#i wont get into it but just know i ended up Very physically tired and ill as a result ;-;

[notsotoy]

the curse of being busy (and you can't draw your beloved)

[daily-crabbys]

Crab blog might go on hiatus. I'm a little on the fence about it but there's some stuff going on that I don't need to explain so I won't. It's why I've been sporadic posting, and if I don't post tomorrow I'm probably going to be on a break for an indefinite amount of time. hopefully it won't be too long but we'll have to see. will stock up on some crab posts for my return if I do!

[lupismaris]

..

[afternines]

.

[poppy-metal]

MARRIAGE COUNSELING W ART PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD THE DEVASTATION THAT TAKES PLACE ON THAT COUCH

i think about it alot. tashi staying with patrick, her injury never happening. your arts college girlfriend and now you're married and it feels fucking stagnant, your relationship. but neither of you wants to give up. neither of you wants to reveal to the other true feelings.

under the cut because this got long and i have a whole au in my hear around this concept

you're only in counseling because of tashi. because shes still in your lives, her and patrick. and she recommended it to art when they were having one of their 'friend' lunches. and now here you are, because of course art took her advice.

he hasn't said anything, though. despite pleading for this. saying he wanted to save your marriage, that he wanted to love you how you should be loved but he didn't know how.

so here you are, on opposite ends of the couch, with the counselor staring at the empty space between you like that in itself is very telling. you suppose it is, in a way. couples who want to stay together should be unified, shouldn't they? you imagine how it would feel, if art had sat next to you. put an arm around you. squeezed you to his side. would you even be able to relax into him? its been so long since you touched eachother that way.

"so im picking up on some distance here," your therapist says. shes a small woman. almost swallowed by her chair. her glasses are perched on her nose as she gazes imperiously at empty space separating you and art. "not just physical either, though thats rather obviously there. but emotional distance. do either of you wanna comment on that?"

you cut a glance at art, expecting him to speak up since this was his idea - well. tashi's. but he just looks down at his lap, quiet. spins his wedding band around his finger.

you feel an anger so intense it pricks your eyes with tears.

"well, i guess you could start with the fact that coming here wasn't even either of our idea. it was his friends."

and now. here art speaks. his head jerks up and she shoots you an annoyed look. "you don't have to say it like that. you always say it like that. her name is tashi and she is my friend. and it was her suggestion, yeah, but it was a good one."

you look at the therapist - janet. raise your eyebrows in arts direction like, get a load of this guy. your legs cross and you start picking at a stray string from the couch.

"first words of the session and its to talk about another woman."

arts inhale is sharp and you can feel his eyes on you but you dont look at him. you can't. you wont. you're right, anyway. he can try to deny it all he wants but you know - you know what you are to him. you know where all your problems stem. you dont need to be here to make any grand discoveries over a fact you've resigned yourself too.

"i see." janet says. "and art having a relationship with this other woman upsets you."

"everything upsets her." art cuts in, sounding tired. his elbow is braced on the arm of the couch and hes chewing on his thumb in one of his nervous gestures. he always did that, as long as you've known him. he was a nail biter, he'd chew his lips raw, he'd nibble on straws, the ends of his pens. he was either lost in thought or agitated. your guess was the latter. "nothing i do makes her happy."

"is this true? are you unhappy with art?"

your skin feels hot. you shift around in your seat. the attention is all on you, and it feels like you've done something wrong, even though you know its literally janets job to ask questions.

"more like i know I'm not what he wants and that makes me...... really fucking sad."

art knees almost knock against yours as he turns his body to face you, giving you his full attention the first time today. you cant meet his eyes still, so you look at the faded spot on his jeans. light blue, like his eyes. you wonder how hes looking at you. cant make yourself look up to see.

"what." he stops. seems to gather some thoughts. tries again, with a steadier tone. "what are you talking about."

you try not to roll your eyes. your arm flings out limply.

"just that this whole thing is a joke, art." and you let out an exasperated laugh, even though nothing is funny. nothing has been funny or light between you two in a long time. "we're only here because the girl you really wanted to marry, told you to get your fucking shit together. you didn't ask us to come here because you wanted to mend something, you're here to please tashi. because if playing a good husband is a role she wants for you - well, you want to play it right, dont you?"

its quiet after that. in the silence you cant help but think about those early days. when you'd been full of love and light and art seemed to be really happy with you. you'd go on dates to the movies, walk through the park together with your hands swinging between you. laugh together and steal kisses whenever you could. you felt high back then.

it didn't even matter that art had a crush on tashi, because hell, you had one too, at the time. but she'd started dating patrick, and they seemed to mesh well together. they were both so intense and passionate. back then, you'd been alot closer to tashi yourself. patrick too. you remember the way she'd rant about how much she fucking hated him, pacing around your room and calling him every name under the sun. and you'd sit there with eager curiosity, and ask her why she didn't end it then. if he makes you so angry, why stay?

and she'd get this faraway look in her eyes. kind of wistful. kind of sad. kind of happy.

"because he makes me feel fucking alive. hes like a - like a drug or something. i cant quit. its addictive, you know?"

that stuck with you. it still sticks with you. you remember being envious of that kind of passion. youe relationship with art had always been so easy. you dont think you'd ever fought by that point. you loved art. you felt safe with art. but were you addicted to him? if you broke up - would you feel withdrawal symptoms?

sometimes you layed awake at night and thought about starting a fight - breaking up for no reason. just to see if he'd fight for you back, if the missing of eachother would be so intense one of you would cave.

but somehow you knew that wouldn't be the case. thats just not how you and art operated. if you got angry, he wouldn't rise to meet you, he'd back down. if you ended things, he wouldn't chase you, he'd let you go.

patrick and tashi were fire and brimstone and you and art was ice and you were....... dirt. solid. walked upon. dependable and not at all exciting.

when art had proposed to you after college graduation it wasn't spur of the moment as it had been with patrick when he'd swept tashi up with a ring and a elopement to vegas. it was talked about and agreed upon and you knew it was coming.

you still said yes.

"you think," and arts voice has a barely concealed tremble to it that makes you look up, finally. you're shocked to see he looks wounded. so many of his expressions you can count on one hand - and this - this wasn't one of them. his eyes are dark, stormy. "you think i dont care about our marriage beyond what someone else has to say about it? you really think that?"

you hate the sliver of guilt you feel, because its not a crazy thing to feel.

"yeah, i really do."

because well, that's the truth of the matter isn't it? you and your husband stare at eachother. and it feels like you're looking at a stranger. not the man who's freckles you used to kiss. who's fears you knew. who's hands you know every callous of, every divot and fingerprint.

"it seems you two have very different views of how the other views this marriage." janet cuts in, sounding curious. she taps her pen against the open notepad on her lap. "art, would you like to chime in on why you wanted to come here? even at the suggestion of someone else?"

art stares at you for a long moment. his face is unreadable to you. his jaw works before his chest expands on an exhale and he looks away.

"i guess i - i just didn't realize how..... stagnant things had gotten until it was pointed out to me. harshly." he winces, and you wonder exactly what tashi had to say to him. you haven't talked to the other woman for some time. contact fizzling out after your marriage to art. he flicks a glance to you, then away again. "im not the best at being aware of shit going on around me." his hand comes up to rub nervously at his neck. "i guess you could say im good at brushing things under the rug. going through the motions. that sort of thing."

janet nods like this makes sense to her. well, great, you think. you know my husband more than i do.

"you're not a fan of confrontation, are you?"

art actually laughs. a genuine one. one that brings a dimple to his cheek and flashes his teeth. you stare at it, like its an exotic animal, and you wont see it again. quickly you catalog the expression in your memory, so you dont forget what he looks like when hes happy.

"yeah, no." he shakes his head. "but I think thats part of the problem. I've obviously let too much shit get put under the rug and now its so full other people are noticing."

you look down at your hands, lips pressed together. your face burns at the knowledge that tashi and by extension - patrick - know your marriage is in shambles. how embarrassing, to be caught lacking in such a momentous way. to come up short and have your husbands friends know about it. you wonder - does he talk about all the ways you make him miserable with them? does patrick shake his head, say, "she's sucking the life out of you, man." does tashi look at him with pity? like hes some poor abused cat that needs to be let in from the rain?

the rain of your marriage.

the rain of you.

you're the storm. you're the problem. you're not enough. art needs fire. you're not even dirt, you're glass. and you can feel yourself breaking.

"that clearly hit a nerve, my dear." janets voice is soft. soothing. she hands you a tissue and you realize you'd begun to cry. "do you want to explain what you're feeling about what art said?"

"i...."

you dab dab dab at your eyes. sniffle. look around the room, trying to collect your thoughts. they feel like flyaway dandelions. you dont know which of them to grasp.

a warm hand settles over yours in your lap and you startle. its arts hand. warm and calloused and tan, covering yours. the gold glint of his wedding ring winks at you, the engraved words etched into them, "my soft epilogue". a shortened version of your favorite qoute i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love.

at the time, that's what art was to you. your life before him hadn't been easy. being with art had felt like coming home from a long day and falling into a soft bed. it had felt like being able to land after weeks of being made to fly.

you turned your palm up, so he could slide his fingers between yours. he squeezed your hand.

"i think, i. i think i just think - I'm a failure." your bottom lip wobbles. you look at your enterwoven fingers and it makes you so sad that you haven't done the simple gesture of holding your husbands hand in months. "the two most important people in your life are. are so passionate and loud. and i see. i see how happy they make you - and i cant - i cant b-be that for you. we aren't - im not - you dont need me. im not a limb for you how they are. you could extract yourself from me and be. be happier."

your breath shudders out of you.

"you don't need me." you echo.

you wait for him to pull his hand away. this is more than you thought you'd share. some of it you weren't even aware of till the words were spilling from your lips. but they ring true.

without patrick and tashi art would drown. without you..... he'd float just fine.

"and that's important to you." janet says. a statement not a question. "you want to feel needed by art, and you feel as though you aren't. that his needs are met better with his friends than with you."

you nod slowly.

"baby." the word sends a shock through you. not the word itself but how its said. art calls you baby all the time, in a monotonous kind of way. routine. now he says it softly. with feeling. he lets go of your hand in favor of cupping your cheek, still damp with tears, turning your face to his. he looks pained. "of course i need you. i know i haven't been good at showing it. i just - you shut down - after we got married. you've been like a fucking ghost. like you dont want me to touch you. like i could dissappear for all you care and you'd just carry on. i don't know. but i need you, okay? i. need. you."

both hands cup your face, he makes you stare right into him. the conviction in his voice takes your breath away. theres a fire burning there you've thought long put out.

"obviously we have shit to sort out, and we will. but you've got to. you've got to know that. tashi only pushed me to do this because she how - how desperate i was. that's all."

you inhale deeply. exhale. swallow hard. tears cling to your lashes. you reach a hand up to clutch at one of arts wrists. eyes fluttering automatically when you do. you feel grounded again. less like you might float away.

"okay."

"yeah?"

"yeah...." and you smile. it trembles across your lips. but its there. "we'll sort our shit."

art lets out a relieved breath. kisses your forehead, lingering there. the gesture so tender you get emotional again. you want to crawl into his lap, have him wrap you in his arms. you want to feel held by him, like you used to.

"our time is up." janet sets her pen down. smiles. "but i think that was a wonderful first session. i can see the love between you hasn't faded, and that's more i can say for alot of couples who come to see me. keep your chin up."

[radiocrypt-id]

The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)

Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.

Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.

The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.

[jellyfishandry]

Shoji headcanons

Content: Fluff, some insecurity, gn reader, Shoji being great, it's sappy at the end, lmk if I should add anything else

A/N: I have no motivation or inspiration to write, so here's something I wrote a while ago. And Shoji needs more love so,

Honestly he has no idea what to do with himself. He’s been called many things, and “pretty” or “attractive” haven’t been any of them.  So when he sees you, he think he has so chance of dating you. Sure, he’s kind and considerate, but most people don't look past his appearance. And he certainly didn’t want to scare you. It was when you checked in him after a rough training session that he started to fall for you. You want out of your was to make sure he was okay. Your caring personality really drew him in. And the two of you quickly become friends.  He’s a good listener, and loves hearing you talk about things you’re passionate about.  And he never gets tired of hearing your voice. And he’s very respectful of your boundaries. He’s happy being your friend, and he’s perfectly fine with your relationship staying platonic, but sometimes he just wants to hug and cuddle with you. It’s unlikely that he’d confess, so you’d probably have to initiate the first step into a romantic relationship.  He still his his doubts though.  He think you should be with someone “more attractive.” But any time he brings it up, you’ve quick to assure him that you want him, and only him. You think he’s the prettiest boy you’ve met, and when you tell him that, he desperately wants to pull you into a hug. The first time he took off his mask in front of you, he was a little scared. But he’ll never forget the look of utter adoration on your face when you saw him. And when he’s around you he often feels better about himself. He likes being in the same room with you because then he can make sure you’re okay. And he notices you tend to do something similar, and it makes him a little red. Some of your classmates notice that he tends to talk to you with his regular mouth instead of on of his morph ones. Physical touch was something he was always careful about, and even more so when it’s affectionate or intimate.  It took him some time, but eventually he grew to really love it.  He loves when you kiss his hands, and he wont hesitate to do the same.  He also loves holding your hands. His hands are pretty big, so chances are that yours are smaller than his.  His skin is pretty rough from all the hero training, but he knows it’s not something that bothers you, so he doesn’t think about it too much.  Cuddling and hugging are one of his favorite things too.  He likes having you in his arms. He’s really warm, so if it’s cold it, it just makes it better.  Further into the relationship, he starts to love touching your face if you’re comfortable with it. Your gorgeous face in his hands.  His whole world in his hands.

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[redr0sewrites]

Demon Slayer With a S/o On Their Period Hcs

🥀A/n: guess whos on their period again i am literally dying !!!! :D anyways, hope yall enjoy!!!

🥀characters: giyuu x reader, tengen (+ wives) x reader, muzan x reader, mitsuri x reader

🥀Cw: hurt/comfort, period pain, mentions of blood, smut, period sex, overstimulation, overall filth in the nsfw part

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

Giyuu

listen, ur probably one of his first relationships so he doesn't have a lot of experience with periods

hes not good at expressing it, but giyuu really cares ab u and wants u to be comfortable

hes not used to seeing you in pain- he HATES it when ur not feeling good, so i think giyuu would honestly be really helpful when ur on ur period

he is very concerned about ur wellbeing, and will go with you on any missions (if ur a demon slayer). he will accompany u when he can and is almost always by ur side when ur on ur period

when ur emotional, he is literally the perfect person to vent to because he wont take it personally and is SUCH a good listener

acts of service‼️

if u need ANYTHING hes immediately there to help!

hes not good at verbally or physically expressing his feelings but he will help u, i feel like he would carry you around a lot

giyuu would set up a really pretty bath for u with bubbles and fancy soap and rose petals, and he would carry u to the bath where he would set u down and wash ur hair for u while u relaxed <3

he doesnt mind the blood and will gladly help u clean if u make a mess accidentally

overall, hes just super helpful and comforting when ur on ur period!

nsfw:

he LOVESS when u ride him, esp on ur period cuz he can see ur face!

i hc him as a switch, leaning on sub but also a pleasure dom, and when ur on ur period hes solely focused on making u feel as good as possible

consistently asks if ur comfortable or if u need to adjust, and can be gentler during period sex then usual

giyuu likes holding your hips during period sex and leaving hickeys on your thighs, making you tremble with need as his thumbs swirl slow circles on your skin

i feel like he wouldn't really care much about cleanliness and would just lay a towel under you, then at the end he would wash it for u

like i said before, he enjoys it when u ride him on his period bc watching u take control is SUCH a turn-on for him <3. plus, he knows that ur not uncomfortable and can see ur expressions very well!

giyuu could go really slow or really fast, depending on what u wanted. if ur in pain cuz of cramps, he'll go slow, gently pressing kisses to your beck and shoulders while slowly thrusting in and out

or he could be rough, pushing u down into missionary and grabbing your hips rough enough to bruise, lifting them up so your arching your back and pounding into you until ur seeing stars, all the while praising you and watching his cock slide in and out of ur soaking pussy

PRAISES U SM DURING PERIOD SEX! hes sm more vocal, and while he wont usually use petnames, during period sex u might hear baby or dear slip out as hes moaning your name i love giyuu sm

when it comes to aftercare, the two of u probably bathe together! if ur too tired, he'll carry you to the bath and wipe the blood from your thighs

giyuu has really good stamina like all the hashiras, and if ur hormones are making u extremely needy hes more than happy to spend hours with u in bed, making you cum again and again until ur thighs are shaking <3

Tengen

ur getting PAMPERED like ur living LUXURIOUSLY THIS MAN IS NOT LETTING U LIFT A FINGER

will throw u over his shoulder with a smirk on his face, placing you in bed with his other wives and doing everything for yall

makio, suma, and hinatsuru will probably sync up with you as well, and tengen will make sure to take care of all of his girlssss

THIS MAN HAS HUGE ASS HANDS AND GIVES OUTSTANDING MASSAGES I WOULD BET MONEY ON IT

he can make ur cramps go away almost instantly simply from how good his massages are

he gives good head massages too, and if ur having a headache from ur period he will sit u in his lap and gently massage ur head while he speaks sweet nothings to you and keels the lights low so you can relax

he would want you to be safe during your period, yet wouldn't discourage u from going on missions if ur a demon slayer. however, he would try to accompany u or have makio, suma, or hinatsuru accompany u just so ur safe

tengen would not hesitate to buy ANYTHING u four need, hes already got lots of supplies stocked up but will gladly run to a nearby store if ur craving anything

he will also buy u super expensive yet thoughtful gifts on ur period for no reason except he can- he just wants you to be comfortable!

i really dont think he can cook, but he will TRY for u!! in the end he would probably go buy whatever takeout u wanted but its the thought thhat counts!!!

tengen would DEF help u get ready on ur period if u needed too, for me personally i always take a little longer cuz i gotta change my pad and stuff so he'll be there to help! i think hes really good at doing his nails, and he'll do ur nails for u!! he'll dress you and help to wash your hair while you do your makeup, and will press kisses to any skin he sees <3

nsfw:

listen, if ur horny from hormones, he is AMAZING ab it

u even express that ur kinda needy? tengen is immediately taking u somewhere secluded and making you grind on his thigh

he can be kinda mean, but has such outstanding stamina and foreplay is everything to him!!!

tengen loves fingering u on ur period, he loves how messy ur blood gets on his hand and how responsive and sensitive you are-

DID I MENTION THIGH RIDING‼️ His thighs are huge, and perfect if u need him but dont want to make a mess. he'll settle u on his thigh, large, rough hands on your hips as he guides you to rock against him, and he'll start to move his knee until his leg is moving up and down and pressing so perfectly against your clit-

i feel like he would enjoy having all of you (u and his other wives) in his bed at once, and when one or multiple is on their period he will make u guys come sm-

if u try to silence ur moans cuz ur so sensitive, GOOD LUCK! tengen loves hearing you whimper, all you need to do is beg and he is willing to fuck you for HOURSS

i think he would like mating press when ur on ur period, simply cuz its just so stimulating for u and he can watch your blissed out expression as he overstimulates u!!!

LOVES MARKING U ON UR PERIOD, expect to have a ring of hickeys around ur neck and a multitude of bites on ur thighs<3

Muzan

do not expect sympathy at first cuz you are NOT gonna get it 💀

i feel like muzan would just side-eye you when you said you were in pain bc of cramps and honestly just ignore you

however

the second he sees you doubling over in pain, hes rushing to your side

whether your a demon or a human, you are one of the few people in the world he actually cares about and seeing you in pain is a big no-no for him!!

once you re-explain whats wrong, he scoops you up and brings you to a secure room within his palace

muzan will constantly have high rank demons watching over you if not himself, and he'll try to get his work and experiments done around you so he can keep an eye on you

im unsure whether or not his female form would have a period, but for the moment lets assume she does

she is PREPARED. if the two of you sync then she is most def gonna force all the other high rank demons to take care of u two, and if your craving anything she will order the demons around to get it for you (unless your also a demon, in which that case she would only let you eat the finest blood- hers!)

as i just said, if your a demon he is totally giving you his blood to help sustain you

only the best for his favorite<3

if your moody or being rude, he is actually much more tolerant when your on your period. muzan understands that sometimes you cant control it, and will try his best not to get irritated in response

muzan will feel sorry for doubting your feelings in the beginning, and will do his best to make it up for you! hes not great with expressing affection through words, but he'll try to compliment your strength and just wants to make sure your safe.

nsfw

EATS‼️ YOU‼️ OUT‼️

he will grip your hips tight enough to bruise, practically drowning in your cunt as he overstimulates you

i honestly think he would really enjoy your blood, but wouldnt want to take it from you in a way that would make it painful for you so he would especially enjoy eating you out simply to get a taste of your blood

muzans face is covered in your slick but he couldnt care less, bringing you to orgasm after orgasm. even when your squealing and whimpering, hes making you come again and again

he makes SURE to please you, especially when your hormonal

you want to ride him while hes working? hes already pulling you onto his lap. you want him to finger you while hes in an uppermoon meeting? say less, your sitting next to him acting like everything is normal while his fingers are knuckle deep in your cunt and soaked in your blood.

i think cleanliness would be somewhat important to him, so he would make sure to lay a towel beneath you when your both fucking and clean up super well afterwards

muzan would def praise you more on your period, he normally gives a mix of praise and degradation however when its your time of the month hes always telling you how good your doing, how well your taking him, and reminds you that your his <3

i think that he has a mUCH higher sex drive when your on your period, just smelling your blood turns him on and he would really enjoy seeing you covered in blood as well.

your hands are tied above your head, and muzan is fingering you, watching in utter fascination as your soaked cunt takes in his fingers again and again, slowly pulling his blood-soaked hand away to write his name in red across your stomach as you squirm, pleading for him too touch you again...

hes nasty af-

Mitsuri

When either of you are on your period, mitsuri is SUPPPEERRR clingy!

if your having cramps, she's practically dragging you to bed to cuddle with you

she gets sympathy pains for you and will sometimes get cramps along with you even when shes not on her period

will rub your back, massage your hips, she just wants to make sure you feel better!

mitsuri will take you to the hot springs with her and will just lay beside you and relax, letting the hot water soothe your cramps

if you get cravings, dont worry for a second because she WILL cook for you and the both of you will eat ridiculous amounts of food together!

honestly shes great at handling your emotions when your on your period because shes nearly impossible to get mad at and is really good at calming you down if needed! i feel like mitsuri would be a great person to vent too as well, so if your stressed on your period shes super soothing to talk to!

mitsuri would do yoga, stretch, and train with you to help ease cramps when your on your period but would always remind you not to push yourself!

she is constantly expressing her affections for you when your on your period and just wabts to make sure you feel happy and comfortable

nsfw:

praiiiseeee! mitsuri will kiss every part of your body, constantly complimenting all of you and occasionally leaving a little hickey or bruise

i think shes generally pretty vanilla and would make sure your comfortable above all else, however seeing you so hormonal and sensitive makes her incredibly aroused

mitsuri would definitely be into dry humping when your on your period, partially because of convenience but also because of how desperate it feels and how frustrated and needy you both get

mitsuri can and will tease you and then act innocent about it, and finds a bit of sick satisfaction in seeing how easily turned on you are when your on your period

for example, she'll let her shirt slip and flash you but only for a second, or let her hands wander as shes hugging you seemingly innocently

yall have def fucked in the hot springs simply because you couldn't take it anymore

the warm water only adds to the stimulation as she ruts against you, whimpering as tears form on her lash line as the both of you grind against eachother so desperately. her breasts rubb up against you as she buries her head into your neck, thighs trembling as her orgasm approaches and you cant help but play with her a little, harshly pinching her nipple and watching her squirm as you can feel your own release building, the dull ache from cramps being replaced by an onslaught of pleasure...

i dont think mitsuri would want to eat you out on your period and would prefer to finger you because she likes being able to see your face, especially since your so much more hormonal and expressive during period sex

sitting in her lap as she fingers you so skillfully, making you feel so, so good as she presses soft kissed across your collarbone and up to your flushed cheeks, telling you your suuuch a good girl...

if shes on her period and is sensitive as well, feel free to tease her too! she whimpers and whines so easily, and doesnt care whether or not your in public, she needs you now

leave her hot and bothered after a messy kiss, pressing against her and slipping your thigh between her legs to let her grind against it just a little as you palm her tits only to pull away and watch her pout as tears form in her eyes

i need a mitsuri in my life

put my heart and soul into this i NEED demon slayer requests i will get on my knees and BEG ive been getting so into this anime and i want to write for it sm!!! also feel free to send in any requests in general, overall i just want mooreeeee!

[tkaulitzlvr]

OUT OF LOVE - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: once tom realises how much your relationship has lost the love within it because of the distance he has put between you both, it’s his job to make it up to you.

content: angst to smut.

a/n: my first post!! i hope you all enjoy!

lately, tom and i's relationship has hit a bump in the road. each conversation lit an already short fuse within the both of us, the smallest of words capable of creating an unnecessary yet very real dispute that would leave us silent for hours, and in the worst of cases not talking for days. but it wasn't just the things we said, it was whatever we didn't say, too. physical touch was usually a huge part of our relationship, but now, i couldn't remember the last time that i had properly kissed him. it had gotten to the point where we slept on different sides of the bed, refusing to lay in eachother's embrace as we usually would.

as each day dragged on, feeling like tom and i were moving further away from eachother, i failed to even remember how we ended up this way in the first place. we had a perfect relationship, filled with love and trust, those the foundation of what made us, us. everyone knew that we loved eachother, we were the 'it couple'. whilst we had small disputes just as every couple did, it had never reached this point - yet it showed no sign of stopping.

which is why it brought me no surprise that tom had already become irritated from my single question, asking him where he'd been after returning home late yet again, this becoming a habitual occurrence since the beginning of whatever our distance could be called.

"look, i was just out, okay? what is this a fucking interrogation?" tom fires out, frustration laced in his tone as he throws his keys on the table.

"im sorry for worrying about my boyfriend! i just wont give a shit next time, yeah?" i shoot back, confused on why he acts this way every time i start a simple conversation.

"yeah that'd be great, thanks." he mumbles sarcastically, scoffing and sinking into the sofa, flicking through the channels on the tv displayed infront of him.

"are you fucking kidding me tom?" i utter out, in complete disbelief of his childishness.

despite the clear anger in my voice, he stays silent, shaking his head slightly and continuing to look through the channels on the tv, this only fuelling my anger.

"can you listen to me for fucks sake?" my voice begins to raise as my patience is slowly wearing thin. i walk over to the tv, blocking his view and forcing him to look up at me, his eyes cold, an unrecognisable glare within them in place of the usual love that emits from them whenever our gazes meet. 

"what?" he sighs, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and pointer finger.

"i'd appreciate it if you fucking listened to me, just for one second! i'm tired of sitting here alone, every night, wondering where the fuck you are because you're my boyfriend but i know nothing about you! i never get a text, a call, nothing! instead you come home at god knows what time, and act as if i don't exist. fuck tom, you won't even cuddle me in bed anymore." my voice begins to trail off, tears beginning to cloud my vision, my tongue instinctively hitting the roof of my mouth to stop them from falling.

he stays silent, breaking his eyes away from mine and staring into his lap, his fingers playing with the material of his jeans.

"do you even love me anymore?" i ask, genuinely questioning if he feels the same way he did when we first met, the man that fell in love with me no longer in front of me.

"what? of course i fucking love you. what kind of question is that?" his head shoots upwards, his eyebrows threading together as if i have asked the most ridiculous question, though it was one nagging on my mind.

"really? it doesn't seem like it." i reply, shaking my head and biting my lip, the tears now spilling beyond my control.

"i'm going to bed." i mumble, not waiting for a response from tom as i head for our shared bedroom. the sheets feel cold as i allow them to envelop me, the warmth that i would feel from tom's embrace lost, leaving me empty. it is impossible to fall asleep, my body laid on its side facing away from the door and staring motionless at the wall, longing to be in his arms, safe and content, free of the gut-wrenching realisation that our relationship is not the same as it was.

the door slowly creaks open after a while, my eyes quickly flicking shut as i pretend to be asleep, not keen on the idea of speaking to tom, not whilst his mind is acting so irrationally, mine sensitive enough that any argument would break down my already crumbling walls. i hear the bed dip beside me, tom laying flat on his back, whilst i stay put, not daring to look at him, instead keeping my back to him. the distance between us speaks volumes, tension reaching an all time high.

after a few minutes, the bed creaks, indicating that tom is moving from his initial position. as he has done for the past nights, i expect him to shuffle to the edge of the bed, increasing our already far proximity and confirming the fact that he cannot bare the thought of being near me.

however, much to my disbelief, i feel an arm droop around my waist from behind, tom's hand gently touching my stomach as he tests the waters, clearly thinking that i am deep in sleep. deciding to stay still, my eyes remain closed, accepting this small act of affection, for it is all i have experienced in the past weeks. but, to my surprise, he doesn't stop there.

he moves closer, his chest now flush against my back, pulling me tighter into him as i feel his uncertain breathing against the nape of my neck. my breath instinctively hitches at his unexpected actions, alerting him of my consciousness.

"baby?" he whispers into the dark room, not moving as he awaits my response.

"hm?" i mutter, unsure of what to say, not intending to reveal the fact that i was in fact awake, my cover completely blown as i lay, small and vulnerable, beside him, his body against me for the first time in forever. the uncertainty of what his response will be creates a sickly feeling in my chest. he could want to fight, to let out the last of his anger from our unfinished argument. or, he could want to fix things, to be the boyfriend he used to be. and right now, my mind was going with the first option, assuming the worst and bracing myself for more of his harsh words.

"we need to talk." he speaks, his breath fanning against my neck with each word.

i knew that he was right, my heart aching slightly as the possibility of resolving whatever the fuck we have become finally starts to feel real, not just something that i have longed for.

refusing to face him, i slowly nod my head, awaiting his response, the sound of our steady breathing the only thing to be heard in the silent room.

"i'm so sorry baby." he speaks, slowly and sincerely, his hand that is draped over my stomach beginning to slowly caress the bare skin there, comforting me in the best way. tears begin to silently roll down my cheeks as i struggle to find the right words to say.

he takes my silence as a chance to continue. "what happened to us my love, hm?" he begins, sighing slowly and increasing his hold on me, the pet name causing my heart to swell, making me realise how much i truly missed his affection, wether it be verbal or physical - i just craved him.

short sniffles emit from my mouth, giving away my weakness faster than i would have preferred. tom quickly picks up on this, finally turning me to face him, our eyes meeting, his immediately softening once he takes in my state - eyes bloodshot, tears staining my cheeks, mouth curved into a frown.

"oh baby..." he trails off, taking his hand and beginning to wipe my tears away one by one, the other gently stroking my hair. i melt into his touch, allowing him to comfort me silently. "i can't carry on like this, i just- i need to be with you again, not just in a relationship with you, i want to actually feel close to you again."

he pours his heart out, all whilst wiping any loose tears that fell from my eyes, which never left his, the love in them beginning to flood back as i can slowly recognise the man i fell in love with.

"do you really think that i don't love you anymore?" he asks, guilt evident in his tone as he feels nothing but anger for making me doubt how he felt about me.

i try to find the right words, swallowing nervously. "you didn't want to be anywhere near me tom. i can't even remember the last time you told me that you loved me." uttering those words made me realise how bad things had really gotten. tom would tell me he loved me at every chance he got, never failing to remind me of how he felt. but looking back, those three words felt so foreign that my mind couldn't even remember when he had last uttered them. and the realisation hit him just as hard as it did me.

"oh meine liebe...i'm so sorry." he starts, now slowly kissing away each tear that stained my tinted cheeks, holding my face gently in his hands. "i love you. i love you so so much. never ever forget that, okay?"

i nod my head, swallowing the lump in my throat away. "i love you too."

a slight smile appears on his face, my hand reaching to his head as i pull it closer, playing with the loose braids there. tom takes advantage of our nearing proximity, grabbing my face and gently connecting his lips with mine. for the first time in days, our lips touched, immediately moulding together as if they had never been apart. he smiles into the kiss, moving his hands to my lower back, pulling me closer to him and embracing me, our lips never parting. the desire, the passion in which our lips collided reaffirming our love without the need for words, my body and soul slips further into his touch, reminding me just how much i missed intimate moments like this with him.

he slowly pulls away for air, his lips, now pink and swollen, flush against mine, foreheads touching. "i promise baby, that i'll never give up on us, no matter how hard it gets. i'll never stop loving you, ever."

deciding that actions speak louder than words, i reconnect our lips once more, with much more desire and hunger than the previous one. he picks up on this need, reciprocating it and pressing his lips so hard onto mine that my breathing becomes muffled and there is no option of pulling away - but in this moment, parting from him doesn't even cross my mind. his hand moves to my thigh, placing it over his and kneading the flesh roughly as we lay facing each other, a small whimper escaping my mouth at his actions. our lips fail to part, making up for the lost kisses that we had so desperately yearned for.

lust soon takes over the innocence, my need for him growing by the second as our kisses become harsher, his tongue entering my mouth, mine gladly reciprocating. "i love you." he whispers breathlessly against my lips, pulling away slowly and studying my face. his thumb tugs at my lip, his eyes never leaving mine as he drags it down the now plump skin at an agonisingly slow pace, until he releases my bottom lip, it quickly bouncing back into place, his thumb now slightly wet with my saliva.

"you're so beautiful." he whispers, caressing my cheeks, taking in every inch of me as if this is the first time he has seen me.

"i need you tom." i mutter, looking into his eyes with a glint of desperation, longing to feel him again, our distance meaning it has been so long since we have kissed like we just did, let alone fuck.

within seconds, his lips are back on mine, his body moving in one swift motion on top of me without breaking the kiss, hands clutching mine, mirroring the hunger i feel.

"then i'm all yours." he mutters against my lips, reattaching them and entering his tongue as i gladly accept, moaning slightly into the kiss, a small smirk appearing on his lips in response.

he pulls away, looking into my eyes before reaching for the hem of my t-shirt and whispering "can i?"

i slowly nod my head, the soft fabric being pulled off my body and somewhere on the floor, both tom and i too needy to care where. his eyes scan my body, a hint of adoration within his eyes, his hands reaching for my small lace bra, undoing the back and tossing it aside. he pauses, gazing down at me, drinking in my features, everything exposed to him. despite the look of awe on his face, insecurity takes over, and my hands instinctively cover my breasts, breaking eye contact from him.

tom quickly takes his hands, placing them over mine and moving them away so that he could see me once again. "don't cover yourself, you're so beautiful."

i hesitantly nod my head, moving to remove tom's shirt, his chiselled abs and torso now on display. refusing to break eye contact, my hand slowly runs down the skin, feeling every bump, every muscle there, his breathing hitching as i do so. it has been so long since i had felt his bare skin against mine that it almost didn't feel real, my being lost in pleasure despite us not taking anything further yet.

i soon become impatient, pulling his face downwards and kissing him once more, his hands reaching for my panties and slowly pulling them down, soon removing his boxers, leaving us completely naked.

he pulls away, staring into my eyes and positioning himself at my entrance. "are you sure my love?" he asks, searching my expression for any sense of doubt, hating the idea of forcing me to do anything.

"yes...just fuck me, please." i breathe out, craving the feeling i have missed so much.

he smiles slightly, before slowly sliding in, groaning as he does so, my walls clenching around him, not used to his size as it has been so long since we have last done this. once he is fully inside, he stops. "you okay baby? does it hurt?"

"no...move tom." i reply, and he slowly begins thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace, whines emitting from my mouth as my eyes squeeze shut. his head finds the crook of my neck, groaning into it and beginning to kiss the skin, sucking lightly and leaving marks whilst speeding up his pace.

"oh my god." he mutters into the skin, his hands running up and down my waist until they find a stable hold on my hips, thrusting easier whilst his thumbs caress me, slightly digging in, however the slight pain only fuels my fire, moans now escaping from my mouth.

"oh tom..." i trail off, hands raking down his back, pulling him downwards so our bodies our flush against each other, desperate to feel any part of him, to be closer, despite him literally being inside me.

"i love you so much." he groans out, taking my legs and wrapping them around his waist.

he continues to thrust in and out of me, his tip hitting my g-spot, and i cry out. "oh god, right there tom..."

"here baby?" he taunts, hitting the spot again, causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. he abuses that spot, my stomach beginning to tighten as the familiar feeling soon takes over.

i clench around him, feeling my release creep closer and closer. "fuck schatz, do that again." he breathes out, and i tighten my walls again, a choked moan escaping his mouth.

"i'm close." he manages to let out, speeding up his pace and capturing my lips into a kiss, moaning into my mouth. i struggle to kiss back, holding back sounds of pleasure each time he thrusts in and out, the sound of my heavy breathing muffled in the kiss.

"tom...i'm gonna, oh my god!" i cry out against his lips, feeling my release wash over me, eyes rolling to the back of my head as i swear i see stars.

"oh fuckkk..." tom drags out, throwing his head back, jaw slack as he follows, my release triggering his own, the feeling of his cum coating my walls emitting another small whine from my mouth.

he moves slowly, thrusting in and out whilst he rides out our highs before collapsing on top of me, sweat coating his forehead. his head rests in my neck, breathing uneven and heavy, planting gentle kisses on the bare skin. i struggle to catch my own breath, my fingers running through his hair, body trembling as the adrenaline slowly wears off.

"i love you so much my love. i'm sorry for everything, i promise i'll never treat you like that again." he says, planting a single kiss on my shoulder.

"i love you too." i reply, tom lifting his head upwards and meeting my lips in a soft kiss, pulling away and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, placing the covers over the both of us as i snuggle closer, resting my head on his bare chest as he slowly strokes my hair, falling asleep in each other's embrace.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[lovebvni]

" ITS BRUTAL OUT HERE " - pick a pile

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│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

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[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 14.8.22

[  ] published ⋮  14.8.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hey loves, so because i 1, got new tarot decks, and 2 want to call you guys out, im doing this. also - heads up before i even start - spirit said there's gonna be a pile where there are little/no callouts bc they're actually doing great. just some advice/motivation to keep them going

Hello! Welcome to a pick a pile. This is a general reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Hundreds of people may read this, everything I say in your pile(s) may NOT resonate. Today we don't have questions. we're just going callouts. so prepare yourself, i know some of yall are soft.

along with these questions i will give things that may draw you to your pile. the alice in wonderland tarot has different cards but pretty much the same meaning. dont be shocked if instead of the hanged man i say suspention or something like that. i will be using tarot and oracle cards.

now please take everything with a grain of salt!

breathe in, now out, now pick a pile or two.

pile 1 ; pile 2 ; pile 3

hi pile 1!

confirmation for your pile: lowkey funny, life 'falling apart', consequences for your actions, business man/woman, equality, cycles, bakugou, passion, 'im always right, i know what im saying'

oracle: you are good enough - full moon in virgo

tarot: the hierophant, temptation, 7 of flowers, 5 of spears reversed, 9 of flowers

alright bros, the first thing i have to say is 1, you're not always the cause. bad things happen to good people and i know it sucks but it helps you grow. if only good things happened then you'd probably be boring as hell. i hear some of you guys can be because you cant keep a conversation going. the thing is, you may be a victim MOST OF THE TIME but that doesnt mean ALL THE TIME!! you can be wrong in an argument, you can be right in an argument. but it changes. you're a very driven, smart, confident person in most areas but that doesnt mean because you're the right person to be a firefighter but not a baker. 7 of flowers is saying dont back down from the things you KNOW you are right in, but when someone makes a valid point. take it, it can help you. being passionate is a good thing, but dont be ignorant.

temptation is something thats drawing you in, that one day will be negative. maybe its joining the football team but you'll get a serious injury. do not let anyone or anything tempt you that has high risks for pain in the long run. im not saying dont join that football team, but dont put yourself into situations that wont benifit you in the long run. there's a good and bad to everything. do not fall into or back into negative energies/things that didnt help you before. they sure as hell wont help you now

ngl i have no idea what this pile means during the second part

pile 2

alright so confirmation: tired, faking happiness, evolution, "PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAY", hawks, manifestation, abuse, Christmas, MHA, movies, memories, nsfw content, love desire, caring heart, makeup, procrastination, seven deadly sins

oracle: a time for healing - balsamic moon, expect powerful chance - new moon eclipse

tarot: 10 of spears, 7 of flowers, 3 of hedgehogs

so this is the pile whos done mostly nothing wrong. when i say mostly, i mean bc everyones made at least one mistake in their life. ofc theres still a callout. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! STOP BELITTLING YOUR PAIN, YOUR TRAUMA, THE THINGS THAT HURT YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EVERY SINGLE DAY!! let go of the past, its gone. its ending. get over it. that friend isnt coming back, they weren't right for you. let go of the past, accept it, and move forward. thats just some advice.

pile 3

hey pile 3

confirmation: false/negative manifestations, intrusive thoughts, self destructive behavior, gay, peaches (that one song omg), yung gravy, emotions, love, communication or lack of communication, birthdays, parties, celebrations

oracle: believe in the impossible - blue moon

tarot: 2 of cups, 4 of flowers, knight of teacups reversed

okay i got flowers in every pile, anyways this piles energy is of a pair.. two people or two piles? maybe you picked another pile. but its a harmonious pair. you guys may be for a long time, maybe shifting together, maybe you work on a lot of projects together? i heard you guys dont talk much but when you do its fun. you guys are a great pair. hold on to each other. i feel like once this pile overcomes toxic/negative behaviors they will shift. it depends on how fast you get rid of them/start manifesting positively.

change the way you see things, the emotions and reactions you have to things that happen. if you wake up in your cr and not your dr say something like "bro what?? why am i in my cr? thats odd, hasnt been like this before." see everything that happens in a different light. if you think that you saw something that was a sign btw, it was. take it and use it how you think its fit. use your talents, you know you can! practice the fun things you want to do one day. practive makes perfect!! get off your ass and do something. vent through an art form. you dont have to use words. you're doing nothing right now. you NEED to do something, but take a break from stressing yourself. its not helping anything

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞zb1 as love languages

✰ pairings : ot9! zb1 × fem!reader

✰ genre : romance + fluff

✰ warnings : none! yujin's love language is shown a bit more platonically.

✰ word count : 1.9k words 😵‍💫 guess who got carried away so fast?

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ jiwoong ⸺ physical touch

jiwoong's love language is touch. i literally cannot have it any other way.

my man won't hesitate before wrapping his arms around you everytime he returns home. he'll probably keep you in his embrace for a few minutes before pulling away.

he's the saddest when he has to leave for work 🥺 poor baby won't get to see you for hoursss!

during your movie nights he will definitely pull you close to him, lean his head on yours and will half-heartedly watch the movie with a shy smile when he feels you press a kiss to his jaw.

whenever you two go out he's gonna hold your hand and never let it go. He'll even absentmindedly trace patterns against your thumb or index finger.

if you're feeling down, worry not jiwoong the cuddly bear is present. he'll cuddle you and pepper your face with kisses just to see you giggle. he's so precious i can't

in the morning this pouty baby wont let go of you! gets super cute if you don't give him his daily dose of morning kisses.

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤzhanghao ⸺ acts of service

hao isn't very keen on showing pda. he prefers to keep it private and intimate only when you both are alone.

he would probably feel disheartened when he feels like he isn't being sincere (even though he tries his best)

hao is a quite and a pretty observant person, so when he sees you struggling to tie your shoe laces with the various things in your hand he'll jump in to help! will have the biggest smile for the rest of the day!

he proves his sincerity through minor or major gestures

he will swap places with you when you walk on the road just so it assures him that you're safe

when you're tired he'll make your favorite and silently leave the room to let you have some personal space

though hao doesn't like watching horror he'll definitely watch it for you! he just wants to see you smile and would hate to be the reason you're sad!

since you two live together, you have divided chores. but hao often ends up doing some of your chores as well so you get more time to relax

whenever you both get into an arguement he's always the first one to say sorry regardless of who's fault it was

it's things like these when you can't help but fall for him deeper. zhanghao is a man who'll do his best to keep his loved ones safe and happy <3

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤhanbin ⸺ short notes

hanbin is the type of partner who will leave you little notes pretty much where ever you go!

you have a test? not to worry! bf hanbin will send you some chocolates along with a little note that wishes you the best of luck and a reminder to not overwork yourself!

whenever he misses you he'll sneak in a note and magnet it on your fridge just so you could see it

hanbin feels like he expresses himselves better in letters than spoken words, so during any misunderstandings he'll be sure to write down his pov, say sorry, and tell you that he loves you no matter what! where can I get him?

he just has to find an excuse to send you notes! your memory box with him would probably be filled endless notes and you couldn't have it any other way!

hanbin hates seeing you sad! so everytime he sees a frown followed by tears he'll stay beside you and try to distract you by writing funny stuff! he's become an expert at it by now.

he constantly reminds you that you're so pretty and that he is so thankful to have you

his friends always tease him especially gyuvin and jiwoong whenever they see him pulling out his sharpie from his pocket! by this they know he's gonna write a note to you for the nth time, but you don't mind it ofc! you love him and his habit so much that you always hope it never changes ❤️‍🩹

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤMatthew ⸺ massages and words of affirmations

matthew has been your comfort place for as long as you can remember. he's seen you at your most vulnerable and has never once left your side in that state.

he kisses your forehead and tells you that he's proud of you.

he gives you belly rubs when you experience severe cramps and will not hesitate to reassure you that you're not a burden to him

matthew always has a way with words. he knows the right words during the right time which never fails to surprise you. without him and his lovely words your heart would have been broken too many times

mathew always gives you a foot massages saying it helps stimulate blood flow and whispers soft praises to you while doing so i claim this

before you go to sleep he'll most probably hum the lyrics to your favorite song and end it with saying lots of i love you's and words you never knew you might need so bad

that one weekend when he went out with his friends you could feel how much his words have affected. you no longer think of negative things and find yourself smiling more often

matthew is the best boy. he won't hesitate to massage your shoulders while telling you cheesy pickup lines which you act like you hate, but deep inside it makes your brain go fuzzy.

he'll flirt a lot to help you feel happier and to let you know that you're the only one he does this all to.

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤtaerae ⸺ quality time

for him, spending time with each other matters the most.

it doesn't matter if you're sick! He'll stay by your side till he sees you get better with his OWN eyes because he knows you worry too much. in the end, he too will end up getting sick from trying to "keep you warm" as he says.

that one time when you had to cancel a date because of an up-coming test broke his heart ): baby was so excited to tell you everything about his day and what he planned for the day. after that day, you made a mental note to never cancel any of the dates! as you should

apart from this he'll always send you pictures of what reminded him of you. mind you they are the most random things like a scrunchie, a cat hissing at someone, or even the sky. 'cause it's pretty just like you.

he'll also send you memes and tons of videos which let you know that he thinks about you 24/7!!

taerae prefers to watch romance movies with you because he just loves the way you tell your point of view. The way your eyes shine or the way you hold his hand tighter during a tense moment makes him feel at ease. he loves to view things from your point of view!

he's grown so accustomed of you that he can recognize you just by your footsteps 😍😍

he even signed the two of you for yoga and painting classes just so you both could spend some extra time!

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤricky ⸺ giving gifts

being in a relationship for the first time had the guy panic to death. he acted awkward or abnormally quiet with you at the start

his search history is filled up with "what should I gift my partner for the first time?"

boy took internet too seriously and gave you gifts almost everyday!

some of the gifts were handmade as well like a small photo album of the two of you or just handing you random roses throughout the day

what first started as a research to keep you happy and ensure you would like him (no matter what you do) turned into a habit. if he misses giving you a gift even for a day he's gonna go all sad and apologize multiple times even though you don't mind.

he is seriously whipped. there are no other words to describe him.

when he falls in love he gives his best. in fact, he gives his best at everything. he lets you know your importance in his life through these small gifts

ricky is no doubt a creative genius from all the ideas he brainstorms just to come up with a great gift that you would

he has your food orders mentally noted and will often send it to you if he sees you too tired or if you crave for it

he creates a spotify playlist every year for your birthday with songs that remind him of you!

during your arcade dates he gives you ALL the gifts he wins! he loves seeing how you smile at him before hugging him tightly. he feels like he won in life after every hug.

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤgyuvin ⸺ physical touch + harmless teasing

another touchy boy right here. won't hesitate to hug you death or squish your cheeks

loves to bully (tease) you! will act smug about his height everytime you ask him to get something that is out of your reach

he'll even tease you if you don't know a meme that he shows you

but the moment he sees you get sad he'll hug you tightly and pat your back mumbling sorry for like a million times!

he loves holding your hand and presses kisses on it just to hear your giggle

he'll end up teasing you again if he finds out you like cheesy things. BUT, mark my words he's gonna make a mental note of it and try something cheesy just for you

if he sees you eat messily he'll make disappointed noises. not even a minute later he'll use a tissue and wipe your mouth for you

he loves braiding your hair for no reason! although the braids might seem uneven and messy you love it!

hair dries your hair for you saying it's fun and later teasing you how you're such a softie.

look at the irony.

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤgunwook ⸺ writing poems + having deep convos

while gunwook might seem like the type to goof around a lot I feel like he might often get into deep convos with you. he feels good to know that you enjoy these convos rather than finding them boring.

he shares all his true feelings with you and even takes few advices from you

every little gesture of his holds a deep meaning

even his poems are so meaningful

he writes on different topics but somehow ends up correlating all of them to you!

your deep convos are either when you go on night walks and sit in front of river under the moon or on voice calls.

his voice is very calm and soft when he speaks. his thoughts– they flow endlessly and you often wonder how many things does he have bottled up

💐᭄⠀ׅ⃑ ㅤyujin ⸺ playing games together

yujin loves playing games whether it be online or in the parks

he loves being competitive and winning ALL the games

but the moment he sees you frown or get sad he'll purposely lose the game just to let you win and see that smug grin on your face

you both have a weird and a very platonic way of expressing feelings

you're sad? don't worry! yujin got the latest games on xbox just for you both to play all night long!

other than games you both help each other in homework which often ends up in a debate on who's answers are right

yujin might not physically show how much he cares for you but he will keep in mind your favorites, your problems, and he'll listen to you calmly

there's a problem at school? worry not! yujin has been taught by his members to be confident in himself and stand up for others!

yujin is a shy shy boi ><

you both go to the same school so he has a habit of picking you up from your place and then the two of you cycle race to the school grounds

poor cycle gets abandoned anywhere

he has a habit of buying you two bottles of strawberry milk since he knows you love it so much! must protect him, so precious

thank you so much for reading up till here! I hope you liked it : )

[amor-brooklynn]

im kind of bored and i miss you guys so here are some hcs :)

[cw: all fluff and cute stuffs, jus mainly what it would be like to date some of the dsmp boys]

edit: I removed dream due to the true allegations against him.

george &lt;3-

•likes to tease and mess with you a lot

•lots and lots of play fighting

•george is a tired person most of the time, but wont hesitate to play games with you late at night

•he likes to cook breakfast and dinner with you rather than just you cooking by yourself

•type of guy to come up behind you and hug you without saying anything,

“ah- jeez, george you scared me,” you would huff at him “do you need something?”

He would just groan, and nuzzle his face into your neck.

•stays like that for a while, and refuses to let you walk away until hes done hugging you

•george is an awkward person and doesnt know how to show love very well

•however, he likes to buy you small things like flowers or chocolates on occasion.

•likes to hold your hand a lot (idk i just feel like that would be something he would do)

•its almost impossible for you to annoy him

•if you tried to by being obnoxious or just messing with him a lot, he would just roll his eyes with a smug smile on his face, amused at your poor attempts to annoy him

•late night walks with you>>

•isnt the type of person to really tell someone off if theyre flirting with you or looking at you wrong, instead he’ll glare at them from afar (his glare is mean, trust me) he doesnt wanna seem like a jealous boyfriend even though he really is

•or… he’ll just take you away without a word.

•gets attached easily and is always by your side unless hes streaming or out doing something

•basically just a really caring boyfriend and loves you so much to the point it pretty eats him from the inside out

•you’re constantly on his mind <3

sapnap &lt;;3-

•hyper boyfriend

•always telling you how pretty you are 24/7

•adores your laugh and loves to hear it

•i feel like sapnap has low confidence when it comes to relationships so he needs to be reassured sometimes

•now, in some situations he really is big and tough, but in other situations he’s the biggest baby on earth (in a good way ofc)

•his favorite thing is just to be acknowledged by you. As long as you know he’s there and exists, hes pretty much okay

•he has a lot of trouble talking to you about his problems

•you would be a little housewife and he adores that

• “BABY! I love you!!” Out of no where.

•the most giggly boyfriend EVER.

•gets so flustered easily, even when you do the smallest things like give him a kiss on the cheek

•he likes to take showers with you and talk about his day while washing your hair

•will put you on his lap while hes gaming and wont let you get up until hes done with his game,

“babe, i need to cook dinner, let me up.”

“noooooo, just a little longer? Please?” he would beg, and you would end up giving in.

“fine, 10 more minutes and then you gotta let me up!”

“20 minutes.”

sigh

•CLINGY!

•wants to know where you’re going if you’re getting ready to leave somewhere, and wants you to bring him along (or vice versa, he’ll take you everywhere with him)

•now sapnap is definitely more of a speaker when it comes to dudes touching or flirting with you,

Literally will walk up beside you and pull you closer to him by the waist,

“hey dickhead, why don’t you find someone else’s girlfriend to hit on?”

•if it gets to the point where the guy who was flirting with you just wont back off or is being snarky to sap, it might get physical.

•then asks you a lot of questions,

“are you okay? What was he saying to you? Did he touch you at all?”

“sap… im fine! Calm down, love.”

•chaotic troublemaker

•if its a snowy day, he will sneak up behind you and probably stuff snow down your shirt

•snowball fights (he would go easy on you and let you win)

•literally so thoughtful, hes always asking you if you need or want anything when hes going out to the store

•even if you say no hes gonna come back with your favorite candy or flowers

•lots of cuddles and movie nights

•competitive bf, and DEFINITELY will destroy you in Valorant (goes easy on you for your first few games)

•the silent rager

•if you actually keep beating him he will get a bit frustrated and just sit there with a straight face in silence (when really hes yelling in his head)

•admires you a lot. Like, a lot a lot. <3

(i know sapnaps was long i just love him sm)

—

I know this only included the dteam but if i feel up to it i’ll make another one inluding karl, punz, and/or quackity

just a reminder that i miss you guys a lot, and i hope you all had an amazing christmas and happy new year. <3

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

Your Person

Bobby Goren X neurodivergent F!reader

Summary: Bobby has spent most if his life feeling like he didn't belong, that it wasn't possible for him to connect with someone the way everyone else does, that is until me meets you, his person.

Warnings: Cannon level violence and language. So much fluff, love and acceptance. mentions of Panic, anxiety and death/dying. Minimal use of Y/N. Very little physical description of reader

Authors note: This is story was a labor of love and my love letter to Bobby Goren and the way Vincent D'Onofrio played him. I've never connected with or seen myself represented in a character the way I do with Bobby Goren. I dont think you need to of seen Law and Order: Criminal Intent to enjoy this story.

The midsummer sun shinned down on Bobby’s face as he walked to the coffee shop. The sun feels similar to warmth that spreads throughout his chest whenever he sees you. The smile you always give him. God that smile. It’s different than the smile you give everyone else around you.

He can’t help but smile thinking about the day you met. How flustered and embarrassed you were when you’d run into him causing his coffee to spill everywhere. How he felt something tug In his chest when your big hazel eyes looked into his when you realized it spilled on him. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and tell you it was ok when it was clear you were prepared to be yelled at.

Bobby knew the moment he started falling for you. He tried to fight it at first because it scared the shit out of him. Pretty much resigning to the fact that he’d always be alone. His job was demanding, which was hard for a lot people to deal with. So he had stopped entraining anything that wasn’t serious. He wanted someone to share a life with, someone that would accept him, quarks and all. So he didn’t want to waste what little free time he had with someone who only wanted sex.

As he dips into the cafe the cashier greets him with a tired smile.

“Welcome in, just to let you know we close in 10 minutes”

“No problem, I’ll have a large coffee cream and sugar”

“Oh, Ah is (y/n) in today?”

“Umm I’m going to grab the owner” she replies eyeing him suspiciously.

Bobby doesn’t blame her, she doesn’t know him, he hasn’t been in, in about a month. She’s doing the safe thing by getting someone.

“Hey, theres this guy out front that I’ve never seen before asking for Y/N”

“Ok, I’ll go up and check it out. Why don’t you start your end of day tasks”

Stacey makes her way to the front to see who’s asking for you. She’s very happy to see it’s Bobby, the one person you’ve really taking a liking too since he started coming in.

“Hey Bobby, sorry about that”

“It’s no problem, I know she was just being safe, doing the right thing”

“She’s here, back in her usual spot doing some ordering on her laptop” Stacey says as she hands him his coffee.

“I wont stay long, I know your trying to close up”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want. She’ll be really happy to see you, but you didn’t hear that from me” Stacey chuckles.

She’ll be happy to see me?

Bobby is rounding the corner into the seating area at the exact moment you happen to look up from your laptop.

The way you light up sends a sea of warmth crashing against his chest. He waves awkwardly and you return the wave.

“Hi” he say unable to contain the smile dancing across his face.

“Bobby! Hi. You’re alright?” The smile creeps across your face.

“What do you mean I’m alright?” He asks tilting his head to the side to watch your expression as he sits.

Fuck. You can feel your skin heating up as you pull your eyes down too your laptop.

He realizes by your reaction that he sounded accusatory when he didn’t mean too.

“I didn’t mean for that to sound that way”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just been a while since I’d seen you in…uh not that I expect you to come in. I know you’re busy. I um just was worried when it had been a while.” At this point youre face is on fire, you’re making an absolute fool of yourself with your word vomit.

She worries about me

“We’ve had several intense cases back to back. We pretty much were working around the clock. Only went home to sleep. Not that I was really sleeping either.” He says studying you intently, trying desperately to figure out if you feel the palpable connection that’s between the two of you.

“I wish I’d know, I would have brought some stuff from the cafe down for you and your partner.”

“That’s really very sweet of you”

“It’s not like you come in everyday, but regularly enough that I just thought something might of happened to you in the line of duty” you say without thinking, almost like you’d forgotten you were talking to him.

Bobby tilts his head trying to look at your face.

“You really were worried about me. I didn’t mean to worry you”

The realization crashing down on you like a brick. Fuck. I really said that out loud.

“I ah. Man I’m saying a lot of things. I’m sorry I’m trying not to be weird. Didn’t really mean to say that out loud” you say dragging your hands down your face as you pull your eyes up to find him already looking at you.

His deep brown eyes are soft, his smile kind as he watches you.

“No it’s not like that. It’s nice to know someone’s worried about me.”

“I’m sure lots of people are worried about you, you’re pretty awesome.”

OH MY GOD. I need to stop talking. What the hell am I doing. This man is not interested in my flattery. Where is literally anyone to cut into this conversation to save me from myself.

Just then as if you materialized her yourself you notice Stacey over Bobby’s shoulder coming towards the two of you.

“Did our girl over here tell you she’s testing out some new recipes for the bakery case? And that she’s knocking it out of park?”

“No she didn’t, she must of forgotten to tell me how much of a badass she is.”

Your face is beat read at that point, meanwhile the both of them are smiling ear to ear talking about you.

“Yea she’s like that, she’s too modest really. I tell her all the time she needs to brag about her pastries more often”

“Man you two are quiet the pair today” you laugh

“Besides, why brag about myself, I’m just an average baker. I’m no Gordon Ramsay”

“I don’t see Gordon Ramsay making apple danishes and apple bread. I bet you could kick his ass” Stacey adds as you all begin to laugh.

Bobby relishes bring included in this moment of banter. Seeing how light and free you are when your wall is completely down and there’s no anxiety in sight.

“I’d love to try them, can I?” Bobby cuts in.

He doesn’t miss the way your face lights up at his comment.

“Sure, I think there’s still some left from my test batch this morning let me go check”

You say before going out back to check.

“Can I ask you something about her?” Bobby asks, his voice soft with a hint of hesitation.

“Of corse you can, though I might not give you a answer”

Bobby can’t help but smile at Stacey’s direct protectiveness of you. He’s happy you have a friend like her.

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“No she doesn’t” Stacey says arching your eyebrow in curiosity.

“Do you think she’d want to go to dinner with me?”

Stacey looks over her shoulder to see if you were coming before answering.

“I’m going to be real honest for a second. Yes, honestly I think she would love to go to dinner with you. She really enjoys when you come in and truly was worried something had happened to you when you didn’t for a while. But with that being said don’t ask her if you’re not serious about going actually. Don’t ask her just to blow her off or to only get what you want when it’s convenient for you.”

“I get where your coming from”

“I’m not trying to say you’re the type to do that. She just-she has a big heart and people love to take advantage of that. She doesn’t trust or open up easy. At times she has crippling anxiety. So just be patient with her. Your smart and perspective, I’m sure you’ve noticed that her anxiety eases when she sees that you’re here”

Bobby knows exactly what Stacey’s talking about. He picked up on your anxiety immediately, notcing that over time when he’d come in at peak times you’d sometimes be drowning in your anxiety. But he swore you’d look up and connect eyes with you and he’d see your expression soften, your body become less tense. He always thought it was his eyes playing tricks on him, letting himself see what he wanted to see. But Stacey confirming it was real made the fire in his chest burn hotter.

As they can hear you coming back Stacey leans in quickly to Bobby so you don’t hear.

“She finds comfort in you, please don’t take that for granted”

Bobby nods, you’re too close now to respond. He appreciates the serious heart to heart with Stacey.

“Hey sorry it took so long, I think they taste better heated up so I was waiting for the little oven to heat up so I could warm them up for you”

“Well I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll be in the office for a bit doing payroll. Welcome back Bobby, it was nice to see you” Stacey offers before leaving the two of you alone.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me”

“Oh no it’s no worries, really. Oh I ah should have asked do you need it packed up? You probably need to get back to work.”

“Im actually all done for the day. But I can go, I’m sure you want to go home.” Bobby says as he starts to stand, worried he’s over stayed his welcome.

“Oh ok, here let me pack these up for you”

You’re disappointed, Bobby can tell by your tone. He feels clueless navigating stuff like this sometimes. He never wants to come off as over baring or clingy, he’s been sold so many times that needy guys aren’t attractive.

“It was nice to see you today, hope you like the pastries” you offer unable to tamp down your smile. There was just something about Bobby that drew you too him, that made you feel like there’s this electricity between the two of you.

Bobby’s half way through the doorway when he doubles back. His hearts pounding but he just has to do it.

“Sorry, one more thing. Would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Like…on a date?” You ask shifting on your feet nervously. It couldn’t be could it?

“Yes, If you’d want that. If not id still like to go as friends.” Bobby wonders if you can see if his heart pounding in is chest because, fuck- he was nervous.

“I’d really like that…to go on a date with you”

A genuine smile rolls so quickly over both of your faces as both of you look at each other in awe.

You go around the counter to get a piece of paper and a pen.

“Here, this is my number just let me know when it works with your schedule and I can make it work with mine”

“Heres mine as well”

The way your fingers graze his when you take his card send electricity shooting through his whole body.

“I’m off the whole week because of all the over time I’ve worked, are you free tomorrow or is that to short notice?”

“No, that works for me I can do that”

Your smile makes Goren feel like he’s the only person in the world.

“Does 5 o’clock work?”

“Works for me”

“Where can I pick you up?”

“You can pick me up here”

“Oh ah I don’t want to rush you, making you get ready here”

“Oh” you let out a little laugh. “I just live upstairs. Stacey and I both do”

“Just ring the buzzer for Apartment 1 next to the graffiti covered door and I’ll come right down”

——————————————————————

The buzzer sounds as you quickly pad across your apartment to the call box.

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Bobby, sorry I’m a little early”

“It’s ok, let me grab my shoes and I’ll be right down”

Bobby fidgets with his hands, rubbing his thumb into the palm of the opposite hand while he waits.

He can’t help the smile that comes at just hearing the door click open and it only grows as you open the door and step out on to the sidewalk. The way the early evening sun hits you makes you look ethereal.

“You look beautiful, I like your dress” Bobby beams.

“Thank you so much, I had to get it when I saw it, but never had a reason to wear it” you smile.

“You look very handsome” you try to turn away but he catches a glimpse of you blushing. Bobby thinks it’s so cute when to get shy like this.

“I really like your suite, it’s a nice color on you” you say reaching over and rubbing the fabric between your index finger and thumb. “It’s soft too” you say with a smile.

Bobby lets out a content hum, the sound makes you painfully aware that you actually did in-fact feel the fabric of his suite coat.

“Oh god I’m sorry” you say pulling your focus to the ground. “I have this bad habit of feeling the texture of things”

“It’s ok, I get it. You’re a tactile person. Please don’t feel bad. I also have a bad habit of touching things. Picking things up and checking them out or playing with them. And most people really don’t like it when you touch their stuff. I try not to but I just can’t help myself.”

“You can feel my dress if you want”

Bobby can’t help but smile at the gesture and the meaning behind it.

His finger tips lightly graze the bare skin of your arm as he takes the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers.

The little giggle that bubbles out of you when the sensation of his touch tickles you leaves him breathless.

To any just passerby this scene unfolding must look awkward. And it is, but it is the must beautiful kind of awkward. The both of you showing vulnerable glimpses of yourselves to one another and being met with nothing but acceptance.

“Do you like Italian food? There’s a great place near here I thought I could take you too, if you’d like”

“I love Italian, that sounds great”

The two of you fall into comfortable small talk as you walk to the restaurant.

The two of you are met with a warm happy welcome when you walk into a quaint restaurant.

“Welcome back, Bobby! Your usual table and meal tonight?” The hostess says with a smile.

He comes here often

“I…ah actually would like table for two tonight” Bobby responds as he turns to smile at you.

“Wonderful, right this way” the waitress beams

“Their food is very good here. The veal parmesan is my favorite but you really can’t go wrong with anything here”

“Can I get anything else to drink besides water for the two of you?”

“I’ll have a glass of red wine please”

“And for you miss?”

“Oh, just water is ok for me”

“I’ll ah I’ll just stick with water too”

“No, no it’s ok, please have the wine”

“Sorry I should have asked if you were ok with alcohol.”

“Really it’s ok. It’s not like that. I just… I’m admittedly very nervous about tonight so if I mix that with alcohol, I’ll just talk your ear off” you laugh.

“I think I’d like that” he smiles. He could listen to you talk all night long.

It’s at this point you’re painfully aware that the restaurant is getting very busy. A huge party arrived taking over one whole side of the tiny space. You’re trying to ignore it, to just focus on the sound of Bobby’s soothing voice. You so badly want tonight to go well, and certainly having a panic attack within the middle of the restaurant would not help in that.

The two of you order dinner, as the loud drone of conversations are crashing together. Your heart starts pounding as all the chatter becomes impossible to sort through. You squirming around in your seat as you try to sooth yourself doesn’t go unnoticed by Bobby. He sees your pulse quickening in the glow of the restaurant, as your eyes squeeze shut. He knows right away you’re having a panic attack without you having to say anything as he springs into action.

Quietly he goes up to the hostess, explaining that you’re not feeling well and asks to pay for dinner and for it to-go.

When he turns back you’re gripping the table so tightly your knuckles are white.

Bobby kneels down next to you,smoothing his hand up and down your back. The way you relax into his touch fills his chest with that familiar warm sensation.

“Why don’t we go” he softly says into your ear.

I really fucking did it now

Letting out a pained sigh you slowly stand. You can’t even bring yourself to look at him as he guides the two of you out of the restaurant, his hand never leaving your lower back.

“Are you ok?” He tilts his head trying to look at your face.

You can feel yourself retreated further and further inward, embarrassed and upset with yourself.

“I should go, I’m sorry I ruined your night. Thank you for taking me out, or atleast trying too”

You turn to walk away but Bobby reaches out for your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Please wait. I’ll take you home if you’d like. But you need to know you’d your not ruining my night.”

“That’s very nice of you but…” you start but Bobby cuts you off when he sees tears in your eyes.

“Hey, do you like ice cream? What if we got ice cream and walked around the park?

“Wait you want to continue our date by getting ice cream when we couldn’t even get though dinner”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” Bobby smirks

“Ok” you smile

“Maybe there will be a lot of ducks at the pound” you say smiling up at him as the two of you exit the ice cream parlor.

“You like animals” it’s less of a question and more of making a mental note out loud.

“I do. I love animals. I like them more than most people because all they want is to give and receive unconditional love. They don’t judge you. They’re just there for you.”

“I never thought about it that way, but you’re right. It really is unfair that some of us have to feel that way.”

“It is because I don’t think you ever fully get used to being an acquired for most people. I just wish It hadn’t taken me so long to realize most people were just using me.”

Bobby’s both saddened and surprised by your comment. On one hand it hurts him that you’ve ever had to feel this way, that you’ve had to experience that same kind of loneliness. And on the other hand he’s never had someone pull the thoughts right out of his own head, to be able put to words to what that exact feeling is like.

A thought occurred to Bobby- Would she let me hold her hand. Before he can stop himself hes sliding his hand softly down your fore arm to lace his fingers with yours.

“Is this ok?” Bobby asks bashfully asks as the two of you enter the park.

The way you lock eyes with him when you answer, the way you’re filled with pure happiness radiating off of you makes the breath catch in his throat. He’s never felt this free before with anyone and he’s prepared to make sure you feel that you’ll always feel that way too.

—————————————————————-

That one date turned into the two of you seeing eachother every day that week that Bobby was off.

That week turned into months, 4 months to be exact and as you burst onto the street below, your arms full of bags Bobby cant remember a time he was happier.

“What’s all this?” He laughs as he takes the bags as you two wait for a cab to his place.

“We havnt gotten to see each other in a couple weeks, I though I could cook dinner for us and we could just relax, watch some movies or read.”

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble”

“Well I want too, besides I got a new cookbook with some of the gift cards you gave me for the bookstore. So there’s some stuff I’ve been dying to make.

“ you know.. you didn’t have to do that you know. You didn’t have to send that gift card over”

“I know. But I was upset I couldn’t take you to the book store to get that new book you’ve been excited about. Were you able to get it?”

“Yes! I was able to get the last signed edition they had” you beam up at him, unable to contain your excitement.

“I havnt finished it yet, but it’s so good Bobby! I brought it so you could see it, can I show you?”

“Of course” he smiles as he leans against you, looking on as you show him the book.

“Do you mind if shower quickly?”

“Of course, no rush. I’ll get started on dinner. Take your time, don’t worry about me” you coo, wrapping your arms around his neck as you push yourself up on your tippy toes to kiss him.

As Bobby wipes the steam covered mirror with his towel he can’t help but stare at his own reflection, desperate to see himself the way you see him. Everything about being around you feels like a dream, still In disbelief that a girl like you would choose to spend time with him. That a girl like you who’s so kind, patient and loving wants him in her world.

Bobby knew he wasn’t for everyone, that most people thought he was to weird, obsessive and by the book. He had a short fuse when it came to other peoples bullshit and could be somewhat of a loose cannon but the moment someone made comments about him he would shrink back into himself because deep down he always believed their hateful words.

But when you look at him, your eyes are always filled with a level of love and empathy that he’s never received from anyone before. Bobby knows he’s weird, that there’s a lot about himself and his personality that he can’t help. When it comes to you though he feels free, he never feels out of place or like he doesn’t fit into society when he’s with you.

The sight of you swaying to the music you have on as you cook makes his heart thunder in his chest.

I love this women

“Dance with me for a moment while dinner cooks” Bobby whispers, his breath fanning your neck as he wraps his arms around you nuzzling into you.

“I don’t know how too” you giggle, never getting enough when he’s like this- clingy and playfully romantic.

“It’s ok, follow my lead. I’ll teach you.” Bobby relishes moments like this. He loved teaching you things.

“There, that’s it, just like that” he coos as the two of you glide around the kitchen.

You let out the cutest content hum as you buried your face in his chest. He gradually slows the two of you to a stop as he holds you In the middle of the kitchen.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks kissing the crown of your head.

You tilt your head up to find his deep brown eyes watching you intently.

“I’m thinking about how happy you make me”

Just as he’s about to reply Bobby’s work phone starts ringing. He lets out a gravely growl.

“I’m sorry, that’s work I have to get it”

“It’s ok” you whisper stepping back to busy yourself taking dinner out of the oven. You try to hide the fact that you’re sad, but it’s useless, Bobby knows he can feel it, he knows your micro-expressions like the back of his hand.

“This is Goren” he answers the phone as he steps into the living room.

The rest of the phone call is in a quick hushed tone. You can tell Bobby’s frustrated by the call.

“I-I have to go. I’m really sorry. There’s a huge development in our case and they need me”

“It’s ok. I’ll just put this in the fridge and go too”

“No no. It’s ok please stay. Make yourself at home. I will be back I just don’t know when.”

“O-okay”

This couldn’t have come at a worse time is all Bobby can think as he makes his way to the station. You’re always so good about his schedule but this is the first time he’s had to leave abruptly like that for work and while you were at his place no less. A place you havnt been many times and he knows your probably anxious right now about being there alone.

“What’s the update?”

“The manager of a motel in the Catskills called the tip line saying a father and two children matching Nathan and his kids checked into his motel a couple of hours ago. Chef wants us to go out there and stake it out.”

“Alright let’s head out then”

——————————————————————

“Sorry to have to call you in Bobby” Eames says finally breaking the silence in the back of the stake out van.

“It’s fine, wasn’t trying to be short on the phone” Bobby waves his hand as he’s looking out the window.

“Eames I think I got something” he says handing her the binoculars.

“Over there at the vending machine, I think that’s Lilly, Nathan’s daughter”

“She was pretty glued to you when we were there for questioning drew you that picture, maybe she remembers you. If she does she could get us access to Nathan.”

Eames and Bobby cautiously approach the little girl at the vending machine.

“Hi Lily, do you remember me and my partner Alex? We came to your house a few times.”

“Yes, policeman Bobby. Did you hang my picture up?”

“Of course I did, right next to my desk just like I said.” Bobby says kneeling next to Lily.

“You did! I hope everyone likes it!” Lily’s eyes light up as she scoots closer to Bobby.

“Can you tell us where you dad and brother are?” Eames asks

“They are in the room. Dad and bothers hair is turning blonde but the room is really stinky so I came out here. Dad said mine would change too.”

“He’s bleaching their hair” Bobby says locking eyes with Eames.

“Sweetheart, do you think you could take us to the room, we’d like our hair blonde too.”

“Ok, but could I have some more chips? I’m hungry”

“Yes, let’s get you some more chips” Bobby says pulling a dollar from his pocket and slipping it into the machine and handing the chips to the girl.

“Can you show us the way? we don’t know where to go?”

“Mmhmm” Lily hums happily as her little hand grabs Bobby’s.

Bobby and Eames hang back a moment as Lily enters the room.

“Daddy! My friend are here and they got me some chips!”

Nathan looks up to unexpectedly to find the pair starring back at him, scrambling he draws his gun.

“Hey..hey point your gun at me not my partner.” Bobby’s voice booms

“We’re just here to talk Nathan, we walk to help you.”

“Bull shit you don’t want to help me. You don’t give a shit about me. You just want to take my family away.” Nathan gestures angrily, turning his attention back towards Eames.

“Hey what did I tell you focus on me, not my partner.”

“We do want to help you, and we will. We will make sure that you have access to therapy and meds on the inside.”

“Fuck you man I’m not going away, you’re not putting my kids with strangers” Nathan reaches for Lilly while waving his gun at Bobby.

“Daddy please stop shouting at my friends”

“Shut up, they’re not your friends, they want to take you away from me just like they did with mommy”

“Why don’t you let my partner take the kids to the diner to get some food and you and I will have a talk.”

“Give her your gun and phone, put them on the floor and slid them over to her, no funny business” Nathan motions his gun towards Eames.

Bobby does what he’s told. He knows it’s risky but he needs to get Eames and the kids out of here.

“Lily can you draw me some new pictures to hang up at work?”

“Ok I can do that” she says as she takes Eames and her brother’s hand and they all leave.

“You know she looks up to you, ever since the two of you came poking around the house asking question she’s talked about you guys nonstop. It’s pretty cruel to tell a child you care just to get what you want.”

“I’m not lying. I hung the picture up next to my desk.”

“You’re the one lying to her about us taking her mother away.”

“If you hadn’t of been hanging around asking questions….” Bobby cuts Nathan off mid sentence.

“Nathan. Your embezzling money, stealing from your clients. We’re doing our jobs asking questions.”

“If you didn’t come around asking questions that made my wife suspicious she’d still be alive.”

“Don’t put that on me. You killed your wife not me.” Bobby shouts unable to keep his cool any longer.

“You don’t get it do you? This is a eye for a eye situation”

“So what, you want to hurt me? You want hit me? Go ahead, give me the best you’ve got.” Goren snarls.

Nathan laughs

“Only one of us is leaving this room and it’s not going to be you Bobby”

“You’re really stooping to a new low threatening a detective.”

“It’s not a threat. Your not leaving this room alive”

Bobby’s starting to panic, his heart pounding against his chest as he try’s to figure a way out.

“If you kill me youll never see your kids again, you’ll loose everything.”

“I already lost everything when you forced me to kill my wife. My only choice is to take you out.” Nathan says as he takes a step closer

“And what are you going do when your daughter comes in here and sees you’ve killed her friend.”

“Do not talk about my daughter. She needs to learn that the world is cruel and that not everyone is what they seem” Nathan spits as he digs the gun into Bobby’s chest.

Bobby’s mind races as he try’s to slow his breathing. He knows Nathan wants to see him panicking, he’s desperately trying to ease his mind. In all of his career he’s never felt this close to death, he can’t do that to Eames or to you.

“Hope you told the person you have at home that you love them because you’ll never see them again”

In an instant all Bobby sees is your face, the way you looked into his eyes as he lead you around his kitchen in a dance. Everything about it was so simple and romantic and then you told him how happy he makes you. And then he never got to tell you how happy you make him, how he’s never loved anyone the way he loves you. The idea of never getting to see what life would be like with you makes him see red and he snaps.

“Well come on, do it if you’re going to do it” Bobby Growls. The pain of his thoughts being flooded with moments that would never be with you, hurts worse than death it’s self he’s sure of it.

A rapid secession of bangs rings out from the other side of the door rendering Nathan distracted for a slipt second. Bobby lunges forward grabbing ahold of the gun and kicking his knee trying to knock him down.

He pushes against Bobby causing him to stumble back, he attempts to take a shot at Bobby but when does he pushes hard back into him. The bullet lodges into the wall as Nathan regains his footing holding the gun on Bobby.

Eames bursts through the door in this moment.

“Nathan drop your weapon” she shouts holding her gun on him.

“Your going to have to shoot me or I’m going to shoot your partner”

Nathan lunges torwards Bobby and with out hesitation Eames shoots him in the b chest in self defense.

Bobby sits there in the back of the van, his head in his hands as they make the couple hour drive back to the city.

“Are you alright, Bobby?” Eames asks needing to check on her partner.

“Am I am ok? No I’m not ok. I almost died. Almost never saw her again.” He grits out, frazzled and shaken by the whole ordeal.

“Ugh sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just shaken up”

“I heard what he said to you. You love her don’t you?”

Bobby nods in response, afraid to say it out loud.

“Does she know?”

“No” Bobby shakes his head with a low voice. He lets out a long breathy sigh as he leans his head back against the wall of the van before closing his eyes.

“I feel loved too” Bobby breaths out into the dark quietness of the van as they pull back into the station garage.

Bobby never talks like this, so Eames knows he’s being genuine and vulnerable with her.

“You go, I’ll go up and do our paperwork before I go home.”

“No it’s ok”

“You’ve had a long night, you deserve some rest. Take a few paid days off. If the captain has an issue with it he can take it up with me”

“Thank you, Eames” Bobby gives her a tight lipped smile before heading to his car.

You’re all he can think about on you his drive home. He’s so distraught and disheveled over tonight’s events. All he wants right now is for you to crowd his senses, to be in your arms with your hands messaging through his hair as you tell him everything going to be alright.

As Bobby pulls up to his places he hope that some luck is on his side, that you’ll still be there but he fears it’s unlikely. After a few minutes he drags himself inside. You left the light on above the sink for him, there’s a note telling him that dinner is in the fridge for him. He takes this as a sign that you’ve left and his shoulders sag a little.

He just stairs at the small plate of food on the counter. His nerves are still through the roof from work but he knows he needs to eat, not really remembering the last time he did. He’s aimlessly pacing around the kitchen picking at the plate of food when he notices warm dim light coming from his bedroom.

Maybe she did stay.

Bobby stops in his tracks at the sight of you sound asleep in his bed with a your book laid across your chest. He can’t help but tear up as he sinks down on the bed next to you, leaning over you to grab your bookmark off the bedside table. As he gently takes the book off your chest and places the bookmark inside he notices your wearing one of his undershirts as a bed shirt.

Softly he lets his body fall onto yours, his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“Mmhmm Bobby” you hum sleepily as you wrap your arms around him tightly, one hand instinctually messaging through his short greying curls.

Bobby lets out a ragged breath as he melts further into you.

“What time is it? I should go and let you get some rest.”

“Please…don’t go. Don’t leave me alone” Bobby chokes out.

“I-I I’m not going anywhere Bobby”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight, not right now. I’m just to-I was just to scared I’d never see you again. I just want to be near you”

“Why don’t we take a shower, that will help sooth you.

Bobby watches you in complete awe of the way you move around the bathroom getting the shower ready, at how caring and loving you are with him. It’s hard for him to believe that all of this is real. That someone like you would truthfully care for him, would want to spend time with him. It’s hard for him to trust people because of his line of work and the life hes had, but opening up to and trusting you was the best decision he ever made.

Taglist: @malindacath @aselys @jupiteress @yesalwayswelles @samfromstardewsgf23 @pixiehex1985 @celticwitchofsorrow @capondi @thatsjustdandy @storywriter12 @namesirrelevant @lzrdonaleash @thegirlthatwillstealurman @modestlyabsurd @cheyanne-chan @darkangelforever333 @gertieisayellowjeep @shuilian @elefrog25-blog @nightsore @dumbasswalkinghere @liviadrusilla44 @musicalwayshelp0193-blog @malevolent-muse @mandy426 @missingfromthephotographs

[haemosexuality]

i need other peoples opinion on if i can call myself physically disabled/chronically ill

1- i have an autoimmune disease on my liver (incurable) that manifested when i was 11, without any medicine i get very seriously sick and also might die but now that ive been on medication for so long im mostly fine. symptoms i still feel and will probably feel forever tho include

2- getting tired quickly, and if i get too tired i get nauseous. tho i cant tell when its that or just good old sedentarism

3- regular nausea, at least once a week but usually more. its not always very strong

4- i always felt like there might be something else maybe with my heart or lungs or something in that area but nothing was ever found

5- back pain, started when i was around 14. used to be only sometimes but now its like... id im having a bad month its almost every day. sometimes it can go away for a few weeks. if im having a really rough time its gonna be constant and strong for days on end and painkillers wont help. recent doctors visits diagnosed me with big tits and also some mild scoliosis

6- im once again bringing up the fatigueeeee. coupled with like, idk, it feels like my bones get weaker? idk what causes that maybe im anemic idk. id say most days are fine but in some days simple things like showering or holding a mostly empty backpack or eating are so tiring it hurts and i have to lay down after. but its not every day

7-i do have to take pills every day (7) for my liver and stomach to the dosage is very small now since the disease has been stable for years

i think thats all. none of that affects my day to day life that much, and because none of the negative symptoms are constant, i genuinely do not know if it can be considered a capital d Disability. wikipedia calls the autoimmune disease (autoimmune hepatitis) a chronical illness but again, it doesnt make me constantly sick bc of the years of treatment so idk if i count

[deadsnothere]

HE WAS AWAKE?! Pt. 2

synopsis - After a "sleeping" confession gone wrong, Lockwood try's to ease the tension but only makes it worse for himself. Can these obviously idiots figure it out with the help of their friend or are they just that stupid!

Masterlist

request - Yes and no?

Word count - 2.2k

Speak Ali! - LOOK WHO FINISHED PART TWO!! No one else posted lockwood fics today so I thought I might be y'all's hero

HE WAS AWAKE?! <- PT.1

“Did you just call me a self-sacrificing idiot-?” SHIT-

Neither of us spoke for a good 10 seconds. In those ten seconds I'm not even sure if I was breathing. “Yes…?” there was definitely some uncertainty to my tone of voice- I mean how the fuck was that, what Anthony was focused on! I just confessed my love for him while he was “asleep”, and his main worry is that I called him a self-sacrificing idiot. I could feel my stomach finally drop, suddenly I became very aware of everything around me. This was shit.

The way his breath fanned on my neck and chest made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, how he watched my every movement, but I was stuck in place as if I'd been ghost locked. My hands were still settled in his hair, my shoulders tense, head practically spinning.

I want to throw up. At this point my nerves are so bad, I could throw up. Nonetheless I spoke softly and shakily. “I should've checked, if you were asleep-” This was painful. Physically painful, My stomach was doing backflips- and not good backflips you get when you're happy, those horrid one's you get when you can feel the worst about to come. ”you weren't supposed to hear that-'' Why wont my mouth shut up- “I'm sorry I just…” -Oh wait, I’m supposed to shut my mouth up.

I didn't try to speak anymore, just slowly moved myself away from Anthony, moving to the end of the bed to stand up. My eyes were swelling with tears, like anticipation in a good book, they were building up to drop the worst part.

“Alias-” I can feel how wobbly my legs are, my vision was blurry for a few seconds when I stood up and I went for the door. I opened it quietly, “Alias! Would you list-” slipping out before I could hear the rest of what he wanted to say. This shit was unbearable. I’ve never wanted to throw up more, maybe I should, it might make me feel better- No I know who can make me feel better.

Lucy Carlyle. Was my best friend. When she first moved in we were rooming together, because we were fixing up my room to be liveable again after a small accident with some smoke and a left on solder iron. In those two months of us living together we’d become very close, learning things about each other, we hadn't even told the people closest to us before. She's is who’s room, i'm speed walking to right now.

“Lucy! Lucy, please open the door, I need someone to hate this jackass with me.” I knocked as softly as I could but hopefully hard enough for her to hear it. We had names for them both, George was Asswipe and Lockwood was Jackass, we did this so we could talk about them without them noticing, although it was mostly used for Lockwood since Lucy loved to tease me about having a “crush” on him. When she opened the door she looked tired, her hair was a bit messy, one hand was rubbing her eye while the other held someone else's. Oh shit I forgot Norrie was here.

“Hi Norrie, Lucy, I'm so sorry for interrupting your time with your girlfriend but our boss is an ass.” The more I spoke, the more I could hear my voice start to crack from the overwhelming emotions swirling in my head. This fucking sucked. This was so shit- I hate this. Norrie just nodded her head and laid it on Lucy's shoulder. Lucy gave her forehead a quick kiss before she whispered in her ear softly. Norrie moved to lay back down in Lucy’s bed while Lucy stepped out and shut the door behind her.

We both moved without speaking, Walked down the stairs past my room, where the door was cracked still. Lockwood was in my room, stood up looking around at the metal creations hanging off the ceiling. Both me and Lucy were looking into the room, spying on him. “Why's lockwood in your room Alias?” I sighed and lifted my head up nodding a no for now, before we started our descent down the staircase again.

When we got to the kitchen I sat down, while Lucy put the kettle on the burner. When she did so she looked over to me with a raised eyebrow. “So what did the jackass do this time?” I sighed softly and finally let the tears slip out of my eyes. “I confessed my love for him and called him a self-sacrificing idiot while I thought he was asleep- But he wasn't asleep.” Lucy's face cringed. She didn't know it was this bad. “And when he answered he said, “Did you call me a self-sacrificing idiot,” completely ignoring what I said before.”

She put a hand on her forehead. “Oh Ali…Ali” She walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my head and patting my back softly. “He's an idiot.” I nodded along with her, hugging her waist back. Tears fluently slipped out of my eyes, They slipped out because I was definitely not letting them out willingly. “He's the biggest Jackass! I mean I told him I loved him and he focused on that!” I sighed when she let go, I put my head into my hands and sighed. “of all things, the idiot focused on that!”

Lucy laughed lightly, She always had this face when she knew something you didn't, What did she know? “What do you know!?” She jumped almost scared. “Uh- Nothing, what are you talking about-” I squinted at her. “You stuttered you almost never stutter that hard, What do you know, Carlyle.”

She ignored my question and took the whistling kettle off the burner, she turned the stove dial to off, took three cups down, Mine, Norries, and one I couldn't see, because she was obviously standing in front of it, to hide it from me. She poured hot water into all three, took two tea bags out of an earl gray box and a hot chocolate packet out of a different box. “You hate earl gray.” She looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. “I do, But Lockwood doesn’t.” I squinted at her as threat when she stepped out of the way of my line of sight and lockwoods mug itself. “I don't wanna talk to him.” Lie. “Oh don't bullshit me, Alias.” She scoffed at the horrible lie. “I know you like the palm of my hand. We both know, you want to know what he's thinking right now, So you're going to talk to him.”

I rolled my eyes watching closely as she mixed my hot chocolate powder into the hot water, after she put the two bags of earl gray into the other two cups of water. She handed me my cup, as well as Lockwoods, and pulled me to stand up.

We made it to the bottom of the staircase before she stopped me. “Hear him out Ali, I Know you're not the happiest with him right now, but hear his side, ok?” I just nodded a yes, and continued to walk up the stairs with her. Stopping in front of my door. Lockwood was now looking around at my metal working table. Me and Lucy made eye contact, she gave me a thumbs up before softly pushing me into the door and scrambling off herself.

When I was pushed into the door I tried my hardest not to spill any of the hot liquid on myself. Anthony was startled when I barged in. “Are you ok, Alias?” He came to my aid almost immediately, helping me steady myself. I set both the cups down on the desk right beside the door, sighing deeply and rubbing my forehead, hoping maybe i'll explode and not have to deal with this. But I still looked him in the eye and tried my absolute best not to sound like I was going to cry when I spoke. “Why didn’t you respond to me, when I said “I love you”?” He immediately dodged the question. “Can you hand me the cup?”

“Anthony, you answer my question now and I'll at least have some understanding of how you feel, or I'll walk out of this room right now.” I couldn't tell how Anthony felt in the moment, He was so confusing!- Why was he so blank faced it made no sense. This was supposed to be a big emotional moment when he rejects me and says he loves someone else and I try to move on. “We never speak of this again and we're both left confused. So please Ant don't do that to me-” Ok so maybe I sounded a bit desperate, I couldn't help it! my emotions were getting so overwhelming, I felt like I was about to explode. “-Just reject me and let's lay back down and go to sleep,” My hands ran through my hair, the pieces falling in front of my face. He grabbed my hands and pulled me close to his chest, his arms wrapped around my waist and his head laid on my own. “Please Ant…” I think I’d broken his heart at that moment. My voice spoke sweet like honey but it was saturated in desperation.

He sighed softly, Taking in that moment as much as he could. “I didn't respond because you make me nervous, Alias. Your touch could burn holes in my skin, darling.” His arms loosened his grip around me, Slowly slipping up to my face, cradling it in his hand. ”That was poetic, Anthony..” We both chuckled, I kissed his palm and smiled at him warmly. ”I do love you, Alias. I was just too much of a wimp to say it.” I giggled, his other hand moved to cup the other side of my face. ”Yeah you are a wimp.” I pulled him closer and dug my head into his chest. ”Thank you so much, darling for making me feel better-” I giggled once again trying to hide how happy this made me feel..

Lockwood used his pointer finger and thumb, making me face him. He wasn't using that stupid charming smile that although I loved, didn't feel like the real him. Instead he gave me that boyish grin, the one that made my heart flutter when I made eye contact with him, the one that showed how vulnerable he was willing to be with me. “Can I kiss you? Before I realize this is another crazy dream, I’ll play on repeat in the morning.” Laughing lightly, I placed my hands on his hips. “oh, you’ve been dreaming about me?” I just knew my face was lit up like a Christmas tree, I tried my best to softly whisper out a response. “But please do kiss me you idiot.”

When we kissed for the first time it wasn't what i thought it would be, it was awkward and felt weird. But afterwards we still giggled about it. This time I grabbed his face and pulled him down slightly so his lips would slot just perfectly with mine. The first kiss wasn't that great, But the second kiss was electric. His hands trailed up my hips, up my waist, one stopping on my back, the other on the nape of my neck. Our body's pulled as close together as possible. Our mouths moved perfectly together, like we were singing the same song. I had to pull away first, he was following my lips as they left his own. "I simply cannot believe that I waited this long to kiss you.” I laughed at his words, but not in a mocking way- in a feeling of pure joy. “I'm so glad you did…But my bed looks kinda lonely. I'm sure it wouldn't mind, two more people?”

He raised an eyebrow at me, jokingly. “What are you saying, Alias? Trying to get me in your bed.” I sighed softly, kissing his forehead, and backing up from him slightly towards my bed.. “You have to be my boyfriend's first jackass.” He gave me a smug smirk. “Oh so I have to be your boyfriend to get in bed with you huh?” Anthony walked towards me slowly. Once he reached me, he lifted me up slightly and watched me fall on the bed. Immediately laying down next to me. “Looks like I'm your boyfriend now, darling.”

This idiot- “Very smooth Ant- But yes now you are my boyfriend.” He didn't ask, he just said. I'm sure if I would’ve said I wasn't comfortable with it he would’ve backed off but after what just happened there, I'm sure he knew.

He pulled me closer to him, feeling his chest go up and down with his breathing, hands wrapped around my waist and our legs tangled together once more. It was the same yet, so different, at the same time. “Good night, Alias.” He kissed the top of my head softly. “Good night, Anthony.” I repeated the action on his cheek.

Laying my head down on his chest and feeling my eyes slowly…fall closed. Finally meeting the sandman.

(George was not happy about our wasted tea bags, he found in the trash the next morning.)

I'm not going to lie i went crazy when you all actually liked the first part- thank you so much for the likes on that post! i genuinely really appreciate it!

[thelarsvolta96]

post about life lately

this is gonna be a long one so buckle up i guess. just wanted to explain why ive been gone and rarely active lately.

so ive been in and out of the ER lately, my most recent stay being 5 days long, because ive been having severe digestion issues and pain to the point where i couldnt eat or drink anything because it would just come right back up. my mental health has been down the fuckin drain lately as well. and i have no funds or health insurance to get help with any of this. thankfully before my ER visit i scheduled a mental health visit for tomorrow, which i totally forgot about until they emailed me asking for paperwork. but my follow up for my physical health isnt until october 3rd, and thats just to establish care, i doubt ill get any answers there. in the meantime ive lost 20 lbs without meaning to or trying, just because i cant eat very much at all. im somewhat convinced that i cant eat beef or gluten at all, and any time i eat a leafy veggie or something like broccoli that causes me intense pain and discomfort as well. but i dont know. i need to get allergy testing done and whatever other testing they can do on me. they did an upper endoscopy on me at the hospital and said i had "minor gastritis" which is ridiculous because of course its gonna look minor when i havent eaten in a week. i havent even been aggravating it. i dont know what to do. for now im eating what little i can and conserving my energy. im just so lost. not to mention my mental health just constantly spiraling, im sure in part due to me not getting the nutrients i need and also because i just feel so sick constantly.

the drs at the ER kept saying they think its cannabinoid hyperemesis, which i think is pretty bullshit, but they say the symptoms can last up to 6 months after ur last use. so i guess im gonna be off the weed until the end of march to see if thats really whats causing all of this. im hoping ill get a different diagnosis from the drs im able to see, but i dont know if i will. i just have to play it safe. unfortunately, the weed was like the single best helper for my physical pain from just existing as well as for eating food, so my appetite is basically nonexistent at this point as it has been for well over a decade now, only now i have no way to stimulate it. so now im in constant pain, constantly tired, constantly feeling sick. its hell.

anyway, im trying to keep a list of trigger foods, and so far its been any beef, and ive had a hard time with saltine crackers and pretzels. ive eaten chicken and rice alright, i was even bad and ate some french fries with sauce the other day and that was ok. hence my thinking that gluten might be fucking with me. but i have no idea. im just so distraught. i want answers. i need to be able to live my life.

i guess thats pretty much everything. hopefully i wont disappear for a large length of time again. sorry everybody