#i’m still not forgiving andromeda

[wyvernborn]

considering how bioware is now i don’t want that new mass effect

[dragonchicken]

THIS IS A FANFICTION! please 😭 i’ve read all the books and watched all the movies MULTIPLE times. this is not based on canon don’t take it that way please 😆

we all forgive and forget that regulus black took the mark, so let’s talk about the others.

Narcissa never took the mark. She’s the only one in voldy’s circle that DOESNT have the mark.

Andromeda, obviously, did not take the mark. she cut off her family and ACTIVELY fought for the other side.

We all know this. We all love them. What i REALLY want to talk about is Bellatrix Black. I’m using her maiden name for a reason we are getting there.

Bellatrix, like Regulus and Draco, was just a CHILD. she was a KID. we are so quick to villainize Bellatrix Black, but she wouldn’t have known any better. look at who her family is. who the adults that raised her are. she wasn’t taught any better. Bellatrix Black didn’t want the mark any more than Regulus or Draco. Do you think either of those two was screaming “no no don’t.” No. They both took it like it was an honor. So did Bellatrix Black.

Bellatrix Black was a child.

She could not have known. She could not have been old enough to make that decision. Bellatrix Black was forced into that life just like Regulus and Draco.

Regulus found a horcrux. Draco didn’t kill Dumbledore.

Bellatrix didn’t kill Frank and Alice. She was probably ordered to, but she didn’t. She tortured Frank and Alice, yes. But they were still there for their son. Fully? no. but there. Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Frank and Alice.

Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Sirius Black. She hit him with a red streak. the killing curse is green. Bellatrix Black was probably ordered to kill him that night. But she didn’t. Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Sirius Black.

Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Hermoine Granger and Ron Weasley. They were at Malfoy Manner. She could have. She probably should have. but she didn’t. yes, she threw the knife that killed Dobby, but if she wanted to hit Granger or Weasley, she would have. Bellatrix Black did not kill Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

Bellatrix Black did not kill Ginny Weasley. Again, she should have and had plenty of time to before Molly Weasley showed up. But she didn’t. Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Ginny Weasley.

Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Molly Weasley. Molly was a blood traitor and should have been killed on sight. but Bellatrix Black didn’t even try to use the killing curse on her. Bellatrix Black didn’t kill Molly Weasley.

Bellatrix Black didn’t kill. she never did. she never wanted to. she had to have been ordered to on more than one occasion. but she didn’t. Bellatrix Black did not want to be a death eater any more than any other child forced to be one. forced to choose a side. forced to pick family over what they thought was right. Bellatrix Black is a victim of the war, just like Regulus. just like Harry. just like Frank and Alice. just like Draco. Bellatrix Black did not choose her side, her husband, her family, her path. Bellatrix Black didn’t want what was given to her. Bellatrix Black didn’t kill.

[bellamer]

Bioware if you actually have changed to become more diverse and actually treat Davrin as a fully fleshed character with a fully fleshed romance I’ll try to forgive you for the mistake that was Jacob Taylor. And maybe it’ll make Larian try to haul some ass and fix Wyll if BioWare gives Davrin attention and people hype him up. It’s BioWare so I’m not having any high hopes because it took them almost a whole decade to even consider same sex relationships that weren’t made solely for men to jerk off to (let’s face it Andromeda was the only one with good same sex relationship representation and even some of those were subpar, I’m looking at Gil when I say this)

Like I have a running joke that BioWare games have been taking so long because they’re still trying to figure out how to write a black person without them being a stereotype or forgetful and maybe Davrin is their chance to right their wrongs when it comes to black characters and the black people in their fanbase instead of straight ignoring them like Larian is currently doing

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 23 - Tov’s Log

Daiki (41) vs. Khoi (58) -> Khoi Win

————————————————————

Vermillion was dead.

Daiki was dead too.

Tov didn’t know how to feel. Especially about Daiki.

The television started working again before Round 23. Possibly the first sign that the lockdown was coming to an end.

Tov wasn’t sure what compelled her to watch; call it morbid curiosity. But she gave the performance her full attention.

Daiki sang about a vortex of emotion. Truth hidden away in shadows. Fates out of one’s control.

Then.

The music stopped.

A different melody swelled to fill the silence.

And she was singing again.

"In other words, hold my hand~ in other words, darling, kiss me."

"You are all I long for, all I worship and adore."

"In other words, please be true, in other words, I love you."

Daiki was singing for someone.

Just like Tov had sung for Tallis.

She loved someone.

The same way Tov loved Tallis.

How could she fault her for that? For wanting to win — for wanting to live — to stay with that person?

Tov would’ve given anything, done anything, to stay with Tallis.

Perhaps she and Daiki were more alike than she cared to admit.

Maybe they could’ve come to understand each other, under different circumstances.

But Tov would never disparage her opponents. Not in life, and certainly not in death.

The thought of being so flippant about the death of another contestant made her sick to her stomach.

Tov understood what Daiki did for love.

She couldn’t forgive her for her arrogance.

Even still, something small and tender in Tov’s heart broke when the guard shot Daiki straight through hers.

———

The lockdown lifted the next morning.

Breakfast was held in the canteen.

Tov didn’t see Himei yet, so she sat across the table from Lang.

Lang looked up at her with big dark eyes rounded in surprise.

There was so much Tov wanted to ask her about Nyx.

How was he when you last saw him?

Was he scared? Nervous?

Did he laugh or cry?

What was the last thing he said to you?

With only eight contestants left, the room was so much quieter than it had been just a short while ago.

Even if she whispered, the guards would still hear.

So Tov said nothing more than a quiet, “Good morning.”

Lang caught herself, nodding once, “Morning.”

They’d have to talk more candidly later.

Though Tov wasn’t sure how much privacy they would be granted back.

“Morning ladies.” Himei greeted as she took the empty seat next to Tov.

Tov’s spoon, raised halfway to her mouth, clattered onto her tray at the sight of Himei’s face.

New, blooming bruises littered her face. Scratch marks covered both of her cheeks. Her bottom lip was split open.

She sucked in a sharp breath, “Andromedas, what happened to you?”

Himei wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Her collar turned from orange to red.

“It was Noora.” She said quietly.

Tov frowned. “Noora did all of this?” She almost couldn’t believe it.

Noora hadn’t been a violent girl back in Anakt Garden. She was sweet, almost saccharine at times, and bubbly in a way that wasn’t irritating.

Wren reminded her a lot of Noora.

Was someone like that really capable of doing something like this?

If the proof weren’t right before Tov’s eyes, she would’ve said no right away.

“I think she panicked when she realized she’d lost.” Himei said.

She supposed that made sense. You never truly know what a person will do in the face of death until it’s right there in front of them.

But still… something didn’t feel right.

Tov couldn’t help but wonder if Lark played a role in Noora’s outburst.

It was no secret that Tov and Himei were close. Just like it was no secret that Lark and Noora were close.

Could Noora have attacked Himei as revenge?

If Noora thought Tov poisoned Lark, taking him away from her, could she have attacked Himei to take her away from Tov?

“I’ll heal in a few days, Tov.” Himei said, drawing her out of her thoughts. “Don’t worry too much about it.”

You’re one of the only people I have left in my life.

I’m always going to worry about you.

Tov didn’t say any of that. She simply sighed and returned to her food.

———

After breakfast, the contestants were allowed to walk back to their rooms without any escorts.

Not that this provided much in the way of freedom. There were still guards posted at each of the doors on their dorm floor.

As soon as she reached her door, Tov took one look at the guard’s shoulders and knew immediately that they were the messenger.

With breakfast now in a public space, she wasn’t going to get any more notes.

This could be her last chance to find out who was behind the notes and what their motives were.

She needed to act.

The guard stepped aside to allow Tov entry. As she passed by, she noticed a uniform patch stitched on the back of their right arm.

It was white with a green border and a matching green cross in the center.

The guard is a medic.

It figured they would be if they were assigned to her, given her heart condition.

She could use this to her advantage.

There wasn’t enough time to fully flesh everything out, but some semblance of a plan quickly coalesced in her mind.

Tov shut the door, locked it, and set about preparing.

If she wanted to isolate this guard, she needed to get them in her room.

The only way to do that without drawing suspicion was a medical emergency.

Her heart was far too fragile mess with for some information that may or may not be worth the risk.

She would have to fake it instead.

There were two medical alert buttons in her room: one next to her bed and the other next to the tub in her private bathroom.

The bathroom would work the best.

Tov took off her medical band and set it on her nightstand, before going into the bathroom.

She knelt down next to the tub and turned on the faucet, but left the stopper unlatched to prevent any spill over. Tov just needed to get the guard’s attention, not flood the place.

Once she hit the button, she’d only have a few seconds to get in place before the guard came in.

Forcing them to unlock the door first would only buy her a little more time.

No sense in waiting around.

Tov pressed the button and took off, pulling the bathroom door shut behind her. She could already hear the guard working the lock open.

She vaulted over her bed and pressed herself up against the wall just as the guard came in. The door swung all the way open, effectively concealing Tov from view.

Good.

Keep going.

“Subject-020547?” They called out.

Footsteps quickly crossed the room towards the bathroom door.

They pounded on the door three times.

“Subject-020547? I received your medical alert message. I’m coming in.”

As the guard pushed open the bathroom door, Tov quietly pushed the entryway door closed.

The guard still had their back to her, looking dumbfounded at the empty room with a running tub.

They shut off the faucet.

Tov clicked the lock into place.

Perfect.

As if they had a sixth sense for danger, the guard whipped around to face her.

“Tell me everything you know.” She ordered. “Now.”

————————————————————

Oh how the turn tables…

I had way too much fun writing this log lol. I’m only stopping here because it’s already way too long.

Rest in peace to my favorite morally questionable lesbian, Daiki. You picked an absolute banger of a song to go out on 😔👊 (stream Vortex pls, it’s great).

I thought it was fitting to have Tov see some of herself in Daiki, since Himei tried to embody Daiki during her latest performance. Parallels and all that.

I wasn’t sure if anyone other than Daiki knew about Tina, so I kept it ambiguous who Daiki was singing for here.

Tov also caught onto the fact that Noora attacked Himei for a different reason than she’s telling her, but then completely missed the point and blamed herself. *sighs*

Daiki belongs to @daiki1k.

Himei and Tallis belong to @lookatmysillies.

Lang belongs to @pwippy.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Noora and Lark belong to @kamersona.

(Please let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in these posts, I totally understand that I have a tendency to yap… a lot.)

[asnarkyandironicusername]

Day 28 of @remadoramicrofics - Outsider POV

Andromeda Tonks watched as her daughter and son-in-law dressed her grandson for the ceremony. Remus was trying to slip shoes on him, but Teddy was kicking his feet so fiercely that he was only marginally avoiding failure. Nymphadora merely stood by and giggled as father and son wrestled. 

Moments like these spurred mixed emotions in Andromeda. Ted would have loved his grandson, and she missed and mourned him every day. Of course, she still had some hesitancy towards Remus. To his credit, for well over a year now he had been the most attentive husband and father she could ask for her daughter or grandson, but she’d never forget the way Nymphadora had practically rotted in her bed during the week he had disappeared. Nymphadora had been quick to forgive, but Andromeda had made Remus earn her forgiveness; she had to be sure he could take care of her daughter.

Remus had gotten the other shoe on and proudly hefted Teddy into his arms. “Are you ready, Andromeda?” he asked as Teddy messed with the collar of his robe.

���Yes. One day, Remus, you won’t be able to get the upper hand on him so easily.”

“Let’s hope he’s dressing himself by then,” Remus chuckled.

“Wait until he starts walking,” her daughter said as she clapped him on the back before she apparated to the school grounds.

Andromeda followed after her. A few moments later, Remus arrived, Teddy in one hand and a child’s shoe clenched in the other. “A short victory,” he said as he raised the shoe to them. They followed the crowd across the grounds to the large memorial that stood on the horizon. 

When the memorial had been unveiled, it had drawn a crowd every bit as large as this one. It was a marble structure with four columns wrapped in the house colors. Inside, the one room building was filled with portraits of the fallen; Sirius, Ted, and many others filled frames and told their tales. When they had first come, Nymphadora had drug her and Remus and Teddy to Ted’s frame, proudly showing off his grandson before scurrying off to show Sirius and the rest of Remus’s friends.

Today wasn’t a day for catching up, though, she thought as she took mercy on Remus and wrangled the shoe back onto Teddy’s foot. He thanked her with a bashful smile as Nymphadora stared at the crowd. “She’ll be like raising a second child sometimes, Ted was the same way,” she warned him as she eyed him tentatively.

“Oh, she isn’t that bad,” he chuckled. “I don’t have to put her shoes on, and I suppose that some nights after a full moon I’m rather reminiscent of a child.”

Andromeda had seen the way her daughter doted on him after a full moon and she was inclined to agree, but she had also seen Remus, after his impromptu vacation as Nymphadora called it, take care of her daughter through her pregnancy. The meals he’d make just to have Nymphadora turn her nose up almost on a whim, the sick mornings and cranky evenings, she wasn’t certain she’d heard him say no once in those nine months and his attentiveness had lasted well through the birth. When Nymphadora said jump, Remus asked how high.

Like this; Remus had wanted to skip the ceremony, citing general displeasure that he, a werewolf, would receive an Order of Merlin, First Class. Andromeda had to admit she was surprised, but she supposed, personal misgivings aside, he deserved it as much as any of the other Order members. It had been all through the press; at first, he was the only Order member not to receive one, but Harry had convinced everyone else to refuse theirs unless Remus was recognized. He had insisted they were making a big deal over nothing, but eventually the Wizengamot had relented.

When the invitation for the recognition ceremony had come, he had all but insisted that Nymphadora and she come and receive their awards and that he would stay home with Teddy, but Nymphadora wouldn’t have it. At one point, she had told him it would be unfair of him to miss because it would leave her and her mother five awards – Their respectives ones as well as Ted’s, Sirius’s, and Remus’s – to care for and no amount of Remus’s insistence that Harry would want Sirius’s could convince her otherwise. Finally, he had relented and agreed to come.

Ahead of her, Remus shifted Teddy to his other arm to wrap Harry in a hug. He immediately took the boy from his arms. “You’d better not be planning on keeping him forever,” Andromeda teased. For the first week after the war, she was almost certain that he had come over everyday to see the boy, asking Remus and Tonks several times if they were certain that they wanted him to be Godfather.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said as he bounced the young boy.

“Don’t worry, Mum, Remus won't let him get away with it. Think he used to be jealous he couldn’t feed him.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but his reddening cheeks gave him away. “I wasn’t jealous, Dora, I felt bad that you had to get up every time.”

Harry laughed before turning back to the stage. “Think we should get going?” he asked.

Remus watched the officials taking the stage. “Perhaps.”

Harry handed Teddy back. “I’ll come find you after.”

Remus nodded, but his eyes were still glued to the stage, a look of worry creeping over him. The look he got when he wanted to run. Before Andromeda could say anything, her daughter looped her arm through his and tugged them forward. “Oh no you don’t,” she said.

“Hm?”

“There’s no backing out now.”

“I-I wasn’t –”

“Great,” Nymphadora said as she linked her other arm through Andromeda’s, “then let’s get on with it.” Teddy may carry her husband’s name, but she most often saw him in their daughter and her endless love. 

[unwoundcorridors]

prompt #2: selfish

pairing: andromeda/hermione word count: 240

❈ written for @sapphicmicrofics ❈

—

“You know you’re allowed to enjoy a night out, Andy,” Hermione said, hooking her arm through the older witch’s. Their boots made a crunching noise with every step in the snow, and dim lights from lamp posts lit the streets needlessly.

Andromeda breathed in, then exhaled slowly. “It still feels selfish when Teddy throws a tantrum about it.”

As they started to pass under a lamp post, Hermione halted in her footsteps and received an inquiring look from her partner.

“I’m sure when we return, he’ll be too involved with whatever games Harry brought to play to notice us at first, and that he’ll find a new reason to throw a tantrum.” She held one finger up. “Bedtime.”

Letting out a groan, Andromeda shook her head. “Such a reassurance, you are.”

Hermione stepped forward, and she’d be uncomfortably crowding Andromeda if they were only friends. But they weren’t. She leaned up on her feet and kissed the corner of Andy’s lips. “Forgive me. I only mean that he’s barely a toddler, love; he’ll forget and move on. And this is good for him, us being gone for a while. You’re not selfish for leaving him with a trusted babysitter while we have this night out to ourselves.”

With a small noise of acknowledgment, Andromeda turned her head just enough to kiss Hermione fully on the lips. “You’re forgiven,” she mumbled against the skin before sucking lightly on Hermione’s lower lip.

[fritextramole]

in their secondhand smoke

part 1 of an Eric van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

If I Go, I’m Goin ~ Gregory Alan Isakov

This house, she's quite the talker She creaks and moans, she keeps me up And the photographs know I'm a liar

Sweet Hibiscus Tea ~ Penelope Scott

And I am not your protagonist, I'm not even my own

right where you left me ~ Taylor Swift

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies But I'm right where you left me

If You Know That I’m Lonely ~ FUR

Maybe it stays as it's always been Hazy and they see what we can't see Please let me know if you want me around And I'll try my hardest to be good

Matador ~ Minta & The Brook Trout

Go out of your way Or fake it through another day Everything is real Make your peace with whatever you feel The unwilling coalition of characters crowding your thoughts Make too much noise And way too little sense

Everybody Dies ~ Billie Eilish

Everybody dies, surprise, surprise We tell each other lies, sometimes, we try To make it feel like we might be right We might not be alone

feelings are fatal ~ mxmtoon

I'm always sad and I'm always lonely But I can't tell you that I'm breaking slowly Closed doors, locked in, no keys Keeping my feelings hidden, there is no ease I need it to stop and I want to be able to open up

6/10 ~ dodie

I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here Oh I'll just call a taxi (I know that you don't want me here)

Self Care ~ Penelope Scott

Do drugs, have sex, tell your deepest darkest secrets to your friends Post cringe, buy guns, are you done yet? Fuck, not enough, cry a river, smash a cup But it's never ever gonna be enough For the people in the back row, but you still choose to listen Knowing damn well it's really not their decision

Soda ~ Nothing But Thieves

I'm an exception It's hard to accept Because I try to be happy But then I forget

Goodbye Rocketship ~ Maya Hawke

I forgive you, and I thank you, you know all the reasons why I'm sorry and I love you, all we can do is try

Guiltless ~ dodie

You opened a door that a kid shouldn't walk through Oh, but I’m not bitter, I'm just tired No use getting angry at the way that you're wired

xanny ~ Billie Eilish

What is it about them? I must be missing something They just keep doing nothing Too intoxicated to be scared Better off without them They're nothing but unstable

Andromeda ~ Weyes Blood

Lift the heart from the depths it's fallen to We all want something new But can't seem to follow through Something's better than nothing Or so that I thought

Memories Can’t Wait ~ Talking Heads

There's a party up there all the time And they'll party 'til they drop

After Hours ~ The Velvet Underground

Dark party bars, shiny Cadillac cars And the people on subways and trains Looking gray in the rain as they stand disarrayed Oh, but people look well in the dark

They / Them / Theirs ~ Worriers

What if I don’t want something that applies to me? What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything, anything?

Gone for Good ~ Matt Berry

After a whole night of hell Could be night, who could tell? I realize no matter what I display It turns to shit and ends up just the same way

Shine ~ Collective Soul

Love is in the water, love is in the air Show me where to look, tell me, will love be there?

IDK You Yet ~ Alexander 23

How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?

Dear Someone ~ Gillian Welch

Hurry and take me straight into the arms Of my dear someone

Comfort Crowd ~ Conan Gray

I just needed company now Yeah, I just needed someone around Yeah, I don't care what song that we play Or mess that we make Just company now

Home ~ Cavetown

Often, I am upset That I cannot fall in love, but I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Storm Cellar Heart ~ Mutual Benefit

Taking shelter To wait out this inclement weather And when you hold me It's so much better

Soft Place to Land ~ Sam Beam, Jesca Hoop

If you're looking for a soft place to land The calm of a steady hand An unconditional friend If you need to take a moment to catch your breath Come in before you catch your death You don't have to pass a test to come home

[padfootastic]

I have now decided that I’m fully adopting the hc that the entire Black family knew Sirius hadn’t betrayed the Potters but 100% thought he’d killed Peter and those Muggles. I’m also choosing to imagine that there’s a later Order meeting when someone asks Sirius how he’s able to forgive Andromeda for thinking he was a murderer when he’s still slightly icy with the Order for thinking he was the traitor, everyone is eagerly listening in to hear his explanation, only to get hit with “because she at least knew me well enough to know I’d never betray James. She’d met James only once or twice, but she still knew I’d never betray him.” Sirius can get past the murderer belief, especially since he was in fact planning on murdering Peter in POA so it’s not like they were wrong to believe him capable of murder and also he looked bad when he got arrested, but misunderstanding him so badly as to think he’d hand the Potters over to Voldemort? Not so forgivable. Tonks is the only Order member who knew him before he actually likes now (he’s fine with the others that he didn’t know personally as well and of course the kids) since Andy told Tonks what she believed and Tonks, after hearing why her mother thought so, agreed.

I also like to think that the Death Eaters, especially those close to the Blacks, taunt Remus (and some of the other Order members but mostly Remus as Sirius’s old best friend) about this; Remus is dueling Macnair and as Rodolphus fights Kingsley next to him, Rodolphus shouts out something insulting about Remus believing Sirius was the traitor and how Remus clearly never knew Sirius at all, real interesting loyalty Remus has. Bella is “dueling” Sirius (they’re mostly trading non-lethal spells back and forth and talking about what appears to be “darling Cissy’s” 16th birthday party; Kingsley is very confused about what the “Hippogriff incident” is and how it involves the Atlantic Ocean, but Rodolphus emphatically shakes his head and mouths “don’t ask, do not ask” at him so he stifles his curiosity if it can intimidate even a man who endured over a decade in Azkaban) and immediately starts insulting Remus as well, she has literally never gotten past him for believing her cousin to be a traitor, how dare he insult a Black like that. Sirius heaves a long-suffering sigh as he says “Bella, please, calm down” and she doesn’t even look as she waves her hand, stalking toward Remus the entire time like she’s about to tear his head off with one manicured hand, and says “Don’t be silly. Siri, it is my duty as your oldest cousin to defend you, even if you won’t defend yourself. Actually, maybe especially then.” Remus is having a terrible time, and it’s not until about 20 minutes into Bella’s rant about how awful he is that he realizes Macnair has left the room (he also glances around in desperate search of an exit and spots Rabastan in the corner, having not realized what he was walking into and Rodolphus saw him before he could leave again. Sirius is next to him and they’re furiously whispering about something Remus can’t catch. They’re debating about if Bella and Rodolphus would notice if they left, but both tragically believe the answer is yes (they’re right)) (also, Bella’s nails are glittery, similar to Morgan Taylor’s Fame Game shade, only even more sparkly. It is important to me for you to know that. Either she did a spell, she had a House Elf paint her nails, or she found someone willing to give a manicure to an escaped convict, but her nails are painted. It contributes to her intimidation rather than takes away from it. Sirius complimented her on it when they started “fighting” and the Order is really planning on having a talk with him about priorities. Bella thanked him very sincerely) (Bella also immediately called to Rodolphus about “see, my cousin noticed my nails, yet somehow my husband did not.” Kingsley was surprised Rodolphus didn’t give himself a migraine with how hard he rolled his eyes and cautiously went “you good buddy?” Rodolphus quietly said “Freaking Blacks man, the whole family is like this too.” Kingsley nodded but refuses to ask any more questions, he’s heard the stories. Tragically for Kingsley, Rodolphus decided he kind of likes him and passed on that he seems to be a good person to fight when the Blacks are being menaces again, so Kingsley regularly has Death Eaters coming up to fight him and just launching into a rant straight away. Kingsley laments every day that Rodolphus chose him to duel and wishes he’d fought like Jugson or someone)

friend, i want u to know this is my favorite part in this.

Tragically for Kingsley, Rodolphus decided he kind of likes him and passed on that he seems to be a good person to fight when the Blacks are being menaces again, so Kingsley regularly has Death Eaters coming up to fight him and just launching into a rant straight away.

absolutely fucking hysterical

[greatandquestionablecontent]

3 -- In The Mirror I Saw Who You Could Have Been

painful magical healing, energy vampire, captive prisoners, captor POV, military setting I've changed a few things since the last update (Trystan he/him has been changed to Delta they/them, although Delta remains a very Trystan-like character, and is referred to by many other characters as he/him). Part 1. Part 2. Read it on AO3. Masterpost. @for-the-love-of-angst you asked to be tagged in updates of this!

Thankfully, they were still alone with the prisoners when their body was finally able to cry. They doubted Archel Constance would have taken kindly to them shuddering and weeping and whimpering. It wasn’t very becoming of an experienced and powerful war mage, was it?

Did the others usually bear this silently through sheer willpower? Did they use their magic to tamper down their own reactions? Or did they all cry, and they did it alone or the legends had simply never mentioned it?

Delta had never thought to ask, and Andromeda had not been focused on teaching them not to cry. She wasn’t cruel like that.

Eventually Delta’s sobbing dwindled out and they were able to grasp some kind of composure.

The prisoners didn’t dare mock them for it. If Delta’s display of weakness had any effect on the prisoners, they kept that private. They did, however, start begging almost as soon as Delta sat up.

There were two, both young, muscular, military men with strong northern accents, stripped down to their dusty underwear, chained together and staked to the ground.

Like goats awaiting slaughter. Their voices blended together in a miserable chorus.

Please, sir, please have mercy, please don’t hurt us, please let us go, please be kind to us, please kill us quickly if you must, please sir, we’ll do anything.

“Stop,” Delta rasped, their voice sounding exactly as awful as they’d expected. Clearing their throat did nothing but send a fiery burn through their diaphragm, but the men immediately silenced.

Sitting up hurt, speaking hurt, but everything had hurt for so long that it didn’t matter now. Maybe that was the secret to the endurance of the N’Vitri – eventually you simply accepted the pain and moved forward, even if you could never get used to it.

“Where are we?” Delta whispered.

One of the men hesitated, but the other answered promptly. “In the foothills, sir. On the east side of the mountains,” he added when Delta simply stared at him. “At, uh, Camp Marshal, sir. The –- the Raj Nacht basecamp?”

Perfect. Not the way they’d wanted to arrive at the basecamp, but satisfactory nonetheless.

“How long was I out?”

“The battle was two days ago, sir.”

“Yes, sir,” the other man agreed. “We were brought in yesterday and you’ve been…” He trailed off. It didn’t really need saying.

“What’s the date? And stop calling me sir. Please.”

That didn’t relax the prisoners, but they obeyed without question. Delta peppered them with as many mundane questions as they thought they could get away with for someone who had been unconscious, and then a few more, that presumably they ought to have known already.

The prisoners were perfect sources of information, in a way. It wasn’t like they would rat Delta out, and soon enough they would be dead.

“What’s my rank?”

They exchanged a glance. Were ranks even something enemy soldiers would be aware of?

“N’Vitri?” One of them tried.

“A-archel, sir?” Tried the other. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t — Archel, please forgive —”

Delta shook their head, letting their weary eyelids fall shut for a moment. They were tempted to tell the prisoners to calm down, but they couldn’t promise anything, and the prisoners were unlikely to trust anything a N’Vitri said anyway.

Delta supposed they would have to kill the prisoners, sooner than later. They didn’t relish the idea.

“How many other N’Vitri are there? Are they all the same rank? What are their names?”

“I think Archel is the mage title,” said the man who seemed to know more. “I don’t know anything else, Archel.”

Great, a new title instead of sir. Not what Delta had intended. “Who was the woman who was in the tent earlier?”

Both men shook their heads. “Another N’Vitri, Archel,” the other mumbled.

“And who was the man?”

“His name plate said Larsen, Archel. That’s all I know.”

Delta nodded, considering, stringing together their thoughts through the fog in their brain. “While I was unconscious, how have you felt?”

The men exchanged another wary glance with each other. “Fe — could you… rephrase the question, please, Archel?”

Delta could have laughed. They didn’t. “Have you been growing weaker? Were you in pain? Could you feel something draining your energies, at all?”

Another question any true N’Vitri should have known the answer to. Hesitantly, wordlessly, the men nodded.

So, somehow, in Delta’s state of limbo between undeath and consciousness, they’d managed to successfully harvest the prisoners’ internal energy to heal themself, another autonomic magical process they couldn’t control. They suspected somehow they were even doing it still, to a lesser extent.

Delta could see the force in the men more easily with closed eyes. It wasn’t quite like smell, or sight. It was like reaching out in the dark towards something warm, and their mind wanted to ascribe colors to that heat.

They’d never killed someone before. Or rather, they had, of course they had, but that was before Andromeda.

Delta opened their eyes to find both prisoners staring, frozen in terror. A sound of pain escaped Delta’s throat as they scooted closer, but they ignored it and pressed their fingers to one man’s warm bare chest, closing their eyes again so they didn’t have to face that awful expression.

There. Now they could truly feel it. It wasn’t heat, or smell, or sight. It was proprioception, the way they knew where their wrist ended and their hand began, they knew where their fingers ended and another being began. And inside that being, they could feel those channels of energy more clearly than ever before, and oh, those veins were begging to be cut open, leaking and ready to burst.

It wasn’t proprioception or touch or smell or sight. It was taste, a taste like just a morsel placed on their tongue, but they couldn’t chew or swallow or take more of it, even though they craved, desired, lusted…

This was what they’d expected coming into their powers would feel like, beyond the stifling safety of Andromeda’s guidance. They’d always known it would never be the same as tapping into what she gave to them of herself, doled out carefully and slowly so it didn’t destroy her. As grateful as Delta was for her sacrifice, the scraps always left them feeling hungry and itchy, and some days every human they passed seemed like a tempting target. Of course, they could never have told Andromeda that.

Thanks so much for ripping your life force out of your body to feed to me. By the way, whenever your friends and family walk by, I think about murdering them.

But now, here was that hint of raw power, a magic only a handful of individuals in the world could wield. If — no, when — Delta tapped into it, they’d always known it would be intoxicating, overwhelming. It would heal every hint of their pain and fill their body with bliss and they would glow with ecstasy and strength, enough to take out an entire battlefield of armed soldiers, all alone.

And these bound, petrified men would be screaming and thrashing as Delta ripped all that life from their bodies, until there was no energy left to scream and they collapsed, their last breaths silent. All that would be left were lifeless husks, bearing no wounds but sapped more thoroughly and efficiently than if Della had drained them of blood.

And Delta wanted it. Fuck, they wanted it more than they’d ever wanted anything.

No wonder the prisoners were so afraid. No wonder the very idea of the N'Vitri sparked fear in everyone who spoke of them, even Andromeda herself.

next

[violetthistle1]

Charlie hung back and let Andromeda through next. Her stride was slow and steady, leading straight to her younger cousin, Sirius. He closed the distance between them and they embraced. Sirius’s tears finally released, and Andromeda’s cheeks were wet as well. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered in his ear. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, that I didn’t do more to help you.” She continued.

“Shh, don’t–” Sirius whispered back. “You didn’t know, how could you know? It’s ok.”

“Forgive me.” She begged, still holding him tightly.

“There's nothing to forgive,” Sirius answered immediately. 

****

Dignity be Damned, chapter 36: Redemption, excerpt (2)

Chapters 1-36 are available on Ao3 now!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555698/chapters/133307677

[andromedaexists]

History of the English Language final is submitted

On the one hand: I did not write what I said I would write and I also did not meet the minimum length requirement or really touch on anything important.

On the other hand: i am going to fucking lose it if i have to spend any more time writing this stupid fucking story. like, this is genuinely making me realize just how much i need to actually care about something in order to write ti because this is actual torture and i hate every second of it

what did you think I wasn't going to share it? rude. Also yes, I did use myself as a character because no one knows that it's me and it's easiest to get into my own brain given the fact that I am me. here ya go:

I’m not sure how I ended up here. Last I remember, I was researching the linguistic differences between Middle English, Early Modern English, and Present Day English. I had laid my head to rest on the desk in front of open copies of The Canterbury Tales, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and ΔΆΙΟΣ for just a moment, desperately trying to ease the throbbing pain in my head. But now I’m sitting in a dark room in front of three people that I recognize from my studies: Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Andromeda. The authors whose books I’m using in my research.

They look just as surprised to be here as I am, their wide eyes and shocked expressions no doubt a mirror to my own. 

The confused silence is broken as Andromeda asks, “What?”

[Insert Middle English version of “What is this insanity?”] Chaucer says, moving as if he wanted to flee but could not figure out where he could go.

Shakespeare’s eyes never left mine. He’s the first to calm down, saying, “This is a dreameth, is't not? Oh, this wouldst maketh a wond'rful st'ry.”

I smile, my eyes crinkling at the corners. This, though a fabrication of my own subconscious mind, is an amazing opportunity. I have three people in front of me, each speaking a different form of the language I am studying. I must learn what I can from them.

“It will make a wonderful story,” I agree. Andromeda and Chaucer look back at me when I speak, though Chaucer still looks lost. His form of the language is the most different, more of a mixture of what we now know as German, Latin, and English. I wish for a way to make him understand, and then I remember that this is a dream. “But first, we have to know what story we are telling.”

This time, as I speak, the confusion falls away from Chaucer’s face and understanding replaces it. 

“I think we all understand each other now, no?” I ask. The authors agree, we are all able to understand one another. “Awesome, let’s test it out. Do all of you know the Lord’s Prayer?”

Another round of agreement follows before I turn to Chaucer and ask him to say it.

“Oure fadir that art in heuenes, halewid be thi name; thi kyngdoom come to; be thi wille don, in erthe as in heuene. Yyue to vs this dai oure breed ouer othir substaunce, and foryyue to vs oure dettis, as we foryyuen to oure dettouris; and lede vs not in to temptacioun, but delyuere vs fro yuel. Amen."

I take special notice of the pronunciation. It is one thing to read Middle English on paper, but another thing entirely to hear it spoken. The words flow from Chaucer’s mouth much better than they ever have from mine when trying to read and reconstruct the language in my mind. 

Then, Shakespeare.

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."

And finally, Andromeda.

“I learned it as the Our Father, but it’s more or less the same as that guy’s,” he says, pointing to Shakespeare. “Or would you rather I say the non-Roman Catholic version?”

“There’s a difference?” 

“Yeah, I’ll do that one. Our father in heaven, we honor your holy name. We ask that your kingdom will come now. May your will be done on earth, just as it is in heaven. Give us our food again today, as usual, and forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Don't bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil One. Amen."

The shock I feel at the words must be plastered on my face, as Andromeda responds, “Yeah I don’t like it either. I grew up saying the older version and it just feels right to me.”

Before I can ask the authors anything else, the room starts to fade. A ringing echoes through my mind–my phone is ringing!

I wake with a start, the three texts still laying before me and my phone going off next to them. The number scrawled across the screen is my academic advisor’s, probably checking in on me to see if I’ve had any luck with my studies.

[alphrdblck]

Her husband was still skeptical of him. Alphard couldn’t fault him much for that; it wasn’t as if their family had ever given Ted a warm welcome. It wasn’t a surprise when he opened the door, regarded Alphard as a wary alliance, and then made himself scarce. Alphard knew he was lurking somewhere nearby, no doubt prepared as always to step in if he threatened his niece. It didn’t bother him. Alphard understood. That Andromeda had found someone to love her was all that mattered, and he knew how strange it was for him to show up unannounced. He kept a comfortable distance from their family since before Bellatrix had been born, to say nothing of the rest; stepping in to help Sirius and the gifts sent to Andromeda for herself and her child had been the most he had risked. Safer for the children for him to stay away; Walburga and Cygnus were unhinged enough. But he had gone. It wasn’t simply a war anymore, no somehow that had ended, and things were more confusing and dizzying than Alphard could ever remember. And so, he had gone to check in on his niece. Her family. The home he always knew the location of, kept hidden away from anyone who might try and get it out of him. “Andromeda,” Alphard smiled softly, the same look he always had for this niece in particular in his eyes as he rose from her couch when she walked in. “I should have written beforehand. I apologize for just dropping in, it’s - well, I’m a sentimental fool who missed his niece. Forgive me, please.” 

@ndrmdtnks​

[impishtubist]

Remus believing Sirius was the traitor for 12 years is still annoying me so I’m going to rant in your inbox. Presumably, Sirius’s relationship with his relatives didn’t deteriorate as badly as it did until Hogwarts since he doesn’t really have a lot of chances to go out and be a blood-traitor until Hogwarts when he befriends James and everything, so Remus pretty much had a front row seat to Sirius turning his back on what his family believed. He’s friends with Sirius when Sirius leaves Grimmauld and gets disowned, since that happens when Sirius is 16 so 5th/6th year, Remus is very aware that Sirius rejected blood-purity. Sirius explicitly links his leaving to their beliefs by saying something along the lines of “I hated the whole lot of them—my parents with their pureblood mania and their belief that to be a Black made you practically royalty” (I don’t have the book in front of me and I don’t have the line memorized), so either Sirius just never spoke about his home life and his friends got the shock of a lifetime when he ran away or Remus was completely aware that at least part of Sirius leaving stemmed from his hatred of their beliefs. This is relevant to the First War since those same beliefs were the basis of the Death Eater movement, the entire ideology of the Death Eaters is that purebloods are better than everyone and non-purebloods are filthy, so Remus really did see Sirius turn his back on everything the Death Eaters believed in and still believed that Sirius was really the spy the entire time. I can maybe buy believing Sirius killed Peter and the 12 muggles, the entire sequence of events there was fairly damning and Sirius did not come out of it looking good, but betraying James and being a spy the entire time? Really? Remus never once thought about how Sirius had left his home at least partly because of how much he despised blood purity and it made no sense for him to work for the Death Eaters? Nobody asked anything about that? The other Order members that knew Sirius at school also would’ve been aware he was disowned and I find it hard to believe that his hatred of his family’s beliefs would’ve been a secret, since odds are the junior Death Eaters at the very least would’ve been insulting him over it. Did they all think Sirius had been lying the entire time they knew him or something? The more I think about this, the more annoyed I get

All Remus-related rants are always welcome in my inbox <3

Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating! Like you, I completely understand Remus and everyone else believing Sirius killed Peter and the 12 bystanders. You're right that he did not come out of that looking good! But Remus believing that he could have betrayed James? Believing that Sirius has been running a long con like that since he was 11 years old? Yeah, that's super frustrating!

And not just Remus, but EVERYBODY believing it. I know fandom likes to cast McGonagall as Sirius's mother figure and I've seen fics written where she takes him under her wing after POA, but really? You want him to have a mother figure who believed without a doubt that he betrayed James Potter? You think Sirius would forgive that? Or that he would reconcile with Andromeda so easily, after she also believed him to be a traitor?

Honestly, the only person post-POA who has Sirius's best interests at heart and who actually cares about him is Harry 🥺

[druidx]

Find the Word tag

Tagged by @sleepyowlwrites, TY!

Tagging back: @aalinaaaaaa @thewriteflame @wildswrites @aquadestinyswriting @artdecosupernova-writing @autumnalwalker @blind-the-winds @eli-writes-sometimes @hannahcbrown @oh-no-another-idea @rhikasa @swordsoulwrites @winglesswriter @andromeda-grace @writingmaidenwarrior

Your words are: Rack, Vehicle, Trust, Scan

Once again, getting the motivation to edit The Flipside, from my original series The MOW Files, by doing Find the Word games. Only a few from this one sadly.

Smirk

“Well done,” [Tana] said. “I enjoyed watching you two creeping around my ship, thinking you were out-smarting me.” Asuka holstered her weapon and glared at the woman. “Oh shut up,” she said. “I knew you were setting us up.” “Uh, ladies?” Gurn said, his weapon still pointed at the woman. “Someone care to explain what the frack is going on here?” Asuka harrumphed and moved away towards the window. “You can put the pistol away, G,” she said. “This is Tana Papowski. She's an old schoolmate of mine.” In direct contravention to the suggestion, Gurn raised the pistol again. Tana raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m sure you will forgive me, lady,” he said with a half-cocked grin. “But I've learnt the hard way Asuka's schoolmates are not to be messed with. I’m keeping my weapon right where it is, thanks.” Tana smirked. “Well aren’t you interesting,” she said, stepping around to get a better look at Gurn. “Wherever did she find you?”

Smart

(See above)

Smell

“Then you leave me with little choice,” she said standing. “I have to know. I shall dig and dig until I get to the truth.” “'Zuka, please. Don’t do that,” Teodore said, rounding the table. “It isn’t necessary.” “Yes, Teo, it really is. I have to know.” “What? So you can tell Tana? Please. Even she doesn’t have that strong of a hold over you.” He was standing so close Asuka could still smell the scent of sex on him, even underneath the soap. She felt the pull towards him again, as Teodore reached out to embrace her. Asulka forced herself to step back. “I have to know!” she said again, looking away.

Smoke

Sincere

Sour

[caffeine-faerie]

I’ve been playing dragon age veilguard all week to cope with… well *gestures at everything*

I’m having fun! I like my Rook (purple hawke 2.0), I like the companions, and while there’s definitely some criticisms/annoyance I have with what they left out from other games, if I don’t think about it too hard, I enjoy it.

I was pretty worried when I got it that I wasn’t going to enjoy it and it was gonna be absolutely terrible, but I think i’m just more forgiving than most I guess? IDK. I think after playing WoW for 10+ years and falling out of love w/ that game and how they directed the story I’m just… tired. Like yeah I can still criticize a piece of media and see the issues in it, but I’d rather just focus on what I enjoy.

Then again, I also didn’t hate Mass Effect: Andromeda, either. I actually liked it and while it had it’s issues, I’m still annoyed Bioware just abandoned it.

Maybe I’ll post pictures of my Rook later, idk

[angelbunny666]

https://instagram.com/psychojizz

Twas good, flowstyle in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost, apologize in advance- sorry God for all the sins of the past and the reruns, I’m fornicating in my lucid dreams yesterday, flowstate meditating on a cosmic cloud in homeostasis, regenerating, I’m so bored of whores hesitating to speak the blink of an eye regurgitating what they had for dinner last night like wtf this that #pukeart coming back like the ages of the past resurfacing as the Holy Trinity doeszzz… my mistake, I ran with the error thank God for automation, I’m not sure if I’ve figured the proper tactics for manipulating these meditative technologies into my utmost highest and best reality, baby please, the fornicating can wait can we please get to diamond rings and higher states likes BEEN STATED. Word. Shut up. I observe you and kiss the innards of your tongue. Fun. Sum it all up with some hot Cajun seasoning baby I found a Burberry blanket made of Blueberries with your name on it was stitched with my blood and love I had for another trick and slut, hooker/pimp from way back. I’ve never written like this and feel I must confess it. I hope it’s not animalistic. They recommended just writing whatever comes to mind but to me it feels like letting yourself shit blicks and bricks of chorros/churros after allowing yourself to eat uber gluttonous. Meow ‘mor, I hurt your soul mother I’m sure, I’m sorry to you like I’m sorry to God and I move on to doing chores. I can’t even see the image that was supposed to be the vessel for my words, just my profile pic w the rainbow electric posts minimized to my left as I type! I got a few other in mind like that which I just posted about some anime chicks looking rather metal and fine, aesthetically pleasing tho peculiar and becoming trendy possibly losing the charm it had initially- like when you got fucked 3(3•3) times… Penda bitch had her paws on every mammalian in tact with her eyesight had her going EXTINCT. Chink. Wink. Only I would get the memo, guess that’s why they said let go and let flow with the words in the thoughts til u realize the animal POR DENTRO. Yo, i spoke Spanish and forgot I was a poet, blessed I be and sometimes unknowing. Thank God, woke up with an erection massive like Highest of Everest was, destroyed it with my manliness and made better creation. Andromeda with a new bitch from Argentina, she’s no dog so forgive my language, found her in the cut speaking Spanglish, had to test the variety and I got to bangin in the spaceship speaking Chinese Jap and Korean, mamacita got higher when I told her I liked her eyes and saw a mother, proper, in her. Graphic. Censored. Insemination & Procreation. Had to find the proper outlet while balancing morals, ethics, virtues, known of like old and new, as I try to practice teachings that came of the moment like just the other night. Testing testing, need proof, teaching false or teaching truth?

It was true i just misinterpreted the lesson and got lost due to my own “sin” FOR LACK OF BETTER WORD -_-

I think this was and is supposed to be private, yet I will still publish it - …

This has been a Psycho Jizz Production.