#i wrote this back in june of 2021-- and for him to make it a reality 😳🫠😭💖 what a king

[blizzardfluffykpop]

I'm reblogging this due to Yugyeom's promo for Ponytail dropping *I just remembered I had a scenario that matched up* I'm losing my mind here--

[1:30 pm] you notice the nail salon is open, while you’re shopping with Yugyeom. and he asks if you would like to go with him. you immediately agree, “how much for them and i?” your mouth drops open and as the person gives a rough estimate, he tells you, “i thought it would be cute to get them done together.” you grin wildly and kiss his cheeks as both of you sit down at the chairs. you ask for black with red-yellow flames. when they finish up with you make a claw motion at him and he laughs. he gets his nails done he asks to have accent nails with flames and the rest to be shiny black.

when you two finish and admire each other’s nails he asks, “how do you operate with these?” you laugh and tell him more paw less claw and he grins and says, “i can’t wait to get this done with you again.” the blush that crawls on your cheeks is bright red as you kiss him. he grabs your hand and intertwines it in his as you two walk out happily together.

[rivalsforlife]

pardon me if you’re tired of discussing this but. we know aa7 is on capcom’s radar on some level. and now they’ve rereleased every game right?? they’ve finally run out of backlog material after almost yearly releases since 2019…. Not to put the clown wig and nose back on too early but do you think we’ll actually get news about, or get to see, aa7 next year?

Never tired of discussing this!! This is right around the time of year where I'd be preparing to make my yearly AA7 Speculation Post anyway so this is great timing. (TGS, my enemy, is approaching.)

So just to make sure everyone's on the same page, here's a quick recap of where we're currently at:

In November 2020 we got internal Capcom leaks which included a calendar from 2019 with the roadmap for the AA series the next couple of years. This included:

DGS1&2 collection, which I did not think was going to happen ever, releasing April-June 2021

AA7, releasing around October-December 2021, right around the 20th anniversary.

Through late 2019-mid 2022, reconsider porting 456

We got DGS1&2 (a bit later than in the plan, but by like a month), we got the 456 ports, we got bonus AAI ports, we have nothing for AA7 nearly three years after it was supposed to come out. The pandemic is an obvious feature that could contribute to its delay, but at this point with 456 ports out I think we can safely say that this was not the only cause.

Some other things that may or may not be contributing to AA7's delay include:

Yamazaki, the previous main writer for 5&6 and the AAIs, left Capcom in 2020. If he was involved in AA7 at all, that could throw a wrench into things, but I recall hearing he intended AA6 to be his last AA game (I AM STRUGGLING TO FIND THE SOURCE THOUGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME), so I don't think this contributed very much. It does, however, mean that we're unsure about who the next main writer is - depending on what Takumi's up to or if they had to bring someone new on, there could be complications related to that.

I think TGAA did way better than anyone expected, which I covered in this post. It's possible that this could have shifted Capcom's priorities to porting more old games / porting to all modern consoles. It may have made people at Capcom think "damn everyone loves Takumi" so they tried to lure him back to AA7, and I have no idea how well that would have gone or if Takumi is even interested in continuing mainline AA right now. (I do think this at least contributed to the Ghost Trick ports.)

In my first ever AA7 speculation post I talked about how the ending of AA6 kind of wrote them into a corner re: how to continue with the series and which protagonist to use. I still stand by that argument even if a lot of that post aged badly.

Console ports! Previously new AA games were for whichever Nintendo handheld is out now (GBA, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS). But now that the series is doing really well on all consoles, they may have decided to try to make their next mainline entry on all consoles, which would take more development time. Adding to this is that the Switch is near the end of its lifecycle with the Switch 2 (or whatever the successor will be) being announced soon - meaning that, if AA7 is coming out soon, Capcom is in the position of "do we try to squeeze this into the end of the Switch's lifecycle" (which, I'll need to find sources for this, is speculated to be some of the reasons behind why AAI2 and DGS2 sold badly when they were first released, and they can't make the same mistake thrice... right...?) or "do we try to time it with the release of the Switch 2"?

Also, a lot of this depends on how far AA7 was into development whenever it was derailed. If it was derailed from the pandemic, then according to the calendar, it would likely have still been in the prototype stage. It may be early enough that they would have had to start from scratch whenever they picked it up again. I don't work in the gaming industry so I have no idea how long it takes them to make a game or how easy it would be from what stage they're in.

One thing we can compare to is some of the comments about the recent AAI ports: in this interview, Shunsuke Nishida, the producer of the AAI collection, says that development on the collection began in 2022. He also mentions that this began once development on 456 was concluded. This leads me to believe that (contrary to my previous assumptions) 456 and AAIC were not developed concurrently (or if so, had very minimal overlap), and that the process of upscaling graphics, porting, and localization took them... about a year, maybe? So that takes time, even without taking into consideration how long it would take to come up with a new idea + write the script + the bulk of the programming that would have to be done that isn't considered with porting + probably way more than I can think of because again I do not work in the gaming industry.

There's also the question of why 456 and AAIC weren't developed concurrently. The calendar from 2020 shows that TGAA and AA7 were meant to be developed at least somewhat concurrently, and the staff from TGAA would eventually merge into working on AA7. Once again, we don't know what happened to the staff that were supposed to be working on AA7. It's possible pandemic complications meant they got shuffled onto other projects. It's possible the AA-related team is smaller now than it was in 2020, so they only have enough people to work on one project at a time. It's also possible that there's a team that was working on ports, and a team that was working on a new game, and now the "port team" is freed up to work on the "new game team".

Either way though, pretty much every interview with the staff for the 456 or AAI ports are all saying "look forward to the future of the series", which is definitely Corporate Speak, but unless they're bringing the ports of the Layton crossover (fingers crossed) that can only mean one thing. (AAI anime?) Plus, like I've discussed in this post, AA is having fantastic sales in general. They've seemingly either hired a new social media manager or changed the strategy so there is much more engagement on twitter. And AA is getting on bigger and bigger announcements - though AA trilogy ports were announced at TGS (at an AA-specific panel), TGAA duology ports were announced unceremoniously on twitter. Afterwards, 456 ports got announced at the Capcom Showcase during Summer Game Fest. And now AAI collection got announced at a Nintendo Direct, which I imagine is even more expensive, so the series must be going in a good direction for them to think that's worth it!

That's a lot of rambling for me to say I definitely think it's coming.

When are we going to see it though!!

Coming up in September is my eternal enemy Tokyo Game Show. Since AAI collection is being released at the beginning of September... it might be a bit too soon to announce a new game, but who knows. They might think it's profitable to ride the hype they're building now for AAI collection to announce a new game. Or they might let it sit for a while.

With AAIC getting announced at a Direct, I'm thinking they'll want to make AA7's announcement a) big and b) global. AA6 was announced in Famitsu, but the problem with that is that it's a mostly Japanese audience, and some interviews have been talking about how AA's global audience is particularly contributing to how big it is right now. So I'm expecting AA's next announcement to be at something major and something that will get attention from overseas audiences.

If they have been working on AA7 concurrently -- and honestly I do think there has at least been some progress on it since 2019 -- we could definitely see an announcement within the next year. I was also saying this in 2020, though, so don't take my word for it. There's been two year gaps between ports up until the AAI collection, and they seemed pretty proud about releasing 456 and AAI in the same year, so... maybe they'll want to keep it going and announce AA7 within the next year, especially if they'll have a longer announcement -> release period than they normally would for ports.

Potential candidates include:

Tokyo Game Show: As previously stated, it's very close to the AAIC release, so I don't think it's the best timing for it. I would not want my favorite AA game overshadowed by whatever the hell they're going to do with AA7. Likelihood: depends on how fast they want to follow up on the hype.

The Game Awards: is the next major gaming event, but that's already massive in terms of the type of games that get announced there, and it's expensive! Nintendo Direct is one thing since AA has always been a Nintendo-first series, but I don't think it's big enough to justify putting in a Game Awards ad. and I already have my clown wig on for persona 6 there. Likelihood: pretty low tbh

Next Year's Summer Game Fest-related Shows: I think this is the most likely, considering both the 456 collection and the AAI collection were announced around this time. For AA7 I'd say a Nintendo Direct to get lots of eyes on it, especially if AAIC sales pay off. Likelihood: pretty high!

Which leads me into my wildcard answer:

Switch 2 Announcement Stream: If Capcom decides to go in and make AA7 one of the first games for whatever the switch successor would be, it could be announced here. I regret to admit that I am a very bad gamer and only like two things, and therefore have not ever been present for one of these things to know how many games get announced as launch games for a new console, but, like, it's possible.

In the above scenario, I'm not necessarily saying that AA7 would be a Switch 2 exclusive - because I think that would be stupid after so much of the support they've gotten from the ports has been from playstation and steam - but I am definitely the kind of person who would buy a console for one video game. Shoutout to me buying a switch in part anticipating that aa7 would come out on it and that is not looking likely

Anyways, that's my speculation!! Reminder that this is mostly uninformed and that I have no knowledge of anything related to sales or marketing or video game development, and as a result of that, I have been wrong (aside from the one time I accurately predicted AAI ports as a joke) for four consecutive years.

[dailytomlinson]

During the pandemic the songwriter and producer James Vincent McMorrow would rise early, go for a run and write songs for Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction.

“I actually made half of a record for him,” he says. Tomlinson’s team “had a lot of songs but maybe not a lot that he was as into as he wanted to be. I think they were maybe looking for a weirdo. So they reached out to me. I love him. He’s a fascinating human being. I absolutely loved making that album,” adds McMorrow, who is about to start a tour of Ireland.

When it comes to potential collaborators with a boy band megastar, McMorrow’s name is not the first that springs to mind. He’s an indie songwriter whose open-veined, falsetto-driven pop has been compared to that of folkies such as Bon Iver and Sufjan Stevens. But Tomlinson was a fan of the Dubliner’s beautifully wrought music. He wasn’t alone: Drake famously sampled McMorrow on his 2016 track Hype.

One of the tracks they wrote together, The Greatest, would serve as the opener to Tomlinson’s second LP, Faith in the Future. As is often the way with the music industry, the rest are in a vault somewhere. Still, for McMorrow the opportunity to work with a pop star was about more than simply putting his craft in front of a wider audience. The call from Tomlinson’s team had come at a low point for the Irishman, who had become mired in confusion and doubt after signing to a major label for the first time in his career.

Executives at Columbia Records had recognised potential in McMorrow as an artist who bridged the divide between folk and pop. The fruits of that get-together would see daylight in September 2021 as the excellent Grapefruit Season LP, on which McMorrow teamed up with Paul Epworth, who has also produced Adele and Florence Welch.

The album was a beautifully gauzy rumination on the birth of his daughter and the muggy roller coaster of first-time parenthood. It went top 10 in Ireland and breached the top 100 in the UK. Yet the experience of working within the major-label system was strange for McMorrow, who at that point had been performing and recording for more than a decade. He didn’t hate it. But he knew he didn’t ever want to do it again.

“It was a weird time. I stopped touring in 2017. My daughter was born in 2018. I signed with Columbia Records at the same time and made a record that ... There were moments within it I was proud of. But fundamentally, I think if I was being very honest, I would say that I definitely got lost in the weeds of what the music industry wanted for me rather than what I wanted for myself.”

Finding his way out of the weeds involved putting out The Less I Knew, a mixtape of tracks, in 2022, and, in June 2024, Wide Open, Horses, the official follow-up to Grapefruit Season. It’s a fantastic reboot from an artist who has found his way into the light once again. The album showcases McMorrow’s propulsive voice – imagine a goth Bee Gees – and his ability to turn a diaristic observation about a tough day into musical quicksilver, as he does on White Out, a blistering ballad that draws on his experience of suffering a panic attack while out at the shops (“white out on the city street ... pain comes from strangest places”).

He workshopped the project with two concerts at the National Concert Hall in Dublin in March 2023, performing the as-yet-unfinished record all the way through. The risk of something going amiss was significant – which was why he did it in the first place.

“Those shows, that process was me very much back on my bullshit,” he says, meaning that, having tried to fit into a corporate structure, he was embracing his old idiosyncratic methods once again.

“I’m the worst sort of career musician in a lot of ways. I do the weird thing. I like doing things that make me interested selfishly. ‘I’m engaged with this process.’ ‘The stress of this is making me feel the way that I want to feel.’ And I’d lost that. Doing those two shows was me doing something where I was, like, ‘There’s stakes to this’ ... ‘If I f**k this up, people are going to see it.’ That brings out the best in me.”

McMorrow grew up in Malahide, the well-to-do town in north Co Dublin; as a secondary-school student he suffered debilitating shyness. In 2021 he revealed that he had struggled with an eating disorder at school, ending up in hospital (“Anorexia that progressed into bulimia”). He was naturally retiring, not the sort to crave the spotlight. But he was drawn to music. “It was definitely a difficult journey,” he says. He wasn’t alone in that. “The musicians that tend to cut through and make it ... A lot of my friends, musicians that are successful, they’re not desperate for the stage.”

The Tomlinson collaboration was part of his strange relationship with the mainstream music industry. It went back to McMorrow’s third LP, Rising Water, from 2016. A move away from his earlier folk-pop, the project had featured engineering from Ben Ash, aka Two Inch Punch, a producer who had worked with chart artists such as Jessie Ware, Sia and Wiz Khalifa.

That was followed by the Drake sample in 2016 and by McMorrow writing the song Gone, which was at one point set to be recorded by a huge pop star whom he’d rather not identify.

“Gone is the red herring of red herrings in my entire career. I wrote that song for other people. I didn’t write it for myself. The whole reason I signed to Columbia Records and I had all these deals was because of Gone. I was very happy tipping away in my weird little world. And then I wrote that song, and a lot of bigger artists came in to try to take it,” he says.

“I won’t name names. There were recordings of it done. It got very close to being a single for someone else. I would go in these meetings with all these labels, and I would play it for them – just to play. Not with any sense of ‘This is my song.’ And they were, like, ‘You’re out of your mind if you don’t take this song. This is the song that will make you the thing that is the thing.’ And I was, like, ‘You’re wrong.’ For a year I basically was, like, ‘I disagree.’ And if you go in a room with enough people enough times and they tell you that you’re crazy ... I loved the song, but I did not love it for me. I never felt I fit. There was a little part of me that wanted to believe.”

As he had predicted, Gone wasn’t a hit. He received a lot of other strange advice, including that he cash in on the mercifully short-lived craze for NFTs by putting out an LP as a watermarked internet file. All of that was swirling in his brain when Tomlinson got in touch. To be able to step outside his own career was exactly what McMorrow needed.

“With Louis it was like boot camp. I had a very limited time with him. I had to wake up every morning, go for a run, write a song in my head, go to the studio. We made songs all day long. It lit a fire in my head again. I loved the process. I like sitting and talking to someone like Louis, who’s had this unbelievably fascinating lifestyle – so much tragedy in his life,” he says. Tomlinson’s mother and sister died within three years of each other, and his 1D bandmate Liam Payne died in October. “So many things have happened to him. I chatted to him and then write constantly. That was a lovely process.”

Because life is strange and full of contrasts McMorrow ended up working with Tomlinson around the same time that he was producing the Dublin postpunk “folk-metal” band The Scratch, on their LP Mind Yourself. “Totally different animals,” he says. “The Scratch album was an intense period in the studio of that real old-school nature of making music. A lot of fights. A lot of pushing back against ideas. A lot of different opinions. And you have to respect everybody’s opinions and find the route through.”

During his brief time on a major label, McMorrow was reminded of the music industry’s weakness for short-term thinking. In 2019, the business was obsessed with streaming numbers and hot-wiring the Spotify algorithm so that your music posted the highest possible number of plays.

“Everyone was driven by stats. ‘This song has 200 million streams.’ ‘That song has 400 million streams.’ I went into my meetings with Columbia Records ... the day I had my first big marketing meeting was the day my catalogue passed a billion streams, which, for someone like me, who started where I started, was a day where I should be popping champagne corks. Instead they immediately started talking about how they have artists that have one song that has two billion streams. So by their rule of thumb I was half as successful as one song by one artist on their label.”

Five years later he believes things have changed. He points to Lankum, a group who will never set Spotify alight yet who have carved a career by doing their own thing and not chasing the short-term goal of a place on the playlist. They are an example to other musicians, McMorrow says.

“I was in Brooklyn, doing two nights, a week and a half ago. In the venue across the road from where we were, pretty much, Lankum were doing two nights and had [the Dublin folk artist] John Francis Flynn opening for them. Those are two artists that, if you were to look at their stats, you wouldn’t be, like, ‘These are world-beating musicians.’ You start aggregating to this stat-based norm and you miss bands like Lankum, bands like The Mary Wallopers, people like John Francis Flynn.”

McMorrow is looking forward to his forthcoming Irish tour, which he sees as another leg of his journey to be his best possible self.

“The last two, three years have been a process of building it back to a version of me that actually made me happy rather than making me cry at night-time – a version that was making music because I liked it. Within this industry there’s so much outside noise. It’s quite overwhelming. I was overwhelmed. It’s been nice to reset the clock.”

[sweetdispatch]

Breakup & achievements - N. Hischier

When Two Sports Collide | previous chapter

timeline: December 2020 - June 2021

summary: Lisa reunited with Nico but this brings another problems on her

warning: swearing, mentions of cheating

words: 1.4k

note: i would love to end this whole story before end of the year so enjoy another chapter!

---

Lisa looked at the notification longer than she should. She didn’t know how to react after reading this comment. Nico hasn't spoken to her in 6 months to drop a bomb like that now. She felt lost because he was the one to break contact between them to now, feel proud of her. She decided to call Lottie and tell her about it.

“What the fuck is wrong with Nico?” 

“What do you mean?” Lottie was confused. 

“He commented that he’s proud of me. Dude ghosted me for half of a year and now he’s feeling proud?” Lisa laughed. “Pathetic”

“Maybe he wants to fix your friendship” 

“Then he should send me a message where he’s explaining why he did that and not commenting that he’s proud. He can’t be proud. He wasn’t there with me since my comeback”

“You’re overreacting Lisa. The best solution is to ignore it and see where this will go” 

Lisa’ life went on. After winning Euro, she focused on handball like never before. She felt that after the injury, she’s in the best shape she’s ever been. Her team, Vipers Kristiansand, was winning game after game. It looked like nothing could stop them. All the girls were hungry for success, especially that 2019/2020 season was cancelled due to a pandemic. 

In February, Nico was named a captain of the New Jersey Devils. Lisa was happy for him but decided not to tell him that. He was ignoring her after the pandemic and later randomly started liking her posts. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her desperation to have him in her life. 

Month later, Lisa found out that Lottie broke her friendship with Maya. Lottie was devastated about how things turned out with Maya but she knew that it was the only right decision to cut her off from her life. It was shocking for her because she was the first girl to help her settle down in Switzerland. 

“You won’t believe what this bitch did” Lottie started the conversation.

“Who?” Lisa was confused.

“Fucking Maya Trunz” 

“What?” 

“She slept with the guy I like! I was flirting with him for months and she decided to fuck him” Lottie said with tears in her eyes.

“Wait, let me get this straight. She cheated on Nico with the guy you like? Am I understanding correctly?” 

“Yeah, she’s such a whore. Gosh I hate her. She was my close friend and stabbed me in the back” Now, Lottie was fully crying. 

“Fucking bitch… Does Nico know?” No matter how much Lisa was mad at him, she knew that he deserved the truth.

“Yeah, I told him that. He broke up with her but she’s trying to apologise to him hoping that he’ll forgive her. She’s pathetic” Lottie said. 

“She really is. Look at the bright side Lottie. You have one less toxic person in your life and this guy never deserved you if he slept with your friend” Lisa tried to make her feel better. 

“Yeah, true” 

“If you want, you can fly and spend some time with me. You’re always welcome in my apartment” 

“Thanks Lisa, at least you’re normal” They both giggled.

After the conversation, something changed in Lisa. She decided to write to Nico to congratulate him for becoming a captain. It was a rush of emotions but she felt that they might reunite without Maya in the picture. Deep down, Lisa felt that because of her, Nico decided to end their friendship. He responded to her immediately.

“Congratulations on becoming the captain and good luck out there!” Lisa wrote, it was a simple message. 

“Thank you Lisa! And congratulations to you on winning Euro. You killed out there” Nico responded. 

“Thanks Nico” She sent the message, thinking that their conversation was over. 

“I want to apologise for not responding in summer. I don’t have any excuse for this but just wanted to say that I’m really sorry. I had fun talking with you and I wish to still have it” You read his message a couple times before you wrote him back. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I thought we’re friends and then you pulled out shit like that, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong” 

“You did nothing wrong. It was me who messed up but I want to fix it… Only if you let me”

“Ghost me again and I swear, I’m blocking you” Nico laughed when he read this message.

Knowing that Nico is single now, Lisa was careful with him. She wanted him as his friend because they always had a great time but didn’t want to break Sander’ trust. She loved him deeply. The last thing she wanted was him breaking up with her. She saw the change in him after he found out about her talking with Nico during the pandemic and knew that she can’t tell him that she’s talking with him. 

Lisa felt bad for going behind Sander’ back, with her friendship but she didn’t want to choose. She tried to explain to herself that she and Nico live far away and nothing will ever happen. They were just friends but she knew that Sander would pull the “woman can’t be friends with a man without falling in love with him” card. Her head was spiralling with thoughts about her choices. 

Was it a good idea to reunite with Nico?

Is it good to risk a relationship with Sander for friendship with Nico?

Thankfully for her, the schedule became busier. Lisa had playoffs in the Norwegian League and in the Champions League. She put all her focus on trainings and recovery. She was watching and analysing other teams' games. Becoming an European champion was a dream but the job wasn’t done here. There were so many more things she wanted to achieve starting with the Champions League.

The end of May was a good month for Lisa. Vipers Kristiansand defended the title and for the second time, she was crowned as Norwegian champion. Now, it was the hardest part - Final4. Best four teams were in contention for the Champions League title. She was part of this back in season 18/19 but now, two seasons later it was a way different feeling. 

She and her teammates felt that they might bring the gold to Kristiansand. That they can make history by winning the first title for the club. In the semi final, they beat the Russian club 33:30. She was so close to reaching her dreams… And she did it. In the final, Vipers beat the French club 34:28 and Lisa scored 12 goals. 

In the span of 5 months, Lisa won Euro and now Champions League. She couldn’t believe it. This was an unbelievable experience for her. She was just a 21 years old girl who’s winning when last year, she was considering retirement. After the final whistle, they were giving the awards. Lisa was already excited that she won the Champions League but now, she also had been named Best Young Player and Final4 MVP. She was crying from happiness.

lisa.pedersen

liked by nicohischier and 5317 others

lisa.pedersen What just happened??? Bringing the gold to Kristiansand is a pleasure and I couldn’t be more happier for this whole team. Grateful to be part of the history❤️

charlotteolsen the way i SCREAMED when i saw the result, forever proud of you girl!!!!!

nicohischier Great job Lisa! You and your whole team played hell of a game out there, huge congratulations! Now you can call yourself double European champion❤️

1 June 2021

Sander saw Nico’ comment and was furious. He thought that her friendship with Nico was over but apparently it wasn’t. Instead of being happy for her win and celebrating with her, he started an argument.

“Why did Nico comment on your post?” He simply asked.

“I don’t know” Lisa lied.

“Tell me the fucking truth” He grabbed her arm.

“Okay, we’re talking. Happy?” 

“No! Why are you acting like a slut? Am I not good enough for you?”

“What?” 

“Don’t act dumb. You definitely want to fuck him behind my back” Sander stated.

“I don’t. We just explained the situation why he wasn’t talking with me during the summer and that’s it. We’re in a neutral relationship. You really think this low about me to think that I would cheat on you?” Lisa asked with tears in her eyes.

“Yes. That’s what I think about you” He stopped for a minute before he continued. “Choose, me or him?”

“You can’t be serious”

“Oh I am. Do you want me or him?” 

This is what Lisa wanted to avoid this whole time but now, she can’t run away. 

---

next chapter

[ausetkmt]

How Black women shaped Tim Walz’s politics after the death of George Floyd

From inside Minnesota’s executive mansion, Gov. Tim Walz could hear the grieving woman’s bellows..

Toshira Garraway’s voice quavered as she spoke to the hundreds gathered outside the residence in St. Paul. It was a sunny Monday in June 2020, just days after George Floyd had been murdered in Minneapolis.

Protesters across the world had been shouting Floyd’s name, but Garraway and other speakers — almost all Black women — were invoking the names of men who hadn’t garnered as much attention after they died in encounters with Minnesota law enforcement. Hardel. Kobe. Justin.

The lifeless body of Justin Teigen, Garraway’s boyfriend, had been found in a recycling bin in 2009. Police had said they were chasing Teigen and lost track of him when he hid in a dumpster, where he remained when the trash was compacted. Garraway was convinced police had killed him.

“They didn’t throw him in the river! They didn’t throw him in the woods!” Garraway shouted. “They threw him in the trash! That’s what they think of our people.”

“I could hear her pain,” Walz recalled in a 2021 interview with a Washington Post reporter. Walz, who is now the Democratic nominee for vice president, stepped outside the residence for a closer listen.

When Garraway heard that Walz had joined the crowd, she stepped away from the microphone to meet him. She asked for his cellphone number.

“I had been calling and writing the governor and attorney general for years,” she recalled telling him. “I want you to meet with our families.”

He promised he would.

At the most critical juncture in Walz’s tenure as governor, with the world pointing to his state as an example of gross injustice, he found insights and counsel from Garraway and a group of Black women who pleaded with him to do more to address systemic racism.

This story is based on years of interviews with Walz and those women, starting 11 months after Floyd’s death as part of research for a book on Floyd’s life and legacy.

Walz’s last interview was in May, two months before he was selected as the running mate of Vice President Kamala Harris, the first woman of color to be the Democratic nominee for president. During the discussions, Walz offered the most expansive, personal accounts he has ever provided about how Floyd’s murder changed his worldview — and about the women who helped shape it.

The women cried with him, prodded him, prayed with him. They admired his ability to listen without interrupting them, and appreciated the get-well cards he sent when they were sick. When it comes to supporting a Black woman who is already facing racist attacks in her bid for the presidency, they think Walz is ready.

But even more than his empathy, the women relished the opportunity to help Walz craft legislation that specifically addressed their concerns. That’s when the relationship became more difficult.

“He makes political calculations in terms of where he’s going to put his energy and spend down political capital, which any responsible person or elected official will do,” said Nekima Levy Armstrong, a former head of the Minneapolis chapter of the NAACP. “But because of his nature, you always have in the back of your mind that he will go the extra mile. … That’s when you get disappointed.”

Beyond Walz’s reputation as a folksy liberal, likely to be on display when he speaks Wednesday at the Democratic National Convention, the women saw a politician trying to navigate uncertain terrain. The national zest for police reform would eventually slow, and Walz’s national profile would begin to soar. And now, some in the group say he has lost interest in them.

Walz declined to comment for this article, but a spokeswoman wrote that Walz “deeply values the friendships, what he’s been able to learn from them, and the reforms they worked together to pass. He continues to meet with them and looks forward to their continued work together to improve Minnesota.”

Garraway has not heard from Walz in more than a year. When friends started texting about his becoming Harris’s running mate, she didn’t fully know what to say.

“I don’t want to bash the man, but all I can do is speak from my heart, and I’m conflicted,” Garraway said. “I cannot say that empathy was not there. But, as time went on and this was no longer the headlining topic, we became less and less important. Our families are pushed to the side and, basically, ignored. It is painful and hurtful.”

Philando Castile's mother, Valerie, holds flowers during a demonstration outside the governor's home in St. Paul on July 7, 2016.

Before Floyd’s death, Walz had been warned about the insidious threat of racism in Minnesota.

The prediction came from Valerie Castile, whose son Philando had been shot and killed at a traffic stop in a suburb of St. Paul in 2016. “Mark my word, if it keeps on going in this direction, something really bad is going to happen,” Castile recalled telling him.

“That was back in 2017,” she said.

At the time, Walz was serving in Congress and preparing a bid for governor. She told him she had dedicated her life to finding a way to bring honor to her son’s name. She spoke about Philando’s generous spirit — the school cafeteria worker would dig into his own pocket to help a student who couldn’t afford lunch.

And then, Castile quizzed Walz on why he thought Black people disproportionately die at the hands of police.

“I’m going to be brutally honest with you,” Castile recalled telling him. “We know it’s a racist factor that’s the underlying problem within law enforcement.”

The two formed a tight bond, calling themselves “friends.” Walz said her honesty showed him how “the basic joys of life are always clouded by” racism, and illuminated “the day-to-day, year-after-year systemic issues and microaggressions that people endure.”

“It just permeates everything,” he told The Post.

Walz, who grew up in Nebraska and moved to rural Minnesota as an adult, said he knew he had a blind spot when it came to the Black experience, “being a middle-aged White guy [from] a town of 300 … with no people of color.” In Minnesota, where only 7 percent of the population is Black, politicians often note how easy it can be to miss the struggles of the African American community. So many of the state’s bragging points — its high incomes, its healthy residents, its high-performing students — disguise some of the country’s widest disparities in wealth, life expectancy and education between Blacks and Whites.

After Walz became governor in 2019, Black lawmakers and activists said, he and his wife engaged with Black communities immediately. Walz said that they were eager to learn — and that they were surprised by what they discovered.

During one event, a Black woman told him she had moved to Duluth from Arkansas. Compared with racism in the Deep South, she said, she found Minnesota’s to be “quieter — but meaner.”

On another occasion, Levy Armstrong, the former NAACP official, told him that state lawmakers had a history of “admiring the problem” — acknowledging that disparities existed but not working hard enough to eradicate them.

Then a police officer knelt on Floyd’s neck in May 2020.

As video of the brutal incident spread, Walz reached out to Castile.

“What do you think they’re going to do?” she recalled Walz asking her.

“You better get ready,” Castile said. “They’re about to tear this motherf---er up.”

Castile was right. Although most of the protests were peaceful, large businesses were looted, windows were smashed and a police station was set aflame.

Not long afterward, the Floyd family asked Walz to remove the county attorney from the investigation of the killing. Walz agreed to assign Keith Ellison, the state’s attorney general, who had a history of working against police brutality. Walz told The Post that he was thinking of Castile when he made the decision.

“She was adamant, and groups of folks who had talked to me even before George Floyd [died] believed that we needed to have an independent prosecutor’s office,” Walz said. “That there’s just too close a connection between the police and the county attorneys.”

Walz, center, joins protesters in front of the Minnesota Governor's Residence on June 1, 2020, after the murder of George Floyd.

A few weeks after Walz spoke with the Floyds, he met with Garraway and the other women on a Zoom call.

Garraway spoke again about her boyfriend, referring to his death as the “2009 version of Emmett Till.”

The police account of the events had always seemed fantastical to her. But in 2009, there were no body cameras or Black Lives Matter movement — and few people took her seriously. After three years, only one lawyer said he would be interested in taking the case. By then, it was too late — the state had a three-year statute of limitations for investigating officers.

Amity Dimock told Walz the story of her autistic son, Kobe Dimock-Heisler, who was killed in 2019 by police during a wellness check. Police said Kobe had lunged at them with a knife, but Amity said she believed the officers reacted so quickly because they were ill-equipped to deal with mental illness.

Del Shea Perry spoke of her son Hardel Sherrell, who died in a jail cell in 2018. Officers ignored Sherrell when he said he wasn’t feeling well. Security camera footage over eight days captured him falling hard off a bed, going limp and dying in a pool of his own waste, never receiving medical attention.

As the women recounted their pain, Walz’s eyes welled with tears. He told The Post that he, like many in the state, needed to do more soul-searching on why it was so easy to look past the trauma of racism that Castile assured him existed.

“This is a great state if you’re White, not so much if you’re not,” Walz later recalled thinking. “And that pains me, but it has to be said. And it’s the truth.”

Amity Dimock, right, is comforted by another woman during a demonstration outside the Governor's Residence on June 6, 2020.

After the conversations with the women, Walz said he went back to his staff and asked, “What can we do? What can we change?”

They encouraged the women to work with racial justice organizations to craft legislation, and by 2021, more than a dozen police reform bills had been introduced. Some followed national trends. They asked for the state legislature to limit the use of chokeholds and no-knock warrants. They asked that the state allow police officers to be sued directly for actions taken in the line of duty, ending a practice known as “qualified immunity” that shielded them.

Other bills were directly inspired by the women’s stories. One would have ended the statute of limitations for wrongful-death suits related to police killings — potentially giving Garraway the chance to find out what had happened to Justin. Another would have referred 911 calls to mental health crisis teams when appropriate — which Dimock thought could have saved Kobe’s life. A third would have mandated wellness checks in jails — which could have led to an intervention for Hardel.

The women set out for the State Capitol to lobby lawmakers, but struggled to gain traction. About a year after Floyd’s death, conservatives were nervous that such measures might deplete the morale of police departments, which were losing officers.

“After Minneapolis started burning, the Republicans immediately went to blaming Governor Walz and Mayor [Jacob] Frey, and [saying] the Democrats will let the city burn down,” said Jeffrey Hayden, who was a Democratic state senator. Hayden said Republicans appeared hesitant to act, arguing that Floyd’s death had been “an isolated incident.”

The women said they found it difficult to find advocates even among rural Democrats, who they said would stare at them with blank faces. They asked the governor to leverage his authority, and he tried at first. He threatened to keep the legislative session open until lawmakers passed police reform, and he negotiated with Republicans, who were in control of the state’s House.

Del Shea Perry cries as she marches with demonstrators near the Governor's Residence on June 6, 2020. Beside her is a photo of son Hardel Sherrell.

The legislature agreed to pass a bill in honor of Sharell, to make changes to police training and to limit the use of chokeholds. Walz used executive action to add $15 million for violence-prevention programs, and then required that police provide body-camera footage to families within five days of incidents involving a death. But the legislature rejected the toughest measures, such as strengthening civilian oversight of police departments and ending qualified immunity.

And the measure to lift the statute of limitations also failed, meaning there would be no chance to get to the truth of what happened to Garraway’s boyfriend.

On the last day of the session, Garraway and the other women held a news conference. She pleaded with her new friend, the governor, to try to do more.

“You listen to our stories. You watch us break down. You watch us cry,” she said. “How can you make a deal to say this is okay?”

A few months after the legislation failed, Walz put his disappointment plainly: “I feel like I failed Toshira.”

Walz told The Post back then that he had learned that White men like him wanted to probe the details while Black women like Garraway sought swift action because the lives of their families were at stake.

“This is a complex issue. It’s nuanced,” Walz said. “But in the midst of this are people who say, ‘I don’t have time for nuance.’”

He wondered if the country needed a truth and reconciliation commission — like the one in post-apartheid South Africa — that would allow people to truly listen to the stories of pain and exploitation he had heard.

After the 2021 legislative session, Walz said he felt the chance to have an honest conversation about racism in America — and then work to fix it — had probably passed him by. He worried that, between the pandemic, the protests and the unraveling of the great American reckoning on race, the country was not “healing.”

“I don’t know if we’ll get another shot at it,” Walz said. “I’m worried about this. … I’m worried [about what] I’m seeing at the national level. I’m seeing our democracy under threat, and I’m seeing the community here that’s losing faith.”

Back then, he also recognized how not addressing the problem would mar his political legacy.

“One way or another, I will be associated with this,” Walz said.

Valerie Castile speaks at a Minneapolis rally on June 16, 2023, after the release of a U.S. Justice Department investigation into the Minneapolis Police Department.

Valerie Castile had not lost faith.

After a jury in 2017 acquitted the police officer who killed Philando, she spent years seeking another route to honor her son’s legacy.

She started a foundation to clear the balances of grade-school students who couldn’t afford to pay for school meals, then began pushing the state legislature to make breakfast and lunch free for all students. In 2023, with a Democratic majority in all three chambers, the bill passed.

It became one of Walz’s signature pieces of legislation, and the photo of children hugging him after he signed the bill has become an indelible political image. Watching proudly in the back that day was Castile.

“Oh my God, we finally did it,” Castile remembered thinking. “Congratulations, Phil.”

After the police reform bills were rejected, Walz tried other routes to deal with racial disparities, at the behest of Democrats eager to avoid bills that could be deemed as anti-police.

Walz worked with lawmakers in 2023 to invest more than $70 million in workforce training for manufacturing and tech jobs. After the NAACP filed a lawsuit alleging that the child-welfare system disproportionately separated Black families, they approved proactive steps to keep families together. They passed laws barring discrimination based on hairstyles and establishing an office to investigate suspicious deaths of Black women that have become cold cases.

In May 2024, Walz told The Post that these policies have helped to close some of the state’s racial gaps. For example, the median household income for Black Minnesotans has jumped 70 percent since 2011, the seventh-fastest growth rate in the country, according to the state’s Department of Employment and Economic Development.

“We’ve stopped admiring the problem,” Walz said in the interview. “We’ve learned not to do the Minnesota thing, which is to look at disparities, say ‘Oh that’s too bad,’ then go and eat pie.”

He also said he was wrong to wonder if the country might have missed its chance to eradicate racism.

“That was a part of my trauma speaking,” Walz said.

The women he met in 2020, though, still wonder if they will ever experience any relief from their trauma, a smidgen of which Castile felt when Walz signed the school meals bill. They accuse Walz of giving up on police reform too quickly. Perry, whose son died in the jail cell, continued trying to persuade Walz that they needed to do more work. In 2018, when Hardel Sherrell died, there were nine other deaths at county jails, state data shows. Last year, there were 20 deaths.

Her phone calls, though, were being returned much more infrequently. Perry’s advocacy didn’t even get a hearing during the last legislative session. When she met Walz earlier this year, he asked if she had been in touch with the Rev. Al Sharpton. Maybe some national attention would help, he suggested.

“Maybe he should call him,” Perry told The Post. “He knows him. I don’t. I’m a grieving mother.”

Still racked with pain, Garraway said there are bigger matters on her mind than Walz’s potential vice presidency.

When county prosecutors decided in June to drop their case against a state trooper who killed a Black man named Ricky Cobb II during a traffic stop, she called Walz to see if she could get answers from a man she thought she understood. Walz had supported dropping the charges, saying it would be impossible to prove that the officer used excessive force.

But after introducing Walz to so many grieving families, Garraway was desperate to know why he could side with the police in this case. She trusted his judgment. So after his big speech accepting the nomination and all the balloons and the pageantry of the Democratic convention, she hopes he’ll answer her calls again. She longs to hear his voice.

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Pause For Coffee

Book: The Royal Romance / The Royal Heir [x Desire & Decorum (Modern day AU)] Characters: Liam Rys, MC (Jade), Jackson Walker, Eleanor Rys, Leo Rys, OC (Andrea Edwards), OC (Gianna Rossi) [Mentioned: Constantine Rys, Drake Walker, Prince Hamid, Daphne Wang (D&D MC|OC)] Rating: T Word count: 2459 Reading time: 10min Summary: Cordonian apple tea is the official drink of the kingdom, but the Cordonian king prefers another hot drink whenever he needs an energy boost. Based on the prompts: @kingliamappreciationweek Day four: coffee

Author's notes:

Jade Bourbon-Rys, Andrea Edwards, Gianna Rossi and Daphne Wang are creations of this author. The other characters belong to Pixelberry Studios;

Thank you again to @lizzybeth1986 and @sazanes for hosting another KLAW! I got so inspired by the event this year that I wrote more than I planned. Thank you for still acepting late submissions 😍

Cordonian capitol, June 2021

Blue, pink and purple hues painted the sky as Liam rested on the chaise lounge of his office before the last meeting of the day. Though this week has been calmer than usual, he still needed a couple of minutes before the video conference with Cordonian ambassador in the US. Returning to work after Elise's birth hasn't been easy. Fortunately, there's one thing that never failed to help him restore his energy.

"Your Majesty?" His assistant called after a soft knock on the door.

"Come in."

Carrying a tray with a cup of coffee and sparkling water, his assistant walked in and placed the tray on the side table. "Your coffee, sir."

"Thank you, Andrea."

As his assistant left, Liam smiled as the comforting smell of brewed coffee filled his lungs, bringing back memories of the day he tasted it for the first time.

Cordonian capital, February 2000

The doors to the Royal conference room opened as the young prince walked out of the room. With his eyes downcast, Liam ambled through the hallway, embarrassed with what just happened during the King's meeting with the Royal advisors. Being lectured again in front of all those people was no fun at all. Especially when his father was the one who noticed the moment he dozed off.

Why was it so hard to stay awake during meetings? Sure, a Royal meeting wasn't the most entertaining activity for him. He'd rather play with his friends or have a Babylon 5 marathon night with Drake and Maxwell. But it couldn't be so hard to stay awake through those meetings, right? If Leo (who never slept before 12 am) still could do it, why couldn't he?

On the way to his room, he nodded to the guards when a familiar smell spread across the hallway: caramel and toasted nuts. It wasn't the first time he sensed it, but was the first time it got his attention. Whenever he passed by the staff kitchen, that fragrance always was in the air. He just didn't know exactly what it was. Following his instincts, he went to the staff area, where the smell was coming from.

"Your Highness," Drake's father, Jackson, nodded to him and took a sip of something in a mug.

"Good morning, Mr. Walker." The boy simpered as he sat next to his father's personal bodyguard.

"Everything alright, sir?"

"No..." Liam frowned. "I fell asleep at the meeting again."

"Did anyone see you?"

"Father did."

The man grimaced. 

"Yeah..." The boy looked down again, fiddling with the hem of his sweater.

"For what it's worth, I think you're too young to be there."

"Oh?" Liam looked at the guard in confusion.

"I understand this will be a part of your life and eventually you'll have to be there to partake in all those meetings. But those are boring meetings even for a smart kid like yourself."

"Do you think they're boring too?"

Jackson looked around suspiciously, to make sure no one else was hearing and then he uttered, "A little bit."

Liam giggled.

"Have you slept through the meeting too? Is that why you weren't there?"

The man shook his head. "No. Never. I always have to be alert on duty. I just made a pause for coffee." 

Lifting his still steaming mug of coffee to his lips, Jackson took a gulp, closed his eyes to savor the hot drink and then smiled softly.

"Look, I know you don't want to be in there, especially to be lectured about things you don't understand yet. But if the King wants you there, make an effort to be there. Your father will appreciate it."

"But how do I stay awake when I'm there? Even Leo can..." Liam frowned.

"Start by obeying the Queen when she says it's time for you to go to bed. A good night of sleep can change everything. And don't do what Leo does. You're too young for that."

"Okay..." Liam's brows furrowed in confusion. His brother did something to stay awake. But what was it?

...

"Nope," Leo said as he threw a dart near the center of the dartboard on the wall.

"But, Leo!" Liam whined.

"You heard Jackson. You're a kid. You can't have what I have," Leo replied with a smug grin.

The young prince scowled. Though he knew his brother was old enough to have some privileges like learning how to drive or traveling on his own, this was just a stupid drink. He wouldn't go down with a fight.

Liam was about to say something when a maid knocked and opened the door to leave a travel mug on the side table. Both princes then rushed to pick it up, Liam climbing on his brother's back in hopes to steal the mug Leo had already got.

...

The following day

Liam hid in a broom closet as he waited for Drake's signal. He knew the chef was about to have a break for lunch and always left the carafe full for the guards. The entire palace security drank that thing, so why couldn't he?

Just then, he heard three short whistles. That was their signal. Time to get in.

The young prince then tiptoed into the kitchen and the powerful smell of caramel and nuts overtook him. Walking towards the coffee maker, Liam reached for a small cup when a hand tapped his shoulder. As he turned around, Queen Eleanor pursed her lips at him while his friend was nowhere to be seen.

"What do you think you're doing, young man?"

"Nothing... I was thirsty so—"

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"But mom! I truly am thirsty!" Liam protested. 

"The water filter is right there, Liam." Eleanor then pointed to the opposite side of the kitchen.

The young prince looked down at his hands.

"Why are you trying to drink something I already told you it's unhealthy for you?"

"Because I have to stay awake in the meetings..." The boy frowned.

The queen cupped her son's cheek and smiled fondly.  The king could be too harsh on his sons sometimes.

"All you have to do is rest, eat your vegetables. You don't need to have coffee."

"Why can Leo have it and I can't?"

"My dear, Leo doesn't drink this type of coffee."

"Doesn't he?" Liam's brows furrowed.

"He already reached an age in which he can experience a couple of things adults can, but it doesn't include a cup of espresso in the middle of the afternoon."

"What does he drink then?"

"A mochaccino."

"Can I have that too?"

"As long as you or Drake don't try to steal coffee from the kitchen without an adult's permission, yes."

"Thank you, mom!" Liam hugged his mother tightly. 

"I'm going to prepare us a special mochaccino. Why don't you go ask Bianca if Drake and Savannah can join us?"

The young prince nodded in excitement and rushed to the Walkers house while the Queen made her way to the Royal kitchen.

Cordonian capitol, June 2021

The king smiled to himself. Back then, he had no idea the mochaccino he had once in a while with his mother and friends was actually a babyccino. He understood her reasons now and was glad to be part of the experience of having coffee with his mother sometimes. Even if it was decaffeinated coffee.

As he lifted the cup to his lips, his brows furrowed. Liam put the coffee on the table and pressed the buzzer to call his assistant.

His assistant immediately opened the door again. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"Did the kitchen staff prepare me a lungo? This isn't a espresso."

"No, Sir. They made you a Turkish coffee."

"Turkish coffee?"

"Yes, sir. It's made with the Arabica coffee beans Mr. Osmanoğlu and Lady Foredale gave to you during the Royal Heir baby shower."

Liam pressed his lips together, still remembering the sassy note his cousin and his teenhood friend left on the coffee packaging. 

"Switch the espresso for a nice and steamy cup of Türk kahve and you won't have the drawback espresso gives by the fourth cup of night while the baby still hasn't fallen into slumber. You're welcome! ;)"

"The handwriting was Daphne's, but the content certainly was Hamid's doing. That prick..." Liam thought to himself, shaking his head. "Andrea, I especifically asked for an espresso."

"Yes, you did, Sir. But since it would be your fourth doppio espresso today, the queen was adamant about changing the Italian roast for the Arabica coffee."

"The fourth?"

"Yes, sir."

Liam was about to say something when a yawn escaped his lips.

"If I may be so bold, sir, I still have the list of nurses pre-approved by the Queen Mother and your security staff," Andrea prompted.

His brows rose in surprise. Andrea has being working with him since he became the crown prince and always followed his orders without question. The very few rare moments she started a phrase with 'if I may be so bold...' meant that he was doing something he probably would regret later.

"I need to talk to Jade first, but send the list to me."

"As you wish, sir." 

Liam gently rubbed his eyes in hopes to fight against sleep, then reached for the coffee. He couldn't recall the last time he felt this tired, given how little he had slept in the past three months. At least, Jade wasn't trying to forbid him of having his coffee.

Capri, January 2018

A gentle breeze blew against the curtains while Liam read a few documents still pending his signature. The king didn't wish to start his reign by letting the paperwork pile up in his office back in Cordonia during the engagement tour, so he might as well get started before his schedule got busied by dinners, meetings and conferences he had to attend while being abroad. To handle the paperwork, nothing would be better to start his day than a nice cup of coffee and a pastry.

As he waited for his coffee, voices coming from the hallway reached his ears. His lips twisted in displeasure, but hopefully his security detail would handle the situation.

A few minutes later, the hotel room maid walked in and placed a cup of tea and the tartlet on the coffee table.

"Excuse me, I didn't order tea."

"I know, sir." The maid looked down at her hands. "But a blond lady stopped me and told me to throw the coffee away because you only have apple tea."

"A blond lady?"

"The guards said it was your fiancee."

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. It had been only two months since he forced himself go through with the arrangement with Madeleine, but he had lost count of how many times she has meddled into his daily routine.

"I'm so sorry, sir. I know this isn't your business, but my boss has been on my back because I missed work last week to take my son to the emergency room. If he finds out about this, I think I'll be fired."

Liam's heart sank at the pleading look on the woman's eyes. He couldn't be the cause of anyone losing their job because Madeleine interfered in his life again.

He glanced at the name on the maid uniform and smiled. "It's alright, Mrs. Rossi. Did you say this is apple tea?"

"Yes, it was made with Cordonian apples, just like your fiancee requested."

Liam looked down at the tea and tried not to grimace. If it didn't have sugar, it would be so hard to swallow.

"There's honey on the serving tray cart if you want."

"Thank you. I definitely want some."

The maid nodded and left the suite to get the honey. Once she returned and added honey to his tea, Liam took a sip.

"That's better. Thank you."

"I'm glad, sir. And I promise I'll bring you a doppio espresso the next time you order coffee."

"Well, in this case, bring me a doppio espresso in five minutes."

The maid grinned. "Yes, sir."

"And if your boss gives you a hard time again, talk to one of my guards. They'll call the human resources from my staff and find you a new job in case you need one."

The maid beamed. "Thank you, sir. I'll be right back with your coffee."

Cordonian capitol, June 2021

Once the meeting with the Cordonian ambassador in US was over, Liam left his office and went straight to the Royal Apartment. Despite the tiredness, he could hardly wait to see his wife and daughter.

As he passed by the hallway, his wife's velvety voice reverberated on the walls as she sang a lullaby. Smiling to himself, Liam ambled towards the nursery and sang along with Jade in hopes to lull Elise to sleep.

"Are you some kind of baby whisperer?" Jade murmured as she slowly closed the door to the nursery. "I've been trying to make her sleep for at least half an hour, but the minute you swoop in, she falls asleep."

"She was half asleep when I walked in. You did most of the work yourself, my love."

Liam smiled, placing the baby monitor on the coffee table as his wife leaned in for a kiss.

"Did you just have coffee?"

"No, I had a cup over an hour ago."

"Really? Your lips taste amazing."

"I thought you had overcame caffeine abstinence."

"Ugh, don't remind me..." Jade grimaced, resting her head on his shoulder.

"The decaf isn't working, huh?"

"The maid you hired makes a mean cup of coffee, but the lack of caffeine is so tough. If Elise wasn't sensible to caffeine, I swear I'd fill our tub with coffee right now."

"I'm sorry, love. If you're sure about not switching to formula..." 

"I'm not going to stop nursing Elise just because I miss coffee. I can handle it." The queen affirmed resolute.

"If you say so..." Liam gazed at his wife in worry. Her fulltime dedication to Elise was admirable, yet he couldn't help but think how exhausting it must have been for her. "But perhaps we should reconsider taking care of Elise by ourselves. It'll be less tiresome for both of us now that I returned to work, don't you think?"

The queen made a face, but caved. "Alright... We're going to have to hire someone eventually. Do you still have the list of nurses Regina made?"

"Andrea sent a copy to my email."

"We'll take a look at it after dinner and see how it goes."

The couple was watching the baby monitor when their new maid walked in.

"Good evening, Your Majesties." The maid bowed to the king and queen. "Dinner is served."

"Oh, I'm starving! Your timing is impeccable, Gianna," Jade praised.

"I couldn't agree more. Thank you, Gianna."

The maid nodded in gratitude and left to the dining room.

"I'm so glad my husband stole you from the hotel you worked in Capri. The food smells amazing," Jade commented as they walked towards the dining room.

"Wait until you try her apple tea," Liam said with a smile.

[burningdarkfire]

blood moon (author's notes)

Putting this post on my resume as proof that I am committed to seeing things through to the fucking end. It might be 2024 now but here is a finished author's note for blood moon!!

It's been long enough that the below is more of a retrospective than what we usually think of as an author's note. Some of it dates back to two or three years ago, a lot of it doesn't. With the goal of finishing these notes, I recently reread the fic in its entirety, twice, and I still very much enjoyed it. That's all I can really ever ask of a fic, so I'm happy 💕

Writing Timeline

Blood Moon was a fascinating writing problem. I always knew it was going to be a long fic, longer than I usually wrote, and I also knew that I was bad at finishing long fics. I started writing in November 2021 with the promise to myself that even if I didn't finish it, I would eventually share whatever I had. I initially planned to upload chapters without editing because I suspected that it would bog me down in a lot of small details … and I was entirely correct! So here is the 18 month journey of the fic, in monthly word counts, from start to finish:

November 2021: 18723 

December 2021: (no work)

January 2022: 3591

February 2022: 2872 (finished the shadowgast oneshot, outlined the rest of the fic)

March 2022: 4353 (this is when i first thought "the ending was in sight" LOL)

April 2022: 3667 (i made the decision to edit/rewrite some chapters—at this point i had already written up to fjord meeting back up with the m9 after getting the third eye)

May 2022: 1163 

June 2022: 2028 (this was my initial estimate/deadline for finishing)

July 2022: (no work)

August 2022: (no work)

September 2022: 3371 (i copied over my existing work—up to fjord and astrid's conversation—and started a major edit/second draft)

October 2022: 1228 

November 2022: 2278 (posted the first chapter to ao3)

December 2022: 2144 

January 2023: 1876 (finished my second draft and sent to beta for edits)

February 2023: 126 (finished edits! left some very minor points to polish)

March 2023: 17

April 2023: (finished posting!)

Blood Moon Universe

Blood Moon is an original universe of mine that dates back to 2011. It has all the cliché vampires vs. werewolves vibes that I will shamelessly admit I have never grown out of. We didn't get to see a lot of it in the fic, but it's a very fertile, flexible environment—this is the fourth story I've set in this world, and even though they've all been vastly different from each other, the shell concepts have always served me well. Unsurprisingly, one makes original worlds that are conducive to the themes and motifs that one likes to write about.

Caleb and Fjord live in a dark age, where the last war between the vampires and werewolves decimated both populations so severely that the world is simply emptier than it used to be. Molly and Yasha raid abandoned manors, Caleb lives on ceded vamp territory where the wolves are also absent. Caduceus is alone in the Clay family home except for his temporary companions. Everyone is busy with their own survival, and there's no way for the scarce, scattered populations of the northern forests to repel the Shades on their own.

It was a big decision to write a story about two humans in this world, but Fjord and Caleb have always been underdog stories struggling with established powers. It's hard to imagine them any other way.

Canon-Related Concepts

One of my favourite arcs of Campaign 2 is the pirates arc, because the characters are asking themselves such deliciously heavy questions about their place in the world following Molly's death. I wanted to explore those facets of these characters. 

I've also always found it so interesting that Travis said Fjord would have left to find the third orb if the Wildmother hadn't come through for him. 

Caleb seeks an impossible magic for selfish aims, but he does it because he loves his parents. Fjord would make a deal with the devil for power, but he does it because he equates power with agency, and he wants the ability to protect himself and others. Caleb had a taste of that power, but it soured when he used it for the wrong reasons. Fjord is tasting it now, and can't imagine ever letting it go.

Related Works

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley 

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

The Magicians by Lev Grossman

The initial pitch of Blood Moon explicitly referred to Caleb as a "Frankensteinien" character. Pervasive in that book is the desire for a domestic life, in which love, happiness, and security are enclosed. Frankenstein loses his mother, and then loses everything else as a consequence of the actions of his grief and uncertainty. What if Caleb's desire to undo what he did to his parents outweighed everything else?

Blood Moon borrows heavily from the magic in The Raven Tower, where one can literally speak something into existence. The idea of a world where "if you say something, it must become true, or you die trying" is extremely evocative and has stayed with me. It was a beautiful way to explore how grief can change the world.

If I can be honest here for a moment, I actually no longer remember why I have The Magicians listed as an inspiration for the fic. I started Blood Moon 3+ years ago and read The Magicians shortly afterwards, and I've since forgotten everything about that book except for what it made me feel: a despair that was hard to look in the eye.

Themes

These are phrased like high school essay questions because I couldn't think of a better way to present them. These are some of the questions that I asked myself while writing:

"With great power comes great responsibility …" Perhaps the defining question of the entire story. How is the question of duty explored in the fic? What do different characters feel responsible for and how do those responsibilities compete? How would each character answer the question "What do we owe to one another?"

Magic is intention. In this world, anybody can do magic. How is the magical presented in relation to the mundane? How much agency do the characters have? What kinds of choices do different characters make? How much does magic change their perception of the world? 

The knowing is part of the price. Caleb and Fjord are both characters who don't know who they are or don't fully understand what made them. Initially, Fjord is resistant to the idea of learning more about his teacher at all. Vulnerability, he understands, is something that can only be given when you have power. What role do alter egos and second identities and our strange other selves play in this fic?

Life and death are the greatest changes of all. Caleb is determined to bring back his parents at any cost. Fjord is determined to live at any cost. Both of our lead characters have other forces calling for their dues. How are death and grief explored in this fic? How about ideas of rebirth and change? 

I am nothing like I was. I cannot teach you; I cannot protect you. The story of Blood Moon is the story of what happens when Fjord goes looking for a teacher. In fact, many of the primary relationships in this fic are a mentorship or potential mentorship between a teacher and a student. What role does learning and teaching play in interpersonal relationships? How do different characters challenge these categories?

Home is where the heart is. The residences of several prominent magicians feature heavily in the fic as their seats of power. What role does "home" play in Caleb and Fjord's lives? How do they imagine, think of, and build their homes? What happens when someone's home is destroyed or otherwise absent? 

Return. What is Fjord's relationship with the sea?

Misc. Notes

The enduring image of the fic that still lives rent free in my head is the burning house. Caleb's childhood house goes up in flames -> Isharnai's house goes up in flames -> the manor goes up in flames, and each time the axis of the world shifts just a little bit.

If you read and enjoyed the fic, please know that you have my eternal thanks. It means a lot to me.

And of course:

[shefanispeculator]

Before Gwen Stefani wrote and performed hit songs like “Make Me Like You,” she learned a lot about music and love from her parents, Patti and Dennis Stefani.

The No Doubt singer’s mom and dad met at their high school in Anaheim, Calif., and they raised her and her three siblings — Eric, Jill and Todd — in the same city.

As fans of bluegrass and folk music, Patti and Dennis took Gwen to concerts when she was young, which helped spark her interest in music. This fostered a bond between them that wasn't deterred even when Gwen reached stardom, and she decided to keep living with her parents until her late 20s.

To this day, The Voice coach shares a close relationship with Patti and Dennis. For Mother’s Day in May 2024, Gwen posted a touching Instagram video montage, featuring photos of Patti posing with various members of their family. In her caption, she wished her “beautiful Mom + all the beautiful Mom’s out there” a happy Mother’s Day.

The following month, she shared a sweet Instagram photo dump with throwback shots of her and Dennis to celebrate him on Father’s Day. “Happy Father’s Day to my incredible Dad 🤍,” Gwen wrote in her caption. “I love u !!”

Here’s everything to know about Gwen Stefani’s parents, Patti and Dennis Stefani.

Patti and Dennis met in high school

During a January 2005 interview with Rolling Stone, Gwen shared the story of how her parents first crossed paths.

“My mom and dad met at Anaheim High School,” she said. “After they got married, all they wanted to do was have four children, and they did.”

They married in 1966

Ahead of exchanging wedding vows with fellow Voice coach and country star Blake Shelton in July 2021, Gwen shared moments from her bridal shower with her family on her Instagram Stories.

"The Sweet Escape" vocalist posted a card with a copy of “The Mass on the Day of Marriage” of her parents, which showed that their wedding date was June 11, 1966.

The card served as her "something old," and it read, “Wishing you all the happiness your heart can hold... today, tomorrow, always. We love you so very much!”

They raised Gwen and her siblings in California

After Patti and Dennis tied the knot, they welcomed four kids: daughters Gwen and Jill, plus sons Eric and Todd.

Gwen had a positive experience growing up in the greater Los Angeles area. While speaking with Clash in April 2016, she recalled that her parents were regular churchgoers and described an overall “happy home.” She elaborated, “We were kind of like the most idealistic family that you could imagine.”

The performer lived with Patti and Dennis in Anaheim until she was 26, around the time "Just a Girl" climbed to the top of the charts.

“My parents were quite strict with me and I was living at home even into my 20s, and I would have to come home and knock on my parents’ door,” she shared in a March 2017 video about the meaning of the 1995 hit.

She admitted, "I just wanted to write a song to express how I was feeling in that moment and I never in my wildest dreams thought that anyone would hear it."

Patti and Dennis shared their love of music with Gwen

During her January 2005 interview with Rolling Stone, Gwen recalled her parents introducing her and her siblings to bluegrass and folk festivals.

Folk and country-rock artist Emmylou Harris was one of the first shows Gwen ever attended. “She had just had a baby and she took a break in the middle of the show to go feed the baby," she recounted. "I couldn't believe it.”

Years later, when Gwen started experimenting with her voice and style, she gave her dad a demo tape of a song she wrote titled "End It on This." The artist told Vogue in April 2008 that Dennis would listen to it while going to work and play it for others. He later came back to her with thoughts that immediately stuck with her.

"I remember two things he said to me. One was 'Everybody's saying that your songwriting is really good and you should just keep going,' " she told the outlet. "And the other was 'Don't ever take lessons, because your voice is really unique. There's just something about it.' ”

Dennis is a marketing executive

According to his LinkedIn profile, Dennis has been the executive vice president at the marketing and consulting company, Added Value North America, since 1989.

The marketing executive’s specialties include “brand and innovation strategy” as well as “new product development systems” and “integrating consumer insights to inspire and guide new product identification.”

Dennis earned an MBA from the College of Business and Economics at California State University, Fullerton, and previously worked at DRI International, TBWA Chiat Day and Yamaha Motor Corporation.

Patti was a dental assistant

When Gwen spoke with Rolling Stone in January 2005, she shared that Patti quit her job as a dental assistant to stay home with her and her siblings.

Gwen’s wedding cake was a recreation of Patti and Dennis’

On Gwen and Blake’s wedding day in July 2021, they celebrated with a cake made by Dallas-based Fancy Cakes by Lauren. The business shared photos of the cake on Instagram, which featured bells, sugar flowers, white chocolate cherubs and white swan pillars.

“Our bride wanted to make a sentimental statement by recreating her parent’s wedding cake,” the caption read about the dessert's inspiration. “Both of Gwen’s parents were there to see her honor them with this cake.”

Five years prior, in June 2016, Gwen and her sons celebrated Dennis and Patti’s 50th wedding anniversary with a party and a three-tier wedding-style cake decorated with white roses and gold leaves. Gwen shared glimpses of the special day on Snapchat, posting a photo of the cake and a photo of her parents sharing a kiss.

[viideku]

“come be lonely with me”

singer deku notices u

you rolled over , reaching out to turn your stupid alarm off not realizing it was the 15th , june 15th , the day of the concert . “ shit ” u bolt up , quickly jumping and falling out of bed . “ oh fuck fuck FUCK WHERE ARE MY SHOES ” you stumble into the closet grabbing a random shirt and jeans , throwing them on while also trying to brush the knots out of your hair . you finish the morning by brushing your teeth and a small protein bar , in the car you fumble with your keys until you realize , “ SHOES ” you speed back into the house and grab the first pair you see .

“ wow and only 15 minutes late , god they better let me in ” you speedwalk past the security guards and into the crowd , eyes adjusting to the dimly lit place you see midoryia , the lead singer . he’s singing , “ this side of paradise ” one of their first songs , the one that hooked you on their band . you paused admiring his face , freckles and all . his eyes scan the crown , the green eyes meeting your brown ones , he smiles , “ if you’re lonely come be lonely with me ” hypnotized , you stare in awe at the fact he even saw you . the rest of the concert was a blur , not even remembering the next song .

izukus pov : letting my eyes fly over the crowd is always something i look forward to , this time it was especially fun , seeing as there was someone wearing a shirt with a large version of my face on it , making me smile a little . i’d definitely have to get a picture with them later .

your pov : after the concert i was worn and decided to stop by the small cafe i saw nearby . i ordered a small coffee and a slice of cake . i sat near the window letting the warm sun hit me . “ hi there ” a sudden voice sounded in my ears , the voice almost familiar , until it hit me . it was midoryia , you snapped your gaze to meet his and looked away , thinking he was talking to someone else . unfortunately that was not the case , he spun your chair so you were facing him , “can i have a bite of that delicious looking cake ? singing like that all day makes my throat dry . ” you freeze for a second before nodding and sliding the plate over to him .

a/n: this is something i wrote in 2021 i just thought it was funny so i decided to post◝(⁰▿⁰)◜i also did not check for any mistakes

[baldisbasicsau]

Dr. Reflex's diary

October 27 2020

This is my first diary entry in this terrible place. It's been years since I've seen my parents. It all happened so suddenly. All I remember from 8 years ago was that I was walking home and I blacked out. My head was pounding when I woke up. I was tied up and terrified. When I looked to my side, I saw someone who was a few years older than me. He introduced himself as Baldi. Well, at least that's what they call him. Nobody remembers their real name as long as they're in this place. Baldi freed me from being tied down. As I sat up, I felt something on my forehead, kind of like... thread. Stitches?!

July 18 2021

I'm currently 20 and it hasn't been good. I found out that my memory had been tampered with and I can barely remember anything that happens at all now. That wasn't the worst thing though. I tried to stand up to the kidnapper, but all I received was a chainsaw to my torso. It had impaled me, but I luckily survived. However, Baldi could only stitch the surface of my skin, not my organs, so I'm internally bleeding now. Ever since then, my stomach had constantly been hurting. I keep vomiting blood, which only makes it hurt even more. I just want it to stop. The pain is unbearable.

February 16 2022

The pain had become more bearable, but I know it's just because I'm used to it. I've lost so much blood and it makes me dizzy. I haven't told anyone except Baldi and Mrs. Pomp. about this. Baldi's been there with me since the beginning, and I get along with Mrs. Pomp really well. She's become my best friend in this place. We're almost inseparable. She's been my main source of comfort in this horrible place. No, don't get any ideas. I only see her as a friend. Nothing more.

October 30 2022

Someone else had been kidnapped and brought to this place. She calls herself Playtime, which... is understandable. She has ENDLESS energy! She could probably go to Japan and back and STILL have energy to play! Ever since she was kidnapped, her eyesight had been slowly declining. I've taken several looks at her eyes and if we don't get out of here soon, she may never be able to see again. It breaks my heart to know that someone as young as her has to suffer so much. She's really sweet. She's always helping me out with organizing the infirmary and fetching things I need. She really doesn't deserve to go through this torture.

June 18 2024

May 9 2023

I know it's been almost a year since I've wrote here, but isn't just people the kidnapper gets ahold of, two puppies had recently been taken as well. They're a brother and sister duo named Skribblez and Squiglez. No, I didn't misspell their names, they're actually spelled like that. Skribblez is more playful than his sister, but he's VERY protective over her. He'll attack anyone that threatens her. Squiglez on the other hand, is really shy. She's scared of almost everything and everyone. Despite their differences, the pups are inseparable. I can't recall a time I've ever seen them apart.

Another new person had come. He calls himself Matcha. I'm not exactly sure what he is. He looks like he's human, but he has some traits of a deer. Possibly a wendigo? I'm not sure, but I shouldn't be too surprised. I mean, Gotta Sweep is a sentient broom. My internal bleeding is getting worse. I feel so weak and tired all the time. It's been years since I've seen anything besides this place. Gotta Sweep started to give up hope. I want to restore his faith, but I'm not sure if I can. We've been trying to take down this kidnapper for years, but still no luck. I'd do anything to go outside, feel the grass beneath my feet, and feel the sun on my face again, but I can't. I've gotten really close to everyone. This means if one of us can get out, we ALL get out, no one left behind. I'm so sick and dizzy all the time. I can't stop vomiting blood. My stomach hurts really bad. If I'm not able to get out of here alive, I hope everyone else does. That's my only wish.

[pinkyjulien]

🌈 Queerness in CyberPunk 2077

I wanted to make this post earlier this month but got caught up in modding shenanigans, as per usual~

BUT! It's still June, still pride, so here it is :>

▶ DISCLAIMER

All of this is my analyses, headcanons, of different characters, some of them not confirmed at all in anyway or form! I'm a queer man myself, but I do not claim to know everything about queerness and being queer, everyone experience the game and interpret the characters differently 🤲 This is only my opinions, based off canon game events, clues, hints, as well as developpers's tweets, streams, files datamining etc etc Please do not see this thread as an attack, or as something invalidating! I'm more than curious to heard what you think about my personal analyses, if you agree, if you don't, and why! If you think other characters also display hints of queerness I'd love to hear it too! 💙

This picture is an update I did in 2022 of lil collage I did back in 2021~

I posted the first version on Reddit back in 2021 and it created this whole "what do mean JOHNNY is GAY?" (because a rainbow behind a man automatically means he's Gay and nothing else right) and a lot of biphobia over his character in particular (gasp- THE rockerboy?! Biseggsual?? In my viddy game??)

▶ You can look at the thread here and have a lil laugh

SO, NATURALLY, after doing the 2022 collage, I went and uploaded it to reddit once again! Because triggering bigots and seeing them stumble over their own tongues trying to debunk everything is really funny ✨

However, I instantly muted the thread and let it rot in its own sauce for some days, weeks, only coming back to it later and Oh Boy 👀

I did a thread on Twitter last year exploring everything that was said on the thread and explaining why I put certain characters on it

Thought it'd be cool and fun to re-explore that and share my thoughts with y'all here SO LETS GET BACK TO IT 😌🤙

▶▶▶

I'll mainly paste screenshots of what I already said on my twitter thread, but I might add some things there and there!

Damn I was kinda pissed off back then HGHFHGF but yeah, this is also the reason I won't ever make any straight or super straight flags I do not headcanon Delamain as Asexual, as there isn't any confirmation anywhere that he's interest in that kind of interaction or not, but I'll come back to him later!

Goro being canonly Queer is often missed, and this surprises me, considering he's one of the popular character! He is interested (or not) equally in both Fem and Masc V, giving he's replying to them the exact same ways! This isn't something done randomly by the devs :)

As said in the tweet, there isn't any direct and clear evidence of Mitch and Scorpion being a couple! Their relationship is heavily queer coded and queer people are more easily picking up on it than non-queer peoeple (and that's normal) Gay men have called their male partner Friend, Best friend and Brother through history maaaany many time, and that's part of my interpretation of their relationship too, especially giving they're both veterans who fought in the same war. The poem Mitch wrotes during "I'll Fly Away" (heavily implied) is romantic and gay coded, the gay novel in Mitch's tent (confirmed to be on purpose) is what we call environnemental story telling, it's subtle but adds to a character's backstory and lore! As for the datamining, I found a Mitch awkwardly explaining to V that no, Saul doesn't have any say in whatever he's doing with Scorpion stuff "because.... because... eh, that's just family stuff"

Note on Delamain here because I've heard it even caused some drama here on Tumblr that I said that? He uses He/Him to describe himself, the Main Entity, but multiples of his splites entities uses She/Her, meaning he's literally Non-Binary in how his entity is formed (I find it really cool for an AI ngl ngl) However if my headcanon offended anyone, I apologize! and I'd love to hear others interpretation :3

There isn't any open and visible MLM gay couple in Cyberpunk 2077! Bouncing off ElvenBeard's amazing analyses and thoughts on Kerry's sexuality, he can be seen as Bisexual (confirmed by RTAL themselves) and Homosexual (confirmed by the devs before and after the game released) he can be Both and Both are correct depending on how you view his character and how he grew from his past relationship (Bisexual with a masc preference, Bisexual who have to heal from his marriage, Gay man who realized his sexuality later after a wonky marriage, etc)

The whole "Responsability=Wife" Takemura take angers me to no end, taking its roots in heteronormativity- We see Goro care for his job above all else, to me that's what his "responsability" is and always was; his job

Nothing more to add here- Jackie's only relationship we see in game is with Misty, this doesn't confirm nor deny anything! (However with how he react to V pushing him, lip-bitting and all regardless of gender, I can totally see him as being queer)

AND That's about it!

It was interesting to dig into that thread last year and thought I'd share that here, as a refresher that Johnny is Bi, Takemura too, and smaller characters like Mitch and Evelynn still have clear hints of queerness to them ✨

I really like how CP77 touches on queerness, it feels realistic, it doesn't feel forced; which, sadly, create this problem of "UH?? This is pure LIES" if a character's sexuality is not splattered in your face, which then create the "Ugh why does it have to be forced down our throat" complains

Something something, lesson here is that people will always complain about queerness, be it loud, be it subtle, so fuck it! Scream it, go apeshit over small details, over-analyse everything cause chances are: this is intentional!

More Characters

I later noticed that Regina have a naked lady tattooed on her forearm, and since we know nothing is done randomly in CDPR's video games, makes me think that she might be sapphic in some way ✨

Mateo is also one of my fav "potential queer", how he could be a trans man, but there isn't anything really to support that other than that one interaction with V

▶ Link to the updated collage Reddit Thread

▶ Link to my Twitter breakdown

[relicsongmel]

Now that I'm done with the main story I'd like to take some time to explain a small part about why Pokemon Scarlet (and Violet) mean so much to me—and why they were the first games in the series to make me cry in several years. (warning for discussions of parental death under the cut)

Generation 9 was the first time I was playing a brand new generation after my mom had passed from cancer a year and a half prior. I wasn't expecting to have this fact be relevant to my experience with the game, but one of the first things that struck me not long after booting it up was the design of the player character's mom. She looked so much like my own mother that I genuinely had to take a step back from shock for a bit. But it was surely just a coincidence, right?

That initial double take moment aside, I continued through the game fairly normally, enjoying it quite a bit despite its fairly obvious graphical limitations and occasional glitching. I loved exploring the wide open world of Paldea; I'm very meticulous about being thorough in games and seeing what every area has to offer, and while I wasn't quite able to get to everything considering the sheer size of the map, I still did my damndest to clear out as much of it as I could. I loved the colorful cast of characters and the stories that accompanied them; Nemona was a bundle of joy (and I quickly claimed her as my lovely autistic daughter because that's what she is), Penny and the Team Star storyline were well thought-out and compelling, and Arven's quest, despite me being spoiled on a few details, was heart-rending and I was invested the whole way through.

Speaking of spoilers: I knew going into the game that Arven's mom/dad was canonically dead depending on which version you were playing. But that didn't stop the emotional impact of the final confrontation with the professor from hitting me the way it did.

As I said, my mother passed away due to complications from breast cancer; she spent an agonizingly long week in the hospital dealing with sepsis (among other things) before her condition took a turn for the worse and she was taken off life support on June 9th, 2021. During that time, I never got the opportunity to talk to her or even visit her—I asked over and over, but she was only allowed a limited number of visitors which were being taken up by other family members. My last in-person conversation with her was while helping her to bed one night, in which she told me she would have my dad take her to urgent care the next morning. At the time, I didn't even consider the possibility that she might not end up coming home. When that fact finally hit me a few days later, I wrote a letter making some promises to her (that I wasn't able to keep because the grief ended up hitting me like a truck) and telling her I loved her, but it was too little too late: my mom was on life support and only semi-conscious; my letter was read to her by my sister when she went to visit and I will never know if she actually heard my words. The day I was finally able to see her was the day she passed, where I held her hand for one final time and was met with.....silence. Obviously. But just because something is to be expected doesn't mean it won't hurt.

Long story short, I was not only dealing with the grief of losing her, but also the pain of not having proper closure; of being able to talk with her knowing for sure it would be the last time. So imagine my reaction when I realized that Arven was going through the exact same thing with his own mother—having been left behind without so much as an explanation, and then said mother dies before she ever has the chance to set things right with him. And his situation is compounded even further by having to contend with seeing the AI professor looking and speaking exactly like her, finally getting the acknowledgement from his mother he's wanted for so long relayed by the AI but finding himself struggling to accept it given how much it's too little too late, and then she leaves him behind too (albeit for more understandable reasons), meaning he essentially loses his mom twice over—all this while pushing through the trauma of revisiting a place that wounded the only companion he had so badly that he thought he might end up losing him, too. My relationship with my mother was not nearly as tumultuous as Arven's—but I could still relate to those feelings of loss and powerlessness and thus found myself shedding tears after the AI professor's final farewell. Because I saw myself in that grieving kid who just wanted closure.

Scarlet and Violet are by no means perfect games. But I would be lying if I said they didn't have a profound impact on me and helped me feel a bit less alone in my grief. And for that they'll always hold a special place in my heart.

[arwatchesandreads]

Falling Into Your Smile (你微笑时很美) 

Finally back to writing reviews. I’ve watched many shows since the last time I wrote a review but I was just too lazy to take notes on the episodes and how I felt. I re-watched this show a whole month ago but didn’t get to write the review because I fell into a slump. I’m back though. This show is super popular because it has Xu Kai as the male lead, and honestly, I enjoyed this show a lot the first time I watched it. However, after rewatching the show I can say I still enjoyed the show, yet, I wouldn’t say it was super crazy good like how I felt watching Amidst a Snowstorm of Love and Love Me, Love My Voice, etc. The characters were fun to watch, the plot was all about e-sports (which I actually really enjoyed), but I felt like it was missing something to make the show better. 

My Rating: 7.5/10

Episodes: 31

Country: China

Genre: Romance with E-Sports

Aired: June 23rd, 2021- July 15th, 2021

Cast:

Xu Kai as Lu Si Cheng

Cheng Xiao as Tong Yao

Zhai Xiao Wen as Jiang Yang

Yao Chi as Lu Yue

Rachel Wang as Chen Jin Yang

Zhou Yi Ran as Ai Jia 

Sun Kai as Xiao Peng

Gao Han as Lao K

Xiao Kai Zhong as Lao Mao

Merxat as Yu Ming

Cui Shao Yang as Xiao Rui

Wang Yi Jun as Lee Kun Hyeok 

Synopsis:

All-male ZGDX e-sports team loses a player due to a hand injury. They need to choose a replacement for the team. 

Tong Yao is a popular female gamer who is known for her skill but also recklessness. She got into gaming through her ex-boyfriend who ended up abandoning her for the OPL world. The manager of ZGDX, Xiao Rui, messages Tong Yao an invite into recruiting her for the team. At first she is not welcomed by the team, especially Lu Si Cheng. However, as they continue to interact and live at the base, she forms a closer bond with the team and an even closer bond with Lu Si Cheng, the captain of ZGDX. 

This drama was adapted from the web novel “You’re Beautiful When You Smile” (你微笑时很美) by Qing Mei (青浼). 

Beware of Spoilers Moving Forward!!!!!!!!!

What Episode did the Main Couple Start Dating?

OMg. They literally take a whole third of the show just to establish the fact they are dating. They are officially together in Episode 21.

I don’t mind slow burns, and in this case it was fine because there is a lot of plot in this show in terms of gaming and the e-sports world. There is also just a lot of hesitation between the two, as her ex-boyfriend, Jiang Yang, was also an e-sports professional gamer and they lost contact because of it, and therefore, she originally didn’t want to have a relationship with anyone in the same field. She also hesitates as the fandom is highkey crazy and a lot of people were convinced they were already dating before, and were already shit-talking Tong Yao for “seducing” Si Cheng. 

Si Cheng asks Tong Yao very casually in episode 20 if she wants to try, and she asks “try what?” and he says, me. LOLOLOLOL I almost died here. In episode 21, she thinks he was joking, and was very indecisive on what to do but she almost confessed in a previous episode so I don’t know what she was hesitating for. She then accepts him later in this episode. 

Misunderstandings?

They have a misunderstanding in Episode 17 after Tong Yao gets into a fight at an event with another lady who was in charge of that event. She pushes the lady and that lady makes a whole video accusing Tong Yao of physically hurting her and it goes viral. Tong Yao gets banned for one game. During this time, Si Cheng isn’t talking to her and Tong Yao is butt- hurt about it. He explains later on in Episode 18. 

There’s also another time in Episode 26 where Si Cheng is acting cold and distant with Tong Yao after the harmful package incident with Tong Yao. He ignores her and acts cold with her for days. In Episode 27, Tong Yao asks Si Cheng if they’re breaking up because he’s been cold, however, he consoles her and tells her he’s just angry at himself that he can’t protect her. 

Love Triangles?

LOOOOOOOOOL This show is essentially a harem. Every captain from almost every team loves Tong Yao akjsndkfjsdfs. It was kinda funny. But jokes aside. There really isn’t a love triangle at all. 

Jiang Yang tries to get Tong Yao back, however, she was very set in stone that she wouldn’t take him back. She explains to Jiang Yang that the reason she doesn’t want to get back with him is because he never treated her as someone who could walk alongside him. 

Another funny character who was obsessed with Tong Yao was Kun from FNC, he was soooo funny. I laughed the whole time his character appeared on screen. He just felt like comedic relief tbh. 

Second Leads Romance

OMGGGG. Ai Jia and Jin Yang were so fun to watch honestly. Zhou Yi Ran. my love. My obsession. My fav c-drama actor. Akjsndfkjsnkdfs. Zhou Yi Ran playing Ai Jia was a delight to watch. The first time I watched him was in When I Fly Towards you and his character is so different in Falling Into Your Smile. Their romance was different, but honestly, very true. Jin Yang had no interest in the world of e-sports but she supported Ai Jia throughout it. She ended up buying his team too LOL. and she helped him reconnect with his mom again after she kicked him out for wanting to be a professional e-sports gamer. 

Falling Into Your Smile Ending

Falling Into Your Smile has a happy ending where they win at the finals thanks to Tong Yao. Then, we watch Ai Jia and Jin Yang get married and Tong Yao catches the bouquet. It was a typical sweet ending. 

Falling Into Your Smile Review- A Fun Romance between Gamers

I gave this show a 7.5/10. I enjoyed it thoroughly as it was a fun show to watch with e-sports, friendship, romance, conflicts, etc. If I’m being completely honest the reason why I can’t rate the show any higher is because I just felt the show was mediocre at best. I don’t know how to explain it. I was happy when the main leads got together, and honestly, some of the conflicts were fun to watch and I understood how they dealt with it. However, it was just a fun watch. I can't say that I was obsessed and eager to finish the show. I think the reason I couldn’t enjoy this show to the fullest was because Cheng Xiao’s acting in this show was mediocre at best. She kind of always had a poker face throughout the show aksjbfksds.

The e-sports plot was fun to watch and I did really enjoy that part of the show as this was my first time seeing a plot like this. The fandom being crazy for the guys were super real, the chronic injuries that professional e-sports gamers face was shown, the stigma of being a professional gamer was also explored. I really appreciated and enjoyed these arcs in the story. 

Falling Into Your Smile is a fun watch where you see pro-gamers explore the world of romance, team bonding, dealing with societal stigmas on gaming, etc. I did enjoy the show and it was a cute, fun watch and I didn’t regret the time I took to watch it. 

[tapedsleeves]

For the three things about you post!

How long have you watched hockey?

If you could play hockey (or if you play hockey) what player position would you want to play as?

What is your favorite story you have written?

I started watching hockey on June 18, 2021, during the VGK MTL playoff series. I'd just finished reading OMGCP and I was like "oh, it's the playoffs? Let's do that." And then I fell in love! And I had all summer to stew and choose and get invested, and I ended up getting invested in the Golden Knights!

if I could play hockey, I'd probably play defense? Strategically, defensive players need to know what other players are doing and where they're going - their team and the other team, and I think that I would like to learn how to do that. Also, I think Defense is most closely aligned with Goalies and I cannot be a goalie for flexibility reasons, so I would like to support them as much as possible.

Hmmmm it's hard to choose my most favorite story if I'm being honest??? i'm really fond of a lot of them!!

won't run away (but i'll have to take it slow) is really close to my heart, as a fic that deals with a character fumbling around and being really kind when he thinks the person he's romantically interested in might be ace/aro. a 6167 fic!

while we have the time is a really deeply personal fic about noticing things about your partner and making a point to tell them about it (a 5 things fic) a 6167 fic!

from a shudder to a shock wave is also a fic that I go back and read just for the fun of it. If i had to pick a favorite just based on that, it'd be this one. I read lines from this and go "i wrote that? i wrote that!!" i really like this fic! Jack's slow slow progression to liking playing hockey again, to being accepting the team, to falling in love with Marchy & them winning the cup and Jack's feelings about winning him the conn smythe? "shrimps aren't vegetables" and Jack & marchy's stupid reason for kissing is just absolute hilarity to me. I love this stupid fic so much.

[mcalhenwrites]

6 Name the frogs

13 Geckos Automata

Thank you for the ask! :D

6 for Name the Frogs: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

A few of the reasons are spoilers, so I’ll have to navigate around those to answer this question. Some of them deal with the types of relationships I write in the story! (Though I did add a reporter character friendship again.) While I do tend to stick with certain themes in all my stories, like characters navigating trauma, in this one the main character, Irving, is the son of someone openly detested. It makes him a pariah, even though Nestor mistreated him. People think he has been groomed to take over for his father. That has led to some interesting relationship developments in his adult life… And a lack of them, sadly, especially for a kid who acted out in class to impress his peers for laughs. He has been crying out for friends his entire life. 13 for Geckos, Automata: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? Geckos, Automata doesn’t have much of a “playlist” - a lot of my stories don’t, since I tend to either get hooked on a new soundtrack or song in a moment OR I’m repeating the same Yasunori Mitsuda music as I always do. Can’t help it, Mitsuda is good.

Uh, anyway! Here are some songs I definitely recall listening to while writing:

“Abel’s Ark” from Xenosaga Episode III OST, by Yuki Kajiura I want to note that I listened to a lot of this soundtrack recently while editing, and it really fit the mood. But “Abel’s Ark” is the one I keep putting on repeat.

“Dead” from Koudelka OST, by Hiroki Kikuta A peaceful melody from a horror game works well for some of the more heartbreaking moments in Geckos, Automata.

“Waking the Monster” by Darren Hayes When listening to this song, you can definitely sense why it fits the story so well. I actually listened a lot of his music during the writing of this, from “The Future Holds a Lion’s Heart” to “Hero”, but “Waking the Monster” maybe fits a little too well? I’m worried I subconsciously took a lot of plot from the song, even though I actually converged a recent plot with an old one in order to develop the one in Geckos. The old one is from 2011, and yes this song was out back then, but it was about necromancy and stealing from tombs. The one in 2020 that developed alongside some new characters (Duncan, Rosalia, and Kieran) was simply a desire to write a story in a post-apocalyptic world where a group of people banded together and traveled along the train tracks.

“Coffee with a Bullet” from Shadow Hearts OST, by Yoshitaka Hirota I listened to a lot of both SH I & II OSTs, but this one stands out to me a little more than the others. If Hirota didn’t compose it, Mitsuda did. Yes. Mitsuda. I’m predictable.

There’s also a massive chance I was listening to KHUX music at this time, because it hadn’t finished yet, and I was obsessed. This includes a lot of songs from the earlier Kingdom Hearts soundtracks, especially any related to darkness. The game wrapped up in June of 2021, a few months after I wrote the original Geckos draft in one month, so it’s very possible that I was listening to KH music frequently at the time.

[lcndonboysstuff]

That's something that gets me you know. I don't want her and Joe together again obviously. But we all saw the things she wrote about him. In Midnights she was like still talking about how she would never get over him, in YLM she was still asking him to fight (although she also says her heart doesn't beat for him. So when exactly did they start getting sick and was that the period she full on fell for Matty ? There's maylors that think SONB is even about him).

And we know in 2021 and 2022 they were doing trips and generally still very much together and now I'm trying to wrap around that it was all appearances you know. That behind closed doors Taylor atleast, didn't even loved him anymore and worse was cheating with Matty of all people. There was the house too for god's sake. Why would you label your relationship as a cage at the time, were pining for someone else, didn't love the person you were with and dragged it out, asking for more commitement out of him?

All her talk about him being the one she would never get over and her soulmate TM and then...it ends and she shows more feelings and regret over Matty than him. It's like he never even mattered that much yk. Swifties talking about how in June she was crying, upset on stage supposely because of Joe and apparently it was all Matty.

Everyone thinking we were getting a heartbreaking album about the demise of her longest relationship to date, the person she supposely loved so much, wanted to marry etc and instead we got this. Like she got over him in a snap and instead is still pining and would go back to Matty in a heartbeat. It really is making me think Taylor is more in love with the idea of love and the idea of a person than the actual person

the thing about the shows. she was crying during songs while Matty was in the tent clearly joe meant something to her. him not getting multiple songs on this album doesn’t change that lol.

she is clearly in love with the the idea of love. but i don’t think that means she wasn’t actually in love with joe