#i won't be replying to responses

[flightyquinn]

AI Haters, Please Read to the End

I see people celebrating every time something bad happens in the AI art world, and that makes me very sad. Because I am partially colorblind, and have ADHD, clinical depression, and other health issues that I'm less comfortable talking about. Because I can't work, and rely on family for housing and government assistance to afford essentials. For someone like me, the barrier to entry on art is high. I'm never going to own a drawing tablet, I can't get professional lessons, my focus sucks to the point where it's hard to follow tutorials no matter how much I want to, and even if all of that could be sorted, my own eyes are against me.

But I still have ideas. I still have pictures in my head that want to get out. Characters that want faces, scenes that want to be expressed, and the like. I'm still creative. I just can't properly express that creativity. Nor can I pay someone else to express it for me. However, I can tell an AI what I'm trying to depict. I can tweak the settings, make small changes, spend hours on end generating and re-generating, tweaking and re-tweaking, and making small edits that are within my power to do, until I have a picture that satisfies my need to bring the thing in my head to life. That's not "stealing". It's not pushing a button and letting the computer do the work for me. That's me having my own ideas, and trying to use the tools at my disposal to turn them into something that other people can see.

Plus, there's one other thing I can do. This is a picture I generated with AI that I'm actually quite proud of.

And do you know why? Because it started as this.

I fed my terrible MSPaint rough as hell doodle into an AI, and told it what the picture was supposed to be. And I tried again, and again, and again, until I was able to refine the result into something that I was happy with - which took a whole lot more than just pressing the button again, let me tell you.

This is my idea, from start to finish, and my shitty art became something that actually looks halfway decent. Yeah, I'm aware of the wonkiness and AI jank. I know the jawline's weird, his eyes don't match, and there's something up with his ear. It's not perfect, but it's a whole lot better than what I could do on my own.

Look, when it comes to stopping the commercialization of AI art, I'm right there with you guys. Fuck corporations that want to replace their whole art department. Fuck people who want to impersonate other artists, or take commissions to turn someone's description of what they want into a prompt. Hell, fuck the people who take the first result they're given without trying to refine it at all!

However, I don't want AI to die. AI is an accessibility option. AI is a tool that lets me go from saying for years, "I wish I could have art of my first D&D character, I have so many fond memories of him." to having that one picture. It lets me stop stealing every time I want a character portrait for a new TTRPG that I'm starting up. Because you know what? I don't have the ability to be a "real artist", and I never will. There's too many barriers for entry.

...and my situation is mild compared to what some people have to deal with. Sure, there are people who find ways to make traditional art despite disabilities, but that's an exception. It could be the rule. Why shouldn't it be?

As far as "theft" goes, I have yet to hear one explanation of why it's okay to use references, but not AI, that didn't boil down to "it's different when we do it". And what about collage? Is a collage art, or is it "theft?" What about sculptural works that use reclaimed objects? They didn't create that. They just decided how it would be arranged. Hell, what about pieces like "The Fountain" for that matter? That's a big problem I have with all this hate. If you applied the same standards to other things as to AI, then there's a lot of things that currently are art we'd have to say aren't any more.

If you have a problem with AI, why not work to make it better, instead of trying to deprive people who rely on it for self-expression of a creative outlet?

[stromuprisahat]

TW RAPE MENTION AND NAZI IMAGERY

What I would have done with Fjerda instead of Helnik(scornful): we start on a smiling blond-haired blue-eyed family man, let's call him Alfred, who kissed his wife and children good morning and was the picture of classic paterfamilias at the breakfast table. He leaves to his 'lumber mill' management job. He gathers his workers, has morning prayers, and enters his office where he reviews paperwork on today's fresh 'logs'. He goes to the collection room, picks out a young blond Grisha for himself before telling his men what to do with the rest.

After the deed is done he continues working, observing a room of emaciated Fabrikators working on a tank. We see one guard nudge a skeletal young woman slumped over her table, declare her dead and carts her away to the incinerator. He comes home, kisses his wife and hugs his children and goes to sleep soundly.

The horrific is routine.

That's too obviously Nazi. Better to keep it in hints and put a lovely romance that will miraculously fix him.

Or outright describe drugging breeding factory, and pretend killing some of their staff and showing the victims to inhabitants of nearby town will earn a wave or righteous indignation for their sake and turn the population into Jew Grisha worshippers of Living Saints.

A girl who couldn’t be more than sixteen was being walked up and down the length of the corridor by a Springmaiden. Her feet were bare and she wore a light gray gown that stretched over her jutting belly. “I can’t,” she moaned. She looked unspeakably frail, the thrust of her stomach at odds with the sharp knobs and angles of her bones. “You can,” said the Springmaiden, her voice firm as she led the girl by her elbow. “She needs to eat,” said another of the women from the convent. “Skipped her breakfast.” The Springmaiden tsked. “You know you aren’t to do that.” “I’m not hungry,” panted the girl between heavy breaths. “We can either walk to help the baby come or I can sit you down for some semla. The sugar will give you energy during the birth.” The girl began to cry. “I don’t need sugar. You know what I need.” A tremor passed through Nina as understanding came. She recognized that desperation, that deep hunger that sank its teeth into you until all you were was wanting. She knew the need that turned everything you’d ever cared for—friends, food, love—to ash, until all you could remember of yourself was the desire for the drug. The wasted body, the dark hollows beneath her eyes—this girl was addicted to parem. And that meant she must be Grisha. Nina peered down the row of beds at the women and girls. The youngest looked to be about fifteen, the oldest might have been in her thirties, but the ravages of the drug made it hard to tell. Some cradled small bumps beneath their thin blankets, others hunched over high, protruding stomachs. A few might not have been pregnant—or might not have been showing yet.

King of Scars- Chapter 18

Just don't kill the guy behind all this no matter how many chances you'll get, because he's your new LI's daddy, and he DOES love his child (as long as he doesn't know they're Grisha too).

Save some mercy for my people my ass. Dying wish or not, it shouldn't extend to the likes of Jarl Brum.

[amethystina]

Hello ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I hope you’re doing better, both physically and mentally. I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and I truly hope you’re finding moments of peace and comfort in this difficult time.

I wanted to reach out because I usually connect with your thoughts on The Devil Judge, and I’m curious to see if we align on this perspective as well. I've noticed that many in the fandom view Yohan as being kinder and more selfless than he seems, believing he truly cares about people and their struggles. But from my perspective, it feels different. I think Yohan recognizes others' pains, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he empathizes deeply with them or feels much sympathy.

What do you think?

it’s always a pleasure to hear your thoughts.

May the rest of your day be filled with moments of calm and joy.

Hi there 💜

Unfortunately, I'm not doing the greatest but, well, that's sort of the norm right now? It could be worse, in all honesty. Me and my wife have some friends visiting from our university days, though, which is lovely! But that also means I'm going to be even more absent from here this coming week. Just a head's up.

Anyhow! Since I don't really read fics or metas for The Devil Judge I admit that I don't know what the consensus of the fandom is on any given subject. Except, perhaps, what I can glimpse in comments on my fics or in the asks I receive here on Tumblr. This means that whatever opinions I express are usually my own without influence from anyone else, which makes them very subjective, pretty limited, and, perhaps, not as well-rounded as if I had spent time discussing them with someone else. And I just want everyone to remember that whenever I answer one of these asks.

These are my opinions but I'm not going to claim that I'm right or that my thoughts are the only valid ones. They might, in fact, be spectacularly wrong since I never run them by anyone before I express them.

So, with that out of the way: Yo Han is not a kind man.

That's not to say that he's incapable of compassion or empathy, but his ability to relate to other people is, at the very least, severely stunted. I know that some think that he must have an antisocial personality disorder but, personally, I'm not comfortable diagnosing him with anything. I'm just not qualified to make that kind of assessment.

But what I can say is that he's definitely not a very considerate man.

But, as with all things Yo Han, the subject is a little more complex than that — and stems back to his childhood and past trauma.

To make a long story short, I think that Yo Han is emotionally mature and intelligent enough to recognise right from wrong. I also agree with you that he can see when people are in pain and, in some ways, probably relate to them. But what he actually does with that information depends entirely on who the person is and what scale we're talking about.

Because, as we see in the drama, Yo Han doesn't really care what happens to the people outside of his small, chosen circle. He was clearly shaken when Han So Yoon was kidnapped and K died, for example, but the unidentifiable mass of "the Korean people" doesn't interest him as much. Yo Han is incredibly loyal, yes, and capable of a fierce, all-consuming kind of love, but it's reserved for a selected few.

As for everyone else?

Not his problem.

And while that's pretty uncaring — ruthless, even — I think it's in part because of his childhood. He was so isolated that he can't really relate to people, only made worse by the fact that his mind probably doesn't work like most people's do. So even if he deeply loves someone, his empathy is still a bit patchy. He's used to pushing through pain and heartache and doesn't quite seem to understand that other people aren't — or at least not to the extent that he does it. Yo Han is a master at compartmentalising but doesn't understand that he's an outlier in that.

And so his ability to relate to people and understand their pain is severely limited. Because he's not working with the same variables as everyone else. Something that will barely faze him is enough to completely break someone else and despite being so clever, I don't think he understands that.

And it's even worse when you look at it on a wider scale. He's even less sympathetic when it's people he doesn't know personally and, quite frankly, I don't think he wants to care about nameless strangers. Yo Han protects and sympathises with the people closest to him — the ones he can see and touch and feel — but he doesn't waste emotional or mental bandwidth on everyone else. In some ways, he might not be capable of that. Because, again, the isolation he was put through as a child probably left quite a lot of scars and made him unable to connect with people in a healthy way.

He's not like Ga On, who genuinely cares about the fate of the common man and their country as a whole. I think that Yo Han sees the suffering and clearly doesn't mind doing a kind act here and there when he gets the opportunity — like donating the prison warden's money — but I still wouldn't call him a kind or a considerate man. He can be but also chooses not to be more often than not.

It doesn't come instinctively to him the way it does for Ga On.

Again, that's not to say that Yo Han doesn't know how to be kind — of course he does — but I don't think he views it the same way most people do. It's almost as if he thinks that kindness is a finite resource and therefore hesitates to waste it on people he doesn't care about on a personal level.

So no, I don't think he genuinely cares about other people's struggles and pain to the degree most people do. But it's not necessarily because he's evil or anything like that, but rather because he's so guarded. I've touched on it a couple of times in Who Holds the Devil, but I think that Yo Han is very cautious to reveal what he wants or admit when he cares about someone, simply because he's afraid of having it taken away or losing the person in question.

And if he were to care about every suffering citizen in South Korea the way Ga On does? I don't think Yo Han could handle that. I think he's shielding himself from that kind of commitment out of sheer self-preservation because every time he cares about someone, he leaves himself vulnerable for heartbreak. And he's not really equipped to deal with that heartbreak should it happen (again: emotionally stunted and childhood trauma)

In some ways, I think Yo Han is too scared to fully care about other people and, even when he does, he's always bracing himself for what he thinks is the inevitable pain of losing them.

But he does want to connect with people. Which means that he can probably learn to be more considerate of people he doesn't love on a personal level, but, again, I'm not sure if he wants to. At least not during the drama or even shortly after it. I think Yo Han is perfectly fine with being the way he is. He doesn't want to be a hero and has no interest in philanthropy — aside from how it might boost his reputation or, alternatively, punish those he thinks are behaving badly (like the prison warden).

But a couple of years down the line if he and Ga On are a couple? I think that Ga On could wear him down enough that Yo Han regularly donates to good causes and such. But Yo Han would do it more because he wants to indulge Ga On than out of any feeling of responsibility of his own. Because, when it comes down to it, I think Yo Han doesn't have any love and devotion to spare for the people outside his immediate circle. Taking care of them is difficult enough what with his upbringing and struggles to understand relationships.

Just like Yo Han says in the drama: I don't care if humanity falls as long as I have you two.

That's what he cares about most and even if he's capable of kindness and compassion, he saves it for the people he thinks matter. But even then I don't think he can empathise as deeply as most people would. Because he just doesn't understand that not everyone has his ability to compartmentalise and briskly deal with their emotions and trauma. I suspect that he thinks that Ga On is a bit too emotional a lot of the time. And even if Yo Han loves Ga On with every fibre of his being, he also thinks that Ga On's inability to control his emotions is both impractical and annoying — maybe even silly. Because Yo Han just doesn't get it.

He can't put himself in Ga On's shoes or understand that some people are just more emotional and need more frequent outlets for said emotions.

So yeah. I don't think that Yo Han is a particularly compassionate or considerate person, and he struggles to fully understand the people he loves, too. It's easier for him to be kind to them, at least, but he can't really empathise with them, either. But I would argue that it's not really his fault so much as a result of his childhood, all the trauma, and how he is a person. And it doesn't mean he's incapable of love or taking care of people — he's just very selective and, sometimes, he'll stumble because he doesn't understand what the fuck is going on x'D

In short: He's a disaster, your honour.

[gideonisms]

do you have any other tlt fic moments that haunt you? i read through all the ones you posted like a woodchipper

I do in fact! This list may not be as long as the previous one because things got kind of crazy there at the end of the semester BUT:

SEXY WRESTLING in ch 10 of this fic

Gideon and Nona go to the museum :) surely this will be heartwarming and won't rip me apart emotionally :)

mercy INSISTS on 69ing with augustine to save time in the cow wall fallout bunker. and john is There

Nona HATES Harrow's new girlfriend because she sat in nona's spot on the couch

look sometimes you want a sexy monster girl to absolutely destroy your pussy. relatable harrow moments. and this is that

harrow sets her apartment on fire to get the sexy firefighter to fuck her. camilla eats almost everything in pal and harrow's cupboards

gideon nav amnesia fic with a clever premise but if I say more, I'll just ruin it. do you want to see gideon get hugged? this is the fic for you

a griddlehark fucking on the altar classic. gideon gets dommed

speaking of gideon getting dommed. many a fic by Raxheim features this excellent premise but I'm especially fond of this one, in which gideon gets a nice break from the horrors and harrow gets her laundry done

I totally lied that was just as many as last time. I guess the writers of the fandom just put out too much quality work, what a problem to have!

[angelsdean]

what makes someone fundamentally a good or bad person? and what's the point of making that distinction? not being a hater, i don't think dean is a bad person, i just really don't get it. he's just a person with the capability for good and bad just like everyone else

i agree with you but i think the distinction IS important when you're dealing with fans who refuse to see that there's a difference between doing something from a place of good intentions VS believing they are willfully acting malicious and "abusive" because they secretly wanna control everyone and everything. i think dean is a generally good person who tries his best but like any other person is bound to get things wrong sometimes, make mistakes, act imperfectly. i think we all have the capacity to do both good and bad but like, it's not a tipping scale where X amount of wrong-doings equals You Are Now A Bad Person (often Regardless Of What Your Intentions Were) which is where a lot of "deancr*t" fans come from, and in this case i do think the intentions of a character are important when we're analyzing characters motivations and actions and why they may have made a certain choice.

also soo many fans will crucify dean for something that other characters have done too!! and they clearly don't view that other character as a Bad Person and they're able to give nuance and understanding for why that character did that thing and why it still doesn't make them bad, yet they don't offer the same grace to dean?? it's exhausting so yes, i will make posts saying "dean is fundamentally good to his core" to remind people that doing a bad thing or making a poor choice or acting imperfectly in response to trauma / stress / fear does not automatically make you a horrible irredeemable "abusive" person.

also it's very like this for me, a deangirl:

deangirls talking to other deangirls: acknowledge the intricacies of dean's issues, flaws, and behaviors, where they stem from and why, and also discuss the other characters' flaws and behaviors and how other characters have ALSO hurt dean. and those actions do not make them bad people either !!

deangirls talking to the world at large who keep acting like dean is the sole character who a has ever made a bad choice or hurt someone: dean is good !! dean has done Nothing wrong !! pls stop and look at every other character in this narrative and recognize that they are all deeply flawed and complex

[doctorwhozzat]

Awww they all look like beans!

a murder happen-💥💥💥💥

[uncanny-tranny]

That whole reply, like your musings, was a mess.

This is me sending you to the shadow realm

[hogarsis]

gonna be a bit of a pause from the 21st of october-3rd of november,

[cienie-isengardu]

Do you think the New Lin Kuei are allowed to have pets? We don't have the whole 'affection is for the weak' being banged on the heads on every person in the clan.

I don’t see any reason for them to not be allowed. Although I suspect the preferred kind of pets would be something adapted to Lin Kuei living conditions and way of life. They are warriors first and foremost after all, bound to protect Earthream at any cost, while owning a pet, like cat or dog, is both time-consuming and requiring responsibility.

At the same time, maybe the members of the new Lin Kuei actually have some pets from other realms? 

Like… WHERE ARE THE LIN KUEI DRAGON RAIDERS, I’M ASKING?

[starlightxsvt]

OMG ANOTHER AMAZING WONWOO FIC COMING.

I loved bloodily safe that was all my toxic kinks in one fic it's now my favorite oneshot ever I need a whole series of it and now you're making another wonwoo masterpiece I LOVE YOU. toxic badboy real piece of shit wonwoo is my favorite wonwoo god that was so hot I read it only one special times because it's so hot.

I HAVEN'T EVEN WRITTEN HALF OF IT BUT THANKS FOR CALLING IT AMAZING lol

Bloodily Safe was really that fic, I agree with you, Wonwoo was insane there, literally and figuratively. He won't be quite like that in the upcoming fic, he'll be more like a teasing bad boy who loves to get on your nerves and is very very bad for your heart.

I will try my best to make it ✨spicy✨ for y'all, wink wonk

[giantkillerjack]

Your stance on the Dunmeshi queerbait stuff is a bit selfish. Wanting this one manga to go exactly the way you want is a dangerous path - the way you phrase it is so entitled, making it clear it's not about consuming media about lesbians, but making one specific work suit exactly what you want. So many yuri mangas are written by sapphic women. It's a shame your stance is how it is.

And bastardizing the term queerbaiting does no good, either. Neither does the japanese manga market. You should research more before making such hurtful posts.

Hope you have a great day anyway.

[Anon is referring to this post, I believe.]

I mean, one of us certainly IS acting very entitled and weird about the media they like, and it ain't me. Like, I think you just have associated this piece of media with your own identity in an unhealthy way that makes you react to criticism of it with intense defensiveness. You don't own Dungeon Meshi. You aren't Marcille. Dungeon Meshi is NOT a yuri manga; it's a beautiful manga with either sapphic queerbait or a woefully underdeveloped queer relationship at its center.

Maybe if you had an argument besides "it does no good" to criticize it, but you don't. So.

Smh, it's a "dangerous path" - I'm screenshotting that bc I know it'll make my wife laugh. Like, friendo, wanting a piece of media to be better isn't dangerous. But calling someone selfish and hurtful for criticizing media while offering no clarifications as to who I've hurt or how (any fellow sapphics bleeding out in here? Or is it just me with my bonkers-heavy period??)... it's overstepping a social boundary in a bizarre way.

Like, I'm sorry that I'm better at media analysis than you (not actually sorry - I am being petty! :D), but I actually have studied queerbaiting!! I am willing to bet I have done more research than you! (Are you from twitter? You have that vibe. - Again, pettiness.)

... and I spend every day with my wife (the best writer I know; I'm so honored to share stories with her), talking of nothing but our shared special interest all day - i.e. media analysis. (I honestly don't know what neurotypical couples talk about lol)

And I've done enough research to know that one of the side effects of queerbaiting is that fans are often in denial about it and then get REAL MAD when someone points it out. I was there for the Sherlock/Supernatural fandom. Shit was crazy. (Not saying Super-who-lock bc my man Russell Davies was like MAKE THOSE BOYS SMOOCH! 😎)

Also like, my apologies to Ryoko Kui - I really do love Dungeon Meshi - but like, I'm just better at writing and illustrating queer rep than she is. I make real gay protagonists who do gay shit and are gay, and I will never queerbait my audience. Womp womp.

Also, honestly, even if I turn out to be wrong about the queerbaiting by the end of the series, this message was still rude and entitled and weird. We have a lot of issues facing our queer community that endanger real people; someone calling a story queerbaiting mistakenly is not one of them.

[just-some-guy-joust]

Tiebreaker Round

Please reblog/reply/send me an ask explaining why you think either Lovesick or Axolotl should get to move on. You have until the end of the day. Whichever side convinces me the best, their champion will get to move on. Good luck

[tattooedsiren]

it looks like because i reblogged one post where i added the tag ‘nsfw’ that now my entire blog has been marked as explicit??? can someone pls go to https://tattooedsiren.tumblr.com/ and confirm if you get the ‘This blog may contain potentially mature content’ message. thanks.

[ilikeyoshi]

fascinated by the number of replies on that poll that are just "no bc it's none of my business" like. ok???? extremely weird point to make. would it also be none of your business if that friend like. mugged somebody. hit their partner. tf does "it's not my business" have to do with anything they have displayed blatant disregard for the trust and love of others. it's GONNA be your business when they do some heinous shit behind your back.

[catfishofoldin99colours]

boy oh boy I get to send my first 'per my last email' response >:)

[lottieurl]

YOU GET ME YES. honestly if you stop saying yes at the start of your responses then i do too. we're in a loop. anyway. YES to everything about travis and nat for sure i also have similar tendencies of focusing on female characters, but lately i have been thinking about travis a bit more, in large part due to the nat of it all which. yeah. she calls him on his like... everything. all of the like... snarky persona he puts on to hide that self consciousness you mentioned. she does not let that go she will call it out! and it's like not exclusive to travis it's just very apparent in her relationship with him because that's one of nat's relationships that's more focused on. it's like how nat is perceptive and Sees everyone a little clearer than most, but we notice that the most with her and lottie because that relationship is focused on more. nat challenges people when they're shitty to her for reasons that are hypocritical or unfair or whatever like. the way she responds to travis in those situations is honestly really similar to how she responded to mari in old wounds honestly. if there's one thing about me apparently it is that i will always bring up mari.

and YES i've been thinking about tainat quite a bit lately. i've actually been rotating the tiny bits of tainat in the scene from close to the beginning of digestif in my head for weeks and personally i have not been able to get over it. like the way that nat first turns her away from jackie's body and then every time she tries to turn back to look nat keeps moving to shield her like. my god! they don't have too many moments together but that in particular just makes me lose it. like nat doesn't fully grasp Why tai is so freaked out in the way that she is because she's not privy to tai's sleepwalking but she Does get that she's freaked out and she understands that and is like. god something about how it's not just her hands but her whole body like jerks the second tai moves to turn around like MULTIPLE times. and of course there's like. precrash tainat. what we got of them then, they were in conflict, the two most opposed sides on the issue of what to do about allie. and then we see where they are in the wilderness, there's two sides again, but this time they're on the same one. and YES the rituals. it's not that they believe in them but it makes other people feel better, people they care about, so they'll do them. nat ends up resisting when she feels like indulging in the rituals is indulging in false hope, whether that's finding food or finding javi or maybe both. but like... god the fact that she had been doing them for so long anyway makes me lose it a little. she didn't believe in them but they made travis feel better and lottie feel better, so fuck it, who does it hurt. and that's the same reasoning tai gives like!! it makes van feel better, it doesn't hurt anyone, sure she'll listen to the wind and the pinecones.

god there is also a unique kind of fear that these two have of acknowledging the supernatural like. for tai that is something she cannot control and it is something that seems to be In Her too, and tai craves control in many areas, but most of all she Needs to be in control of herself. meanwhile nat i think... nat would prefer certain things to be out of her control, on some level, because then those things wouldn't be Her Fault. but she can't conceptualize a world where those things aren't on her, so she can't acknowledge the supernatural because it would absolve her guilt. until she's years and years out of the woods, on the floor with travis and the paramedics or head in lottie's lap, and she finally lets some of that guilt off her shoulders. but like... god! the way there's sort of opposing reasons they're so set in their skepticism but it ends up with the two of them aligned anyway.

this is getting really long and i ended up talking more about the two of them In Parallel than their relationship but i do also think about taissa paying for natalie's rehab. like. nat in the snow shielding taissa with her body taissa years later still funding nat's rehab like.... we don't see a ton of them together (i need more) but the fact that these two both feel this need to look out for each other... i will never be normal about them if i let myself i would write another several paragraphs i'm sure but this is so long -cannibal laura lee anon

"if there's one thing about me apparently it is that i will always bring up mari" YES WELL MARI IS ALWAYS RELEVANT

SUCH an interesting take on tainat vs acknowledging the supernatural. like why taissa doesn't is much more.. obvious i suppose and what you described but yeah NAT. they both start out as the skeptics of the group and actually. i'm thinking. in some ways. nat's a character driven by guilt. that's essentially how we are introduced to her really. like no she's absolutely NOT responsible for her father's death but how she behaves does point to GUILT. and i sort of view the way she defends herself as a mix of... yes an awareness that she's not doing anything wrong (like when travis has his insecurity with a splash of misogyny freak out over nat having been with other guys before him) but it all always comes back to her abusive father like. when taissa slutshames her in the pilot when travis reacts badly during an intimate moment it all triggers those memories. and guilt is so irrational! i think it informs her character in a way like. a sin to atone for. and then she finds purpose in hunting and in being the provider for all of them in the wilderness. but she needs purpose because she needs to make up for the fact that it's her. and that all has this undercurrent of GUILT. and she won't absolve herself and that's because it not only absolves her - something that she refuses to do - it also means she's completely powerless. people believe so often that even their own thoughts might hurt others and that is because to believe the opposite is to accept that sometimes you're not responsible and thus you have no control. and with this i accidentally drew a circle. tainat don't believe in the paranormal because they need to feel in control to some extent