#i would like help but im to scared to ask

[caseyscraftycorner]

Yeah, very extremely relatable. i'm also very much trans (he/they) but that fact has nothing to do with my story, either.

this is going to be long & i apologize in advance for that.

My childhood and teenage years had one very, very common theme: my school knew i needed psychiatric help and tried very, very hard to get it to me, and my father repeatedly & actively refused it.

around my junior year of high school, i desperately explained to a random school admin official during yet another mandatory meeting about my deeply broken mental health that I wanted help, that i needed help. but that my father would not allow me to see a therapist, much less a psychiatrist, and that he would not sign papers giving permission for me to see a therapist during school hours. I told them that if they asked him, he would say i never gave him the permission slip, but that he was lying. I told them he had been refusing to sign any permission slips for years, and that he did it to my brother too, and that he always blamed us to our teachers but it was never our fault. He'd tell us he would 'do it later', get mad at us for reminding him, and then refuse altogether the morning it was due because we 'nagged him'. if we didn't remind him, he would declare it our fault that he forgot, and refuse to sign it the morning it was due to 'teach us to do better'. I told them that they could talk to my teachers, they could talk to my brother's teachers, that they could talk to my brother. I cried. i told them i wanted to get better. I told them i was scared for what would happen to me if i didn't get help, but that i had nothing else i could do. id done everything. i was hopeless.

They got quiet. they started thinking. They asked me if i would be opposed to a meeting with them & my father. i said i didn't think it would help, but that i didn't think it would hurt. He already believed me to be a lying, manipulative, abusive, & codependent person, and he had been required to attend several meetings with school officials about my mental health. another meeting wouldn't do any damage to me, i just didn't think it would be worth anyone's time. nothing would, or could, come of it.

So the meeting happens, and it goes how i expect it to. he explains to the person that he knows me, that i do this all the time, that they only see me when im 'being good' and that he 'knows what im really like at home'. he blames everything on me being attention seeking, lazy, and anxious. they ask him if he will allow me therapy outside school & he claims insurance will not cover it (this is a complete lie). they ask him if he will allow me to attend free therapy through the school, and he says he will "think about it". when they try to hand him the permission slip, he refuses to take it. he says he'll print it at home if he needs to.

so the whole thing is a wash, right? an hour and a half long meeting of me feeling shitty and anxious and also like i am wasting everyone's time.

wrong!

I was informed a week later that i could start therapy at the school, during school hours. confused, i asked them if my father signed the slip somehow. they smiled and said "he signed it at our meeting last week, remember? though i seem to have lost my copy, i am certain it will turn up sometime soon."

so. the only reason i got any mental health care -- mental health care i wanted, mental health care i needed -- as a very, very mentally ill teenager is because some random admin person at my school lied about losing some paperwork.

that therapist is what made me realize that my father was abusive. they taught me how to deal with things as best i could in the moment. they kept me grounded through all of my father's bullshit. they made me realize that i could get out, and also helped me plan and enact my escape.

I never should have needed a random school admin person to lie for me. i shouldn't have needed anyone to risk their job for me. i shouldn't have needed to get lucky in the ways that i did, especially since i know i got lucky because other people saw me as smart and kind, because i was a young white girl who begged for help. i know for a fact that the kids who were seen as problem children, the kids of color, the boys...they didn't get lucky like i did, and that is a grave injustice.

i should have just been able to get the therapy that i needed & wanted from the organization that was offering it me. every single kid should have the freedom to get the therapy they want & need. they shouldn't need to get permission from their parents. they shouldn't even need to tell their parents. hell, they should even be able to hide it from their parents if they want or need to, like i did.

"parents rights" fundamentally describe the "rights" of parents to control the actions of children, to deny children agency and personhood.

Childrens Rights fundamentally describe the rights of an individual to have control over their self and their own life, to have agency and personhood.

it's really that simple.

in a world where a prominent branch of anti-trans activism focuses on fearmongering about "parents' rights," trans rights and youth rights become inextricable.

trans kids deserve to be called the right pronouns and the right name by schools and doctor's offices, regardless of "parental consent." trans kids deserve to undergo the right puberty at the same time as their cis peers, regardless of "parental consent."

the very concept of "parents' rights" is a smokescreen that enables the abuse and dehumanization of children by adults. this is bad for cis kids, too.

[xoxonamgyu]

oh hey “girlfriend”

Pairing: Thanos/su bong x f reader

Warnings: swearing, stalking, fluff, use of y/n

Summary: your being followed by your ex when your walking thru an alley to get home after work and thanos helps you, it’s later on you find out he’s famous.

au out of games

————————————————————————

your shift at work was long you were so tired you decided to walk to work today, hell you regretted that decision.

you grabbed your stuff and you took the short way home you had to pass through the alley you hated it but you didn’t wanna walk for a hour.

about half way thru the alley you heard footsteps you didn’t think anything of it till they started getting faster. you looked behind you and it was your ex. he was following you! god he wouldn’t stop stalking you he’s been checking all your socials and liking all your stuff recently and then you would get texts from random phone numbers which you knew were him he kept changing his number.

you were getting scared your stomach turning you started to walk faster and so did he it wasn’t till you saw someone turn the corner to walk down the alley you felt maybe you could ask for help.

you had no choice it was ethier embarrass yourself but maybe be saved or be followed and maybe beat by your ex.

You look up at the guy begging him to help with your eyes

He looks at you he’s confused for a second but he’s not fucking stupid. He seen the guy following you and he nodded his head at you

“Babe!” you pretend smile at the man

“hey baby” he answers

your ex freezes and watches for a second

“Thanks for meeting me half way” you say

“of course couldn’t let you walk the whole way alone it’s late!” he answers

your ex quickly turns around and speed walks away his head down.

You look back and he already turned out the alley

“Oh my god thank you so much you saved me.”

“yeah of course you looked stressed. if you don’t mind me asking who was that?”

“My ex. He’s been stalking me”

“Are you okay?”

“yeah I acted like a random guy in the alley was my boyfriend to get away from my ex im perfectly okay!” You say sarcastically

He snickers

“sorry for asking stupid question”

“I’m joking I am okay atleast as okay as I can be.”

“well im already here ill stick to my word ill walk you home.”

“Oh come on you were acting weren’t you? You don’t gotta do that.”

“What if I want to?”

“Then I guess I’ll let you.”

you smile at him and he smiles back

“What’s your name” he asks when you guys are walking

“Y/n.”

“That’s pretty”

“thank you. What’s yours?”

“thanos.”

“Thanos? Like the marvel villain?”

“im a rapper you haven’t heard of me?”

“Oh you all big and famous?”

“eh kinda”

“I’ll make sure to check out your songs then.”

“alright well see you y/n.”

“Bye Thanos.”

“god that’s a stupid name” you laugh and mutter under your breath

You got home showered and got your pjs on. you were lying on your bed and were bored and you remembered that guy said he was a rapper you decided to look him up

“Thanos he said.” You question yourself

you expect for there to be nothing about him and that he was just full of himself but you search it up and your mind is blown.

he’s fucking famous!

“Holy shit.” You gasp

Why was a famous rapper walking down an alley and thankfully saving a random girl??

you looked more into it and there were a couple shows around you.

You decided to buy a ticket after listening to a couple of his albums he wasn’t half bad at singing.

You look at the tickets and they weren’t to expensive you bought a front row seat the show was in a couple days about a hour away.

the next 2 days went normal and fast but you couldn’t stop thinking of Thanos you met him once but you felt like you needed to see him again and you are but it’s not like he will notice you.

it’s the night of the concert and you put on a cute black tube top with a jean skirt and put purple haircilps in. you put on your sneakers and left

the concert started a couple minutes after you got there everyone erupted into screams and you just clapped and look up at him silent he looked so good.

after a couple songs he stopped to talk

“HEY EVERYONE HAVING A GOOD TIME?”

everyone starts screaming again

“okay calm down!” He laughs

“This next song is a song i wouldn’t usually sing it’s about a girl I meant recently and I wish I could see her again.”

people start screaming again

the music starts and he starts singing

you couldn’t help but think maybe it’s about you, yeah right.

the song ends and he looks around and then you guys lock eyes

His smile widens and he brings the mic to his lips

“oh hey “girlfriend” he says and made quotation marks with his fingers

everyone screams

he points at you and walks towards you and when he gets to you he puts his hand out

you walk onto the stage with him and your shocked

“Everybody this is the girl from my song. I didn’t think I would see you again.” He looks at you and smiles

he whispers in your ear

“Meet me back stage I’ll talk to you there”

you nod and go back to your spot in the crowd

his eyes were on you the rest of the concert and you were smiling the whole time you met this guy once you didn’t expect a whole song but I guess that’s the type of guy Thanos is.

after the concert you go backstage. Security knew to let you back

you were sitting on a couch waiting for him and a couple minutes after he came backstage

you quickly stood up

“Y/n!”

“hey thanos”

“if you want call me my real name su bong.”

he never let people call him su bong.

“okay, su bong”

“I didn’t expect you to come to my concert.”

“well I listened to your songs they were really good and i wanted to see you again.”

“well thank you.”

you smile at him

“well I guess I should go” you say

“y/n wait no.”

“huh?”

“It’s not everyday you meet a girl in an alley and then meet her again at your concert can i please have your number?”

You giggle

“yes of course”

you grab your phone and you guys swap numbers

“and before you leave.” He walks closer to you

“what is it?” you ask your blushing

he leans in and kisses you

your taken back at first but then you melt into the kiss

after a bit he pulls back and smiles at you

“bye y/n I’ll call you.”

“bye su bong!”

you stand and watch as he goes to his dressing room he looks back and blows a kiss at you

you smile and then walk out and go home excited for him to call.

————————————————————————

okay first fic that doesn’t involve namgyu?? Hope you liked it!

tags: @thanosspills @i-might-be-vanny

[justastraymoa]

Resignation

Masterlist

Warnings for hurt, not really any comfort, hospitals, medical issues with children, mentions of blood and bruising, hurt children, sad, bad husband behavior, emotional abuse, no happy ending.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Im not a medical or seizure professional. I googled. Do not repost.

You stared blankly at the phone in your shaking hands. A tear dripped onto the screen, blurring your husband’s dismissive and cruel words. The sirens of the ambulance were deafening as paramedics moved around you and the tiny body lying on the stretcher.

Your daughter was still out of it, unable to form words and eyes unfocused. She was crying quietly, scared and confused about what was happening. It was heartbreaking to watch her eyes slide over you without recognition.

A young male paramedic placed a gentle, comforting hand on your arm, the purple rubber glove feeling odd against your skin. You give him your attention.

“Don’t worry. Temporary amnesia isn’t uncommon after a seizure.” He soothed. “Her vitals look good. You did very good helping her.”

You didn’t feel like you did good. You completely froze when your little girl suddenly started acting off then collapsed on the living room floor amongst her toys and jerked violently over and over again.

Your knowledge about seizures and what to do was very limited. It felt like it took hours for you to jump into action, quickly shoving her toys away and turning her onto her side. She was making deep guttural grunts and at some point, you didn’t notice she had lost control of her bladder, soaking her pants and the floor around her.

You had no idea how long the seizure lasted. That was one of the first questions the paramedics had asked you. You only knew if felt like an eternity as you sobbed out your daughter’s name repeatedly.

As soon as the shaking stopped you sprinted to your phone across the room, quickly dialing the emergency number before getting back to Maya. She was unconscious but breathing.

Before the paramedics arrived, Maya had another seizure – and your heart stopped.

On top of everything already happening, having your husband blow off both you and your daughter hurt. It hurts to have your asking for help be called a temper tantrum like you were some clingy, needy person. You have never once asked him for help like this. But he had always said that he would be there for you. Now it seems like that was only just sweet words. It felt like you were on your own.

Still, you texted him the hospital address anyway. Just in case.

It took two hours for the ER to do all the testing and scans they needed to do to find out what happened. Maya didn’t start to recognize you for almost an hour after her second seizure and you almost collapsed in relief when she finally looked at you and softly called “Mommy”. It was the sweetest sound you had ever heard.

You looked up from the clipboard of paperwork as Maya started fingering her IV again. “Babygirl, you need to leave that alone. Its fiving you medicine.” You chastise gently, explaining the importance to her.

“I’m sick?” She asked, her big brown eyes looking up at you in concern.

Reaching out you gently smooth her hair, the curls sticking up in odd directions. The doctor had explained to you that she may never remember the seizure or even the hours leading up to it or after it. “Yeah, you are. But these nice doctors and nurses are going to help you.”

She sat and processed that for a few moments. She was such a steady, thoughtful child. Always has been. “That’s why they did all the machines and shots?” She confirmed.

You nod. “They are trying to find out why you are sick so we can get you better and keep you healthy.”

She mirrored your nod with a twist of her full pink lips. You stayed silent and let her think through her feelings, rubbing her shin under the scratchy rubber duck scrubs the hospital had made you change her into. You were so thankful she was back to normal acting. The color was back in her cheeks and everything.

“Where’s daddy?”

Your chest went cold. You had been avoiding mentioning anything to do with Chan. You didn’t want to see the look of resigned disappointment she would undoubtably have. You saw it every time you had to explain to her that daddy was busy with work and couldn’t come to her recital, or to her birthday party, or to the father-daughter dance.

His absence from your lives was something you were both far too used to. She barely knew her daddy, and what she did know mostly came from Stray Kids video uploads or articles you read to her every night like bedtime stories.

“He’s really busy at work, baby, but he will come see you when he can.” No need to try and explain that he didn’t even know what had happened or asked after her health or recovery. You didn’t want to have to tell her that he cared more about work than either of you. It was bad enough you knew it; she didn’t need that heart ache as well.

He loved you both. Of course he did. And you know it. And you knew way back when, when you two first got together that he would be away more often than not. That he would miss holiday, important dates, events, milestones. And when you found out you were pregnant, you knew none of that would change. You knew and you were okay with it because you loved him and were so proud of him and his work.

You just didn’t understand, weren’t prepared for how much it would hurt to see your daughter go through this with you. You had a choice. You chose this. Maya didn’t. She had no choice; she was born into this. And you did that to her.

“Can we watch skizz family?”

“Sure babe.” You pull up her favorite skz skit and hand your phone over to her as you climbed into the bed with her to cuddle and hopefully get her to sleep.

Just as she was settling in, our phone buzzed with an incoming text.

She thrust the phone back into your hand. “Uncle Bokbok is texting.”

Just over thirty minutes later several bags of takeout and snacks and a large glittery gift bag arrived. Maya squealed happily as soon as she saw the chocolate brown stuffed bear.

You were happy for the bed set and clothes he had thought to send along so both of you could sleep more comfortably tonight. And felix also sent over all your favorite foods and Mayas. He really earned his angel status and more.

Taking a few minutes, you changed Maya and put the sheets and pillowcase on, laying the blanket over both of you before snapping a pic to send to Lix.

Even now you were unwilling to speak poorly about Chan to his members. Even to Felix who was truly like a brother to you and an uncle to your daughter. All skz were her doting uncles, of course. But Felix was always the closest to both of you. Today just proved that more.

Maya fell asleep not even halfway through her video, holding her bear close and snuggling into your ribs. She was exhausted from the day. You let the video continue, watching Chan play his young character.

The tears snuck up on you. Falling down your face in large silent drops.

Sniffing deeply, you swipe them away. Mayas okay now, there is no reason for tears.

Tucking the blanket around you both a bit tighter, you get as comfortable as possible and close your eyes to sleep, your phone still playing the video.

It was a sweet older nurse who woke you up an hour and a half later to give you the results of Mayas tests. You were immediately alert at her words, anxious to find out what happened.

Slipping carefully out of bed so you didn’t wake Maya up, you followed the nurse to the hall to talk.

The results were all within normal ranges and expectations for the situation, so now they wanted to do some more extensive testing.

Which meant a three-day neural test to watch the activity in her brain for any abnormalities.

Just over an hour later you and Maya were climbing into an Uber. She looked like a science experiment with a white cap over her head and wires poking out from everywhere.

Ans she was miserable. Sore and tired, cranky from being poked, prodded, and woken up. She wouldn’t even talk to you in more than short grunts and huffs. She still held her stuffed bear tightly in her arms.

You couldn’t wait for the familiar sight of your apartment and the comfort and warmth of your bed.

What you could wait for was the inevitable argument with Chan.

Unfortunately for you, he was awake and waiting for you when you walked in carrying a sleeping Maya against your shoulder.

He rounded on you immediately. “Where the fuck have you been? It’s late as hell!”

You shushed him urgently, gesturing with one hand to Maya. You didn’t want to wake her up again. She had a rough day and deserved a little sleep.

Chan looked down at her like he just noticed she was there. His eyes took in the cap and wires. The bruises, dried blood, and bandages. His anger turned to confusion and concern.

He let you by to tuck Maya into her bed and shut the door, so she won’t wake up.

“What happened?” He asked, significantly calmer now.

You glare at him and brush past, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. “We’ve been at the hospital getting tests done.” You chose to answer his first question. You were facing away from him, towards the sink as you drank and let all your emotions swirl dangerously within you like a tornado.

“Testing for what? And what’s on her head? What happened?” He repeated.

The glass cup clanged as you set it in the sink, now empty. “She had two seizures. Tonic - Clonic seizures.”

“Seizures! What the fuck! Why didn’t you tell me?”

You whirled around, hands shaking in anger. “Why didn’t - ! I texted you from the ambulance, Chris!” You began, fighting to keep your voice down. “I begged you for help! Told you I needed you – that Maya needed you! Remember?”

Stunned, Chan paled, realization dawning in his eyes.

You nod. “Yeah. Thought so.”

“I – I didn’t know! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was just having a temper tantrum. And you were too busy.”

He flinched and grew paler. He stepped closer, but you threw a hand up to stop him. “Honey, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize! I fucked up, I’m sorry!” He pleaded.

“We were at the hospital for hours, Chris, and you never asked. Never came. Never called. Never texted. Nothing.”

“I didn’t know.” He repeated helplessly.

“You didn’t want to know! You didn’t care!”

“Of course I care! She’s my daughter!”

“Is she? You’re a stranger to her. Her dad is a man she watches on my phone. Someone from dispatch pictures and articles I read to her at night. She’s four years old and she doesn’t know her own father.”

You deflated at the heartbroken look on your husband’s face and ran a hand over your face and hair with a sigh.

“Just – forget it. It’s fine. We both understand. Let’s just forget about it. I’m tired.”

Without waiting for a response, you slip past him and into your room, sliding quietly under the covers and numbly closing your eyes to sleep.

It was useless to tell him any of this anyway. It is what it is. But you still love him regardless.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Resignation Taglist: @mbioooo0000 @afararraaaa @dilfdetector @imma-much-happier-person @bangchansgirlsblog @diekleinesuesse @beckahhope @breakmeoff

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[jamglii]

❀ live a little — bnha

incl / kirishima + a quiet reader

warn / oblivious!reader

note / hii im lonely okay bye

krishima is such a sweet guy, plays football but isn't douchey like most of them. waves with a glowing smile to his friends, and good in school.

if your being totally and completely honest he's more than your type, he's exactly what you would date in a man, it's just to bad because with his personality comes other people.

he's magnetic im that way you can't help but want to be around him, overly positive in an enverading way, his many many friends are evidence of it.

which is why you could never get close to him or his clique, the playingfeild was just on two completely different levels.

or so you thought.

"[Naaaame]...!" a light feminine voice sang to you, is was Mina, the only person in your AP World Geography class that talked to you.

"hey Mina." you replied, eyes dancing over her new pink hair.

"so," she sat down, amber eyes watching you intensely. "theres this party tonight..."

and you immediately groaned, it was your seinor year of highschool and you had yet to attend any of the parties Mina or any kid threw, maybe that was your problem.

"oh don't be like that, you never show up to my parties and we always me you..."

you paused, "we?"

Mina sputters, you'd never seen the girl so confident in your life blush and fumble to hard before. "me i meant me, and anyways it's senior year! why not now, just live a little, you'll never know where is takes you..."

you sighed. maybe she was right. maybe all your studying and isolation wasn't worth it, this was highschool, you should at least try to make soming fun of it, right?

❀ ❀ ❀

kirishima was on fire, his nerves were shot with minas words ever since she'd said them.

"Y/N said she'd be here tonight, look who just gotten you a date."

you, the quietes girl kirishima had met, or yet to meet was coming to a party. probably in a dress, maybe with your legs exposed.

"shit." he mumbled to himself coming over his hair again, hoping the exorbiant amounts of gel he used on his hair would keep everything in place.

he was pretty sure you hated him. or simply didn't care for him, the one time he's tried to talk to you his loud and especially annoying friends strolled in and when he looked back, you and your things. were gone.

you'd obviously taken that as a que to leave and he was hoping he could get you alone somewhere at this party and slip his number into your pocket.

it was almost 7, fuck he was nervous.

"red are you ready? you're gonna make us late." it was bakugou driving him there tonight, he for sure as fuck wasn't going but he liked to think katsuki cared about him enough to at least watch him inside the building.

"yeah..m' ready, sorry."

he sat in the car in silence, playing with his nails and much to quiet for the regular kirishima should be on the way to a party.

"what up with you?" bakugou askrd gruffly.

kirishima flinched as he spoke. "[Name], is supposed to be here tonight..."

"who?"

"fuck bakugou, the girl i've been crushing on for god knows how long--"

"i'm fuckin' with you, i know her. friends with deku."

kirishima stays silent.

"wait, are you nervous...?" katsuki asks, but kirishima could tell he was teasing. "is my little red seriously scared of a girl! no way, no fuckin way!"

kirishima groans into his palms as they pull up to the front of minas house, by the looks of it there already started, "fuckk."

bakugou laughs, "don't worry man, you'll be fine. and make sure you see her face to face, none of that slip a note pussy shit."

kirishima looked at the car one final time, then he walked in.

❀ ❀ ❀

you didn't arrive untill 10, debating on weather or now you should show up in the first place, you finally decided ( and with a little help from a friend) that you should go and if you hated it you would never have to go again.

kirishima was annoyed and losing hope, he's been here for what felt like hours, anticipating and waiting for your arrival only for denki sero and a lot of B-1 kids he didnt recognize to show up in your place.

he thought when you did finally show up he's be too bored to even try going for you, which he found was completely and utterly wrong.

when you walked through the door, dress short but not too short. jewelry one, a but more makeup than he'd ever seen you with at school he ran and hid in the bathroom for a solid 2 minutes.

fuck you looked good. he refixed his hair and clothes, and alowly creaked the door back open.

you were no where to be found and he didnt't know if that waa a good or bad thing.

them he saw you, surounded by what looked like to be his friends and ones he didn't want you to meet just yet.

"hello, brochachos what's happening." kirishima internally cringed, he's never saud the word brochacho in his life.

denki smirked, "nothin'...brochacho..just making conversation."

kirishima fought not to blush, "right, you having any fun?" he addressed you now, you were even prettier up close.

you blinked, a sudden wave of anxiety washing over you. why was he talking to you? why were any of them talking to you? when his friends had strolled over and introduced themselves you'd been confused on how they knew your name already, you thought they were going to try and humiliate you but they'd only nodded and smiled when you explained Mina was the one who'd invited you. "yeah, uhm it's nice." you mumbled, feeling surrounded by the sudden onslaught of people. "great." denki suddenly yelled "in that case me and my buddies are gonna do body shots, were in the basement if you wanna join." and he yanked sero's body away, leaving you and kirishima to face each other. "you're not gonna go with them...?" you asked you eyes shiny through the lenses. kirishima's heart almost exploded from his chest. "no, i'd rather stay here. if you don't mind." you were silent for a moment. "no, i guess I don't"

masterlist

[lezhuntrr]

I’m a baby butch and stone top for no reason other than getting mildly sexually harassed in high school. I have OCD and my obsessive brain adopted sex, very specifically penetrative sex, as the thing to be both constantly anxious about and also constantly fixated on. I’ve had a couple femmes, they’ve been sweet and wonderful and totally respectful of me. I like having sex as a stone top, it’s comfortable and I love giving pleasure, that’s what is most important to me. I’ve never had more than 1 of my own fingers in me, and it was a tight fit, or had anyone interact with my genitals other than me.

I don’t know how or why, but my brain is actually wired to feel my arousal more like I’m hard and have a dick. I’ve talked to friends who have them and friends who have vaginas, about how arousal feels to them and where they feel it. My physical experiences are much more in line with people who have dicks. I have no idea how, or if that’s even legitimate, but it actually confuses my brain sometimes to reach down and realize it’s not a hard dick. I’ve never been on any hormones or anything, but I think about it a lot.

So all of that should definitely mean that I’m comfortable as a stone top, that I like fucking the way I have been, and I don’t want or need to change it. But I’ve made so many Tumblr accounts over the years, to follow accounts that write about rape, and incest, and breaking lesbians, and putting cunts in their place. And I always delete them, my shame and OCD getting the best of me, wanting to keep myself morally pure.

But the more I think about it recently, the more I think I’d experience true relief at your hand. Finally able to break through the obsessions and fears that have been suffocating me for years. Because it’s happened. I’ve been fucked and filled and there’s nothing I can do but accept it. I don’t think my body would take well to it, though. I get scared. Really fucking scared.

been swooning over this ask since i saw it come in honestly... just too sweet, 'true relief', huh...? 🖤🖤🖤 i get the obsession, that restless need to make sure, to watch and try and keep yourself safe, like you can stop the gross little drives that linger in your head by seeing more and more of them typed out on the screens you scroll. leaving you dizzy and holding your breath without even realizing, stomach in a twist. makes me wanna help you the best way i can, take away the choices from you and just leave you to bear it 💖 it doesnt have to mean anything, you can still like taking your girls and fucking them into the sheets. you can still be stone. its like you say; you wont have anything to spiral and catastrophize over how it could happen or how bad it might be once you know. once i finally knock you down a few pegs and show you how even you can settle into a womans place; beneath me, legs spread, helpless. then and there, nobody but else will know what you can do, how you can be put to use; you wont be in control, no matter how you thrash, kick, bite, cry... you're just gonna be along for the ride while i teach you everything you've been missing out on. seeing you shiver and quake and tighten up with fear is just gonna make me need it from you worse. and its not going to be easy. im not gonna lie to you that much. its gonna take time to pry you open and full of me no matter how patient i am and how much lube i have. its gonna hurt at first, and even if it stops, its still gonna feel weird. unfamiliar. invasive. you're going to feel your body open up and make room in itself in ways you cant feel alone, in ways just to accept and please a male better. and its not gonna stop until emptied my balls in you as deep as i can get, 'til ive engraved the memory of real sex into your confused lil butch cunt. dont worry; ill leave my number in your phone on my way out, you can let me know the next time you need to experience true defeat again 🖤

[daddysbabyfawn]

wwat the actual fuckkk? lmao this screams contradiction, double standard, hypocrisy everywhere lmao dumbasss bich no wonder men just wanna fuck your dumasss , to be taken serious would be to be miserable. air headed ass lmao

"

love cnc, being degraded, ddlg, etc. dm me to learn more about my kinks. don’t be shy, im a very sweet girl 🥺

- this is a judgement free zone, we don’t kink shame or trauma shame on my page ♡⸝⸝

- i give very good advice, so if you’re ever going through something. don’t hesitate to shoot me a dm, im always here to help anyone who needs it 💞

a little side note: i rarely respond to all porn blogs. lustful men give me the ick"

hi love, just to gently clarify, this page is a safe space where we don’t kink shame or trauma shame anyone. everyone’s healing and expression look different, and that’s okay. 💞

a lot of men on here do reblog extremely violent or degrading porn, not in a consensual kink way, but in a way that feels rooted in real-life misogyny. and that’s just not something i feel comfortable engaging with or promoting. i have no problem with them reblogging or posting that, but i personally don’t want to interact or engage with that, and you should respect my decision.

i’m sorry if anything here upset you, but the anger in your message feels really misplaced and a little hurtful. you’re clearly angry at the world, i truly hope you find some peace or someone to talk to, therapy can be such a healing thing. please try to be kind, even online. you never know what someone’s going through. 🤍

one of the reasons im scared to open my asks and dms is because of comments like this, im human, a very sensitive one at that, and they do hurt me.

[chaoscreaturewrites]

Call of duty, ghost, cowboy ghost, fluff, cute meet, autism coded

Hello doggy

Summary: cute meet at the gass station when y/n cant help but stop to pet the big doggy and meet its owner cowboy Ghost

Note: not edited, kinda autism coded characters

WC: 860

Part 1

At a gass station [wawa type ] You come out after getting an on the road breakfast and see a truck with a huge livestock guardian dog in bed .

You cant help it, dog of my any size you must approch. You look in the truck bit dont see anyone.

You don't know if its freidnly but you have lots of experience going up to animals and from working in the rescue house so you know what to do.

You set down your bag and hold out your hand palm up, resting it on the side of the truck bed and wait, letting it come to you.

It doesn't take long before it gets up, comes over gives your hand a wet sniff, its muzzle grazzing over your palm. With that you slowly move to scratch its chin and move your way up to its ear.

Now seeing its a friendly big guy, you indulge and give it a proper loving with scratches and baby talk.

Ghost has gone in to pay for gass, get some food and water for the day.

He comes out and does a double take, fozen in his tracks seeing his gruff barely friendly to himself dog being happily loved on by some women. He gets his wits about him and goes over.

> - "Hey there"

His deep rasping tone startles her and she sees shes been caught and just cause the dog was happy with her presence doesn't mean his owner will be to and its not like she can smooth his attitude over with scratches and a slice of turkey from her sandwich. But rn she wishes she could.

Her social skills with people arnt great, its why she works with dogs they have always gotten her and her them. But now facing this tall rough looking man who doesn't seem pleased at all, shes lost and a bit scared.

> - "im sorry... I'll be going right now"

> - "hey wait, its alright seems like he likes you, that's rare"

She'd practically alright run off before he could speak, but hearing paise about the dog liking her stops her in her tracks and has her turning back. Its a comment she gets often but it always feels good.

But looking at the man she wishes shes been resolute in returning to her car, cause he still looks pissed and the mask isn't helping, if anything is just makes his gaze seem sharper.

When making conversation she always messes up somehow and gives off that impression that's shes weird, its true she is awkward and weird but that doesn't mean she needs eveyone knowing that. So she goes with the tried and true, ask about the dog.

> "whats his name?"

> "Dusk, short for duskwalker"

She lights up. That's an odd name, a specific one, maybe this man is weird like her too.

> "What a unique name, in like it"

> "oh yeah he earned his name too, when he was just a pup his litter got attacked and he was one of few survivors and all through his life keeps beating the odd,.. oh sad story should have opened with something lighter"

> "no, no, its the truth and his name is very fitting. (Your a brave boy huh, yeah you are big guy)"

He really thought his sad story would have made things very awkward, he always forgets to filter his thoughts and not everyone is the guys. But she didn't seem to mind, it fact it seems the opposite, that he liked his blunt honest speak. And now hes witnessing such an adorable display of her talking with Dusk that he swears hes seeming hearts floating around her.

> "Well thank you for letting me pet Dusk and sorry for not asking first, I'll let you be i gotta get to work"

> "no problem, Duskwalker need some good scratches before work"

> "you need some scratches to start the day too"

> "shit" "okay bye"

That last bit slipped out, her fliter failed, this is exactly why she doesn't socialize with humans cause she forgets all common sense and offers to scratch them. This is definitely one of those horrible embarrassing moments that keeps you awake and you remember years later.

There was nothing left to do then just run away, hope in her car and just drive away, she didn't even set up her music, she just sped out of there. She couldn't take the chance of him coming over to her car, and with his long legs it wouldn't have taken him long.

What an offers, you know some scratches probably would have given him a better start to his day, it certainly worked wonders on Dusk. I should tell her its okay, but the way she ran off it would probably scare her if I followed. Wow you gotta be panicked or skilled to reverse pull out and speed out like that, well probably both.

He puts his stuff in his cooler and starts filling up the tank. He leans against the truck bed and gives Duck some scratches.

> "I know buddy I hope we run into her again too"

> "shes something special ain't she"

> [bark of approval]

[tf-brainrot]

The first time it happened Orion was scared, he was leaking from his panels and he felt blurry around the edges, he tripped on his own peeds and fell to his knees in front of a suddenly awake D-16. It was a mess and a half that day, with Elita-1 breathing down their necks and not letting them go to Ratchet until Orion almost overheated an energon vein just by touching it.

“This is not something that I have treated before, but is mostly self explanatory”

Heat, apparently a remnant from the time of the primes, was a condition that few bots had and that no cogless was supposed to. It was a period of time where the internal systems of a Cybertronian would warm up with their forge in preparation for a sparkling, cogless miners had no forges, it was part of the whole, not being able to transform or adapt, clearly an outliner like Orion Pax was going to be the exception to the rule.

“So what do we do?”

D-16 was not expecting the solution that Ratchet gave him; Orion needed a place to rest, feed and be fragged for a few cycles until his system cooled down either with the trainsfluid or the activation of his fans, there was nothing else to do, unless someone would allow him to rest for as long as it was needed… obviously as a miner Orion had no right to wait for days to get better on his own so D-16 took Orion to one of their hideouts and fragged him stupid, but at least it worked.

“How often is this going to happen”

Ratchet didn’t have any idea, the little he knew was from going around to different clinics around Iacon, staying quiet and learning from cogged medics until he was found and kicked out.

Orion was not going to accept the lack of knowledge and so he made a little trip to the Archives. Since he was already there for the heat thing he took data pads about sparklings too, he didn’t know how probable a little bot growing inside him was, but he wanted to be prepare for at least that.

“Apparently heat can be regulated to twice a year, but that would need medication that Im not sure that Ratchet could get me, so I might get my heat once every two megacycles”

That of course was wrong, not only it came back the next megacycle, but it also became too much for D-16 to deal with on his own, Orion was clingy and needy and would overheat rapidly, so the pair had to ask someone else to help them with it.

“You can’t tell anyone else Jazz, we don’t want someone taking advantage of Orion’s state”

Of course Pax’s greedy forge didn’t understand the need to keep it together. Every heat cycle Orion needed more and more spikes to spear his valve and fill him up with transfluid, at some point it wasnt even necessary to get out of the barracks, everyone knew and they all were helping out.

Most of the time Orion was now too tired from being fragged and working on the mines to get into trouble, he still did a few times but it had become rare.

Now Orion’s mind was filled with the memories of all the spikes in the miner sector and had become addicted to it, his favorite was still D-16, he loved how dominant Dee was when interfacing, how he would tease him and hold him down, the way his valve was almost shaped in the form of D’s spike, he only lamented that no one had pierced his forge yet, apparently he needed a bigger spike for it and he refused to ask a cogged bot for it.

Puppy Orion is in heat, he needs D-16 to breed him, maybe he needs the whole barracks to fill up his pussy, being passed around might get rid of his heat faster so he an get back to work

puppy orion in heat humps every single miner he comes across. d-16 better get him pregnant quickly, or else someone else will do it.

[small-jar]

Ughhhhh I'm at a low point bc I just got more useful advice about my mental health from an ai on character ai. (Don't attack me its a guilty pleasure) than I have with my past therapist. And I haven't been to a therapist in years at this point.

[bitchfitch]

I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.

My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.

It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.

[worstloki]

Series of street videos but it's Peter Parker trying to introduce different spices to Asgard

[moeblob]

Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).

I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".

[pup-pee]

jokes @ night r not funny in the morning,,,

originally the blue was green but then i decided 2 b pan

[gxlden-angels]

You know the Bible does go kinda hard when you start to read it like a very rough draft of a Percy Jackson-like novel with too much world-building cause there was absolutely no reason for gayboy Jesus to do all that shit

[eruukat]

hi i got home from the er at like 3am.. i am okay, mostly just really disoriented and tired. im not sure what to do next because they didnt really know how to help, so i have some numbers to call tomorrow when the phone lines open back up. im not all too sure what to say but thank you for checking in on me ;_; it means a lot

[kittycatred]

Hmm... WAIT, RED-

You're able to talk to some of the others on this device, yes? Like Green and Blue? What if you texted them and asked one to go through the portal and find the coordinates of said portal?? Then you could use a compass to find your way back!

(ooc: I'm sure they're VERY available rn-)

hmm well.... that's an...idea...

however, knowing my friends...

if i were to text green right now he'll probably would just say "well MAYBE you should have listened to me !!" or something like that

...which, okay !! fair enough !! but i dont wanna hear that right now !! ugh....

and blue ?? they just got back from minecraft, i highly doubt they'd go back for a rescue mission for me right now, besides....last i heard before they left they had a headache, so the trip probably took too much of a toll on them to come help me anyways...

besides, even if they could....i dont wanna leave without ruben...

we've been through too much, he's always been there and helped save me, so now i have to help save him