#i wont go in depth but its just a lot on me

[bawmbo]

hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed

killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;

the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.

to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)

i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea

to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.

i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.

maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.

in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.

my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha

another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude

[daily-crabbys]

Crab blog might go on hiatus. I'm a little on the fence about it but there's some stuff going on that I don't need to explain so I won't. It's why I've been sporadic posting, and if I don't post tomorrow I'm probably going to be on a break for an indefinite amount of time. hopefully it won't be too long but we'll have to see. will stock up on some crab posts for my return if I do!

[todayisafridaynight]

Throwing in fun (not fun) facts to contribute esp bc I was tagged in the essay: (Sorry in advance this is literally my career and special interest AND I just got back from a training conference about this SO obv I am going to talk too much. Disclosure: These statistics are from peer-reviewed sources AND the National Children's Alliance. The NCA IS an American association, though, so take this all with a grain of salt bc we're applying it to someone whose bg is not American lmao. This is an essay for funsies. CW: discussion of and stats about CSA, Child Abuse) Relevant to the Jo stuff is also that victims of one/any kind of abuse are statistically much more likely to subsequently face overlapping abuse, so knowing he comes from a home where abuse and potential neglect was actively occurring sets Jo-boy up for some sad statistics. I am looking for my notes on the stats for that but it's something stupid high, I wanna say over 30 or 40%.

Additionally, 47%~ of CSA victims are revictimized. Abysmal statistic but mostly just an interesting note if this IS the case/if we choose to interpret Jo this way bc of the other things mentioned in Masu's ask, specifically if we're viewing his unhealthy and ultimately traumatic relationship with Ikumi as a potential example of that revictimization (similarly, coming from a like background, it may have been revictimizing for Ikumi if she had ever experienced something like CSA, as well. It's one of those cases where they both got hurt even if neither of them were at fault for "playing house" as Jo calls it).

Seconding/Adding on to Masu's thoughts about Jo's behavior being as self-destructive as it is because of the compounded trauma of his life, victims of adolescent abuse "engage in health-risk behaviors such as substance use, physical fighting, and risky sexual activity," in far higher numbers than non-victims. We know for facts that adolescent Jo checks at least 2 of those 3 boxes, and that he still puts himself in unnecessary danger as a full grown adult (the Heian Tower fight, and Hoshino's Office fight): An interesting and well-written cycle of trauma and abuse on RGGs part, tbh, but also so narratively telling about how he saw/sees/continues to see himself as more an object than a person. (Love your notes on that btw, it rings very true. I could write an essay on that alone tbh.)

Another weird little thing I notice from both a Doyalist AND Watsonian perspective: Jo's disclosure of his father's abuse would classify as what we call an "accidental disclosure" in the field even though it's clearly intentional that he shares it with Ichi - it's offhanded and markedly unimportant in the story he's telling. He says it passively in a literary sense, as well: "The only thing waiting for me at home was my father's fists." Like homie, that's the most roundabout way you could have said "My dad beat me." Interestingly, up to 50% of [specifically CSA] victims do not state outright that abuse occurs, but disclose it accidentally/offhandedly; and in general, accidental disclosure is more common among people who have also delayed disclosure. Up to 66% of admissions from victims of child abuse come delayed if they come at all.

I think it's a very in-character remark of him to make, but statistically, it lines up with other victims of abuse as a whole. I think it's also just cool that from the Doyalist perspective, writing his lines in this way was intentional. It's part of the whole "Everything Jo says sounds like it could mean more than one thing" thing. He speaks poetically - it's intentional not just for the character but for the writer.

Okay, I'm done for now I'm sorry I just wanted to throw some added stuff into the convo bc I love applying my everyday usage of adolescent-focused trauma care and pysch shit to blorbos and seeing what sticks. Anyway, I also have a shit ton of thoughts on Masumi Arakawa as an abuse survivor but THATS another essay I won't dig into now. If I am still in your good graces after this long ass spiel I will consider it not only amazing but perhaps even cool as hell.

[ continuity of this ask ]

[green-eyes-and-orange-ties]

Tag talk

[horrorsequel]

chin hair only thing local man likes about himself, mom constantly mentions he should shave it and he says he will later. he is mostly lying.

[themindelectricdemo4]

i don't know if i could EVER part HIM I mean, Just thinking about it tears through my brain like PAPER IN A SHREDDER I'm stone cold at a memorial thing 4 my late uncle but I think about losing HIM & tears start coming because he just fucking. Like how the fuck am I gonna do this i just wanna start ripping at my flesh & muscle because thinking about leaving him gives me the feeling that something is writhing under my skin I just wanna tear it out & make it stop ^^^^^^^^^ I imagine a world without both of my darlings & i think i would just k#(*%(^ll myself!!!!!!!!!!

[fukcnoplease]

Thanks to a certain krosrios on instagram ive been thinking up a new dpxdc fanfic

Cause listen having Danny leave his town cause of angst or college is cool. Having Danielle leave the town out of angst or just because is grand.

But hear me out

Dan going to Gotham because he has bonded enough with Team Phantom that they trust him to not destroy the world. He has gotten attached to Dani and reattached to Jazz and though he wont admit it is maybe a little too attached to purposefully destroy what they love.

Maybe he is following Jazz to keep her safe. Maybe he is just getting out of dodge for personal reasons and someone (cough cough) nudged him in the direction of Gotham.

But like imagine

Some angry kid settles down in crime alley of all places and quickly becomes talk of the town bc for how agressive he is he is also well known for helping when he can, in a perhaps too agressive way (not unlike a certain red hooded individual).

I imagine he is probably in his twenties and while lanky in his human form built like a tank in his ghost form. He works at a bouncer at a local bar or club and makes some side cash fixing appliances for people.

Some kids start whispering about him maybe being red hood or being related to red hood which obviously catches the vigilantes attention. Especially when some young street kid pulls a “well you would help me wouldnt you…. DAN??” *stares hard to see his reaction*

When Hood doesnt find anything he reluctantly flags it to Tim who only manages to find the name Daniel Fenton but that cant be right. His phone is actively pinging him in a small town in illinois. Unless its a twin of some kind? Or a clone, time jokes, but that cant be it bc thats just some kid. Nobody would have a reason to clone him.

Regardless some random unidentified man who can clearly fight and for whatever reason sets Jason off is a pretty big red flag. And while neither Tim nor Jason particularly wanna tell the Bat since they dont have anything concrete it is pretty concerning.

Maybe they end up breaking into a tired Dan’s apartment and questioning him.

Maybe Duke is walking through town and sees a kind old lady lecturing a fucking ghost?? God??? Guy??? And shoving food into his hands even tho he looks like he could kill her.

Maybe Barbara is spooked by a guy appearing beside her in a bookshop and reaching around her to grab a pretty in depth psychology book.

Maybe Tim finds him later with a young girl who looks just like him playing in the park.

Who knows!! I just think there is a lot to work with and his personality would be just wonderful to add into the batfamily boilin pot.

[decafbat]

i really like how much depth your art has, do you think you could show how you break down bodies when sketching if that makes sense? it’s something i struggle with a lot in my art! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

ok apologies in advance, this is probably going to be a really long and tangential rant about art that may or may not actually help you in learning how to construct bodies. im just gonna put it under a cut to save everyone from seeing this huge text wall.

i dont think its gonna be possible for you to replicate my methods here, because theyre mostly just really specific shortcuts for finding certain proportions and reference points for anatomy, which i'm fairly versed in, but not as much as i'd like to be. the shortcuts you'll need will be different from mine. im glad you think my art has depth, that is something i am trying to seek very intentionally right now, and i dont think im even close to the depth of form i am actually aiming for. so like. this makes making a tutorial kind of inherently hard. nevertheless, i threw this quick sketch together after like 3 failed attempts. (i was doing those attempts digitally, ended up giving up on that and going back to traditional because its what im most comfortable with rn)

i didnt get all the steps i took to get here because scanning that much would be cumbersome but ill try to explain how i got here. i start with the head almost every time.

i use a lot of symbolic/graphic shapes when drawing heads and dont stick to using forms very often besides the circle at the center of the head, which i use as the base to form these graphic shapes around. think of it like "wrapping" the ball in various textures and masses. the eyes are usually "textured" onto the head, notice how the her left eye looks narrower then her right. of course i try to make sure her bangs sit along the curve of the sphere and her ears look like they sit on opposite sides of the head. its easy to forget that part, making the head look unsymmetrical. the particular masses of leica's head would be her snout, which is just a curve extended slightly outside the diameter of the ball, and her hair, which are two strange organic shapes that are quite hard to draw, two hair sprig anime antennae things (forgive me, i forgot the word for them,) and the back of the head, which i usually need to extend slightly. its a little too extended here, needs more on the top, i fix this in the final pass. this was a quick sketch, so i didnt focus too hard on the forms of the head beyond the most essential ones for her design, but i sometimes highlight the form of cheeks with curved hatching, or try to make the eyes appear more sunken-in as they are on human faces. i dont know how to proportion the neck and torso correctly until i draw the head, so i always do it first. next, i did the torso.

so heres why i said that you probably wont be able to replicate this approach. you do kind of just have to practice anatomy, i cant just make it make sense because im not very good at explaining this stuff, but ill try to go through what i did here. so, i generally use simplified bone shapes to find proportions and reference points, as well as more complicated shapes like those of elbows and knees. i try to study fairly often because im not satisfied with here im at with this stuff yet. of course, i dont think i'll ever be. so i'll usually start with the ribcage, add a shoulderblade out the back to find the shoulder, the armbones come out of that, the bone in the upper arm connects to the ulna with a sort of three-pronged attachment, one big knurl in the middle, which forms the thrust of the elbow, two little ones on the side. i think those are part of the ulna but i dont remember. see, you dont really have to know what exactly they do as long as you know what they look like. the ulna does some goofy rotation shit i dont understand, connects to the wrist, and then we have a hand, which, i mean, im not good enough at hands to even be telling you how to do it, but i just have a big squarish mass and some little hotdog fingers coming out of that. you can see on her left hand that ill have a big circle forming the the area on the hand where the thumb attaches... theres more depth to the hands, i think you can easily find better tutorials then i could offer. anyway, under the ribcage theres the pelvis, represented with a box. ill get into that when i talk about the legs. i wanna briefly talk about the way i add the flesh and fat to the bones.

so, i really can't give a comprehensive crash course on anatomy, but i can point you towards the morpho series, which is where i get most of this stuff from. you can get very far with the volumes Simplified Forms, Fat and Skin, and Skeleton and Bone Reference Points. moving on, i just kind of have a feel for where the masses attach by now. the important thing to remember when drawing fat characters like this is that the fat should "hang" from the bones and flesh, drooping down slightly. leicas fat hangs substantially, so she's not very wide despite her weight. this is important to her character design i feel. i almost always draw characters naked first when doing serious drawings because it will come in handy knowing where the forms of the body are when i add the clothing. by focusing on the way her body looks naked, i can modify the impression of those forms when adding clothes, and when i add them later on in this drawing, leica will take on the distinctive boxy look i try to draw her with.

if you look at the arm, youll see that the place the line of bone sits is very high compared to the whole mass of the arm, the flesh and fat of the arm "hang" from the bone, and then the upper arm squishes against the bent forearm too. even if the anatomy in the arm is indistinct, it can still look convincing when the forms act realistically against one another. the elbow has much less fat connected to it, so its more bony then the rest. this isnt actually consistent on all people so like, think about that kind of thing when designing characters, like i was talking about before, fat can sit in infinite different ways. maybe if i was doing a more objective anatomy lesson i'd draw cath, because i do have a sort of vague understanding of muscle placement that doesnt come through here, but probably would if i was drawing a scrawnier character. let me know if you want that.

a word on the breasts too: they hang a bit lower then you'd expect, keep that in mind. the attachment point is also angled, as the line shows. the line starts roughly in the middle of the torso and ends around the armpit, but the form of the breast can go underneath the armpit or even connect around the fold of fat in the back. many things to think about. i love boob shapes. ok lets finally get on with it and talk about the legs.

so, the really specific shape of the pelvis doesnt matter that much unless youre drawing a really thin character, so its just a box here. out from the sides of the pelvis, extending out more then you'd expect, is the femur, which ends in a similar joint to the arm. this shape helps me figure out the form of the knee. two masses on each side with a bunch of complex and weirdly shaped bones forming the kneecap, which i have omitted because i dont yet know shit enough to include them. i am learning though. so, obviously the feet are just scribbles here because im just gonna put her feet in socks anyway. you really dont have to do more then you have to. a few tips i can offer here, the butt should hang a bit too when drawing fat characters, i think the butt is supposed to start just below the pelvis if i remember, but take that with a grain of salt. i also didnt really do that here but its hard to tell because she's facing mostly forward. again, i dont think i can really communicate what's going on here. morpho has a lot of great drawings explaining the shapes and muscles of the legs, all things i might focus on more when drawing a scrawnier character. for this case, i regrettably don't go too hard on the legs. also i should note that legs would usually be much longer, leica is really short so ive exaggerated the proportions to communicate that. i may change my mind on that front in the future and give her more grounded proportions. the important thing to remember with legs is just getting a nice hierarchy of forms going. bigger thigh going into smaller calf going into smaller foot. it mostly comes automatically now.

i added the clothing, shaped up her head a bit, added a bit of fur. i put her in her classic outfit, just a sweater and jeans. i enjoy the big thick folds that come out of these clothes, and big areas of white space too. its nice. i try my best to form all the folds around the forms of the body i drew earlier. thats one case where i really really have no idea what im doing and could never explain it in words. its just some fun intuitive play with loops and lines. this is at around the stage for a sketch where i'd do inks, or if it was going to be a finished pencil drawing i'd erase out parts piece by piece and replace them with nicer and more defined lines and tones.

i guess that's all i can offer , i hope that halped.

[bkgbkgbkg]

Bf!bakugo headcanons.2

More headcanons/masterlist

- we already know he’s aggressively affectionate as a fact but just to get more in depth abt it😭

- 100% physically grabs u to force u to do anything like hes defo the type to force u to take care of urself LMAO

- its even worse when ur sick and actually need someone to take care of u bc hes so aggressive overboard with the care😭 yes its bc he cares but its a lot💀

- he’ll be a little shit bringing u jugs of water saying u look like a dehydrated rat or feed u a meal bc u said u lost ur appetite from being sick which would in normal standards be cutesy and romantic but he feeds u so aggressively in fat bites u cant fit💀 u yell at him with ur mouth full and he’ll just shove ur jaw up and down and say “CHEW”

- When u need to go to bed but ur stuck scrolling on social media hes defo the type to wrestle u to take ur phone away then secure u in the blanket so ur arms cant move😭

- if he gets extra pissed cus u wont listen to him that u need to be up early the next morning he’ll just shake ur head aggressively telling u to sleep or he’ll force u by suffocating u with a pillow

- bf!bakugo is tiring but his craziness is out of love (hopefully) so its just a bit of fun😭

- hes unfortunately a productive person who sleeps at 8am and wakes up at the ass crack of dawn and his alarms in the morning piss u off and he tells u that u should just sleep earlier then u would wake up at the same time as him

- i feel like ur sleep schedules differ a lot bc his is the same as a fucking grandpas💀 so u always wake up to him already out for work or if hes not working he’ll be wide awake just on his phone but still in bed bc he likes how u smother him in ur sleep w ur hugs😭

- if u both need to be up and u refuse to bc u want more sleep he defo flipping picks u up out of bed and carries u to the kitchen shoving u into a seat and while saying to go eat and start getting ready😭

- whenever hes waiting for u to get to bed (bc ur sleep schedules fucked but he still wants to sleep next to u lol) he’ll start hanging onto u like a flipping koala like if ur watching tv he’ll start dozing off while laying on u while continuously asking u ‘how many more episodes’

- eventually when hes had enough he just steals the remote and turns off the tv then tugs u out of the room into ur bed ignoring ur naggings of how u were enjoying the show😭

- u try to pick up ur phone to continue watching and he just launches it somewhere in the room and says ‘fuck you we’re sleeping idc’

My requests r open for anything u can ask me any specific headcanons for bakugo or any character aswell!! Tysm for reading 🫶🫶

[papabigtoes]

How are you feeling about knubbs

I thought he was FANTASTIC in this movie (you gave me an excuse to draw him from it) !

(very in depth response below)

I love his character and how he acts. The facials of him sassily kicking the breakfast table killed me in a watchparty I had with my friends

And yes, all three of us went “NOOOOO!” when he was engulfed by the explosions.

I will say, as much as I tried to avoid spoilers, his death was spoiled for me in my inbox once the leaks circled around last week. It wasn’t it being spoiled that made me groan - it was the fact they were typed as if the annoying orange grew fingers and wanted to be EXTRA quirky. I am embarassed for the anon because all it made me feel was the same way I feel when I stumble upon a millenial making videos with their dog where they speak in this pseudo-european accent all squeaky. If you ever wanna make me clench my toes in disgust, just send me clips of dogs with bad forced accents all chipmunked. that one audio that goes “IF MONDAYE WAS A VEGGIETABLE, IT WOULD BE A ZZUCHEYENEYE, BECAUSE ITS ZUCHS!” oughhh i will be white knuckling my phone like murderface on twitter when he shits bro

THEN, I saw people on instagram and one had Dick’s face as it was melting from Nathan’s trip. When I saw that image before the movie, I believed either A.) When MF got exorcised Salacia jumped into the closest body and because he wasn’t a demi-god, his body began to legit melt, OR B.) it tied into the fact Crozier hired Knubbler to get info on the band since S1E2. And he was revealing that he wasn’t actually as good-intentioned as the band thought.

The fact he continued to be a wholesome wine aunt and hippie stoner uncle hyrbid to the boys, AND THE FACT CROZIER HAD AN ARC (in my au I have him be like a grumpy grandpa to the boys, and a dad figure to MF so the fuel this film gave me for fan art? BOUNTIFUL) god it was truly a feast

I think I would be more sad if they decided to have the route be that Knubbler was terrified to die. If he was pounding on that shield in a panic, oh that would hurt! He looked so accepting of it, looking at the band with confidence that they’d indeed save the world, was a pretty damn awesome way to go. He went out like a true gear - he feared not his mortality.

I will say, his passing wont cause me to cease drawin’ him and William! I’ll draw him like he died but he got better so he’s ok.

have a lot of dickface stuff I want to include into my fan piece au, and he’ll still be a favorite to draw when it comes to it. Lmk if you want me to draw any knubbler angst with mf and whatnot, because I’ll probably continue with my favorite route with drawing him - the Cheese Route™️.

What do you feel about it, anon? You don’t have to answer back, but I do enjoy Talkin’ Klok and would love to hear your thoughts too!

[drpeppertummy]

ur art makes me wanna draw my own belly doodles!! do u have any advice for drawing bellies :3

oh hell yessss u should !!!!!!! ok i dont really have Much advice but heres what i got off the top of my head (& a lot of it is stuff i gotta work on myself too jghfdjfhg)

someone else (cant remember who😭) posted about this recently & its something i definitely agree with: know where the hips and rib cage are. thats what i pretty much always start with so i can get passable proportions and also start to lay out the pose

play around with different shapes, sizes, weights, etc. small taut bellies, big plush bellies, perfectly round, full of rolls, top-heavy, bottom-heavy, bellies that push out far or bulge at the sides, etc

positioning clothes, limbs, props, etc appropriately around the belly can add a lot of depth to it. think about where a shirt would be pulled taut, where the folds on clothes would fall, the angle an arm would have to be at to rub the belly, etc

think about how soft/firm the belly is. will it squish up against a surface or stay round like a basketball? how deep can a hand press into it? maybe the lower half is softer than the stomach area? much to ponder

sometimes a pose can do a lot for the belly. sometimes a cute outfit can do a lot for the belly. sometimes the context implied by props can do a lot for the belly. think about what you want to emphasize or show off, what you want to suggest about the situation, etc

having a specific situation in mind isnt a necessity, but personally i think it helps. i have an easier time drawing a character if i know whats going on and why, how they feel about it, who they might be with, etc. doesnt have to be all that involved. could just be somethin simple like "they were hungry so they made too much lunch" or "trying to get dressed but their pants wont button"

experiment with lines. clothing folds, belly rolls, lines intended to show stretching or tightness, stretch marks, etc. this can add depth and emphasize the shape or feel of the belly

this is something i Really struggle with: it helps to know how big you want the belly to be. personally i tend to go overboard and make it bigger than i wanted to. just be aware of the size youre going for so you can keep it where you want it to be

look at other belly art and take note of what aspects of it you like. theres much to be learned from watching other artists and seeing what people do differently

& if anyone else has Better advice Please feel free to add !!!!

[iworshipsappho]

misconceptions about yr characters that i have come across, that really piss me off

the fact some believe that simon essentially forced wille to pick between coming out and dating him. THAT WAS NOT THE ENTIRE CASE OMG. the problem wasnt that wille denied it was him, simon totally understood that even if he wasnt exactly happy with their situation, he knew about who wilhelm was from the beginning and what that entailed. it was the fact that wille essentially promised simon that he would do what was best for them and actually hopefully come out, but then denied any and all involvement with simon, even friendly without a semblance of keeping him in the loop. it was that which created the gaping chasm of broken trust and uncertainty between them. simon NEVER forced wille to come out, it was always going to be on wille's terms.

i saw a post that suggested that sara was the one being a dick at marieberg rather than the one being bullied. and oohhhh boy let me tell you how fucking mad it made me. look im not going to infantilize her and brush off all her mistakes with the dumb reasoning of "oh she's neurodivergent." no, i wont be doing that. like any other character she too has nuance and a lot of depth and its always the one dimensional "analyses" that make me want to scream (derogatory). so coming back to my point. seeing people just blatantly call her manipulative and unforgivable without realising how conflicted her character is just sooo ughhh. (i realise that im not really versed in the intricacies of how her character essentially feels and im always open to criticism and adept analyses of any and all characters :3)

posts were people essentially hold simon and/or sara's mistakes to the same level as the CRIMES that august has committed and its just????? what in the even???? like- as i said, not ignoring the nuance here, but literally NOTHING can justify august's actions. he was always going to use that video with malicious intent. it was never going to be some oops teenage boy did a smth stupid when he literally recorded an intimate video of two minors. nothing can morally or legally (ig) defend that-

apologies if this comes off as like insanely aggressive and incoherent or smth bc this is more or less a vent post fhjsghsjgsg :'))

ANYWAYS yeah

[twistedastrology]

🌊my take on neptune🌊

---------------------------------------------------------

LOOK at that gorgeous fucking planet man-

i wanna start this with a little tiny disclaimer that my take on neptune is very different from the usual and kinda flips a lot of shit on its head so my bad if this makes no sense to u but i wouldn't be uranus ruled if i didnt do shit crazy different would i 💔💔

THAT BEING SAID!!!!!! LETS GET INTO IT BABEY!!!!

let's start with what I'm dismantling-

in modern astrology, neptune is often considered the higher octave of venus and is known as the planet of spirituality or higher love. ive seen a lot of ppl say that neptune is associated with hollywood, which makes no fucking sense to me but whatever yknow to each their own-

neptune is also known as the ruler of pisces, and is exalted in cancer, the sign the moon rules.

I am about to flip a Whole fuckton on its head here so strap in and give me ur brain for a second 💔💔

neptune, the god, is the roman counterpart to poseidon, and poseidon rules over the sea, storms and earthquakes- generally very chaotic stuff-

poseidon's egyptian equivalent would be Seth, or Set. Seth was the god of chaos, storms, earthquakes, generally very chaotic stuff again.

Seth was also a trickster and, in egyptian mythology, overall kind of an asshole (since he literally chopped up Osiris into like a billion pieces and then scattered him across the earth so- idk kind of a dick move ngl)

but that's what he did!! that was his thing!!! he was the god of chaos!!!! gods of chaos are gonna be kinda assholes!!!!

But what does this mean for neptune- well this means that Neptune would be Seth (and neptune is known for it's deceptive qualities)

now keep that in ur brain as i go off on another tangent that will eventually circle back around to this one-

another proposal i have that may be shocking is that to me, Neptune is the one that rules Cancer, and the moon is the one that rules Pisces.

stay with me here hold on hear me out 💔

since ive been quite literally twisting the fuck out of astrology in my head and debunking cancer myth after cancer myth, I've come to find that cancers are a much more volatile sign than we give them credit for- or at least Can be-

they're not crybabies by any sense of the imagination, and like i said in my post abt cancers and rage, they feel anger more heavily than anything. they can also be very chaotic because they're cardinal water (think tsunamis).

now they're not all bad, dont think im tryna paint em as villains dawg i am literally a cancer rising/mars- but they have a distinct dark side to them that is Not to be fucked with.

cancers are often considered the "mothers" of the zodiac, but that has been watered down to "they're good with kids and probably want kids"- when cancers were Initially considered the mothers of the zodiac, they were talking abt cancers are the Guardians of the Zodiac.

not the galaxy-

now i will say, if a cancer has children, they will be VERY protective of them, but not in a helicopter-y way. more like in a "if you say something bad about their children or threaten to harm their children in any way, they will most likely punch you in the face and knock you out."

they wont bitch at you or be polite about it, they will probably break your face- BREAK YOUR FUCKIN FACE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!

now, where do cancers get that rage from? who around here borders on being or Is a god of chaos in the zodiac................. seth.

neptune is a much darker, more volatile planet than we give it credit for, just like cancers can be the same- But at the same time, they can both be very pleasant entities-

cancers can easily be some of the nicest people you've ever met, they're incredibly loyal and would probably go to war for you if you meant a lot to them, and they can be VERY and often times Are creative and artistic in some way.

neptune can be a very rewarding planet to work with, it can be incredibly creative because of the depth it represents, and it can put you and guide you on your path to and through spirituality.

neptune ruling cardinal water makes much more sense in this light than it ruling mutable water in my opinion. a planet as potentially volatile as neptune would NOT be mutable.

all of this also comes partially from my slightly different idea of what higher octaves really are- ive seen people say they're the "large scale influence" planets, but i think they're quite literally just the more powerful versions of the planets they're the higher octaves of (so they can and do affect the large scale, but that's not ALL they are).

so the moon in this case would deal with our conscious emotions, our humanity, that level of stuff- which makes more sense for pisces in my opinion- the moon would be more along the lines of the emotions we Think we should feel (mutable) and therefore do- the moon is how we may have Learned to feel, among many other things.

whereas neptune is our deep, inner self. our subconscious emotions, the feelings that penetrate our very soul. neptune is our shadow self, but it's also our higher self. just as the moon has a dark side, neptune has one too, but neptune's dark side is infinitely more painful.

this role switch also makes much more sense at least in my chart, because when looking at the moon as being my chart ruler, my co-ascendant would be pisces, which never made any sense to me- so i chalked it up to "oh well my moon is 1° pisces so it's basically aquarius i guess" which DID make sense

but my moon is still in pisces. My neptune, however, is firmly in aquarius, which explains perfectly why i feel so much more aquarius coded than anything else.

im also like 99% outer planet ruled, mercury being the only inner planet that dominates my chart- my most active planets are mercury, saturn, uranus, neptune and pluto 😮‍💨

HOWVEVEVR!!!!!!

i wanna say that whenever i switch everything up like this, i still find value in normal astrology and often combine it with my twisted version to get the most accuracy possible- so while my neptune and uranus are in mutual reception (aquarius/pisces) but i believe that neptune rules cancer, i still feel that mutual reception but i also still feel the neptune/cancer influence, especially since my ascendant literally starts in the neptune decan of cancer.

and this makes my chart make a lot more sense in terms of neptune too-

if this makes absolutely no fucking sense at all to you then that's fine!!! this is just my personal view on neptune and i honestly still associate a lot of My View of neptune's traits with the moon, which is why i incorporate a multitude of different perspectives into how i interpret everything and it gives me accurate meanings so i see no problem with it-

once it stops being accurate, then there's a problem, but we're not there yet so it's ok 🙏🙏

ultimately u can kinda just take this as food for thought if nothing else!! and if u read this far into my yapping session, god bless fr 😮‍💨 (i am not religious. HAHAHHAA)

[nanistar]

hi, im a new reader!! rediscovered a bookmark i had made and read thru the entire thing today, and im obsessed!!! the worldbuilding (and lore!) is my favorite part of it. do u have any advice or tips on developing fanclans with that much depth?

hi! thank you :)

a lot of the SBC lore comes from the setting itself . its easy to fall into warriors cliches when your setting is just a forest so i suggest taking it and putting it somewhere unique to you. i also have fanclans that are local to me in Washington state becuse i have a lot of love for the area and with them and with the mojave clans i can put a lot of that love and appreciation for those two biomes into my worldbuilding and story. additionally, a looooot of sbc lore came from after i started working on the comic itself and needed to fill in gaps in the story. there's nothing wrong with coming up with something on the spot, because a lot of the time i wont even consider something until someone brings it up and asks me a question, and then i can go oh, this is what the do, or whatever. i suggest sharing your world with your friends and asking them if they have any questions about the characters or the world, because then you can work on both at the same time

[chevys-bitch-fest]

Lesser known effects of Testosterone:

Just wanted to make a post for all my transmascs out there. I didn't have a great doctor when I started T, and I was very isolated from other queer people. For reference, Ive been on T injections for 9 months, on 25mg weekly (which is a low dose)

Most people know that your clit will grow while you're on T. I wanted to explain it in more depth because there's more to it than just that. Your clit can start growing as early as 2 months on T, and on average it'll grow 2-3 inches after 2 years of HRT. You will probably be able to get a mini erection. And for me personally, I found that the internal part of my clit would swell up when aroused. (Aka it might look like your lips are swolen, this is normal) Its also important to clean under the hood of your clit, because as time goes on it collects sweat/ toilet paper. Ive found the best method is to sit on the toilet, pull back the hood (or foreskin as I like to call it), and run a wet q tip over it. Be gentle because its sensitive af.

Your Vagina may be more dry than usual. If you experience pain durring penitrative sex, try using lube, or spending more time on foreplay. You can also use dialator dildos or take supplements. If pain persists, please talk to a doctor.

Your period probably wont just gracefully come to a stop (i know, I was disappointed too) you might think its gone, then 3 months later its back. I also had a light period that lasted for 3 weeks. As long as you're not experiencing profuse bleeding or extreme pain, its ok to just ride it out. It takes a minute for your body to get used to new hormones.

You're probably going to want to masturbate a lot. Its ok. No shame dude, T hits you hard on that front.

Your breasts will flatten out a bit. I went from a C to a B arround 6 months. Unfortunately they won't dissappear completely, but it sure as hell makes binding easier.

Ass crack hair. Imma just leave it at that.

Well, I hope this was helpful! Im really proud of all my transmascs out there. I know its scary sometimes, but yall are doing great. Also if anybody has trans questions or just wants to talk, my dms are always open! 💜

[aropride]

thinking about therapy again bc i knowww i need to be in it. but i think one of my inarguable needs in a therapist is that they see me as an equal? i guess is the best way to put it. and thats not really something you can Ask it's more of a vibes based thing. but like. i hate playing stupid with doctors psychiatrists therapists etc i want to be like This is what im experiencing These are the resources ive looked into This is what i think is going on. where do we go from here. and like i know a fair amount about psychology and i dont want to have to pretend i dont. or for them to assume i dont. and like id look into peer support and stuff but i feel like thats more short term and less intensive than id need to unpack my childhood stuff. Oh i completely forgot to post and also finish typing this. anyway idk like what are even the chances of finding a provider in my area, who takes my insurance and is willing to work with me abt the copay, whose main modality isnt cbt, whos experienced in cptsd/dissociative disorders, and also who i click with as a person. idk. it feels completely hopeless lol and i know its not but like. maybe im fine rn like maybe i dont even need therapy really (least fine guy youve ever met voice)

but the other problem is i also need like, a social worker who isnt school-related and extremely overworked (god bless her tho omg) bc i need a lot of help getting like, case management and applying for disability etc. and just normal therapy isnt gonna help me when i also need those things. but i feel like most long term therapists arent also social workers and vice versa

and i dont even know what modality would be helpful for me. i know dbt WAS when i was younger, but now i know like. the basics, ive learned the coping skills etc. so idk if it would still be helpful? and i know like, somatic focused therapy or whatever would probably be helpful, because actually understanding what my body was doing and why and how that effects my mental health has been really helpful in the past. but also i feel like a lot of somatic therapists are... whats a nice way to say this. like a lot of the ppl ive seen either on like psychologytoday etc or on instagram reels are. the type of guy to buy dreamcatchers on shein and use cherrypicked parts of other cultures without understanding their cultural context. and, like, try to cure my dissociative disorder with reiki or something. Sorry im thinking abt the therapist i had in early 2020 now

idk i just dont really know what to look into even. bc ive heard good stuff from a friend abt emdr but im skeptical of emdr like, casually. like i havent tried it and i dont know a huge amount about it, but on the surface it kinda sounds like bullshit- yeah just look between these lights and think about stuff and thatll fix you. but i also understand how repetitive movement can be calming (#autism) and it makes sense that being exposed to those memories and also in a safe place would be helpful? and i like that u dont have to talk abt the traumas in depth out loud. but i also feel like thats more for single-event traumas or at least trauma that u like, remember

and i feel like being able to talk out loud abt stuff would help me. like having another person to bounce my thoughts off of whos not like. a friend. and is able to deal w that kind of thing. and is also paid to do so. And can also help me like. recognize when im being insane. but also Wont assume im being insane and that all my thoughts are fucking cognitive distortions

idk its just exhausting trying to figure out What i even want from therapy other than to Feel Better and stop losing entire months of my life sometimes and to be able to like. make phone calls and talk to people and not feel evil and insane all the time. and to be able to live away from my parents and have a life, whether that involves Employment or not. one of my short-term goals in therapy w a long term therapist would explicitly be to decide my long term goals and how i'll know i met them. bc i think talking abt the therapeutic relationship w my therapist up front is something that would benefit me. due to the avoidance.

idk. wgat everrrr.