#but in the same way mental illness can cause bad actions

[nick-close]

The fact Scary has reasons behind her actions don’t justify them or stop them from causing harm and I think she needs to take responsibility in a way that doesn’t shift the blame or victimize herself or else she won’t ever truly grow tbh.

[dykedvonte]

I beg people in the MW to think very carefully when they talk about mental illness and physical disability cause it’s not as straight forward and easy to diagnose/depict as you think…

[cry-ba-bys]

YOU'RE AN ANGEL I'M A DOG OR YOU'RE A DOG AND I'M YOUR MAN YOU BELIVE ME LIKE A GOD I DESTROY YOU LIKE I AM

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Ruinous Fixation // Stalker!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader || MODERN AU.

Valentine's special 💕

Summary: Aemond had been stalking you for a while after an encounter with you in the past, when you found out, you should've been creeped out and called the police, but you didn't, he intrigued you, and so, you pursued him.

WARNINGS: mdni, dark themes, stalker!aemond, afab!reader, unprotected p in v sex, cunnilingus, oral (f. receiving), body worshipping, teasing, masturbation (m. & f.), fingering, multiple orgasms, reader is fucked in the mind too, consensual impregnation(?), voyuerism (to aemond that's watching through cameras), lmk if I forgot + not proofread

WC: 2.5k

A/N: ah yes, valentines special, surely the fic will be something sweet and fluffy, lol sike, it's just two mentally ill ppl getting together 😍, don't let the header fool u guys. // divider credits @cafekitsune

Perhaps it was too much.

Perhaps it wasn't.

Maybe following you home without your knowledge, leaving you presents not signed with a name, instilling secret cameras into the gifts he had given to you — which you've naively kept in your room — could be considered stalking.

But Aemond doesn't feel that way, whether he is ashamed to admit or is in pure denial is unknown to himself, he justifies all of those actions by simple reasoning, ‘to make sure you were safe.’ which is way far-fetched than it should be.

You did not know Aemond, but he knew you, a obsession developed through the course of an year when you had first defended him in something, nobody ever took his side since he was a child, so seeing you step up in his defence, when he was mocked because of his eye, really ignited something in him.

You of course had forgotten about the encounter and moved on, he didn't, he cherished that memory like it was a tiny water droplet amongst the vast desert, he didn't want it to evaporate.

At first he just appreciated you, but then he got curious, of what kind of person you were, and then he got attached and now? well now he's far too in deep to leave, he knows everything about you, the outfit you like, what you do after coming home, your favourite food, what song you blast while getting ready, every miniscule thing, and he prepares his gifts accordingly.

Aemond thought you'd throw his gifts away, but you didn't, he would drop off your favourite flowers which you'd keep in your vase, he was confused why you weren't creeped out by this type of behaviour, an unknown person leaving gifts should make you be fully alert right?

The thing is, you knew.

How can you not? He was way too fully obvious, you had only ever pretended that you did not remember him, but you recognized him, he was unique after all, you'd often catch him staring in your direction, and the gifts and letters he leaves you? How can you not recognize the handwriting when you're both in the same English class? When you've read countless handwritten essays by him?

You knew he was stalking you, you knew it was fucked up, but there was some deep subconscious part of you that liked it, to see someone be obsessed over you to the point of stalking or having their whole life revolve around you was like a stroke to your ego, maybe you're allowing it because you liked the guy? he wasn't a bad person, and neither does he behave like a total creep.

His behaviour is indeed creepy, but not completely creepy or anything — is what you justified your non-repulsiveness about him with

However you had gotten tired, tired of waiting for him to make a move, so you got ahold of his schedule to see when he's free and that's when you decided you'd strike him yourself.

You walk through the hallways in search of him, immediately smiling when you find him coming out of the class, you neutralise your expression and begin walking at full speed towards him, eventually ‘accidentally’ bumping into him, causing your belongings to fall down.

“Watch where you're—Oh are you okay?” He takes a moment to recognize you, and you nod slightly, picking up your things slowly, waiting for him to help you, which he does, but when he's about to touch something – and item that he himself had gifted – you grabbed it in a rush, hiding it from him and he raises his eyebrow at that while he picks up your other things.

He then hands over all the collected stuff, “Sorry for being, that was just an important thing someone had gifted me, I cherish it a lot.” You tell slowly, and smile up at him, you watch the way he shifts in his position, as his eyebrows relax and his mouth slightly curls up in a smile, “No problem.” He tells you and you both part your ways.

That wasn't enough however.

Because Aemond still did not strike, and it made you anxious to no end, so you began planning your guys’ accidental meetings until you eventually became friends with him, Aemond did not expect any of this but he enjoyed every moment, thinking his efforts paid off, well they technically did.

You found out about the camera in the eye of a comforting bed plushie he had gifted you accidentally, it made you shocked to know that he was keeping his eye on you like this, but you didn't care at that point because you too were so obsessed about him.

It's fucked up.

And then, an idea struck up in your head.

You invited Aemond for a coffee date, if you could call it that, and spent time together, preparing for English, he's actually very smart when his life isn't revolving around you, and you liked him even more because of his intelligence.

After a few hours together, you guys ended the date and went back home, you knew he'd be watching you through the camera so you decided to put on a show for him, you laid on the bed, breathing heavily as you imagined Aemond.

You closed your eyes, imagining that your hands were his and you began touching yourself, the way his hands would squeeze your breasts, play with your njpples, you mimicked as your imagery began to go wild.

Aemond was watching all this happen, it's not like he hadn't watched you masturbate before, or hump the plushie he had given you, but this time he for an odd reason, knew it was different.

You hand slowly pulled your panties down, pretending it was him before you slowly spread your legs apart and cupped your own cunt, before rubbing small circles onto your clit.

The pleasure and tension slowly began to rise as you picked up the pace, quickly growing desperate. You knew he was probably watching so you began to make noises hoping he'd hear you, and then an idea struck through you.

Maybe you should give a point of view if he is indeed watching.

You stared at the plush for a second before committing to that, you grabbed it and positioned it between your legs and took off your shirt, so you were completely naked now.

Aemond was unbearably hard at the sight, he massaged his balls to ease the tension before unbuckling his pants pulled his cock out and wrapped his hand around it.

You rutted against the plush, bouncing up and down to create friction inbetween your legs that provided pleasure, Aemond threw his head back, trying to match your pace with his hand, imagining that it was your cunt wrapped around him instead of his hand.

Your orgasm was drawing nearer and you desperately moved your hips back and forth, letting out gasps and whines, squeezing your breasts and pretending it was Aemond's hands.

The band that tightened in your core snapped with a warning, and you closed your eyes shut at the intensity it hit you with, you came with a loud moan of his name, “Fuck— Aemond.” you gasped.

Aemond finished right then there when he heard you say out his name, he grunted as he finished all over his hands. He breathed heavily gazing through the screen as you plopped down onto the bed tiredly, “Mhm Aemond.” You whined sleepily as your tiredness finally caught up to you, and you slowly drifted off to sleep, your breaths slowing down.

Aemond couldn't sleep that night.

——————

“Are you alright?” You teasingly ask him the next morning at class and he stares at you for a moment before nodding. He decided that since you had liked him back, there should be nothing stopping him right?

“Y/N, I have something to say.” He begins

‘Finally,’ you think.

“I'm in love with you, and I don't know if this will ruin the friendship between us but I really do.” He finally confesses and you smile.

“I know Aemond, I loved all of your gifts.” you tell him

And before he could process what you had said, the professor had come in and silenced the class, even after class he didn't get a chance to talk to you, you were always whisked away by something and he grew more frustrated.

So after the college had ended, you both walked home, and he thought it was better to discuss it in private rather than in public, to which you nodded and allowed him into your house. You dropped your bag on the couch before undoing your shoes and throwing them off, before making your way into the kitchen, fetching some water and bringing it for Aemond, while he sat on the couch.

“What do you mean by that you liked my gifts?” He questioned before gulping down some water and placed it on the table right in front of the sofa. You wasted no time and got on his lap, straddling him as you wrapped your arms around him and gazed into his eye.

“I know about everything, Aemond.” You mutter and his eye widens, “Since when?” he queried and you smirked, “Months ago, our meeting wasn't a coincidence.” You cup his cheek, caressing his scar with your thumb. “I hope you liked my show last night, I was waiting for this moment.” You whisper seductively before connecting your lips with his and he lets out a satisfied hum at how soft your lips feel against his, he immediately succumbs into your kiss, grabbing you by your waste and chasing your lips with his, the kiss becomes heated as well as passionate while you grip his head and push your tongue into his mouth.

You pull away to catch your breath and stare into his eye, you push a strand of his hair behind his ear before you lean in, “Take me to the bedroom and fuck me in the bed, Aemond.” You demand and he immediately obeys, holding you tightly against him as he carries you to your bedroom, before gently throwing you on the bed.

And you sit up on your elbows as he crawls up the bed towards you, pawing at your clothes and trying to pull them off, which you assist him with, he kisses your shoulders and your neck, all the way down towards your breasts and to your stomach before pressing a loving kiss on flesh of your cunt.

“You're so fucking wet.” He says amused, and your face heats up at that comment, “All for me, yes?” He looks at you and you nod, “All for you, Aemond.” You reaffirm and he smirks, you felt warmth creep up in your stomach at his expression, giving you butterflies.

He wets his fingers with his spit before pushing one inside humming in satisfaction as your cunt swallows his finger as though it was waiting for him, he slowly begins to thrust in and out, growing more restless and hot as he watches his finger move in and out, hoping that would be his cock soon.

He adds another finger and you whine at the delicious stretch, bucking your hips upwards to which he huts at and presses them back down, his hot breaths fan against your clitoris, causing you to twitch and look at him desperately, and he immediately knows what you want.

His lips wrap around the neglected bud before he begins to suckle on it, twirling his tongue around the pearl whilst you throw your head back at the amplified pleasure he was bestowing you with.

Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, gently pulling against his scalp as you writhe and squirm because of him, your orgasm hits you before you could even process it, making you moan his name out loud as your vision turns white as well as make your ears ring loudly.

He pulls away with a wet pop and pulls his fingers out before cleaning them up with his mouth, he licks his fingers – that was covered in your juices – squeaky clean before and hovers above you and kisses you. You wince at the tangy taste of yourself but nonetheless still kiss him back.

You tug at his pants and shirt, “Take them off.” You command, but in a pleading voice and he gladly does as you say, you watch as he pulls off his shirt and unbuckles his pants.

The sight of his body was divine, from his chest muscles to his defined arms, you began becoming more aroused as he fully undressed, and hovered above you once again, positioning himself between your legs.

“I don't have a condom.” He bites his lower lip nervously, but you cup his cheek and pull the lower lip from between his teeth, before you gazed up at him, “I don't fucking care, take me raw Aemond, I just want you to fuck me right now.” You admit unashamedly to which he chuckles lightly at before pressing his lips against yours once more.

He breaks the kiss and guides his hand towards his cock, gripping it and lining it up with your entrance, Aemond suddenly sits back so he isn't hovering over you anymore and pulls your legs over his shoulders, holding them in place as he pushes his cock inside.

He begins to thrust in and out, fucking you with a slow and gentle pace to gently stretch you out so you can adjust to his cock, and soon begins to move a faster pace than before.

However that still wasn't enough, so you begged for him to go faster; “Faster Aemond! Fuck, fuck me harder—” You are cut off by your own gasp when he sets his pace even faster than before, his thighs slapping against your butt.

Lewd noises fill the room, the scent of sex permeates the room while your body jolts up and down your bed as he restlessly pounds into you, all you could hear was your own moans matching with his as he too experiences the pleasure of this act.

“I'm cumming— fuck.” He warns you and tries to pull out but you pull your legs off his shoulders and wrap them around his waist, locking him in place, “Impregnate me like you desired, Aemond.” you tell him and he gasps as he hits his high at your words, shooting his seed inside of you.

He stimulates your clit while riding off his high which causes you to peak as well, making your walls to grip his cock tightly as they spasm around it.

He immediately plops down next to you, and you pull him to your chest, caressing his hair as he nuzzles his face in between your tits.

“I found your diary, you know, this morning.” You begin to speak as he catches his breath, “And I've found all the deepest and darkest desires you've written about me.”

His heartbeat rises and he stares up at you.

“I'd love for you to do those to me, Aemond.” you tell him.

“How are you okay with all of this? A normal person would be creeped out.” He questions and you smirk.

“I'm not so normal after all.” You kiss him on the head.

— !  ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡

[topconfessions]

Ohh I also watched the video and I just can't describe how much I hate korean media. Not saying T.O.P is 100% innocent weed is illegal in korea thats a fact but he was not even a distributor or something and he paid for his wrongdoings according to their law (which was right obviously). so instead of him and them(media and netizens) moving on they do still try to potray him in a bad light or boycott him and this guy has still to apologize since 7 years. We fans often talk about how he still has some unresolved issues cause it seems that way and I think he couldn't heal properly cause almost every year he had to apologize. One time is correct two okay but then move on. If you are constantly reminded of the issue with hate comments flowing in how could someone heal?🤦‍♀️ The fact they treat him is not normal. They don't even hate sexual offenders like this in the media somehow they manage to make a comeback. Its the same thing going on with yoo ah in right now how they are witch hunting him is crazy. Its unbelieveable that korean media is not treating more severe actions as bad as they treat someone for weed as in T.O.Ps case.

Tbh. The sexual offenders, AGAIN are relatively normal men mentally and physically. They aren't mentally ill, they aren't moody or have attitude issues, they don't act bizzare, they don't have complex and strange behavior online, their sexuality isn't in question 24/7, their actions don't extremely misconstrue their narratives, the offenders are usually ESTABLISHED and have a great catalog of top series or films behind them (keep in mind actors are more respected than idols, regardless of what they venture into) and most of thes offenders have a traceable dating past, dating scandals or dating rumors or are already involved with a woman.

They subliminally respect offenders or bad people in the industry who have tangible and normal things going for themselves they can relate to or be more invested in. Top is argubaly obsecure and mysterious about his dating and barely has 1 solid public past gf or rumor on media file that is verfied (asia chow doesnt count cause she was rumored). GD at least has Kiko. Taeyang is married and went about things with his wife the right way.

Also, bigbang had developed a reputation of having many scandals behind them back in the day. Its a combination of a lot of things. Also top stopped working and his interests were with wealthy people and nothing easily consumed up until a couple years ago with the wine business. He doesnt give the public much to work with and his silence enabled the public to sadly be "right" about him even when they were wrong also his social media acitvity in general.

I love top. I do. But I'm not going to sit here and act like he's byunghyun, lee minho or Rain or somebody. He's in that kanye category. If kanye didnt drop a project or work on anything but kept acting crazy with censori people would be gunning for his ass the same way too lol.

I think top is very sensitive and he has too much time on his hands and something is off in his social circle or he needs some medication like anti depressants. Cause he is at too much of an advantage in life to act like he has no physical freedom or finanical freedom to pull himself out of this.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond / react.

This is why the others get a pass and he doesn't. I'm sorry. I hate this for top and on the surface its not fair but I get it. Like for instance, let me relay this in a way most can understand (unless yall hate who I'm about to mention) its like chris brown getting passes and still doing well in his career but Justin Timberlake who never put hands on a woman is cancelled left and right depsite coming from one of the biggest boybands ever cause his mistreatment towards britney spears & Janet Jackson (Michael Jackson sister) verbally (and the titty superbowl gate) did more damage that last for decades than a mutual fight with Rihanna in a car he didnt start for no reason and him having a poor anger problem / shitty dating life. Chris me minus the usher birthday thing are more internally and self focused plus he has a long catalog of great hits like justin, he NEVER GAVE UP AND LET THE PUBLIC DOG PILE HIM OUT OF THE INDUSTRY AFTER RIHANNA FIGHT LIKE TOP DID, and he's diverse in a way that the public can find tangible.

Top is diverse but you need a strong interests in tops interests or to be wealthy / rich to engross yourself in that. Top wasnt consistent in his acting career and didnt keep acting cause he has a hidden habit of only wanting to do major roles or a film after he grinded a little with shows like Iris at the start of him trying acting. Hollywood and The entertainment industry is not fair and doesn't run on logic. It's sadly not suppose to and never does. They wouldn't be making more money than us if it did.

Chris is doing better in most aspects than Justin timberlake by a landslide cause he doesnt isolate or hoard his talents and always collabs with young artists and foreign artists in africa like davido with afro beats etc while Justin privately refused to take execs advice decades ago and do what usher did with mentioring a young new talents and teaching a new talent the ropes (usher with justin bieber). Justin didnt want to do that cause he wasnt going to prop up a new talent especially a younger better one. Thats why he slipping and has scandal after scandal now and needs nsync. Had he mentored a young artist and threw his endorsement behind him or her? Like usher. It would've kept his career fresh, relevant, and opening the door to new opportunities and tours without having to do much work for it. Usher wouldn't be where he is today right completely had he not ever gotten involved with Justin and...ugh...kim K putting his residency on (yall argue with ya mama, I said what I said. Kim did indirectly blow his residency up and made it extra hot. It was successful before her but when she started going and her bringing some other famous friends along that had more clout, everyone and their babysitter and mama in hollywood started going).

You get what I'm saying? The public keeps track of the little things and the overall presentation. I mean, byunghyun may be messy but he works, is consistent, does a damn good job when he works, and he isnt allover the place or had to stan. I'm using him as an example since hes in squid game too and has scandals.

Top, again, love him down, is still growing and learning. He's truly a young youthful child in a grown mans body and his whole course of navigating his career and personal life shows it. Thats why the public cant give him a pass. And top doesn't try to earn public sentiment or make things better.

Its a lot. It really is. Its like if MJ was still alive but being a weirdo then not giving a fuck about the fans and giving us NOTHING to work with and he didnt make that last album then had attitude. He'd get chewed up too lol.

[ehh-is-the-name]

I ENTIRELY disagree with your statement that cobs and mephone are one in the same. They just arent!!! they arent!!!! it's comparing a person who Was Abused to their Abuser. And i think thats really dangerous, especially because cobs did things knowingly and out of ill will and is absolutely manipulating suitcase and knife in his speech to them, but also because mephone literally has/had no fucking idea he created the contestants.

theres something wildly different between creating a fantasy UNKNOWINGLY where everything goes your way (kinda- i'll yap about that later) and you have your contestants and your show where you can be the perfect host you always wanted to be!!... And creating Sentient Beings (who you know are sentient) and sending them off TO WAR only to physically and emotionally abuse one of them when he comes back with Only ONE of the children you sent him to steal. like. Fellow mephone apologist, he's not really that bad!!!! there is hope!!!

Back to the whole. 'everythign goes his way' thing- A key difference between Cobs and Mephone to me is that Mephone, not even knowing he created the contestants, doesn't force them to do anything. He's kinda... dumb? like, let's be real, his biggest threats come up to 'you'll be kicked off the show' and yada yada... Like. take Marshmallow.

He (UNKNOWINGLY) created marshmallow to be on HIS show. But when she chose to leave... he didn't stop her. And yes, he knew she left because of his confrontation of mepad where he expressly asks him 'why did you let marshmallow leave?' Mephone 100% KNEW. but he didn't stop her (nor apple, for that matter) from going off and starting a life of their own.

MEPHONE DOESN'T WANT CONTROL OF HIS CONTESTANTS LIVES.

Yes, he's a jerk, YES, He's absolutely terrible to his contestants sometimes, and YES, he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

BUT. He's not anything like cobs-- at least, not where it matters.

Cobs tried to kill mephone, multiple times, when mephone tried to start his own life. Mephone views his contestants as real, sentient people- Cobs doesn't! He sees the contestants as toys, if anything... And he sees his own creations as tools. Valuable tools.

So like. what im trying to say. Is uhhh sorry for yapping so long and i hope you have an awesome day!!! I've just seen this whole Mephone=cobs thing going around and it gave me a headache SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU DEAL WITH IT </3 but i do hope thsi was informative!

First off- LET'S GO I LOVE II DISCORSE THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING THIS IS WHAT COMMUNITY'S ALL ABOUT!!

Anyway, I will say, that I'm giving you a hug and crying into your shoulders for bringing up the marshmallow thing- I completely forgot about it even though we literally just saw her again (I think it's pretty clear that my priorities are ALL over the place).

Rewatching the scene I get what you're saying.

I'mma be soooo fuckin honest this scene went right the fuck over my head, and by that, I mean I didn't know if Mephone was being genuine with his confusion or fuckin' anything actually. When I say ii 16 has killed me and left me rotting in a gutter, I'm so serious. Mentally I am in a gutter and your ask has at least rolled me back on the curb so I can breathe air instead of sewer water.

Literally reading your thing has made me remember other posts I have seen and taken to heart about this phone, like examples A and B. (They're both tumblr analyses that are kinda outdated 'cause of the bombshell but still pretty good imo). Mephone DOESN'T want to control the contestant's lives and, although he can be a dickwad at times, he still cares about them. Though is that just because they're his OCs in a way? I-

I say all that but I'm also like, I don't want to be completely throwing away everything Cobs is saying just because I feel ill every time he talks. You right, it's very clear that this whole thing is heavy with the manipulation but fuck man I think I'm just easily manipulated... I'm being so serious when I say I lost what hte fuck I was typing in the middle of this and I don't think it's coming back to me. I rolled back in the gutter, sewer water is my home I fucking guess.

Anyone who's listening to me at this point- I don't recommend it I actually don't know what the fuck is happening. I think I still have it in my head that Mephone knows about the whole "making the contestants thing" which makes it hard to fully embrace what you're saying. I should clarify tho:

Mephone and Cobs aren't the same, but the things he's indirectly picked up from Cobs (because of his abuse) are presenting harder than I thought originally. And I think that's what I really meant when I wrote the note. Or at least, that's how I feel now. It's been a couple days since I wrote the stuff in the blockquote. That's the best way to explain how I feel about the Mephone = Cobs situation—yes, but genuinely, in all honestly, no they're not the same.

And do not be ashamed of ranting, really, we love it here. Plus, my friend called this the 9/11 of inanimate insanity and yeah there's a lot of fallout and theories rn. Perfect time for discourse 'cause we're all going through the wringer.

[immediatebreakfast]

Now, back to Renfield.

This poor old gentleman is being toyed in such a way by the two people that have power over him. It's almost as the single difference between Jack, and Dracula is that at least Seward somewhat cares for his wellbeing in a more twisted sense of the word. Which makes Renfield's already bad mental stress worse; he jumped from wanting to restart the food chain after screaming in distress to simply throwing everything away after experiencing a horrible episode. Renfield spent this whole entry on the edge of what could have been a mental breakdown, and the only "help" he received was restraining, and Seward passively recording everything while only interrupting to ask questions.

It's utterly rustrating to see how Renfield suffers the consequences of Seward's already depressed state while trying to deal with his own mental illness plus Dracula's presence.

I wish I could get some glimpse of his mind or of the cause of his sudden passion. Stop; there may be a clue after all, if we can find why to-day his paroxysms came on at high noon and at sunset. Can it be that there is a malign influence of the sun at periods which affects certain natures—as at times the moon does others? We shall see.

Yet, this is the only observation that Seward did in the whole entry after witnessing everything. So close to an actual observation, yet so blind at the same time.

So, how long will it be for Renfield until he finally gets that one chance to escape those four walls? Will he subsequently try to appease to Seward's indifference in an attempt to make his living in the asylum less tormented?

"Yes! The flies like it, too, and I like the flies; therefore I like it." And there are people who know so little as to think that madmen do not argue. I procured him a double supply, and left him as happy a man as, I suppose, any in the world. I wish I could fathom his mind.

Or maybe Renfield will try to build a better coping mechanism to somehow understand the confusing, and enraging actions of that master who keeps his secrets very close.

Either way, Renfield's outboursts and seemly erratic behaviors are just a product of his melancholic conclusion about his situation now that the Count is in the picture. If Dracula (the man now monster who fooled death) can simply go away if he so pleases while leaving Renfield once again, around the same four walls...

Did he ever had a chance to finally change his miserable existance to anything else than the same four walls, and the same face of the doctor full of barely constrained curiosity, and contempt?

[p-i-r-culture]

! PLEASE READ THIS POST ALL OF THE WAY BEFORE INTERACTING !

---

Terminology and Definitions

Problematic in recovery - a term used to describe a person who's considered "problematic" in online spaces (eg. Tiktok, Youtube, Tumblr, etc.) and is wishing to end their problematic behavior and rehabilitate. A majority of these people who identify with this label struggle with some sort of mental illness that may have contributed to the behavior and/or their behavior is how they got the disorder. Many of us have also experienced trauma of some sort and used problematic behavior as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Note: this does not excuse the actions that were done, if someone is doing something they shouldn't, hold then accountable in a way that is beneficial to both you and the person being held accountable. This label was made to address the issues that cancel culture has created over the years, and how those issues have affected people negitively.

Problematic (in terms of online behavior) - having or showing attitudes (such as racial prejudice) or ideas (such as falsehoods) that are offensive, disturbing, or harmful, in this context, it occurs while in online spaces. While the exact cause of this behavior is unknown, a lack of understanding of social cues and norms can play a role, alongside exposure to inappropriate content at a young age that may alter the person's beliefs, and other forms of trauma. Some people who are deemed "problematic" often describe it as an addiction, once you start, it's difficult to stop, though regularly scheduled therapy and medications used to treat the mental illness that is causing the behavior in question can help.

Cancel Culture - a cultural phenomenon in which an individual deemed to have acted or spoken in an unacceptable manner is ostracized, boycotted, shunned, fired or assaulted, often aided by social media. Popular examples of this are the cancelation of Yandere Dev, Melanie Martinez (a recent one), and Vivziepop, along with many others. Originally, cancel culture was used to put an end to dangerous behaviors and to hold celebrities accountable for their harmful actions since the media would often allow their behaviors to go on.

Unfortunately, cancel culture doesn't take into account those who are struggling with mental illness or have neurological disabilities that may impact how they handle specific situations, and as a result, it leads to ableism and stigma, and cancel culture is also rooted in bullying and harassment, which may make the problematic behavior in question worsen and deter the person in question from seeking help and/or changing their behaviors, and in worst cases, it leads to the person taking their own life.

Simple answer: It's anti-recovery and pro-harassment.

For more information on how cancel culture can impact someone, I recommend checking out this video by BreDrawz, as she does a very good job as explaining this topic and how harmful cancel culture can be:

Why this blog?

When I first discovered that my behaviors were considered problematic, and infact were hurting people, I wanted to put and end to it, and all in all try to make myself a better person. Unfortunately, with the rise of Cancel culture, I and many others haven't been able to get the resources needed to make the necessary changes to myself, and this, combined with the already existing ableism I've faced since I was a child, had unfortunately caused me to frequently relapse, further pushing the stigma and worsening my mental health.

It eventually got so bad to where I had begun to contemplate taking my own life, and it was only because I discovered that I infact was redeemable that I didn't do it.

On my journey to recovery, I had discovered that I was not the only one dealing with this, as many others had been dealing with the same issues I was, and that made me feel less alone.

I hope to provide that same feeling of community through this blog.

DNI (DO NOT INTERACT)

Anyone who fits into these categories: Ableism (especially against neurodivergent people and anyone with "evil" mental illnesses, such as NPD or BPD), Racism, Sexism/misogyny, Homophobia/ transphobia, Antisemitism, Pro-genocide of any kind, Nazis and Neo-Nazis, pro-"life", or any sort of discrimination that I haven't listed here.

People who justify literal bullying as "criticism" (seriously, it never helps, there's a difference between actual criticism that can help someone and bullying)

Personality disorder Abuse believers (eg: Narcissist abuse believers)

People who make mental illness look like a quirky trend (Eg: saying "bpd = beautiful princess disorder", "I'm so OCD" etc.)

Anti-recovery (especially when it comes down to mental illness)

Cancel culture participants

About the Blog Owner

Hi there! My name is Luca(s) Krager, but you might know me as Nozomi Kaizoku. I'm a 17 year old AuDHD and BPD content creator. My pronouns are he/she/they. I'm mostly known for my artwork and contributions to the Tony Crynight community

For more bout me, here is my main blog! :3

@nozomi-kaizoku

Other blogs to check out if you're interested!

@borderline-culture-is

@narcissist-culture-is

@/aspd-culture (they have asked not to be tagged in this post)

@cluster-b-culture-is

@hpdcultureis

@autismcultureis

@adhd-culture-is

@ndcultureis

[stromuprisahat]

Though compared to other characters and ships in the books, do you think that darklina could be called toxic from both parties (Aleksander + Alina)? Sorry if this offense anyone I only read the first book.

First of all- fuck offending people. Fiction is written to be discussed among other things and asking a question without ill intent should never be something to be afraid of.

As for the matter at hand- yes, absolutely.

There's plenty written on how did Aleksander wrong Alina and although most of it could be chalked up to caution, strategy and having to deal with mentally damaged girl necessary for his plans alongside more pressing matters like war and incompetent leadership. It's undeniable his feelings got involved, so he hardly remained simply cold and calculating.

He's also a petty bitch, who won't let an offense against himself and his goals slide, if he is in position to take revenge. (See: Genya's punishment, Nikolai's volcralization, partly burning that Saintsdamned orphanage..) Plus he knows words don't cost him anything, but often could work as well as actions (threatening to skin Alina, kill Grishenka etc.).

The main issue is that neither Alina, not plenty of readers see the difference between Alina as a person and her as a strategically important figure, later a leader and figurehead of part of his opposition. Or cannot grasp that a single action rarely has just one purpose with the Darkling.

For example burning that orphanage isn't necessary to prove how far he's willing to go- Alina already sees him as evil incarnate-, but it:

Destroys symbol of the past Alina keeps clinging to, even though it's holding her back.

Destroys one of few things she truly cared for.

Lures her out of hiding, so at least the Civil war can end.

Frees Alina from her shitty mother figure.

Settles the score of dead horrible women that kept damaging their "children" even from afar. And no, I won't cry for Anne Cunt any more than for Ol' Bags.

The other way around is often overlooked. Partly because Aleksander's viewed as a heartless monster by plenty of people, partly because he's the bad guy AND a ("white powerful") man, so he "cannot be abused", especially not by the heroine, from whose POV we see the story unfold.

Aleksander's only role model regarding long lasting relationships is his toxic mother, so he treats harm as affection, therefore we never see him complain, but let's be fair- if he were the one promising Alina to join her, only to proceed trying to kill them both through her powers, he'd be judged for it even more than he already is.

Alina from the first book never saw him as a human being. She found him attractive- yes-, but denied him something as basic as ability to have feelings. and once a salvation in a form of older female figure with puritan attitudes appears, Alina embraces her lies as a word of God, and immediately flees from him, never to stop and think about wider consequences of her sudden disappearance. Her dehumanization of him in the tent scene is quite something.

Alina from following books has fleeing moments of empathy, only to slide back into her "Evil man-needs to be destroyed" attitude. She feels ashamed of wanting him, she finds funny the notion he might've been sexually assaulted, she never considers his points or losses. There's probably more, but this already got longer than I intended, so I'll drop a link to my tag on their interactions I write as I go through the books.

While his unhealthy treatment of her is a combination of centuries of losses, damage caused by narcissistic mother and desperation of a cornered leader, hers of him is about bigotry, shame and will to be responsibility-free no matter the cost.

It's rather ironic, that he keeps trying to teach her- even though it's often the "tough love" he was taught at Baghra's knee-, while she uses "wisdom" of the same woman as ear plugs

Actually, the only truly nice action from her side I can think of is her honoring his last wish.

[1ore]

That reminded me that I was recently designing a sign about invasive species, and went down a rabbit hole reading about inclusive invasive species communications. I tracked down a neat workshop and some other readings that I'll share my notes from.

Resources

NISAW 2024: The Invasive Species Language Workshop – 3 hr recording of lecture-workshop

2:06:34 – Angie Gupta provides alternatives to typical invasive framing. 2:27:48 – What cartoon zebra mussels taught me about invasive species communication

Crafting Normative Messages to Protect the Environment

Testing Emphasis Message Frames and Metaphors on Social Media to Engage Boaters to Learn about Preventing the Spread of Zebra Mussels

The efficacy of message frames on recreational boaters’ aquatic invasive species mitigation behavioral intention

Notes

Problems with Existing Language

Communications about invasive species often rely on two metaphors:

Nativism – basically “native = good and foreign = bad.” Military metaphors – framing invasives as an enemy that we must fight; existential good vs. evil. (invasion itself is a military metaphor)

- they’re punchy - stir up feelings of national identity + personal action as part of larger effort. - BUT: Can tap into xenophobia, anti-immigrant sentiment; parallels history of exclusionary U.S. laws (e.g. Chinese exclusion act, Japanese internment era) Especially in the comments section…. - Can backfire when audience identifies with the invasive species instead (the maligned immigrant; the foreigner; the underdog) - This excellent article illustrates that sentiment. - “Chew notes that post-World War Two, the plant was described in similar terms to the Japanese a few years earlier. One suggestion at the time was to burn the plant out with flame throwers, a callback to the Pacific campaign.”

Strategies + Solutions

Alternative metaphors

- Invasive species as hitchhikers - Invasives as ecological bullies - Invasives as ecological illness/injury - Invasives as over-enthusiastic children that need to be reminded to share

Positive framing: for my sanity and yours! (e.g. “when we removed invasive species from this woodlot, we saw bluebells bloom for the first time” or “when the park started managing invasives, visitation went through the roof.”)

- Combats sense of hopelessness in the public AND land managers that managing invasives is a never-ending battle or waste of time/money. - Respectful of peoples’ emotional energy (we’re bombarded with awful news, doesn’t it feel good to hear that your small act is part of something meaningful?) - One alternative: framing management as an act of healing (or like managing an injury, illness, or chronic condition; “the quiet work of maintenance.”) - Good for our mental health as land managers and communicators so that we don’t burn out, feeling like we’re fighting a losing battle. - Honors human history. (people have managed this desert for thousands of years (for better or worse); change is a constant feature of the landscape, but we can take responsibility for anthropogenic changes like species invasion by doing what we do best as humans, e.g. changing our ecosystem.)

Making it their idea: “we have a problem and we need help” feels very different than “you have a problem and you need help.”

- Community-engaged invasive management is more meaningful when the community identifies the problem and the solution on their own. (even if it’s the same as our pre-existing management strategy—maybe we can plant these ideas in a more subtle way?)

No shame, no guilt: shame causes us to dig in our heels; guilt is petrifying. We want to give people hope and agency, not resentment for The Institution (or at least our staff LOL)   

Inspirational solutions: it’s OK if the solution isn’t glamorous—sometimes the story of how we arrived at the solution is inspirational.  

Normalization: Frame it as something that people just do.

- Involve friends, family, community – creates accountability - Be careful not to frame “bad behavior” as normal. (E.g. showing people cleaning their boats before getting on a lake, instead of focusing on the uninformed masses who don’t clean their boats—inadvertently framing that behavior as widespread and normal)

Identify observable ways that invasives impact the environment / drive change: People are more willing to manage species when species are framed as drivers of change rather than passengers of human disturbance.

- The tricky part: invasives are passengers of human disturbance… But people seem to be more willing to change behavior when messaging targets the species, not them (in our current social environment, at least) - BUT focusing on species impact can be a positive shift away from focusing on place of origin (e.g. we care about managing this species because it encourages fires in an environment that doesn’t cope well with fire… we want to have a wide variety of species in our park, not a monotonous stand of one species… vs. this species is an interloper from south Africa, it doesn’t belong)

People seem to respond to injunctive / legal framing (e.g. “It’s the law” “Texans expect you to clean, drain, and dry”)

[stargirlfeyre]

I think it’s important to realize that you can have empathy towards someone and still dislike them and hold them accountable for their actions. I dislike Nesta because she continues to verbally abuse her youngest sister. Do I feel bad that she was abused by her parents and suffered from poverty? Absolutely. I think the abuse she faced from her parents and the trauma she endured from starvation, poverty, Tomas, the men that broke into her house to beat her father up, Hybern, and her father’s death contributed to the abuse she inflicted onto Feyre. She was abused by her mother, then went on to abuse her youngest sister. She continued a cycle of abuse. But her being traumatized and abused doesn’t justify her traumatizing and abusing someone else. I understand Nesta and I sympathize with her - but I still dislike her.

Just because someone dislikes Nesta doesn’t make them ableist to those with mental illnesses. Just like having a mental illness doesn’t give you the right to abuse those around you.

This morning I saw someone say that saying you dislike Nesta is the equivalent of saying that you’re ableist and thinks mentally ill people have to fit into a certain box.

And I think that perfectly sums up how a lot of Nesta fans are ignorant when it comes to comprehending why people don’t like her. They think it’s because we don’t understand her or because we feels as though only certain trauma responses are acceptable. But that’s not true at all.

I completely under Nesta’s character and how her trauma dictates her actions and her views on the world. I understand that she’s someone who’s been groomed since childhood and given a life purpose and when that purpose was taken away, she spiraled and her superiority and inferiority complexes collided causing her to be abusive and toxic. I understand that her treatment of Feyre comes from a place of jealousy and insecurities over the fact that she was tasked with taking care of the family and it was Feyre who did that job when she couldn’t (or purposely wouldn’t). I understand that the way she was raised plays a major part in her prejudice and ignorance, I understand why she latched onto Gwyn and Emerie, I even understand her relationship with Elain. But I just can’t like her.

I am perfectly capable of sitting her and saying that Nesta deserved nothing that she went through. Not the Cauldron, Hybern, Tomas, her mother, etc. But at the same time I’m not about to sit here and coddle her. I’m not about to say it’s okay for her to inflict pain on others because she’s in pain. And that’s what a lot of Nesta fans hate about people who don’t like her. They take us not coddling her as us not understanding her. Because to them if you understand her then you must like her. If you understand her then you must see everything she does/says as justified.

The why does not change the action or it’s effect. We all know that Nesta’s abuse towards Feyre was born from the abuse she faced growing up…but that doesn’t change her abuse towards Feyre? If Nesta’s pain from her childhood is taken into account and sympathized with then why can’t Feyre’s? They treat Feyre’s familial abuse as some taboo subject that they’ll only touch on briefly because they know that if they talk about it in depth, Nesta is going to come up because she played a good part in Feyre’s abuse.

And lastly, Nesta’s fans trying to call anyone ableist is crazy when you take into account that she herself is ableist.

[revllz]

Sum things I want to say — Andrew Blaze Addition

New Series Summary: “Sum (Some) things I want to say” is a new posting series of mine where I put in my own thoughts on certain aspects of cases, or even just perpetrators.

ANDREW BLAZE. who is she? — Read here.

Information of who Andrew is linked above incase you are curious on her case. Other things can be founded by said link as well.

SOME THINGS I WANT TO SAY. PART 1.

I would like to start out by saying I was originally a fan of Andrew’s when I was younger before I found out about this case. So while I may have biases about her that does not mean I condone her actions or agree with many of her statements. This is merely my opinion or views on certain aspects regarding her. Thank you, and enjoy.

Her identity. ) I feel this is something that doesn’t get talked about properly and while I understand why certain people may treat it a certain way, I want to remind you that Andrew did not label herself transgender as she believed her soul was female and she based her identity off of that. I see many people personally label her as transgender and I feel it’s rather disrespectful due to the simple fact its denying her of her own beliefs even if they were caused by possible mental illness. (which many are not even qualified to claim she had; symptoms don’t instantly mean diagnosis.)

Her reliance on fantasy. ) This is something many people turn to as a coping mechanism, So I don’t have much an opinion on it rather than this; Too much of a good thing can turn bad, her case and a lot of others can show this. While turning to fiction and fantasy is a very healthy and relatively normal way of coping, you need to make sure you are grounded enough to recognize it is only fantasy.

Her final “gift”. ) I had to think about this for a bit because it’s difficult to word this exactly how I view it, but I’m going to try my best.

“I hope I've brought a smile to your face at some point in your lives; whether it be on Pioneers Productions, gaming videos, Ember's Ghost Squad, in person, or even just through simple social media messages.”

This is part of her final writings in her journal, copy and pasted in without alteration. I bring this to the table because I want to point out — Even in the moments of her own acceptance of her soon coming death, and the chaos that her final actions will bring she still wishes she had inspired someone. She left embers ghost squad up to viewers; whether to continue or for it to be left alone.

In a way, she left her greatest achievement to us — Her creation that had inspired a good deal of people to create and share their creations as well. This part is more personal so feel free to scroll away, if you do decide to, thank you for reading.

But continuing on; Andrew was someone I idolized as a child before the crime. Her creations inspired me to get into character creation and story writing — And even in death, she still inspires me to write. To research, to learn, to write and continue on certain things that otherwise would be left in the dust. In the end of this all; she achieved one of the primary things she set out to do along with “fulfilling her purpose.”

I feel it’s overlooked that she had wishes and dreams of her own even in times where she wanted seemingly nothing more than to be dead — She still hoped that she inspired others, brought them joy or made them laugh once. I admire that. I have gotten many of my views on death and my own struggles from her. While I may never view her the same again, I still idolize the woman that taught me how to accept my struggles — to accept myself, taught me that things may be scary and confusing but things can always be worse so make the most of the light that’s around you incase it hits that worse.

My own final message, my ending to this long ass post and the ending to an analysis I worked hard on but have finally accepted I will never finish — Things will always end on a “to be continued.” Your life, the lives around you, the things you enjoy, the things you hate. Everything is going to end on a cliffhanger and as annoying as it is… It’s best to accept that fact. I will never truly understand every criminal mind that has existed, I will never finish my research on them as their impacts continue to control the world today even if it’s only in little ways.

Be glad you’re here while you have the chance. And take a page out of my book, even if it’s Andrew coded beyond belief; Listen to your soul, Not societal pressures. You are whoever you dream to be, even if it takes time to get there or you have to work for ages to reach that point — If you believe in something hard enough, You’ll achieve it one day. Just don’t let yourself waste away, admire every stretch and mark on your body and learn to understand that while the world around you may be crumbling; there will always be a patch of land to stand on. There will always be a chance. You can make it, and the world won’t end in the blink of an eye.

Thank you for reading part one of my new post series and I promise, not all of them will end up all sappy — but either way. Thank you, and until next time.

— Callin.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I saw this post. Thoughts?

“i love azula but i hate how her stans absolve her of the bullying she put zuko through, even going as far as saying that zuko was the abusive one. in the show, the only glimpses we get of what azula and zuko's relationship pre-banishment are through flashbacks in zuko alone. in these flashbacks, it's clear that ozai pitted against each other and that azula often taunted zuko for being the black sheep of the family. idk how anyone could watch those flashbacks and be like "yeah zuko definitely abused azula". i understand being sympathetic towards azula's struggles with mental health and suffering from golden child syndrome, but that doesn't excuse how she treated her friends or her brother at all. acting like it is very dangerous because in real life, it is common for people to justify their awful behavior by talking about their difficult childhood, mental health struggles, etc. and it's perfectly fine to like characters who are awful people. my favorite arcane character is jinx and although i often make jokes like "hehe jinx did nothing wrong, those pilties had it coming", i acknowledge that many of her actions are unjustifiable, but i still like her because i find her to be a sympathetic character because it's obvious that she has self-esteem issues and suffers from psychosis, bpd, and schizophrenia.

difficult childhood, mental health struggles, etc. and it's perfectly fine to like characters who are awful people. my favorite arcane character is jinx and although i often make jokes like "hehe jinx did nothing wrong, those pilties had it coming", i acknowledge that many of her actions are unjustifiable, but i still like her because i find her to be a sympathetic character because it's obvious that she has self-esteem issues and suffers from psychosis, bpd, and schizophrenia. the same can apply to azula, she's a manipulative character who lacks empathy, but she also suffers from golden child syndrome and mental health issues, both statements can co-exist.”

The tags said: #again i love azula but her stans are insufferable #why are we woobifying a colonizing war criminal? #"she only proposed genocide because she seeks approval from her father and is mentally ill" DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF #azula critical #i guess???

1 - If we're talking only about the original show, then yeah, "Zuko abused Azula" is an absurd statement. His biggest "crime" in canon was not really caring about being her older brother - which is understandable considering all the trauma he was struggling to process and the way Ozai made them fight for his approval, making it nearly impossible for Zuko to trust his sister.

If we're taking the Yang comics into consideration, then I'm sorry to say that "Zuko abused Azula" becomes completely true. He locks her up in an asylum that is only making her worse by abusing her (unnecessary restraining and beatings, which his friends also engage in), takes her on a dangerous mission knowing nothing about her condition, and threatens to throw her off a cliff when it all inevitably backfires on him.

Now, is all of that EXTREMELY out of character for Zuko? Yes, but people keep insisting I take those bullshit comics as canon just 'cause Bryke approved of them (and because it constantly says "Azula bad"), even though they're literally just a result of a former DC comics writer not understanding that not every villain is the joker, and I'm not gonna stop reminding them that said comics RUINED the story and thus NOBODY should take it as canon. I'm a petty bitch.

2 - I wouldn't say that Azula's mental health struggles and desperate need for Ozai's validation are the ONLY reasons why she was cool with imperialism and genocide. That was 90% a result of literal indoctrination that the entire nation has been under for an entire century. Mind you, that doesn't absolve her (or anyone) of responsibility either, but it is dishonest to ignore these factors and go "she was just bad". Much like her brother, Azula needs both a brutal reality check of "You're the bad guy, sweety, get your shit together and stop being awful" and for the people around her to understand "This a traumatized, brainwashed TEENAGER we're dealing with here."

You can hold somebody accountable for their actions without dismissing their reasoning for doing what they did. The entire fandom does it by acknowledging how being abused by Ozai sent Zuko on a downwards spiral in which he was constantly hurting himself and others, WHY is it suddenly impossible to do that when it's Azula's turn? Why is "she's just evil" the only acceptable explanation for all that she did when that directly contradicts canon?

[xdreamie]

could go on and on about how people don’t care if you’re autistic unless you’re perfect like what do you think classifies autism cause it’s a ton of mistakes and missed cues and learning from people around you because you simple did not know something a misread situation gets you iced out from everyone on the internet when you really did not know it’s insane ITS A MISTAKE

THIS. holy shit. just how they see queerness as something only moral people can be, they view disability and mental illness the exact same way. you can’t do bad things and have autism because then how can i romanticize a serious disorder that affects someone’s perception of everything if you continue to mess up! and what do you mean autism is actually not just special interests but something that truly alters how you perceive others actions and how you respond? since you have a past of mistakes, you must not have these disorders, because youre not good enough to

[dropintomanga]

The Accidental Trauma of the Negators (Undead Unluck)

The past few years, the word trauma has been thrown around a lot. Everyone's going through something. While one can argue who is suffering more, there's one thing that's certain - we still don't know how to talk about trauma in a healthy manner that heals everyone involved.

And I see this in the case of the Negators in Yoshifumi Tozuka's Undead Unluck.

Undead Unluck starts off with a young girl named Fuuko Izumo wanting to kill herself after causing a lot of death around her. She curses how unlucky she is until a mysterious person named Andy shows up to save her. Andy is someone who is looking to die as he is living a virtually-immortal existence. He believes Fuuko is the key to dying and decides to drag her on an adventure that would end up joining an organization made up of people with unique powers like themselves called Negators.

The Negators are individuals that have abilities that negate certain rules placed by the God of their world and by beings known as Uma. These abilities usually start with an "Un-" prefix, so Undead and Unluck are on the list. How those abilities are activated can be random, but there's consequences. Once Negators awaken to their power, they end up causing tragedy to those they love and most of the time, they kill them.

I'll talk about 3 Negators in particular.

Fuuko Izumo (Unluck) - Due to her ability to generate extremely bad luck on those she loved the most, her parents were killed in an airplane crash when she was 8 and with them. Three years later, Fuuko kissed her grandfather and he ended up dying some time after

Tatiana (Untouchable) - Her Negator ability activated at the age of 5 and destroyed an entire town as anything near her would be incinerated, including her parents.

Chikara Shigeno (Unmove) - When his Negator ability activated, he accidentally caused his parents to not be able to move by looking directly at them in front a speeding truck. Hence their imminent deaths.

You can guess why I want to talk about those 3 in particular - because they accidentally killed their parents.

In mental health, there have been cases of people living with mental illness who killed their family members. While this may not be shocking to some, it's still harboring to hear and a risque subject to talk about. Years ago, while working the front desk at my local NAMI, I took a phone call from a woman who was looking to inquire about what to do regarding her brother, who killed their parents. She was in tears and I said I understood and transferred her over to the helpline.

I recently listened to two stories about people who accidentally took the lives of others. One story focused on a woman who ran over a homeless person near an expressway. While she was mourning the loss and processing what she did, everyone around her was like "Oh, that person was just an outcast to society. You don't need to mourn them." The woman didn't know how to take that. The second story was about a man who was struggling with alcohol addiction for years. Things came to a head when he killed a small group of family members while drunk driving. While the man is making amends through advocacy work against drunk driving, he can't help but wonder if he will truly be forgiven for what he did.

What's scary is when you accidentally kill someone, it's easy to let the trauma define your entire identity. Fuuko, Tatiana and Chikara were like this before meeting Andy. They were afraid that their powers couldn't help anyone. They felt that they couldn't redeem themselves no matter what. If the 3 of them can't get close to anyone anymore, then so be it.

Thankfully, all three have managed to find ways to cope and grow. Fuuko realizes how much her power can save lives and knows how much her parents loved her. The best thing Fuuko can do was live and protect those she cares about just like her parents once did. Tatiana felt the same after Fuuko befriends her without judgement of her past actions. Chikara admits that his parents want him to live first and foremost while being kind to those who need it.

I will not lie that society will always judge anything violent in a black or white manner. I just wish that those who know they did something devastating are treated with compassion by more than just people similar to them. In Undead Unluck, the Negators only get sympathy from fellow Negators. The God who "blesses" them only sees them as pawns to be played with.

It's okay if you can't forgive yourself as long as you don't fall into total despair. Try to make the world around you a better place. If you can't, then definitely make your inner world a better place. And definitely find a community that you can feel safe and at peace with. This is why I appreciate Undead Unluck and understand why it was made a big deal at Anime NYC in 2023. Community (and some professional help) goes a long way to heal the trauma.

And more importantly, try to honor the victims as best you can. Do good for their sake.

There's absolutely no good card for this at all, but shrinking yourself to the abyss and wanting to die like some Negators have felt is not a good answer to live up to any grave mistakes you made. Do the UN-believable and prove to the awful voice that unfairly blames you that you are so much more than what you did.

If you are or know someone who accidentally hurt or killed someone, the Hyacinth Fellowship is a place to find help and I totally recommend visiting their website at: https://hyacinthfellowship.org/

[hiroshotreplica]

im sorry you probably dont want this in your askbox but i dont really think it makes sense to talk about madness and leafi the same way for a lot of reasons. Idk maybe im just seeing a transgirl getting relentlessly dogpiled because of old screenshots and having an over-empathetic response but fuck man she was 13 when those screenshots were taken. Shes not even 18 right now shes crazy young for her level of play (like literally should be community banned for lying about being 13 for multiple years during splatoon 2 to get around discord community guidelines but thats a tangent). She said in her apology she was trying to fit in with a real shitty group of people she doesn't associate with anymore and fuck man im probably giving herself way too much grace cause i seeing a terrifying exaggeration of something i went through on a public scale but like people are editing HER face onto memes and talking shit about HER and constantly misgendering her when madness is not only an actual adult but has been ACTUALLY DOING THIS SHIT RECENTLY. im not saying the shit she was saying wasnt heinous but fuck man this isnt gonna help her and i dont want the dumass bullshit she said when she was a middle schooler to ruin the rest of her life. sorry for the white girl mental illness blast but there is important context in this ranty anxiety and projection goop

anon asked for a tldr for the situation w/ jackpot as a whole, which included leafi's part in the situation. as the post was about how jackpot as a team has made racist statements. i chose screenshots that put my point clearly, which just so happened to be screenshots with madness and leafi. i'll go more into it here, though

i did not mean to compare her to madness when including screenshots of her old statements. i was compiling the most blatant screenshots from the thread i had originally linked in a prior post. i was going to include other things, but didnt have the time to compile them and was beginning to get stressed about being the source of this info on tumblr.

i was also going to include this video of her saying racist statements in 2024, but i didnt want to include a twitter link for an anon that couldnt access twitter. im realizing i shouldve done so

i do feel bad for her getting involved with a group of people THAT bad if she was truly that ignorant when she was younger, but thats where my sympathy ends. she still acted racist and still associated with clearly racist people even when she was older and more mature. ive learned since making that post that she was born in 2007. 16 is still an age where you should be mature enough to understand that those comments are racist, even with america's shitty public education system glossing over racism.

i definitely see why this can look like people dogpiling on a trans woman though, and the people doing memes and editing her into them in general about this situation are disgusting. i had no idea she was trans and that people were misgendering her. anyone making this situation about her being trans are awful and not people i stand by.

but all of that, including her being skilled despite her age, still doesnt forgive or erase her actions. nothing like that does for the other members of jackpot that have also stated racist things. nothing like that does for any other comp splatoon player that has said anything similar. the apology she put out was needed, but from what ive heard from others, it wasnt the best. she is writing another apology, though, so it couldve just been rushed.

no one has to accept her apology, either. as a white person myself, im not one that should even be one to accept her apology. it wasnt an apology for me, and it isnt one for you, either (if you are white as you say but i might be misreading). people should not be painted in a negative light for not accepting her apology even if it were an amazing one.

the way some people are reacting to this situation is not okay, but she still did awful things that she should be held accountable for. the other guilty members of jackpot are not better than her, but theyve all still said fucked up things. none of them have done anything to prove they arent racist, and theres only more evidence coming out that proves that they have been, so its hard to process at the moment.

could things change? yes, of course, but as of right now, leafi has stated racist things as recent as 2024 and put out a poor apology trying to defend herself. people are handling it poorly and trying to make it about her identity and making memes on it when it is not the right thing to do. these racist claims are being put w/ other racist claims made by other jackpot team members so it was included in my tldr post about the entire situation.

i apologize for poor wording in this, im not the best w/ these kinds of posts