#i’m a cancer and WE!LOVE!LOVE
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the-combine-kisser · 2 years ago
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“Happy birthday Barney Calhoun-“ “oh it’s Barneys birthday-“ no it isn’t. It’s just the day blueshift came out. His real birthday is June 28th. He’s a fucking cancer. Get it right.
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irlplasticlamb · 2 years ago
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i’m so sorry if i seem a bit off or post less in the next week or so — i just found out my beloved 17 years old soulmate cat got diagnosed with bone cancer and he doesn’t have much time left. he lives in my family home with my parents still whilst i’m abroad so it’s double tough because i can’t be with him. i just need some time to calm down and make my peace with everything
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cunninghamchrissie · 1 month ago
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i know i’m a hypocrite for saying this bc i have a hard time remembering/believing it myself but ppl care abt you even if you’re not rly close and they just follow you online ok and ppl you can’t even imagine will miss you when you’re gone
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highspeedinterconnect · 6 months ago
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this week has been fucking awful I just wanna lay down somewhere quiet w my gf and cats. holy shit
#1. my painful wisdom tooth was found to have gnarly intricate hook that’s already grown into my sinus cavity.#so. removal and recovery and cost are going to make me explode already#2. my cat the next day was diagnosed with an aggressive type of cancer after we found a mass under her tongue that can’t be removed.#and is not realistic in cost vs the fact it’ll probably keep returning since it’s an area that’s difficult to fully remove.#she’s having a harder time eating and it’s just reminding me of the same thing that happened to my extremely beloved childhood cat.#same thing happened to her until she was just bones and couldn’t stop drooling. it’s so painful to feel the life leaving something you love#3. our motherfucking upstairs neighbor’s god damn water heater broke and flooded all the apts under but we’re directly underneath.#bro I woke up to water pouring from our CEILING LIGHTS and cracks all over the ceiling. I had to physically smash the smoke alarm#ripped it from the ceiling since it’s ceiling socket was LEAKING but it shorted out and wouldn’t stop so I ripped the battery out#our carpet and shit is all torn up now with industrial fans and dehumidifiers. but it’s scaring my sick cat to not eating. it’s so sad#4. a towing place I forfeited my old ruined car to keeps sending notarized legal letters about it ending up In Situations.#despite the fact I signed it all completely over and it’s no longer my responsibility#there’s more but I’m tired of typing all this shit#coffee shop forgot to give me my donut and the coffee tasted bad too. that part isn’t any big deal at all lol it just made me start crying
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madigoround · 7 days ago
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I just watched a quiet place day one for the first time thinking it would just be like a thriller/suspense and no one told me how steeped this movie is in guttural emotion. I’m over here crying over this monster movie and the display of true human emotion and tragedy and love it shows as if I haven’t seen a million apocalypse movies
#a quiet place day one#the way Sam goes from being a self described ‘mean person’ in the beginning and pretty obviously not wanting to form any bonds to include#how she was trying to get Eric to go to the boat for a while after they met#and she ends up accepting that he cares about her even if it’s just to make her lie#smile he looked so pleased with himself so proud when he was able to get her that pizza#and her giving him her dads cardigan that she clearly holds dearly#the way Eric is terrified of the water and Sam continually calms him down and reassures him it’s okay it’s going to be okay#even though they are both scared out of their minds and she is hurting so much#the way he goes out in an APOCALYPSE to get her meds and help her fend off the pain he goes out despite how utterly terrified he is to make#her that much more comfortable to slow the symptoms of the cancer even just a little bit#I truly gasped at that part it is so insane to me and kind#the way we don’t know if they discussed the plan before she sacrifices herself for him but if they didn’t he knows he can see it when she’s#giving Frodo to him and he looks like he’s about to have a break down like he is so heart broken not only that she would die regardless but#that she is sacrificing herself for him she is putting herself at danger of being ripped limb from limb for the chance that he will make it#are you joking? are you serious with this I’m so obsessed this story alone would have me utterly enamored but the emotion in their faces#the way they are able to convey the depth of their feelings and you can see in equal parts the despair they feel#and the love on a human level say what you will about how the love was meant to be conveyed if it’s romantic or friendly or whatever but you#can tell there is love they care for each other they consistently risk everything for each other#as human beings they decided they care about each other and they choose each other they choose to protect the other#I’m just so in love with it and I didn’t expect to care this much about a monster movie
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benechillax · 9 months ago
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my beautiful and amazing grandma living life to the fullest at age 88, not even 6 months before her sudden passing from lymphoma
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the-casbah-way · 1 month ago
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stupid family bullshit below the cut
i just found out that my dad had an older brother who died in a car crash when he was 11 and no one told us. apparently it was the entire reason my granddad was so sad and quiet all the time because it fucked him up forever
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newleavesinspring · 5 months ago
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So apparently my mom has been hallucinating me and talking to a blanket thinking it is me and this is certainly not!! Bringing up complicated feelings for me
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kuchipark · 1 year ago
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Literally not a single person in my friend group is good at gift giving.
We all tell the person we’re gonna give them a gift like a week in advance because we can’t control our excitement; usually we even tell them what it is, completely ruining the surprise. On birthdays nobody ever has gifts because we always wanna do something big that we end up forgetting to do or we’re broke because we spend all our money on weed/cigarettes.
And we make up for all this by randomly buying each other little things that we saw and reminded us of the other, paying for someone’s cigarettes/weed, or randomly giving away shit we have that the other likes, “You like it? You know what? Keep it.”
and I think that’s beautiful.
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yaminerua · 1 year ago
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my mum: stopped me at every opportunity I asked to come see my dying grandpa bc ‘you don’t want to see him like this’ even tho I already had seen him and he had been happy to see me after years estranged from that side of the family and I very much wanted to fit as much time with him in as possible before it was too late and in the end she blocked me from all of it
also my mum: you never came to see your grandpa, you don’t give a shit
and now my mum yet again: won’t let me come see my gran who has been losing weight and falling and breaking bones a lot and been in and out of hospital since being on her own. Didn’t let me go talk to gran when we were both at my great aunt’s funeral last year and so I never saw her and she only found out I was there through other people who saw me. Refuses every time I ask to see my gran, including now when I’ve got presents for her
also my fucking mum right now in the same breath as refusing to allow me to come over: you never come to see your gran, you don’t give a shit
make it make fucking sense jfc
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hazzabeeforlou · 2 years ago
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#hey guys I’m about to go to work but I’ve seen so many lovely tag comments on my harp covers#I saw one saying ‘how do you even end up in a position to be able to learn a harp!’#and I wanted to reiterate. the classical music world is incredibly steeped in classism and racism. it’s inherent#because most music is written by ethnic Europeans and stems from the origins of western music which is the Catholic Church#it was a major tool in colonialism and it’s adoption as a means to validity in a white supremecist system can be seen echoing in China’s#current fascination with western orchestral music. but they’re also subverting it by reimagining their own instruments in the orchestra#anyways that’s a rabbit trail but what I’m saying is#for some reason I asked to play the harp when I was three. my parents were working class and non musicians. my dad is Mexican. we used to#barter lessons for yard work and painting (thankfully my harp teacher was a wonderful woman who allowed that)#my dad took out a home equity loan to afford my first large harp#I got the one you see in the vids because a close friend of my teacher was dying of cancer and sold it at a loss to me#this is a field with SO many barriers#every single person I went to grad school with had money out their ears#I have a heap of student loans and currently no permanent harp job#I guess I’m saying. I wish access to instruments like mine was easier for everyone but it’s rare because it’s gatekept#so just keep that in mind. you could just have easily have been a harpist if the world were more equitable and fair#I’m always open to people reaching out and asking questions about the instrument and music in general#love u guys
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prisonhannibal · 3 months ago
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!! DONT SKIP !! donations urgently needed They are only at €5,561 out of €50,000 goal
I was contacted by Nader to draw pictures for and help spread his brother Abdulsalam Al-Anqar’s fundraiser to save their family. Nader is a 17 year old boy who lives in Gaza with his family: parents Ahmed (54) and mother Iman (49), brothers Abdulsalam (26), Mohammed (14), and Omar (21) and Abdulsalam’s wife and their one year old daughter Iman. Imagine it was your sibling, your friend, your son, who should be in school or with his friends, who instead has to hide from bombs and ask for help online to save his family. His family have suffered through one year of genocide. All of you are their hope to get to safety.
This fundraiser is vetted by @gazavetters, number four on the spreadsheet here
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Abdulsalams daughter Iman is only one year old and has lived most her life in a war zone. She is suffering from malnutrition. It’s every fathers worst nightmare to see their child starve and not be able to feed her. Please help him feed his daughter and get her to safety. No child should grow up hearing the sound of bombs. Every child has the right to food and safety. You can help give Iman the childhood she should have, where she can sleep in a safe bed at night with a full stomach.
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Their father Ahmed has cancer and needs surgery and medication. It is not possible to get the treatment he needs in Gaza. every day his illness is left untreated, the cancer will continue to spread through his body, so he very urgently needs money for treatment and travel. If you help them get to their goal, you are saving their fathers life. Don’t let this family who have already lost so much lose their father, husband, and grandfather
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Nader has showed me pictures of this explosion close to them, thankfully they were able to get away. Every day they stay in Gaza their lives are at risk from israeli bombs. Every day and hour counts. I know there are compassionate and kind people who are willing to help. every euro helps, YOUR donation will bring them one moment closer to safety. With love and hope I’m asking you to give what you can, I believe in the kind people of the world and I beg you to not let them die. If you can’t donate, please share so it may reach people who can.
Never forget that palestinians are not numbers on a list of deaths. Please think of each of them, think of their names and faces and know that you can help them. I think of them every day. I think of the hopes and dreams they should achieve, I think of their education, their future, and the love they show when they work hard every day to get help. You may feel powerless to stop this genocide, but you have the power to save Abdulsalam and his family. I dream that the day will come soon where they may use their days to rest and recover from what they’ve been through, where they can share a meal and laugh and the children will play, instead of having to use their time to beg the world to listen and help them. We can make this possible.
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50 000 euros is a lot of money for one person to give, but for all of us together, it can be done. Please don’t look away.
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(drawing above by @neechees)
Thank you for reading their story. Please don’t keep scrolling without sharing
here is the link again to their fundraiser
tagging for reach:
@90-ghost @heritageposts @gazavetters @neechees @butchniqabi @fluoresensitive @khanger @autisticmudkip @beserkerjewel @furiousfinnstan @xinakwans @batekush @appsa @nerdyqueerr @butchsunsetshimmer @biconicfinn @stopmotionguy @willgrahamscock @strangeauthor @bryoria @shesnake @legallybrunettedotcom @lautakwah @sovietunion @evillesbianvillain @antibioware @akajustmerry @dizzymoods @ree-duh @neptunerings @explosionshark @dlxxv-vetted-donations @vague-humanoid @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @sar-soor @northgazaupdates2 @feluka @dirhwangdaseul @jdon @ibtisams @sawasawako @memingursa @schoolhater @toesuckingoctober @waskuyecaozu
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cemeretydrive · 5 months ago
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THEY ARENT PLAYING CANCER AT WWWY?!?
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winter-hoof · 6 months ago
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My boyfriend’s mom passed away this morning.
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tekra-brings-the-rain · 1 year ago
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Love Palestine more than you hate Israel. Love trans people more than you hate transphobia. Love the poor more than you hate the rich.
Always love who you fight for more than you hate those who you fight against. Otherwise when the Uniting Enemy is gone, you might start to hate as well.
Anger is part of revolution, but love is too.
Edit: Some people are misunderstanding this post so let me clarify. I do not mean you should not be angry at them, in fact I believe you should be very angry, I mean there needs to be some love in the mix so your anger won’t be manipulated. If your *only* driving force is anger then that anger can be flipped around to hate the very people you are trying to help. This is why a lot of media uses anger, it’s a powerful emotion. But as I said, if all you got is how mad you are at one person and not how much you care about someone else a shock inducing headline about the “barbaric Palestinians” can pull you in.
Edit 2: Since this got popular, I’m linking fundraisers below:
https://ko-fi.com/ahmedsaad94
https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-abdelaziz?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=poster
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-my-family-to-evacuate-from-gaza-to-egypt?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
https://www.gofundme.com/f/yosef-get-out-of-gaza-and-get-treatment-for-cancer
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-my-family-leave-gaza-and-arrive-canada?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter
https://www.gofundme.com/f/tppkcj-evacuate-aboods-family-from-gaza-to-safety
I do not want to derail from Palestine but I also ask you donate to this fundraiser as well
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lizardho · 3 months ago
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I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
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