#i’m tired of embarrassing myself how do i just be normal

[priestfrommidnightmass]

i hate when i do this thing where i say something i don’t think is offensive or off color at all and then people react either by laughing in my face or by pointing out that it’s totally offensive

[froggiewrites]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

SFW

Summary: You spend the night crying into your drinks about how much you want Sanji, and how much it hurts he's in love with someone else. Sanji spends the night crying about much the same. Your friends get sick of it, and decide to help the idiots realize what everyone else already knows. Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Misunderstandings, Sanji and Reader both being idiots Word Count: 4.1k

You are going to get drunk tonight. Plastered, even.

Another day, another victory, another adventure spent staring longingly at Sanji when you were sure he wasn’t looking. You could usually handle the embarrassment of acting like a lovesick puppy for a man you knew didn’t feel the same, but something about today really set you off. Maybe it was the way he so sweetly called Nami’s name when you all reunited, or the way he so carefully prepared Robin her favorite drinks, or some other transgression you can’t quite remember. You don’t know exactly what it was, but you know you’re irritated and hurt and a little heartbroken, and there’s about a half a dozen drinks with your name on them behind the bar.

The tavern is lively and loud, and the rest of the crew is clearly having a good time. Your eyes briefly linger on Sanji at the bar, but you try to force your eyes away. No point in lingering here, yearning for something you can’t have. You instead make your way to the back of the room, wedging yourself between Zoro and Robin, who seem to be drinking in silence together.

You had intended on sharing in the peaceful silence, broken only by some quiet comments and gentle chuckles, but three drinks in you can see them side-eyeing you, brows furrowed.

“What?” Your voice comes out harsher than you meant it to, but you’re a bit too drunk to care.

“Just surprised you’re drinking so much, is all. You normally pace yourself more than this.” Robin’s voice is quiet and controlled, as though she’s just making a passive observation, but you know your friends and you know she is deeply worried about you.

“I had a bad day.”

“Really? You seemed fine earlier.” Zoro sounds genuinely surprised. Robin shoots him a look you can’t read, and he quickly shuts his mouth.

“Does this have anything to do with a certain someone?” Her voice is kind, so kind, but it makes you clench your jaw anyway.

“No.”

Silence.

“Maybe.”

Zoro mutters, “Oh, god damnit,” before taking another stiff pull of his drink.

“What happened, exactly? You both seemed perfectly friendly this morning.”

“I don’t…know. Everything was fine until it wasn’t, and now I’m all twisted into knots and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Well maybe you can start by telling us how you feel, and we can try to help you unravel all of this.”

“We?”

You both ignore Zoro’s confusion and indignation. “Maybe…if you think it will help.” You close your eyes, grounding yourself, and focusing wholly inward. “I just think I’m…tired of wanting things I can’t have. It’s really hard to be on a ship full of people living their dreams, fighting for everything they desire, and I’m here, feeling like I have to constantly hold so tight I feel like my fingers will break or else it’ll all slip through my fingers.”

“And do you feel like you’re holding onto Sanji?”

“Not just him, I guess. To everything. To all of you. But I’m trying to let myself believe that all of this is what I want, and that it’s going to be forever, and then I see him smile at someone else and the illusion just…shatters. I’m not happy. And I know damn well it won’t last forever. I feel like I’m stuck waiting for an inevitable ending that I’ll never be satisfied with. Right now, I’m in limbo, and I can keep pretending that it doesn’t hurt, but every time I think about how hopeless I feel with him it kind of reminds me of how hopeless it all is.”

You put your head in your hands for a moment, taking a deep breath. “And it’s not only about him, right? It’s just kind of a general dissatisfaction with where I am compared to you guys. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t more about Sanji than it isn’t. He’s both, like, a symbol of it and the source of it. He’s the thing I want most, and he’s the thing I know I’m never going to have.”

“Why do you think you’ll never have him?”

“Because he’s in love with Nami.” You say it like it’s obvious.

Zoro is glaring at his drink, still wondering how he got roped into this conversation and praying you stop, while Robin gives you a gentle look resembling sympathy. There's something behind her eyes though, something you can't read, that makes you feel a bit uneasy.

"It's one thing, to have your love unrequited. For the man you're in love with to be hopelessly smitten with someone else. But god, it's another for him to be right."

"Right?" Robin's voice doesn't betray anything as she keeps her tone to a careful academic neutrality.

"It's just...she is that wonderful. I can't be upset about it because I can't blame either of them. She's beautiful and kind and capable and he's...well. He's everything. It just makes sense. It's somehow harder not to be bitter because I really don't have anything to be bitter about, if that makes sense."

"It would make sense if anything you said was true." Zoro's voice is gruff,  and you look to him in surprise, only to find his expression mirroring your own, as though he can't believe he opened his mouth. "He sucks, and she's great and all but she's no angel. And they aren't in love anyway so I don't understand what the problem even is." You think he's trying to help. Sweet, if ineffective.

"He's in love with her. He has been since the day they met. You know that, you were there."

"That isn't love. He's just a horny idiot."

"He's not an idiot." You hate how defensive your tone gets, how pathetic it makes you feel. You hate even more that Zoro and Robin both look at you with undisguised pity.

"I think what Zoro is trying to say is that you seem to think his feelings for Nami go a lot deeper than they do. They're just friends. He just speaks to all women like that."

"Not me."

You all hate the silence that follows.

"He hits on you too." Zoro's voice is a little weaker than before, knowing his argument isn't exactly rock solid. He's kind to you, complimentary, but he's never rushed into battle alone to save you. He's never ridden in on a blazing white steed for you, not like he has Robin or Nami. And sure, you've never been kidnapped like them, but it's hard not to feel the difference when Mr Prince himself has never played his part with you. He's kind to you, so very kind, but he's kind to everyone. That's just who he is.

“You know it isn’t the same, Zoro. It’s always Nami first. It always has been. He talks to me the same way he would any woman. Less than that, even.” You start tearing up despite yourself, and you hope your friends will blame your fragility on your drink and not your tender heart. “He just…he doesn’t look at me like that. He doesn’t fall at my feet, and it’s not like I want him to but…” You break into a quiet sob, and Robin’s hand comes to your shoulder, rubbing calming circles there.

Zoro leans in a bit, clearly a little uncomfortable but worried and kind nonetheless. “That stupid cook cares about you a lot more than any stranger on the street, and I think you know that. He’s just an idiot.” You look up at him, confused, and Zoro tries not to let out an annoyed sigh at your obliviousness. It isn’t entirely your fault. Who could blame you for thinking what you did? It’s not like Sanji helped with that. He didn’t give you the dramatic love confessions he did Nami or Robin. Nami had asked him once why he sang your praises differently than he did theirs, and he had insisted that he would give you only the grandest speeches, once he had prepared words worthy of you. The rest of the crew quickly figured out what he really meant: he was too nervous to say such a thing when he really meant it.  He would instead tuck his love into the food and drinks he served you, into the jacket he placed over your shoulders when you were cold, into the gentle smiles he gave you when you weren’t looking. Everyone had agreed not to push him before he was ready, to let you both find your way to each other naturally, but it was becoming apparent this was the wrong move.

You keep crying into your glass, and Zoro sighs. You’re both ridiculous. What a pair.

Across the bar, Usopp lets out his fiftieth sigh of the night. He has no idea how he got roped into this. Sanji is somewhere between sorrow and rage, buried in a pile of empty glasses that reek of beer. He's been going on for at least fifteen minutes now, and if Usopp had even slightly less of a conscience he'd leave him here to wallow, considering his problem is entirely self-inflicted. But unfortunately, Usopp is a great friend, so instead he bravely sits on this barstool, a listening ear to make sure Sanji's drowning his troubles doesn't end in Sanji himself drowning after he stumbles his way home alone.

"It's not right." Sanji's voice is shaky with emotion, even with his words slurred.

Usopp sighs, pretending he hasn't heard this exact line of conversation three times tonight. "What's not right, buddy?"

"He doesn't...he doesn't deserve her. He isn't good enough for her. That stupid swordsman...what does she see in him?" He takes another swig of his drink, letting out a deep sigh and dropping his shoulders. "He's just...he's not even nice to her. Not like he should be."

"He's being nice to her right now." Usopp motions over to where you're having your own pity party, one Zoro seems to have become an unwilling guest of. Robin is patting your shoulder in sympathy, while Zoro leans closer to say something to you, care and concern obvious on his face to those who knew him.

"But he should worship her. Everyone should. She's...she's..." Sanji drunkenly trails off.

"An angel?"

"A goddess." Despite the glaze over his eyes, his conviction shines though, granting him a focus he hasn't had all night as he gazes at her. "Someone to be cherished, protected, adored. He doesn't adore her. He should be on his knees right now begging for her attention, and he's just...talking to her. Like he would anybody."

"Probably because they're friends."

"But look at her. She clearly wants more than that. She should get whatever she wants. On a silver platter." Sanji really emphasizes that last part, lips pouting and brow tightening. Usopp looks over again to see you about to cry into your drink, leaning further into Robin. You aren't even looking at Zoro right now, but Sanji is still burning with envy. Usopp would love to set him straight, tell him that anyone with eyes could see who's attention you really wanted, but he knows you'd kill him, and he quite likes being alive. Sanji's so filled with malice and self loathing right now that he probably wouldn't even believe him, anyway. For a man so delusional about love, he somehow can’t see it when it’s right in front of him.

“I think you’re a little lost here, Sanji. She’s not in love with Zoro. She’s just drunk and sad. Reminds me of someone else I know.” He keeps that last part under his breath, and Sanji is drunk enough not to have heard it. Instead he frowns, taking another swig of his drink before trying to stand and falling directly into the counter. Your head pops up across the room, eyes wide and concerned, ready to leap to Sanji’s rescue. It’s amazing how blind that man must be to not see how obsessed with him you are. Usopp waves you off before hooking his hands under Sanji’s armpits and hauling him up. “Time to go, loverboy. You’ve had enough.”

“But she needs me!” Sanji struggles, but he’s so drunk he can’t properly utilize his strength. Lucky, or he’d already be halfway across the room to make an ass of himself. Usopp notices a small trickle of blood on his forehead from where he made contact with the bar.

“She’s fine, I promise. But you need to take a trip to see Chopper.”

“I need to help her! I can’t leave a lady in distress!”

“The lady will be in a lot more distress if she sees you’re hurt, Sanji! So get moving!” Usopp starts dragging him unceremoniously from the tavern, praying Franky will still be awake when he gets back to the ship to help him maneuver Sanji into his cot. Sanji passes out about halfway back to the Sunny, mercifully. Usopp hopes Robin and Zoro are having a better time with their other drunken crewmate.

You wake up with a pounding headache and the worst case of dry-mouth you’ve ever experienced. Your eyes just barely crack open, letting in a blinding ray of light, and you let out a small groan of pain. There’s a large glass of water by your bedside and some pills, as well as a small note from Chopper telling you to meet him in the infirmary once you feel up to walking. You chug the water and take your medicine gladly, touched by the sweet gesture. Your crew takes such good care of you.

It takes a while for the medicine to kick in enough for the light to stop hurting, but eventually you’re able to stand. You can’t remember the latter half of last night, your last memory being Sanji slamming his head into the counter while Robin and Zoro held you back from running to him. Zoro had supplied you with another drink then, and Robin had asked you more probing questions, but you could not for the life of you remember any other specifics. You make your way to Chopper’s infirmary so lost in thought you didn’t notice the mischievous looks in the eyes of your crewmates, the way their gazes subtly followed you as you walked.

“Chopper?” Your voice is still a little hoarse from having cried your heart out last night. You slip through the door, expecting to find your dear doctor ready to fuss over you and scold you for overdoing it last night. Instead you find Sanji face first in a bed, a small bandage wrapped around his head. Before you can ask if he’s alright, or if he knows where Chopper is, you hear it.

Click.

Your eyes widen. Your hand reaches for the doorknob, ready to turn it, and you find it doesn’t budge.

“What the fuck?”

Sanji groans again, slowly and carefully sitting up, before looking over at you. “What are you doing here, darling?” He looks at your hand, up at your expression, then back down to the doorknob. “Why…why is the doorknob backwards?”

Instead of the lock being where it should be, you find the keyhole on the inside of the door. There’s slight scratches around the nails holding it and place, and you realize someone has turned it around. There’s a quiet murmur of voices on the other side of the door, which turns to a yelp when you punch the wood. “What the hell is this?”

“We’re helping!” Nami’s voice rings out confidently from the other side, and you hear a few noises of agreement.

“With what, exactly?” You have a horrible sinking feeling you know exactly what they’re going to say, but you try to push it out of your mind, channeling the relentless optimism of your captain.

“We’re tired of you two being idiots!” Zoro’s voice is annoyed and unfriendly, but after a moment it slightly softens. “Just…talk to each other. Like people. For once in your lives.”

You don’t know why, but something about that makes Sanji’s brow twitch in annoyance. “Let us out, mosshead! I knew you were awful but I can’t believe you’d trap a lady!”

“It wasn’t my goddamn idea! Blame Nami!”

Sanji pauses in his yelling at that, but shockingly enough, he still seems upset instead of instantly kowtowing. He frowns, forehead wrinkling, but doesn’t say anything else.

“We aren’t letting you out until you’ve talked. We’re gonna go so you have privacy, but if you break out we’re putting you right back in, so don’t even think about just kicking down the door!” Nami’s voice is firm and commanding, and you find your shoulders slumping, knowing there’s no real point in fighting her. You’re both hungover, exhausted, and not in any state to continue the conflict. You sigh, making your way to a cot next to Sanji’s. You throw yourself down, the slight bounce you make on landing making you far more nauseous than it had any right to.

“Do you know what they want us to talk about?” Sanji sounds almost nervous, which surprises you. Does he know?

“I…have an idea. Do you?”

“I might.”

You both shift awkwardly in the silence that follows. You fidget with your hands, curling in tighter, anxiety eating at you. This is it. This is the rejection you’ve been waiting for. The final blow to shatter your fragile hopes, to crush your remaining optimism and the wonderful future you’ve allowed yourself to keep dreaming of.

“What do you see in him?” Sanji’s voice is quiet and seeping with vulnerability. His eyes are closed, as though he’s scared to even look at you and get your answer.

“What do I see in who?”

“In that stupid swordsman. Why do you care about him?”

“What?” You blink owlishly.

He finally looks up at you. He blinks back. “What do you mean, what?”

“Why are you talking to me like I’m dating Zoro?”

“Are you…not? Trying to do that?”

“No! God no! I’m–” You barely hold yourself back from saying trying to date you. “I’m not into Zoro like that. Did you think I was?”

“I–um. No?” His dour look turns sheepish, a small bit of red painting his cheeks. Adorable.

“God, Sanji. Zoro is not my type.” You both sit for a moment, before you realize something. “Were you upset because you thought I was into him?”

“He isn’t good enough for you.” He says it so matter-of-fact, like it’s an obvious truth. “No one is, but especially not him. You deserve the best, and nothing less.”

Your heart flutters a little, that little thing with feathers worming its way back into you, but you suddenly see Nami’s face in your mind and you crush it. To dream and watch it die is far worse than never dreaming at all. “That’s sweet, Sanji. But you shouldn’t say things like that. You might give someone the wrong idea.”

His head cocks to the side. “What do you mean, wrong idea? You do deserve the best. No one in the world deserves it more than you.”

“What about Nami?”

“What about Nami?”

“Does she not deserve the best? More than I do? More than anyone? Your sweet Nami-swan?” You fail to keep the bitterness out of your tone in that. Not bitterness towards her, of course, or even towards Sanji, really, just a sour taste in your mouth you can’t quite shake.

His brow furrows, lips downturned. “Well she deserves the best too, of course, but why would she deserve it more? Why wouldn’t you deserve everything you want?”

You let out a frustrated growl. “That’s what I want to know! Why not me?” You slam your hand over your mouth. God, he knows, and now he’s going to reject you, so sweetly and kindly, like he does everything, and it’s going to shatter you into a million pieces. You squeeze your eyes shut like blocking out the sight of him will undo what you’ve just done.

You don’t hear him reject you. You don’t even hear him move. You only feel warm hands on your cheeks, and you open your eyes to see Sanji right in front of you, nose to nose, and you can see reflected in his eyes something you might dare to call hope.

“Do you want it to be you?” You hear a longing in his words, see it in his eyes. You have never known Sanji as a man to want, to desire more than what he’s freely given, but in this moment it truly almost seems like he wants you.

You slowly take your hand off of your mouth. Your voice is meek, mouselike, but you force it out anyway. “Would that be okay? If I did?”

“Oh angel, it would be more than okay.” He slides impossibly closer, thighs on either side of yours, torsos pressed together, surrounding you wholly. “It is you. It has always been you. It will always be you. Is that okay?”

You want to answer him in words, something articulate that would move his heart, but instead you let out a soft squeak of surprise before grabbing his cheeks and pulling his lips to yours. They’re chapped, the dehydration from the hangover still plaguing him. He has morning breath. His movements are uncoordinated, unsteady. His goatee scratches your chin. When he opens his mouth, welcoming you further, he tastes like cigarettes and a hint of shitty beer. 

It’s the best kiss you’ve ever had.

You end up on your back, Sanji’s weight holding you down, comforting and all-consuming. His hands rest on your hips as yours tangle in his hair. You only pull back when the demand for air is too much, and even then you consider ignoring the scream of your lungs. You both pull back, chests heaving, and Sanji buries his face in your neck.

“I never thought I’d actually get to do this.” He buries his nose further into your neck, his arms sliding underneath you to pull you into a tight embrace.

“Neither did I. I kept telling myself to stop dreaming about things I couldn’t have.”

“You’ve had me from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“You’ve had me for just as long.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

You take a strained breath. “I was…I don’t deserve you. And I thought you knew that. And that you were in love with Nami. That didn’t help.”

He pulls back to look you in the eyes, his gaze boring into you. “You thought you didn’t deserve me?” He sounds absolutely baffled at the idea.

“You’re kind, talented, strong, handsome…you’re everything, Sanji. You deserve everything you want. And I didn’t think you wanted me.”

He blinks at you for a moment, before a small chuckle forces its way out of him. “That’s…that’s so ridiculous I genuinely don’t even know where to start.”

He kisses your forehead. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’m ever going to want.”

He kisses your cheeks. “I have wanted you from the moment we met, and I will want you until the day I die.”

He kisses the tip of your nose. “I have never met anyone more deserving of the world than you. And I’m not going to let anyone say otherwise. Even you. So there.”

You lean up to kiss his forehead in turn. “Well there’s nothing in this world I want more than you. Can I really have you?”

He takes one of your hands and places it over his rapidly beating heart. “You feel that? It’s all yours.” He lifts your other hand and kisses it in a deeply princely gesture that fits him perfectly.

Before you can reciprocate, the door slams open, and you hear Zoro’s disgruntled voice call out. “They’re making out! Can we be done with this now?”

Sanji whips around with even more vitriol than he usually reserves for the swordsman. “Piss off, mosshead. Can’t you see we’re busy?” The quick movement makes him sway slightly, and you’re forced to remember how horribly you’re both doing physically. If he picks a fight with Zoro right now he might end up puking all over his shoes.

“Ignore him, Sanji. We need to get some rest anyway.” You pull his face into your chest, which he gladly collapses fully into. When you run your fingers through his hair, he’s practically purring.

“Anything you say, my love.” His content smile grows wider when he hears your heart quicken at the words. Neither of you say anything else as your friends crowd the room, with their finallys and about times. Nothing in the world matters more than this right now: the feeling of each other’s warmth, the softness of each other’s skin, and the feeling of relief in both of your chests that your hopes were finally allowed to thrive.

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

[neontokyoo]

(nsfw or not) Halsin (elf form) in heat from bear mating season and dry humps or ferally takes tav? (consented obviously)

Pairing: Halsin x Fem!Tav

Genre: smut

Summary: Halsin’s animalistic behavior is too much to bear

Warnings: I’m unable to write rough sex while keeping Halsin in character, rough animalistic sex, this wasn’t proofread because I’m tired and more focused on getting this posted before I forget about it and never do it.

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It was that time of year. Halsin couldn’t stand being around anyone right now. All the different smells in the air were making him fucking crazy. Despite not being an actual bear, the Druid found his bear from becoming a part of him over the past few years. The more time he spends in his bear form, the less control he has over the bear in certain situations. And this was one of those situations.

Running the grove was incredibly hard today. Usually mating season wasn’t a huge pain in his ass. Sure, he was always horny and more sensitive than normal, but usually he was able to handle it on his own. This year, however, was different. Maybe it was because of the new adventurer who had been staying at the grove for a while, while they planned their next move. That sounded about right. Ever since Tav showed up, he’s found it much harder to control the beast within him. He hasn’t been this turned on in over a century.

Halsin let out a frustrated groan as he felt his arousal getting stronger. His cock was rock-hard by now and his pants were painfully tight. How the fuck was he supposed to be in charge here if everyone was looking at him like he just crawled out of hell? Obviously, the tension was visible. In several ways. The way he walked like he had a stick up his ass, the way he was grabbing onto everything when he had to sit down, his grip so tight that his knuckles were changing to a ghostly white color. Everyone could tell something was wrong with him, but nobody said a thing.

It got to the point where his only options were to either talk to Tav about his current situation, or retire to his room for the night and fix it himself. And he found the first option to be too embarrassing. So, the elf went back to his room and began to undo his pants. Gods, just undoing the zipper felt much more comfortable than his cock straining against his pants.

But of course right when he was about to take care of his problem, there was a knock on the door. Halsin groaned out of frustration as he quickly put his pants back on and straightened himself up before opening the door. His body tensed as he saw her waiting on the other side. He wasn’t sure if he could hold back much longer now that she was so close to him.

Tav gave him a concerned look, opening her mouth to speak before he harshly grabbed the girl by her wrist and pinned her to the wall of his room, finally burying his nose in the crook of their neck.

“Fuck,” he whispered, his voice even trembling. “I’m sorry, my love… I don’t know what’s happening right now.”

“Halsin, what’s going on?” Tav arched her back, a soft moan escaping her lips. She couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. She wanted to pull away, but her body craved the connection, the intimacy.

Halsin's breathing grew heavier, and he pulled his face from her neck, his eyes flashing green with hunger. "I need you, Tav," he whispered hoarsely, his voice no longer the calm and sweet one she had grown accustomed to. "Please let me have you. I’m sorry, I’m not myself right now.”

Tav hesitated for a moment, her eyes locked with his, before nodding. She bit her lip, the anticipation making her body tremble. Halsin wasted no time as he quickly undid her armor, his fingertips brushing against her dampness. Tav shivered as another small moan escaped her lips. She knew exactly what was happening, and maybe Halsin wasn’t the only one acting like a bitch in heat. Her own arousal betrayed her.

"So wet for me," Halsin breathed, his voice thick with lust. He pulled his hand away, continuing to undress her until she was completely exposed before him, then swiftly unbuckled his trousers, freeing his throbbing cock. Tav's eyes widened at the sight, her arousal intensifying.

Of course, she and Halsin have been flirting back and forth with each other for a while now, occasionally teasing each other and stealing glances. But she never would have thought she’d be able to have him. Nor did she think it would happen like this.

Halsin hoisted Tav onto the table, spreading her legs wide enough to expose her glistening heat. He positioned himself between them, his cock nudging against her entrance. Tav's hands clenched sage green tablecloth, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. “Halsin…. Please….”

Halsin's eyes flashed with a primal hunger as he took in the sight of Tav's naked body spread out before him on the table. The scent of her arousal filled the air, driving him wild with desire. He couldn't hold back any longer. With a low growl, he thrust his hips forward, burying himself deep inside her tight, wet heat.

"Fuck, Tav," he grunted, his voice strained with pleasure. "You feel so good. So fucking perfect."

Tav cried out, her back arching off the table as she was filled completely by Halsin's thick, hard cock. It stretched her walls deliciously, sending sparks of pleasure racing through her body. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.

The new position made the girl let out a loud, pornographic moan as the elf continued to pound into her, hitting her most sensitive areas while also grinding against her clit.

“Halsin…. Fuck-“

Halsin's hands gripped Tav's hips tightly, his body moving in a primal rhythm as he continued to fuck her. His thrusts grew harder and faster, his muscles straining with each powerful movement. Tav's moans grew louder and more desperate, her nails digging into his back.

Tav's words cut off as the elf's lips crashed onto hers, his tongue invading her mouth in a passionate kiss. Halsin's cock throbbed within her, his animalistic hunger for her not abating. He continued to pound into her, their bodies slapping together in a wet, rhythmic symphony.

Usually, Halsin wouldn’t be so rough if it wasn’t for his animalistic desires that were taking over him. There was just something about Tav that made her absolutely intoxicating, making it incredibly hard for Halsin to control himself.

Tav's mind was spinning, the intensity of the moment overwhelming her. She could feel her orgasm building with each thrust, the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter within her until it was nearly unbearable. She could feel Halsin's own climax approaching as well, his thrusts becoming more frantic, his grunts more desperate.

With a final, powerful thrust, Halsin's body tensed, his cock pulsing deep within her. Wave after wave of his seed filled Tav, the sensation pushing her over the edge. Her own orgasm crashed through her, her inner walls gripping Halsin tightly as she cried out his name.

Halsin's body shuddered as he continued to fill her, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Slowly, he pulled out of her, his cock leaving a trail of cum as it slipped from her slick walls. Tav lay there, panting, her body trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Halsin leaned down to kiss her forehead, his breathing finally starting to even out. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, his voice soft and gentle once more. "But I needed that."

Tav looked up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "Don't be sorry, Halsin," she whispered, her voice thick with contentment. "I needed it too."

The two of them stayed there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of their passionate encounter. Halsin helped Tav down from the table, wrapping a blanket around her shivering form. They shared a tender kiss, the tension between them dissipating.

[teddypickrwritings]

A Rare Moment of Weakness - Identity V x Reader

A/N: Some character lore is just so sad and depressing that I start tearing up…I just want to hug them. I’ll most likely do this with more characters in the future!

cw: PTSD

Mercenary

It was obvious just by looking at him that Naib Subedar was hardened by war. That was just the norm for anyone who served in the military. Naib was not one to talk about his experiences, though. Nobody questioned him, they just let him do what he wanted.

One day, while you were in a match with him, you saw his stoic mask crumble. You had managed to escape from the hunter with minor injuries and were hoping that you would cross paths with someone that could heal you. You had stumbled onto Naib’s cipher just as he missed a calibration and it shocked him—literally. The look of terror that flashed on his face gutted you pretty badly. It didn’t take a genius to realize that the sudden loud noise reminded him of bombs and such.

He wasn’t embarrassed that you saw him mess up. He didn’t shrug you off when you instinctively gave him a hug. In fact…he really appreciated it. A lot. Naib held you for a little longer than necessary, only letting go when he realized you were injured and immediately started to heal you.

“I’ll decode with you…or I can do it for you, if you’d like,” you offered once he was done.

Naib nodded slowly, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Thank you, (Y/N),” he mumbled.

Wu Chang

A sudden rainstorm had interrupted your walk and completely soaked you to the bone. Had you stayed outside longer, and if Xie had not come to your rescue, you would have certainly gotten sick. He had immediately left to find you the second the rain had turned heavy. You had begun to protest when he scooped you up in his arms, but quickly silenced yourself when you noticed just how worried he looked.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry. We shouldn’t have left you alone out there,” Xie said once you had changed into dry clothes. He had managed to calm down for the most part, but his voice was still laced with anxiety. “We didn’t know it would rain. I’ll never forgive myself if you get sick…”

“I’m okay!” you reassured with a tired smile. You reached over and gently squeezed his hand. “Thank you for getting me out of there before it got too bad.”

Xie gave a weak smile of his own, but his eyes still looked pained. He paused, seemingly listening to something. Then he nodded and his form changed to represent Fan. The Black Guard checked your vitals, and after confirming that they were normal, held your hands tightly. “He wanted to be able to save a loved one this time,” he explained. And that was all you needed to hear for you to understand.

Hermit

“Alva, do you ever feel frustrated?” you asked tentatively, watching the inventor writing notes in one of his many journals. His quill came to a slow stop as he pondered your question.

“It is natural for one to feel frustration,” Alva said vaguely. He turned in his chair to look at you with an unreadable expression. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just curious…you always seem so composed. I admire it,” you admitted.

Alva allowed a small smile on his face. “Nobody is ever what they seem, (Y/N). Keep that in mind,” he said, beckoning you over with a little wave of his hand. You stood up and went to him, surprised when he enveloped you in a hug. “I am sorry that I do not show emotions very often. I am…still getting used to the feeling by having someone I can trust.”

You could’ve sworn you felt him tremble a bit when he said that. But the moment was over too soon and he released you. “You have a match, yes? You shouldn’t be late,” he said and gave you a little push towards the door. You left with a smile on your face; Alva trusted you. That was all you could think about.

[xo-kyeong]

Laughter and mild snickering are all you hear from behind the door.

God, this is embarrassing

“COME ON Y/N!” Mina shouts from the living room of your shared dorm, all 5 of them waiting for you to test if your shared dorm had soundproof walls.

“WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SEX NOISES?” You ask in humiliation. Fuck they’re gonna have a field day with this. “Y/n! My arms are getting tired from holding the phone! Get on with it already!” Denki whines.

“WHY DON’T YOU GUYS DO IT, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME?” You cry out as you bang your head dramatically onto the door. Am I really doing this?

“Should I like- moan like how a normal person would moan?” You ask sheepishly. Sero and Bakugou are behind Denki trying their hardest to contain their laughter.

Kirishima, Denki, and Mina on the other hand are ruthless. Absolutely dying of laughter.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!!” You cry out in protest, but they’re all insisting you do it.

“Y/n, how are we supposed to know if one of us can invite someone over?” Sero insists.

Then again, you’ve been dying to get yourself off for a while now because of your hectic schedule. Maybe knowing if your roomies can hear you pleasuring yourself is useful information after all.

“Okay okay- OH MY GOD I CAN’T” you laugh a bit out of embarrassment and they all laugh with you because this is pretty stupid.

“Sero will go in and test with you! That way you won’t be the only one feeling embarrassed!” Mina suggests, and that idea actually made the situation even worse.

There’s nothing more humiliating than to hear your friend’s moans and him hearing yours!

“WHAT? I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS-“ Sero protests, eyebrows raised and arms up as if he was adamant. But then after a few minutes of teasing from Mina and Denki, he finally caved in and joined you in the room.

“You really don’t have to do this you know?” You tell Sero, I mean, he’s probably uncomfortable-

“I don’t mind, besides, I’ve always liked your voice in bed” you’re full-blown red and flustered.

“We’re roommates Sero! You can’t be saying shit like that” you turn away, hiding your reddened face from his devilishly handsome (and irritating) face.

“Who says we can’t? Why don’t I start first, hmm?” He gives Denki the go signal and starts clapping.

“Sero- omg” you were hysterical, this is just downright stupid.

“Go on, just say ‘oh’ or whatever, better yet, say my name instead” he gives you a wink and you roll your eyes at him, fighting the urge to actually tackle this man and literally make this “fake” scenario into a reality.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this-“ you take a breath and started whimpering as Sero was clapping his hands at a steady pace.

“You’re so tight y/n- fuck” Sero shamelessly moaned, causing everyone outside the room to cackle.

“You’re brave” you whispered.

“But I should be the one making sounds here” you teased. And that riled him up, the way you went from utterly humiliated to bold and daring just did something to him. You effortlessly matched his energy just like that.

“Mhm, oh my god Sero- Oh keep going” you closed your eyes dramatically, trying to make this scenario as realistic as possible.

Sero quickened the pace of his clapping, groaning with you.

“Oh my god Sero, I’m gonna-“ you whimper and moan as you would if you were actually having sex. And Sero isn’t going to lie, he didn’t know if he should be worried because you moan so well that when he DOES have sex with you he might think you’re just faking it for his ego.

Both of you calmed down and stepped out of the room, looking at Mina for their final verdict.

“Well, it’s slightly soundproof- we all just have to make sure that none of you boys go too rough on whoever you bring home. Got it?” Mina says while holding the phone and placing it in front of you and Sero.

You and Sero re-watched the clip, hearing most of Sero’s clapping. Your own moans weren’t that noticeable, other than your “oh’s” and Sero’s groans.

“Well- y/n you sure do know how to act like you’re getting railed- have you ever faked an orgasm before?” Mina curiously asks, and you couldn’t say anything other than a whispered “kind of”

“GIRL- WE WON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE BEING WELL TAKEN CARE OF! WE WOULD BARELY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE” Mina screams, making you turn your head away from her booming voice.

All four boys were equally shocked at your revelation, you’ve faked an orgasm before? their eyes were wide, and jaws dropped.

You sheepishly brush them off though, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. but to Sero, it clearly is. The others let you off, except for him of course. The rest of them finally went into their own rooms, bidding everyone goodnight, you were about to go to your own room after you refill your water bottle, that is until a pair of hands wrapped around your waist. You knew who it was going to be, his long and slender arms are easily distinguishable. “Sero?” you hum, “why aren’t you going to bed yet, huh?” you close the lid of your water bottle so that you could turn around and face him. “you’ve never faked with me... right?” he looks down at you with pleading eyes, he looks just like a begging puppy.  “oh, Sero. my poor baby, couldn’t get your mind off of that?” you chuckle at him when he holds you closer. “I’m serious y/n! do you actually feel good?” he whines, and that has you laughing lightly at how needy and desperate he sounds. “Sero, I’ve never faked an orgasm with you. in-fact, you’re the one and only guy who ever treated me right” you smile, wrapping your own arms around him to comfort him. Sighing when you savored his warmth and comfort. The fact that none of your other roommates know about your relationship is thrilling, yet sometimes it still manages to boil down to calm and quiet moments like this. “I love you, Sero” you look up at him, your eyes droopy due to the sudden sleepiness.  He reaches down to kiss you on the forehead, “I love you so much, Mi Amor” he rubs your cheek with his thumb before leaning in to kiss you on the lips. It’s nice to have a secret relationship, calm and quaint.  But you’d be surprised to hear that 3 other people are listening in on your conversation, fully containing their excitement at how sweet you and Sero are to each other.

[recklesssturniolo]

please write something for sub chris with mommy kink and degradation, maybe a handjob and he just goes dumb

Friends - C.S

Y’all wanted sub!chris so badly so I’m providing using this request 🫶🏻 also I did this from Chris’ POV & they’re “friends”, mommy kink too (if you guys don’t like this I stg)

NSFW below, leave if you’re a minor

I had messaged Y/N to come over, we’d been friends for a while now and out of my brothers and I, she was closest with me. I hear the door handle twist and her walk inside. I smile to myself and get up to greet her.

“Hey you” I say, pulling her in for a hug.

“Hi Chris” She smiles back.

“I need a snack right now or I’ll die” I dramatically tell her.

“To the kitchen we go then!” She laughs.

Once we’re in the kitchen we both begin raiding the cupboards, I look over and see that she’s bent over searching through a cupboard. All I can focus on is how good her ass looks, and her red panties that rose slightly above her leggings. Fuck what am I thinking? She’s my best friend. I try to focus my attention back on our hunt for food, but my mind is just consumed with the picture of me fucking her.

“Chris? Helloooo?” She says.

“Shit sorry yeah? I zoned out” I say, I didn’t even realize I was fully zoned out thinking about fucking my best friend. I need to get it together.

“I asked if these are good for snacks” She replies.

“Oh, yeah that’s good. Let’s go to the living room and find a movie” I smile back, becoming aware of the fact I was fully hard and desperately needed either a blanket or pillow to cover it.

Getting to the living room I sit down on the couch, my hands immediately on top of my dick. But of course she’s bent over grabbing a blanket from the bin. Giving me the exact same view I had a few minutes ago. My mind once again picturing me fucking her from behind and hearing her moan out my name. God what is going on with me? I watch as she walks over to the couch and sits down beside me, grabbing the remote on her way over.

“Jesus Chris why are you so tense right now?” She asks.

“What? I’m not, was just waiting for you to sit down” I replied, trying desperately to stop my thoughts.

“Okay then” She replies.

As she scrolls through Netflix, I can’t help but look at her lips and just think of how good her mouth would feel around my dick.

“Oh my god Chris! What’s going on with you? I’ve said your name 3 times now” She questions.

“I - sorry I’m just tired” I mumble back, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Tired or horny?” She asks, as if it’s the most normal question, not even looking away from the tv.

“What are you even talking about? Why would I be horny?” I retaliate, now nervous as she was clearly on to me.

“Oh come on you don’t think I could feel you staring at my ass? Or I don’t know the hard on you had in the kitchen which I know you still have?” She smirks back.

“Listen I’m sorry I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I don’t -“ I begin trying to explain myself.

“Do you want me to touch you?” She cuts me off.

“W-what?” I stutter out.

“What? You don’t want me to make you feel good pretty boy?” She questions.

At a complete loss for words, all I managed to get out was, “Please”

She moves the blanket off of us, leaning in to kiss me while palming me through my pants. The kiss was rough, our tongues fighting for dominance. As we continue to make out, she unzips and pulls down my pants and boxers.

She pulls away from the kiss, and spits on my dick. The sight alone would’ve been enough for me to come.

“Fuck mommy please touch me” I whimper out.

“Mommy huh? I like it. Be a good boy for me okay?” She smirks.

“Yes yes” I mumble back, thrusting my hips up.

She takes her hand and swipes her thumb across my tip and my slit. Causing moans to effortlessly fall from my mouth.

“Look at you, moaning already. So pathetic” She says.

“I just - fuck” I say.

She begins moving her hand up and down my dick, but at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Faster mommy, please” I whine out.

“You’re such a needy whore you know that? Already begging” She says back before spitting on my dick again for more lube.

“Yes mhm needy for you mommy” I groan out, noticing her pace picking up.

“You aren’t coming until I say you can, understood?” She demands.

I nod in response.

“Use your words slut” She says.

“Yes I understand yes” I reply back.

She continues stroking my dick. Her pace getting faster now and the urge to come only becoming stronger.

“Feels so good, I want to come soon mommy” I groan out.

“Such a fucking whore, already wanting to come and it hasn’t even been that long” She says back, making direct eye contact with me.

Fuck her degrading me was only adding to how badly I wanted to come. I couldn’t get enough of it.

“I can’t help it - you’re making me feel so good” I tell her.

She shakes her head but continues on. I feel my dick twitch and know I’m about to come.

“I - I’m about to come” I mumble out.

“Did you not hear me? You’re not coming until I say so”She says back sternly.

I throw my head back and squeeze my eyes shut, letting a whimper fall from my lips. Using everything in me to hold myself back from coming. My eyes snap open as I feel her lips on my dick, and her start bobbing her head without warning. Fucking hell she was good at it.

“Mommy I - holy fuck please keep going please” I beg.

Licking around my tips she still manages to say, “Fucking whore, you’re going to come in my mouth alright?”

“Yes mommy” I whine back, my legs now trembling from holding myself back. Her letting me finish in her mouth - god my dick in her mouth to begin with was driving me absolutely fucking crazy.

“Come on, I know you want to come. Let go for mommy” She mumbles out.

That was all I needed, my legs only shaking more now that I was climaxing, my hand moving to the back of her head and pulling on her hair. Coming in her mouth as she swallowed it all and continued sucking even after I was finished.

“Oh my god holy fuck” Was all I could muster out. Still in a state of absolute bliss from the amount of pleasure I was in.

Pulling away from my dick, she looks up and me. I suddenly become aware of the fact that I just came in my best friends mouth. What if this ruins our friendship? She interrupts my thoughts.

“Who would’ve thought you’d be such a needy boy hm?” She says smiling.

“Listen I couldn’t help it. God that was incredible” I respond.

“And a mommy kink? Definitely wasn’t expecting that from you either. I liked it, but it took me by surprise” She continues.

“Ugh yeah yeah I get it. But seriously this isn’t going to make anything between us awkward right?” I ask.

“Awkward? Not a chance. I would’ve done that months ago, but now we’ll have lots more to do. Gotta see how good you are” She smirks.

“Really? God I should’ve asked a long time ago then, and don’t worry I’ll prove to you just how good I am. You think I was needy? Wait till you see how needy you’re gonna be for me” I reply back, winking at her. Already picturing myself pounding into her with her begging for more.

TAGLIST: @sturnphilia @thatonekid536 @cupidisworld @devsturniolo @loveesiren @daddyslilchickenfingers @christinarowie332 @ilovemattsturn

[razorblade180]

9 days of Lancaster Day 9: Firsts

Ruby:(Don’t over complicate this. Don’t do it. Just relax… relax…)

Jaune:Uh Rubes?

Ruby:Y-Yes!?

Jaune:Are you gonna hit retry or…

She turns her head and notices they’re on they’re on the ranking screen. When did the match end!? Ruby finally hits continue. Jaune can’t help but chuckle a little as he leans back against Blake’s bed.

Ruby:What’s so funny?

Jaune:You seem a little lost in thought. Thinking of a way of outplaying me?

Ruby:I introduced you to this game. I know your skills.

Jaune:And yet I out rank you.

Ruby:Because you’re such a try hard! I’ve been busy on missions.

Jaune:Yeah that’s fair. It’s nice that you finally have time off. I would’ve thought your team would be knocked out for days. I was little shocked when you said you planned an all day video game date.

Ruby:I begged a little. Also called in a few favors. Weiss just needed a nice place to sleep, Blake is flexible and I became a pouty little sister for Yang.

Jaune:Qualities of a true leader.

Ruby:Shut up! I’m just happy you didn’t procrastinate on any assignments.

Jaune:Pyrrha said she’d add Nora to my training if I did.

Ruby:Yeah that would get me moving too. Soooo you’re really free ?

Jaune:Yep, I’m all yours for the day. Any game you need a partner in, I’ll help you see credits.

Ruby:…And if we get tired of games?

Jaune:We got movies. There’s a couple good ones that came while you were away. Or ones you’ll force me to watch.

Ruby:Stop acting like you don’t like horror.

Jaune:It really isn’t an act. But you planned all this and who am I to not appreciate that.

Ruby:So you’re down for anything?

Jaune:Yep!

Ruby:*red* Even…oh I don’t know, sleeping together?

Jaune’s hands stopped pressing buttons and Ruby managed to send him to the loser screen. It wasn’t intentional but a small boost of confidence as she turned her head right to see him looking at her with a flushed red face.

Ruby:Don’t make it weird!

Jaune:Me!? What!? You just- context please! Was that a ploy to win!?

Ruby:I’m not that petty! Look I just…. *plays with hair* thought maybe we should discuss that idea. We’ve been together for almost five months and it’s been really great! It’s felt a little weird though that you never seemed to make a move or bring up “that”

Jaune: Do I really give off that sorta vibe? I had no idea.

Ruby:I’m not saying you do, but between how you used to try flirting with Weiss and our casual conversations, it didn’t feel like you weren’t into more intimate things. Ugh, I really don’t know what I’m saying at this point! I guess a part of me felt a little confused and worried if you weren’t interested in me in that way at all.

Jaune:Oh I have had thoughts, but i know how to keep them to myself.

Ruby:….

Jaune:*blushing* That’s normal and decent behavior! Why, are you interested?

Ruby:Of course! I organized a room date to give you the opportunity to-

Saying it aloud made it sound way more embarrassing and forward than Ruby meant for it to be. And pulled her hood over her head and huffed in defeat as she stared down at her lap.

Jaune:….Does your team know about this?

Ruby:Blake does. She said her bed is fair game. Those are actually my sheets right now. As far as Yang is concerned, I asked for privacy so we can have our first kiss.

Jaune:We’ve made out a bunch of times.

Ruby:I’m very sneaky when I want to be. Look, I get this is a lot I’m dropping on you and we don’t have to do anything today. I just…really wanted to know where I stand with you and to let you know that…I’m okay with going further with you. *crimson* I really like you. A lot.

Jaune:…This question may sound a little dumb all things considering, but I have to hear it. I get that you’re okay with it, but do you want to have sex with me? As in your are looking forward to it?

Ruby:…Very much, yeah.

Jaune:….Hold on just one moment.

He took her scroll and walked out of the room. Ruby wanted to scream until she passed out. Why did she start this conversation!? Was it too forward!? They were having such a good time before this moment. Why did he leave!?

So many thoughts bombarded her brain and they didn’t stop when she heard the door unlock again. Her scroll flew into her lap so she knew it was him. Seconds later, a box of condoms fell into her lap. Her brain took a moment to process what she was looking at, then her head immediately jerked up to see Jaune bright red and also avoiding her gaze.

Jaune: Nora may have helped me find female ones too, as well as emergency pills.

Ruby:Ah, I see. How proactive. Well…*twiddles fingers* Weiss may have helped me find and pay for some quality meds awhile go.

Jaune:Huh, imagine that.

Ruby:Yeeeep. Jaune, can you look at me?

Jaune:*makes eye contact*

Ruby:Soooo are we…still playing video games right now?

Jaune:…..

xxxxxx

Blake:*eating noodles*

Yang:You think the date is going well?

Weiss:Yes. *eating cake*

Yang:Really think she’ll go for a kiss?

Blake:Ruby can dive into a Nevermore’s mouth. She’ll find the willpower to kiss a boy.

Yang:….Maybe I should call t-

Weiss:Yang, as a younger sister myself, I appreciate my older sister. However, if she interrupted me on a date with a call or coming home early, I’m going to be mad for a very long time. Eat your burger and relax. Ruby will be fine.

Yang: I know, ugh! It’s like I’m antsy for her. Gods, if I’m like this now then I don’t know if I can handle her asking about sex.

Blake and Weiss:Don’t worry about that now.

[cutestbow]

Summary: y/n has to tell Jack the truth, (based off of the song futile devices)

Notes: I’m finally back!!, also very unedited so please excuse any mistakes!!

Warnings: self hatred, guilt, basically leading someone on. And that should be it if not let me know!!!

It’s been a long long time since I’ve memorized your face.

Laughter echoed throughout the dimly lit apartment i had been in for the last 4 hours, i had told myself id go home twenty minutes ago but that never ends well when im with my friends

“So y/n? hows jack going?” my friend asked, the question gaining attention from the others as if they had been wondering also.

“Oh it’s going well, he’s a really good guy.” I shrugged smiling at the thought of the brown haired boy.

“Thats it? You’re not going to give us any special details about him?” She groaned to my vague response.

“Yeah, like he doesn’t have a beauty mark on his left cheek-“ another one had chimed in

“No, his upper right lip!” I blurted out embarrassingly fast.

All chatter had stopped in that moment, the only noise being the tv that had been faintly playing in the background.

My face burned red from my sudden comment, if my friend no cited she hadn’t said anything about, she just smirked and took a drink from the glass that had been sitting in front of her.

“Well at least Christian’s out of the picture.” She stated once more before diving into conversation with one of the girls sat at the table.

I nodded but it didn’t feel right almost as if it weren’t genuine.

It’s been four hours now since I’ve wandered through your place.

Jack had left his apartment hours ago but i still remained after hours of him begging i stay and just watch the game from his house, so that’s where i had been left at now

Walking through the halls of his somewhat clean apartment, for someone who lives by themselves he really did try to keep some type of theme going.

I laughed at a photo he had kept near his bed of him and his brother when they were younger, it was a photo of when they lived in Canada the setting being somewhere snowy and the three brothers looking confused and unready for the photo.

I sat the photo back down and looked over at the clock that had also been on the side of his bed, i sighed walking out of the room and back to the couch to watch the puck drop.

And when i sleep on your couch i feel very safe, and when you bring the blankets, I cover up my face.

It was normal for me and jack to have our annual movie nights on friday, and work had kicked my butt the following week and I hadn’t planned on going this Friday but i knew jack had been looking forwards to it stating that he found a new movie that we might like so I couldn’t decline.

We had been laying on the couch, my head on his shoulder and eyes slowing opening and closing once and a while, i quickly snapped out of that stare once the arms that had once been wrapped around me were gone.

“Where are you going?” I asked as jack got up from his spot on the couch.

He didnt reply and disappeared into his bedroom, i had went to get up before he reappeared again, this time with a large comforter.

I sighed with embarrassment and guilt, “Jack im fine.” I said

“No you’re not, you’ve had a busy week. If you were tired, you could have stayed home.” He responded, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

He layed me back into the couch carefully wrapping the computer around my tired body.

The droopy state from before slowly coming back

I shouldn’t be doing this.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

I let out one last sigh before I closed my eyes.

And i would say i love you but saying it out loud is hard. So I won’t say it at all.

It had been a beautiful day, and usually on days like these Jack would tend to drag me out of my apartment to go on a picnic.

I carefully set a blanket down over the patch of grass we thought would be perfect spot to settle, I watched as he set the basket down and very carefully pulled each container of fruit and crackers out.

Jack had always been easy to talk too I never had to filter myself around him, but I didn’t deserve a person like him.

I watched him as layed propped up on one shoulder talking about anything and everything, slowly biting into my cherry. I paused for a moment before rubbing the bitten cherry against his cheek leaving a pink stain.

I laughed at his reaction going to wipe it away before quickly getting pulled down and the previous cherry being rubbed on my face now

I laughed attempting to push him away but it was no use he was stronger.

“Now we’re even.” He spoke, smiling down at me.

we stared at each other for moments, three words I died to say lingered at the tip of my tongue but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to him.

And I won’t stay very long,

Tears rolled down my face as I found myself in-front of a door I’ve been faced with for months now, my heart banging against my chest.

I waited for a moment before the door swung open to a half awake Jack, his eyebrows furrowed in worry at my distressed state.

“y/n, what’s wrong?” He asked softly pulling me into his apartment, I pulled away slowly.

“I’m sorry jack” I cried lowering my head

“You’re so good to me, but I just can’t seem to-“ I sobbed uncontrollably, unsure if he could even understand me.

“I know.” He responded softly. My head shot up realization and guilt washing over me.

He knew the entire time, but why?, the question repeating over and over in my head.

“I’m so sorry jack” I cried, the sobs becoming more violent as he pulled me into an embrace.

“It’s not your fault,” he shook his head

“I just can’t see how I’m supposed to love if I can’t love myself.” I spoke once my cries softened.

“I want to love you,” I said pulling away, watching as tears threatened to spill from his eyes

“But I just can’t” I finished, attempting to wipe the spilling tears away.

He nodded in agreement giving me an understanding smile

“It’s ok” he reassured me as if I wasn’t breaking his heart.

“I understand if you’re mad or annoyed with me I don’t know why I’m like this” I spoke lowly, the lump in my throat making my words shaky.

Jack embraced me once more, this time hushing me

“If you knew why did you stay, why did waste your time if you knew you’d get hurt in the end.” i questioned

He sighed, “because the thought of not having you at all hurt to much.”

But you are the life I needed all along.

I smiled as me and a group of my friends stumbled into a bar we had been dying to go to for the past month.

the smell of alcohol and burnt out cigarettes washing over me in a second.

I watched as a few of the members separated going there own ways, leaving me a one ther girl.

We had decided to settle at the little bar ordering two beers for night.

I grabbed the cup swiftly taking a sip before setting it back down onto the table. I skimmed over the bar watching as people danced and played pool.

My heart immediately skipped a beat once I was met with a familiar pair of blue eyes that had been staring at me from across the bar.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to Jack in a year. Or really since that one night in his apartment. I would say we ended on good terms.

My face burned red as he waved at me with a soft smile.

I waved back, nervously smiling. I watched as he began to mouth something.

“You look beautiful.” he mouthed slowly

“I feel beautiful.” I excitedly mouthed back.

He laughed at my response from across the bar.

“Good.” he nodded.

[wilbursprincess]

helping soothousebur with a wet dream

this came in my head while making random words what should be in the dictionary

- 🎙 anon

“Why Don’t I Give You A Hand While You Tell Me About It?

Soothousebur x Female Reader

Warnings: Handjob, mentions of choking, humiliation but not really? Soothousebur being so whiny and needy <3

Hi 🎙 anon! Nice to see some more requests from you, as much as I love your little brainrots in my inbox <3 As a rather inexperienced person, I had to actually look up what a wet dream was BUT thanks to some lovely fic writers on this app, I have now figured it out and am fully prepared to write all the Soothousebur smut you could want! :)

Sorry for throwing in some choking, but you can’t tell me Soothousebur isn’t into that ;)

Fic below cut!

I’m dozing, Wilbur’s arm slung around my waist as I’m curled into him as the little spoon. It’s still pitch-black out, and I don’t want to open my eyes to look at the clock. It’s the first night I’m staying over at his house, and we both collapsed into his bed after an evening of every single dirty little thing we could think of doing to the other.

I’m about to fall back asleep, body so heavy and tired I feel like I’m melting into the mattress, when I feel him stir and groan behind me, something hard poking into the back of my thigh.

Eh, morning wood happens, I think to myself, tugging the covers over my shoulders and closing my eyes again. It’s not like he’s in charge of it.

Another whimper jolts me out of my sleepy haze, Wilbur’s arms tugging me closer into him as he starts to rub himself against me. Is this normal? I wonder, shrugging it off as him just moving around in his sleep.

After a few minutes, he’s so hard he’s throbbing, hips jerking even as he sleeps. Ok, that’s not ‘moving around in his sleep’ anymore.

“Wilbur,” I whisper, turning around and shaking his shoulder until he blinks open his eyes. “What on earth were you doing?”

He just whines, snatching his arm from around my waist and pawing at himself over his boxers. “Wet dream.”

“Even after what we did before bed?” I ask, amazed.

Wilbur nods. “It was… about you.”

“About me, huh?” I ask, gently stopping his hand. “Why don’t I give you a hand while you tell me about it?”

He’s nodding before I even get the words out.

Wilbur’s absolutely dripping with pre-cum when I stick my hand in his boxers, desperately thrusting into my hand.

“You’re so hard,” I say in awe. “Must’ve been a good dream, hm?”

He nods. “You were… riding me.”

“I was riding you?” I echo, twisting my thumb over the tip on my way back down. “What else was I doing, baby?”

Whining, he presses his face into my shoulder. “Pulling my hair… hand around my throat.”

“You like being choked, sweetie?” I murmur, hesitantly placing my hand on his bare chest.

Nodding, he glances down at the hand just below his throat. “A… little, yea.”

Gently, I press my hand into his throat, barely applying any pressure. “Like this?”

His eyes roll back in his head and he lets out a low moan. “Just like that.”

“What else was I doing to you in the dream, Wilbur?” I ask, smiling as he’s falling apart from my strokes. “Talk to me, baby.”

Wilbur moans, a sweet noise that makes me speed up my hand. “Bouncing… on me. Calling me a… good boy.”

“Aww, good boy,” I tease, shocked when he cries out and spills all over my hand the second the words leave my mouth. He rides it out for an impressively long time, face burning from how premature he was.

“…sorry,” he murmurs sheepishly once he gets his voice back. “Just… that was really hot.”

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Do you even have anything left in you after that? Jesus, Wilbur.”

Wilbur gives me an embarrassed smile in the dim room. “I think I have a praise kink.”

“I’m not surprised,” I chuckle. “How about we get cleaned up and go back to sleep? I’m happy to try out some of your dream with you in the morning-“

He groans. “Oh, please do. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping now that I know I’ve got that to look forward too.”

[luckykiwiii101]

Okay this is outrageously easy. The way I overcomplicated everything is ummm embarrassing but we move…

So I just really thought and took in that I don't have to put anything on a pedestal and tire myself out I should just stick to that “idc” mindset I have. I was manifesting waking up in the void since I wanted to experience it (and probably manifest my dream life through it) and I was like it's literally nothing, not that deep. Before I would affirm and vaunt many times, visualise and I’d experience that feeling of fulfilment and knowing multiple times until it felt natural. Then yesterday I basically just left it all alone since I already did everything (even when I didn't have to) so it's basically inevitable for me to get what i want, there’s no point in doing anything more now (also methods made me feel like i was struggling to “get” and i didn’t like that). Anyway last night I woke up in the void (by literally falling asleep normally) and I didn't even freak out or anything I was just like "hm okay". I affirmed that I manifest things I want extremely fast and I wake up in the void every night, after I just chilled there for a bit.

I came across this post on how to make your desires feel natural to you i forgot who it was and I honestly can’t be asked finding it but it said to think of it this way. Let’s say many people want a certain feature you have like your eye colour or hair type/texture and they really want it, they even get hella excited or happy thinking about having it. But when you actually take the time to think about that feature you don't even give much of a reaction like you don't care as much that's cus you already have it, it's always been yours. I know I'm repeating what everyone has said and that's because that's literally all there is to say honestly. So being on tumblr scavenging for answers isn't doing anything really. everyone will just repeat the same thing but phrased differently to help people understand better and some people will get mad about them repeating themselves like….. yeah..? that's basically the answer to all your questions.

You think you’re “waiting” to “get” your desires but like it’s the other way round, your desires are waiting for you to wake up and accept that they’re already yours

So it's all just crickets and tumbleweed, if you're just sitting there questioning why you, apparently, don't have your desires. Imagine your desires are just awkwardly watching you ignoring the fact that you already have them and they’re right there in front of you. They’re probably just looking to the left and right, scratching their head. it's especially awkward when you're looking at the 3D for answers when it's literally useless and doesn't do shit, it only reflects old circumstances. That can only change when you turn to yourself or the 4D for answers, and of course any method will help but then again it all comes down to you to decide if it works. If you "want" your desires don’t dismiss what it is that "gets" you them...idk how to phrase it but just start applying and persist it's honestly too easy.

Anyway enough from me, I'm finally deleting this app right after this. This was long sorry if it doesn't make sense but this is how I understood it. To summarise you're all that's left to"getting" your desires. Think of it as having a breakdown over not being able to find your glasses or hair tie but turns out you're wearing it the entire time.

Thank you Wii and all the other bloggers who take the time out of their day to help others with all of this. Take care of yourselves!!

THIS IS AMAZING!!! I’m SO proud of you!! SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY APPLIED WHAT THEY KNEW AND NOW LOOK AT THEM!! you deserve this so much honestly i’m beyond happy for you!

Also i REALLY love the way you put yourself on the pedestal by saying that your desires are waiting for YOU and not the other way round.

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Them finding you asleep in public

characters: Fu Xuan / Herta / Himeko / Kafka / March 7th / Natasha / Pela / Qingque / Serval / Tingyun x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none

a/n: The urge to write a lot more than 1 or 2 paragraphs for some characters was really strong, but I managed it because I am a man of dedication, focus and sheer will… 

that and because I knew this would take far too long if I didn���t contain myself.

Also, there are some characters I still don’t know too much about, so if I got something wrong about their personalities, then I’m sorry

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Fu Xuan

Did you have no idea how stupid you looked while sleeping like this in public? If anyone else found you like this, they’d take you for a lazy bum with no shame, but luckily for you, Fu Xuan knew you well enough to know that at least the first part would be a misconception. Nevertheless you looked stupid. Stupid and a little bit cute. So stupid and a little bit cute in fact that she couldn’t stop herself from pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of you, only for the flash she forgot to turn off to wake you up, causing you to slowly look up at her while rubbing your eyes, in turn causing the Master Diviners face to heat up.

“D-Don’t fall asleep during working hours! …what am I going to do with you..?”

Herta

Sleeping people normally were none of Herta’s concern, they were neither interesting to study, nor entertaining enough to waste her precious time on them. But considering how much of a help you were with her research, it would have been rude not to spare you from the embarrassment of being seen like this by a whole lot of other people. It also helped that she was just about to start an experiment and needed a suitable guinea pig helper.

“Wakey-Wakey. How terrible to be bored enough to fall asleep even though you’re living on my space station. Lucky you! I have just the job for you”

Himeko

Himeko was a researcher first and foremost and one of the most important tasks of any respectable researcher was to observe. It was the first step towards putting together a scientific theory and thus something she was all too familiar with. So whenever she found you sound asleep on one of the astral express’ couches, she did what she did best: observe. Was it with a cup of coffee in hand or some random book she got her hands on.For whatever reason watching you sleep put her mind at ease, like watching one of those cat videos March liked to show around to the rest of the crew. To varying degrees of excitement.

“Theory: the couch is even more comfortable when tired”, Himeko stated to herself before pressing her hand against the couch, feeling it before letting out a small yawn, covering her mouth with her free hand before nodding to herself. “Theory seems possible. I’ll need to test it more often”, she spoke while slowly putting her head on the cushions, tiredness, no matter how much coffee she drank, rolling over Himeko, only for her to quickly nod off herself, her head not far from your own.

Kafka

Truth be told, Kafka would have preferred you were awake. There weren’t many things one could do with a sleeping person, but as waking you up was out of the question, other ideas quickly began swirling through her mind, until finally, her brain decided on one.

Putting on one of her favorite lipsticks, she gave you a quick peck on the cheek, making sure to leave an imprint of her lips, only to find herself unsatisfied with the results. If you were lucky you’d notice it once you went to the bathroom in the morning, by which time you would have already passed the rest of your crewmates, and while she doubted that they’d have any reaction to it, one imprint would have certainly been enough to make you embarrassed about it.

That being said, adding one or two more couldn’t hurt.

March 7th

Seeing you sleeping in such a public place like the parlor of the astral express wasn’t something March got to see every day and while the urge to take a picture of you with her camera was compelling, she knew that there had to be made preparations beforehand. Before long, March pulled out a marker before carefully drawing a silly mustache and monocle on your face, making sure not to wake you up in the process. You were probably going to figure out the culprit relatively quickly once you looked in the mirror, but as long as she got a silly photo, March didn’t really care.

And a silly photo she got.

Natasha

You were always trying your best to keep whatever child was currently bedbound inside her clinic entertained, never leaving their side until they had long fallen asleep. And while Natasha appreciated it, the sight of you and the children causing her heart to melt each time, you fell asleep while leaned against the bed more than once.

In such moments Natasha would have loved to carry you to bed, the floor being a lot colder than a blanket, but that would only wake you from your dreams, something she didn’t want to be responsible for after seeing you take such good care of others. And so all she was able to do was cover you with a blanket of your own before making a mental note to repay you the following day

Pela

While you always indulged Pela in her hobbies, her requests of painting a picture of you always fell on deaf ears, you always finding a reason or excuse for her not to, too embarrassed by the idea of being painted. So finding you asleep like this was like a godsent. Locking the room to make sure you didn’t slip away before she got her notebook and pens from her room, Pela made sure to return quickly before beginning while you were still asleep.

After all, what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.

Qingque

While she had been sent to find you by Fu Xuan herself, you having reportedly been sent to get something from the abandoned storage, only to not return, her boss ought to have thought twice before picking Qingque for the task of retrieving you. So when she eventually found you, having nodded off on an old couch in one of the corners of the building, the prolific slacker couldn’t help but notice how comfortable it looked. And while many would have felt ashamed for even thinking about sitting down next to you and closing their eyes for five minutes while on work, Qingque had no such inhibitions.

It didn’t sound like Fu Xuan needed you that urgently, so it wasn’t like she was going to get fired for this… probably.

Serval

When Serval found you slumped over one of the desks in her workshop, passed out from what seemed to be exhaustion as the mechanism you had tried solving these past couple of days lay next to you, not much closer to completion than it seemed yesterday, she couldn’t help but smile at your dedication to the craft, or so was the reason she would have given if she wasn’t having difficulties retaining her composure at the sight of your sleeping face

A part of her wanted to squeeze you till you popped, or at the very least displayed signs of doing so, finding what she saw in front of her as adorable as a puppy, yet she decided against as much as touching you. Neither wishing to wake you up nor to accidentally breaking one of your bones. She needed you in her audience after all.

Tingyun

If you had been Ying Juan, Tingyun’s next course of action would have been as clear as the sky on a sunny day. Snap a few pictures to sell to all kinds of Fangirls and make a quick buck. But considering you weren’t anywhere as popular and she had her qualms about the idea of anyone else getting to see you sleeping this peacefully, her conscience beat out the businesswoman inside of her.

That being said, just because she wasn’t going to let anyone else see you like this, didn’t mean she was going to let this opportunity for a nice photo slip, pulling out her phone as taking a picture in one swoop before putting it back and once again walking out of the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

Summary: "I shoudn't be watching a man undressing, specially not from the house next door."

Warning: Very cute Jungkook 🥰, tipsy behaviour, homosexual relationship, deep conversations, the Reader starts to lose their shyness 🥹, kisses, fluff, and a lot of fluff 😻

A/N: Hi, I'm back. This week has been very hard, and I thought coming here would be a way to distance myself from reality 😭 In the last chapter, we saw that Jungkook had a romantic relationship with Namjoon. I received some comments saying they won't read my story anymore and that I ruined it, because of that. I am a very insecure person. This is the first time I'm posting something I've written, and honestly, I don’t know what to think. The boys are very important to me, and I don’t want to offend any of them (or anyone else). If necessary, I will remove everything I’ve written and just move on. Please leave your opinion in the comments. Other than that, thank you very much for the positive messages. I’m very happy to know that a good part of those who are here with me are enjoying it. Thank you so much.

Previous chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 6

My week passed slowly and calmer than I imagined. I worked and studied as always, and fortunately, I passed my semester exams. My mind was always in another dimension, but I held back and did my best not to let Jungkook affect me. Or the thoughts of him, which were insistent and continuous. I didn’t see him anymore, at his mother’s house or anywhere I went. As soon as I got to my room that morning, I received a message from an unknown number, which I knew was him, asking if I was okay and if I was safe. I replied yes and then I didn’t send any more messages, even when he asked what I would do on Wednesday and if I wanted to meet him somewhere.

Unlike last week, feeling embarrassed, I didn’t visit Mrs. Jeon as much as I would have liked, afraid to see Jungkook and be confronted. At times, I wanted to tell her what happened, to vent to someone and express how confused I am, even though she is his mother, but I held back and didn’t say anything, knowing that the torment in my head doesn’t go away because I want him back, with me, and I know that venting in this case doesn’t help at all.

I have always been submissive to my mother and thought of her before anything else. Before myself, it comes her. It has always been this way, as if it were engraved in my brain or I were programmed that way. Jungkook may not understand, but that’s the truth. That’s why I can’t relax around him. I find myself in conflict with what I desire and what I know she would want. I have never disobeyed Eunji, let alone considered that idea. I know she wouldn’t approve of Jungkook, for a million reasons, so I am aware that if I were honest with her and admitted my feelings, there would be a conflict between us that I know I am not prepared to start.

My mother has been stricter with me as the days have passed, and I know it’s because the date of my father’s death is approaching. I try to please her in every way I can, as a way of compensation. I went to church more times than normal, worked at the bazaar, and even cooked so she wouldn’t have to. I don’t like hiding anything from her and I feel guilty in a way for lying that day. Our mother-daughter relationship has been like this my whole life, somewhat cold and strange; since I was a child, I took on her pains and tried to put her needs ahead of mine.

Today was very busy. I helped a classmate with her college exams, since unfortunately, she didn’t do well in the final tests, and I worked twice as hard because those who don’t study, always get desperate in the university library, trying to learn what they didn’t study the entire semester. I had to organize the same books thousands of times and barely had time to eat or go to the bathroom.

I got home dead tired but fulfilled. The college assignments are ready and the tests are done. At least the worries I felt about college are no longer a problem; one less thing to stress about. I grab a romance book to read, and flip through the pages with pleasure, curious to see if the main character will finally confess her feelings. I’m halfway through the chapter, engrossed in continuing, when my phone vibrates. I look at the screen without much attention, accepting the call without knowing who it is.

“Y/N?” I hear a hoarse voice on the other end of the line, and my body instantly tingles. I take the phone from my ear and sit up in bed, flustered. It’s Jungkook

I remain silent, not knowing what to say.

“Y/N? Are you there?” he asks. I consider the possibility of saying nothing, and just letting him think I answered the phone by accident, but I can’t. I want to talk to him; I want to know how he is. I miss him.

“Jungkook, I’m here.” I say; my voice trembling without much strength. I swallow hard, nervous. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” He murmurs. There’s another moment of silence; only his heavy breathing filling the sound of the call.

“That’s good.” I force a smile, even though he can’t see me. I shake my head, grabbing a strand of my hair.

“I wanted... I wanted to see you.” He says softly, in a whisper, and my already agitated heart beats even faster. Butterflies fill my stomach, the way I can’t help it.

“Jungkook, I can’t.”

“You can, and I know you want to.” He asserts, with so much confidence, it’s as if he knows all my thoughts. “I want to be with you. We don’t need to do anything. We can just talk, watch something together. I need to be with someone.”

“Did something happen?” I ask, worried. I bite my lower lip, waiting for his answer.

“Yes... a person. One that I’m trying to get rid of, has been trying to get close. I don’t want that.” He replies. I don’t understand anything he says. Is it a friend? Did he have a falling out with someone?

“We can talk on the phone.” I suggest. For some reason, I feel safer when there’s a big space between us. I think the fact that he’s far from me, gives me the false sense that I’m in control of the situation.

“Are you that afraid of me?” He chuckles. I smile in response, shrugging.

“You said you wanted to talk. We’re talking.”

“How difficult you are.” He sighs, teasing me. “Don’t you miss me at all?”

“Jungkook!” I scold him. I’m breathless just from the question.

“It’s serious. I told you that you needed time to think, but I didn’t imagine you wanted to stay away from me, while you decided.”

“It’s just that everything is very complicated.”

“I feel used.” He jokes again, making me grin. “You used my body and now you don’t even want to look at my face.”

“You’re making me embarrassed.” I grunt, laughing awkwardly. My cheeks turns red with the memories of us in his bed. Him sucking me, fingering me, making me come. My God, it feels like that happened years ago, not just a few days.

“Sorry. I know, I shouldn’t say those things. But I really wanted to see you. Can’t you come here?” he asks, his voice dragging. I furrow my brows, suspicious.

“Did you—Jungkook, have you been drinking?”

“Just a little.” He chuckles on the call. Now everything makes sense. He wouldn’t call me if he were sober. If he were completely sane, he would seek out one of his friends to vent. I sigh, throwing myself onto the bed.

“I’m going to hang up, okay?”

“Wait! Don’t hang up! Why are you doing this? Did I do something?”

“Because you’re drunk.” I finally say, a little upset. Would he want to call me if it weren’t for the alcohol? The doubt makes me uncomfortable.

“I’m not drunk Y/N, I swear. I just drank a little. I’m 100% aware of the things I’m telling you.” Jungkook argues desperately, as if he’s afraid I’ll hang up at any moment. I sigh again, closing my eyes.

“Where are you?” I ask, and almost immediately, regret it. Whether he’s drunk or not, it’s not my problem. Jungkook is an adult and knows very well what he’s doing. He’s not your father, a voice in my head says.

“I’m at my apartment. You know the address. I just didn’t pick you up because I drank; otherwise, I’d already be at your door.”

“Please, don’t do that!” I widen my eyes, just imagining the scene. My father died in a car accident because he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Besides being dangerous, my mother isn’t stupid, and if she realizes I have any involvement with him because he came to pick me up, I’m screwed.

“Then come over. I even bought Mexican food.” He says softly, almost pleading. I roll my eyes and grunt, irritated with myself and with him. Why can’t I resist him? For fuck sake!

“Okay, I’ll try. But we’re just going to talk, watch something, and then I’ll go back. We’re not going to do anything else besides that!” I assure, more to myself, afraid that the same thing will happen as last Sunday.

“Okay. I swear I’ll try to control myself.” He mocks again. I smirk, covering my mouth. I like the normal Jungkook, but him being drunk... it’s like he’s himself, but lighter and funnier.

“Alright, I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

“Send me your location on your phone.” He asks. I mumble in agreement, and then he hangs up. I stare at my ceiling for a good few seconds, not believing it. Why am I doing this? Why am I going to his apartment? Where is this going to lead me?

When I was a little girl, I liked to imagine myself with kids, a husband, and a part-time job. I have always been very romantic; I never wanted to be with someone unless it was forever. At the same time, every time I think of Jungkook, none of that matters. He doesn’t want something serious, from what it seemed when he talked to his friends, and yet I can’t get him out of my head. I do things I would never do, and recklessly, I don’t measure the consequences of my actions. I quickly get out of bed and pace back and forth in my room. My mom is home, maybe in the living room. It’s already nine o’clock on a Friday night, and there’s nothing I can say to her that would convince her to let me go out.

At the same time, I told her an hour ago that I wasn’t going to have dinner and that I would sleep after a shower. She hasn’t been to my room since then. Maybe if I sneak out the window and call a taxi, she won’t even notice I left the house. I bite my lip, nervous. I decide to lock my bedroom door just for safety and simultaneously, put some pillows underneath my blanket, forming the silhouette of what was supposed to be my body. I grin nervously, not knowing what to do. I’ve never run away from home, and the only experience I have consists of teen movies and series. I have no idea if this is really going to work.

I change my clothes for a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt when I realize it’s colder outside, and I open my window. I sneak out with little skill along the balcony, and the bars that accompany the wall, until I reach the grass in my backyard. I tiptoe, trying not to make noise with my sneakers. I walk down my street somewhat breathlessly, pondering the idea of turning back and forgetting that Jungkook even called me. At the same time, I want to see him again. Without thinking too much, I call the taxi, which arrives quickly at my address.

The whole journey takes about ten minutes and simultaneously passes in the blink of an eye. My hands get sweaty as I recognize some places and establishments still open. I sigh, looking at my phone. There are no messages from my mother, only one from Jungkook, saying he’s tracking me via GPS. I smile, feeling a bit more secure. A wave of anxiety, heat, and uncertainty washes over me tough, when I arrive in front of the building of the man who, since I met him, has been haunting my head.

I open the car door and take a moment to look at the facade of the place, something I didn’t have much time to do last time. It’s beautiful, full of flowers and a spectacular garden. I walk along the sidewalk, still not knowing what to do, when I finally see him. Jungkook must have gone down to the lobby without me noticing, and he watches me with a smile on his face, so innocent and anxious that, amidst all this chaos, I’m glad I came. He walks up to me with disheveled and wet hair, perhaps from a recent shower he must have taken, wearing a black and white striped pajama; one of those you only wear in the comfort of your home.

I smile, unable to help it, vulnerable, energized and anxious. “I was worried about you, so I came down.” He comments, getting closer to me.

A scent of perfume, soap, and shaving foam envelops me deeply. My stomach churns again. If I thought hearing his voice made me unstable, seeing him in person completely breaks me. I don’t say a word, still mesmerized by his presence.

“You didn’t pay for the taxi, did you? I came down like a madman when I saw you had arrived.” He tells me. I shake my head in denial. He smiles again and walks over to the driver’s window. He takes the money from his wallet and returns to me as if this were routine and I visited him every day. He smiles one more time, taking steps towards me. “I told you I wasn’t drunk. Tipsy? Yes. Drunk, no.”

“Okay. You’re not. Sorry.” I grin awkwardly, looking down.

“You don’t need to apologize. Come with me; it’s too cold here, and I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He concludes, putting one of his arms around my shoulder, in an intimate touch that brings back memories of the night we were together. I follow him without much questioning, until we reach the elevator.

Inside the metal box, the tension rises. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to stay calm. I don’t need to be nervous. We’re going to talk, whatever it is he wants to say, and then I’ll go back home the same way I left, through my bedroom window. I lean my head against the wall, staring at the mirror that surrounds the elevator walls. The energy of his gaze burns me. He looks at me in a way that leaves me breathless. I swallow hard, not having the courage to reciprocate. It’s as if time has stopped and only we two exist. When I decide to say something, the elevator stops.

He guides me to enter his apartment, and a mountain of memories takes over me immediately. I chuckle in disbelief, covering my face with my hand. If my mother finds out I’m here, I don’t like to think about what could happen. I sit quietly on the couch, observing the place. It all seems the same as last time, except for Jungkook’s friends who filled the environment. Now it’s like there’s too much space, just the two of us here. I lick my dry lips, organizing my hair back, behind my shoulders.

“Are your friends okay?” I ask, trying to talk about things that aren’t about him and me. That for a few minutes, we can pretend that night never happened.

“They are.” He smiles at me, shrugging. “They’re planning a party to celebrate my studio when it’s ready. You’re definitely invited.” He says, sitting next to me. He touches the piercing on his eyebrow with his fingertips, and tosses his dark, soft hair back.

“When’s the celebration party going to be?” I ask, placing my hands on my lap, afraid to touch him. He’s so close that I can fully see the moles around his neck. The Adam’s apple moving every time he talks and swallows.

“I don’t know. There’s still so much to do, but I can’t stay in Busan because I left everything in Seoul to come here. At the same time, I can’t neglect my mom. It’s like I need several versions of myself to handle everything. Just one Jungkook isn’t enough, I think.” He chuckles, but gazing into his big eyes, I find no humor at all. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him to have his mother in this situation and live so far from her. He must be exhausted and worn out.

“When do you plan to go back to Seoul?” I ask, afraid of the answer.

“In about a month and a half, maybe.” He shrugs, biting his lower lip.

“Wow!” I say, surprised. I didn’t expect it to be so soon. He returns my gaze, confused. “I mean, it’s not long until you go back.” I smile, feigning an excitement I don’t feel, awkward.

“Yes, that’s true. I wish I could stop time right now. That would be the best superpower of all.” Jungkook laughs, forming a dimple in his cheek that I had never noticed he had. He rolls his eyes at himself, grunting. “Sorry, every time I drink something, I say these stupid things.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” I chuckle, a little more relaxed. He has this power over me, making me tense and calm at the same time.

“You know, I wanted to ask you something.” He comments, putting his feet on the couch.

“You can ask.”

“Promise you won’t get embarrassed?” He asks, grinning. I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

“I can’t promise that because I don’t know what the question is.”

“Oh, come on!? You always make that face when I talk to you.” He chuckles, teasing me. I shake my head, not understanding.

“What face? What are you talking about?”

“That face. You puff your cheeks because you’re blushing and look away all the time.” He clarifies. My cheeks turn red instantly, making him grin again. I cover my face, embarrassed.

“I can’t control that. Just ask your question, please.” I plead, somewhat awkwardly. He stops grinning and clears his throat, leaving me even more curious.

“I just wanted to know why... why didn’t you answer me that day? Why have you been avoiding me? Why didn’t you go to my mom’s house these days?”

“How do you know I didn’t visit your mom?” I retort, feeling a tingling in my hands, nervous.

“I know because I asked her.” He murmurs, and this time, he’s the one who turns red, as if he didn’t expect my question and feels uncomfortable answering. “After that night, I thought I’d see you again, that we could talk, but you never showed up again.”

“You didn’t show up either.” I defend myself, but I know my stupid argument makes no sense. Jungkook rolls his eyes, looking at me in such a deep way that I find myself breathless, for a good few seconds.

“Seriously Y/N. Did I do something? Did I hurt you in some way?”

“Do you think you did something to me? Is that what you’ve been thinking?”

“I understood it that way, and I’m afraid that it might be true. I don’t want to hurt you, not at all. You’ve helped my mom and have been so good to me. I don’t want to make you feel bad.” He assures again, without stopping. I close my eyes, angry with myself. Is that what I led him to believe when I didn’t respond to his message? When I was cold, did I upset him?

“Jungkook, you didn’t hurt me. Not at all, not in any way. You need to know that.” I affirm in the best way I can, breathless. “I’m like this. That’s why I don’t have friends; that’s why I don’t have people I can count on, because I push everyone away. This is a problem with me, not with you.”

“And why do you do that?” He questions, relaxing his body on the couch. He looks me in the eyes, and even though I try to look away, I can’t. He stare at me in such an intense way that it’s as if he can see my soul. I play with my fingers, not knowing what to do, disconcerted.

“I don’t want to get hurt. Because human relationships are difficult and unstable. Because when you let someone get close, you give them the power to hurt you, and I don’t want that to happen.”

“I know. I understand, and I don’t judge you.” He shakes his head. “So many things have happened in the last few months. I wanted to talk to someone during these days, and incredibly, the only person that came to my mind was you.”

I widen my eyes in surprise. I turn my attention to his face, but he’s distant, staring at something beyond the ceiling of his apartment. It’s as if he’s far away in thoughts and not in this moment, with me. I bite the inside of my cheek, touched. Him thinking of me, even if it’s just to vent, moves me. I like Jungkook. I truly like him, since the first time I saw him. Not just his body or his appearance, but the way he talks to me, as if I were someone worth listening to.

“You, Y/N, did something to me. Since that night, I can’t think of anything else, and I don’t know why.” He confesses, finally returning his face to me. My breathing becomes erratic, my heart races, and my hands get sweaty. “I also, that night, was confused. Just like you.”

“How so?” I ask, speechless.

“I don’t want you to be upset. I want to be honest with you.” He says. He puts one of his big, soft hands close to my face and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. I feel that wherever his touch passes, my skin burns. “Before coming to Busan, I had a serious relationship. Very serious.”

“You were with someone?” I ask, afraid to find out he still has something with that person.

“Yes.” He says softly. His breath close enough of me to feel it. “It was so serious that I swore he would be the person I would marry. I had never dated anyone besides him. I had never fallen in love, not that way.” He speaks, confessing to me, and my throat tightens. Does Jungkook like men? He had a relationship with someone of the same sex? For some reason, I never imagined the inked guy could be attracted to the male gender. Still, what really bothers me is when I hear him say he loved him. Does he still love him? Does he still think about him, when he’s alone?

“And then it ended, and everything I believed was shattered.” He shakes his head, and then chuckles without any humor. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I really don't. It’s just that when I’m with you, I feel light. I love my friends, I truly do, but when I’m with you, I feel comfortable, as if you wouldn’t judge me.”

“I wouldn’t judge you for anything, Jungkook.” I say softly and somehow, he can hear me. He smiles too, a little embarrassed.

“You know, after I ended my relationship and then that happened with my mom, I thought I was in a nightmare. All the people I could count on would simply disappear, and I couldn’t do anything, as if my hands were tied.”

“I know what you mean.” I comment, remembering my father. Not his last moments, drunk and a stranger. Those moments, from before, when he was the man I was proud to call my father. The man I knew I could count on, because he was always by my side.

“Tell me a little about you, Y/N. I feel like I’m just talking about myself. I really want to know you more. Listen to you.” He suggests. I raise my eyebrow, surprised.

“I don’t have anything to say.” I chuckle awkwardly.

“Of course you do. Everyone has something to say.” He argues, shaking his head. “Tell me about your life. Have you always lived in Busan?”

“Yes, I’m from Busan.” I reply, smiling slightly. “When I was younger, I went to the beach every weekend because I lived closer to the coast.”

“Really? I’ve never been to the beach.” He says, shrugging. I open my mouth, astonished.

“It’s so strange to hear that. I always went when I was a kid. For some reason, after I moved, I never did again.” I sigh, nostalgic. The things I used to enjoy a few years ago simply lost meaning, when my father died and my mother became the woman she is now.

“Why don’t you go back to the beach once in a while? It’s not that far from here.”

“I don’t know why; I just don’t go. I forgot that I missed it until I started talking to you.” I smile genuinely this time. He returns the smile, nibbling on his rosy lips that I like so much.

“Maybe we could go to the beach together. I to get to know it, and you to reconnect.” He suggests with a light and sincere smile, and my stomach, a little calmer, fills with butterflies again.

“Maybe.” I agree, not knowing if that would actually be possible. Who knows, in the future, or at some other moment. I don’t want to dismiss that possibility when it seems so sweet and inviting. I sigh, looking at the screen of my phone. It’s almost eleven o’clock. I know I have to go home. Jungkook seems to realize my doubt and makes a pout with his lips, almost like a spoiled child who didn’t get what he wanted. "I think I must go."

“We should eat first. I ordered tacos and burritos, and if everything gets cold, the food loses fifty percent of its flavor.” He says, already getting up, not giving me much opportunity to contest. I get up too, rolling my eyes.

“That’s another one of your theories? Like that one of having four meals a day?” I ask, finding it funny. I follow him into his kitchen, watching him take the Mexican food out of some containers. It looks so appetizing and seasoned that my mouth waters.

“My mom was really cruel when I was younger.” Jungkook laughs. He frowns, with that same expression he always makes when he sees something delicious, then looks at me, bringing a taco closer to my mouth. “The first bite has to be yours.”

“You can eat it. You seem hungrier than I am.” I reply, teasing. He pretends to look angry and shakes his head, as if I just said the most nonsensical thing in the world.

“I’m a gentleman. I insist.” He brings the taco closer to my mouth again, and with no alternative, I bite the food he offers me with such insistence. The spicy flavor brings such a rich explosion to my tongue that I can’t help but like it. I must have done something funny tough, because Jungkook smile, in a delightful chuckle that I had never heard coming from him.

“The corner of your mouth is dirty.” He explains in a whisper, pointing to my lower lip. I try to clean it by myself, but I seem to be unsuccessful, as he himself wipes the sauce off my skin with his thumb. I take a few seconds to realize how close he is to me, naturally intoxicating me. I can smell his perfume. His energy that brings electricity to my body. How much my skin longs for him. I want to kiss him again. To feel his lips, just like I did in this same kitchen that morning.

Jungkook seems to understand exactly what I’m thinking because he smiles that loose and careless smirk, as if he knows what I want and is waiting for me to make the first move.

“If you want to kiss me, I give you all my permission. I’m serious.” He jokes, but doesn’t laugh. His dark, big doe-eyes go toward my mouth and I see desire; feelings I had never seen directed at me. I swallow hard, nervous.

“I can’t, Jungkook. My mom, she...” I whisper, trying to organize my thoughts. He smiles, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Forget about your mom, Y/N. Do you want this?” He questions softly. I nod my head. He knows I want to, I want it so badly that it’s as if I’m going to die. “If that’s what you want, do it! Screw what your mom thinks. Just do it.”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do anything when I came here.” I tell him, chuckling nervously.

“It seems you can’t stay away from me. After that night, I don’t want to stay away from you either.” He denies, closing his eyes. “This week was hell... I don’t want to feel alone. Do you feel the same as I do?”

“I do.” I agree, and without thinking much, I kiss him.

His warm lips touch mine, and if I could save this moment in my head and make copies, I would. Unlike the first night I was here, Jungkook is calmer, less desperate. It’s as if he has time to be with me and wants to enjoy every second. I feel his hands on my waist, pulling me towards him until I’m completely fused to his body. I grunt when his tongue requests entry inside my mouth, and I can’t stop him, nor do I want to. I pull at his hair, feeling its softness, in a pleasant caress at the nape of his neck. He smiles during the kiss, moaning. He slowly separates from me, holds my cheeks with both hands, and seals our lips once again, in short pecks that spread across my entire face. I chuckle when one of them touches my jawline, tickling me.

“Stop, please!” I burst out laughing when he continues, kissing my forehead, nose, and finally, my lips again.

“I'm only stopping because I need to breathe.” He laughs with me, finally ceasing.

“Ok, clingy boy, I really need to go now.” I mock disheartened, trying to disentangle myself from him. He stops me, kissing me again.

“Please, don’t go.”

“I have to go. Seriously.”

“It’s too early.” He argues, caressing my face with his thumb.

“What happened to you, Jungkook? Why are you being so dramatic?” I question, curious. He’s different. A good different, but I can’t understand him. Does he want something serious with me? He doesn’t love the person he was in a serious relationship with, anymore? There are so many questions in my head that I feel lost.

“I'm not being dramatic. I like you, Y/N.” He assures me as if it were the most obvious thing, with those dark, big eyes, so pure... I simply can’t explain why, I just believe him.

“You do?” I ask, smiling. No one ever said that to me. A good feeling fills me; my cheeks turn red as he nods his head.

“I like. I thought you knew.” He says simply. And then peck me again. “Come on, before you go, you’re going to eat with me.”

“Okay, but I need to be quick. It’s getting really late.” I say, worried about my mom; the fact that she might find out I left the house.

“I’ll accompany you in the taxi. I’m not letting you go alone. Then I can come back here.”

“Really?” I ask. He chuckles, pulling my hand until I sit in the chair. “Then okay. Let's eat. And Jungkook?"

"What?"

"I like you too." I say, seeing his small and cute smile

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@ttipa @ane102 @joonwater

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Best Intentions - Chapter Three

Pairing: Tom Bennett (World on Fire) x f!reader Warnings: Angst. Smut. Mentions of shell shock/PTSD. Word count: ~3.9k

Summary: She deals with an unexpected visit and Lois forces her to take action. Final part. Series masterlist.

Author's note: I don't have a tag list. Please follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications. Community labels are for cops.

She is inconsolable when she gets home, having walked the short distance from the wall back to her house, vision blurred with tears.

Her mum rises from the kitchen table, rushing to her and pulling her into a tight hug the moment she sees the state she’s in.

“Oh, love,” she coos, stroking her hair, “he’s a fool to have upset you like that.”

“He’s not a fool, Mum,” she sobs, snotty nosed and shaking, into the wool of her cardigan, “I couldn’t say yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him.”

She loves Tom. She’s in love with Tom.

Deep down, she knows she’s probably felt that way all along, yet the admission shocks her all the same.

She feels numb for the rest of the evening, though grateful for the soothing reassurance of her mum. If nothing else, her endless cups of tea give her something warm to wrap her hands around, something to focus on besides how hurt Tom had looked when she’d said no to him.

It was the right thing to do, she knows this, they aren’t ready for such an enormous commitment, but she can’t help but wonder if making the right choice was meant to make it feel like her heart was being torn in two.

Puffy eyed and miserable when she awakens the next day, her mum offers to give her the day off from the shop. Wearily, she shakes her head, eager to carry on as normal.

“If I stop at home, I’ll drive myself mad thinking about it all. I just wanna get on.”

Her mum gives her hand a reassuring squeeze and a “whatever you think is best, love”.

Theoretically, the shop should take her mind off things, yet there are reminders of Tom in everything. As she’s restocking the sweet jars, her heart lurches in her chest when she gets to the sherbet straws, thinking about how their fingers would brush against each other when they;d share a bag. They were Tom’s favourites. 

When a man comes in to buy a cigarette, she rolls it around in her fingers after taking it from the shelf. It’s Tom’s brand. She’d always hated the way the smell of the smoke would stick to his hair and clothes. Now, the thought that she may never breathe in the stale scent of tobacco on his jacket when he pulls her in for a hug makes her eyes well up with tears, and she has to sniffle them away before turning back to the till to take payment.

Then there is the more obvious reminder living upstairs; Lois. As if summoned by the thought of her, she appears from the back, Vera nestled against her hip.

“You and Tom left in a hurry on Saturday, thought you’d both stick around after for a drink,” she says, bouncing the toddler gently in her arms.

“Oh,” she says, feeling anxiety gnaw at her insides, as her skin heats up with a mixture of shame and embarrassment, not wanting to reveal to Lois what’s happened between her and Tom. It still feels too raw to talk about. “Yeah, sorry, wasn’t feeling well. You and Connie sounded great though!”

She offers a smile that she hopes looks sincere and Lois looks at her with sympathy in her big, blue eyes.

“You mentioned the other day you were feeling a bit tired, everything okay?”

She swallows, nodding her head, just wanting the conversation to be over.

Her and Tom have the same eyes.

It’s excruciating to look at her. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine now. Run ragged by the shop, you know how it is.”

Lois readjusts Vera against her hip, running a hand over her soft curls, before looking back up. “Well, if you find time to get away tomorrow, I’ve asked Tom to pop round on his dinner break. Been ages since I’ve caught up with him, would be nice to see you too, even if you can only manage time for a cuppa.”

She feels her throat run dry at this. If Lois has invited Tom round then that means he’ll have to come to the shop. She’ll have to see him. She isn’t ready.

She can feel a void opening in the pit of her stomach, dread prickling her skin. “Maybe..” she offers quietly, and is grateful that at that moment Vera starts to fuss, drawing Lois’ attention away from her.

“Better get this one back upstairs anyway,” Lois says, distractedly, “maybe see you tomorrow!”

She breathes a sigh of relief when she disappears into the back and up the stairs again, resting her elbows on the counter and putting her head in her hands.

Tom is going to be at the shop tomorrow. What on earth will I say to him?

Nerves flutter in her belly all morning the next day, her heart racing so fast she is sure that every customer she serves must be able to hear it. More than once her hands fumble when giving someone their change, sending coins spilling across the counter.

If it wouldn’t earn her a stern telling off from her mum, she’d close up for the day and go home, so that she wouldn’t have to see Tom when he inevitably arrives.

She has a hundred different things she wants to say to him; I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so bloody angry with you. I love you.

None of them seem appropriate.

It’s precisely noon when the bell above the shop door tinkles and she looks up from the stamps she’s sorting, met with the intense stare of Tom.

He’s on time. He’s never on time for anything. She feels her hands tremble, her breathing unsteady as she tries to organise her thoughts into something coherent. She curses herself, she’s wasted all morning deciding what to say and still has nothing.

Her hesitation is more than enough for Tom apparently, as he huffs, mouth twisting into a sneer, before striding into the back and up the stairs to the flat.

Bowing her head she feels her throat tighten, lips pulling downwards with the effort not to burst into tears. In all the years she’d known Tom, seeing him had never made her feel so rotten. She swipes angrily at her nose, inhaling a deep shaky breath before busying herself with organising what’s left of the day’s papers.

An hour later, Tom reappears in the doorway that leads towards the back, as she’s standing counting up the till drawer. Up close she can see the haunted look in his eyes, the dark bags underneath them. The night terrors are clearly as bad as ever, he doesn’t look like he’s sleeping properly. She wants nothing more than to go to him, pull him into a hug and comfort him, but can’t stand the thought of him pushing her away if she tries.

Once more she realises she’s staring at him without saying anything, he’s clearly waiting for her to make the first move, and she hasn’t. 

His eyes narrow in anger, and he breezes past her, muttering an irritated “piss off” as he goes.

The casualness of his insolence towards her turns her sorrow into anger, which she feels boil up inside her, erupting as she shouts “no, you piss off!” after him.

How dare he?! After everything, that’s all he has to say to me.

But it’s too late. The door to the shop is already closed. Tom’s gone.

Her sob catches in her throat, and before she’s able to stop it, a piteous wail leaves her, which she attempts to muffle with the palm of her hand. Hot tears roll down her cheeks, the painful twisting in her chest from Sunday returning in earnest.

“Hey, hey,” comes a gentle voice from behind her. The slender arms of Lois wrap around her, pulling her into a warm hug. “What’s all this?”

There’s no use lying to her now, not when Lois has seen her like this.

“It’s Tom,” she says, pulling away slowly, voice thick from crying, “we’ve been seeing each other.”

Lois chuckles quietly. “Well, I knew that, it’s not exactly a secret. What’s he done?”

She closes her eyes briefly, feeling shame wash over her. Would Lois be angry if she told her she’d said no to Tom’s proposal?

“He proposed to me, I said no,” she blurts, “but it’s not because I don’t love him! I still want to be with him, we’ve just never made it official, and I don’t want to rush.”

Lois goes quiet for a moment, her eyes widening in obvious shock at what she’d revealed. “Wow…Tom proposed?” Her eyebrows raise, and they stand in silence as she takes in the revelation, thinking about what to say next.

Chewing her lip, Lois nods and their eyes meet before she speaks again. “So, what did Tom say exactly?”

“Not much, he finished with me,” she says miserably.

“You told him you love him and he finished with you?!” She asks, her mouth agape.

“Well…no…I’ve never actually told him I love him…” she admits, averting her gaze, feeling her face grow hot.

“Well then maybe you should start with that?” Lois suggests.

“I can’t, Lois!” She cries, “He’s not been the same since he came home, you know he hasn’t. He needs to get help.”

“Yeah, he does,” Lois agrees, “but that’s not your job to do. It’s yours to be there for him, to let him know it’s not him you’re saying no to. He needs you, anyone can see that.”

She knows Lois is right. Tom has likely seen her rejection as a rejection of her wanting to be with him, thinking he’s too broken, when that is the furthest thing from the truth. The state he was in when he came to the shop earlier is proof of the fact that he just needs her to be there for him, but she has been too caught up in her own feelings to realise his. 

“Yeah, you’re right”, she says, wiping her eyes, “I need to speak to him. I’ll go to the garage tomorrow.”

“Or you could go tonight?” Lois suggests, “He doesn’t finish for another half hour after the shop closes, so you can catch him before he goes home.”

“Oh, Lois, I look a mess, he can’t see me like this–” she tries to protest, but is cut off.

“Yes, he can! Let him see you’re as upset by this as he is. He needs to know you care.”

She purses her lips. Lois is right. No use in putting it off. The longer she leaves it, the harder it’ll be.

Checking her face in her compact as she stands outside of the garage, she’s grateful that her tears haven’t done too much damage to her mascara. Only the faintest rim of red around her eyes suggests that she’d ever been upset.

The shutter is halfway down, suggesting that Tom is close to finishing up for the day. His feet are the only pair she sees beneath. Drawing in a steading breath, she ducks through the gap, righting herself as Tom regards her with a furrowed brow and widened eyes; an apparent mixture of surprise and anger.

“What are you doing here?” He asks sullenly.

She holds up her hands in mock surrender, attempting to keep her tone even, despite the way her voice wobbles. “Please, Tom, I’m not here to argue. I just wanna talk to you.”

“Got nothin’ to say,” he sniffs, wiping his hands on a rag and closing the bonnet of the sleek black motorcar he’s been working on.

“But I have,” she pleads, “so please just hear me out.”

She spots his jaw tick in annoyance, but he nods all the same, remaining silent, so she presses on.

“I need you to know that when I said no I wasn’t saying no to you, to us, just the proposal. I don’t think we’re ready.”

Tom rolls his eyes, throwing the rag down, sniffing before he replies. “Yeah, I get it, you wouldn’t wanna be stuck with someone that’s not right in the head.”

“Don’t say that,” she says sadly, a dull ache forming in her chest. “You’ve been through so much, Tommy, but you’ll get through it and I’ll be with you every step of the way, because I love you.”

“You what?” He asks quickly, head snapping up to look at her.

Her breath catches in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest.

Oh god. What if he doesn’t say it back? What if he tells her to go away and never speak to him again?

“I–I love you,” she stammers, feeling as though her vulnerability will swallow her whole.

“Say it again,” Tom says lowly, stepping towards her.

He’s so close she can smell the motor oil that clings to his skin. It makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“I love you,” she repeats with more confidence, gazing up at him.

In one swift movement, he grabs the back of her neck, pulling her to him and crushing his lips against hers. 

It’s not the four little words she’d expected in return, but the action expresses everything he needs to say.

I love you too.

She melts into it, kissing him back with equal fervour. His kiss is hungry, filled with desperation, yet it feels like coming home after a long journey. He tastes of tobacco and spearmint. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed the pillowy softness of his mouth until it’s moving against her own. Absent-mindedly, her arms wrap around his shoulders, as Tom’s free hand grips her waist.

When they break for air, he presses his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

“God, I missed you,” he whispers.

She barely has time to tell him she’s missed him too before he’s kissing her again, pulling the shutter all the way closed and maneuvering her backwards towards the car he’s been working on, yanking open the back door.

Bracing her palms against his chest, she pulls back slightly, apprehension at odds with the desire she feels. “We can’t do that here, that’s a customer’s car! What if we get caught?”

Tom shrugs. “Shutter’s down, and I’ve not fucked you for ages. Come on, no one will catch us.”

She giggles, taking in the sight of his lust-widened pupils and kiss-swollen lips. It sends a needy throb straight to her core, and she grabs him by the front of his overalls, pulling him back to her once more.

His tongue sweeps against hers, as he lays her down in the cramped confines of the back seat before climbing on top of her. His tall frame means he has to keep one knee pressed between her leg and the back of the seat, and the other on the floor.

“You sure there’s room?” She purrs playfully, brushing her lips against his neck.

“I’ll fucking make room,” he hisses, awkwardly shrugging out of his overalls, causing her to laugh.

“Something funny?” He mutters darkly, pushing his hand beneath her skirt, his fingers toying with the gusset of her knickers, before slipping inside the material.

She gasps as his digits press through the wetness of her folds, bucking against his hand. It’s been so long since she felt his touch like this that his hands upon her skin feel like a brand. “Tommy…” is all she’s able to whimper.

He smirks. “That’s what I thought,” he says cockily, his words punctuated by the wet sounds of his fingertips moving through the slick of her arousal. “This all for me?”

“Y–yeah,” she breathes out, and he withdraws his hand, making her whine.

“Don’t wanna let it go to waste,” he tells her, pushing his overalls further down, along with his briefs.

She bites her lower lip, watching him stroke the length of his erection, ruddy and shiny with arousal at its tip.

His eyebrows raise, lips parting as a look of realisation flashes across his features. “I haven’t got a sheath..”

“Oh, Tommy!” She cries out in frustration.

He frowns, his tone becoming defensive. “Well, sorry, why would I keep any here? Not like I make a habit of shagging in the garage, is it?”

She feels light headed with the intensity of her need for him. She isn’t sure she can wait for them to get back to his flat. Desire is the only thing fuelling her in this moment, alongside the words that leave her mouth. “Just pull out then.”

Tom’s eyes widen, a grin spreading across his face. “If you say so.”

He leans over her, pulling her underwear to one side, and guiding himself to her entrance. They groan in unison as he pushes forward, stretching her open on his length.

The feeling of being so intimate with him again after being apart is divine all by itself, however, being able to feel him fully without a barrier to separate them has her inner walls fluttering around him as he breaches her to the hilt.

“Jesus christ,” is all he’s able to grit out as he stills, allowing them both to adjust to the sensation.

“Please…please move,” she mewls desperately.

Tom pulls his hips back, before driving forward, the repeated motion causing the car to squeak and rock, yet it barely registers to her. Her only focus is the feeling of him inside of her, the way that every thrust brushes against a spot inside of her that makes her abdomen tighten like a coil.

“I don’t think I’m gonna last,” Tom pants above her, fogging the windows up, “you feel too bloody good.”

“Not yet,” she whispers breathlessly, the coil in her belly almost at its breaking point, “‘m so close…”

Tom groans, snaking a hand between them, fingers reaching beneath her knicker elastic to toy with her pearl in tandem with each deep thrust.

Warmth spreads through her, as she writhes beneath him, the pressure within her building until it finally gives way and she tightens around him with a wanton moan.

“Shitshitfuck–” Tom groans, withdrawing from her and spilling white hot ropes of spend across her thighs with quick, sure strokes.

He hovers over her for a few moments longer, simply looking into her eyes and stroking her hair. She’s certain that at this point right now she’s never felt more in love with him. It feels good to have him back. Her Tommy.

He helps her out of the car, careful not to stain the upholstery and gets her cleaned up. 

Finally, he breaks the silence, turning to her as they straighten up their clothes. “So what should I do with it? The ring, I mean. I can get a diamond put in, I–”

“It’s perfect, as it is,” she reassures him, cupping his face in her hands, “keep it for now. Ask me again when we’re ready.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” he responds, bumping her nose with his.

Over the next six months their relationship blossoms, with her spending more and more time at Tom’s flat. No longer “just mates”, they proudly hold hands as they walk down the street together. Shared lunch breaks are spent on their wall, passing a bag of sherbet straws back and forth.

Tom’s night terrors lessen. Over time he comes to accept that it would be good to talk to someone. It’s still a touchy subject for him, and he refuses to use the term shell shock because of its association with Douglas. Not wanting to explore anything as extreme as electric shock therapy, he opts to see a doctor who has adopted psychotherapy as a means of treatment.

With each session, he looks a little lighter, though still haunted by the memories of what he has endured in combat, the load becomes more bearable to manage, and her heart feels as though it could burst with pride for him.

It’s New Year’s Eve, as they stand on the rain-dampened pavement outside of the Ducie Arms. Tom sways unsteadily on his feet, six pints deep, as they look up at the sky, the colourful crackle of fireworks overhead heralding in a brand new year. 

He pulls her in for a sloppy kiss, and she happily reciprocates, despite the lingering taste of lager upon his lips. His eyes are glassy as he pulls the ring box from his jacket pocket, his words slurred.

“Will you–”

She shakes her head, placing her hand over his, pushing it gently back towards his pocket.

“Ask me when you’re sober.”

It feels terrible to reject him a second time, yet she knows to get engaged when they’re both not in full control of their actions would be a mistake.

Thankfully, in his drunken state he doesn’t seem to mind, simply nodding and pocketing the ring box once more.

When he wakes up the next morning, bleary eyed and complaining he has a headache, he has no memory of most of the previous evening, and she cannot help the pang of disappointment she feels.

Another six months pass, and Tom continues to improve. His night terrors happen irregularly and he has started to fill out again, not quite as bony as he was when he first returned to Longsight. He looks healthy, happy. It fills her with warmth to see him recovering.

Yet there is a constant nagging in the back of her mind. She has knocked Tom back twice now, what if he never asks again?

Vera is now walking and talking, and, needing more space, Lois moves out of the flat above the shop, having found a little terraced house with a garden for her to play in.

Her and Tom decide to take the step of occupying the space. Tom gives up his flat, and the two move in together. They spend most of their time together anyway, so it makes sense.

It’s their moving in day, and she silently curses Tom for being too tight fisted to pay a removal man to do this for them, as they carry his old sofa up the stairs.

She feels clammy with sweat by the time they place it heavily down in their empty living room. Huffing with relief, she sits down, wanting to take a breather before they carry anything else up. She wipes her brow, looking around the space with a slight smile on her face.

A fresh start for both of them. A place to call theirs. A space to create memories.

She is snapped out of her reverie by Tom calling her name.

“I’m not moving anything else until I’ve–”

She freezes, mouth agape as she turns her head and sees Tom on one knee before her, ring box open in his hand.

“Thought now felt like the right time,” he says, “so will you?”

“I’m all sweaty,” she says bashfully.

“You’ve never looked better. My wife, working hard to put all of our old shit in our flat. So how about it?” He asks, cocking his head.

Her heart flutters. He’s right, there will never be a more perfect moment than this.

“Yes,” she breathes, allowing him to slip the simple gold band onto her ring finger.

He leans in pressing his lips to hers and she smiles into it, running her fingers through his hair as he pulls away again, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Still mates though, yeah?” He whispers.

She giggles. “Always.”

[inkmonster21]

Sing for Me

2. This is Wrong, but Feels so Right

Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader / The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

She's a singer the nation adores. He's the actor everyone respects. What happens when these two get entangled in a heated affair? Passion, regret, rage, and even murder will commence. From before the bombs drop to the vast wasteland, these two souls live for one another.

Previous Chapter 1. The Beginning

Series Masterlist

“Under the Covers” wrapped filming and the affair continued. Cooper would come over to my apartment on his free nights, or if his house was empty for some immaculate reason then I would sneak over there. The press tour was even more fun. Traveling to different states for weeks with just Cooper and our press teams. We were able to see each other every single night.

Cooper pushes me onto the minibar, knocking over several bottles in the process. He thrusts into me, suckling on the tender skin of my neck. I moan out loudly, pleasure flowing. “Mhm, that’s right, honey. Sing for me.” He praised as he ruts his cock deeper into me. I hold my arms around his neck, clawing at the back of his shoulders. “Coop, fuck. You feel so good!” I throw my head back, and my core tightens. “That’s it, baby. Let me feel it. Let go.” I look him in the eyes as I release. He smirks, his pace becoming sloppy. He pulls out spraying his hot seed on my stomach. We stay there, catching our breath. I lay my hand on his cheek, pulling him to me. I press a kiss to his lips and nuzzle into him. The warmth would be all I needed in the nights. Thankfully this was not our normal routine, it was better. I have his warmth through the night when normally I was left to spend the late hours alone only with my imagination filled with him.

We dress and settle on the sofa in the room. Silence fills the hotel room. I sit opposite him, notebook in hand, attempting to write a song. The movies were doing just fine, but I could never abandon my passion. “What are you doing all the way over there, huh?” Cooper pulls me by the thigh down the sofa, resting my legs over his. “Trying to write, if you’d excuse me.” Cooper snatches the small notebook and stands, keeping my fighting hands at bay. “Hey! That’s private!” I jump to try and retrieve it, but he skillfully keeps it out of my reach. “Private, huh?” Cooper flips through the pages. “A love song?” I shrug, “I’m trying something different.” Cooper displays a teasing smile on his face, “are you in love, honey?” His warm chuckle stiffened my nerves.

I roll my eyes, sitting back on the sofa, completely avoiding his question. “It’s just for a song. Which reminds me I need to go see Louis. He said he wanted to tour the stadium downtown. Could be a good place to put on my tour schedule next year.” I gather my belongings quickly, continuing to avoid his eye contact. “Honey,” he starts, but I stand and walk to the door. “Darlin’.” Cooper tries again but I grasp the golden door knob. My embarrassment brewing in my chest. I feel tears welling in my eyes, threatening to spill. “(Y/n).” Cooper takes a stride forward, but I quickly twist the knob and exit the room.

I had let myself drift too far into my fantasy. I was falling for him. I could go as far as to say I loved Cooper Howard; and how could I not? He’s charming, considerate, thoughtful, sexy, and one hell of a ride. But that look in his eyes was the realest slap into reality. Cooper was married, and that wouldn’t change.

~

The morning sun rises, burning my tired eyes.

I exit the room quietly, but as soon as the knob clicks, Cooper’s door flies open. He meets my gaze with the same tired expression. “You didn’t come back, darlin’. Thought something might’ve been wrong.” I stare at him, my heart pounding. “This is wrong, Cooper.”

He opens the door further, “Come in and speak with me, please.” With no objection, my feet carry me into his chamber.

Cooper passes back and forth. “Yes, it is. This is wrong. More wrong than anything I’ve ever done in my life.” He pulls my notebook from his pocket, flipping through the scribbles. A doting smile upon his lips and a light blush rose to his cheeks. “but I can’t let you go. I want to be with you, publicly.” His words struck me cold. “Publicly?” The disgusting smile grows on my face. “You’d leave her?” Cooper looks off in the distance, weighing his choices. He grins nodding very softly. “You’re part of me. You understand me. I crave you every morning, and lust for you every night.” He extended his arms for me to fall in. “I can’t be away from you anymore. I can’t breathe when you’re gone. I think of you constantly, (y/n). Just give me time. Once it’s settled, then it’s us.” From then on Cooper agreed to leave Brab.

Time went on and we continued the secret relationship. Was it wrong? Fuck yes, it was. Was I going to hell? Most likely. We were 8 months into filming, a new movie. A Western picture named, The Man From Deadhorse. I wasn’t originally in the cast, but after a meeting with the director, Emil, Cooper was more than happy to relay the news that I would be cast as his love interest.

Cooper and I were more entangled in each other's secrets than one should be, especially since he has a wife. A very nice, beautiful, smart wife. I've met her several times now. She's invited me to dinner at her house. She has asked me to go shopping with her. She called me to get my cherry pie recipe just because Cooper couldn't stop talking about how tasty it was. Barb was a lovely woman, and yet I could not pull myself away from her husband.

Such as now, Barb has called me over for a chat, and I can't help but enjoy myself as I watch Cooper read his paper inside on the couch. The same couch he had me lying down on just a week ago.

His legs lightly spread, his fingers running over the words so lightly. He looks up meeting my eyes and smirks knowingly. It's sickening, but so thrilling, so addictive. Barb exits the house, holding a tray of cocktails. "I hope you like strawberries!" Cooper swoops in quickly and holds the door open for his wife, staring me down, "Oh, she does. Anything sweet." His teasing continues.

Barb sits down at the head of the table, leaving Cooper to sit beside me. "I am so glad you had the time to stop by," Barb leads in conversation.

Cooper slides a drink my way, making sure to brush his fingers against mine. "Me too, it's been so hard to find time to do anything since I took up the cola ads." "I think it's great! You're just the face of that company. A young spunky girl like yourself! I heard they sold more than they did all year once that billboard went up!" Barb laughs sipping her drink. “Yeah! I guess I’m doing something right.”

"That's actually why I asked you here. See, Vault Tech is looking-" She starts, only for Cooper to run his hand over his face with a sigh, "Really, Barb?" It was no secret of Cooper's distaste for Vault Tech. The entire company making money on selling the end of the world was just wrong, and shady. They always kept their information tight.

Barb sends Cooper a small glare before continuing. "As I was saying, we're looking for a model for a project. It's a special bot that would be an assistant in the vaults for the civilians. I just thought you'd be the perfect match. The entire nation loves you." I narrow my eyes at her, "Like a robot? of me? How would that work?" "We have brilliant scientists and engineers who handle the entire thing. You'd just have to show up."

I look to Cooper for some type of advice, but he stays silent. Barb pipes up again. "Coop's doing an ad for them. We've just finished the suits, and he's going to be photographed this coming month." I bite my lip, “I don’t know, I’d hate to take the shine off of, Coop.” I joke pushing his chest.

She pushes further. "It would secure you and your family a spot in the vaults. Cooper mentioned your father was moving out here specifically for the vaults. I could get them on the top list. I would make sure of it." It couldn't be that bad, right? Plus it could be cool to be a part of history in the making. I lean back, sipping my drink. "Who am I to say no to the future?" Barb claps with a smile, "You won't regret this I promise. If you don't mind, I'm going to pop in and phone them the news." She's off without another word leaving Cooper and I seated alone.

He swishes his drink. "Wish you wouldn't have done that, sweetheart." "It's just a job, Coop." "They're going to make copies of you to do whatever in God's name they want. It’s sick." I pat his chest, running a finger down the buttons. "I figured you'd be thrilled to hear they'd be making copies of me. You're always saying how you can't get enough." I rub up his leg with the toe of my pumps. Cooper smirks at me, taking a glance behind him to check for Barb before laying a hand on my thigh. "She should be gone tomorrow evening, Janey is going to a friend's house for a sleepover. How about I cook you dinner?" I sit up, interested. "Cooper Howard can cook?" "Yes, he can," He dips his head to my ear quickly whispering, "and he can eat." a single bite on my ear lobe makes me shutter, the nerves running down my back and lighting my core on fire. "It's a date."

~

It was a lie. I had never made a dish in my life. That is if you don’t count butter on toast. I can make one hell of a slice of toast.

Janey runs around the house gathering all her essentials for her sleepover while Barb finishes piling her documents together. What am I doing? Sitting on the couch rapidly checking my watch. I would have exactly two hours to prepare some type of meal for tonight, and maybe 45 minutes to make myself presentable.

Janey jumps on my lap wrapping her arms around my neck. “I love you, daddy.” I hold her close. “I love you too, sweetheart. Be careful tonight, and listen to everything Becca’s parents say.” She runs off to the door with a holler, “I will!” Barb appears next, arms full of disclosed secrets. “Any plans tonight?” I shake my head, “just some peace and quiet. Maybe a few whiskeys.” She hums with a flat smile. “I’ll be home late.” I nod, “I remember, Barb. Good luck this evening.” I stand, kissing her cheek before relaxing back onto the couch.

The front door shuts and I immediately spring from my spot. I rush into the kitchen pulling the steaks from the fridge. My timing seemed to be off because just as I was shredding the salad I heard five distinct knocks. “Hello?” Her angelic voice calls out. “I parked down the street just in case. Your neighbor did see me though. He’s kinda a creep. I’d watch Janey around him if she’s out.” She rounds the corner and I have to pick my jaw off the floor. “In a dress like that who couldn’t stop and stare?” She crosses the threshold, bringing her body to me like a magnet. “Well, you said it was a date.” “No, you said it was a date.” She tilts her head with a smirk, “Did I? Hm, guess that makes you pretty lucky.” I breathe her in, brushing my nose down her neck, “I would certainly say I am a lucky man.”

Dinner rolls around and surprisingly it doesn’t taste horrible! “I swear, Coop! This is restaurant-worthy! Howard’s Steakhouse.” She laughs sipping her wine.

“I have a gift for you.” Her brows raise at my words. “A gift?” I hum in response, standing from my seat. I retrieve a box from my briefcase. The velvet box was soft in my hands. I rest on the table, next to her chair. She watches me with wild eyes, anticipating every move. “You’re so beautiful, and I just wanted you to have something that was almost as beautiful as you.” I open the box to reveal a pearl necklace with a matching set of earrings. She covers her mouth, gasping. “Cooper, it is gorgeous!”

“Let’s see it on,” I remove it from its case, wrapping it around her neck. My finger kissing the delicate skin, goosebumps arise in effect. I clasp the necklace, peppering the nape of her neck with kisses. “Stunning.”

She turns to face me, taking a stand. Remaining eye contact, she slips one strap off of her shoulder, “your hot tub still working?” I lick my lips, taking a step closer, “it is, darlin’.” She slips the other strap down, her dress threatening to drop to the floor. “Mind if I take a dip?” Those devilish eyes bore into me, leading me into these unforgiving actions willingly. “Oh, no, I think it’s perfect weather.” She smiles widely, her eyes turning dark, lust colored. She drops the dress, gravity pulling it away from her frame.

Clad only in the pearl necklace, she walks outside and steps into the hot tub, sinking in with a relaxed sigh. She raises her brows, “Are you going to join me or you are just going to stand there and eye fuck me like your neighbor did?”

My clothes were dismissed with haste. I pulled her to me drawing circles on her waist. She melted into my touch. She began to reach in between us, wrapping her hand around my hard shaft. I bite my lip rolling my eyes back, "Fuck." I whimper.

She giggles as I fall apart beneath her touch. She was a weakness to my soul. "Are you going to stop wasting time or am I going to have to take over?" I pick her up, legs wrapping around my waist, the tip of my cock gliding against her slit. "I thought you would've learned by now," pressing our foreheads together, I grab my cock and press it against her entrance, "teasing gets you nothing." I turn her around quickly, pressing her front down on the patio, ass in the air for me. I pushed into her, lips spreading into a smug smirk at the look on her face as she gasped and widened her eyes, clawing at the stained wood for a grip.

"Shit Cooper!" She gasps loudly. I press my chest against her back, pressing my cock against deeper. "Scream as loud as you want. I'm sure the neighbors won't mind." I whisper into her ear before slamming into her at full length.

"Holy fuck!" She cries, fingers gripping the edge of the hot tub. I smugly chuckle and dig my fingers into her hips, holding her in place. "It feels so good Cooper, it feels so good." The water around the both of us slushed over the sides. There was no warning, she was close but the shaking of her legs and the cries that fell from her lips was enough indication she was going to tip over the edge. I grunted, my cock twitching. I dug nails into her hips, pulling out the last second, my cum painting her. She whimpers, fingers gripping the edge of the hot tub. "That was amazing." I laughed pulling her up lightly. She was dazed as she pressed against my chest. Her hand caressed my cheek. I kiss her knuckles one by one. "I'll go get some towels," I enter the house retrieving two towels.

Suddenly my smile falls as the front door slams shut. Barb sighs at the front door, a bigger stack of files in her hands than from before she left. I swallow, growing pale. This is it. The moment when our game is played and the real world comes crashing down. “Barb.” I hum. “Hi, honey.” She says, with sleepy eyes and a flat smile. “Hard night?” I ask shaking to the bone. “Going in circles again. I’ll tell you about it in the morning.” She kicks off her shoes and waddles to the bedroom. “Goodnight, Cooper.” She mumbles before closing the door.

Heart pounding, I snatch her dress from the floor and I race outside. “Hey, handsome.” “SHH!” I help her out of the hot tub, wrapping her in the towel. “Barb just got home.” Her face pales and her eyes hold fear in them, “what?” “Yes, so you have to go.” “Yeah, no shit.” She takes the dress from my hands with force. She tosses her hands up, “I guess I’ll just, hop your fence?” Shaking my head I pull her close, gesturing her to be quiet. “I’m sneaking you out the front.” As we tiptoe through the house, the bedroom door opens and Barb stumbles tiredly from to bathroom.

Upon hearing that door shut, I open the front door. (Y/n) slips out silently, stealing a kiss before waltzing down the steps. Her figure faded into the dark of the night, a secret, as did our night under the stars.

[mellybouboulove]

My guardian angel🤍𓆩♡𓆪☁️

Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is my first fanfic :) I'm already working on the upcoming chapters, it's gonna be pretty long.

This is a Drug Dealer Ellie Williams X OFC fic, it's out of universe and takes place in college, it's set in the 2000s.

Chapter 2 , Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapitre 5, Chapter 6, Chapitre 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

Tags: #wlw #sapphic #drugdealer!ellie #modern!ellie #tlou #slowburn #smut #fluff #tlouau #au #modernau

Here's the first chapter <3

First Chapter

It’s October 31st and I have yet to find my Halloween costume for the upcoming party. I was never too fond of parties but my friends have been begging me to join them. I started feeling guilty for not engaging more with the social part of uni, am l wasting my life ?

9pm: My whole wardrobe was covering the floor of my bedroom. I was contemplating each piece I had to find anything that could work as a costume when I started to question if I should even attend. After a couple minutes, I decided to put on a red top and red thighs topped with a blue dress in a desperate attempt to recreate Wendy Torrance’s look in The Shining. By the time I got ready, Emily and Jonathan were here to pick me up. I was already feeling so tired from all the noise. Maybe wasting my life is not that bad after all.

As we parked I could already hear everyone screaming like raging animals. When we entered the house Victoria, one of Emily’s soccer teammates, greeted us and took Emily and Jonathan apart. I felt out of place and decided to head towards the bar to grab a drink. Everyone around me was dancing and smoking. I struggled to breathe and looked around me, spotting the backdoor to the garden. I paved myself a way in the crowd; as I reached the outdoors. I sat and took a deep breath of fresh air watching the sky thinking about my bed.

I started relaxing when I noticed a presence in the corner of my eye. I turned around and saw a girl smoking a cigarette leaning against the wall. She glanced at me and we stayed in an awkward silence for a couple seconds until she finally started talking. 

- Hey, do you mind if I sit here? - Not at all, go ahead. 

As she sits next to me I take a better look at her, I can’t help but notice her attractiveness. She has a cute button nose and small freckles on her cheeks, light green eyes and strands of hair falling in her face. She’s really pretty. She looked up to me and I quickly looked away in embarrassment. She smiled at my reaction.

- What’s your name ? I don’t think we’ve met before. - My name’s Maya Reeves, you ? I asked. - Ellie Williams. What are you doing here all alone? 

- I just needed some fresh air, I lost my friends and the music is so loud. Her face enlightened, then she confessed to me that she didn’t like these parties either.

- What are you dressed as ? I continued.  - What? - It’s Halloween, are you not wearing a costume? - Ohh no no, I hate this kind of stuff.. Are you wearing a costume ?

I got up and turned around to show off my outfit. 

- Duh?! Do you think this is how I normally dress ?? l said.

She chuckled and looked at me up and down admitting something was off. She continued.

- What are you dressed as ? -Wendy Terrance from The Shining. -Ohh cool.. I didn’t see it but you look good. -What!! you really should see it! -I'll keep it in mind, I'll think about you when I do. 

She smiled at me, put out her cigarette in the ash and got up to leave. On her way back, she greeted Jonathan who was coming out of the house. He looked at me surprised. 

-Did you get drug?  -No why? I asked surprised.  -She only ever talks to her clients. -What are you talking about?  -She’s my plug, she’s at every party just to do business.  -Ohh.

I guess she must’ve only talked to me to try to sell me drugs, I’m kinda disappointed, she seemed sweet. Emily noticed how bored and sad I looked and offered me to drink to get in the mood. After a couple drinks I felt better and managed to enjoy the rest of the night. 

Eventually, it was time to go home. Emily and Jonathan were both way too drunk so I took the driver’s seat. The road was dark and my hands a little shaky, my eyes started to close until l suddenly saw two big lights coming right at us and heard loud noises. l realized we just collided with a car.

------------------- To Be Continued..