#i wish this wasnt all life is
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still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?
genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.
if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.
#'they dont take as many risks as shadowbringers and endwalker!!' okay one WHAT risk did ENDWALKER take lmao#and two DID YOU PLAY PAST ZORMOR LMAO?????????? HELLO?????????? DID YOU LEAVE TULIYOLLAL??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#like i genuinely think you guys just complain about shit without actually playing the game#god forbid you have to learn about another world#some people heard this was stormblood 2 and immediately gave up caring#oh im sorry you were able to care about literal racist elves in cold france but a refugee? a non white civilization? oh i see#shadowbringers literally set up its societies too they were already in war dawntrail wasnt already#i think people should replay stormblood. it was never a bad expansion and i dont know what people are talking about???#half of the complaints i see for stormblood are racist and the other half werent reading any of the dialogue#'the horrors of war expansion has horrors of war in it i just wanna play on the playground with gay elves'#bitches will literally say they dont understand stormblood or dawntrail and then say yotsuyu was justified zenos is hot and wuk lamat is bad#why play a fantasy game if youre not interested in exploring new worlds#dawntrail takes so many more risks than shadowbringers and endwalker combined and sticks the landing with just about all of them#i think my only problem was how many times theg brought up they arent related by blood. no i can tell lol#some of yall are just haters that cant form their own opinion and are just mindlessly nodding along to somebody#you follow on twitter that was gonna hate DT regardless because zenos didnt come back to life this time#consume new media. go do side quests. touch grass. walk a trail at dawn and perhaps you have appreciation for story building#you guys are pathetic and i wish you the worst <3#dawntrail's twists are on par with shb and stb thats why i call it the love child of stormblood and shadowbringers#ffxiv
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insert long howl of self pity
#i know life goes on. i do. but yeeeeowww❗❗❗❗#i wasnt Talking talking but i was TALKING AT LEAST but i cannot read this boy at ALL#im assuming its merely platonic. wish it were more. but i know it's not. but i somehow still hope.#anyway. sitting with this. Again. WHY❗❗❗❗❗❗❗
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Assassin's Creed Revelations be like
#remember this meme?#assassins creed#ezio auditore da firenze#altair ibn la'ahad#desmond miles#I’m just joking of course theyre all in misery#sigh#i wish revelations didnt completely retcon altaïr's story and personality so that i could actually enjoy the game#every time he opens his mouth i’m just like… who are you?#it just makes me feel gaslit afjhdhs#it doesn't help that he has a completely different voice as well lol#also WHERE IS MALIK????#and maria suddenly gets fridged just like that???#at least ezio gets his eat pray love arc and finally decides to get ass-ass-out of the ass-ass-ins to enjoy family life#good for him#and desmonds just hangin out#no thoughts head empty#literally not allowed to actually do anything or change at all and put in a coma bc this game wasnt supposed to exist in the first place#dont you just love corporate greed?#sorry this got negative lmao#ac revelations spoilers#i guess???#its been like 15 years
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comm for @ cocoa__cola! oh to be in Baxter's place rn
#rui draw smth#our life: beginnings & always#our life#our life mc#olba mc#olba#baxter ward#couldnt so much today. the light was gone all the morning#+the house reinceforment stuff finally started and the worker guy likes drilling in the middle of my nap time so i wasnt at my 100% the noo#started at 3:20pm two days in a row. that's puntuality tbh#never wished to have noise cancelling headphones before today jdafks#commission art#commission#rui chambea
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DISTRACTIONS sometimes its the drive to help and save our friends that pushes us to learn and to succeed. unfortunately its normally ''unethical'' to replicate that in a classroom setting. I ONLY JUST FINISHED THE LAST PAGE HERE, THE FIRST TWO WERE LITERALLY FROM LAST YEAR, N A FEW MONTHS APART. LOOOOK AT MY EVOLUTION. im very proud of this and bled REALLY HARD FOR THE LAST PAGE. PLEASE ABSORB THIS.
#gillion tidestrider#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#the last page honestly just took super long bc i dropped it for a long while. only recently wiped the dust off o it.#IM RLY PROUD OF ALOT O THINGS ABT THAT LAST PAGE#LIKE THE PERSPECTIVE N THE WIDE SHOTS OR WHATEVER#IT WASNT EASY BUT I MADE IT LOOK GOOD!! IM SO HAPPY WITH IT#I ALSO just really love drawing gillion as soooo small#just a little guy with the weight of the world bolted to his tiny tiny shoulders#n yknow what while im here ill talk abt the first two comics aswell. i like taking inspo from JTHM for this kinda stuff#more specifically SQUEE n the way his dad was just sooo honest and cruel to him. 'yeah its your fault my life sucks' n all that. i imagine#that gillion prolly dealt with alot o that too. i know weve already seen the elders#but i did initially imagine them to be very much like the Tallests from invader zim. they just hate this little guy. hes so small n lame#hes prolly had teachers like that im sure. i like thinkin about gills experience in school!!#i fell in love with him the moment he said that he wasnt good at being a student like girl ME TOOOO WAAAAAA#HE SUCKS In school and everyone is just sooo tired of him but they gotta put up with him bc hes the Chosen One#but GOD they wish they had someone more competent i bet. it was prolly a relief when they banished him#could u imagine being that? someone so insufferable that people sigh in relief when youre gone. poor poor gillion#ANYWAY THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS#TALK ABT UR THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS TOO DIPSHIIITT CMAAAHHNN
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i for one would love to hear the remainder of ur thoughts on maggie tozier…
EEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! This means so much coming from you Kat 😭
okay a few things to note before i begin
This is a lot
Its a lot of me redoing her from the ground up, her personality, her looks, her background, her relationships etc, etc.
So just know, im taking like a thousand creative liberties with this
To begin i based her looks on the character Deirdre Barlow from an old brit soap opera called Coronation Street.
I imagine she literally looks like her kids, they get almost 90% of her genes and look like mini versions of her. Though she perms her hair to fit in with the trends, and tv has sold her a bunch of at-home perm styling kits. She's got pronounced jowls like Richie does, he probably has her wide nose too. Her fashion is very on brand for the time with lots of sweaters and jeans and big clunky jewelry.
I always imagined, much like every little homo, Richie got a lot of his fashion from his mama..
and cartoons.
She's average height, and probably is on and off diets but never takes it too seriously. Besides she enjoys baking and is always trying some recipe she saw Julia Childs make. She's kind of a stocky woman, it just runs in the family to be sorta squarish and have this bulldog look to them.
As for personality i personally never cared for Kings description of her as a kind of wishy washy woman who cried at everything Richie did or said.
For me i liked to think someone like Richie needs a mom who matches his energy and can take on his rambunctiousness. Even if it takes grabbing him by the ear and dragging him back inside to get a verbal slashing. She's not overly dominant or strict, just used to Richie always mucking up mud and knows how to rear him back even if he still embarrasses her in public sometimes with his trashmouth. I mentioned this before but i see Maggie as one of the, if not ONLY, better parental figures in the loser club. She genuinely cares about Richies friends because of how few and far between there is. Any kid in her house is her kid, she feeds and provides a safe place for anyone he brings home. Even if she doesn't understand some of their interests, or lingo, or fashion statements, or music. She's a moms mom, always referring to any kid as 'hon' 'baby' or 'sweetheart.' She can be fun and doesn't take anything toooo seriously, but she still cares about appearances. She's like an average sitcom mom who wants to look like a good mom and have a normal family with a happy life. She's also, a giant dork.
Much like her son, she too is kind of a loser. She's got that Tozier awkwardness, always making jokes where there shouldn't be, laughing too loudly/obnoxiously, always making references to pop culture even if nobody in the room has a clue what they're referring to. She doesnt really have a lot of friends 😭
She definitely tried, oh my god did she try. She would bake goodies and strap baby Richie into one of those backpack carriers and go around the neighborhood trying to introduce herself and her stinky ugly baby. And it was hard, Derrys an old, OLD small town. Backwards, judgmental, harsh, hateful. Unfortunately she just wasn't that privy with the other moms around her. But she desperately wanted to be, being a stay at home mom is lonely work. She dreamt of just being that sitcom housewife that makes the perfect dinner and snaps her fingers to clean the house in an instant and talks, and talks, and talks on the phone. She wants in on the mom gossip. She wants to be apart of a community SO badly.
Sonia is one of her few mom friends and even then that's more of a obligated friendship, their only common interests being their children and television. She kind of finds Sonia annoying and doesn't approve of her parenting methods, always rolling her eyes when the phone rings while Eddies staying the night, knowing its some new task she'll have to force the boy to do. Though she enjoys that Sonia will listen to her blabber, even if shes probably just sitting and watching tv while Maggie drones on about this and that and giving an assuring "uh huh" as a sign of life. Maggie's such a tv head too, i love to think she enjoys watching Cheers the most along with various soap operas and game shows. Her family bonds over tv with tv dinners on tv stands while they parrot tv quotes at each other. She probably has to shoo Richie away whenever Cheers is on, needing time to debrief and mumble to herself about Dianes complicated romances. And shes got a crush on Fraiser, god you and your mom have crushes on wimpy mama boys in suits lordd
I based a lot of her personality on Calvins mom from Calvin and Hobbes
I played around a bit with her background. I know she's depicted as Catholic but i always imagined she grew up Jewish, only quitting the practice when she and Went got married. Her views on religion are mixed, not wanting to really skew her children in any direction, but celebrating Christmas to fit in with everyone else in Derry. Not that it really helped because she never took them to church. Evil bastard child and her half demon brother whos annoying. Her and her parents relationship are a bit if not totally strained, they probably disapproved of Went back when they first met as teens. Their reasons were based mostly on Wents social status, but they were also just very critical of Maggie and every choice she made. She always felt suffocated by her parents and Went just made her feel clear and airy. Though it was mostly puppy love that kept them together at the time, their love would continue to blossom over the years as they got older and older. They truly loved each other.
I had this whole idea that he and Maggie were young lovers at 18, falling in love like it was the movies as they hid it from their parents. But she would end up pregnant with Rachel like REALLY early on, and it would kind of "ruin" any "plans" they had of running off together and going to some local college while Went worked. Which only added more strain to her and her parents relationship as they went off to have a small shot-gun wedding at a courthouse. Only able to afford a dress and flowers at the time, but she still looks back at it fondly and probably passed her dress on to Rachel later in life. She is still in contact with her parents but only rarely do they go visit, Richie hates the smell of his grandpa and always tries to rile them up by doing impressions of Mickey Mouse.
She's one of the youngest mothers in Derry, only making her more of an outcast in the judging eyes of others, but she loves her kids more than she ever felt she was loved as a child. She always wanted a girl, just enjoyed shopping for one and bonding with one and brushing their hair and decorating their room and doing their nails and makeup together. She adored Rachel, she was exactly what she dreamed of when she thought of raising a little girl. Their relationship is really close even if Rachel began to pull away towards her teen years. (I have SO many ideas for her as well 😭)
Much like her, Richie was a surprise/accident. She never really imagined herself caring for a boy and found it a bit more difficult, especially since their age gap is a bit wide. But even through her rolling eyes and yelling Richies full government name when she finds her nightgown cut with eyeholes in it for his ghost costume, she loves her son.
Their relationship is VERY much like Linda and Gene. While she doesnt care much for Richies crude humor and snappy quips, she cant help but hide a smile sometimes when she hears him and Rachel bickering back and forth. She genuinely thinks her son is really funny, just needs to tone it down a notch sometimes and not be the loudest voice in the room. God, shes probably taken him to talent shows at school. Tying Wents best looking polkadot tie around his neck while he nervously flips through his note cards, getting his glasses all sweaty as he quietly asks if maybe they, um, can just go home instead. And she'd sigh and clean his stupid thick glasses for him and tell him hes going to do wonderful. "You're funny Richie, real funny." And when she see's him waddle up onto the stage, nervous, scared, and tiny. Her smile would be bigger than her heart, having to flash him a healthy thumbs up to boost his little confidence. But of course he would fumble, sputtering every joke, never getting to the punchline, or getting their too early, and he'd be too quiet for the people in the back to even hear him. And Maggie would be the only one clapping, the loudest she can too. That's her funny guy. She lets him cry to her and wipes his tears with her sleeve. She never bought into the way most moms treat their sons, she wanted Richie to grow up loving someone with his full heart. Even if it means she coddles him sometimes.
And her and Went have a very loving relationship, very average and kind of mundane in a sweet way. They're very genuine, Wents sort of a passive guy who listens to his wife nightly rants about her day and enjoys it. He loves her more than his vocabulary allows him. Simple guy, loves his wife, laughs when his kids curse at each other, works wayyyy too much.
God this family
I think that's the brunt of my thoughts, most of my ideas are just small little things that add to her greater personality. I also loooove parental parallels so there's always tiny shit between her, Richie, and Rachel even.
In chapter 2 i think she's still alive, Went died from liver cancer a bit into Richies 30s (Toziers are kind of functional alcoholics.) So now she resides in Florida, where Richie bought her a nice home near the beach. He doesn't visit, or call that often which depresses her a little. But she understands, plus Rachel still often comes by with her children to visit and catch up.
I have list long notes on all the Toziers, they're genuinely one of my favorite fictional families and i literally highjacked them and made them my own 😭
OH! and i imagine she's got a collection of antique clown decorations. Vases, paintings, statues, gnomes, you name it. It's why Richies not very fond of them. Or going into her room much.
Tldr; Your mamas a loser like you
#She genuinely means the world to me#I try to give her a lot of micro complexities that makes her more dynamic and yknow#an actual character#Like of course she loves and cares for her son#but if he told her that some killer clown monster that shape shifts and called him a queer tried to eat his face off#i mean would you believe him#She would be worried for sure but more worried that maybee letting him see The Thing wasnt such a good idea#Or The Rocky Horror Picture show#oh and of course she knows his little secret#duh every mom knows that#maybe not fully but shes got an idea about him#a mother always knows#and she will always support her children know matter who they choose to be#maybe not assholes though she taught them better than that#She probably doesnt wish for him to BE gay though#not because of any of her own prejudices or bigotry against it#but because shes not stupid#shes known Richie has already had a hard life#hes not exactly a beloved football star quarterback that all the cheerleaders follow around#shes aware of how hard it is for him out there in this ugly town#she just doesnt want one more thing weighing him down#maggie tozier#it#it stephen king#it 2017#richie tozier#ask box
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Not to kill the big euphoria that's been in my dash since Saturday, but I (personally) did not like the ending of a rcane
#nisi talks tag#left me and my boyfriend speechless and not in a good way#i mean i guess i didn't hate it but it surely wasnt as perfect as some ppl here act it was#i think at least#something that i noticed right away is how I wasnt emotionally affected at all#last season i cried in ep 3 6 and 9#and this time all of it was just...meh#except for ek ko leaving his ideal life behind i guess#the bla ck rose thing didnt need to be there#it ate time for no reason#i didnt lkke this hellbent attempt to marvelise this story#like sure they wanna make a big shared universe but can we finish this story first?#i didn't like how the ending affects all the other champions of piltover that weren't in the story#i guess ar cane fans don't care about that because they don't care about l eague#but i like le ague lore and with this its all messed up#no he x tech? how does ez gauntlet work for example?#i wish r iot hadn't announced that this is the new canon because that sucks#also.ambes sa was just introduced to the game and now she is dead...what#and personally i had hoped vic tor would be much cooler thAn he ended up being#like that's on me of course#we going to no xus next probably and that's fine#tho little boring i think? nox us vs da macia is just#good empire Vs bad empire#but maybe we get ro see drav en so that would be fun#anyway#i hate tagging this because im scared of backlash but i need to for others who havent seen it#arcane spoilers#please don't come for me
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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need to draw frequently again. need to make a video game. need to make MONEY. need to LIVE.
#i wish i wasnt so broke#it wouldnt make me feel like such shit about where my time goes#like i cant pay my fucking rent#i should be devoting more time to that#but im having such a crisis of faith about all of that#which is a whole vent in itself#my mind is all over the place these days#more than usual#really at a crossroads in my life#but 2024 has also been my gaming rennaisance#and that has been helping to keep me afloat#but now the fall has all these games coming out that i gotta shell out money for#like full ass 60 bucks#what the fuck#and also#if i gotta move back home in disgrace#i should be making the best of the time i have left here#and having more unique experiences in the city#but one of my job apps might save me#lmao imagine that#god#i dont even fucking know
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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the most people ive ever drawn in one picture before :) tap for better quality if it's blurry!! also stage play ref photo below:
#this is the 2017 cast i believe! some of the actors are the same in 2015 and 2017 e.g. peko but some are different e.g. chiaki#i read lots of facts about the 2015 actors the other day and it was fun. i now know kaz's actor's life story😃#i wish sonia was in this drawing too so it could be all the girls but oh well </3#wanna rewatch the stage play some time!!!!!!#danganronpa#super danganronpa 2#sdr2#my art#mikan tsumiki#hiyoko saionji#chiaki nanami#akane owari#mahiru koizumi#peko pekoyama#ibuki mioda#is this too vague to tag as pekobuki despite the fact they have physical contact?...probably#i had so many issues with this drawing the pens bled a lot (happens with all of my drawings anyway. traditional art sucks sometimes)#but just ughh i wasnt happy with the lineart at all so i just moved on to colouring and idk. glad to have finished it :)#proud of myself for getting some art done yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!#sdr2 the stage#danganronpa the stage#sdr2 stage play#i need to draw kazuichi more often. the last time i posted him he was getting kicked😞 we need more kaz#writing a huge paragraph of tags on my posts is fun it is like my little diary!! hello 👋👋👋👋👋👋
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My period is coming soon so you know what that means. Mourning my college best friendship that fell apart randomly even though it's been over three years
#just sucks man.#never getting an explanation or apology at all.#getting anon hate from their ip address for months#having other friends try to say they arent claiming sides and then completely doing that#and again never getting an explanation in any capacity whatsoever#that shit Hurted#i hope theyre doing good i guess. i wish i wasnt constantly hopeful#that ill get a genuine apology once in my life
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yk what it was never that serious oh my god
#im good i think !!! my mood swings are !!! all over the place but actually yk everything pasess and time passes and hurt passes and there's#so so much more than this there's more than all of this and it was good before it will be good life doesn't just stop its fucking shit and#hell rn and it sucks that things could've been better and it sucks how unfair this all is but actually#crying over someone who wasnt talking to me for months is not actually that worth and god i am genuinely terrified that ill never love agai#and i really think i won't i think he was my person but tbh that was fucked like that was actually fucked up a lot of that was just hurting#and ik we both hurt each other a lot and ill never blame him and it will SUCK to see him again next year but ill be okay and everything e#will be okay i just need to meet and go out with more ppl and rmmbr that theres more to life than this shitty house and my shitty parents#and ill always love him and i cried over him so so much already but it is true that we had to have started moving on from it all at some#point i just truly believed wed like weather this together and im so disappointed at being left alone like this and i did rlly wish hed#stay but yk it can only really get better from here and whatever i loved him so so much but it's okay itll be okay#i need to live long enough to move out get a haircut a banging sexy ass bass and a cat so yk cant go anywhere until that happens
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im not even mad about timeless child/ flux anymore because of the wonderful performance DT gave characterizing how devastating it was to experience that as the doctor.
#lowkey making me wish we saw thirteen experiencing that much emotional turmoil about it too.#i didnt even realize that it affected them that much because#huh i wonder why probably because chibnall didnt give a fuck about consistently characterizing anyone#headcanonning it as her being unable to acknowledge her feelings in any form so i can move on with my life#except she wasnt bc she got upset about stuff sometimes but then had the most trivial and superficial explanations for why#and reasons that didnt even make sense or were morally questionable#to the point where all it took for her to be ok again was yaz or graham saying “we have ur back” lmao#but its whatever#doctor who#doctor who meta
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