#i wonder who it was in the story that said something to some particular people that ended in them being punished... hm....

[mssallsunday]

mouthwashing features a mc who rapes and impregnates a woman and then crashes a spaceship full of innocent people to cover that fact up when the news gets out to the ppl she confides in and the captain tells her her assaulter wouldn't do that because he "knows him" and the mc pretends like it never happened as he is haunted by the images of his lies and deceit and cowardice and the image of his unborn child and the sound of a child's cries and the captain who failed to act cannot move himself or feed himself or speak for himself or defend himself when the mc attacks him and berates him and blames him for every lie he's ever told as the captain loses every scrap of autonomy he has left. but yeah it's about fucking. capitalism and yaoi. whatever i guess

[mc-critical]

1.10 / 1.09

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can’t stop thinking the tall horror men of homicipher. I’m like 5ft something, so I know damn well these men tower over me…am I discovering something? Maybe 👀👀👀but I know I ain’t alone. TRUE STORY: Also there was this guy that came into my place of work moths ago with his family and he was TALL, bending down to get through the doorframe TALL but he was lovely.

So how do I imagine these boy would react if they see that you’re clearly ogling them for how tall they were.

Mr crawling

Given the fact that you’ve only seen him stand once, it was enough to have your jaw dropping to the floor. He was taller than the fucking doorway that he had to manoeuvre himself under it, and suddenly you’ve forgotten that you were being kidnapped by Mr Stitch, too intrigued by his height and now understanding why he had lied to you about his ability to stand.

He thought he would scare you but in fact made you feel the complete opposite, you loved how tall he was and you couldn’t get it out of your head, even when he’s back on his hands and knees to comfort you. The illusion had worn off and now you wanted to see him tall all the time, but you didn’t want to pressure him into doing so unless he felt comfortable.

‘You’re tall, really tall.’ You said in awe as Mr crawling coddled you against his chest.

‘Scared?’ He asked as though he was fearing your answer, which broke your heart as you nuzzled your face against his shoulder in an attempt of comfort.

‘No, handsome.’ You replied as Mr Crawling made chirps and purrs of happiness as he held you closer to him.

While he’s still not fond on standing to his full height, the fear of his intimating stature would chase you away one day embedded in his heavily, he would find some comfort in knowing that you loved his tall stature and love you even more for not forcing him to do something he clearly was uncomfortable with; preferring to shower him in kisses and remind him that whether he’s standing or on his hands and knees you loved him regardless.

Mr silvair

The man can feel your eyes on his back constantly. He knows he’s taller than most but the way you looked and admired his full height like you wouldn’t be able to anymore.

He wonders whether this was something only you seemed to have or whether other humans also felt possessed by the need to gawk at people above a certain height. Or was it just you that has this particular expression upon seeing his tall stature in general.

He would take notes of how his height seemingly did something to you that then triggered a chemical reaction within your brain to make you find his height appealing and possibly a requirement in finding your perfect romantic partner.

Or more specifically people of similar height to Mr Silvair himself or anyone close enough to his height to qualify. Mr Silvair soon deduced that you liked the domineering presence of someone much bigger than you, someone who’s able to drag you wherever as though you were nothing but weightless to them, almost like a ragdoll.

He’d soon find that this is in most cases considered a kink amongst you humans who found the height difference between partner rather erotic.

Mr Scarletella

Finds your content ogling of him flattering and thinks that it means that you were finally, finally reciprocating his obsession with you for your own obsession with him.

He’s another one who takes note of how you like how tall he is in comparison to you, always looking at him whenever he was entering the room, eyes widening when you see him having to bed down to get through the doorway, and your eyes never leave him even as he’s walking towards you; seemingly getting taller with each step until he’s in front of you and you’re looking at him in awe and hitched breath.

He’s obsessed with your expression each and every time and uses his height to his advantage. Such as doing things like putting his hand above your head and on the wall, looking down at you with those obsessive eyes of his as his smile seemed to widen upon hearing your breath hitch and eyes widen once more.

His height continued to elicit a reaction out of you that Mr Scarletella loved and adored and wanted to see more of in the future.

Mr Hood

Finds your constant ogling of his height interesting.

He didn’t know why you were so surprised he’s this tall, he’s been with you this entire time and it was only recently did your mind seemed to inform you of your Incredibly stark height difference, and bam! Suddenly he’s the subject of your constant staring and ogling as though it would be the last thing you did.

It was humorous to say the least and will earn you some head pats and cheek caresses that has you leaning towards his comforting and gentle touches.

It wasn’t something that you hide from him as half of the time you didn’t realise you were doing it until Mr Hood pointed it out with curiosity, meanwhile your left flustered as your mind held certain thoughts towards his legs, thighs and large hands.

Poor Mr Hood, he understood to some extent but after a certain point it’s better to explain to him that you find his height rather appealing to you in more ways than one.

[c0eu4]

LN4 | Tits

Request: inspi ration (he said tits in the blurry part)

Summary: Lando meets Y/n at a club and she asks him to sign her tits. A few days later, Lando is looking for her and they become friends. So she surprises him by coming to see him in Las Vegas.

Warning: Lando signing tits? Lando jerking off himself, needy Lando but no smut

A/N: I'm so so so so so sorry but I accidentally published the story when it wasn't finished and I had to delete and redo everything and I don't have the request!!

part one - part two - part three

MASTERLIST requests are opens

His glass in his hand, he moves to the rhythm of the music. The lights of all colors blind him slightly and the music is so loud that he can't hear people talking around him. He takes the last sip of his drink, disappointed at having to move from the dancefloor to get a drink.

He warns Max (Fewtrell) and heads towards the bar in the center of the club. He doesn't take the time to sit down and walk next to a young woman, leaning against the counter.

He signals to the bartender and asks him for another drink. As he waited for his drink, the young lady next to him patted his shoulder, ''Uhm excuse me?''

He turns around, giving her a charming smile. He can't help but let his eyes slide down to her plunging neckline, waking up her chest. ''I can help you?''

The young lady blushed slightly, ''Uhm are you Lando Norris?'' He chuckled, ''Himself'' Her eyes widen softly, ''May I ask you an autograph?''

Lando can't help but smile even more. He doesn't know why, but he's not annoyed when she asks him that. Normally, he accepts like anyone else, even if it annoys him to be disturbed.

''Of course, do you want me to sign something in particular?'' She thinks, asks the bartender for a piece of paper, who tells her he doesn't have any. Then suddenly, an idea crossed her mind.

''Can you sign my tits?'' Lando's eyes widened, his cheeks getting slightly red. He chuckled as he took the pen the bartender offered him.

She pulls down her dress a little, revealing her breasts even more. ''Should I sign both?'' He can't take his eyes off of her breasts. He feels like he's a growing teenager again, filled with uncontrollable hormones.

''Yeah please.'' He uncaps the pen, puts a hand on her shoulder for support and tries to write but can't. He sighed, dreading his questions. ''Can I touch it? It would be easier.''

She chuckled, her now hugely revealed breasts moving slightly along with her little laugh. She still wonders if he isn't trying to touch them on purpose. But hey, after all, it's not every day you catch Lando Norris's eyes.

''If you want that much.'' He can't help but laugh, his warm breath tickling her bare collarbone. ''What's your name?'' He placed his hands on her right breast, ''Y/n.'' he tried to stretch the skin to allow the pen to work better. He signs it and adds 'for y/n, with love' He reproduces the gesture on her other breast, not hesitating to let his fingers slide a little lower.

His signature is perfect. As in the photos. ''Thank you'' He winks at her and she chuckled softly, probably nervously. He takes his drink and goes back to see Max who's now a bit away from the dancefloor and talking with some people.

Lando approached them and immediately, Max whispered something in his ear, ''Mate you're hard.'' Lando's head turns red as one of his hands slowly goes in front of his bulge, hiding it.

_ _ _

A few days later, Y/n is still in Lando's mind. He can't stop thinking of her. He even tried to search her on Instagram but it wasn't conclusive. He still sees her reddened cheeks, her nervous smile, her pink lips and her breasts.. oh my god. Just thinking about it makes his pants feel tight.

He readjust himself in the bed, his hand slipping under his boxers. He couldn't help it, she was so beautiful...and good. He imagines his cock between her breasts accelerating the movements of his hand. And it doesn't take long before he's cumming in his pants, imagining Y/n touching and licking him.

What a dirty boy he can be. Seriously, jerking off while thinking about a fan's tits.

He gets up after catching his breath and clean the mess he makes. His phone buzzed and he looked at Max's message.

''Mate you're not gonna believe me''

His text was accompanied with a picture.. of y/n, drinking a coffee, alone.

''Isn't that the girl you're looking for?''

''Where is she?''

''The cafe we usually went to'' ''You want me to do something?''

Lando doesn't answer, already putting on his shoes and jacket. He went outside, walking pretty fast to his car. His mother would kill him if she knew how speedy he drives.

He enters that café, his eyes wandering all the people in. His gaze freezes on her. She was as beautiful as he remembered. Her long brown hair cascaded over her shoulders and her black turtleneck hid her collarbone, at the risk of disappointing Lando. Her laptop is open in front of her, next to two empty cafes.

He doesn't know what to do. Should he go see her? Or just observe her? He can also offer her a coffee and write his number on it, like in the movies.

He gathers his courage and orders two coffees. One for her and one for him. He decides to play it cool and sits across from her, putting the coffees on the table. She looks up from her computer and smiles nervously. ''Mister Norris. How can I help you?''

Her cheeks turn slightly red probably just like his. ''Maybe by giving me your number?'' He surprised himself with his overconfidence. She giggles, writes something in her notebook and gives the piece of paper to him.

Deep down, she knew that during that evening, something had happened between them. But she never thought he would look for her.

_ _ _

Since that day, they haven't stopped talking to each other.

Lando is an extrovert. Y/n is an introvert.

Lando likes to talk. Y/n likes to listen.

Lando doesn't know how to hide his feelings. Y/n doesn’t know how to show them.

They complete each other. They are made for each other. Their discussions are natural, Lando loves talking to her, even until late at night. And he knows she will always be there to listen to him. Meeting her was the best thing that could have happened to him.

Y/n feels bad to have to lie to him. She walks back into the airport, readjusting her sunglasses. She passes through the secure gate without any hassle and barely has time to land to wait for her plane that Oscar called her and she picked up the phone.

''What did you tell him?''

''That I can't come.''

''I heard him crying in his driver's room.''

Oscar had agreed to help her to make a surprise for Lando and come see him in Las Vegas. But knowing that Lando's cried for her makes her heart breaks.

''Aw I feel so bad.''

He chuckles.

''Don't worry, he'll be so happy. I'm sure he'll kiss you.'' Oscar always thought that one day or another, they would end up together. Not that it bothers Y/n, but Lando is her best friend and she's afraid of ruining their relationship.

''Stop saying silly things.'' Oscar laughed again, but more loudly this time.

''Yeah yeah.. ahhh.. we do like we say, huh?''

''Yep, I'm going to enter the plan in a few minutes, be sure to be there when I land.''

''No I should let you at the airport.''

''Funny but you'll have to support the upset of Lando during the whole week.''

''You win on this point.''

''I let you Ozzy, see you in LA.''

''Have a nice plane.''

She thanks him and hangs up. She gets on the plane and sits in her seat. During the twelve hours of flights, Y/n finds something to occupy herself by watching a trilogy, sleeping and reading.

Once arrived, all that remains is the most complicated part. She has to collect her suitcase, leave the airport and join Oscar without being recognized. She readjusts her sunglasses and the black mask that hides the lower part of her face. With her hood on her head, she walks with her head down and hurries to collect her suitcase.

She leaves the airport in less than thirty minutes and quickly finds Oscar's car. She puts her suitcase in the trunk and gets in the passenger seat.

''Hey, nobody saw you?'' He asked her as she took off her sunglasses, mask and hood. ''Hi, I don't think so.'' He doesn't wait any longer to start the car and drive straight to the hotel.

She preferred to surprise him by waiting for him in his hotel room rather than at the track.

''I got a copy of his room card.'' He gives her the card as she quickly puts on her makeup.

It doesn't take long for them to arrive at the hotel. He helps her with her things and they hurry to the hotel room. Due to traffic jams on the road, they lost time and Lando should arrive more soon than expected.

She places her things in a corner of the room and sits down on the bed that he didn't even take the time to make.

''Tell me if he kissed you.'' Said Oscar before leaving her alone. He didn't let her have the time to respond and she just scrolled on her phone to pass the time.

She looks in the mirror, checking that her outfit is okay. She made the effort to take a twelve-hour plane with a rather uncomfortable dress, even if she was wearing one of Lando's sweaters over it.

She readjusts her hair and receives a message from Oscar telling her that he ran into Lando in the hallway.

She sits on the edge of bed and stares at the front door. She hears a noise, then a 'beep' meaning the door is open.

Lando walks into the room, not even noticing her, too busy looking at his phone. He places his bag on the ground and finally looks up from his phone.

His eyes open wide and his mouth is parted, not knowing what to say.

''Happy birthday, Lando.'' She smiles at him getting up from the bed.

Lando doesn't know what's going through his head, but he walks towards her, places his hands on her cheeks and presses his lips to hers.

Shit. Oscar was right. But it doesn't stop her from kissing him back, moving her lips along with his. She wraps her arms around his waist to pull him even closer to her.

''What the hell are you doing here!?'' He finally breaks the kiss, still in shock.

''Don't you still know that I'm a very good liar?'' He kissed her cheeks, his hand slowing on her hips.

''Fuck I missed you so much.'' He kisses her neck, already nibbing on it.

''Wow wow wow Lan', slowly.'' He stops it and his lips go back to hers.

''I hate you.'' She arranges the strands of hair that fall in front of his eyes.

''No you don't.'' He kissed her again.

''Be my girlfriend.''

''Did I have the choice?''

''No.'' He doesn't give her time to respond as he kisses her again, addicted to her lips.

Lando will no longer need to imagine his cock between her breasts. He's already planning to experience it tonight.

[daryldicksuckon69]

Unspoken Truths (16+)

Pair: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Era: Alexandria Era (No particular season, Glenn, Abraham live and there's no Saviors)

Tags: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Teasing by the whole group

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: none

Summary: Daryl and Reader and reminded that they need to step into reality and admit the growing attraction between the two of them that literally everyone else sees except them.

@futuremilfemma hey :) i saw that your request were open and i had something in my mind 🤭 first of all i love your fics and your writing style especially in „ride his motorcycle“ when the character had this cute relationship with the women of the group and their little gossip sessions. sooo i was wondering if you could write something like this: the group finally settles down in alexandria (pre negan) the reader and daryl have known eachother since the quarry (they went hunting together. bonded over past trauma, etc.) and they have always hit it off and are now labeled as best friends but everyone around them can see that they feel more. like they try and convince them to confess and all but they just keep admiring eachother from afar especially daryl when he sees the reader getting ready for the party at deanna‘s? sorry if that‘s too much i would just love reading something like this

A/N: Thanks for the request emma, I hope this is what you were looking for. I was keke-ing while writing about the girls and guys teasing reader and daryl haha

The walls of Alexandria loomed in the distance, a symbol of safety and normalcy in a world where both had become distant memories. Daryl, perched against the frame of the front porch, watched the community come alive. People bustled about, preparing for a party Deanna was hosting that night—a strange but welcome change of pace from the endless survivalist days on the road.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about all this. The quiet, the calm—it unnerved him. It was a stark contrast to the constant danger they’d faced since the prison, the farm; since anything in his life, even before people lost their brains: Alexandria seemed almost too good to be true.

And then there was you.

You had been with him from the beginning, always by his side during hunts, sharing long silences and stories of past hurts, unspoken but understood. Over the years, you’d become his anchor, the one person he could trust completely. The one person he didn’t feel judged by, and the one who saw past his rough exterior. You got him in a way no one else did.

Which is why it was complicated now, more than ever.

His gaze flickered to the house where you were getting ready for the party. The curtains were drawn back, and he could see you through the open window. You’d always been beautiful to him, though he’d never said it aloud. That wasn’t his way, after all. But tonight, something was different. Maybe it was the fact that you had spent so long getting ready, or maybe it was the way the soft glow of the evening light bathed you in an ethereal warmth. Whatever it was, Daryl couldn’t look away.

You were standing in front of a mirror, adjusting the dress he’d recognised all too well. 

You and Daryl had gone on a supply run, just the two of you—like old times. Though Alexandria offered some respite from the chaos, there were still days when you both preferred the quiet of the woods, where the only sounds were your footsteps and the rustle of leaves.

It had been a rough few days, though. A week ago, Spencer, Mayor Deanna’s son, had rejected you. The memory of his dismissive words still stung—how he’d said you were “nice,” but he wasn’t looking for anything serious. It wasn’t just the rejection that hurt, but the way he’d made you feel small, like you were an afterthought.

Daryl hadn’t pried, but he knew something was off. He’d seen the sadness you tried to hide and how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes lately.

“Need somethin’?” Daryl asked as he pulled open the door to what used to be a boutique, stepping inside first to make sure it was clear.

“No, just looking,” you muttered, following him in. The boutique was a sad shell of its former self. Clothes lay scattered across the floor, mannequins toppled, and the scent of dust and decay filled the air.

You trailed behind him, not really interested in finding anything specific—just glad to be moving. Daryl moved with his usual quiet intensity, sifting through racks with a practised eye. He didn’t speak much, but his presence was a comfort. He’d always been that for you, even when words weren’t necessary.

As you wandered near the back of the store, your gaze fell on a shattered mirror. You stared at your reflection for a moment, feeling the weight of Spencer’s rejection creeping back in. The cracked glass seemed to echo how you felt inside—fractured, unimportant.

Suddenly, Daryl’s voice cut through your thoughts. “Hey.”

You turned, and your heart skipped at the sight of him holding up a dress—a simple, sleeveless one in a soft, faded green. He held it awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure how to handle it, but his expression was serious as ever. “Thought this might suit ya.”

For a moment, you were speechless. The idea of Daryl, tough and rugged, holding up a dress for you was almost surreal. But the sincerity in his eyes softened the moment.

“Me?” You arched a brow, stepping closer to inspect the dress. “You really think so?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged, not meeting your eyes. “Kinda matches your eyes, I guess. I dunno.” He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable but pushing through. “Just… figured ya might like it. After… y’know.”

It took you a second to realise what he meant. After Spencer. It wasn’t just that Spencer had rejected you– it was the casual way he’d brushed you aside, as though your feelings were nothing more than an inconvenience. It has cut deeper than you wanted to admit.

The realisation made your chest tighten, but not with sadness this time—with something else. He wasn’t just showing you a dress. He was trying to make you feel better, in the way only Daryl could.

A soft smile tugged at your lips. “Thanks, Daryl. That’s… sweet.”

He grunted, clearly embarrassed, his gaze darting away. “Ain’t nothin’. Just a stupid dress.”

But you shook your head. “No, it’s not stupid. I like it.”

For the first time in days, you felt the shadow that had been hanging over you lift just a little. The dress was a gesture, small but significant. Daryl didn’t give compliments easily, and for him to go out of his way to do something like this—it meant more than you could put into words.

You took the dress from his hands, feeling the worn fabric between your fingers. “Maybe I’ll wear it to the next one of Deanna’s parties,” you joked lightly, trying to ease the tension.

Daryl’s eyes flicked to yours, and for a split second, something unreadable passed between you. “You should,” he muttered, his voice low but firm. “You’d look real good.”

You blinked, surprised by the weight behind his words. His gaze lingered on yours for a moment longer before he turned back to the rack of clothes, mumbling something under his breath. It wasn’t like Daryl to give compliments, much less ones that carried so much weight.

Your heart fluttered at the thought.

Tucking the dress under your arm, you smiled softly to yourself. Spencer’s rejection suddenly seemed like a distant memory. Maybe it didn’t matter what he thought. Maybe the only person whose opinion really mattered was standing right in front of you.

He saw the way you ran your hands over the fabric, smoothing it down before reaching up to touch your hair. It was rare to see you like this—clean, dressed up. It made his heart race in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He wasn’t even sure if you ever really noticed how hard he tried, in his own way, to make you feel like you mattered.

“What’re you starin’ at, Dixon?”

Daryl stiffened at the voice behind him. Rick. Of course.

“Nothin’,” he muttered, turning away from the window as if caught doing something wrong. But Rick wasn’t buying it, and the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth told Daryl that much.

“Yeah, sure. Nothin’.” Rick chuckled softly, clapping a hand on Daryl’s shoulder. “Everyone sees it, you know.”

Daryl frowned, his eyes narrowing. “Sees what?”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “You and her. You think nobody’s noticed the way you two are? C’mon, Daryl. It’s obvious.”

Daryl shifted uncomfortably, his boots scraping against the porch floor. He wanted to scoff, shrug it off like Rick was wrong, but the truth stuck in his throat like splinters. It wasn't just how you made him feel—he was terrified of what would happen if you knew.

“Ain’t like that.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Rick’s tone was teasing but gentle, like he knew exactly what Daryl was feeling. “You ever think about just… telling her?”

Daryl’s throat tightened at the thought. Confess? To you? The idea seemed ridiculous. You were his best friend—why would you want anything more from a guy like him? You deserved better. Someone who could give you more than just broken words and awkward silences.

“Nah,” he finally muttered. “Ain’t my place.”

Rick sighed, giving him a sympathetic look. “You’re not fooling anyone. Just think about it.”

With that, Rick walked away, leaving Daryl alone with his thoughts. He huffed in frustration, casting another glance toward your window. You were moving now, stepping back from the mirror to admire your reflection. A soft smile touched your lips, and something inside Daryl clenched.

He didn’t deserve to feel this way, did he? Not about you.

But he couldn’t help it.

The small house in Alexandria buzzed with excitement as you stood in front of the mirror, tugging at the green dress Daryl had found for you on that run weeks ago. You weren’t exactly used to getting dressed up, and the idea of attending Deanna’s party made you feel awkward, even if the people around you seemed eager for a night of normalcy.

Behind you, Rosita lounged on the bed with her legs crossed, twirling a strand of her hair, while Carol and Maggie were sorting through a small pile of accessories on the table. Michonne leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed, a knowing smirk already playing at her lips.

“You know,” Rosita said, eyeing you with a sly grin, “if you’re getting all dolled up like that, maybe it’s not just for the party.”

You blinked at her through the mirror. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, c’mon,” Carol chimed in, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “You’ve been wearing that same look all afternoon. Like you’re not sure if you’re nervous about the party or something else… or someone else.”

Your cheeks burned instantly, and you turned to look at her. “Carol, don’t start—”

“Daryl,” Maggie finished for her, waggling her eyebrows playfully. “We’re talking about Daryl.”

You groaned, shaking your head, but the teasing only intensified. Michonne smirked, uncrossing her arms and stepping closer. “Oh yeah. It’s obvious,” she added. “The way he looks at you… like he’s ready to rip apart anyone who so much as breathes in your direction.”

“Pfft,” Rosita snickered, shifting on the bed. “That man’s got it bad for you. I mean, you’ve been glued to his side since day one. You’re practically the Bonnie to his Clyde. Except way less murder-y… sometimes.”

You laughed despite yourself. “We’re just friends.”

Maggie let out a small chuckle, shaking her head. “If you two are ‘just friends,’ then Rick and Michonne are still ‘just patrolling together,’” she teased, throwing a playful glance at Michonne, who raised a brow in mock offense.

“Hey, at least Rick and I own it now,” Michonne quipped, smirking. “You two? You’ve been dancing around each other forever.”

“Maybe he’s just waiting for the right moment,” Carol said thoughtfully, her smile turning softer. “Daryl’s like that. He’s patient, but… when he cares about someone, he doesn’t let go.”

You bit your lip, trying to ignore the way your heart sped up at her words. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about it before—about Daryl, about what he meant to you. But you’d always pushed those thoughts aside. Why ruin a good thing?

Rosita, though, wasn’t about to let you off the hook. She stood up and walked over, grinning as she picked up a necklace from the table and held it up to your neck. “Come on, admit it. You’ve noticed the way he looks at you, haven’t you? He watches you like you’re the last good thing in this world.”

You swallowed hard, your mind drifting back to the way Daryl had looked at you earlier today when you caught him staring before the party. The way his eyes softened just slightly, the way he averted his gaze as if he was afraid of being caught.

Maggie smirked, stepping closer and nudging your arm. “Face it, girl. Y’all are the definition of ‘cute couple that won’t admit it.’”

“I—” you started, but Michonne cut you off, crossing her arms again with a teasing grin.

“Daryl may be rough around the edges, but let me tell you, when it comes to you…” She paused for dramatic effect, raising a brow. “He’d take real good care of you.”

Your face went hot. “Michonne!”

“What?” Rosita laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulder as she wiggled her brows. “You know it’s true. He’s got that whole protective thing going on, like he’s just waiting to step in and—”

“Rosita, stop,” you groaned, covering your face in embarrassment.

But the room erupted into laughter, and even you couldn’t help but smile behind your hands. The teasing was relentless, but you knew it came from a place of love. They saw something in the way Daryl and you interacted—something you had been too scared to fully acknowledge yourself.

As the laughter died down, Carol stepped forward, her expression soft and kind. “We’re only teasing because we care about you. And him. He might not be good with words, but Daryl… he shows how he feels in other ways.”

Maggie nodded, her voice gentle. “Like finding that dress for you. You know he didn’t just stumble on it by accident, right? He wanted you to have something nice. For yourself.”

“I can think of something else he wants her to have all to herself,” Rosita quips, turning the room into a bottle of laughter once again. 

You looked down at the green fabric, brushing your fingers over it. Daryl had given it to you during one of your lowest moments, and you hadn’t realised until now how much it truly meant. It wasn’t just a dress. It was his way of saying he saw you, that you mattered to him.

Rosita gave you a playful nudge. “He may not say it out loud, but actions speak louder than words, right?”

You met her eyes through the mirror, and for a moment, everything felt so clear. The tension between you and Daryl had been building for so long, and maybe—just maybe—it was time to stop pretending it didn’t exist.

“Whatever happens tonight,” Maggie said, adjusting a bracelet on your wrist, “just remember—we all think you two would be great together.”

“Yeah,” Rosita added with a wink, “and don’t be surprised if Daryl tries to ‘take real good care of you’ later.”

You groaned again, laughing despite yourself. “You guys are terrible.”

Michonne grinned, her voice low and teasing. “Terrible? Maybe. But we’re right.”

And deep down, you really wanted them to be right.

The sun had begun to set by the time the party was in full swing. The house was filled with laughter, chatter, and the clinking of glasses as the residents of Alexandria tried to pretend, just for a moment, that the world outside wasn’t in ruins. Daryl stood in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest, scanning the room with the practised eye of someone who never quite let his guard down.

And then you walked in.

He hadn’t seen you since earlier when you were getting ready, and now that you were here, it was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. The dress you wore was simple, but it hugged your frame in a way that made Daryl’s heart stutter. Your hair was loose, framing your face, and your eyes… your eyes were searching the room until they found him.

When you smiled, his throat went dry.

Daryl quickly looked away, feeling like an idiot. He was supposed to be a damn hunter, a man of few words, not some lovesick fool gawking at his best friend from across the room.

“Wow,” came a voice at his side. Daryl looked over to see Carol, who had caught his reaction and was now giving him a knowing grin. “You really should tell her, you know.”

“Not you too,” Daryl grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Carol chuckled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “I’m just saying, Daryl. It’s been obvious for a long time. She feels the same way—you can see it in the way she looks at you.”

Daryl shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t know how to respond to that. Feel the same way? No. That couldn’t be possible. Could it?

“Why don’t you go talk to her?” Carol nudged him gently. “It’s a party, after all.”

Daryl hesitated. He wasn’t good with this kind of stuff—feelings, emotions, talking. But as he glanced back at you, standing there, laughing with Maggie and Glenn, he realised that maybe Rick and Carol were right.

You spotted him as he was walking out into the yard, your eyes lighting up as you excused yourself from the conversation and made your way over to him just outside the house.

He could spend the rest of his life admiring you from afar, or he could take a risk.

"I'm goin' out for a smoke," Daryl nods, as he leaves through the back door.

The dim street light reflected the sheen of sweat on his toned bicep, Daryl’s eye locked on you as you made your way over to him. It was hard to see his expression as the setting of the sun glared in your eyes.

His heart pounded in his chest as you approached, every step making him more nervous than he’d ever been facing walkers.

“Hey,” you greeted softly, stopping just in front of him. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Daryl mumbled, avoiding your gaze for a moment before finally looking at you. “You, uh… you look nice.”

You smiled, a hint of surprise flickering in your eyes. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He snorted at that, shaking his head. “Ain’t nothin’ fancy ‘bout me.”

“I like you just the way you are,” you said, your voice soft but sincere.

Daryl’s breath caught in his throat. There it was again—that feeling. The one he’d been trying to ignore for so long. The one that made his heart race whenever you were near. He swallowed hard, unsure of what to say.

Before he could stop himself, the words came tumbling out.

“You ever think about… us?”

Your brow furrowed slightly in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Us,” he repeated, his voice rougher than he intended. “I mean… hell, I dunno. Everyone keeps sayin’… like maybe there’s more. Between us.”

You blinked, processing his words, and for a moment Daryl feared he’d made a huge mistake. But then your expression softened, and you took a small step closer.

“Yeah,” you admitted quietly. “I’ve thought about it. A lot.”

Daryl’s heart stuttered in his chest. “Yeah?”

You nodded, reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from his face. “I thought you’d never say anything.”

“I didn’t think I deserved to,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled at that, and the warmth in your eyes nearly undid him. “You’ve always deserved it, Daryl.”

And with that, the unspoken truth between you finally became clear. You had always been more than just best friends. You had always been each other’s home, in this world of chaos and ruin.

Maybe it was time you both admitted it.

The moment hung between you and Daryl like a fragile thread, one pull away from unraveling everything. His admission still echoed in your ears, making your heart race. You stood in front of him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, your pulse quickening with each second that passed. You could feel the tension—thick, electric—stretching between you, both of you aware that this was a moment you couldn’t come back from.

You swallowed, your throat tight. “Daryl…”

He was still avoiding your gaze, the vulnerability in his expression so foreign it almost took your breath away. Daryl Dixon, the man who had survived everything, was scared—of you, of what this meant. You could see it in the way his hands clenched into fists at his sides, the way his jaw tightened as if he was bracing himself for something he couldn’t control.

But there was something else in his eyes too. Something raw and hungry, something that made your skin tingle.

“Daryl,” you whispered again, softer this time, stepping closer. He didn’t back away. Instead, his blue eyes flickered up to meet yours, and the intensity there sent a shiver down your spine.

Before either of you could think twice, before you could second-guess or push it away, your hands found his jacket, gripping the worn leather like it was the only thing anchoring you to reality. His breath hitched as you closed the distance between you, and in the next heartbeat, your lips were on his.

The kiss was soft at first, tentative—like you were testing the waters, unsure of how far you could go. But the moment his lips moved against yours, the hesitation melted away. Daryl’s hands came up to your waist, pulling you closer as if he’d been holding himself back for too long. The gentle touch of his calloused fingers sent sparks through your skin, making you gasp against his mouth.

That was all the encouragement he needed.

The kiss deepened, his grip tightening around your waist as he pulled you flush against him. The world outside—the party, the people, the chaos—faded into the background until it was just you and Daryl. You could taste the intensity of his need, the years of unspoken words between you bleeding into every brush of your lips. He kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered, like he’d been starving for this—starving for you.

Your heart pounded as you tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging just enough to draw a low, guttural sound from the back of his throat. The noise sent a wave of heat rushing through your body, and suddenly, you wanted more. Needed more.

Daryl seemed to feel the same. His hands slid up your sides, his thumbs brushing the fabric of your dress in a way that made you shiver. He broke the kiss just long enough to look at you, his breath ragged, his eyes dark with want.

“You sure ‘bout this?” he rasped, his voice rough with restraint. His thumb traced slow circles on your hip, as though he was fighting against the very desire that had his body trembling with tension.

In response, you tugged him down again, crashing your lips against his. It wasn’t soft this time. It was all heat and desperation, like you couldn’t get enough of him, like you were trying to make up for all the time you’d spent denying this.

He groaned against your mouth, the sound vibrating through you as his hands gripped your hips harder, pulling you closer. You could feel his body against yours, all hard muscle and heat, and it made your knees weak. Without breaking the kiss, Daryl backed you against the nearest wall, your back pressing against the cool surface as his mouth trailed down your jawline to the sensitive skin of your neck.

“God, Daryl,” you breathed, your fingers clutching his shoulders as he kissed his way down your throat, the rough scrape of his stubble igniting a fire beneath your skin.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his lips swollen from the kiss, his breathing heavy. “I ain’t… I ain’t good at this,” he muttered, his voice low, filled with doubt. But there was a vulnerability there too, a softness that made your heart ache.

You cupped his face in your hands, brushing your thumb along his jawline. “You’re better than you think,” you whispered, leaning in to press another soft kiss to his lips.

The reassurance seemed to break whatever was left of his hesitation. His hands were back on you, running down your sides, his fingers skimming over your dress before gripping your thighs and lifting you up effortlessly. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you could feel every inch of him pressed against you.

Daryl kissed you again, rougher this time, his hands sliding under your dress, fingertips brushing against bare skin. His touch was searing, leaving trails of fire in its wake, and the need pooling in your core only intensified. His body pressed against yours, pinning you against the wall, and you could feel the hard planes of his chest, the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Daryl…” you whispered, your breath hitching as his hands roamed higher, slipping beneath your dress. Every touch sent a shiver of pleasure through you, and you arched against him, craving more of his heat, more of him.

His lips were back on yours, his kiss desperate and demanding. You could feel the tension in his body, the way he held himself back, like he was afraid of losing control. But that was exactly what you wanted—you wanted him to lose control, to let go of all the tension he’d been holding for so long. His hands were gripping your waist, pulling you closer, and the heat between you was undeniable. His breath was heavy against your neck, lips grazing your skin, when—

“Daryl? You out here?” Rick’s voice cut through the air like a bucket of cold water.

Both of you froze, bodies tense and pressed together against the wall. You heard the sound of boots approaching, and panic shot through you. Daryl stepped back quickly, dropping his hands from your waist, but not before Rick rounded the corner, his brows shooting up in surprise.

“Oh, uh—sorry,” Rick said, holding up his hands in a mock surrender, though there was a smirk creeping onto his face. “Didn’t mean to… interrupt.”

Your face flushed red as you adjusted your dress, smoothing it down, while Daryl scrubbed a hand over his face, clearly flustered. His shoulders were still tense, and he shot Rick a look that could’ve melted steel.

Rick, ever the leader, just shrugged. “Deanna’s lookin’ for you two. Figured I’d check out back. Didn’t expect to find… this.”

You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but words failed you. The heat of the moment had been so intense, so all-consuming, that being yanked back to reality felt almost disorienting. Daryl, on the other hand, let out a low grunt, clearly still agitated by the sudden intrusion.

Rick, picking up on the tension, tried to backtrack. “Look, I’ll tell her I couldn’t find you. Give you some more time.”

“No,” you blurted, straightening your back and forcing a shaky laugh. “No, it’s fine. We’ll… we’ll be there in a minute.”

Rick nodded, the smirk still lingering on his lips as he backed away, throwing one last glance at Daryl. “Y’all take your time.”

As soon as he was gone, you and Daryl were left in awkward silence. You dared a glance at him, his eyes still burning with something you couldn’t quite place—frustration, embarrassment, maybe both. He let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head slightly.

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, his voice rougher than usual. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

You swallowed hard, the moment that had felt so heated now replaced with a strange tension. But you managed a small smile, stepping closer and brushing your fingers lightly against his hand. “It’s not your fault.”

His gaze flickered to you, softer now, but still conflicted. He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure what to say next, but before he could speak, you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Come on,” you said, your voice gentle but firm. “Let’s get back inside.”

As you walked back inside, Daryl’s hand brushing yours was a silent promise. The air between you was charged with what had just happened, but there was a new understanding. “We’ll talk later,” you said quietly, and he nodded, a small smile breaking through his earlier tension.

The house was bustling when you walked back in, laughter and music filling the air, the warmth of the party wrapping around you like a blanket. You felt a bit dishevelled, your mind still lingering on what had almost happened out there.

As you stepped inside, you were greeted with knowing looks from your friends. Maggie’s eyes landed on you first, and she exchanged a smirk with Rosita, who was sitting on the couch. Carol and Michonne were nearby, their gazes flicking between you and Daryl, who had taken up his usual stance near the door, trying to stay invisible.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up,” Rosita teased, raising an eyebrow at you. Her eyes darted from you to Daryl, a grin spreading across her face. “You two were gone for a while. Everything okay?”

Your face flushed again, and you glanced at Daryl, who was doing his best to avoid everyone’s eyes. He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, shuffling his feet, and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously.

“Yeah,” you managed, trying to sound casual. “We just… needed some air.”

“Uh-huh,” Maggie drawled, her tone dripping with amusement. “Is that what they call it these days?”

Carol, who had been watching quietly from the side, stepped forward with a soft smile. “Glad you two finally got some air. It’s about time.”

You blinked, unsure of how to respond, but before you could, Michonne chimed in, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. “You two need a map, or did you manage to find your way back okay?”

“Michonne!” you groaned, burying your face in your hands as everyone around you erupted into laughter. Even Rick, who had rejoined the group, couldn’t suppress his grin.

Daryl, still standing off to the side, cleared his throat awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with all the attention. But there was a faint, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You alright, Daryl?” Rick asked, his voice teasing but with genuine care beneath it.

Daryl grunted in response, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ain’t nothin’,” he muttered, but his eyes briefly flicked to you, and the tension between you was still there, simmering beneath the surface.

Rosita, never one to miss a beat, leaned back on the couch and sighed dramatically. “Well, if that’s what fresh air does, maybe we should all get some.”

Laughter rippled through the group again, and this time, you couldn’t help but laugh with them. The teasing, though relentless, was filled with warmth, and you felt a sense of relief wash over you. They weren’t judging you—they were happy. Happy that, after everything, you and Daryl had finally taken a step toward something more.

Carol caught your eye, her smile gentle as ever. “Don’t let us embarrass you too much. We’re just glad you both finally stopped dancing around it.”

As the laughter subsided, you and Daryl exchanged a look that spoke volumes. It wasn’t the end of the conversation, but it was a start. You reached out, gently touching his arm, and he responded with a nod. In the midst of the party’s warmth, there was a new, tentative promise between you—an acknowledgment of all the unspoken truths that had simmered between you for so long.

There was a new, tentative promise between you—a promise to face the unspoken truths head-on. It was a promise of more conversations, more moments, and perhaps, the start of a deeper connection where everything that had remained unsaid would finally have a place.

[vigilante24ish]

A Thorn By Thy Side

Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader

[A/N] - This story sounded better in my mind. Yet again, I might be a harsh critic of myself. So, I will let you all decide if you like it and if I will continue.

Summary:

Your parents were seasoned Shield Agents who perished in the line of duty when you were younger. They left you at their place, and Shield quickly recruited, trained and perfected you into one of their best agents. Following in their footsteps, the mission was easy enough for you; the percentage of your successes few could match. So, it was not a surprise when Director Fury entrusted you with a team to capture a very dangerous target... the Succubus Witch Agatha Harkness. Or A short story in which Agatha eventually develops a personal interest in you after realising why you are so difficult to get rid of.

Word Count: 2548

Chapter 1:

The Shield HQ was rather busy that particular day, with many agents being called back from their missions or short vacations to focus on more important issues. After the last terrorist attack on New York, the world was on edge and rightfully so.

It was one thing to handle internal threats, human to human and something completely different when you had to handle extraterrestrial beings and, apparently, gods. One would think with the newly formed Avengers, things would quickly turn back to normal, but they were also busy with different kinds of missions to handle.

You had grabbed the past few days that the focus was on the Avengers to get some alone time, something rare in your line of duty. Yet that alone time had brought you back to the only place you knew and dared to call home.

Being an orphan was tough, and being the orphan child of seasoned, skilled agents was tougher. Back then, you did not understand why they took risks and ended up leaving you all alone, but today, you understand.

As you stared at the memorial dedicated to all fallen agents, you could not help but let your eyes remain longer on the engraved names of your parents. The marble structure reflected your reflection, and you wondered what they would think of you, seeing you following their footsteps with the same insanity and dedication they apparently had.

Sometimes, when the lobby emptied, you would come and faintly talk to them, for there was no true grave and no bodies for you to see. That particular day, you just felt like visiting them, even if no words would be exchanged.

The sound of footsteps against the tile floor caught your attention, eyes narrowing faintly as you focused on their speed. Despite the people passing around you, your training allowed you to detect certain pairs you had been told to always look out for.

This pair was heavy, long strides that emitted confidence, and you knew of only one person walking in such a way. Your suspicions were proven correct when you heard a male voice close by.

“Thought I would find you here.”

You did not turn to face the visitor, their dark-skinned reflection visible on the marble memorial. “Director Fury,” you greeted him. “Am I becoming that predictable?”

“To some of us, you are. Don’t think of it as a bad thing. Makes it less of a hustle to find when I need you,” he responded, not commenting on your lack of eye contact. “I have a mission for you.”

Now that he had captured your interest, you finally graced him by turning to face him. Your gazes locked. “So soon?”

It was not long since you had come from a rather dangerous mission in Russia, tasked with infiltrating a Hydra Terrorist Cell. The mission was a success, but it cost you men and many days of life. Not to mention, you came more than once close to joining your parents on that grim memorial.

“This cannot wait any longer. Follow me,” he said and started to walk, knowing too well you would follow him without him having to repeat everything.

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When you entered his office, you remained standing while you got comfortable on his director's chair behind the desk. He tapped something on the holographic screen, and the information was projected up, allowing you to see it in detail.

You took notice of a woman, her face popping up in different pictures across different times; no sign of ageing, and you doubted all those women were just descendants of one another. Your attention went to different articles and secret memos, all around big catastrophes that had taken place in the last century.

“We have been monitoring unusual cases long before the New York invasion. Just in case it was Hydra trying to mess up again,” Fury started to explain, tapping a few things on the pad. “What we found recently was the fact that all big catastrophes had one thing in common; this woman, Agatha Harkness.”

You took a few steps closer, fingers stretching as you tried to read the ever-shifting articles. You frowned as you realized what situation your director was discussing.

The Twin Towers, Chornobyl, the Gas Explosion in 1966... even the Titanic was listed.

“Are we sure this is the same woman? How can she even be responsible for all of those events?” you asked, adverting your attention to the dark-skinned man.

“She has been spotted in every single one, and I know she is behind it. So, unless she is some sort of Grim Reaper waiting to do her job, I say she had been causing them.”

Your next question sounded dumb even in your head, but over the years, you had developed the skill of not really caring and simply speaking what you wanted. “Do we know why?”

“If you ask me, I say she has some sadistic motive, or she simply enjoys causing chaos and death. Wouldn’t be the first one,” Fury said as he pressed something,g and all the holograms disappeared. “But in order to make sure, we need to capture and interrogate her. Perhaps stop her from causing yet another mess with hundreds of casualties.”

“I understand. But why ask me and not someone else? Why not the Avengers?”

“The Avengers are busy as we speak, and I am not sending you there alone. You will take a small team and go capture this bitch before it's too late.”

“Yeah, but why me?” you asked again, not liking how he avoided your question in the first place.

Fury leaned forward, his face as serious as it could get. “Because if words are true, Agatha Harkness falls under the category of a Witch.”

That new piece of information made you part your lips in surprise, not expecting such an answer. Yet, you found no further comments or questions; Fury’s answer was more than enough for you at the moment.

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It was a small team consisting of five agents in total, including you. You had worked with them quite a few times before, and you knew each other well enough for the mission to go smoothly.

The plan was simple.

Agatha had been also associated with quite a few missing person reports, women who allegedly followed her in search of a mystical road and never returned. So, what better way to approach and isolate her than by arranging a meeting with an interested-to-the-road woman.

The meeting would occur in a small forested area, away from the nearest little town, to ensure no casualties or curious passersby. Fury wanted this to be done silently and quickly, to capture and leave.

You waited for a while in a small clearing, hands in the pockets of your civilian clothing. Your team had been camouflaged and positioned close by, tranquiliser darts and nets ready to be used upon being given the command.

At last, you felt you were no longer alone, and you adverted your gaze towards the source of crushed leaves, getting a first close look at the famous Agatha Harkness. You inhaled faintly, realizing that the pictures taken of her did her little to no justice regarding her beauty.

The thick, slightly curled dark brown hair, those pink lips, and you could not even start talking about her piercing blue eyes.

If she truly did look like this, it was no wonder women willingly trusted and followed her blindly to their dooms.

“You are alone,” Agatha pointed out, clearly unhappy. “Where are the others?”

You had managed to fake an invite, informing you had other women interested in the Road; which was perhaps what had made her come in the first place.

“They are a little bit late. They should arrive soon,” you skilfully lied, offering a charming smile to throw away any suspicions she might have started to form about you.

Agatha did not truly like the answer. She was not a big fan of having her plans changed, even though she could easily improvise in worst-case scenarios.

“Is that so?” the witch questioned, taking a few confident steps towards you.

Unbeknown to her, this was what you wanted as she openly became an easier target for your team.

Your hand lazily moved towards your head, pushing a few strands behind your ears as your skilful fingers pressed on the little earpiece hidden there. “Fire.”

The order did not have to be repeated as your team made their move, guns up and aim stable. The first wave came for Agatha fast, tranquillized darts aimed for her neck and face, intended to bring her down without much of a fight.

Of course, Agatha was not a novice witch, and it was not the first time someone had tried to sneakily attack her. Her purple magic came alive and quickly stopped the little darts in mid-air, preventing them from harming her. She narrowed her blue eyes, and with a wave of her hands, she sent those pesky darts back to their senders, forcing the hidden agents to move to avoid getting hit.

At the same time, you pulled your sleeve up and exposed the little gadget wrapped around your wrist. Blue light glowed, and you steadied your aim before shooting a few thin projectiles packed with enough electricity to stunt a simple human with ease.

That little accessory had been a prototype, a gift from Natasha after you two spent a few months as prisoners. Your teamwork made it possible not only to escape but eventually take down your original target. Admiring your courage and your skill, she agreed and helped you get a prototype version of her spider bites, a gift that had saved your life more than once in a mission.

Agatha similarly used her magic, blocking your little attempt to take her down, only to see you smirking and giving yet another order. Before she could comprehend or prepare herself, you started shooting again, keeping her busy until it was too late.

A heavy net came from her blind side, the weighted edges pinning her to the ground as the steel cables that formed it pressed her down.

You smirked in satisfaction and covered your little gadget as your team started to walk carefully towards the trapped target, guns up and aimed at her.

“Call Fury, tell him the mission was a success,” you ordered one of the agents, one hand on your waist.

Agatha started to cackle, for a moment truly reminding you of those children's stories about evil witches who pursued children.

“Oh, how cute. You really think it would be so easy to take me down, hon?” she asked, fully confident despite being trapped by the net.

Before you could order the electricity to begin, you watched with wide eyes as Agatha dissolved into purple smoke and disappeared from where she was originally trapped.

“What?” you exclaimed, quickly looking around as her cackle echoed across the quiet clearing. “Keep your guards up. Change to stun bullets, now!”

Agatha appeared in the same purple smoke, right behind an agent. One hand was placed on her shoulder and the other on his head. His eyes changed to purple as she easily influenced his weak mind, ordering him to lift his gun and aim at his comrades.

The first shot grabbed your attention, a female agent close by falling unconscious on the ground; the stunt bullet glowing faintly as it paralyzed her nervous and mobility system.

“Agent, stand down!” you ordered even though you doubted your words would pass through, not after spotting his usual brown eyes having changed to a bright purple. “Stand down!”

Realizing this would get you nowhere, you prepare and shoot two spider bites at him, just as another agent shot him with the same stunt bullet. The hypnotized agent attacked as well, taking down his comrade before succumbing to the combined attacks.

“Oh, this is pathetic,” Agatha comments as you spot her leaning against a tree. “I mean, I had been attacked before, but this... so pathetic.”

Your eyes blaze with anger, and you dare to pull the gun you had hidden in your back pant pocket. “Orders say to get you alive, not unharmed,” you say and remove the safety. “Last chance, Harkness. Come at peace or come bloodied.”

Agatha laughed at your brave words, finding your attempt to sound threatening both stupid and adorable. What she did not know was that you were simply buying time for your last team member to make his move.

Before Agatha knew it, she felt the sharp pain on her back as the stunt bullet threatened to bring her down, having failed to spot the silent agent standing two feet behind her. He was ready to attack her again, ensuring she would go down, but the Witch had other plans in mind.

The stunt bullet did pack quite a punch, and if she was a normal, weak human, she knew she would be on the ground by now. But she was Agatha Harkness, one of the most powerful witches to ever leave, and no stupid invention would take her down.

Deciding to put an end to this, Agatha’s eyes flashed purple with magic, and all it took was one swing of her hand for her magic to attack the agent from point-blank range. The force was strong enough to send him back, his body crashing against a tree, his neck breaking upon impact.

You watched with wide eyes at the attack, and by instinct alone, you started to shoot, only for the same purple magic to block your bullets.

“Haven’t you learnt anything so far?” Agatha questioned. “Let me give you a quick reminder.”

You saw the gathered amount of her purple magic heading your way, concentrated into a blast that crashed against your chest and stole the air from your lungs. The force sent you flying back, the ground rough against your landing, pieces of dirt scratching your clothes.

That blast should have killed you or knocked you down, yet you could still feel your heart pumping and your brain working. Your fingers twitched, and you could hear Agatha’s footsteps through half-open eyelids as she approached you.

When she was close enough to inspect if you had perished like you had to, you opened your eyes and went for the attack. You brought your legs, and with newfound energy, you kicked the side of her knees, causing her to fall to the ground rather ungracefully.

You crawled back, and once you had enough space and time, you jumped on your legs, wiping some dirt from the corner of your lips. Your chest heaved faintly as adrenaline finally rushed through your veins... veins that seemed to have grown paler against your skin.

“How?” Agatha exclaimed as she pushed her thick locks out of the way, her dark-painted fingers catching your attention. “Never mind, that!”

Another blast of purple magic was thrown your way, but this time, you were prepared. Bringing your hands up, you formed an X that protected your face and neck.

Chapter 2

[sturnioloskyline]

Idk if your right something like this but I’d find it so silly if you could! So the idea is Matts girlfriend and she’s has ADHD and she like vocal stims a lot when she’s comfortable around people,and she’s always saying the most outrageous things she hears from TikTok’s as a vocal stim ( I can’t go a second with out going “ hundred bans in my panties” because the cortisa star song that’s on my fyp but you can do any TikTok sound!) And she’s like either whispering it or yelling it when she deems it to quite around her! Or something of the sorts if you don’t do this it’s totally ok! Have a wonderful day/night! 🤍💙

blurt out

pairing: matt x fem!adhd!reader

warnings: language, adhd(obv), stimming, cheesy fluff, not proofread

summary: whenever there’s a catchy audio on tiktok, it somehow becomes one of your stims.

disclaimer: i am by no means romanticizing adhd. some of this is slightly based off of my own experiences with being neurodivergent, but i also did some research online, so i apologize if anything is inaccurate!

matt was incredibly understanding and supportive when it came to your adhd. when you first started dating, you were so nervous to tell him, and would mask it all the time around him. but as your relationship progressed, you realized that matt would never judge you or think of you any differently for your adhd.

so you became a lot more open about your adhd, and to be honest, matt loved it. he loved when you told him about your hyperfixations, and he adored the way you’d try to focus so hard while he spoke to you.

after a few months of dating, matt and his brothers had grown completely used to your adhd symptoms. they understood that your short attention span and fidgeting were just parts of what made you you, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

this particular day, nick had suggested that you join them as a special guest for their next car video. you were sitting in the passenger seat of the car, waiting for matt to check the camera angle. chris sat behind you in the backseat, with nick to his side.

you watched as matt stood in front of the minivan, bending slightly over the hood to get a good look at the viewfinder of the camera. he gestured to the left, and you reached out to the dashboard to adjust the camera's position. matt gave you a thumbs up and made his way back to the driver's seat.

"okay, looks good," matt said as he got in the car. he smiled at you warmly, wanting to provide you with a sense of comfort. this was the first video of theirs that you would ever be in, so it was safe to say that you were a bit nervous.

"alright. hey guys, happy friday," nick addressed the camera, leaning forward so he was farther in frame. "today we have a special guest."

you smiled and waved at the camera, glancing at matt who just grinned.

"this is matt's girlfriend, y/n," nick explained. chris let out a cheer, causing you all to laugh. "we're gonna do a q&a with y/n using questions that you guys sent us on instagram."

nick pulled out his phone and began to scroll through the thousands of answers to the triplets' instagram story, searching for a good starter. you looked back at him expectantly before something shiny next to chris caught your attention.

"what's that?" you asked chris, pointing to the can that was in the cupholder next to him. chris pulled it out, scanning the label.

"uhh, it's peach redbull," chris shrugged.

"oh my god, can i please have it?" you asked excitedly. matt chuckled as chris handed you the can, which you immediately grabbed and cracked open. you took a sip and let out a sigh, smiling and setting the can down in the cupholders between you and matt.

"okay first question," nick said, sticking his hand out to grab everyone's attention. "what's it like dating a triplet?"

"um..." you looked out the window, thinking about how you wanted to answer. "i mean, it's like dating any other person, just with triplet brothers? yeah, i guess you could say it's different, because i hang out with you guys all time, but that doesn't mean that me and matt don't like, have our own little moments. but being a triplet doesn't really change anything much. this way i get a boyfriend plus two built-in best friends, which is cool. but me and matt have a pretty normal, average relationship."

you blushed with self-consciousness as you realized you were rambling, quickly shutting your mouth and ending your rant with a quick nod. matt found your word vomit adorable, however, bringing his hand close to your knee, lightly brushing it with his knuckles out of view from the camera. you smiled softly at the reassurance.

nick scrolled through and asked a few more questions, occasionally interrupted by a random tangent that chris went on or something that caught matt's eye through the widow. the video ended up growing longer as the four of you jumped from topic to topic. it was as if you just couldn't stop talking, all of you interrupting each other excitedly and laughing loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear. you grew much more comfortable, slightly forgetting that you were even on camera.

while nick returned to his phone to look for more questions, you, matt and chris were silently communicating. the three of you passed looks to each other, holding back fits of laughter.

"okay, someone asked what you like to—"

"head so good she on honor roll," you blurted out loudly, interrupting nick. the car went silent as you clapped your hand over your mouth, glancing over the camera.

chris erupted into giggles, causing matt to join him. nick started chuckling too.

"sorry! that song is literally all over my for you page right now," you apologized, laughing slightly out of embarrassment. that song had been all you were hearing for the past week, so naturally it worked its way into becoming one of your vocal stims.

"you're fine, y/n. let's move on," nick rolled his eyes at his brothers, who were smacking each other out of laughter.

...

author's note: been a busy week, will post way more on the weekend i promise. also, would it be more fun if i posted one fic every monday, wednesday, and friday? lmk! love u guys 🤍

[feybarn]

And I return with some ghost Obi. Thanks @queenaelinwildfire!

Spinning off of Sparky, ghost Obi haunting Jango Ooo bonus points if it’s smol obi wan

When the boy first appeared, Jango had been sure it’d been the spice. Hallucinations were hardly new and the young boy who stared at him with frightened eyes was hardly the strangest thing he saw. In fact, the boy who whispered warnings about when the slavers were coming, and told him that Neeva—the young togruta girl a few slaves down—was dying, and told him stories about men in white armor who died forgotten heroes, was perhaps the kindest hallucination that Jango experienced.

Except the boy didn’t go away. Not when Jango killed the slavers. Not when Jango detoxed. Not when Jango left behind all but the scars of his time with the slavers.

Jango hadn’t quite believed in ghosts before, but he had no other explanation for the boy that followed him unerringly from the slavers’ ship to Concord Dawn to the ugly, worn down ship he eventually acquired.

“You have a reason for haunting me, kid?” he asked.

The boy frowned. His hand came to his neck where a collar rested.

Jango had tried not to think about that particular accessory too much.

“I don’t know,” the boy admitted. “I… I don’t remember how I got here.”

Jango was going to guess that the answer included ‘dying’. “You need help moving on?” Jango asked. Though he had no idea how he would help some ghost move on. Jaster would have, though.

Jango blocked out the thought.

“I don’t know,” the boy admitted. “I don’t think so. I think I’m here for a reason.”

Great. A reason. That explained so much. “What’s your name?”

The boy’s brow furrowed. “I… I don’t know.” The boy sounded alarmed, as though he’d just realized he didn’t have a name.

Well, there went trying to track down where the boy had come from. All Jango had to go on was the rough mining clothes the boy was wearing, several sizes too large for him, and the collar around his neck.

Mining colonies weren’t exactly sparse in this galaxy. Even narrowing it down to mining colonies that used slavery didn’t help.

The Republic might claim that slavery was outlawed, but that didn’t mean much, Jango had discovered.

“Do you have a name you want me to call you?” Jango asked, because while Jango could keep calling him ‘the boy’ it seemed…

Wrong.

If Myles were here, Myles would have already named the kid. It’d probably have been something meaningful and well thought out.

If Silas were here, he’d have helped the kid come up with a name on his own. He’d have turned it into a game, until the kid didn’t even remember he was upset.

If Jaster were here…

Jango tried not to think about what Jaster would have done.

The boy frowned and Jango could tell he was thinking. “Obi,” the boy said finally. “I think… I think I like Obi.” 

“Obi,” Jango agreed. He wondered if it was the kid’s actual name, hidden in the depths of his mind. “You going to keep following me around?”

Obi tilted his head. “I think so. I don’t want you to be alone.” Obi’s gaze was piercing. “Are you going to go home?” he asked. “Now that you’re free?”

Jango swallowed. “I don’t have a home to go to.”

Obi’s eyes echoed with a terrible sadness. “You’re afraid.”

Jango closed his eyes. “You wouldn’t understand,” he said, words coming out short. 

“Sometimes I dream I can’t go home either,” Obi whispered. “In the dream, I want the desert sands to strip me to my bones.”

Jango flinched, but added the piece of information to the possibility of where Obi had come from. Though, there were a spare few mining colonies on desert planets. The combination was rarely conducive to the most valuable of mining operations.

“It’s not the same kid.”

Obi stared at him. “I think they’d want you to come back.” His hand rubbed at the metal collar around his neck again. “Wherever home is. They… they probably miss you.”

Jango scoffed. He’d gotten so many of their people killed, the ones that remained could hardly want him back. “Not likely, kid.”

“In my dreams, they died because of me,” Obi whispered.

Apparently being a ghost made the kid telepathic. Jango was not a fan. But it was… it was a kid, a dead kid. Jango didn’t have the heart to try to get rid of him, unless it was to bring him home.

“Just a dream, kid.”

Obi looked away. “What if it’s not? Do… do we never get to go home?”

Jango sighed. “Come on, let me teach you how to navigate in and out of hyperspace.” He’d noticed that the kid looked like he enjoyed watching Jango in the cockpit. Sure, the kid would never need the skills himself, being dead and all, but Jango didn’t know what else to do with the dead kid that was stuck with Jango.

Obi nodded, following Jango back to the cockpit. It was the end of the conversation.

Or it should have been. 

The question haunted Jango as the months passed. Would he ever get to go home? With the sins that weighed so heavy on his shoulders? It’d been years. Years as a slave and now nearly a year free.

He looked at Obi, who hadn’t aged since the day he’d found Jango in the hull of the slave ship. Just a kid. Always a kid. A dead kid that couldn’t go home. Whose closest thing to home was Jango and Jango’s ship.

Jango had been determined not to think of it, of what he’d lost, of what was gone, of what he could never allow himself to have again.

Do we never get to go home?

Was that why the kid was stuck as a ghost? Had he told himself he was never allowed to go home? Had he trapped himself in some sort of eternal punishment.

Jango had never heard of it happening before, but he wasn’t a scholar, and this universe was full of things stranger than Jango could believe.

Do we never get to go home?

Was that why the kid had found him? Because he saw Jango’s punishment as his own?

Because this life Jango lived now, constantly chasing the next bounty, with nothing but a ghost at his side… was it a life? Was Jango just as much a ghost as the dead kid that haunted him.

“Where are we going next?” Obi asked when the next hunt finished.

Jango stared at the controls on the cockpit’s dashboard.

Do we never get to go home?

Did he? 

The kid needed a home. Jango… Jango couldn’t give him the one he’d been taken from. But…

“Concord Dawn,” he said.

“Where’s that?” Obi asked. “Is there a hunt there?”

Jango shook his head. “No, kid. We’re going home.”

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Silver - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Silver: The National Art Museum of the Land of Dawning is much larger than I had expected…

Silver: I would like to properly peruse every single work of art here. It would be nice if I do not drowse off…

???: This is a painting of a prince and princess dancing hand-in-hand in the castle hall… What a beautiful sight. I can certainly see why it would be a well-known painting.

Silver: I know this painting well. This same scene was depicted in a book I used to read all the time when I was a child.

Azul: Oh, hello, Silver-san. Are you partial to this particular tale?

Silver: That's correct. Among the piles of picture books my father would bring home to me from his travels, there was one that held this story.

Silver: I had grown to admire the prince, who would fend off his foes with his sword, that I had read it countless times.

Silver: There was a time I thought that perhaps I could develop a training regimen off of this scene, so I attempted to dance as he did.

Azul: Hmhm, so you looked to emulate the prince from the story.

Silver: Yeah, at the time, I believed that in order to grow even stronger, I would also need to learn how to dance.

Silver: I would prepare a dressed log as my partner and spin around in circles…

Silver: I would practice tirelessly while some forest critters would look on.

Azul: You used a log as your partner…? Well, I suppose that would train up your muscles.

Silver: True, it may have resulted in some actual muscle training. And well, it did provide me with an opportunity to improve my dancing.

Azul: Eh!? Dancing with the log did?

Silver: Ah, no. My father saw I was trying to dance, and asked a certain person to teach me properly…

Silver: That person said, "A fine opportunity for you both to learn to dance." My father and I ended up both receiving instruction.

Silver: It was only for one day, but it was a fantastic lesson.

Azul: I wouldn't think that only a single day of practice would allow you to increase your dancing ability…

Silver: Do you think so? I always believed that I had improved much thanks to that single day.

Silver: I ended up having a wonderful time while dancing, and during the middle of it all, all of us couldn't help but laugh and enjoy ourselves.

Silver: Before I had realized it, we were standing beneath a starry night sky. We were having such a good time that none of us had noticed how much time had flown by.

Azul: Hm. Well, they do say that enjoying something is the quickest way to improve yours skillset, so perhaps that is why.

Silver: Yeah. Toward the end, my father started to dance some moves I had never seen before, so we tried practicing that as well.

Silver: But it was a rather difficult dance, with footwork and headbanging too quick for the eyes to follow. We did our best to follow but to no avail.

Azul: Footwork and… headbanging? I feel as though that has drifted further and further away from the prince's dance you were initially studying.

Silver: Not at all. I am sure that training also contributed to improving my dance ability.

Silver: I truly did feel thankful that I had received the lessons that I did, when I attended the party on campus.

Silver: If there is ever another opportunity in the future, I would like to be able to dance with everyone.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Silver: This is a painting of the Sea Witch. I heard that she would help merpeople in need… However...

Azul: It is also said that she would grow to enormous size in order to reprimand any merfolk who broke their contracts.

Azul: That she would strictly admonish dishonest people in order to better them just shows yet another aspect of her overwhelming compassion.

Silver: The strictness is to help them improve… Ah, I understand now.

Silver: Azul… I would like to ask you one thing, but are you any good at alchemy?

Azul: Alchemy? Yes, I would say it is one of my best subjects. What about it?

Silver: To tell you the truth… I do not do well in alchemy.

Silver: I have a hard time staying awake, not only in the lecture portions of the class, but also during practical applications…

Silver: I've over-heated ingredients, burnt cauldrons, and caused numerous other concoction failures.

Silver: If this were to continue, it could result in a terrible accident one day.

Silver: That is why I try to take more care in this class than I do in others… But I only continue to fail.

Azul: …I see? Well, that sounds like quite a predicament! If you'd like, I would happily listen to your woes!

Silver: So you'll hear me out? This is about what happened in alchemy class last week.

Silver: That day, I was able to weigh out the ingredients, adjust the heat properly, and even concocted the potion to the textbook specifications.

Silver: The final result was exactly what was asked of me.

Silver: I was even proud of myself for receiving a "Good Boy" from Crewel-sensei… Or so I thought.

Azul: Hmm…? But that's not the whole story, I presume?

Silver: Right. When I opened my eyes, there was no potion in my hands.

Silver: Instead, Crewel-sensei was standing before me with a furious look. "I see the little mongrel has finally awoken." He said.

Azul: Ah. I think I see where this is going.

Silver: I had fallen asleep again. My successful potion was all a dream.

Silver: In actuality, it seems I had almost fallen head-first into the cauldron as soon as we were to begin concocting the potion.

Silver: Crewel-sensei had decided that it would be dangerous to allow me to continue and carried me back to my seat…

Silver: And I was sound asleep until class ended.

Azul: It seems your drowsiness is a much more formidable foe than I had understood it to be…

Azul: I will gladly see if I can find any way for me to help!

Silver: It's enough for me that you were hear to listen. This is all due to my own shortcomings.

Silver: I'll have to take better care in the future so I may repay Crewel-sensei for his sincere admonishment.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Azul: Oh, my. There's a painting of the Lord of the Underworld on display here.

Silver: If I recall correctly, he would often use a board game map to plan and explain his strategies to his forces.

Silver: I wonder if board games are truly a useful way to share information?

Azul: Perhaps he, like myself, would use those board games to inspire new ideas.

Silver: Inspire new ideas…?

Azul: Board games can quickly change situations from turn to turn, which in turn allows one to cultivate their adaptability.

Azul: Not only is that a useful skill for everyday troubles, but also for business management.

Silver: I see… So it is a type of training in its own right. I can understand why the Lord of the Underworld used it as well, now.

Azul: If it piques your interest, why not come and visit the Board Game Club sometime? You would always be welcome.

Silver: Is that so…? True, there are often times that I've had to make snap decisions while performing my guard duties. It may be wise to stop by for a visit.

Silver: I don't really have much experience with it, but are a majority of games played with two people like chess?

Azul: There are such games, yes, but… There are also many that allow for a larger group to enjoy themselves.

Azul: There are 3D puzzle games, in which you try to fit the pieces into a frame, or real estate trading games, in which you try to increase your assets...

Azul: I suppose an easy game that anyone could pick up would be one where you would roll a die and do whatever task given on the space you land on.

Silver: What sort of tasks would those be?

Azul: It could require them to imitate the person beside them, or drink horrible-tasting juice… My clubmates do seem to enjoy that sort of thing.

Silver: I see, so those sorts of board games exist.

Silver: That could be a viable method…

Azul: A method? For what?

Silver: I just thought that if we were to change the theme of those games, it could also be used for training purposes.

Silver: For example, if we were to have the player's tasks be "20 finger push-ups" or "100 squats."

Azul: …Are you serious?

Silver: Yeah. I often hear people say that they find it difficult to train individually.

Silver: However, if many people were to work together, I am sure they could enjoy their workout.

Silver: Whenever it rains, we in the Equestrian Club are limited in what activities we can perform.

Silver: On those days, we often resort to training individually.

Silver: So I thought that if we all played a board game together, we could enjoy that exercise together.

Azul: You've come up with such a harsh training regimen while keeping such a virtuous mindset… I find you're as cunning as they come, Silver-san.

Silver: Oh, right, when I finish the prototype, would you like to join…

Azul: Ah, pardon me. Look at the time…. I should be on my way!

Silver: I appreciate you staying to talk with me. Now, I think I'll head to the next exhibit… Ah!

Silver: This is a painting of the Thorn Which after she transformed into a dragon… I've always wanted to see this artwork.

Silver: …This wasn't part of a dream, this really happened.

Silver: What overwhelming power… I must be diligent in my training so as to not falter before a foe that could be as mighty as her.

Requested by @dida-books.

[katerinaaqu]

Heyo!

I don't know how exactly to phrase this but I was wondering if you know anything about Odysseus trying/planing to kill Diomedes while they were stealing the Palladium. I have heard some people say that Odysseus did try to kill Diomedes while doing so but Diomedes noticed him so Odysseus stopped.

This feels so strange to me as Odysseus and Diomedes aren’t antagonistic in the Illiad and Diomedes is loved by Athena like Odysseus so betraying him, especially for hubris, seems like a good way to end up on Athena's bad side.

Also the translated summaries of Little Illiad I know don't mention it either but I know those translations can be missing out context. I suspect the Odysseus Betrayal is a "later adition" to the Epic Cycle but I am not that confident on that opinion.

Yes absolutely and I understand completely what you say. That is because the Palladium Heist betrayal story was peobably not part of the original epic cycle but rather a later adittion. More specifically through the work called Bibliotheca by Photius I, the ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinopole in 9th century seems to be mentioning in his work a Roman mythographer named Conon.

Conon lived and created during the times of Augustus. It seems that he is one of the oldest if not the oldest mythographer to ever mention this story. So the story quoted by Photius goes as such;

Basically after the revelation of Helen's Diomedes and Odysseus enter the city. Odysseus helps Diomedes on his shoulders so that he could climb but when he reaches out his hand Diomedes doesn't take him in and goes for the Palladium himself. When he comes back apparently Odysseus asks him on it and, according to Photius who quotes Conon, Diomedes "knows his cunning" and says that he didn't find it. That a spirit stole it and that he has another one. Odysseus realizes he is lying so he eventually draws his sword to kill Diomedes and take the Palladium to the Greeks himself. Apparently as he goes to stab Diomedes in the back, his sword casts a shadow by the moonlight or the glint of the weapon, Diomedes sees it and deflects him. He draws his own sword and threatens Odysseus with it wishing to "punish him for his cowardice" but eventually he decides otherwise (arguably knowing that the war needs him) and thus he drives him back to the camp while hitting him on his back with the flat of his sword. And according to Photius this is what gave the famous phrase to Greek language διομήδεια ανάγκη (Diomedes Need) which basically means "do something unpleasant out of necessity for the greater good"

So as you see the story does seem pretty bizarre. First it implies mutual distrust and rivalry between the homeric heroes for Diomedes doesn't take Odysseus in the temple, Odysseus asks him on the Palladium obviously with intention to steal it and Diomedes lying to him and of course the actual act. For starters Odysseus ready to kill Diomedes for the sakes of fame (while he literally saves his life in the Iliad) and not only that, be greedy and stupid enough to hold a sword to the moonlight. So it holds many contradictions to the entirety of Epic Cycle even Iliou Persis which also shows a more unpleasant side of Odysseus.

My guess is that the story is mostly linked to traditions of later years especially Roman sources and is not directly linked to the Epic Cycle. Even art of later years doesn't depict the Palladium Heist as a negative aura between the two heroes. If anything they seem to be cooperating just fine. And as I said this myth as told by Conon shows BOTH Diomedes and Odysseus as rivals and equally antagonizing and deceiving each other which doesn't usually appear to the Epic Cycle. Although of course we cannot be 100% sure given how the Epic Cycle is lost, it seems to me more like a roman legend that usually depict Greek heroes of Troy in general and Odysseus in particular, in the most negative light possible given how Odysseus is known for taking Troy, the mythical city of origin to the Romans (given how Aeneas who barely escapes with his life from Troy is the ancestor of the founders of Rome)

I hope this answers your question; to summarize it seems to me that this story of the Palladium Heist has as much connection to the Epic Cycle as Ovid has to Medusa legend; seems more like a version either created or told by Conon based on traditions of his time and the general anti-Odysseus climate.

[achromatophoric]

Wenclair Week - Day 1: Proposal

Wednesday: Tanaka, explain to me why Kent must masquerade as my— *grits teeth* —husband?

Yoko: *glances at Kent, who looks about the casino in wonder*

Yoko: He’s the closest dude in our group to Woody Harrelson.

Wednesday: *glares expectantly*

Yoko: Right, negative pop culture knowledge. Look, so there’s this old flick from 1993, Indecent Proposal. Stirred up controversy back in the day, had people all riled up about—

Wednesday: *waits for something relevant*

Yoko: *eye roll* Fine. So like—Enid and I watched it back in high school and even though she wouldn’t admit it for years, she thought the premise was hot as fuck.

Wednesday: Get to the point about THIS— *holds up her ringed hand* —particular absurdity.

Yoko: Bitch, I was just getting to that! The premise is that some hot strange offers this troubled married couple an indecent proposal.

Wednesday: And did this proposal deserve to be eponymous?

Yoko: Well, back in the day it was like—absolute filth. Nowadays? More fifty shades of meh.

Wednesday: My interest wanes.

Yoko: Damnit Addams, just—shit!

Yoko: *turns* KENT! Get away from those slots! Divina said I’m allowed to beat the scales off you if you touch even one machine!

Kent: *sheepishly backs away* Sorry, dude!

Yoko: *mutters* I knew we should’ve gone with Ajax.

Wednesday: He wouldn’t have survived the ride here.

Yoko: Uh huh. Anyhow, that proposal. Long story short, rich hot dude propositions the wife to do the deed. Reluctance, temptation, blah blah adultery blah—and they bang.

Wednesday: *flat sarcasm* How Shakespearean.

Yoko: Har har. Look, this bit of sexy role-play is for Enid, and I know for a fact that you’ll do anything for her, so you can cut the complaints.

Wednesday: *grunts*

Yoko: Okay, so we’re almost to her table. Do you remember your character?

Wednesday: *sighs* Diana Murphy, real estate agent and disillusioned wife, portrayed by Dewmi More.

Yoko: *pinches bridge of nose* For Vlad’s sake—It’s Demi Moore!

Wednesday: Whatever. *snatches Kent’s hand and drags him to the table* Come along, David. Let’s get this over wi—

The seer nearly stumbles upon spotting Enid at the blackjack table. The werewolf rises to greet Wednesday, cutting a sharp and masculine figure in her tightly-fitted suit and tousled hair.

Enid: *introduces herself with a subtle growl* John Gage.

Kent: David Murphy. And uh—this is my wife—

Wednesday: Do me more. *blinks* Ah… my name is—it’s do me—I mean pleased to do me—more?

Wednesday: *proceeds to girl fail spectacularly*

Yoko: 😎

[thefandomdirtymind]

Shiny offering

OPLA - Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji Series - NSFW The small favor

A/N IMPORTANT: I am the little weirdo who's like crows and though that a pirate with a crow would be really cool. So, I'm really sorry if you're scare of bird, but I hope you will find the story funny because I have a lot of fun with it and my new obsession for this man.

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.  

If you enjoy my story please let me know.

---

Sanji never had a particular interest in birds. At least not living ones. Once featherless, beheaded and ready to be cooked. He, of course, has a lot of thoughts and recipes about how to prepare them, each idea more delicious than the other. 

But, as the Crow expanded his wings and flew above him for the fifth time that day. He started to wonder if the black bird meat would taste more like chicken and then, be better in a rotisserie kind of dish, or would it be surprisingly more delicate, like the duck. 

A mystery he would probably never know even if he could. Or if he did, not with this precise bird. Because, even if the blond never had a thought about the feathered animal, he has a lot of interest in you and, as irritating as it is, your crow seems to dislike him as much as Zoro does. 

He didn’t attack him directly of course, you would never let this happen. 

Yet, if Sanji is too close to you when you're all on the deck or if you share a moment alone with the cook. The damn winged dinosaur never missed a beat stealing his, lite or not, cigarette that was in his hand or between his lips.

The bird has often even tried to take his ring, but, to this day, never succeeded. However his favorite target was his blonde hair. Golden straw that he could pick few at the time between his beck before flying away as quickly as he could. 

Everytime, as you tried without success to not laugh. Biting your lips in that charming way he liked so much. You assure him that Deimos didn’t really hate him, he was  just a little bit too protective or attracted to the shiny thing on his person. Like humans he needs time to adjust to new people. 

“ I understand Madam, but I don’t see stealing Zoro shinny earring neither and that be a show I would love to see “ He once replied, trying to repress the bitterness in his tone, massaging the sore spot on his head where Deimos had took three of his hair.

“Well, Zoro didn’t have hair similar to pretty rays of sunshine, that’s for sure and I honestly don’t know, they seem to already be best buddy that kinda funny “ You said, your gaze fixed on the strange duo that was Zoro and your pet, napping in a hammock between two Tangerine trees. 

“ That because they have something in common, they both hate me that’s why” 

“ You know, Crows love to collect things who shine and offer them to their partner or their favorite human. Once a crow trusts you, he or his children never forget you, they have a memory that they extend to their children for generations and they will always return to you. It’s amazing”  

“ Then Madam it seem that I will be hate for generation “       

It has been almost five months now that you were a member of the crew and the relentless animal didn’t stop. Although, Sanji couldn’t forget that conversation that you had about those damn birds offering shining things to the person they affectionate. The way you smiled, the gleam in your eyes as if you were sharing that fun fact like if it was a romantic story. Even if it was an anodin moment, he couldn’t forget how perfect you were. Relax, your arm crossed on the railing of the upper deck in the soft light of the morning. 

It wasn’t a secret that the blondie fell for you at the minute that he saw you. He had tried to flirt as much as he could, challenged your taste buds by making you his best dishes and even switched his generic “Madam” for a warmer nickname “ mon coeur”. A sweet name he uses, usually as often as he calls himself the Best Cook of the East blue. 

“ Mon coeur, do you want a kind of food in particular for supper ?” 

“ Be careful Mon coeur, the tea is hot” 

“ You see Mon coeur, one day I will see the All Blue and I will explore it with you ”  

But, nothing had seemed to enlighten your comprehension about his intention. Of course, a more direct approach would give him an immediate answer, still, like in his cooking, Sanji liked a more slow and progressive approche.

It was when thinking about his next move that the strange event occurred.

Busy in the kitchen, peeling potatoes for his famous beef stew, the man suddenly heard a metallic noise, like a utensil falling on the floor. As a chef, it wasn't uncommon, but since he was alone in the room and all his instruments were in front of him, it was indeed, really strange. It was only after his gaze had scanned the room that he finally saw it. 

Perched on the side of the table, under the open window, the dark bird, a spoon in his beck, was watching the floor where a solitary fork was laying.

“ Oh no sir, this place is my domain you will not ruin it, get out” He exclaimed, not without thinking of how ridiculous he must look, talking at this bird like if he was a rude client of the Baratie.

For answer, Deimos only croak once, jumps between two potatoes just in front of him, turns his onyx head on the side and then, under the blue glare of the men, drops the polished spoon. 

The eating tool in itself wasn’t really special, unless the fact that it had been lost two weeks ago, along the fallen fork of course.   

“ Oh so now you steal my utensil. My hair and my smoke wasn’t enough ?” Sanji sighs before reaching for the discarded silver instrument. 

For answer, the crow slowly approached his head to the metallic object and started to admire his own smaller reflection before taking his fly, exiting the kitchen.

Coming back after less than five minutes later, this time with a shimmering shell and one of Nami small hair clips. Same as the spoon, he gently drops them in front of the blonde man, tilling his head, like he is waiting for something.

Like said before, Sanji never had a soft spot for birds, but he had a fond memory of that conversation with you about the way they express their affection. So, little by little, as he watched one by one the glittery, polish, shimmery stuff your crow just bought him, two realizations struck him. First, the damn feathers dinosaur has finally taken a liking for him and second he finally knew how to show you how dear you are in his eyes. 

“ Well, I almost regret now that I imagine you many times in my oven. I admit that you don't seem that bad alive now…thank you” Sanji smiled, putting the stew on the stove, letting it cook and before starting collecting the item for his new plan.   

It was only a long time after dinner that he could put his said plan in action. With a little help from his now winged friend.

As the Going Merry was lazily crossing the water, Sanji was still again in the kitchen, preparing diverse elements. To citrus marinade for supper the next day, to dry leaf for future recipes.  

Nevertheless, he was ready when the flap of the wing followed by footsteps could be heard near his area.  

Deimos was the first to enter the kitchen, taking his now usual place in the left corner of the kitchen island, your bracelet still on his beck. Close by a few steps, you enter at his pursuit, stopping only when you seen the strange show that was the gorgeous chef ,slowly busy pressing a lemon and your large pet, sharing the same space without apparent bickering.

“ Hi Sanji, sorry to barge in there like that. Deimos feels apparently playful today, he stole my bracelet. But look at you both, you finally bound as I can see” You joyfully said, taking a seat in front of the kitchen island. 

“ Hello Mon coeur, well as you can see we came to an arrangement if I can call it that. " Sanji replied, pulling an almond from his pocket and giving it to the bird as he rescued your bracelet “ But I’m grateful that he bring you here now, I also had something for you, a special dessert”  

Turning his back from you for a minute, missing the long glance you give to his perfect ass in his tailored pants, you smile. You weren't stupid, in fact, you were particularly smart. Even if you didn’t understand why Usopp had taken a habit of joking about the fact that you seem blind to love. 

You had noticed the blonde chef the first day on this boat and since then, had developpe what Nami had called a “crush” on him. What’s not love about him ? You like the way he calls you Mon coeur making yours fluster, the way his smile reaches his eyes every time he talks about food and of course the fact that he was always so kind with you. But never you would push those thoughts on him, no, it seems that all his love was for food and as long as you live you will respect that.

The first thing you saw after the blondie had put the bowl in front of you was the beauty of the presentation. Served in a plain white bowl, a delicate pale lilac ice cream was piled, decorated with colorful berries that automatically make your mouth water.

However it wasn’t the berries who’s most caught your eyes. Coating there the side of a raspberry, there in a few pieces the side of the cold cream, there floating lazily like if it were on a river, small gold flakes was highlighting the sweet, giving it the allure of a masterpiece. 

“ Homemade lavender ice cream with berries assorted with flakes of edible gold “ Sanji proudly present, your favorite smile on his lips. “ I had the idea when we were talking about crows and their habit of giving their partner or…favorite person…shiny things” He lied. Never would he admit to you that your bird, trying to fancy him, gave him the idea.  Never on his chef corpse.

“ Sanji, that’s almost too beautiful to eat. The colors, the sweet smell , the…glittery gold” You admiratively said, your joy suddenly catching up with the realization of what he had just said. 

You were his favorite person. 

Lifting at the same time your gaze and the spoon, you take a small amount of the ice cream and taste his declaration of love. 

Just like him it was amazing. Sweet, refreshing and addictive. 

“ So...is that to your liking ? “ He inquired after a small moment, unsure if you taken your time to enjoy the dessert or trying to find a delicate way to put him down. 

“ It’s the best thing I ever tasted, here take a bite “ You offer, lifting the silverware at the level of his mouth. 

Taking your offering, your gaze lock on each other, you both couldn’t repress your smile as he let slip the head of the spoon out of his mouth. 

“ Definitely one of my be…” He couldn’t finish. 

His tie caught on your fist, his torso inclined and supported by his strong arms above the kitchen island. Your cold lips had suddenly crashed against his, taking him off guard and at the same time his breath away. 

Sanji, still ,quickly catch up. Adjusting his position to support the back of your head with one of his hands. He slightly brushes his tongues against your sugary lips, savoring them like a peculiar delicacy. But, as your tongue met, exploring and dancing against each other in a french ritual. He became more and more greedy of your lips, throwing away his usual self control at the first hearing of your panting breath. 

Still trapped in the warm embrace of his lips, enjoying the contrast of his warm tongue against your ice cream cold one, you suddenly heard a groan pronounced by none of you. 

“ Great, now the waiter will stop looking like a love sick puppy. But did you really have to expose us to that ?”

Breaking the kiss, you gave a glance at the door where Zoro, his arm crossed on his chest, was rolling his eyes, clearly already done with both of you. 

Biting your lips of embarrassment you still couldn’t prevented, neither Sanji at it seem, to smile. 

“ Nevermind. Come on black chicken “ He calls your bird, who, now used to it ,goes perch himself on one of his shoulders. Before quitting the doorframe to disappear into the ship “ I have to clean my blade and I know they are not clean enough until you watch your reflection in it. “ 

Laughing at the incongruous friendship of the Swordsman and your pet. You returned your attention to Sanji, another tea spoon of ice cream in his hand.

“I’m sorry” You apologize, still laughing. 

“ No need to be embarrassed Mon coeur “ He smile, regaining as it seem, his composure

“ No, I mean, now I don’t know what I prefer between the dessert or your kisses “ 

Taken aback, Sanji slowly smiles, deposing a small kiss on your lips. 

“ Then why not enjoy them both together…I will gladly supply it every time you ask for it”

Smiling you then proceeded to enjoy the delicious cold dessert and the body warm contrast for the rest of the day and more.  

Bonus : 

Not that Sanji was ashamed to tell you, no. But, even after a year after the event of the offering silverware et other shiny knick-knacks.

He still had, hide behind a pile of pots, the many items brought to him, along the years, by Deimos. Because, even after all this, he was still the reason why you were finally in his arms at night and yes, he had to admit it, he had kind of come to like it, that damn bird. 

[olderthannetfic]

as a trans person i would let the anon who is wondering if her love of crossdressing and fantasizing that she's male means she's trans that a lot of us will look back on our pasts and, hindsight being 20/20, see any sort of gender deviance as early signs of our transness. (all varieties of lgbtq+ people do this to some degree. just look at the numerous posts on here of lesbians who used to think they were bi or bi women who used to think they were gay "explaining" past relationships or feelings that didn't fit their current label.) and i think especially because a lot of us feel like we are worse off for coming out as late as we did, we want to spare other people the same fate if there's a chance they might be like us. and cis people who don't experience the particular things you do, might see this rhetoric coming from trans people and echo it. but the truth of it is that it's us making sense of our personal histories, taking back time that was denied us by rewriting the story - and like any case where hindsight is 20/20, usually involves some kind of revisionism and reductiveness. the truth is most "signs" that are used as "early indicators of being trans" are also things at least some cis people do. most people stifle to at least some degree at strict gender roles! not every little girl who hates wearing a dress is actually a boy, not every little boy who tries walking in his mom's high heels once is actually a girl. likewise, plenty of people have crossdressing fantasies that they're into in a TEMPORARY way - like others said, most of drag is this. so that's the question i would ask you: is your desire to be a man temporary? for me, it was not - i wanted to be one all the time, and i felt increasingly uncomfortable that i wasn't in all parts of my life. but that's something i've often seen be the distinguishing factor. i knew more than a few people who had been told things like you were, and the way they figured out they were not trans was realizing that being the other gender was something that they were only into if they could "take it off." or they were only interested in it in a sexual way, or a performance way, and had no interest or even actually disliked the idea of being that identity outside of that. it's also true that some people who start out answering that question with "yes it's temporary" actually start doing the temporary crossdressing, like it a little too much, and that triggers the realization into wanting to do it more and more in more places until they realize, wow i want to be a man/woman all the time, so shit, i am trans! but if that IS your answer you're only going to figure that out by actually doing the temporary thing. you're not going to figure it out by navel-gazing about it. tl;dr ignore your friend's suggestion, ask yourself what you actually feel about it, and try it on for size in the limited contexts you want. but from my vantage point, it sounds like you are not trans to me.

--

[txttletale]

Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

[annawayne]

Hi Anna! Stella here!! I was wondering if you have any Jeanpiku headcanons since you said you like this ship too! Sending you massive hugs and I hope your day goes well🙏

Stella, hello! ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

And oh, thank you so, so much for asking! JeanPiku have a very big spot in my heart and I adore this ship a lot, especially in post-canon setting, with them and AruAni being chaotic Ambassadors couples :D

So, for the headcanons!

1. I honestly imagine Pieck being a messy one out of the two, not because she's lazy and unorganised, but rather because she doesn't care too much about such things. To put it simply, she's not a person who thinks that it's worth her energy that much if she could spend some time on more exciting things - cuddling with Jean or reading, or anything else (and she's that one person who looks gorgeous no matter what). Jean, on the other hand, is the one who really hates when something is *not in the right place*. Opposites attract, we could say, but it's more like they compliment each other like a perfect puzzle. I also advise everyone to read the adorable oneshot by @zuzusexytiems , "Dirty Socks", which is basically about it!

2. JeanPiku is that one couple who are perfect hosts. If Connie among Ambassadors is the one who comes up with some wild (yet great!) ideas, so JeanPiku are behind every party, gatherings, dates and spontaneous events that turn into incredible time together. I honestly think that Jean, with his excellent diligence, and Pieck, with her witty and observant approach, always organize the best parties or events, where everything is thought out and organised in a precise manner, so everyone feels comfortable and enjoys their time. I also think that JeanPiku are often the ones, who drag AruAni on double dates, like Armin is too anxious and tired sometimes to even raise his head because of being the leader, Annie is often his right hand and in help, so JeanPiku, seeing this lemonheads disaster duo, drag them to unwind and spend time together.JeanPiku are always here for the rescue, and leave it to them to organise the best events!

3. Out of the two, it's Jean who spends more time in front of the mirror and in the shops. Pieck teases him, but it's a great understatement to say she loves the way he looks - more of she adores it.

4. Jean is obsessed not only with his hair, but with Pieck's, and let me tell you - I'm sure, that Pieck's long, gorgeous locks are much more mesmerising for him than his own.

5. Pieck is incredible at public events. Her speeches are witty, her words laced with precise intonation where she knows she needs to pull the certain emotions, she knows where to smile, where to drop the octave in her tune. She's excellent not only with politicians in the stuffed rooms, but on all this formal soirées, she shines the most, where they can drop a bit all the formalities and be a tad casual - and oh, she uses it in full. However, there's another side of it: as much as Jean is mesmerized by his girlfriend to be that smart and he's insanely proud of her accomplishments, he can't help but imagine how he breaks bones of some stupid politicians who ogle her with these silly, disgusting gazes. Let me tell you, that he has a companion in this, Annie, who throws the same daggers with her eyes during all these soirées, watching Pieck and Armin being all smiley, polite and too good-looking in her dress and his suit amongst these disgusting and petty people. Jean and Annie are besties when it comes to such situations, aggressively sipping their wine and discussing murders of people who don't cherish their loved ones as if it's something incredibly casual.

That's it for now!

Actually, you know, it was quite an interesting and out-of-box post for me, since I usually don't think about ships in "headcanons", and often just see the story around it and then, build everything in the particular setting, according to their characters. So thinking about headcanons like that, out of the context, it was also an unusual, but quite exciting thing, so thank you a lot for asking, I had a lot of fun with it and it really distracted me from everything not very good going on, so I'm very, very grateful!

I wish you all the best, Stella, and have a wonderful *timezone*! 🩷

[dollypopup]

I think a lot of people kind of miss the whole point of Polin.

There's conversation now about whether or not Penelope will accept Colin's proposal at the end of episode 4, and the cliffhanger being his infamous 'For God's sake, Penelope, will you marry me or not?' line from the books. And at first, there was all this buzz about how she'll say no and that's the cliffhanger because what if she picks someone else instead? What if he has to spend Part 2 convincing her?

In fairness to the fandom, that was dashed rather quickly. Firstly, we all know she won't say no to continue some semblance of a love triangle, because Debling is the personification of if flour was a spice, and he's not in part 2. Furthermore, it doesn't make much sense to have part 2 be Colin convincing her, when something much more pressing is hanging above them. Because the fandom caught on quickly as to the real conflict:

Does Penelope say yes to Colin, and continue hiding the fact that she's Lady Whistledown? Does she say no out of concern and part 2 is the unveiling? Or does she say no, and confesses?

And I think in our heart of hearts we already know: Penelope will say yes.

And in doing so, she will lie to him. Hide from him. And Lady Whistledown becomes the guillotine over their heads in part 2.

1: Penelope is on a narrative of self growth in Season 3. All leads are, but Penelope's narrative of growth is specifically to come out of the shadows. To be honest and open and brave in the light with nothing but herself and her own voice. And being those things? Yeah, not her strong suit as a character. It's the biggest pitfall she has, and it will not resolve halfway through. Penelope changes her outward appearance, and it still doesn't bring her full peace. Nicola herself has said that. She changes outwardly, but not inwardly, and that's where the real work has to be done. Lady Whistledown is proof that work has not been committed to. She is the manifestation of Penelope's fears of being herself aloud. A literal anonymous persona that can say what she feels she cannot aloud. Lady Whistledown is Penelope hiding, a wallflower in a masquerade mask. She's not going to be brave enough by Episode 4 to tell Colin. That's a whole season long arc. Furthermore

2: We would *all* say yes. All of us. We would all lie and hide in her circumstances. Here is the man she loves, who she has loved for years, coming to her and saying he wants her and cares for her and wants to marry her. She's not putting that in jeopardy. She says no to Debling (thank god, the man's an NPC in every definition of the word, Penelope deserves better) and so her options have narrowed, and really, she only *ever* wanted Colin. He has always been the ultimate desire of her heart. So she says yes to Colin. She wants to and she will. She wants *him*, and now she can have him. And in doing so, she fully solidifies herself as Marina's parallel. WHICH IS THE POINT.

2. a. sidequest: Marina is a vital part of Polin's story, but the fandom has missed that point. Instead of seeing what she as a character was meant to represent in their grand narrative, the fandom has instead demonized her. But in the same way Debling is a plot device to Polin's love story, so was Marina. Now, Marina at least got her own narrative, unlike Debling, who ONLY exists to be a plot point, but this is an analysis of Marina as a player in a narrative that isn't her own. I think Marina is a wonderful character, and I have a lot of sympathy for her, but the fandom saw her and villainized her. Which is SO not the point of her role in Polin's love story. The writers are all but slapping us in the face about that. EVERY character has sympathy for Marina. The narrative wants us to understand she was in difficult circumstances and did what she thought was best as a vulnerable young woman to survive. Which is the same, I imagine, it will do for Penelope in Season 3.

No, Marina's purpose in that particular narrative was to prove who Colin is as a suitor and a potential romantic match. That Colin is warm and open hearted, he is caring and empathetic, he is romantic, and most importantly, Colin is *forgiving*. When he says he would have married Marina regardless of her life altering and reputation ruining secret, that is to set him up for marrying Penelope regardless of her life altering and reputation ruining secret!!! That is the *whole* point!!!

And just like Marina, Penelope hides her truth from him, in fear of losing all that she has. I hope that kind of parallel FINALLY inspires some sympathy in our fandom for both these women, who, in Ruby Barker's wonderful words, are just players in a crappy game.

3: Even in being a sympathetic choice, it is still a cruelty she commits unto Colin. Because up until that point, they really don't owe each other much of anything. Yes, they have a friendship, and that comes with expectations, but in accepting a proposal, she owes him honesty. And she cannot give that to him. Colin lays all his cards down on the table for her to see, and she keeps her own hidden. Just like Shonda said, this becomes a relationship built on the foundation of a lie. It's the cracking open of that lie that finally allows them to be a fully realized couple. Colin loves a version of Penelope that isn't fully real, just like Penelope loved a version of Colin that wasn't fully real. An idealization of their selves. His temper, how he can sometimes say the wrong thing, his jealousy, his bitterness: she does not KNOW these things. But Whistledown unearths them. Just like he doesn't see *her* jealousy and bitterness, her temper, and how SHE can say and do the wrong thing. And, once more, *Whistledown unearths them*. They're not a happy perfect couple by the end of Part 1, because she lies to him. She accepts his proposal, and in doing so, she starts the clock. Tick Tock, how long does it take to tell him?

4: She doesn't tell him. I am fully of the mind that he has to find out on his own that she's LW. Perhaps Eloise sets a time limit for her, that she HAS to tell her brother (she's afraid, of course. what if he's mad? what if he doesn't want to marry her anymore?) (and what of him? what of Colin? does he not deserve to know?), or she'll tell him herself, but Penelope will likely try and then shrink back. She *wants* to tell him. I think that'll be the crux of Part 2. She wants to be honest with him, but she's afraid. So, like most of us when it comes to difficult circumstances, she'll hold off on it. And hold off on it.

Until he finds out on his own.

5: He'll find out on his own. And he will be *brutally betrayed by the news*. Not necessarily that she's LW, though that's a gut punch in and of itself, but more so that she kept it from him. That they've been intimate together, and bare with each other, and that she kept it from him. Keeping it from him as a friend is considerably different than keeping it from him as a lover and a fiance. They will be sharing a life together. A name, a home, and any punishments that befall her. The *Queen of England* is in her pursuit, she is, essentially, tying him to her in all events with the binding of marriage, and he sinks or swims with her. That's a pretty hefty thing to keep from a partner. And on top of it, he'll be hurt by the *lies*. That she could not confide in him. That he told her the truth, but she couldn't tell him the truth, and that will be painful. When it came to marrying Marina, it wasn't the pregnancy, the circumstance itself that he felt was a betrayal, but the lie. Same with Penelope: it isn't that she's Lady Whistledown, it's that she kept it from him. She also slagged him off plenty in it if rumours are anything to go by, and that (SPOILER) at the end of Episode 1, she trash talked him in the article right after they made amends, and is relatively horrified that she wrote it in anger and it was published after everything smoothed over. Even still, she has hurt him with that publication, too. It's a firestorm of things for him to be upset by.

6: And he still marries her. Here is a woman who has arguably hurt him the worst, done a greater harm and insult to him than anyone else, and he chooses to still marry her. Because he's angry, but he loves her. She betrays him and insults him and lies to him, but he loves her. She knew him, got close to him, let him speak to her of things that he would blush to speak to with anyone else (that line from S2 was WILD Colin, I see you, trusting boy), and she slags him off in her public article, and she pretends like she has nothing to hide, and she says yes to him even though she knows he doesn't like LW and that she'll have to tell him eventually, and what does Colin do? He forgives her. He forgives her and he asks her to stay and he loves her. He's jealous of her success, and he's upset that she lied to him, and he absolutely blows up. But after all that facade is stripped away, after all the lies and secrets are flayed aside and they are just Col and Pen, who are imperfect people with a hell of a devotion to each other, they know they're living a really beautiful love story. No pretenses, no pretend, just him, and just her, in the light, holding hands.

Because the whole point of Polin is being seen. Being seen and being accepted. Sometimes, you don't like what you see of a person. Penelope didn't like all she saw of Colin, and Colin won't like all he sees of Penelope, but they come to appreciate those parts of each other because in loving one another, they recognize that these imperfect, unsavory aspects of them make them who they are. And so they come out of it stronger.

So yes, Penelope says yes. Yes, Penelope lies to him. And yes, we'll have debates about it when Part 1 comes out, of 'she would never do that to him!!!' or 'well, she did it for xyz and oueyigohp;wfnd'

but in the end, I think it makes the most sense that she has to make this fuck up (and it is a fuck up, absolutely it is) so that they can grow from it. In the same way he had to fuck up so they can grow from it.

And that's the whole point.