#i’m just exhausted to begin with | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autisticlenaluthor · 2 months ago

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please leave me alone about the whole CV thing i am so tired. im not trying to change anyone else’s opinions - im just saying what i think.

i know and understand what a CV is and i know and understand the purpose of that website. i’m allowed to think what i think and state my opinion on my own blog, even if it comes off as weird and off putting.

think what you think and share your opinions on your own platform but please leave me out of it bc you’re not going to change my mind

#i genuinely don’t care if you disagree with me - everyone is entitled to their own opinion #i’m just exhausted to begin with #also not trying to be rude or anything. i’m just #as i’ve said #really insanely tired #that being said anyone else who messages to tell me i’m wrong is getting blocked LMAO

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turtleblogatlast · 1 year ago

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We were robbed of a Hueso Jr. episode because good god I need he and Leo to interact.

I can just imagine an episode where a very busy Hueso has no choice but to ask Leo to babysit, and Leo’s like heck yeah I’d rock at that.

And of course Hueso is constantly like oh god what if something goes wrong that’s PEPINO he left with his CHILD.

So continuously throughout the episode he imagines the worst case scenarios for what could possibly be happening.

Every time Hueso imagines another catastrophic scenario the scene cuts back to Leo and Hueso Jr just calmly watching a movie or playing a game or something else equally as innocuous.

Eventually the worry gets to Hueso so much that he cuts his business short and races back home to see -

A peacefully sleeping Hueso Jr smiling as he lays snuggled up next to a shockingly quiet Leonardo.

He’s pleasantly surprised, and agrees to ask for Leo again next time he needs a babysitter.

Or, as it seems he may need to, when Hueso Jr. wants Leo to visit.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt hueso #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #you can also imagine this story as a two parter where the first is Hueso’s perspective where all he thinks will go wrong actually don’t #meanwhile the second part is Leo’s perspective where an accidental portal mishap (not Leo’s fault this time!)#(Jr may or may not have snuck into his father’s office and grabbed a portal stone)#thus begins a chase where Leo pulls out all stops to make sure this shockingly slippery child is safe #at the end they’re both exhausted but on the top of a skyscraper and Hueso Jr is just like wow #so Leo is like you know what…I can do you one better #so he shows off the view from the Empire State Building that Jr never got the opportunity to experience #obviously the kid passes out when they get back but it’s the most fun he’s ever had #anyway I’m in my all Leo’s are good with kids agenda

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6ebe · 3 months ago

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Applying for 50 jobs within 12 months and not getting a single offer is almost an accomplishment woah I’m so talented x

#it’s killing me j wasted the last 3 months of my life working full time unpaid (internship)#and I was like. j need to suck up this bc it’ll get me a job #and I’ve applied to 25 jobs since starting this internship and I have not succeeded in getting a job #I just want to kms I’m ngl #my current org has offered me a full time job buy for a salary that’s literally minimum wage #so. that’s pretty fucking crap #I applied to 25 jobs in the last month while working full time . like I am so exhausted #I had an interview yesterday morning literally the morning of my grandmas funeral and just got emailed now that I haven’t gotten the job #yknow? I’m just heartbroken at this point #and I still have 1 week left working this internship and there’s literally no point #I was literally a middle level manager in this current job for no pay even worker across a weekend once #and it’s literally for nothing 🤣🤣🤣#I have a masters degree !! and 4 months of full time work experience and another several years worth of working part time #it’s not like I’m one of those grads who’s never worked a day in their life #and like i know no one can get a job these days. like barely any of my friends have anything #but money is beginning to become a little terrifying. so shelving the corporate applications and time to go back to being a barista again #not that I’m even guaranteed getting a job in that.#just spent a week living with a friend in Boston who IS employed straight out of undergrad for a rly cool nonprofit #literallt living my dream yknow what that rly challenged my ability to just be happy for my friends #I just don’t know how I keep on going like this tbh

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thecampbellclub · 6 months ago

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i need some drunk sad hughie on the edge of the gun after robins death for morale boost

#hughie campbell #he would be standing there in a haze holding her arms #for hours because he won’t let anyone take them #he won’t say what happened because he can’t comprehend it #his favorite hero as a kid just killed his future wife and his mind is shattered #the ambulance is called for hughie and his father comes #hugh is the only one who can get through to his son #but even then #hughie won’t let go of her arms until his dad physically tears them from his hands #and hughie collapses and his dad scoops him up #they take him to the hospital but he’s clealyy in severe shock #so he’s not speaking at all besides small whispers and sobs that are intelligible #when hugh takes him home he just wants to go to bed but hugh is concerned hughie may hurt himself #which isn’t incorrect #he leaves the door open and in the middle of the night sort of comes to #and he can’t handle it #he can feel her blood under his fingernails #even though they’d practically scrubbed him clean at the hospital #so he raids the liquor cabinet #like he’s a child sneaking booze from his parents #his dad finds him the next morning still hammered beyond belief and sick over a bowl he dragged from the kitchen cabinets #hugh isn’t sure how to help so he just sits by his son and rubs his back as he’s sick #because what are you meant to do when that happens to your son?#hughie clings onto his dad and scream sobs until he finally finally begins to feel the claws of exhaustion weighing on him #he sleeps on the sofa for the forserable future because everything reminds him of her #and hugh feels safer knowing hughie is in eyesight and not behind a door in the hallway where it’s less obvious to know if hughie is safe #hugh takes to sleeping in the love seat by the sofa to keep an eye on him #hughie knows what he’s doing and appreciates it but he can’t help but feel like a burden #i’m gonna perhaps write this

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oheck-trainwreck · 8 months ago

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Thanks for the memories Bad

Thanks for the memories Dapper, and Pomme, and Richas

Thanks for the memories eggies and admins

Thanks for the memories CCs

Thanks for the memories update admins, and builders, and every every everybody who helped with this project so far.

Here’s to what we had, and here’s to everything that’s yet to come.

Here’s a couple songs. I can’t particularly explain why they’re here, but you can probably extrapolate. Words are hard right now.

#they kinda make me feel like things are gonna be okay but also cry #here’s to endings and beginnings and opportunities and mostly goodbyes that are really just see you laters #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp dapper #qsmp pomme #qsmp richas #song recs #kinda #I dunno I can’t really form a coherent thought right now I’m emotionally physically and mentally exhausted #how it ends from big fish is also good #I hurt #Spotify

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vvyrmwood · 11 months ago

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anyone else feel like. super guilty asking to spend time with friends. like u’d be wasting their time or it’d be like. bad if u asked. ough

#this is probably just an extension of ‘im not worth the same time and effort other people are afforded’#but also since the beginning of this year i’ve felt more and more like. I’m not interesting enough to spend time with even #why would anyone want to spend time with me. im only worth spending time with when i can do things for others #and i exhaust myself trying and trying but i have to keep doing it bc if i stop then #i think i would just be alone bc who is going to want to spend anytime with me if i’m not constantly giving something

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why-bless-your-heart · 1 year ago

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The Sleepy Tireds.

#They changed where I work with exactly one (1) day of notice and I haaaaaaaate it #I have to work closely with a woman who is. exhausting.#It’s not her fault. but she is an External(tm) thinker. and she and I do Not Have The Same Priorities.#the place itself sucks. I was just beginning to get into a routine at the previous place and now I can’t find where the bathrooms are.#It’s awful and I’m having a miserable time of it.

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vulturvolanss · 2 years ago

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ngl as an autistic person I look at how ppl treat alhaitham and go yeah none of you would like him if he wasn’t hot. and it makes me sad. like at this point I wish he was a little weird looking or something so that people would just. leave him alone. not subtle constantly making him a robot in aus or treating him like he’s violent or cruel or any sort of mean when that’s just patently not true. y’all see a guy that doesn’t bother masking and says things like “I want everyone to live the lives they want to live” and say he’s a bastard

#octopondering #people are out here missing the entire point of his character #admitting they just hate him #and use him purely as shipping fuel. and it makes my blood BOUL #*boil #ka/veh is out here exploding in frankly ugly anger if you phrase things not the way he wants it #and people aren’t making posts about HIM saying they hate him/wish violent things on him #I dunno. this isn’t about anything in particular this is just about almost a year of seeing shit I didn’t want to #alhaitham ain’t perfect but god he’s a good person still #emphasis on PERSON.#anyway. this is just exhausted rambling I just. yeah. there’s a lot of pent up rage about how people treat him versus his roommate #if you think alhaitham is cruel or heartless or robotic or anything other than a flawed but genuine person you didn’t read/listen to the aq #or his character stories #or his voice lines #just. yeah. never been this fiercely protective of pixels in my life but as usual the genshin fandom sucks and makes me fume #OH YEAH. PPL ARE ALSO DECIDING TO ARGUE THAT HES RACIST. WHICH IS SO WRONG I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO FATHOM THE REACH.#you are allowed to just dislike characters. dont have to justify it esp if it’s made up #anyway. rant over it’s just 2 am and I’m thinking

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fireladybuckley · 11 months ago

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If just like ONE thing could go smoothly today, that’d be fucking great 🙃

#I am so tired #the business with my wound care is so complicated and confusing right now #every time I think things are going better they get worse #it’s been 5 months #I just want to see SOME indication that it will heal at some point….#because right now I’m losing hope that I’ll ever be able to take a bath or go swimming again #or you know #not shower with a plastic bag taped over my leg #or be exhausted literally all the time because my body is constantly trying and failing to heal #tired doesn’t even begin to cover it tbh #personal #chronic wound #sigh

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rachiller · 1 year ago

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One thing I am NOT looking forward to about going home for Christmas is having to watch my little brother get misgendered and deadnamed and having to constantly correct my parents about it/not being able to do anything re: my grandparents bc I think he’s technically still not out to them. Anyway here’s to three straight days of referring to him as ‘the child’ and ‘munchkin’ around company like I did when he was only out to me and I didn’t want to deadname him lmaooo

#like this is 100% not about my feelings #I love that little twink so much I hate how hard it is for him #I just want him to be able to live and experience life without transphobia and ignorance is that so much to ask 🤧🤧🤧#like if it’s exhausting to me to constantly correct his name how must it feel for him 🙃#the nickname thing I will say as an aside worked so well #bc through our lives I have given him annoying nicknames so when I did it to avoid using his deadname without it being weird #it worked SO well no one batted an eye it was normal Rachel behaviour #it was definitely still difficult for me to adapt though #like it’s a lot more natural now to use male pronouns (bc technically he’s more nb but he loves it when I use male pronouns and when I call #him my brother he LOVES it)#but in the beginning it’s a constant conscious effort to not use the wrong pronouns/wrong name #I had a dream a while ago that I misgendered him quite badly and I woke up feeling awful and had to text him to tell him about it lmao #like ‘I dreamt I misgendered you and I feel awful I’m sorry I love you’

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sriya-lenka · 1 year ago

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the listening to a snippet of holding on to heartache live to having a breakdown because you’re not doing well pipeline is so real

#being mentally ill is so exhausting #it’s just that. i love so many things #i’ve loved life. and i still do #but it’s like a fucking conflict on my brain where i feel too much and also i feel numb #where i can still feel the love for the things i love but there’s an invisible wall that’s not allowing me to just love and enjoy things #and it’s spreading to everything. the music. the people. the aspirations. my career. hobbies #my brain keeps finding faults to everything and i’m afraid i’ll end up spiraling and completely unhappy #and how can i even begin to explain the exact feelings i feel?#i’m just so tired #i can’t stop crying but hey at least that’s something huh

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piningbuddies · 2 years ago

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oof the emotions have been hitting today out of nowhere 🤡 grief is no joke fellas

#rebecca rambles #grief stuff #i’ve just been exhausted and emotional about everything like i was literally stood in the shower and started sobbing out of nowhere #i’m also due my period but i am beginning to acknowledge i have a lot of Big Emotions going on rn

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cowardstiel · 2 years ago

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11:30pm night b4 my bday (✌️)and i’m holding back tears bc i’ll never be 22 and listening to taylor swift 22 again. now i really will be feeling like i’m 22 which is still a slay but i’m just lamenting the passage of time ig

#diagnose me #this is so stupid but im legit sobbing now #this past 12 months has just been not my year but also the most Me i’ve felt in a long time so #ur twenties really are soooo fucked up so many highs and so many lows she was sooo right anyway speak now tv will fix me #i just like don’t even recognise who i was before very recently and idk if that’s a common experience for people or what #but i just went down to bed and went haha half an hour left of feelin like im twenny two oo oo oo and then realised that this is the last #time :( idk lol !! this year’s anthem is what’s my age again (nobody likes you when you’re 23) which feels appropriate #anyway imma keep dancing like im 22 🔫🔫🔫 so it doesn’t even matter #feeling 22 is a FEELING #this obv isnt abt the song it’s abt what it represented yanno. like i so distinctly remember marking the beginning of the year with it so it #feels very big to me #my post #anyway i’m exhausted so this makes no sense imma go sleep now xxx gnoight

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a-high-femme · 2 years ago

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rant in tags bc I want to sob into a pillow

#I can’t describe to you guys what my job is like. I know I post ridiculous funny stuff but it’s very rarely funny in the moment #I’m a substitute teacher‚ which means that even though I’m in the building EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR #and even though I’ve known most of these kids since LAST DECEMBER (2021)#they just. don’t fucking listen to a word I say #it took 14 minutes and a dean of students in the room with me today to get one of my classes to stop talking over/ignoring me #and I’m not even yelling at them‚ I’m literally trying to 1.) say ‘good afternoon folks!’ and 2.) tell them what the assignment is #all day long I’m ignored and disrespected by the same kids and there are no consequences because this is a charter school #and day after day I’m also disrespected by staff because I’m ‘just a sub’ and you #everyone keeps calling out of work #we finally filled the last VACANCY we had TWO WEEKS AGO. we’ve been down 3 full time teachers since the beginning of the year #and as of two weeks ago we finally filled the last vacancy. so I could go back to JUST substituting.#but today the 7th grade ELA teacher just gave us his one-week notice which means that now that I am the ONLY BUILDING SUB #(we started the year with 3‚ now it’s just me)#I have this terrible suspicion that I’m gonna get stuck with 7th grade ELA for the rest of the year. while trying to do grad school.#I just… I’m exhausted all the time #and I act like I’m not but I am #this job is so demeaning and exhausting and I love my students (specifically my 8th graders and high schoolers)#but I’m not gonna see them for the rest of the year. I’m gonna be stuck in 7th grade ELA I just know it #when I say that the middle school is like an active war zone I’m not joking #I had to stop a kid from choking out his classmate today #I leave work every day with headaches because it’s always so fucking loud‚ even in the middle of lessons #I want my old job back‚ this year has been exhausting and I don’t know how I’ve ended up taking on so much more than I’m supposed to #I covered 6 out of 7 periods again this week. the most that any full time teacher has to teach is 4 out of 7 #and the subbing coordinator keeps giving me the heaviest coverage loads and then telling me he’s ‘disappointed’ by how tired I am #he also gave every single person on the subbing team specific shoutouts in his daily emails… except me #tldr I’m feeling disrespected by students and overworked by my coordinator and undersupported by admin and taken for granted by coworkers

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heyitsphoenixx · 2 years ago

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living with my mother is like well if I leave my room to get food I will have to endure the equivalent of being stabbed repeatedly while being bombarded by ranting and raving about the same five work problems she’s had for the last three years making me feel like I’m insane bc she won’t fucking quit and also being told I’m wrong for believing that good men exist while she actively does not believe that I’m not a girl so like. is a granola bar worth it

#also CONSTANTLY joking with my brother about how fat and disabled people don’t deserve to work and shouldn’t be allowed to live essentially #like I’m beginning to really hate them and I don’t want to #like I try to say things once and a while like hey that’s really shitty to say and this is why #but it’s like neither of them care about anyone at all #they just don’t fucking care about ANYTHIGN #it’s exhausting

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reverie-starlight · 2 months ago

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anxiety is so stupid and I hate it

#rev rambles #tw panic attack #getting anxious over poor sleep -> anxiety making my sleep habits worse -> panic attack begins JUST as I’m abt to fall asleep #ew #what’s worse is that I need to rationalize my anxiety immediately #otherwise I assume something is seriously wrong with me #‘I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and certain things trigger it’ apparently isn’t valid #i have to go through my whole week leading up to the panic attack to validate what I’m feeling #just so I don’t spiral into insanity over the IDEA of something being wrong #it’s exhausting #I’m exhausted but I’m too scared to lay back down and try to sleep bc I just got the fear regulated

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