#i’m 80% sure i put my main blog down when i signed up. if not. let me know i’m sorry

[locustime]

horns are the perfect place to put christmas lights, if you ask Zed and Gem!

@dot-moth @mcytblrholidayexchange

no snow:

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x02

Lol, one episode in and we already have a recap. Man, I do not miss the days of having to wait for reruns to see an episode you missed of whatever show you like.

Oh man, throwback tech! I remember those Nintendo DS consoles and videophones. Also, the kid in the bandana looks like a Power Ranger to me but I can’t remember which one. Tommy? The red ranger? Fuck if I can remember, but he always looks familiar.

There’s a podcast I’ve been listening to recently called The Hidden Djinn that goes into the actual lore about Djinn and how they’re super offended by people peeing on trees and whatnot. I dunno if Wendigos are related to Djinn, but it makes sense if they are and went after these guys for pissing in the woods.

I like that Sam didn’t bring her regular store bought roses. The bouquet he got is really pretty. Poor Sam. Also, why does everyone from the mid-80s have the middle name of Lee? (I also have the middle name Lee and I’ve known a ton of other people who have it too.)

Aww, back when Dean actually offered to let Sam drive once in a while before deciding that it was not a thing that needed to happen. (I will forever be salty about Cas never getting to drive Baby...)

“Dad will have answers. He’ll know what to do.” Oh man, you can hear young as fuck Dean having to say the same thing after a couple weeks in a motel to keep Sam calm.

“It’s no nature hike, that’s for sure.” Sam. Sam, honey. IT’S THE GODDAMN FOREST WITH A FUCKING TRAIL YES IT’S A NATURE HIKE. I’m fine.

Fuck you Mr park ranger guy.

“Since when are you all shoot first and ask questions later anyway.” Right? Sam turning down a chance to study or do research? Bad sign.

I’ve seen this episode so many times that I can’t remember if this actress who plays the sister is actually familiar only from this show or from something else I watched around this time. I don’t care enough to look it up, but eh. Again with the 100% realistic middle class wardrobe and styling here for the time.

“Can I see the pictures he sent you?” There we go Sam! That’s more like you.

Watching this scene where Sam is pulling out all of his research and laptop and infodumping about the case... yeah, Sam girls definitely didn’t get enough of this in the later seasons. Yes, he was the research guy, but it was more of a check a box to justify having him in the scene kinda thing and less of this genuine excitement? Maybe I’m still just burned out from the finale.

Definitely Sam with his magic wifi powers working right here. No bars in 2005 would have free fucking WiFi.

This interview with the guy who was attacked by the “bear” when he was a kid reminds me viscerally of a scene in the X-Files. After looking it up, it reminds me of the scene in season one “Tooms” (spooky as FUCK episode) where Mulder and Scully interview a detective who worked one of the old murder cases and his place was set up super similar to this guys house. From what I remember.

“There’s something evil in those woods.” That’s definitely true.

Why was there a crying baby in the “corporeal” bickering scene?

“Now we gotta babysit too?” Man, this scene is so good. I reblogged a couple metas from other people doing rewatches of this scene to my main blog. I think I’ll post them here too to capture my thoughts because it’s SUCH a good exchange.

Yeah Dean, a fucking ranger drives a classic car into the forest. Uh huh. HOW is this always overlooked? Does Baby have “I am not the droid you’re looking for” powers to go with Sam’s WiFi?

These kids are having a bad fucking day.

“Whatcha doin, Roy?” Love that. “You should watch where you’re steppin’, Ranger.” YES BITCH.

“You didn’t pack any provisions.” Excuse you he has M&MS! Lol

Sam. I don’t know if you know this, but crickets don’t make a fuck of a lot of noise iN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN DAY. Also, why would a “ridge” be in the middle of a fucking valley?

Lol, Sam JUST got finished telling Haley to shut up and Dean starts shouting too.

Bobby taught you guys to track things through the woods but not to look for bear traps? Or wear proper shoes? Idjits.

I wonder how many creatures on the planet can mimick human calls for help. I know there are some who sound like humans crying out when they call out. Peacocks sound fucking possessed. So do coyotes.

Why would you put your bags down in the middle of a crime scene anyway?

Sam busting out the bitchface when he points out they’re hunting a Wendigo.

[copyrightcreep]

A L L T H E A S K S

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My girlfriend!!!!

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Pretty shy.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My friends and family it’s dnd day!

4. Are you easy to get along with? I think so yea.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I believe so yes.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

The kind that takes cae of me zsexdcfvg.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I have all the faith i will.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A housemate.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda it’s akward at least.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Ooh one of my caretakers.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

It’s a heart.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

In no order cause i can’t choose: supposed to be by icon fo hire, counting on me by smash into pieces, gasoline by halsey, bad rabbit by tryhardninja and fade away by mandopony.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yes please.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Maybe.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I get to move to a better place!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Duh don’t need to ask me.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Absolutely there’s too much out there to no have other life.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Yeah she’s one of my closest friends.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yeah .

20. Do you like your neighbors?

they’re alright.

21. What are you bad habits?

Doubting myself.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Greece/Rome.

23. Do you have trust issues?

I trust too easily does that count.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Texting my sweetheart.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Uh everything? My hair mostly.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Put on my glasses and text my girlfriend.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I don’t mind either i like it how it is now though.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My girlfriend.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

don’t have any.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

YES.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

No XD.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Not sure uwu.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

brfhyswnnhasw

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nope.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV i love music too much.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Nope.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Anything that comes to mind.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Kind, caring, won’t hestitate to show emotions, will love me for who i am.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

The action and the jumbo.

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Culinary schooool.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Mostly yeah.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i’m either overthinking or sad (staring and fidegeting) or very content. (humming and smiling with my eyes closed)

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yup.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space for sure!

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My hunger.

46. What are you paranoid about?

The dark.

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope!

48. Have you ever been drunk?

And nope!

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Not recently no.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Uuuuh gray i think. it’s been a while.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Loads of times.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My personality to be less annoying.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

N o n e.

54. Favourite store?

Action.

55. Favourite blog?

Plastic pipes.

56. Favourite colour?

Orange.

57. Favourite food?

Lasagne.

58. Last thing you ate?

A chocolate cookie.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Grilled cheese sandwich.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Almost but not quite.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nevaaah.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Also never.

63. Ever been in love?

Am right now.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

So my (now gilfriend) and i just wanted kisses and cuddles and we decided to get it from eachother. So we talked about it. decided it together. And she kissed me in her jacuzzi. My heart was beating like crazy and i was so happy for days.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Very much so.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I can’t decide between friends.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Sanne, Joyce, Valdemar and Jenn.

71. Craving something? What?

panini’s.

72. What colour are your towels?

Yellow and all kinds of colors.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

1 oversized and 1 normal one.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Around 20 at least.

75. Favourite animal?

Sheep and cows.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cookie dough.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Light grey.

80. What colour pants?

No pants we die like heroes.

81. Favourite tv show?

Supergirl/She-ra.

82. Favourite movie?

Venom

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Haven’t watched either.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Haven’t watched either.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

haven’t watched it.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The giant turtle and Dori.

87. First person you talked to today?

Text? My girlfriend in person? A caretaker.

88. Last person you talked to today?

Text? My girlfried. In person? A caretaker.

89. Name a person you hate?

Kyle.

90. Name a person you love?

Alex and Joyce.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Myself?

92. In a fight with someone?

Nope.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

6 or 5.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

1 i get warm easily.

95. Last movie you watched?

Batman the dark knight rises.

96. Favourite actress?

Chyer Leigh and Nicole Maines.

97. Favourite actor?

Stephen Amell.

98. Do you tan a lot?

I think so.

99. Have any pets?

Yep! A hamster named spike.

100. How are you feeling?

Tired and hungry but pretty good.

101. Do you type fast?

Average i think.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Lots of things.

103. Can you spell well?

I think so yeah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah...

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nope!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I hope not :(.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

YES horses are amazing.

108. What should you be doing?

Sleeping.

109. Is something irritating you right now?

My ear.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yeah.

111. Do you have trust issues?

I already answered this one lmao but yes i trust too easily.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

A caretake i think.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

It was and still is Bry

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yup!

115. Do you play the Wii?

Yeah don’t own one though.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Alwaayyys.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yass.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

A lot yes.

119. Favourite book?

Drakenrijders.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Yeah.

121. Are you mean?

I don’t think i am.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

NO!

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell no.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yea.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yep. With my sweety i sure do.

126. Are you currently bored?

Nope.

127. What makes you happy?

Food, my girlfriend, reading, cooking.

128. Would you change your name?

i’m thinking about it but probably not.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Leo!

130. Do you like subway?

Never had it!

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Let him down gently.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Answered this one too but a caretaker.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

i’d do everything to ride with you.

134. Can you count to one million?

With enough time probably yeah.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

That i was a boy.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed ain’t anyone going in my room.

137. How tall are you?

Too tall acording to my gf.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

A mix of both my hair can’t decide what it wants.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

October.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Respect for people who ae but no.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk and white.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Yes!!!

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

you’re so thick. You’re mister thick thick thickety from thickenia. And so’s your dad.

-10th doctor.

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

Schaal en -schelpdieren.

welp there we have it lots of information about me!

[ciathyzareposts]

Game 39: Dog Star Adventure (1979)

The title screen. Note, if you will, the masterful use of negative space.

Before I kick things off, I should mention that I’ve completely redone all the Final Ratings, and converted them to the new RADNESS Index (standing for Righteous Admirability Designation, Numerically Estimating Seven Scores).  I’m pretty pleased with how it’s turned out, and I feel like it’s a much better representation of the relative quality of the games I’ve played.  The top games remain mostly unchanged, but there was a lot of shuffling at the bottom that put the worst games where they belong.  Check out the link on the sidebar if you care about my arbitrary ranking scheme.

*  *  *  *  *

About a month ago, I played Battlestar, a game that culminated in a lightsaber duel with a thinly veiled Darth Vader.  No doubt Star Wars was still in the zeitgeist in 1979, because Vader is back in the game I’m writing about today, Dog Star Adventure.

Oh, sorry, it’s not Darth Vader, it’s “General Doom”.  Doom and his Roche Soldiers are preparing an attack on the Forces of Freedom, and they’ve captured Princess Leya and taken her to one of their battle cruisers.  Geez lads, couldn’t you have tried a bit harder?  Obviously, this game is nicked from the middle third of Star Wars (and no, I’m not going to call it A New Hope, I’m using the movie’s real name).  Intellectual property concerns were definitely not a thing in the gaming community in the late 70s.

Dog Star‘s creator was Lance Micklus, who’s been featured on the blog before as the author of Treasure Hunt, currently languishing near the bottom of my RADNESS Index.  That game was more of a mapping exercise in the style of Hunt the Wumpus, with some light adventure game elements based on inventory.  Dog Star is a proper text adventure.  Reading up on Micklus, I’m surprised to see how prolific he was around this time.  Not only did he create the games above, but he also made a bunch of boardgame adaptations, utilities for programmers, financial software, and a port of the Star Trek game that was such a big deal on the mainframes.  The dude’s got a resume.

Dog Star Adventure was released commercially circa March 1979 for the TRS-80.  At about the same time its code was published in SoftSide, in the issue cover dated May 1979.  This is it’s main claim to fame; as the first text adventure to have its code publicly released it served as a reference point for loads of future game creators.  Micklus never made another text adventure after this, but his creative DNA will be seen in a bunch of games as I progress forward in my chronology.

I couldn’t find the cover to the commercial release, so here’s the cover of the SoftSide issue.

The article accompanying the code in SoftSide gives the backstory to the game.  General Doom has captured Princess Leya aboard her spaceship, as I mentioned above.  They also took a chest containing Melidium crystals, which apparently comprise the entire treasury of the Forces of Freedom.  Leya was also wearing a Shinestone necklace, and encoded in one of the stones is the location of the rebel base.  The player takes the role of a character (presumably a member of the Forces of Freedom) who has stowed away on board her ship.  The goal of the game is to rescue the princess from Doom’s battle cruiser, find the two treasures, and escape.  So yeah, it’s another treasure hunt, but at least this one’s wrapped up in a rescue mission.

The game starts with the player inside the ship, aboard the battle cruiser.  For anyone who’s played a Scott Adams adventure, the style and tone here are very familiar.  As usual, I went through my adventure game preparation routine.  First I checked my inventory, and discovered that I was carrying nothing.  Second, I typed SCORE, and learned that there are 215 points to earn before I can beat the game.  I also tested movement, and was surprised that the standard NESW abbreviations weren’t implemented.  To move around I had to type the full words NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, WEST, UP and DOWN.  Also, I had to use INVEN instead of a simple “I” to check my inventory.  I figured those abbreviations were pretty universal by this point, but not here.  (I also spent a good minute or so wondering why none of my commands were working, until I realised that I had the Caps Lock off.  The game doesn’t register anything unless it’s in all caps.)

User friendliness is big in the future.

There were only two rooms inside the ship: the cockpit and the storage compartment.  The cockpit had a launch button, but pressing it did nothing.  Storage was empty, but I figured that this was where I’d need to bring any treasures I found.  With nothing else to do, I left the ship to explore the battle cruiser.

North and east I found a Vault, but when I tried to enter a voice asked “who goes there?”.  I answered GENERAL DOOM, but apparently I wasn’t fooling anyone because I was swarmed with Roche Soldiers and imprisoned.  That was a game over, but it was worth a crack.

West of the Vault I found a research lab, with a slightly confusing layout (including a room description that simply says “I’m Lost”.  I found a laser gun in one of the labs, and took it with me.

Heading north I passed through a computer room, where a TRS-80 was happily whirring away.  This is fairly consistent with Star Wars, which has a sci-fi setting where the computer displays haven’t progressed past vector graphics.  A message on the monitor read >> CSAVE TAPE <<.  I tried that message as a command and was told that I wasn’t carrying any blank tape, so I made a mental note to try and find some.

Further north was a test laboratory, where I found an ID card, a cloaking device, and something called a “turboencabulator”.  Also in the lab was an “evil-looking” scientist, which is kind of a shitty assumption to make.  Still, he looked evil so I tried to shoot him with the gun I’d found earlier, only to be told “I’m not carrying a BLASTER”.  Dude, I have a LASER, isn’t that good enough?  Apparently not, because while I was trying to pull the trigger the scientist called for the guards, and it was game over once more.

Getting transferred to cell block 1138.

On the next game I tried exploring south, along the flight deck.  I found some anti-matter fuel, as well as a sign that read >> NEEDS TURBO <<; this was probably a reference to the turboencabulator in the test lab.  Exploring east I came to a supply depot, said to contain “all kinds of things”, which I left without exploring too much.  South of that I came to a decontamination room and an interrogation room, where I found Princess Leya’s cape, and the Shinestone necklace, one of the treasures I was looking for.  I’d thought that it would be better guarded, honestly.

My good fortune was short-lived, because I soon stumbled into a strategy room, and a guard who called for help.  Game over number three…  I really needed to find that blaster.

Exploring further I found a lounge, with a McDonald’s hamburger on the table.  I guess “long, long ago” doesn’t apply here.  Nearby was a bathroom with some graffiti, some of which read >> SAY SECURITY <<.

Climbing up from the bathroom led into a maze of pipes, which was really only two areas that looped back on themselves a whole lot, and not at all difficult to navigate.  In one of the rooms I found a map of the battle cruiser which I couldn’t read, apparently because I’m not a cartographer.

Eventually I found my way down from the pipe maze and into the jail.  There were two empty cells, and another that was locked.  Without a key I left the jail and found a security desk manned by an attack robot.  Beyond the robot was an elevator, but he wasn’t letting me past.

I was a little stumped at this point, so I resorted to the HELP command, which gives you hints in various locations.  In this case it said “Did you bring anything to eat?”  I had the hamburger in my possession, so I tried FEED ROBOT.  Sure enough, he took the burger and I was allowed to pass.  I really should have thought of this, because feeding has been one of the most common solutions in these games.  Anyway, the elevator just looped back to the interrogation room, so it seemed that I was out of places to explore.

Wait did I just feed that robot a citizen of Hamberg, North Dakota?

At that point a guard wandered in, and I was captured.  There are randomly occurring guards who pop up occasionally, and if you don’t have the means to kill them it’s a game over.  I generally dislike random elements like these in adventure games, but in this case it’s not so bad once you have the solution.  Before that, it’s a real pain.

I’d pretty much exhausted my options, and it was obvious that I needed to find a blaster so I could kill the various personnel that were blocking my progress.  I thought I’d found the password necessary to get into the vault (SAY SECURITY), and it did get me past the first level of security, but I also discovered the hard way that I needed an ID card.  Once again, I was stuck.

The answer came in the form of the supply depot, which has among its “all kinds of things” a blaster.  I didn’t figure this out on my own; I had to resort to the HELP command once again, which in the supply depot says “How ’bout a BLASTER”.  Type GET BLASTER while you’re in there, and sure enough you’ll find one.  It’s kind of a clever puzzle, but a little irritating as well.

With blaster in hand I stormed around the place shooting everyone in sight.  The evil scientist got it first, and with his ID Card in my possession I was able to access the Vault, where I found Leya’s treasury, the Malidium crystals (the in-game spelling differs from the backstory).

Next I went and vaporised the guard in the strategy room.  There I found some keys, a communicator, and some death ray schematics.  When I picked up the communicator, someone on the other side said “Sesame”.  I replied with the same word, and a voice over the PA announced that the flight deck doors would be opened.

I’ll have some holy smokes. Menthol.

Past the strategy room was the tractor beam room.  There were no guards there, just a sign warning people not to press any buttons.  I’m not on General Doom’s payroll, so I pressed those damn buttons, and the tractor beam was shut off.  I could have escaped at that point, except for one thing: with the flight doors open, there was no oxygen in the flight deck, and no way to get back to the ship.  I couldn’t figure out how to get the flight doors closed again, and I don’t think there’s another way back to the ship, so I had to restart again.

Getting back to where I was didn’t take long though, and with the keys in my possession I was able to open the locked cell in the jail, where I found the princess as expected.  Somewhat amusingly, she’s implemented as an object that you carry in your inventory.  You can’t interact with her in any way, and she doesn’t even react when you enter her cell, or return her to her ship.  Micklus didn’t even code a response to KISS PRINCESS, which is a real failing.

I’m Lewk Skywarker, I’m here to rescue you!

I ran into one last hurdle, though: my blaster ran out of ammunition, and I was captured before I could make it back to the ship.  I had a hunch, and on my next game I went back to the supply depot and typed GET AMMUNITION.  To my delight, I found some, and used it to reload when I thought I was getting low.

I’d rescued the princess, and stashed her necklace and treasury in the ship’s storage.  I also had the fuel and the turboencabulator, as well as as a bunch of other items that were worth some points (the cape, the laser, the cloaking device, the map, the schematics, etc.).  I’d disarmed the tractor beam, and used the communicator to open the flight doors (this time from the safety of my ship).  So I went to the cockpit, hit the launch button, and basked in a victory well-earned.

Well, almost.  I’d struck a blow for the Forces of Freedom, but I was 20 points shy of the full 215.  The only unexplained thing left on the map was the TRS-80, but I hadn’t yet found the blank tape I needed to use with it.  Once again I went to look for it in the supply depot, and once again that room came through.  With blank tape in hand I typed CLOAD TAPE into the computer, and was rewarded with a printout of General Doom’s secret attack plans.  This was the final item I needed, and I was able to complete Dog Star Adventure with full points.

Way to disguise your Very Secret Plans, dude.

We can be HEROS, just for one day

You can end the game without finding everything, though, and the game gives you a congratulatory message even if you just escape from the battle cruiser without the princess or any of the treasures.  Somehow that’s helped the Forces of Freedom defend the galaxy, don’t ask me how!

You get points for depositing various items in the ship’s storage hold.  The point values are as follows:

Anti-Matter Fuel – 5 points

Leya’s Cape – 5 points

Shinestone Necklace – 20 points

Death Ray Schematics – 20 points

Micro Laser Gun – 20 points

Cloaking Device – 20 points

Turboencabulator – 5 points

Malidium Crystals – 30 points

Map of the Ship – 20 points

Secret Attack Plans – 20 points

Princess Leya – 50 points

Finally, here’s my map for the game, created in Trizbort.

Click to enlargenate

I had a decent time playing this game: it’s short, and it doesn’t have any exceptionally frustrating puzzles.  The ones it does have are well covered by the game’s HELP command, which I’m a bit less reluctant to use than an outside walkthrough.  It’s a solid game for the era, and I think it will do okay on the RADNESS Index.

RADNESS INDEX:

Story & Setting: As with other games that have knocked off properties that I love, I have to be careful to rate what’s actually in the game, rather than what I’m bringing to it from those outside influences.  The story amounts to a treasure hunt once you get down to the gameplay, but it has far more context than other games of its type: there are rebels fighting against an evil force, and every one of the treasures you have to find is relevant to that fight.  The setting is novel, with Battlestar being the only other game I’ve played that’s set on a space station.  Still, it’s very sparsely described, and there’s not much in the way of atmosphere.  Rating: 2 out of 7.

Characters & Monsters: We have the guards, the evil scientist, Princess Leya, and the burger-eating robot.  The first two are obstacles and wandering hazards, and the only thing you can do with them is shoot or be captured.  Leya is a literal object.  The robot is memorable, but again you can’t interact with him beyond his one function in the game.  Rating: 1 out of 7.

Aesthetics: A TRS-80 text adventure with sparse descriptions and no sound is always going to score low.  Rating: 1 out of 7.

Puzzles: Dog Star has one puzzle I’d consider clever, and a bunch of others that are simple (buttons to press, doors to unlock, etc.)  I think I come down on liking the supply depot puzzle, and I’m down with it being used twice as a solution.  Three times might be pushing things, though.  And too many of the game’s obstacles are solved by shooting them.  Rating: 2 out of 7.

Mechanics: The game has a very simple parser, that only recognises about 20 verbs.  It does the job, but that’s all it does.  Still, I had very few issues with hunting for the right command.  Movement was annoying, though; abbreviating it to the first letter should be standard practice, even in 1979.  It’s not a gamebreaker, though, and the game does what it does reasonably well.  Rating: 3 out of 7.

Challenge: Outside of the puzzles, which I’d consider a mild challenge, there are the wandering guards to contend with.  They’re annoying at first, but easily dealt with once you find the blaster.  That’s decent design I feel: things can be frustrating for a short while, just not the entire game.  I’d rate Dog Star as pretty easy, but short enough that it doesn’t matter. By the time you run out of challenges, the game is over.  Rating: 3 out of 7.

Fun: I enjoyed this while it lasted.  It helps that it was short, and I never got stuck for long because of the HELP command.  The guards at the start were annoying, but that just makes it more enjoyable once you get the ability to kill them.  Still, there’s not a lot to this one, and no scope for activities outside of the puzzles required to beat the game.  Rating: 2 out of 7.

Bonus Points: 1.  As the first adventure game to have its source code published, Dog Star does have some influence and a little bit of historical importance.

That gives Dog Star Adventure a RADNESS Index of 29.  Overall that places it equal 21st, and on the chart for adventure games it’s 12th out of 24 games rated so far.  It’s equal in points to Castle, just below Pirate Adventure and above Voyage to Atlantis, squarely in the area of the chart that separates the games I liked from those I didn’t.  Middle of the pack feels about right, I’d say.

PORTS OF CALL:

I also played through the version for the Commodore PET, which was ported in 1980.  The major difference is that it’s even more explicit with its Star Wars connections: General Doom is Darth Vader, Leya is Leia, the ship is the Millennium Falcon, and the guards are stormtroopers.  I’m not sure why IP violation was fine on the PET and not on the TRS-80, but whatever. It mercifully uses the NESW abbreviations, but only recognises TAKE, not GET (my preferred verb).  The blaster isn’t loaded when you first pick it up, you need to also take the ammunition, but it tracks how many shots you have left. The random stormtroopers take potshots at you when they appear, but I never got hit by one.  The most difficult thing for me was that the TRS-80 has been replaced by a generic terminal, and it’s a little harder to figure out the correct command.  It takes 225 points to win, but you don’t need to do anything new, you just get the extra 10 when you escape.  It’s much the same game, and despite a nifty image of Vader on start-up it gets the exact same RADNESS Index. I probably like this one a touch more, simply because it’s explicitly Star Wars.  Still, it’s weirder to treat the princess as a literal object when it’s actually Leia, and not a stand-in.

To be honest, this is a better Darth Vader than most of the artists of Marvel Comics managed in the 80s

At least this version can spell “heroes”

Dog Star was also released by Adventure International, under the title Death Planet: A Dog Star Adventure (although it’s just called Dog Star in the game itself).

This is a much better name

It uses the split-panel style of Scott Adams adventures, with the room descriptions at the top and the player’s commands at the bottom, and is the most technically sound of the three versions I played; it ran really smoothly compared to the others. My major problem with it is that it completely removes the supply depot puzzle: when you enter the room the blaster, ammunition and tape are already out in the open.  It also has a score out of 100 rather than 215, and it explicitly marks the treasures with asterisks.  In terms of RADNESS Index I’d rate it a point higher in Mechanics, but the removal of the supply depot puzzle loses it a point in Puzzles, so it still comes out the same.

Brother, I’ve already finished this thing three times.

NEXT: It’s back to Scott Adams, as I take a look at his fourth effort, Voodoo Castle.  This time his wife Alexis is also involved, so we’ll see how much difference that makes. 

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-39-dog-star-adventure-1979/

[panticwritten]

About to get hella emotional on main

November 19th will be this blog’s second birthday. I’ve been thinking about this post since September, and how I didn’t post anything for it last year.

I’ve been doing this writeblr thing for almost two years. It’s been so awesome to be a part of this community (the somber wording of this makes it sound like I’m leaving but I’m not), even if I know I don’t actually talk with other people very often. I go back and forth about feeling guilty about that, but the point stands that it’s so cool to see so many people so excited about their work. It’s amazing, and I really don’t have the words to describe how much I love to see it even if I don’t know a lot about peoples’ projects.

I’m going to have a normal anniversary post on the day, but that’s not what this is. This is gonna be sad and this is pretty much the equivalent of rebreaking a bone to make sure it sets right. Be forewarned about mentions of suicide, depression, and a story involving animal death that got a lot more detailed than I thought it was going to when I started this post.

I want to talk about why I made this blog.

Full disclosure, November is the absolute worst time of the year for me. It’s the time when seasonal depression starts to hit. It’s the part of term that always kicks my feet out from under me. There are a lot of memories stitched into this month that I haven’t been able to untangle. Really, it’s only two memories and a lot of uncomfortable Thanksgivings, but still.

It was just a month to me until 2014 when I ended up hospitalized after I overdosed on my antidepressants. I’m not gonna go into detail about any of that or the fallout from it, other than my life changed a lot for the better after. New school, new people, shiny new paint over everything.

But that whole thing was massively related to my daydreams. I cared more about them than I did reality, I was in physical pain when I was reminded that the world I’d spun up in my head and the people I loved so much who lived there would always be out of physical reach for me. I hadn’t had the Collective for very long outside of the histories I’d constructed for them. I’d known them forever in my head but I’d only had them for around a year. But they weren’t real and no matter how much I loved them or they loved me the family I spent most of my time with couldn’t really be there for me.

The point is, my daydreaming was wildly unhealthy then. I was obsessive and had at some point convinced myself in no uncertain terms that no one could know about the world in my head as anything other than what it looked like. It was just a story, right? Stories can’t hurt you, can’t give you trauma, can’t bake lasting and damaging fears in you even if they’re about you, right?

They can’t make you afraid of being underground, of the smallest echo in the dark of a cave. They can’t make you flinch when someone touches you out of some bullshit fear response you never physically learned. They can’t make distant sounds of movement in a house ratchet your fight or flight up. They can’t lace a fear of being watched so deep into your core that your constant irrational fear is a hidden camera in a space that’s supposed to be yours, that everything’s a test and all you have to do is mess up once and— 

Yeah.

So I started writing them down. It gave me a way to bleed shit out, I guess. Instead of just wrangling it down into a box in my head, I sifted through what I had. I tried to start at the beginning, but everything was too fragmented then.

Eventually, I started the daydream that would turn into Breaking Furnace and I found a good way to categorize things. I started writing it, I got really far before I made this blog. I had been putting off finishing the dream itself because there was some shit toward the end that I knew was gonna suck, but the November 2017 happened.

I’d just moved to Portland, I was up here with my new roommate, keeping up decently in school, I had a new friend in my roommate and frankly the best ESA to ever exist and things were good. Things were okay, I was a little wary about November like I had been the two years before that, but generally fine.

Just one thing.

Before I moved up here, I had my cat, Dipper, checked out my the vet. I just wanted to make sure he was good, pick up a nice flea collar, reassure myself he was fine. Most things were fine, but we found out he had a heart murmur. I was told it increased his chances of throwing a clot that would kill him, but that he might just live his life. I’d know if it happened if his back legs stopped working. I felt the way he breathed so heavy a lot differently after that, but I made jokes because I had to. I got him a little ‘I have a heart condition’ tag for his collar.

So, November 8th. It was some time in the morning, 10 probably. I was watching Grey’s Anatomy. Dipper knocked an empty water bottle off the stand his food was on and I remember so clearly laughing when I turned to look. Asking what he was getting up to in the way you only can with the dumb animals we love so much.

And I remember my entire body going numb when he fell off the stand himself because he couldn’t walk properly anymore. I panicked and called my mom but she obviously couldn’t help and I was left to deal with it by myself so I couldn’t afford to be panicked. I needed to not feel it, so I just.

That numb was what stayed with me, and I don’t know if it’s actually gone away.

I was numb while I held him and l looked up a vet. Called one, explained in a voice that I didn’t recognize, got transferred to another, explained again. I was numb when I messaged the group chat my new friends had set up asking for a ride or for someone to go with me. I didn’t have money to order a Lyft, I was still waiting for the money I was transferring from my savings to my checkings so I could buy a new bag of cat food.

I was numb when the Lyft driver my friend called for us asked what was wrong with my cat and all I could say was that he was dying. When we got there and I explained at the front desk and had to watch them take him back. When they asked about sedatives and anesthesia and I didn’t care how much those cost because I couldn’t let him hurt. They were so gentle when they asked if I would want extreme measures taken to save him, but I’d known I was going to lose him before I’d called them so I was numb when I signed the DNR form too.

When I met with the vet, all I needed her to tell me was what was happening, to confirm the odds. She asked me what I wanted to do, but what I wanted had nothing to do with it and everyone in the room knew that. Even though I knew already, I asked what would be kinder and signed another form.

I got to hold him, got to make sure he knew that I was there. That I didn’t just leave him. He didn’t look any different afterward and I didn’t have room to feel anything but that vast emptiness.

They waved the fees for the visit, but I couldn’t afford to get a personal cremation. I could get fur clippings and pawprints for free but I felt like I was losing him twice in one day when I signed that order form. They asked if I wanted to see his body again once I’d left, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to get out. I regret it, I hate myself for it sometimes.

I almost didn’t go to the support group I found out about the next day. I met someone there who was so fucking pissed on my behalf. I genuinely can’t remember if it was $80 or $180 to get the personal cremation, to be able to get something of him back, but this fucking saint of a woman walked with me down to the reception area and asked if there was still time and paid it for me. I will never be able to repay her for that.

But the thing is, I never got to grieve.

I went home without him, I got mad. I walked into my dorn and automatically turned to look at my bed because he’d normally jump down from the shelf when I walked in. I cried, more than I ever had before.

I emailed my professors, didn’t go to class that day or the next. I looked at myself and I stared at that stand his food was still on and I just. Didn’t have time to fall apart. I didn’t have time to lose it. I went to a stupid fucking volunteer training thing at a hospital I ended up not even getting a position at instead of letting myself breathe for five seconds.

And no one really let me talk about it, I only had access to the limited counseling services my school provides, so I never actually got the chance to work through anything.

So, after that terrible story that made me cry for the first time in months to write, back to Breaking Furnace.

Instead of letting myself think about it at all, I threw myself into my daydreams and finished the Furnace daydream in about three days. I obsessed. I wrapped myself in my writing because if I’m thinking about my stories I don’t have to think about real shit that actually hurts.

I didn’t want to just write for me anymore. I needed a distraction. I needed something to make me not be who I was, I needed a community that didn’t know anything about the terrible hurt that I was trying to paint over.

So I made a writeblr.

I did that, and I started posting my writing. I felt welcomed and I felt cared about. I felt the community I never actually expected to be able to be a part of. I expected to lose interest after a few weeks but I didn’t and I felt comfortable in something that had nothing to do with what was killing me.

I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that I don’t know if I would have survived if it weren’t for writeblr. I don’t have any planned landing point for this, just that. I’m just, so thankful and so glad that I made the decision to break into this.

[lostinfic]

4. England, summer

Summary: Travel writer/photojournalist AU, slow burn, mutual pining, angst, fluff and adventures around the world.

Pairing: Alec Hardy x Hannah Baxter Rating: Mature Word count: 1.5k

Prologue  |  Chap. 1  |  2  |  3  | Ao3  

In Covent Garden, the midday sun flared off the glass roof of the market. Hardy shielded his eyes. He hated London in the summer, hated the tourists, hated the heat, hated people playing bloody Frisbee in parks. He glared at a couple sharing an ice cream in front of him on the street, with a huff of impatience, he walked past them.

He reached the red mailbox on the street corner. He pushed a manila envelope through the slot like one rips a band-aid: quickly and holding his breath. Divorce papers, signed and sent. Time to move on. He rubbed a hand over the tightness in his chest. He knew the perfect antidote was work abroad. But until he received a new assignment, the next best thing was Stanford, the travel bookshop.

An enormous map covered the entrance floor of the shop. A memory struck him: Daisy, age six, playing hopscotch on the African countries. He smiled to himself. He would call her again tonight, even if it meant leaving another sappy voice mail. Perhaps she would want to come with him to New York in October. It would be nice to show her around. And, although he wouldn’t tell her that, he hoped she would be impressed by a whole exhibition dedicated to his work. He hoped she would understand he wanted to make the world a better place, for her.

He almost called his daughter right away, but he was in Stanford for a specific reason. Hannah had said her article on the Mahal Kita resort would be out on July 25th. “You were wrong,” she’d bragged in a text message, “they let me write everything.” He’d replied something that came out ruder than he’d intended, and he didn’t hear from her again.

As he headed towards the magazine display, he mentally composed a congratulatory message, “Let’s have drinks to celebrate”. He cringed. She wasn’t interested in him, she only wanted to have sex at the airport because she was bored.

In any case, first, he had to see this article with his own eyes. Part of him still doubted she’d gotten away with it, or had written it at all. He hoped she had. His own attempts at exposing the truth had come to nothing. Two newspapers had picked up the story only to replace it at the last minute with more pressing news. He was disappointed, but not surprised. He wasn’t giving up that easily. He still talked to Ellie and Kadek. He planned on widening the scope of his investigation by looking into other resorts owned by the same company, Group Peregrine. Meanwhile, Hannah’s article could reach readers he wouldn’t. People who directly encouraged these harmful practices in the tourism industry. She could open their eyes to the human cost of their vacations.

He spotted the latest issue of Elite Travelers. The cover featured a picture of the sea in Pulau Kesuma in oversaturated shades of blue. He baulked at the price and found a seat to read it in store instead.

The lede put him on edge right away. With each paragraph, his face grew hotter and his teeth ground harder.

He called Hannah.

“Hey, Alec! How—”

“You bloody liar.”

“What?”

“You said you would tell the truth in your article.”

“I did!”

“No, you didn’t.”

“You know what? It might not be up to your standards of exposing the truth, but it’s not that kind magazine, okay? I did what I could, but the rooms were nice, I had to say it.”

“It’s nothing but praise. Praise for criminals.”

“I get it, you’re a paragon of integrity and I’m a sham.”

“You lied to me. There isn’t a word in there about the environmental impacts or the fishermen.”

“Of course, there is. It’s right there in the lede. And there are at least three more paragraphs about it.”

“I’ve got your article right here, it says: From its unspoiled site to its respect of the environment, the Mahal Kita eco-resort is, simply put, flawless.”

Hannah fell silent. He heard her sniff, and his anger vanished.

“You okay?”

“I didn’t write that… It wasn’t me, that’s not what I wrote.”

“Seriously?”

“Keep reading.”

Hannah slouched down in the hotel armchair, closing her eyes to ward off the dizziness. Hardy kept reading the article. She recognized some of the sentences, but she’d reread the text often enough to identify the missing parts.

She was in Cornwall, covering a music festival, so she hadn’t seen the magazine yet. When Duncan hadn’t asked for revisions, she’d naively thought her article was perfect. No wonder she hadn’t heard back from him about the promotion.

“Baxter?”

“He fucking censored me… You were right.” She laughed, a hollow, bitter sound.

She expected Hardy to gloat, but his voice was gentle when he spoke again, “I really wanted to be wrong.”

He stayed on the line with her, in silence, while she struggled to make sense of this betrayal. She hated Duncan so much right now, she could have ripped his head off.

Hardy told her he’d experienced censorship too. Back when Tony Blair had sided with George W. Bush about the Iraq war. An editor had cropped one of his photographs so as to leave only the angry, armed Iraqi men in the frame and remove the children they were protecting.

“I was furious.”

“What did you do?” she asked.

“I made sure the original photo was published elsewhere.”

“I just… it was important to me, you know? It felt like a big step in my career. Something different…”

“So, what are you gonna do about it?”

“What can I do?”

“You have to get that story out there.”

She could put the uncensored article on her blog and expose Elite Travelers’ dishonesty. But could she afford to antagonize her main source of income? Adios business class and exotic resorts.

“You would want to work for them again after this?” Hardy asked.

“It had never happened before.”

“That you know of.”

The moral decision weighed on her chest, pushing a deep sigh out of her. She didn’t want to deal with this right now. Arctic Monkeys would be on stage in 15 minutes, and she had a VIP pass. All she wanted was put on a flower crown, get drunk and dance with strangers under the sun.

“Would you like to go for coffee. With me. To talk about it,” Hardy said.

“No, thanks. I can’t.”

“Yeah, no, okay. Then—”

“I’ve to go. Bye.”

*

A week later, Hardy received a message from Hannah with a link to her blog called “Secret Diary of a Globe-Trotter”.

Secret? he texted back.

It used to be a place to write anecdotes I couldn’t tell my father ;)

She had posted her original article, nowhere near as scathing as it ought to be, but critical enough to put off some people. She also described the censorship and her investigation on Pulau Kesuma. She even mentioned him, “Alec Hardy, a remarkable photojournalist”. He thrust out his chest slightly.

So what do you think?

You did the right thing, he wrote.

I hope so. Still not sure about that.

With a fresh cup of tea, he sat on the narrow balcony outside his flat. He typed “I’m proud of you”, but changed his mind. He wanted to keep the conversation going.

I can send you some pictures I took, if you want to add them.

Of course! Will you publish them anywhere?

Expo in NY soon.

She sent a thumbs up, and he assumed that was the end of the conversation.

After a moment, Hardy gave in to his curiosity and browsed the rest of her blog. Among the clickbait-y articles (“Five booking hacks you’ll regret not knowing”, “10 sexy airport looks”) and sponsored posts, he found hidden gems: longer texts describing encounters with all sorts of people during her trips. She made these people talk about their countries and favorite, uncharted places. From a churros vendor with a surprisingly profound philosophy on family to an 80 year-old ballet dancer who aimed to dance on every street of Paris, by the end of the interview, they all opened up to her.

Rain enhanced the scent of fresh-cut grass and lulled him into a peaceful state as he read on. He hadn’t meant to spend so much time on her blog, he had work to do, but her words drew him in every time. As someone who used images to get his message across, he admired her use of language. Funny, incisive. Each paragraph a snapshot of humanity.

He felt on the verge of understanding something about Hannah, like a word on the tip of his tongue. An elusive quality that explained why, on principle, he should be more annoyed by her than he was in reality. She kept proving him wrong. In fact, what annoyed him most was how quick he had judged her.

Over the following weeks, he checked her blog every once in a while. He told himself it was to take stock of the responses to the censorship. And if he happened to look at her latest photos at the same time, well, it was purely out of professional courtesy.

This was how he found out she would be in New York around the same time as him.

_______

FYI I'm going on a trip for 3 weeks. I'd love to post another chapter during that time, but I'm not sure it's realistic. I will try. Thank you for your patience :D

ETA: I managed to write another chapter before leaving, and I scheduled it to post about halfway through my trip, on the 27th.

[vinylexams]

INTERVIEW with Brian Cook of SUMAC, Russian Circles, Botch, These Arms are Snakes, and Roy 

Brian Cook of the MANY gnarly bands listed above took time to answer a bunch of questions that had been burning a hole in my mind for years earlier today. Did you know that aside from playing bass in some of the heaviest bands currently in existence, Brian is also an avid record collector and he also runs a very similar page where he posts all of his records and writes up a bit of history and personal context with each one? A man after my own heart! I’ve dropped a link to his Tumblr below and you’d be a fool not to go check it out and follow his work there.

https://bubblesandgutz.tumblr.com⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I really appreciated having a chance to talk to a very talented musician who also places a LOT of importance on physical medium and the recording process. All too often I get submissions from bands who either don’t know the in’s and out’s of the vinyl format or they took a lot of shortcuts and deprive their art a chance to really shine in the ways that vinyl allows. I picked Brian’s brain about his approach to creation of physical musical media as well as his history as a collector (and even tried to convince him to get These Arms are Snakes play my big gay wedding reception!). Thanks for taking the time to tell your story to us, Brian!

You've been a member of several incredible bands over the past few decades (Botch, Sumac, Russian Circles, These Arms Are Snakes), all of which have released pretty much everything they've recorded on vinyl. How important is the vinyl medium for you as a musician and creator?

Thanks for the kind words. It's really important to me for my music to have some sort of physical format. I realize that mode of thinking might seem sort of old school or outdated, but i've always been enamored by music as a kind of historical artifact. When I was younger, that meant it was important for me to have an actual Dead Kennedys cassette as opposed to a dubbed version from my friend. It was like the difference between owning a painting versus owning a xerox of a painting. When I became a musician, it was a sign of validation. By having a record with my name on it, I had created something that would potentially outlive me. And now in the digital age we've convinced ourselves that everything lives forever on the internet, but it's not true. Myspace just lost all their music. I've written for a lot of online music outlets that have closed shop or simply deleted old posts. Meanwhile, I have a trunk full of old zines that outlived the supposed permanence of blogs. So while the digital age is great for convenience and scope, creating a physical recording is really the more reliable way to make sure something exists for more than five to ten years, or however long it takes for the newest technological fad to become obsolete. Vinyl seems to be the longest lasting format, so it's my preferred medium. But if my music exists on tape or CD, that's fine too. 

Do you approach your recording and production processes with specific formats like vinyl in mind? If so, what do you do differently? Absolutely. The main concern is that we're dealing with the time constraints of vinyl. For bands like Russian Circles and SUMAC who have really long songs, it means we have to be careful how we sequence our records because we can easily exceed the 22-minutes-per-side rule. We've also been told by pressing plants that it's better to have long drones in the middle of an album side than at the beginning or end because there tends to be more surface noise at the beginning of a side and more warble at the end, and drones don't do much to mask these imperfections. But while one can complain about the limitations of vinyl, there are also issues with digital formats that can alter the way an album is put together. For example, the digital version of Empros has a longer drone at the end of "Batu" than the LP version, partially because of vinyl's limitations, but also because digital outlets like iTunes don't recognize records with long songs as full albums unless at least one track is longer than ten minutes. So we stretched it out on the digital version so that we'd be compensated appropriately for our work, but condensed it on vinyl so that we didn't compromise the sound quality.

Of all of the albums you've contributed to, which one stands out to you as the one you feel most connected to?

Probably Geneva by Russian Circles, if I had to pick one. We wrote that record over the span of several months at a house in rural Wisconsin. It was one of those ideal scenarios I'd always dreamed of---hunkering down in some isolated retreat and just immersing ourselves in the writing process. I've never walked away from an album feeling as accomplished as I did with that one. It just felt like we'd achieved something that had previously been out of my level of expertise. I think we've made better records since then, but I don't think I've ever felt as successful in making the sounds in my head translate to the recording. With regards to my other bands, I feel that way about Botch's We Are The Romans, These Arms Are Snakes' Easter, Roy's Killed John Train, and SUMAC's What One Becomes. But Geneva will always hold a special place.

How did you get into vinyl collecting and how does it play a part in your life?

I started buying vinyl around '92 because it was cheap. My first LP was Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet's Savvy Show Stoppers. I bought it for $2. Then I discovered 7"s, which was the dominant format for hardcore and punk bands at the time. Throughout high school, I mainly bought 7"s because i could buy 3 or 4 a week on my allowance. And let's be honest... most hardcore bands in the '90s had better 7"s than full albums. But vinyl was so dead at the time that you could also go to thrift stores and scoop up the entire Creedence Clearwater Revival discography for the cost of one CD. Even new vinyl was cheaper than their CD counterpart back then. So it's a bit of a drag now considering that vinyl is currently the most expensive format, but I still get a thrill from going to record stores, digging through crates, and coming home with a new LP. I can't say I buy that many 7"s anymore though.

What do you think about the relatively recent resurgence of large-scale vinyl production and collection?

It certainly has its advantages and disadvantages. I buy a lot of reissues just so I can have a clean, good-sounding copy, so I appreciate the resurgence in that regard. At the same time, the vinyl boom has made used record shopping a bit more of a drag. I don't know how many copies of Neil Young's Harvest I saw in used bins throughout the '90s and '00s, and then when I finally decided to buy a copy five years ago, it seemed like they'd all been snagged and the reissue was going for $50. When the Zeppelin discography got reissued a few years back, I mentioned wanting a new copy of Physical Graffiti to my husband. He went to our local indie record store in Brooklyn and asked the owner if they carried it and he totally balked at the question. "Why would we carry a reissue when you can buy a used copy of that in any record store for $5?" he said. My husband was like "every used Zeppelin record you carry is beat to shit and goes for at least $20... what the fuck are you even talking about?"

If you had to pare down your entire collection to no more than three albums, which would you keep?

What's the broader context? Like, are those the only three records I can listen to for the rest of my life? Or is it just a matter of only being allowed to own three records? If it's the former, I'd probably choose Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks, Miles Davis' In a Silent Way, and a Can album... either Ege Bamyasi or Soon Over Babaluma. Ask me tomorrow and I'd probably list off a different three. If it's the latter... like, if i'm merely holding onto records because the actual artifact means a lot to me but I can still listen to music in some other capacity, then I'd probably go with the His Hero Is Gone / Union of Uranus split LP, Undertow's At Both Ends, and Sticks & Stones Theme Songs For Nothing, just because those seem like a pain in the ass to replace and they're important records to me. I have records that are worth way more money, but I'm not someone who buys records because they're valuable. 

Do you have a "white whale" record you still haven't found?

Not really. For ages I resisted the urge to buy used records online, but I've since relented. The record that finally broke my ordering embargo was Hack's The Rotten World Around Us. They were a band from Adelaide, South Australia in the late '80/ early '90s who sounded like a grungier version of the first couple Swans records. Super heavy and scary. I got turned onto them through a 7" on Alternative Tentacles, but the LP was never available stateside. The first few times I toured Australia i went to every record store I could find in hopes of finding a copy. No one had ever heard of Hack. The singer was in another band called Grong Grong, and members of that band had gone on to be in King Snake Roost, Lubricated Goat, and Tumor Circus (with Jello Biafra on vocals), but no one had heard of them either. In my mind there was this rich underground of Australian noise rock from that time period that was still vital and valid, but the reality is that it was largely ignored and forgotten. I eventually found a copy online and bought it for $20. A year later i found a used copy in Boise. Oh well. I'd love to find Acme's To Reduce The Choir..., or an original copy of Popol Vuh's second album, or the Neu! 7", or the Greenlandic prog band Sume's Sumut album.

Hypothetically how much money would I need to raise to get These Arms Are Snakes to reunite to play my wedding reception? My family will hate it but my partner and I will be very happy, etc.

We still talk about doing some proper "farewell shows" since we bailed on doing them back in 2009/2010. Granted, now they'd be reunion shows, but in our hearts they'd be our proper goodbye. We're putting together a vinyl release of various odds and ends for next year, so maybe that'll give us an excuse to finally book something.

[help-on-four-paws]

How I Help My Girl as a Medical Alert and Response Dog

To read the original blog post, click here.

TW: self-harm mention

This photo was taken while I was just finishing up doing Deep Pressure Therapy for my girl. I moved to her legs because her body had already started responding to the pressure I'd been putting on her chest earlier, so she just needed some final grounding before this episode passed. You can see from my face how seriously I take my job!

A Medical Alert Service Dog performs a trained behaviour to indicate that their handler is about to have or is currently having a medical episode,* and a Medical Response Service Dog helps a handler who has a medical disability.  Both types of Service Dogs can assist with a range of medical conditions, from epilepsy to type 1 diabetes, and from postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome to narcolepsy, and everything in between.  It's not uncommon for a dog who is a Medical Response Service Dog to also be a Medical Alert Service Dog, because we dogs are perceptive creatures with strong noses and will often pick up on our handler's changes in body chemistry.  Remember, though, that a Service Dog under the ADA must be "individually trained" in the task(s) that they perform for their disabled handler.  This means that a dog who performs a natural medical alert does not qualify as a Service Dog in the US unless that alert is reinforced by the handler (or a trainer) since the Service Dog must be "trained to take a specific action" under the ADA.  As a Service Dog for my girl, I am both a Medical Alert and Medical Response Service Dog because I perform tasks both that alert her to a medical episode and that are in response to medical episodes.

Because my girl has such a broad range of symptoms, I also have a variety of alert behaviours so that I can tell her exactly what's going on with her body.

As I explained in my post about my Psychiatric Service Dog tasks, I alert my girl to rising anxiety and incoming panic attacks through a variety of her body's signals.  One of the very first tasks I learned to help my girl was pawing with increasing intensity in order to interrupt her when she starts nervous-scratching or picking at herself.  Her anxiety causes her to do this unknowingly, often to the point where she bleeds, and since the scabs that form become itchy, the cycle can continue quite easily -- so the trick is interrupting the cycle so that she can catch herself before she starts bleeding, which is exactly what I do!  This pawing also acts as an anxiety alert because the scratching indicates that her anxiety is rising close to the point of "no return."  I can also alert to increasing heart rate or elevated cortisol as signs that her anxiety is rising, as well as to her anxious "hand flapping" that she does as a physical anxiety tic, and I use a paw for these as well so that all anxiety alerts are clumped together into one behaviour.

A couple years ago, my girl added a hypoglycemia alert to my repertoire of tasks.  Her GI issues are understandably the (most likely) culprit of her drops in blood sugar, which itself causes an assortment of un-fun symptoms, but the situation is even more nuanced than that: thanks to my girl's chronic nausea, she often doesn't want to eat, but she has to be careful because blood sugar dipping too low can be a trigger for her migraines, which can last multiple days.  As you can imagine, my girl is grateful for any kind of preventative action!  My hypoglycemia alert can tell her when she absolutely needs to push past her nausea, even if eating causes its own form of discomfort, because that discomfort is the lesser of the two potential evils.  I currently alert with a nose "boop" when her meter reads 80 mg/dL or lower.  Sometimes I do a "chin rest" with a serious look on my face, and although this is my default "there's something wrong with you but I'm not formally trained to alert to it" behaviour, my girl has learned that sometimes I do this instead of a nose boop .  My girl hasn't yet figured out if this is because her low blood sugar stems from two different causes, and since I'm a dog, I can't really communicate my reasoning to her.  For the time being, we're treating it as a training glitch, and she keeps reinforcing the "boop" whenever I offer the "chin rest" instead.  When I learned my hypoglycemia alert, I also learned the Breath Check command, where my girl leans down so I can sniff her breath better.  This behaviour helps reassure my girl that my alert was a true alert and not just an accidental nose boop, because if I still give the nose boop after a Breath Check, then my girl knows to definitely check her blood sugar.

If you've read this far, you've already learned that my girl has migraines, and they most likely have a genetic component to them because they run in her family.  Although my girl knows some triggers for her migraines -- pressure changes due to thunderstorms, low blood sugar -- these migraines are tricksters and don't always let her know what causes them.  That's where I can help!  I have a migraine alert where I gently "mouth" my girl on the hand in order to let her that a migraine is coming on.  This behaviour lets her know to take her migraine medication, which can help lessen the impact and also duration of the migraine (however, it's not perfect and sometimes her migraines ignore medication completely).  We haven't figured out a way for me to tell my girl how long her migraine is going to last, since it would be helpful to know if one is going to last 9 days or only a few hours, but hey, at least I can sometimes give her a bit of warning and that's better than nothing!

My newest medical alert (that I'm still perfecting, by the way) is to my girl's fatigue crashes.  For a period of time after my girl exerts herself either physically or mentally, even to an extent that most normal people would consider "minor," she experiences a major energy crash, often accompanied by a "flare up" of other symptoms like chronic pain, anxiety, overstimulation (aka lots and lots of tears), or headaches and even her migraines.  With these crashes, she can often barley think coherently, let alone function like a normal person, and even walking can sometimes feel like an insurmountable feat.  When I give her an alert to an impending fatigue crash, I'm letting her know that she's going down fast so she needs to get herself ready for that, whether it's getting water to put beside her bed, finding the nearest dark and quiet space, or emailing someone to cancel plans while she still has the brain power to do so.  Anyone who knows my girl knows that her face has it's own "alert" -- her cheeks turn lobster-red immediately before a fatigue crash.  However, my alerts help for two main reasons: first, fatigue crash-to-lobster face isn't a 1:1 ratio and my girl can crash without lobster-ing, and second, fatigue crashes can happen in a time frame ranging from immediately after an exertion to a day or so after doing the exertion.  My absence of an alert reassures my girl that she has at least a little more time to live her life normally, so my alerts offer her some predictability, which is nice to have when your chronic illness is largely unpredictable.

I want to take a moment to note that my medical alerts vary in how good I am at performing them.  Medical alerting has probably been my biggest training struggle, so my girl and I still practice with scent samples quite frequently (and if you want to learn how I was taught to alert to medical episodes, click here).

If I alert my girl to her rising anxiety or an impending panic attack, one of the ways she can respond to that alert is by asking me to perform Deep Pressure Therapy (DPT), which is a form of firm sensory input that results in a calming effect for the body.  I do DPT for my girl by lying on her chest preferably, especially because it forces her to take deep breaths instead of hyperventilating, but I can also lie across her legs if we're not in a situation where she can lie down fully.   My body weight acts to quiet her sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for her "fight or flight" response, and instead activates her parasypathetic nervous system, which is responsible for her "rest and digest" response and therefore is associated with decreased anxiety.  As a result, her panic symptoms decrease, and she can eventually continue her life as normal.  DPT may look like "just cuddling," but - scientifically - it's so much more!  I can also do deep pressure therapy for her chronic pain, most often my girl's hips.  My body heat acts like a hot water bottle to soothe her joints.

When my girl has one of her migraines, I can respond by doing forward momentum pulling, where I act like a dog-sized tugboat by pulling into my harness.  Many people think of migraines as "just a headache," but migraines are actually a neurological problem.  My girl's migraines "scramble" her brain and make it short-circuit on her, even if she has taken medication to get rid of the pain.  Navigation can be a little tricky with a brain that's not cooperating, especially in a crowded area.  Add in light sensitivity due to the migraine and navigation can be just downright difficult.  But that's where I can help!  Because my forward momentum pulling as a guiding aspect to it, I make sure that my girl gets safely where she needs to go.  She can just close her eyes against the light if need be, and I'll weave around people and other moving obstacles as needed.  The pulling aspect of this task also helps with my girl's balance, which is often thrown off by her brain's migraine "scrambling."  I know how to find a few locations, lead her to a handful of important people in her life, and follow an indicated person.  Sometimes words are tricky when my girl has a migraine and she'll trip over her words while trying to tell me where to go or what to do, but luckily I know her well enough after four years of being her pup that I can interpret her vague gesturing pretty accurately.

Of course, I can also perform forward momentum pulling when my girl's fatigue is flaring, even if I often do it to save her energy.  When I pull her along, she doesn't use quite as much energy while walking and therefore doesn't get tired as quickly as she would walking on her own.  Of course, the energy saved isn't vast, but every little erg of energy is necessary when you start your day short on spoons.  When I do forward momentum pulling for my girl when she's experiencing fatigue, it can make a huge difference in whether or not she can accomplish a task.

Moving to a home with more space has meant that I've been able to expand my tasks in migraine response.  Over the course of the past year, I've learned how to open doors using a special tug, as well as closing them with my nose.  I have slowly begun learning how to turn light switches on and off all by myself.  Being able to close doors and turn off the lights is helpful for my girl's migraines because she can get very light and sound sensitive.  However, the pounding in her head gets worse with any small movement, so if I can save her getting out of bed, I prevent her from having to endure that pain.  Similarly, I can do both of these tasks when my girl is having a high pain or fatigue day and appreciates whenever I can save her from doing even small actions, like when I help her undress at night.

Opening and closing doors has led to another task that I'm currently working on: retrieving a bottle of ginger ale from a specific spot in the fridge.  In order to complete this task, I need to know how to open the fridge with a tug, grab the drink in its special holder (since its glass and therefore slippery), deliver the bottle to my girl in another room, and then return to close the fridge.  Assuming I'm in my girl's bedroom with her, I would also have to open and close her bedroom door as well.  That's a lot for a pup to remember to do!  It's taking a lot of practice (and many treats!), but I'm starting to learn what I need to do.  Once I've perfected this task, I'll be able to respond to my girl's bouts of bad nausea by bringing her a bottle of ginger ale.

You may have noticed that there's a lot of overlap between my psychiatric tasks, my mobility tasks, and my medical alert/response tasks.  One symptom can be helped by many tasks, and one task can simultaneously help many symptoms.  My girl's health issues are often interconnected and have similar symptoms, so it makes sense that my tasks can overlap to help multiple aspects of her health.  I have a lot of aspects of my job, it's true, but I'm a pup that needs a job and needs to be mentally stimulated -- my foster mom knew this when she was trying to find me a fur-ever home, and so far, thanks to my girl's ever-fluctuating symptoms, there's been no shortage of work for me to do in this fur-ever home.  And as a bonus, I get paid with fetch, and that's a pretty good trade-off in my opinion!

* Some people classify Medical Alert Dogs as only those dogs who alert their handlers before a medical event occurs, but we're including dogs who alert both before an episode and during episode (e.g. since dogs who assist diabetics are usually called Diabetic Alert Dogs, even though most of the time, they're alerting to a handler's already high or low blood sugar level - although some also alert to rapidly rising or rapidly lowering blood sugar levels).

If you missed Part 1 of this series about how I help my girl as a Psychiatric Service Dog, click here.  And if you missed Part 2 of this series about how I help my girl as a Mobility Service Dog, click here.

[suteshiro]

ALL of the asks.

Hey! I didn’t get to this right away so I’m making an educated guess on what ask meme this was for ksjvnksjfnv

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

Ah,, haven’t had that yet!

french vanilla: how old are you?

I’m 18 babey

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

America, Canada and I can’t really think of anywhere else because I just really want to see my friends skvjnfkjv

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

Probably Japanese! Hindi might be neat too

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

I’m not that into cosmetics skvnsjkfv but theres this one brand that keeps making Sailor Moon themed makeup, I think it’s Creer Beaute? I can get behind that. 

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

I’m an indoors guy

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

I’m learning the guitar! It’s mostly my voice tho

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

Rn I have All my loving stuck in my head skjfvnskjfv but I think my current favs are What’s a devil to do, Mordred’s Lullaby and Kick it up a notch? Idk, all I’ve been listening to lately is this one playlist i made for my character and every song there is great

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

YOU CAN’T ASK ME THESE THINGS I’M SMALL AND INDECISIVE

Hijo de la luna has been in my heart for forever and will probably always be

Love like you is,,, very dear to my heart as a song that I can very much relate to

I can’t think of anything else at the moment sknsfvn

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

Scorpio!!

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

Depends!! The pool is my fav by default bc I don’t have to deal with things like. The sun. But when I went to Córdoba with my friends and we hung out at the river I had a blast

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

A really dumb Yugioh shitpost sknvjsfvk it’s been years and every now and again it comes back and I die inside

bubblegum: books or movies?

hhhhhh both? A while ago I would’ve said books and they’re very dear to my heart but I’ve been having a harder time reading fiction lately. and I think there’s a certain beauty to cinema

pistachio: manga or anime?

Manga!!! Anime’s great tho. I have a great amount of respect and love for voice actors so I always love watching animated media

salted caramel: favorite movies?

Ponyo, Princess Mononoke, Princess Kaguya and Nausicaa of the valley of the wind are all. very very dear to my heart

Conqueror of Shamballa is also a fav skfvnskjfvn

Oh! And Moana!

I’m sure I have quite a few not-anime favs but I can’t think of any rn ksvjfnkfv

birthday cake: favorite books?

Geisha, a life by Mineko Iwasaki is very important to me. When I was a kid I was amazed by how much I related to her and really wanted to be like her. Also I just think it’s really cool that she went out of her way to right the wrongs of Memoirs of a Geisha (which I am upset about, let it be known)

Betibú by Claudia Piñeiro is a really really good Argentinian murder mystery and i looove it

Also Argentinian, I’m a big fan of La Doncella Roja/The Red Maiden

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

PET SHOP OF HORRORS

Uzumaki by Junji Ito!!!

Mermaid Saga by Rumiko Takahashi was very sadly short but I loved every second of it

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

Card Captor Sakura and FMA03 are probably my absolute favorites

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

uuuuuUUUUUH

i don’t know what counts as an academic subject skjvnksfjvn

one of the subjects i have in school rn is based around making a videogame and im having a blast

in General Aspects I love art and have great appreciation for computer science in theory though im starting to doubt whether its My Thing academically

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

sadly no

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

fuck, I think it was like 6 or 5 years ago by now skvjnskfn and it was to be able to browse tags easier I believe

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

warm, windy, cloudy

black cherry: four words that describe you?

Kind, loving, needy, emotional ksjnsfjn

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

trying to approach a wide subject im not familiar with. even when i know i can handle it and have an idea of where to start its just so overwhelming

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

probably pop? I don’t know honestly

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

Bonafide, Royal, Cofler I think

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

I don’t fancy myself very skilled in any card games honestly skjvnskfjvn I enjoy this one called We didn’t playtest this at all. Oh and I love Uno/Crazy 8s

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

Yes!!! Every morning. Sometimes I forget to eat but I try to be very consistent with That

dark chocolate: turn ons?

Am I allowed to talk about this? Can I be horny on main?? Is this allowed??

fudge: turn offs?

See above skjnskjfvn 

peach: how do you relax?

if I’m doing real bad my go-to is a ghibli movie and some tea. I like laying down and playing games on my phone or reading to chill

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

there’s so manyyyy

The Magnus Chase saga I really want to read

Also Good Omens

superman: do you like sweaters?

Yes!!! but only if they’re Really soft

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

around 80% of my liquid intake is iced tea ksjvfnsfv mostly peppermint. I enjoy coffee when I’m made to drink it because I sweeten it to death but honestly I don’t drink it by choice unless I have to stay up quite a bit

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

well, i really want to get into the guitar, but also I would love to... piano

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

just a few times, but yes!!

latest time was when a friend narrated to us the story of his fish and it fucking killed me, I wish there was any way for me to replicate that mess

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Give me an easy way to block through my side blogs pls

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

im having a Lot of trouble thinking of them rn ksjfvnkjsfnv but i just saw @un-repentant in my dash and everything they ever put in their blog is great

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

I,,,,, didn’t watch Mean Girls, 

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

They’re not painted, sadly

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

Nope! I mean, I have had my feelings reciprocated but nobody’s come up to me to tell me they liked me without prompting on my side

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

Yup! Still do

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

Not often which is a shame bc I love them

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

I don’t wanna think about it skjvnksjfnv

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

I love it and it’s sad bc I’ve only eaten it twice in my entire life

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

Cuddling with a good good friend,

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

Yes! I can barely see without them ksjfvnkjsfv

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

Mint with chocolate chips, bitter chocolate? idk how to name it in English, white chocolate and Kinder chocolate

[steampunkpirate131719]

Personality Types - Jesper Fahey

I’m doing a ton of archetypes. Except for astrology signs because imma be Kaz and be edgy and also be Wylan and not know anything about the fun stuff in life.

If there are any other archetypes anybody wants to hear for any of the characters from SoC (I haven’t read shadow and bone. Sorry.) then just comment or ask. I’ll also do fics and headcannons on one character trying to archetype another.

Not gonna lie. I’m probably going to do more of these cuz this was fun. @sixofcrowsnet thanks for the amazing challenge.

Hero’s Journey: The Ally

If SoC goes with the classic, Joseph-Campbell style hero’s journey that most ya fictions still follow, then either Kaz or Inej is the main hero and the other is the love interest. (Sorry Jesper).

Jesper is the ally, the buddy, the Ron Weasley or the Samwise Gamgee or the Sam Wilson. He serves a slightly comedic purpose but also is the most relatable. He’s got mad skills, to be sure. But any reader secretly knows that although they might dream of being a genius like Kaz or a badass like Inej, they’d probably handle things a bit more like a lime green goofball. Nothing is more relatable than messing up smarter people’s perfect plans and having to laugh at yourself for it.

The buddy is the first and the last to stick with the hero, even when the hero does them wrong. A lot. The point where the hero loses the friend because of something they did is the point the hero hits rock bottom. (*cough* we’re looking at you Kaz *cough*).

More on roles in the hero’s journey: https://m.mythcreants.com/blog/the-eight-character-archetypes-of-the-heros-journey/

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

I don’t even have to explain the chaotic part. Revolvers, adrenaline junkie, the choice of lime green as his signature color, flirting with everything that exists. Needs no further explanation.

The reason he varies between chaotic good and chaotic neutral is that he evolves as the story continues.

At first he’s just Kaz’s accomplice in everything. He definitely shows more heart than a lot of the others, a trait which can be noted as early as the Big Bolliger fiasco, but he still kills without question and enjoys fighting quite a lot. A crow through and through.

When his father arrives, though, and once his relationship with Wylan begins, we see more of the fuzzy Jesper he’s been trying to shove down for so long. He stops gambling so much, confronts his failures, and accepts that he can’t just laugh the rest of the world off.

But he still isn’t entirely good either. I mean, he’s chilling in the Van Eck house right now but we all know he’s not planning on retiring from a life of hilarious deviousness and adorable chaos anytime soon.

Political Alignment: Leftist And Liberal

He’s not gonna be one to believe in government control of everything. There’s-a-place-for-it-but-I-don’t-want-to-see-cops-unless-I’m-being-murdered-type of worldview. But he also thinks that healthcare might be nice.

He loves breaking rules. He also knows there’s a line.

You-aren’t-taking-my-guns-cuz-they’re-antiques-but-also-who-the-fuck-needs-military-grade-weapons.

Be-gay-or-don’t. Smoke-weed-or-don’t. Idgaf. Also-can-I-get-some-weed-and-some-gay-up-in-here.

Socially, he doesn’t care unless someone’s getting hurt. Following the same morals as your grandparents is boring and never gets society anywhere.

More about political alignment: https://www.politicalcompass.org/test/en

YA Fiction-Style Sorting: Gryffindor/Dauntless/Hermes

He is a wild child.

He’s got too much heart to be Slytherin, too much drama to be Hufflepuff, and too much recklessness to be Ravenclaw. Plus he’s brave and really dumb sometimes so he belongs in Gryffindor.

Dauntless for pretty much the same reasons, but I could also see him chilling out with the drugged up farmers. So either way you want to call it man. No one really cares about Divergent anymore anyway. (Oops I said it).

Hermes because you know he loves pranks and being dorky. He’s got Apollo’s drama to be sure, but he’s a Hermes kid in every other way. He’s a traveller at heart.

Myers- Briggs: ENFP

Extrovert. Jesper loves people. He wasn’t ever happy with a quiet life. He flirts with everyone. He is basically the definition of an extrovert.

Intuitive. This dude is all about living in the moment. He trusts his gut. He wants things here and now. He’s all about creativity and whatever is new.

Feeling. His decision-making-brain accidentally got placed in his heart. He’s kind of an idiot sometimes because he doesn’t think. But his heart usually guides him to the right place when it comes to the people he loves, even if it screws him over with decisions that only affect him.

Perceiving. He does not know the meaning of the word plan. He’s flexibile, and not just because he has no bones. The dude is scatterbrained sometimes but no one really minds because he’s the best prepared when the rest of the world gets scatterbrained. (The shipyard).

Honestly I would put the link here but i think people put too much stock in this test so if you really like this type of personality typing then you’re gonna have to find it on your own.

The Right Decade: 70s.

He already dresses like he’s in a more murder-y version of a disco.

He’s living the free life of the hippies of the 60s but is also ready for the techno future coming in the 80s.

We all know he’s ready for those disco moves. He basically lives in Victorian London and yet you know he already knows all of them.

He would 100% be a member of the Village People.

The Seven Sins: Pride

Alright this is probably not the one you were expecting but hear me out.

Even though he’s a goofball, we all know it’s a little bit of a self defense mechanism. He really tries to maintain his pride, even more than Kaz sometimes.

His problems with Wylan always come from his inability to address his faults.

His biggest shame is his gambling problem, and the moment we see him the most upset is when his debt causes him to tip off rival gangs before the heist.

He won’t tell his father of his failure at college because he can’t face his father not being proud of him anymore.

Spirit Animal: Praying Mantis

Lime green

Lanky AF

Has no bones

Do I need to put more

[kriscynical]

Retropalooza 2018

So as already stated, Bree and I went to Retropalooza this weekend and had an absolute blast as always. This was our third year to go, and we love this con to bits. It’s practically in my backyard, only 20 minutes away from my house. It’s big enough to have good guests and a sizable dealer’s room, but still small enough to be fun. I dread the day when that happy medium finally gets tipped because of growth. You always want a con to be successful but... you know. 

As a side note, if the con you are running is for retro gaming and started out as a swap meet, if you’re suddenly going to ban screwdrivers at the door, perhaps you should mention that on your website beforehand? Seeing as how screwdrivers are... you know... the only way to definitely check the authenticity of retro game carts? That way your attendees won’t have to sprint back out to their cars in 10000% humidity in end-of-September-in-Texas heat. Just a suggestion, guys. 

But anyway.

I don’t talk about it much on this blog, but I follow a lot of gaming YouTubers. I’m not as religious about it as some people are, but I enjoy listening to gaming content while I’m working, especially letsplays. Retropalooza always has several YouTubers I follow as guests, which adds to the fun factor. This year’s guests that Bree and I were into were Jirard and Alex of Super Beard Bros and The Completionist, Norman Caruso of The Gaming Historian, James Rolfe of The Angry Video Game Nerd, and Arlo. Every single one of them are super nice, although AVGN being there this year caused a bit of bullshit to happen which I’ll detail in a little bit.

I have a little third party NES/SNES console, the RetroDuo, which I’ve had my favorite YouTubers sign for the last three years, all at this con. It’s usually displayed on one of the bookshelves in my studio. This year’s additions were Arlo and James Rolfe. It’s pretty full now:

This is long because of several photos from meet and greets as well as my Zelda haul from the dealer’s room, so...

Arlo! I just discovered his channel over the spring and this was conveniently the first year for him to be at Retropalooza. His content is really fun, and I always look forward to his reactions and discussions to Nintendo Directs and E3. His reaction to the E3 Metroid Prime 4 teaser reveal in particular was priceless.

I’ve met Norman in years past, so we just went to his panel this year. His panels are usually a live version of a Gaming Historian episode along with some Q&A and a little game show based on information from his videos. His live episode was on Punch-Out. He usually does Jeopardy! as the game format, but this time he changed it up to Who Wants to be a Millionaire?... and the lady he picked out of the audience to participate didn’t know the answer to a single damn question. I don’t know why she even raised her hand, because it wasn’t like he even asked anything difficult in the first few questions! If you watched his videos even once you’d know the answers. Bree and I were frustrated because we probably could have gotten to the million dollar question. >:\

Later in the day was AVGN’s panel, and that’s where the bullshit comes in. From the time we first got to the con on Saturday Bree and I noticed that it was way more crowded than usual, enough to get her anxiety going. AVGN doesn’t make a whole lot of convention appearances, so obviously the uptick in attendance was due to him. The people who run this con know gaming, particularly on YouTube since all of their guests are YouTubers. They should have known AVGN was going to attract hoards of people. Did they prepare for that? Of course not. 

Bree and I go to the panel room he’s scheduled to be in 15 minutes before the previous panel ends, and we get our seats. Jirard’s Completionist panel is scheduled right after AVGN in the same room, so we plan to camp out for a little while. 

Right as the previous panel is ending con staff announces that AVGN has been moved to main events, and everybody exits in one mass trying to get over to main events as quickly as possible. We ended up stuck in a massive line that snaked down the hallway and back, and before we know it it’s 1:15... 15 minutes past when the panel was supposed to start. So now we know that if we get IN to this panel, we’re going to have to miss a good chunk of it because for both of us it’s more important to see Jirard’s panel than AVGN. We’re also afraid that AVGN’s panel running over is just going to decimate Jirard’s numbers. 

Con staff comes back and says there won’t be enough chairs for everyone but there’s basically unlimited standing room, which isn’t great for me or my back. They then ask if anybody has a condition that won’t allow them to stand for an entire panel, and I raise my hand. I tell them I had back surgery a few months ago and they say okay, we’ll get you a chair. Which they did. Once they started letting people in they pulled Bree and I out of line and escorted us to two chairs behind the back row, one for me and one for her since she was with me. 

She proceeds to post this to her Snapchat:

This was what the room looked like when the panel started, at 1:25:

We still can’t believe the con didn’t anticipate this. This was the dealer’s room. Meaning the acoustics sucked ass. We couldn’t understand a single thing that was being asked or answered, nor could most of the people in the back of the room. As a result, several people left within the first 10 minutes (and the overall crowds at the con dropped like a ROCK after that panel was over, thank god!). At about 1:45 we gave up and left, too, to go grab seats for Jirard’s Completionist panel, which worked out well because we got front row. Thankfully the room was mostly full by the time the panel started, too.

The Completionist panel was the best of the weekend that we attended, imo. Bree and I were smiling and laughing through the whole thing because it was just that much fun. He had nothing planned because he’d been in Japan until a couple days before that, so it was just a laid back Q&A. He called on both of us to ask questions, and my question (“Given what you just said about Sleepy Jirard, would you say it’s a cure for Jirard Syndrome?”) got quite a bit of an audience reaction as well as a reaction from him, followed by “That was a good question.” with a laugh after he answered. Bree and I hope we can find video of this panel on YouTube soon.

After his panel we went back to the dealer’s room and found him and Alex at their guest table, they recognized us from years past (“Oh hey, guys!”), we chatted for a bit, took pictures, and I gave both of them some little goodies I’d made based on the Kaizo episodes of Super Beard Bros:

These are buttons Bree wanted of the designs I made. I gave both Alex and Jirard keychains of “Ladies and Gentlemen: The Bullet”, then gave Alex “The Goochy” and Jirard “This is not how I end”. They both liked them a LOT and Alex said he was going to put the bullet on his keys, which made me ridiculously happy. These will be available at next year’s A-Kon. 

Before we left for the day on Saturday we saw that the line for AVGN wasn’t too bad, so we decided to give it a shot for autographs and pictures. Thankfully it only took about ten minutes to get through the line, and even though the con had fucked up his panel royally, James was super nice when we got to meet him.

I didn’t realize he had made that face until I saw the picture afterwords. If I had known, I would have made a face, too, dammit! >:\

On Sunday we brought along my mom so she could 1) see what a retro gaming con was like since she’d only been to anime cons, and 2) see the Beard Bros panel/meet them because I had gotten her into their channel over the summer via the Kaizo videos. I introduced her to them separately since they were each talking to different people, and when I said “I recently got her into Super Beard Bros” both of them independently said “I’m sorry” as a response without having heard the other do so. lol 

I’m posting this picture again because I love it. Y’all can deal with it. You’ve read this far.

I had printed out a shot of the Beard Bros title card so my mom could get it signed, and she did. She said she thoroughly enjoyed herself at the con, and I’m hoping she can come out on Sunday next year, too. She bought an NES cart of Classic Concentration, a game that she and I played together on my NES all the time when I was a kid. I wish they’d bring it back on TV because it was a good game show, dammit. 

My Zelda Haul:

The three game box covers are mounted on 1/2″ foam core and I plan to hang them over the TV in my studio since that’s where all of my retro gaming stuff is set up. The BotW box art is layered 3D cutout in a shadow box frame. The Hylian Shield is a new pillow to add to my gaming chair. Not pictured: a Sheik Amiibo that the seller gave me a good price on after some haggling, and a replacement gold Wii remote to replace the one the batteries destroyed a couple months ago. I got that for a really good price, too, from a different seller. He was selling it as a bundle with Skyward Sword, and I of course didn’t need the game. 

“Will you sell this by itself?”

“I was selling it as a bundle, but sure.”

“How much?”

“What will you offer me?”

“Uh... I dunno? I don’t know what it’s going for online right now.”

Bree said, “I’ll check.” and pulled out her phone. I had only seen it in one game shop here in Arlington for $80 and hadn’t tried looking online yet. She turned her phone to the guy and said “On eBay it’s going for anywhere from $45 to $82.”

So then the guy says to me again, “Okay. So what will you offer me?”

“$50?”

“Cash?”

“Yep.”

“Done.”

Yaaaaaaas.

THIS THING is the crown jewel of my haul and I love it to pieces. Guh. I picked it up on Saturday.

Just LOOK AT IT. I bought it from the same seller as the Sheik Amiibo, and I referred to it as “my baby” for the rest of the day and carried it in front of me in its box quite proudly. I had several people tell me it was badass and that was satisfying. Every time I had to get into my backpack for something I told Bree, “Hold my baby.” before handing it over. 

I think I got him for a great price, too. After reaching a deal on Sheik I asked the guy how much the figure was, and he said $100 but asked what I would offer for it. He’d had it up on eBay but pulled it after a week because it wasn’t selling. I’ve only seen it for $110-120+ online, but I went ahead and tried to haggle some more because why the hell not. I asked if he’d do $80, then he asked if I’d do $90 because he gave me a good deal on Sheik (he really did... $10 off of his asking price which was almost a third total!), and I agreed. He said that made him happy because he’d rather the figure go to me “because it looks like you’ll take care of the box” to which I told him yes, of course, I keep all of my boxes in a safe place, and his buddy said “That’s the way to do it!!”. 

And that’s that. I spent the most money this year of any year before now, but I don’t regret a cent of it. Especially on my baby. Bree and I already can’t wait for next year!

[jade-mod]

woooops kept forgetting to do the ‘10 random facts’ thing @shinymod​ tagged me for like... two weeks ago?  Well better late than never!  just had to figure out some things I haven’t said in these sorts of things before...

hmm not sure a couple of these are exactly ‘facts’, more like ‘recent occurrances’

1.  I’ve never been great at learning song lyrics- I only know a couple by memory, and a handful more- if I’m singing along with the music.  Mostly just sing in the car (mostly long car trips, though sometimes shorter ones or on the job if I’m not fond of what the classical radio station is currently playing)- might be able to learn more if I actually bothered to get some of the songs I like on CDs to put in the car

2.  I’m... not great at starting conversations- which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy socializing!  I don’t mean to be distant, I just am not sure how to engage usually.  Once conversation has started it becomes easier to have it carry on.  For this reason its easiest for me to converse within a small group - such as chats in streams.  Too few people, and its less likely that someone will strike up a conversation or come up with a new topic if it stalls, and with too many, there’s a risk of the conversation moving on before I can collect my thoughts and get any words in.

3.  Just started a new job recently!  Well technically I signed on at the start of the year, but didn’t really start until the last couple weeks!  Got a job teaching violin, viola, and (super basic) piano lessons.  So far just been substituting, but sounds like I might get some more regular lessons soon (since one of their current teachers isn’t very reliable)

4.  Still working at my old job though- but with reduced hours.  Don’t open or close anymore, which is really nice

5.  Haven’t been feeling great for a few months, but that’ll hopefully be better soon:  finally went to the doctor (was a hassle, since my previous doctor closed at the end of the year, AND I had to get new (crappy) insurance):  main issue seems to be veeeeeery low vitamin D (8ish units out of an ideal 30, I think), but I’ve got pills for that now- and also now that it’s (theoretically) not winter anymore, should get more sun (seriously daylight savings time is soooo pointless: if anything its backwards even, giving you even less sun in the winter, when you already have so little.  Particularly bad for my job- in the winter sun would be down not long after getting to work)

6.  Trying to find stuff to look forward to, been bummed about a lot of plans falling through recently.  Sister hasn’t been feeling well either, had to cancel a few D&D sessions, board game night this week was cancelled (hadn’t had any of those in a while either), might not be going to Bronycon, and a trip with my mom had to be postponed.

7.  OK one thing I am excited for is sister is fostering kittens again- they were finally born not too long ago, not sure when it’ll be okay to go visit them!

8.  Been getting the itch to get back to a few projects I’ve been neglecting:  Jade and my other blogs, of course, but also other stuff- getting back into making trinkets with stained glass again, and getting art done for a card game my dad had designed so I can maybe finally publish it.

9.  I’m really bad at culturally identifying decades- in particular I have no knowledge of ‘the 90s’ as a ‘thing’ despite (or because?) growing up then.  My knowledge is just very spotty otherwise- mostly just know popular music from the 50s-80s (and probably not all of it at that) cause that’s what my family listened to in the car.

10.  Really wish airships could be a thing again- I really think there could be a market for airship ‘cruise ships’ in particular (obviously not as big as actual cruise ships, those things are huge)- I just  think there’s plenty of stunning inland scenery that would be really cool to slowly fly over

[miphastudies]

17 Questions for 17 People

Thanks @its-bianca​ for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.

Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day) 

Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.

Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again. 

Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).

Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)

Run - Joji Alive - Pearl Jam Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers Tension - Avenged Sevenfold  Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan Nutshell - Alice in Chains Jaded - Aerosmith  The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy 

I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)

Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.

Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo 

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.

Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)

Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me. 

Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though. 

Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space.  Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless. 

Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always. 

Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.

Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.

Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things.  Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :) 

[heytherefandoms]

tagged by @casbabes (I still can’t believe you recognize me)

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 10 people

— what was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: a friend

3. text message: “not really 😅” to a friend asking if I want to call s/o for her

4. song you listened to: Feel Invincible by Skillet

5. time you cried: this night (not bad though, just watched a Love, Simon trailer)

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: no

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: only if pets count

10. been depressed: I don’t think so

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

— fave colours

12. Green

13. Black

14. Rainbow

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: oh hell yes

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. met someone who changed you: spontaneously I’d say no

20. found out who your friends are: not sure, it’s always changing I guess

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them except for the skam fam

23. do you have any pets: a cat (Bellamy)

24. do you want to change your name: no

25. what did you do for your last birthday: just went swimming at the same place as always, with the same people as always, then went home and cooked potatoes with them

26. what time did you wake up today: 10:20am (yey easter break)

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was either on ao3 or watching love simon trailers

28. what is something you can’t wait for: become good at Russian (and Norwegian and Rumanian and Spanish and ...), meet queer real life friends/people, see love simon, lose some weight

30. what are you listening to right now: nothing but it’s lightly raining outside and there’s some birds

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: if thomas counts

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my German professor, forced cheerfulness during holidays

33. most visited website: tumblr

34. hair colour: blonde

35. long or short hair: long, I should probably cut a few centimeters again

36. do you have a crush on someone: I’m not sure? (help)

37. what do you like about yourself: my cat, my eyes and that I stopped caring about what strangers and friends might think about me so much

38. want any piercings: nah

39. blood type: A pos.

40. Nicknames: jess, jessi, pommes, regenwurm

41. relationship status: single af

42. sign: leo

43. pronouns: she

44. fave tv show: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

45. tattoos: none, not sure if I want one or some

46. right or left handed: right

47: ever had surgery: no, just a small removal once

48. piercings: my ears are pierced but I never wear earrings anymore

49. sport: swimming, and zumba when I’m at uni

50. vacation: there’s so many places I want to see someday

51. trainers: ???

— more general

52. eating: trying to eat healthy

53. Drinking: water, usually

54. i’m about to watch: Love, Simon (at the end of fucking june because austria)

55. waiting for: more good queer representation, my brain to stop fucking around, a book I ordered, trump to get impeached, fpö/övp to resign/forced to resign

56. want: real life queer friends, more time to read, to be fluent in multiple languages, my cat to live forever, my friends to be happy

57. get married: I’m not sure but also that’s a billion years away so no worries

58. career: I hope I’ll be able to make a living by translating

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: who? what? context?

62. older or younger:  who? what? context?

63. nice arms or stomach: arms all the way (have you seen gal gadot’s arms?)

64. hookup or relationships: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: if you mean me, hesitant but I’d like to be a troublemaker sometimes

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: no

67. drank hard liquor: yes

68. turned someone down: only if third grade counts

69. sex on first date: no

70: broken someone’s heart: not that I know of

71. had your heart broken: luckily no

72. been arrested: no

73. cried when someone died: you should have seen me when my dog had to be put down

74. fallen for a friend: in love? no. a crush? definitely.

— do you believe in

75. yourself: more than I used to, I’ll get there.

76. miracles: not really but similarly I also don’t believe in god but love stories about Greek and Norse gods so

77. love at first sight: no, how can you be in love with someone you don’t know

78. santa claus: no

79. angels: no

— misc

80. eye colour: ?? blue-gray-ish with brown spots

81. best friend’s name: cyllum, misl

82. favourite movie: Wonder Woman, Schuh des Manitu, Love Simon will probably join

83. favourite actor: do you want a list or? (the main cast of B99 and Black Panther, ADC, TBS, DoB, extra credit for Stephanie Beatriz, ...)

84. favourite cartoon: I don’t think I watch cartoons

85. favourite teacher’s name: ms stocker, ms kortenkamp-auer

tagging: @psychicbouquetblaze-stuff @feministperalta @never-forget-viva-la-pluto @memyselfandmystupidity @six-drink-peraltiago @simon-and-bram-and-oreos @austrianshitposting @stereks @skyprincess-and-heda @of-danvid-and-stars (I know nothing about you or your blog except that you’re willing to punch homophobic assholes so here you go)

[itslikethatfrenchthing]

This Is Why No One Is Commenting On Your Instagram Posts

  You’ve published 5 Instagram posts this week and once again, you’ve hardly had comments. What gives? I see you, and I get it.

Because I’ve been there… 

But I’m not anymore. What if I told you that you could get more comments easily on all of your Instagram posts, every single day? You may think I’m bluffing, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve. 

What if I told you there is ONE big reason you don’t get comments on your social media posts? Are you ready to make this change in your business and start getting more engagement online? 

These go-to call to action ideas will help you increase, engagement, clicks and sales so you can build relationships with potential customers, increase your brand awareness and generate more sales. 

P.S. If you’re ready to learn more about how to create content that connects and converts, save your spot at my FREE From Productivity To Profit Challenge here.

WHY CALLS TO ACTION ARE SO IMPORTANT

People make decisions in a fraction of a second on social media. On a website, it takes less than 15 seconds for someone to decide if they’re going to stick around. You can bet your bottom dollar that it takes way less time than that on a platform like Instagram. 

So if someone gets to the end of reading one of your Instagram posts and you’re not spelling it out in black and white what you want them to do when they get to the end of your post...what do you expect?

The role of a call to action is to direct people into what they should do next. It’s used to tell the user exactly what action to take and how to take it. 

We’ll get into how to create a persuasive and effective call to action later but first, let’s talk about the importance of CTAs.

A lot of businesses simply use the words “sign up” or “buy now” in their Instagram posts and hope that it’s enough to drive conversions. They put so much time, energy and money into the creation of their social media, blog, and email content, and then just slap a half-hearted call to action on the end. And then wonder why they fail.

We don’t just want any old call to action on our Instagram posts - we want a strong call to action that convinces people to act.

Really, there are two main purposes of a call to action:

To tell someone what they should do

To give them the motivation to do so

A lot of people remember to tell people what they should do, but they forget the why part of that equation. But without that, you won’t see the types of conversion rates that you should. While sometimes, your content before the call to action will answer this question, sometimes it doesn’t. Even if it does, a quick recap makes the call to action even more powerful.

WHY YOUR ENGAGEMENT ON INSTAGRAM IS LOW

I think we can narrow it down to 3 main reasons why you’re not getting comments on your Instagram posts.

#1 | You’re not asking for comments

If you’re not specifically asking people to “comment below”, they won’t! You might think it’s too obvious but you need to spell it out for people what it is that you actually want them to do. If you just end your post with a sentence and don’t ask a question, you can’t complain that you didn’t get any comments - you’ve got to ask for them.

#2 | Your call to action is too complex or vague

The key to a great call to action is keeping it simple. If you ask a question such as, “what are your thoughts on this” - that’s very vague and doesn’t really give your readers a good enough, or easy starting point for writing a comment on your post.

On the flipside, if you ask them a question that’s too complex or you’re asking them to share information that’s too personal, they’ll also be put off and won’t leave a comment at all. That’s why the best thing to do is to keep it simple. 

#3 | Every call to action asks for a sale

If every single call to action on your feed says “buy now” or “hit the link in my bio”, we want to change this ASAP! The real problem with this is that if people become used to the fact that you’re always trying to sell to them, they’ll stop coming to your feed because they’ll assume you won’t give them anything else. Serve before you sell. Always.

THE BEST CALL TO ACTION IDEAS FOR PRODUCT & SERVICE BASED BUSINESSES

Before we get into the examples, let’s break down the two types of categories that most call to actions generally fall under. We want to make sure that every single one of our calls to action fits under one of these categories on our Instagram posts.

#1 | Engagement CTA

The first call to action is for engagement. Engagement on all social media is crucial. It’s the little “yes”. When you can get someone to comment on something, they are saying “yes” to you. Over time, enough of these can lead to the sale.

While engagement has always been important and a big focus area for me, I now believe that there is some added benefit to having a highly engaged audience on Instagram. Great engagement can push you out into the algorithm, as well as help you reach the Top Posts area for any of your given hashtags.

What I’m trying to say is: engagement is important! And luckily, it is somewhat within your control. These call to actions are great for inviting engagement by some kind of question or invitation for discussion.

#2 | Conversion CTA

The second call to action is where you direct people to the link in your bio to take the next step with you. Remember, you don’t own your Instagram audience (Instagram does!), so it is wise to move people to where you do business, an area that you can control - like your website. 

This call to action has a specific purpose. Whether it’s to get someone to sign up to your opt-in freebie or check out your new product for sale, a conversion call to action is asking them to take action on something.

Remember - a social media audience is not the be all and end all. It really should be used as a vehicle to share your message and drive traffic to your own website, products and services.

Now, let’s tackle the elephant in the room: every single one of your Instagram posts should have a call to action, but not every single one should be a direct sell.

So, what can you use as a call to action instead of “hit the link in my bio”? Here are some of my favourites.

Call To Action Examples:

Double tap if you agree

Comment below if you…

DM me if you…

Tag a friend who…

Click the link in my bio

What is one word to describe…?

Can you relate? 

Have you done this?

Have you tried this?

Vote for your favourite: A or B!

On a scale of 1-10…

Which is your favourite?

Can you guess what it is?

Share this with someone who needs it

Save this post

Tell me below

Powerful Words To Use:

Get

Buy

Shop

Try

Learn

Build

Sign up

Register

Click

Discover

Start 

Stop 

Download

Join

Build 

Gain

Go

Get my secrets

Gain access

Ways To Add Urgency

Limited time

Limited amount

Only a few left

Ending soon

Members only

Exclusive

Deadline

Don’t miss out

Only x days left

Hurry

One time offer

Won’t last long

Ending on x date

Holiday special

Today only

There you have it! If you want people to engage with your content, comment or take some sort of action, you need to spell it out for them. Now you have the ideas to do just that! Remember, selling comes from serving, not just advertising what you’re selling, so mix up your call to actions for your Instagram posts and take on the challenge to include one in every single post.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO CREATE CONTENT THAT CONNECTS AND CONVERTS?

Register for my free 4-day challenge From Productivity To Profit - we kick off on September 21st!

ABOUT THE BLOGGER

Hi! I’m Holly Bray

I’m an expert at online marketing, a nerd when it comes to the numbers, and my obsession is teaching others how to know what tasks to focus on so they can create a business that GIVES them life (not one that takes it away).

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[themurphyzone]

Oneshot: A Mammalian Match

So in Platypus Onesies For All, I made a terrible error. I did not actually write about the glory that is Heinz Doofenshmirtz in a platypus onesie. This oneshot is a kind of a sequel. 

It was Dress Up Like An Animal Day. This year, the day happened to coincide with the dinner party the American division was hosting for the international branches of the OWCA. The most recent memo encouraged dressing like an animal instead of the formal attire of years past. 

While Perry would’ve gotten away with just his fedora, he felt terrible leaving Heinz hanging. Matching was much more fun anyway. And he was touched that Heinz bought a little ocelot hoodie that even came with a fake tail just for him. It was much cozier than the stiff material of a suit. 

Perry also allowed Heinz to apply kitty whiskers with a thin paintbrush. There were three black streaks on each cheek, easily washable of course. 

“I can see why this is so popular,” Heinz said, flipping the bill of the onesie over his fedora. “You wanna feel? It’s really fuzzy. Hopefully not too fuzzy though. You know how when you’re wearing winter socks and the fuzz gets caught between your toes? That’s what it feels like.” 

Perry ran his fingers up and down Heinz’s arm, chattering as he felt the material squish in his hand. 

Heinz grinned. “I know you like it too. We don’t have to leave just yet. We can totally get away with being fashionably late. Why do they call it that anyway? What does fashion have to do with an inability to show up on time?”

Perry tugged him to his feet. They were going to arrive on time, and that was final. 

OWCA sure knew how to pick the venue. They’d rented out the local convention center, which had been renovated to include a brand new ballroom. It was such a big deal that the local news had done a special segment over the building, complete with interview from Roger himself. 

Perry had a great time playing ‘keep the remote away from Heinz in case he threw it at the television’ that night. 

“Remember when you thwarted me when I tried destroying this place with the Rocking Chair-inator?” Heinz asked, wiping a tear from his eye. “Man, good times. I wish I’d gotten a picture of your face when you got thrown on top of one of the statues. That was priceless!” 

Perry scowled, then pointed at the greeter, who was staring at Heinz in disbelief. Not exactly the most tactful thing to say to someone who made their living here. The greeter made a big show of checking their tickets to stall them, and Heinz protested the entire time. 

Finally, they were allowed in. The dining hall was straight ahead, several large banquet tables set up in the middle with assorted fruits and cheese neatly lining fancy silver platters. The animals mingled with each other, while the humans were more content to stick to the group they flew in with. 

Candace was right about accidentally starting a fashion trend. Platypus onesies were definitely the most popular costume of the night. The Australian branch was completely decked in teal and orange. Even the echidna and kangaroo with them had platypus memorabilia. 

Upon seeing Perry and Heinz, they gasped and surrounded them completely. Perry shifted nervously, and Heinz laughed. “Shy in front of your own fan club, Perry the Platypus? Come on, if any guy deserves a fan club, it’s you! Though I’d totally be the president of it.”

“I follow your blog! Did Perry the Platypus really blow up all your inventions?” 

“Why is his fur teal?”

“Have you ever been stabbed by his venomous spurs?” 

Heinz lifted his hands in a futile attempt to quiet them enough so he could talk. “Not all of my inventions. Just the ones used for evil. I still have Norm though. I hope he isn’t making too many muffins again. He destroyed the kitchen last time he made them, you know. And I have no idea why his fur is teal. A mutation maybe, and I read up on the venomous spur thing. He doesn’t need those to inflict a world of hurt.”

Satisfied, the agents took several selfies for keepsakes. Perry sighed in relief when they took interest in a few avian agents. 

“Come on, so people are giving you a little attention,” Heinz said. “You should be happy about that!” 

Perry shook his head. Fan clubs just weren’t his thing. 

“Yeah, I guess if you’re supposed to be a secret agent, you aren’t supposed to be drawing attention. That’s why secret’s in the name. Whoever heard of an attention agent?”

Perry grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the buffet table. They would both need the energy if they were going to socialize. Since it was still early, the servers had only put out the appetizers. It would be an hour before the main courses were brought out and they were called to be seated. 

The table was so high that Perry had to sit on Heinz’s shoulders to get a good look at the food available. There were several odd looks from some of the stuffier visitors, but Perry paid them no mind. He was more concerned about directing Heinz so that he got enough marinara with his calamari. 

Heinz settled for the crackers and loaded his plate with every slice of cheese available. Perry hopped off and grabbed the plate of calamari from him, completely coating a ring with sauce before eating it. 

“You could’ve said please,” Heinz complained. “Or sign-languaged please. Do platypi have a word for it? Or is this one of the things that doesn’t translate?” 

Perry shrugged, popping another piece into his bill. There was no need for him to give his ‘I’m hungry’ chatter here. Besides, that was the closest thing platypi had to the magic words. 

Heinz played with his food, the tip of his tongue sticking out as he concentrated heavily on arranging the cheese in a strange pattern. After a few minutes, he finished and proudly displayed a cheese and cracker version of Perry on his plate. 

The body was made of Colby Jack, while the bill was sharp cheddar. A cracker was broken into two halves, one for the hat and the other for the tail.

Perry took one of the creation’s pepperjack arms and chewed on it. Heinz grinned. “I’m just gonna pretend you liked it and didn’t eat your own arm.” 

“There you two are!” someone exclaimed. 

They whirled around to see Major Monogram approaching them. Perry wasn’t sure if his scowl was directed at Heinz or at Carl. They’d made a bet a week before, and Carl won. As a result, he got first pick of the animal costumes. 

And now Major Monogram was dressed like a chipmunk. 

Perry quickly saluted his superior, although he knew he it wouldn’t be that professional anyway. He flicked off a small speck of cheese stuck to the side of his bill. 

“Nice ocelot outfit, Agent P,” Major Monogram said. “Your onesie is tacky, Doofenshmirtz. And unoriginal. Everyone and their mother is wearing one of those now.” 

Heinz raised an eyebrow. “Sure, Monobrow. At least mine is trendy. Chipmunks are so 80s of you. Just out of curiosity, what would you and Carl have dressed up as if you’d won that bet?” 

“It was only a lucky fluke,” Monogram grumbled. “I would’ve won if it hadn’t been for that meddling kid in the sweatervest and his dog.” 

“Wow, never heard a good guy say that one before,” Heinz remarked. Perry was surprised too. 

It was pretty cliche though. 

“I would’ve liked to go as a bear. Probably would’ve stuck Carl in a fox costume,” Monogram said. “Enjoy the party, I’ll see you at the table when we’re called down. I’d better drag Carl away from the other squirrels. Catch you later.”

An almost civil conversation between Heinz and Monogram. Weird. 

They spent the next thirty minutes learning of their apparent celebrity status in the international branches. The cat in the Japanese division had started purring and rubbing herself against Perry. Her superior and Heinz had to work together to pull them apart when she’d latched onto him, her front paws digging into his hoodie. 

Thankfully, they broke apart before her claws could damage the material. Her superior apologized profusely to both of them. The cat pouted as she was reprimanded sternly for her behavior. 

“Probably the jacket,” Heinz said. He gently knocked Perry’s side with an elbow. “Do me a favor and avoid female cats that want to flirt with you.”

Perry shrugged. She-cats just weren’t his type. 

Then Heinz somehow managed to attract the attention of two female agents in the COWCA. Unfortunately, Lyla wasn’t with them since Bannister broke out of prison and she had to go deal with him.

Heinz being Heinz, he didn’t even realize they were flirting with him. 

And Perry wasn’t the sharing type. 

Before he could figure out a good excuse to lead Heinz away, an announcement sounded over the P.A. “Attention, everyone take your seats at your tables. Dinner will begin shortly.” 

Thank goodness. 

The table even had name cards. Heinz quickly snatched Monogram’s card and crossed out the last half of his name with a red pen, replacing it with ‘brow’. He also scribbled a smiley face with the tongue sticking out. Then he put the card back, giggling. 

Heinz wasn’t a bad guy anymore (loosely defined), but his pettiness would never go away. Perry could live with it. 

Carl flopped down in his chair, crossing his arms at Monogram. “You could’ve just asked.”

“I asked four different times, Carl,” Monogram retorted. He frowned at his name card. “Monobrow? Seriously?”

Carl high-fived Heinz. “Yes!” he cheered. “I love karma!”

Now was one of those times Perry was glad he couldn’t speak. Otherwise Monogram would find out that listening to Heinz say ‘Monobrow’ all the time occasionally made Perry call him that in his head too. 

“Hey, I consider Monobrow one of the best play on words I’ve ever made,” Heinz laughed. “I mean mono and uni are prefixes for the same thing, so the name still fits. Besides, I gotta be original here because making fun of that mustache is way too easy.”

“Making fun of that beak you call a nose is way too easy,” Monogram muttered. 

Heinz frowned. “Wow. You should really learn something more original.” 

The entrees arrived, several large platters of food being set in the middle of every table. The calamari had been delicious, sure, but one small plate wasn’t going to fill him up. 

Heinz grabbed Perry’s plate and scooped the mashed potatoes and chicken for him. Perry flashed a thumbs up and dug in. Monogram snatched the serving fork as Carl was reaching for it. 

“Rude, much?” Heinz whispered. 

Perry shrugged. He would take this brand of rude instead of the whole ‘humans are the superior species’ stuff any day. The sensitivity training Monogram had been forced to take was clearly not working. 

As they ate, someone came on stage on started talking about ‘unity’ and ‘integrity’ and a whole bunch of other ‘-ties’. Perry wasn’t paying attention. The food was too delicious for him to care about some stuffy guy giving a speech. 

And Heinz. It was hard to pay attention when his best friend was decked out in turquoise. 

And rocked it too. Not that he’d ever tell him that. 

Perry needed to figure out a way to thank Candace for accidentally starting the fashion trend. Ah, well. For now, he was going to enjoy the rest of the night.