#headcanonning it as her being unable to acknowledge her feelings in any form so i can move on with my life

[nebs-shitposts]

im not even mad about timeless child/ flux anymore because of the wonderful performance DT gave characterizing how devastating it was to experience that as the doctor.

[mysticqueer]

RFA + Saeran adopt dog headcanons bc I’m bored at work and they deserve dogs!!

Zen

this narcissist adopts himself in dog form

decides to adopt a shelter dog, somehow manages to find the most gorgeous dog to ever exist

probably a big breed. I’m imagining a husky!

dog does not leave Zen’s side. when one moves, the other moves. they have the exact same mannerisms. It starts to get a little creepy

he posts so many goddamn dog pictures (mostly selfies with his dog tbh)

insanely active and that only increases after he adopts a dog. he posts 90 Snapchat stories per day of the two of them hiking

as for the dogs personality… well, it’s just like it’s owner ^^^

Jaehee

being the practical gal she is, jaehee adopts a large dog for safety reasons since she lives alone

it wasn’t an easy decision. she was worried that her work schedule would impede her ability to provide a dog with proper care.

but when her work life finally settles down (by some miracle) she finds herself unable to relax

she’s spent so long dealing with work and people that she doesn’t really know how to be alone with nothing to do

enter: DOG

she honestly found most of the dogs at the shelter quite overwhelming. Until she spotted a large mutt, curled up in the corner of its cage and eyeing her with calm, observant eyes

she initially decides to foster the dog and see how things go

she takes her time making the dog comfortable and gaining its trust until it finally comes out of its shell

eventually they are inseparable

the dog likes to lay its head silently on Jaehee’s lap while she works

^^ but of course dogs can’t stay still forever

when it starts to get antsy with boredom, Jaehee knows it’s time to take a break and take care of the needs of her and her best friend!

Saeyoung

you think this fool is capable of only adopting ONE dog???

absolutely not

once everything settles down he buys a giant property and eventually adopts half of a dog shelter

big dogs! small dogs! young dogs! old dogs! he has them all-

constant dogs means constant distraction, which helps him from spiraling into negative thoughts too much

after all, who can possibly be sad when they’re at the bottom of a giant dog cuddle pile?

yes they all sleep in bed with him

he knows every single one inside and out, their personalities, their likes, dislikes, their random quirks and fears

(he gives them all distinctly human names)

(instead of telling the RFA that he adopted a dog he just starts talking about his friend Chad and everyone has to guess whether he’s talking about a human or a dog)

And the dogs?

All distinctly different from one another- aside from ONE trait

You think you’ve seen a protective dog? try a whole PACK of ex-feral dogs who love their owner more than anything

they’re protective of him just in general, which saeyoung somehow fails to notice when they give any non-pack person a death glare for having the AUDACITY to look their owner in the eye

all his life nobody ever protected him. he had to protect himself, which has made him well… yeah

but it’s truly impossible to feel unsafe surrounded by his family

he can finally sleep well at night

Jumin

Jumin… Jumin I love you but you KNOW he bought some 5 pound purse dog for $20000

it’s smaller than elizabeth

(and not happy about it)

The two have an ongoing rivalry that Jumin refuses to acknowledge

he doesn’t fucking know anything about dogs

he does not understand what it’s doing, ever, and frequently consults the RFA chat about some totally normal dog behavior that he cannot understand

to his credit tho, he truly does love his dog, and his dog loves him (and everything jumin spoils him with)

he may learn more about dogs after adopting, but he still doesn’t have time in his schedule for proper dog care

he hires a full-time dog nanny who gets paid more than most of the country (after a VERY intense hiring process)

zen insists that jumin didn’t really adopt a dog, but another cat (or.. well, rat)

zen also has an ongoing rivalry with jumins dog

Jumin CANNOT take it to a dog park bc he gets anxious when they play rough and gets protective of his child (((only a little like a Karen)))))

Yoosung

this boy LOVES dogs!!!

I mean come on he’s basically a golden retriever in human form

he’s so excited to adopt a dog! he gets all the supplies ahead of time, teaches himself basic dog training methods, and looks on Petfinder for months to find the perfect one!!

he adopts a dog that’s really smart!

…too smart….

Smarter than him, perhaps

Yeah he accidentally ends up adopting one of the smartest and most stubborn breeds

It’s more…. The dog training Yoosung than Yoosung training the dog

exactly what every college student needs! a dog with a sixth sense to know when you’re making bad decisions

it will straight up sit on his laptop if he’s up playing LOLOL too late

literally DRAGS him toward somebody to force him to make friends

Yoosung’s dog does not like Saeyoung.

His dog may not be able to make its owner less gullible, but it sure can shoot death glares at Saeyoung when he’s playing a prank

(Saeyoung notably only pranks him over text now)

Saeran

He’s reluctant at first to get an ESA

butttt while he’s being dragged on one of Saeyoung’s (many) visits to the animal shelter, something catches his eye…

It’s a puppy!

It’s a very small puppy

And it’s alone :(

A shelter employee explains that she’s the runt of the litter, and has some health problems as a result. Her mom and siblings were all adopted but she was left behind

….

So Saeran has a dog now

BIG mama bear energy

Even Saeyoung doesn’t DARE even thinking about teasing the puppy… he has enough survival instincts

Cautious to let other people handle her… she’s so fragile

And she’s shy at first.

There’s a solid month when they are physically attached to each other. You see Saeran? dog is sleeping contently cradled in his arms

Saeran is still having trouble opening up to people, but if you pass his door at night you can hear him speaking gently to somebody…

She grows and grows until she doesn’t look so fragile anymore. She starts becoming curious about the world around her

And…(fuck, Saeran thinks) she really likes Saeyoung

Saeran will not leave dog. Dog wants to play with her uncle. Saeran is thus forced to spend time out of his room.

He wants to be upset about it, but he just can’t be negative, seeing her play so happily…

He goes to Starbucks solely for the reason of getting a pup cup

She loves playing with other dogs, so dog park visits become a regular. And damn- dog owners are so social. Surprisingly, Saeran doesn’t mind too much.

Eventually Saeran starts to open up to the rest of the world too

[recycledbeercans]

I have specific headcanons for how Fry and Bender would realize feelings for each other so i’m gonna dump my tentative brain timeline.

I think ? Bender would be the one to realize he’s in love with Fry first. He felt fondly towards him since day 1 when he was touched that Fry wanted to be his friend, and even in “i, Roommate”, just having Fry sleep in close proximity to him and sharing a space with Fry made Bender so happy! Fry no longer wanting to live with Bender crushed him so bad he stopped drinking. There’s a million instances of Bender giving Fry compassion he won’t give others, being unable to function without Fry in his life, and being the one to take care of Fry. But backing up, I really get the impression Bender fell for Fry hard and fast, shortly after meeting him, but it took him much longer to realize he was in love with Fry.

Bender probably refused to ever analyze his feelings for Fry because everything with Fry was new territory (Fry is his first friend, and human friend) and he just assumed this is how human friendships are. So he’d act out and be needy, clingy, jealous, possessive of Fry without ever being aware of it or that his feelings stemmed from a deeper place. I think at first, Bender never fully made the connection of why he was so torn up whenever Fry seemingly rejected him, he just wallowed in his feelings.

At some point though I think he finally puts two and two together and when he does, it hits him like a ton of bricks that he is *in love* with Fry. Like it was so obvious in hindsight, the way he interacted was always giving it away, but he hadn’t ever considered why he behaved this way towards Fry. I could see Bender making the realization somewhere around a scenario like the climax to Jurassic Bark. Which, ok, yeah at the end he tells Fry he loves him and denies it is romantic at the time, but I imagine that Bender probably never fully thought through the extent of his feelings, and so he’s speaking from the first time he’s ever had to come face to face with the fact that he was so scared of losing Fry, that he had hurt Fry. He even risked his own life to get Fry’s dog back realizing how much he fucked up. After that incident Bender can’t deny that he’s in love, at least to himself. I don’t think he’d immediately do anything with that realization except have an “oh crap” moment then promptly try to pretend the feelings aren’t there because by this point he also has hangups about the idea of being robosexual.

Meanwhile, Fry is so enamored with Leela and chasing after her, and Bender isn’t ready to face that he is in love with Fry in any tangible form outside of his head, so he just buries it and tries to not acknowledge or feed his feelings. In fact he loves Fry so much that he even sacrifices his own wants to let Fry chase after Leela because he couldn’t handle not having Fry in his life. As long as his kneejerk emotions don’t get the better of him, Bender tries to be selfless and prioritize Fry’s happiness, because that means more to him than his own life, almost literally. He’s basically stated this in Ghost in the machines.

Fry, on the other hand, is painfully oblivious to how deeply Bender loves him. He cares about Bender a lot but loves Leela romantically. He never really thinks anything of the way Bender and him interact while he’s pursuing Leela. The sparks are there, Fry can be himself around Bender, Bender takes care of him, the two love to spend time together, but Fry’s idea of a relationship is more idealized and in line with how society paints relationships.

Your girlfriend is going to be someone who’s habits clash with yours, who nags and bosses you around, because that’s just how women are, right? That’s how relationships are. The comfort and familiarity of a day to day routine Fry has built around Bender never occurs to him that this is what a relationship can feel like. Or that it’s even what he wants. After all, he’s convinced if he finds the right way to say I love you, Leela will fall for him, because that’s the only reason she isn’t interested. It’s like winning a game, chasing a high. Isn’t a relationship supposed to be a guy winning a girl over? Doesn’t he just need to prove himself to her?

Fry and Leela date of course, but eventually they break up and stay very close and good friends because Leela can’t get into the relationship, she feels like she is just settling and after a while probably makes the realization that it’s unfair to Fry because he deserves someone who loves him as earnestly as he does her. The fact that Leela needs so much convincing and has to view Fry in certain lights to tolerate him is a red flag. (Also I hc Leela as, a lesbian going through comphet tbh you cannot convince me she was into any guy she pursued lol).

Fry is heartbroken, and it takes him some time to try to heal. I think Bender would be there trying to comfort him, and genuinely comfort him, without teasing or picking on him. Because he knew how much Leela meant to Fry and it’s hard on him to see Fry so torn up when he’s put so much into prioritizing Fry’s happiness and well-being. This is probably the most depressed Fry has ever been.

Bender probably actually takes care of Fry through his depression, leaves food at his bedside, makes sure he bathes at least semi-regularly, offers a shoulder to cry on even if he doesn’t know what to do outside awkwardly pat Fry. I don’t have details worked out but I could see it being a thing where somehow Bender’s feelings for Fry end up getting confessed to Fry because Fry realizes how much Bender is helping him, and it begs the question of why. But Fry doesn’t know what to do with the information that Bender loves him. It’s a lot to take in, especially for him. He built up this idea that he’d end up with Leela, and he’s never considered that he could date Bender. Bender probably feels embarrassed and excuses himself after confessing, Fry lets him go.

 And Fry leaves Bender hanging. He pretends Bender isn’t in love with him, and they carry on as normal, though maybe Fry is a little more avoidant, or withdraws from the usual hug or takes extra caution to not do anything that might be too touchy for Bender. He turns down bath time, he sits as far away from Bender as he can on the couch, he’ll stop himself from saying anything that might give Bender the wrong idea.

This tears Bender up because his biggest fear was losing the closeness and comfort of his best friend. It’s why he never wanted Fry to know when he realized he did love Fry. He was going to commit suicide before he met Fry, he’s given his life for Fry, this is probably his nightmare, somehow this is so much worse and cuts so much deeper than the time he thought Fry was going to replace him with a dog, because this abandonment almost feels real. Fry isn’t just gone from his life, Fry is there, but he’s not *Bender’s dorky human* anymore, he’s just a roommate, a coworker.

Fry losing his source of emotional support and now having to deal with moving on from Leela and dealing with the fact that his best friend is in love with him feels like too much. Fry probably tries to seek advice/help from other coworkers but no one wants to hear about his love life problems.

Leela on the other hand, spends more time feeling guilty for breaking up with Fry and bad for hurting him, more than she hurts over the break up. It doesn’t go unnoticed by her when things get weird between Bender and Fry, so she eventually corners Bender and finds out what happened.

Leela is surprised that Bender is in love with Fry, but also not (the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes it was obvious and she always subconsciously picked up on it). Not wanting her two idiots to be miserable she sort of shifts into Mom friend mode and tries to meddle with their relationship, starting with trying to approach Fry about the fact that he’s hurting Bender.

It’s really awkward because they hadn’t spoken properly, and they are exes now, so there are some loose ends that they need to talk through there, but eventually she does find out that Fry isn’t avoiding Bender because he is put off, he just doesn’t know how to treat Bender in this situation and became fearful of making things worse, in the way he felt he did with her when they tried dating.

Fry doesn’t know how he feels about Bender either. Of course he loves him, and feels comfortable around him, and happy, in fact, he could see himself with Bender, he had never thought about it before Bender’s confession, but it feels natural. That is also difficult for him to grasp because it goes against everything he thought about relationships. They were both supposed to find a hot girl (or fembot) to settle down with, you’re not supposed to kiss your best male, robot friend.

Leela doesn’t really have an answer for him because this is ultimately a decision he has to make himself, but she does tell him that he should stop avoiding Bender, for both of their sake. 

Oh also, as an aside, despite helping Fry and Bender resolve what’s going on between them, I think she’d also struggle with impulsive feelings of jealousy, not because she necessarily wants Fry back, but just because seeing him begin to move on and find love while she couldn’t get into being with him when he did love her and was a dating option makes her feel some kind of way. She probably flipflops between trying to be self aware and not taking those feelings out on them, but also sometimes snapping then apologizing after or needing to excuse herself. She’s trying her best.

So ANYWAYS, Fry finally finds Bender and stops avoiding him, and the two reconnect the way they usually do, hugging, happy, and laughing together like idiots. Leela is happy to see them have that back, but also feels a pang of sadness and jealousy within her but she pushes it down and tries to just be happy for her friends.

After that things start to return to a normal routine. Bender assumes his feelings are unrequited but at least he can still have Fry the way he always has. Fry, on the other hand, has time to think (which is a lot of work for him! why do you think this is taking so long) and process how he feels about Bender throughout their normal day to day routine. And for the first time, while knowing Bender’s crush on him, while not being clouded by thoughts of winning Leela over, and it begins to finally click for him that he is in love with Bender too. He had been, but he took their closeness and all Bender did for him for granted because he was so caught up with Leela.

So finally, in whatever way you could want it to play out, he returns the feelings and Bender is initially skeptical because of everything, especially since he was convinced Fry didn’t feel the same. He’s probably scared of being a rebound, or Fry is fucking with him because he is a robosexual, etc. It all feels too good to be true, but after some convincing and Fry finding ways to reassure Bender that he really does want this, well, you know.

Because they were already so close and there was so much pent up tension, I could see them jumping into things pretty quickly. Bender is going to take the first opportunity he gets to push Fry up against the wall and kiss him silly, his processors buzzing with the excitement of getting to experience a new side of Fry.

Anyways after that everyone finds out they are dating because they end up making out and feeling each other up in, uh, not the most isolated place during work hours.

[blackbat05]

Period Shenanigans

Shangqi x Reader

A/N: Lol so my period came one week earlier than what my period tracker stated? But thank goodness I’m at home and I don’t have any schedules because I would be dead. I try not to arrange anything if I can help it especially on my first few days. What I write is what I experience and what helps me during my period but disclaimer, it may not work for everyone! Hope you liked this impromptu idea that came out of my head. I’m finally done with 10 weeks of placement! Just a little more~ Like and comment if you wish! 

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: Shangqi not being like most men and being so caring? Blood (but come on if you can see blood on action movies why not this?) and a whole load of fluff I guess? Oh an one explicit word too haha 

The two of you come back from your morning runs as usual. Shower and breakfast was next. But after thirty minutes you didn’t come out of your room.

Shangqi decides to make a visit to make sure that nothing happened to you. ‘Y/N?’ He knocks on your door first. ‘You ok?’ He pressed his ear against the door, straining his ears. All he heard was a few unintelligible muffles. ‘I’m coming in ok?’

He made sure that he received your acknowledgement before slowly opening the door. There you were, crawled up on your bed, a hot pack on your tummy.

‘Fuck…’ you groaned as you tried to find the best position. Couldn’t you just live like a normal human being during this time of the month? Evidently god had other plans.

Let’s face it, at this moment you would have been embarrassed for Shangqi to see you in this state. But first, you were too tired to even care. Second, Shangqi was best friends with Katy before he met you. Surely he had seen enough.

He knows the protocol at the back of his head. Giving you a few reassuring taps on the shoulder, he leaves your room to prepare the essentials.

Tea, painkillers, sliced bananas and your favorite chocolate biscuits. Oh, don’t forget your humongous stuffed penguin that laid at the corner of your room but you were unable to get because of the pain that had nearly paralyzed you.

‘And the portable phone charger because I know you’ll be watching Running Man non stop,’ he passes you the object in question. ‘Be careful not to burst you appendix while laughing ok?’

You punched his shoulder lightly as a form of thanks. ‘What the hell would I do without you Shangqi,’ you adjusted your position to achieve maximum comfort on the bed. ‘Come on, watch with me,’ gesturing for him to sit next to you.

For the next 3 hours or so, you spend a good time with Shangqi laughing at the antics that the show provided. It was a good way to ignore the pain that was slowly going away by the minute.

Having your period meant that you were more tired than usual. After sipping the last bit of tea, you eyes felt heavier by the minute, eventually nodding off on Shangqi’s shoulder.

He slowly cradles your head, bringing it down on the pillow. Making sure that the blanket covered you, he cleaned the remaining stuff before leaving your room.

Sleep definitely helped. You woke up about an hour later to the unmistakable smell of macaroni soup boiling. Still in Shangqi’s oversized hoodie, you carried the stuffed penguin out like a little kid, making your way towards the kitchen.

There he was, donning an apron that said ‘World’s Best Cook’.

‘That’s kind of an exaggeration don’t you think?’ You teased, causing him to turn around. ‘Well, I must have woke you up because of this wonderful smell,’ he jokes back, taking a sip of the soup to test its taste. Satisfied, he closes back the lid to let it boil a bit more.

You appreciated what he did for you whenever your first few days of Niagara Falls proved to be physically taxing on you. But you just had one question…

‘When did you learn to cook Macaroni soup?’

‘Uh well,’ he sheepishly scratches the back of his head. ‘I called your mom earlier while you were asleep. She was kind enough to give me a idiot proof recipe for a cooking newbie like me.’

Appreciated? Scratch that out. You were stunned that he actually went to such lengths to make you feel better. You remembered when you were younger, your mother would cook you a bowl of warm macaroni soup. The chicken broth was light and easy on the stomach but still very filling.

Shangqi notices that you’re just standing there, not saying a word. He worries that maybe he went too far. Should he apologize? Should he just tell you that he wanted to help? Should he-

You come forward to hug him. ‘Thank you Shangqi. I’m probably saying this too many times for my own good but this means a lot to me.’

Wanda and Vision just came back from their Sunday grocery shopping. As Vision was about to walk through the walls to get through the kitchen, Wanda stops him.

‘What is it dear?’

‘I think we can wait. We don’t have any cold things to put in the fridge right?’ Vision shakes his head as he followed her looking very puzzled.

Wanda could see you and Shangqi at the kitchen counter. He was standing across you, eagerly watching you take the first sip, as if waiting for a stamp of approval. Your genuine reaction brings a huge smile to his face as he starts telling you his adventures in the kitchen, you laughing at his exaggerated account multiple times.

The two of you were basically in your own world.

Wanda was like a big sister to you since you came here from Madripoor. She felt herself constantly needing to protect you as despite your abilities, your kind heart served as a danger out in the field.

But ever since you knew the Martial Arts master, Wanda felt like she did not have to worry anymore. She knew that you were surrounded by good friends who would have your back out on the field and for this instance - when you weren’t feeling your best.

She quickly makes her leave before you spot her.

But Shangqi did as he was facing the door. He sees the sorceress put a finger to her lips. So he naturally goes back to the conversation with you.

While you finish the last bit of soup, Shangqi takes a quick peek at the entrance again. Wanda was still there but this time it looked like she had something to say to him. She must have used her abilities as his brain suddenly felt strange.

‘Thank you Shangqi for being with her.’

A/N: Yo this was supposed to be a period headcanon? Or is it just my hormones speaking that makes me unusually emotional. Anyways, hope you enjoyed another Shangqi headcanon again!😂 You have my period to thank for that.

Also can I just say I think my standards have changed? Like if a guy’s really considerate to me on my period like hell I think that’s just really neat in my books because unfortunately I haven’t come across any in real life🥲

[mondegreenlad]

An Analysis on a Meta regarding She/Her c!Wilbur Headcanons

Authored by Mondegreenlad and Ela_VII

October 24th, 2021

This is an analysis of @/zannolin’s meta on the she/her c!Wilbur discourse. OP makes a case against the headcanon. The purpose of this paper is to analyze OP’s argument and propose verdicts for individual points.

This is not an attack on OP’s character; this is a response to her argument. The purpose of this paper is not meant to be seen as hate or harassment toward the OP. Harassment over this issue, toward OP or others, is vile and unacceptable. If you feel that the authors of this analysis have been disrespectful or are speaking improperly, please don’t hesitate to message us asking for clarification and/or changes. If you have any other sources or perspectives on this issue that you would like us to include, please message us.

For the purposes of this analysis, Source will be congruent to the original meta written by @/zannolin, and Verdict will be the two authors’ position on the matter.

---

Why OP believes that she/her c!Wilbur headcanons are problematic

Because it's misgendering Wilbur’s character

Source: “a lot of trans people are uncomfortable with the headcanons going on and their implications”, “using she/her for a character who goes by he/him is misgendering.”, “genderbending/etc is a very uncomfortable topic for a lot of people under the trans umbrella”, “it carries themes of misgendering or is just outright misgendering as a whole”

Verdict: Arguable. Misgendering cis people is not okay. If Wilbur’s character was cis and used he/him pronouns solely, it would be disrespectful to change his pronouns. However, there has been confirmation neither that c!Wilbur is cis nor that c!Wilbur uses he/him pronouns solely.

Because it excludes other identities that c!Wilbur could have

Source: “if you look at someone who is unlabelled (and honestly the most “applicable” queer hc for c!wilbur, currently, is probably unlabelled) and say ‘oh okay so your pronouns are she/her’ or ‘you’re nblm’ or ‘you’re nonbinary’ or anything of the sort? you are misgendering that person”

Verdict: Incorrect. Personal headcanons are not likely to exclude other identities because they are⁠—by definition⁠—personal and headcanons. If fans were pushing Wilbur to make his character use she/her pronouns solely, then this point would be correct. However, there is no evidence of that happening and the request sounds unreasonable in general.

Because trans people have been attacked for voicing differing opinions about she/her c!Wilbur

Source: “there are people I have seen and dealt with, and who my friends have also seen and dealt with, who will wholeheartedly call you transphobic for so much as not liking/agreeing with their headcanons, much less trying to express legitimate issues with them”, “it has caused a lot of trans people serious discomfort, and has led to unnecessary and unsolicited harassment when people attempt to talk about it”, “(there is a) current tendency to harass, mock, and ignore trans people who want to talk about these problems”

Verdict: Arguable. Most likely correct, but this is a large part of the argument that is cited many times only through hand-wavey terms, such as “many people I know” and “friends I’ve talked to”. This would be stronger if there were specifics or evidence behind the claim. We acknowledge that the OP did receive harassment for posting this meta, but we are unable to determine if that was over the argument and the language used or because of the OP’s statements that they were uncomfortable with the headcanon. Specifics in the forms of evidence of other individuals receiving harassment for stating they were uncomfortable with it made prior to the time of the original meta being published would suffice.

It makes Wilbur uncomfortable because he didn't give “enthusiastic” consent

Source: “for CCs to have to throw up their hands and say, well since I can’t stop you from doing something I’m uncomfortable with, at the very least I just don’t want to see it.”

Verdict: Arguable. The above quote implies that Wilbur responded that way in regards to queer headcanons. While he didn’t seem to give enthusiastic consent, he did give consent. It is his responsibility to not give consent or to revoke consent if he is not comfortable with this.

It makes Wilbur uncomfortable because he didn't intend to portray this character in that way

Source: “cc!wilbur did not actively intend to portray his character as queer (and said as much)”

Verdict: Arguable. While Wilbur has confirmed that he did not intend to portray his character in any specific way, intentions can change. Just because the DSMP began as a way for the Dream Team to test the new snapshot and have fun with their friends does not mean it can’t change over time. The same applies to the contributors and their characters on the server.

It is either misgendering or truthing the content creator because Wilbur’s character is based on his real-life self

Source: “you cannot fully separate the character from the CC”, “a great deal of the lore has been spur of the moment, and interspersed with CCs just hanging out and being their ‘normal’ selves, not necessarily ‘in character’ but it is still drawn on for characterization”, “(a) large percentage of the fanbase draws from IRL content”

Verdict: Incorrect. None of the fans know Wilbur in real life/without his streamer persona, so to say that what we see on the screen is his “normal” self is assuming that OP knows Wilbur personally. Nobody who does not know Wilbur in real life has any basis to say whether this is accurate or inaccurate. He has stated the following:

“...Regarding gender anatomical art, I don't remember saying I don't like that, I don't really care. I don't really connect myself to what I put out on the screen anymore, I wouldn’t really mind.” (VOD)

If you attempt to argue against his statement, you are effectively saying that you know him better than he knows himself.

To continue this point, by using the terms c! and cc! there is a direct separation of the two. By using those terms, they are separated.

It is willfully ignoring canon queer rep because the reason these headcanons are made is because people are discontent with current representation in the DSMP

Source: “people want to headcanon what they want, and we are in a very large very accepting very queer community, and people want rep.”

Verdict: Arguable. It does not make sense that all headcanons are made for the purpose of “creating” or “forcing” representation. While many fans are likely using this headcanon to feel more connected with Wilbur’s character, it is unlikely that any of them believe their headcanon is a true or accurate representation.

It is willfully ignoring canon queer rep because fans are solely watching Wilbur or are prioritizing Wilbur over CCs like Ponk, Niki, Antfrost, Puffy, Eret, etc.

Source: “it’s genuinely baffling to me that people would rather headcanon a cishet cc/character to be queer instead of watch an actual queer CC”, “why headcanon diversity when there are actual real people you can watch?”

Verdict: Incorrect. Without sources or data, OP is in no position to say that her audience is ignoring queer content creators on the DSMP in favor of watching Wilbur. No data is provided that proves this.

---

Important point: If you are uncomfortable with a headcanon, that is completely ok. OP states that they and their friends are uncomfortable with the headcanon. That is perfectly ok. No one is saying you must or must not headcanon anything. However, being uncomfortable with a headcanon doesn’t make it immoral, incorrect, or means it crosses CC boundaries.

---

Why this isn’t a strong argument

OP uses a straw man fallacy to argue that headcanoning different pronouns is comparable to LGBTQ+ erasure, saying “can you imagine the backlash if someone were to say ‘I headcanon c!eret as cishet!’? they would be drawn and quartered for all to see,”.

OP claims to not endorse the weaponization of identities, and yet throughout the paper uses their identity to shield themselves from criticism. We acknowledge that this is not weaponization, however both of the authors find this a poor establishment of credibility.

OP also uses a slippery slope fallacy (as covered in the second point in the next section. We felt it best to include it there because of the language attached to that point).

Lack of evidence provided, general baseless argument. Where data is needed, data is not provided (as stated in the first section of the paper).

Claiming that the meta was a personal catalogue but structuring it as an argument, then saying that discussion about it was closed. This is not a catalogue, as nothing is catalogued.

Some readers interpreted this as transmisogyny. Neither of the authors can accurately speak on the matter, so if you have insight or opinions, please message us.

---

OP’s choice in tone, language, and implications

OP throughout the paper uses language that demeans the reader and/or people who endorse the headcanon.

“but here’s an apparently mind-boggling (/s) concept: you can deal with it.”

This is an instance of mocking those who disagree with OP’s point.

OP uses the slippery slope fallacy to imply that individuals who subscribe to this headcanon can often come close to CC truthing, stated here:

“I hope some of you have stopped and realized how uncomfortably close to CC truthing queer headcanons can stray. please note that I am not accusing people of truthing, I am not saying you are, I am not saying you are a bad person if you have headcanons. but I want to point out that it often starts down that road, and it can get out of hand.”

Firstly, this is a use of the slippery slope fallacy (Slippery Slope). Secondly, this is a tremendous and very serious implication, with absolutely no sources or examples provided. The only instances either authors can think of in regards to genuine queer CC truthing is people truthing that cc!Tubbo and cc!Ranboo are in a romantic relationship, and people truthing that cc!Tommyinnit is a transwoman. Both of these communities are miniscule and hardly prominent in this larger MCYT community, but consistently cross CC boundaries and invade their privacy.

Therefore, truthing is a very serious implication for the OP to make, especially with no evidence. It is grouping people with a headcanon about a fictional character together with people who maliciously invade the privacy of and speculate about content creators for their own personal gain. These are wildly different and it would be rude and inaccurate to compare the two, especially with no evidence provided for this circumstance.

OP mentions another instance of supposed CC truthing:

“people are increasingly not having ‘small personal headcanons’ but are borderline or full truthers, who are shoving their agenda in people’s faces, who are spreading misinformation, proclaiming things to be ‘canon,’ and harassing people who try to speak up about any issues with said headcanons.”

This is a huge generalization and claim with no evidence provided.

OP implies that individuals think that being cishet is bad or wrong and, in the same point, demeans the reader:

“but being cishet is not inherently a bad thing. your sexuality and gender identity are not indicators of your worth as a person or your morality. you can be lgbtq+ and still be a piece of shit, I’m sorry if this is the first time you’re hearing this, but it’s true.”

Headcanoning a character as queer does not mean cishet people are bad. If people have said that "being cishet is inherently bad'' when referring to if people were genuinely uncomfortable with cishet content creators, then why would they continue to consume content or support those creators? OP also says “I’m sorry if this is the first time you're hearing this” which implies that the reader is not well-read or exposed to other ideas, which is a rude assumption.

OP uses generally demeaning language and name calling to shut down those who disagree with their argument:

“I understand being defensive and the extreme embarrassment, shame, and discomfort that comes from being wrong or realizing there are problems with things you like. truly, I do. and as a neurodivergent person, I understand how absolutely shitty it feels. but you know what’s more shitty? trying to shut down people who are raising genuine issues with things like this. in this specific case, ignoring trans people who are trying to talk about it, or outright attacking them. telling trans people they’re the transphobic ones. just generally being a fucking dick about it?”

Firstly, to imply that the people who uphold this headcanon should be embarrassed, ashamed, and uncomfortable is odd. Despite stating in the first paragraph “I am not here to tell you what you can and can’t headcanon; I am not here to tell you that you are a bad person. I’m not trying to shut you down; I want to make you aware of the problems”, OP is very clearly using demeaning and rude language to shut down people who disagree. This is contradictory to their statement that they are just trying to raise awareness.

Secondly, saying “trying to shut down people who are raising genuine issues with things like this. in this specific case, ignoring trans people who are trying to talk about it, or outright attacking them. telling trans people they’re the transphobic ones,” implies that all the people who uphold this headcanon are participating in harassment. While there has been hate toward the OP (the authors of this analysis do not condone harassment of any kind), that does not mean that every single person who endorses this headcanon is doing this. This is a generalization of the people that uphold the headcanon.

Overall, OP’s meta uses inflammatory language and the authors of this paper find it unacceptable. We will note that the OP has apologized for some of the wording on Twitter (Statement) but we felt it important to cover these instances nonetheless because they affect the ethos of the entire original argument. We would also like to note that, while the authors of this analysis find this use of language unacceptable, we do not condone any harassment towards the OP regarding their selection of language.

---

Summary

Tl:dr; OP is personally uncomfortable with she/her c!Wilbur headcanons, and tried to decry these headcanons by arguing that they misgender c!Wilbur and cc!Wilbur, make cc!Wilbur and trans fans uncomfortable, and show an ignorance of queer content creators. Many of these points stretch the truth, and little to no evidence is provided. Readers were upset by the way OP argued her point, and some tried to shame her on social media sites through the use of quote retweets, private quote retweets, direct messages, and anonymous asks.

This paper analyzed the argument presented in the meta and determined it fails due to a lack of evidence, baseless claims, name-calling, and use of logical fallacies. However, we acknowledge that the OP and anyone else may feel however they choose about the headcanon regardless of the argument’s success.

Monde’s takeaway; I don’t think OP’s argument is strong in any way, and I don't appreciate the callous language used. However, I am far more disgusted by the way people responded to this. It is quite easy to see that this is a personal opinion, albeit poorly presented. Many people should not have acted in the ways they did, including (but not limited to) sending death threats, resorting to name-calling (e.g. “braindead”, “weirdo”, “grow up”, “bozo”, “pathetic”, “(...) need professional mental help”, “freaks”, and “dumb as hell”), harassing OP (e.g. continuing to private quote retweet her even though that’s generally accepted as something that people don’t feel comfortable with), minimizing the impact of pronouns on trans people’s experiences of gender (e.g. saying “its (sic) just PRONOUNS”), using ad hominem argument (e.g. attacking OP’s personal characteristics⁠⁠—such as her age⁠—instead of countering her actual argument), and wishing ill will on OP (e.g. “please lose your Lovejoy follow”). I hope that the people who acted in these ways will refrain from doing so in the future.

Ela’s takeaway; This was an interesting read. I will assert that no one has to like all headcanons. OP is perfectly within their rights to not like, endorse, or support this headcanon for any reason or lack thereof! No one is obligated to like anything in fiction. I will note that I do endorse this headcanon, so there is a bias there. As with Monde, I condone no harassment of any sort towards the OP or anyone else. If anyone has any issues with this paper please feel free to contact me.

---

TO REITERATE: Do not send hate to OP or anyone else. If you have any comments or criticism, please message one of the authors of this analysis:

@mondegreenlad on Twitter and Tumblr

@ela_vii on Twitter and @enceladia7 on Tumblr

[cheri-translates]

Headcanon - when he sees someone else confessing to you

This work, 当他看见你被别人表白, was originally written by 君兮耶君兮 on Weibo, and she has given me permission to translate it 🌸

[ VICTOR ]

The two of you made plans to go for dinner together.

By the time you make your way to LFG after work, Victor has just wrapped up a meeting. After giving him a call, you hover around the entrance, waiting for him to drive the car over. 

“Is that really you?”

You hear a pleasantly surprised male voice from behind. Turning towards the sound of the voice, you’re greeted by an employee from LFG. 

After digging through your brain for a while, you finally recall that the last time you came to LFG to submit a report, you met a new employee who was under Goldman’s wing. 

Back then, he was clearly not used to the working style in LFG, and was making mistakes left and right. Seeing that he was on the brink of tears after receiving a scolding from Goldman, you stepped in to mediate the situation. 

You didn’t expect him to remember you.

“Ever since you helped me, I’ve been looking for you.” He twists and rubs his hands together, looking slightly nervous. He lifts his head. “I’m now the leader of R&D Team A. I... I wonder if you could... be my girlfriend?”

“I’m sorr-”

Even before you finish speaking, you’re interrupted by the car horn of a black Maybach. Thinking about a certain someone’s occasionally difficult personality, you immediately step backwards, putting some distance between the two of you.

“CEO...” The little employee stands straight and stock-still.

Victor nods coldly. Judging from his expression, you can tell that this childish man is jealous again. You place your hands together to form an apologetic pose towards the employee, then pull the car door open, entering it.

The employee’s face grows deathly pale, and he scurries off, as though he has suffered a great blow.

“I’m gone for just a while, and you’re already flirting around?” Victor reaches across your body to strap on your seat belt.

You burst out laughing, planting a chaste kiss on the side of his face. “Victor, I’m very obedient. I rejected him even before you pressed the horn~”

He settles back into his seat and puts on his own seat belt. Starting the engine, his unhappy tone is almost imperceptible. 

“Mm, pretty obedient.”

[ GAVIN ]

In the police station, there are quite a number of energetic men who are full of vigour. Whenever you have nothing to do, you’d take a stroll around the training grounds to look at... Flyer.

Let’s be real - if you dared to look at other men, Loveland City’s No. 1 King of Jealousy, Officer Gavin, will definitely hoist you home on his shoulder, just like he did the last time at your office. 

After retrieving the frisbee from its mouth, you pat Flyer’s head. From the corner of your eye, you notice that Gavin has already finished exchanging pointers with the other officers, and is currently staring in your direction.

You shoot him a smile from afar while giving Flyer a belly rub.

An officer with some grime on his body walks over, handing you a bottle of water. “Whose relative are you?” 

You hesitate for a while before accepting the bottle, thanking him politely.

“I see you here often. I presume you like small animals?” He rubs Flyer’s head. Uncomfortable to be touched by a stranger, Flyer unhappily shies away from the contact.

You immediately reassure Flyer.

Watching how gently you’re treating Flyer, the officer is unable to restrain himself from asking, “Would you consider me? I love small animals too. Want to be my girlfriend?”

Faced with such an unexpected turn of events, you instantly refuse. “Sorry, I already have a boyfriend.” 

“Who’s your boyfriend?” He hasn’t seen you being chummy with any of the guys.

“Her boyfriend flipped you onto the ground earlier.”

Gavin appears from behind the both of you. His forehead is dotted with beads of sweat, and some droplets travel along his defined lower jawline towards his neck region.

“...Captain Gavin.” The officer quivers, straightening up and greeting him with a salute.

Gavin doesn’t even spare him a glance. He stands in front of you, tilting his head downwards slightly. “Help me wipe the sweat off?”

“Mm,” you comply obediently, retrieving a towel from your bag and dabbing it on him gently. You can feel the lingering heat exuding from his post-exercise body, and you hand him the bottle. “Want some water?”

Stung by your intimate display, the officer says an awkward goodbye and leaves.

Gavin twists open the bottle and squats down, giving it to Flyer. “Next time, if anyone confesses their feelings to you, just let Flyer bite him.”

At that moment, you’re unable to react. The righteous Gavin is actually telling you to get Flyer to bite people?

Perhaps sensing that his tone is a little bitter, he adds, “If you think letting a dog bite him isn’t good, then let me know. I’ll beat him up.”

...isn’t that worse?

[ LUCIEN ]

It’s common knowledge that Lucien’s seminars are always full. The female students attend to ogle at Lucien, while the male students attend to ogle at the girls. Of course, girls who find that they’re unable to match up to Lucien sometimes end up together with a guy who happens to like her.

To you, Lucien’s seminars are pretty much meaningless. Obscure terminology and strange chemistry-related processes are basically incomprehensible hieroglyphics.

You release a sigh, preparing to plop your head down to make up for lost sleep. Even if you can’t understand anything, you wouldn’t waste such a good class.

The boy next to you throws a small note onto your table. 

It reads: Classmate, I’ve seen you attending Professor Lucien’s seminars many times. Since there’s still no development, are you interested in becoming my girlfriend?

You purse your lips. Do kids these days not pay proper attention in class? Won’t a student get completely lost once he loses focus for one minute in Lucien’s class?

You borrow a pen from the girl sitting next to you, and write: Sorry, not interested.

You throw the note in the direction of the boy, but it hits something in mid-air, and falls to the ground.

Lucien is holding a book in his hand. He bends down to retrieve the note. When his gaze falls on the word “girlfriend”, his pupils constrict, but he smiles and asks, “Does this belong to you?”

Confessing that it’s mine would be the silliest thing to do! 

You shake your head furiously.

Lucien poses the same question to the boy, who is starting to break out in cold sweat. “Student, does this note belong to you?”

Pale-faced, he nods. Lucien places the note on the table neither softly or heavily. His knuckles tap the surface of the table, creating a slight sound. In your heart, you’re silently wishing the student all the best.

“It’s all right for your mind to wander in class, but don’t disrupt other students.” Lucien straightens up, then returns to the lectern.

You nod furiously. 

That’s right, that’s right, don’t disrupt other people when they’re trying to sleep.

“Also.” He smiles, his eyes crinkling, barely concealing a dangerous aura. It’s reminiscent of a fox hiding in the grass waiting to pounce on its prey.

“This student you’ve confessed your feelings to - you should be calling her... the wife of your teacher.” 

[ KIRO ]

Kiro likes it when you visit him at his workplace. Kiro likes it even more when you bring snacks when you visit him at his workplace.

But if things happened like it did today, he’d rather you not come. This way, his honey wouldn’t be desired by other people. 

That’s what Kiro thinks.

Kiro has always been serious when shooting movies, and the both of you have developed a certain tacit understanding. As long as you’ve reached the filming site, he can sense it, even if he doesn’t see you, It’s a radar he sometimes uses to ensure Savin doesn’t clear away his snacks.

Right now, Kiro feels a wave of inexplicable melancholy in his heart, and an uneasiness in his chest. All along seeking perfection, he immediately calls for the scene to stop, and asks the director if he could have time to organise his thoughts.

Taking into consideration how Kiro hasn’t had a break after two hours of shooting, the director agrees.

Kiro immediately rushes across the filming site. As expected, he sees a man stopping you at the entrance. 

The man is carrying a bouquet of gaudy red roses, displaying a pose he thinks makes him look dashing. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You’re slightly startled by the suddenness of it all. However, you react quickly. “Sorry...”

“No!” Kiro takes large strides over, shielding you behind him. His hostile expression kind of resembles a mother bear protecting its cub - resolute, and unwilling to back down an inch.

Faint golden rims surround his pupils.

“In this lifetime and the next, and the lifetime after that, Miss Chips is mine! Don’t even think about taking one more step closer to her!”

[ SHAW ]

That little brat Shaw said he was going to reach soon even though his lessons have not yet ended. So you’re currently waiting in Loveland University with absolutely nothing to do.

Slightly upset, you kick a pebble into the lake, letting the ripples it creates alleviate your frustration.

“Doing that will scare the fishes,” a gentle male voice floats into your ears, and you instinctively turn towards it.

“You might not recognise me, but I frequently see you in the archaeology class,” he explains.

You nod as a form of greeting, then lower your head to send Shaw a message to get here quickly.

“Oh right, could I ask you something?”

“Sure.” You look at him in confusion, thinking there shouldn’t be anything worth asking between strangers.

“It might sound abrupt, but are you willing to be my girlfriend?” The male student looks at you with a serious expression on his face.

...he asked even though he knew it was abrupt?

You hear a familiar bark of laughter.

“I’d advise you not to.”

Before you can explain that you already have a boyfriend, Shaw continues. 

“She's stupid and likes to eat, but doesn’t like exercising. She refuses to acknowledge it when she loses in games. She’s so troublesome to deal with. I’d advise you not to make life difficult for yourself.”

This development is a little odd...

“Let’s go.” Shaw grabs your hand.

You walk with him, then hop up to whack him on the head when his guard is down. “Do you not care about my pride!?”

Shaw holds you to prevent you from losing your balance. “I’m just stating the truth. You’ve caused me enough trouble, so I’m saving others from harm.”

He has a quirky temperament, a thousand bad habits, and is incredibly annoying. 

There’s only one good thing about him.

And it’s that he loves you.

-

More translated and original works: here

-

[ Permission to translate ]

君兮耶君兮: You can - just note the source of the author

[theflannelwizard]

Miss Simian teaches the Special Accommodations class

First off, I would like to say that I am neurodivergent, and most of these headcanons are based off my own experiences. If I do accidentally phrase something in a way that offends you, please let me know so I can fix it! Thanks to @onceuponymous to chatting with me about this before I posted it! I will also say that TAWOG is my current hyper fixation, so this might end up being a rather long post! I’ll try to use bold and italics so my fellow neurodivergent fans have an easier time reading it if they want to :)

I think Miss Simian’s class is full of the neurodivergent kids in Elmore Jr. High. This would explain why Darwin and Gumball are in the same class, despite being two years apart in age, and why they are so blind to the rest of the school. They have their routine and their class, and they are purposefully on a separate schedule than the other students. This would also explain why Gumball and Darwin are so frequently sent to the guidance counselor for their outbursts instead of to the principal.

Almost all if not all of the students in her class exhibit common symptoms of neurodivergence, including (but not limited to) having trouble communicating, hyper fixating or having special interests, masking or feeling like the world won't like, understand, or accept them if they don’t put on a persona, fidgeting or stimming, having trouble with focus, expressing emotion intensely or in unique ways, and either adhering to a strict schedule or behaving impulsively.

Let’s start with trouble communicating. This is an obvious and easy one- almost none of Gumball’s classmates communicate in a neurotypical fashion. Juke and William have extreme trouble communicating verbally, and although Juke realizes this, he keeps trying but is unable to “switch” himself to an easily understood language. William doesn’t even realize he is unheard until Gumball declares he is silent.  Banana Joe, Bobert, Sussie, and Jamie all speak in special dialects or patterns that are understandable but set them apart from what would be considered “normal.” Jamie’s is the least obvious, but I would argue that her reliance on threats, often delivered using the same formula, is a unique speech pattern that could have developed in part due to her parentage/home life and in part due to trouble communicating. Gumball has no problem with speaking in an understandable way, but he does have trouble expressing his emotions- he either locks them down or goes over the top with grand declarations and gestures. Likewise, Darwin is able to express himself rather clearly, but he canonically has trouble “learning facial expressions” and is often blind to sarcasm and manipulation, as are many of his classmates. Some students are on the end of the spectrum where they may not have trouble speaking, but they do have trouble reading social cues. For example, Molly is eager to talk to her friends, but can’t always tell whether they are engaged with her stories and doesn’t know when to stop talking. Sarah doesn’t have a clear understanding of boundaries, and neither do Tobias, Sussie, Banana Joe, Teri, Tina, Clayton, Ocho, Gumball, or Alan (despite having good intentions, he often fails to set boundaries for himself, and that’s just as important to notice as those who intrude or don’t understand boundaries for others). In fact, I would argue the entire class has, at some point, shown that they have trouble setting or anticipating healthy boundaries. Once boundaries have been clearly set, they usually are able and willing to respect them, but they can’t always tell on their own what another person is okay with.

Now for hyper fixations and special interests. I would say Teri is one of the most obvious here, with her extensive knowledge of germs and cleanliness. She’s more than just a germaphobe, she has studied hygiene and is obsessive to a point of rarely talking about anything else. Alan could likely be fixated on activism or the general concept of goodness, working overtime to make himself into the most helpful and positive person he can be. Sarah’s fangirl persona goes hand in hand with a fixation on comics, anime, and/or manga. I would even say Carrie’s intense dedication to goth/emo culture could be considered a special interest, and Leslie has a similar relationship to fashion, beauty, and the (heavily coded) LGBT community. Tobias’ obsession with video games has canonically gotten so intense that he neglected basic needs such as sleep- a classic example of hyper fixation. 

As far as masking and persona goes, many of the points I’m about to make could be seen as simple stereotyping to make the characters distinct. I choose to interpret it differently. Gumball, Penny, Tobias, Carrie, Masami, Tina, Clayton, and Ocho have all had arcs or significant moments where they were either revealed to have interests or personality traits that were in direct contrast with their outward persona or revealed to think people wouldn’t like “the real them” as much as the act they put on. For example, Penny was terrified to come out of her shell, Tina doesn’t intend to be a bully but comes off as one due to her menacing mask (for self protection, perhaps, so she doesn’t get bullied herself?), and Ocho admits he has trust issues due to being used for his uncles and not respected unless he puts on an intense and aggressive front. Other students build their identities around a single aspect of themself, either something that they find important or something that they expect will be liked or respected. Tobias, Leslie, Carrie, Alan, Jamie, Tina, Idaho, Sarah, Bobert, Banana Joe, and Masami fall easily into stereotypes and seem to be glad to do so. Clayton goes so far as to commit identity theft simply so no one will see his true self and dislike him. Clayton’s compulsive lying is also a symptom of ADHD.

I’m not going to write a whole paragraph on fidgeting/stimming and focus, because I don’t think there’s too much to analyze or dissect there, but if you go back and watch any episode, you’ll likely notice that many of the characters are easily distracted and/or have unique body movements, postures, or phrases that they tend to repeat. I also think impulsivity and routine is so important to the plot that it doesn’t need to be discussed, but was worth a brief mention.

Let’s talk about emotions! Gumball has the classic neurodivergent experience of either bottling up his emotions with no idea how to express them or going over the top with grand declarations and gestures. He feels things very intensely, as shown by his often dramatic reactions, but isn’t always sure how to process or express them. Darwin is always on one extreme of that scale, with no filter as to how he expresses and feels things. He is unafraid to cry in public, declare that something makes him feel good or bad, or say very bluntly what needs to be done to make him feel better (eg declaring he responds well to positive reinforcement- that sounds like therapist or guidance counselor language to me! Good job, Darwin! I wish I was as clear as you!). Likewise, Penny is prone to meltdowns after she breaks out of her shell, and she is so intensely emotional that she messes up her (likely well-rehearsed) cheer tryout due to being rejected by Gumball, and her physical form changes based on emotion. Banana Joe, Carrie, Masami, Sarah, arguably Anton, Carmen, Teri, Tina, Hector, and Sussie also express their intense emotions in big and obvious ways. Some examples include Masami’s meltdown in The Storm, Teri’s tendency to faint or cry, Carmen’s outburst (possibly a meltdown or breakdown) at her old school, and Tina’s tendency to use violence and anger as a first response when upset, even in “small” ways. (Note- I put small in quotes because something like being told it’s a waste of time to get piano lessons might not feel small to her, and could indeed warrant chasing and attacking Gumball.) On the other side of the scale, we have characters like Alan, Idaho, Bobert, Molly, Leslie, and Hector (again, as he behaves differently with or without his music box), who are capable of being dramatic or expressing emotion, but won’t acknowledge their feelings directly and might even be perceived as not having (many) emotions. For instance, Bobert is often referred to as not having emotions or not being a real person, a harmful stereotype against autistic folks, which is increased by the fact that he is a robot, which autistic folks are sometimes unfairly compared to. Alan is seemingly incapable of feeling negative emotions, to the point where his loss of hope wrecks Elmore, implying that he has a mental or emotional block from feeling and expressing these emotions. Molly references her “special dark place,” implying that she does get emotionally or sensorially overwhelmed, but has no way to express her needs (or lacks the confidence to do so) and would rather remove herself from a situation. Leslie is the most dramatic of the characters with emotional blocks or low emotional expression, but I would argue that since he never openly owns or discusses his emotions, (verbally or otherwise,) and instead turns to petty drama or denial, he also belongs in this category.

TL;DR: Most if not all of Miss Simian’s students exhibit classic symptoms of neurodivergence, be it autism, adhd, or both. Hopefully the many (x character) has (x diagnosis) posts I’ve seen floating around can supplement this theory! And of course, if you don’t buy this interpretation or just don’t like it, you don’t have to agree with me! But I think the idea of TAWOG having a majority neurodivergent cast is comforting, fun, and canon-compliant. :)

[theboywantscoffee]

The Handler is really a fascinating character to me as is her dynamic with Five and how alike they are. Get ready because I’m gonna go on a tangent about them.

I think it goes without saying that in many ways The Handler and Five are very similar people. They’re both pragmatic, goal orientated, cold, and quite simply, both willing to do absolutely anything needed to achieve what they want despite the repercussions others might face at their expense. They both lack a significant level of humanity, something that clearly is a requirement  to be able to do the work they do/did at the Commission. They are constantly at a battle of wits  and attempting to one up the other, both proving to be a formidable foil to the other consistently throughout the show. 

Where things start to contrast between the two is how they grew to be the people they are now. With Five, well, we know why he is the way he is. Five isn’t simply just a product of his childhood. Yes, he still retains a good level of characteristics from his youth into adulthood (arrogant, brash, sees himself as better than everyone else) but Five ultimately was sculpted into the man he is today due to his time subjected to the apocalypse and then shortly after, the Commission. 

The apocalypse did a number on Five. It isolated him for over four decades. It tore layer after layer of humanity away from him until he was left so distanced from other people that segueing into becoming an assassin was like second nature. It forced him to become entirely dependent on himself for survival in every aspect of the word. Physically, of course, he had to take care of all his basic survival needs; food, water, shelter, first aid, etc. Mentally and emotionally? He created a whole ‘nother person in the form of a mannequin to help him retain any semblance of either of those things. It damaged Five so deeply that afterwards he was left almost entirely incapable of empathy (key word, almost), unable to ask others for help/acknowledge he needs help, and able to see assassination as a reasonable means to justify an end. 

Five was left broken by the apocalypse. He is a product of it. And after going through that traumatic ordeal, he was offered a way out but only through accepting employment at the organization that sat by and allowed his suffering to go on for decades. (I’d love to go into the body modifications/DNA manipulation but that isn’t canon compliant for the show anyway (yet) so I won’t). He was transformed into the perfect killing machine. He took the lives of anyone and everyone who stood out of line by the Commission’s standards. Many who I’m sure weren’t actually bad people (ex, Lila’s parents), but because they were deemed irregularities in the timeline (or they were someone who The Handler could benefit from their death, ex Lila’s parents), they had to go. One doesn’t complete a task like that regularly without lacking a level of morality or connection to fellow humankind. 

But The Handler? We don’t really know her back story at all, so perhaps this is going out on a limb here, but I can at the very least say that she did not go through what Five did. There is really no one in the series whose backstory can equate to Five’s. And while I am not entirely excusing Five for being a shitty person sometimes, he and The Handler are very different in the fact that while he was sculpted into one, I think The Handler was just born an awful, monstrous human being. Actually worse than Five. And you know why?

The Handler isn’t even capable of love or empathy or putting anyone else before herself. We don’t see this at all, not even once. The Handler does things strictly for the benefit of herself and no one else. Even when her own self proclaimed daughter asks her if she ever loved her, The Handler doesn’t answer and then proceeds to murder her. Que sera, sera. (Whatever will be, will be). No remorse. No regret. Nothing.

Five, for all of his faults and flaws and uh, murder, still remains more connected to humanity than The Handler. Despite everything he has experienced, everything he has lost, he still has an inkling of heart that’s still beating for others left in him. Because Five still does love and care for people - his entire life purpose is to keep those people, his family, safe and alive, even at the expense of his own happiness and life. Five puts his family before himself every episode, every damn step of the way. He survives 40+ years alone and then works as an assassin for an unspoken measurement of time, all to save his family. 

The Handler throws up the front of being a people person and charming. And she does it really damn well. But in reality she is not morally gray. She doesn’t do some good things and some awful things. She is just all around horrible. She employs Five, again, to work for the organization that tore so much away from him. She dangles the idea of a new body before him, gives him a suit with the claim, “clothing make the man, Five,” as if he isn’t something to be taken seriously in his current physical state, as if he still isn’t the man who survived a lifetime in the end of the world and becoming an assassin. She claims that Five owes her because she ‘saved him from a lifetime of being alone’, which in actuality she watched and allowed him to suffer exactly just that. (I have another meta on here about that scene in particular, which you can read HERE). She tricks Five into murdering the board so she can assume power, all under the guise of claiming to help him get his family back to 2019, only to then use him as a scapegoat in their assassination. She literally kills him (almost) and all of his siblings. She writes the kill order on Lila’s parents, lets Five kill them, and then kidnaps Lila all for her own benefit. She continuously lies to her, ultimately betrays her, and kills her too. She sees zero wrongness in kidnapping a disabled boy from his mother so she can transform him into her weapon just like she did Lila. There isn’t a single instance in the entirety of the show where The Handler shows even an ounce of regret, only shock and anger when things don’t go her way. She is power hungry, merciless, and quite possibly even deranged with how unemotive she is towards other human beings.

And one more thing I want to touch on with The Handler that is a bit of a controversial topic in the show - her handsey-ness with Five. Her unnecessary touching and closeness. I am a firm non believer of the idea many have that her and Five used to be involved romantically or physically in any way. I think it’s quite a reach to imagine Five trusting her whatsoever at any point during their time knowing one another. Five is observant as hell and smart - I just can’t see him ever having an ounce of trust in her, especially with again, how she blatantly admits to him when they first meet that the Commission has been watching him for some time. So no, I don’t think her creepy touches with him have anything to do with a former fling (even if Kate or Aidan play into it that way or claim they might have in the past - sorry, headcanon not accepted lol). 

I view her behavior as demeaning. I see it as her being condescending towards him, like, “Oh, see how you betrayed me and now look at how you fucked up. Small and weak and nothing to be taken seriously.” She treats him like the tiny child he has physically become and she does it to make him feel inferior and like he has no control of the situation he is in or his life. It’s a slap in the face, a reminder of what he has done to himself because he left the Commission, and she does it because she knows how much it bothers him to be perceived that way. Everything she does and says around Five, she does to make him feel small. 

All in all, I really do love The Handler. Do I love that she played a larger role in season 2 than Carmichael? Absolutely not. I don’t love what her character did for the writing or the plot of the show and how it backburnered a lot of things. I think they missed out greatly on a character who was already a fascinating antagonist to Five (Carmichael). However, Kate Walsh is an absolute delight to watch on screen. Her and Aidan have great chemistry and play off one another very well and their scenes are certainly some of my most favorite to watch. I think The Handler is an amazing villain and keeping her as a female as opposed to a male Jon Hamm esque actor as they originally were intending to do was a great idea IMO. I love a female bad ass, even if she is a villain. I’m sad we won’t see more of her purely because she is so fun to watch (and her wardrobe is utter goals) but I’m definitely ready to move on to the next set of antagonists for our favorite dysfunctional family.

[carewyncromwell]

OTP ask game 💕 14 and 15 for Carewyn/Orion and Ru/Estrid

Sorry if I wrote their names wrong 🙈

Are there any love rivals?

Carion -- not exactly, but there were exes.

Carewyn's first and only school relationship was with Andre Egwu, her friend from Ravenclaw who also served as substitute Seeker and eventually Keeper on the Ravenclaw team. They dated in fourth year and most of fifth year before breaking up after the All-Wizard Tournament. Carewyn and Andre at first glance looked to be a perfect power couple, as they are both fashionable, creative, confident people who love Quidditch, but as much as they enjoy each other's company, unfortunately they couldn't quite give the other what they ultimately needed. In Carewyn's case, she really needed someone who could show proper emotional support, and unfortunately Andre wasn't the most attuned at picking up Carewyn's feelings under the mask she wore to obfuscate them. As for Andre, he really needed someone who was both more sociable and more into physical affection than Carewyn -- Carewyn, unknown to her at the time, is asexual, and she had a lot of difficulty putting that into words, and combined with her tendency to put on a brave face and pretend nothing's wrong, it made it difficult for her to open up to Andre and admit how she felt. And given that she didn't understand asexuality was a thing, she felt like it was some sort of shortcoming in herself, that she "couldn't be what he wanted," rather than just a difference in sexual preference. Fortunately the two were able to stay friends despite breaking up, and that break-up ultimately ended up making them closer, since as friends they understand each other in a way no one else does. There were other people who had a crush on Carewyn at school and at the Ministry -- one Hogwarts student I see as having nurtured a tiny crush on Carewyn was Cedric, though he grew out of it before long -- but none of those went anywhere. Carewyn's friends -- especially Tulip, oddly enough -- were actually rather protective of Carewyn when it came to dealing with unreciprocated crushes around Valentine's Day, heading people off before they could send her Secret Admirer notes or ask her out, since they knew she hated hurting people's feelings by turning them down, but would have absolutely no interest in going out with a complete stranger. If Carewyn and Orion were in an AU where the Vaults didn't exist and Carewyn could've remained on the Slytherin team longer, I could very easily see a scenario where the entire Slytherin team not-so-secretly ships their Captain with his "second-in-command" Carewyn, calling them "Dad" and "Mum" and citing their irritation that their "Mum" is seeing somebody else (namely, Andre) and that their "Dad" is so lost in his own head that he won't even try to do anything about it. 😂

As for Orion, he had several relationships post-Hogwarts before reconnecting with Carewyn, most of which didn't last long. The one that lasted the longest was with Delilah Flint, who ultimately gave birth to Orion's daughter Eos. Orion and Delilah started dating largely because they were on the same page in one essential way -- they didn't want to get married. They liked having their own lives and only wanted the freedom to get together when they needed some stable, engaging company. Most of Orion's previous partners kept trying to coax him to "take the next step" with them -- i.e. getting married, having children, and settling down -- and seemed to assume that eventually he'd come around to it, but Orion truly never wanted a traditional family life. He loves playing Quidditch more than anything and, at the start, he didn't want a wife, 2.5 kids, and a house with a white-picket fence. It was only when Delilah got pregnant and gave birth in 1996 that their priorities changed. Orion jumped into fatherhood two feet first and never looked back, taking Eos into his heart and vowing to never let her grow up alone and unloved like he did -- Delilah, thanks to a terrible combination of post-partum depression, financial instability, and a fear of the Wizarding War to come, was ready to give Eos up to an orphanage. Needless to say, Orion was unable to accept that, and after a strained back-and-forth where Orion was even willing to propose marriage to Delilah to keep his daughter in his life, Delilah ultimately decided to just drop Eos in Orion's lap and leave. They have never spoken again. Orion has also had his fair share of people who had crushes on him both at school and especially after becoming the Magpies' Star Chaser. I actually headcanon that one student tried to give Orion a Love Potion, only for Orion to somehow be able to "sense" that his drink had been compromised because "its aura was off" or something, and for him to gently confront them and counsel them about finding love in the right place, rather than manufacturing it. Because Orion is precious sunshine man and his heart is big enough to hold the world. 🥰

For Ru and Estrid @thatravenpuffwitch, Ru had plenty of competition when it came to courting Estrid, at least in theory. Estrid is part-Veela, so she's always had her fair share of admirers for her beauty, but Estrid -- being both on the asexual spectrum and secretly having social anxiety -- has never particularly enjoyed the attention. There were actually times Estrid used Ru like a shield even before they got together, pressuring them to dance with her at social gatherings just to get away from a group of Victorian "bros" seeking her favor. And admittedly, since Estrid was Ru's "keeper" and thus they ended up being in the same space a lot, there were plenty who presumed they were a couple, or at least interested in each other. Once Ru became fond of Estrid themselves, Ru became her shield willingly, and once they got together, Ru was Estrid's own personal bodyguard and wouldn't let anyone within three feet of her if she wasn't okay with it.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

I admit, even after all this time, I will always nurture a soft spot for the very first scene I wrote for Carion where I could really see them becoming romantic someday -- the Quest for the Quidditch Cup finale scene where they sit up in the commentator box together, watching the sunrise.

For Ru/Estrid, I have a headcanon of how Ru confessed their feelings to Estrid, and I actually really love it because it's rather romantic, in its own weird way.

Ru had some trouble accepting it when they developed feelings for Estrid. Most of the school had seen them as a couple back before they even liked each other as individuals simply because they were in the same space, so both of them had spent years denying that they felt "that way" about each other. Fortunately BFF Galen @cursebreakerfarrier was able to give Ru a nice dose of reality and Papa-Bearing, which woke Ru up enough to acknowledge that their denials weren't fooling anyone anymore. When the kelpie finally came to grips with their feelings, Ru, true to form, disdained the courting process and ended up declaring their intentions bluntly to Estrid.

"Look -- I'm attracted to you, okay? I know it's stupid, but I like you. I don't need you to act any differently, and I'm not going to prance about like a show horse trying to make you like me too. If you don't like me as I am, I'm not going to change myself so you do. The only reason I'm telling you is...well, for once, everyone else isn’t being stupid when they talk about me being interested in you -- and I just thought you aughta know. Now you do."

Estrid, once she recovered from the surprise, actually found the upfront honesty of Ru's confession very endearing.

OTP Asks!

[idonotbitemythumbatyou]

For eivor x fulke relationship questions:

- what would their lives be like if they had never met?

- did either of them try to resist their feelings?

- were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc)?

- who is more protective?

Thank you, anon, for enabling me. I am always happy to talk about Fulke - to the despair of my server friends. 

As my fic is explicit, answers to these questions will necessarily delve into sex and sexuality. Please know that before proceeding.  Anyway, to your questions!

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

If you look up the definition of “repressed” you’ll see a picture of Fulke. She is the quintessential closeted lesbian bully. I have met women like her. Fulke was my high school bully. Fulke would push you down the stairs and call you a dyke. Fulke is deeply invested in her niche interests and never dates. She forms strong friendships with other women which then explode into cruelty when she is unable or unwilling to acknowledge the true nature of her desires. Fulke is the friend who made snide comments when you started dating someone and getting laid on a regular basis. 

That’s the kind of person we’re dealing with - Just the Viking Era version. Now throw in a dash of Catholic theatricality, a heaping spoonful of shame surrounding her body and all the unwanted male attention it undoubtedly garnered her,† pepper in some internalized misogyny from being raised in a deeply gender-segregated society, and that’s Fulke.

So... yes. Fulke resisted her feelings. Or rather her desires. 

The way I’m writing her, she was attracted to Eivor pretty much right when they met. It just became twisted, and ugly, and angry. She’s rude and condescending to Eivor. Dismissive. It takes a lot for her to consider the possibility that Eivor might also have a latent god within.

Fulke can’t conceptualize her desires as anything other than a bad thing; sexual release is just another annoying thing her body needs for sustenance. Like food or water. Except, unlike food, it can be resisted.

She immediately loves Eivor once Odin is awakened. Not like, in a lover way. More in an abstract god-worshiping way. But her physical attraction is separate, and shameful. She feels that it sullies the pure love and devotion she feels for Eivor as a god. She doesn’t want to ruin everything she’s worked for all these years in a moment of weakness and lust. Which is  why she is so frustrated that Eivor doesn’t seem to have any similar hang ups, and why it’s so difficult for her to let herself give in to that attraction.

Her being attracted to Eivor from the beginning is really only supported by the canon in that she seriously has no reason to goad Eivor, or even appear before her once she’s got Sigurd in the game. And she has extra no reason to appear and be like “chase me! chase me!” once she gives Sigurd back. Like. Girl. just leave Sigurd at the alter there and make your escape. Live to research another day. But through the angle of this, like, angry repressed lesbian, her actions become a lot more interesting.

It’s been really fun to write her coming undone. Pun absolutely intended.

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

Significantly more chill.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc)?

Eivor’s done it all (and so has Odin) so no on that front. Fulke has definitely fucked before, but she tried not to enjoy it too much. I imply that Fulke spent some time in a convent. This doesn’t really line up with canon, but I’m ok with that. There was a lot of lesbonic shit going on in convents in the middle ages and Renaissance, so I’m headcanoning some deeply shameful fumbles with some of her fellow novices before she chopped her hair, and ran off to search for the truth and become an aggressively de-sexed paladin. 

I think there might have also been a man there at some point. I haven’t decided if I’m going to get into that, though, because it definitely would not have been something she wanted, and I don’t know if I’m up for exploring that in this particular story. I might just leave it up to interpretation.

This thing with Eivor is, however, Fulke’s first time having sex with the same person more than once.

Who is more protective?

Right now, Fulke. Eivor is literally a god to her. The very being she has been searching for, for years.

To Eivor, Fulke is a useful instrument, and fun to fuck. She values her for her expertise, her research ability, her knowledge of the current political landscape, and her hot bod. It would be a bummer if something happened to Fulke. She’d have to find someone else to do all the legwork, and go back to seducing nuns. Beyond that... Fulke is replaceable in her estimation.

But because this is a romance, we’re going to be following romance beats. So feelings will be caught, and soon Eivor will be equally protective of her.

† I clown on her hair constantly, but I headcanon that she cut it like that partly to make herself off-limits to men. Which is a lesbian mood if I ever...

[kirishwima]

what pisses off the RFA, or what makes them go T_T ?

ohh its good ol' angst time i see

YOOSUNG:

* When it comes to fears, things that twist his heart like thorns on a rose, the one thing that comes to mind is death.

* His first true experience with death and loss was when he lost Rika, and we all saw how much that affected him; it got him thinking of what it's like to die, what comes next, it makes him wonder if he's lived a life worth living and when he realizes he has done nothing of what he wanted to he panics, cries even

* When it comes to anger, what upsets him like no other are lies, or having his kindness being mistaken for naivety. He's a cheerful guy, he's gentle and caring; but he's not an idiot, and you'd be a fool to treat him as such.

* When people take advantage of his kindness he'll show them a face they've never seen before-long gone is sweet happy Yoosung and in his place comes a menace, his gaze ice cold and his words dripping venom.

ZEN:

* He likes to play at being a 'macho man', even though he too acknowledges the faults of toxic masculinity, even if he falls into some of its traps. Yet his biggest fear isn't to not be perceived as manly. No, his fear is to be acknowledged.

* What does that mean? You ask and you're right, it's very vague phrasing. For me at least, Zen seems to always be putting up an act (especially in other routes except his own); he's so scared of letting true emotions show, to expose himself for who he really is that he tries to pull a facade, be it over exaggerating and focusing on his beauty to flat out avoiding conversations so as to not show his cards, his isnecurities. He's afraid of being seen.

* As for what pisses him off, well...Jumin obviously lmao

* Nah, what really angers him like no other is greed and convinience. He hates being handed things, can't stand to be coddled. He needs to know he's earned his place and victories through his hard work and hard work alone. If he sees people taking advantage of the system, using priveleges others aren't privy to and then pretending they got to where they are on their own he WILL expose them for the idiots they really are lol

JAEHEE:

((friendly reminder that i havent plaged her route in a long while so these are mainly observations from other routes))

* She likes to pretend nothing truly fazes her, but truly Jaehee takes things to heart much more than one would think. That's also exactly why she's built up walls for herself, afraid of letting anyone else in because...what if they hurt her? What if they don't like what they find once she lets them in? ...what if they leave?

* Of course the death of her parents impacted her like no other event, and losing loved ones in a flash like that is jarring, especially at a young age; so Jaehee's always afraid of people getting too close, and worse-of people leaving.

* As for anger, she HATES being taken advantage of. Similarly to Yoosung, but the main difference is that it's not her kindness people tend to take advantage of, but her capabilities and resilience. People think she's a reliable wall, piling things atop of her without even once thinking she might break under the pressure.

* What's worse, is Jaehee will rarely if ever lash out in anger, or even at least tell people to stop. She lets them lean on her until she can't no more, and then she simply takes a step back away from them, becomes cold but never mean. It might just be that she doesn't know how to.

JUMIN:

* Yes yes, Jumin the 'robot' as Zen calls him does have feelings, and fears and worries-truly he might be more human beneath his cold exterior than any one person may ever truly know.

* Jumin's big flaw is that once he's attatched to someone, once he bonds with them, he'll be there for life. Even if the person he loves is to kick him to the ground, even if they hurt him and dispose him like a carcass, if he's with you he's with you 'till the end of the line. Jumin's fear is that he cares too much or not at all, and there's no inbetween.

* He's learnt to deal in extremes, and that's not a trait you can simply unlearn; moderation has never been a part of him, and he fears it never will. So he'll love, or he'll hate, but he'll never simply tolerate (even if he may sometimes make it seem that way).

* As for anger, there's very few things that infuriate Jumin. Or rather, it's that he bottles in his furstrations until much later on he reaches a tipping point, unlesshing all those grievances like breaking glass. For him to come to that point though, it takes a LOT.

* One thing that can and will anger him like no other, even to the point of being physically fighting, is seeing someone mistreat animals. He WILL throw hands don't test him just because he looks like a prim and proper gentleman. 😤

SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:

* I mean...we all know Seven is in fact a bundle of insecurities and fears moulded into human form.

* His fears and worries are countless and they often keep him up at night; losing the ones he loves, being unable to help as people he cares about suffer, having others be put in an unfavorable situation because of him...oh wait these are all things that HAVE happened and he has gone through. No wonder this man is as closed off as he is.

* So yeah, he has a myriad of fears. But honestly, and this will sound cliche I know...his biggest fear is himself. Wether he's good enough, wether he's worthy of love, if it's okay for him to be cared for, they're all worries that choke his throat, making him push others away for their own sake. Teaching Saeyoung to accept himself, and him truly believing he's capable of being loved is a long hard process.

* When it comes to anger, well generally he's learnt to keep his cool under most situations given his training, but he will go feral if he sees anyone being abused under any form. Knowing what it's like to be a victim in your own house, to cower from the people that should be there to protect you-he'll fight for the victims with tooth and nail.

V/JIHYUN:

* Similarly to Seven V's a burrito of insecurities, with a stuffing of fears and worries.

* He'a afraid of hurting the ones he loves, afraid that he's too much, too little, not enough and overwhelming all at once. He's afraid of moderation, afraid he'll never be able to provide the love one needs as they need it.

* In truth, he's afraid of being abandoned, and this deeply rooted fear is the one that blooms the rest of his insecurities and worries. He's afraid that if he doesn't mould himself into exactly what the other person seeks, they'll leave him in search of something better. He's terrified of being alone.

* When it comes to anger, in the past as a young teen the slightest thing could infuriate him, and he'd freely voice his anger even if it hurt others. Nowdays though, mainly because of the aforementioned fears, he's learnt to handle his anger, and it's a feeling he rarely experiences.

* One thing that can anger him to no end though, is if you dare hurt or taunt the ones he loves. If you even look at the ones he cares for the wrong way, he'll point you with a glare so cold and sharp you can feel blood pool on the tip of your tongue.

* Don't mess with V's family. DON'T.

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions-

[talesfromunderland]

And It Comes to An End.

Pain was a funny thing, the way it only could be on a cruel world. Tessa had believed she’d known it, living for centuries, watching those she loved slowly turn to dust. She thought it could no longer surprise her.

How terribly wrong she was.

The day was perfect, with it’s clear skies and cool morning breeze. Perhaps too perfect, for the grimness and grief was heavier than any storm cloud could hope to make.

Tessa watched so many people come and go, whispering words of comfort as they passed by with their bloodshot eyes.

Funerals were all the same, Tessa had long ago decided. The same bleak cloud over one’s senses, not allowing the sun to warm their skin or the wind from cooling it. It made everything easier to feel far away, to detach themselves so easily from their bodies and minds. She saw it on faces of Emma Carstairs and Julian Blackthorn, the grief. On Magnus Bane’s, the hollowness.

All of this she watched, standing away from all of them, on a little hill under the tree’s shadow, as she always did this days.

Even from here, Tessa could see two specific figures watching them all. One asleep, though.

Mina had started to fuss at the long hours they had stayed standing and only short minutes after Kit had picked her up did she fall asleep. Tessa longed to run her hands through her daughter’s beautiful silky hair, so much like her father’s.

She wondered if she would be able to restrain herself this time. Though fate seem wanting to test her one final time as she beheld Kit.

Tremors ran along his shoulders, whether from carrying Mina or something else, invisible to all eyes but Tessa’s, even at the distance. Her very spirit strain to reach over, to take her baby girl and embrace her boy, to soothe the wound on his ever aching soul. to help, to always help. Instead, she kept her arms firmly on her sides and her feet pinned where they were.

The past days had told her not to try. 

Not again. 

Not ever.

That was the heavy burden of being dead among the living.

She still didn’t really remember how it happened. Tessa knew the events but in the way one knew a second-handed story, not her own. There had been a distress call, an Institute under attack with gravelly injured residents. She and Jem had arrived, fought them off and bought the members enough time to escape when a heavy, foul-smelling body crash on her and darkness became her view. From then on, she didn’t remember.

Maybe it was a small mercy, being unable to remember such cruel deaths. To not have to carry such a burden to the afterlife.

“Such a horrid event for such a beautiful day,” drawled a voice behind her, one she hadn’t heard in over a century but never forgotten. “Had this sun been shining on London, I would had laid buck-naked on the Institute's roof, getting such a gorgeous tan.”

A huff of a laugh, this one from another voice, said, “I’m afraid that funerals can’t be scheduled only on rainy days, William, no matter if stories or movies say otherwise.” Another huff and Jem said, “And not all of us would enjoy the idea of watching you running around naked.”

Will faked shock and quickly got to adjust his collar, as if trying to recompose his dignity.

“I hear that many people would find it an honor to be witness to the pure glory of the Herondale body, so I really see no downside.”

“Your descendent had the privilege to bestow such honor, thought the witnesses have other words for the moment.”

They went on like that for a while longer, thought Tessa only half listened. The wind around them had taken a chiller feel, even in her ghostly form.

Would she remember the wind, when she was gone? Would she forget, even for a moment, the people she left behind. Her heart refused to consider the possibility, though her mind did little else.

She ignored their approach, only acknowledging them when a hand she knew better than her own was placed on her shoulder.

“Tessa?” said Jem.

“I don’t want to miss anything.” It was the truth. She did not want to forget anything, not the faces of her friends and family, not the views this world offered, not anything. She would forget nothing.

As if reading her thought, Will said, “Time is non-existent on the other side. There will be days you will remember everything here as if it happened a minute ago. Others where you will remember nothing expect what’s in front of you. But,” he added, “I never forgot either of you, on the other side. I would sometimes my life before: Magnus, the shadowhunter life, the Institutes...but never you. I forgot many but never you. Either you. You were the only things I never forgot once during all those years.”

Those words... Will always knew what to tell her, what she need to hear, whenever words felt too much for her. It gave her the strength to do what needed to done next.

To walk toward she saw their crowns, one gold, one dark, to one of them who would see just as if she were alive...

I forgot many... but never you...either of you.

Love wasn’t weak. It never was and never would be. This pain... it would serve as a memory, as I reminder of all the things she had lost but also gained, in places neither she or Jem would be forgotten. It would be all they had left until it was time, because it was proof of all the good things they had done. They were missed because they did good. Who could ask for a better legacy?

The first thing when she reached them was see Kit’s eyes. They were hollowed, dark and bloodshot, the signs of the many sleepless nights, whether from crying and comforting Mina.

The weight in her chest became heavier, having left him so much on his shoulders, but she steeled herself enough to speak.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Kit didn't even flinch. She’d heard the sadness in her voice but was please to know it didn’t tremble. Not like her heart. “I’m so sorry, Kit. I wish it hadn’t end like this. I wish we might have had more time, to tell you everything. But remember you are loved. You’ve always had and always will be. Mina will be alright. You will be alright. You are not alone. You will never be alone. We love you.”

Invisible tears fell down her tears as she took a step back. She could will them away if she desired but right now they feeling of the warm water on her skin calmed something inside her.

This was their final good bye, until it was time.

Kit wouldn’t turn to her, Tessa knew. Not to any of them, maintaining his sights ahead the only thing from keeping from falling to his knees, avoiding questions he wasn’t prepared to answer.

So Tessa left him, her chest caving in for every step she took her away from them.

She didn’t see the new tears that fell on from the golden haired boy. Didn’t see his arms tightening around the sleeping child in his arms, not as he whispered on her tiny ear, “They are alright. They are happily. They are finally together.”

When Tessa finally reached them, Will was smiling faintly at her. “They will be alright,” he told her. “Carstairs and Herondales always stick together. And I have a feeling,” he added, “that the Blackthorn boy will do everything to help them.”

Tessa smiled. “Which Blackthorn boy?” Indeed, Tiberius had returned, sticking to Kit’s side with silent solidarity. Julian, other hand, had gone straight to Christopher and had volunteer to care for Mina to give them a bit of privacy, thought Kit was unmoved. The eldest Blackthorn boy could never pass the chance to, the Angel always protect him.

At her side, Jem was looking at them both with such love, something he never hided but now shone so deeply that Tessa knew she was truly seeing the full extend of it.

“What?” she laughed softly.

Jem shook his head, still smiling as he took both her and Will’s hands as he said, “Nothing, just,” he beheld at the hands at his hands then at the ones Tessa and Will also clapped together, “that the circle has finally come to an end.”

Tessa smiled, and realized she was not afraid. To what may await beyond this world, this dimension, she was not afraid. How could she be, when her very parts of her soul were together once again, like never before and how it always should had being.

Together always. Until the end and whatever may be beyond.

“And it comes to an end,” she said.

And then they vanished.

Here you @daisyherxndale just like a promised! I'm so sorry it took me so long to write, i tried and tried and nothing but now i have this! This is the first time I write Herongraystairs so I hope I did it right. Lost of love.

Also tagging: @oopstheregoesthatlifeofmine @imabitchforjemcarstairs @vanillalipstick66 @khaleesiofalicante @christopher-lightwood-my-heart @fair-but-wilde-child @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname @cordelia-carstairs-owns-me @cristinablackthornkingson @alastaircarstairsx @nerdygurlly @biablackthorn

Originally posted it as this headcanon, before I was able to write it into this.

[redrobin-detective]

Even More ATLA headcanons

- One reason Zuko and Mai hit it off so well immediately after Zuko’s banishment was removed is because he and Mai had been engaged since childhood. They’d known from a young age they would marry each other. Because of this, they were always extra attentive around another and did develop a bit of a crush. When Zuko returned to the Fire Nation, they just assumed they’d pick back up and found those same feelings there which only grew.

- Zuko insisted on teaching Toph to “read”. She memorized how to write her own name and any contract she made had to be first written into stone. He never flinched from her blindness, never forgot but also never made excuses for it. No one else knows but Zuko experienced a few weeks of total blindness after his injury so he understands but at the same time won’t let Toph limit herself because of it. No one understood Toph like Zuko did. 

- Aang was a very loving, doting father to Bumi and Kya. He was very open and playful with them. He’d kind of given up on having airbending children so when Tenzin, a surprise third baby, was an airbender Aang was beside himself. But he’d given so much to his duty as the Avatar he also felt it was his job to raise Tenzin in the Air Nomad lifestyle to preserve the culture. It was very much unintentional but he treated his third child differently than the others. Bumi and Kya thought it was favoritism while Tenzin felt a bit secluded. 

- Until the day he dies Zuko is so awkward and blushy when people express their love for him. Uncle hugs him tightly and says he’s so proud and Zuko squirms even though he feels happier than 1000 suns. The Gaang slips casual ‘I love yous’ all the time and Zuko just goes ‘bwah!?’ (even though 5 minutes later he says it back quietly, as if fearing repercussions). Even when he finally gets it through his thick skull that he has amazing people who do genuinely care for him, his first gut reaction is always shock and a bit of discomfort. 

- The reason we don’t see anyone else but the royal family lightningbend in the ATLA series is because most Fire Nation citizens don’t even know its possible. It was discovered by some Fire Royal (Sozin maybe) and carefully kept secret, up to and including murdering anyone who discovers it. They wanted the royal line to have such a deadly attack known only to their family. When Zuko is Fire Lord, he makes sure to spread the knowledge so its common by Korra’s era.

- When benders become ill, spiritually or physically, they become disconnected from their elements. Waterbenders burn up with fever, hot, sweaty and choking on heat. Earthbenders become dizzy and weak, unable to focus or root themselves. Firebenders freeze, becoming chilled to the bone, shivering and shaking unable to warm up. Airbenders feel heavy and weighed down, every movement is a struggle. Needless to say their bending is also pretty much gone during the illness. Non-benders somewhat feel the same but much less extreme.

- Katara was the last of the Gaang to leave the Fire Nation after the comet, about 6 mo afterwards. Despite what he claimed, Zuko was still badly hurt from Azula’s lightning and required near daily healing sessions with an expert in lightning in injuries. The others had other duties to attend to leaving Katara and the Fire Lord properly alone. During this time, they built up their friendship properly and finally were able to bury old grievances and move forward.

- Sokka dares not bring it up but after his time in the Spirit World he became very spiritually attuned not unlike Iroh. Sometimes he suspects his ‘instincts’ are the whisperings of spirits guiding him in the right direction. He tries very hard to pretend he’s not always seeing things out of the corner of his eye or to not notice how thin the barrier between the spirit world is.  

- Team Avatar loves all its members but within the group there’s something of a divide. On one side is Katara, Aang and Sokka and on the other Zuko, Toph and Sokka. Sokka is the bridge between the two ‘cliques’ able to feel at home with both and help smooth over differences. Ty Lee is also able to traverse the two groups while Mai is firmly in Tokko’s camp & Suki in Katang’s. Its something understood but not acknowledged, its less a competition and more “I feel more comfortable/get along slightly better with these specific friends.” 

- Zuko is super good with animals, not only is he a natural heat source but despite his awkwardness he just exudes this gentle energy creatures are drawn too. Even at the beginning of the series, at his most volatile, he never raised a hand towards a helpless being who couldn’t defend themselves animals. Aang has an unfair advantage as the Avatar spirit calls to them (how they form bonds with their animal guides) but Zuko is right up there when it comes to animal whisperer. 

- The Gaang is so ridiculously biased towards Zuko and leaps at any chance to defend him. Some minor Earth King comments that he won’t deal with another miserly murdering Fire Lord and Aang must be restrained from going all Avatar State on them. Zuko is so embarrassed “My personal friends aren’t supposed to stop people from saying mean things about a world leader” completely missing Iroh in the background giving said King crazy eyes like ‘just imagine you could have had me as Fire Lord instead of my sweet nephew’

[hawkland]

Dear Chocolate Box Creator

Hello and thank you for creating for me! 

For this exchange I am requesting fic for my gift, but I would always adore any art treats! (I just am terrible at coming up with art prompts most of the time, which is why it’s hard for me to specifically request them.)

For this exchange I’m giving more general prompts/likes than a lot for specific pairings - because frankly with so many pairings requested this would turn into a novel otherwise. Please just have fun and know that with most of these ships being on the rarer side, I’m thrilled to see anything new for them (minus any of my DNWs, of course ;) If I don’t have specific prompts for a ship below that doesn’t mean I would adore it any less than the other ships - my brain is just broken on coming up with new prompts for them at this point in time because I’ve been requesting them for so long :)

Do Not Wants (unless a specific exception is listed below)

A/B/O

formalized BDSM relationships and kink

pregnancy/kidfic 

permanent death or permanently disabling injury

violence/cruelty toward animals

2nd person "reader" POV 

trans or asexuality headcanons.

General likes/prompts:

For both romantic and platonic ships...

* Vacation/travel stories. Being unable to travel this past year thanks to covid-19 has me desperate to explore and live vicariously through my favorite characters! So I’d love a story involving travel to somewhere new. It could be a romantic getaway/honeymoon trip to somewhere special (and I love it when an author “takes me” to a favorite city/place of their own). Or two friends just going on an escapade together, maybe one sensing the other needs some time away from a stressful situation or workplace.

* Quarantine/life-in-2020 stories. I also enjoy stories about how characters have had to deal with self-quarantine, covid, and other related issues this year. I know many people may be sick of it, but as a health care worker myself stuck with it all for who knows how long (and missing family members overseas I can’t visit), it gives me some comfort to imagine how my favorite characters and ships are coping, too. Are they somehow stuck apart for a long period of time? Driving each other crazy cooped up at home? Discovering some new hobby or passion together? Being good emotional support for each other while dealing with distance from other family/loved ones?

* Soumates with a twist. I love soulmate/soulbond AUs, as long as it’s just not a shortcut to happily-ever-fluff. I want there to be some conflict or angst involved. For instance, I’d love seeing any “fusion” fics based off the concept of the AMC-network “Soumates” series - where there’s a scientific test a person can choose to take to find their soulmate (if the other person out there has also taken the test). That way it’s a choice to find out or not. Would an already established couple want to take the test to find out if they’re really “meant” to be together or not? What if they find out other people are their “soulmates”? What about the possibility of platonic soulmates vs romantic? Discussions for the future if/when one partner dies before the other? I’d love to see these questions played out with one of my fave ships in a happy or even somewhat angsty/dark way.

* Someone has an unexpected hobby or talent. One person has been holding out on the other about some unique interest, skill or hobby that they have. Could be anything from being a secret gourmet cook to stamp collecting - I’d just love a story about the discovery of this hidden interest, why the person never talked about it, if it’s something they could share together (or it just leaves the other person completely bewildered, aka, “You do you.”)

For romantic ships, specifically:

* Age difference dynamics.  The age gaps in a lot of my romantic ships are a plus, not a minus :) I like the general power dynamics involved in them, but generally with the twist where the younger individual is perhaps more experienced/worldly in some way than the older character (for instance, how Eleanor is so cynical and knows all about the world whereas Michael in The Good Place, despite being an immortal being around for millennia, has so much to learn about human behavior and humanity.) I’m not into formalized BDSM situations/power-play, for clarification, so it’s more of a relationship dynamic that I like, not a sexual kink.

Specific Ship Requests

Crossover Fandom

Stewart Copeland (The Police (Band))/Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters) - one of my perennial favorite ships to always request. Would love any of my general prompts above.

Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz)/Stewart Copeland (The Police (band)) - I’d love to see them meet up backstage or at an afterparty somewhere, and bonding over having their annoying lead singer/frontman “steal away” THEIR respective bands.

Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz)/Peter Hook (New Order) - Something during the recording of “Aries”, of course! Is Murdoc jealous about having another bass player as a featured/guest artist? Have to prove who’s the one in charge? 

Lucifer (Lucifer TV)/Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz) - “Hail, Satan!” indeed! What wouldn’t an avowed Satanist like Murdoc love about the chance to meet - and perhaps service - his hero and spiritual leader? What would (this particular) Satan think about Murdoc and some of his truly awful shenanigans?

Abe Morgan (Forever TV 2014) & John Munch (Law & Order: SVU) - I’ve had a long running headcanon that these two could have been friends back in their respective 60s/early 70s hippie days. I’d love either a story set back then, “pre-canon”, or them running into each other in NYC later in life. Munch ending up in Abe’s antique shop, for instance, while on an investigation?  

The Police

Stewart Copeland/Sting (The Police) - any of my general prompts, of course. Plus I’m always a sucker for reunion tour-era fluff, getting back together after all those years. Or something hot and sweaty set on Montserrat during the Ghost in the Machine or Synchronicity sessions.

Gorillaz

Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot (Gorillaz)

Murdoc Niccals & Noodle (Gorillaz)

Gorillaz is my newest obsession/fandom - and yes I know I’m like 20 years late for it. For 2Doc I would love anything angsty related to Plastic Beach/Phase 3 - I know it’s been done to death by now but it is my favorite part of the lore (and my favorite Gorillaz album). Also The Lost Chord video was so amazing...I’d love any kind of “what happens next” story set afterwards, what with 2-D saving Murdoc and all the feels that had to involve, after everything Murdoc did to 2-D on Plastic Beach.

I also adore the father/daughter dynamic between Murdoc and Noodle in phases 1 & 2...he’s such a “bad dad” but I love it. I’d love to see anything where he reacts to her giving him an unexpected gift, or just manages to warm/melt his icy bastard heart just a little bit.

Law & Order SVU

John Munch/Odafin "Fin" Tutuola (L&O: SVU) - they’re my perennial favorite request these days and I will never tire of stories about these two! Anything goes that fits my general requests or prompts!

ER

John Carter/Peter Benton (ER 1994) - I was quite excited to see this ship in the tagset, and yes, please, there needs to be more of them! I watched ER through completely for the first time a couple years ago and they were the first ship I had while doing so. The mentor/mentee dynamic is right up my alley, I loved how Peter was there with John when he needed help for his addiction, and oh, that final episode. Any little “missing scenes” between them would be so wonderful. Or, something modern day, where might they be now as a long-time established couple? Celebrating an anniversary, or perhaps taking a moment to acknowledge something less happy/lost loved ones from the past. 

The Good Place

Eleanor Shellstrop/Michael (The Good Place) - some day, some how, someone has to write some decent tentacle porn for this ship. They’d have to figure out some way to make it work with Michael in his true fire squid form. And while I’m not normally into kid/pregnancy fic, what if somehow Eleanor ends up pregnant with a half-squid half-demon baby? Yes, I know she’s dead. But somehow in this canon it has to be possible.

[magicjesuscup]

Servant headcanons for masters with autism’s/ADHD (whichever you’re familiar with) my preferred servants: Diarmuid Ua Duibhne Artoria saber Astolfo Jeanne d'Arc (NSFW allowed but not necessary)

I’m not super familiar with either, so I had to do a little research for this one. Sorry if these hcs seem a bit uninformed; I did my best. OTL

It’s below the thing because it’s a little lengthy, but SFW and no spoilers.

Autism (in the scope of all of history) is a fairly recent diagnosis, so none of the servants know much about it. They acknowledge that's it's always been a thing; it just has a name now and people know more about it. The Grail has given them some knowledge of what it is, but none of the four are happy with that limited amount of information. Diarmuid and Astolfo try to understand your condition more by being with you all the time; the best way to wrap your head around something is to put yourself in the thick of it, right? Artoria and Jeanne talk to other people (mainly Romani) to try to get more information.

If you say you have no/very few friends, congratulations, you are now Jeanne's friend, a knight of Fianna, the 13th paladin of Charlemagne, and a knight of the round table.

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne

He's very patient during your bouts of hyperactivity. He struggles to keep up, but he does his best. He'll even take over for you when you're too tired to continue so whatever you were doing will get done.

When things don't go as planned and you're having trouble adapting, Diarmuid tries his best to make things go as you had planned (with little success).

If you're having sleep problems, he'll adapt to your schedule. He's a servant after all; he doesn't need to sleep.

If you flap your hands/arms when anxious, Diarmuid will immediately know you're anxious and do whatever necessary to calm you down. Does talking work? He'll talk your ear off. Does something else work? He'll do that instead. Whatever it takes, he'll do it.

If you're not terribly into hygiene, Diarmuid will be your reminder to do things like wash your hands, shower, brush your teeth. He won't force you to do any of it though.

Artoria (saber)

Artoria is unable to keep up when you're feeling hyperactive, so she opts to supervise (read: stay out of your way) instead.

Singularities rarely go as planned. In fact, you usually have to go through multiple plans before you succeed. This flexibility is a little hard for you, so Artoria reframes things for the next singularity (and all of the ones that follow). "The plan this time is to trust me; I'll handle this." That way, when she does something, it doesn't work, and you start to panic, she reminds you, "This changes nothing. You're still trusting me. I'm still handling this. The plan is the same. Fear not."

If you're having sleep problems, Artoria will try to keep you up during the day with some form of physical activity in the hope that if you're awake all day doing things you'll sleep well at night.

When Artoria sees you flapping your arms/hands, she'll know that you're anxious, but will have zero idea how to make you feel better. This sort of thing has never been her strong suit. She'll ask you, Romani, literally anyone for advice on what to do.

Have you ever ridden back from a battlefield with hundreds of sweaty, bloody men in the middle of summer (these men, by the way, are made even hotter/sweatier by their metal armor and layers of padding underneath; you could smell that army literally miles away)? You haven't? Artoria has, so no matter how long you forgo bathing, your odor won't even register for her.

Astolfo

Astolfo is very energetic and perfectly capable of keeping up with you during times you're feeling hyperactive. He can actually go longer than you can, but doesn't mind taking a break when you get tired.

He's very good at making things up as he goes; that's actually how he operates most of the time. Plans are nice, but he's not that terribly good at thinking ahead. He's at a loss when you have trouble adapting, but he does want you to feel better about doing something different. He'll suggest 100 different alternatives, even if that doesn't actually help; also you should absolutely shoot some of those ideas down because a good chunk of them are terrible. Try not to be too hard on him though; he's just throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks.

Astolfo has zero issues letting you nap during the day if you're having trouble sleeping at night. He'll nap with you if you want, and stay up chatting with you during all hours of the night if you can't sleep.

If you flap your hands/arms when anxious, Astolfo will notice if people are staring at you. He's not sure if you notice (or care), but he starts doing the same thing you're doing but more exaggerated. Plus he tires to turn it into some kind of awkward dance to draw everyone's attention to him (and more importantly, away from you). It works every time.

If you don't want to bathe, Astolfo will find a way to turn bath time into a game. You'll both be wearing swim suits, and you might not be super clean afterwards. But you were exposed to some water, and that's close enough, right?

Jeanne d'Arc

During your bouts of hyperactivity, Jeanne is a little worried about you burning out. She'll feel a better when she learns this is normal for you.

If you're having trouble adapting to a new plan, Jeanne tries to talk you through it and reassure you that everything will be alright. She also hopes this new idea works so you don't have to go through another plan change.

Jeanne is very much an "early to bed, early to rise" type and at first doesn't quite know what to make of your sleep schedule. When you're awake late at night, she tries to hunt down Mozart to play something to help you fall asleep or Marie during the day to help you stay awake (because she's just so amusingly bizarre, though Jeanne's too kind to say that).

If she sees you flapping your arms/hands, she has a laundry list of ways to help you self soothe (compliments of Da Vinci); she’ll run through the whole thing to see what works to help you feel better.

If you’re not a fan of hygiene, Jeanne tries to figure out why you dislike bathing and come up with a solution. Don't like the feeling of water falling on you in the shower? Try a bath and see how that works. Don't like sitting in water? Give a sponge bath a try. Don't like the texture of the wash cloth/loofah? You can try using your hands; people have been doing that for centuries. If all else fails, she might suggest wiping yourself down with some wet wipes.

TLDR: Jeanne tries to help you adapt to more conventional behaviors/schedule. Diarmuid goes with the flow. Astolfo is well-intentioned, but not terribly helpful; so is Artoria, but she's a tad bit more helpful.

[emmyrosee]

Ok... so I might have an headcanon for Roman (if it doesn't suck, if it does... ignore it). But like imagine that reader is Shelley's best friend (because I love her) and Roman, being a bit protective of his sister, has this love-hate relationship with Reader, with them being annoying assholes to each other. But one day he accidentally walks in on a very juicy confession, between Shelley and Reader, where the reader confesses that she has a crush on Roman, but is afraid that is unrequited...

…my love… this is going to become a novel, sit back, grab a snack, and get comfy because noW YA GOT ME THINKING, AND I LOVE SHELLEY SO IMMA GO OFF EVERY CHANCE I CAN

So kinda like Peter, you were always just really nice to Shelley, treating her like she was normal because in basically every aspect, she is perfectly normal. You two instantly clicked, doing homework together and having her basically teach you how to do calculus (pffff whaaaat, totally didn’t put that in there because I suck at calc, whaaaaaat) and overtime, you two just became inseparable. The first time she showed you what she looked like without her hair, you cried because of how beautiful you thought she was.

Well one day, you and Shelley were hanging out at her place, despite her worries about what her mother might think, you assured her that you wouldn’t cause any sort of worry or calamity to the Godfrey house.

And you’d kept your promise… until Roman walked in, red apple in his hand. Shelley, of course, lit up in excitement as Roman plopped down next to her, while you and him merely glared at each other. You never really gotten along with the Upir, and you sure as hell weren’t about to start.

“Now what’s the princess of Hemlock Grove doing with this peasant?” Roman teased, making Shelley laugh quietly. You rolled your eyes at him, “sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, oh great Roman, but I need help passing this class because not everyone has a mother that will fuck her teachers so they can pass.”

Roman shrugged, “you act like I care enough about Olivia to defend her from that comment.” He stood up as he took a bite from his apple, the juice covering his cherry-red lips as he winked at you and nudged Shelley’s nose before leaving. She turned to you before typing ‘are you okay?’ On her device. You shrugged, “don’t worry about me. I’ve heard worse from better.” Shelley nodded before turning back to her paper, guilt filling her eyes.

“Shelley-bean,” (I love that nickname for her, okay, don’t @ me) you whisper, wrapping an arm around her. “Roman’s nothing more than a buzz in my ear. It’s gonna take a lot more than him to break me down.” You assured her, smiling sweetly. She finally nodded in agreement before smiling again, and you copied Roman’s gentle touch to her nose.

This continued for a while, you and Shelley would be doing something, and Roman would be there to make a comment or do something to make you jump.

Watching a movie? He’d reach over the couch to tickle you. Doing homework? He’d lean over your shoulder like a nosy teacher and tell you were doing things wrong when you very clearly weren’t. Making popcorn? He’d take a kernel from the bowl and flick it at you before strolling off. But you weren’t short to send it right back; you’d rip out a piece of paper from your notebook paper and beam it at his head, catching him off guard as you and Shelley held back your laughter. You’d poke his shoulder as you walked by to make him look,

If it didn’t make Shelley laugh so hard, you’re fairly sure neither of you would continue to harass each other. But her genuine, gentle laughter was enough to make you both happy, and you enjoyed messing with Roman whenever you could.

But you didn’t know just how much you liked teasing him until one night you just… couldn’t sleep. You kept thinking about all the times you’d teased him, how hard his retaliations would make you laugh, and vice versa. The crinkles of a smile against his piercing green eyes, cherry lips curling upwards to reveal rows of perfect, white teeth, and skin smooth enough to draw on.

Not that you’d needed to, Roman was a goddamned masterpiece as it was.

Night after night, you’d imagination took to the form of Roman, in bed next to you, caressing your cheek until you were soothed enough to finally sleep, but you fought it because you just wanted to keep getting lost in those pools of green.

One night, you couldn’t take it. You sat up in bed, grabbed the closest writing utensil and paper and just… wrote.

You wrote and wrote, filling the page with desires of “The Green Eyed Man,” and everything you wanted to do with him. Wanted to be with him.

The next day, half exhausted from your sudden nighttime creative session, you and Shelley hung out again, and this time, you were so wary of Roman, flinching away from his teases and touches and barely acknowledging him.

Shelley, being the ever observant lady she is, immediately picked up on your sudden lack of playfulness. ‘Are you okay?’

“Yeah!” You lied. “Yeah I Uh, I’m good.” You pulled out the English assignment you’d done last night and handed it to her, a smile on your face. “Can you just check this over for me for any errors or anything?”

Shelley nodded as she began to read, a blush spreading across her face. You shifted awkwardly as you looked at your English book, tilting your head in confusion at the paper sticking out.

Wait.

WAIT.

‘You’ve had motivation,’ Shelley typed, a shy smile on her face. Your face grew hot at her words.

“The Green Eyed Man” was held in Shelley’s hands. Not the English assignment.

“I am so sorry you had to read that,” you whispered quietly, taking the paper from her hands.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

“No,” you sighed, crumpling up the paper, tossing it away. “I don’t know why suddenly I feel this way.”

‘It could be-‘

“Well well, what’s this?” Roman asked, and your head immediately shot up. You whipped around to face him, tears welling in your eyes. He had a cherry popsicle in one hand and he bent down to pick up your borderline confession in the other.

“Roman,” you sniffed. “Please give me the paper.”

“Why?” He asked, uncrimping it. You buried your face in Shelley’s shoulder as he read, unable to face him.

The room stayed silent as he read, and a few minutes later his expensive boots clamped against the floor.

“Hey,” he said softly, and you shamefully lifted your head. He was grinning, and you wanted to slap him in the face to clean the smug smirk off of it.

“This,” he held up the paper. “Is hot. I’ll be keeping this.” He tucked it in his pocket as he bit the end of his popsicle.

“And if you’re ever not hanging out with Shelley but you need some Godfrey in your life, give me a ring.” He added with a wink, making your heart stop and your stomach drop. He walked away cockily with his popsicle, “The Green Eyed Man’ crinkling in his pocket.