shatter Ashton instead of "definitely will", but like...as I said before, as someone with a severe allergy, I don't eat foods that say "may contain peanuts"; the idea that it was a massive risk was abundantly clear, and frankly the fact that in-world Ashton went “well, I’m built different” instead of “hmmm maybe I shouldn’t do Thing That ‘Might’ Make Me Explode” is highly relevant to the discussion. It's no different to me from how DMs (myself included) will often say "are you sure?" to mean "hey pal, this is a really bad idea FYI.” The successful saves mean “this did not kill you permanently.”

I also strongly suspect that Matt and Taliesin discussed this because Taliesin seemed pretty unsurprised by the top of the episode when Ashton’s Con score was reduced. I don’t know for sure - I’m hoping either Matt or Taliesin will be on the next 4SD to talk about it - but that’s the impression I got. If I had to guess I would say it was a choice between “the powers are somewhat nerfed because you already have a shard in you,” or “hey do you want the opportunity to do a much needed dramatic breakdown,” and I know which one I’d take. I could be wrong, but if this was the case, it would be a very thoughtful way to DM this.

Setting aside any DM-ing experience: I’m interested intellectually in what might have happened had Ashton successfully absorbed the shard, but also, I have watched that first half conversation literally every day since it aired except today, because I am on a train and my internet is unreliable and it’s not out as a podcast yet. I’m an episode 2x72 and C1 Feywild arc girl. I would like to see my favorite character have a complete breakdown at some point in the campaign. This is probably my favorite episode of C3 so far. I think this makes for a far, far superior story than the alternative and is not only giving a much needed shock to the Bells Hells character dynamics on the whole, but is also opening up some room for another character to take the shard and, now, for cool things to happen during the Feywild retreat. If Delilah eats the shard? If Fearne learns some deep secrets? If Chetney makes a deal with Morri? That is going to be because Ashton was rejected by the shard, and I’m far more fascinated by those possibilities than “Ashton gets super powerful, learns nothing.”

To that point: I know as always that it’s hard to convey tone via the written word on anon, but this feels frustrated toward the campaign in general, and while I do have my thoughts about the railroading earlier on, there’s actually only a few points where I really feel Bells Hells were outright shut down and honestly they were relatively minor (I do not personally mind the solstice episode cut scenes; that feels right for an event of that magnitude). I think it’s valid to feel that way, but I guess the best way to put it is that if you’re frustrated on the whole this feels like an odd place to vent it, and if you’re mad because Ashton is also your favorite character, I am interested in my favorite characters in part because of their development and their dynamics with others in the party. I am not here to watch the Ashton Is Super Cool And Everything Works Out Well For Them show; I’m here to watch the Ashton Goes Through It show.

[f1llory]

i know a lot of people think it's not that deep but idk, the constant desire for more gory stories of past hunger games rubs me the wrong way. don't get me wrong, i'm all for fanfics exploring that, but there's a reason there will never be novels detailing that.

the reason people want spinoffs for finnick and johanna is the fact that we love them. there is nothing that would be added to the universe if we had an official/canon account of their games. they're typical games and typical victors--which i think is the point of their character. they're different from each other in some ways, but their stories are so common among victors--because that's simply what the capitol does to people.

i'm not sure i agree with the people who think it's inherently bad for people to be interested in that. there's a reason people are interested in that. the characters and worldbuilding in the hunger games are so beautifully done that there's always something to notice, theorize about, explore, and expand on. i just think that having novels on things like this would be pointless--and detrimental to the message of the series. the point is not to show violence for violence's sake, the point is to show what it takes for people to become who they are, and how the choices they make can lead to either oppression or liberation. that being said, i'm all for exploring them in fanfic. i think fanfic is an incredible thing, i love reading and writing it, and there are so many things that fans of the series can explore and create.

i'm also all for new novels if they happen! i just think they would have to add a hell of a lot more to the world of panem than the gory details of a typical hunger games to satisfy people's curiosity. here's some things that i think would be cool to see:

-the life of an avox in the capitol. this would give a totally different outlook on life in the capitol, since we've only seen people who benefit from the system and not those who are punished by it. this could be some random unknown avox but because i'm me, i would LOVE to have a full pollux spinoff i'm literally in love with him

-a victor we've never seen and their life after the games. it could show their life after returning to their district, how they're viewed, how their view of their district has changed. this could also be an interesting way to see a little more of the mentoring process and the toll it takes

-something exploring life in any of the districts we haven't gotten to see. this could also be part of the previous idea, i just think it would be interesting since our knowledge of so many districts are limited. although maybe that's the point? all we know of panem is through the eyes of two deeply unreliable narrators

-the first rebellion, or anything set before the hunger games were created. how was panem different back then? and how did things get to the point of such a big rebellion?

-are there people living outside the bounds of the districts? obviously people like lavinia have been caught trying to escape, but there very well may be people living out there. i wonder what they'd think of what was going on, or if they'd come into contact with people escaping to district 13. and no i do not want this to involve lucy gray i never want confirmation on what happened to her

basically, there's so much more of panem i'd like to see explored, but there are some things that i don't want to see, or expect to see, in any offical continuation. i absolutely love fanfics exploring those things, or anything other fans find interesting. i just think that there are so many things that could be added to the canon and i don't understand the focus on the idea of novels that would really detract from the way suzanne collins approaches her work.

in conclusion i am simply losing my mind over tbosas and i’m using a blog i never use to yell into the void thank u for reading

[luxury-nightmare]

mom says it’s my turn on the writing

tw for mentions of abuse. Nothing to graphic because I cannot write well enough to write something like that with the tact required but it’s there. I would’ve removed it but the video where I get most of my info from described Jack Walker as an “abused toy store owner” and this is what I picture

I do not condone any of the of the actions mentioned in the section and I will take this fic down if it triggers anybody. Jack is an unreliable narrator in this section and I do not believe his thought process

Section starts at “Away from her” and ends at “He moved into the office down the hall.”

Hiding a velidgun from the asylum was way easier than it should have been.

He had been sneaking Klaus into the asylum to keep an eye on him. The velidgun was young, in both lives he had lived, and believe it or not, it’s kinda hard to hire a babysitter for a pink mouse demon that feeds on your sanity.

He knew this was a stupid idea, but the asylum would get suspicious if he took too many days off, and telling Klaus to use his illusions to hide himself whenever anyone walked in was surprisingly effective. He had been trying to keep himself busy as he worked, but Klaus asked a lot of questions.

“Hey Mort?” He asked. Mortimer looked up from his desk and at the young velidgun “yes Klaus?” He said. Klaus leaned against Mortimer’s chair “why do you work here?”

Mortimer put his pencil down. “It pays well, why?” Klaus fidgeted with the pen he was holding “do you, want to work here?” He asked, disgust in his voice. Mortimer rolled his eyes “Absolutely not” he snarled.

“Then why are you here?” Klaus replied bluntly. Mortimer paused, stewing over his thoughts. “I have to, who else would hire, y’know” he gestured to his body. It had been a particularly bad day for his symptoms. The stripes were fully defined now, and his face was completely obscured by inky shadows, two yellow eyes peaking out of the blackness.

“So?” Klaus shrugged, standing up and looking at Mortimer with confusion “can’t you just use your illusions to look human like Auncle Alex does?”

“They haven’t kicked in yet.” Mortimer said.

He still didn’t know why Alex was still making themself look human. They knew what they were, what they were becoming, and they all accepted it. Why would they need to deny it?

Maybe they still hadn’t accepted it themself.

Klaus’s crestfallen face struck at something in Mortimer’s heart. “I never wanted to be here,” he started before he could stop himself “I had a show I wanted to make, got the degrees and learned how to animate. Drew for it a lot too. But it takes a lot of money to start up a show that maybe won’t make it back. I needed a steady job so I could start it up eventually, but now I’m stuck here,”

A hit of malice snuck out of his voice as he spoke those last few words. He shook himself out of it, “it’s not all bad though, I guess.” He finished, then turned to look at Klaus, who looked almost lost in thought.

“Alex said something about a ‘candy mouse’ when I was first created, that was your show wasn’t it” Mortimer blinked a couple times. He had hit the nail right on the head. “Yeah” he said, putting his hand on Klaus’s head

“You look just like him”

————————————————

Needless to say Klaus was bored.

Mortimer said that he needed quiet to work, and Klaus could understand. He didn’t like loud noises very much either.

But what Mortimer didn’t tell him was that his work hours were so long.

The hunger was back

He had been looking through some of the older papers in the back of the office, some older concept art for Candy Mouse that Mort was to sentimental to throw away. Klaus was drawn to them as well. These are technically where he was created, he shared a face with Mort’s favorite character after all.

Some drafts of older character were stored back here, and Klaus got a good look at them. An odd fusion of a snake and a bat dressed as a news reporter, a demon-like character with twisted horns, and in the very back, a green rabbit character.

Klaus quickly became fascinated with this particular draft, digging through the papers and cardboard boxes to find more drawings. He bumped into a particular box with a bit to much force, leaving a dark stain on the cardboard.

“Klaus?” He heard Mortimer’s voice from the desk. He barely noticed until the animator was right behind him. Mortimer had a pension for appearing unnoticed. Klaus jumped and knocked the box with the stain over, spilling drawings all over the floor. “Oh, careful there” Mortimer turned to clean up the mess “I was just coming over to tell you it’s time to go.” He moved the drawings into a pile, then turned to put them back in the box.

He paused, looking at the box, then back at Klaus. “Did it look, like that when you saw it?” Klaus turned back to the box.

A box now completely covered in deep, black ink.

The two watched in confusion as the ink dripped off the cardboard , revealing green patterns that resembled a Jack-in-the box.

“Honestly, I’m too tired to be worried about that right now” Mortimer sighed. Klaus was still confused, but moved closer to Mortimer “come on, let’s go home”

————————————————

Jack had been here since the Halloween incident. He had been offered a janitorial position in the asylum, and with Grimso’s not doing so well after the break-in, he had taken it. The shifts were long, but any excuse he had not to be at home, he would take.

Away from her.

He shudders. Dear lord he needed to man up. A couple mean words wouldn’t kill him.

His check still burned from the times she had slapped him

He moved into the office down the hall. This one belonged that animator guys he believed, Mortimer Gray. He was not looking forward to this.

He opened the door and sure enough, the place looked like a tornado had run through it. Papers and pencils were strewn across every surface. He sighed, and grabbed his broom. This was going to be a long night.

As he turned the corner though, something caught his eye. A box. He turned to get a better look at the thing, accidentally dropping his broom as if in a trace. The thing remained him of an old school Jack-in-the-box, with elaborate designs and twisting green patterns covering every surface. It almost gave him a headache to look at.

Why would an animator need this? Better yet, why would the asylum even give it to him? Was it a personal belonging? He had found weirder stuff in here before.

He couldn’t help himself, he opened the lid and looked inside.

He was greeted with a darkness so intense he swore the world look brighter when he finally managed to tear his eyes off the thing. He stepped back. Something was wrong about this thing, and he wasn’t about to find out what. He grabbed his broom and moved out of the office, planning to just come back later.

Then something grabbed his ankle.

He looked back in horror to see a goopy black tendril emerging from the box. He tried to run, but the thing dragged him towards the box’s open maw no matter how hard he squirmed. He tried to bat it off with his broom the no avail.

The box’s open lid looked more and more like a predators jaws as he was dragged closer to it. He watched in horror as his foot was dragged into the darkness.

And suddenly, the darkness was looking back with yellow eyes.

His screams blended in with the patients.

————————————————

Mortimer walked into his office, tired from the night before. Alex had volunteered to look after Klaus, and he just needed to work.

So when he found a new velidgun lounging on his desk, emerging from the box from last night like a Jack-in-the-box from hell, he was both shocked, confused, and incredibly frustrated.

Dear Six Lord he had made another one.

[lappel-du-vide83]

Also getting back to the manhwas train I finally read debut or die which was?? Not at all like I was expecting?? But anyways, here are just my reactions (often kinda random) but I hope you read through and can figure out what's going on while finding it funny!

Also don't ask me which chapter it starts at because brother in arms I don't know either

EUGENE IS SO FUNNY

[VTIC Cheongryeo sunbae-nim: Call me if you feel like dying ^^]

- LMFAOOOO what

didn’t know where this dogsh*t idea came from. Does his pituitary produce saliva instead of hormones? It was fortunate that he was the type to be impressed by trivial interpersonal relationships.

- woah what went straight for the jugular

I never thought that the situation where I cried for the first time in nearly 7 years would be live in front of a camera with 13,000 people.

- AND AIN'T AFRAID TO CRY

- OR TREAT HIS MAMA RIGHT

“You didn’t have a trashy attitude back then, Moondae. You just worked hard even though you were sick. Chungwoo hyung was worried too.”

- Oml

[We have to lose!]

- Bless cha Eugene's heart

-- HE'S SAYING IT IN ENG

Hey, that’s scary. I’m scared.’

- Behold the intelligence of mcs

The company’s internal network structure is derived from T1.’

- HOLY SHIT THIS GUY'S DEDUCTING SKILLS IS CRAZY

- Have you considered a career in

- Forensic?

He also gave very American advice.

- LMFAO

I cheered as I reviewed the ten-day seclusion plan.

- FR

- secluded for 10 days sounds like the DREAM

‘I am so f*cking uncomfortable with it, you bastard.’

- Leave the poor man alone 😭

-- Is this..?

-- THE KIDNAPPING???

(- WHAT

Why don’t you try to commit suicide?”

- CRAZY BASTARD

-- He is now the kidnapper

--- Kidnappee turn kidnapper

Because I beat the sh*t out of him.”

- Amen

It’s okay. I won.”

- HELL YEAH YOU DID

The fact that I was injured enough to go to the hospital was funnier.

- WHAT STOP

- HE COLLAPSED

- WTF

- PLS REST

--

HE'S ACTUALLY SO MANIPULATIVE

-- USING THE SKILL

-- SUBTLY CHANGING THEIR THOUGHTS IT'S CRAZY

---

DO YOU REALLY WANNA WORK THAT HARD

Arent you drinking too much

- ONG was not expecting this to actually be a problem

You look tired these days!”

- OMG HE _IS_ AN UNRELIABLE NARRATOR

--

Oh no he got a SURPRISE BDAY PARTY

-- Woah so his actual one is 8 dec??

-- That's awfully close

---

WATCHING RED PANDAS IN THE CORNER OF HIS ROOM

--- SAUR CUTE

----

HIS GRANDMA IS AN OPP

---- I'M SORRY IT'S REALLY MEAN BUT GET IT TOGETHER GIRL

---- OMG CHA YUJIN INSISTING THAT HE STAY

---- URGHHH MY HEART

Self criticism should be done during spare time not when it's a nuisance

- I respect this man so much

like a brainless idiot

- STOP

- YOU ARE SMART

- AND AMAZING

- YOU JUST GIVE 200% AT THE WRONG TIMES

--

AW OMG HE CARES SO MUCH

-- BLESS RAEBIN

-- EVERYONE ACTUALLY

-- THEY ARE THERE FOR EACH OTHER SO MUCH

- - -

Woah wait so they're aiming for a Moondae is the the same person as bae sejin feel??

--- I am INVESTED in the mv lore

It doesn't matter if it was worse this time

- NO

- IT'S ALREADY SO BAD

- THE RECOIL SHOULD NOT GET WORSE

- THAT'S RIGHT SLEEP MORE

- JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BACCHUAS DOESN MEAN YOU DONT NEED SLEEO

--

OH NO

-- THE ACCIDENT

-- STOP

-- ARGHHH

-- WILL YOU REST PLEASE

-- OH THANK FUCK

---

WAIT

--- NO

--- NONONONO

--- STOP

--- NOT ALLT HE WAY BACK

--- Daydream??

( how desparate he is)

- OH MY FUCKING GOD

- SHOULD I JUMP OFFF

- NO

- OMG

- NO

--

OMG THIS REALISATION is Tearing me APART

rapid prayers in spanish

- the angst here is killing me

--

THANK GOD FOR NECTAR

-- 18 DAY COMA

OMFG

-- CHA YUJIN IS SAUR CUTE

-- BRIBED HIM WITH TANGEIRNES

-- HE'S SORRY

-- HE IS FORGIVEN

-- CHA YUJIN KEEPING QUIET ABOUT VTIC

-- AND BLACKMAILING MOONDAE

-- SO ADORABLE

---

FUNDRAISING

--- He's actually so sweet

--- PLS EVERYONE WAS CRYING

"do you think I'm some kind of sociopath"

- SEJIN NO

- THEYRE FRIENDS <333

- PLEASE I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY

--

So the system is actively trying to help him??

---

TSRANDED ARC!!

--- Lights out :0

--- SAVE THE CHICKENS

--- The secret door is so ominous

--- Horror arc

--- OMG MOONDAE GOING wtf do I do??

--- SO REALL

--- WAS SO SCARED FOR A SECOND

----

THE MEETING

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- OMG

---- AHHHHHH

---- DID HE RUN AWAY???

---- I'M SO CONFUSED

---- BUT RGW IN THIS CONTEXT IS SO SWEET

HE TRIED TO COMMIT DEATH

- WHAT

- WHAT THE FUCK

- HUH

- IT ENDED LIKE THAT????

- No more abnormalities???

- WHAT

--

:OO A CONVO WITH OG PMD

Ah the need to be in control of every situation

- So valid

AND THEN MY TEXTS JUST END THERE SO...

anyways hope you had a laugh

And I really hope this fandom gets so much bigger than it is now :)

[geminiskulleta]

Thanks for voting!! I’m glad Flora won she’s my fave 💞

Flora - The Scholar

Link: Hero of the Wilds

Age: 10,123 (23 physically)

• The most resilient and devoted of all the Zeldas. She will never give up anything she sets her mind to.

• When she’s truly happy and confident her smile is really goofy, her smile is contagious too

• Came back from being a dragon about six months ago, she is still coping with her trauma and found leaving her Hyrule the most difficult.

• The others admire her a lot for all she has went through, but she still feels inferior as she “failed” her first mission - the others wholeheartedly disagree.

• Often has night terrors and bad dreams about losing Link again, Dusk is usually the one to help her through them.

• Dusk is like an older sister to her because of their shared love for education. She sees Lullaby as a mother figure and resonates a lot with her, too. She is the only one who knows about Lullaby’s first adventure.

• She is just as feral as Link. You wouldn’t guess it because of her calm and gentle appearance but she can be a menace when she wants to.

• Fable decided to help her to better understand her magic, but she seems to be falling into her old pattern of pushing herself too far again.

• Easily has the most powerful magic of all Zeldas, but she isn’t able to harness it properly so it is a bit unreliable. Sometimes she can use recall but it’s a bit finicky on when it decides to work. She hasn’t managed to make anything else work yet.

• She is trying to research the black blood and portals to find the links, and she has actually been a huge help to the whole team.

• She and Tetra get on surprisingly well too, they both share that curious nature.

• She looks up a lot to Sun, too as she is the first reincarnation of Hylia. She feels very insecure around her and is sure that she hates her.

• Will document every new flower, landmark, creature and recipe the Zeldas come across on her sheikah slate in hopes to show Link when they meet again. She misses him dearly and prays every night that he is safe and well.

• After being with the others she makes so much improvements on her magic, they are all so proud to see how far she came.

• Can get tunnel-visioned easily and once she gets an idea in her head she has little time to think of anything else

Relationship with link

• She and Wild are deeply in love, and when together they will never leave each others side. After TOTK, Wild refused to let go of her hand in fear of losing her again.

• Wild taught her shield surfing, cooking and also gave her some sword training and archery lessons. She is a very quick learner and after being away for so long she has made it her mission to learn as much as possible.

• Both of them feel very guilty towards one another, each thinks that the calamity was their fault and that they weren’t strong enough

• Sometimes Flora wonders if Link would still love her if he kept all of his memories, but she pushes that thought deep down.

• They are very very awkward around each other when it comes to being intimate, Floras face will go as red as a tomato any time Wild kisses or hugs her, but she loves when he does it.

• They always help each other through nightmares or panic attacks, both are very damaged but their saving grace is each other.

• Link brought her to every place he saw during his first and second adventure, and even to the sky islands. She found the constructs adorable and asked them so many questions about how they worked.

• She feels very self conscious about her rambling but Wild always listens enthusiastically- no matter the subject.

• The two constantly ride their horses around Hyrule and have picnics near lovers pond. She also started coming along with Wild whenever there were reports of monsters.

• When he was scooped up by the shadow after TOTK, Flora was hell-bent on finding Wild again.

[cheriladycl01]

Quirk #3

Here is my third quirk idea! Feel free to use this in your fanfics (just give me credit if you directly got it from me) obviously I know however I’m not the only creative person in the world and that some people may have also had these ideas before me!

Quirk: Omnis Oculi

Her quirk basically gives her adaptive sight that she can adapt to different scenarios

This entails:

- Pretty much any ability related to sight. So x-ray vision, aura vision, heat vision etc.

- She would develop her quirk at lot at her time in school wherever that is. She and do internships with different hero’s to help her in different aspects of her quirk .

Weaknesses

- Can go temporarily blind if quirk is overused. However she can still use her quick. She’s just blinder for longer. Gets to the point where she spends most of classes blind.

- Using certain aspects of her quirk will hurt her the way used. So for example is she uses Heat Related Vision she will Burn her eyes.

- Gets headaches due to the concentration

- Rapid Blinking and Dry eyes (Like Aizawa)

- Very easy to see and target her weakness, damaging her eyes would damage her quirk.

Strengths

- Her quick is one of the most versatile as she’s good for support, offence and defence. So with how much she can do it’s an incredibly strong quirk despite it only coming from one area of her body.

- She’s very emotionally smart due to some aspects of her quirk helping her see more.

Hero Name:

The Sight Hero: Optic

Zodiac: Aries

Ethnic Background: Indian / Japanese

Height: 5ft 5

Weight: 123ibs

Style: Preppy

Physical Traits: Eyes change colour depending on what aspect of quirk is being used. Normally wears glasses to help generally with her deteriorating sight.

Mannerisms: She has one of those polite tight lipped smiles and tends to just nod and agree with everything.

Favourite:

Food: Her Moms Green Bean Cassrole with Fried Onions

Drink: Mango Smoothie

Colour: Light Blue

Weather: Sunny

Possession: Hair Bows

Morning Routine:

Eye drops are a must, as she tends to wake up with dryer eyes.

Hobbies:

Knitting and Rock Climbing

Special Skills:

Gymnastics

Pet Peeves:

Unreliability whether it be a person or object

Bad At:

Being confident in herself

Biggest Fear:

Her friends dying and her not being strong enough to have done something.

Greatest Flaw:

She apologises for everything and people like Bakugo get really easily annoyed by this. She always thinks she’s the one on the wrong.

Goals:

To be a hero strong enough to protect her friends.

Who I see them with:

Guys - KIRISHIMA, Snipe

Girls - Ochako , Mt Lady