#if it was just last minute visiting family (which was lovely) this Saturday that would be one thing

[1ncandescentrage]

I hate when my routine gets disrupted. I hate it I hate it I hate it

[kigozula]

As Long As We’re Together - Sokkla Saturdays 2024

Day 8 - Dreams: Deep Feelings, Part 1

FF.net & AO3

A sequel will follow next week. ;)

Four years have passed since the last time he left his tribe. Four years since he last visited the Fire Nation. Despite it all, Sokka got used to his time in Shu Jing. As a gift for his birthday, Kya and Hakoda arranged a trip to the scenic town. It has been Sokka’s dream to learn the art of sword fighting.

Hakoda knew Piandao personally. The Water Tribe Chief visited the Fire Nation on occasion, for trading and projects that involved both nations.

Weeks passed and Sokka’s lessons neared the end. The practices intensified. Piandao was disciplined, wise and friendly. He was impressed by how fast Sokka progressed.

Everything has been worthwhile on the island. Sokka missed his family, but he still enjoyed his time in Shu Jing. He knew from the start that he would give his best to master new skills.

What Sokka never expected though was to fall in love. Especially with her.

At some point, the most beautiful, complicated, and deep woman he ever met arrived to Piandao’s mansion. Life has not been the same since that day.

Princess Azula was Piandao’s guest. Fire Lord Ozai tasked her with working on the base of the newest project with one of his most trusted allies: Piandao himself.

Sokka’s world changed the minute Princess Azula set foot on Piandao’s mansion.

At the beginning, things seemed easy. Sokka knew her from their previous visits to the capital. Their families had dinner and worked together. Years passed and both Azula and Sokka matured, and spending time in the same place for so long was different.

She surprised him by accepting his hand when he greeted her in the garden. After that, things started to become spirited. Very often Piandao found them involved in heated arguments. At some point he gave up trying to slow them down and went for a walk.

Once, they quarreled seriously. Sokka said harsh things as defense to her harsh words. Their relationship changed after that fight. They talked it out and formed a new connection, which surprised Piandao. From that day on, they talked more, ate together, walked around town. Sokka even showed her his word skills and they shared some fighting stances with each other.

They got used to each other’s company. And without their awareness, they grew close.

Today, upon waking up Azula was disappointed to find out Sokka was gone. Apparently he went to buy groceries with Fat.

Azula paced around the garden when they finally came back. Sokka carried bags, his muscled arms flexing.

“Good morning Azula.” he greeted her white a smirk. He clearly noticed her staring.

“You took long.” she said.

“Don’t worry. I am back now, you can stare at me as long as you want.” he winked.

“I was just looking at the many bags. Did you buy the whole market by any chance?” she said, trying to hide her mild embarrassment.

He laughed softly, “I bought your favorite fruits.”

Azula smiled at that. She was ever so amazed by the little things he noticed on her.

“You want to train today?” Sokka asked her.

“Yeah, I already started warming up.” she replied.

Suddenly Fat joined their conversation with something Azula didn’t like at all.

“Princess, you might have competition. We took longer today because girls were asking him for favors.” he said.

Fat liked the princess and often made fun of her and Sokka, as long as her guards weren’t around of course.

Azula’s insides twisted at his declaration. She hoped the anger she felt wasn’t seen on her face. She turned to Sokka with blazing eyes, who looked incredibly pleased. It took willpower not to slap him. He was clearly enjoying her reaction.

“You know girls here?” Azula asked distasteful, “Are they your friends?”

“Yes, they are. Since I came here, I spend time with them when our ways cross. They get happy when they see me.”  he told her smiling.

Fat took the bags and walked inside the mansion, after tossing the bait at her.

“Good to know.” Azula smiled sarcastically. “I’ll do my training alone, you can go play with your precious friends.”

Before she could turn around, Sokka took a wide step and stood directly in front of her. He sensed her anger was about to turn into hurt, and he wouldn’t allow that.

“Hey now. Don’t tell me you are jealous of children playing ball and asking me to join them when I walk past.” he said smiling.

Azula knew she couldn’t hide her embarrassment now. That bastard had tricked her. But she was relieved. Her tension was going away.

“I wasn’t jealous. You think too highly of yourself.” She pushed him away by his chest and turned around. But Sokka took her hand and whirled her around, so that she came face to face with him. He didn’t let go of her hand, which was behind her back now.

“You are jealous princess. I know. Admit it.”

“How are you so sure of that? Why would I be jealous of you Sokka?“ she said smiling. Her voice taking a challenging tone.

“You know why.” Sokka whispered.

They were coming closer and closer and closer…. Until…

“Breakfast is ready.”

They separated immediately. Piandao stood at the door. His face unreadable. Azula felt uncomfortable about the fact that he saw them. She hoped he wouldn’t tell her father.

---------------------------

Days passed and fear was growing inside of their hearts.

Sokka went to Azula’s room. Sharing this moment in private was important. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye properly on the shore.

“This goodbye is temporary. I promise Azula.” he told her cupping her cheek gently.

Azula couldn’t manage to form words, so she just nodded.

“Shhh come here.” Sokka pressed her into his strong chest, as tears formed in her eyes. With one hand he caressed her hair and the other surrounded her waist. He inhaled her scent, she clung to him, her heart calming.

They pulled away, noses touching. Sokka caressed her cheek and Azula’s eyes slowly closed and…

“Princess Azula, your guards are on the shore. Your ship is ready to take off. We’re going to escort you there.” Piandao called from the other side of the door.

Azula instinctively pulled away completely when she heard his voice.

Piandao gave her all the important documents for the project and thanked her. She thanked him as well and said farewell. Entering her ship never seemed so difficult, but she mastered it.

Piandao looked at the way her eyes watered and then at the melancholic expression on Sokka.

He couldn’t help but smile.

[faithhopeloveandtherapy]

We have been away for the weekend to visit d2 and to celebrate Mothers Day. d3 didn’t come as she has exams this week so stayed at home to revise.

The weekend has had some really lovely bits but also some really stressful bits, and the really stressful bits are overwhelming and leave me feeling so exhausted and drained. H seems to be in this phase where he doesn’t pay attention when driving, last month he randomly crunched into the side of another car as he parked because he didn’t see it, and then on Saturday he was doing a three point turn and reversed at full speed into a high kerb and scrunched the exhaust. Like literally the exhaust pipe that should be horizontal now has a kink in it and points at the ground. Then when he drove the car after that, there’s an ominous squeaking form underneath the car like something is loose.

This nearly sent me over the edge, I am all like “the exhaust is going to fall off and how are we going to drive four hours home and the car is doomed” and H is like “ah well there’s nothing we can do about it just now” and I’m like “that’s exactly my issue!! there is nothing we can do about it it!! And we are stuck with this situation that leads to certain doom!!” I don’t know how to get myself out of situations like this, my anxiety just runs riot and takes me over so I go into a shutdown spiral. I had to self medicate with alcohol to even get back to minimal functioning. I do try and do a bit of CBT on myself and think about what evidence is there that my worst case scenario will happen, and what might the best case scenario be etc but it just has minimal impact.

Then at the end of last week, H’s phone died. This was an entirely predictable event that I have been telling him to get a new phone ordered for the last couple of weeks before this exact scenario happened, but of course he left it to the last minute grrrrr. So now his phone has died and we cannot communicate when apart. So in the complex situation of checking out of air bnb, retrieving the car from a mile away and collecting d1 and d2, he went awol and I couldn’t get hold of any of them to find out what was going on, and none of them thinks how I might be feeling and therefore they should let me know. So I got in another anxiety spiral thinking of the worst case scenario.

Anyway I probably sound really whingy but these things are really difficult for me and make me feel really sad that nobody in my family thinks or cares enough to take the care of me that I take of them, and then I’m expected to be all happy and cheerful about my Mother’s Day treat when I’m actually feeling sad and invalidated. I did manage to say how I was feeling and we all did some repairing and then I put my negative emotions to the side and enjoyed the lovely and thoughtful treat that my girls had bought for me.

If you were friends with me on Facebook you would just see all the highlights and it would look like I had an amazing weekend being spoilt, which I did, but its only half the story. This is the other half.

[luvly-writer]

“You are my sunshine”

Part 35: We give thanks

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Jason Todd x Latina! Reader

Social Media Au

Status: Finished

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Jason receiving the love he dESERVES.

Author’s note: Honest,y, I love you guys so so much, you literally, your feedback, seekng you guys enjoy this story as much as I love writing gives my life! Thank you so so so much. Btw! I had to divide it into two parts, so this is just Thanksgiving part one.

Taglist: @lorosette @nanas-teatime @izukuisbaby @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @graywrites5567 @addictedtothefictionalworld @halleest @randobeetlehouse @prettyacademia00 @tamimemo @jasontodd-artemisgrace4life @mxtokko

Series Masterlist:

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The last few weeks have been a blur to you. Between helping Nola by sketching some things for her newest photo shoot background, to working with the finishing touches at the sanctuary, signing the contracts with Wayne Enterprises, Queen Industries, and Star Labs and working with all the paper work required, starting a new design for a gazebo in the Wayne Garden’s as a surprise gift for Alfred for Christmas, and spending time with Jason and his family, you were exhausted. You would have gossip sessions at lunch with Stephanie and Nola, a duo that was so chaotic and hilarious you left each meal with your stomach hurting from laughing so hard and visit Cass and Duke at the manor to watch movies. You would take Damian with you every time you went to the sanctuary and would take him out for ice cream after. Even some times, Jason would join you both and you guys would go to the arcade and just have fun. Alfred would invite you on Saturdays to have tea time with him, he would deny it but he was INVESTED in your family tea. Dick would drop by and watch KUWTK and the Bachelor with you (Nola and Jason would join and the three of them SWORE they were the best critics ever, it was hilarious). Jason and you would go to dinner twice a week and he quite literally spent the majority of his time at your apartment. He would crash there after patrol claiming “it was closer to the manor than his apartment and he didn’t want waste much time” knowing it was a big damn lie because his apartment was 15 minutes away from the manor and yours was 25 minutes. SMH, this man. You closet was half your clothes and half his, he had his essentials there, the only thing this man needed was to just say he lived with you and that was it. But he would be caught dead before admitting it because he was a little shit and liked seeing you roll your eyes and laugh in exasperation at his sheer audacity. “I am an independent man, I can live on my own” he would say as he is washing his face with YOUR headband, and you’d laugh and respond, “yeah? When was the last time you slept at you apartment?” To which he would roll his eyes dramatically and mutter, “…that’s not the fucking point” making you wheeze out a laugh.

Before you knew it, Thanksgiving day had arrived. It was three hours and a half before the time you had to be there and you were staring at five outfits in your bed trying to decide which one was better. You had already showered and straightened you hair. Now, you were just standing there on your towel looking at your clothes trying to decide. Jason had already finished getting dressed and was just sitting at your vanity chair in his phone. Soft music played was playing of the background since you had connected your phone to your speaker in order to get ready with music. You kept on alternating between outfits and muttering to yourself in Spanish, stressed cause you still had to do your makeup. Jason locks his phone and decided to just look at you, admiring his girlfriend in her in all her natural splendor. He already had the date where he would go with Bruce and Alfred to search and buy the ring and couldn’t help but feel a giddy sensation in his stomach with just the thought of calling you his wife. He started to smirk slightly hearing you curse in Spanish, finding it so amusing how invested you were in getting the perfect outfit. “Me cago en la madre……este no por que se ve muy de trabajo pero está lindo y este no porque aunque se ve lindo se ve casual. Does this make my shoulders look too wide? Does this shirt even match con el pantalón? Quejesto? (I’m writing it like this cause this is how it sounds with my accent, sorry if some don’t understand, it means “Que es esto?”) Ay noooooo……y si le mando una foto a mami? Ella nunca me dejaría salir fea.” The young girl mutter and Jason couldn’t help but laugh, finding her turmoil absolutely adorable. He stops once she drops her towel, finding her naked body as the most gorgeous thing to exist. He fucking swore, if she were to be a goddess, he would be her most devoted servant. He whistled lowly and when she looked at him as she started was putting on her shirt, he winked, making her giggle. She finally put on the outfit, took a picture and sent it to her mom, then did the rest with the other outfits. “Why do you send them to your mom and not ask me, I’m an amazing fashion critic” whined Jason. “A) the judgment of a Latina woman regarding clothes on a holiday never fails, and b)” she said nearing him and lowering her face to his, “you will say I look good on everything or that it would look better on the floor of the bedroom” she finished giving him a peck on the lips. He smirked in response and said, “which both are very valid answers and I stand by them” making her laugh. Her mom finally answered and she decided liked the choice that her mom suggested so she went with it. She changed to her fit and shooed Jason away from her vanity chair to start her makeup. He began to help her by putting away the rest of her clothes that laid on her bed and then threw himself on it to watch her finish getting ready. He stared at her in awe and she looked at him through the mirror and smiled at him. Oh……Jason was a goner, that girl, man, that girl literally owned his heart. She was his everything. He swore that if all good things in life were to be mixed and became one person, it would definitely be her. Time passed and finally,she finished getting ready.She looked for her purse and her shoes and once she had everything, she told Jason she was ready. He walked up to her and gave her a sweets kiss and grabbed his keys. They went down to the lobby and the apartment complex garage and got in the car. Before starting the engine, Jason looks at you and asks, “ready to meet everyone?” And you nod, your excitement to meet Wonder Woman was beyond the roof.

The ride felt too fast for your liking. You said you were ready but omg you were nervous. Wonder Woman was your fucking icon ok? You had the poster, you dressed up as her more than once you when you were growing up and frankly now that you thought about it, you were kinda embarrassed. It most have shown on your face because Jason laughed and teased you with, “you better not be backing out just because you were a little Wonder Woman fangirl” and at that you look at him him exasperated making him laugh harder, “if I recall correctly, according to everyone, you were also a Wonder Woman fan, so te callas” you shoot back and he nods his head laughing. “Touché, mi sol, touché”.

Finally, Jason parks the car. You got half an hour early, just like Damian requested because he wanted to spend time with you before everyone else arrived and stole your attention away. You both get out of the car, and start walking inside, hands intertwined. You walk into the living room and find Stephanie, Duke, Cass and Tim in a heated game of Mario Cart, oh……that won’t end well, knowing that- “I want next” said Jason from beside you, childlike wonder in his eyes and you hear Dick scream as he comes down the stairs, “So do I!” And you laugh at their antics. “There are a few other controllers there, knowing both of you would want to play and so would Kara, Conner, Roy, Damian and Jon later in the night.” Jason stiffened when he heard Kara was coming as well. She had quite the tendency to flirt with him at ANY chance possible and now that he had his girlfriend here he wasn’t sure how this would turn out. He knew YN trusted him and she wasn’t an insecure woman (I mean duh look at you, you are gorgeous) but he knew Kara had the tendency to be….excessive sometimes. His brothers would constantly tease him about it, since she was young and just crushing on him REALLY BAD, but it had gotten to a point sometimes where it was excessive and even they grew annoyed or uncomfortable. Before he could carry on going downward on a spiral, Tim continued, “But you will have to wait until we finish this one!” Steph pushed her elbow to his, “STEPHANIE STOP FUCKING CHEATING!” Tim screamed, “I AM NOT, YOU JUST SUCK!” She screamed back. “OH GOD HELP ME SO, I SWEAR TIM IF YOU FUCKING THROW THE SHELL AT ME I WI- TIM WOOOOOOOOW REAAALLY TIIIM ITS BECAUSE IM BLACK ISNT IT!?!” Screamed Duke, causing Dick, Jason and you to erupt in a big fit of laughter. Soon you felt two arms on your waist and look down to see Damian clinging to your waist. “Hi, mi pajarito, how are you?” You say as you crouch down and hug him tighter and you can feel his smile on your shoulder. “Good, now that you are here, I must present you to Batcow and Jerry the Turkey, they are most excited to meet you. Alfred the cat and Titus are enlighten to see you again” he says as he pulls you away and you laugh waving at the rest. After going and meeting all his animals, you settled in one of the living rooms of the second floor and you heard him talk about how nice his art club is going and that he met this girl whose name was Miranda and that’s she was “adequate” to hang out with. He told you about their growing friendship and that she talked a lot, specially about her crush on another girl in their class called Katie and how he considered her a terrible match for Miranda but he would be supportive as long as she made his new “ally” happy. You were happy to listen to him talk about his adventures in school. Honestly, happy is an understatement, after knowing all the shit the boy has been through, you were fkn ecstatic. He deserved to enjoy things people his age usually do, whether it was art club or hearing about his friends crushes, Damian Wayne deserved to be a kid. You were sitting on the couch with Damian’s head on your lap when your ever so loving boyfriend walks in. He looks at Damian, who you feel stiff at being caught so vulnerable, and you glare at his, daring him to say something that will make Damian mad. Thankfully, Jason catches the hint and tells you both, “The Kents, the Wonders, and Roy just got here, so Alfred told me to find you both.” And Damian perks up at the sound of Jon’s name. “Thank you, Todd” he says quickly before heading downstairs to his totally not best friend. You laugh and stand up walking towards Jason. You kiss his cheek and began to walk towards the elevator when Jason grabs your hand and pulls you to him, kissing you softly. “One last thing, mi sol” he says once you pull away and you look at him curiously. “Whatever Roy or Artemis say about me, it’s a lie” he says seriously and you bust out laughing, “I’ll be the judge of that,Jason” you say as you pull him towards the elevator and he laughs.

God, nothing could compare to how happy he is whenever you are with him.

___________________________________

<3

[joanofexys]

The Start of Forever

reposting an old jerejean piece i wrote literally three years ago largely so i can look back and laugh after reading the sunshine court

“You should come home with me,” Jeremy says it so casually one Thursday night that Jean barely even thinks about the words.

“We are home.” He mutters, focused on mincing garlic for a recipe that Renee sent him.

Jeremy sighs but Jean doesn’t even have to look up to know he was still smiling. He also knew the second he looked up he’d be smiling too. “You’re not wrong but I mean my family home. We have a long weekend and I’m going to go visit them. I’d love it if you came with me.”

There’s the usual enthusiasm in Jeremy’s voice but quieter, mixed with some hesitant hope. Jean could say no and Jeremy would drop it instantly, no questions asked. He spends a few minutes mulling it over, focusing his attention on what he’s cooking.

In the corner of his eye, he can see Jeremy take a seat at the counter. His boyfriend rests his chin in his palm. Jean returns the soft smile Jeremy gives him.

“How many days?”

“Three nights, four days. We’d leave Monday morning or afternoon.” Jeremy replies, adding on a moment later, “and we can always leave earlier if you choose to come. All you’d have to do is say the word.”

Jean hums, considering. “It’s not a no.”

They talk about anything and everything while Jean finishes cooking and Jeremy jumps in to help. They speak mostly in French and Jean occasionally pokes fun at Jeremy’s “horrible” accent. It had admittedly improved but Jean wouldn’t let it go and teased Jeremy at least once every time they held a conversation in French.

He doesn’t bring up Jeremy’s offer until after they finish eating and start washing the dishes. His body is pressed up against Jeremy’s, making things a tad bit inconvenient for them both but the contact is nice.

“Your family will be there, no?”

“My moms, Liv, and Jenna will be for sure.” Jeremy tells him, “Mel wants to visit if she can and she’ll bring Oliver and Bella with her even if Kamryn can’t come with. Rylie will probably stay for a few hours on Saturday too.”

“Meeting your family is a pretty big step.”

“Which is one of the reasons I completely understand if you want to say no. I know they’d all love to meet you but if you’re not ready for that it’s completely okay.”

“I think it’d be nice,” Jean admits quietly, staring at the plate he’s rinsing instead of looking at Jeremy. “We can leave early if I ask?”

He hears the fork Jeremy was drying click against the counter and feels his boyfriend reach up and squeeze his arm. It’s an awkward motion with the way they’re pressed together and Jeremy trying not to move away.

“Of course, we’ll be gone before you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

Jean blinks at him, looking extremely confused. “Say what?”

“You’re joking right?” When Jean shakes his head very slowly Jeremy sighs though his lips are quirking up and it’s enough to soothe any worries Jean might have about Jeremy actually being upset.

“We’re watching Mary Poppins tonight. And we’re gonna listen to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious until you can sing the entire thing.”

“I don’t sing.”

“Then I’ll sing the entire thing and you can just tell me when you have the lyrics memorized.”

Jean clears his throat, raising his eyebrows. “I think we should be making plans and packing to visit your family. Not singing children’s songs.”

“We can do both.”

“Sounds torturous.”

---

Jean absolutely despises the way he has to resist humming supercalifragilisticexpialidocious during the drive. But for the first half-hour, the car is too silent and the stupid song has been stuck in his head since yesterday night. True to his word Jeremy had turned on Mary Poppins and then proceeded to ramble about how much his niece and nephew, Oliver and Bella, loved the movie. He didn’t stop talking, whether it was in French or English until the damn song came on and proceeded to scream-sing the words.

He lasts until 10:45 am before he turns on the radio, cranking it up until a random pop song Jean doesn’t know the name of was near deafening. Jeremy shoots him an odd look but doesn’t ask any questions as Jean tips his head back against the headrest. Three songs later he’s fast asleep and it’s only after two more songs play that Jeremy dares to turn down the volume. Lest the change somehow manage to wake Jean.

He dozes for the next hour and a half, occasionally waking up only to shift in his seat, yawn, and promptly fall back asleep. His third time waking up he stretches his hand out onto the console and Jeremy subconsciously takes one hand off the steering wheel to intertwine their fingers.

The final time he wakes up it’s near 1:00 and it’s Jeremy’s voice coaxing him into consciousness. He’s talking about the most random things but pauses when notices Jean peeling his eyes open to glare at him. Jean’s met with the most blinding and brilliant smile and his expression softens, giving Jeremy an attempt at a tired smile.

“We’ll be there in a few minutes, I figured you’d appreciate being woken up before we get there. But I didn’t know if touching you would be okay.”

Jean yawns, scrunching up his neck and shoulders. He mutters something in French that Jeremy doesn’t catch. Turning in his seat to face Jeremy, which isn’t very comfortable with the seatbelt, he leans his head against the headrest again but keeps his eyes open and watches Jeremy drive. It takes him until they pull into the driveway to finally feel awake and he immediately grabs onto Jeremy’s hand, not even remembering letting go the first time.

“You still okay with this?” Jeremy asks when he turns into the cul de sac.

Jean nods, focused on fiddling with Jeremy’s fingers. “Yes.”

There are two girls rushing outside the moment Jeremy pulls into the driveway. One of them, the one who looks youngest who Jean assumes is Liv, wrenches open the driver’s door for Jeremy and climbs into the car to hug him. One of Jeremy’s moms, Isabelle, comes around to the passenger side to open the door for Jean. She has a kind smile and face that shows years of bright smiles and laughter. On the surface, she and Jeremy looked nothing alike but if you looked a little deeper the happiness she radiated was the same as Jeremy, something akin to warm sunlight. Jean had to resist scowling at himself, it was Jeremy who had made him sappy like this. The second he stepped out of the car he offered her a hand which she enthusiastically shook.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jean tells her, unsure of whether to address her by her first name or Mrs. Knox or even ma’am.

“And it’s wonderful to meet you, Jean. We’ve been waiting for this since Jeremy called us just gushing about how amazing you are.”

“Ma!” Jeremy exclaims, a red flush crawling up his ears and neck. Jean can’t help the amused smile that forces itself onto his lips and Jeremy rolls his eyes when he sees it. “Oh, that’s just the ego boost you need. It’s true though, you’re amazing and I could talk about it for hours.”

Now it was Jean’s turn to blush, pursing his lips and looking at the cement. Isabelle lets go of his hand but not before squeezing it between her own in a comforting gesture.

“He very nearly did by the way.” Stephanie Knox, Jeremy’s other mom, drawls. “This boy would not have shut up about you if he didn’t have early morning practices to worry about. It was the only reason he stopped and went to bed.”

“Mom, do we have to start with this immediately? We just got here.”

She pins Jeremy with a look that Jean can only describe as a mom look, despite having no clue what that would actually be. “Alright, alright. I’ll give it a rest until your sisters get here, I’m sure they’ve got plenty of stories they’d love to tell your honey.” Then she turns to the “honey” in question who is probably the most terrified he has ever been in his life and is praying to god it doesn’t show on his face.

“It’s lovely to have you here, Jean. We were thrilled when Jeremy called and said you’d decided to join us this weekend.”

“I’m happy to be here, Jeremy’s told me a lot about you all.”

“And Jeremy’s told us a lot about you.” Jenna, who was 14 if Jean was remembering right, shimmies her shoulders and waggles her eyebrows. Her grin widens when Jeremy pinches her shoulder and hisses at her to shut up.

“A lot a lot a lot a lot a lot,” Liv emphasizes, nodding furiously with wide eyes.

Jean shoots Jeremy a panicked look as subtly as he can, having no idea how to respond to all this. It seems he wasn’t subtle because both Isabelle and Stephanie seem to pick up on it.

“Alright let’s head inside. Jeremy, you can help Liv and me in the kitchen.” Stephanie says, already ushering her two youngest kids to the door.

Jeremy trails behind slowly, waiting for Jean to join him. Isabelle is a few steps behind them and shuts the door with a quiet click.

“You two can grab your stuff in a little bit, for now, you can just relax and visit. Unless you’d prefer to unpack now.”

“It can wait-” Jeremy’s sentence is interrupted by Stephanie’s voice coming from the kitchen.

“Damn right it can wait, get your tush in here and get started on seasoning this chicken.”

“You don’t mind chicken tacos for dinner right?” Isabelle asks. “We thought about trying out something French but Jeremy said not to bother.”

Jean nods, letting out a small nervous chuckle. “Yeah, that’s fine by me. I’m not picky.”

“Liar!” Jeremy calls out from the kitchen. “You are one of the pickiest eaters I have ever met, you won’t even touch half of the stuff Laila makes.”

“I promise I am not that bad,” Jean tells Isabelle, eyes wide. “Laila is a horrible cook, I didn’t know we were supposed to keep that a secret until it was too late.”

Isabelle gives him a toothy grin as Jeremy’s laughter rings out and she reaches out to squeeze Jean’s arm. “I’ll show you around the house and then you can help me pick out some board games.”

Jean almost bangs his head against the nearest wall when he nods again. This was by far the most awkward experience of his life and it was with Jeremy’s family for fucks sake. Though he could always reassure himself with the fact that he never properly learned how to socialize with people, especially those who are virtually strangers. He’ll treat this as a learning experience and hopefully interact normally with Jeremy’s family.

Besides, how difficult could dinner and some board games be? If it doesn’t go well they can always leave.

---

Dinner is one of the most awkward experiences of Jean’s life. It starts when Rylie flings the front door open and Jean absolutely will not admit to how much it startled. Mel arrives about fifteen minutes later with the twins at her heels giggling like maniacs. When Bella ends up latching onto Jean’s leg he throws Jeremy a panicked look and only gets his asshole of a boyfriend laughing in return.

Mel’s wife Kamryn is unable to make it but Mel makes up for the lack of her presence by showing Jean a bajillion photos. Rylie groans at that and sits on Jean’s other side on the couch, pulling out her phone to show Jean some photos of the animals from the shelter she works at.

When Jeremy trails into the main room, an insane amount of food balanced precariously in his hands, he shoos both of his sisters away after placing the food on the coffee table. Though he wants to Jean doesn’t question the fact that they seem to eating dinner in the main room and not the dining room.

Rylie settles down on the floor, pulling Liv into her lap even as her younger sister squeals and squirms before settling down so she can steal food from Rylie’s plate. Jenna tries to sneak off to her room before Stephanie calls her back and she plops into an armchair with a small huff. Mel dishes up food for her twins first before telling them to be careful about spilling anything and then starts on two more plates. Jean doesn’t pay her too much attention, not when Jeremy is laying back on the couch and pulling Jean into him. A position Jean still can’t believe Jeremy actually enjoys, he still worries that he’s crushing Jeremy despite all reassurance Jeremy has given him.

He blinks, bemused when Mel holds out the plates in their direction. Jerking her head in a signal for them to grab the plates. Jean does so, muttering a thanks, and silently wishes he could fly into the sun.

Gradually he begins to relax, Jeremy’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and across his chest something grounding to focus on. He stays on the outskirts of the conversation despite Jeremy, Isabelle, and Stephanie’s best attempts. It’s only when Rylie exclaims something in French, catching Jean’s attention, that he really starts to include himself. He starts by conversing with just Rylie, fully in French, and soon enough Jenna and Liv are asking for him to teach them French and it escalates from there until Jean is smiling and laughing and he feels more comfortable than he expected. Still awkward but he feels okay in his ability to carry a conversation with them all.

“You’ve never played Clue?” Mel exclaims as if he’s personally offended her.

“No…” Jean raises his brows, confused.

“Alright everyone clear off the table, we’re playing Clue right now. Jeremy I can’t believe you’ve let this happen.”

“Shut the hell up, Mel.” Jeremy mumbles, face pressed against Jean’s hair. “He’s doing his best.”

Jean pinches him in the side, thinking about Jeremy chastising him about Mary fucking Poppins last night.

That night Jean discovers he really is quite horrible at Clue. It doesn’t work the same way as observing people and things in real life. No one knows what’s going on. It’s basically pure luck. Jeremy looks far too happy about his contempt for the game.

“Finally something you’re bad at,” Jeremy sighs in French. Rylie laughs into her hand and Jean glares.

Needless to say Jean loses every time. Mel wins every time, which makes sense with how much she clearly loves the game. And Jean discovers he doesn’t quite hate being around Jeremy’s family, he’d almost say he loves it actually.

---

Jean is sprawled out on his back on the bed, watching Jeremy unpack the rest of his stuff (cons to not being a light traveler. Jean’s grateful he has never and will never pack as much as his boyfriend) when Jeremy asks the question.

“So do you like them?” Jeremy sounds nervous, pursing his lips together.

Jean doesn’t like his worried expression and gives Jeremy one of his rare smiles in hopes of washing that nervousness away. “They’re amazing.”

“You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it, idiot.” Jean pauses when Jeremy sinks onto the mattress next to him and he takes a moment to wrap his arm around Jeremy and pull him closer. “They’re all very nice and I liked spending time with them. I liked seeing this part of your life and they obviously mean a lot to you.”

Jeremy tucks himself closer to Jean, tossing a leg across his torso. “They mean the world to me. Just like you do.”

Jean hums, pursing his lips to hide his smile. A moment later he gives into it, allowing a silly grin to curve his lip before pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Awwwwww.”

Their heads snap up, spotting Liv, Jenna, Rylie, and Mel huddled in the doorway. All four of them are smiling but they all flush as they realize they were caught.

“Now you’ve done it, Jen,” Rylie mutters, smacking Jenna on the shoulder.

“We were just going to ask if you guys wanted some hot chocolate and to watch a movie with us,” Mel explains.

��Uh-uh,” Jeremy says, grinning. “Sure you were.” He sits up to grab a pillow and chucks it at his sisters. “You definitely weren’t spying. Out, out, out.”

The four stumble down the hall, laughing loudly, and Jean’s gaze flicks between Jeremy and the door.

“Shut the door-” Jeremy pauses mid shout. “And they’re gone.”

“Mom,” Jean hears Liv yell from somewhere else in the house, “Jeremy says he’s in love!”

Jean decides that he really likes the Knox family. And he really loves Jeremy.

[justabooknerdposts]

Shopping

Prompt from Ao3: Would love to see a future fic of either Annabeth wedding dress shopping with Sally or Annabeth and Percy telling Sally they are having a baby!

*Again, still closed to prompts, just have this one and one more left to catch up on (last one will be up next week).  I loved this prompt and wanted to do both lol so here you go!*

SHOPPING, PART 1 OF 2:

Annabeth knew it was the right dress as soon as she put it on.  It was simple, but elegant, with a hint of Grecian style, while still being modern.  The skirt swept the ground and the fabric was light, perfect for catching the breeze at a beach wedding.  When she saw herself in the mirror, she smiled and teared up.  She could absolutely see herself saying “yes” to Percy in this dress.

“It looks like we might have a frontrunner,” the shop assistant suggested kindly.  She was an older woman in her fifties wearing a black dress, her gray hair piled elegantly on top of her head, and she’d told Annabeth earlier how much she enjoyed helping brides find their perfect dress.  “Should we show them?”

Annabeth nodded.  She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  She was spending the last Saturday of her senior year of college Christmas break going wedding dress shopping, while she and Percy were in New York visiting his family for the holidays.  She couldn’t imagine dress shopping without Sally there to help.  And, luckily, a few of her friends had been able to make it to the appointment, too.  This was the fifth dress she’d tried on and the other four had received mixed reviews from her entourage of Piper, Hazel, Rachel, and Sally.  The toughest judge, though, was Estelle.  The almost-four-year-old had expressed some strong opinions about two of the previous dresses.  And while Annabeth wasn’t going to base her decision on anyone’s opinion but her own, it would make everything easier if everyone liked this one.

She shouldn’t have worried.  When she stepped out of the dressing room, she couldn’t help the smile on her face.  Shyly, she did a small turn, holding out the skirt, and asked, “What do you think?”

Piper started smiling immediately.  Hazel’s hands went to her cheeks, her eyes bright.  Rachel studied it critically for a moment, like she was examining a painting, then gave an approving nod. 

Estelle, perched on the couch between Hazel and Piper, clapped her hands and told Annabeth, “You look like a princess.”

The best reaction, though, was Sally’s.  Her eyes welled up, even as she smiled.  “Oh sweetheart.  You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thanks, Sally.”  Annabeth gave her a hug.  “I think this is the one.”

“It’s for sure the one,” Piper agreed.  “We can see it on your face.”

Annabeth blushed and turned back to the mirror.  “I just—I can see myself standing beside Percy in this dress.”

“After he picks his jaw up off the sand,” Rachel said, which made everyone laugh.

“This is it,” Annabeth said, twisting slightly in front of the mirror to see the different angles.  “I’m getting this one.”

“Wonderful,” the assistant said.  “I’ll leave you all to talk for a minute while I put the order together.  Would you like to add our alterations package?  There’s a discount if you purchase it at the same time as the dress.”

“That won’t be necessary.”  A dark-haired woman with grey eyes, wearing jeans and a white blouse, stepped into the dressing area.

“Mom?” Annabeth’s stomach dropped.  She was torn between being happy at seeing her mother and being concerned about why, exactly, Athena was here.

“Hello, Annabeth.”  Athena stopped beside her, studying her daughter in the wedding dress as if it were a battle plan.  “You look lovely.”

“Th-thank you.  How did you know we were here?”

Athena raised an eyebrow.  “I was given to understand that it is traditional for the mother of the bride to attend wedding dress shopping.”

“Oh, of course.”  Annabeth exchanged glances with Piper and Hazel, who both looked alert as they watched this conversation.  “I just didn’t realize it was something you’d want to do.”

“It’s not something I would typically do,” Athena agreed, moving to stand beside Annabeth, her hands going to the dress, gently tugging and tucking it so that it fit more tightly at Annabeth’s waist, highlighting her figure.  “But I’m willing to make an exception for you.  And offer my services as a seamstress to make the alterations on your dress.”

Annabeth’s eyes widened.  “Seriously?”

Athena smiled thinly.  “Yes, seriously.  I am the goddess of weaving, after all.  I think I can manage this task.”

“Thank you.”  Annabeth was stunned.  She and her mother hadn’t always had an easy relationship.  And she knew Percy had never exactly been Athena’s favorite.  So to get her support in this way meant a lot.

As much as she appreciated her mother’s visit, though, Annabeth could definitely tell everything was more tense while the goddess was present.  Luckily, after taking Annabeth’s measurements by studying the sample dress, Athena nodded, gave Annabeth instructions on how to contact her to make the alterations once her dress arrived, then left as abruptly as she’d arrived.

Once they were back on the street, Annabeth walked beside Sally, Estelle holding both their hands, insisting that they swing her across the cracks in the sidewalk.

“Thanks for coming today, Sally,” Annabeth told her.

“Of course, Annabeth.”  Sally smiled at her as they swung Estelle again.  “I wouldn’t have missed it.”  Her voice turned more careful, though, as she said, “It was nice of your mother to come.”

Annabeth nodded.  “It was.”  She shot a smile at Sally.  “But I’m really glad you could be here, too.”

Sally’s eyes crinkled the way they did with a true, genuine smile and she reached over with her free hand to squeeze Annabeth’s arm before Estelle once again insisted that they swing her.

*

“How was dress shopping?” Percy asked Annabeth later, when it was just the two of them snuggled on the couch at his parents’ apartment, watching TV after everyone else had gone to bed.  “Did you get one?”

She nodded against his shoulder.  “But you can’t see it until the wedding.  It’s bad luck.”

“Do you actually believe that?”

Annabeth shrugged.  “I’m not risking it, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy chuckled and kissed the top of her head.  “You’re probably right, as usual.”  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  “I already know you’ll look beautiful, though.”

Annabeth hid her smile against his t-shirt.  Raising her head, she met his eyes, gorgeous as ever, and told him, quietly, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Percy’s smile at her words made her melt.  “I can’t wait to marry you, either,” he said, leaning closer to kiss her.

Soon, in just a few months, she would walk down the aisle to him, wearing the dress she’d bought today.  Until then, it was enough to be cuddled close together on the couch like this.  Life was good.

SHOPPING,  PART 2 OF 2:

Sally was grateful to be inside the department store on this early spring afternoon, as it was gray and drizzly outside, the sky pressing close to the tops of the skyscrapers.  She was also happy to be at the store with her son and daughter-in-law, helping Percy find new clothes for an upcoming formal work event.  Annabeth had insisted that Sally accompany them.  “We’ll need a tiebreaker,” she’d told Sally on the phone the day before.  “Besides, nice clothes aren’t always Percy’s strong point.”

So Sally had happily agreed to join them.  They would be meeting Paul and Estelle afterwards for dinner.  Sally had dropped Estelle off at her dance class on the way here, and Paul would be picking her up on his way to dinner after work.

It didn’t take too long to find a nice button-down shirt and a pair of dark gray pants for Percy.  He’d initially wanted a blue shirt, of course, but Annabeth had insisted on a green one that complemented his eyes.  Sally hadn’t really done her job as tiebreaker, since she’d agreed that her son looked very handsome in both shirts, but Percy had eventually given in good-naturedly to his wife, especially after she agreed to wear a blue dress to the event.

“You’re my plus one,” he told her with a wink.  Annabeth playfully smacked his arm.

Sally smiled.  They were as cute now as they had been at sixteen.  And she was very happy that Annabeth was an official member of the family.  As they started walking across the department store, back towards the door (Sally thought, although she’d gotten a big turned around in the giant store), her phone buzzed.  She checked it, following the shopping bag swinging from Percy’s hand out of the corner of her eye.  When her son’s footsteps stopped, she stopped, too, still focused on Paul’s text saying they were on their way, his photo of Estelle in a dance pose, and her reply exclaiming about how adorable the photo was and letting him know they were on their way out of the store and would see them soon at the restaurant.

As she slipped her phone into her pocket and looked up, she realized that Percy and Annabeth were both watching her.  “Sorry.  Text from Paul.  They’re on their way to the restaurant.  Did you need something else here, honey?”

“I’m not sure.”  Percy glanced at Annabeth, the corner of his mouth quirking up.  “Do we need anything else here, baby?”

Sally was a bit surprised at the term of endearment, as Percy didn’t always use those for Annabeth in front of his mom, but they were also still pretty early in their marriage, so she figured maybe it was just a happy newlywed thing.

Annabeth crossed her arms, biting her lip, glancing at Sally before telling Percy, “I don’t know, baby, what do you think?”

Sally frowned, narrowing her eyes.  Clearly, something was up.  “What are you two—”  Suddenly, she realized where they were standing.  “Why are we in the baby department?”

Percy raised his eyebrows at his mom.  Annabeth was clearly trying to hide a smile.  Sally had a moment of confusion, glancing from her son and daughter-in-law to the racks of tiny, pastel-colored clothes.

And then she got it.

“Wait.  Are you—” Their giant grins were answer enough.  And then Sally started crying, right there in the department store. 

“Aw, Mom.”  Percy hugged her and Sally squeezed him back, hard.  “These are happy tears, right?”

“Of course they are!”  Sally sobbed, even though she was smiling as she kissed his cheek and released him to hug Annabeth.  “I’m so happy right now.”

Annabeth held on to Sally for an extra moment, and Sally squeezed her tighter.  “You’re going to do great, sweetheart,” she told her daughter-in-law softly, and Annabeth nodded against her shoulder.  They were both wiping tears off their cheeks when they broke apart.

“Well,” Sally clapped her hands, “while we’re here, I’m buying some outfits!  I’m guessing it’s too soon to know boy or girl?”

Annabeth nodded.  “I’m not due until September, so we’ve got a while still.  Thankfully.  It was…a bit of a surprise.”  She glanced at Percy with a smile.  “But we’re really happy about it.  Thrilled, actually.”

“Definitely,” Percy agreed, still grinning.  “And we decided not to find out what the baby’s going to be.  We’ll be happy either way, so it seems like it’d be a fun surprise.”

Annabeth made a face.  “It makes it hard to plan, but he persuaded me.”  She took Percy’s hand.  “We’ve had a lot of crummy surprises over the years, so it seems nice to have a good one to look forward to.”

“Absolutely,” Sally agreed.  She turned to critically examine the rows of tiny clothes in front of her.  “I’m sure I can find some cute onesies in here that will work for a boy or a girl.”

She did.  Ten minutes later, she was handing Percy a second bag to carry, this one holding half a dozen adorable little outfits.  Percy was still beaming as he took it from her.

“Feels real now,” he said, hefting the bag to show Annabeth.  “Our baby has clothes.”

Annabeth sniffled.  “That’s so sweet.  Thanks, Sally.”

Sally gave Annabeth a one-armed hug.  “You’re welcome, dear.  I’m just so happy for you both.” 

The three of them left the store, heading for dinner to share the good news.  Sally couldn’t keep a smile off her face.  Her son was going to be a dad.  She was going to be a grandma.  Above her, the clouds were breaking up, slivers of blue sky appearing through the gray.  It was a beautiful day.   

[bihansthot]

In a non self ship update, Ani has been sending me spicy/flirty basically sexts all day he’s so in trouble when I get a hold of him. He’s not having a great mental health day so I won’t see him until Saturday or Sunday but he made sure to get me worked up. He still hasn’t decided if he’ll come to my birthday party I don’t know if party is the right word if a max of three people show up but maybe he will? It would certainly be nice having both the people I care about celebrate turning 800 million. I wish you lovelies could come celebrate with me. 🩷 I understand if he’s uncomfortable though he and my partner have never met so it’s an awkward situation. Hilariously after chatting with Ani I got an ad for an Anakin statue on Facebook and I thought it was very funny and apropos. I have a busy week of stupid lab work and doctor’s appointments next week before my actual bday on Friday, and we still haven’t booked anything yet. We’re planning on doing a Vegas in Detroit weekend because we can’t afford to go to Vegas and I’ve wanted to go for years so we’re doing the next best thing and going to the casino in downtown and staying the night if we can find boarding accommodations for Denny. I know some of you are like “Sol you’ve had months to plan this” yes we have but we had to save up money and get Denny up to date on his vaccines to be able to board him so we can’t book anywhere until tomorrow afternoon after his vet annual. So it’s all kind of last minute. Hopefully we’ll find someplace and if not we’ll just have a quiet birthday at home, my big plans for my 25th heart transplant anniversary never went anywhere so it wouldn’t really surprise me if my milestone bday doesn’t work out either my bday rarely goes well but that’s just life I guess. Either way we should still be able to have a nice dinner which is what I’m really excited about, even though I can’t eat a lot anymore. I’m only 35-40 mins from the casino so really I can go anytime if it doesn’t work out I just thought it’d be fun to have an irresponsible staycation somewhere fancy. I just wanted us all to have a fun time but I suppose we’ll see what the universe has in store for us. I really never thought I’d see this bday as I was supposed to die as a kid so it’s kind of a huge deal I just hope it’s a fun one, my last big milestone bday was my worst ever (long story short my Mother and I had a very toxic relationship at the time, she got shit faced insisted it was her bday and ruined the whole occasion) so as long as it’s better than that we’ll be good. I unofficially celebrated my bday when I was with my family earlier this week and had my favorite cake but much to my dismay my nephews were not fans of it but they loved my cooking and begged my brother to get lessons from me so that was nice. How do an 8 and 10 year old not like a caramel chocolate cake?! I guess the pecans were the problem they don’t have allergies they just don’t like nuts I guess. They’re very picky and light eaters but I guess that’s expected at that age, hell I’m a billion and am still very picky but it’s a texture issue for me not a taste one. All in all the visit was successful but my partner never got a chance to tell their Mom they’re nonbinary and use they/them pronouns and have a new name. The drive was awful, we got a speeding ticket on the way to my partner’s Mom’s and had insane traffic and weather driving back from my folks in Florida, turns out Denny barks incessantly when the windshield wipers are on 😭 We made it safely though so that’s what’s most important, I haven’t made any weight loss progress though because of all the holiday food and lack of exercise. No excuses now that my routine is back to normal, back to the elliptical and healthy foods. Just figured I’d update you lovelies on what’s going on with me, I’ll post later in the week after my cardiologist appointment to keep y’all up to date with that too. Sending lots of love.

XOXO

Sol

[tenshiharmonia]

So, I went to see the Super Mario movie saturday afternoon and I must say, I had an absolute blast. Don't get me wrong, it was far from perfect. And I'll have to agree that it could have used ten or fifteen more minutes to pace things a little more organically. But really, I had a smile on my face the entire time. As a Bowser fan, the film was an especially exhilarating treat. From enjoying himself at a heavy metal concert, to bashfully trying to woo the princess, writing her an exquisitely awkward love song and rehearsing his proposal with Kamek, to ruthlessly tearing into the hero after they saved the day ruined everything he worked so hard towards, he walked such an astounding line between adorable and intense (also, I'd like to add that he was really, really sexy :3 ). Not that the other characters weren't delightful too, of course. I must admit, I'm actually quite surprised that they chose to address Peach's origins. I mean, even back when the brothers being from Brooklyn was a staple of the series, the incongruity of a (seemingly) human princess leading a nation of mushroom people never really came into question. If a sequel there is, I'd definitely like for that point to be explored a little more... Also, I'm particularly fond of the way the Kongs were integrated into the story. To tell you the truth, I've never really cared for the DK side of the franchise all that much. But really, the visit to the Jungle Kingdom was quite a riot, both in terms of action and worldbuilding. And let’s not forget the sheer insanity of the Koopa General... Really though, that movie was just, so much fun. Bright, colorful, light-hearted, unadulterated fun. Which is not to say that it was without emotions. The brothers' feeling of inadequacy, both expressed in different ways, their tearful reunion, the need to prove themselves to the world and to each other... Truly, fraternal affection is the crux of the film. In fact, family as a whole is an omnipresent theme throughout the story, from Peach's devotion to the Toads, to DK's own issues with his dad. And I'm not even talking about the love that was poured into all the little details. It's already been said a thousand times, but there are so many Easter eggs* hidden in the film, be it in the picture or the score. I've seen the movie being described as a "love letter" to the franchise and its fans, and really, I feel like there is no better way to put it. In a sense, I'd say it's like a puzzle : watching all the different little pieces fall neatly into place is also part of the fun. Sure, it wasn't The Last Wish, but then again, it didn't need to be. In its case - and I insist on the word "case"** -, the world is the plot. And the film executes it spectacularly. Anyway, this accolade is probably long enough (unlike the movie, which could afford to be much longer, if only because what we got was so good already :p ). Still, let me emphasize one last time what a joy it was to see the Mushroom World come alive this way, in such a luminous and bustling manner. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if instead of a sequel, we were to get a whole-ass show, in the vein of the first three cartoons. A mix of slice-of-life and adventure to explore this beautiful version of the Mario universe and everything it has to offer. I think it would be great. With that being said, thank you for listening to my divagations on the matter. As always, it was nice to get those thoughts out of my system. I mean, it was such a wholesome movie ; I needed to share my giddy excitement with the universe. ^_^

* Quite fitting for the season, now that I think about it. Although the film is so rich in references, that I'd almost be tempted to refer to them as "Fabergé eggs". XD ** I know better than anyone how good at storytelling the franchise can be - as recently demonstrated by Sparks of Hope -, so don't take this statement as a generalization it isn't meant to be.

[thebaronmunchausen]

Some women have asked me why despite their intelligence, success, decent looks, personality, and openness, they are still unable to have a man. Or if they do get one, the man seems to vanish immediately. I laugh at these questions and wonder why, of all people, they ask me. Perhaps it is because I know everything.

I will begin my answer with a story.

When I was in the sixth grade I had a seatmate named Isabel. I forget her last name but I do remember that she was a sort of tomboy. She seemed to be struggling with herself and was in constant need of attention. I believed myself to be a good and virtuous eleven-year-old Catholic boy and I resolved to bear the brunt of her inexplicable tantrums. I thought that it was my Christian duty to befriend her and make her feel at ease.

One day she demanded that I show her where I lived. I saw nothing wrong with this so I led her to my house. “This is where I live,” I said upon reaching the entrance to our building. Then I sent her off for it was lunchtime and children in my family were not allowed to bring guests home without prior permission.

One Saturday afternoon our maid announced that I had a guest. “It’s Isabel,” the maid said teasingly.

“Where is she?”

“Surprise!” Isabel said as she climbed up the stairs. I was aghast. She had broken our family protocol. No guest is allowed in our third floor living room without prior clearance. Apparently she had followed the maid when she’d been told to wait for me to come down and receive her.

Not forgetting my manners, I instructed the maid to buy some snacks. The maid gleefully obeyed.

“So why are you here?” I asked. I was peeved because I was looking forward to a fun-filled afternoon alone with the television.

“Oh nothing,” she said, “Just want to hang out”. She jumped onto the sofa and put her feet up on the coffee table with her shoes on. I was scandalized by her casualness. We did not display such casualness in our own living room. But I said nothing.

“What do you want to do?” I asked politely.

“Do you have a movie?”

“Yeah, but can we watch it after Shaider and Maskmen?”

She began to exhibit the beginnings of a tantrum.

As host, my training demanded that I pop in the betamax.

Thirty minutes into the movie, which I loved, she declared, “This is boring. Let’s go out”

“I can’t just go out. I have to ask permission.” Protocols must be observed.

“If you don’t want to go out, I’ll go home”

“All right, you can go home,” I said with great relief.

She went home in a huff.

Her sudden visits became a weekly nuisance. She would pop in inconveniently on Saturday and even Sunday afternoons. She interrupted my siesta and afternoons with my family. She would even insist on joining our family activities, which I would oppose vehemently by stalling her in the third floor while my family’s boisterous laughter floated down from the fifth. She was invading my life and my privacy.

One Sunday afternoon there was a party in our house. It was my grandfather’s birthday. The maid informed me that Isabel was at the gate between the first floor and the mezzanine.

“What are you doing here?” I asked without bothering to hide my irritation.

“I just want to see you and hang out,” she said as if it were her right.

“We have a party going here. There are lots of guests.”

“I want to come up.”

“I can’t let you come up. I will not be able to attend to you because I have all my cousins here too.”

“Where will I go?”

“You can go to the twins’ house.” Our classmates, who were twins, lived a few blocks away.

“I don’t know where they live.” It was an obvious lie. Everyone knew where the twins lived. “Why don’t you come with me?”

I was incensed. “Are you dense? We are having a party here. They will be looking for me. I will get scolded.” She was teary-eyed but I was tired of her drama. “I don’t want you to come to my house ever again without an invitation!”

She stood silent on the other side of the gate. She turned around and slowly walked down the stairs. I turned around and went up the stairs without giving her a thought. Cake and ice cream were being served and I wanted a third helping of lechon.

Two weeks after my display of rudeness, our class seating arrangements were changed. We never spoke to each other again.

What can we glean from this experience? The first thing I would say to women on the prowl is: “Lay off”. You may say that it’s the 21st century. Women can go after the men they like. That is unnatural. No decent (since decent is what you are all looking for) man will truly desire a woman who goes after him with such doggedness. That woman would only be a nuisance.

We, and by ‘we’ I mean males, want to pursue and not be pursued. We have our own little world, our rituals, our hobbies, our quirks, which we greatly treasure and would only abandon for someone we think worthy. When we are interested we take three-hour bus rides to see you, use up all our prepaid call cards to hear your voice, stay hours on the internet to wait for a chance to chat with you, and even use our vacation leaves so that we can fly to wherever you are.

To all lovely women out there, do not make it easy for us. Just be your beautiful, confident, intelligent, successful and friendly selves and let us do the chasing. Difficulty and challenge make you valuable – a worthy prize to be won. Allow us to make a large investment of time and money in you. Only those who truly persevere in the quest to win you are worthy of you.

Auntie Jane’s Old-Fashioned Agony Column # 1

[engbergsinfinland]

Hello everyone and happy Tuesday!

Since last Saturday, when I last posted, we've had lots going on. I'll start with describing what happened on Saturday after I posted. We rented a car (from AutoRentti -- no Hertz or Europcar for us!) for one day and picked the kids up from skating training in it and drove to Western Finland to go to Moomin World. We've had been many times before and it was just the most beautiful day on Saturday weather-wise! We spent about 2 hours at Moomin World and the kids had promised me that they still had not "aged out" of it . . . . and I guess they hadn't! They were still very charmed and enjoyed seeing what had changed since the last time we were there.

When we walked back across the little bridge that connects the town of Naantali to Moomin World, just like last year, Eric jumped in the water and swam across to the beach ( he had planned to do this and was wearing a suit). I thought it was very funny when he did it last year and I still thought it was very funny when he did it this year. We met him on the beach and the kids decided they really wanted to swim, too. I had brought their suits, which I had bought at 70% off at Kappahl the night before, and told them they only had 10 minutes to swim because we still had a long drive back to Tampere and Alex would have been in his crate there for quite a long time, though I knew he could handle it because he's such a trooper. And then we made the drive back to Tampere and liberated Alex from his crate . . . and all was well!

On Sunday, Rowan and I went on some outings together and Eric and Cece went on some outings together (they went swimming at a pool and then in a lake!). Rowan and I took the tram out to where one of their skating practice rinks is and Rowan wanted to rollerblade back to our apartment and see if we could find a park that he had seen from the tram. Indeed we did find it and he played there for a little while, while Alex and I watched. Then, we went back home and dropped Alex off and then turned right back around and got on the tram and went back to where we'd been before, to go to the big store Prisma (like a Nordic version of a Meijer) where I had to make two returns. We also had to go to the Elisa cell phone store with some questions about our SIM cards. Then I promised Rowan that I would take him to the Pizza & Buffa buffet, where I'd taken and Cece the week before. Rowan and I had lunch there and then we trammed out to where his tap class was. I left him there and then went and ran some more errands, including getting groceries, and Eric met me at the grocery store.

The very next morning we took the train to Helsinki where the Fulbright orientation began. That was yesterday. Once we arrived in Helsinki and checked into our hotel at midday, we were off and running with Fulbright activities and, honestly, I've been running ever since! I am exhausted from all of these Fulbright activities. Even though the days have been jam-packed with different orientation sessions and speakers, none of them have been a waste of time. I have learned so much and have met so many great people already.

Yesterday's afternoon event was at a resort hotel a little ways out of Helsinki. And after our initial meat-and-greet sessions and some ice-breakers (we all distributed across the room to demonstrate where in the US we lived -- and such), we did get to go have some time in the sauna (be sure to say it in the proper Finnish way!). So, sauna is a real Finnish cultural tradition and regular visits to a sauna play am important role in Finnish family life. Even I, historically not a sauna fan, partook and it was hot, hot, hot! It is supposed to be a meditative, quiet, cleansing experience. I suppose I could use all of that in my life! Typically, people go into the sauna sans bathing suits but not during this orientation ;)

Anyway, also at this hotel were pools and an adjacent lake. The kids loved it all. Then there was an amazing buffet dinner and then we got back on the bus and returned to Helsinki. Rowan really likes the thin rye bread, slathered with butter, in case you've been wondering ;)

Today, I had to start the orientation just before 9:00 and we went to the Hanken School of Economics (a very highly ranked, Swedish-language business school) for our orientation activities. Eric and the kids met me at about 4:30 at the Sibelius-lukio Upper Secondary School where there was a musical performance by their girls' choir and a tour of the school and some refreshments. We met up with another Fulbrighter and his 3 and 1/2-year-old daughter afterwards and had dinner with them. Then, Eric and the kids decided that they were going to catch a late train back to Tampere rather than stay here another night (it was quite tight with the four of us and Alex in a hotel room and we'd discussed them bailing as an option). This way, the kids wouldn't have to miss school tomorrow. As I write this, they are on the train and will arrive back to Tampere just before midnight.

They had a great day in Helsinki, though, rollerblading all around, including at a skate park, and they ran into the famous Paralympian Blake Leeper, whose TV show "Are You Faster Than Blake Leeper" we've watched a few times! Blake was in Helsinki for a race and his next stop is Paris, for the Paralympics!

I have another very full day tomorrow, which which begins with a bus tour of Helsinki and is capped off with a reception at the US Embassy. I will write on Saturday about how the rest of the week went!

[ireceived-p8250000]

October 27 - November 2, 2013

This week is my week and Regine's too. We have a Halloween party on October 29th, hosted by my Aikido friends, Jonas and Christy, which conveniently falls on my birthday. However, I have a flight the following day.

It's a long weekend, and I booked a trip to Hong Kong with Roxanne because I promised her. I told Mansoor it would just be the two of us.

I'm quite excited about that.

Roxanne and I are sharing luggage. I know she can be annoying, but I plan to top her attitude by being a bigger brat since I'm older. Also, I am her aunt, and I’m paying. So, I let her plan. I think my whole savings will go, but I will receive my salary early.

Mansoor gifted me a travel picture book from Lonely Planet, and I loved it.

October 29, 2013 - Tuesday

I went to the Halloween party in my lace dress, bringing Mansoor along. There was alcohol, but we didn’t drink much. Mansoor wore a suit.

October 30, 2013 - Wednesday

“Hoy, happy birthday!” Jonas and Christy shouted as they sang me a happy birthday. I was flattered. I love my birthday—it's Halloween!

At 3 AM, we were ready to bounce. In the corner, my boyfriend and I were kissing. No tongues yet, just slow and sweet kisses.

I was hammered when I got home and didn’t attend school. Roxanne’s semestral break had started, so we prepared for our trip. My parents were going home to Isabela again, so nobody was in the house.

We started with the bus, both of us nursing headaches.

By 8 PM, we reached the airport.

I received messages from Mansoor that the girls had gifts for me, but he had to tell them I was on vacation.

At midnight, our flight took off to Hong Kong.

I checked my bank account after transferring from PayPal to BPI and it amounted to P50,000.00 This is a big money in this economy. Considering that the expenses incurred was from P20-30K. It's already big.

October 31, 2013 - Thursday

We arrived in Hong Kong and found our hostel, where we had to pay extra. It was fine because I needed to sleep anyway.

After catching up on sleep, Roxanne and I set out to explore the city. We wandered through the bustling streets, marveling at the vibrant atmosphere and neon lights. The energy of Hong Kong was infectious.

We visited Victoria Peak, taking the tram up to enjoy the stunning panoramic view of the city. The skyline was breathtaking, and we took plenty of photos to capture the moment.

In the evening, we explored the Temple Street Night Market, where we shopped for souvenirs and tried some local street food. The market was alive with activity, and we immersed ourselves in the experience.

November 1, 2013 - Friday

We spent the day at Hong Kong Disneyland. The childlike excitement in Roxanne's eyes was contagious. We enjoyed the rides, watched the parades, and met our favorite Disney characters. It was a day filled with joy and laughter, and we both felt like kids again.

The fireworks display at the end of the day was magical, lighting up the sky in a dazzling array of colors. We were exhausted but incredibly happy as we left the park.

November 2, 2013 - Saturday

On our last day, we visited the Tian Tan Buddha on Lantau Island. The serenity of the place was a nice contrast to the hustle and bustle of the city. We climbed the steps to the Buddha and took in the peaceful surroundings.

Afterward, we explored Ngong Ping Village and had a delicious vegetarian meal at the monastery.

In the evening, we returned to the city for some last-minute shopping in Mong Kok. We made sure to buy gifts for our family and friends, and a few treats for ourselves too.

As our trip came to an end, we headed back to the airport, feeling content and a bit sad to leave. The trip had been everything we hoped for and more.

We boarded our flight back home, exhausted but with hearts full of wonderful memories.

[shannysgolden]

Help. What do you think? Am I pussy?-Advice please

I (31 F) and my fiancé (28 M) haven’t seen each other in 2 weeks due to his work schedule. He has been working everyday, for 2 weeks straight and we haven’t had any time to spend together. In those 2 weeks I’ve dealt with stress at work and my sister (30 F) being really sick. When it became too much she was taken to the hospital Wednesday morning. A few hours into that day she was admitted for surgery. I wasn’t able to go with her because of work so my mom went. The next day, Thursday, my fiancé has a day off and was hoping to finally see me. To make it up to me we plan a movie date for the next day. I told him after work I was going to visit my sister in the hospital before visiting hours were over but I’d let him know if anything changes. I called him the minute I left the hospital and told him I was on my way home. I let him know that I made it but got no response and was left on “read”. The next day I’m in office and I’m calling him and the calls are going straight to voicemail. I thought he understood with the circumstances but it turns out he was upset that I didn’t communicate with him that I wasn’t coming over to spend the night. I assumed with all that’s been going on with my sister being in the hospital, that it went without saying that I wasn’t going to make it. Anyway we discussed and still made it to the movies. Had a great time. I really missed him. The next morning, it’s Saturday. We’re up early planning our day and we decide we’re going to have a picnic at Central Park. Never done that before so I was excited to do that with my baby. Before we made it to park, he had last minute errands to run which were hard to complete due to festivals celebrating Father’s Day and Juneteenth so it took a lot to get through the traffic. When we finally get to the park it’s almost 4. My sister FaceTimes me, cusses me out asking me if I wasn’t coming to see her at the hospital. I cave and told her I’ll be there as soon as I can. I asked my fiancé if he could take me there after our time at the park. He was livid. I tried to explain to him that this is what family’s do for one another. They are there for each other. His personal family dynamics different from mine. His family isn’t as close knit or as kind to each other as mine would seem to be. My family isn’t perfect, far from it but when it comes to things like sickness and hospital stays, we try our best to be there for each other. Fast forward, he and I took and 20 minute walk in the park talking about this emotional baggage my sisters calls seem to have caused us. He drops me to the hospital and I haven’t really spoken to him since. As a matter of fact, he had work that night and I would normally be there to wake him in time for work but being that I wasn’t at his place to do so I called back to back, just for him to ignore my calls and texts, then to tell him to stop calling him because he isn’t in the mood.

Any advice on what to do? I feel as though I am always in the middle when it comes to dealing with the tension between my sister and my fiancé. The middle would be my natural place to be, right?

I love them both but they absolutely cannot stand each other. And that makes it hard for me to be happy because I feel as though if I choose one the other is unhappy with me and it causes me a substantial amount of stress and turmoil. And although I don’t express this to anyone because I I don’t want to burden anyone else and truly no one would probably care how it’s effects me, it’s beginning to suffocate me and eat away at me emotionally,mentally and spiritually. So again, any advice?

[mygainyear2024]

Day 13 And, I got on the wrong train 🥴

Today I organised a trip to Loulé by train to visit the Saturday artisan and fresh produce markets and, after googling what to do there, I decided to book myself into wine tasting at Quinta da Tôr.

The trains aren’t that frequent between villages and there was no local bus connection from the train station to the markets / old city.  The only bus was at 8pm!  I decided not to walk the 6.8kms as the guy in the office said it was just industrial!  

Luckily Bolt and Uber are both cheap here as I knew I’d need them to get to the Quinta (pronounced kinta, the Bolt driver told me the ‘u’ is silent).

The markets were much busier and bigger than the ones in Lagos.  Sadly the coffee roaster was closed for holidays! Many businesses do this before heading into peak season.

Google did steer me to the Folhado de Loulé (more pastry with custard in the centre) at Café Calcinha.  I got talking to the couple beside me who were originally from Amsterdam.  They told me a familiar story, much cheaper to live in Portugal and they said Amsterdam is not the same anymore “there’s Chinese names on every street now” (their words!) They did tell me golf is super expensive in the Algarve though, minimum €250 to play for the day plus lunch and drinks etc! 

I wandered around with no plan, saw people swarming at the honey stand so purchased some, perfect for a batch of granola I need to make.  

I stumbled into a fabulous art gallery.  Marilyn was fantastico, but at €50,000 she had to stay on the wall!  The shop assistant recommended sushi for lunch which I jumped at, it was €11.90 for all I could eat!

A bolt ride up to the Quinta for a tour of the vineyard and wine tasting with bread and their own olive oil.  The owners wanted to buy the land earlier than they did.  The owner wasn’t interested at the time, the land had been in his family since 1500! Then in 2011, out of the blue, the owner made contact and said he would sell but funds had to be paid the next day!

I thought the tour was very informative including little facts like the reason for the human made dirt mound around the winehouse (“adega”), to keep the building cooler in the heat. I also liked the little experiments they are doing, eg using American oak and seeing the labelling on their French oak barrels. There was mention of using egg whites to clean out the 600-1000 litre vats and this is why they cannot claim their wine is vegan! Everything is manual, including the labelling and the imprinting of any stamps they receive for medals on each label.  And the bottles I bought were only €8 and €6! The €6 bottle is an after dinner / dessert cab sav which was a mistake.  They are not sure why it ended up so sweet and when they tried to replicate it, they couldn’t! With limited bottles left and the cute label I couldn’t resist.  Amuado means sulky, a metaphor to what they imagine the wine decided to do in the vat!  The tasting and tour were €14 (depending on the wine varieties sampled) and if I wanted to I could have used the pool.  It was a lovely 3 hours.  

With the cheaper option of an Uber back to the station I made it in heaps of time.  I asked what platform, jumped on the train at the departure time, thought oh cool this is a newer train with wifi and settled in to researching my next holiday to Vietnam and then heard ��last stop Faro”.  Ummmm, Faro is the wrong way! I got off with everyone else, then asked a passenger "where is this training going?", his response "Lisbon". I'm glad I got off when I did!

🤷‍♀️ I have no idea what happened, other than I got on the wrong train.  With a 90 minute wait for the next train I poked around the train station and then got back in enough time to double check I was on the right platform, on the right train! I managed to avoid having to pay again, I smiled at the ticket guy, did a Boris Johnson, laughed about how I ended up in Faro instead of Portimaõ (silly me!). I ended up back in Loulé 2 hours after I left it the first time! Yep, the trains aren’t very frequent.  Time to be bold and organise a hire car 😂

I ended up eating dinner (and opened a new bottle of wine) at a European hour!

[lifewithoutmeds]

February 26, 2024

feeling better, in general, about things, thankfully.

quick ... month's recap: Monday, February 5th: went to visit caroline in the hospital. also met up with grace, her husband, and patrick. grace brought delicious burritos from sonoratown and we chatted with caroline as if things were normal despite the fact that she had had a seizure, was hospitalized, and more recently, we learned that she had a large brain tumor that would likely need removing. i teared up seeing her in the hospital bed, in the hospital gown, but i eventually was able to stop. Tuesday, February 6th: Lorena swung by on the way to work and we chatted and caught up a bit. Later that day i went to a 6:30 showing of Poor Things at the local theater which i didn't love, but am still glad i saw, just to see. Wednesday, February 7th: In the office. It says ... lunch with Lana. what did we eat? Hmm, strangely no idea.

Friday, February 9th: Doctor's appointment, dinner with Lana, as she swung by with fish king poke and salads and we ate a nice healthy protein-filled dinner. then we ubered to Hot Goss in ... Cypress? and we watched Sophie Santos again and some other queer or allied stand up comedians, and it was great. i a bit avoided sophie as i had recently learned that she was in a serious relationship with a very reputable and older director, and so i wanted to stay out of the way, out of respect.

Saturday, February 10th: Matt K came over with some e-waste and we dropped it off in sunland, then went to Barcade to meet up with his friends, and then i rushed home to sprint out again for a speed dating event downtown. traffic and parking was horrible, but i met up with steph, met some nice people, and then we kinda went to town, eating at sushi gen, and then winding up at Eighty-Two, drinking too much, and making a new friend, who in retrospect I don't think i care to keep in touch with. Sunday, February 11th: No church as I was just too tired to do anything. Probably did nothing the whole day and regretted how a few hours of fun at night did not equate the entire waste of the subsequent day. Monday, February 12th: worked from home, then went to CVS to pick up photos of Rafa for grace's surprise visit. Wednesday, February 14th: In office.

Thursday, February 15th to Tuesday, February 20th: a whirlwind of airbnb's, hotels, meeting up with grace, her family, and her friends, antoinette, her family, and her friends. lugging a heavy duffel bag everywhere, taking endless subways and buses, taking my heavy jacket on and off, sweating, then shivering. there was some fun, but more crying, which i'm a bit too tired to get into at the moment and which i've rehashed enough to kind of be over talking about for now. i also watched three episodes of The Curse, and decided to watch it once i got home, even though it meant subscribing to the Paramount Plus channel. Wednesday, February 21st: In office Thursday, February 22nd: Dr. Sobhani appointment at lunch and Kelda afterwork. Dr. Sobhani was rather pleased at my progress so we pushed our next appointment out further than usual. i also felt some progress with kelda and i was calmer than usual, which was nice.

Saturday, February 24th: Just slept, for hours and hours. i think my mom briefly came over with some bread/pastries, and i ate it, chatted a bit, then went back to sleep. i felt a bit bad that i wasn't productive and didn't check off anything on my list, but i also felt that i really needed rest, and that my past week had been super draining and i kind of enjoyed just lounging about, knowing i had no real responsibilities, and zoning out to meaningless things on youtube.

sunday (yesterday), i didn't end up going to church, but a bit at the last minute, hung out with tracy, who is still reeling from the unexpected passing of her mom. she picked me up as i've been having car trouble, we went to Gap outlet in burbank so she could return something, meandered about the mall, did a brief hike nearby, and then got some sugarcane drinks and wandered a bit before she dropped me back off. it was weirdly ... like comfortable, and not stressful. it was ... easy. i think there are so few people i can be like that with. lana. maybe nida. and i guess her, which is weird because we've known each other for just under a year but somehow we're pretty similar and/or she's just so empathetic that she gets me regardless of how different we are. i also watched In the Mood for Love at the local theater at 7 and was struck by how much i still enjoyed it, and how it dragged less than i remembered, how effective the music was, and how gorgeous maggie leung was. new crush. although now she must be in her 50's or 60's.

today is monday, February 26th, and it's been a productive day of dishes, work, dropping my car off at the mechanic's, getting picked up by my mom, and treating her to pho. i just agreed to get dinner with Patti even though i subsequently remembered that i don't have a car, but I do have uber, so i'll just get driven over.

i'm feeling weirdly ... calm. is it the drugs? am i getting exhausted with the sadness? within a week the Sophie storm that had raged through me just as suddenly calmed down. this morning i took a brief walk in the morning as the sun rose, and i think even made my bed almost as soon as i woke up. i've been weighing myself daily and committing to losing a healthy and hopefully attainable 1 pound a week. i bought some apples and i ate one yesterday and one today. i'm trying to get in 1-2 servings of fruit/vegetables a day, and average 10,000 steps/day/week. i walked close to 20,000 steps yesterday, but today was significantly less, partly due to taking my car in during my lunch, and partly due to some random rain that prevented me from going after work.

but in general i feel more calm, less frenzied. i'm journaling, as can be seen, and i watched 1-2 episodes of The Curse each night until i finished it. i read a bit yesterday too and think that i might be able to finish this book by the end of the month, which would be fantastic as I started this in August or September and i've been having so much trouble reading, and just focusing on anything but my own misery in general.

although i'm almost always focused "on myself," i'm trying to just be mindful and intentional with how i spend my time, with my diet, my exercise. i'm trying to decrease screen time, see more shows, and experience things outside of my head, and outside of my condo. i've eaten at a bunch more restaurants and bars so far, so think i'm okay with that aspect, but am thinking now that instead of a bar/week, maybe i could switch it out occasionally with a coffee shop/weekend, and i'll sip some coffee and read a book for 30 minutes or so. and just be. that might be nice.

i'm also cleaning more, and noticing that there are things that could use a deeper cleaning. my flatware. the little dirt trapped around my windows that make it harder to open and close. my laptop. just finding little projects around the condo that make me feel mildly productive but also maddeningly dull.

and i'm remembering .... that i'm feeling more like a former version of myself, but one that i don't find so despicable. yes, i kind of just endlessly scroll for things i might like to buy at REI and random camping goods that once i purchase, i immediately forget, but i'm also enjoying movies again, i'm tracking things, which i weirdly like doing. i'm watching minimalism and frugal living videos instead of police body cameras. i also feel like i'm a bit funnier, a bit lighter, a bit more appreciative.

i'm hoping i'm on a bit of an upswing and this isn't just the minor blip before the inevitable fall. i want to be more disciplined, and feel like the central character in a story, in my story. i don't want to feel ashamed of the way i look, and want to be in a body that i'm proud of, and in clothes that i think flatter me. i want to make sure i get regular haircuts and massages and exercise and just ... all of the things. i want to feel and be healthier.

i think i'm doing a bit of a better job in trying to clean things up in my condo. i got rid of a few bags of e-waste, like jadai's old vacuum and my robot vacuum, some wires, batteries, etc., just things i've wanted to get rid of for a long time. i took some stuff over to goodwill, and to the animal shelter. there's a lot that i've left undone, that i just .... lost the motivation and lacked the wherewithal to address, but i can feel myself gradually starting to care again, noticing things that need repair and/or attention. like getting rid of the old line in my fishing rods, and giving them a rinse as they haven't been used since last june. steven t has been reaching out and updating me on his kids, and wanting me to spend more time with them. grace k's family apparently has lice right now, so can't be socialized with, but once they are, i'd like to see them too. i'm just .... feeling things other than negativity, which is such a relief.

[usmsgutterson]

F-150

Okay!! I said that, in the absence of fics, I would post a bit of original work here! That's what this is. I was in the truck we have today, hence the pieces title.

Trigger warnings for: mentions of the death of grandparents, and a few mentions of a car accident (it was non-fatal. Nobody in the accident--myself, my parents, and one unfortunate car, which thankfully nobody was inside of--was killed. Everyone except for the empty car made it out unscathed)

Getting in the truck has always felt like some kind of messed up happy-nervous-excited pit in my stomach.

The happier connotations that are derived from sitting in the truck have come from memories both new and old. Driving an hour out to see my grandparents for the weekend when I was younger and all four of them were still alive, spur of the moment trips to the valley where we go to the same stores, just forty-five minutes out from the place my family calls home.

Newer memories are mostly mundane--getting into the truck to go with Dad to get Mom from work, to shop for groceries and breathe in the air that does not circulate through the 1200 square foot hellscape I currently call home, but instead circulates through a thousand different places at once.

Getting to run my own errands while my dad listens to his dad-rock type music, occasionally going with my sister when she runs hers and listening to them talk, occasionally adding my two-cents to their conversation.

The nervous connotations are derived from memories of the first time I actually acknowledged that the one person in the house with a drivers license is probably less suited to be on the road than he used to be, and the memories of recent accidents and almost-accidents, which I keep in my head like a messed up near-rear-end merry-go-round.

I brace my shoulders every time my dad gets a little too close to the car in front of him and the accident alert that's supposed to go off fails to do so, am reminded of the last time it happened every time it happens again.

When I sit in the front passengers side of that truck and we're near the store where the depth of my fathers health issues really hit me, I mentally kind of brace my shoulders like I'm waiting to be looking at my phone one minute, feeling my seatbelt against my neck as the truck jumps over a sidewalk and my phone flies out of my hand the next. My anxiety kicks up like I'll hear my mothers panicked voice as she tells me her glasses fell off and my fathers voice asking what happened and telling us he blacked out.

There are other versions of the store we can go to, so we don't go to that one anymore. Nobody died in that accident, which is a tremendous relief, but I realized just how direly I needed to start trying to get my license in the name of getting my father the hell off the road that day and I remind myself to start studying for my learners permit again at least once every two weeks.

The more excited connotations of getting in the truck are derived from memories of going places. Going to visit my Nana and Papa before my Nana passed away, going to my aunts hotel so that we get the chance to see her before she leaves the city.

Going to my friends houses to laugh at their shitty jokes and get to be hugged and experience platonic love that I am now entirely certain I wholly deserve. Going to the mall to meet with said friends and walk around, occasionally dipping into stores to see if they have anything interesting and laughing in the odd time someone sees something with comedic potential and decides to turn it into a joke.

Going to the movie theatre with two of my favorite people in the entire world to watch FNAF and sprinting into the theatre because we were late, talking to them about it and waiting for my dad to come get me because one friend had offered the other a ride and I hadn't needed one.

Taking the truck with my sister so that we could watch Oppenheimer and then Barbie on Saturday of Barbenheimer weekend, talking with her while we sat in the parking lot of a grocery store that both of us loathed. Listening to her tell me about the guys in her romance books and not really getting to talk about my interests but being fine with it for the fact that I've never really been good at talking anyway.

Being in the truck is like a jolt of happy-nervous-excited-scared, and yet I keep getting in. Until we get a new car I know I'll just keep disregarding it, keep being happy to breathe in the cold air of January when I step out of the truck and head into a grocery store, keep being nervous every time the rear end of a car gets a little too close or expecting a car to rear end the truck again at complete random like it did during senior year, keep being excited every single time I get to go see my friends at their houses or at the mall or wherever we've chosen to meet up, keep being excited for every movie my sister wants to go see with me.

[helpinghanikan]

Stay in Sight

Sum: Tangerine isn't supposed to be doing anything too dangerous while he's recovering. The same isn't said for you.

AN: I'm sorry to who requested this that it took a minute. Work hit me with OT so I wrote this on my phone during breaks. Please excuse the grammar.

Saturday night at the mall is a busy place. It’s a big building, an easy place to get lost in or to lose someone in. Barely an hour in the building and already three different announcements were made for kids to meet their families at the front.

Tangerine was about to the be the next one.

“Stupid, mustached, sexy idiot…” You muttered while sliding through the contacts. Looking over the banister as if Tangerine will be one floor down, staring right up at you and waving. “Better answer.”

It’s only been three weeks since Tangerine was carried to your door. Covered in blood, a hole in his throat sew together by a back-alley doctor and breathing just enough to prove that he wasn’t dead. Lemon looked exhausted, but he was the only one in control during this time. Good thing, too. Otherwise the neighbors would have heard your screams at seeing Tangerine like this.

The first week was spent with Tangerine in bed. You and Lemon took shifts sitting by his side. To make sure that the wound was clean, but also to be sure that the idiot didn’t try to get up before he was at least a bit better.

A few rings and your call goes to voice mail. Of course Tangerine wouldn’t answer, this was likely his plan all along. Go out somewhere and then sneak away the moment you let go of his hand. He’s being trying to do this since you let him get up from bed: whether it was to visit the gym, pick up some food or even just take a piss you were making sure he wasn’t doing something else.

“We’re taking that two-month vacation, Babe. Whether you like it or not.” You had told him one night when he wanted to step out for a smoke. He had smiled when you said that. Which was probably when you should have known he was already planning something.

Next option was Lemon. Quickly scrolling your contacts until the little fruit emoji showed.

One ring and he picked up; “What’s up?”

“Where’s Tangerine?” You ask, still scanning over the people from the second-floor banister.

“Well, hello to you too, Love. I don’t get a greeting or nothing?” Lemon says with a fake voice of sorrow. He is definitely part of Tangerine’s plan.

“Lemon, please…”

“He’s alright, I swear. He’s just doing some shopping.”

Shopping, at least he wasn’t lying about needing to stop by the mall. Just trying to find him would be the real bear.

“You know where he is, then? Is he safe?” You were starting to sound like a concerned mother more than a girlfriend right now. “Damn it, Lemon, I just got him back.”

Lemon, always the big brother, is quick to change his voice. “Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay. I’m worried just like you, ‘kay? But he’s not going anywhere and I’m making sure of it this time.”

“You’re watching him right now, aren’t you?” You ask.

“’course I am.” He says although he claimed to have had a date today and couldn’t come. “I’m not letting that prick out of my sight either. And I hope you like pearls ‘cause he’s spending our last two jobs on them.”

Usually you would have laughed at that comment. But slight pressure of a person stepping into your space made you silent. It wasn’t Tangerine who was suddenly so close you could be spooning. Even if you didn’t have this conversation with Lemon you couldn’t pretend Tangerine was right behind you.

Tangerine was a firm presence with a cool, sometimes cold, feeling in his hands. It made goosebumps on your arms when he touches you. It excites when he finally talks after placing a kiss on your head. This person wasn’t Tangerine, but they certainly were a threat.

Especially when they leaned into your ear and whispered; “If you don’t want him to have another hole in his neck. You’ll hang up.”

“I wouldn’t mind moving him towards something else if you-.” Lemon was interrupted by the practical slamming of your phone. Silencing the only contact to your man or your friend you hand.

“Good girl,” The stranger seemingly coos. Sliding their hand into yours like a lover. “Very good girl. Now come along.”

The stranger was a woman. A non-descript white woman who would fit in with the countless other college students meandering around. Perhaps just a few years older and with quit a bit more confidence. She pulls your hand close, forcing you into her side where she puts an arm around you. Your phone now hers as she slides it into her coat like it’s no big deal.

“Sorry you’re part of this,” She says, voice low next to your head. “But a debts’ gotta be paid and you’re the only money Tangerine’s got.”

It’s pointless to ask but you do so anyway; “Who are you?”

He smiles like you are just oh-so-cute. “I’m your new best friend, Baby. Let’s go for a ride.”

The mall was still busy and seemed to be only made worse by the situation. This woman held you too close to try and slip away from. If she’s anything like the people Tangerine and Lemon usually deal with there would be no point in trying anyway. Best case scenario you would make some distance. Worst case and Tangerine is dead, along with several bystanders who have no way of knowing what is going on.

On the escalator a family denim jacket and tie peaks out from the crowd on the lower floor. Although he was a big man Lemon was pretty good at blending in with the crowd. Especially when he just stand next to a protein shack or some other gym bros and not look a bit out of place.

He make eye-contact and only needs a light shake of your head to understand. His own phone out and talking into with a smile. Totally not talking to Tangerine or anything, and certainly not walking in your same direction for any particular reason.

Into the parking garage and This woman is walking faster. She doesn’t give off any other impression than someone wanting to get their girl home real fast. The only hitch in the camouflage was the Cobalt taking a sharp turn right in front of you. Trunk ready to be opened.

Fear and logic two warriors fighting in your head. On one hand the fear makes you think of the trunk. A second location means nothing but death. If you don’t go in then Tangerine is gone. Lemon will have to live through his brother’s death again or killed himself.

On the other hand logic tells you to scream. Shove This woman hard as you can and starting running just as strong. Normal circumstance says that they won’t bother chasing if you run into a populated area screaming. It’s usually not worth the risk. Usually.

You don’t have time to think about which warrior you want to win. Metal is already hitting your knees and gravity takes you forward. Face first into the dark trunk that is quickly slammed shut behind you. Nothing to look for and nothing to find but the rough ground and harsh sides you could never hope to punch through.

“Lemon! LEMON!” You immediately start screaming, open hands slamming on the trunk roof. “Get Tangerine! Get Tangerine!”

Your man was still injured; he had left the apartment today with a pretty white bandage around his throat. You were gently when placing it on. Giving him a soft kiss when you were done. Smiling when he chuckled at the gesture. Demanding one onto his mouth as well.

The car takes a sharp right turn and you still almost feel his facial hair during that kiss. It’s almost enough to distract you from being slammed around from all the turning and sharp takes.

“Where is Tangerine?!” You scream, sure that they can hear you. “He better be okay!”

Although you yelled this like a threat, it wasn’t like you could do anything. These people weren’t like normal thugs and punks on the street. Who would run away at a warning shot into the ground or surprised by a brave victim. These were the kind of people who were after revenge against Tangerine.

Based on his past it’s not surprising that Tangerine would have enemies like this. What little you knew about his work usually meant there were always hurt parties left behind. Widows and orphans made from a single job that neither Tangerine nor Lemon cared to really remember. It was just another workday for them.

A few more turns and then it’s a straight shot for at least an hour. Long enough that you fell asleep in the warm trunk. Curling close until your knees were as high as they could go while waiting for the car to finally stop.

You don’t wake up when the car stops, only when someone slams a hand on the trunk hood. They don’t open the trunk, but they do keep hitting it. Again and again slamming into the metal that threatened to cave in, although that might just be a dramatic thought. Didn’t make it any less scary though.

Through the metal you can hear the voice of This woman and a male. Neither seeming to care that you might be able to hear through it.

“Going after wives are never good. We’re fucked the moment she dies.” The male says.

“Tit-for-tat, Tangerine take’s my boy I take his girl. If he wants to show up and make it worse then he’s gone too. That’s how it works, that’s what makes it fair.” This woman says, another hard slam to the trunk.

“Murders never- fucking move!” The man yells just before a massive impact hits the side of the car you are still trapped in.

While you are rocked completely upside down the car is now sideways. Pain and bruises will be covering you in the next few seconds and are going to stay for days to come. Especially when you landed so hard on your side. Only thing you’re able to see is the slightly cracked glass of a taillight peeking out from the trunk carpet.

A concussion is very likely with massive of a headache. Shooting, shouting and profanity make it all worse. Not that you can take a second to lean forward and cradle your head from the pain. Not when your trunk is given light through bullet holes appearing just over your head.

“I’M STILL IN HERE!” You screamed, as if that was going to make it stop.

When it obviously doesn’t stop you look back to the taillight. Using all your strength to rip the carpet away just enough. Cringing at the pain of broken glass and mental poking and cutting into your arm while reaching out to your elbow. Waving around, grabbing the ground, and tossing whatever you could get your hands on. All the while yelling for someone to remember that you were still there.

“I see you; oh, baby, fuck yes I see you!” Tangerine, or Tangerine’s voice at least, pants just outside the trunk. His strong hand, long finger, grab hold of your so tightly he could have cracked a finger. “Stay here. Just wait.”

He’s gone just as fast as you had found him. Leaving your hand grasping the empty air as stones scrunched under his feet as he ran.

“Lemon! Got a crowbar? Or a screw or a fucking bat? Something?” Tangerine yells.

“How about the car keys, mate?” Lemon yells back, jingling in the air.

It was more than a little bit dramatic the way you fell out of the trunk. Tangerine there to catch you before you could have landed on the hard ground. He holds you close enough that no one would be able to separate you again.

At least until Lemon shows up and ruins the moment.

“Who the fuck was that, man?” He asks, gesturing almost wildly at the two bodies next to the car you had just escaped from.

If there is something Tangerine and Lemon know how to do; it’s killing. This woman, who had started it all, was left mangled from the initial impact of Tangerine reaching the scene. She never had a chance when Tangerine knew she was the one who had taken you.

The man looked to have lasted longer. Having hidden behind the car and participating in a shoot out that only lasted a couple seconds, into a few minutes.

Tangerine quickly turns your head from the bodies. Not that he was looking much better, either. His hair was a mess, some splatter had gotten onto his nice white shirt, and his bandage was bleeding again. You reach out to the bandage, covering the growing red with your hand as if you could heal it with your touch alone.

“You said we’d stick together today.” You said. Almost angry, almost crying.

He cups your face. “I’m a fucking mess, I’m sorry. Fuck, love, I’m so sorry.”

It didn’t really matter how much he apologized. This was part of his life, therefore it made it part of yours. He can make promises and even try to quit but we all know that wasn’t going to happen. Not when the movie was so good, not when Lemon was with him until the end, and especially not when you never asked him to.

“Let’s go back to the apartment, please.” You asked, staring straight to tangerine to avoid looking at your kidnapper and what was left of her.

Lemon drove while Tangerine sat shot gun. No one talked, not until you moved Tangerine’s coat and felt the box inside. Black velvet, large enough for a necklace and earrings. Perhaps even a bit more.

“What’s this?” You asked, making tangerine jolt a bit from the surprise.

He looks at the box and sighs. Taking it from your hands, popping it open to show exactly what you expected. A row of pearls and earrings, salt-water raised, and silver chain to hold them together. “Completely forgot I snatched that.”

“I thought you were doing better?” Lemon asked, rather accused, Tangerine.

“I am or was. It was an emergency, Lemon. I didn’t have time to get in the queue!” Tangerine spat, not noticing when you slipped the box back from his hands.

“All I’m hearing is an excuse, man.” Lemon retorted.

You looked good in the earrings and necklace. Leaning forward between their seats tog et a better look at them. Only then Tangerine notice when you were close enough he could place a sweet kiss on your cheek.

“You look lovely,” He says.

“I better, because you owe me so much more than stolen jewelry.” You reply. Both as a joke and as a reminder.