#so like idk. but i also dont talk much so thats less helpful than u might think
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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chin hair only thing local man likes about himself, mom constantly mentions he should shave it and he says he will later. he is mostly lying.
#sometimes i get scared abt it cos the more obvious it is the more clocky i am#and im already accidentally clocky just by like#well people dont like fat people for one and project things onto me#but for another i think unconciously the way i carry myself and dress makes ppl uncomf#being visably disabled makes them uncomf#people stare at me like theyre scared#ppl wont go in the bathroom if im in there#yanno. lots of things always happening#i feel a lot less safe than i used to#i used to keep my hair so short and i dont mind long hair#but it is kind of my plausible deniability these days#if i speak at my normal like register and depth ppl are like confused sometimes#have to make my voice higher#its already really soft when im out cos im scared of everyone#so like idk. but i also dont talk much so thats less helpful than u might think#idk no one 3ants to hear abt hiding ur transness#obviously ppl want me to be happy and like myself and my gender presentation#and just be myself in public#but i just. its not pratical for me#and its not like ill be able to actually medically transition anytime soon#so might as well lean into living as a woman as much as i van without getting too miserable#im so scared of things happening in this country and the part i libe in#and its just like. yeah this is depressing but my home isnt even safe for me to be trans in#so what else am i gonna do
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Do you think CJ and Raph ever talk about their experiences with PTSD/anxiety together or even share advice on coping? Or do you think Raph would rather not? Explain your reasoning in your essay below
(i typed an entire novel and then accidentally closed chrome and it deleted everything let me try doing this again i barely remember what i said ok so. also this is just me blabbering idk guys im not a rise writer im just some opinionated guy online and you can completely disagree with me and i dont say what goes or not ok? ok!)
i dont think raph would go to him with his issues but i think it'd defo get talked about through asking CJ about things and checking up on him etc. and i think CJ would give raph alot of insight and advice on how to deal with anxieties and traumas,, tho alot of their convos would just be one of them saying something vile and the other one going "oh. is that not normal?" and the first one looking at the latter like this
but all in all i think they'd definitely help eachother with dealing with stuff... i think especially raph will assist CJ in just taking the blow on how much there is to unpack... his entire life has been a big traumatic event, i imagine suddenly living a sustained life without having to fight for survival every day would be a lot for him to deal with, especially the confusion and grief over what he has lost (maybe what he has lost feels a bit like pointless grief to him now? which is a trauma in itself) and also grieving what he never had. as we know, grief is also things we shouldve had but never got, and i think all the hamatos would be really helpful in dealing with that.
tho CJ seems to be a bit of a hardass on stuff like this which is incredibly understandable when you've had to fight for everything with zero stability at all anywhere you went. i could see him confiding in raph about it, but not only him if im honest. but there is an undeniable security about raph i think that the characters i the show feel, and i think CJ would seek the stability and consistent reliability that raph provides.
i also like that CJ doesnt seem too scared about calling out people when they do wrong, i can defo see CJ bluntly telling raph that bad coping mechanisms is stupid and makes things worse and worries everyone around. (this is ofc hand in hand with the good ol' HC that raph bottles shit up/avoids talking abt things. personally i think he never shuts up and frequently rants about stuff and lets his family know whenever shit is up but he avoids going too deep so his family thinks he's being fully transparent when actually he's just not voicing the worst shit. this is so real to me no i do not need therapy shut u)
i definitely think raph would confide in CJ about the krang thing. CJ is the one who knows the most about it, i can see raph going to him to just get a bit more information about what was going on, and also a bit of relief hearing that it didnt go as bad as it couldve gone... CJ being experienced with krangification would absolutely soothe worries and make him feel less alone about knowing what he knows and having gone through something thats a step further than his brothers
IS THIS A GOOD ENOUGH ESSAY i have academic anxiety dont grade me please its 4am i have taken melatonin pills im on my last leg help m *ficking dies*
edit: GOODNIGHT LOL
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hi do you want to talk abt isaac.
basically i'm writing a cbs ghosts fic with a focus on some original characters but with a lot of nisaac and plenty of the entire cast in general
it'll have a lot of isaac's pov as well, with his thoughts about two people who can be openly queer in the modern era
but. since ive only watched like,, probably less than half of the show. i thought talking to someone else abt it could help me characterise everyone?? i also just want to talk abt it bc it's kind of a fixation right now haha
no pressure though!! hope you have a nice day
AAAAA yes please i would love to talk about my son hehdhd
let me list out some timelines pre-death first :3
isaac's marriage to beatrice: before or during 1773 the american revolutionary war: 1775-1783 nigel's death: 1776 isaac's death: 1777
so since the start of season 1, despite isaac's efforts we could all still see the fact he does not find women attractive (he literally called his wife, beatrice a handsome woman) so we're thinking bad comphet for our guy here.
(this only applies pre-nisaac) there are five male ghosts of the main cast, so when they all collectively agree that one girl is attractive (maybe not pete), isaac naturally plays along with it, but. plays along badly. everyone could tell that he did not find that girl attractive
as during nisaac, he is still obviously hesitant to be open because he had never been in a relationship with another man. a homosexual relationship. but not only is he hesitant, he is scared.
why is he scared? take a guess of what punishment you'd get for being gay in the 1770s (especially 1776).
the death penalty.
and we all know our guy isaac likes to talk about himself, he was so heavily disappointed to see that all he was in history was a footnote, and how he was jealous that his rival, hamilton, got a whole MUSICAL made about him (isaac loves musical theatre so thats twice the angy) so it's reasonable for him to be scared of death.
but hes already dead, why still be scared?
i actually dont know why but it's probably muscle memory for isaac to pretend. maybe he only found out that queerness was legalized/modernized through sam, not even through the recently dead ones. gotta hand it to him though i cant keep up a facade for more than a century XD
anyway, him being hesitant isn't the only problem, it's also the way he handles his relationship with nigel. his only other serious relationship was with a woman he wasn't even romantically interested in, so he has no healthy base to rely his current relationship with. also, his god-forsaken terrible communication skills, bros been pretending so much that even his personal feelings should be hidden 😭🙏 who hurt u man?
honestly his poo communication skills can still be linked back to his marriage with beatrice. maybe he had no problem with her, therefore no feelings were required to be shared, and he didn't have the need to communicate. but with nigel is a whole different situation.
oh yeah speaking of nigel, like isaac he doesn't have a healthy basis for a relationship. in this case, he previously was in a homosexual relationship, but it was only a sexual (?) one (with jenkins, but idk about the sexual part so jenkins fans back me up 🙏🙏).
we do see in the series that isaac is taking baby steps in the relationship, as opposed to nigel who rushes the starting-to-adjust stage, because this isn't his first gay relationship (whos gonna tell him) which then results to isaac having certain feelings about it, which then results to isaac not communicating as to pretend he can manage their relationship.
one thing about isaac's "certain feelings", it's usually about little things not even serious stuff. he had gone on many respites (temporary break up) with nigel because of their political beliefs (TGE WAR FUCKING ENDED GET OVER IT), hobbies, and personal likes. instead of adjusting to each other, they still choose to follow what they want instead of each other's wishes.
so, TLDR; nigel and isaac, despite having been in previous relationships, are doodoo at expressing themselves and adjusting to one another. (boo)
if you'd like the characterization of the other ghosts/sam and jay, my askbox is open at all times!! :3
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another thing is like... under capitalism, business success and wealth begin to alienate you from others who don't have that. and that alienation can feed into greed, like why not keep investing and making business deals and buying expensive stuff? and no one around is really going to call you out because they are either capitalist hacks or maybe people who once struggled who now rely on you.
so like, I don't inherently expect much from creators like dnp who come into money. even though they probably have more financial freedom than many other creators because of all the tours, books, games, etc (because they are good at business!)
so like, as their fans who ultimately are their consumers, I think it's good to call them out, especially because they have shown before that they have good intentions.
am I expecting much from them? no. wealth can be corrupting and speaking out comes with risk to business/career interests. but they have a special relationship with their audience, as we're mostly all fellow queer and neurodivergent people with similar interests. so we can provide feedback and be the ones to try to ground them and be like "hey that wasn't cool please do better." stopping engagement with them and their content entirely doesn't really do anything to help, unless they did something they needed to absolutely be deplatformed for. stopping engagement is a valid personal choice, but when I see stuff that begins to resemble like 'they aren't being activists right now time for everyone to unstan' I'm like... if that makes you feel better, fine, but I would rather parasocially / affectionately be like "hey I expect more from you!" in a way that is constructive. which is something I would want to do with my friends, but the difference is, if my friends didn't change or try to then I probably would distance myself from them. Whereas Dan and Phil are entertainers we don't now irl, we have a different relationship with them. but compared to many other creators, they really do tend to be more sensitive to their audience (which has helped their success).
but so this time the (mostly leftist) phannies calling them out actually got them to do a fundraiser so that's cool! even if it's because of the backlash like, that's what the point of backlash is! we should want people to change behavior. not to just abstractly punish them, for something they could be unlikely to do without pressure. though hopefully it will lead to less instances of having to pressure them.
idk this brings up interesting stuff about parasocial relationships, the transactions between creators and their audience, and capitalism. so of course I had to rant about it for a sec lol.
thats completely true! thank u for the rant lol but yeah i dont want to come across as being like, NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FAV CREATORS it was more like, with dnp specifically we know where their heart is i guess so it can be unnecessary to call for whatever. BUT you're absolutely right in that they probably wouldn't have done a charity stream were it not for pressure from fans. and maybe this is ME being parasocial but i'd like to think that this isn't for damage control or performativism (i mean it is a LITTLE cuz any publicity is a little bit abt looking good) but rather like, putting their money where their mouth is basically! and showing to their core audience like hey we care about this thing too and we fully hear you.
i was thinking about this General concept wrt dnp because i think there have been other moments where dnp were called out about something or criticized for like their more offensive humor and they stopped doing that and educated themselves which is better than most creators who put up fakeass apology videos. ive seen a lot of ppl say they want dan to talk about and apologize for his racist and sexist humor (and honestly only asking dan but not bringing up that phil also had his share of racist jokes) but it's like. at this point what further could he say? he's not a 21 year old shit head anymore (and yeah good for you for being a socially aware 21 y/o in 2024 but that offensive humor literally was just the culture of that time period) and they both have SHOWN that they have grown and even talked about it in like the pinof react video where they talked about "yeah we bullied kristen stewart a lot cuz it was just popular to make fun of her and justin bieber and that really sucks that we did that" like they have changed and shown change! they do not need to make a grand apology statement cuz like if you wanna talk performativism then lets talk about the fakeness of basically every apology video on the internet????
sorry thats unrelated to what u were talking abt but it just made me start thinking BUT YEAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT TAKES!!!!
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HAIII ITS ME THE ANON!! im ngl i genuinely gasped when i read your rentry and saw tsh and yttd in the same line like those two are such mismatched interests i never expected to see anyone else like them both 😭😭😭
I GET YOUR ATTACHMENT TO SHIN BRO. Also based on your yttd faves i have a feeling you went thru all the stages of grief with the bio-siblings revelation…… idk just a feeling hehe. NO BUT YTTD MAKING IT SO ONLY ONE SIBLING GETS TO LIVE WAS SO??!???? i never emotionally recovered from that . regarding my yttd fav i’d say its shin but it has been so long since i played the game i barely know his character anymore ;;;;; lowkey i also fw almost all the floor masters. midori/sou was my bunny corcoran back in the day (in the sense that theyre both problematic-ish characters that the fandom hates but i enjoy their character guiltily)
and for my tsh faves oooh boy… as u can see by my username… richard and bunny are so deeply personal to me . theyre not favorites in the “i love them ❤️ my scrunklies” way but in the “I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM” way. like i am fully aware they are horrible people but as characters??? Theyre written so well to the point i cant help but think about them every second daily
beware of the shin tsukimi to richard papen pipeline!!!! this may be reaching and i fear im mischaracterizing shin (you are free to correct me on this. let out the inner shin fan out) but if you squint real hard….. theyre both liars who pretend to be someone theyre not and theyre also both pathetic losers (i say this very affectionately) who are just trying to survive (what is richard even surviving from. he is nawt in a majority vote death game)
i have yapped too much i apologize </3 i appreciate you defending bunny from the allegations actually we need more bunny defenders in the fandom (and less francis fans.. cough) . i dont have any specific questions about yttd bc my memory of that game has gotten foggy sadly but we could always talk about yttd to jog up my memory of it !!!
NAURRR DONT BRING UP 2-2 im gonna be honest w u i have played yttd a total of 7 times (this is so embarrassing i want to crawl into a hole and never come out) and 2-2 has never once failed to devastate i cannot express just how badly it affected me. last time i played was over a year and a half ago im trying to forget as much about it as i can so i can replay the whole thing w fresh eyes when 3-2 comes out but i doubt thats gonna be possible since i fear the only person in the world who knows yttd better than me is nankidai himself. I promise ur jaw would have dropped to the floor if u had met me 1-3 years earlier i cant stress how bad the obsession was, theres a couple of people who follow me here who knew me then who can testify😭 it was actually bonkers i ate slept and breathed yttd
I CANT STAND THE FLOORMASTERS BROO i heavily fw rio ranger and safalin BUT THE REST? BOOOO midori actually makes me sooo fucking violent sorry hes by far my least favorite😭 i can see why u like him trustt i just have a vendetta against him
AND I KNOW WHAT U MEAN ESP W BUNNY bro won me over im not sorry. Yes hes awful yes he would borderline hate crime me but i stand with bunny what can i say
#asks#yttd#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#midori yttd#sou hiyori#shin yttd#shin tsukimi#kanna kizuchi#yttd floormasters#rio ranger#tia safalin#the secret history#tsh#bunny corcoran#donna tartt
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favourite less common mlp ship? also if you want to rant about them please do!!!!
ooh this is a tuff one bc i dont have a FAVORITE favorite per say. but there are a couple i do enjoy!
soarburn: ok so i actually wrote a fic on this! Ik theres absolutely no basis for this in or outside of the show, but part of what makes it so fun is imagining all the interactions they COULD have. I mean, think about it, Braeburn's super extroverted, charming, and hospitable; Soarin's an accomplished athlete, plus hes friendly and simplistic--kind of reminds me of their female counterpart (appledash). Like guys imagine Soarin in his suit and Braeburn ~flirting~ w him.. ouhhh imagine their banter !!
lunajack: ok ive actually seen some rlly good takes that got me on this ship! If i didnt hc Luna as aroace it'd 1000% be one of my top ships of all time. They could have such a good princess x pauper dynamic, a high society royal x simpleton farmer union. Plus like others have said, Applejack is one of the most people ponies ever and has this inherent, idk kindness?? and Luna meanwhile has this huge distance from others because of her years of exile, her particular role as a princess, and all of the walls shes built up from the guilt of nightmare moon. She was one of the first ponies to try and connect to luna in the most welcoming way possible despite her aura that one time she visited ponyville. Hell even luna called her "fair Applejack" at some point😭 like u cannot tell me aj's heart didnt at LEAST skip a beat😭. imagine being a farmgirl just hangin out in a scarecrow fit on nightmare night and the literal goddess of the moon calls you "fair" in return for some of your help, im weakkhjghfhgjfg
sugarmacbra: So actually im (sort of) writing a fic on this. The only reason it exists is bc i recently found out big mac is canonically bi and polyamorous (at least according to his VA), and im a sucker for a good polycule. That added with sugarmac (which i adore) and the fact that King Sombra is literally also bi, i was like, hey, what if we combined these elements, right?? Anyways, im not so much a fan of the dynamic that exists so far as i am of the idea of big mac in the most bisexual polycule ever, but who knows? maybe ill continue the fic and create the most life-changing heart-wrenching three-way pony love story
Cadance x Shining Armor x King Sombra (their ship names suck😭): Speaking of polycules, this one has a lot of potential. Sure, shining Armor is the straightest guy alive, but if we could pretend hes bisexual for a minute, i think him and Sombra in particular could have a LOT of chemistry. Plus given how hes basically smitten w his wife, i love the idea of him being in love w BOTH of them, like, more love for the golden retriever himbo !! Ik its not a super fleshed out especially on cadance's end, but the potential is there. Also, this ship has nothing to do w *that* ao3 fic (and if u dont know what im talking about i promise u dont need to see it. its gross).
somburn: I think we can all agree on braeburn giving massive fruit vibes, plus his overall personality. I was actually really inspired by this one post. I kind of need this to be real now. I love the idea of this evil fuckin guy having a sweet spot for plain ol Braeburn, who in contrast chooses not to see sombra as an evil threat but instead a smexy hot hunk. And to top it off, he "tames" Sombra/Sombra sort of changes for the better to be w him? Honestly its so cute.
anddd thats all i can think of atm lol. this took me way longer than i expected to answer
#just realized king sombra made it into 3 of these lol#bro is Popular w the fellas and ladies#mlp fim#soarin#braeburn#princess luna#applejack#sugar belle#big mac#king sombra#princess cadance#shining armor#asks#text post
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Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts
Was abt time I did one of these.
Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.
I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)
I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.
I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)
- -🌄-📀-🌙- -💚- -💛- -✨-🌄-✨- -💛- -💚- -🌙-📀-🌄- -
I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)
I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)
I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...
Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!
- -💥-🐺-🌙- -❤️- -💛- -✨-💥-✨- -💛- -❤️- -🌙-🐺-💥- -
DNI prefferably:
- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)
- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.
- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.
- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much
CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj
- -🪸-🐸-🌙- -💙- -🩵- -✨-🪸-✨- -🩵- -💙- -🌙-🐸-🪸- -
"Disclaimer"
- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref
- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.
- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.
- -🌸-⛰️-🌙- -💚- -💙- -✨-🌸-✨- -💙- -💚- -🌙-⛰️-🌸- -
Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)
Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny <3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)
Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3
New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)
That's it folks, love yall and see you around!
#intro post#introduction#c!pearl irl#sammy emily irl#delusional attachment#fictionkin#fictkin#fnaf irl#life series irl#empires irl#mcyt fictkin#mcyt fictionkin#mcyt kin#system friendly#endos dni#mcyt irl
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Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Omg i havee SOOO much to tell and ask you its both sad and fun stuff, First off i wanna tell you that you are such an amazing person like seriously omggg how do u even exist like you must not be allowed away from heaven. Btw random: i heard u mention abt u in university so hows that going and whats ur majorr???? :)) And now the very very bad stuff: i messed up. not very uncommon you see, but very bad. my cousin whom i rllyyy love shes amazing shes like the andromeda to my sirius. nd my dad's side is very cruel to my mom before i ws born and they also shamed her for having a kid (my sis) that has problems (they refuse to tell me what it is but she has 2 problems idk the first one she has since birth and the second is that she had um.. men parts but when she was around 4/5 we founf out shes.. female? im a minor i rlly dont undersrand how ths works so..yeah. shes 8 now btw this year shes gonna be 9 y/o) basically very cruel people very very bad and so my cousin, whos from my dad's side, she came for like a sleepover thingy and my father commented on my mom's side and how they arent close to me even though they are my basucaly everything.. and in reply, i said how i like them and they are good and i said "my mums side is great... better than father side atlst" and she said "i can hear u yk" and i said that shes a excpetiion but when she wnt home she really felt upset and she had an exam but she stll didnt come to my house (my house is closer to her school so she stays here in exam time so it takes less tme in travelling) so my father cmpletly blamed me and now im so upset idek what to do i dont wanna apologize to her cz she doesnt know that i know that she said shes upset. my father confronted me about it and he got to jknow from my cousins mom so there was no direct contact but basically yeah thats it. i need help in what i should do to fix things again :( but this is the reason that simply talking wouldnt work and its rlly hard :( btw random: how do i start my microfic thing like do i just upoad a micfic or do i post smgthn else first if ykwim? another thing:
yeah idk but i think m bisexual and i have a bestfriend shes straight and supports lgbtq+ community but i rlly like her and cz were besties i dont wnanna ruin anything at all and im cool with how we r rn but at the same time i want more ykwim? and.. were like the touchy-feely kinda bestfriends so we hold hands n stuff as a joke nd people ship us and its so asdxdfgkhljhxx idek if i rlly like her as a frnd or i like her as in like like her.. but i also have a crush on a boy but it only lasts for 2 secs but when i see him again i start to thibk i like him again but my other rlly gud friend likes him so is it that i like hm and ignore my feelings js cs my frnd liks him or do i just like him as frnds,, idek were close we play games togheter n stuff but thtas about it..
also have i mentioned how much of an angel you are??? i literally scream and jump off a cliff casually when u reply to my texts <333 ilysm ur such a great person <333
xoxo, sweet potato <33
hi!
Aww you're so sweet! I'm not in university anymore, at least not in the traditional sense: I'm working on my master's degree. It's going.....not terrible lol. I'm majoring in ESL Education (English as a Second Language).
For your first question: I think this is a really good example of how talking through other people isn't the best solution. Do you have any way of getting in contact with your cousin directly? Because things are definitely going to be changed and exaggerated if you are talking through your aunt and dad. Once you talk to her, be truthful. Be sincere and tell her how important she is to you. I'm betting she'll come around.
For microfics: Nope, just go for it! You don't have to do anything beforehand, just start! I can't wait to see what you write!
For the last part: First, are you sure you friend is straight? If she definitely is, then yeah, it might not be worth it to say anything? But I mean, you could always try bringing it up casually. Like "Oh, I think you're really pretty!" and see what happens?
With the guy- I know it sounds cliche, but if your friend likes him, stay away. I've been there. I've seen friendships fall apart. It's not worth it, especially since you're not even sure of your feelings. I know I probably sound like a parent, here, but there was a full-on FEUD I experienced in eighth grade because two people were fighting over a guy and....yeah.
Thank you so much for the compliments, you're so nice!! <3 I hope you have a great day!
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COLLEGE BAND AU HEADCANONS
Legato x gn reader
It was pretty rude of me to just randomly put an au fic without explanation so heres the explanation bye still self indulgent; always will be i fear
more utc
- OK FIRST ABOUT HIM. He works for knives still but in this au his job is to cause vash suffering by 😭😭… outselling him??? Ridonkulous ik but go with it
- Knives wants him to outsell vash so vash realizes that art and human creativity is obsolete and instead help him run his tech/AI company that also focuses on helping global warming (humans suck they should die. robots go!)
- Hes apart of a band to rival Vash’s and ofc its the Gung Ho Guns; he hired them to play for him
- Tbh i think their genre isnt set in stone bc theyre purely doing this to outsell vash so I think theyd keep the core of it rock or indie but it has a lot of shifting gears, doing wtv gets the most traction
- Legato is the bassist but he knows keyboard if their keyboardist is absent
- I think legato writes most of the songs himself (to impress knives ofc this is still HIS mission afterall) and gets a lil sad and defensive if it flops LMFAO even if its just his first album; considering how Knives talked down on music Legato thought it’d be somewhat easy
- It DEFINITELY took him a while to write things that had some semblance of humanity in it tbh he had to have either another less emotionally stunted member write it or a ghost writer but he did still practice writing in his spare time since he had nothing better to do
- NOW ABOUT YALL. Ur roommates in a college dorm; if it were up to him he’d have an apartment but knives wanted him to keep an eye on vash and vash lives on campus
- He only has like one or two official rules as roommates but if ur pissing him off with sth thats not on the list he WILL let u lnow LOL
- The only rules established off rip are:
1. MYOB
2. Do not touch him (no tolerance rule if u touch him without permission he WILL be out of there asap even if its a lot of trouble and will probably even idk push u or sth ignore u forever, hope and pray on ur downfall idk its hard to translate his violent tendencies to modern society without getting him arrested ok)
- You often eat together when he isnt busy tbh usually in silence but its ok its comfortable silence (to him at least)
- Ok im gonna try to say this in the least creepy way possible but like. He likes to observe you for inspiration HEAR ME OUT. Just seeing u go about ur day and since hes always in first person POV seeing someone else just… live gives him immense inspiration on what to write
- He also gets inspo from other artists and heres where u come in hehe. You are a solo artist who doesn’t show your face and your speaking voice is pretty much completely different from ur singing voice (Not like insanely different but if you heard the two separately you wouldnt really connect the dots unless ur one of those people who connect voices easily + depending on ur genre u could be using a completely different tone of voice than usual)
- Your genre is a little similar to Legato’s in the fact that although you keep your core component (Love theme IMO but hey i dont make the rules yes i doo) you change around the other moving parts such as the instruments or wtv so he listens to your music often though he never really thought it would be you; just never really thought about the possibility
- Im not gonna say hes like obsessed with your artist persona or anything but he does (as much as he would rather khs than admit it since according to Knives music is the bane of this world) greatly enjoy your music and often finds himself getting your songs stuck in his head
- Hes def a gatekeeper i mean this is the guy who can name every song in ur discography (Not saying much though since you dont post too often)
- ANYWAY u have no idea this is going on since hes prone to just listening to music in his headphones rather than showing you or blasting it for the world to hear so ur relationship is developing as normal roommates
- You often get him stuff from the college snack shack and in return he often gives u whatever he doesnt want from the dining hall (that sounds crappy but its usually good stuff like ur fave fruit or cheese and crackers or sth)
- After u become a bit closer going on trips together becomes common not like vacation but like a little drive to a department store or him taking you with him to practice/performances
- SPEAKING OF PRACTICE U work part time at a coffee shop and it has a practice room which is where he usually brings his band it sounds random but I’ve encountered a coffee place like this before ok
- Killing two birds with one stone, he gets to see you on his way in and out and he gets a quiet place to practice + Vash often brings his band here too so ig killing two birds and one afterthought with one stone
- Other GHGs (NOT greenhouse gasses. Gung ho guns) think that ur another one of his groupies probably 💀 he def has tons i fear
- He def writes songs about you or rather than about you, references how u make him feel but he is in denial and thinks feelings are embarrassing so hes just like no they just gave me inspiration
- Its ok though the only one he has to justify himself to is himself bc hes like. The only one who knows its about u since his songs are never rlly about romance and in the rare cases that they are its very subtle
- When, if ever, he feels ready for touch he frames it like hes doing u a favor lmao “I will allow you to (blank)” he is tbh
Random Misc:
- Hes majoring in Ecology or Conservation Biology prob minoring in sth like computer science (his entire life surrounds Knives what did u expect)
- Sleeps in his daytime clothes and ur always like ???? Esp bc he wears jeans often… U two went to the department store one time and u convinced him to let u buy him pajamas so he could wash the day clothes overnight
- Hes a big ass fan of vinyls and cds and just physical ways of owning things like music or games but wont admit to himself he likes it its just for the aesthetic ok even though he has a record and cd player
- Wants to cut ur hair and feels like its one of the most intimate things u could do without having to touch too much (forever subscribed to knives cut his hair hc)
- If u have a lot of accessories and generally just a lot of stuff he gets annoyed if it isnt properly organized and will organize it for u wnv hes having writers block
- If ur an artist he has u make his merch designs n stuff 😍😍 he pays very generously he rlly dgaf abt money tbh + Knives sponsoring him
A/N: irrelevant but idk whether to imagine him as tristamp or trigun design like both are so good but Ok im done yapping ty
#legato x you#legato bluesummers x reader#legato x reader#legato trigun#trigun band au#trigun modern au#trigun college au#trigun stampede#trigun#legato bluesummers#ridiculous men x reader lol#sobbing (literal)#legato and i should kiss#deranged men#yapping
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A genuine question here, but why do you dislike The First so much?
well its a weird thing to talk about cause really its the same reason why i dislike stolen lupin or any other low tier TV special. the real question is why other people liked it so much and i think its only because its such a pretty movie, its jaw dropingly gorgeous and the lupgang banter is great but just those 2 together isnt enough to make a good MOVIE. but it is enough that u can have a good TIME if u dont think about whats happening. thats the short version, its just a bad movie. sorry🐅
i purposefully havent been too frank when talking publicly about it (why i kept a mean tweet about it in drafts for literal years) but compared to the unlimited love it gets from the fandom it looks like thats enough for people to pick up that i dislike it so much lol. so lets talk about the first!
ill be brief on each point. that ancient technology thing it does w the eclipse? thats a bad trope. its a very very bad trope. its the atlantis conspiracy theory, its 1 throwaway line away from slipping into ancient aliens, they pull the same shit in a couple other TV specials and none of them are fondly remembered so hopefully we all know this plot point sucks and is racist. if not you can google it. lets move on
the nazis. after watchin harimao i said it was more anti-nazi than the first, idk if id stand by that cause i havent seen it again since but i mention it to put it in lupin context. generally if it isnt OK to have lupin scam an ex-nazi in part 2 ep 3 by disguising himself as hitler, whys it OK for lupin to steal from nazis by disguising himself as hitler? at no point is the movie actually anti-nazi (though i wouldnt call it pro-nazi either) and its fucking weird to see lupin disguised as hitler in modern lupin cause each time nazis show up in classic lupin everyone agrees its tasteless & overdone.
laetitia! TMS did a genius thing w her cause shes incredibly well written as a self-insert fic protag. it is very easy to watch the first & pretend u urself are best friends w the gang by projecting urself onto her. this doesnt balance out her lack of character it only helps the audience not care about it. compare her to mariya from tokyo crisis- one could be written out of her own movie and we only get info bout her to move the plot (the bad, boring plot) forward, one is essential to the core of her movie and shes realistically affected by the things that happened to her and makes believable connections with some of the gang. yay! a character!!
the movie is also very segmented between "plot scenes" and "lupgang banter scenes" you will notice everything fun about lupin STOPS when we are being explained Plot Elements. lupin talks to laetitia and its a boring nazi ancient treasure movie. then we get a scene thats not about the eclipse or laetitias grandpa or the nazis and all of a sudden its super fun !!!!!!! this is bad writing. lol. watch fuma & see how lupin at its best can blend comedy and plot and exploration and fun banter.
my personal experience w the movie! the first time i watched it i had to pause it cause i was bored out of my mind. iirc it was more or less when lupin gets on the eclipse ship thing n all banter stops cause its just him n the nazi dude n i realized hey this movie kinda sucks actually! i texted a friend about it n he was like. yeah having to force urself to finish it sounds like ure not enjoyin this movie. i did watch the first 3 or 4 times? i did gif it a lot. theres scenes i like (the banter) but it doesnt make it a good movie. like i said when i first wrote my personal review of it: "I think looking at gifsets of this would be more enjoyable than actually watching it". laetitia really embodies her movie in that sense, shes a really good character if you only look at her. she shares her name with all of her ancestors! just who is she? why is she wearing short shorts? why was she a cop? how old is she? then you realize theres nothing there
and ultimately this IS a reaction to it being an unpopular opinion. there are so many lupin entries a lot more worthwhile than the first (2019) that dont even get half of the hype. in my personal ranking its in the bottom 10 (tho ive skipped 2 specials so u can consider that the bottom 12). i genuinely dont like it but im not as vocal about lets say, angels tactics, because we usually agree thats a bad one- or at least we dont recommend it to newcomers. the first has a good reputation so i feel more strongly about it despite liking it more. i would be just as vocal about dragon of doom & voyage to danger if people talked to me about them more often. (and i have a much more coherent critique of dragon of doom lol)
so i dont really know how to explain why i dislike the first cause i just do; the same way u just dislike a bad part 2 episode, the same way most of the fandom just finds napoleons dictionary kind of boring. how do u explain why u dislike the nazi ancient tech self-insert npc girl movie- except by calling it just that? i guess i wasnt blinded by how pretty it is which makes me sound full of myself LOL. but its true a lot of animation can get away w god awful writing if its well animated enough- and if its too ugly no one will watch the best written animated movie. i love animation too and it has so much to offer and i want to see more done in the style of the first with the story of [insert your personal favorite TV special]. im glad it opened the door for vs cats eye to look that way (though lets not forget the 2012 3DCG lupin short!). but the WRITING the STORY the MEAT of the first just isnt any better than any other mid to low tier lupin TV special. is it really worth recommending the first as someones entry into lupin just because it looks pretty? is it really better than the anime that made the author reboot his own manga? why are we even still talking about the first?
#ask#anon#uhm a bit shy to put this in my lupin tags#really no hate if u personally really enjoy the movie. i love elusiveness of the fog we all have different taste. who cares what i think 👍#lupin the third
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Hi Zak, would you recommend majoring in something you enjoy doing?
I enjoy writing (and beta reading), and plan to major in something like liberal arts or creative writing, but I'm not sure if I should.
I feel like I might get burnt out if I choose to major in one of that, but also, I'm worried about my future job prospects.
I've heard of people who majored in fine arts and end up having to do a job they dislike cuz no money for the work, and idk if it's worth it. :(
~ 📝 (is this taken?)
hey there notes!anon (will be tagging u as this!!), ty for the ask!!
i'd like to preface everything im going to say with like, this is my Own opinion based on my own experience, and your experiences may differ, so not everything i say may apply to you and your circumstances. im frankly always surprised when i get asks asking for advice on life stuff, because i myself definitely do not have my life together in any way. still, i hope something in my perspective can be useful somehow to you
i personally am not sure/am not knowledgeable about a liberal arts major (because my college didnt have a course like that) but i CAN talk about the effects/benefits/cons of a creative writing major because i myself am a creative writing graduate
and first off, job availability is not as big of a problem for CW graduates as many people think. lots of industries need creative writers. it may not be the industry you expected or originally wanted, but the prospects are definitely there. when i was job hunting, off the top of my head, here were the jobs i applied to (and thus felt somewhat qualified for, with my CW degree): advertising copywriter, SEO writer, english teacher/tutor, writing for print magazines, writing game guides for online websites, writing scripts for games, copyediting, corporate copywriting. and that is very much the tip of the iceberg, because there are a lot of jobs that i overlooked that i couldve qualified for but i wasnt personally interested in.
now on the topic of burnout......i'll be real with you: no matter what you major in in college, burnout will happen if you dont adequately manage yourself.
burnout is not exclusive to creative endeavors, it's an effect of too much work + lack of control (perceived or real) + a whole lot of other factors that are VERY common to experience in college. essentially, college is a CAUTION: BURNOUT PRONE AREA simply due to how it's designed/structured. so no matter what course you choose, it will be a danger. so it's less of picking a course and more of how you protect yourself against burnout that will help you more in the long run
that being said, i got burnt out a TON when i was in college because of my mental illness(TM) and also because i was generally bad at pacing myself and taking care of myself. but what got me through was my sheer dedication to writing.
one thing about college is that i think you should pick something that you like enough that even when you feel like you hate it to the high heavens (because you definitely might, what with how stressful college requirements are), there is still something stronger about your tie to that course that pulls you through
for me, it was personal passion and commitment to writing. writing has always been the one thing i knew i wanted to do since the beginning of time, so no matter how much i hated it on all nighters i was working on my thesis manuscript, i pulled through
essentially, to prevent/survive burnout: manage yourself + pick whatever course you want where the "but" in "oh my god i hate this course, BUT..." is a strong one. if you have no strong ones as of the moment, thats alright. you can build it up as you go along
now on the topic of "working a job they dislike" i will be real with you once more..............this is a more common reality of life than having a job you do like. i am a statistical anomaly in the sense that i generally enjoy my job, but a lot of the time (based on what my irl friends go through with their jobs) you end up with a job you didnt expect you'd get into and dont necessarily enjoy. but....it pays the bills. it pays for you to enjoy the stuff you do when youre not working. and thats a valid way to get through life as well.
life after college, contrary to what people want you to believe, is not 100% taken up by your job. or at least it shouldnt be. or at least you should work to make sure it isnt. this might be, again, because im coming from a privileged perspective of having the time to pursue other things like hobbies and interests in addition to having a job, but if you also have the resources to do so, then definitely do so.
all in all: "would you recommend majoring in something you enjoy doing?" it.....depends. i recommend majoring in something you feel strongly enough about that you will continue to do it even when it's not enjoyable 100% of the time. but dont worry about jobs, because a CW degree is definitely useful in the job market. and dont worry about burnout, because that exists in all courses anyway, not just CW.
that is!!......all i think i have to say about ur q, i think
i hope some part of this can be helpful, notes!anon. and im wishing you the best in your decision!!! :D
#notes!anon#asks#my job hunting era was a wild ride. remember when i got a job interview for writing romance games?#wild given what my current interest and fixation is HAHAHA
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hi idk if you were serious or not abt asking you abt evolution but i would love to learn more abt evolution if u want to talk abt it !! :]
I was being so serious!!! This has just taken me so long to answer because I couldnt figure out what part of evolution I wanted to talk about as if this is the only time id ever be able to talk about evolution on this blog askldjhfkalsjhdf
I've been thinking a lot lately about the grandmother hypothesis, which is the hypothesis for why female primate life expectancy is longer than the period in which the female is reproductively active for. (also wait i cant remember if this hypothesis applies to other animals as well or if it only applies to primates? ive really only studied both human and non-human primates so im a little bit clueless when it comes to evolution of other animals)
Like ok so hold on let me back up
So any biological organism has a life goal, and that is to reproduce as much as possible to make as many offspring as possible to ensure that your genes are being passed on to next generations. So when talking about evolution, an organism basically wants to have the best genes that allow it to survive long enough to reproduce, as well as reproduce as much as possible, and to ensure that their offspring reach reproductive age.
Now there are many different strategies to reach these goals, but for female animals that have low reproductive frequencies they have to expend a lot of energy in order to ensure that their offspring reach reproductive age. And when i say low reproductive frequency i mean like ok take humans for example, like you have a single baby and that takes nine full months, in that time the mother has to expend a lot of energy in order to grow the fetus, and then once the baby has been born, the mother then has to expend 18 years of energy raising the child till its an adult. Of course in humans this is different because like we dont live just to reproduce but thats what i mean with like female animals having to use up a lot of energy in order to pass on their own genes.
So basically, if a female animal's life goal is to reproduce as much as possible then why would they continue to live once they are no longer fertile? Basically the grandmother hypothesis is that females live longer than they are fertile for in order to help their own daughters raise their young.
It's super common at least in primates AGAIN CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH ALL MY INFORMATION IS PRIMATOCENTRIC I HAVE A BACKGROUND IN ANTHROPOLOGY AND PRIMATOLOGY NOT ANY OTHER SORT OF BIOLOGY but its super common for first time primate mothers to lose their first few infants, and by lose i mean the infants will die because the mother is inexperienced. And that loss of life is like SUPER costly to the mother because she just spent x amount of time growing that baby and during that time she missed out on being able to reproduce so now not only is she back to square one but she essentially just wasted all that energy. BUT that mother that just lost an infant? well she has a mother, and that mother who is now a grandmother has tones of experience raising infants and is less likely to have an infant die on her. So the grandmother hypothesis is basically that females live past reproductive age in order to help their own daughters raise infants, which helps the grandmother ensure her own genes are being carried on for more generations by making sure her daughter is reproductively successful.
there are a lot of other really neat examples of like this sort of mothering? where like females with infants rely on the help of other females to raise their children. i just think its neat :)
#bean babbles#answered asks#ghostapop#sorry for taking so long to answer this#i just was presented with an opportunity to talk about evolution and i froze because i had no idea what to talk about specifically#lmk if any of this is confusing#i have not reread this so no clue if there are typos or if anything doesnt make sense#i just think reproductive biology is really interesting and how certain reproductive strategies have evolved#its neato!
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RP trope tierlist
logging in from being AWOL due to The Inherent Stress Of Being Alive in order to post a dash meme that doesnt require thought
tagged by : @marionmaverick tagging : @aetheryic and anyone else whos online and happens to see this
ponderings on tropes behind cut and fel free to DM me if theres any of this bullshit u wanna write with me [audible winking noise]
ok hear me out. college aus are S tier and high school aus are D tier because as an adult i refuse to be invested in the goings-on of high schools and also the high school au offers fundamentally less options for insanity. college aus are here for me to make jokes in because anything in a college setting can happen. colleges are weird. this applies to both teachers and students. all the drama of ur school au with the added bonus of plots like "i have to hunt a professor for sport like some kind of CIA sting operation because he doesnt respond to emails and isnt in his office hours so come help me corner this guy". that, inherently, rules much more than "i still live with my parents because im 17". this is an unskippable monologue.
sharing a bed/fake relationships are all excuses for me to write incredible yearning, which i love and is my strength.
all folklore/historical/royal/magic/crossover aus rule. also i am a historian with a focus on literature/folklore/religion so obviously im Into It
we dont talk about my deep and abiding love for omegaverse unless ur also into omegaverse. i have a sprawling universe for all my muses in my brain. please dont judge me.
sex pollen is superior to fuck or die as a trope. i hold this true and sincere to my heart because of the specific kinks which i have. this is my skippable monologue cutscene in which i expound the delicate differences between the two. [REDACTED FOR LENGTH]
amnesia/death bore me generally. dark is fine so long as its not simply pure angst with no redemption. i enjoy angst but not pointless torment. yknow? miscommunication also bores me because its too easily solved and becomes unrelatable at a certain point of extension
crackfic and humor are different things, crack to me requires ooc. only chumps require breaking character to make jokes. skill issue.
i dont even know how id write a time loop thread bc 1. idk how itd work in general 2. every time i hear time loop i think of the fate/hollow ataraxia doujin that makes me laugh perpetually where archer gets stuck in a timeloop where the resest point is him getting boned. would be incapable of writing a time loop seriously bc id just be like "yeah but when can i make it reset so when the character wakes up theyre getting fucked like DAMNIT CAN I AT LEAST WAKE UP DURING THE FOREPLAY SO IM NOT SURPRISED BY IT bc thats my sense of humor"
now you too much about me as a person i guess but its been so long since i wrote i have to vomit thoughts apparently.
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what do you think jedidiah and yvonne’s friendship would have been like during college, particularly when sydney was comatose?
!!!!!! okay so this one im gonna do less evidence baded more interpretation bc like i think this is something that will be explored more Later so like obviously idk for sure . but from what i understand of how they talk about it it seems like yvonne and jedidiah first came to be friends probably through a good deal of effort on yvonnes part since jeddie obviously was scared of them in the beginning i doubt he was the one initiating the friendship . and i think it seems like they spent a lot of time together since yvonne references trying to bring jedidiah to parties a lot, and i also think it was usually just the two of them since joshua asks if he knows this story (implying theres at least Some yvonne and jeddie stories he doesnt know), yvonne doesnt seem at all as close to sydney as they do to jedidiah, and they dont really seem to have other mutual friends thatr referenced . i think they used to just hang out and play video games and joke around a lot - they strike me as the kind of friends who spend tons of time together and consider each other best friends but dont really emotionally open up to each other that often, just bc both of them seem to struggle with talking about their feelings at times (except w joshua on yvonnes end) and yvonne doesnt seem to know abt how jeddies relationship to sydney reallt works. but i do think jedidiah opens up to yvonne more than most ppl!! theres a bit of evidence for this (yvonne refers to jeddie as not having been Openly stressed out in ages which implies hes been stressed out before in private) and i also just think it makes sense given how willing jeddie is to open up to yvonne. and even if they dont open up as much they still get along well and enjoy each others company!! i think yvonne also helped jedidiah open up somewhat - definitely not Fully obviously but i think they were a large part of jedidiah growing less sheltered, trying new things and generally becoming less of the EXTREMELY sheltered college jeddie thats scared of dyed hair. i think yvonne was a good influence on him, yk? pushed him out of his comfort zone in a way that sydney isnt always able to do necessarily due to the weirdness of their dynamic, sydneys pushes of jeddie to get out of his comfort zone tend to go too far and make jeddie uncomfortable whereas yvonnes seem to do more to be helpful - say what u will abt the skyrim dance scene but he definitely did loosen up and have fun lol
when sydney was comatose is trickier so thisll be more fuzzy since that whole timeline confuses me but based off of what yvonnes said about jedidiahs last year of college . my basic interpretation of yvonne and jedidiahs friendship at that time is that i think jedidiah began to start falling apart at the seams a little bit and began pushing people away and avoiding people and yvonne just sort of backed off a little because they werent totally sure what to do or say . yvonne references wanting to do a better job of helping jedidiah sooner than they did back then and yvonne seems to struggle with communicating with people sometimes - i think they didnt know what to say to jedidiah or how to help, and eventually things got so bad that there was nothing To do to help at all bc things just wouldnt get through to him even if you tried your best to help . i think yvonne and jedidiah largely get along due to their difficulty with emotional expression but i also think that became a major Flaw in their relationship as things went bad becaus i think jeddie couldnt ask for help an dyvonne couldnt bridge the gap
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it truly does jokerfy me a bit how overlooked they are and have always been. like this is sort of a deep cut so idk how relatable it is, but i remember i would be at the mall in middle school at dELiA*s (who remember!! lmao) looking at their wall of band shirts seeing like the killers, kings of leon, etc thinking shit like, "i dont understand why spoons not up here or why i dont hear them on the radio and people dont know who im talking about when i mention them, but all thats true of these bands. but spoon is better than all these bands is the thing. with the same amount of appeal imo" ...like maybe in a less sophisticated and more annoying middle schooler way, but that sentiment. and i still feel that way! and i get that that is justifiably said of soooo many groups and musicians, truly, across all genres. art and creative fields in general really. but with spoon i think about it especially not just because im particularly sentimental about their work, but also bc i truly feel like they have a really broad appeal. i mean their songs end up on the soundtracks of all sorts of films and tv episodes bc theyre good, they capture a mood, they just have that oomph that a scene needs. but theyre just not very well known. a blessing and a curse i figure, feels like theyll never get the respect and clout theyve rightfully earned for their artistry which is a bit crazymaking but otoh theres allll sorts of downsides and indignities to fame 🥄
exactly like they really do have a Commercial Appeal (pun intended) and they truly do have a wide spread of genres covered, and covered well. it’s interesting they never cracked outside of their scene given they really well could have given the rise of indie rock/pop/general alternative adjacent scene in the main charts. and as you mentioned, they did have a lot of boosts in media that actually helped to catapult a lot of their contemporaries, it just seemed they never managed to bubble above the surface.
tangent after the cut sorry spoon-anon but i have A LOT on my mind. hopefully u stick w me thru this and get where i’m coming from (tho im sure u do)
however, what i mean w cult-status is like in reference to some of their contemporaries like the national, interpol and a lot of the NY scene when i think about it – sort of being viewed as these cult like bands with an actual document of their history straight from the go in some cases.
as u would know spoon has this unique story to them that makes them perfect fodder for this for anybody else reading below the cut: band releases a well received debut album on a cult label (matador), leaves them for a major to release a lauded follow up that does terribly sales wise and gets thrown to the dogs like meat straight afterwards due to horrible mismanagement but somehow defy that and go on to continue to release some of the most critically acclaimed albums of the last 20 years despite the fact they may as well had just given the fuck up.
if that had happened to any of those NY-adjacent bands i feel the history would have been covered so much different if that makes sense? like they’d have somebody down there in the trenches with the band covering this shit for a low quality documentary that’d be like the gospel for fans. imagine seeing footage of britt curled up at the times square hotel pay phones he would call up his lawyer on during his 15 minute breaks at citibank lol trying to shop rough copies of girls can tell to labels because he was that hellbent on getting it released. you can only imagine it because it doesn’t exist!! if it was any other critically acclaimed blog era-band it probably would exist!! hell any kind of proper document of any of their post-sneaks albums would have been so fucking good and so deserved. i feel all we really know about them is merely just crumbs in general as a band imo and a lot of good preservation just doesn’t seem to exist at all. like yeah we have the decent oral history of gimme fiction but i kinda want that for the whole band more thoroughly? i like knowing things! i want some sort of meet me in the bathroom kind of coverage of them. i want them to be respected for the band that they are because they are just that good and utterly destroy their contemporaries in terms of output AND consistent critical acclaim. kinda mad at myself for putting them in the back of my mind for almost decade smh 😔
still i just feel they don’t get even close to enough love or respect from people although their contemporaries are regarded as darlings and have devout groups of fans and that stuff. a good majority of them probably have no fucking idea who spoon are even though the band themselves have probably done something with them or have heard of the band in passing/other media. with all that considered, it’s all very strange to me how they’ve just ended up being some band from austin. maybe that’s just how it was meant to be. i’m not sure.
EDDIIT: i just realized after that last post that arcade fire was actually given more light than hell by merge than spoon were when they were literally on the same label like um where the FUCK was that level of attention for them when they were literally both on par with each other quality wise musically and critically like hello?????? what's up with THAT... much to fucking think about also fuck win butler btw.
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