#i’m extremely frustrated
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White people claim Central Asians as white, but the moment a group of Central Asians commit a terroristic attack, suddenly all Central Asians are terroristic churkas. So, what is it? Are we only white when it’s convenient, to make your nonexistent culture seem spicy and appropriate our food, clothing, and traditions? We’re so white, that they physically assimilate our language and stop us from speaking our native tongue because that’s the language of the barbaric savages. Ahh, got it.
#tater babbles#slur mention#i’m extremely frustrated#people are genuinely trying to argue if Tajiks are white when in the eyes of Russian people; they’re only poor Brown illiterate migrant#workers and in the eyes of the United States: they’re treated like West Asians#we’re so white that the genocides and invasions committed by russian tsarist soldiers is just white on white crime
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Rainworld fans when they don’t know how to interact with a female character without calling her a mother or a bitch: “yeah moons too boring :/// I like when she’s a bitch! Let her be mean!”
Moon very rarely displays anything beyond (Understandable) bitterness at her situation and some passive aggression. If you want to make aus or explore an alternate canon where she DOES act more “bitchy” go ahead. I support women’s wrongs. But I find it very disheartening that people see Moon’s sheer willpower, that she chooses to be kind again and again and again, as a weakness. As a “wrong” reaction to the situation she was put in.
I’m not gonna deny that some of her politeness is a hold over from etiquette back in the Ancients’ day. But I simply do not think her peace and kindness is wholly a weakness, or something subconscious she is unaware of. (OR uninteresting. In a world that is DESIGNED to make you feel small, a world designed to be unkind, having a character who chooses to be the opposite is SO interesting imo.) And I do not exactly think reading her angry moments as “bitchy” is a normal thing to do with the only prominent female character in the whole game.
#rain world#looks to the moon#rw lttm#this is more of a vague post than anything I’ve ever posted#if you posted a take like this and read this: I don’t hate you or anything#this is phrased in a very frustrated and cynical way but I’m so tired#you are allowed to dislike moon#find her uninteresting#etc#but I simply do not agree with the ‘popular’ reasons for viewing her as such#and I think it’s clear when people view her merely as an extension to a story centering her brother#instead of realizing rain worlds story (esp in vanilla) is very decentralized#just because moon is largely ‘static’ and her arc is less extreme than Pebbles’ is#it doesn’t mean she. doesn’t have one?
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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if i have to read one more published fantasy book that uses irl memes and online vernacular in its dialogue i’m taking away the toys until y’all can learn to respect yourselves. Not only does it break immersion in your world and detract from your characters having their own voices, it also makes you, the author, seem like a dim parrot incapable of neither original thought nor basic understanding of the passage of time
1) due to the timeline of publishing, any meme included will automatically be hopelessly dated by the time the story reaches readers and
2) it’s literally the same thing Ready Player One did. Hey look i’m pointing at a thing in pop culture. Did you get my reference? Did you get it? Let me list some more colors and shapes you recognize. Did you get it? And then Gideon Nav hit the dab or whatever. Hashtag Relatable!
It’s so painfully unfunny and uncompelling every time. We can do better. Apply some creativity to your own work
#writing#i love fantasy and every time i buy yet another newly published book i’m SO excited and hopeful#and then it’s just. garbage#the fourth wing is my latest DNF like my god how did this get published#every so often i’m like okay maybe the locked tomb series surely can’t be THAT bad?#and then i’ll see another excerpt or screenshot of the text and go ah. never mind#the use of meme slang has now become like the number one red flag of a truly stupid book#extremely frustrating. ah well be the change you want to see in the world#yap yap
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when you’re in a “shipping random white m|m/w|m ships to spite the bwwm ship” and your competition is every fandom ever like you guys fucking suck lmaoooo suddenly it’s no chemistry! heteronormativity! he’s gay and she’s a lesbian! platonic only! poor acting! she is an independent woman! even the elite ships aren’t safe for as soon as the girl looks physically different than their (usually book) canon counterpart, the people are up in arms. like suck my dick
#like genuinely I get so enraged when I see it bc it’s so fucking obvious#and I have to specify bwwm bc y’all are so sinister when it comes to those#gonna tag a few ships feel free if anyone sees more#a few of these aren’t even any ships I personally know about but I’ve seen how fandom treats them#and their actors (if applicable) by extension#percabeth#westallen#richonne#jacaela#jacaela is for my twitter homie bc hotd fandom talks crazy about bethany#katara isn’t black and I’m not qualified to speak on indigenous rep presented in atla but#extremely frustrating seeing how the brown girl on the show was vilified and misinterpreted to prop up her brother#I’m not even particularly passionate by a lot of these ships outside of like three but Jesus Christ I’ve seen the ugly#misogynoir#long post
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More Schmojo!! And I decided to name her dark matter friend living in her bubble rod, “Beauregard.” >:3
Plus some doodles I thought of during work, and a lighthearted poke at myself lol.
#like the adhd I have irl they are not evil or broken. just something that coexists alongside me.#I can yell and scream at it to go away and get frustrated at its existence#or I can learn to understand and cooperate with it so we can draw strength from each other#…..or something. hahaha they’re not true personifications of my diagnosis or anything but it’s just something I consider#like talking to myself almost haha. my inner thought process. and how I sometimes feel like I have two different halves to my personality.#not like I’m two faced tho!#like…. I experience opposite extremes of emotions sometimes#-twirls hair- can’t help being a Gemini!!#ANYWAY here’s more directors commentary for you#again they are not personifications of my diagnosis. I will throw both versions of my sona aro#*around my head like jumping beans teehee#kirbysona#art#Kirby series#Jojo T Schmo
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It annoys me how I talked about how nice the fandom was earlier this year, like I went on talking about how nice everyone was and how I loved being a apart of it, now it has left a real sour taste in my mouth seeing how much people hated on everyone and how toxic people can be
#I’m still pissed about how extreme everyone was with it all#like there was so much hate and people just being the worst#and it frustrates me#like I thought that everyone here was pretty nice#but my god some of the shit I was seeing was not it
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hmm. isn’t it funny how jimmy gets infantilized by the fandom so much. and how many of his traits could very easily be read as autistic. that’s so weird
#his frustration. extreme insistence on minor things#extremely exaggerated reactions. him Not Getting Things sometimes#his tendencies towards tunnel vision and priorities that aren’t in the same place as everyone else’s#hell even his ability to assess situations (i.e. southlands crumbling at the seams + time to get out) but not motivations#isn’t that weird? isn’t that wacky? isn’t that wild?#maybe i’m onto nothing. but this is the piss on the poor site so if so then i do get my wiggle room
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i don’t understand why people hate gale.
“he’s annoying” or “he talks too much” or “he’s too clingy and got offended when i was in a relationship” (which was a BUG, it takes two seconds to do some research before jumping to conclusions) are the most stupid reasons to actually hate a character.
he’s the one that has the warmest personality when you first meet him as well, so i just don’t get it?? i’m not saying you’re not allowed to dislike him, and this doesn’t apply to everyone, but SOMETIMES it feels like people just hop on a “hate bandwagon” because i see so many comments (especially on tiktok… where most of the people only started playing because it’s “trendy” now) about him that are the exact same as each other and it’s like people have lost the ability to think for themselves and form their own opinions after actually playing the game properly and learning about the characters.
so many people even go on about how it’s a turn off that he “doesn’t shut up about his ex”… like maybe actually continue playing the story to understand why it’s a significant conversation to have and why it’s a huge part of his character arc, and stop being weirdly bitter/jealous/annoyed when the man is also a VICTIM that has been manipulated and abused in a relationship with a massive power imbalance.
#gale#gale dekarios#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#the amount of people that have the audacity to pick up an extremely intense fantasy roleplaying game with ->#extremely deep and complex well-written characters but then don’t even bother TRYING to get to know them and ->#instead just reduce them to things they’re not is SO unbelievably frustrating#like if you’re going to be lazy why pick up the game#if you lack basic media literacy and don’t understand a single thing about character analysis why are you even bothering ->#to talk about the characters#sorry if that’s harsh but it’s exhausting#and fyi i’m specifically talking about toxic people who constantly hate on characters without understanding them#people are obviously allowed to dislike characters but when you’re spreading things that aren’t even true it’s wild#like how can you talk when you DO NOT UNDERSTAND#don’t even get me started on the literal BUG#people are out here saying gale is an obsessed creep that won’t leave you alone and it wasn’t even supposed to happen#and it’s not even just people who hate characters it’s also ones who are weirdly obsessed but still lack reading comprehension#cough those astarion fans that sexualise him and treat him like an object#do you even know how much his character would despise hearing you talk about him that way#like come on now#my posts
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Hahahaha that moment you open your story in Scrivener to read what you last wrote two months ago only to realize thousands of words are gone and there’s no sign they ever existed. (And I wrote them. I spent hours one evening working on them. I did.) There’s no version history. There’s no zipped backup files anywhere. Even my external harddrive that I could have sworn I backed it up on only has the older version. It’s as though half the story never existed.
#i’m certain something must have happened with all the transferring of files I’ve been doing between computers#apparently the backups usually save in the local folder of appdata and even that doesn’t exist#what’s weird is that#this didn’t happen with my other scrivener files#i assume the older version must have overwritten the more recent one somehow#at least it wasn’t an extremely important project. just something i was dabbling with.#but still. frustrating.#scrivener is gaslighting me lol
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2023 art summary ヽ(´w`) i ended up not posting most of my stuff for the latter half (yet) but i’m really happy with a lot of what i worked on!!!!!
#my art#art summary#2023 art summary#art school is actually so fun sometimes did you know that. i made so many fun comics and experimented with new stuff. sometimes i wasn’t#any good at what i tried but it’s still sooo rewarding when i improved even just a little. and it feels REALLY good#to be able to show off some skills or familiarity with materials that i use less often these days#bc i can show my marker or colored pencil drawings and my classmates who have only seen my digital stuff are excited about it sometimes :-]#bc i really just like working in a lot of different mediums and i’m really thankful that my love for art and art making hasn’t dwindled#even though of course i have dormant periods and times where i don’t feel like making art or i feel frustrated with what i am able to do#it always comes back around. just like how i always feel better whenever i feel depressed#and i just love art and colors and i love the world and the people in it and myself and all the people i have been#anyways i hope you all feel happy or you will soon hugs and kisses goodnight (extremely loud thunk on the floor)
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I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly expressive about liking Starkid on here. This is clearly a mistake.
#starkid#team starkid#nerdy prudes must die#workin boys#I watched both in the past two days or so#I’m going to be honest#I love the hatchetfield series#I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea in the SK fandom#and I do understand some frustration with it’s rather extreme presence#but I think TGWDLM is hilarious#Black Friday is severely underrated#seriously I think BF is phenomenal#and now NPMD is just an absolute bop#anyways now to make other text posts about NPMD
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Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well#i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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i cannot describe the visceral hatred i have for these fucking things. there arent any words.
#theghgh#ghhhgggghrrrrrr#they are. so frustratibgly close to being amazing#my extreme feelings come from frustration at the wasted potential#like. my god they both had so much potential#something went wrong though#something so fundamental it doesn’t feel like either has a soul#I think I’m being overdramtic and someone much smarter could explain the pros and cons#but for me it sends me into an indescribable rage#potatoe rambles
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were all just mentally ill about rei and i love it lmaooo
Yeah lmfaoooo like. Gosh dang. I think it’s just us three Rei fans against the world atp 😭🙏
#polar’s asks#edgymcfries#answered#I frankly don’t mind. and honestly with my busyness from school. it’s nice to be able to read these thoughts. or think about the silly yk#deeply poignant or philosophical thought. and it’s about Rei lmfao you know? like it’s nice to be able to apply any skills of analysis from#English class and apply it I guess#like hubris—and Volo. his ‘tragic flaw’ his pride taken to the extreme. causing such a disturbance that he goes against the gods themselves#A mere mortal playing God HIMSELF! that Arceus sends off some random kid to take care of. volo’s foil. (idk if Rei truly is that since it’s#been a moment since I’ve played pla. shushhhh). and how Rei was the very thing (as mentioned before by pecha) protecting their world from#utter destruction and ruin—being replaced by a better world. but who’s to say this would’ve even been ‘better’ who’s to say it wasn’t an#excellent excuse for Volo to have a power trip#manipulating the anger and frustrated emotions of giritna and the small instability the world was in. etc etc etc. there’s so much to be#said about these characters…#AND YET…. I can’t focus on getting started on Oedipus the king notes 😭🙏#so yeah. a weeeeee bit mentally ill. apologies for the late reply btw…. I twas napping. also sorry for yapping in the tags. I’m mentally ill
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