#i would very much like a job i'd be willing to stick with for the rest of my life

[yzerman]

it’d be cool have a job i can functionally do, and do properly, but between my abrupt quits that involve me and the management shouting at each other, and the fun times i have between that job and the next one, idk how any retail expects anyone to stay tbh 

[cats-artbag]

SwapOut/Webcomic/Twitch PSA!

Hi everyone 👋🏻 Zk here >< or Cats, for older followers

So I've been getting back into doing SwapOut again, but I would like to appeal to everyone who reads and loves the comic. Much love to all of you who's still sticking around 🙏🏻💙 But something has also always been bothering me throughout this journey.

As many of us know, we artists do these comics for free (especially fan comics), starting them out of love and taking a LOT of time and energy out of our lives to continue making them.

And it's amazing how many of you come from translations or comic dubs on Youtube, which are also very well-done and take a lot of effort to make, much love to them too. There is a difference, however.

Monetization.

And I'm not asking for pity! I'm appealing for understanding.

Because some comic dubbers on Youtube are able to earn ad revenue from the videos they upload. From the beginning, we artists have given them the permission to dub our works. But we don't receive anything from it, nor do we usually charge them for using our art (against our better judgement).

We let them use our comic pages in their monetized videos for free. And occasionally these videos receive thousands and millions of views, which I imagine gives a decent amount of ad revenue, while the artists themselves don't usually earn anything from their own artwork, nor do we ever want to put it behind a paywall of any kind. (we like reading free comics too so don't worry x|)

... But doing full-colored comic pages for free eventually gets hard to sustain without any income from it, even more so when we need to give our time and energy to other jobs to earn money for a living instead. We legitimately keep going on our comics purely out of love. Truly, we would LOVE to do our own art for a living. There's things like Patreon but it's only feasible if we're also able to produce bonus content or show BTS, and only people willing to spend money for them can help us, and not readers who aren't able to.

And we understand that not everyone can afford to support us monetarily. And that's okay!

But if you love these comics and want to really help us to keep going, there ARE ways you can easily support us for free!

For example, affiliates on Twitch (like myself) are able to earn ad revenue very early on (they must have at least 50 followers, quite a requirement, but still easier to obtain than Youtube's 1000 subscribers).

(my Youtube, btw. not much rn but drop a subscribe?)

But simply put, if the vast majority of readers from the yt numbers visit and stay for ads on the artists' Twitch streams (remember to have adblocker disabled for the site, if any), they'll be making an actual, physical contribution to the artist themselves, at no cost whatsoever. We earn up to 55% from any ads that run on our stream, so the more viewers, the better!

(this is my twitch on average 8 viewers, with a 3 hour stream. again, the more the better!)

(ofc you can also buy subs to watch ad-free and supports me directly, but i'm typing all this to share the free ways people can support their fave creators ✨)

And even if that doesn't work out, I'd be happy enough to see most of you there 🙏🏻💙 I've been treating my streams as work, so I'm striving not to break the streak.

So drop a follow on my Twitch, and catch the streams when you can! They're great if you need company or background noise, and also great for co-working~

Currently streaming WEEKLY, Mondays, Wednesdays (SwapOut) and Saturdays, 10.30AM EST

(art by @cupcakepaints)

>> twitch.tv/zkcats <<

Anyway thanks for listening to my Ted talk, please share this around for others as well >< 🙏🏻 Artists, make this a reblog chain or something! Promo your stuff!

And apologies for the essay, I wasn't expecting to type this much sdghsgh this itself is not an ad for Twitch or whatev, I'm just a little frustrated with needing to juggle all this.

I was also considering hosting SwapOut somewhere that could get ad revenue, but I wasn't sure where until I realized I can probably earn that from my Tapas now (i think?? sdfhgh up to 70% ad revenue there but i haven't seen any yet) So maybe I'll post there a day earlier than here or something? We'll see. Go subscribe there! Check it out! Reread it! Help ME help YOU!

... Much appreciated ><

[thana-topsy]

If you're up for sharing more writing tips, how can I tell if what I've written is actually any good? With writing I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like I'm the next Shakespeare while writing but then I'll look over my work a few days later and absolutely hate everything and think it's the most cringe shit ever, then I'll leave it a bit longer and think eh it's not as bad as I thought but still not great and so on. I feel like being forced to write for a grade during school and having everything be marked and assessed and assigned a particular value has robbed me of the ability to critically analyse my own work in a way that's objective and accurate but also fair and realistic. I can analyse other peoples' stuff till the cows come home but I lose all rational thought when it comes to my own stuff

Adding onto that, how do I get to the point where I can stop looking back at my old work and hating everything and wanting to delete it all? Realistically I know finding fault with my old stuff is good bc it means I've grown and improved from where I once was etc but at the same time I wanna enjoy stuff I've made in the past without cringing every time I read it

Hey there Nony, I wanted to let this one percolate a little bit before answering because I've been where you are. And it's a rough time for sure. But aside from my own experiences, I also wanted to get the opinions of some of my writerly friends in the fandom, too, since everyone is a little font of wisdom in their own right.

So I'm going to share their advice alongside my own, because this is kind of a complicated string of questions you're asking. Long post ahead!

@paraparadigm says to Keep Writing: "Write more. Write so much (and so many different things) that eventually the sheer volume bulldozes over self-devouring ego, comparison twitches, or feeling lost, because you don't yet know your own baseline. Coupled with "read more, read everything, read things you enjoy and things you don't, read for the craft as much as the entertainment." And: "I'd add that when revisiting old writing, it's helpful for me to differentiate between "ew the writing is not as technically solid as it is now" and "ah that's interesting, I guess that's where I was at then, emotionally and psychologically". Old writing is also a sort of archaeological record of your younger self, and that can, in fact, be a bit itchy to revisit, so learning to cherish that without passing judgement can be really helpful. I try to treat it like those little marks one puts on the door jamb to track a kid's height."

@mareenavee says "Part of it is writing more, as Para said and I will always second that. Another part is, honestly, the hardest part. It's to try very hard to get out of the habit of negative self-talk.... There's so much work involved with this but normalizing being proud of your work and having some grace with yourself is part of that answer."

@archangelsunited says "Early on, instead of going “this has to be a masterpiece” I would tell myself my only job was to tell a story. I couldn’t tell a story if I was deleting it. Also, talking about your work helps. The less ashamed I was of my writing, the more people wanted to read it. There is a need to hide your work, and that can lead to a downward spiral all its own. And, 90% of the time, you have to suck at something to learn to be good at something. The work you already wrote shouldn’t be the sum of all your skill, it should be one of those measuring sticks for the moment. Despite previous thought, you won’t be stuck at the same level forever."

@polypolymorph says "In addition to accumulating experience via reading and writing, you also have to be willing to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately the Process™️ is unique to everyone, and even when you are deliberately mimicking a voice as, say, a ghost writer, you can't expect that 2+2=4 for you. Your process might look more like a Lotka-Volterra equation for the same type of work and that's okay. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what advice actually works for you--and if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't get stuck on pop writing advice like a sad roomba does on an upturned rug. Learn when to throw it out."

So there's some advice from some other excellent writers! I hope you've been able to find some value in their advice, because it certainly kicked me in the pants a few times.

As for me, I think, having been where you are, my biggest piece of advice is: Find joy in the craft. Get curious instead of critical. An artist shouldn't down themselves over a rough sketch when they're working out a drawing, so why would a writer do such a thing? Everything you write is practice. Everything you make has value because it builds up to the next thing you make.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is capable of telling the stories that are in your head. This fact alone gives whatever you put onto paper value, regardless of quality. You are creating magic, in the most literal sense! Creating something out of nothing, conjuring images into someone else's mind from hundreds of thousands of miles away, transcending space and time. It's amazing!

Lastly, my final piece of advice is to just write for fun. Write things nobody else will ever see just because you wanted to get words onto paper. You have to unlearn what was drilled into you in school. You are more than a content creation machine. You are an artist, a wordsmith. And just know that there will never be a day when you look at your own work and say "That's it, I have achieved perfection."

Writing is a life-long journey. Just enjoy the ride!

[eddiediazdefensesquad]

one thing I personally love with Eddie's current storyline is how much it ties back to his closed off nature about his traumas/the shooting/etc. eddie has always had hyperindependent tendencies in my opinion - he thinks he has to do things alone. he is constantly trying to look like he is put together enough to function (ie all of season 8 so far). I'd argue the only times we truly see him ask for help (as opposed to someone offering/jumping in) is when it comes to Christopher (ie, most of the season 7 parenting moments we have with Chris and buck)

But when it's his own personal things, it's really hard for eddie being able to open enough to ask for what he needs. buck is there for his ptsd breakdown only because Christopher called for help, but almost every other big moment when eddie verbalizes what is going on in his head is almost yanked out of him against his will? when he tells Bobby he is mad at shannon for wanting a divorce, when he has to admit his panic attacks because buck won't give up, the list goes on.

eddie didn't grow up in an environment where he was allowed to be anything but okay. his entire life, he had to make his own plans on how to pick himself up. his deployment and marriage with shannon are interesting because he falls right into these roles. oh shannon is pregnant with their son? eddie immediately marries her and then jumps to a career that will provide for their family. a career with premiere health issurance and proper death benefits if something happens to him. his father was never there for his mother, and eddie fell into the same situation - going as far away as possible to provide because that was his job as the 'man of the house'. I don't even think he truly considers how much he is repeating the cycle and neglecting shannon emotionally until she leaves.

throughout the series, we see him do better and better with this, but there are still lots of things that never come to reckoning. I find it very interesting that when he has panic attacks, buck is like well you did just get shot recently, but Eddie is adamant that is not the reason. he knew he was stuck in a corner because he either had to admit the truth about his lack feelings for ana or come to terms that buck would want to talk about the trauma of the shooting.

we see this again in season 6 when buck is struck by lightning and the implications of his 'death' stick with him for a while after. buck asks eddie what he remembered from the shooting, and Eddie clearly diverts eye contact and gives the most vague answer. again, he is reverting back to being there for buck and being what buck needs, but in his mind, the only way to do that is to be small and take up as little space as possible. and at that point, he doesn't want to bring up the trauma of the shooting or how weak his emotions made him feel.

and again and again, we see that differ when it comes to chris. eddie could never see chris as a burden. eddie is holding strong to not be a burden, but he would never think of Christopher that way. ever. eddie loves being needed honestly, and one of their major fights is eddie and chris working through chris needing him *less* (chris wanting to go to the park with his friends). I'd argue he loves being needed by buck almost as much as he loves being needed by chris. he would do anything to take care of his people's needs, but he doesn't even give a second thought to neglecting his own. the biggest example of this, i think, was dispatch eddie. he barely gave it any thought before he transferred. being a firefighter was part of his identity, something so vital to helping him feel his own worth, but he was willing to give that up immediately when chris expressed his fears.

with Chris not actually in his care anymore, this is the first time eddie has to ever put his own needs first. and one of those needs *is* his son. right now, eddie feels like this is the best option for chris because this is what chris wants, but fighting for his son is going to be eddie fighting for his own needs.

it'll be one of the first times we will ever see him put himself first purposely.

and I think once we open that well up to where eddie feels more confident in his worth as a whole person, he will finally be able to express things he always felt were 'too much'. (ie, the shooting, all the other traumas of his life). eddie has never had a moment where he hasn't felt the weight of the world on top of him with all the things he is responsible for, so it will be so beautiful to see him recognize that he deserves true care for himself (and not just chris!!) too.

that is what I'm most excited about his arc. yes, I'd love to see a reckoning on his sexuality for sure, but the acknowledgement that eddie understands his worth and that he is not a burden - that people help him because they *love* him. that's so personal to me 😭

[zipstidbits]

hi zip! 👋 i'm just really curious about how you got into astrophysics 👀 and what careers interest you in that field if you don't mind sharing ☺️ i just think it's so cool, but like, in the way of someone who knows absolutely nothing about astrophysics except that it's probably really hard and also rockets 😛🚀 have a lovely day! 💞

hi zesty!!!!! thanks so much for asking, i don't mind sharing at all :))))

how i got into astrophysics:

both my parents are second-generation americans so education/college was always The Big Goal growing up. this translated to my parents really emphasizing math and science skills and i got really interested in science this way. (the post-cold war american cultural emphasis on science as a whole probably contributed to this as well, lmao.)

i ended up momentarily ditching the science dream because i started struggling with math in middle school. i can do it, but my adhd means i struggle to hold numbers in my head (do mental math) and sometimes i can be slow/need to write things out more than others/make silly mistakes/and then get bogged down by imposter syndrome. this was like 10+ years ago so i had zero diagnoses and minimal support so i hopped onto the anti-math train.

i never stopped liking science though. i want to know everything and imo, science contains the answers to everything and is how we'll learn all that is unknown right now. once i hit high school and science class started having a shit ton more math i started to view math differently. it became the whole 'the enemy (math) of my enemy (the unknown) is my friend' thing. thankfully, math, when applied to physics concepts, makes more sense than when in a pure math class, so this became a very doable arrangement.

i also started consuming a lot more pop-science/science in the news around this time. neil degrasse tyson, the one astrophysics class i took in high school, and my dad who played a lot of star trek and pbs space videos on youtube to bond with me opened my mind to the most beautiful thing ever (space). i just think it's the coolest thing ever and the unknowns are so cool and i want to know what's going on up there so bad!!!!

this (and some spite*) led me to apply to college for a BS in physics. doing just physics and not astrophysics was sort of a safety net because i thought i'd really like particle physics too but it turns out quantum mechanics is evil and fucked up so i chose to stick with astrophysics as my concentration, lmao.

*i felt like a lot of my peers in high school assumed i couldn't do this because i wasn't naturally good at math/physics and i took a little more time and effort (i spent a lot of early mornings and afternoons in help sessions, lmao) and a part of me wanted to prove them wrong.

then, this past fall/winter, i applied for a bunch of astrophysics phd programs because i've thankfully got a BS degree and i've made my mind up on what i want to do in life (study/learn about space). i got rejected from 7 out of the 8 schools i applied to which was terrible in the moment but great now because i didn't really have to choose what program to accept, lmaoooooooooooo.

careers that interest me:

i very much enjoy teaching (i was a teaching assistant this year) and i would really like to continue it. i could probably do that in most research jobs by mentoring others in a lab/research setting but also being a professor sounds really cool and appealing to me since i could do research and traditional teaching, lmao.

i'm kind of willing to give most astrophysics research jobs a try, i think? the only line i'd really draw is i don't want to work anywhere near the american military-industrial complex for moral reasons

thank you again for asking zesty!!!! sorry for rambling so much and i hope you have a lovely day as well!!! <33333

[dr9com9ge-ix]

I'd adore to know more about Wili, if you've had any more thoughts...

Hello Anon! I’ve had many thoughts since this was sent and have accumulated them! Accompanied by some Wili Art by yours truly! (Long post warning, Yapping time! Thank you so much for sending this ask!!!!!)

So this is Wili- Former employee of K-corp (Specifically the food resource development team, Mostly focused on horticulture) and now current employee of the Limbus company! He has a strong desire (nearing obsession) to innovate on how food is obtained and spreading it across the city when he finds it by any means necessary! He left his old job because he felt like it was stagnating and didn’t let him expriment as much as he’d like to (He was in a very middle position I imagine, Not quite at the bottom but not a big enough shot to be on level with Dongrang or something)

And so this spurs him to look elsewhere to satisfy this hunger for knowledge, for a world where one could just pick an apple off a tree and never starve again and well like… His literal hunger!

So he was offered a chance to satisfy that by the Limbus company and he happily accepted! Ever curious about the abnormalities the company faces- If whether or not they’d taste good or provide anything for people. Both in the name of science and the future but also because he is hungry. A wee bit of mad scientist and a gourmand in one.

His EGO is called Stomachache!— It sort of delves into the carrot on a stick/ Forbidden fruit sort of vibe of the future he wants being akin to a ravenous hunger, the kind that turns people into feral animals. He literally bites people in his EGO attack! (Thats where the healing comes from-) He also is quite food agressive and it factors into his passive making him go faster, Probably the sanity hit from EGO use making him act alot less polite than he usually is.

He definitely wants the whole “Food is now easily accessible for everyone!” utopia so he could eat as much as he wants and not think of the possibility of it being taken from him- Also because he thinks the worst thing you could do to someone is just starving them!

Butcher Vanity is probably the main song I listen to when doodling him- Its a very him song to me. Also still thinking about other characters relating to his past/ would be in his Canto and I think it’d be cute to make em fruit themed (There… Isn’t alot of characters to work off of in his source material…Its literally just The Hungry Caterpillar)

Also for other EGOs aside from his own he definitely would have Mountain of smiling bodies/ Smile - Its relating to the hunger! And well he may or may not be willing to kill to have consistent and hearty meals. (also say Hi to Erik my boy he’s in this doodle page too). Maybe also a Fairy Festival/ Fairy Gentleman Ego too. As for IDs- Mayhaps an Eighth Chef/Greta one, a Liu assocation. All that jazz!

Other wee facts about Wili

- Wili has pretty bad hunger pangs, enough to make him want to eat before he thinks he’ll get them. Has a tendency to overeat though.

- He loves talking at length about agriculture — Though mostly from a scientific lens, as he’s never been a farm boy. Mostly working on plants in a lab setting rather than a field. He’ll also yap about food preparation too.

- Kind of dude that will try to grow stuff from groceries.

- His favorite food is a fresh fruit salad but a nice rare steak is a close second!

- He may or may not have considered who to eat first in case of an emergency and may have been too enthusiastic to try human flesh. (much to his coworkers’ horror and then eventual “Okay Wili we know…” /exasperated)

- His little caterpillar hairclip was a gift from a former coworker at K-corp. He thinks its very cute and just has it on him all the time.

-He’s… Maybe also inspired by the Genetically Modified Caterpillar video- In the sense of “Little hungry dude becomes horrifying due to this insatiable hunger and devours things due to science!”

- His name comes from the unused title/ Draft title of The Hungry caterpillar which was “A week with Wili the worm” Because I really didn’t want to name him after the author (I’d have Eric with a C and Erik with a K in that case) and couldn’t find a caterpillar-ish name that would work.

[valorianknights]

Sorry I'm on anon, I'm shy, but OMG I saw your Radiojoy art (Alastor x Emily) and I genuinely?? Love it?? As a crackship it has so much potential. She's clearly assertive, witty, and unafraid to call BS. She's also dedicated and willing to listen when necessary. I'd love for her to be the one, at the end of all things, to be the final reason, the last push Alastor needs to actually try or want to be redeemed.

"There's good in everyone,"

"Not me, darling."

"... You're just making excuses. It's easy to be a brat. All kids are born that way."

"Yes, you would know, wouldn't you?" He'd dust off his spectacle and in the background his shadow would show off some horrible thing, souls screaming or whatever.

"I'm not falling for your obvious bait. And when you've grown up enough, you'll see it, too. That you're not beyond redemption."

He'd grip his cane so tightly and his smile would grow thin. -cue Alastor lore dumping via a story about "someone else," a fairy tale, that very clearly implicates his past and wherein the moral is "some people are just born bad," kind of like the Scorpion and the Frog story-

Because a part of him rises to the fire in her. The relentless and almost imposing joy, but she's the REAL joy. The kind that sticks with you. I feel like she wouldn't be afraid to do the hard work it takes to soften the edges of others. She makes me think of water, she can adapt. Alastor loves being the center of attention, and a part of him would love getting it even from an angel. But he'd also feel threatened. His power largely seems to stem from fear and he's desperate for control. I feel like because of Emily's "job," she could help him find fun ways to relinquish control without feeling lost, to inure him to bigger losses. To strengthen his faith in his newfound family. Idk! Sorry

Don't apologize! This is so cool and I love your analysis of this crackship! I hope you have fun with this ship! 😄 You've made my day!

Thank you

[abitofafreudmoment]

HELLO IRL FRIEND OF NICO

i have noticed that you are into discworld and would like to hear more about it bc i am interested in reading it but am incapable of getting into anything unless it's been hyped up to me enough and you seem like you'd be willing to ramble lovingly about this series so uhh. favorite characters? what's it about? themes? fun tidbits?

(no pressure though and sorry if this is a weird way to introduce myself hi im luce)

lol no worries Luce! yes I'm very happy to ramble for you. (post-writing here, this is so all over the place sorry for like not sticking to one area but hey it's defos a loving ramble - kinda just talked about vague stuff, but I can 100% go into specifics).

So. . . where do I begin?

40 books in the series, he wrote right up until his death. NOT a continuous plotline through all 40. In fact, I recommend not starting with the first one (two actually)as it's not spectacular (that being said, it is still worth reading once you're in the series, good for the overall worldbuilding if memory serves). below is a sorta ok guide to how they connect - I have my issues with it but it's the best I've found.

I wouldn't recommend starting with Sourcery, but that's cuz Rincewind isn't my favorite character - I'd start with either equal rites or Lords and Ladies or Mort or The Truth or The Fifth Elephant or just wherever really as long as it isn't the Colour of Magic or the Light Fantastic.

A few crucial ordering things - READ THUD AND SNUFF (and ig Making Money and Going Postal) BEFORE RAISING STEAM. READ THIEF OF TIME BEFORE NIGHT WATCH. Those are the really imperative ones that you gotta order right, generally do it vaguely chronologically and yeah. Have at it.

The Hedgehog Song - this is a tidbit that shows up a lot in the Witches books as a very rude song that Nanny Ogg sings, BUT WE NEVER GET THE WORDS and I so want them.

Because it was written over 32 years, there are so many characters that just like slowly worm their way into it and I love watching a character turn from like a single footnote into a fully-fledged, important-to-the-plot character (I'm looking at YOU, Cassanunda)

SPEAKING OF FOOTNOTES OMG the books are riddled with them and. . . chef's kiss they add So Much to the series. They're so funny.

Pratchett is actually just like so funny as an author in general, but wittily so. Not saying he does pure comedy - he doesn't. Many a time have I cried over a Pratchett book. He's also great at taking stuff and . . . twisting it ig into something brilliantly new - Take, for instance, Maskerade, which is the Phantom of the Opera but Pratchettifyed (New word! yay! I'll be using it a lot I'm sure.). or like just what he does with Fairy Tales in general (Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies sorta)

Also his MAGIC omg - soft magic system done right. I also love like the different approaches to magic that the witches and wizard have to it. Also how like the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions get [spoilers removed]

The gods man. Love them. They exist, they feed off of raw belief (Small Gods' premise is that people start believing in the institution formed around a god as opposed to the god itself and then that god like almost dies cuz no-one believes in him. (surprise surprise it's a commentary on the Church)) and they play games with the lives of men (the Last Hero). Love Granny Weatherwax's opinion on them which goes smthn like this: "No use believin' in 'em, it only serves to encourage 'em." <-- As a concept belief is not simply tied to the gods either. He does a lot of stuff about how what people believe to be true can affect how they perceive things around them.

THE FOOLS. Pratchett understood the tragedy of clowns and as such his fools are so insanely sad - the Fools' Guild is the least happy of all the guilds. I love them so much

Speaking of guilds: the Guild of Thieves. is a legit guild set up by Vetenarii to do crime to the socially acceptable level and no higher - I'm doing a bad job explaining it but it's ingenious.

Vetenarii is probably one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He, above all else, understands how humans work and he uses that skill to get people to do what he wants.

Pratchett does not pull the punches when it comes to messaging and such - very anti-war, anti-racism, anti-sexism etc. Also love what he does with People and how they can/can't be controlled (The human condition as a whole ig) - one of my fav quotes from the series is Vimes saying "They're scared. You can't expect much from people when they're scared."

My personal fav book is Monstrous Regiment, which is relatively standalone. Very good. Very "horrors of war"-y with a touch of the classic [redacted due to spoilers].

I could go on, but this post is getting very long so if I do continue I'll do it in another post.

TL;DR: Pratchett = FUCKING BRILLIANT

[clunelover]

I love my BFF so much, but we had a convo a few weeks ago that got me very emo and I still haven't quite recovered.

She was talking about how she's thinking more and more about shifting into private practice, and how between the flexible schedule that could give her, plus her husband now exclusively working as a dog sitter/walker, also flexible, and her parents being willing to help a lot with childcare, they probably won't have to put their baby in daycare at all.

I think this is AWESOME. And she's been private-practice-curious for a couple years now, and probably would've already made the jump if not for being pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, for so long and needing solid insurance. I have known even before she did that it would be a situation where, once you get a taste of that money + scheduling freedom, you'll never go back. So none of this is surprising to me -- all good!!!

Her parents, however, for as many awesome qualities as they have (and they really are awesome, I love them so much and wish they could be my parents, or in particular I wish her dad could be my dad), are unhealthily tied to the ideal of productivity. Her dad is a farmer and her mom was an ADA. They have both worked HARD, forever. They have definitely assigned morality to one's job status. It goes a long way to explaining why BFF finished college a year early and has almost always worked at least two jobs, even if she didn't strictly need to.

So, that's all background to a couple weeks ago, BFF had told her mom that her husband was not going back to his part time office job at all, and would only do dog gigs. Her mom freaked out way too much about this. They moved past it, but BFF was very much still smarting over it. She started recounting to me what her mom said, and what she thought about what her mom said, and then some general thoughts about the merits of daycare vs. no daycare - and I realize that what was really happening is, she was replaying the fight with her mom, and talking to her mom and not actually to me. BUT it was jumbled up enough that I did think she was talking more TO me (plus, like...she literally was? Talking to me?)

And I was nodding along and you-go-girling, until she said some things like "I wanted to have a baby for so long, and now I finally do, so why would I go through all this time and heartache to get her here, only to stick her in daycare all day?" ...again, now that I know she didn't mean that at ME, I can kinda swallow it, but it was hard not to think "oh yeah, so I had a baby quickly, so I guess I didn't want the baby as much? And so that's why I didn't care about 'sticking them in daycare all day'??"

The other offending comment was "I know lots of people do have to send their kids to daycare!" (which to me implies, the only reason you'd make such a horrible choice is if you HAD to).

In the moment I just cried and couldn't say much coherent other than "you can say these things without having to bash daycare."

I just drove home crying and replaying it...it wasn't til I got home that I grasped just how much she wasn't even talking to me - like, at one point she said "and you were lucky enough to be able to afford daycare for three kids" and in the moment I just thought "huh? I only have two kids" but then later I put that together - her MOM has three kids.

She texted to apologize and confirmed that she just got in a rant and couldn't stop. I've seen her at least once since then and it was all good. But I think she has this underlying thought still that she can't talk about her choices now without worrying about offending me and making me think she's condemning my choices, when it's not actually about me at all! But it's hard to explain that I am actually pretty receptive to statements like "I'd rather configure my schedule so my husband and I can take turns with the baby" or even "I don't want to send her to daycare" as long as they don't veer so far into judgment about daycare and the people who "have to" send their kids there.

IDK I don't think I'll bring it up tho, unless it comes up naturally. There's just too much risk I'll stumble over my words and start crying and make it worse.

Also this horrible conversation was part of what made me really start looking at the idea of me eventually stopping working. She was saying something about their budget changing, but that "there is no number"- i.e. no amount of additional income that would make it "worth" sending the baby to daycare - and that made me realize that there's no number for me either - no amount of extra income that makes the logistical realities of two kids and two full times jobs more manageable.

So...all's well that ends well hopefully.

[saveraedae]

is 'The Mark Side' episode 2 ever coming out ? You know, the 'Amazing Digital Circus' is already having episode 2 but 'The Mark Side' came out years ago and still no episode 2. :|

There is no set release date for episode 2 and I can't currently give one unfortunately, as much as i'd like to. Just know it's being worked on! 💖

But I can say though, Glitch (who is behind TADC's production) is a studio with lots of employees, whilst I am a single person who is managing every single aspect of my production myself. So I don't consider the two shows equivalent when it comes to their productions. TMS also has one animator, who is also myself. I'm not able to keep up with the pace of other productions because I am truly independent, the only additional crew are the (very talented) voice actors and a couple writers, most of whom also are also actors on the show.

I would absolutely love to get additional help but it's not exactly easy to find people willing to assist in things like this merely for the hobby of it. So my stance (at least for the time being,) is that if I have the ability to do the job, I'm going to do it, whether I like doing it or not, and I plan to stick to this logic until hypothetically TMS generates an actual profit that doesn't just go into funding the aspects I cant do. Which it is FARRR from. (episode 2 also technically has little/no budget, as the few aspects that are paid I fund myself) Essentially everyone currently working on it is doing it because they wanted to contribute, not just as another job.

I do plan to run a crowdfunding campaign after episode 2 is released and has been out for while to get 3 funded, and if it goes according to plan and then some, it shouldn't take nearly as long as episode 2 took. And if it fails, i'll still make it but it'd likely take just as long. (and be like, really really disappointing and demotivating) But that's something that'd be quite a while away, I'm trying to focus on what's going on in the present.

It is my absolute goal in life to be able to get TMS to a point where I can hire on additional crew members and be self sustainable like other successful indie productions but I'm nowhere near that point. Only time will tell if the whole show will be able to fully get to the finish line. I really hope it does. It's what I've been aiming for for 8 years now.

[chaiiitealeaves]

look i've tried my best not to go absolutely insane about good omens s2 but that has failed miserably and here i am. i just. heres a massive rant mainly about aziraphale. (good omens s2 ep6 spoilers)

i am such a firm believer that there is no theorising to be had with the ending, regarding why aziraphale did what he did. there's nothing you can say. it was totally in character for aziraphale, and it was totally in character for crowley. it made so much sense and THAT is why it hurt; i just cannot for a second outsource aziraphales responsibility to the metatron or anyone else.

the metatron didn't coerce aziraphale - he didn't have to. aziraphale just jumped at the opportunity to 'fix' things. things, however, do not mean crowley. i mean, i'm sure this opinion has been BEATEN TO DEATH by now, but i'd still like to get it out there.

aziraphale tends to pick up very well on verbal communication, but not very well on non-verbal communication. aziraphale will always listen to crowley's outbursts (such as, calling crowley nice, and being pinned violently to a wall because of it), and will not take it personally. he listens, regardless of tone, and seems to understand crowley better through his verbal responses. that obviously isn't to say they ever communicate, THEY DON'T, but aziraphale is still better at verbal cues than non-verbal ones. aziraphale can never anticipate crowley's actions, however, and we see this with job's children. aziraphale was genuinely unsure of what crowley would do. with crowley, it seems to be the exact opposite. he anticipates aziraphale - he knows that aziraphale is going to like food before he's even tried it, he knows exactly how to coerce aziraphale to help stop armageddon in the first series/book because he knows exactly what aziraphale likes and cares about.

i think that communication difference is exactly why the end hurt so much. aziraphale - and i will die on this hill - must've firmly believed that crowley was going to be happy with the news. and so, he was totally lost when crowley responded poorly. and i mean, aziraphale knew IMMEDIATELY that crowley had responded poorly, he just thought that he had to explain his point better. aziraphale just wasn't able to pick up on the true reason for that very obvious, deep hatred for heaven that crowley has. his angelic ball of thoughts that we liken to a brain is telling him that not that crowley hates heaven because it's corrupt, but that crowley hates heaven because he was CAST OUT. it's a misinterpretation built on 6000+ years of no real communication.

aziraphale wanted to fix heaven for crowley, he didn't want to fix crowley for heaven. and yet, that's exactly how it came across. and because neither of them talk, crowley was taking aziraphale's words in his own (wrong) way, and aziraphale was taking crowley's reactions as 'not understanding'. honestly, aziraphale's overeager want to make things 'good' and 'right' again is what makes. every word he speaks is hypocrisy, because he's not speaking for a principle, he's speaking to try and convince someone. that's why we get such extreme statements from him: "you could be an angel again" is just an echo of "nothing lasts forever" - he is so insanely sure that crowley would want to - should want to - be an angel again, that he's willing to leave everything behind for his one little corrupt corner of eternity. it's poisonous, watching aziraphale stick so intensely to the rules of heaven and hell. but it's inherently in character.

to aziraphale, gabriel and beelzebub's departing was initially grounds for a confession. i mean, look at him.

just look at his absolute happiness at being able to take crowley out to dance!!! in this episode, we get some real gems of aziraphale's true, deep love in his reactions - the infatuated smiles, the 'you're being silly', the hand on crowley's chest in the pub, the 'oh, crowley loves saving me' and VERY specifically, the gripping of crowley's shirt when he sees gabriel and beelzebub together because it means that they could be too. and quite honestly, i don't think the series conclusion throws ANY of that away!! i think the conclusion enhances it so aggressively! why? because it's made so much more painful.

aziraphale was so, SO ready to accept crowley's confession. he was going to confess himself - i am willing to die on that hill. throughout the whole season, he seems so infatuated and so ready to open himself up. yet, the moment the metatron proposes a promotion to archangel, that is all thrown away. all the rebellion he was willing to put up is lost. and i can understand that, because of the switch around in thought pattern, it's easy to say that the metatron manipulated him. but honestly? i really disagree with that take!

aziraphale is just not the type of angel to go against the rules. it took stupid amounts of alcohol to even get him to consider going against heaven regarding armageddon, and even then, he had to find his own loophole to justify it, AND EVEN THEN, HE ATTEMPTED TO CONVINCE HEAVEN TO CALL IT OFF DEMOCRATICALLY UNTIL THE VERY END. THE REASON HE ENDED UP DISCORPORATED AND FORCED TO POSSESS MADAM TRACY WAS BECAUSE HE WAS CONVERSING WITH THE METATRON TO TRY AND DEMOCRATICALY STOP ARMAGEDDON.

as he was ending that tether of obedience - as his want to be with crowley overcame the want to follow the rules - he seemed more bold. when he saw gabriel and beelzebub, that boldness solidified. he was willing to break rules and stand up for himself and crowley - at least, that's how i interpreted it, this season. but of course, he switched his opinions when an easier and SAFER route was provided for him. by making crowley an angel again, all the 'problems' would be solved. he wouldn't have to disobey heaven, crowley wouldn't be bound to the 'wrong' side, and they could be together. of course this thought pattern is inherently wrong, but it's a route that he would be more willing to take because - in his mind - it is a route that protects them.

and oh my god!! that apology after the kiss!! despite the fact it was tone deaf, it was also an apology in good faith. like the apology in s1, he is doing something, but unlike the apology in s1, he's also doing another thing. these things are:

distancing himself from the scenario. by apologising, he doesn't have to actually confront that what crowley's saying might be the better option. he is giving crowley the opportunity to take back his words so that both of them can continue playing by the book. we see this in season one.

misinterpreting literally everything. in season 1, that apology was a distancing attempt. hard and fast, clean and cut. but this time, i am genuinely and ENTIRELY willing to believe that aziraphale didn't understand crowley's kiss. sure, the apology might've also been based on distancing himself, but i would rather die than step down from my belief that aziraphale just wasn't able to grasp why crowley would kiss him if it weren't to apologise.

let me elaborate on this because i can't just put it in one point.

that kiss was seemingly out of the blue, for aziraphale. they had argued, it was nearly over, and then crowley decided to do something kind of - to aziraphale - a bit mental.

i mentioned, at the start of this bloody endless essay, that aziraphale is more adept at picking up on verbal cues. crowley, however, is able to pick up on non-verbal cues. what makes the scene so heart-wrenching is how they both choose to communicate. aziraphale explains again and again because words are what should make sense, and so crowley fumbles his way through communication. aziraphale listens - he waits, he's patient, like he always is - and then he just goes back to explaining, calmly, patiently, as if crowley is somehow just not understanding it. so crowley, as a last ditch attempt to get aziraphale to stay and rethink everything, kisses him.

you know that scene. the scene. this one.

this thing? this moment? you know, where aziraphale doesn't even flinch? i mentioned this earlier - aziraphale is prioritising the words, and listening to their meanings, disregarding the venom in his tone. there's a reason people keep comparing the two scenes! whilst shot similarly, the most harrowing similarities and differences arise the moment you look a bit deeper. for example, aziraphales demeanour. he's calm when crowley pins him to the wall and seethes in his tone, but he's flailing when kissed. see, when crowley finally does something that isn't accompanied by words - a human display of passion and love, a plea - aziraphale has nothing verbal to go off of.

"i forgive you" is a terrible thing to say, don't get me wrong, but aziraphale jumped to one conclusion. one that would let him believe - in his mind - the best case scenario. that the kiss was an apology. and so, when crowley storms out, we get this.

regret, confusion, guilt, that's all very present. he's not only misunderstood crowley, but he's talked down to him and severed a very important and close relationship. but the way he touches his own lips, oh my god.

aziraphale's always been tempted by humanely pleasures. food, obviously. but he also just enjoys their culture an obvious amount. books, for instance! that's not something you'd be getting in heaven, even though the bible is probably endorsed. books are a human thing. as is food, as is theatre, as is magic.

a kiss is totally within that spectrum. it's a human pleasure. and aziraphale adores that closeness, and he has just LOST IT FOREVER. it's the most specific look of regret i've ever seen on a character. it's performed so well. aziraphale truly thinks that he's doing what he's doing for good - transforming heaven, making it less corrupt, making it better. so when he walks away for good and gets in the elevator, he thinks he's making the right sacrifice. but, if you ask me, crowley must be thinking that aziraphale has finally found the one temptation he won't give into.

and it's crippling, for the both of them.

tldr; aziraphale fucked up so bad, and it is his own fault. but also, it's still totally in character!!!

sorry for the longest post ever oh mygod

[lastontheboat]

Fandom creators self rec game! Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.

Thank you @tackytigerfic for providing me an opportunity for navel-gazing! I enjoyed reading about your own favourites; I find it super interesting to see what other creators value about their works.

Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it)

This is my favourite completed fic for a number of reasons:

1. I had always wanted to try writing an epistolary

2. I had always wanted to try collaborating on a fic with a friend

3. The writing process was an absolute joy

It feels like a distillation of many of my favourite things, but unlike many fics the creation process didn't involve tearing my hair out trying to make it do what I wanted. Whenever I'd get stuck, I'd just close the document and go to bed, then when I woke up the next morning @fluxweeed would have added several new scenes that set my brain on fire. It was an absolutely magical experience for me, and I'm extremely fond of the end result. This is probably the fic of mine that I've re-read the most, and it delights me every time!

Podfic of Stop All The Clocks, by firethesound

I've got a lot of podfics to choose from, but this is one that I'm particularly proud of. The original fic is imprinted on my soul, but the thing that sticks with me more than the actual plot is the sensation of reading it and feeling my heart break over and over.

Making podfics is a very personal craft for me. It's an investment of my time, and I generally choose ones to record that I strongly associate with a particular first-time reading experience. This was my sixth large podfic project, and I really wanted my reading to amplify the heartbreak that's already present in the text. It was a much more emotional recording and editing process than most of my podfics, but it's also the only one I've listened to entirely after releasing it.

I'm extremely fond of every listener who has taken the plunge and commented about their experience of it, and completely understand everyone who has been like "I don't fuck with that fic. You couldn't pay me to listen it."

body electric

This is the first fic I can recall writing that was entirely driven by a feeling. I remember being consumed by the idea of that spark between Harry and Draco, of them needing to feed it and hold it but being unable to act upon it. I was between jobs and had a lot of time to myself, and I wrote this fic in a fugue state over the space of two days. I had never experienced a writing process so feverish before, and I don't know if I will again.

I also need to shout out the beta feedback I got from @zaharya on this one, whose very insightful comments about the passage of time in the second chapter led to me adding a bunch of my favourite lines to it:

“I want to bend you over this table,” he says, panting now. “I want you under me, here in my workshop. You’ll leave here and every time you smell wood shavings you’ll think of me.” “I already do,” Malfoy says, his voice cracking.

Podfic of If The Fates Allow, by saras_girl

I spend a lot of time listening to audiobooks these days, and I really appreciate being able to consume so many stories while driving or cooking. For me, recording a podfic is about giving others the opportunity to experience some of my favourite fics, and trying to capture some of what they mean to me in my voicing.

saras_girls fics hold a very special place in my heart, and this one is my absolute favourite of hers. As a podfic, the biggest challenge here was dealing with the ensemble cast—it stretched the limits of unique voices I could do without them sounding forced, but it was also exciting trying to keep the voices consistent across 25 chapters.

the spirit is willing (the flesh is weak)

This is the newest fic that I finished (the only one so far in 2023), but I haven't made too much noise about it on here because it's attached to my alt account. This one started out as a concept that wouldn't leave me alone (Bill/Ginny fuck or die), but it's also another data point in my exploration of what it's like to write smut.

I still don't think it comes naturally to me, whatever that means—I'm much more comfortable keeping my writing to Teen, but I'm very satisfied with how this fic achieves what I set out to do with it. It was a stretch, but a good stretch!

[sushisocks]

Hey there! I believe you said in another post that the final confrontation would be unlikely to happen if lenny and sean were alive, so i'd like to ask if you could expand on that pls(if u havent already and i just didnt see it lol)

Btw on a side note im actually super invested in your sean content😭😭the fandom seems to only talk ab him to label as an idiot, so as a fellow sean lover the way you characterize him has me so in love❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh Anon you are SO LOVELY!!! Thank you not only in giving me the opportunity to rant more about Sean and Lenny (which I am always so willing to do), but also for your super kind words!! Sean is very dear to me, and I'm glad my reading into him as much as I do strikes a chord with other people ;;u;;

The way the general fandom often characterizes him isn't very surprising to me, given his personality & the surface level impressions he gives, but maybe for now I'll save THAT rant for another time, else we stay here forever lmaoo

So, to start answering your question, I believe you're talking about my post from a few months ago, where I talk about how I believe Sean & Lenny would've sided with Arthur & John if they'd lived to see the final confrontation. In it I mention how I find that final confrontation a lot more unlikely were Lenny & Sean to survive that far and stick around for the entire thing.

Now, WHY do I believe this? I touch on it briefly in that original post, but let's really get into it here!!

Okay to start off, there's a LOT of ways I see things going, in regards to Sean and Lenny, were they both to survive, because it adds SO MANY variables, but let's start at the very top.

At a meta level, it is important to recognize that RDR2 is a prequel to RDR1. This meant from the get that RDR2, as it is canonically, was bound to a certain outcome, to set up for RDR1. This ALSO means, that every step from the start of RDR2 was very much there not only to lay the groundwork for the end of RDR2 but also add another emotional layer to RDR1. This is all certainly things we are aware of already, but I think it's important to have that context in mind while we talk about alternative outcomes.

Because, see, Sean and Lenny HAD to die for the outcome in RDR2 to be the one it is. Not only them, but Hosea, Kieran, Molly, and Susan's deaths are ALL integral and important to the story, they ALL make a difference and contribute in pushing the story a certain way, and in reinforcing the steadily increasing hopelessness which infest the gang from Sean's death and out.

So if we're like "what if none of them died?" there are suddenly a LOT of new variables for every mission and every scenario we know from the game, which need to be considered. This is true EVEN if the change in survival count is only reduced to Lenny & Sean.

How different do you not think Shady Belle would have felt, initially, without Sean's death hanging over it? What about the bank job -- would Lenny & Sean end up on the boat to Guarma? What would've happened to them there, then? Would either of them be caught by the Pinkertons instead, with John or in his stead maybe? What other options would there have been, where would they end up at the end of that?

And already here we have to consider how those experiences might've impacted them psychologically, because of who they are.

In the post I mentioned earlier, I talk about how Lenny is new to the gang and probably isn't as stuck in it mentally as Arthur and John, nor do Sean and Lenny have the same emotional attachment/baggage in regards to Dutch. They're loyal of course, because they feel a sense of obligation to the gang, because it provides them with safety, friends, and allies, in an otherwise unkind world.

But what then happens when that changes?

How do you expect Sean and Lenny to respond when the gang starts turning on itself? When Dutch visibly starts losing it? When people start snapping at each other and threatening one another in the middle of camp?

(I have a half-formed thought here about how people would ABSOLUTELY be snapping and talking down to Sean in a way more cruel way towards the end of the game, for trying to keep things light and easy, yknow, fulfilling his role in the gang. I can only imagine what that'd end up doing to him, tbh.)

And, I'll be repeating myself from other posts here, but how do you think Lenny, a young black man painfully aware of the social structure as it exists in America at that point in time, would react to realizing what Dutch's plan with the Wapiti is? Same goes for Sean, who has SEVERAL instances through the game showing him just as politically aware as Lenny - certainly moreso than Arthur.

Would the outcome for the Wapiti tribe be the same, do you think, if Charles had more people than a very sick and tired Arthur to lean on, willing to help? Would Lenny in particular want to stick around to see Dutch attempt to drive the tribe into the ground for his own gain?

Also, I'm sorry but like, Lenny has a camp interaction with Dutch where he disagrees with him (about Miller, Dutch's favorite author) and explains why in a very well-articulated manner. In one instance, Dutch gets straight up offended by it, bcz Lenny can argue very well (and is RIGHT mind you lol).

I do absolutely believe that Lenny would not just sit around quietly in Beaver Hollow. I'd expect him to be among the most vocal in their discontent with the situation, and probably the best at arguing against Dutch.

That is, up until a certain point. Lenny is a young black boy, and Dutch is a white authority figure. Watch Dutch snap and yell at him, like he does John in Ch6 for example, and see how much longer Lenny sticks around fr. The trade is loyalty for safety and the same in kind. Why do you think members start leaving when things start looking their worst? And don't you think Lenny would be among the first to see the writing on the wall?

Though that is hinging on that very specific vibe in Beaver Hollow, where they're all scattered and losing their ties to one another. Add then in Sean, who is VITAL as social glue, and for making conversations easier. If he, and Lenny, and Mary-Beth, Tilly, Arthur, Charles, etc etc, insert your favorites here, managed to retain some of that community feeling, despite it all, then I absolutely see Lenny sticking around for them.

Same goes for Sean, tbh. I can see him leaving earlier, bcz the trade stops being equal and bcz he's not being taken seriously, and I can see him staying, for his friends.

There IS also a version of things where things are similar and I do see Sean siding with Dutch; but that is a very sad and lonely Sean, who is VERY different from where he's at in Clemens Point, and I think that's an unfair perspective to take for him in general.

Okay so, now we're back to that final confrontation, after I said I found it unlikely, why is that? Because, with every question I've posed thus far, about what Lenny & Sean's reactions might've been to canon events after their deaths, I have essentially presented a variable that comes with their survival to those points. Them being there for it, HAS to mean a change, has to mean something different happens, because their deaths are direct contributors to the path we already know the story takes WITHOUT their presences.

Now, what are those differences and changes? I honestly can't answer; something being different earlier or later can butterfly-effect into something completely new or remarkably similar to what we already know. I could sit here all day and wax poetic about all the different options and possibilities for where things could go, were ANY character to survive past their death point, BUT thankfully, that is what fanfiction is for, lol.

I hope this satisfied some of your curiosity, dear anon!! It was a lot of fun for me to write and think about, so thank you very much for asking!!!

[admirange]

Mcl style contest outfit dump pt. 7

Bloodlust

I will NOT give up on a perfect Cassandra Dimitrescu outfit. Still not great but I thought I'd try again since I already have more clothes than last time. This is a Dimitrescu cosplay evolving series, I will try again in the future, that's for sure.

Got really low ranking with it

Fearless

I wanted to do Eowyn but I don't have blonde wigs sooo I looked up fearless female characters in movies. Ripley from Alien was my first choice but I don't have a hair for her either. So Katniss Everdeen was my final pick. Still just heavily inspired, I don't think she's recognizable. The mockingjay outfit was the inspo. This was the most threatening outfit for Taki so that's what she got.

Got really low ranking with it

Black cauldron

I got bored from the fantasy clothes so a modern day witch was my goal here. Not much to say about it.

Got low ranking with it

Broken

I guess a lot of people will go into this direction but I also made a broken doll. I didn't like using so much items from the same pack though:/ Tried to go in a different direction with the new doll dress and a shared item vampire bank outfit skirt. I didn't like it for this theme, but maybe for a future one it can work? Well, if someone shares the skirt again of course. So yeah, I sticked with the original idea.

Got low ranking with it

Spellbound

A witch, again? Of some sort. All white because it's pretty shiny and you can't take your eyes off of it or something. A lot is happening here, I feel bad for putting not just the cauldron but even the sparkles?? I hate how every winner uses it for literally no reason so I usually avoid it (I don't have to, I just don't feel the need to use it most of the time) but sometimes it just fits my vision.

Got low ranking with it

Forgotten tomb

I, again, made this with my friend and mostly put everything on she liked. We went for a rich dead, she said it's lowkey giving Egyiptian vibe, but idunno. We went to vote afterwards and we did see an AMAZING mummy, superliked it. I don't know who you are but I hope hope hope you'll get on the podium. It's a shame I have to vote for the same shitty butterfly outfit 10 times in a row but these treasures only come up once, twice if lucky:/

Got low ranking with it

Wear your heart on your sleeve

Well we say it as like "what's on their heart is on their mouth" and it's always the brutally honest people. So I didn't do a cutesy outfit, honesty can often be hard to face. That's why I made a more rebellious outfit/character.

Got low ranking with it

This is me

The iconic The greatest showman music 😩 no but I wanted to do Golden Freddy from fnaf bc I thought it would be great as they always say "it's me". But I barely have a few yellow stuff so no, that did not work out. Also I can make myself, but wasn't sure so went to vote to take a look what others did. I saw people (probably) making themselves, so I did too. Well, tried. I didn't base my candy off of me, so the items I have are not exactly the wardrobe I have. Still tried and did a decent job. Also tried to recreate my room the best as I could. (Yes I dress very dark but my fav colors are actually red & pink 😔)

Got low ranking with it (didn't know I was playing with magical girls that attract butterflies!)

Obsidian guard

The obsidian guard's colors are like grey (silver), orange, yellow, red, brown... stuff like that? I don't really have grey stuff so I used white. Idk how fantasy looking it is, I don't think it's that bad.

Got low ranking with it

Laziness

The thought process was simply a cold, lazy weekend when you just play games, watch movies and drink coffee all day.

Got low ranking with it

Pilot

Well the flying high pack really just speaks for itself. Still, tried to use/implement items from different packs as well.

Got well ranked with top 16%

Plush

White & pink stuff, preferably softer looking ones. Not proud of the unnecesary sparkles but I really need like 10 gems asap so I'm willing to give up my pride for a few days😩

Got low ranking with it (sold my soul for nothing😔)

Moon warrior

Basic ass fantasy clothes in white because atp I'm beginning to not care that much lmaoo

Got well ranked with top 8% (I actually did it with this ugly ass outfit! But I still need 5 gems to go😔)

Clown

Now we did a clown already but it was a spooky clown. This one is a normal clown which isn't supposed to be spooky. I would be proud, if not for the fucking sparkles, which is a funny thing to say since I was the one who put it there; but you see, I am so desperately in need for 10 bloody gems I'm willing to do almost anything. Of course, I know damn well I will not receive those, so deep down I have no idea why do I even bother ruining my outfits with them. Maybe I should put 5 items in my candy's hand and that'll do the trick. But I'm not that desperate yet. Maybe tomorrow I will be.

Got really low ranking with it (bruhhhh😭)

Casino

Looked up casino outfits and just did something similar to what I got. It's neat imo, although I'm still trying with those damned ugly ass sparkles. I can stop soon because I'm starting to see there's no way in hell I can get those 10 bloody gems before the new episode comes out.

Got well ranked with top 30%

Anger

Red & black for obvious reasons. Now that I have some new stuff from the halloween event I can't let go of them. Put the doll thingy on there because like- "controlled by anger" yk? Maybe it's a reach and it was a stupid idea.

Got well ranked with top 25%

Gluttony

I think we already had this theme? Or something similar. Anyway went for the candy look again. Can't say I'm proud because there's too much going on. BUT I'm free from the sparkle hell. The cauldron shows that there's something cooking in there.

Got well ranked with top 22% (why do my shittiest outfits get well ranked)

Back to school

Okay I had the must fun with this since a long time ago! No "color codes" just a cute school oriented outfit. I'm happy with how it turned out!

Got low ranking with it

Greed

Oh my god I spent so much time on this. First I put all jewelries on the character, THEN the clothes. There's 4 bags on her because that's the greediest shit ever lmao. So so so much going on, I think it fits this theme (kind of a nod to those who always have a billion different accessories on their entries). But also what's up with the seven deadly sins themes lately? It would be so fucking funny is someone dressed up as a bee

Got well ranked with top 8% (oh my god💀💀 it's the cringiest thing ever to get well ranked with a shit like this, I feel like the people who make these unironically – on the same note, sad to see the trump cosplay so below)

Sepia memory

I have to admit I had to look it up. Sad thing is, I don't really have brown stuff either, but tried to make the best of what I have. The lore is a nice little vacation on the beach, that's all.

Got low ranking with it

Hollywood star

I'm not into celebrity shit so I thought about fictional characters. First was Maxine Minx, but I don't have blonde wigs. Then I realized I welcomed The substance amongst my favourite movies and decided to make Elizabeth Sparkle - for Sue I think I'd need the plastic life pack. The spiky wit (is that the name?) background would've been PERFECT but I don't have that either:/ I think I'll get really low ranking with it but I hope some people will recognize her at least.

Got really low ranking with it (still worth it😩)

Light guard

White because light and buh I am so tired of fantasy themes I'm doing the same ones over and over again and the same people win with the same dresses over and over again LET ME DRESS UP AS A LAWYER DAMN IT (I'm losing it)

Got well ranked with 10th place (🤦‍♀️ pls beemoov hurry up with that voting system fix, I can't do it anymore)

The sixth sense

I call it, the magical girl with the magical flying book will win. I tried to do more of a ghost hunter if that makes sense. The movie Loraine Warren was the inspo. Ugly ass sparkles because let's pretend those are orbs.

Got really low ranking with it (who whould've thought😬)

Envy

Ugh stop with the seven deadly sins I hate them😭 the fantasy clothes fairy butterfly girls always win anyway, it's no funnn. Also fucking yellow as yellow from jealousy. I hate yellow. Okay anyway, it's sort of like an evil queen from Snow White but with a modern touch?

Got low ranking with it

Pyjama party

These are the themes I like!!! So although I can't really say much about it, I enjoyed doing it!

Got well ranked with top 25%

Banished knight

Back at the fantasy themes again. Did a knight that's on her way in the wild, just wandering and hanging around.

Got low ranking with it

Nature walk

I like this theme too. The ones that can be easily done with "modern clothes" are the best imo. I'm not f2p, but I think themes that can be done with the free clothes too are the best. October as a whole was a nightmare, I pretty much started to heavily dislike fantasy themes because of that. And I'm saying it as a person who HAS fantasy clothes. Themes like this actually give a slightly more chance for f2p to get higher rankings. I am so so so tired of the same people winning with the same outfits. I wouldn't mind those people winning, if they didn't just copy & paste their entries in different colors every single time. It's so predictable at this point.

Got low ranking with it

Sleeping beauty

I don't really have pink stuff but I do have a lot of white, so that's what I used. Also this is the only blonde wig I have but I think it fits well.

Got well ranked with top 12%

Bling bling

I had 0 idea what bling bling meant so I looked it up, google said it's stylish clothes & flashy jewelries, pinterest gave me very different variations. I saw quite a lot of early 2000s vibes so with the room I went in that direction, for the clothes, I don't know. Tried to do stylish with expensive jewelries but idk if I nailed it or not? I don't have sparkly clothes so. Honestly no idea if I did good or not.

Got low ranking with it

Furballs

I know people call animals like this but I don't have the animal ear/tail, so I searched furball outfits and it gave that typical fur outfit americans think slavic women usually wear. So I went in that direction.

Got low ranking with it

Thank you for reading and/or looking through my creations!

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina!! i hope youre doing okay! i would love a life update. i was also wondering who you think initiates more, jerseykyle or ravenstan? and thats for everything. like kisses, cuddles, and sbst 🤭

eeeee! allo, moya nonneshka! c': <3 xxxx

but before i tornado-type myself into a tizzy and lose my train of thot: thank you so SO much for checking on me, babycakes! :) MWAH!!!

like ( i'm soz ), but the fact that, oof...has it been Several Weeks Now? ( yikes! execute-ive dysfuncle nina strikes again! :/ ) where day in and day out, the only thing i've been servin y'all up is...a big, heapin bowl of: 'go on girl! Give Us NOTHING!,' -- and you were Still willing to take time out of your busy irlife to worry about mine?! tldr; Angel Behavior! heaven wants you back btw, but that's too bad; i'm keeping you. <3

also tysm for the rest of your v precious message as well, lovie~ your... press(h)age? oop...that is,, horrifYINg? ok, what about: thank for your...messcious? ur preshmesh! ya mesh, presh! ...your blessage? you know like *marj vc* your...blessed mess? ( can we tell that i spend too much gd time assisting k-garten and trying to say things like:

'wooooah there, girlpool! no need to get atatudie w/ me, jude-ring! i mean, gee, if i didn't know any better...i'd say it sounds like someone caught...A BAAAD Vibe! uh oh! cowabummer, dude! but thats ok! just be sure to grab a tissue and blow ur nose bc i didnt achoochooocaChoose the rules; i just enforce 'em, booboo kitty!' <3

kssds like...can you tell my skull tell is gettin so soft that you'll prolly be able to stick a straw thru it soon? ( can't lie tho, bbkit is my fav like *me but over it* alr! no cryin in baseball, booboo kitty! Game Time! )

but anyways! onto my life update ( ft. how i've doing for the past few weeks ) which, when i tell y'all i have been waiting for a slow-ment to come along so i can just...catch my breath and catch up, but its been

...A MESS.

sigh.

( alright, fair warning, i HAVE TO ANSWER YOU CANON HC QUES IN ANOTHER ASK BUT I KNOW THE ANSWER!!!! so i will get it done asap, my friend, but i have to seperate them...so this is just nina talks abt skool and how she's been doin...ravesey can go in diff ask. )

but anyways, in essence; i'm busy pretty much every day from 5am in the morning when i am up until probably 4-5pm everyday depending on what prep i have to work out with my lead teacher ( who is a very sweet mid forties early fifty y/old lady who always makes sure i eat breakfast ), as well as getting to and from my job site particularly towards the end of the day...which is not easy when ur a lame, boof, no driving ass bitch like me.

( which, i know talk a lot of shit on myself about it...but oddly enough; i am proud of myself for knowing my limits, valuing my comfort and being the ceo of the bus and slaying on public transport. xx )

but all this to say, i love my job! my lead teacher ( aka educ major slang for the teacher who's class you assist in ) is literally such a nice lady and she has been teaching me so much! i was having a little difficulty getting in the groove because the summer camp kinders aka the children actually taking kindergarten in the fall are pre-kinder basically so they're like...t-k or preschool, almost? which....ooooough.

( i must confess ) i have a age/limit with teaching.

and it's having to do bathroom/mommy anything.

like i’m…ur aunt/unc, your older sister, mom's sbf, but i am noooooot your mom, lol! i am not super maternal. like there was a little girl who on week one was askin for mommy ( which was already driving me NUTS ) but on week three was still doing it and crying i was like...

*me on the playground vc* hEY BATTA BATTA SWING BATTA!!! YOU WANNA GO HOME BB? ME TOO GIRL! YKNOW WHAT? IF U HIT A HOME RUN RN AND YOU CAN GO HOME OTHERWISE! nO CRYIN IN BASEBALL BOOBOO!KITTYGIRL!! STAND UP SOLDIER!!

...but yeah, idk. kindergarten/pre-k has been fun, but i'm more of an older sister-adjacent type teacher who likes to wear crazy outfits, draw you pictures even if i pop a blood vessel in my eye drawing all night bc i think its nice when the kids get excited haha, if you talk while i'm talking, i really will pretend to get my stuff and leave like 'i'm sorry, i thought you were gonna teach the class!', wear all the stickers on my face...all of them especially the really big ones,

will tell u the picture u drew for me is so much better than the baloney pizza whatev that one blue ninja turtle painted, idk, and fall to my knees like ( bonus points if i have no idea what it is ), but if you give me attitude later about putting the toys away and taking your letters out, ill pretend to EAT the sticker i was gonna put on ur work.

( uncle nina stop being a CLOWN, i cannot stop, like omfg so the other day...a TINY five old girl's jacket was brought in for this girl in my class....and tell me why i said! Oh Sorry! That's Mine! ;) AND PRETENDED TO PUT IT ON AND MODEL IT???? HEEELP. my KIDS were dYING!!! my lead teacher was lafffffin, skds. that jacketless little girl was like >:( miss nina thats My Jacket! and i was like, you know what, baby! you are so right...Mine Is Smaller. <3 KLHSLKHKLDSD )

i...did not always use to be like this. i used to be a mousy, nervous gal, who let the sweet, lovely, very loud children walk all over me...BUT! i've been around the block! aka! i've have a block thrown at my head! AND A STAPLER!!!!!! ( that was my favorite kid btw, thx, stink! )

but yeah, a soft-spoken queen in my class asked me if you just 'stop feeling anxious when you're an adult' and i was like N! O! baby! it doesn't get easier when your an adult, but in order to teach you guys things, i have to be brave enough to talk to you and try my hardest! i still get super nervous talking to new people, i get nervous when i think i put my sock on wrong...but that doesn't mean, we should give up! i think you should go right up to a new friend and tell them hi, my name is Blank and my sock feels funny. do u wanna look at it. BOOM.

but also just because...ah, jeez. very cute, the children are...but the nina i was two years ago would be picking kids markers off the floor, packing my kids backups up for them, carrying their things...no, girl. they know better than that. like i specifically have a little girl, who istg, is very stan coded because she wants to do the right thing, but she's a really bad listener, i have to tell her stuff like 749374093 times,

wants me to help her with everything because she's nervous she's gonna mess up ( which, baby i love u but i can't print every letter for you ) and wears impractical things to school, ( which i feel like stan would do...like take 749374930 light up toys and weird pens ) so you know i gotta give her the little 'girl, you can do; i believe in you' and then come back when she's done and go oKAAaY mAdaME??! MISS INDEPENDENT OVER HERE GETS TWO STICKERS FROM ME!!!!!

and conversely, we got kyle coded kids, like, i had a little girl ( my class has had a lotta girls rotate into it idk ) who was smarter than god, but my gooooodness, THAT LITTLE GIRL TRIED IT EVERYDAY! ( she’s a ken n cart too ) i popped my eye blood vessel for that lil lady! bc she RUSHED ME! but no, she was a smart cookie, so she knew that so she used to give to try and cut deals with me, or put stuff on other kids tables or whiiiine and baby, i might have been born at night but...

NOT YESTERDAY NIGHT!

she is going to dismantle whatever kindergarten class she gets put into...best of luck. she is probably going to be our president someday. her vocabulary was bigger than mine. sending light out to that girl.

but okay, i have to end this soon but...i am doing a lot! we have a different theme in my class every week: last week was dinosaurs! we did safari animals, bugs, deep sea creatures, next week....*sigh*

Is Sports. ( y....ay! )

so if i am not around...I AM PROBABLY TIRED! like i didn't want to get into it too much bc it's a lot but the week that i lead teach, like...i did not sleep for two days...i was very sick, it was very, very bad. which is not to say that's gonna happen again but...it's like, i want to post and i want to be present, but when i throw all my energy out there to the little people, i come home spent most of the time...so it's hard to get my fingers to crawl across the computer to do an ask meme or be present when i should rly cook dinner or do some dishes, yknow?

all this to SAY...i am here, but i am...There. i also took such a long break from writing, i am a little scared that i don't know...how to anymore? aaaaa??? but i think i should probably sit down and write ONE THING ONLY ( so if u have one thing u really wanna see hmu ),

i'll probably pop in to do updates every so often, maybe an hc ask a bigger ask if i finish it, but i am busy again starting monday. i will try to keep giving u an rm fun fact if i can remember, but please know, i would love to be here and i wish i could write more...but it's a lot all at once...also? i really did enjoy my break. <3 always take breaks. if i am not around, i promise i am okay! i am probably just being teacher nina, trying to better my life or i am a little tired and need a second.

either way don't be a stranger, and send me stuff any time! i am going to try and go back to answering stuff that's in there again.

-uncle teacher nina, ceo of boo boo kitty...

...girls, boys and children....

Everywhere.

p.s. i hope this wasn't too much info, haha! i hope it was fun its nice to be able to tell you guys about parts of my life! if you ever want pictures or have questions, as long as they aren't too invasive, specifically bc of my student's safety, i will answer em! <3

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S3 E15-17

Another bad pain day. I watched these three earlier while I curled up and probably would have watched one more but that seemed like a heavy Bashir/Garak episode so I stopped to give me proper energy/time to squee later. That said, I'll do my best to recap how I felt but I might miss a thing or two cause I'm still very much suffering lol

E15 - Destiny

I really appreciate how Sisko handled this one. I'm very much not okay with a lot of religious messages in my media because of the trauma I faced as a kid so some things are definitely hard to swallow but so far its been only skirting the line of intolerable. What I appreciate about this one, though, was that Sisko decided prophecy or not, he was going to do his job to the best of his ability.

He wasn't about to risk the lives of everyone but he also wasn't going to listen to an ancient text that could have been made up let alone translated poorly. And honestly, having it be the second option, where the Cardassian's (minus the Obsidian Order sabotage) aren't the bad guys was a great narrative choice.

I'm a little icked by Kira's kind of worship over Sisko but I'm hoping that doesn't stick, or at least isn't a big thing.

Miles and the Cardassian scientist having a bit of thing was cute and while I know he's married, I definitely headcanon the whole crew as one big polyam fam and so I'd ship it. lol

Overall, great episode

7/10

E16 - Prophet Motive

I was kinda bored with this one. I'm not really a fan of the Ferengi as a whole, the Nagus more so than others, so that's probably why. It was fun to watch Quark run around trying to solve this weird mystery as to what came over the Nagus and it was interesting to learn that the Ferengi weren't always a greedy species, but over all it was just a middling episode.

5/10

E17 - Visionary

I enjoyed this episode but I had some head scratching moments about the time travel bits and how one Miles could know things that the other didn't even though they were meant to follow the same time line. In the end I mostly just let myself sit back and enjoy what I could without trying to think too hard, even though I couldn't completely stop it lol

I wasn't surprised it was the Romulans at fault, as much as their my favorite antagonists in most Star Trek series (SNW and Lower Decks are their own beautiful beasts), they are very much a "actions before answers" kinda people.

I think my favorite part of this one was when Odo told Sisko about his investigation in detail to remind him of just how good he was. Also that Odo "always thinks of Quark", his words lol

I adored Miles for willing to put his life on the line for thousands of others. He's very much a "needs of the many" kinda guy and he's shown it several times but each time he volunteers without hesitation. I think its one of the reasons why I like him so much. That and he feels like one of the few truly grounded people on the crew, on that believes in Starfleet but knows that there are flaws in every system, not matter who runs it.

I'm curious, though, if the Miles that returned at the end of the episode will have more 'out of place' feelings and what that might mean for it. It's gotta be fucked up to watch yourself die like that.

7/10