#i would ask someone for help but i can't really think of anything that would really help
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saikenakoego · 2 days ago
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Last one before I try doing it with another character (and before i force myself to get back to work on art and stuff lol)
With the usual lady herself. The scourge of the undead and the paranormal alike. Hunter of monsters. Breaker of bones (and hearts). EATER OF RARE HAMBURGERS.
The unwilling vampire, Sammy!
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv This gal! vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
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This one is really long, so I'll be dividing them by sections like the original!
Appearance
1. What is your favorite physical trait that you possess?
SM: If I could, I'd be feeling flustered right now. But since I can, I'll just say something at random.
SM: ...
SM: Hair.
2. What would you wear if they told you you had to gussy up?
SM: ...
SM: I AM gussied up.
3. Is there anything about your appearance that you would change if possible?
SM:
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SM: Hope that answers your question.
4. Do you have a favorite material that you like to wear?
SM: Denim or leather. Easy to wash, hardy enough. Hides bloodstains.
5. What's your opinion on scars?
SM: I miss them.
6. How much do you take interest in trends?
SM: More than I'd like to. Apex predators have to stay at the top of the game.
SM: Oh, you mean fashion trends? About the same. Even if I don't feel anything, I want to look my best when I put the bloodsuckers back in their graves.
7. Is there someone you try to look similar to?
SM: Myself. From about 2 years ago.
8. Do you have a physical trait that you're known for?
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SM: Take a guess.
9. What do you smell like?
SM: Wouldn't you like to know. Good enough, is what I'll say.
10. If you could splurge on a particular garment, what would it be?
SM: Sunglasses. Or a new jacket. Anything that can help keep me cool.
11. Is your favorite color a color you wear often?
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SM: Yeah.
12. Have you gone through major stylistic or physical changes?
SM: I guess you could say somethin' like that.
13. What is something you would refuse to wear?
SM: Anything degrading.
14. Is there a style you're afraid you can't pull off?
SM: Average.
15. Would you wear something someone else picked for you?
SM: Silver picked this outfit for me. It's easy to move in and looks good, so I don't mind.
16. Is your appearance more telling or deceiving?
SM: What a way to ask about it. Hopefully the first one.
17. What are your thoughts on wearing costumes?
SM: It's been tainted for me, the whole "human pretending to be a monster" thing. But if it's for innocent fun, I try not to mind.
18. Do you have a favorite outfit?
SM: I feel like I already answered this.
19. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be?
SM: Crucifix. Practical reasons.
Objects
1. Is there an item you don't like to live without?
SM: Crucifixes. Have to keep them upside down, though.
2. What gift would you give to someone you didn't like, but felt obligated to?
SM: Something as cheap as generic as possible. A card or something.
3. What object is likely to catch your attention?
SM: The answer is inside you. Literally.
4. Is there an item you liked that you can't get back?
SM: Don't think so. None that I recall.
5. Would you ever try to haggle?
SM: Depends. For what?
6. Is there something you're proud to own?
SM: I can't feel pride anymore. But I used to brag a lot about my cd collection.
7. Do you ever spend more time than you have?
SM: I have all the time in the world. But I do spend more time than I should...
8. What would it take for you to give up an item you like?
SM: A stake, or cash. Depends.
9. Do you prefer to give or receive gifts?
SM: As long as they're useful, receive.
10. Is there a type of object you don't like?
SM: Anything that can cause bodily harm. And I don't mean to myself.
11. What might an acquaintance think is a good gift for you?
SM: Burger.
12. Do you personify objects?
SM: No, but I know someone who does.
13. What do you most enjoy shopping for?
SM: Nothing in particular.
14. Is there an item you're embarrassed to own or want?
SM: Again, I can't feel embarrassment anymore.
15. Would you prefer something bought or made personally?
SM: Something that functions.
16. Are you willing to ask for things?
SM: Who isn't?
17. What is most important to you when shopping?
SM: Keeping an eye on the budget. Unlike some people I know.
Food and Drink
1. What flavor would you say your personality is?
SM: Bitter.
2. Would you prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?
SM: Cooking. No one seems to get it right for me.
3. Is there a food or drink you're unwilling to try?
SM: Their... "specialty".
4. How big is your appetite?
SM: One appetite too big.
5. Do you consider eating fun?
SM: These questions make me angry.
6. Would you consider eating something you didn't like just to appease someone?
SM: No.
7. Is there food that has made you sick?
SM: Not anymore.
8. What is your favorite food group?
SM: Food has groups?
SM: ...Why?
9. Do you like to try new foods?
SM: I sure hope I did.
10. What is a childhood meal you cherish?
SM: ...Burger.
11. Are you food-motivated?
SM: ...
SM: Really?
12. Which meal time is your favorite?
SM: The final kind.
13. How much do you care about wasting food?
SM: Very. My mother raised me well.
14. Do you prefer restaurant or home-cooked food?
SM: Restaurant. For the time being.
15. What food or drink do you consider a treat?
SM: Burger...
16. Is there a food texture you don't like?
SM: Liquid, viscous and slightly oily.
17. What kind of drinks do you prefer?
SM: Water.
Weather and Nature
1. What would you do if you were suddenly caught in the rain?
SM: Find a place with a roof.
2. Have you ever had a meaningful encounter with an animal?
SM: If I have, I can't recall.
3. What season would you say you're most similar to?
SM: ...What?
4. Is there a natural phenomenon that scares you?
SM: I don't feel fear. But for sake of the question, I'd rather not be involved with any right now.
5. Have you ever had an animal phase?
SM: Don't think so.
6. Do you enjoy sky-gazing?
SM: I don't mind it when Johnny asks me to join him. That's about it.
7. Do you have a good sense of direction?
SM: Yeah. Par for the course.
8. What type of environment do you like best?
SM: Not too hot, not too cold.
9. Are you good with animals?
SM: Animals tend to run away from me. Don't blame 'em.
10. How would you react to snow?
SM: Just 'cuz Vegas is in a desert doesn't mean it doesn't snow. The place is literally called Nevada, por dios.
11. What part of nature do you most resonate with?
SM: The supernatural has no place within the natural world.
12. Could you survive on your own in the wilderness for a week or more?
SM: Depends on the place. Probably.
13. What element best represents you?
SM: Darkness.
14. Do you prefer hot or cold weather?
SM: Cold. Reasonably cold.
15. Is there a creature that scares you?
SM: No.
16. What celestial body interests you the most?
SM: The sun.
17. Are you good with plants?
SM: About as good as anyone.
18. How willing would you be to nap outside?
SM: Unwilling.
19. What animal would you say best represents you?
SM: A mosquito.
Community and Relationships
1. Do you prefer company or solitude when sick?
SM: I don't get sick.
SM: ...
SM: But Silver being a pest during... that, wasn't so bad.
2. What is your favorite kind of social event?
SM: None.
3. How comfortable would you be with singing and dancing in front of everyone?
SM: I would not care. Though it would be better if I got something out of it.
4. Are you upfront about your feelings?
SM: If I had any.
5. Who would you seek first if you needed medical help?
SM: Nobody. For their sake.
6. How willing would you be to go to a party with people you don't know?
SM: If it leads to something useful, willing. Otherwise, rather not.
7. Who are you most honest with?
SM: Silver.
8. How likely is it for you to initiate a friendship?
SM: Unlikely.
9. Where is your comfort place?
SM: ...Home.
10. Is there a habit you've learned from someone else?
SM: Less learned and more forcefully conditioned into me.
11. Do you think you have people who would worry about you if you got injured?
SM: Yeah. Somehow.
12. How would you react to being put in a position of leadership?
SM: I don't like it.
13. Would you be good at providing medical assistance?
SM: Would a starving bear be good at it? Carajo.
14. Who would you say knows you best?
SM: Silver. Maybe a little too much.
15. Is there a person you would turn to for backup in a fight?
SM: The boys. Either of them, for different reasons.
16. Who would you most like to sign your cast if you got one?
SM: If I were able to get a cast? Everyone, probably.
17. How well do you work with others?
SM: Well enough.
18. What is your favorite form of affection?
SM: Minding your business.
19. Do you enjoy celebrating holidays?
SM: I really don't care.
20. What would it take for you to get into a fight?
SM: Not much.
Mind, Body and Soul
1. What is a habit you have that others might find cute?
SM: I don't think anyone would ever find me cute.
2. Are there any particular sounds you're fond of?
SM: Heartbeats.
3. Are you more prone to fight or flight?
SM: Fight.
4. Do you believe in myths and fairytales?
SM: Do you?
5. What words could tear you down?
SM: None.
6. How well do you act under pressure?
SM: Pressure isn't something I'm familiar with.
7. Are you good at practicing self-care?
SM: That's not a luxury I can afford.
8. What do you find most comforting?
SM: Not comforting, but I'd rather be left alone.
9. Do you have any allergies?
SM: No.
10. Are you a light, medium or heavy sleeper?
SM: I don't need sleep.
11. Do you have a strong willpower?
SM: Given how everyone around me remains safe and ignorant, I'd say yes.
12. Are you more likely to give advice or take it?
SM: Johnny seems to ask me for advice often, and I can't understand why.
13. How do you relax?
SM: I don't.
14. Is there a secret you long to hear?
SM: The method to end this madness.
15. Do you have a sleep routine?
SM: I used to.
16. Would you feel confident in a fight?
SM: Why would you be in a fight otherwise?
17. Are you more energized in the morning, afternoon or at night?
SM: Night. Self explanatory.
18. How often do you have nightmares?
SM: ...Often.
19. Are there scents you dislike?
SM: Blood.
20. Is there a fear you'd like to learn to overcome?
SM: I fear nothing.
21. If you had to act in a play, what role do you think you'd perform best?
SM: Background character. A tree or something.
22. Do you have a high pain tolerance?
SM: Pain is a quality of the living.
Hobbies and Activities
1. What kind of games do you most enjoy playing?
SM: Silver introduced me to Castlevania. Good game.
2. Do you have a secret hobby?
SM: Its a secret.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
SM: The talent to end this quickly.
4. Is there an activity you used to enjoy that you now dislike?
SM: ...Hard to decide.
5. Which do you prioritize more, work or hobbies?
SM: Work.
6. Do you work better with creative or technical endeavors?
SM: Direct endeavors.
7. What is a talent you're proud of?
SM: The talent to brutalize all these parasites.
8. Are you more outdoorsy or indoorsy?
SM: ...
SM: "Indoorsy".
9. What is a topic you'd be exited to talk about?
SM: Again. Can't feel excitement.
10. Is there a skill that you don't know you're bad at?
SM: I-- What?
11. Do you have any injury story?
SM: Fine. Since you're so insistent. Let's see, I've been stabbed and maimed multiple times. I've had my limbs torn one by one. I've been cut in half. Decapitated. Had my bones broken. One time I had to gouge my own eyes out. Had my tongue pulled off. My neck broken. I've been ripped apart, and one other time I was eviscerated. Then I got flayed. Had my skull caved in, my mandible displaced. And lately I had my brains blown out with my own friend's gun.
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SM: Oh, and this one time a creep bit me and drank my blood. But really, it didn't hurt. Happy now?
12. What kind of music do you enjoy?
SM: I used to like pop. But lately, I've been subjected to hours of rock music by Silver.
SM: It's not so bad. The guttural screams keep my... mind off things.
13. Have you ever made something for yourself or someone else?
SM: I used to cook often.
14. What is your opinion on cheating in games?
SM: A necessary evil sometimes.
15. How good are you at following through on projects?
SM: VERY good.
16. What's an activity that reminds you of someone else?
SM: That's... I don't wanna answer that.
17. Do you prefer music or silence?
SM: Its complicated.
18. What is something you wouldn't wanna talk about?
SM: I don't want to talk about it.
🌸My Super Long Hopefully Fun Character Ask Game:
👕Appearance
What is your character's favorite physical trait they possess?
What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?
Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible?
Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?
What are your character's opinion on scars?
How much interest does your character take in trends?
Is there someone your character tries to look similar to?
Does your character have a physical trait that they're known for?
What does your character smell like?
If your character could splurge on a particular garment, what would it be?
Is your character's favorite color a color they wear often?
Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?
What is something your character would refuse to wear?
Is there a style your character is afraid they can’t pull off?
Would your character wear something someone else picked out for them?
Is your character's appearance more telling or deceiving?
What are your character's thoughts on wearing costumes?
Does your character have a favorite outfit?
If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?
📦Objects
Is there an item your character doesn't like to leave without?
What gift would your character give to someone they didn't like but felt obligated to?
What type of object is likely to catch your character's attention?
Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back? 
Would your character ever try to haggle?
What is something your character is proud to own?
Does your character ever spend more than they have?
What would it take for your character to give up an item they really like?
Does your character prefer to give or receive gifts?
Is there a type of object your character doesn’t like?
What might an acquaintance think is a good gift for your character?
Does your character personify objects?
What does your character most enjoy shopping for?
Is there an item your character is embarrassed they own or want?
Would your character prefer something bought or made personally?
Is your character willing to ask for things?
What is most important to your character when shopping?
🍽️Food and Drink
What flavor would your character say their personality is?
Would your character prefer baking, cooking or mixing drinks?
Is there a food or drink your character is unwilling to try?
How big is your character's appetite?
Does your character consider eating fun?
Would your character eat or drink something they didn't like to appease someone?
Is there food that has made your character sick?
What is your character's favorite food group?
Does your character like to try new foods?
What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?
Is your character food motivated?
Which mealtime is your character's favorite?
How much does your character care about wasting food?
Does your character prefer restaurant food or home cooked food?
What food or drink does your character consider a treat?
Is there a food texture your character doesn't like?
What kind of drinks does your character prefer?
🌤️Weather and Nature
What would your character do if they were suddenly caught in the rain?
Has your character had a meaningful encounter with an animal?
What season would your character say they're most similar to?
Is there a natural phenomenon that scares your character?
Has your character ever had an animal phase?
Would your character enjoy sky gazing?
Does your character have a good sense of direction?
What type of environment does your character like best?
Is your character good with animals?
How would your character react to snow?
What part of nature would your character most resonate with?
Could your character survive in the wilderness on their own for a week or more?
What element best represents your character?
Does your character prefer hot or cold weather?
Is there a creature that scares your character?
What celestial body would interest your character the most?
Is your character good with plants?
How willing would your character be to nap outside?
What animal would your character say best represents them?
🤝Community and Relationships
Does your character prefer company or solitude when sick?
What is your character's favorite kind of social event?
How comfortable would your character be singing and dancing in front of others?
Is your character upfront about their feelings?
Who would your character first seek if they needed medical help?
How willing would your character be to go to a party with people they don't know?
Who is your character most honest with?
How likely is it for your character to initiate a friendship?
Where is your character's comfort place?
Is there a habit your character has that they learned from someone else?
Does your character have people they think would worry about them if they got injured?
How would your character react to being put in a position of leadership?
Would your character be good at providing medical assistance?
Who would your character say knows them best?
Is there a person your character would turn to for backup in a fight?
Who would your character most want to sign their cast if they got one?
How well does your character work with others?
What is your character's favorite form of affection?
Does your character enjoy celebrating holidays?
What would it take for your character to get into a fight?
💓Mind, Body and Soul
What is a habit your character has that others might find cute?
Are there particular sounds your character is fond of?
Is your character more prone to fight or flight?
Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?
What words could tear your character down?
How well does your character act under pressure?
Is your character good at practicing self-care?
What scents does your character find comforting?
Does your character have any allergies?
Is your character a light, medium or heavy sleeper?
Does your character have strong willpower?
Is your character more likely to give advice or seek it?
How does your character relax?
Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear?
Does your character have a sleep routine?
Would your character feel confident in a fight?
Is your character more energized in the morning, afternoon or at night?
How often does your character have nightmares?
Are there scents your character dislikes?
Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome?
If your character had to act in a play what role would they think they’d best perform?
Does your character have a high pain tolerance?
🎲 Hobbies and Activities
What kind of games does your character most enjoy playing?
Does your character have a secret hobby?
What is a talent your character wishes they had?
Is there an activity your character used to enjoy that they now dislike?
Which does your character try to prioritize more, work or hobbies?
Does your character work better with creative or technical endeavors?
What is a talent that your character is proud of?
Is your character more outdoorsy or indoorsy?
What is a topic your character would be excited to talk about? 
Is there a skill your character doesn’t know they’re bad at?
Does your character have any injury stories?
What kind of music does your character enjoy?
Has your character ever made something for themselves or someone else?
What is your character’s opinion on cheating in games?
How good is your character at following through on projects?
What’s an activity that reminds your character of someone else?
Does your character prefer music or silence?
What is a topic your character wouldn't want to talk about?
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faggotisaacfloofs · 2 days ago
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the person who helped today when I fell out of my wheelchair actually did a really great job, so I want to share in case other people wonder what to do. [Note: this is not universal, this is merely a suggestion from one person, every wheelchair user's needs are different! I am a person who uses a manual chair usually pushed by someone else who is also disabled.]
Scenario: you see someone in a wheelchair fall out of their chair, and you have the ability to help.
1. Approach and ask "are you okay?"*
2. Next question if they say no, are vague, or open to continuing conversation** is, "is there anything I can do to help?" Or "what can I do?"
If they say no to help, then that's the end, just leave and go do whatever you were doing!
If they ask for help or say they are mildly injured, ask "what would you like me to do?" And wait for an answer before doing anything! If they seem dazed or confused, they might have hit their head or had another medical event*, or they might just be like that due to regular disability. Be patient.
Do not touch the person unless they say to, or they are like, unconcious in the middle of the road, ya know?? Wheelchair users usually have conditions that mean being handled improperly can severely injure us, you could cause much more damage than the fall.
Some things they might need you to do:
Bring their wheelchair closer (mine went about 5 feet away after it dumped me)
engage the brakes of the wheelchair
hold wheelchair steady if it's an unsteady surface (mud, hill, ramp, wet, etc)
offer an arm for them to hold onto to get up (them grabbing you, not you grabbing them) or move another solid item closer for them to use (i.e. a chair) [only do this if you physically have the ability to!]
If the terrain is rough (i.e. a parking lot), they *might* ask you to push their chair to a more stable area once they are back in their chair
nothing
Something else
Do what they ask, NOT what you think would be helpful. If for some reason you have to do something (i.e. you can't stop oncoming traffic and need to get them out) ASAP, tell them what you plan to do
Keep in mind they might also be D/deaf, have a communication disability, be stunned after the fall, have a head injury, not trust other people, etc. Be patient and treat them as a person with autonomy and agency! They might need to just sit on the ground for a few minutes to recover before trying to get back in their chair. They might want everyone to leave them alone. They might ask you to call someone specific. Their chair might have broken and that can be extremely distressing. All of this is like if your legs spontaneously stop working when you're out and about!
A lot of wheelchair users (NOT ALL) have ways to get into their chair on their own once the chair is close enough and brakes engaged (but it's hard from the ground!). Here's what brakes look like on a lot of manual wheelchairs, in case they ask you to lock the brakes. They're levers on each side and pushing the lever pushes a bar against the wheel to hold it still.
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ID: A manual wheelchair with the brake levels circled in red and labeled "user brake levers"
*There is also the possibility of course that a person fell out of their chair due to a seizure or other medical event, so that is why it is important to ask if they are okay. If you saw them hit their head, tell them so. If they had a medical event, follow protocol for that, I'm not gonna get into it here (thought I could).
**sometimes a person will be clear after the first question i.e. "I'm all good thanks" clearly means they do not need you to ask another question, you can just leave them alone. Keep walking and don't stare. A lot of the time people will be a bit banged up but be totally fine and able to manage on their own.
TLDR: Ask the wheelchair user if they're okay, then what they need, and then do exactly that, including leaving them alone. Thanks!
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sleepyparalysisdmon · 2 days ago
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SVT helping a partner with trauma
Requested? Yes!
Genre: comfort
TW/CW: Implications of trauma
A/N: This will be less of a discussion about traumatic events themselves (if mentioned it’s brief only to give context), but rather the feelings and responses one might have afterwards. Trauma is varied and so is everyone's reactions to it, so I tried to include a variety of scenarios so there’s a little bit of something for everyone. 
A/N #2/Warning: Please use caution when reading if you might find the topic triggering. This is meant to be comforting, but if you find that it isn’t, come back later or skip altogether. 
Seungcheol
Money is an interesting topic between the two of you. At first, he thinks that you just like to keep a tight control over your finances, and he respects it immensely, applauding you for being money-smart. But he notices that you deny yourself a lot of things in an effort to penny pinch, and flat out refuse when he offers to ease your burden on little things like needing to replace something around your apartment or pay a bill that has an upcoming due date. In a vulnerable moment, you tell him the abbreviated version of the story - you depended on someone financially and then they left you with nothing, and you refuse to be stuck in that situation again. From then on he encourages your financial independence and for the most part respects your wishes for him to not spend a lot on you, even if it pains him sometimes. But you best believe the moment you accept it he’s already sliding you his card or heading to the store himself. Wants you to know that you can rely on him, but knows he has to earn that. 
Jeonghan 
You’re a flirt. It’s one of the things that he loves most about you. He's kissed you a few times since starting to date, but he notices how you pull back sooner rather than later, putting space between the two of you. You feel safer with words than you do with touch. He’s okay with that. If you ever try to explain yourself - doesn’t matter if it's a simple ‘I want to wait’, or a more detailed reason - he’ll shake his head. “You come to me if and when you're ready,” he’ll say simply without an ounce of teasing. I do believe that if and when you do approach him, he’ll want to have a not-so-sexy but still very needed conversation to make sure you’re both on the same page and he understands your boundaries. 
Joshua
On the very first date, you tell him you don't drink and don’t really like to be around alcohol. Noted, he thinks, and doesn't order another drink beyond the one he already has in front of him. He also doesn’t have a problem not keeping it at home. However, there’s a social element to drinking that is sometimes unavoidable. He sticks to non-alcoholic drinks with you when you have to go to these events and takes you home before anyone you’re with can be too far gone. You’ll tell him that he can have a drink if he wants and that he doesn't need your permission - but he's supposed to be the one that makes you feel safest, so he’ll shrug it off. He doesn’t miss it. 
Jun 
Absolutely respects your work ethic and even admires it. But sometimes he’s concerned by how you always go in early and stay late, take on way too many responsibilities, and never, ever take a sick day or vacation. When he asks you about it, you simply say that you can’t lose this job. He can sympathize because it would be devastating to not be able to do what he does for a living, but he recognizes that it’s not passion, but rather fear, that drives you to overwork yourself. Does little things like driving you to work so you show up on time rather than super early, or making plans right after work so you can’t stay late. He’ll also book a vacation to somewhere that you just can't refuse. Anything to encourage rest, really. 
Hoshi 
Bless his heart, but he's trying to be funny. He hears you come in and hides behind a door, jumping out at you when you enter the room. Does not expect for you to cry and panic, and cries and panics himself, profusely apologizing. Once you both are calm, he doesn't press for details, accepting your explanation that someone that used to be in your life used to do that sort of thing, but that it wasn't all fun and games. Will never, ever be doing that again, and if you're ever around his group members and they get a bright idea, expect that he'll put a stop to it before it even starts. 
Wonwoo
You’ve lost someone close to you. Whether it was a shock or not, whether you were there or not, doesn’t matter. He’s sympathetic to the trauma of losing someone and knows there isn’t a ton he can do to fix it. But he’ll do the little things. He’ll make sure you eat, even if it’s a little and even if he needs to feed you. He’ll make sure you shower, even if he has to get in and wash your hair for you. He’ll make sure you find a balance between sleep and activity, even if he has to gently drag you outside for some fresh air or carry you to bed himself. Also knows you can't really acknowledge any of it right now, but he’ll keep doing it anyway. 
Woozi
You guys don't fight, well, ever. You both are too laid back. But something big happens and you both have had bad days. Jihoon’s not proud when he loses his temper a bit, shouting. Immediately does not like how you fold into yourself and back away. You’ve confided in him before that your home life involved a lot of arguing growing up. He kind of feels like he’s looking at a kid version of you in the past and it makes him feel nauseous. He takes a deep breath, apologizes, and says that you both should cool down. Later that night, you two sit on the couch, talk it out, and promise to call a timeout next time one of you gets upset. Will absolutely never raise his voice at you again.
DK 
He checks your phone for something, not trying to be invasive, but because you had something he needed. He accidentally stumbles across quite a few reminders that you're way overdue for a check up at the doctor’s office. He apologizes that he was accidentally nosy, but asks if you’ve been able to schedule it yet. He can tell that you’re uncomfortable, bordering on scared at the mention of it. You’ve told him before that you were sick as a child and spent a not-so-insignificant time in the hospital and have since then hated clinical settings. So, so understanding, but also so, so insistent that you should take care of yourself. He’ll take off work in a heartbeat to go with you and hold your hand if it will help. 
Mingyu 
You both are working on a grocery list and you ask him to add another case of bottled water. He looks at you quizzically because you already have an untouched case in the closet and the fridge is stocked. You pause, frowning. “But what if we run out?” You’ll say in a small, worried voice. He knows you’ve lived through a natural disaster or two before you moved here. You don't talk about it much, but he’s seen clips on TV before about what that can be like. He nods. “You’re right. I’ll get another one.” He gets two. That closet will never be empty if it makes you feel better. 
Minghao
You’re getting repeated phone calls from a random number. When you tell him this, at first, he nods, kind of shrugging it off. Spam calls happen all the time. (God only knows I get like ten a day from telemarketers.) Still, he watches your anxiety spike every time it happens and gently presses for a bit of an explanation. You tell him shortly that you’ve gotten harassing phone calls in the past and have had to change numbers a time or two because of it. From that point forward, if he's with you and your phone rings from an unknown number, he's holding his hand out expectantly. Doesn't matter if it’s a telemarketer or not. Will always answer the phone for you or simply get you a new number until you’re comfortable. 
Seungkwan
Listen, I think he's ready to fight any day. He’s kind of surprised when you ask if he wants to meet your parents and especially surprised at how anxious you are about it. He sees why immediately because they aren’t nice people. Tolerates very few negative or demeaning comments directed at you and certainly won't tolerate any displays of violence, so I expect this to be a short visit ending with him deciding it’s time to go. Also won’t accept any apology from you for how they behaved and after some consideration will encourage you to limit contact. 
Vernon
When you tell him early on that you don’t drive, he just shrugs. He’ll take the bus or walk with you any day. But one night, you guys have gone out. When you walk out to go home, you realize it’s raining and that you’ve missed the last bus. Vernon shrugs, saying he’ll just call an uber or taxi. You panic and he’s kind of surprised. Still, he puts his phone back up and waits for the rain to stop with you before walking home. You tell him you got into a car accident years ago and your injuries were minor, but you still don't like driving or riding in cars. You say it’s one of the reasons you live where you do, so you can just walk everywhere. Will always stick by you no matter what mode of transportation you choose. 
Chan 
You express that you don't like your new job and he’s surprised, mostly because you were so excited to start it. You tell him your coworkers are kind of cliquey, and you don't feel like you fit in. He understands, telling you that they don't have to be your friends as you can work with them. Still, you tell him you can handle a bit of rejection, but you're afraid that they might become mean or hostile, like the catty women in the last place you worked. He encourages you to focus on work for now and feel out the situation for a little bit longer. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn't work out because you still have him. Cheesy, I know, but it does make you feel better. 
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storges-oranges · 16 hours ago
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I do think that if you're close to them, Mhin and Vere are the best at figuring out when you're upset or feeling melencholic. But they figure it out differently.
Mhin knows because they are observant and and have a habit of monitoring your behavior and file it away in their mind (and maybe notebooks whos to say really) so they have already identified your nervous/sad ticks before you let out a sigh. They would have ALOT of trouble just... to bring it up to you i think. So they would just... find ways to distract you. By leading you to an alleyway filled with cats and giving you little factoids about cats, plants in Eridia, or anything else. They might try to weave a metaphor in their exposé. Stuff like plants that survive the fogfall by shedding aerial parts and continuing on throughout a cimolex root system of roots and bulbs. And when you inevitably exclaim "like a potato?". They just turn away and chuckle. Before you can revel in this first of its kind achievement, they turn on their heals and invite you to dinner, "since you're so hungry", and they add that a couple of baked potatoes would suffice as payment for the day. You're much more animated as you follow along. Good. Thats how they like you.
Vere figures it out with his keen sense of smell. His way of asking you if you're ok is to remark on the suffocating stench of your misery (not the kind he could put you through. that is to say, the good kind, the only kind, you're his plaything". He also asks if this is your attempt at killing him. He assures you that it wouldn't come close, but he is bothered enough by it to remedy it personally.I think he would try to distract you too. By taking you to see his favorite performers (that luthist really does have talent) or activating your fight or flight instinct. Depends really. If it can be fixed by getting rid of someone, he takes care of it. Brings you their bloody fingers, to offset this uncharacteristic show of empathy. He can't have you going around thinking you'll always be in his good graces you know? If it can be solved with money, he steals it for you. Also brings you fingers, or hands you the coins in a bloody pouch. He fully expects gratitude btw.
Now the rest of the cast also catch on pretty quickly, mind you, i just think these two are the first .
As for Leander, he would also catch on quickly by interacting with you and picking up on subtle clues. If you spent enough time with him you develop a knack for knowing when his mask is thicker than usual. There is just, a glint in his eyes when he speaks about certain things that makes his usual demeanor look... unauthentic. And when you're upset, truly upset, his praticed lines irritate you. You might be tempted to yell at him to leave if he's just going to throw some half hearted words at you, even if those words are tailored to you and your responses.
Tbh i dont think that would ever be enough for him to open up completely, but he might give you a vague, roundabout inch. By, for instance, showing you something and vaguely mentioning that it was crucial in helping him become the man he is today, and that he holds it dear. That its a testament to his resilience, a trait he knows you share.
And while small, and practiced there is a hint of vulnerability there. You know that its the most he could ever give (at least at this point), and it warms your heart. Leander is happy to know that he could help ease your pain a little, but he looks at you and this valuable object and he makes a connection: both you and it have come to him at a time of great need. This connection places yet another green seal on your fate.
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intuitively-her · 3 days ago
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It's time to come back down to Earth. You've had your head in the clouds for way too long now. Something or someone that you're stuck on has you distracted. You haven't been making the best decisions lately. Stop being impulsive and think before you act. It's only creating unnecessary chaos for you. You need to get out of your own way and let go of control for now.
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It's time to accept change. Open your mind to new ways of thinking. You're trying to hold onto something that is not for you anymore. Remember that every ending brings a new beginning. You need to cleanse yourself of anything that reminds you of your past. Get rid old things. Some of you literally need to deep clean your home. Stop keeping up with people from your past. That sh*t does not serve you anymore. Wake up! Your guides want you to know that you are protected at this time. Hand your worries over to them. Pray more often if you feel you need to.
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You are learning to be more nurturing to those around you. You are or need to be keeping up with your prayers, spiritual practices, and self-care. This will bring out a new side of you. You really need to trust your intuition at this time. I am seeing that you will soon be presented with an opportunity to take a leap of faith towards a new beginning. You have to trust yourself though! There will be a lot of eyes on you soon.
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Continue to open your heart to those around you. Release any grudges that you have because you're only hurting yourself. Take more time to nourish the close relationships that you have. Time is precious. Be cautious of getting too caught up in your own world that you forget to live in the present. Give yourself time to rest so that you can be prepared for the next cycle. You deserve it. You have taken on too much and it is time for a cleanse. Allow yourself to focus on new ideas and let your imagination run wild. You may have to try many different techniques to manifest what you desire. It's time to switch it up. Lastly, your guides want you to know that you are being guided and protected, even if you can't see how. There is a lesson, blessing, or miracle in every situation that you've ever faced.🫶🏽
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Something has humbled you recently. I feel like you were forced to let go of something/someone. You thought that this person would always be here for you. For some of you, you may have literally lost someone close to you. If so, my condolences.❤️ Gemini's you need to get it together! I'm sensing a lack of control and discipline here. Stop making impulsive decisions and save your money! It's time to adapt. Your ways of living do not serve you anymore. Invite more optimism into your life. There's more than one way to do things. Stop downplaying your skills and live up to your potential. You are so much better than the things that you settle for! Work on your self-concept. Speak nicely to yourself. Put yourself on a pedestal. You deserve good things!🌸
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It's time to tap into your intuition. Allow others to guide you. You won't always have the answers. Take some time to reflect. It can help you see things that you overlooked or consider something that you never have before. So, take some time to clear your mind. The answers to your questions will come when you stop searching. Pay attention to the guidance being presented right in front of you. You are being asked to embrace this transition. Although it may be painful, this is much needed for you.🩷
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*ONLY TAKE WHAT RESONATES*
🩷Please DO NOT copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!🩷
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vapolis · 20 hours ago
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I really want to meet merc's partner in the story and learn more about them. so many opportunities for angst... but also I can't see merc leaving anybody for them at this point. and I can't imagine this meeting not being a huge pile of misery for both parties. merc is all fucked up and broken and so so different, they have a new life with new people in it and leaving this life behind is not really an option right now. if they meet it will probably hurt this person a lot. like a lot. meeting merc already hurts enough, but seeing what they are rn makes it worse. and merc doesn't even know shit. they don't remember anything. and then it hurts them in turn. and I don't even know if remembering would make it all better or worse.
I really like merc. and I'd like them to remember at least something from their past. at least some bits. to remember what and who they were. I don't know if it would help them, but I think they deserve it. and as much as I am a sucker for orla, I really want merc to be respected more. to be more than a tool. to be a person, whose opinion matters, whose life matters, whose feeling matter. I want them to be loved and wanted, I want someone to care for them, to listen to them, to actually listen to them. merc deserves so fucking much and I would give them the world I swear, I love them so much, none of these people deserve them. most of them wouldn't really care if merc went and died and I hate them for it deeply.
also I really need merc to cry, that's a carnal desire of mine. sex is good but my god this bitch (affectionate) needs to let it all out. too bad there's no one willing to listen to them and crying on the bathroom floor is a mood but not when you have to go and kill someone for orla right after. I don't know if there will be a happy ending for this game but oh god I need it. I would kill for a happier and more mentally stable merc I swear. I know I'm not treating them good either by making them romance jax and orla (and that's with their dog x mistress dynamic going on. god have mercy) but still. I have hopes. I don't know if I am a fool for having them but god. I need things to be good. at some point.
I'm so so sorry for this wall of text but I swear I can't make it better and neither can I express my thoughts coherently. but I just love merc. yeah. thanks.
the meeting/reveal of their former partner will certainly be interesting! I don't want to spoil anything but I think it'll be as confusing and angst inducing as possible.
them remembering stuff however... I'm not sure if that would be good or bad for them but how things are rn I'd say merc remembering more would send them spiraling. more than they already are.
orla and merc are complicated as fuck but probably my fave dynamic and the scenes I'm writing for chapter 5 are already soooo. a little further going into the direction of orla acknowledging merc as someone beyond a tool to wield.
and I think I've answered an ask about whether the ROs would care if merc dies and vaguely rmr saying yes... they're not as indifferent to merc as it feels and we're also only on chapter 5. so lots of moments that bring ros and merc closer are still to happen!
I'm personally excited for things to pick up a little more now and one or two of the things you describe are yet to happen :)
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verycoolusername1 · 5 hours ago
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Maybe It Was Fate
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Summary: During the 'hughesbowl' as fans may call it, you are caught in a trance that is Quinn Hughes... unaware that he is your coworkers' oldest brother.
Quinn Hughes x photographer!reader
A/N: I was debating whether to make this nico or quinn as the love interest and Quinn won in the end(nico does have a cameo however)- This was also supposed to be posted the day of the hughesbowl, but stuff came up so here it is now!!
AND I'M CHANGING THE SCORE IN THIS BECAUSE WHATEVER HAPPENED ON OCTOBER 30TH, 2024 DID NOT HAPPEN WHATSOEVER
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It's a shock to you that you work with professional athletes, considering you hated sports as a kid. Even now, you still don't know what's going on in hockey. With the players too fast around you, it's hard to keep your eye on one player.
It was the 3rd period, the score being 5-3, the Canucks slowly but surely catching up.
You held your camera in hand, watching the big screen to keep focus... that was until someone catched your eye. You couldn't see his last name, only his face and man was he pretty.
He had green eyes flickered like sunlight within the leaves as he looked up. You could run your hand through his brown locks for days if given the chance.
You shook your head, he was most likely a player on and off the ice. You knew that without a doubt, knowing all about Jack's relationship with women(due to being best friends) but you couldn't help but wonder, would it be different with him?
The fans becoming louder as the game came to a close, the devils capturing the win. You snapped your camera a couple of times towards the devils and secretly took more of the mystery man.
You turned your camera off and it held loosely around your neck as you waited outside the locker room, waiting for Jack to take you home.
You had your back towards the door as you flickered through the photos that you took, your cheeks heating up when you saw the man again. He has a 43 just like Luke but you didn't think anything of it, players share the same numbers all the time. It was just a mere coincidence, right?
"You got all my good sides right?" Jack asked, you quickly turned the camera off.
"Jesus Jack, warn me next time gosh." You hit him on the shoulder.
He only shrugged in response. "Can't really text in the locker room."
You rolled your eyes. "You're actually an idiot."
"Only act like it to make you look smart." He muttered under his breath.
"And what are you two arguing about now?" Luke approached the two of you.
"They called me an idiot!" Jack exclaimed.
"They must have been reasonable to do so." Nico chuckled as he walked past you three. "Don't kill eachother please!"
"Make no promises cap!" You snapped a photo as he looked back at you with a smile.
"Oh Y/N! We want you to meet someone." Luke began to drag your arm in the other direction.
"And before you groan out a half assed reply, I think you'll really like him." Jack added.
You were now beginning to regret telling Jack that you wished you could put yourself out there again considering you haven't been on a date in two months due to your conflicting schedule.
"Do you two know him or-" You looked between the two of them.
"Oh yeah we do." Jack answered. "Very well."
"What does that even mean?" You narrowed your eyes at him, Jack chuckles in reply.
"Trust me, you'll like him." Luke eased your worries.
You finally stopped and Luke dropped your hand as you realized.
"He plays for the canucks? They just lost tonight. I'm sure the last thing he would want to do is go on a date with someone that works for the devils." You explained.
"Well he likes us and we play for the devils sooooooooo you'll brighten up his mood. Ha get it cause you're a photographer and the camera flashes." Jack stopped explaining the joke when he was met with your stern face.
Luke cleared his throat. "There he is now."
You snapped your eyes to the door and realized that was the man that took your breath away moments before just as he is doing now.
"Y/N this is Quinn, our brother. Quinn this is Y/N, the person we've been telling you about." Jack introduced the two of you.
"Brother? He's your brother?!? You guys never told me you had a brother!" You made a mental note to swear at Jack later, with no audience.
"Oops?" Luke giggled. "See Quinn, look they're a photographer. Show them some photos you took tonight." He encouraged.
You quickly shook your head. "No I couldn't possibly do that, I-I mean I still have to edit them and wait..." You looked down to your neck strap and saw that your camera was gone and in Jack's hands.
All three hughes brothers looking at the photos.
"Wait no!" You exclaimed but it was already too late you assumed, Jack was looking at you with a knowing look while Luke and Quinn were shocked.
"How come he gets all his good angles and I don't even one photo?" Luke asked you, in a mocking tone.
"I was distracted," You looked away, embarrassed.
"Yeah because you were too busy looking at our brother." Jack remarked, jokingly.
You rolled your eyes. "I didn't know he was your guys brother."
"I think these look nice, thank you." Quinn finally spoke, looking you in the eyes.
"Oh um you welcome. It's nothing really, it's just kind of my job." You shrugged.
"Then you most definitely picked the right career choice." He smiled softly at you.
Jack and Luke were nowhere to be seen, seemly left the two of you alone for a while.
Your face flushed at his words, he held the camera in his hands handing it out for you.
"You're gonna need this to edit all those photos of me." He joked.
"And I'm gonna need your number to send you all those photos." You held the camera and its neck strap, putting it in your bag.
"Well that was bold, Y/N." He chuckled not nonetheless gave you his phone so you can type out your number, he sent you a quick text.
"It was nice meeting you Quinn, it's getting late. I would head home but Jack seemed to have disappeared." You looked around.
"I can take you home." He offered. "He obviously went to the bar with the team."
You looked up at him and smiled. "I would like that."
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cierraonline · 1 day ago
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What Are You? A Middle Schooler?
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Chapter three - 01x02 Light Bulb
Warning - sexual themes ( 18+ Ideally | 16+ realistically )
masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
Following instructs that the Kindergarten teacher gave, almost every class in the small school found themselves in the gym/lunch room in where it waa nothing from chaos. In on corner you have Melissa trying to teacher class with Barbaras class behind them going over how to read time. Gregory and Janoine trying to go over spelling, the gym class playing basketball. And Siren’s class spread out trying to finish their thirty minutes of reading and taking notes. 
“I made this mess, and I need to fix this,” Janine vented to the substitue teacher. 
“Okay, but fix this how?” Gregory looked around the gym at the consequences of the teacher’s actions. “It seems very outside of your skill set. You should probably just wait for somebody to get to it…” 
“I don't want to wait for someone to get to it,” Janine disagreed. “You know, our children have
needs that deserve to be met. And I'm going to fix this. Nothing is going to get in my way.” 
“What if you have to climb another ladder?” Gregory mentions, pointing out roadblock that can possibly get in her way. “Those seem very tricky for you.”
“No. Not today.”
“Aren't you going to lunch, Janine?” Melissa askes as the other teacher besides Janine and Jacob walk to the door to leave for lunch. 
“Uh, no. I'm gonna stay and help the lunch ladies with lunch.”
“If I don’t like you then I know for sure they don’t,” Siren speaks up, wanting this let’s figure out what Janine doing process to go faster so she and her wife can go in a empty parking lot and have her stressed relieved. 
She always coming in the kitchen saying "hello" and whatnot. It's unsanitary. - Culinary Staff
“Is that what you're really doing?” Barbara looks at the woman for answers. 
“Yes! And maybe trying to get the lights back on,” the short teacher avoids eye contact.
“Would you give that a rest? What do you want? To make the whole school blow up?” Melissa directs the girl. 
“No. Plus, I can't,” She shakes her head. “Luckily, the school was built as a bomb shelter in World war II, so…”
“Let it go,” Barbra commands. 
“Okay. I will.” With that the teachers will lunch plans walk away. 
“You're not gonna let it go, are you?” Jacob asked the teacher in questioning.  
“No, I'm not gonna let it go, Jacob, okay?” She answers. “I need to right my wrong.”
“Okay. Well, count me out.”
“I never counted you in.”
“Well, then count me in, because I don't have any lunch plans.”
“Okay. Come on,” the teacher duo walks through the swinging doors to only find Siren standing on the other side with her arms crossed.
“Whatever fucked mistake you make next better be resolved before I come back from afternoon lunch one-man,” Siren tells them.
“One-man? W-what is that?” Janine looked confused. 
“What are you a middle schooler?” Siren squinted her eyes. 
“I- I think she means her and Melissa are going to go have sex in their car,” Jacob whispers calrification to the confused teacher who eyes widen in realization.
“You guys are dorks,” Siren rolled her eyes. “Go and hurry up and play failed Bob the Builder and then actually have someone fix it. I don’t need to come back stressed after I got destressed.” With that Siren walked away heading for the double doors that led to the outside world. 
“Hurry up, the nearest Walmart is 10 minutes away from here. Which means 10 minutes there and 10 minutes back leaving only 20 minutes left to eat you out and 20 to actually eat food.” Melissa honked the horn to her car at her wife who she felt like was taking her slow time getting to the car.
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“Don’t rush me or you get nothing,” Pulls o the passenger door handle and jumped in.
“Yeah right!” Melissa rolled her eyes. “As if you run anything in this relationship. Now buckle up and get my snack ready for me.” 
XXX (Caution Graphic Links)
“Sit on my face now, ” Melissa turns off the car after putting it in park and reclining the driver’s seat.
“Ugh I’ve been waiting for this since Janine opened her mouth,” Siren flung off her underwear as her pants were already sitting somewhere in the back seat. Melissa licked her lips and helped her younger wife sit on her face and when Siren soaking pussy made contact with her mouth, she dived in as if she was eating her grandmother’s cooking.
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She took Siren’s recently waxed clit between her lips and started sucking it with hunger. Siren moaned with her left hand hitting her hand on the roof of the car and her right hand clutching onto Melissa’s red locs. “F-fuck..!” Siren moaned as Melissa was nibbling, bitting, flicking her tongue, and sucking on her clit like it was the best lollipop in the world.
Melissa guided her tongue further down until it was right at Siren’s pulsating hole and plunged it in, making Siren yell out at the sensation. “Fuck, mommy!” 
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“Yeah, you like that bambina,” Melissa mumbled into the girl’s walls before continuing to lick on the velvet surface. “You gon make a mess on my face, huh?” Melissa feels Siren pulse and twitch, which made her smirk and give a harsh smack to her wife’s brown round ass. Siren decided to take control by riding Melissa’s face as the Italian woman’s hands were massaging her ass like it was a stress toy. In hunger and cravings, Melissa’s tongue went even deeper to where she was curling her tongue so she could hit Siren’s g-spot which she did successfully which was assessed by the younger woman’s jerking movement that caused her to tighten her hold. Siren’s thighs started to tremor and Melissa could feel her walls clenching around her tongue rhythmically, so she had to use her jaw to really put the work in and make her precious bambina cum. “ Be a good bambina and cum for mommy,” Melissa whispers, giving her wife eye contact. Soon after, her hard work paid off and Siren closed her eyes tightly as her essence poured into her wife’s mouth while some smeared on Melissa’s face as she was always a messy eater.
Melissa hummed in approval and used her lips to pull on Siren’s clit before realsing and spitting the given essence back onto her Siren’s pussy. “Ahh!” Siren gasped at the sensation. “Can you give me one more babygirl?” She asked and Siren nodded. “Good bambina, get the towel from the back, place it on my lap and sit facing the wheel.” The older woman directs her much younger wife. Doing as told, siren retrieved the thick blue towel that’s get cleaned weekly due to the frequency of them having sex in the vehicle. Placing it over Melissa’s work pants, Siren sat in the position she was ordered. Melissa slid her fingers back into Siren, this time with more force and speed than before.
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The spouse moaned, the sound vibrating in her chest as Melissa pushed in deep, filling her more than she could have imagined while being in a car and not their bed. Her walls tightened around Melissa fingers, clenching with each thrust as you built up a rhythm that left her gasping, still sensitive from her last orgasm. 
“More,” Siren whispered, the word slipping out like a plea. “Please… I need more.”
The raw need in her voice spurred Melissa on and complied without hesitation. The Schemmenti woman could see how much Siren was aching for it, her body craving the kind of release that came not only from pleasure but from being overwhelmed, from being taken. With a smirk on her face as she watched her wife through the rear view mirror as if she was watching a movie and angled her fingers upwards, finding that perfect spot deep within her, and began to stroke it with every thrust, sending sharp jolts of ecstasy through her. Siren’s breath hitched, a choked moan escaping her lips as her hips bucked, seeking more of the relentless pressure Melissa provided.
“Is this what you needed, bambina?” Melissa asked, her grungy voice low and rough as she watched Siren come undone once again on top of her. “For me to fuck you like this?”
“Y-yes, mommy!” Siren whimpered, coming down from her high as Melissa quickly pulled out her fingers. “Mhhm.”
“When we get home, go straight to our room and get Demon,” Melissa lifts Siren��s chin up to make straight eye contact while her other hand was softly rubbing the young woman’s clit up and down. “Mommy wants to finish this later. Now wipe yourself and get your clothes back on.”
“Wipe for me,” Siren mumbles, trying to get her breath back under control. 
“So fucking spoiled,” Melissa roled her eyes, being smirking, grabbing the towel that’s on her lap and wipe Siren’s vagina a little harshly which caused the woman to wince. “Ouu, mommy’s sorry bambina,” Melissa cooed in the woman’s ear before reaching over in the middle compartment to retrieve baby wipes. Opening the package she takes a wipe and wipe the fluids from between Siren’s leg and another one for her face. 
XXX
Before walking into work, she took a deep breath, knowing that the second she stepped inside, a new problem would surely arise, thanks to the unpredictable antics of Janine and Jacob.
“Ooh.”
“What in the... What's going on?” A blast of hot air smacked the group returning from lunch as they walked into the building.
“What in the world?”
“It’s so hot! My hair’s gonna frizz!”
“Janine, what did you do?!” The senior teacher spotted the new teachers emerging from the janitor’s closet, their clothes dusted with black dirt and their faces drenched in sweat. “Lookin' like who shot John.”
“Barbara, look, I know you told me to let it go, but I couldn’t,” Janine began, her voice pleading for understanding. “Jacob helped me open the breaker.”
“It was a chance to support a strong Black woman,” Jacob, the white teacher, offered his perspective under the harsh glares of the other teachers.
“The breaker?! Janine!” Melissa exclaimed, unable to fathom what had possessed the petite teacher. “You can't do this stuff! What had you come to work today and lose your mind?”
“You do realize that we’re technically in trouble now because the building violates health codes, which means we could be shut down until this gets fixed…meaning none of us are getting paid,” Siren glared at Janine. “You basically created a heat wave.”
“Look, I... I just have…” Janine’s words began to falter as her vision blurred.
“Oh. Ooh. Okay.” The teachers next to Siren moved closer, ready to catch her.
“I feel lightheaded.”
“Are you okay? Did you eat today?” Melissa questioned. “Because I know you didn’t have lunch.”
“And you didn’t have any breakfast,” Jacob added.
“Okay. We’re losing her. Do I have your consent to slap you?”
“Ooh, can I do it?” Siren raised her hand, but her godmother promptly smacked it down.
“Oh!” Janine collapsed to the floor.
“There she goes. She’s out.”
“Y’all feel this heat?” Ava joined the teachers huddled around the unconscious Janine. “Oh, my God! She’s pale like a zombie! You know, they eat the hottest people first. Let me back my tasty ass up.” She took a few steps back, holding up a flashlight as if warding off evil.
“Okay, I’ll get some water from the fridge…uh, hopefully it’s still cold!” Jacob dashed toward the teacher’s lounge.
“Oh, my God! My branzino!” Realization struck the red-haired woman. “Barb, excuse me!” She nudged her friend aside and hurried after Jacob. “I’ll be back! She’ll be okay!”
“What do we do?” Barbara asked, looking between her goddaughter and Gregory.
“I guess we gotta call the nurse for her,” Siren said, pointing to Janine’s unconscious form, “and hold class outside until Mr. Johnson comes back and fixes this mess.”
For the rest of the day, classes were essentially canceled, and everyone was outside, reveling in the freedom as a burst fire hydrant sprayed cool water into the air.
“They’re so happy,” Melissa observed, watching students play and shout with joy. “He’s climbing again.” From the corner of her eye, Siren kept watch, ensuring her students were well-behaved and not attempting to sneak off campus.
“Oh, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Melissa noted as Janine finally joined them outside.
“Who opened the fire hydrant?” Janine asked.
“Well, as Melissa would say, snitches get stitches,” Barbara replied with a knowing smile.
“That’s correct, but I’m not talking to you on account of you killing my branzino,” Melissa stated, keeping her gaze forward and not meeting the younger teacher’s eyes. With a determined look, she cleared her throat, then got up and walked down the steps to join Gregory.
“So that’s it, huh?” Janine asked, taking the now-empty seat. “I gave it my all, passed out, and ruined the school day?”
“Oh, you tanked. You tanked, Janine,” Melissa replied. “You took the whole school down with you. It was impressive.”
“Look, I know I should’ve stopped,” Janine began apologetically. “I’m sorry. I just felt so bad when I saw that look on Melina’s face this morning.”
“You don’t think it kills us to see those faces every morning?” Melissa’s tone softened, almost comically. “What, are we made of stone? You’re not the first person to feel things, kid. We care.”
“How do you and Barbara stop yourselves from caring too much, if that’s even possible?”
“Because it’s the opposite,” Melissa removed her sunglasses, looking directly at Janine. “We care so much, we refuse to burn out. If we burn out, who’s here for these kids? That’s why you’ve gotta take care of yourself. What’s with you today, anyway? You’re normally bananas, but…”
“I don’t know. Just some stuff at home, I think.”
“Oh. Okay.” Melissa nodded in understanding. “See, that’s another thing Barbara and I learned. All that at-home stuff? You’ve gotta…” She clicked her tongue. “Leave it right at that door. Otherwise, you open up a whole 'nother Panera’s box of problems.”
“I think you mean Pandora’s box,” Janine corrected gently.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s Panera’s box.”
As the day ended, and the children were picked up, the teachers clocked out, ready to leave. Siren had plans and wasn’t about to let anything interfere.
“Oh, hey, guys! What’s up?” Jacob called out, spotting Janine and Gregory heading toward the building.
“Hey,” Gregory greeted. “We’re just going to get something to eat.”
“Oh. Great. I’ll join!” Jacob announced.
“Oh.”
“After-school crew!” Jacob cheered, crafting a nickname.
“Ooh, ‘Afterschool crew.’ I like that,” Janine joined in.
“Hey, Siren!” Jacob called out, spotting the teacher trying to slip away unnoticed. Caught, she took a deep breath, praying for a miracle.
“We’re all going out to eat; you should join us,” he offered.
“Na—”
“Yeah, you should totally come,” Gregory agreed, stepping behind her and gently guiding her toward the group.
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“You’re so going to pay for this,” Siren muttered to Gregory, pulling out her phone to text her wife that she’d be late. She received a reply hinting at a playful “punishment” when she got home—but Siren shrugged; it wouldn’t be the first time. As the group walked, the lights suddenly turned on, startling them.
“You touched the lights, didn’t you, Janine?” Mr. Johnson appeared, dressed in work clothes and holding his fishing gear, glaring at her.
“Yes,” she admitted, sheepishly.
“Good thing I got me a system,” he replied, humming a few lines from Boyz II Men.
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taglist @jules19sstuff @babytakeittothehead @calibabyyyy @crybabysdeadbunny @toxicslut-1 @starstruckdinosaurcandy @delulu-lesbian @notmeellaannyy @mystical-april @severia21 @hwh-dawn @bone-app-the-teeth @casualfoxwitch @lordfarquad-k @honeypiperpizza123 @gwendolinechristierulez @pinkininja @oculusalien @zendayasredbottoms @tacoboutstuff @jules19sstuff @siyuziii @christiniawcb @riddlette13 @thebignunfun @xxloveralways14 @lordfarquad-k @rhearipley-69 @danversrailme @amberg1998 @zzzz-zzz1 @htttpcasti @lidiyabest @wwelovergirl @lesbianpoetess @jamiemundy7773 @pixelorange06 @steampunkprincess147 @brbblog123 @h3artss44le @harajukub4rb1e @billiesrighthand @natasha29romanoff @deathvidal
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thezombieprostitute · 22 hours ago
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Tech Tuesday: Curtis Everett
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Summary: Curtis decides to take the next step and ask if you're willing to meet offline.
A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.
Warnings: Meeting someone from online, Mentions of past bad experiences. Please let me know if I missed any.
Previous
Series Masterlist
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"So, what all has been going on with your computer? Did you bring it with you?" Curtis tries to keep his tone calm. He's been eager to meet you in person for months but has worked hard to make sure you feel safe to do so and that means not pushing you into it. He tries to keep his excited fidgeting to a minimum but he's worried it just makes him look even more suspicious. He's so used to keeping his features schooled into a scowl, but that's the last thing he wants to do to you.
"Basically it'll go for a while but then start freezing, stuttering and I have to force it to shut down before I can do anything else," you answer while sipping your coffee. You can't believe his eyes are as blue as the photo he sent. "I tried to see if it was because I was running some heavy duty games and maybe I was using too much RAM. I cleaned up so many programs, uninstalled a bunch of games I don't play anymore, but it just keeps happening."
Curtis rubs his beard as he thinks. "It might be a hardware issue. It's not my strong suit, but I can still take a look. At the very least I can ask my buddy, Mace, for help. He's a whiz with the hardware and could probably get you a good deal if any upgrades are needed."
"Oh yeah, you've talked about him before," you reassure yourself. Having him mention another stranger worried you but Mace has been brought up several times before, especially when Curtis mentioned getting upgraded tech.
"You definitely don't have to meet him," Curtis affirms. "He can be a real grump. And coming from me, that's saying something." He gives a light chuckle as he sips his coffee.
"Snow, I work at a hospital," you counter. "Ain't no kind of grump I haven't had to deal with before." You give Curtis a look that says 'I'm stronger than you'.
Curtis smiles fully, "absolutely fair, Heart." He struggles a little bit to not turn shy. That look, that strength, that self-assured smile has him weak in the knees. "Still," he coughs, trying to regain control of himself. "Still, uh, when...did you bring the computer with you? Would this be an okay time to take a look at it?"
"Friend of mine at the library is keeping an eye on it for me." Best to let him know you've got allies nearby. He hasn't really given anything to make you worry about, but his reactions to your safety protocols could be telling. Of course, if you were expecting him to look scared or upset at this news, Curtis happily defied those expectations as his eyes lit up.
"Oh, that's really smart! We can borrow one of their laptops to run some tests. That way my laptop's settings won't mess with your computer."
You smile, genuinely, for the first time all day. Curtis is very different and you couldn't be happier about it.
"Don't you need your diagnostic software?"
"If it's called for, sure. The basic versions are free to download and they'll help me pick up if it's actually a software issue. Plus, the libraries regularly wipe downloads after use, right?"
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"Okay, everything's plugged in so let's get this running and see what happens."
After looking over the hardware Curtis had found no obvious reasons for the failure so you had gone to your friend and loaned out one of the laptops. Curtis's computer bag had an impressive collection of tools, wires and connectors. You always appreciate when a person is prepared.
He works in relative silence and it gives you the chance to really look at him. He's definitely handsome, as Cassandra pointed out when she loaned you laptop. You weren't normally one for lip piercings but it seemed to work well on him, even though it was partially hidden by his beard.
The quiet between you two isn't so uncomfortable. It's how you spent a lot of time when you started gaming together. Talking over comms almost always resulted in a bunch of idiots either hitting on you, calling you a 'fake gamer,' lobbing insults at you, or all three at the same time. Snowpiercer was one of the few gamers who didn't care that you were a girl gamer. For him it was about how well you worked together. Given that the two of you could get high scores without having to talk over comms, it was no wonder the two of you started playing together more and more.
Even after you'd started voice chatting while playing, there was always a level of respect. Something you hadn't gotten from Chase.
Curtis gets out of the chair and gets a closer look at each of the fans, stopping at the one closest to the heat sink. "There it is," he intones. "This fan is dying. It's easy to miss because, by the time you know something's wrong, the whole computer's shut down and all the fans are stopped."
"Well, at least it's an easy fix," you comment. "Thanks for taking a look at it."
"Not a problem at all," he assures. "I'm happy to help."
You smile, "are you always this nice?"
"No," he shakes his head. "Definitely not. I'm not an ass, but I'm definitely not this nice to everyone."
"I'm honored."
He chuckles at that. "Like I said, I'm happy to help you out. You're the best teammate I've ever had and it just isn't as fun paying without you."
"I appreciate that, Curtis. So, what do I owe you?"
"Nothing."
"Don't do that to me, Snow. You know how I feel about owing people." It was a wound from Chase that had yet to heal. His use of favors as manipulation made you wary of anyone who said you don't owe anything.
Curtis sighs and nods. "Tell you what, there are some pastries at that coffee shop we were at that I avoided because I didn't want you to see me covered in crumbs. Wouldn't make for a good first impression." You smile at the thought. "Just get me a couple of those while I shut everything down here and return the laptop?"
"Deal." You stand to get moving but turn to him before you leave, "and thank you, again. Not just for the computer fix, but for...for respecting the boundaries."
He looks at you with those gorgeous blue eyes, "not a problem."
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Next
Series Masterlist
Tagging @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;
@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @peyton-warren @ronearoundblindly; @stellar-solar-flare
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discordiansamba · 3 days ago
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right. where does he even start?
hi jin. everything you know about me is a lie. i wasn't lying to you though, because i believed it too. really concise and to the point. sounds absolutely terrible. he might as well just start with 'hello, prince zuko here' if he's trying to shove his foot into his mouth.
"do you remember those rumors," lee asks, "-about uh. the dai li brainwashing people?"
jin blinks. yeah, she's heard them. they'd even discussed them before. they were just fire nation propaganda right? the dai li wouldn't do that. they're supposed to protect us. lee wrings his hands and tells her they're all true, actually. the dai li really did brainwash people. you know how people keep telling you that I don't have an uncle? that I wasn't a refugee?
yeah, uh. the thing is. i was also brainwashed.
jin just stares at him like she's waiting for the punchline. it's only when she realizes he's serious that she takes his hand and asks what he means. she doesn't understand. why would the dai li make him believe he had a father, or that he was born and raised in ba sing se? she can't imagine mushi causing trouble.
"because I'm not- my name isn't lee," he tells her, "-well, I mean it is. sort of. but it's also not. it's really complicated."
jin asks him to explain.
lee takes in and lets out a deep breath. he swears he feels the flames of the lanterns flicker around them. it's oddly calming. he slowly begins to explain. he tells her that the dai li altered his mind and made him believe he'd always lived here. that his name was lee, and that his father was a member of the dai li. that his mother was dead, and his burn was from a house fire. he was... someone else before, but they remade him into a simple tea server- stripping him of his original personality in the process.
being lee is all he knows.
jin just stares at him. her grip on his hand has grown so tight that her knuckles are white. she asks him if he's not lee, then who is he?
"i mean, i kind of am lee," he admits, "-i'm not uh. i'm still brainwashed. it's not as bad as it sounds? i'm- i'm happy like this, and... i don't think i was before. i could go back to the person i was before, but i'm not sure if i want to."
she asks him again who he used to be.
he sighs. he tells her it's going to sound made up. that she's going to be angry with him. he promises her that he's never lied to her. he'd thought his whole life here as lee the tea server was real- and that he really does love her. he wasn't made to fall in love with her or anything. he just did.
"lee," she asks him again, "-who were you?"
"...zuko," he tells her, "-prince zuko."
she releases his hand and just stares at him, her eyes wide. the fire nation prince? the banished one? lee nods. he's still trying to wrap his head around it. jin just stares at him. you helped conquer ba sing se. lee hangs his head. yeah. he did. he doesn't remember any of it, but he did. he says he thinks prince zuko thought it would bring him his honor back or something.
all it got him was being backstabbed by his sister.
that's why they ended up serving princess azula, he says. because avatar aang and his friends found him and realized who he was, even when he couldn't. katara could heal him. make him into the person he once was, but father and princess azula didn't want that. they wanted him to stay as lee for the rest of his life.
"if you want to break up with me," lee says, "-i wouldn't blame you."
jin tells him she needs some time to think this over.
lee doesn't blame her.
it's an odd feeling, telling his nephew about himself.
but it is clear that the young man sitting across from iroh is not his nephew- as much as he might have zuko's face and body. even with the knowledge of his true self, he still treats him as a distant stranger- one that he must be deeply respectful of, but still a stranger. katara has kept him abreast of the situation, though he suspects there is something the young waterbender has been keeping to herself.
looking at lee, he suspects he can sense what it is.
he tells lee of zuko's agni kai.
he tells him what lead to it. lee looks surprised at zuko's outrage at the planned sacrifice of young soldiers. he is not sure he can blame him- he can only imagine what zuko's reputation is in the earth kingdom. to them he was only a banished prince, disloyal to his father and punished for it without knowing the exact reason why. he had chased the avatar with the intent of turning him over to his father, and then had helped conquer ba sing se.
iroh holds nothing back.
he tells lee of zuko. of how he let himself be redefined by his anger after the agni kai. but he also tells him that he helped the avatar escape pohuai stronghold, even if his reasons for doing so were less than pure. he tells them of their life as refugees. he tells them of zuko's choice under lake laogai, when he freed appa.
he tells him of how he chose to ally with his sister during the coup.
lee listens to him quietly- but it is like he is being told a story about another person. someone he's never met. when iroh is finished, lee exhales, as if he's been holding his breath all this time. it has been some time since iroh started speaking, but there is still steam rising from lee's cup.
"he wasn't happy," lee says, "-was he?"
"no," iroh admits, "-not for a long time. not since his mother disappeared."
lee cannot meet his eyes. he opens his mouth and shuts it, like there is something he wishes to say, but cannot manage. iroh sighs, and gives him his word as fire lord that whatever he wishes to say to him, he can say it without consequence. lee takes in a deep breath, and slowly lets it out.
"i don't know," he admits, "-if I want to go back."
and there it is, out in the open.
it would not be the first child iroh has lost to ba sing se. this is perhaps a kinder way to lose one. zuko would not be himself, but he could be happy there. they will have to deal with lan-wei and azula, but if that is the path he wishes to choose... then iroh will support it. he asks him only to think about it before he makes his choice.
deep down, he has wondered if a distant promise of happiness was what finally made zuko surrender.
"lady mai tells me this is the royal family's personal villa," lee says after a moment, "-but I don't know this place. I've never been here before, but there are portraits all over the place of someone who looks just like me. i can't get comfortable here."
"...I think I need to go home. to ba sing se."
"and if you go," iroh asks, "-will you be able to make up your mind?"
lee nods. iroh heaves a sigh. in truth, he does not want to let him go. but his nephew must make his own decisions. he is eighteen now. nearly an adult. the last time iroh tried to force him into seeing things his way, it did not end as he'd hoped. not for himself- nor for zuko.
"then go," iroh says, "-one way or another, you will find the answers you seek there."
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britneyshakespeare · 4 months ago
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i was crying in front of a sidewalk tonight and someone in a passing car asked to me through their window "you alright?" honestly didnt even know what they expected
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eikotheblue · 9 months ago
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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year ago
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i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠
i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀
it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look
and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹
went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠)
in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈
there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇
yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!
#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0:#which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk#but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress#i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !!#i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead#omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car#where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look#today she said I'm always looking fancy (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠) ♡⁠ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk#and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS#i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !!#old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!!#bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do#anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on#good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)#my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really#cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out#even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡⁠#omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like#omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but#appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !!#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)#they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼#there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk#to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much#n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡#oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project#AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!!#there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)#if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡⁠
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kateis-cakeis · 3 months ago
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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#pickle pontificates#i REALLY want to turn off asks for the first time since I started tumblr#I don't post donation posts or anything with a call to action really#i can think of one or two times where I've done it in the past and it was from people i knew#a) this blog is for archiving stuff I want to see later (whether that's memes or fandom stuff or references or art or my own thoughts)#and b) I have always been very strict about not reblogging guilt trippy stuff bc although I don't have a lot of followers#I refuse to put that kind of thing on them#I'm very good at refusing things when I need to and recognizing when I don't have the money or resources to help#but I still have to deal with the impulse to help or do something every time anyway#so I imagine it's much harder and feels much worse for people who are already in a worse place mentally#I do not have the ability or time to vet every one of these things that winds up in my inbox#and them saying they've been vetted by some other random tumblr i know nothing about means nothing to me#and even if I did so many of them have very intense wording#which would be reasonable for someone in a very intense and horrible situation#but is absolutely not something I will platform to my followers who are in situations I know nothing about#even more so because again. I can't vet anything#if someone has the time and money to help out with that then it is not difficult to find legitimate charities and campaigns#and I trust that they will do it#so anyway. I can keep deleting the asks just fine but it would be easier to close the ask box#I'm still living with the delusion that I'll get unhinged anons someday though and I don't want to cut them off#they would enrich my life#addendum: if I follow you and you reblog donation posts btw this is not an indictment of that#I'm curating my own experience but I think it's cool for people to vet and signal boost and help and all that
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chlopieno · 11 months ago
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This friday sucks super bad so far.
#vent incoming#my boyfriend is having super bad time and it's strongly related to me yet not my direct fault and the only way i could remove#myself from the equation would be completely get out of theor life. and even then i don't believe it would help. there's so much#internalized stuff#bad family stuff#overall so many bad things pilled up one on another that are centered at the topic of identity#and such that yes. i could leave. but then will it help with the homophobia or transphobia he's facing? if he goes back into closet how#will it help if the base of the problem is still there?#i can't help if he doesnt leave and find a space where his parents have no say. i asked him over and over again to go to a psychiatrist#ive been asking him to do it for over a year. and he has a barrier that makes sharing hard for him but for the love of the saints he needs#help from someone who is qualified to do it. i asked him to choose his doctor so he can be most comfortable. i offered to pay for the doctor#in case he has no money. i try so hard to pull him out of this place of self blame and of blame he receives from his parents#from anyone else#i try so hard to let him know he can ask me for help. i try to make him feel comfortable and safe. i want future with him and he made m#me think he wanted it too but today he told me that he doesnt know if getting together woth me was a good choice. and even if he breaks up#with me i will know that all of it is going to stay the same#i really dont know what to do. how to help. how do i make everything better if i cant do anything about his family and his home? he goes#back there and i immediately start worrying about him. he told me he doesnt feel safe in that town and i cant do anything. i cant convince#him to move out. i cant convince him to drop this old life. i feel so helpless
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