#i’m mentally ill i apologize
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HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY EVERYONE!!!!
even if you’re alone (don’t y’all me too)
either way have a good day!!!
#valentines day#16 almost 17 years with no valentine LETSS GOOO#hope yall got some candies or gifts!!!#at least it’s giyuu’s month#i’m mentally ill i apologize#you guys i’m actually not well in the head#i think my neurons are diverging….#yolo tbh#makes more sense now that i think about it
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“Take my right eye.”
“Excuse me?”
“Since I’ve already staked it once.”
…
“If you lose one of your eyes, won't your combat ability deteriorate? Why would you take such a loss because of me?"
"If I had to choose, I'd choose you, Han Yoojin-gun."
#ARE YOU PICKING UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN WITH THE EYE METAPHORS#(im mentally ill)#also yall. please ignore the fact that this trend is like six months old.#and also??? was like exclusively a trend on tiktok rather than here but the tiktok tsctir fandom is ABYSMAL#so i’m chucking this baby into the void#first (roughly.) rendered piece ever as i figure out how to function digitally which i hope explains the drastic art style change#which may only seem drastic to me idk (can you tell i’m nervous posting this lol)#anyways uh something something OLD MAN YAOI !!#except neither of them are old#so i guess it’d just be…man yaoi#tsctir#the s classes that i raised#han yoojin#sung hyunjae#sctir#s classes that i raised#my s class hunters#jinjae#vaguely liverleaf because of crossover reasons#my art#CW BLOOD#JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO TAG THAT I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE
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I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”
#it’s soooooo easy#‘hey that thing you said was kind of insensitive’ -> feel awful and apologize immediately ->#try to explain that I’m a flawed human being in hopes that they don’t hate me as much -> realize I’m using it as an excuse -> feel worse ->#want to explain that I feel bad in hopes that it makes my apology sound genuine -> realize if I do I’m starting a pity party ->#Devil on my shoulder says that I SHOULD start a pity party bc then people have to console me even though I’m the one who fucked up ->#realize that if the devil on my shoulder thinks that that some part of me must think that. thinking that is kind of terrible ->#feel like I’m terrible -> start crying -> realize that crying will turn it into a pity party anyway ->#realize that I don’t want to feel like I’m terrible. that I do actually want people to console me -> realize I don’t deserve it ->#admit that I am truly horrible for trying to turn my fuck up into a way to make people comfort me ->#post about it on tumblr to vent (?) -> realize now I’m starting a pity party in front of almost 8k people ->#realize that makes me even worse. -> break down in tears feeling sorry for myself when. again. IM the one who fucked up#repeat at and slight inconvenience or mistake. feel like a piece of shit forever :)#it’s a flawless system. if someone sees me struggling and tries to console me I can redirect that to confirm that I’m a horrible person#try and tell myself that I’m spiraling bc of mental illness -> that’s an excuse ->#excuse = horrible person bc I’m not willing to own up to my mistakes -> return to spiral
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Can I come over and do yard work while you sip a lemonade and gaze at me longingly
#art#digital art#my art#illustration#fallout new vegas#fallout#fallout yes man#fnv oc#fnv fanart#yes man fnv#fnv courier#oc x canon#I’m so fucking Ill MENTALLY#I sincerely apologize for so much zephman content recently.#I don’t even like these guys (lie)#text is from a silly meme :p#kelp
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Breaking news: the sky is blue
(Further stats under cut)
#not TWO hades songs being on my top five 😭#also can I just say I’m super surprised that epic the musical didn’t get a MENTION like ANYWHERE?????#I genuinely thought it would be there somewhere but it’s radio silence#my deepest apologies to jorge rivera-herrans I will be sending you $100 in the mail to compensate for my misgivings#probably because spotify is one of two places I listen to music#I download music for whenever I’m not home because fuck spotify premium#tbh I thought this would be more mentally ill#maybe I’m getting better! (I am not)#anyways#spotify wrapped
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i don’t know what i’m doing wrong
am i really that unloveable?
undesirable?
i’ll never be enough, no matter how hard i try
there is just something soul crushing about knowing that you will be alone
like you always have been
#ughhhh#ripping my hair out#I can’t do this anymore#like i will never have a stable group of friends that care#or a relationship#nothing at all#sometimes i think I should just give up#tbh#i know i’m not super pretty but is it that bad that no one will even go near me.#?#why am i repulsive#sorry for being back with the depressing content#i apologize#i am depressed#i am crying#vent#rant#personal#bpd#mental health issues#mental illness#my words#i hate how things will never change#what did i do to deserve this#liesmultixxx talks 🩵
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were all just mentally ill about rei and i love it lmaooo
Yeah lmfaoooo like. Gosh dang. I think it’s just us three Rei fans against the world atp 😭🙏
#polar’s asks#edgymcfries#answered#I frankly don’t mind. and honestly with my busyness from school. it’s nice to be able to read these thoughts. or think about the silly yk#deeply poignant or philosophical thought. and it’s about Rei lmfao you know? like it’s nice to be able to apply any skills of analysis from#English class and apply it I guess#like hubris—and Volo. his ‘tragic flaw’ his pride taken to the extreme. causing such a disturbance that he goes against the gods themselves#A mere mortal playing God HIMSELF! that Arceus sends off some random kid to take care of. volo’s foil. (idk if Rei truly is that since it’s#been a moment since I’ve played pla. shushhhh). and how Rei was the very thing (as mentioned before by pecha) protecting their world from#utter destruction and ruin—being replaced by a better world. but who’s to say this would’ve even been ‘better’ who’s to say it wasn’t an#excellent excuse for Volo to have a power trip#manipulating the anger and frustrated emotions of giritna and the small instability the world was in. etc etc etc. there’s so much to be#said about these characters…#AND YET…. I can’t focus on getting started on Oedipus the king notes 😭🙏#so yeah. a weeeeee bit mentally ill. apologies for the late reply btw…. I twas napping. also sorry for yapping in the tags. I’m mentally ill
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Ppl when you disclose you have a mental illness 👍 ppl when you exhibit symptoms of mental illness 🤯🤯🤯🤯
#blehhh#and then I apologize for it#likeeee I shouldn’t have to. I can’t control how my brain works but#I apologize for everything lmao UGHHH#vent tw#ppl when the mental illness is ‘I want to die’ and not#‘uwu I’m mysterious sad girl 🥺’#SORRY UGH LOL#having a brain is exhausting. what’s going on in head
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Sorry for making fun of you for being an ex prostitute i didn't mean it and im genuinely happy for you im a whore myself i suck dicks for a McDonald's meal i thought you were talking down to us whores im so sorry it was an insecure moment
Well since you sent the same ask twice, i’m just gonna say this: i DEFINITELY would’ve killed your ass too when i popped off last year lmao
#004#okay i’m over it apology officially accepted#i get it I’m mentally ill and have insecurities too
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its me john printer. im proud of you for the email thing. gmail dot com or any other email platform is in truth a realm of darkness, and one that you were able to traverse today. some people give up and submit to that darkness with "ai tools", but you are not one of them and thats already pretty dope i think.
thank you john printer. i do my best o7
#ask#anon#tempted to start tagging u as#john printer#bc i think that’s fun. and you are continuing to appear#so . welcome to the tagged asker zone#anywho. thank you very kindly. i am a guy with mental illnesses and have been through some Shit in the past few months#so i get overwhelmed real easy at the moment#but i’m out here trying !!! and doin what i can !! and people are very patient with me which is a relief#and i very much appreciate when kind folks like you. who have no obligation to be kind to me#take the time to offer words of support like this#it may be a little thing but to me it’s the little things that matter most. so thank you for making me smile <3#apologies if that was a bit too real for your comfort. i’m very easily touched by simple shows of human compassion
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Not all of my attributes need labels!! It’s okay to just be a human!! Humans are weird, I can be weird without giving my every weirdness a name!!!
#I’m so tired of labels#I have to make myself digestible to others#mental health#mental illness#no label is personalized enough to fit perfectly and also broad enough to fit multiple people#yes I may have been acting out of adhd but I was also just being mean and I need to apologize#can I just exist#no labels
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when i click on nagito to talk to him i’m actually giving him a little kiss bc i love him and also as an apology bc the writers screwed him over
#“he’s cRaZyYy!!11!1”#no u idiot he has dementia and can’t process emotions and stress well#he doesn’t know how to deal with a LITERAL MURDER GAME and i don’t think anyone else would either that’s why hes losing it 24/7#its on sight spike chunsoft#anyway he and teruteru got absolutely destroyed by the writing and i want to formally apologize to them both#sdr2#nagito komaeda#nagito sdr2#sorry about the probably odd wording of the tags i’m just very upset they turned his mental illness into the thing that made him evil#even tho canonically he doesn’t actually mean to be rude and angry most of the time bc of that same mental illness
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i finally watched tristamp!! refer to the picture under the cut to understand my complete thoughts and feelings :)
#my friend came over the other day. realized i never watched tristamp. yelled at me. and came back yesterday to force me to watch w her.#we finished it today and are now even more mentally ill about this franchise than we were before.#there are so many thoughts i cannot articulate bc it’s all screaming. but i really liked this show the choices they made were different but#they worked out w the way they want to take the story. i will say though i miss feral vash. his self sacrificing kindness broke me in#this version. it really hurts in the manga too but like he’s just. so deeply sad.#and he tries so hard not to show it but he’s also not very good at hiding it#he’s good at hiding it in the older versions and i think that when he does break after holding it in for too long#the emotions are so raw. and they hurt so bad.#in tristamp those hidden feelings aren’t hidden so the sadness lingers in every scene you know. drove my friend and i insane actually#i’m looking forward to see how they show him growing w his emotions in the second season!!! eriks is coming!!!!!!!!! my most favorite dude!#apologies for the rant there is a lot on my mind LOL if there are mistakes ignore them i am but a little guy#trigun#tristamp
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it’s so not fair depression has real life consequences
#writing an assignment i should’ve finished two weeks ago#and then i didn’t and my anxiety woke up so instead of just writing it a few days later i pretended it didn’t exist#but i have the seminar tomorrow so i need to finish this#and i’m so embarrassed and ashamed bc i don’t have a good reason why i didn’t do it before#other than. being depressed and sad and anxious#but that’s not really an excuse you just sound like a baby when you try to tell someone that#destigmatized mental illness my ass#tbf i don’t think the professor will care too much but i just feel like an asshole#it’s 4am i should finish this before 5#the worst part will be the email tho bc i don’t know what to write and how to apologize
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The fact Scary has reasons behind her actions don’t justify them or stop them from causing harm and I think she needs to take responsibility in a way that doesn’t shift the blame or victimize herself or else she won’t ever truly grow tbh.
#I think it’s fun thinking about why she’s like this tho#and yes I know she IS a victim#of Willys shit#but in the same way mental illness can cause bad actions#and he can as well#despite any influence she’s under#it doesn’t mean she didn’t DO anything#it doesn’t make her harm not hurtful#and if her eventual apology has any ‘I didn’t know better’ ‘he was just..’ ‘I was hurting so..’#I will scream#if she victimizes herself in an apology I’ll lose my mind#someone could say ‘hey kill this persons pet or I’ll kill your mother’#and I’d do it#and the reason would be so perfectly sound#but I would sTILL APOLOGIZE DEEPLY FOR THE PAIN I CAUSED THAT PERSON#yk?#ok anyways#I’m rambling I just#dndads s2#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers
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Was considering adding a question in the doc like can I still join the zine if I don’t like mod ivq? Like yes I will have no quarrels w u inside the zine if u also want to make this one cool thing for the fandom together I’m willing to set aside any differences . U can join and do whatever u want if u are ok w me being the mod and respecting the rules
#I am aware. that I’m not a rly likable person#due to reasons#and I was mean when I could’ve been kind#I did overreact on a number of things bc of mental illness and shit#which is still shitty behavior#but apologies aside I’ll try my best to be kind abt the zine#mine
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