#i would need to look at its whole body to know what it is

[moonlight-prose]

a request, if i may, of praising old man logan as he filfthly eats you out and it makes him combust the more you praise him? okay running away again

speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life

a/n: look at him taking off his glasses in absolute shock of this ask- no okay does old man logan have a praise kink? i would raise it higher and say every version of logan has a massive praise kink. this is a man who wants to know he's doing good in life. his love language is acts of service so he might get to hear a pretty thank you. also i'm not sorry for how feral this got. i have no explanation.

summary: he knew he loved you when your words begin to piece his heart back together. he knew he loved you when he flourishes at your praise. he knew he loved you when nothing in this world could matter but the sound of your voice telling him you love him too.

word count: 3k+

pairing: old man!logan x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, oral (f receiving), praise kink, logan is obsessed, dirty talk via reader, he is so pretty when he blushes, manhandling, cumplay, cumeating, overstimulation, crying, he's needy in this one, angst, tortured soul of an old man, reverence, religious trauma + greek mythology hints.

He can feel the strings of fate pull tight around his broken heart. In a failed attempt to draw him back together. To piece together an organ that barely beat for him anymore. He might have felt it once, before it broke. Before it gnarled itself like the branches of a dying tree, one half twisting away from the other in a desperate attempt of survival.

He deemed it a useless part of his body until you came along. You with your smile that held enough cloying sweetness to choke him as he stood helpless. Silently begging for you to say his name. To bring him back to life.

Whatever horrors that plagued his mind—endless nightmares that promised nothing but anguish—suddenly came crashing to a halt at the sight of you. So pretty in your denim jeans and velvet top. An angel seated in the center of a bar that held more filth than you deserved to be near. Logan couldn’t fathom that luck struck him this hard.

Not when death had already claimed his soul; notched yet another tally in the endless wall of people that came before.

He felt the dirt pack under his nails as he clawed his way out of the grave he put himself in. Years spent alone—a man lost to the ravages of time—had turned him bitter. With rough edges and biting words that stung far more than he intended. How could he believe he deserved to live after he contributed so much to the endless pool of blood that tainted his soul? How was he allowed such softness after biting off bits of brutality his whole life?

Logan was pretty sure he survived on borrowed time that had already run out. He could feel death breathe down his neck as the days went on. A reminder that what little of his life remained would be spent suffering. And he found that accepting it was easier than battling against the will of God, or whoever toyed with his lifeline.

It was far easier to die than find a reason to live.

Until you said his name.

Softly. Sweetly. Reverence wrapped in a tight grasp of need.

You brought him back from the edge—took his hand and refused to take no for an answer. You and the safety of your touch; the promise in your kiss. You dragged him into a life he didn’t earn; one that almost tasted too sweet—too sour.

After near a decade of being buried beneath the dirt, he felt himself collapse above ground and suck in his first real gasp of fresh air. Alive, once more. Hell spit him out with a vow of love and who was he to argue against it.

His fingers dug into your plush thighs, tugging them open to see what lay between. He marveled at their softness, eyes wide and awestruck at the sight of you spread beneath him. You practically glowed in the dim light of the bedside table. Yellow, musty, yet angelic when it caressed your body with its heavenly touch.

He wondered if this was real life; your nails digging sharply into his shoulders gave him the answer.

"Logan," you sighed, voice high with need.

The strings pulled taught. A vice like hold that drew him to you.

Maybe that's what this unutterable feeling was. The gnawing pit at the bottom of his heart. A greed he'd never indulged before—too afraid of what it might ask for next. He wasn't a man who asked for much. Rather someone that found himself far too content with nothing. But tonight he found his lips forming the words of a false prayer that his mother taught him as a child.

Hail the angel in his bed. Hail every good fucking thing you brought into his life.

His teeth sunk into your thigh, body jolting at your responding moan. Fingers dug into his hair, tugging at the mussed locks with a high pitched whine. You were a needy little thing, but Logan found he desperately wanted to be needed.

He smiled laving his tongue over the tender spot, working his way up to where you dripped for him.

So slick. So perfect.

Saliva filled his mouth. "What do ya want baby?"

Your chest heaved; he could feel the heat of your body under his palms. "Your m-mouth Logan."

His eyes trailed along your brow covered in a sheen of sweat. The room was thick with the humid air of the outside world. But that didn't deter him from craving your skin near his. The pressure of your thighs around his head a welcome weight. If he sunk his teeth in where the curve of your leg met your hip he knew he could draw out that soft choking noise he longed to hear on days spent driving alone.

If he had his way he'd crawl into you to seek your serenity straight from the source. He'd never divulge about the ache that chewed him up on the inside, but Logan wondered if you knew. Could you tell how much he craved you? How much he couldn't live without you.

When your glittering eyes met his, the resolve he spent years building cracked like glass. You peered into him as if he was a stained glass window. A god you were more than happy to worship.

"You want me to lick this pretty pussy?" Fuck, he sounded drunk off your taste already.

His mouth hovered over your throbbing clit, your scent now filling his senses. Overwhelming him with what he wanted most. But he needed to hear it. The lilt of your begging; the soft echo of your need that washed over him like soothing river water.

He couldn't live without it.

"Yes," you sobbed, thigh twitching.

The string sliced his heart open, blood pooling onto the white bed sheets. Oh what a sweet death your love made. Oh...what a bittersweet way to go.

He'd die right now if you asked him to. Hand over his heart on a silver platter if you so wished it. Maybe that made him far too gone for his own good, but Logan couldn't remember a time in his life where he got this. Safety. The hope of love burning far too bright and far too hot for him to fly near it.

Yet there he was. Icarus happily soaring in your sun like glow.

"I got ya honey," he murmured. "Gonna take care of what's mine."

You nodded frantically—tears welling up in your eyes. "You take care of me Logan."

The breath in his chest stuttered, eyes dark as the words fell past your swollen lips. He wanted to explain why his cock twitched against his stomach. Why he now leaked into the sheet with heavy panted breaths. But every time he came up short with the words needed to form an answer.

"Yeah I do sweetheart," he breathed. "Don't I?"

"Uh-huh."

"Take care of what belongs to me."

There was no warning when his hands dragged you closer with a rough tug, mouth closing over your clit with a desperate suck. A cry wrenched from your mouth, sparks sharply traveling down your spine. He licked through your slick with a growl. Hands an unbreakable press against your thighs.

The sight of your body bowed, mouth open for small gasped breaths that never came, snapped something in his mind. He was an old man. Well past his years. But the taste of your pussy along his tongue brought back a ferocity he often tamped down in his younger age. He felt the feral want claw at his chest, and answered it with a broken snarl.

Swallowing down every drop you gave him, he plunged his tongue into your entrance, thrusting messily until a smear of your shiny slick began to coat his mouth. It covered his cheeks and clung to the hair of his beard. He'd clean it out later, taste you on his tongue until he was aching for another go. But for now he was preoccupied with the way you cried for him.

"Oh fuck!" Your thighs trembled over his shoulders, hips canting down to drag yourself along his tongue. "So good."

He shuddered, eyes rolling back at the sound of your praise. You caught it within seconds, lips pulling into a breathless smile that left him gasping for air. His teeth nipped at your thigh briefly as his hips ground into the mattress below.

"You like that baby?" you breathed, thumb smearing your own slick against his cheek.

Something hot washed over his body. A needy sick and twisted ache that he'd never indulged in before. He wanted to be a good man to you; longed to be needed. And fuck if you didn't give him everything.

You were his walking wet dream. His future handed off and wrapped in a neat little bow.

"L-Love your tongue Logan-" A high gasp tore from your throat when he dived back in. Slurping at your clit with a heady moan as you dragged him closer. "Taking care of me so well."

His hips canted down into the bed, fucking his cock along the warmth of his stomach, as you gushed into his mouth again. Eyes zeroed in on your face, pupils dilated as he growled into your flesh. You no longer could see the man you loved, but the feral side he tamped down during the day. The animal he longed to release in your presence.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum."

His arms looped around your thighs and with a sharp yank, he had his face buried deep enough to suffocate himself. You sobbed an incoherent version of his name. Nails clawed at his shoulders, but Logan could feel the pulse of your clit under his tongue.

He sucked it into his mouth with a grunt, rolling it along his tongue as you trembled with the oncoming shocks of an orgasm that threatened to destroy you.

Tears dripped down your cheeks and Logan felt the satisfying part of his heart begin to stitch itself back together. The strings were tight enough to numb his pain. To quell the flare of agony.

That used to be all he knew, all he counted on most days. When there was nothing left and he'd propped the shovel in the dirt—his grave open and waiting—he stumbled right into your arms. He found his reason for living.

Heat curled around his spine as you shook with the impending orgasm—the stimulation on your clit practically debilitating. He grunted into your soaked flesh, eyes narrowed as he chased the release that pulled his stomach taut. But this wasn't for him to indulge in; this wasn't his pleasure.

So with a throaty moan you felt reverberate along your body, he scraped his teeth along your clit and watched as your body went stiff.

"Logan!" you cried, fingers scrambling for purchase on any part of him you could reach.

You gushed into his awaiting mouth, praises of it's so good, you're so good falling upon his ears like the whimpered prayers of a devout worshiper thanking your god.

"Taste so fuckin' good," he mumbled, drunk on what you gave him.

He didn't care that you were jolting with each pass of his tongue along your pussy. He didn't care that you were shocked with overstimulation, small broken cries of his name muffled by the press of your thighs against his ears. He licked at you until he couldn't breathe. Buried his tongue into your twitching entrance and sucked out your cum with a happy hum.

"P-Please." You tugged at his hair, pulling him off you with a sob. "I-I can't anymore Logan."

"'M not fuckin' finished," he said, eyes glazed and face coated in your slick.

You made a mess of his face. The light catching along where you spilled into his mouth and along his throat. And still he wanted more. He'd spend hours between your thighs, burning your skin with his beard, if it meant he could divulge in your sweetness.

"It hurts-"

A grunt rumbled in his chest, his arms tugging you back even as your feet kicked along his back. "Just one more honey. Yeah?"

You shook your head. "B-But-"

"Thought you said it was good."

"It is."

"Then lemme be good for you." He wanted to tell you that the world went quiet between your thighs. That all his grief, all his pain, lessened when you sobbed his name.

He wanted to show you the string that looped his heart to yours—the only thing keeping him alive—and thank you for bringing him back from the dead. But words weren't his forte. Violence had become the only tenderness he knew and you didn't deserve the rough edges of an old man. You should have more.

But when you let him touch you like this—caress your skin and lick between your folds—he felt as if he was a man who finally was worthy of someone as precious as you. He could pretend he didn't bear the brunt of a fucked up soul.

The weight on his chest lifted when your tear filled gaze met his and you nodded. Small, barely there, but it was enough for him to seal his mouth back over you with a ragged moan. Your body shook as his tongue slid through the seam of your pussy. The tip nudging against your clit—careful to draw the pleasure from your body slowly.

He didn't want to give you pain. His heart wouldn't survive that. But he was a broken man; someone who begged for more even as his teeth sunk into what was already given.

You were his meal. His sacrament in the midnight hours until dawn broke across the darkened sky. You were the other half of his soul.

How could he not indulge in your sweetened tang until his tongue went stiff?

"I love you," you sighed, eyes rolled back when he sucked at your pussy, a wet low moan echoing in the air. "My p-perfect husband."

The cold press of his wedding band against your thigh drove him over the edge. You weren't officially married. Didn't have the backyard wedding with a preacher to match. But Logan had placed a ring on your finger near a year ago, sliding one over his own with the vow of forever cemented in his words.

Even if that didn't mean much in the eyes of a god who abandoned him near a century ago.

"Oh-"

Your head tipped back, mouth dropping open as his fingers dipped into your wet heat. Thrusting lazily until he found the spongey patch along your walls—driving the pad of his middle finger into it with a needy moan.

He knew it wouldn't take long for you to fly off the edge of a second release. That didn't make watching you climb to that peak any less satisfying. The sight appeased his soul. It gave him a chance to breathe; let him know that after so much bad—after so much pain—he could do something good. He could bring you to the edge of pleasure and drag you over again and again.

He could finally be the man you believed he was.

Not the animal they created.

"C'mon," he muttered. Eyes fixed on the shape of your breasts as your body curved off the bed. Hips dragging along his face with a stunted cry.

A wail bounced off the walls, piercing his eardrums with the symphony of your cries. His fingers rapidly pumped into you with a squelch that had heat burning his cheeks—lips pulling your throbbing clit into his mouth as you broke. The climax slammed into you; battering your already swollen pussy.

Logan could feel his cock swell at the sight.

"Fuckin' perfect," he grunted, teeth bared as he clambered to his knees and wrapped his fist soaked in your slick around his leaking cock. "'M gonna cum sweetheart."

Your eyes fluttered open, fingers digging into his thigh. "Please. Wanna see it baby. Look so pretty when you cum Logan."

His chest tightened, body shaking while you watched in rapture as he fucked his fist rapidly. He wouldn't fucking last, could feel the burning consume his body, but something held him back. The string around his heart yanked him away from the edge, tearing a cry from his throat when his frustration peaked.

You could see it—the glimmer of need in his dark eyes. This wasn't the first time he longed for your words. It certainly wouldn't be the last.

So you spread your legs and sat up slowly—arms wrapping around his shoulders to bring his lips down to yours. A soft moan was muffled by your mouth; the peak of his release within reach. He could practically feel the tips of his fingers graze it.

"Cover my pussy baby," you mumbled into his mouth. "Be good for me and mark what's yours."

The growl came from the very bottom of his chest when he finally came. Your name was a bitten out snarl pressed to your mouth in an open mouth kiss as he spurted over his knuckles. He pumped his cock to milk every drop; eyes fixed on the way it covered the swollen lips of your pussy. Dripping down to your entrance that fluttered at the sight of his sweaty and crimson tinged face.

"I fuckin' love ya honey," he murmured, hand cupping your chin to drag your lips back to his. "Best thing that's happened in my life is you."

You smiled, thumbs pressing to his cheeks. "Love you too Logan."

Clutching you close, he felt the string go loose. The breath finally rushing back into his lungs at the sight of your eyes glowing with the kind of light that brought him back to the first day The night he met you in that shitty bar—alcohol the only thing on his mind until he saw you.

The night you spoke his name over his covered grave and dragged him back to life with a smile.

[rebelfell]

rub one out┃(for your viewing pleasure-verse)

pornstar!eddie x director!reader

a cheeky (pun intended) bit of filth based on part of my blurb series. I was trying to keep the snippets short, but this just kinda poured out of me over the past couple days.

cw: sex work, simulated adultery, oral (fem receiving)

18+, MDNI┃2.8k

Maybe this was a bad idea.

You couldn’t escape the nagging thought as you stepped outside, tightening the belt on your fluffy white bathrobe, tugging at the terrycloth tail and twisting it in your fingers. Your eyes flitted to each member of your crew, all of them in position waiting to get this show on the road.

Why were you so nervous? You’d certainly done this enough times before not to get stage fright. So why did your stomach feel more tangled than the box of electrical cords in Lenny’s truck?

Part of you almost wished it would rain, or the ground would open up and swallow you whole so you didn’t have to go through with this. But the concrete remained solid under your feet, and the sky overhead showed no signs of altering its radiant blue color. Perfect.

It’s gonna be fine, you thought in an attempt to soothe yourself. It’s all gonna be fine.

And you almost believed it would be.

Sammy, who was barely a step up from an intern, had swiftly been promoted once the plan for you to replace your no-show leading lady was set in motion. You weren’t worried about her, though—she was smart and a quick study; she knew all the shots you needed, and she had a good eye.

If you couldn’t be behind the camera yourself, she was pretty much the only one you trusted.

Well…maybe not the only one.

Eddie’s eyes met yours as soon as you stepped out of the trailer. The sunlight hit his deep brown irises, making them glow the color of rich honey. But behind the liquid gold, you could see his own nerves and it made your stomach flip, wondering what he could possibly be nervous about.

“Hey,” he said quietly as he came up next to you. “You good?”

For a moment, you considered lying. Flashing him a thumbs up or shooting him finger guns like one of those tools you used to do this with. But you knew better by now when it came to Eddie.

“Nope,” you chuckled. “I’m kinda shitting myself.”

“Well, that’s just what the guy about to fuck you wants to hear,” he chuckled back.

A real smile breaks through your tense, fake one and a genuine laugh bubbles up out of your chest. Eddie’s eyes shine when he hears it and the sight makes your chest feel all warm inside.

“No, you’re right,” you said. “I’m okay, I just…don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

His plush pink lips pressed into a straight line, his tongue poking out as he licked them. He reached out a reassuring hand and placed it on your shoulder, rubbing it through your robe.

“You’re gonna be great,” he assured, sounding a lot more certain than you felt.

Easy for him to say. He’s a fucking natural.

Even on your best day doing this, you never felt like you were great at it—competent, sure. Maybe even above average. But not great. Not at all the way you felt since getting behind the camera.

You nodded tightly, your hesitation still written all over your face. His eyes scanned over you and he swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing. He then leaned in and placed his lips beside your ear.

“You look…really beautiful,” he said.

His warm breath rushed across your neck, the heat coming off his skin making your ears buzz. An explosion of fluttering began in your stomach, like there were butterfly cocoons in your cereal that morning and now they were all hatching.

“We should get moving,” you said, pulling back. “Burning daylight.”

Eddie straightened. He nodded and you nodded back, sliding past him to do final checks before you started rolling. Telling yourself he must have pumped or popped a Viagra to explain away that bulge in his pants that definitely wasn’t there before he came over to talk to you.

The nerves didn’t disappear once you started working, but your body and brain did snap into a kind of performance mode you remembered well.

You started with some still photography for the VHS box art—shots of you in progressing states of undress, your robe dropping off your shoulder, Eddie pulling it open to reveal your body, his hand running up your thigh in a slow caress.

He let it trail all the way up your stomach and chest until he curled his finger under your chin and tipped your face toward his, letting his lips hover just inches away from yours. Your eyes fluttered closed and your heart raced, thinking he might close the gap and actually kiss you—

But after the shutter snapped, he simply let his hand drop and backed away. 

The loss of his body heat sent a chill down your spine and you shivered despite the blazing sun overhead. Eddie’s eyes caught yours, the nearly imperceptible lift of his brow asking, ‘you okay?’ You nodded and another shiver skittered across your skin as you pulled your robe back up.

For the next shot, you climbed up on the massage table and he got into position behind you. His body pressed yours down, your back arching under him as he dipped his head low to take the lobe of your ear between his teeth, palming your exposed breast with his large, strong hand. 

You let your mouth hang open, not even needing to fake the look of desperation on your face. And let yourself believe Eddie’s excitement you could feel digging into the fat of your ass was real too. The little grunts and whines he let out when you wriggled against him certainly didn’t sound fake.

After the photos, there was nothing left to do but move on to the main event. 

You and Eddie reset—him standing in frame, you just outside of it. Sammy panned the camera around, establishing the setting, zooming in on the fountain feature in the pool and then coming around to film Eddie as he snapped a fresh towel and laid it out on the massage table.

From your spot off-camera, it’s impossible not to be mesmerized by the sight. Biceps rippling, tendons in his arms flexing as he smoothed the towel flat. His tattoos stood out even more than normal with him in white slacks and a white polo meant to give the impression of him being an employee of the resort. And the little twist your hair and make-up girl Jael did is something new that only further accentuates the thick column of his neck and his angular jaw.

He’d left off his rings and bracelets, as was typical when he was filming, and you couldn’t help but think about that day in the editing suite. When he’d touched your knee, and you felt the silver ridges press into your flesh. It had jarred you somewhat, how right it felt to have his hand there and how you’d nearly leaned in to meet his lips when you saw his face getting closer.

You hadn’t kissed him that day—promptly removing yourself from temptation in an attempt to salvage some shred of your professionalism. And you (mostly) felt good about that decision. It would have been reckless and destructive and your entire working relationship might have been compromised. You’d made the right call that day, you were sure of it. Mostly…

But today was different. Today, it wasn’t going to derail your career. If anything, your career was mandating you give in to those urges that had plagued you so relentlessly. And that was when it hit you all at once—the realization about as subtle as a train crashing through a wall.

You were going to fuck Eddie.

You’re going to feel firsthand what it’s like to have his face and cock buried between your legs; what it’s like to suck on his fingers and soak them with your spit before he presses them to your clit; what he sounds like when he comes all over your stomach or tits (you can’t quite recall what the script specifies, you just know it’s meant to be outside so he can dotingly clean you up after). 

The barrage of thoughts that storm through your mind are so consuming, you nearly miss your cue to enter the scene. But once you do, you’re rather grateful for the distraction of the set-up dialogue:

“It’ll just be me, today. My husband has a meeting he couldn’t get out of.”

“No, no, it’s not his fault. I got it as a surprise for our anniversary—I should have known better than to book it without checking his schedule.”

“I’m afraid I never know how much to take off for a massage…what do you suggest?”

Eddie answered your last question with a smooth, “Whatever makes you most comfortable,” and a smile so warm it would melt the ice caps.

Giving him a smile of your own, you slowly pulled at the tie of your robe. It fell to the ground in a heap at your feet and Eddie’s dark eyes roved over you hungrily. Now revealed to be completely naked, you feigned some degree of shyness: ducking your head low, looking up at him from underneath your lashes, brushing your hand over your stomach as though to hide it while really drawing his eyes to its plush softness.

“Is this alright?” you asked him with a coy smirk. Eddie grinned, still drinking you in.

“Absolutely,” he breathed. And the raptness in his eyes almost had you believing him.

You took your time getting up on the table, propping yourself up on all fours, letting him (and the camera) take a good, long look at the fullness of your hips before you settled in place. Arms at your side, you took a deep breath as you laid flat on your stomach, relieved there wouldn’t be much dialogue needed for this next part.

Through the little donut headrest at the end of the table, you saw Sammy’s feet as she moved in close—filming tight on Eddie’s hands while he pumped massage oil onto them and warmed it by spreading it between his palms.

Your chest tightened, nerves coiling in your stomach as you anticipated his touch, forcing your body to keep still so you didn’t pull focus.

He smoothed some oil over your skin, starting at the ankles and thoroughly coating your calves. The smell of clary sage filled the air, earthy and warm. And underneath it, a clean and woodsy scent you recognized as Eddie’s soap wafted up to your nose when he leaned in closer.

His fingertips began to knead your muscles, slipping and sliding easily over your skin that was slick with the oil. He made tiny circles with his thumbs, alternating back and forth as they moved in a steady pattern up your calf.

Oh, that’s right…

In all the hubbub, you’d forgotten the whole concept for this shoot was borne on the fact that Eddie went to massage school for real. He’d told you before, after he left his hometown (shit, what was it again? Hawk-something…) that he started collecting different jobs like merit badges.

Just bounced from thing to thing, trying his hand (sometimes both) at whatever life presented. And that included porn. He’d said he only auditioned for that first film he did because someone he’d slept with a handful of times knew a casting director and suggested he’d be good at it.

“He certainly had the dick for it” were her exact words, if you recalled. Strange to think in a way, you might owe that girl your career.

Through the pleasurable haze your mind dipped into having Eddie’s capable hands erasing every ounce of stress you carried in your muscles, you realized he was moving the scene right along while you just lay there humming and moaning with relief at his practiced touch.

He’d lowered his voice to that deep, rumbly register he always used when he was building towards the next phase. His DM voice, as he so affectionately dubbed it. Rough and gravely, yet even and tempered, guiding both you and the audience along on the journey of this fuck.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying…but your husband’s a jackass for missings out on this.”

Your heartbeat picked up in your chest as he moved to your thighs. His fingertips dug into your flesh, kneading it like dough, letting his thumbs swerve dangerously close to your center.

“You deserve someone who puts you first…who knows what he has and worships you…”

One of his thumbs swiped briefly over your puffy lips, and you knew he felt how wet you were.

“You know, I’d never let you out of my sight if you were mine…”

His words dripped slowly and intentionally past his lips, his hands creeping higher and higher up your legs. At last, they slid over the globes of your ass and he groaned as he squeezed one in each hand, spreading you apart to see your center, soaked with arousal that had been pooling there, truth be told, from the moment Eddie had told you how beautiful you looked. 

You heard Eddie’s next line in your head before he said it, “If you really want to relax, I can try a very special technique. I don’t do it for just anyone. It’s a little bit…unorthodox…”

And you were more than ready to take him up on his offer once he delivered the line. 

But Eddie went off script.

Instead of hearing words, you felt the wet heat of his tongue glide through your folds as he buried his face between your spread ass cheeks. Your head popped out of the headrest, letting out a breathy moan of surprise and delight.

The shock on your face was evident as Sammy pushed in close to capture your expression, but so was your pure and utter elation. You’d never felt anything so good in your life…

And it seemed you weren’t the only one.

Eddie groaned loudly as he lapped messily at your folds, his spit mixing with your slick that covered the bottom half of his face. And it was only after a few blissful seconds of eager licking that he even realize what he’d done.

“I’m—mmph—sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—” He panted out in between sinful swirls of his tongue, his he words muffled by your ass cheeks because he couldn’t stand to pull away even a little, even long enough to speak. “I had to taste you…”

”It’s okay,” you answered, voice already wrecked beyond belief. “It’s okay, just keep going—”

The command is directed at him as much as it is the crew, who only panicked slightly. Eddie never did stuff like this and they just weren’t ready.

They got back on track quickly enough, Sammy signaling the boom mic to get as close as he can without dipping into frame in order to pick up every lurid slurp and suck of Eddie’s mouth.

After no more than a few minutes, the fluffy towel under you was bunched in your fists and your hips squirmed as Eddie continued to eat you out like a mad man. His tight grip on your ass cheeks held fast, spreading you wider still so his tongue could probe deeper. The sounds he pulled out of you didn’t even sound human to your ears, let alone recognizable as your own voice. 

But you didn’t care.

However you sounded, however you looked, it was superfluous to what Eddie was doing and the precipice he brought you to. Your orgasm hit harder than any drug, than any physical blow. It had you shaking uncontrollably, reaching back to grip the hair at the crown of his head as your hips pushed back to meet every thrust of his tongue while you rode out your exceptional high.

You felt its tingling sensation spread to every inconsequential inch of your body, like an ocean of fire that crashed over you in wave after wave of scorching pleasure. Drowning you in it.

When you finally found the strength in your limp limbs to roll over onto your back, Eddie’s eyes were waiting to meet yours. You could see on his face how sorry he was, how worried he was he’d fucked up. And you tried to communicate with him in that mind-melding, wordless sort of way you and he always did that it was fine—that people were going to love it.

Cocking your brow at him, dipping into a more salacious tone to really sell the transformation from demure housewife to lusty adulterer, you threw in a little adlib of your own.

“That’s some technique you’ve got there,” you teased him, propping yourself up on your elbows. “My husband’s certainly never done that before.”

Eddie’s sly smile returned, his lips curling as he reached out to grip your waist. He hauled you closer with one jerk, bringing you to the edge of the table so your hips were flush with his. The bulge in his white pants was harder than ever when it pressed against your cunt, and he grinned wickedly when he felt just how ready you were for more. He yanked up the shirttail of his polo and whipped it off his body, tossing it behind him where it landed half in the pool.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he tutted softly, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Tysm for reading! 🛸 comments and reblogs keep your skin clear and your crops watered 🫶🏻

[mustainegf]

This is a crazy sad idea I had the other night

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ¹⁹⁸⁷

I wake up to the pitter of rain against the windows. The air was dead, with the smell of old wood and the remains of cigarette smoke from the night before. The house held its breath. Lying there, in sheets that smell of memories, the leather and aftershave smell with the damp air and cleaving to everything in this room. His room.

James has left his space this way ever since, the mess of records that he insists have some sort of order, utter chaos to anyone else. Guitars leaned against the wall, scattered papers on the desk. Hard to tell, really. A few half empty beer bottles remained on the nightstand, one of them with the label peeling off where his fingers had unconsciously picked at it.

I sit up and blink away fogginess in my head. My body is heavy, I'm trying to move underwater. Really, I don't want to get up. I want to be wrapped in the warmth of this room, in the memories that lean against me from every corner. But I know I cannot stay here forever. The guys will be up soon, and we'll all gather in the kitchen, making laugh, eat whatever we can find, making plans for the day. It's 1987, and life moves fast. Even if I don't feel like keeping up.

Lately, James has been different. Quieter. Or maybe I'm just noticing things that were always there. The way he sometimes stares off into space, his fingers tapping out rhythms for his own ears. The way he lingers a little too long in doorways, expecting something or someone to appear. He doesn't talk about it, though. None of us do. We just keep going, acting like everything is okay.

Maybe he's downstairs already, fiddling with his guitar, a low hum of his voice humming along to whatever song's in his head. I smile at the thought. James Hetfield. My roommate, my best friend, and sometimes... I don't know what. Something more, maybe. Or something less. It's hard to define what we are.

I drag myself out of his bed and into my jeans,the necklace around my neck is getting heavier with the days. The little locket inside, the one I never take off, a picture of him. I rarely open it. I don't have to. I can pull up his face on the screen in my head anytime. Those diamond cut blue eyes, that wonky smile capable of illuminating the whole damn room.

I trudge softly down the stairs, trying not to make any noise. I used to joke this place was haunted, maybe the ghosts of musicians still waited here, looking for their chance at popularity. James would laugh at me for it, calling me ridiculous, but sometimes. Sometimes, I truly wish it were. And maybe it is.

But it's still an empty kitchen. No James, no one else. Just the light patter of rain, the ticking of the clock on the wall. My face droops immediately. He's probably out in the garage, messing with his guitar, or he went for a drive. That's what he sometimes does when his head needs clearing. I'm fine. I'll see him later.

I sit at the table, running my fingers over the grain of the wood in an absent circle. The house is too quiet. Too still. I shut my eyes and try to recall the last conversation we had, but it's all hazy, reaching for smoke. My mind drifts and for one moment, I might have sworn I heard him, his voice calling my name up the hallway. I snap my eyes open and my heart's racing. But there's nobody.

Just the house. Just me.

I shake my head, feeling pathetic. Need to stop doing this, stop waiting for things that aren't there. I'm not some little girl anymore.

But still… I was hoping the house was haunted.

I lie later on his bed, gazing up at the ceiling, the Scorpions poster on his ceiling boring an image into my skull. The rain has calmed. I have no idea why I am in here. I should do anything else, do something else. Instead, I draw his pillow closer to me, inhaling into the now-faint scent of him that still clings to the fabric. I know if i keep breathing it in, it'll only smell like me. And that's no good.

I simply wish that he would just come back now.

I heard the opening of the door behind me, and my heart leaps half a second, hoping it is him, but it isn't. It's Cliff.

He steps inside, his eyes soft as they land on me, knowing exactly what's going on. That's always been him, kind and patient. He doesn't say anything, not for a minute or so, just walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, his weight sinking into the mattress.

And then I don't know why, but I just start crying. It's out of nowhere, tears spilling down my cheeks before I can even attempt to stop them. They soak into James' pillow like a hello. It's kind of really embarrassing, actually. I'm not a crier. But here I am, sobbing into James's pillow like some sort of broken thing, and I have no idea why.

Cliff says nothing more, but reaches out and gently brushes my hair from off my face, and I imagine his touch is James'.

"He loved you, you know," Cliff says in a voice soft enough that it caresses my slow heart.

My body freezes up. "What?

"James," he says, his fingers still moving through my hair, soothing me like I was a little girl. "He was crazy about you."   I shake my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "You don't have to say that, Cliff. I know you're just trying to make me feel better."

But he doesn't laugh. He doesn't even smile. He just looks at me with those sad eyes of his, chestnut hair falling slightly in his eyes.

"He was gonna tell you," Cliff whispers. "After the tour. He had this big, stupid plan. He wanted to take you out to dinner, make it all special, you know? He was nervous as hell about it, too."

Why is Cliff saying this? Why now?

Again, Cliff says, "He never had the chance." Cliff's voice is no louder than a murmur. "But he loved you. Really did."

I wrap myself into a tight, clinging ball with his pillow. "But he's still here," I choke. "James is… he's still here, Cliff. He's just… he's just out somewhere, right?"

There's such a long pause, when Cliff speaks again, his voice is full with a sadness that I don't want to recognize. But I do.

"He's gone, sweetheart."

I shake my head wildly, eyes refusing to believe what I already know is true. "No. No, he's not. He's coming back. He's just—"

"He passed, remember? Last year. The bus."

I stop breathing as the room tilts, heavy with fog, pushing against my skin, promising to smother me. I remember, yet I don't want to. I don't want to think about that night, the phone call, a feeling of my love slipping away.

"I saw him," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I swear, Cliff, I saw him. He was right here."

Cliff doesn't argue, won't try to reason with me. He just pulls me into his arms, holding me as I break apart. He strokes my hair, whispering soft words that I can't quite make out, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that James is gone. He's been gone for a year, and I've been living in this house, waiting for a ghost that will never come home.

Cliff lays me back down, tucks James’ blankets around me as if I am some sort of child. He doesn't leave, though. He stays beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"He really did love you," Cliff says again, much softer this time. "More than you know."

The house isn't haunted. At least, it isn't haunted the way I wish it was.

I still wear you in my locket, James. I always will.

And maybe someday I'll find you again.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

I need this one completed so I can read it in full. I'm holding off on part 1 until you finish. GAH

I am hustling I swear!

129 for ➰:

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

Today, Buck’s clumsiness doesn’t get him killed. At least not yet. 

Today, it stops time. Albeit, just briefly.

He’s getting dressed for kayaking. Eddie is in the washroom. He’s reaching down to put on his sandals, balancing on one foot. He’s usually a bit more deft with this, but he’s distracted. Not totally present. He wobbles a bit, bumps into the wall. He feels the old analog clock shift a little, nearly falling off its mount.

Buck turns to steady it, sandal abandoned. He looks up at the clock, which is perhaps half a foot above his head, only to see that this disruption has left it frozen. Arms standing still. No longer ticking away. 

“Fuck,” Buck mumbles. He feels temporarily guilty for breaking something. Then he remembers the damn thing wasn’t telling time correctly anyway. Not like it’s doing any better now. 

He taps the face of the clock once. Twice. Maybe thirty seconds pass in total from the time he bumped it to when it suddenly lurches back to life. Arms jumping back into motion like a pulse hopping back after resuscitation. 

“Huh,” Buck mutters. 

It doesn’t seem very significant, after all. So he resumes putting on his sandals, and doesn’t give it another thought. 

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

Half an hour later, they’re sitting on the big patio eating a complimentary hotel breakfast. Chris looks mildly zombified, as per usual. Eddie is dumping extra sugar into his coffee. 

Buck picks at his waffles mildly, staring out at the gorgeous view of the Pacific Ocean. He kind of misses the city. As stupid as that sounds. The loud, crowded, often smelly city. He misses it. His work. His job. 

He needs to get them out of this loop. He needs to get them home. 

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰

Everything goes by the script. 

Kayaking. Getting thwacked on the head. Icing his head. Bitching about his head. 

They choose the beach. Buck lays on a blanket in the sun. Eddie rubs sunscreen into his back. 

They make it back to the hotel on time. They make it to the restaurant on time. Buck starts to feel the way he usually feels. Lethargic. Numb. Medicated. A little out of his senses and his body. 

“You okay, Buck?” Chris asks as they sit down. “You look sort of spacy.”

“I’ll be okay, Chris,” he lies. “Thanks for asking though.”

“Food will help,” Eddie says, reading his lines just perfectly. 

“Good idea,” Buck mumbles. 

He just orders water tonight. No point asking for something he won’t be able to taste. 

By the time their food gets to them, it’s practically eight. His hands feel a bit wobbly as he cuts into his sea bass. The medicinal-like numbness that he has been feeling has transformed to a pins and needles sort of feeling across his extremities. 

Buck’s hand is shaking a tiny bit when he shoves the forkful of fish into his mouth. This production of a regular meal when he knows they’re about to die is so fucking exhausting. He hates it so much. He resigns himself to the whole fucking charade. He presses the bland, tasteless fish to his tongue. He inhales and smells nothing. The room feels like it’s spinning around him. 

Eddie is watching him. He always watches. Why is he looking at Buck? It’s the first time Buck has wondered this. If they’re all about to die, why isn’t he watching his son? Buck would… Buck would be watching Christopher. 

He opens his mouth to ask. His jaw and lips feel very heavy. 

“Eddie… Why?” He asks. He can barely manage the words.

Eddie frowns. “What do you mean why?”

“You… Just me…”

Eddie’s eyes widen in horror.

Buck slumps forward. His cheek presses hard into the tablecloth. He can’t remember ever doing that before. It all just sort of ended. 

Eddie starts talking, but Buck can only see his lips move. He can’t hear him. He can see Christopher’s face turn red. Tears fill his eyes.

What’s happening? Why is Buck still conscious? Why isn’t it ending? 

Buck’s not sure how long passes. Time isn’t exactly normal for him. It’s thick and painful and wrong. Eventually, he sees black bleeding into the corners of his vision. 

It ends. 

October 6th, 8am

Buck wakes up at eight in the morning, right on the dot. The digital clock on the nightstand is staring him in the face when he opens his eyes. Bold, square red letters. 8:00. 

Last go-around, Buck died. At the restaurant. Thirty seconds or so later than usual, he thinks. And those seconds, despite his addled, dying state, had told him a lot. 

There’s a lot to process. 

So Buck lies rigidly still and tries to think. 

The problem is, Buck thinks he knows the answer. He thinks he knows what’s wrong. He thinks he understands the truth. But if he does, it means Eddie lied. After Buck begged him to be honest. And if he did, then getting out of here is both simpler and insurmountably more complicated than Buck thought. He doesn’t want to be right. He wants to be misjudging things terribly. But he can’t escape all the little pieces of evidence stacking up. All their conversations. 

Taking care of you, even in small, silly ways, is a privilege. I’m lucky. I want to do it.

Yeah. Buck knows. Of course he knows. He’s just not sure why he didn’t really get it, sooner. Why he didn’t think Eddie was capable of this. He knows the man he loves. Knows how good he is at taking a detour around an issue and driving forward with persistence anyway. 

“Buck?” 

Eddie has woken up. 

He has woken up and noticed that Buck didn’t wake up. He has woken up and probably remembered what happened. Remembered the extra seconds. He must be putting the opposite ends of the pieces together as Buck is. Realizing what Buck is realizing. 

“It’s just me, isn’t it,” Buck whispers.

[g1rlw1th0n33ye3]

When the sun goes down.

Summary ~ Aegon Targaryen II x reader ( no use of y/n cause noo) Aegon finds out something unexpected during his most recent visit to the street of silk.

Warnings- Dubious consent, Drunk sex, its Smut so like yuh know 🧍🏽‍♀️

Also, this is my first fic ever so be nice, please!! I had a day off and a bottle of pink Whitney so here we are! I hope you enjoy also Aegon isn't complete scum of the earth in this story because no that face to pretty for that bad writing and he's not married either Helena and Jace are married and the twins are Jace's kids instead of Aegon's for plot reasons ok enjoy my baby dolls and lemme know if you want a part two!! 🫡

The hour was late as Aegon made his way through the tunnels of Megors holdfast intent on getting to the street of silk as fast as he could he needed something to destress after another unbearably dreadful family dinner they'd been happening more frequently since Helena had given birth to another baby boy this one with bright white hair unlike the two twin babes heads full of brown curls like there father she had given birth to two years earlier it seems his mother has finally accepted that the delusional idea of annulling the marriage was no longer possible now the two sides would favor being intertwined whether she liked or not though her new urge for family dinners to try and bring the family together prove her delusion is not fully gone. Aegon thinks to himself as he slides himself past the guards. Dressed in his usual common clothes disguised for sneaking about so as not to raise any suspicion to the roaming gold cloaks he kept his hood placed high on his head to hide his white tresses as he bobbed and weaved through the huddles of small folk through the streets of flea bottom till he reached his favorite brothel on the street of silk though he hadn't frequented it in awhile a new brothel full of women from Essos had been keeping him otherwise occupied but tonight he wished to be in the place he called closest to home as he entered hood down looking a disheveled mess the madam had immediately come up to him ready to shoo him off till he took off his hood white hair flowing freely that she stopped in her place and instead ushered over the cupbearer and grabbed a glass of wine from the girls tray and holding it out for Aegon

" my prince we haven't been graced with your presence in some time what a pleasure what can i do for you this fine night my prince" the madam spoke with almost an unnerving smile Aegon looked about the room taking it all in before speaking to the madam "I don't know about a fine night but just keep sending pretty girls to fill my cup for me and I'm sure soon it will be " he said before grabbing the wine and making his way to the pile of pillows and blankets strown around a little make shift stage with a dancer atop as he settled down and began chugging his wine beginning to feel the effects of his drink the whole room starting to feel like a warm mix of colors when he finally gazes upon the dancer he's settled Infront of taking in her beautiful face and body adorned in jewels she looked strangely familiar like a face he new but hadn’t seen in a long time the longer he watched you move the more he feel like he was falling into a dream the way you danced around swirling silk scarves in every direction pulling him in that mixed with his cup of wine the bar maids made sure to never let empty he was sure he was in a dream now, he was suddenly snapped out of his trance when he saw you dismount your makeshift stage and make your way for the stairs that led to the back rooms where the girls slept men weren’t allowed back there cause that’s where many of the other girls left the children to sleep while they worked if he didn’t get to you now you he would be out of luck for the rest of the night, he quickly got up and moved as fast as his drunk limbs would carry himself to get to you before you slipped through his grasp “ you there stop “ he said somehow out of breath from simply getting up to cross the room .

Stopping in your place as you adjust your robe you had finished your final dance of the night and were ready to rest your tired legs on your bed when you hear some drunk fool calling out behind you surly following you to ask for a night of your company though your surprised when you turn and are instead met with a drunken prince falling over himself to get to you. “ My prince i was just about to retire to my chambers but i’d be happy to find you another to serve you for the night” you say forcing a smile on your face “ you look familiar have we met before though i don’t think i would have forgot a night with someone as enticing as you” he whispers the honey laced words to you as he comes closer you try to back up to keep a respectable distance but he’s right on your tale “ y…yes my prince we did spend a night together some three years ago i was much different looking then so it’s understandable your memory fails you and well you were also quiet drunk m’prince “ you reveal hoping it will get him off your back men rarely want the same thing twice in a place like this a shame “ a shame i can’t recall though it just gives us more reason to make new ones “ he’s says leaning in to whisper in your ear his warm breath the smelled of honeyed wined fanning your face words catching in your throat at the way he pressed his nose to the side or your face to breathe in your smell “ I’m sorry to disappoint M’ prince but i’m just a dancer now my company is unfortunately not for sale and the madam would be upset with me for taking client from her actual girls but id be happy to help you find one of them “ you feel him pull away at your words a grunge pained on his face “ I didn’t ask for some other girl i asked to spend my time with you and i don’t see the madam here making sure her costumers are tended to so why don’t we just keep it between us and i give you all this gold i have here one this sack and this here “ he says handing you a fully stuffed bag of gold dragons and the golden ring that adorned his middle finger your jaw particularly drops at the sight of all the gold “ for you just for you not the madam what she knows won’t hurt her and will certainly help you “ he says with a mischievous glint to his eyes you look back down at the small fortune he’s handed you it nearly enough to get you out of this dreadful city

“we can do whatever you want “ he speaks one more time trying to convince you a hopefull drunk sloppy smile painted on his face even you can’t deny is charming “ I… alright”

You led him down the stairs by the hand to your small chambers at the very end of the long hall that held all of you and all the other girls' rooms you quickly pulled him in and turned to lock the door to avoid any prying eyes though it was unlikely anybody would be around at this hour non of the other girls usually made it back to there chambers before the sunrise when you turned from the door you found him sat at the edge of your bed taking off his heavy boots and placing them to the side before getting up and beginning his exploration of your room " did you spend all that coin just to gaze upon my perfumes and lotions " you finally speak trying to break the tension, he chuckles to himself before speaking " Mayhaps I did i mean I did say we could do whatever you wanted so you tell me what I paid for " he says looking at you with that tempting smirk of his " Whatever you'd like to m' prince" you say as you remove your robe to be only left in your dancing clothes if they could even be called that it was two simple strips of silk one covering your breasts and one covering your bottom all connected with a strip of jewels to make a sheer dress. You watch as he watches you as you remove your robe before stalking over to you trapping you between the door and himself. The moment Aegon pinned you between the door and himself, the air crackled with an electric tension. His violet eyes gleamed with mischief as they took in the sight of you, draped in the delicate silk of your attire, expertly designed to entice. “Call me Aegon,” he said softly, his voice low and enticing. “There's no need for formality here, pretty girl.” You tilted your head slightly, a playful smile gracing your lips. “Aegon,” you replied, letting his name roll off your tongue with a hint of teasing. It felt daring, refreshing, in a world filled with whispers and expectations. “What do you want?” he asked, leaning in just a fraction closer, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel the weight of his presence, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. A smirk danced across your face as you countered, “What do you want, Aegon?” It was a bold question, not typically asked of a prince, but you had learned to navigate these encounters with a blend of charm and confidence. He paused, a glimmer of surprise flashing in his eyes. “I want to know you—beyond what I see in this place. For tonight, I want to escape the constraints of my title and be just a man in your presence.” Your heart raced at his words, intrigued by this unexpected vulnerability. “Then let’s embrace that freedom together,” you suggested, eager for an evening untethered from convention. With a swift, graceful movement, you stepped closer, the silk of your dress brushing against him. “I must admit, I don’t often get to entertain a prince,” you said, your voice rich with playful mischief. Aegon chuckled, clearly delighted by your banter. “I’m not like the others, I assure you.”

As the tense atmosphere thickened between you, you could feel your pulse quickening. Every heartbeat echoed the electric pull between you—a magnetic attraction that begged to be explored. “Can I…?” he began, hesitation lacing his voice as he searched your eyes for permission.You nodded, breath catching in your throat. “Please,” you whispered, excitement pooling in your stomach. Aegon leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a soft but eager kiss. The taste of him sent shivers racing through your body, igniting a flame of desire that radiated from your core. You melted against him, feeling his warmth envelop you as he deepened the kiss.His hands found your waist, fingers sliding under the silk of your dress, caressing your skin with a slow, tantalizing touch. You gasped into his mouth, a mixture of surprise and longing coursing through you.

“Beautiful ,” he murmured against your lips, his breath hot as he pulled back just enough to search your eyes. With a surge of confidence, you leaned in, kissing him again, more fervently this time, deepening the connection that was rapidly spiraling into something primal. You could feel his heartbeat racing alongside yours, the tension thickening in the space around you. As he kissed you, his hands traveled further up your sides, gripping your waist with a firm but gentle hold. You arched into him, yearning for more, your body responding instinctively. Aegon used the momentum to press you back against the wall, the solid surface grounding you as he pressed his body closer, molding you against him. “Do you want this?” he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear, igniting a rush of desire. “Yes,” you breathed, feeling the heat flush your cheeks. “I want you.” His gaze ignited with hunger at your words, and he captured your lips again, kissing you deeply, as if he were trying to consume you whole. “Let’s move to the bed,” he suggested, voice gravelly as he pulled back, clearing the space to carry you. Without waiting for an answer, he swept you off your feet, lifting you into his arms effortlessly. You gasped, your heart racing as he carried you to your simple bed draped in soft, inviting silks to seem more lavish . He gently laid you down on the mattress, hovering above you, his violet eyes burning with fervor. The anticipation making your body ache for his touch as Aegon slipped lower, trailing kisses along your body. He kissed down your neck, over your collarbone, and down to the swell of your breasts, but he didn’t stop there. His eyes darkened with desire as he made his way down your torso, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “Let me taste you,” he murmured, glancing up at you for permission. The intense anticipation made your breath hitch, and all you could do was nod, overwhelmed by the way he looked at you, like a man starved.

He nestled between your legs, and as he kissed the soft skin of your inner thigh, your body tingled with excitement. The heat of his breath against your most sensitive areas made you squirm, the anticipation driving you wild. With teasing slowness, Aegon’s mouth found your core. The moment his tongue made contact lapping t your senstive bud, a gasp escaped your throat. His tongue moved with a masterful grace, licking and swirling, expertly coaxing pleasure from you. “Oh, Aegon,” you moaned, your fingers tangling in his short curls as he pressed closer, the sensations building rapidly within you. He drank you in, sounds of your pleasure encouraging him, urging him to explore further. “Just like that,” you gasped, hips instinctively rocking against him. The pleasure he gave you was overwhelming, a wave of ecstasy that swept through you, threatening to consume you. He moved with determination, using his tongue to tease and tantalize, exploring every sensitive spot with the precision of a skilled lover. Each flick sent jolts of pleasure sparking through your body, pushing you closer to the edge. You could feel your breathing becoming erratic, each gentle stroke igniting an inferno deep inside you. “I’m so close,” you gasped, unable to restrain the sounds bubbling from deep within. Aegon heightened his pace, his mouth working you to the brink, the pressure building so exquisitely that you could hardly believe it. The world faded away, leaving only the two of you, lost in an intimate dance of pleasure. With a final surge of intensity, you cried out, your body arching as waves of bliss crashed over you, holding you captive in a sweet surrender. The sensation consumed you, leaving you breathless and blissfully spent. He emerged from between your thighs, a smug smile gracing his lips as he wiped them with the back of his hand. “You taste even better than I imagined,” he teased, his eyes sparkling with satisfaction. Now, with your body humming from pleasure, you pulled him in for a hungry kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. The heat between you flared back to life as your bodies tangled, the urgency of your connection surging once more. With renewed desire, you whispered, “Now I need you inside me.” His eyes darkened with longing at your words. “I can make that happen,” he replied, his fingers hastily shedding his trousers, to release his aching cock. He hastily positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing his leaking cock head over your weeping slit before slowly, achingly, pushing his cock inside you, breaking through the last barriers that kept you apart. You gasped, a mixture of pleasure and fullness consuming you as he filled you so completely. With a deep, primal urgency, he began to thrust, the rhythm of your bodies a perfect match. Each movement sent shockwaves of pleasure radiating through you, driving you both toward the brink. “Just like that,” you urged, feeling the tension within you build with every thrust. “Tell me how good it feels,” he demanded, his voice low and gravelly as he continued to drive into you, at a frantic pace

“It feels … uh soo good, Aegon i’m so close ,” you moaned, feeling your body tighten around him, welcoming him deeper. “ Me to sweet girl, me too “ he panted into your neck as he continued to pound into you cunt your sweet little sounds spurring him on the heat between you both intensified, and with one final thrust, you both reached your peak, aegon not bothering to pull out as his cock spent itself inside you continuing his thrusts till he could no longer handle it falling flat on top of your sweaty form cock still sheathed inside your cunt you can hear his panting breathes beginning to even out and him began to drift away to slumber your about to protest and tell him he’s crushing you and he can’t sleep here when he scoops you up flipping you both over so your rested on top of him instead head placed right over his heart the soft beating lulling you away to. Just one moment like this wouldn’t be so bad you think to yourself just a minute and you’ll wake him up and tell him he has to go but for now you will enjoy the warmth of his body and the soothing rhythm of his heart beat lulling you to bed.

The soft hues of morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the lavish room. You slowly stirred awake, wrapped in the comfort of the sheets, a sense of bliss enveloping you as memories of the previous night flooded your mind. Aegon lay beside you, his face relaxed in peaceful slumber, the warmth of his body a comforting presence.

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a mix of affection and excitement. Last night had been a whirlwind of passion and connection—something you hadn’t anticipated when you first saw him. Stretching slightly, you turned to him, admiring the way the morning light danced on his features. But as the reality sank in, urgency washed over you; you had to get Aegon out of here before anyone else in the brothel woke up. “Aegon!” you whispered urgently, gently shaking his shoulder. Before he could fully process your words, the door flung open with a loud bang, and an adorable little girl burst into the room. She had bright, tousled white hair and wide, lilac eyes that darted around, filled with a mix of anxiety and determination. “Mama!” she called, her voice filled with sweet yet panicked urgency. The sight of her jolted both you and Aegon wide awake. He shot upright, confusion etched on his face as he took in the scene before him. “Who is that?” Aegon asked, his voice laced with shock, turning from you to the little girl. You felt your heart race. “Anya, honey, what are you doing here?” you asked, trying to maintain a calm demeanor. “I woke up and couldn’t find you!” she said, her tone shifting as she caught sight of Aegon. “Who’s he, Mama?” Aegon’s brow furrowed as he took in Anya's features, realizing that she had the same bright white hair and lilac eyes as him . “Anya?” he murmured, a sense of recognition dawning on him as he thought out every possibility of who the girls father could be but Daemon hadn’t been to kings landing in Five years since jace’s wedding and this girl couldn’t be older then three, aemond was to preoccupied with his old bat to be fathering bastards and there was no way his father was visiting the street of silk in his declining health there was only one answer . “Is… is she mine?” You felt the weight of the unsaid truth crush you. “….Yes,” you confirmed, your voice barely above a whisper. “But this isn't the right time to discuss it. Aegon, you need to leave!” His expression shifted from shock to something deeper—fear mixed with a desperate need for understanding. “Leave? I can’t just leave without knowing the truth! Three years ago… that night—” he stumbled over his words, his hands clenching into fists, eyes wide with anxiety. “Is she really…? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Mama, why is he scared?” Anya asked innocently, her small hand gripping the edge of your dress, sensing the rising tension.

“Aegon,” you urged, feeling panic swell within you. “Please, I promise I’ll explain everything, but not here. She shouldn’t hear this right now.”

But Aegon wasn’t backing down. “I can’t just disappear, not when I might actually have a daughter. What if I never get to know her?”

Your mind raced, torn between the instinct to protect Anya and Aegon's desperate plea for answers. Anya looked up at Aegon, her bright eyes shining with curiosity. “You look like me!” she said, a huge grin spreading across her face. “You have my hair and eyes!”

Aegon knelt down, his expression softening as he glanced at her. “You’re right,” he said, the fear in his voice giving way to wonder. “You’re beautiful, just like your mama.”

A wave of emotions washed over you as you watched them together. The reality of this moment settled heavily in your chest. “Aegon, if you’re going to be in her life you have to do what best for her and right now isn’t the time to put this all on her give me a day or two to talk to her then you guys can meet properly” you say trying to give him something “ Alright he says two days I'll be back “ he says not looking away from your daughters face before trapping her in a hug you can see the tears in his eye as he grabs his cloak and shoes layed about the room so he can go not forgetting to leave you the sack of coin and all the rings on his hands before he leaves before you can protest he speaks “ For anything you and her need I'll be back i promise “ he goes to close the door and leave you before turning back around to speak once more “ Goodbye Anya it was a pleasure to meet “ you can here him holding back tears as he speaks only going when Anya waved him off with a toothy grin and a bye bye “ He was nice mama” Anya says when he’s finally gone you smile at her words coming down to her level to meet her bright lilac orbs “ Yes.. yes he was sweet girl now should we get something to break our fast “ you say reaching out for her little hand.

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[sarah-bear706318]

Summary: You have 3 important men in your life you never have to doubt if they have your back. First one bring your father Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. The second being your honorary brother Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw. And the third the LOVE of your life Jake "Hangman" Seresin. You can always depend on them for everything and anything you need! Like tonight might be one of those nights...

Warning: Kissing, Fighting, Alcohol, Suggestive comments

A/N: This is my first time writing so any feedback would be amazing! I hope everyone likes it!

Sitting on your bed in yours and Jakes shared bedroom finishing putting on your heels for your night out with Jake and the rest of the Daggers. You were celebrating yours and Jakes recent engagement so you went all out with your look. After what seemed like hours and a lot of eyes rolls from your very sexy aviator later you had your outfit...a short black lace dress that always made Jake droll your sparkly black peptoe heels your silver fighter jet necklace Jake had gotten for you for Christmas and of course you beautiful new ring with a pretty simple make look and some beach curls in your long H/C hair. You give yourself one last look and walk out of the bedroom and down the hall as you hear "Y/N baby hurry up we have to lea..." he stops mid word and looks you up and down with his mouth open. You walk over to Jake take your finger and wiped the side of his mouth "you got a little droll let me get that for you handsome" "baby you look stunning" he says as he grips your hips and leans in for a kiss. You lean into the kiss and a small moan comes from your lips. You know if Jake keeps kissing you like this you will never make it out of the house so it takes everything you have to pull away "Jake as much as i want to keep this going we have to leave everyone is waiting for us" "let them wait" he says as he kisses up your neck. "or better lets skip it and stay in and practice for our honeymoon" you close your eyes really wanting to give him to him your whole body is screaming yes but your brain finally caught up "as much as I want that too but we cant everyone planned the whole night and I'm asking Nat to be my maid of honor" Jake kisses your neck once more and pulls back and looks down at you "fine fine fine but just know all night I'm gonna be thinking about that dress on the floor " he grabs his truck keys and cowboy hat and turns back to you with a smirk "but the heels stay on" he sends you a wink as he opens the door for you. You walk pass him with a smile and think"tonights gonna be wild and crazy". If you only knew how wild and crazy it was gonna get. The ride to the restaurant was just you and Jake talking some wedding ideas some playful banter. After the 30 minute drive you pull in the parking alot and park. Jakes comes over to open your door and helps you down but not before stealing a kiss that make you forget to breathe. "will you stop violating my sister and hurry up I'm hungry" you hear Rooster yell. He's met with both you and Jake flipping him off "its not violating when she moaned when I kissed her" that earns him a smack on the arm from you and a finger from Rooster. You greet your friends with hugs and head inside. Rooster got a big table at your favorite steak house for the group and you were ready to celebrate with your friends and brother.

Dinner was going great! The food was amazing as always the drinks were strong and you had your family with you well but one. Your dad and Penny wanted a more low key celebration with you and Jake so they opped out of "kids nights" but makes every single one of you to promise to call him if there is any trouble. Phoenix sat to your left and you thought this was the perfect time to ask your bestfriend to be your maid of honor. You got the attention of your group by hitting your glass "I wanted to thank everyone for coming out to celebrate me and Jake we really couldn't ask for a better group of friends. I know i can always count on yall for anything including helping me rein this one in" you look to your right at Jake and give him a smirk and a smile before continuing "I also want to thank my best friend for bring the most amazing person and always putting up with my shit. Nat you were there to help me shop and get ready for my first date with Jake, the one I told first about our first kiss, and you are always the one to get the" juicy details" "ahhh come on can you not" Rooster says with a disgusted look, you shot him the death glare the one that always made him a bit scared of you. You turned back to Nat "Anyways as i was saying you have been there from the start and i would be honored if you were the one standing beside me on my big day. So Nattie Catt will you be my maid of honor?" "OMG YES" you both share a big hug while the whole tables cheers. "lets order a shot for the bride and the maid of honor" Fanboy says as he waves the waiter over. You and your maid of honor downed your shots of tequila with a big hug after. After everyone had settled their bills you all walked outside. "Lets go to that new club that just opened a few weeks ago" Payback says. Everyone agrees not wanting to let the party end so you all got in your own cars and off you went.

The club was a very nice change and it was nice to let lose and dance instead of just sipping a drink and playing pool or darts at Hard Deck. Jake decided he wasn't gonna have more then a beer or two so he could still drive but always so you could have a carefree night and let lose, he just didn't think you and Nat would go as crazy as you did. A couple hours 3 double vodka lemonades a 2 beers and to many shots later you and Nat were a laughing stumbling mess! Its safe to say you were beyond drunk and Phoenix was just as bad, and Rooster was not helping things with all the shots and encouragement much to Jake's dismay. You're on the dance floor with Nat having the time of your lives when you yell over the loud music "Nattie Catt want another shot" "Hell yeah lets go". You both make your though the sea of people dancing and head to the table everyone was sitting at. Once there you stumble into Jakes lap "I love you so much lieutenant Hangman" Jakes smiles at the way you used his rank and callsign together and kisses your cheek "I love you more sweetheart". You look over to your brother who has the same smirk on his face he use to have when you were kids "lets get you girls more shots" "No she has had enough shots for the night" you hear your soon to be husband say. "babyyyyyy im having fun don't be a buzz kill" "yeah bagman don't be a party buzz kill" Nat slurs to him while sipping on her beer. "yeah hangman you party buzz kill" Rooster chimes him laughing. "One more shot thats it then its water your already pretty drunk baby" "YAYYYYYY you the bestest" you say kissing him. Rooster offers to go get the last round of shots. Whiles he gone you and Nat decide to dance right there by the table so you know you get your shots and Jake doesn't throw them out. "omg I love this song" Nat yells over the song "me too". Rooster comes back with the shots but not just any shots two triple shots of tequila along with the salt on the rim and a lime for each. "What the hell is that Bradshaw I said one more shot" "it is just one its just tripled" Jakes knew this wasn't gonna be good you and Nat were already way drunker then he expected but before he could do or say anything you grab the shot and the lime. Before he can stop you and Nat are licking the salt rims taking the shot and not you were sucking the lime. Rooster Payback and Fanboy are laughing with how drunk the two of you are. "can you stop laughing and egging them on" Jake says to the guys. He sits you down in the booth and turns to you "sweetheart I'm cutting you off you've had enough I'm gonna go get you some water stay here don't move, watch your sister Rooster don't let her up drink anything or do anything stupid I mean it" he says as he points his finger at him, "yeah i got her" he says laughing while you and Nat are trying and failing to sing the song that is playing.

Jakes walk up to the bar and gets the bartenders attention "what can i get for you man" "just 2 waters please". As the bartender goes to get the waters a girl with blonde hair the fakest boobs and to much much makeup comes to stand by Jake "Hey what's a sexy man like you doing alone" the girl ask while touching his arm. Jake pulls his arm away "not interested" "oh come on I can show you a really good time i promise" "not happening like I said not interested I'm engaged" the blonde steps closer "I wont tell if you don't" she whispers in his ear. At the table you are still laughing with Nat with out of the corner of your eye you see the blonde whisper something in Jakes ear and touch his arm then you see Jake move away. "what the fuck hell no" Rooster follows your eyes and sees what you see but before he can stop you you are out of the booth heading for Jake and the slut flirting with your fiancé. Rooster calls your name "shit Jakes gonna kill me" he says as he tries to catch up to you. You make it to the bar you snatch the girls arm off Jakes arm. "If I were you I would get the fuck away from my fiancé before you get fake blonde extensions pulled from your head" you say will rage in your voice. Jakes steps between you and the girl just as Rooster makes it over to the bar after fighting his way through the crowed. "Bradshaw I told you to keep her at the table this isn't keeping her at the table" "I tried even in those 6in heels she's fast dude" Jake just rolls his eyes. "It seems he was free game i mean you were nowhere around" "like I said step the fuck away or along with going home with no hair I'll throw in black eye and busted lip" you say as you get closer to the girls face. "Ok baby its time to go no fighting tonight" Jake says as he pulls you away from the girl.

Jake gets you outside and you are soon joined by the rest of your friends. "girl i really thought you were gonna hit her bagman why did you pull her away my bestie could have taken that fake boob bimbo" Nat says laughing. "that bitch almost ruined my buzz" you laugh with Nat and the rest. "well I didn't feel like having the cops called and my baby girl going to jail and I really didn't want to be the one to call Mav and explain that" "I could have taken her" you said crossing your arms. "Y/N" you hear your name you turn around and see Coyote Fanboy and Payback coming out with something in their hand "ohhhhh no she is done no more" Jake says as he sees they all have what look like double shots of tequila in their hands. "That bitch made me lose half my buzz please baby" you go to reach for the shots when you hear a giggle that sounded like nails on a chalkboard. "hey girls there's the hot guy from the bar I was telling you how about and his little bitch right next to him" the blonde was back and now you were pissed all over again. "What the fuck did you just say" you say as you walk in her direction. Jake grabs your arms but not tight enough. "what I was telling my friends is you're a bitch and I could take care of that hot man of yours way better then you can." You step closer to her and out of nowhere Nat is beside you. "that's what I thought you said" you got very close to the girls face "even if I wasn't in the picture that man wouldn't comes near you he likes having his dick attached and not riddled with what ever that smell is coming from between you legs" You hear the guys in the background laughing Rooster cheering you on and Jake telling them all to shut up. "now take your rancid skank pussy and your little sluts and walk away sweetie I'm really not someone you want to mess with" You go to turn but the girl grabs your arm "oh shit" you hear Jake say. Before Jake have a chance to even think or react you grab the girl by her fake hair and sling her to the ground and Nat pushing one of her friends down who went after you. A part of her hair still in your fist but before can do anything more Jake is grabbing you from behind and Rooster has Nat. You look a Jake then back to the girl "You fucking bitch that was expensive" the girl yell from the ground holding the side of her head as her friends help her up. Jake sees the fire in your eyes and that's never good and even worse when you've been drinking. He turns to the group of girls "I'd leave before we let them go we cant control them a second time". You throw the girls hair back at her as Jake pulls you away. What you didn't see was the two cops down the street heading your way after seeing the whole exchange. The guys are laughing and Rooster is high fiving you and Nat while Jake rolls his eyes. "ok rocky I really think its time to go now" Jake says. "ummm guys look behind you" Bob says pointing down the street. You all look behind you can see 2 officers heading your way not looking happy. "shit this is what I was worried about" Jake says rubbing the back of his neck. You turn to the guys and grab the shots "well Nat were gonna need these if were going to jail bottoms up" you say and hand Nat her shots. You both down all 3 shots in a matter of seconds looking back not your smartest idea. " Y/N Y/M/N MITCHELL are you out of you mind you have cops heading this way most likely to arrest the two of you and your taking shots what the hell are you thinking" Jake whispers yells at you. You weren't thinking you were running off anger and adrenaline mixed and with the amount of alcohol you had in your body not the best combo. As the adrenaline wore off all the alcohol including the 3 shots you downed moments ago hit you like a ton bricks. You and Nat were now giggling Jake looks pissed, the guys look nervous, and Rooster cant stop laughing.

As the officers get closer Jakes tries to get you and Nat to stop laughing "baby you have got to stop laughing. I might be able to just talk to them without the two of you going to jail but the both of you have to work me, can you do that baby girl" "yes sir lieutenant sexyman sir" you say and salute him "what she says bagman" you both are now slurring your words. Jake rolls his eyesand knows this isn't gonna end well so he just hangs his head and prays the two of you can keep it together. Rooster on the other hand is finding all this so funny he cant stop laughing. He hasn't seen you this drunk in so long and he is loving every second of this and what makes it better is that Jake looks like he is about to lose it. "Good evening" the taller of the two officers greets the group. He looks around and his eyes land on the two girls trying and failing to hold in their laughs "We got word from a couple of girls that there was a problem down this way?" As Jake goes to say something you beat him to it "There wasn't any problem until that slutty bitch put her hands on my fiancé and got in my face and had her skank friends get in my best friends face if she would have walked her nasty ass away and kept her month shut she wouldnt have lost her hair" "Lost her hair!" the shorter of the two cops say with wide eyes. "I gave it back to her" you say with a smile and a shrug of your shoulders . Jake shakes his head this is what he was afraid would happen, you tend to get mouthy when you do shots. "yeah officer she gave the bitch her hair back" Nat says. " that's enough with the language lady's one more outburst and the two of you are going in the cuffs do you understand" one of the officers says with a look that lets you all know he isn't playing. Rooster is now laughing even more and trying to hide it along with the rest of the guys and Jake is getting more pissed. "Rooster you are not helping anything now shut up and stop encouraging them" "I'm sorry man...this was just way to good... its not just one of them but... both of them" Rooster says in between laughs. "officers I am very sorry for my fiancé and her friend's outburst it wont happen again" Jakes says as he gives you a look. "We were just about to head home for the night there will not be anymore trouble" "yeah unless that slut with her fakeass boobs and rancid pussy touches my man again" "yeah or her bitch friend comes back I fly fighters jet for a living I can handle her ass". That was it for the officers "Lady's you had you're one warning now turn around put your hands behind your back now" You and Phoenix stand there for a second before bursting out in laughter. "Officer is this really necessary I promise I will get them both in my truck and take them home" Jake begs the officers who are now reaching into their belts for their handcuffs. "I'm sorry sir we gave them fair warning and they didn't listen now please step back" "Jakey baby you think they will let us take these cuffs home we could have fun with these" you say sending a wink his way while Nat just laughs. Jake steps back and runs his hand through his hair watching as his fiancé and friend are put in handcuffs. Rooster stands there in shock still laughing and after that comment and seeing the officers face he isn't even trying to hide it. "Hangman I hate to say this but it might be a good time to call Mav" Jakes pulls this phone and looks to Rooster "yeah I know I'm on it but I'm telling him about all the shots of tequila you gave his daughter that got us in this shit storm. Hey Mav yeah we have a problem"

Maverick is fast asleep seeing that's its 2:30 am when his phone wakes him up, he turns over and sees its Jake calling he doesn't think twice before picking it up "Hangman what's going on Y/N ok?" He listens as Jake tells everything. He rubs his temples and starts to get throw the covers off. "Ok Hangman ill be there in 10." After he's dressed and has explained everything to Penny he's on his bike driving to the club thinking about who he's gonna kill first his daughter for mouthing off to cops or or his Godson for giving you so many shots and encouraging you . Back at the club you and Phoenix are both still laughing your asses off. Jake was able to talk the officers out of taking you both to jail explaining who your dad was and his status in the Navy. Jake stands near by trying to get the two of you to stop laughing and Rooster stands there laughing everytime one of you make a comment. Jake is ready to kill him. 10 minutes later Maverick comes walking around the corner seeing his daughter and one of his best pilots in handcuffs on the ground laughing Jake trying to shut you up, his God son egging you both on his other daggers looking nervous and two officers ready to take you both to jail. "DADDY you decided to come after all I'm so happy lets do more shots" "yeah baby I came but you are not having another drop of alcohol now hush so I can sort this all out" "boo your no fun" you say blowing a raspberry at your dad and pouting while Nat laughs. "Hello officers Captain Pete Mitchell" he extends his hand to the officers. The officers and Maverick walk to the side to talk. As Maverick is trying to get the two of you out of trouble Jakes looks over to where you are sitting and cant help but smile. Even in your drunk state laughing on the ground in handcuffs with your best friend you are still the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and he doesn't know how he get so lucky. A few minutes later your dad and the officers come back. "Ladys thanks to Captain Mitchell here we are letting you both go" Jakes breathes a sigh of relief. The officers help you and Phoenix up to uncuff you both. "We want you both to go home and sleep this night off and if we see this again you are both going to jail do you understand ladys?" You both shake your heads and let out a soft giggle. "Thank you officers I promise we are all going home right now" Jake says. As the shorter officer is undoing your hand cuff you look at Jake "Baby you never answered me can we take the cuffs home and have fun ill even leave the heels on like you said while you were feeling me up before we left for dinner you know practice for our honeymoon" you say as you send Jake a wink. Jake turns red and turns to the officer and apologizes "I really didn't need that mental imagine of my daughter" Maverick says closing his eyes and once again rubbing his temples. Rooster at this point is doubled over laughing trying to catch his breathe when out of nowhere he feels Maverick smacks him upside his head "Rooster thats enough your already in trouble with me dont push it". That makes Rooster's laughs die down. Once your free from the cuffs you stumble into Jakes arms and gives him a drunk smile. "ok Daggers all of you head home now and I better not get a phone call about any of the rest of you" Maverick looks over to the other guys who are trying their hardest not to laugh as they watch you and Nat stumble. "Oh and the 3 of you" he points to Payback Fanboy and Coyote "for giving these two more shots even after seeing the cops coming expect extra push ups. See you boys at 0600 Monday morning" Mav says as he turns around to help Jake and Rooster get you and Phoenix to safely to the car also asking Bob to help.

After a very wobbly walk to the truck with your dad on one side and your fiancé on the other you finally made it. As Jake opens the door for you to help you get in you turn to see Phoenix hanging on to your brother and Bob in a laughing fit "good night maid of honor love you" you yell. You didnt get to hear what she said before your dad and Jake were putting you in the truck. After getting Phoenix in his bronco and buckled in Rooster leaves her with Bob to come over and say goodnight. He walks up while Jake is getting your seatbelt on. He stands by his Godfather and shakes his head watching you. Jake closes the door and walks over the the other two men. "Thanks Mav I dont know what i would have done if you didnt get things worked out" Jakes says "It's not a problem Hangman now get my daughter home and in bed" "Yes sir" Jake says walking to the drivers side and gets in cranks up the truck and rolls down your window to say good night to your dad and brother. Your dad and Rooster walk up to the window "good night little sis had fun together lets do it again sometime" he smiles seeing your drunken smile "not gonna happen" your father and fiancé say at the same time. "Good night sweetheart ill call you tomorrow to check on you I love you be safe" "Goodnight daddy I love you too and don't worry me and Jake are always safe I'm on the pill and he's not rough unless I ask" you say with a drunken smile Jakes face goes red and Rooster busts out laughing earning another smack from Maverick. "Not what I meant sweetheart but good to know" he says as he gives Jake a look. "Well good night Mav" Jake yells as he speeds off. Maverick looks over to his Godson with a look of death "you not only get extra push ups Monday but you have extra PT for the next month for helping her get this drunk and arrested. Now take Phoenix home and get alot of rest ill see you 0400 Monday morning have a great night Lieutenant Bradshaw" "But you told the other guys 0600 why do I have to be there 2 hours before" "Because Bradley Y/N is not their little sister" Maverick says slapping Rooster on the back before walking back to his bike. All of a sudden the night didn't seem funny anymore to Rooster

On your way home you start to fall asleep to the sound of the music Jake had put on. "I love you Jake so so much" Jake looks over at you and smiles as he sees your eyes start to close "I love you too babygirl" he says and rubs your thigh then looks back to the road. Tonight was not what he planned but in the end everything turned out alright. Once thing is for sure with you has his wife there will never be a dull moment. He knows you can be a handful but he wouldn't change you or your craziness for the world and he couldn't wait to spend his life with you.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[hauntingsofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[mildcicada]

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

[endawn]

thinking more about hunger trying to re-possess pax again and -

[zhinee]

looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

mental breakdown in the tags incoming scroll past for your own well being

[homosexchad]

accidentally educating well meaning but confused cis people seems to be my new vibe lol

im mostly stealth irl but since i'm getting top surgery this summer and a couple of irl friends were like "omg why are you getting surgery? are you dying? are you ill?", i came out to some of them bc fuck it.

anyway, one girl asked how it worked and i mentioned scar care and she was so confused. turns out she thought that every top surgery consisted of basically vacuuming the tit out and then being fine the same day. bruh.

my college tutors were baffled, but in a chill way. ended up turning my 5 minute "ok, here's how we'll tell your apprenticeship employer" meeting into a 45 minute deep dive where i accidentally radicalised one of my tutors because he genuinely thought transitioning was like a "go to the GP and you're done in a year" thing, and not a 4 year waitlist, 1 year diagnosis, blood tests, more waiting, hormones, then a constant uphill battle, a year of appointments for a referral, years of waiting for surgery, weight limits with no wiggle room, etc.

the weight limit thing really confused him, he was like "but you're not even fat!" and i was like "well, first of all, i am" and then explained the additional risks and how pretty much every surgeon in this country has a BMI limit of 30, which is part of the reason i'm glad to be able to go private bc i'd have to lose about 20kg to be eligible for most NHS surgeons, and going abroad is??? a bit too scary for me lol.

he asked about GRCs and i explained how they work and what they do and he was shook lol. i was like yeah bro, i've got 7 years of evidence and my statutory declaration but no NHS diagnosis, and they won't accept my private doctor's diagnosis bc they're not The List of Approved Doctors so i've been waiting for this NHS appointment for years.

"how much is it for you to go private?? it's hOW MUCH?? EVERY MONTH?? how much is surgery? IT'S WHAT NOW?!?! is there a payment plan? NO?!??!"

homie asked when the next protest was 😂

he said i can contact him whenever i want to get stuff off my chest about this topic and for once i was like yknow what. yes it's frustrating that there's an expectation for me to educate others, but also like. there's so much misinformation online rn about how transitioning works, what legal transition looks like, what the legal rights are, that it's kind of chill. i have the energy, and if it's a well meaning person that i know well enough i'm kind of chill with it.