#i work 6 days/week 40 hours/week
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Tiny little rant because I'm actually very upset. Please feel free to completely ignore this..
#I'm exhausted#truly exhausted#I'm unable to write due to my shit schedule#sure to my lack in motivation due to work#i work 6 days/week 40 hours/week#and for what? i can't afford to move out#i can't afford to live in my own#it's gotten to the point where i feel unable to enjoy it do anything#I'm the one who has to deal with all the shit at work#all the issues#because no one else is fucking here#i got yelled at today by a random guy#3 men had to come up in order for him to leave (the man was banned btw)#i get yelled at almost every day i work#and where are my bosses? y'know the people in charge?#at home in vacation... somewhere other than helping me....#and then i go home and get shit on for my bad memory or wanting to do something for myself#I'm so so so exhausted#I'm so stuck#i have no one#and i miss writing#i miss being motivated to write#i miss having ideas i can't actually work on#but i have no time and no motivation....#I'm so sorry
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I think it's time for some "quiet quitting"
#text post#personal whining#i am so tired of being asked to cram 80 hours of work into a 40 hour week#i go to work and am overwhelmed and abused for 6-10 hours#then i come home and im too tired to cook clean or engage with my husband children pets hobbies#i am definitely in a depressive episode rn#and its because of work#4 people (including the pharmacist) is not enough to run a functioning pharmacy#and its not even flu season yet#when well be expected to do 10+ vaccines per day#on top of all the work we already arent managing to get done#with only ONE person who's eligible to give vaccines
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#it's a strange thing to work in a store that never sleeps. like living in an organism. like forcing its blood to flow#youre there an not. mostly out of sight and out of mind. blinking into existence when something is needed#or at least thats how it is when you work on the back end. and its an oddly gendered workplace when i go in#before the sun is up. before the doors are unlocked. men and boys unload the trucks and sort the packages. women sort the clothing packages#so they do that on purpose? do applicates sort themselves? why do only women work in style?#i dunno. it feels like my 1st real job. its very strange bc there are alloted times and clocking in and out and forced breaks. ive never had#that. ive only had: every moment that youre not working is a waste of time. i worked 10 hour days 6 days a week while getting paid part time#so it's weird. its nice to feel useful. its nice to have my time filled with things to do. but its also like going to school k-12 bc its#like: oh god i gotta get up at 3am so i can go to work. so i dunno. we'll see how i feel after a full week. its also sorta physically#exhausting and maybe i should have said 32hrs instead of 40 so i can actually work on some stuff this summer but i guess we'll see#right now getting a government job sounds better than going back to school but i dunno. i dunno#ill have to start applying in earnest. ay ay ay. what a mess#unrelated
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My brain is. Absolutely buzzing with fic ideas right now and last night I started on a new one because I felt like i had to at least get the premise down before I lost it, but now I'm nearly 6k words in and oh no I don't have time to get another longfic wip going.... I'm 140k words deep into two other longfics right now 😭 I want to get into it, but I have too many stories fighting for attention in my head and this won't end well if I hop between them all bc I want to finish something for once. Ahhhh!!! Darn you limited time.
#It's about to get so much more limited because I'm starting 6 day a week FFXIV prog on Monday#technically I started last night (so I was up until 11:30pm writing the first 2k words of this...) but we have today off bc I have a concer#and like. getting off work at 3:30 if i then have 3 hours of prog. an hour to make dinner. 30-40 minutes to walk/run/exercise#that's not enough time to get out many words of fic. not if i want to do other enjoyable things with my life#so my productivity is going to tank.#so far my daily average wordcount for may has been over 3k which is insane. but i haven't had raid in ffxiv this so far this month#so that means a lot more time to write. as in 3 more hours per night to write. not that i usually write for 3hrs#but still. you get the gist of it. it's also 3 hours i'm not sitting at my computer so it's easier on the body to sit at the comp and write#anyway for anyone who is reading these tags for a mysterious reason. 1) hi. 2) this is. you probably guessed it. a dmc fic#this one is based on the vergil time travel idea that spaceacerat proposed. there are so many ways it could go but-#-this is one that would take place right before sparda leaves so sparda is still there and vergil has to convince him not to go#the thing there is i'm not really sure how it would end...in my other time travel fic i DO have an explanation for how sparda died#but i developed it specifically for that fic and it would not work for a happy ending in this fic. which i'd like to have#that fic also takes place after sparda's gone so. y'know.#but yeah i...as i'm writing this i now have somewhat of an idea for an ending but it's. bittersweet? maybe? hmmm#but yeah! never underestimate my love for time travel fics it's my favorite trope of all time. has been since i met trunks dbz as a kid.#erurandomness#erubabbles
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I have a week and a half of finals left and I am not making it through y’all 🙏
#I js finished my aps on Monday and ap studying is a whole different kind of beast#and so were finals last year#this year finals are light as fuck and that means I will not be studying much this week cuz I cannot get myself to take this shit seriously#like Monday? hell. ap gov and apah on one day#I had to cover 40 percent of apah on my own in the weekend before the exam cuz the teacher didn’t 😭#I also still had to review for gov#so I was spending like 18-20 hours a day on studying for those classes last weekend#and then taking the tests were fun but also horrible experiences#cuz of all the fucking writing#l got to near 20 pages of writing that day#and now I’m spending like an hour and a half max reviewing for anything#I have a final tomorrow and I’m so unserious about it#the only kinda stressful thing is Spanish and bio both being next Thursday#and ig math on Monday#but they’re still pretty light cuz I hv so much time to study#when we don’t hv tests it’s all study hall#so I’m just sitting in a room for 5 hrs working during school#and that’s more than enough time for those exams#like I just have to do 80ish practice problems and make flashcards for Spanish everyday until Sunday#and then I’m gonna check my math study guide on Sunday#and then continue studying Spanish flashcards every day leading up to next Thursday#other than that I have to make lang flashcards and study a bit for lang (prob like 2ish hours) next Monday#and like 6-7 hours of studying bio#like this is not that bad???#and I’m so excited for summer!!!#I alr have so many things prepped I wanna do!!#imma try to read for 24 hrs straight & draw more & get back into printmaking & do an internship & work on speech and debate#& volunteer at a library with my friends & study for next yr & learn to knit/crochet#& listen to music more & get back into piano fr & exercise#ares.txt
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WELP
while I was literally in the middle of talking with @rlainarin about how much I don't want a job offer from the high-paying job with 12 hour days and that's exactly why this will be the job i finally get, the company called and extended an offer. the timing could not be more fucked up if I tried
#i literally can't afford to turn this job down it's so high paying#and we really need the money#plus it's salary non-exempt on top of being high paying so i would get time and a half on everything over 40#but oh my god i don't wanna work 5-6 twelve hour days a week
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Local man has not been taking his meds, whose fault is this? His
#Listen#i dont wake up at a consistent time#so when they tell me to take it when i wake up i dont bc its different every time and i dont want to take too much!!!!!!#also moms pushing me to get a second job which means my insurance probably wont cover my meds anymore which makes me nervous#also im tired and don't want a second job rn#man working 4-6 hour days kills me#i sleep all the time now!! i dont have the energy to do shit and im expected to work 40 fucking hours a week?????????#anyway#i have like...half my meds left#elliot rambles
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trying to look for babysitting gigs for extra money and it’s like you can’t even babysit nowadays without having a degree (bachelor’s minimum), CPR certified (required), non-smoker, and minimum of 3 references
#now I’m exhausted from trying to find babysitting gigs that are a part time job initself#like some of these listings are insane#wdym work 7 days a week at 16 an hour and only get paid once MONTHLY#like ????#like I get it times are tough but then why the fuck did you have 6 kids??#I’ve applied to about 40 jobs on indeed Glassdoor and zip recruiter#and only a handful have gotten back to me#and I’m trying to find something outside of the field I’m currently in but it’s like#those supposed entry level jobs require a masters degree in the field or at least 5 years experience#like bro then that’s not entry level#I hate this capitalistic world
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Haven’t interacted with people outside of my office or family or music ensembles for like a month. Think I am going to go bonkers
#I need to talk in my Discord server it’s been MONTHS#but I don’t really share interests with them#online I mostly just talk to two or three of my closest IRLs T_T#I want to make Tumblr friends but I am SO intimidated#chalcy stuff#idk why I’m posting this here#just sitting in the parking lot procrastinating on walking into the office… another 7 hour day :’)#I would also LIKE to have new hobbies but I simply do not have time#<- taking 6 uni classes AND working 25 hours/week in an inherently busy/stress-inducing field#so rn my hobbies are just.. college choir community choir vocal lessons aaaand fanfic#none of which are really friend-making environments#since you don’t exactly get to TALK during choir#and community choir is full of people 40 years my senior :(#at least I have one friend from college in there and we go to the bathroom together during our 10 minute break lololol
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If you love Disney, its parks, its media, and its merch, listen up.
So I work for Disneyland, and we are talking about striking very soon. So soon, in fact, that we've been hosting rallies just outside of the parks. Yesterday was the 69th birthday of Disneyland Anaheim... it was also a monumental rally.
I haven't seen anyone on tumblr talking about the impending strikes against Disney. Not even going through the Disney tags or searching tumblr for "Disneyland Strike."
Let's talk about why we're striking:
Cost of living in the immediate SoCal region is nearly 2x as much as we are getting paid.
Cast members that have worked for the company for long periods of time are still paid as mucha s new hires.
Disney has showed up to union negotiations with insulting offers, including at 25 cent raise. Most cast members make $19.90
Disney rarely schedules you. In some areas and departments, you are fighting with your fellow cast members for hours. I have heard of cast members who are only scheduled for 1 4-hour shift per week. Many of those cast members have upwards of an hour commute to and from work.
Disney Admin has told attractions castmembers [so: rides, rollercoasters, and anything fun you get to do and see at the parks] that we are losing them money, which is why they refuse to schedule us and pay us. In the words of my partner, who also works at the parks, Disney without attractions is an over glorified mall and a food court. Disney needs us, and they know it, but they do not respect us.
Disney has an unfair attendance policy. It can be very difficult to get a needed day off, even when it has been requested weeks or months in advance. When you do take a day off [with-out accrued sick or vacation time] it counts against you. You can have 3 a month, 6 in 90 days, 9 in 180 days, or 12 in a year. How do you accrue sick/vacation? Hours worked, which can be impossible with the scheduling practices mentioned above. (Most cast members trade shifts among themselves to get around this.)
Cast members feel unsafe and unsupported in the parks. Many cast members have felt threatened by entitled guests upset that they are following policy. Disney Leads and Managers have to say yes to these guests and make things happen, though. [Which only makes this behavior worse and more dangerous for cast members who are only doing their job.]
Cast members also report feeling threatened, or even being literally threatened, by management in the parks. Especially cast members who have a second job. Especially cast members who know their rights.
Further, cast members work in hazardous conditions with pay that does not reflect that. Many cast members report losses of hearing, sore throats, and severe back and shoulder pain. Cast members are also exposed to infectious diseases at a much higher rate.
https://www.sfgate.com/disneyland/article/union-button-contract-dispute-19515296.php?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2u5o_mvU3i6jpIyHxBUZpEzD2GRSKFf5Pem4uRXqa6vKWDgZuffvINd1g_aem_AA1L0fI1phugJIluYMcDSw
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#complained last week abt not hitting weekly 50km on pokemon go but tomorrows sunday and im working (easy 2km)#and IM AT 48.5 WOOOOO SO COUNTING GETTING THERE AND GOING HOME IMM SETTTT 👏👏👏#the game rewards are actually just like some berries and idgaf it might be golden razz?#bc the prev is silver pinap. so this would be lit apart from the fact that i have 40 golden razz rn.#also i was at the mall for a few hours and there wasnt a single good raid in the area wtf#and NOBODY WAS QUEUEING FOR THE GIGANTAMAX WHYYYY#max 6 ppl and needless to say. we barely put a dent in the gigantamax hp bar💀#its always so funny seeing the raid pkmn drop a big attack and most of the teams pokemons faint LMAOO like girl... cmon..#also fuck giratinaaa <///3 got shiny zacian and shiny zamazenta x2 but i did like 13 giratina raids and didnt get a single shinyy#i did like 2 zacian and like 4 zamazenta girl like cmonnn 😭#giratina didnt even spawn near me today so sob sob passes going to darkrai then#AND ZACIAN AND ZAMAZENTA ARE COMING BACK TOO.. ION WANT EM 😭 ig candies are ok but SOBS#looking forward to mega salamence and maybe altaria bc fluffy..#i only have like dark and ghost type megas rn. minus beedrill. so any of the later ones would be good tbh#but unfortunately they have been giving me better hours recently at work so maybe i wont be able to play too much 💀#this week im okay tho 🤔 got at least 2 free days so ill be able to get darkrai fairly early at least#44597
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Really hoping once I'm on my actual work schedule n not this training stuff I won't feel as tired or pressed for time,,, sadly pets my neglected children (ocs n fandom meemows)
#.personal rambles#I dont mind my job its better than what I was doing before (service directing) but its just a lot of stuff#Lots of lifting and moving and emotional tolls so ofcourse Im tired but considering traffic & how I prep everything the night before when#all is said n done I only have like 1-2 hours of *me* time and by then Im too tired to do anything#I forced myself to draw tonight and felt some sparks of joy but then its like i cant stay up super late because I have to be up early...#and also this might be a 6 day work week too so Im like 😩#anyways enough yapping it is what it is#Im just not built for 40 hr work weeks and then some cus of first calls n hospitals n shit
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The administration writing on my colleague's paper that she works 30 hours a week what a joke
#we work waaaay over 40 hours a week#today we started at 6:30 am stopped at 3pm#and the day iant finished#in total we'll have worked like over 9 hours today#loooool dont work with horses guys#alao we dont have any day off#it should be sundays but we still work like 3 hours. anyway#thank god i actually like what im doing
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My calendar is basically fully booked until like September and I’m already exhausted. I haven’t even gotten to the busiest months (July/August) and I’m already exhausted.
#the thought of spending the next 40 days speedrunning chemistry#followed by 6-8 weeks of 13 hour days working 2 nannying jobs#is so much#plus I just decided to stop talking to my dad after having a full breakdown on Saturday#adulthood can go kick rocks#I’m tired
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Writing tips for long fics that helped me that no one asked for.
1.) Don't actually delete content from your WIP unless it is minor editing - instead cut it and put it in a secondary document. If you're omitting paragraphs of content, dialog, a whole scene you might find a better place for it later and having it readily available can really save time. Sometimes your idea was fantastic, but it just wasn't in the right spot.
2.) Stuck with wording the action? Just write the dialog then revisit it later.
3.) Stuck on the whole scene? Skip it and write the next one.
4.) Write on literally any other color than a white background. It just works. (I use black)
5.) If you have a beta, while they are beta-ing have them read your fic out loud. Yes, I know a lot of betas/writers do not have the luxury of face-timing or have the opportunity to do this due to time constraints etc but reading your fic out loud can catch some very awkward phrasing that otherwise might be missed. If you don't have a beta, you read it out loud to yourself. Throw some passion into your dialog, you might find a better way to word it if it sounds stuffy or weird.
6.) The moment you have an idea, write it down. If you don't have paper or a pen, EMAIL it to yourself or put it in a draft etc etc. I have sent myself dozens of ideas while laying down before sleep that I 10/10 forgot the next morning but had emailed them to myself and got to implement them.
7.) Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don't comment - even if they say they do, they don't, even if they preach all day about commenting, they don't, even if they are a very popular blog that passionately reminds people to comment - they don't comment (I know this personally). Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don't comment. You just have to accept it. That being said - comment on the fic you're reading now, just do it, if you're 'shy' and that's why you don't comment the more you comment the better you'll get at it. Just do it.
8.) Remove unrealistic daily word count goals from your routine. I've seen people stress 1500 - 2000 words a day and if they don't reach that they feel like a failure and they get discouraged. This is ridiculous. Write when you can, but remove absurd goals. My average is 500 words a day in combination with a 40 hour a week job and I have written over 200k words from 2022-2023.
9.) There are dozens of ways to do an outline from precise analytical deconstruction that goes scene by scene to the minimalist bullet point list - it doesn't matter which one you use just have some sort of direction. A partial outline is better than no outline.
10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists.
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god. why does no one care about me in this damned house
#two days of hanging out with childhood friends having the best fun I’ve had all holidays just to be ruined by my brother#my god#firstly you have a complete fucking meltdown right before we’re supposed to leave despite you having a full 6 hours to prepare while im#in a rush to get in the car 10 mins after waking up because my mum didn’t wake me up#then you make us call you because you were feeling left out despite you specifically saying you didn’t want to hang out with these people#then the next day you agree to go and immediately start insulting me for laughs and then hitting me with hard plastic when I respond#you continue to do things to the rest of us and then complain when we do the same#eventually going to mum and conveniently ignoring any part where he hit me#then you act moody the rest of the damn day watching youtube and then say all that time watching YouTube was stressing you out#then I get home after a 40 min drive of josh crying over some unexplained problem with all the “stress” on his face leaving immediately#my mum asks me why I wasn’t feeling the best and I explain all the shit that josh did to me#and then she has the nerve to stay “why have you stayed so mad about this” as if josh doesn’t constantly pull this shit#apparently she thought all the times we didn’t fight were just normal?? as if I don’t have to constantly walk on eggshells around josh#and I had to explain how I constantly had to comprise for him and how I just for once wanted to have fun with my friends#and even then we constantly invited him to play with us#and then refused to#the two hour later I decide for once in my life to be vulnerable with my dad and get on the verge of tears explaining how I’m treated by jo#and how despite doing the actual limit to what I can mentally handle to appease josh he still treats me like dogshit#and he decides to make this about him and his brother and how their relationship worked#and then told me basically that my brother will never leave my life and I have to stay with him forever#I love my mother#My father and my brother not so much#but when it’s not about josh getting a pinprick and having to cancel a 2 week holiday#it’s about mum and dad and how they are going through a rough patch and constantly have to let us know#the only time it feels like I’m paid any attention to at all is when I’m with my sisters or I get a grade back#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#vent
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