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ginnsbaker · 1 year ago

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In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (5/?)

Chapter summary: The "calm" before the storm. Wanda’s tentative friendship with you is off to a good start

Chapter word count: 5.4k+

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader (heavy on this chapter)

Notes: don't need to squint for fluff in this one, also kind of a filler before we get to the much dreaded part 6

AO3 | Masterlist

Next Chapter: Six

Five

Wanda’s tentative friendship with you is off to a good start. There’s a silly smile on her face as she puts the harness on Sparky; and the energetic pupper struggles only slightly when Wanda coos at him.

“We’re going to see Y/N,” Wanda says, and Sparky wags his tail hard at the mention of your name. “Who’s an excited little boy?”

She proceeds to hook the leash on the harness and then temporarily secure the hand loop around the doorknob.

“Stay there while mommy puts on makeup.” Wanda commands and feeds him a treat from her hand.

Wanda studies herself in front of the mirror. It’s a problem putting on the liquid foundation because she can’t stop smiling, the product caking along her laugh lines as a result.The last time she was drunk on happiness was when she got that job at the art gallery and you surprised her by taking her to a romantic dinner cruise around the island. While there, you both mapped out the plan for her to eventually be the senior art curator–a position that eventually went to Agatha Harkness. Wanda had been bold to give herself only two years to work her way to the top, and it wasn’t purely of her own accord. It was being with you that she felt she could dream anything. It was you that removed all her fears and doubts.

If anything happens, let them happen, she thought to herself. As long as she had you, the rest was just confetti.

It didn’t mean that Wanda’s ambition and everything else outside of you were just background noise; it only meant she knew it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she failed.

Wanda ends up just applying a bit of lip gloss on her lips, recalling how often you used to tell that you prefer her more natural look.

Her phone buzzes with a notification. Wanda unlocks it to find a text from Pietro, who she asked to man the cafe until afternoon.

You owe me a free batch of those macadamia cookies for this. - P

I’ll bake all the cookies you want for a discount. - W

Thank you for doing this. - W

Agatha agreed to help in the morning. - P

You text with Agatha??? - W

:p - P

Please don’t flirt in front of my customers. - W

No promises. Enjoy your date with Y/N. - P

Wanda grins from ear-to-ear.

It’s not a date. - W

You wish it was. - P

Wanda chooses not to answer that and slips her phone back in her purse. Then she turns to Sparky who’s been fiercely watching her all this time.

“Ready to go, bud?”

–

“You look nice.”

It’s offhandedly delivered after you take the reins on Sparky, yet the speed at which she blushes from the compliment is almost embarrassing. Like always, she makes it a point to look good for you.

You and Wanda chose to meet at the Conservatory Garden in Central park, taking advantage of the spring weather. Its main path is littered with trees and benches, and an overall perfect spot for people watching. Sparky was the first to spot you, and he started barking the second he picked up your scent and ran towards your direction, dragging Wanda along with his leash. Tears almost fell from her eyes when she watched your touching reunion. You fell to your knees to gather Sparky in your arms, while he made sure to lick every part of your face.

“I missed you too, bud.” Wanda heard you whisper over the back of Sparky’s furry head. Sparky made a whining noise, and you knew he understood.

“I was surprised you’re available on a Wednesday,” you say. You and Wanda are strolling side by side, Sparky in tow, moving in circles around you and occasionally around Wanda too.

“Pietro covered for me.”

“I didn’t know he could bake or make good coffee for that matter.” you say with a light chuckle.

“I baked everything in advance this morning, so all he has to do is take care of the register. Also, he’s caffeine dependent and very particular about his coffee, so he already knows how to make the ones on the menu.”

Though, what Wanda really wants you to know is that she woke up at 3AM just to be able to walk Sparky together.

You raise your eyebrows, half-impressed and half-skeptic. “I’m curious if he’d make them as good as yours. I mean, you make pretty darn good coffee.”

Wanda bites her tongue to maintain her neutral expression. Another compliment. She wonders how many more she can squeeze out of you. The reality is she’s a nervous ball of energy. Worse than College Wanda was nervous when she first realized her feelings for you.

“Thanks, Y/N. It means a lot, coming from you.”

“Aren’t you worried I’m just being biased?” you quip with a devious smirk. Wanda feels a strong urge to wipe it away with her lips. “After all, you did train my tongue to like your cooking.”

“I did not!” Wanda passionately protests, blushing when her mind wanders to what else she trained your tongue to do in the past.

You surprise her by letting loose a laugh; a real one, blissful and unrestrained; playfully challenging her with a, “Then explain why I love overcooked chicken.”

Wanda’s still thinking of a smart comeback, when your ringtone goes off in your pocket.

“Excuse me, I should take this.” you say, handing back the leash to Wanda.

“Hey, stranger,” you happily receive the call, and Wanda curiously watches you from the corner of her eyes.

“This Friday? Yeah. Aside from dinner…? No, I don’t think I have anything else planned.”

Plans this Friday? Wanda muses, trying to figure out if said plans are platonic or not. The thing is, she can’t tell with the tone of your voice alone.

“I’m a Knicks fan, yes,” you confirm something Wanda already knows. “You cheer for Brooklyn? You’ve got to be shitting me.”

You only talk that way to your best friend. Were you talking to Natasha?

“A long time fan, huh? So you’re saying you’ve been rooting for New Jersey all this time,” you laugh. “Nope, you can’t take that back cause I’m recording this call.”

The cheeky way you’re addressing this person is not sitting well with Wanda. Sparky comes up to Wanda and jumps at her, poking her knee with his paw.

“Not now, Sparks.” Wanda hisses at him the way someone would scold a child.

“Count me in. How much does the ticket cost? What? I can’t let you do that… Fine, popcorn’s on me then. Uh, huh. We’ll see about that. Simmons is not who he used to be. Alright, we’ll continue this in the game. Yes, you have me for the whole night, I promise,” you say, your mouth splitting into an amused grin.

Wanda’s head cranes towards you, no longer bothering to pretend she’s not eavesdropping. You catch Wanda’s green orbs and lower your voice as you end the conversation with, “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you. Bye.”

“That was Yelena,” you say after tucking away your phone. “Natasha’s sister. I think Nat’s mentioned her to you.”

“Natasha doesn’t talk to me.” Wanda says, keeping her tone light.

You gawk at her. “That’s insane. Of course, she does. I mean not now, because of, you know, what happened.”

“No, she doesn’t. Whenever the three of us are together, we talk to you.”

You hum in confusion, your mind drifting through countless dinners the three of you shared in the past. You suppose Wanda’s claim had basis; Natasha’s seems more reserved in Wanda’s presence.

“Well, I–maybe you heard about her from me?”

“I just know that Natasha has a sister. I never knew her name, though.”

“Ah,” you say, face warming up and sweat gathering around your upper lip. The heat of the sun is at its peak, making you feel incredibly hot. “I thought I'd mentioned her before.”

“So, Yelena,” Wanda starts, wanting to know more about this person despite the pang of jealousy that has crept into her chest. “What’s her story?”

What’s on Friday? Why does she have you for the whole night?

You stop and sit on one of the benches. Wanda follows and plops next to you, leaving just a few inches of space between your bodies. Sparky immediately stands on his hindlegs, trying to jump into your lap. With care, you scoop him up into your arms and cradle him like a baby.

“She’s Natasha’s sister.” You dumbly repeat, not really knowing where you should start telling your ex-wife about the woman who just asked you out on a date.

“You said that already.” Wanda says; though she manages a smile that’s convincing enough, her tone is clipped and rather distasteful.

“What do you want to know?”.

Wanda looks pensive for a moment, before she says, “How come I’m only hearing about her now?”

“She flew to England right before freshman year and then we lost contact right away.” you say.

“And when did she get back?”

Your eyes flit away from her for a moment. “Two years ago.”

“You’re saying you’ve been friends again for the last two years?”

You refuse to let it bother you that she’s obviously jealous even though she has no right to be.

Sighing, you say, “Why does this feel like an interrogation?”

“I’m just curious.” Wanda shrugs, scratching Sparky in the area near his tail. He seemingly looks like he’s fallen asleep on you, but his tail still wags at Wanda’s attention.

“Were you?” Wanda prods. “Were you in touch with her in the last two years?”

For a while you don’t say anything. The thing is, you could lie. You don’t owe Wanda anything anymore. But with Wanda’s line of questioning, it's like she’s almost trying to assert herself and redefine history; perhaps even make it seem like you weren’t so innocent in all of this after all.

Except you were innocent. You never flirted with the idea of other people. Not even that time you ran into the other great love of your life. So with confidence, you tell Wanda the truth.

“We ran into each other five or six months ago. But we recently just reconnected again.” you say.

Wanda does the math in her head.

Oh.

“You didn’t mention that when we–that was before we–”

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning,” you say coolly, your patience wearing thin. “It happened that day you asked me to retrieve a painting from Agatha.”

It’s Wanda’s turn to be speechless. Though you never talked about what really went on that Tuesday afternoon when you clobbered Vision with a vase, Wanda had an inkling that you had something to do with the missing paintings in his room: the one he was working on for his final project and the one she gave him.

It’s still a sour topic; seeing the way your jaw hardens at the mention of the paintings. Wanda backpedals, reeling in the possessiveness she still feels towards you.

“I see…” she trails off.

Badly, she wants to know more about this Yelena, but she’s afraid that she might push you too hard for answers; answers that you don’t have to provide in the first place. Wanda feels somewhat ashamed of having taken advantage of your kindness (yet, again) to get what she wants.

But where does she draw the line?

Wanda wanted you still. She needed to know if there were other people in your life competing for the same thing. She couldn’t just stand meekly in the corner and watch you fall in love with someone new.

“Sparky looks chunkier. Is he chunkier?” you say all of a sudden, rubbing his belly.

Wanda is more than grateful for the change in topic.

“He is. He gained five pounds last time I checked.” she says, smiling fondly at the scene before her.

“So he’s basically happy without me?” you ask, more relieved than downhearted by the fact.

Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t think so. Maybe he’s just eating his feelings, you know? Like I sometimes would.”

You cast a funny look at Wanda. “That sounds implausible.”

Wanda’s laugh fills the air with its melodic resonance. “Why don’t you find out? Take him from me for the weekend. See if he’ll miss me enough to gain a few more.”

It must be so blatant how she’s trying you get you to see her again so soon after today. Though it doesn’t seem like you noticed.

“This weekend?” You pause to think about your schedule despite having all the time in the world to do absolutely nothing. Aside from cleaning up the apartment and doing laundry as part of your Saturday routine, you’ve been wanting to visit your mother in Montauk.

It definitely wouldn’t be a problem if you take Sparky with you.

“Sure, why not?” you say.

“Great,” Wanda beams at you. “I’ll drop him off at your apartment before I open the shop?” she inquires softly, hoping she could get your address.

“Sounds good. Did I already give you my address?”

Wanda does a little victory dance in her head. “You haven’t.”

You text her the details right away.

“Listen, do you want to have lunch before I go?” you ask, getting up and putting Spark back on his feet. “And thank you for this time with Sparky.”

“No problem.”

You’re still ridiculously polite. Still kind.

Still her Y/N.

“You’re late.” Pietro grumbles as soon as Wanda arrives at the cafe.

He has an overly-complicated coffee order waiting, and two customers waiting for their food orders. Agatha has already left two hours ago.

Wanda shrugs her shoulders, placing the eco bags she’s carrying in both hands on the counter. “I went to the grocery store to buy some supplies.”

Pietro mutely hands Wanda her apron and she quickly starts working the espresso machine.

“How did your date go?”

Wanda doesn’t bother to correct him this time.

“It was okay.”

Pietro doesn’t look convinced at the very least. “That’s it?”

“We walked Sparky and had lunch.” comes Wanda’s nonchalant reply.

“Ah, lunch,” Pietro flashes a leering smile at his clearly smitten sister. “Were you the one to ask her?”

Wanda grins with a dazed look. “Nope.”

“Congrats, sis. You’re on your way to getting back with your ex-wife. Which, if I may add, was your plan all along even when you agreed to a divorce in the first place.”

On any other day, Pietro’s sarcastic humor would normally push her buttons in a snap, but right now Wanda couldn’t care less if she tries. The memory of her time with you and the scent of your perfume is still fresh. There’s nothing that could ruin her perfect day.

The door chime sings to signify the arrival of a customer. Wanda quickly draws a simple latte art on a coffee order, and then proceeds to serve it to the customer by the window. Her eyes briefly brushes the customer who just came in, and is taken aback when she finds the woman staring at her expectantly.

Wanda carefully places the mug on the table for her other customer, before very quickly fixing her hair to greet the new arrival.

“Hi, welcome to Second Chances. Dine-in or take-out?”

“I’m here to get Pietro.” The woman says with a bored expression.

Wanda grits her teeth. Her brother really knows how to choose them. “And you are?”

“Shannon,” she drawls. “His fiancé.”

“His what? I mean, that’s–” Wanda is stunned beyond belief, and looks over at Pietro who’s pointedly trying to avoid her gaze. “–amazing news. Congratulations.”

“He proposed months ago.” Shannon deadpans, like she’s used to Pietro’s people not knowing he has a fiancé or a girlfriend for that matter.

“He didn’t tell me.” Wanda says.

Shannon doesn’t acknowledge that information. Instead, she says, “Nice little cafe you have here.”

“Thanks.”

“Though the Spanish Latte needs more sugar. I had it earlier this morning.”

Wanda has to ball her fist to refrain from using them on this woman.

“Actually, we have a suggestion box.” Wanda says, gesturing to the aforementioned box by the counter, designed to look like a mini treasure chest. “If you could write it down, we’ll get to it as soon as we can.”

Shannon forces a smile that’s undeniably fake, possibly for lack of trying.

Pietro approaches them slowly, his rounded eyes reminding Wanda of a wounded puppy.

“Hey, babe,” Pietro mumbles and pecks Shannon on the lips. “I’m ready to go. Let me just change, okay?”

“Five minutes.” Shannon prompts in a stern voice.

At this point, Wanda would rather see Pietro flirting with Agatha than have to watch him be pushed around by this woman with his tail between his legs. A barrage of questions run through her mind, starting with why her brother is marrying this bitch.

“You’re wondering why he’s marrying someone like me.” Shannon says wryly.

“You read minds?” Wanda tries to joke.

Shannon isn’t having it. “It’s a mystery. I, myself, am wondering why I’m still hell-bent on marrying him.”

Wanda tilts her head at her with a quizzical look.

“Oh, you don’t know.” Shannon’s laugh is devoid of humor of any kind.

“Know what?”

“I caught your brother in bed with different women… more times than I can count with one hand.” Shannon explains so casually like she could have just been talking about the weather.

“And I still won’t quit him.” she adds as an afterthought.

“If you’re telling me this because you think I can talk some sense into him–”

“I don’t expect you to do that.”

“Then why are you telling me this?” Wanda asks, no longer holding back her ire.

“Pietro told me what happened with you and your ex.”

“He had no business telling you that.” Wanda says through bared teeth.

Shannon looks unnerved by the evident irritation of her future sister-in-law, and says, “He’s your brother and we do run out of things to talk about.”

“Is there a point to this conversation?”

Shannon drops her gaze to the floor in thought, before they flit up back to Wanda’s eyes which have narrowed into slits.

“Pietro cares about you. The reason he refuses to go back to LA is because he’s worried about you. I just want to give you something to think about that might help all of us.”

Wanda says nothing and merely waits with her hands on her hips. She already doesn’t trust whatever piece of advice she’s going to hear from this stranger.

“Love is forgiveness. If your ex couldn’t forgive you for straying once, then you’re better off with someone else who will accept you for your mistakes. Because believe me, you’ll never run out of them.”

Wanda’s anger slowly ebbs away until all that’s left is bafflement at the insinuation that you’re not good enough for her.

That you’re not worth it. That she’s stupid to chase a love that should overcome anything including infidelity.

“And you’re that person for my brother?” Wanda says, smiling in contempt.

Shannon lifts her chin. No, she wouldn’t go as far as verbally claim it, but the Alpha behavior more than proves that she thinks so highly of her capability to love. Wanda feels an overwhelming urge to throw this woman out. Instead, she turns her back on Shannon to stalk towards the staff room where Pietro is changing.

“I don’t like her.” Wanda states as soon as the door swings open, expecting a half-naked Pietro.

He’s cross-legged on the floor, watching YouTube videos on his phone.

“Which is why you’ve never met her. And before you say anything, I did try very hard to keep it that way. It’s not my fault that you came back so late.”

“What do you see in her, Piet? You haven’t eloped, right? You can still get out of this.”

Pietro shrugs his broad shoulders; shoulders that would have taken him to superstardom, if not for the series of injuries that plagued his short career.

“Look at me,” Pietro says in a languid manner. “I’m a fuck up, Wands. I’ll always be a fuck up. It’s in my nature. And she loves me anyway. Maybe I just want someone who will always have my back no matter what.”

“That’s not love. That’s codependency, you idiot.”

“No offense, sis. But it’s not like you have the moral high ground to lecture me about relationships.”

Wanda’s lips press together into a hard line at the proverbial mirror in front of her. They were both fuck ups. The only difference is one of them has already embraced it with open arms.

After a beat, Wanda asks, “Are you, at least, happy?”

Pietro considers it for a moment, before saying, “She’s not so bad once you get to know her.”

The Knicks versus Nets game is starting in thirty minutes, and the thick crowd is scrambling to get their pre-game ritual done; long lines in the restroom, the merchandise stores and the snack bars, fans taking group photos in-front of giant cutouts of NBA players. You stand in the middle of it all, a giant bag of popcorn in each of your arms, when Yelena shows up alone at the assigned gate for your seats.

Her blonde hair is up in a tight bun, with just a few stray strands falling in front of her eyes. She’s wearing considerably less makeup than she wore in the club, which you think makes her even more beautiful.

Not that your preference has anything to do with how Yelena presents herself, and you certainly wouldn’t let her know that.

“Where are your friends?” you ask, eyes darting everywhere behind her..

“They canceled at the last minute. Kate got called on an assignment.” Yelena says with a huff.

“What a waste.”

“Kate sponsored the tickets and she doesn’t mind. It’s just her change.”

“Kate, huh?” you teasingly look at Yelena.

“Really, Y/N?” Yelena mutters, feigning offense. “You’re breaking my heart, you know? I said I like you. Don’t pawn me off to someone else.”

Your cheeks warm at her directness.

“Shit, sorry. You’re right. I was being a jerk.”

“You were.”

You offer her one of your priced popcorn. “Will this make it better?” you ask, lower lip jutting out into what you hope is an adorable pout.

Yelena takes your peace offering and then candidly says, “Fine. But stop being so cute or you’re going to regret it.”

You flush even further and feel a jolt deep in the pit of your stomach.

Somehow, the game is the last thing on your mind right now.

The Knicks are down ten at the half, and Yelena’s trash talk isn’t letting up anytime soon. You’re on your third bottle of beer, and the intimacy of how Yelena is half-leaning on your side, her weight solid against your own body, is keeping you tethered more than anything.

You positively look like a couple, despite the fact that neither of you has acknowledged that this has turned into a date.

“Wanna bet on how many bricks your team will make in the second half?” Yelena goads with a self-satisfied smirk.

“They’ll find their shooting, you’ll see.” you say with a toothy grin, unfazed. Truthfully, the games’ outcome is the farthest of your concerns now that Yelena’s fingers are inching towards your lap as she shares an anecdote about her workmates. She tells the story rather animatedly, and you can’t help but be mesmerized by the girl you practically grew up with.

Towards the end of Yelena’s story, the crowd around you goes wild. You look up to see the kiss cam land on you and Yelena.

You both shake your head in refusal, gazing up at yourselves on the huge monitor in the middle of the arena. People start booing at the two of you, and as a consolation, you put your arm around Yelena’s shoulders and kiss her on the forehead. It’s enough to pacify the crowd and the kiss cam moves on to another couple who gamely makes out in front of everyone.

When the moment passes, you suddenly realize what you’ve just done. The line has been dangerously toed, and you sheepishly retract your arm the same time Yelena straightens her posture.

“I’m s–”

“Don’t,” Yelena stops you before you could utter an apology. “I wanted to kiss you, but I was worried about overstepping any boundaries.”

“Nat won’t be happy about this.” you murmur, still keeping a respectable distance.

“For once, don’t think about what other people want. Think about what you want.”

The remaining two quarters is not enough to think just that.

You see Yelena off to her apartment after the game. Sharing a ride is cheaper, since your own apartment is less than thirty minutes away by foot.

“...and that’s how Kate and I met,” Yelena concludes after a minute-long summary of how she ended up crashing with her current bestfriend. “Why do I feel like I’ve been talking too much about myself for the last hour?”

“There’s more than a decade of stuff for us to catch up on,” you say, feeling a bit regretful about the time that has passed of not being in each other’s life. “There’s a lot I don’t know about this new you.”

“What “new” me? It doesn’t feel like I’ve changed too much.”

“You have,” you say. “But you’re different in a good way. I like both Yelenas.”

Yelena ducks her head. “You’ve changed as well. But judging from how much fun we had in each other’s company, I say the important bits of us remained the same.” she says.

Your eyes sweep over her. She’s right. She’s just Yelena, Natasha’s younger sister and your first love. Beneath the changes that had accumulated over the years, your soul still recognizes her soul.

“I had a really great time.” you say before you both turn the corner to her place.

Through the remainder of the distance to her apartment, your pace slows down to a crawl. It’s a familiar ritual: the walk to her doorstep, fishing out for keys, playing for a while with those keys, an exchange of awkward smiles, and then–

The pinnacle of a first date, where the magic happens.

Yelena shuffles her feet, fiddling with her keychain. “This is a date, right?”

You swallow dryly. “Yelena–”

“If you mention my sister’s name again, I might have to strangle you.”

“It’s not just Nat,” Out of habit, you thoughtlessly reach for your left ring finger to play with the wedding band that is no longer there. The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Yelena.

“Is it Wanda?” Yelena crosses her arms in a slightly defensive stance. “Are you still in love with her?”

The question has been plaguing you long before Yelena drew it out in the open.

Shaking your head, you lean in and kiss her.

The next morning, Wanda’s at your door at exactly six. She texted you thirty minutes ago to inform you that she’s on her way but received no reply. Now she’s worried that she might wake some of your neighbors with her forceful knocks. If not, then Sparky’s yelps certainly would.

It takes a few more seconds before she hears your familiar footsteps on the other side of the door. The door swings open and Wanda’s heart skips a beat at the sight of you; in your pajamas; hair messy from sleep; fabric marks on the left side of your face, indicating that you still sleep on your side in the direction of where Wanda used to be when she slept next to you.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Wanda can’t help how quickly her smile reaches her eyes.

“Wanda? What are you doing here?” you mumble, rubbing the remnants of sleep from your eyes.

Wanda frowns. Did you forget?

Sparky takes it upon himself to remind you with a small whine as he lifts his paw to scratch at your leg.

You look down to find him with his tail a blur, wagging from side to side, and it automatically puts a lazy smile on your lips. “Hey, buddy!”

“You agreed to take him for the weekend.” Wanda says slowly, gauging your reaction. “But if the plan has changed, then–”

Your eyes widen when, at last, the realization sinks in. “No. Sorry. I just lost track of time. I didn’t know it’s Saturday already. I still want to take him.” you say, flushing in embarrassment.

“Great,” Wanda breathes out, and then motioning inside your apartment, says, “Can I, uhm, use the toilet before I–”

“Of course!” you exclaim, opening the door wider to let her in. “Sorry, I’m still out of sorts.”

“Rough night?”

“Hmm,” You hum pleasantly. “Something like that. The bathroom’s that way.”

Wanda doesn’t miss your little indulgement in reminiscing last night’s affairs. Definitely not ‘something like that’. She heads to the bathroom with Sparky following behind her. He curls on the floor as he waits for Wanda to finish her business.

“Do you want some coffee? Or maybe not coffee. I have…” you yell out, searching the fridge. “Beer and soda.”

“Water is fine.” Wanda says as she approaches the kitchen.

She picks a chair that’s nearest to the counter where you’re busy making coffee and pouring Wanda a glass of water.

Wanda surveys your new home. The lack of decor and the monochromatic paint job screams Natasha; the best friend who’s attached to your hip, but is obviously not present at the moment.

“Where’s Natasha?” you hear Wanda ask.

You think whether or not you should disclose the news about Natasha. You figure it’s not necessary anymore for Wanda to keep tabs on your friends. “She’s visiting a family member upstate.”

“Oh, I didn’t know she had family,” Wanda states, feeling a little silly. Natasha’s an important person in your life, and this is the kind of information she’s supposed to know already.

“It’s good she’s spending time with them.” she adds.

“Yeah.” you mumble, feeling remorseful about the little lie. “Made me think of mom. I’m actually heading to Montauk later. I’m taking Sparky there if that’s okay with you?”

Wanda gives an enthusiastic nod. “Just don’t forget to pack some water on the trip.”

“And some healthy treats too, I know. I’ve got it, Sparky’s Mom.” you say with a quiet chuckle as you bring over a tray of water and two large mugs of black coffee.

Wanda rolls her eyes at the nickname, secretly elated.

“It’s like we’re co-parenting him.” she blurts out without thinking.

By the look on your face, the idea of it hits you in a different way.

“Is…that what we’re doing here?” you say, only half-teasing.

“I’m not insinuating anything. It’s just somewhat comparable if you think about it.”

You’re quiet for a moment, and it drives Wanda on the edge.

“I know I’m the one who wanted kids, but I’m glad we didn’t have them when it happened.” you say, and it surprises Wanda beyond anything–the trivial way in which you said it.

“I don’t know, Y/N, ” Wanda whispers. “Maybe if we had kids, things would’ve been different.”

Your eyes are unreadable as you ask, “Different how?”

Wanda couldn’t think of anything to say except what’s really on her mind.

“Maybe we could’ve avoided separating altogether.”

“Because you think having kids would have made me stay married to you?” you say, in a tone of voice that makes Wanda’s knees buckle and her heart squeeze in regret of her words.

“Because maybe it would have stopped me,” Wanda says in a rush. It’s the wrong thing to say, but it might even be more wrong if she chooses to lie about it. “Maybe it would have given me a different purpose. Would have made me into someone who isn’t selfish and didn’t lose sight of what truly mattered–”

“You’re saying that our childlessness is what motivated you to cheat on me.” you say, and Wanda watches you flex your fingers; shaking away some numbness.

“That’s not–” Wanda grapples for words.

There’s none.

“I didn’t think this through.” you whisper to yourself, eerily calm and collected.

“What do you mean?” Wanda asks frantically.

In the absence of words, you merely look at her with a pained expression.

“Y/n?” Wanda gapes at you and her soulful green eyes widen in panic. “Wait, please, I’m sorry. If we can just–”

“I’ll drop Sparky at your apartment on Monday.”

Wanda pauses momentarily at the door; but you’re already walking back to your room, indifferent to what she chooses to do.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #ifiss 2 #ilgoss #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova #unbetad #my writing #my fic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen

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hozierandco · 1 year ago

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Callum Turner x Reader - The match-maker (Pt. 1)

AN: A few months ago (oopsie), someone requested that I write about Y/N meeting Callum Turner through Austin Butler, a common friend. TW: none except maybe drama regarding past relationships. No smut.

I've changed the set from L.A that was originally requested to New York but it's only to squeeze in gowns and a red (pinkish?) carpet. Part 2 will be up very soon.

If you have any requests, do send a message, I love receiving them. I take requests on Hozier, Callum Turner and Robert Pattinson mostly but feel free to contact me for whoever :)

_________________________________________________

Y/N could count on Austin to get her through ups and downs. Ever since they had met in primary school back in Anaheim, they had grown a strong relationship. They had been through so much together and considered each other to be like brother and sister. When Y/N was not at Austin’s, then it was Austin being at Y/N’s house.

If at some point, they had thought of getting together as they knew each other so well and had grown out to be beautiful young people besides being beautiful souls, they had abandoned the idea as they cherished their friendship too much for any of the drama. That being said, they LOVED talking about their more or less chaotic experiences when it came to the subject of relationships. Austin had far more luck on that one than her as, after being with Vanessa Hudgens for so long, he had found his significant other responding by the name of Kaia Gerber.

Kaia was great to her best friend and Y/N sensed that she was ready to commit to such a relationship as she noticed the two blooming. For years, Y/N had nourished disastrous relationships with men, between those who cheated on her, those who needed a nurse rather than a lover and those who just ghosted her. Austin had always been there to support her through break ups and was ready for her to meet someone new that she could trust. It pained him to see her feeling less and less self-confident because of the attitude of some jerks.

*** On the set of Masters of the Airs. Newland Park, February, the 14th of 2022 ***

Austin had begun working on an upcoming TV show in which he was fulfilling one of his boyhood’s dreams of becoming a pilot. It was one of many perks of becoming an actor and he had the chance to fulfill that dream with his colleagues that he had learnt to call his friends. Among them, he mostly loved working with Callum Turner.

He had seen him in productions such as War and Peace and Emma but never had the opportunity to work with him, nor to meet him. Since the beginning of the show’s filming, the two of them had become good friends, sharing most of their time on and off set together.

They found themselves to have many shared interests but what Austin liked the most about his colleague and friend was his integrity. He had not met a humble actor like him in a while and it was a fresh view for him who had gotten used to obnoxious people in the industry.

Austin did not think of Callum to be a great match for Y/N from the beginning, nor in fact did he think of taking the role of a match-maker at all. But it struck him on a strange day, in February of 2022. Well, to put some context there, it was Valentine’s Day and Austin hated not having the opportunity to spend it with Kaia. He grunted all day about this missed chance to which Callum, always so light-hearted, made him aware that he could be happy to have a Valentine to wish it to.

Callum was not the sort of man to talk about his personal life to anyone but he had known Austin for the past seven months. He felt as though he was ready to share more information about him, such as his traumatic past when it came to dating. And of course, that resonated with what Austin was hearing from Y/N.

By 2 pm London time (6 am L.A time), Austin was trying to comfort Callum about the fact he had no Valentine to celebrate while by 9 pm London time (1 pm L.A time), Austin was receiving a text from Y/N complaining about not having a boyfriend to go on a date with. It did not take much thinking for Austin to come up with a plan.

In the next few weeks, he tried to convey some hints towards Callum, letting him know that his best friend was the greatest person he had ever met while simultaneously texting Y/N about how excited he was to be playing with no less than Callum Turner.

Mind you, Y/N had already heard of that name somewhere. It rang a bell but she did not know much about his filmography and quite frankly, did not bother looking any further than that. She was just happy that her best friend could play with someone that he apparently was fanboying over.

And Callum… What is there to say? He was completely oblivious about those hints that Austin made more and more obvious. It was as though he did not think to be worthy of her if she was as great as Austin described her to be.

Austin was convinced that the two should give it a go as Callum expressed interests for things Y/N was crazy about or that time when he mentioned that he had a dog that was looking just like Y/N’s childhood dog. And yeah, lots of people have a dog growing up and like music and photography but Austin was a sucker for a good love story. Screw that, he would be a match-maker, he decided as the Met Gala was near. He had to do something about it.

*** Met Gala. New York, May, the 2nd of 2022 ***

Finally, Austin had gotten back from the set of Masters of the Airs for a stay in New York. He was determined to enjoy his night at the Met Gala along with his girlfriend and had insisted that Callum join him, letting him know that it would do him good to go on a trip and forget about yet another date gone wrong.

It did not take much convincing as Callum was tired of staying in England for so long and had not seen New York in years because of Covid. Though he was not invited to the Met Gala, he was more than happy to attend it vicariously through his friend and his friend’s girlfriend.

It was somewhat more difficult to convince Y/N to come to New York as she was a girl from the West who only came to the East in case of an emergency. The Met Gala surely was no emergency from her but Austin could not let go of his plan that easily.

If there was something Y/N cared truly about, it was Austin of course but also her career as a photographer. And though she personally had no intention of following the Met Gala, Austin had made calls here and there to squeeze a spot as one of the official photographers of the event.

Y/N had repeatedly asked Austin not to go full-on nepotism with her as she saw him getting famous. She wanted her career to be defined only by her work and not by the people she counted as friends so when Austin told her the opportunity he had ahead of her, she first scolded him for that but it also was clear that she had no job offer as huge as this one.

She made him promise that it would be last time he interceded in her career while thanking him for the occasion. She packed her suitcase and left to the airport.

#callum turner x reader #callum turner #fluff #fanfic #met gala 2022 #austin butler as side character

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icanseethefuture333 · 1 year ago

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Random ass question, but what do you think is the best way for a 4/10 girl to become at least a 7 out of 10? I’m aware that “beauty is subjective” but I’m literally below average, 4/10 is being lenient for me lol

How to have confidence in your physical appearance 🎀

First of all sweetie,

let's not rate ourselves on a scale about how pretty we are! It's really degrading and I feel like you deserve so much better than that. Living in a generation where filters are oversaturated, people using AI to edit their photos, and incels with porn addictions and have never felt the touch of a woman, will call the most beautiful girl "mid". It's so understandable why one's self esteem can feel low at times. You need to change the way you talk about yourself (especially me). Beauty always start from within - as redundant as that sounds. You can't feel pretty if you're not focusing on the reason why you feel this way. A pretty soul (and self concept!) makes a prettier face. Moving on, let's get into the actual tips of a glow up 💖

Let's address the elephant in the room 🐘: you're not ugly, just acting pitiful

Have you ever wondered why you have seen those people who are considered "unattractive" or "unconventionallly pretty" by others be in successful relationships or popular with their peers? It's because they have confidence. Have you ever been attracted to someone that may not necessarily fit the beauty standards or be considered a jaw dropping model, but you thought they were cute anyways because of their personality or charm? That's exactly what I mean. You can be a pretty face or have a nice body, but have terrible self esteem. Living in California my whole life I come across this everyday. There is plenty of beautiful people here, but there is also a lot of people with no sense of humor and no offense, but have no personalities. In other words, you can be attractive, but superficial and boring.

To feel beautiful or more like a "10" even on your worst day is mainly having a good self concept. You need to think with the mindset of "I am the baddest bitch even on my worse days and nobody can make me feel different about that, not even me." Our concept can be changed, reshaped, rebuilt, morphed, etc, into any way we want it to be. Our self concept and dominant thoughts are created by our previous past experiences and what people have told us what we are. For example, if you were bullied in your youth and somebody picked on you for your features. Why would you give a fuck about what a bully thinks??? A person who humiliated and traumatized someone at a weak point in their life does not matter. Their opinion, their actions, their thoughts - doesn't matter. You can change yourself anytime you want, we are animals, we are literally mean to be apart of this cycle called life and our habits, attitudes, opinions, etc, can change at any moment. We are meant to grow and adapt. You get to decide who you are, what you feel, and how you wish people to perceive you. Nobody else. So when you repeatedly say things to people like "I'm not beautiful", they're gonna get tired of it honestly and be like "Yk what damn bitch I guess you are ugly!" because it gets tiring to hear someone complain about the same thing even when they just reassured them (again, I'm guilty of this too). So when you depend on someone to make you feel good about yourself, that's just codependency. You are also giving them the power to manipulate you. Don't do that. Be free and be independent, love yourself. It's your self esteem and you cannot be dependent on anybody else to fill that void you have within yourself.

As Katt Williams said, "It's the esteem of your motherfucking self!"

Why it's not your fault you don't 'feel" pretty

Like I said above, you are most likely a product of your surroundings. Most people are not raised by their parents to have good self esteem or to teach them how to be confident or emotionally secure. There are many environmental factors to insecurity and that it is okay if you are never 100% feeling confident about yourself. People in the media construct this ego to seem "cool" and act conceited as a way to avoid being seen as weak to society. You can be confident and also have insecurities. Confidence is just about being secure with the essence of who you are and setting boundaries when necessary with other people when it comes to that. A confident person doesn't tolerate disrespect.

"Conceited" or confident?: how to avoid confusing the two

I think the most irritating thing to me that is normalized these days is narcissism and conceited people. People will literally act boastful and cocky then say "I'm just confident". Behaving like a narcissist or saying that you are one is not cute and never will be because it's literally a personality disorder, a mental health condition. Everytime I hear this it makes me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head. Try to avoid being this person with a "God complex" because there's a difference between a person who is being loud and fake with "confidence". A real confident person makes moves in silence and is genuine with themselves. If you have to brag or put another person down to feel like hot shit, then you're not a confident person, period.

Tips to enhance your beauty

As I said before anon you are already a 10 in my eyes, but I understand how it feels to not feel pretty at times and we all have our days when we are looking "rough". Here are some self care tips I do that helps me feel pretty and pampered physically ✨️

Get some beauty sleep! This is not just a saying. When your body has time to rest it gives you time to reset & have more energy for the next day. Getting plenty of sleep helps prevent dark circles & puffy eyes as well. If you struggle with falling asleep spray lavender pillow spray, drink tea, or play asmr/soothing sounds.

Skincare & hygiene, this is such a crucial step that everyone should practice in their daily lives. All of us have different skin textures and when we neglect our skin it causes a dry, oily, or bumpy surfaces. Now skin texture is totally normal but if you notice the days where you are not washing your face frequently enough, your skin either looks dull, dirty, or you experience more pimples / acne breakouts. Not to mention how dirty we feel when our body is projecting a certain odor. You don't need to have an extravagant routine, but at least try to have about 4 hygienic products (soap, deodorant, lotion, & body spray/prrfume) and 4 skincare products (facial cleanser (I recommend double cleansing!), serum, SPF/Sunscreen, & face lotion).

Mirror work, saying affirmations in the mirror has proven to be helpful for people's self esteem & feeling more confident with their physical appearance.

Change your wardrobe! Start dressing for your body type & how your ideal self would. It might feel uncomfortable at first but you will feel so much more beautiful! You could try finding videos on tiktok of people with your body type to help (for example, if you are plus sized, you could search your desired aesthetic & find people with the same shape as you).

Detox from social media 📱, learn when it is time to take a break from your phone & engage with the real world. Scrolling for hours on your phone can be really harmful especially if you're reading negative comments or watching videos that are self depreciating.

Follow people who uplift you, not tear you down. If you are following people who obviously are negative or affect your self esteem somehow, then you do not need to be supporting them.

Make appointments! Whether that is a doctor appointment or lash, nail, or hair appointments. Take care of your mind, health, and body. You could ask your doctor what vitamins you should take or also seek a counselor/therapist to find the root of your insecurities in a safe place. Also sometimes just getting my hair or nails done makes me feel more confident!

Learn to treat yourself. Buy yourself flowers or a gift you always wanted but never received. This could be anything, it doesn't necessarily mean to spend money. For example, cooking your favorite food, having a lazy day, etc. Remember that you deserve to be happy!

Lastly, beauty spells, glamour magick, and manifestation are popular methods for people who wish to enhance their physical appearance. I do all of these myself and I always feel so hot afterwards!

I hope you found these tips helpful beautiful ♡!

#beauty tips #self love #personal growth #glow up #manifestation #self concept #physical appearance #desired appearance #pretty girl energy #glamour magick #beauty spell #law of assumption #shadow work

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beegalactica · 6 months ago

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HOT GIRLS ARE CONSCIOUS.

I haven't been on Tumblr in about 3 months (life has been busy), and when I finally decided to check back in today, I kept seeing the same thing over and over again, so I am here to dispel some myths.

If you have seen any of my posts, you will know the issues I have with traditional TikTok-y trendy 'glow-up' advice, but today I realised how much of it is just a ploy to get us to spend tons of money on things we CAN live without. I think we all need to be more CONSCIOUS: conscious of what we can realistically afford and implement into our daily lives.

For example, in a typical 'glow-up' advice post, tiktok or youtube video, they recommend these super unrealistic routines that include a full skincare routine of every type of cream you could ever imagine, and an incredibly detailed list that lays out how you need to spend every 10 minutes of your day in order to achieve this perfect form.

It's all hear-say.

Don't get roped into thinking that you need those brand new clothes, or you need those skincare items to be your best self. The idea of turning your 'glow-up' into a sustainable part of your life is to do things you can manage to do over and over again. The secret to glowing up permanently is having a routine that keeps you happy and healthy. Instead of buying a full shelf of skincare all in one go, get 1 or 2 items with positive reviews to start. You don't need to throw out your whole wardrobe and sell your soul to TEMU just to look aesthetic; use what you have. Rather than making short term impulsive purchases, treat every part of your life as an investment.

Especially when it comes to clothing, being someone who has lost weight and no longer fits into all their old clothes, instead of throwing everything out and starting from scratch, I bought a little amazon sewing kit with a couple of needles and different types of thread and started cutting and sewing my way to a better wardrobe. (Even TODAY, I turned an old pair of jeans that I never wear into a cute miniskirt all from a 5 minute YouTube tutorial.) If sewing isn't your thing, you can try using some hemming tape and an iron, fabric glue, or whatever you can. Be conscious of the things you buy and how often you buy them.

I know lots of people like thrifting, and you can thrift online with apps like Vinted, which I personally use and love, if you don't have access to massive thrift stores like they do in America (I'm totally not jealous at all 🙄🙄; I live in the UK and the closest things I have near me are charity shops but there's a sort of stigma around shopping in them but honestly who cares what others think).

When you shop for clothes, look for timeless and versatile pieces you can mix and match, layer and style with lots of different things, allowing you to wear them well. Try to find good staple pieces, that will make the basis of your wardrobe. Be an outfit repeater. Do not blindly follow trends; take the time to curate and explore to find your style. Make a massive Pinterest board of everything you think looks good, and start to make a list of common items of clothing and accessories you save the most; these will be your staples. Don't feel like you have to stick strictly to one aesthetic; my wardrobe ranges from 'fairycore' maxi skirts to y2k denim skirts, but what matters is that I am mindful of whether I will use the things I want to buy.

Of course, feel free to treat yourself, you 100% deserve it, but don't get sucked into the idea that your self worth is determined but WHAT you have; instead it should be how you FEEL in what you have.

I like to see my blog as a little notebook of things I wish I could have told my younger self, and things I want to remind my future self, and I feel like it would be a disservice to not talk about the oversaturation of our feeds with infinite products, to the point where everything feels like an AD.

Moral of the story: don't just take everything you see online at face value. Don't get trapped in extensive consumerism; it's bad for your bank account, it's bad for the environment and it's bad for your mental health.

Also here's my Pinterest if you want to have a peek around <3 Pinterest

#lifeblr #self improvement #becoming that girl #girlblogger #girlblogging #it girl #self care #that girl #consumerism #thrifting #sustainability #sewing #think before you buy #there's enough to go around for everyone

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fountainpenguin · 3 months ago

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Riddle watches New Wish - Post #26

The Battle of Big Wand... Spoiler-free and jumpin' in!

Season finale! I'm excited for this one!

I'm gonna give my very first prediction before moving on from the title screen: Dale is going to learn about Fairy World because he finds the notes Cosmo and Wanda left on his stuff during Dev's birthday.

I'd prefer he learn about Fairy World from Crocker because I thought leaving your enemy notes that outs you as a fairy and tells him all your secrets including the Big Wand as a power source is... out of character and cheap.

Me now realizing I've been acting under the assumption Dev scribbled the notes out very badly and Dale will find them, but I guess it's possible Dev could've erased them thoroughly and they were only there for audience benefit. That's... certainly one of the ways to info-dump ever.

For all I know, Dale might not even be in this episode, though I assume the notes were there for a reason. Also, Dale has definitely been set up as keeping tabs on Hazel and we're probably going to hit a major point of Dev's daddy issues arc.

Tentative prediction... Dev is put in a situation where he can only save either his dad or Hazel (maybe not save them, but assist them or betray the other) and he's going to return to being Hazel's friend at the expense of his relationship with his dad. Let's find out!

Here we go!!

Holy flippin' what on EARTH, Hazel has made more wishes in 1 season with a regular timestream than Timmy did in 8 seasons after freezing it for 50 years.

GIRL, ARE YOU OKAY??

Me when those numbers were counting up: Wanda stop Wanda stop Wanda stop- HAZEL?!?

What the fffliiiip...

Is she going to Wishing Well?? I feel like she might need to. I have to assume that's not the direction we're going, but... ???

Wishing Well's whole thing is that godkids get sent there if they become too reliant on wishing, so they can practice doing things for themselves. I don't think Hazel's too reliant, but I'm really caught off guard. That's a heckuva thing to drop on us with no foreshadowing whatsoever. Not long ago, she hit her 100th wish, right?

That said... I'm willing to let this slide. In "Lost and Founder's Day," Hazel happily wished for good things to come to other kids. 4.5 months later ("Operation: Birthday Takeback"), Cosmo and Wanda confirm Hazel "can" wish for other kids, and I assume she probably has been.

I would've liked to see that onscreen if that's true, though. It's not really been a thing.

- I think I understand why Dale's obsessed with Hazel losing him money by granting people happiness for the price of free now. -> Dale, you should've told me! I would've been shocked and concerned right there with you. She's robbing you blind! This whole city is robbing you blind! -> Unpopular opinion, but if Hazel has secretly made 1 million wishes by somehow not making people lose money when they buy Dimmadome products... first of all, that would be hilarious, and secondly, I think Dale would be justified in saying "hey. wtf." - No, no… please continue. I think we should definitely mess with the guy who has trauma about having no control over his life and lived 7 years being unable to get himself out of it. We should totally destroy his ability to make progress after engaging in hard work and consistent action. I wanna see where they're going with this. - what if Dale isn't the antagonist and the real antagonist is Fairy World stressed that Hazel's draining the Big Wand's power?

[cnt'd - 6,600 words below the cut, so buckle up...]

I guess a few episodes ago, Father Time also said she ruptured the space-time continuum, but...

Oh, I'm so nervous. Girl, if you're at 1 mill, all your wishes are up for review now. Timmy sends his blessings.

Please say that's where this is going. They're not gonna reference "Timmy's Secret Wish" multiple times this season and then NOT follow that episode's canon for "standard procedure at 1 million wishes," right?

I'm stunned and wary, but let's see where we're going with this.

??? Okay, but... I'm pretty sure the only time Hazel truly wished for other people's benefit without including herself in an "unlimited pudding for everyone because Dev is hoarding it all and me and my friends want some" way was during "Lost and Founder's Day." She made wishes for random folks she walked past to have a more enjoyable time when she saw Dale's O-pairs trying to upsell them. It really ticked Dale off, and if he's been stalking her for 5 months...

... then I HAVE to assume that when she's not onscreen, Hazel's still wishing for other people in a way that either cuts into Dimmadome profits directly or stops Dale from upselling in a way that upsets him. Even the O-pairs were having mental breakdowns and beating themselves up about their failures, which just says a million things about the guy who programmed them... presumably Dale.

If she's made 1 million wishes when Timmy required 52 years to hit that number AND Dale became obsessed with stalking her and trying to figure out what she was doing, she's almost certainly wishing for the people around her- It's not like we've seen her with a closet of toys or having a montage of travel adventures. I don't think she's even left Dimmadelphia except to go to Fairy World.

She's 100% wishing up Dimmadome products in bulk without them paying for it. Or at the very least, she's doing something that is wrecking the Dimmadome business, and Dale is really confused and annoyed about it.

I went back to "Operation: Birthday Takeback" and Wanda outright says Hazel is wishing for other people and that led them to stop buying things. So... not necessarily wishing up Dimmadome products, but definitely distracting people from wanting to purchase Dimmadome stuff.

^ Dale tracking his profits, 100% aware this massive crash correlates with Hazel messing around. He's very confused. I don't support grown men stalking little girls, but I respect how hard he's working to keep his business thriving. Look at his notes!! He's working so hard!

Like ?? As far as we know, Dale doesn't know she has fairies and he's not chasing after magic (unless that's what this finale is about). What on EARTH is she doing with 1 million wishes that's getting him this hyperfixated??

It's not like Hazel and the other kids can afford the expensive tech products I'm certain Dale sells, seeing as he's a tech mogul with talking drones that have arms, and seeing as back during "Stanky Danky," he was advertising products kids aren't really interested in (He bragged Dimmadome Global sells "rugs, plugs, and coffee mugs" plus doormats). She's gotta be wishing for adults too.

Am I reading this right? I don't think she's doing anything wrong - she's 10 and is allowed to wish for stuff and there are no rules against wishing for other people - but she's absolutely wrecking the Dimmadomes.

1 million wishes........ hoooo boy.

- I just !! wish we were seeing this onscreen?? Even though Wanda claims in the birthday episode that Hazel's been wishing for other people, I've not gotten that impression outside the 3 wishes we saw her make in "Lost and Founder's Day" (new ice cream after dropping one, faster-moving line, bouncier bounce house)... Things that shouldn't be costing Dale money. -> Maybe he's just annoyed he can't upsell, but ?? none of the kids expressed interest when his O-pairs tried to upsell them. One of them looked bored out of their mind. - I personally would've liked glimpses of Dale working on this stuff since we used to get peeks into Crocker's life regularly, especially since I assume he's the big antagonist for this episode and has run off to Fairy World to take over... I would've liked to be there when he discovers the notes on his board. Maybe we'll get a flashback about it? - I feel like I missed a bunch of context and I'm having to do a very deep read that I would not be doing if I weren't intentionally pausing and theorizing. -> I'd really have benefitted from a Dale-centric episode akin to "Transparents" from the OG series' Season 1: similar vibes to Crocker having a suspicion, showing us how people make fun of him to his face, and taking steps to prove his theories (i.e. Crocker shocked that Timmy brought a dinosaur to show and tell). -> So... something like Dale wanting to scour the whole city with the O-pairs - or stalk Hazel specifically - but having to come up with a creative excuse to hide his intentions. Like him deliberately sending Dev to school with a hidden camera and we keep cutting back to Dale watching the footage at home, or inviting Hazel's family to dinner (maybe through a connection with Hazel's dad studying mystical things; he could say he wanted to show him something or fund his research). -> You're a super rich man and you tell that parascientist that you believe in him and want to fund his research? I think he'd bend over backwards to please you. -> That said, I've enjoyed seeing lots of Hazel episodes. We've gotten important friend and family bonding that I wouldn't want to lose, and we'll probably get some flashbacks that show how we got here. Just... I would've enjoyed building tension over time.

Okay, unpause...

... Hm. So, you're telling me Timmy gets in huge trouble because he secretly froze time 50 years ago, but Hazel gets handed a rule-free wish and none of the Big Fellas are here to supervise...

She's already manipulated time twice without this. If she also wished for time to freeze for 50 years, but it was on a rule-free wish, would anyone bat an eye? Like, could anyone stop her?

I don't love this, but again, let's see where we're goin' with it. I think I know why Hazel and Dev are fighting in the title card. He's gonna want her wish for his dad's love, I assume.

I'm still unclear on why that wasn't one of his wishes when he had Irep.

Wait a sec... He freaked out that Hazel "wished for them to be friends” (his interpretation). He probably genuinely does not want to wish for his dad's love, because it would be "fake."

Now I'm really confused. Timmy had to get his 1 million wishes reviewed and defend the most questionable ones in court. Was that just... something they only did for Timmy because of his history of collateral damage, which is made very clear in the episode, and everyone lied to him that review was standard procedure? lol.

Oh boy. I'm not sure I'm gonna like this... I've not made a real attempt to let New Wish stand for itself as a separate thing from the OG series (I'm too familiar with the show to pretend I don't use it as a baseline to study this one), but maybe I'll have to try and ignore the fact that we're in blatant canon violation. Despite knowing "Secret Wish" is canon in this spin-off.

Is Hazel going to be super anxious about having a rule-free wish? Is that what the recent set-up of anxiety in these last few episodes was for?

lol, I just realized that (unless this rule-free wish comes in the form of a muffin) Hazel's now put herself in a situation where she's not going to be able to wish for the entire rest of this finale unless she's willing with her rule-free wish. That would be really clever.

I said I expected Dev to turn from his dad to Hazel, but I can also see Hazel using her rule-free wish to save Dev from falling to his death or something.

?? I am SO CONFUSED. If they want to do a rule-free plot - and if they don't follow standard protocol for 1 million wishes - why didn't they just do a fairyversary plot? She should be WAY closer to hitting her 1-year anniversary of godparents than to a million wishes.

Rule-free wishes are canon for the 1-year anniversary, and "Abra-castrophe" is probably the best-known movie of the series. It would've made sense.

And she clearly hasn't hit her anniversary yet in a world where we assume that's still canon, or she'd already have rule-free wish experience, which she doesn't.

Pfft, the Big Wand drained. That's... also a way you can take away her ability to wish so this finale will be dramatic, but I liked my "oh no, if I wish for anything, I'll waste my rule-free wish" theory better :'D

Cosmo: We've gone to Fairy World with you 39 to 40 times! :) Me, who previously said I was sad we hadn't seen Hazel being delighted by Fairy World or engaging with its magic, whispering: what the fliiiiiip... This has never been indicated even slightly... why weren't we shown this?? instead, you flat-out told us Fairy World was "reserved for special occasions," which you then used photo evidence to back up your insistence that going to Fairy World was really only for times Jorgen is testing you as godparents... I'm so confused...

Did I miss some episodes? Did we jump forward in time? Is there a plot twist time travel reveal? I feel like I missed 2 or 3 whole seasons;;

- Fairy World should be a big deal. It should feel very different than the human world and be full of weird roads, magical creatures new to Hazel, purple grass, etc. - I'm sad that our only times seeing Hazel interact with Fairy World are when she and Kennueth went clothes shopping (in one store we didn't see them enter or leave, just a scene change) and when she was randomly teleporting around with Dev. Or Fairy Con, I guess, but we haven't seen her wander the streets. I'm just sad to hear she's gone so many times, so now I'll not get to see her explore. - Had my hopes up for something akin to "Big Wanda" or "Odd Squad" or "Timmy TV" :'D Or even just "Most Wanted Wish" when Timmy goes to lunch with Mama Cosma

I just want to see New Wish's version of random reminders that Fairy World is a funky non-human society and it's fun to explore :'D

I wanna be wowed!! And I'm sad I don't get to be there when Hazel truly starts looking around. Alas...

I'm operating with the assumption that the show may get a second season (at least, it needs to be set up so it can either tie up loose ends or continue in the future). 1 million wishes is a strange thing to drop on us this early (Skipped every milestone and skipped oodles of adventures). I saw no foreshadowing or hints that they were doing any of this.

-> I could've sworn her most recent milestone was 100... Or if I'm misremembering, it can't have been more than 1000.

Hmm. I do like how Wanda's worried and Cosmo's kicking his legs.

... When I paused to write my note about not being shown this, I thought I heard a flashback ripple that would showcase Hazel's wishes. But it was not. It's just a normal scene change :')

This is a 20-minute episode; I can't treat it like a movie. They're doing their best in the allotted time and budget and I'm glad we even get a finale.

But also, I really like how "Secret Wish" makes a special effort to showcase tons of Timmy's wishes, most of which we'd seen, but a few that were made up. It gave us story context and depth that I'm itching for more of with Hazel.

- I like what I've seen with Hazel, but I feel like I just got sucker punched in a "Haha, you don't get to bond with this character or be there during these important events like finally exploring Fairy World with Cosmo and Wanda" kind of way. I feel robbed and icky. - Next you're gonna tell me she's already familiar with Juandissimo, Mama Cosma, Schnozmo, Blonda, and/or Big Daddy and I'll just sit here feeling sad, cheated, and confused. Let's hope not...

omg, we're going back to the Hocus Poconos in the finale and it's gonna be full of unwished Hazel stuff..... Is that why we don't have flashbacks yet? That'd be clever! My theory was that Lezah got sent there, and they did set her up as a rival with a very thoughtful design... so maybe.

??????? whaaaat.

hooooly, what is this...

Well, that's not Dimmadome aesthetic, so this doesn't fit my Dale theory. I don't recognize this style. It gives me Crocker vibes, but we've only seen him once.

?? The fact that Cosmo described the Big Wand as yellow and Hazel says "It's blue" when she shows up makes me think this is supposed to be Anti-Fairy aesthetic (even though their star is black), but it sure doesn't look like it...

We know, like... 4 things about Anti-Fairy World: red skies, purple roads, lots of metal, and Anti-Cosmo's castle design. This doesn't look like any of those things.

I want to think Crocker, but it can't be... He's only had one cameo. We just barely had our second Anti-Fairy reminder; this HAS to be Anti-Fairies. but... throwing out their aesthetic would be a heck of a way to introduce them :'D

If this is Anti-Fairies, I'll let it slide because they seem to have taken over Fairy World, so actually... it makes sense Anti-Cosmo's sign isn't here. Also, they wouldn't bring the sky. And I can't blame them for not lugging barbed wire out here.

Actually, this looks closer to Fairy World when it lost power in "Crocker Shocker" than to Anti-Fairy World. Which would track with the fact the Big Wand just went down.

I do like how the bridges look like lava. I think I like that better than Anti-Fairy World's purple roads.

I'm really glad to see the roads connecting different clouds up and down as that's Fairy World's signature thing; I was sad in Episode 2 that Fairy World didn't look magical or make me interested in returning.

Ironically, this might be the best showcase of the roads I remember from either series. But I miss the mountains…

Okay- I've taken some time to sit and think. I'm paused at 2:48, so I don't think I have enough clues to put the pieces together, but since it's the finale and I'm not sure if I'll be spoiler-free again if we get new episodes, I'm pulling out all my theorizing stoppers. Bear with me.

1) We know Fairy World is shut down right now. I think it's coincidence that this happened when Hazel earned her rule-free wish. I don't think anyone's plotting to take her wish, and I do think she'll use her wish to either save Dev's life or make him happy.

2) We know the Big Wand is blue (???) and the sky is gloomy. That feels like Anti-Fairy vibes despite this not being their aesthetic.

3) We know Anti-Fairy World is still a thing; Jorgen sent Irep to Anti-Fairy World when he booted him away from Dev. That implies the species are still divided.

In most of their appearances, there's a theme of Anti-Fairies being locked away. I think something happened to get them out, which plays into my next thought:

4) If this is Anti-Fairies, I lean towards this being Irep now grown-up and following through on his dream of taking over. It feels weird, because his goal in the debut of THIS series was obtaining godkids, so... I'm not sure, but I'm getting Irep vibes. Here is why.

- This feels closer to Irep's aesthetic than Anti-Cosmo's. Foop's thing has always been that he loves Anti-Fairy World the way it is, and all the creepy aesthetic that goes with it. He eats it up. - Anti-Cosmo enjoys chaos, but his whole thing is being jealous of the Fairies. He hates being locked up and seems more tolerant of Anti-Fairy World's vibes than appreciative of them. His thing is that he desperately wants Earth (so it’s really funny he said H.P. could blow it up. BFFs…) - OG series Anti-Cosmo doesn't even want to take over Fairy World; he wants a godkid. His shtick is "I will literally do anything for a godkid even if it's stupid and I make a fool of myself." And then he makes a fool of himself; it's great.

I don't think Irep is capable of taking over Fairy World by himself, even though he wants it. But I also don't think Anti-Cosmo would do this, even though (if his Anti-Fairies followed orders) he probably could.

Taking over means confronting magical people, and Anti-Cosmo doesn't, like... do that. He taunts people IF he holds a blatant advantage (like them being locked up or them being a human who can't jump and grab him), but he's also a huge coward <3 He's Mr. Buddy System. He needs his Anti-Fairies. So... He might be here, yeah! But I do get major Irep vibes. Irep's totally leading, and I don't see Anti-Cosmo's aesthetic here, so I think he's playing a small supporting role if he's here at all. - Anti-Cosmo thinks being locked in Anti-Fairy World sucks, but he also hates leaving the house, you get me?

I DO think Anti-Cosmo would be willing to help someone who helped him. And I do think he doesn't mind Anti-Fairies taking over if it keeps Fairies off his back... but ruling isn't his gig. He likes being a goofball in the field.

I think someone else who wants to take over Fairy World got the Anti-Fairies out of Anti-Fairy World, and this is Anti-Fairy aesthetic combined with someone else's. I think they've been granted freedom in exchange for their numbers and magic.

Dale has ginger hair. HE looks like the roads. Now, THAT would be funny.

oh, I'm an IDIOT! It's gotta be DEV. He went looking for Anti-Fairies at the end of "Best of Luck!"

omg, this is Irep's love for darkness and cruelty plus Dev's ginger hair aesthetic! That feels totally right. That's my final answer.

Okay, THIS IS MAKING SENSE. I've been sitting here for (no joke) an hour outlining mental notes like "Irep got flicked away by Jorgen being casual; he can't possibly take over by himself. And you'd need a ton of Anti-Fairies to pull this off, and they take orders from Anti-Cosmo... but why would Anti-Cosmo take over Fairy World? He's literally always dragged his feet about it when the idea comes up."

But if Dev let the Anti-Fairies out - thus earning Anti-Cosmo's assistance - and we know Dev's been ANGRY... Ooooh, that would answer my concerns. I'm ready for this.

Anti-Cosmo does not have the best track record with not backstabbing someone who releases his people, so I'm intrigued.

And this COULD be a way to get the godkids! Indirectly, but we just found out Anti-Fairies can now yoink godkids if Fairies quit, which is a new rule for this series!! Ohhh, I'm picking up what they're putting down (I think).

I'm here, I'm ready, I'm excited. Let's do this.

Hey, actually, before I unpause... what the flip. Up until this second, I assumed the notes Cosmo and Wanda wrote on Dale's note board were going to be found by Dale... ... but we KNOW Dev saw them. HE knows about the Big Wand. AND he has a way to get to Fairy World (Peri, and/or Irep coming back for him, and/or if he broke into Cosmo and Wanda's apartment I guess) that Dale doesn't. And he's even been here before, and he's been researching Anti-Fairies. That makes so much sense.

Final answer: I think Dev released the Anti-Fairies (bringing back Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda for finale, yay!) and they're teamed up enough to blend their aesthetics, indicating a semi-equal partnership.

I think A.C., A.W., and Irep will all be here together, finally giving us family vibes for them (fingers crossed), but I think Irep will suck at being a team player. I think Anti-Cosmo will play along with Dev until he decides it would be to their benefit to backstab. Not sure what they'll do with Anti-Wanda; she might hang back =(

Maybe we'll get lucky and Anti-Wanda will be motherly towards Dev. Anti-Cosmo being fatherly would be funny.

omfg, that would be REALLY funny. Anti-Cosmo wants godkids- can you even IMAGINE the daddy issues that would resurface if Irep had to watch his dad fawn over his new friend? crying.

Irep's not big on backstabbing people unless they betray him first (Ex: Crocker not inviting him to his house party), so I do think if Anti-Cosmo fawned over Dev, that would snap him. lol.

I'm not expecting Anti-Cosmo to talk about wanting godkids, which is fine... This is a new show, and he's had time to form a new dynamic with his son that wasn't there in the OG series (because his son grew up in Abracatraz and Foop was upset about his parents "moving away without leaving a forwarding address again" in "Certifiable Super Sitter"), so it's not like their dynamic was great back then.

"Hey Riddle, didn't you say once the week they ditched Foop would pan out to be during free-tailed bat mating season? And hasn't that always been your headcanon'd species for them and it got way funnier when it turned out Foop's toes are canonically light-colored, just like the white bristles on free-tailed bats' feet?" Yeah. lmao.

Also, I think Dale should have a gun.

I have my fingers crossed that we are referencing "Secret Wish" for a reason... but the only thing I can think of is that the Hocus Poconos is coming back.

I'm just so surprised they'd make up new lore for a rule-free wish in a way that directly violates that episode's canon of what happens at 1 mil (considering that if people wanted to go digging for Hocus Poconos backstory after its introduction in this series, "Secret Wish" is what they'd watch) instead of using the established one with the shorter time period, unless they just didn't know the lore.

It has to be intentional. But why?

My thoughts are that they don't want a rule-free muffin bouncing around or they didn't want Hazel's muffin to be compared to the OG series... but that makes me sad because we know that was established for any godkid who keeps fairies for a year. It would be so easy... That's literally the movie they air often... It's the one people are probably most familiar with...

Hmm. Well. I'll take a breath and try to let New Wish stand on its own, but I'm just very surprised.

Plot Point Theories

... Okay, I've been thinking a little longer (next day), and now I'm REALLY nervous if this is Dev. Because if Dev's hanging around Anti-Fairies and making wishes with their powers, Peri's gonna get magical back-up.

In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't already since we haven't seen him grant a single wish for Dev in several episodes, and when he did show up, he was in his parents' house with Dev nowhere to be seen.

Also, the Big Wand is down- everyone is gonna get magical back-up, which we just learned kills you.

In the OG show it didn't kill you (and Cosmo and Wanda went through it multiple times), so if they explode and then turn out to be fine, I won't be surprised. However, they seem to be pushing the death story for this show.

Fairies leaving no bodies behind when they die was canon in the OG though, so I like that part (They left dust, and I've always headcanon'd Anti-Fairies as leaving behind smoke since Foop was born from a smoke cloud).

- I like that in this series, they clarify magical backup occurs "if you don't use magic." That was always unclear in the old one, where they used to say "if you don't grant wishes" despite the majority of Fairies not being godparents. - In 'fics, I went the route of "Well, godparents probably get a huge power boost of magic when they sync up to a godkid, hence why the creatures who are so paranoid about people hurting them are even motivated to help kids, and that's why you risk backup." - Specifically, I went a whole worldbuilding route where godparents draw energy through the Big Wand, but use godkids as a springboard to alter the world in ways they normally aren't powerful enough to do (so I like how we saw Irep messing with the flow of time when he became Dev's godparent in "Best of Luck" since that was probably the first time he was able to play with those kinds of powers in an all-encompassing way). - But if it's just magic in general, that's a completely new vibe than anything I've played with, and I like that. I'm ready to be surprised and horrified about what does or doesn't count as magic.

I think if Hazel doesn't save Dev with her rule-free wish, she's probably gonna wish someone who explodes from magical back-up back to life.

My predictions for where Dev's arc is going:

- Peri's going to get magical back-up and Dev will be some emotion like shocked, ashamed, or remorseful.

- Anti-Cosmo specifically will backstab Dev when he's "no longer needed" (Irep won't; Irep's always wanted friends. He might even stand up for Dev against Anti-Cosmo, but I'm not confident).

- If Dale shows up in this episode, he's gonna uncover Fairy World's shtick and have a meltdown that the Fairies never rescued him from 7 years of child labor.

- Dale tries to explain himself to Dev, justifying his behavior with claims that he's never "meant" to treat him poorly and all he's ever wanted is for Dev to have a better life without needing to carry the burden of trauma and the past that Dale does.

-> Big "I was going to tell you when you're older; I was trying to do the right thing for both of us" vibes

Ex: We know Dev never gets to have lemonade (presumably a trigger for Dale) & we know Dale has told Dev he "worked in a factory underneath a lemonade stand," but withheld details on Vicky (with Dev having no baseline for how Vicky could possibly know his dad). -> And Vicky only said lemonade stand, not factory, which makes me think Dale's withheld some of the details. For all I know, Dev might think his dad "worked in a factory" by choice. If he uncovers Dale's trauma (maybe by finding memories or records of the past), Dev's gonna either be annoyed his dad withheld this from him, or confused and saddened in a way they can bond over. -> Ex: Maybe Dev thinks "Vicky and my dad worked at a stand as kids and my dad went on to a factory and she's bitter." Part of me is like "Surely there's no reason to bring the lemonade up; it's not a big deal for Dev like it was to his dad," but after Vicky referenced it recently (and Dev was like "How does she know my dad?"), I suspect we might play with that someday, even if it's not in this episode (Because I can see Dev's daddy issues being a multi-season thing to maintain tension).

- Dev's going to break, lose, or throw away his shades, symbolizing that he wants to stop regressing.

-> I imagine them getting broken during a tense moment (such as Anti-Cosmo backstabbing him and smashing them under his foot) so it feels sad at the time as Dev clings to his comfort item, but he's gonna learn to let it go.

- Dev will reject his dad and stay with Hazel and/or Cosmo and Wanda, willing to put in the work to be a nicer person. Also, Peri resolves some issues he has with his parents.

-> Actually, forget that: I think Peri should get his own apartment and Dev can hang out with him there. I really want to see them try to live on their own when I don't think either of them knows how to do much to get by in the real world. I want them to confuse scream together as they try to, like... read bus routes and grocery shop.

- Dev will finally get to taste lemonade. tbh, I think if I was handed this set-up and told to find a fun way to end it... I'd have Hazel "waste" her rule-free wish because it makes her anxious, so she opts to give Dev lemonade.

-> Again, I know the lemonade's probably not a big deal to Dev, but I think it's funny. Then she no longer has to think about the anxiety the wish causes her, and he can be touched by her kindness. lmao.

In "Nectar of the Odds," Timmy's lemonade could grant wishes for anyone who drank it. Dev getting his hands on THAT would be hilarious. I'm not sure what it would add that Peri can't give him, but it would be a funny way to use magic when the Big Wand is down (because Cosmo made that lemonade with his sweat, which he still has in this episode, implication being fairies kinda ooze their extra magic). I can't imagine they would do that because it requires a big callback to the OG series and magical lemonade's not been foreshadowed, but... Dale himself is a callback to that same episode, so I write off nothing. I'm super glad Dale was brought back as Doug's son. Imagine if Dev had different parents, one of whom was Doug's child, so we had a Dimmadome child, but it wasn't Dale. - I'm glad he's here because it feels like the writers did their research. I'd miss him.

Alternate endings I don't think are likely, but they make me laugh:

- Finale doesn't 100% wrap up and instead we're setting up a longer-term relationship for Dev and the Anti-Fairies.

- Dale and Dev have a heart-to-heart and try resolving some of their issues. Dev reaches the point where he's no longer miserable (maybe through his dad being kind to him, or Dev opts to cut ties with his dad and it's a weight off, or Hazel being his friend), so he and Peri will part ways (which tbh... might be healthy for both of them).

- ?? I think I like the idea of Dev no longer counting as miserable, which should disqualify him from having a fairy, but the Council lets him move into Poof's apartment as long as Cosmo and Wanda are nearby to keep an eye on them.

- Alternatively, Dev and Peri break up because Peri realizes he wasn't ready to godparent yet. He takes time away. Thus, Dev temporarily ends up as a shared godkid with Cosmo and Wanda (an unlikely callback to the old series since a lot of people didn't like Chloe sharing fairies with Timmy, but I think it would be funny).

-> Or, Hazel decides Dev needs Cosmo and Wanda more than she does (I'm not saying she doesn't need them, but canonically most godkids don't keep their fairies for long, so it would be interesting). She lets them go so he can have them, maybe using her rule-free wish to do this.

That's not a likely way to wrap up a finale that needs to leave things open for future seasons (if any), but intriguing to think about. We never got a proper send-off for Timmy in the OG series and one of my early theories for New Wish was that Hazel might give Cosmo and Wanda to Dev in the finale, so I think it's worth mentioning.

This show really likes changing the status quo, which was uncommon in the OG series, so I like that about it and I'm interested to see what might happen.

------

Now then... I am once again writing my concerns about Anti-Fairy reboot stuff so I can look back later and see what did or didn't happen.

Basically the same thing I said in Post #10

If you don't like people talking about concerns, you can stop here and I'll pick up the liveblog in my next post <3

------

Okay, so... hm.

I'm not that picky about what they do with Anti-Cosmo. If he's now more interested in taking over Fairy World than chasing after godkids, I'll allow it. He can mix it up and it makes for a dramatic story.

Also, the chances of us getting to see his many facets are pretty low if we only get this one 20-minute episode that also has to (presumably) wrap up the Hazel-Dev conflict and some of Dev's issues towards his dad. We're not gonna have time to see much of A.C. beyond whatever he's out here doing, which seems to be evil takeover stuff. And that's okay.

But my hope is that I don't have to see Anti-Cosmo making Dev sign a contract. I really want the Pixies to keep the stuff that's theirs. I don't want their cool things to be moved to characters who are already popular.

Also, I refuse to believe the man who can't sit still for 3 seconds and whose plans look like this would have the skills or patience to write his own contract:

If there's a contract, I'll take it with grace, but I'll headcanon he's been hanging out with H.P. (which I'm not opposed to at all, so that's a win for me).

I'm glad I took the time to sleep and think about this. I'm not sure my thoughts will be correct, but I think I've made peace with the idea of Anti-Cosmo taking over Fairy World: something he's never really expressed interest in and that I associate with H.P. instead.

I said in Post #10 that I was really nervous about the possibility of Anti-Cosmo being rebooted as a suave, sassy, super calculating sexy bad boy who's now confident and all-in on taking over Fairy World... considering that in the OG series, he's an awkward nerd who hates confrontation, defers to H.P. even in his own castle, can't discipline his son, likes comic books, spins in circles, jumps on tables, throws tantrums, will wander off when he's left alone, and wants a godkid.

He DOES have smug energy and cool lines sometimes... but he's also a tantrum-throwing brat who's scared to stand up to people, and in this house, we love him for it!!

And yes, I am so nervous that I'm going to have to watch Anti-Cosmo be rebooted so he's more like H.P. - who IS the suave, sassy villain who's meticulous and in control - and then I'm going to make " :'D " faces for years as I watch the fandom gush over Anti-Cosmo turning into the cool villain H.P. always was. I'm sorry, it's selfish, but H.P. is my favorite and has been a big part of my life for the last 8 years of 'fic writing and fanart, so it would make me sad :') Also, I like Anti-Cosmo being dorky; who will I turn to for a dorky magical villain if I lose him?? The second half of this fear is... Since rebooting Anti-Cosmo into a sassy, confident villain who plans well and wants to take over Fairy World would make him basically the same as H.P., then the pixies are less likely to show up in future seasons (if any) (Alas), or worse... ... H.P. might return, but get rebooted so he's no longer one of the snarkiest characters in the whole show... No longer uses finger guns, no longer gets excited over puns, no longer kicks back to drink the canon alcohol parallel (soda) on the job, no longer wears two hats at the same time, and no longer ditches responsibility for raves :') And I'd just be very sad if I had to see his character traits stripped from him and folded into Anti-Cosmo instead, seeing as A.C. is already very popular with fans and doesn't need the boost in cool.

But... All this said, now that I've sat with my thoughts, I like this idea of Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Irep doing things as a family. THAT is interesting enough to me that I think I'll forgive Anti-Cosmo being confident and sassy, if that's how he's rebooted.

I think it's reasonable for A.C. to change for his family. So... as much as I'd be nervous for what it could mean for H.P., it'll be fine.

I just want Anti-Cosmo to be an awkward nerd pretending to be confident, but also he likes to run around and goof off, but he should also look at people like he's confused they kicked his puppy. Also, that scene in "When Nerds Collide" that you can pause with perfect timing and see him holding Anti-Wanda's hand lives rent-free in my head. You have to balance the smug "In your face" dance & his love for touching things & how oblivious he is to Anti-Wanda's pregnancy cravings & the fact that he shook his wife up and down 2 seconds after she gave birth & how he much he cries & the fact he throws tantrums kicking and screaming & that he once pulled Timmy towards him and then dropped him on the floor because he forgot he couldn't float. This man is a spoiled brat with the giddy energy of a Labrador and the emotional stability of tinsel. you understand...

Man. Why am I so nervous?? H.P. and A.C. both had a decent amount of episodes, and there have been so many callbacks to the OG series that I'm sure the writers studied A.C. before putting him onscreen. If for nothing else, then to get a feel for his dialogue.

If H.P.'s characterization can remain the same across several years in the OG series, he'd probably be fine if they ever came back. I'll be less bothered about Anti-Cosmo changing if H.P. doesn't become less sassy as a result, and I'm probably overthinking (though I have many questions about where Hazel's love for paperwork is going; it almost feels like they're setting up a Pixie plot)

-> Especially since about 15 months ago, there was a rumor going around that the Pixies would return "in the 2nd half of the season." It was later decided they weren't, but the possibility that they nearly did just gets me on edge.

I'll always be happy to see my specialist boy in the world, but if they reduce H.P. to the Pixie stereotype when his whole thing is that he conflicts with whatever dull and boring expectations you go in with, I'll be injured in Family Guy death pose forever. Do not do this to me… I want him back so badly :') ...

Okay. On to a 2nd post! ... Tomorrow, I think. I'm not even 3 minutes in. Haha, I'm in danger.

#Riddle watches FOP #New Wish spoilers #Pending Hazel tag #FAIRIES!#Dale Dimmadome owner of Dimmadome Global #Dev Dimmadome owner of anguish #Dragonfly parents #A New Wish #The bat with the hat #I'm wasp dad trash #screenshots #Long post

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rahuratna · 3 months ago

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Womanhood; Loss

TW: mentions of serious illness and surgery.

Today is Women's Day in my country. Yes, it's a celebration of women. It's also a day for us to pause and reflect on the rampant gender-based violence that plagues our society. It's a day to highlight the achievements of women, but also a day to remember what we achieved in spite of the challenges we face.

It's a day for us to receive colourful and creative cards and messages, maybe even flowers, but also a day for us to wonder whether today will be free of violence, of having to justify our most basic wishes and desires, of having to explain, for the hundredth time, our choices to people who refuse to understand them.

Will I catch a break today? I hope I do.

What makes me a woman? I've thought about that a lot too. I've lost my breasts due to a double mastectomy (with subsequent reconstruction). I've probably lost my ability to have children due to chemotherapy. Many tell me that those things are simply symbolic of being a woman, and they're right. These things don't define my identity. They don't define who I am.

So why? Why was it still so hard for me to deal with losing them? Why did I actually feel like less of a woman when I did not have them? Why was it depressing, soul crushing, even, to lose two mounds flesh and the ability to procreate (which I wasn't that keen on in the first place).

I'd like to step back from the torrent of emotions I felt at that stage, to paddle myself to the safe bank of detachment and watch things unfold from there. I could nod sagely to myself and say, well this is a product of society's conditioning. The media and centuries of literature and art are responsible for the way I feel right now, as if I've been robbed of something, when really, I haven't.

But I can't paddle myself to safety. I can't reach that safe area. I have to stand in the strongest part of the current, feel myself battered, torn, flung in one direction, then the next. I can't run away from the loss and pain I feel.

I began to recognise, after a while, what it was I was truly mourning. I was mourning my loss of choice. My loss of agency. Why had I lost this basic autonomy, to choose to have a child if I wanted to, to choose to pillow a lover's head against the real flesh of my breasts, to go to sleep at night with a feeling of peace, as I once did, without the spectre of my illness hanging over me, something that could return at any time and rob me of even more?

And I'm not alone. There are countless people who feel the same.

I am a woman. I am a human being. I have been lost, many, many times. I have dragged myself out of a darkness that threatens to consume everything I was, everything I am. I will continue to do so. I will scream it to the world, through the clothes I choose to wear, the food I choose to eat, the way I choose to wear my hair, the way I choose to work and support myself, the way I choose to create and disseminate my ideas to the world.

I am still able to write and express my thoughts.

Maybe next, I'll write an ode to my breasts, those small, pliant growths that budded so beautifully during my teenage years, that brought me so many awakenings, and betrayed me with a genetic defect they had no control over. I cut them away, so readily, but I can think of them fondly now. This too, is my choice.

I am still me. I have had much taken away, but I am still here, and I will leave my mark on the world.

#rahu writes #journal #self love #self care #thoughts on recovery

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amoramoon · 1 year ago

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How to put your life together and become who you want ✰‧₊˚

How to start planning? ✰✰✰✰✰

Write down your basic daily activities (take a shower, brush your teeth, eat, etc) including how much time you spend on that.

Make a list of activities you HAVE to do, also including the time you spend doing those.

Set clear goals, list them and put them in a priority order and plan how you can achieve them.

Be honest with yourself ✰✰✰✰✰

⋅⟡⋅ You’re not a robot, so be real and honest: can you achieve all your goals working on all of them at once?

⋅⟡⋅ Make sure to don’t expect brilliant results in a short amount time. Sometimes it might happen but remember that these are exceptional moments.

Visualizing your plans ✰✰✰✰✰

After following those steps you can finally make a visual plan of your new routine. You can use a physical planner or a digital one. For those who want a digital one here are some recommendations that might help you (each one works in a very different way, so try some of them and see what works better for you):

Notion has many templates that you can use or create one your own. You can customise all templates but its functions are more focused on productivity than aesthetics. Also, the templates are made to be updated with your new informations, so you wouldn’t have to delete them, just the information in it (depending on the template, because some of them change every week or month so you don’t lose the information or have to delete them manually). You can access it by the app or browser.

Canva can also be accessed by the app or browser. It has many pretty and cute free templates. It’s perfect for those who want something very practical and aesthetically pleasing. You can edit weekly or monthly planners, or just delete them and create a new one in minutes. It’s very intuitive and simple to use.

Pinterest can be accessed by the app or browser. There you can find many template ideas that you can save as an image, but you cannot edit the template on Pinterest. It might help you on having some ideas to base on your own template or to find links of other templates.

Just do it! ✰✰✰✰✰

Now it’s on you to just do it! Make sure to not push yourself too hard and to stay healthy. You can do it!

✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜✩°｡⋆⸜

Hi! I just wanted to say that I have many things that I write about but I always keep them to myself and as someone who focus a lot in personal growth, I think it would be a great idea to share my growth journey with other people so we can help each other to stay motivated and focused in order to achieve our goals. If you have any suggestions or questions feel free to interact here. I wish you guys the life you want and deserve. Thank you for reading.

here’s an ice cube for you: 🧊

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scaredcrab · 2 years ago

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Coffee shop (drabble)

Character: ☼ Wukong x Reader

✐ Summary: You work in the most relaxing coffee shop of the city. A special client starts visiting the place regularly.

✐ Category: Cute. Romantic.

-✐-☼-✐-☼-✐-☼-✐-☼-✐-☼-✐-☼-✐-☼- ☼ Sun Wukong was going around in the form of a bird when he saw with his golden eyes some beautiful pastries by the window. He couldn't resist entering.

☼ Taking the opportunity to go through the door when someone opened it, Wukong sneaked to the countertop, ready to use his enchanting bird appearance to gain free snacks.

☼ That's when he fell into the trap, he held his gaze in the direction of something that attracted much more attention than the sweets themselves.

☼ Finishing writing down an order on a notepad, you tucked your pen behind your ear and turned to go on your way, until your attention was stolen by the sight of a bird inside your workplace.

☼ "Wow, what a beautiful visitor we have here. Would you like something, buddy?"

☼ You not only gave him a treat, you also let him have a table for two in the corner of the establishment. All the comfort that someone who eats without paying would want.

☼ From there, he decided that he needed to get closer to you.

☼ He started visiting whenever he could, only buying something if you are in your working shift.

☼ Wears a hooded outfit to hide most of his features, and a disposable surgical mask to hide his face when he comes to talk to you.

☼ He usually asks for some peach desserts and a coffee drink to go with it.

☼ Initially, Wukong doesn't like coffee, but he asks for it every time, since you recommended it when he asked your favorite product of the cafeteria. He would get rid of it by giving it for free to Tang later.

☼ But over time you realized that your shy customer had the habit of not drinking all the coffee and always asked for a cup to "drink the rest on the trip".

☼ "What do you think about having a latte instead of the espresso this time?"

☼ You asked what kind of latte art he would like to see in his drink. Uncertain of what to reply, he simply blurted out a "surprise me".

☼ And you fulfilled the agreement! The king almost couldn't drink when he came across the image of a small peach with delicate leaves made from milk foam in the cup.

☼ The next time he came for a latte he asked for a little foam monkey, and the next time he asked for a fireworks image, and so on with different specifications each time.

☼ A small detail that stole the monkey's heart even more was noticing that something started to accompany the latte: You started leaving messages thanking him for visiting on napkins with smiley faces drawn in the corner of the papers.

☼ Of course, he didn't hold you hostage to the latte arts for long. When he saw that with a specific drink you wrote what people asked for on the cup, he had to ask for one of those too.

☼ "Uhhh… Which one of the drinks come in with those plastic lids and a straw, and then you write something on the cup?"

"You mean a frappé?" - You said it with a smile that clearly showed how cute this was for you.

"If this is going to make you write in the cup, than that's exactly what I want."

☼ Once the drink was ready, you did what you normally do, asked the client name to put in the cup. A perfect opportunity to find out something about the peach dessert customer.

☼ Then you heard a cough through the mask, followed by a sly remark.

"Actually, I would prefer to see your number written there."

Needless to say, he got your contact, right?

☼ And everything would have ended as Wukong wished, if not for an unexpected problem. The place that only a few minutes ago had only the two of you had its front door opened, revealing two thieves breaking in.

☼ Facing the sight of your frightened face, he came out of his disguise to defend you. A fight that didn't last long, considering that one of those involved was none other than the Great Sage.

☼ He thought he lost all chances with you, considering that the opportunity to approach him calmly without the pressure of being "The Monkey King" has now been destroyed.

☼ "Thank you so much for saving me, and sorry for the inconvenience. Would a free dessert be a good way to make up for the inconvenience?" - Even after seeing who he was, your attitude towards him hadn't changed, you remained the same charming barista as ever.

Still dazed, the monkey had to shake its head to think again and come up with the perfect answer.

"It wasn't an inconvenience to help you, buuuut a date would be a nice reward if you want my opinion."

☼ Fortunately for both of you, several encounters followed that day. If before there was a crush full of chemistry, now a sugary love has begun to build.

#lmk #lego monkie kid x reader #lmk x reader #lmk sun wukong #lmk fanfiction #lmk sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x reader #wukong x reader

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safarigirlsp · 1 year ago

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Happy Fuckin’ Birthday

Happy Fuckin' Birthday

Flip Zimmerman x Lawyer Reader

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: NSFW. Smut. Angst, maybe? Comedy. Abuse of process. Hazing Flip for his birthday, as one should. Birthday pranks. Bitchy Reader. If you want a sweet, submissive, shy reader, my fics are never for you xD

AO3 Link

A little birthday celebration for Scorpio season! I had this written timely on November 19, but just forgot to post it. Whoops!

Turning forty wasn’t something Flip Zimmerman was overly excited about. It had nothing to do with the usual dramatics and neuroses that plagued most people. He didn’t have any deep regrets in life; he hadn’t taken any stupid turns or failed to seize any major opportunities; he didn’t have a ‘one that got away’ – the things in life that can add up to a mid-life crisis or make a man dread the passage of years. He had the woman he wanted, the job he wanted, and for the most part, the life he wanted. Flip didn’t give a damn about the number of candles on his cake. What annoyed the hell out of him was the production everyone else in his life had to make over it. That might rank as one of his bigger regrets in life, telling people close to him when his damn birthday was. His birthday would be a perfectly fine day, if no one else knew about it.

To Flip, his birthday was just another day on the calendar. But could everyone else in his life ever treat it that simply? Fuck no.

Flip never took the day off for his birthday. He immediately lost respect for any man who did that. Women got a pass with such frivolous and indulgent things, but men had no business pampering themselves like candy asses. This year was poised to be a little extra good for Flip since his birthday fell over a weekend. He could guiltlessly spend it exactly how he wanted, which was also how he’d spend every other day of his life if he was free from all financial, vocational, and social obligations. Flip wanted to spend his birthday weekend hidden away in his cabin, sleeping, eating, and fucking just as much as he wanted, and not doing a damned thing else or talking to a damned person other than his girl.

So far, Flip’s birthday weekend had been precisely what he wanted. Starting Friday night, he had gotten his birthday wish in quantities sufficient to appease all his ravenous hungers. Saturday had been the same, and it had been glorious. He had put on a damn fine show for his girl, if he did say so himself. He figured it was the best way to demonstrate he was a vigorous man in his prime, not a doddering old bastard. Flip had allowed his lady to finagle him into sharing a steaming hot bath with her after dinner to break up the pattern. He didn’t want to admit how good it felt on his aching muscles. Even though it was only due to all the extra use over the past two days, or rather, due to the gross lack of use during the other days of the year, Flip knew his sore muscles would be used against him on his fortieth birthday. All the running and weightlifting in the world wasn’t really the same as the workout a man gets from a marathon between the sheets. He knew he was in for a generous ration of shit for his birthday, not least of all from his girl. He’d wonder what was wrong if she wasn’t giving him hell. Still, it was best not to load the guns for her.

Flip defined ‘sleeping in’ differently than most. He had been conditioned by his days in the military to be up before sunrise and ready to meet every battle with the dawn. He felt extremely lazy and indulgent when he let the sunrise wake him as it first peaked over the mountains and into his bedroom window. This attitude was in stark contrast to his wife, who considered mornings in general to be a vile institution and often bitched about how morning people were given entirely too much power in society.

Dawn on Flip’s birthday was one of those crystalline winter mornings where the light was tinted a soft pink-blue-white and frost coated everything in sight like icing on a diamante cake. It had snowed several inches during the night and outside the window, the mountains were gleaming spires, the ground was covered with fresh powder, and the pines wore a layer of snow like fancy ladies swaddled in white mink. Snowy mornings like this were Flip’s favorite kind of morning, when everything was still pristine and sparkling with promise. Before any bullshit settled in.

Groaning contentedly, Flip stretched as the sunlight danced across his face. He was still a little sore in all the places he wanted to be, and he was rock hard and ready for a proper good morning.

So far, forty felt great.

Half asleep, he turned and nuzzled his nose into the soft warm body lying curled next to him. A soft, warm, furry body. Grumbling and pulling his face away, Flip opened his bleary eyes and glared through his disheveled hair at the fat, black cat he had inherited when he had begun living with his girl. Some men have worse step kids to deal with, he reasoned now as the adorable black asshole looked back at him through slitted green eyes, as if she was just as entitled to sleep in his bed as he was. Narrowing his own eyes back at the cat, he asked her, “Where’s your mom at?”

His question was answered by the clanging of a pot on the stove downstairs and a couple choice curses in a familiar feminine voice. Now fully awake, Flip became aware of the scent of bacon, eggs, and pancakes – his favorites – and strong black coffee just how he liked it. This was a rare treat. Flip usually assumed the duty of cooking breakfast on the days they could enjoy it together. Hearing his girl down in the kitchen, slaving away over the stove at such an unconscionable hour, as she deemed it, made him grin at the effort she put in for him.

“Your mom’s a keeper,” he confided to the cat and patted her round belly. “But you’re a sorry little porker.”

Flip stretched again and ran a hand through his unruly hair. He thought he should brush it before going downstairs, but he knew how she liked it when he looked a little wilder than usual. She liked him best when he smelled fresh from a shower but looked unbrushed, unshaven, and what he thought was mildly unkempt. Women are nonsensical creatures, he had realized early in his dating career. He damn sure needed to brush his teeth and wash his face though. He pulled on the pair of jeans he wore the day before and the flannel shirt he had thrown across the room the night before, only bothering to button two of the center buttons. The phone he’d left in his jeans pocket buzzed insistently against his ass.

Should have turned the fuckin’ thing off, he lamented as he retrieved it and saw the tirade of missed calls. He knew what all those calls meant. But as long as he ignored them, he had plausible deniability, as the bloodsucking lawyers say. As his girl would say. He lost his phone; his battery died; service is bad out at his place; his wife threw it at his head and it broke against the wall.

Against his better judgment, and because it was Stallworth calling and Flip didn’t feel right about ignoring his best friend, he answered.

“What,” Flip grunted, leaving no doubt as to his feelings over this intrusion. He thought to himself, This is the beginning of a bad fuckin’ day.

“Good morning to you too,” Ron said in his easy, affable tone. “It’s a beautiful day out, isn’t it?”

“I have a feelin’ I’m not gonna think so after you tell me why in the hell you’re calling.” Flip walked sullenly to the bathroom while Stallworth ran through some pleasantries. Thankfully, he didn’t lead with Happy Birthday. Flip would have hung up on him. Flip lifted the toilet seat and unzipped his jeans.

“We just got a big break in that jewel heist case. Actually, I did. On a stakeout last night,” Ron said proudly, then paused. “Are you taking a piss while I’m talking to you?”

“We’d both be happier if you weren’t talkin’ to me, but you called,” Flip muttered and flushed the toilet. He held the phone toward the bowl so Stallworth could hear the rush of water, mimicking Flip’s interest in the matter.

“You’re a barbarian, you know that?” Stallworth laughed despite himself.

“Flattery don’t do it for me,” Flip said as he ran the sink, letting the water warm. He noticed four angry red scratches on the side of his neck from his girl’s fingernails and felt a rush of pride. “Go out and catch your jewel thief and take all the glory. Girls love that shit.” He splashed his face with hot water and lathered it with his soapy hands. “I’ll read all about your heroics in the paper.”

“It’s not that simple,” Ron said regretfully. “We need you on this one. You know I wouldn’t be calling if we didn’t.”

“I’m off. It’s a Sunday. And it’s,” he just stopped himself from saying my fuckin’ birthday. “Too fuckin’ early.”

“You think I like being the guy who has to roust the bear out of his cave?” Ron tried to joke to his entirely unreceptive audience. “We need you. Get dressed and get your ass out here.”

“God damnit.” Flip hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a great day, he thought. Aloud, he grumbled to his reflection in the mirror, “Happy fuckin’ birthday, you old bastard.”

*******************************************************************************************

A scalding droplet of bacon grease jumped from the sizzling cast iron pan to land on your exposed thigh, making you cuss under your breath as you quickly wiped it away. You were always extra prickly in the morning. Flip deserves a nice birthday breakfast, you reminded yourself and inhaled deeply, deep enough to force a good mood down your throat along with the chilly morning air. Also in honor of his birthday, you opted for a casually sexy look as opposed to something more comfortable like pajama pants and a tank. You wore only one of his favorite shirts, worn until it was soft as velvet, and slippers. Early on you had realized he liked that look on you and something about seeing you in his clothes appealed to his innate possessiveness.

It was chilly inside the cabin, save for the heat from the stove. On cold winter mornings like this the little cabin furnace had to work overtime just to keep the pipes from freezing. To really get the temperature up in the cabin, a fire needed to be lit in the living room fireplace, but you were not that ambitious before sunrise and would leave it to Flip.

As you thought of him, you heard the wooden stairs creak and knew he was descending them. His footfalls were always light, he moved agility for such a large man. You pretended not to hear him and moved to the side of the stove, leaning forward in a provocative invitation under the guise of fiddling with the coffee maker. Predictably, Flip took the bait and wrapped his arms around you from behind, pressing his chest against your back and molding his body against yours. But his arms enfolded you chastely around your waist and his hands didn’t roam higher or lower to seek out their favorite places.

“Happy birthday, old man,” you purred, rubbing your ass back against him. You felt he was wearing jeans and turned inside his arms to face him. He was fully dressed, right down to his boots. “You’re violating your own self-imposed dress code, or rather lack thereof, for this weekend.”

“I have good news for you, sugar,” Flip told you with a grin and kissed you deeply. “You get to sleep in today after all.”

“You mean after we succumb to a food and orgasm coma in a couple hours?” You grinned back. “I’d call that a nap, but suit yourself.”

“I got a call,” Flip started.

“We agreed no phones this weekend!” you cut across him, instantly bristling. “That was your rule. I have a big trial Monday and I’ve been ignoring my phone for a day and a half already. You better be joking.”

“You of all people know rules are made to be broken,” Flip tried again, still maintaining his grin that now looked moronic to you.

“I’m sore everywhere from you wanting to act like a horny teenager all day yesterday.” You raised a dangerous eyebrow. “I got up when it was still dark to freeze in your kitchen and get burned by grease to cook for you on your birthday, and you’re taking calls?” Your voice had dropped an octave and sounded deceptively calm. Flip knew these were very bad signs.

“I didn’t even take my phone out of my pocket yesterday. Ron caught me off guard this mornin,’” Flip used a reasoning tone, like he would when talking to a jumper. It didn’t help your darkening mood. “But listen, there’s been a big break in that jewel heist Ron and I’ve been workin.’ He got a tip, a hot tip, on where we can catch the bastard. But it’s tonight.”

“And Ron needs you to hold his hand for this escapade?” you asked testily.

“Well, he’s still a little green on things like this.” Flip rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor. He always did that when he was in trouble, like a grounded boy trying to look contrite. “I can eat breakfast real quick with you before I go.”

“Real quick?” you laughed sarcastically. “Just what every girl wants to hear?”

“How about I eat somethin’ else before I head out.” He winked at you, trying his best to lighten your mood.

“Yes, I’ve always loved the wham, bam, thank you, ma’am approach.” You glared at him. “How long will you be gone?”

“Well, I have to go in now to go over everything and get briefed before I go out to nab the bastard.” Knowing he was digging his hole deeper, he muttered the next confession. “And it’s at some fancy party down at the Broadmoor tonight. They figure I’d be better to walk in there and get the job done. That reminds me, I’ll need you to pick out a nice suit for me.”

“Let me make sure I understand you correctly.” You stepped away from him, beyond arm’s reach. “You’re leaving me alone today – on your day off, on a weekend, on your birthday – to go out to a swanky party at the Broadmoor while I wait here until you decide to show up again?” You raised your eyebrows. “And then, let me guess – when you get home, late, I’m sure, you want me to feed you dinner and fuck you all night again. Or will you have eaten dinner at your soiree?”

“Sugar, you know I can’t control the timing of these things,” Flip said regretfully. “Breakfast looks great. You look delicious. I don’t want to leave, you know that.” He shook his head and asked exasperatedly, “What do you want me to do?”

“It’s your birthday.” You crossed your arms over your chest and narrowed your eyes. “So, it’s your choice.”

Flip had been in enough life and death situations to know he was approaching one now. But he didn’t have much choice. “I have to go in. But I’ll be as quick as I can and I’ll see you tonight. I’ll make it up to you tonight, sugar.”

“This is such bullshit, Flip.” You were fully angry now. Flip knew he was going to be in trouble for a while. “I blew off my responsibilities to let you fuck me as much as you wanted this weekend, and what do I get? You blowing me off to run out and try to catch some petty thief? What happens if you don’t catch this guy today? You have no personal consequences. If I screw up at my job, I lose business and lose actual income, and still, I’ve been blowing off my duties for you this weekend. But you have to strut out to make an arrest now, just so you can dick wave.”

“C’mon, darlin,’” Flip pleaded, holding his arms out, as if you’d run into them. “It’s not like that.”

“No, it’s exactly like that.” You shook your head and shoved past him toward the stairs. “If you’re going to work today, so am I. I have a hearing to prep for, and at least I can bill three-fifty an hour. I’ll be late too.” You paused at the bottom of the stairs to twist the knife a little more. “Since you let these criminals interfere in our lives, maybe I’ll take your thief’s case pro bono after you arrest him and get him off in court instead of getting you off in bed.”

“Calm the fuck down!” Flip lost his temper and instantly regretted it. He calmed his own voice and added, “It’s not that big of a deal. Quit pullin’ your lawyer shit on me.”

“Are you having a senior moment? You must be getting old, after all,” you snapped and stormed up the stairs. “Don’t worry. Maybe we’ll celebrate your birthday next year.”

“You don’t think you’re overreacting just a little?” Flip asked foolishly.

“Not just yet, I’m not.” Halfway up the staircase you turned, pulled off a slipper, and threw it across the room at him. Flip ducked just in time to avoid a perfectly aimed headshot.

“You missed!” Flip bellowed triumphantly then added a cocky laugh.

You didn’t miss your second shot. You whipped your other slipper with more sting, sending it flying right into his chest with a satisfying whap. Then you turned on your heel and trotted up the stairs.

“Love you, sugar!” Flip shouted sarcastically after you. His face was hot and the thick vein in his neck pulsed angrily.

“Happy fucking birthday!” You slammed the bedroom door.

*******************************************************************************************

The drive into the station seemed longer than usual, possibly because Flip spent the better part of it grinding his teeth and strangling the steering wheel in a white-knuckled death grip. He was not at all amused when Stallworth met him at the station door holding a cane.

“Take it easy, old guy,” Stallworth said, offering him the cane. “Need a hand getting to your desk?”

“You’ll need a hand pullin’ that cane out of your ass if you don’t get it out of my face.” Flip shoved past his friend and made his way to his desk, waving off several other old jokes and happy birthdays. His menacing glare would be enough to make strangers piss their pants. Sadly, his co-workers at the station knew this was mostly posturing and it did little to deter them.

Chief Bridges was waiting for Flip at his desk, leaning against it intrusively. He wore a shit-eating grin and said with every indicia of seriousness, “Forty, huh? You know what that means, Zimmerman. It’s time to re-take your firearms training. Maybe driving too. Make sure you’re not slipping as an old man. A man’s aim is the first thing to go.”

“Fuck you,” Flip growled irritably. “I’m in better shape now than I was in my twenties.”

“It’s worse than I feared.” Bridges grinned. “Sometimes, the mind goes first.”

“Forty’s not all that old,” Stallworth came to Flip’s defense. “For a tree or a tortoise.”

“Don’t let me catch you trying to get little blue pills off any trafficking suspects.” Bridges waved a finger at Flip. “I’ve had to write up more old farts for that in this department than you want to know.”

“Not one of my complaints.” Flip smirked. “You sound like you have some personal experience in that department, Chief.”

“I’m glad you’re a cocky sonofabitch, Zimmerman. And a ladies man. It makes this part of the job a helluva lot more fun for me,” Bridges said and Flip’s smirk melted away. “A ladies man is just what the doctor ordered for this sting. Turns out our jewel thief is a broad! Can you believe it? Word says she’s going to the event at the Broadmoor tonight and she’ll be wearing a black dress. All you have to do is sidle up to her, blow whatever smoke up her ass you need to, and get her to waltz right out of the party with you and up to the room we have setup. Stallworth will be there to help make the arrest in case you need backup. You think you’ll need a hand putting handcuffs on a woman once you get her into your bedroom?”

“I can’t fuckin’ do that and you know it!” Flip exclaimed angrily, on the verge of shouting. “I’m already in deep shit with the little woman over comin’ in at all today, and you think I’m gonna go out to a party and then bring some floozy back to a hotel room? I’ll do stupid things in the line of duty, but that’s a death sentence. No fuckin’ way.”

“Scared of a dame, are you, Zimmerman?” Bridges poked.

“I’m scared of the one I have at home,” Flip huffed indignantly. “I’d be a fool not to be. She’d string you up right alongside me, Chief. Find someone else. Ron’s single.”

“Our thief’s a tall gal. A woman won’t be interested in a man who’s shorter than she is, now will she? You’re the only man in the department who’ll be taller than her in heels.” Bridges looked at Stallworth and shrugged. “There’s a height requirement on this ride, and Ron’s several inches too short.”

“Just put a tail on her and grab her when she goes to the ladies room,” Flip suggested. “Easy.”

“If you haven’t noticed, the CSPD has been written up in the paper about once a month this whole year. All you overeager assholes making scenes and causing property damage during arrests,” Bridges chided both men, who had each been featured prominently in various articles. “The last thing I need is some big public scene at the Broadmoor to kick off the holiday season. Do you think this is a fucking negotiation, Zimmerman?”

“There wouldn’t be any negotiation if I told you to shove it up your ass along with my badge and gun,” Flip grunted, thinking that his job was interfering too much in his enjoyment of life.

“What else are you qualified to do? Public relations? Customer service?” Bridges laughed. “Being shacked up with a high-power lawyer the way you are, you should thank me every day for this job. You think a dame like that is gonna want some unemployed grumpy sonofabitch keeping her couch from running away. I got news for you, Zimmerman, cabana boys are about fifteen or twenty years younger than you.”

“Nope, I’ll go over to the dark side.” Flip smirked again. “The Feds have been houndin’ me pretty hard lately.”

“You’re getting to be a crotchety bastard in your old age,” Bridges said dismissively. He patted Flip on the back as he started toward his office. “Quit your bitching moaning and go get the job done. The faster you get it done, the faster you can be back home with your wife.”

“Sometimes I envy those whiny bastards who call in for their birthdays,” Flip groaned to Stallworth when they were alone.

“Too late for that now,” Stallworth said brightly. “Man up.”

“Manning up has never been a problem for me.” Flip glared at him and sat down heavily in his chair.

“What happened there?” Stallworth eyed the scratches you had left on Flip’s neck, pulling his shirt collar back to get a better look. “Are you being abused? Do you need a safe house interview? Was there some animal control problem with a bobcat I missed over the weekend?”

“I guess I’ve still got it,” Flip said proudly.

“Wow, and you left her on your birthday to come down here for me?” Stallworth batted his eyes and teased, “I can’t tell you how much that means to me. I feel like that’s a big step in our relationship.”

“She already calls you my work wife.” Flip shook his head. “Watch your ass, rookie, or there’s gonna be some domestic violence in our relationship.” Flip slumped in his chair, highly unamused and gestured for Ron to get on with it.

“Want me to talk slow when I go over this, old timer?” Stallworth teased, holding the casefile.

“Not in the fuckin’ mood.” Flip glared at his friend, not teasing at all. He snatched the file from Stallworth and slapped it down open on his desk. He was going to get this shit over with as fast as humanly possible. He retrieved a pair of glasses with large lenses and tortoise rims from his shirt pocket, a new addition to his wardrobe. He only recently capitulated to wearing them on occasion. But only for reading. He narrowed his eyes at Stallworth in anticipation. “Not a fuckin’ word.”

Before Flip could take in much on the first page, a commotion from the front of the station drew his attention. An argument and raised voices along with the shuffling of papers, all boded nothing good in a police station. Flip shoved up from his desk and hurried to see the cause of the uproar. Several officers argued with a fat little man who was so short Flip could only see the shiny top of his greasy bald scalp hovering chest level to the average sized officers around him. Dan Goldleaf was a private investigator who served papers in his spare time, one of the lowest forms of ilk to a cop, just above pedophiles and traffickers. Worst of all, the human shitstain worked for most of the defense lawyers in town.

When Flip approached the unruly spectacle, the trollish man excitedly waved the papers in his hand. He was gelatinously fat, and his whole body jiggled with the movement. He flashed a golden smile as he waddled to Flip. He pushed the papers into Flip’s chest and announced, “Here ya go, Zimmerman!” Quick as a ferret, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of Flip holding the papers in a clenched fist, a deadly glare on his face. Goldleaf straightened to his full height of around five feet and popped the lapels of his brown jacket, crackling a fresh mustard stain. The gaudy gold rings on every fat sausage finger glittered in the fluorescent lights. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

Flip wanted to squish the greasy troll like a slug, but there were too many witnesses for that now. He looked at the crumpled papers he held in his fist and backed to the wall until his back was pressed against it. It kept him from pacing like a caged animal. He had been served with a formal looking document consisting of several pages. The papers had been sent by the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe. It began with:

CANDICE GOODING,

Petitioner,

Vs.

PHILIP ZIMMERMAN,

Respondent.

VERIFIED PETITION TO ESTABLISH PATERNITY

COMES NOW the Petitioner, Candice Gooding, by and through undersigned counsel, Rob Cheatum, and in support of her Verified Petition STATES THE FOLLOWING:

“Christ, it’s a fuckin’ paternity suit from some bitch named Candice Gooding. Says she has a five-year-old kid and it’s mine! She’s comin’ after me for goddamn child support,” Flip gritted through clenched teeth. Every muscle in his body contracted and he shook with rage. He wanted to break something, or at least punch through a wall. He managed to grate out, “I don’t even know this bitch!”

“Candice Gooding,” Stallworth said slowly, enunciating every syllable, as if speaking to an idiot. “That doesn’t ring any bells?”

“It sure as hell doesn’t!” Flip was fuming, his chest flushed hot.

“What else could she call herself?” Stallworth mused, pretending to consider the issue. “Candy maybe?” Slowly, the red flush drained from Flip’s face until he was unusually pale. “Candy Goodie, maybe? Ring any bells now? Wasn’t she an ex-girlfriend some five, six years ago?”

“Motherfucker,” Flip groaned. He suddenly felt very old, as if he had aged a decade on his birthday. He leaned against the wall and knocked his head back against it roughly, as if he could bang some sense into his younger self. “She wasn’t my goddamn girlfriend, and you know it. She was just a slutty little cocktail waitress whose big dream in life was to be a stripper in Vegas where she could make the ‘big bucks.’ She was hot and easy and I fucked her a few times when I was hard up. Big deal. Any port in a storm, you know? Every girl I banged when I was footloose and fancy free wasn’t a girlfriend.”

“Guess you should have used some rubber to weather that particular storm,” Stallworth quipped, studying the papers more closely. “That candy must have been good if you went back for seconds.”

“Fuck you, buddy,” Flip said, really and truly wanting to punch something now.

“Better call your wife,” Stallworth suggested.

A look of pure terror flashed across Flip’s face for an instant before he could mask it. “Don’t you dare call her. Or tell her anything about this at all! Christ, you want to get me killed?”

“She’s a lawyer. Who do you think will be handling this for you?” Stallworth tried unsuccessfully to be helpful.

“Just haul me out back and shoot me now. Get it over with quick.” Flip dropped his head into his hands, shaking his head. “She can’t know a thing about this until I figure it out.”

*******************************************************************************************

“Hey, Sugar,” Flip crooned into the phone when you answered. “I was thinkin’ that since I have to get dressed up and put on the ritz tonight that you could get all dolled up too like you like and meet me after. I’ll take you out on the town and show you a real nice time.”

“I’m not in the mood,” you said, your tone told him you were far from appeased. “I thought you decided we were working today. And tonight.”

Flip had called while he was changing into his suit, a black one with a button up shirt in a dark shade of charcoal. He realized you had picked out one of your favorites for him that morning and it made him feel even guiltier. A nice suit usually had the effect of making him feel dashing, now it felt like he was dressing for his own funeral. Maybe I am, he thought to himself with a rueful smirk. Aloud, he said, “I know you’re mad as hell, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. I love you, sugar.”

“I’m on the clock, Flip,” you said sternly. “Something you know a lot about, right? We’ll catch up later. Whenever that might be.”

*******************************************************************************************

On the drive to the Broadmoor Stallworth informed Flip, “I called a clerk I know at the court who can verify the paternity suit on a Sunday. It’s real.”

“It’s like all my birthday wishes are comin’ true.” Flip glared out of the window, particularly eyeing the couples walking down the street, having a much better evening than he was.

Stallworth had informed Flip of all the details of their sting, how the event was in a private room of the Broadmoor, how they had booked a suite under the name of Frank Zeiss, a cover name Flip often used. All Flip had to do was find the mark, lure her up to the suite, and help Ron make the arrest. Flip didn’t even want credit. He wanted to forget everything about this day and pretend his fortieth birthday was limited to the nearly perfect Friday and Saturday he spent with his girl. Before he had to leave on call. Why in the fuck did he have to answer his damned phone this morning?

Flip stopped in at the hotel bar before seeking out the private event room. He needed a drink for this shit. He ordered an Old Fashioned and swirled the tawny liquid around in his glass. He thought of the way you always laughed at him like he was an idiot instead of suave when he tied the cherry stem in a knot with his tongue for your amusement.

As he thought of you, to his horror, you walked into the bar and aimed right for him. Wearing a sultry blue dress that hugged your curves in all the best places, he thought his girl had never looked like more of a knockout. But…

“What the hell are you doin’ here?!” Flip grabbed your arm when you got close to the bar and yanked you to him.

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said with only a hint of warning in your tone.

“I’m glad you’ve retracted your claws a bit from earlier,” Flip said in a quick, agitated voice. “But it’s not nice to see you. Not now, not here.”

“If you’re here looking for someone, shouldn’t you have your glasses on, old man?” you teased.

“Watch it, sugar.” Flip stepped closer to you until your bodies were nearly touching. “This old man was still goin’ strong when you threw in the towel last night.”

“Nice suit.” You ignored him and ran your eyes over his body. “You clean up alright.”

“This isn’t a game.” Flip fought to keep his voice low. “You could get us both hurt.”

“So serious,” you chided dismissively and placed a hand on his chest. It was endearing how nervous he was at the concern for your safety. A bead of sweat ran down from his temple. “Relax, handsome. All you have to do is stand there and look pretty, right?”

“Funny,” Flip said edgily. “Now get the hell outta here and I’ll call you when I’m done. I don’t want to be distracted by you and I don’t want you mixed up in all this.”

“Actually, I wanted to find you sooner rather than later because I got a call from a colleague. It made me think you might be in some kind of trouble.” You watched him closely as you spoke. “Or should I say, opposing counsel. A lawyer named Rob Cheatum.”

Oh, fuck. Flip’s mouth went dry and he fought to keep his expression stern and to give nothing away. “Must be important for him to call you on a Sunday.”

“Actually, he called me Friday after work. But unlike you, I followed the rules you wanted for your birthday and didn’t look at my phone until I was driving in today. That’s when I saw it. He said he’s representing some woman in a case against you.” You looked straight into his eyes. “What the fuck is he talking about, Flip?”

“Sounds like some bloodsucker out to sue the department again,” he deflected unpersuasively. “Isn’t that how you people get in the holiday spirit, by drumming up business?”

“Oh my god, don’t tell me you lost your temper and punched a suspect again,” you sighed exasperatedly. “It gets old seeing your name in the paper.”

“We all know the only animals worse than lawyers are reporters.” Flip looked around, scanning for his suspect. “All the more reason for you to get outta here until I get this thing wrapped up. You don’t want to be included in a cover story with me when I cause a scene at this party, do you?”

“I can see it now.” You spread your hands like a banner. “Grouchy old man snaps at the younger crowd out having fun.”

“I sure don’t love you for your mouth, sugar.” Flip shook his head. He saw a tall woman in a black dress walking purposefully and fixed his eyes on her like a hunting dog. But there were several women in view wearing black dresses. And what was tall, anyway? The woman was probably five-eight, although heels always threw him off. Was that tall enough to be described as very tall? Probably not. Flip had been staring at her while running these mental calculations.

“Like what you see?” you asked, more to poke him than anything. You knew he was here under the guise of working.

“Not particularly. I’d give her a seven at best,” Flip gritted out of the corner of his mouth. “I’ve got a helluva lot better at home.”

“Speaking of, how long until the woman you’ve got at home is going to get some time with you?” you asked.

“Not long.” He shrugged.

“Not an answer, Detective,” you quipped.

Flip knew you only called him Detective when you were feeling flirty or feeling as mad as a wet cat. He knew which this was. Best to remain silent, he concluded.

“You’re here to grab some suspect, a woman, I gather from your roaming eyes,” you accused and Flip’s eyes darted immediately back to you, a little wider than usual. “You’re getting served papers from strange women, too. Is this some half-assed midlife crisis? Is it time for you to embarrass yourself trying to pick up eighteen-year-olds in a new convertible?”

“Whoa, pump the brakes on the crazy train.” Flip held up his hands in surrender. “I’m innocent until proven guilty.”

“Oh, you think this is a democracy?” you scoffed. “I don’t think so. This is a monarchy, and all ways here are the Queen’s ways.”

“I’ll tell you all about it later. I promise.” Flip tried a calming tone that had zero effect. “Just let me find this woman and then we can get outta here.”

“Fine.” You put your hands on your hips.

“Don’t fine me, darlin.’” Flip mocked your posture, also putting his hands on his hips. “I know what fine means.”

“This is ridiculous. I’ll find this damn woman in black myself.” You turned on your heel and walked away.

Flip took a bounding step after you and grabbed your arm roughly, stopping you. “You’re making a fuckin’ scene.”

“Is this guy bothering you, miss?” The bartender asked, a clear warning in his voice.

You looked at Flip’s hand where he gripped your arm and cocked an eyebrow. Flip slackened his grip and you yanked your arm free. You strode purposely through the bar and toward the series of the Broadmoor event rooms. You looked over your shoulder once just to make sure Flip was following you. He was, of course, walking stiffly a few paces behind with his shoulders set and eyes narrowed, looking ready and eager to bust some heads. The hotel was crowded with holiday traffic and you both knew he couldn’t grab you again without making an even bigger scene.

At the door to the private room, Flip caught you again, grabbing the door handle in front of you and pinning you close with his body from behind. To an observer, it might look affectionate but his body was rigid against you and his tone angry, “This isn’t the time or place for you to act like a goddamn prima donna. Knock it off.”

“Just think, all this because you had to answer Ron’s call this morning.” You grinned and before he had time to process the implications of your words, you pushed his hand down on the door handle and leaned into it.

Flip stumbled into the event room right at your back, a little off balance and fuming.

“Surprise!” A chorus of voices shouted inside the room.

Flip was nearly stunned by the cacophony of light and movement and shouting assholes inside the room. He stood, still gawkily positioned mid-stumble, blinking like a deer in the headlights. There were sparkly lights and girly decorations done in black and gold, and a table set with a giant cake and a few buckets of champagne. Music blared noisily from somewhere. All his traitorous friends smiled at him, Stallworth leading the charge of ingrates. Festive lights even shimmered on the greasy dome of Goldleaf’s head. The group of traitors yelled “Surprise!” again and then broke into a terrible round of Happy Birthday. Flip straightened and smoothed a hand over his suit, trying to look dignified while feeling like an absolute jackass for falling for this shit.

There was little Flip hated more in life than surprise parties. He forced a smile and thought that maybe it wasn’t as bad as those times he’d been shot. But no. The first time, he’d gotten some really good drugs. The second time, he got six weeks off and left the hell alone. The third time had given him one of your favorite scars that made him feel even tougher than he was. No, a surprise party was far worse than getting shot.

Flip squared his shoulders and put on his game face, steeling himself to endure a long night of socializing. He pulled you to his side just a little roughly and joined his own birthday party.

*******************************************************************************************

“That party must have cost a fortune,” Flip bemoaned. “I hope you didn’t foot the bill just to torture me.”

“Not a dime, actually. The owner of the Broadmoor is a client. Or rather, his son on his eighth DWI is,” you said nonchalantly. “He’s innocent, of course. Or rather, he will be once I’m done with him.”

Flip made a noncommittal grunt, still in the throes of post-party-trauma.

“He also threw in a free suite.” You looped your arm through Flip’s and steered him toward the elevators. “I’m sure you’ll like it more.”

The suite was equipped with a private balcony and hottub for guests who liked to enjoy the snowy alpine winters along with a steaming soak and a glass of wine. Flip held the door open for you like a perfect gentleman before slamming it closed behind him after following you inside. He held you at arm’s length when you tried to close the distance between you.

“I need a shower. I’ve been sweatin’ bullets all day thanks to you.” His lips were poutier than usual as he unbuttoned his shirt. Shrugging roughly out of it, he balled it up in his hands and threw it into the furthest corner of the room. Flip paused to glare at the shirt where it landed on the floor and huff a few breaths before storming into the bathroom as he unbuckled his belt. The slam of the bathroom door reverberated through the room when he kicked it closed. He continued to grumble and cuss under his breath inside the bathroom. The few words you could make out seemed to be in vehement criticism of birthdays and surprise parties and pondering the eternal question of just how much bullshit one man can take.

Smiling to yourself at his grouchiness, you decided to wait for him in the hottub on the balcony. Steaming jets and your warm touch would be just the ticket to turn his anger into something a lot more enjoyable for you both.

As you peeled your own clothes away, you could still hear him bitching from inside the bathroom and it made you grin. The icy air hit you when you stepped naked out onto the balcony. Goosebumps rose across your skin, breath fogged from your lips, and your nipples peaked instantly at the chill as you quickly covered the few steps to the hottub. The crisp winter air made the hot water even more welcoming, and a cloud of steam surrounded you when you lowered yourself into the bubbling water. Leaning your head back against the edge of the hottub, you felt all the tension leaving your body as you waited for Flip.

“I’m out here,” you called when you heard him emerge. “Come keep me company.”

Flip’s face and chest were still flushed from the heat of his shower when he walked onto the balcony, scowling. Pausing to linger in the doorway, towel slung around his hips, he leaned against the doorframe. He had to fight to keep his face stern as he looked down at your bare curves sitting tantalizingly amid the steam.

“You’re not bad lookin’ for a double agent,” he told you, sucking at his teeth.

“Evil machinations are much easier when you’re pretty,” you teased and beckoned him to join you with a curled finger. “Don’t just stand there gawking about it, handsome.”

His scowl turned into something far more devilish as he tossed his towel back into the room and lowered himself into the hottub beside you. Slinging one arm behind you along the rim of the hottub, Flip wasted no time in pulling you close. Beside you, he turned to kiss your cheek, to nuzzle his nose softly against your skin along your jaw before he moved his lips to the place below your ear. Inhaling your scent, he began to lose himself in you. His kisses drifted to your neck and turned more biting and heated when you raised your hand to stroke his cheek.

“I’m sure sorry for takin’ that call,” he mumbled against your skin.

“Are you?” you asked with a laugh. “We’ll see if you learn anything from it.”

“I’m a quick learner.” Flip couldn’t help but laugh as his hand trailed up your thigh.

Turning into him, you met his lips while he teased you with his fingers. Flip kissed you hungrily, his lingering anger coming out in his eager tongue licking into your mouth, his teeth clicking against yours, and his thick fingers pushing into you.

“We’re not done celebrating yet,” you whispered into his kiss. “Your real birthday present is that I took next week off and arranged with the chief to note you as staking out a cabin for the week.”

He laughed when you told him the location, “That’s our address.”

“Is it really?” you feigned ignorance. “I’d call it a paid vacation on the taxpayers. As someone who gets shafted by Uncle Sam almost as often as I get it from you, I see no problem at all.”

“I thought you had work tomorrow?” Flip asked, looking at you with deep lusting respect.

“You thought so, yes,” you teased. “I’m off too.”

“So, you have to put me through the ringer first to earn it, huh?” He nipped your neck.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a grouchy bastard, you wouldn’t invite being screwed with, hmmm?” You twisted your fingers into his hair. “But we’ll never know.”

“A surprise party is playin’ dirty,” he said against your neck. “That’s hittin’ below the belt.”

“Funny thing is that I agree with you.” You tugged his hair sharply enough for it to be a reprimand. “Ron badly wanted to throw you a surprise party for your fortieth. I told him that I was giving you what you really wanted for the weekend, and that you would absolutely hate a surprise party. After a debate, Ron and I agreed that if he could entice you away from me today, he could inflict his surprise party upon you and I’d help lure you into it. It was insultingly easy for him, I might add. I really thought he’d have a harder time. So, I think it’s only fair to make you suffer a little on top of it. Serves you right for leaving me for your work wife.”

“So, you all gang up on me, huh? Wonderful.” He grinned. “You almost gave me a heart attack with that fuckin’ paternity horseshit. You arranged that awfully fast.”

“I thought it was nice icing on the cake,” you grinned back. “How long do you think it takes me to type a paternity petition? Fifteen minutes tops. Goldleaf is always happy to screw with you and so is Cheatum. A good time had by all. And just think, you chose all this.” You gestured grandly to encompass the enormity of the shitshow Flip had gotten himself into, “instead of staying shut in in bed with me all day.”

“I’ll never answer my phone again unless it’s you,” Flip huffed a laugh.

Deciding he had suffered enough for now, you slung your leg over his lap to straddle him. His cock was already deliciously hard and ready for you when you sank down onto him. No matter how many times he fucked you, it was always wonderfully intense before you adjusted to accommodate him. Flip’s hands smoothed down your sides, caressing you gently now before his fingers would grip bruises into you as you rode him. He kissed your neck and rolled his hips beneath you, groaning in that heady way of his when he was losing himself in the pleasure of your body.

The water sloshed in the hottub and steam whirled around you both as he fucked an orgasm out of you and followed you down into a warm, blissful afterglow. After several moments, cock still buried inside of you, he kissed your neck a few final times and raised his head to look at you with a satisfied grin.

“I hope this birthday was one to remember, old timer,” you teased as you moved your hands to rub the knots in his broad shoulders. “Forty’s a big one.”

“I really hate birthdays,” was his only grumbled response.

“Spoken just like a grumpy old man,” you said amid a fresh stream of soft laughter.

“Real funny, sugar.” Flip nipped at your skin before pulling you close again for round two. “Happy fuckin’ birthday to me.”

*******************************************************************************************

Tagging some buddies!

@babbushka @in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather @mrs-gucci @mrs-zimmerman @iamburdened @gabesprincess @rynwritesstuff @candycanes19 @caillea @cas-backwards-tie @queeniebee @mythrielofsolitude @ghoulian13 @icarusinthesea @reyloaddict55 @fizzywoohoo @heartlight-starlight @richbrittstein @clydesfavoritegirl @thepalaceofmelanie @celiholland @reveluving @vedavan @reylokisses @queen-of-elves @srorgana1 @kyloremus @looking4mymagicshop @lumberjack00fantasies

#birthday bash #best #fic #my stuff!#my writing #flip #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman x you #winter

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okilokiwithpurpose · 11 months ago

Text

Here comes a Gigolas AU for your consideration:

Arranged Marriage AU with a twist - the twist being that both Legolas and Gimli's parents are opposed to said marriage (sorry if it already exist!! i tried!).

Let me explain: to mend the relationships between Elves and Dwarves, some sort of High Council decides a wedding is the best option and, given their respective ages, the importance of their families and who knows how many other criteria, Gimli and Legolas are considered the best candidates. Glóin and Thranduil are absolutely opposed to it. Gimli and Legolas are not that keen on the idea either, but they decide to accept nonetheless (for the "Greater Good" and all that). This could include:

Their parents trying until the last minute to dissuade them

The awkward first meeting on the Wedding Day

The awkward first days/weeks not knowing what to talk about

The walking on eggshells, the stiff politeness, and the first time one of them let it all out that "they never asked to be there" and "they wish someone else had been chosen to play this farce."

Then getting to know each other, getting more comfortable around each other, slowly moving on from averse strangers to easy acquaintances (...to friends?)

Tasting each other's food - some they may be surprise to actually enjoy, other...not so much (and the visible effort to pretend t's "fine" or "very interesting" making the other laugh)

Gimli introducing drinking games to Legolas - and being amazed by Legolas' ability to hold his drink. Legolas discovering dwarven ale and Gimli discovering elven wine.

Gimli gifting/making jewelry for Legolas out of shining stones and the finest gold and silver (maybe trying to get inspiration from elven jewelry or going for a composite style)

each getting impressed by the other's fighting abilities (in training or on field)

Gimli admitting he does appreciate the softness of elven silk

Legolas admitting the deep harmony of dwarven songs captivate him

Both of them starting to properly enjoy their companionship and starting to fall in love

The time it takes them to come to realise it, and discover the feeling is mutual

How hard it becomes for each of them to visit/have relatives visiting and having to hear their friends and family pity them for "having to live with such a vile/disgusting/untrustworthy creature"

How bewildered Glóin/Thranduil get when their sons one day snaps at them, because "This is my husband you're talking about!!"

The decision a self conscious Gimli may once make to "accommodate his looks", using product to make his hair smother, straighter, his skin softer, changing his clothes (and maybe even -gasp- shaving his beard?), in an attempt to appear more desirable from an elve standpoint - and Legolas answering he finds Gimli beautiful with both looks, but that he prefers the one Gimli feels comfortable with

The inevitable schemes from people this wedding inconveniences (for political, cultural or personal reasons) who wish to separate them and are furious to see how close those two have become...

...and if they can't manage to pull them apart figuratively, they would have to go for a more literal type of separation (that is to say: abduction...or worse)

Gloin or Thranduil lowkey rejoicing that his son-in-law has been removed from the equation (which doesn't mean they have anything to do with it), for it means his son his free!

Gloin or Thranduil who also doesn't understand his son's eagerness to find and bring their spouse back, and how sad and broken they appear to be... (maybe both can finally come to realise how important Gimli and Legolas have become for each other and help in order for their sons to be happy!)

#lotr #gigolas #legolas #gimli #other #t

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cellarspider · 9 months ago

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8/30 Seek and Destroy

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to the movie that I wish to spin in a centrifuge until it separates into layers of its constituent parts, Prometheus.

Content warning for desecration of a dead body, continuing bumblefuck destruction of alien artifacts, and David being the adversarial two year old that he literally is.

Before we begin: Have you turned off Tumblr’s latest “feature”, which opens your account up to AI data harvesting? If not: do it! Log in from a web browser (the app doesn’t have this checkbox yet), go to “Blog Settings”, scroll down to “Visibility”, and turn on “Prevent third-party sharing for [BLOG NAME]”. Do this for each blog you have. Do it. Do it now. Tell your friends, it’s the hot new thing. Run free into the wilderness. This message will repeat whenever I feel like it.

Anyway, on with the show.

David is the most prepared crew member. While nobody else seems to have a single clue between their ears and most of the crew wasn’t even briefed prior to setting out, David has been studying for the past two years, treating language as a puzzle. He’s going to take what he learned and apply it to anything he finds in the alien complex.

And he will apply it whenever the mood takes him, because he is, again, two years old. That was the sense I got in the theater–he finds things he can mess with, and does so without hesitation or consultation with the humans. And while my instincts were still screaming that they shouldn’t even have landed yet, his behavior was the only one that made sense. He has been taught that he is only wanted when he’s useful. He has not been taught to keep his hands to himself. He figures the place out faster than the humans, and he seems pleased with himself for doing so. Therefore, he’s going to do so as much as possible.

As a result, we watch the cast act like screeching gibbons over a hologram. David had begun prodding at marks on the wall that look suspiciously like cuneiform (I’ll rant about it later), and he turned on a hologram projector. Simian crew noises ensue.

Those in the audience who are in the know are also expected to begin screeching excitedly at this point. The hallways they’re in are already taking on H. R. Giger’s signature biomechanical style. These holograms are showing us eight foot tall beings similar to his Space Jockey design.

The Space Jockey, named as such by the Alien production team, was one of those mysterious things about the original movie. Fused to what might have been the helm of the ship, seemingly alone with a hold full of carefully-arranged xenomorph eggs, and long-dead from a chestburster that had infected it. It set a warning signal before its death, misinterpreted by the crew of the Nostromo.

The movie never explained what the Space Jockey had been doing. Was this a cargo ship? A weapon? Was xenomorph reproduction somehow linked to the Space Jockey lifestyle? Their religion? Absolutely no information was given, and thus depictions of the Space Jockeys in subsequent media were split on whether they were benevolent, malevolent, entirely indifferent toward others, or simply too alien to be understood.

Physically, it was a complicated design for Alien’s crew to pull off, even as a corpse. The studio didn’t want to budget for it, and Giger ended up putting in a lot of extra work to help finish the statue. To make it seem even bigger than it was, the children of Ridley Scott and cinematographer Derek Vanlint were put into miniature space suits to give a sense of titanic scale to the creature, three times their height.

Scott made the logistical decision in Prometheus to scale these beings down significantly, purely for the difficulty in setting up shots and creating more sets scaled to this thing. It’s understandable, but I know some people are disappointed by it. As are others by the obvious implication you first get in this scene: the Space Jockey’s truly bizarre appearance is simply some sort of suit, worn by the far more humanoid aliens already seen in Prometheus’ opening.

Normally, I might be among those disappointed by that. I love monsters dearly, if my blog doesn’t give that away already. But there is a minimum threshold for inhuman features that the Engineers still meet for me. Something about the eyes and the uncanny look of their skin, both of which were deliberate choices by Ridley Scott and Neal Scanlan, the film’s creature designer who started with the Henson Company on movies like The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and has worked on the new Star Warses, including the absolutely fantastic Andor. Even in behind-the-scenes shots, they manage to look just odd enough to be pleasing to me.

(https://www.deviantart.com/pretty--kittie/art/Prometheus-Engineer-407324586)

I respect the design work that went into it and I like the final result, though I am very sympathetic to those who felt that this was an unnecessary explanation for a creature that was a more powerful symbol when it had no explanation.

Talking about such things is my happy place, and unfortunately we have to go back to The Bad Place now. The characters.

They find an alien corpse decapitated by a door (the great goddess O’Sha is most displeased), and within two minutes they’re sticking a meat thermometer in it.

Fifield the geologist has a panic attack, which is pretty relatable.

“Look, I'm just a geologist. I like rocks. I love! rocks!

Now it's clear you two don't give a shit about rocks.”

He’s right and he should say it. They should still be orbiting the planet looking for artificial structures, and Fifield should be having fun doing an aeromagnetic survey or something.

But no. Meat thermometer. Sorry, “carbon reader”. Says the body’s been dead about two thousand years. They have just punched a hole in the first alien body they’ve ever found, to get precisely one data point. This is what is called a “destructive analysis.”

Destructive analysis is a technical term, so let me define it: You know how a team just read the text inside of a charcoalized lump that used to be a Roman scroll? How they didn’t destroy anything in the scroll to do that? How we might be on a path to getting so many ancient texts it could radically reshape our understanding of the period, and all it will take is some fancy x-ray scans and computers? The opposite of that. Think the opposite of that.

I’m going to go on a tangent out of pure spite and desire to educate. Carbon dating is complicated. There’s two isotopes (types) of carbon: Carbon 14 and carbon 12. C-14 is very, veeeery slightly radioactive, which means it will eventually burp out a little subatomic particle and turn into the non-radioactive Nitrogen 14. C-14 is mostly created in our atmosphere, so once something’s dead and in the ground, it’s not gaining any more C-14, it’s slowly turning into N-14.

We know how long C-14 takes to turn into N-14, it’s about 50,000 years to lose all but 0.2% of the original C-14. If you know how much C-14 something should start with, then you can take a look at how much C-14 your sample actually has, and you can calculate how long it’s been dead. Here’s a quick explainer from Scientific American to visually summarize this.

youtube

Now, the more complicated part. You have to know the starting conditions if you want to be accurate. You have to calibrate everything, because the amount of C-14 available in an environment can change over time. We have ways of doing this, but it usually means carefully studying the environment and other clues.

So if you were to actually find carbon-based alien corpses on an alien planet, you’d need to identify the atmospheric carbon isotope ratio, and then you’d be able to make a sketchy, poorly-calibrated estimation, that could be wildly off by a large margin. A critter that did a lot of traveling in its life would be especially hard to date, as you couldn’t be sure if it’d lived where you found it for long enough to take up the local C-14 levels.

In this case, their fancy meat thermometer might be plugged directly into the script, because the number they give is only about 60 years off the actual death date. How do I know this? Because of a thing I’m not saying yet.

That’s enough for this post right now. But I’m not done with this moment. I don’t like this moment, and I need to properly explain why. Next time.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Citations for alt-text rambles:

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemiluminescence 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piezoluminescence 3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triboluminescence 4. https://dedalvs.com/ 5. https://www.reddit.com/r/conlangs/

#prometheus 2012 #prometheus (2012)#The definition for destructive analysis is squishy #and based on the subject matter #but BREATHING on this stuff is destructive so #hooboy

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aliensandanxiety · 2 months ago

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Coloured art of my Jojo OC Florian and his stand Savage Garden.

Full character bio under the cut cause I just love him and want the world to appreciate him. I know I did a brief one before but I've finalised him 😅

Full name: Florian De Locke

Nickname: Flori

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Gay

Birthday: April 4th 1999 (age 25)

Born: Amsterdam, the Netherlands

Height: 178cm

Weight: 75kg

Occupation: Florist

Hobbies: Raising carnivorous plants, painting, baking.

Favourite Colour: Yellow

Favourite Flower: Tulips

Distinguishing Accessories: Plasters on fingers and face due to being clumsy handling thorned plants, Jacob's Ladder earrings, daisy brooch, embroidered sunflowers on dungaree legs, arm warmers.

Namesake: Smashing Pumpkins song 'Cupid de Locke'

🌷🌷🌷

Florian is a florist who has had a stand as long as he can remember, he has always been interested in botany since a young age and started working initally as a flower delivery boy in Amsterdam when he was growing up in the Netherlands. He now has his own flower shop and lives in a small apartment above it with his roommate Matteo who owns the record shop next door to his florist (I'll get to him eventually).

Florian is quite timid by personality and does not like confrontation. He has a tendency to undersell his products at times as he does not wish to argue with customers. He is also very kind hearted and has a bad habit of doing things such a funeral flowers for free.

He can be a pessimist at times and tends to overanalyse situations. However, he has a strong sense of morality and always acts to help someone weaker than him or those he loves without his usual hesitancy.

🌻🌻🌻

Florian's Stand- Savage Garden

Savage Garden is a humanoid, long ranged Stand. It's primary method of attack is using branches and vines to grip foes, similarly to Hermit Purple or Hierophant Green. It can also use its hands to emit a sweet scent similar to a pitcher plant which makes people feel safe and at ease. Florian prefers to use this when his friends are hurt or scared as opposed to offensively.

It's main ability is that it can touch plants and take on qualities of the plants it touches. Examples are:

Sunflowers - It will move quickly toward sources of light at speeds surpassing it's usual.

Roses - Gains thorned vines which can be used to inflict damage.

Horse Chesnut Tree - Gains spiked armour

Dandelion - Becomes light and able to float on air currents.

Stinging Nettle - Emits a poison that causes rashes and itching on contact.

It's limitation lies in the fact there must be a plant nearby for it to gain its qualities. It can be used for healing depending what plants it touches. It also functions poorly in bad weather and at night as plants need the sun.

🪻🪻🪻

Hope that sums him up ☺️ I've had a blast creating him. His inspiration all comes from the fact I love gardening, have silly amounts of houseplants and raise my own carnivorous plants 😂

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motleymunson27 · 1 year ago

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Surprise.

Sum: Chris popped the question and proposed to you on stage in front of hundreds of people.

Chris Motionless X Reader.

Content Warning: ALL THE FLUFF THERE IS!!

~~~~~~

The show was just about done, MIW was just finishing their show in Birmingham then would be heading to St Augustine two days later to continue the Trinity Of Terror tour.

It’s been both an amazing time but also kind of rough being on the road since the middle of March. The tour was set to end a bit before Christmas then the guys would be free until their next tour.

Of course, dating the lead singer of one of the four bands, and working as their makeup artist with the production team alongside your sister, Shevy—who was Ice Nine Kills’ makeup artist as well, you got to watch the concert from the side of the stage.

You certainly didn’t put up a fight. Watching your boyfriend from just a foot away from the stage would have sufficed, but watching from the side of the stage with your sister? Even better.

The show was coming to an end, the second last song Chris was set to sing was ‘Masterpiece’, and of course he sang it like a god.

Just before the last song, Chris had something to announce to the crowd.

“As much as I love this last song, I have one thing I need to do before it goes on,” he began, turning around towards the stage entry where you were standing next to Shevy. “I’d like to ask my beautiful girlfriend to come up here really quick.”

Confused, and suddenly very nervous, you slowly trekked onto the stage on very shaky legs. You had no clue what was going on, because this was the first time Chris ever requested you to come on stage with him.

Once you were standing next to him, Chris turned back towards the audience. “For those of you who don’t know, this beautiful thing has somehow managed to put up with me for the last 7 damn years,” he chuckled, causing you to shove him back slightly. “And everyday for the last 7 damn years, Y/n has been nothing but amazing. She’s always thought very carefully deciding when she wants to do things. She’s always been supportive of everyone around her and has definitely been supportive about being on the road for the past very long time that we don’t care to count out. I seriously can’t ask for a better girlfriend or a better makeup artist. She’s smart, she’s kind, and she’s damn beautiful. Seriously, I have no clue how she’s put up with me for so long, but what I’m about to do is really going to trap her with me.”

You only grew more confused as Chris continued his little speech.

“This is something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while so while I have everyone’s attention, I’d like to ask her a very, very important question,” Chris paused, stepping back from you just a little bit…

Before kneeling down onto one knee.

Your hands were immediately cupped over your mouth as your jaw fell slack. The crowd immediately started screaming as Chris knelt down.

From behind you, you could hear everyone in production, the other three bands and Chris’ band mates shouting and whistling.

Chris looked up at you, wide smile on his face as he tried to find the right words to say and not to break out in tears. He needed to wait a minute before he could start crying.

“Y/n, baby, I knew from the second I looked into those gorgeous eyes that I knew I would be asking you this question at some point in our relationship whether we started dating or not, and I wish I would have asked a long time ago but I had a problem trying to find the perfect one and never knew when the time would come. I am thankful that the time has now come and that I have found the perfect piece to seal the deal. I promise to stand by your side when the world isn’t being nice. I promise to love you and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. I promise to be there for you for the rest of our time on earth, Til Death Do Us Part. I love you, and I am more than willing to rot in hell with you for the rest of my life. So I have to ask…”

Chris trailed off, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a tiny black coffin-shaped velvet box in his large tattooed hands, and presenting you with a beautiful white gold engagement ring holding a very beautiful black stone in the centre of it.

The band was shaped like tree branches holding the stone, which was also shaped like a coffin. And there was engraving on the inside that said ‘Til Death Do Us Part’.

“Will you marry me?” Chris asked, a silent line of tears streaming from his eyes, his stage makeup that you did for him now ruined from the happy tears, as the crowd continued screaming.

Tears. Automatic tears fell down your face as you immediately nodded your head, bringing every single person in the venue to start cheering and clapping as Chris immediately stood back up and pulled you into him for a kiss after he put the mic back on the stand, wrapping his hands around your waist as you wrapped yours around his neck.

You managed to break away from your now fiancé so he could put your ring on for you. And it fit perfectly.

It looked just as beautiful on as it did off.

“I love you, so much,” Chris whispered into your ear, his hands holding around your waist as he pulled you back into him, littering kisses all over your neck and face.

“I love you too,” you cried, hiding your face into Chris’ bright red jacket, trying to control the tears but eventually giving up. “I’m more than willing to rot in hell with you too, Til Death do us part,” you smiled, referencing the song that Chris wrote about you 6 years ago.

“Til Death do us part,” Chris smiled as he pressed another kiss on your lips before he grabbed his mic and turned to the crowd who was still screaming.

“This last song before all you beautiful people leave, I dedicate to my future wife,” Chris said to the crowd, turning back to you with one final kiss before letting you go back to where you were standing before.

God, that felt nice to be referred to as now.

Shevy immediately yanked you in for a tight hug as the band gave Chris all the high fives and half-hugs as their way of saying congrats, then started playing the beginning of ‘Eternally Yours’, which only made you shed more tears.

You didn’t see much of the beginning of the song as you were being pulled in for hugs from all around you.

You looked at your sister. “Did you know he was going to do this?” You asked, half of your face wet with tears as she nodded.

“I went shopping with him to help find the right size since we’re the same,” she laughed, tears dripping from her eyes at the sight of her sister so happy.

You were very happy. Who wouldn’t be happy if Chris Motionless asked you to marry him?

Multiple ‘Congratulations’ were being said as you turned back towards the floor, your future husband staring at you with the happiest smile as he sang, blowing you kisses as the iconic love song continued.

As soon as this tour was over, the wedding planning would begin. And you could not be happier.

#chris motionless #motionless in white #chris motionless x reader

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vibratingskull · 10 months ago

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Yandere!Thrawn x F!reader chapter 9

Yandere AU - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Tags : Yandere behaviors (duh), starday, negociation of bondaries

Thrawn opens his very special package and smiles to himself. It is quite hard to get those hormones, because they’re prohibited first off and after because they are an ingredient of the latest trendy hallucinogenic drugs on Coruscant. People kill for them.

For him they have the very neat effect of slowing down considerably the parathyroid hormone production, preventing a swiftly recovery of fractures and fissured bones. You don’t know it but he laced all your dishes with it, slowing down your recovery. You should take more than 10 weeks to recover instead of the standard 6 to 8 weeks. All of that is bonus time with you for him!

But he’s curious about the hallucinogenic effects too. He may try them on you as a reward or punishment, he doesn’t know yet. He dusts the powder on the icing of the cake.

Today is your starday! He would never forget such a date, he planned a nice dinner, a present and a romantic movie to watch together after. Or he will let you think you choose a romantic movie yourself, but he thought about it for several weeks ahead.

“(Y/n), it will be time to bathe you.” he announces to you with a stoic voice as he enters the bedroom, hiding his excitement. “Oh… Okay…” each evening you have the crazy hope you will escape it, each evening he undresses and massages your body meticulously to clean it. He knows you don’t like it, but you surrendered by now, you know, deep down, that you can’t escape him and so you stopped making it complicated for him. You’re not relaxed under his hands yet but it is easier now.

You curse that time of day while he can’t wait for it. Each evening he takes pleasure in choosing in which soap he will bathe you today, adding oils and perfume and special body cream to make your skin smooth (all under the pretenses it will ease the pain of your bruises of course.)

You’re suspicious of him of course. Who wouldn’t in your situation? That is why he takes care to not spend too much time on the erogenous zones of your body, despite his deepest wishes, and to clean your whole body thoroughly. He chooses modest garments to dress you, with just one slit here and there, nothing too suspicious. He washes your underwear that he steals from you regularly so you don’t notice them disappearing. He never touches you more than necessary, he might have just taken a handful of your plump thighs in his hands, but come one, he just needed to find a good grip on you to carry you!

One day you flatley refused to be bathed, plain and simple. You turned your back to him, crossing your arms. He was, of course, prepared for that eventuality. “May I know why?” He asked calmly but with authority, “Because this is terribly humiliating!” You exploded “You see me naked each and every day, I feel exposed and violated! And the way you touch me…”, “I do not remember touching you in an unreasonable way.” he says like he doesn’t see the problem and you are being the unreasonable one. You just shudder, “Yeah,I know. But still, this crosses my boundaries in so many ways! I would rather we stop.”

Like hell he will stop.

“I do not see the problem.” He flatly responds. “In the Ascendancy we bathe all together to strengthen the bonds between family members and friends in hot springs.” he recalls, a hand on his chin. That must be his most outrageous lie to date, “We are more modest here.” you counter “We do not show our naked body to simple friends.”, “I see.” he continues, “But I have a different view of modesty and nakedness than humans, we are not shy about it, we see it as a simple aspect of life and of a body. Nothing to be shy or embarrassed about. I have bathed naked with numerous female colleagues and friends before.” You slowly turn your head towards him with pursed lips, he tilts his head to you. “This is a very asexual activity for all of us, free of judgment and ambiguity.” It couldn’t be more false, Chiss are as conservative if not more than humans on that subject.

You look into his eyes to see if he is lying, as usual his gaze is clear and resolute and you can’t get any info out of it. You bite your lips, “Even if you say that, it doesn’t help the shame I feel.”, “The shame of what? Being vulnerable with a friend?”, “To be powerless! I’m an officer of the Empire and can’t do anything on my own right now!” you shout, annoyed. “(Y/n), this is a simple bad patch. You will heal and recover your power. You just need the assistance of a friend.”, “Well it is humiliating!”

“Would you have preferred a human colleague to do it instead of me?” He taunts, pretending to be compassionate. You remain silent, thinking. “No. In retrospect it is better if it’s you.” You admit “You wouldn’t… You would never take advantage of a situation. I trust you.”

And this, this is why you let him do it. Because he succeeded to convince you that he is better than this, that he is upright and a man of honesty that would never hand on a woman in any way shape or form. He is the ever the stoic Grand Admiral Thrawn after all, he is known to be brutally honest and direct. And that is true, to a certain extent. He would never take advantage of a situation over anybody, even his former partners. If one man would never be bothered and interested by such basic needs and desires, it’s him.

But they weren’t you. They didn’t have your perfection. They weren’t his darling… They didn’t obsess his mind like you do, plaguing him at all hours of the day and night.

You can’t see him behind you but he’s grinning at your words. How you blindly trust him, believing in his personna so fully, after all he mastered the mask for years. Not even Eli has the slightest idea of what is going on in his mind. All the emotions raging on behind the meticulously crafted aloof and disinterested expression, all the perverted fantasies that kept brewing within him since his younger age. How would you be able to see right through him?

He has some “mishaps” here and there but you make quick excuses for them because he is just above any suspicion. You never saw him hitting on someone, caressing someone, seeing any true inner desires appear through, he must be above baseless desires and romantic sentiments! He forces you to appear naked before him? His relationship to modesty and nakedness are fundamentally culturally different, what are you gonna do? Fly to the Ascendancy to check? He massages your naked body with body cream each evening? It is obviously to soothe your bruised skin, there is nothing weird here, why do YOU feel the need to make it weird? He helps you eat like a mother helps her young child, infantilising you? You’re in a cast, how do you expect to eat with dignity without your dominant hand? He joins you in bed each night, pressing your two bodies together like a couple would? You’re the one complaining it was cold in the first place, why are you always dissatisfied with the solutions he proposes?

He’s just trying to help you, why do you always feel the need to make it difficult for him? Him who takes time off his crowded Grand Admiral agenda just to help you. Aren’t you a spoiled and ungrateful woman to question his actions?

Every time you have a concern or a reluctance he looks at YOU like you're the crazy one, why looking into it? He raises an eyebrow, looking at you like an animal in a cage going in a frenzy, why are you always questioning his good intentions? Him who saved your life! How ungrateful can you be! He’s simply trying his best to help his friend, why give him bad intentions? Why look into his actions suspiciously? Him who forgave you your treachery. Isn’t he a saint to both forgive you AND helps you out of your misery? He’s not obligated to do that after all, if he’s fed up with your antics he could very well send you back to the med bay, at the mercy of your tormentors without any protection. How can you even doubt him? If we look at it he is the true victim between you two.

This is what you’re torturing yourself with each sleepless night, feeling his warm body pressed against your back. Rummining each and every little action like you’re the crazy one. All those gut wrenching doubts clashing with the proper and honest portrayal you have of him.

But that is what he wants you to do. To doubt your own feelings and very well justified fears. To lose grips on what is truly acceptable and what is obviously crossing a justified boundary.

So you let him do it… You stopped fighting and lowered your defenses. You just grit your teeth and suck it up while he takes his twisted pleasure in forcing you to submit. Tonight will be no exception. He lifts you off the bed and heads toward the bathroom.

Once this is done he dresses you in a fancy dress with sparkle and lace and not your usual pajamas. You tilt your head to him, eyes full of questions. “You did not think I forgot what day it is?” He asks you with a lopsided grin, “I planned a delicious soiree for us both.”

He carries you to the living room where a gentle music plays, dim lights create an intimate atmosphere, a candelabra burning on the table overflowing with food. “Happy Starday, my friend.” He says softly, laying you on your attributed chair, “I took the liberty to ask for dishes from your homeworld, to make you feel at home, at least a little bit.”, “Oh Thrawn…” You murmur emotionally “This is… You shouldn't have! It is too much!”, “Come on now, there is no “too much” when we celebrate a friend.” He counters, opening a bottle of champagne, “I know you the crew celebrate each starday with a little party, I wanted to know how it feels like.” He simply explains. You feel an icy feeling at the bottom of your stomach, those little parties are reserved for the crew members and some ensigns, typically the hierarchy doesn’t get involved so Thrawn was never invited.

Did he… Did he wanted to come? To celebrate with all of you?

“Thrawn I-” you start but he cuts you with a gesture of the hand, “I know you don’t want your superiors to mingle in those parties. I understand it. I just thought today would be a good occasion to enjoy it at a lesser level.”, “Thrawn, I am sorry.” You offer, sympathetic, “If we knew… If I knew you wanted to enjoy those parties I would have invited you. But I didn’t think you would even care, you’re always so detached from everything.” You bite your inner cheek, how many evenings did he spend in complete solitude while you partied, getting drunk on cheap booze with friends?

“No need for excuses, Cha’cah. You are here tonight, that is what matter.”, “No, Thrawn really! We would have welcomed you if you’d asked!” You feel like such a bad friend now… You never once checked on him to know if he wanted to party. “Let us focus on you tonight.” He cuts the conversation short, “I hope it will taste good, I cooked some of the dishes.”, “You…? Oh maker, and I’m not even sure what the date of your starday is…” You hide your face in your hand, absolutely mortified. Wow, you are such a miserable friend! It’s a real mystery what he even sees in you.

You just hear a light chuckle in response. “You have all the time in the world to memorize it.” He serves you both and starts cutting your roast to manageable pieces. He picks one piece with the fork and extends his hand to you, “No!” You say firmly, “Let me try.” You seize the forks with your non-dominant hand and bite into it, your movements are unsure and clumsy but you manage to eat your meat on your own, absolutely determined to not let yourself get pampered and getting some autonomy back! You smile at your success “Hell yeah, look at that! It’s less easy than you can believe!”

He observes you with a false smile. Why are you trying to eat on your own? Why not let him do it? You had such a thing going on, why try to rob him from it? He will ask for more difficult dishes to eat from now on. He eats little bite by little bite, observing you finishing your plate with your stupidly blissful smile on your face. Why are you so happy about getting away from him, even for an inch? Everything was so perfect and now you can’t think of anything else but leaving him behind!

But he smiles, a gentle smile, a smile friends give when another progresses. But his eyes don't sparkle. He’s ruminating while you speak enthusiastically, at least this little dinner is giving you back some life… He, at least, gets to enjoy your laugh.

He opens the cloche for the desert and your eyes open wide. This cake… It is the cake you asked your mother for each year when you were young. A favorite of yours you didn’t have in years.

“How did you knew?” You ask incredulously, “I did my little investigation.” He answers enigmatically.

He is in contact with your family for months now. He knows where they all live and have their personnel numbers. He talked to them for weeks, presenting himself as a friend of yours. Well, that isn’t lying, no? He even talked to your homeworld friends, he decorticated your life from every angle, examining you under a microscope behind your back.

“Oh maker, that scent… So many memories.” You utter, lost in your memory. He lights up the candles and pushes the cake towards you, you can’ help but chuckle, “Thrawn, I’m not a kid anymore.”, “Humor me, I find this tradition with candles most interesting.” You blow the candles out and claps, thoroughly amused, drooling at the simple sight of your favorite childhood cake. You try to cut two parts yourself, just managing to mash them, destroying the presentation completely, “Oh no!” you laugh. You eat, your hand trembling, but with a smile on your face.

Once you’re finished and avidly licked your plate of all the cream he takes out a velvet box that he hands you with a gentle smile, “Happy Starday, my friend.”. He opens it with a “click” letting you admire a golden choker with little white diamonds sprinkled on it, something is engraved and a little chain dangling, making a hoop, at the center, harmonizing the piece. You touch it with the tip of your fingers, eyes wide open and sparkling.

“Oh wow…” you can only say. “Do you like it?” he asks, “It’s beautiful… What is engraved?”, “It is your name in cheuhn.” he explains, rising of his seat to put in on you.

It is not your name. It’s written “my cha’cah” in cheuhn. You don’t need to know, but he will see his claim on you each time you decide to wear it, proudly announcing to the world that you belong to him. And he can't wait to attach a chain on the little hoop…

“May I ask the price?” You ask, worried. “No you cannot. It is improper to reveal it.” He shuts you down with a smile in his voice. He paid it a little fortune, but you’re so worth it! He chose the most expensive precious metals and diamonds just for you…

He carries you to a mirror for you to admire yourself. “So this is how my name would be spelled in Cheuhn?” You ask curiously, “Yes.” He lies with a thin smile, “You wear it perfectly.”. You admire yourself a little more and ask him to take it off, “Why?” he asks confused, “I just don’t want to scratch or damage it.” you explain, raising your valid hand to try and unclip it. “Please.” he seizes your hand mid movement delicately “Wear it a little more, I want to admire it on you.” You look at him surprised, but oblige, it isn’t unreasonable. So you keep it, letting him admire you with what’s basically a dog collar with his claim on you. He can’t keep his eyes out of your precious adorned neck, devouring you with his gaze like a salivating predator.

Oh you are so beautiful like that…

It only misses the chain with what he could tugs you closer to him, choking you a bit, hearing your delicious gasp as you are being pulled in his embrace. He can’t wait to make love to you with it shining on your neck.

You mind absently touch it from time to time, it is just a little too tight making it a little difficult to breathe in. Just as he asked the jeweler.

To finish the soiree he carries you back to the bed where he puts on a romantic movie. He doesn’t like them especially, too sappy for his taste, but he knows you’re an avid watcher of the genre. So he will gladly oblige, for you he will go to the other side of the universe, so watching some mushy movies is a piece of cake. He very gently, very slowly, passes his arm around your shoulders, pressing you close to him as you sigh away at the main lead declaration to their lover. “Isn’t it beautiful?” you ask “To devote yourself to someone to such an extent?” your eyes are glued to the screen, not noticing that his red burning rubies are on you and not the TV. “I guess it is…” He sighs, lost in your beauty, so close and so far away.

But not for long now…

He just needs to be a little bit more patient and you’ll be his forever.

@bluechiss @blueninjablade3 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay

☆Tag list

#yandere au #thrawn x you #thrawn x reader #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth’raw’nuruodo #fanfic #vibratingskull

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