#i wish i could talk to anyone about this ngl
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#am i in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable when talking to my very christian friends about how devoted they are to their religion#when i feel like all the christian religion has done to me is hurt me?#like arguments here and there that were birthed by christianity that directly harm my existence#I've been told by my own father that christianity calls all queer people abominations of life that's it not fucking natural#I've been told by priests that i should behave a certain way otherwise it would be my ruination#all my fucking life christianity has been used to make me submit to this ideal woman i should be#and it's made me hate it so fucking deeply#like deep down i am still catholic I've left behind what the church preaches and internalized what believing in god is for me#but i do not want to know what the christian church be that whatever christian church wants to say#i don't have to enjoy the fact that my friend goes to practice her faith at a place that wants be dead should i?#am i just projecting my anger? my hurt?#i feel angry when she tells me what she did at church and then i feel. guilty bc why am i like that#but then i try to convince myself that it's okay that it's valid for me to feel mad bc of how much pain the church has cost me#but I'm still so unsure idk how to feel and it upsets me when i feel things that i shouldn't when i should be happy for her#i wish i could talk to anyone about this ngl
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for a looooong time now i’ve had this particular… thing? (i know it’s related to my psychosis/being schizospec bc. thats what my therapist says. but i don’t know what’s the right term..) everytime i wear headphones at night where i swear i can hear people i love talking badly about me but can’t quite make it out over the music but it completely disapears when i take them out. ive been dealing with it since middle school and it used to drive me fucking nuts but now it’s all just part of the music listening experience for me… hashtag i lov e music
#it still drives me nuts a little bit im ngl#i have a lot of. paranoia about people talking about me#whenever im living somewhere with. thin walls. i have to sleep with white noise/earplugs because if i hear anyone speaking but can’t quite#make it out i will stay up obsessively thinking its about me. its a bad habit and i dont want to eavesdrop but trust me i hate eavesdropping#i wish i could turn it off im just very paranoid#^ but the music ones are hallucinated to some level. i just also have paranoia related to overhearing things#i don’t. usually hallucinate these days at least not. strongly#i haven’t had a full hallucination since.. highschool? but at times there are. bits of ones but its mainly paranoia
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The problem with liking something old that is no longer popular is that it's literally mission impossible trying to dig up a gold mine of posts for what you specifically want to find. Especially with how shit the tagging system is here lol. Best way is to try and find blogs that used to post it but half of them are inactive or deactivated 😅
#there's several things i'm talking about here#but atm it's particularly the pokemon xy era for me#i mean i've found plenty good content of it but still#it's not the same as acting living in the moments when it was on and there were endless posts galore about it#wish i could go back to 2013 tbh#tbh that era of pokemon was so special to me#i remember being at college/uni at the time and being quite depressed and lonely#and it helped me through it a bit ngl#back then i actually had a piece of amourshipping fanart as my phone background too lol#but i'd never want anyone to see it 🤣
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Also I can’t figure out if my life genuinely does suck or I’m just having an existential crisis because my period starts in approximately 48 hours
#it does make me worse ngl. i wish i could just yeet my uterus#i was just starting to think about how all my days are the same and it’s boring and i’m boring#and i never see anybody or meet new people or make new friends#working from home is all well and good until it makes you want to [redacted]#and you all can say ‘just leave your house!’ as much as you want but living in a small town and having no car is not really conducive#to getting myself out there#i mean my town literally has about a dozen businesses and half of them are sad pubs. the others are like hair salon; co-op; church; butcher#2 takeaways. and yeah there’s parks but all of them are kind of dire#maybe i could start getting the bus places. going somewhere else. idk#i have been thinking about taking a trip but wherever i go i still take myself and it’s like i’m in this state of permanent malaise#too nervous to talk to anyone and too impatient to linger anywhere or enjoy anything#everything i do i rush through so i can do something else#and i think amongst it all i’m just reckoning with the fact that i’m never going to be remarkable. i mean neither is anyone else really#but i always thought i’d write a novel or become a college professor or something but i’m not smart enough and i don’t have enough words#or ideas in me. not really. i’m not a creative i’m just an imitator. always have been#and i could live with being unremarkable because we all are in the cosmic universe but i still don’t think i can live with rotting#in my hometown. but then it’s like how do i get out?#i signed up for an online course just to vary things a bit. just to get some enrichment in my enclosure#it’s this slow realisation that i thought i Wanted to work at home. i thought i liked the peace of it. just me and the computer screen#but no i like to work outside and then come back to my home as my sanctuary. i have to leave it sometimes to really appreciate it#but no one wants to hire me for an intellectual job because i’m not actually that smart. and my body is too broken to work in hospitality#anymore. or is it. i mean for god’s sake i can run three times a week but i don’t trust myself to be able to stand for hours#i’m thinking about throwing myself on the mercy of my old boss like hey. i fucked up. do you have any shifts for me? i’ll do weekends#i just don’t want to lose my fucking mind#maybe i’ll text her tomorrow. the worst thing she can say is no#personal
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#hi i’m gonna ramble a little feel free to skip over this#i’ve just felt so lonely these past few weeks#like the closest friends i had both went out of town and neither told me and i had to find out through instagram#and like idk if it’s my fault for always being so closed off and not reaching out to ppl more or if they just … don’t wanna talk to me#and i’m happy that they’re doing stuff that makes them happy and that they’re doing well but like#they both have bfs which is fine but that means that they almost automatically have someone else to do shit with#and they have closer friends too so they hang out with them more i guess#all this to say i don’t really have anyone i’m close with so i just … don’t have anyone to do that stuff with#like a coworker was saying they wanted to go to the beach with their cousins or siblings or they went on vacation with friends recently#and the only person i’d wanna do those things with is my mom … and then we can’t go bc we’re broke and have other things to pay#and i wish i could travel on my own but it’s not safe here and ngl i don’t have money to go out of the country besides needing paperwork etc#all this to say that: did i fuck up choosing a bsf in hs that was thousands of miles away that now i don’t have a genuine connection with#anyone in the same area i am?? should i have opened up more to ppl overall?? should i have tried harder??#or is it just fucked up that the only ppl i know who like the same things i like and who bond with me over them live so far away??#like is it me?? am i the problem??#i just wanna go to the beach man … i wanna go on vacation and relax and not think about fucking dying alone#no one even cares about me i swear#if i got fucked up in a car crash or something and landed in a hospital or fucking dead for all i know who would even care
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aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#ngl ive been feeling like a bit sad like... i just miss them sm hfdjks#i just wish so SO soso so badly that i could go home to them both back in the 80s#to be w the loves of my life but ALSO to have someone i can talk music to and we can just talk abt music for hours <33#i can just talk abt it to them and theyll completely understand and give their own thoughts abt whatever song/band/album im talking abt#and id love to hear them go on long insane rants abt their own favorite albums and for them to show me a new album they listened to#something theyd know i like cause we love the same music genres#fuck i just miss them so much... they understand me more than anyone and get along w me more than ANYONE#i couldnt even try to imagine a person who better suites me than them even if i tried to create the perfect person for me#they just ARE already the epitome of perfection for me like we were made to know and love eachother to get along so well to be inseparable#i love them... god i love them both so much just thinking about them always makes me cry#i almost never cry its only ever because of them that i cry...#i miss them so so fucking much i keep thinking about them throughout the day#just imagining me being w them to be able to kiss and hold them and show them just how much i love them both#actually today i was picturing them here w me which is something i never do#i just love and miss them... i feel lonely and just ah... idk i wish i could go off on an adventure w them rn#i want to escape the life im living rn and just run off on the road w them chasing after our dream of being rockstars#tbh id also just love to experience the train together and get to see all that crazy stuff yknow? would make good song writing material lol#idk i feel like i cant truly get into how much i truly love and miss them w/o sounding super depressed and pathetic tbh#so i keep holding myself back from really expressing how i feel abt them
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sometimes i think about the fact that my ex, who was one of the most irresponsible people i've ever met, is now a judge. surreal.
#lily talks#ngl he's kinda lucky i'm not petty enough to have ever told anyone about his shenanigans while we were together or i doubt that he'd have#much of a career left#and then i also remember the fact that he once told me (while *very* drunk) that he wrote smut about me and honestly i wish i could erase#that from my memory#even though it is kinda funny#i don't think that he even remembers telling me that
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Hello! I love your stuff and I wanted to request their response to:
Reader: Let me take care of you.
Them: It's rotten work...
Reader: Not to me...not if it's you.
Keep writing! You're amazing! (And I need something to read while I stay up)
Taking care of the Cullens
Ok ngl this ask has me giggling and kicking my feet
Jasper let me take care of you 😡😭❤️
Uhm and remember in my request rules thing where I said I don’t do narratives… i might be a big fat liar cause that’s what I did here… don’t come for me
And thank you so much for the kind words! Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!
Edward:
We all know he has a bit of a complex when it comes to his worth and his humanity
He tends to get in his own head a lot
Especially when it comes to you and your relationship
He doesn’t really get jealous in the normal sense
He just sort of gets sad when he sees you with other people
It’s one day after school and Edward seems to be avoiding you. You’re sitting at the table with Emmett, Alice, Esme, and Jasper playing a card game.
Only Edward is nowhere to be found.
The game finishes, Alice winning and Emmett immediately going into ranting mode about how it’s rigged. You excuse yourself to go check on him.
You find him upstairs in the piano room, plunking away on the keys mindlessly. If he wasn’t a vampire and you didn’t know better, you would say he didn’t even notice you enter the room.
You stood behind him for a while, watching as his fingers danced over the ivory keys.
“It sounds beautiful” you say.
He doesn’t respond.
“Edward, what’s the matter? You’ve hardly spoken to me all day.”
“Do you ever wish I was human?”
The question catches you off guard.
“To wish for you to be human would be to change you, and I happen to love you just the way you are.”
He huffs, his fingers halting.
“But don’t you wish I was warm? Don’t you wish I could eat the foods you like, actually sleep next to you at night, grow old with you?”
You sit down next to him at the stool and take his hands in your own.
“What were you like when you were human?”
The change of subject seems to catch him off guard, his face twists slightly as he thinks. He pauses for a beat before answering.
“I was a bit of a troublemaker. My mom always said I was giving her grey hairs way too early. I didn’t do any of my schoolwork, I just wanted to go and be free.”
“Hm, sounds like the you that could sleep, eat, and grow old was a bit of a wild card. Not really my type. You know I prefer the sophisticated, musical type.”
He laughs at that, hanging his head down to press a kiss to your joined hands.
“So what you’re saying is you like the version of me without a soul better,” he says bitterly. You frown at that.
“No, I’m saying I like the you that I have now. I love you, Edward. I would never trade you for anyone else in the world whether they have a pulse or not.”
He’s quiet for a moment.
“You know this is how it will always be, right? I’ll always be here, trying some new way to push you away from me. To make you realize that you deserve better.”
“And I’ll always be here to take care of you and make sure you know that my mind will never change.”
“Taking care of me for the rest of your life… talk about the worst job you could get.”
“Only it won’t be a job. Not for me. Not when it’s for you.”
He looks at you then, finally. His big, black eyes staring into yours.
You’ve wished it before, but in this moment you wish you were the one who could read his mind instead of the other way around.
“You’re so stupid,” he smiles, and leans in for a kiss.
Maybe one day he’ll fully believe you.
Alice:
Alice has a tendency to shut down whenever there’s too much going on
Too many people are on the cusp of making decisions that could change their lives
It seems that every person she meets on the street has a vision attached
She can’t take it anymore
You find her curled up in a ball in her room, the TV playing a program you don’t think she’s watching.
Around her are scattered sketchbook pages, each one hastily ripped from the pad and thrown to the floor.
On these pages are drawings of buildings, people, animals, and tragedies. You catch the face of a woman who’s screaming as a bullet heads straight for her face. In another is an open room with a small grenade in the center.
No wonder she’s been so upset.
None of the pages show joy, every single one a warning of a disaster that’s just waiting to happen.
In front of her, there’s a stack of drawings that she’s flipping through. On one of them you catch what looks like your face, only it’s contorted in a scream. In another you see Jasper, but you can’t make out what’s around him.
“Alice,” you call out, and her head whips up. Maybe she hadn’t heard you like you thought she did. “What’s wrong?”
She looks at you like a deer in headlights for a moment, before her eyes glance back down to the papers in front of her.
“There’s nothing wrong. Not yet, at least.”
Her tone is grave. You can hear the desperation for an answer, or at least a break.
You sigh, and move to sit next to her. You reach to take the stack of papers from her, meeting no resistance. If she wanted to keep them from you, she could. But she knew now that fighting you was always going to be useless.
“Alice, I know you can’t control the fact that you see these visions. But you can control how much you obsess over them. This isn’t healthy.”
“I don’t need to be healthy. I can’t die or get sick.”
You sigh again. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. You can’t keep withering away in here obsessing over what might happen.”
“But-“
“No buts.” You say, throwing the stack of papers to the side. “How long ago did you have these visions?”
She thinks for a moment.
“Yesterday, I think.”
“Alright. Have they happened yet?”
“Well, no…”
“From what you saw, are they still a possibility now?”
“…they are… a very low possibility…”
You could see her reluctantly piecing together your words, clearly not wanting to admit her mistake out loud.
“Look, Alice, you know that I’m always touched by you looking out for me, but in moments like this I need to look out for you too.”
She looks into your eyes, then hangs her head again.
“But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. My gift, I should be the one taking care of you-“
“No. There is no ‘supposed to’ anything. Humans aren’t ‘supposed to’ be with vampires and yet here we are. So please just come with me and watch a movie or cuddle or something?”
She looks at you again, then. Staring into your eyes, then glancing around her room, at all of the papers, then back to you. She smiles slightly and floats up to her feet.
“Fine. But I’m picking the movie.”
Jasper:
This is a man who needs some serious love and reassurance
He’s always on edge around you, even if he plays it off like he isn’t
He’s just always so scared of hurting you or doing something wrong
And a lot of the time that manifests as him isolating himself to try and get you to leave him
It was gonna be one of those nights again.
A night that you would spend alone in the bed you were supposed to be sharing with the love of your life, Jasper.
But no. On a night like this, he’s out in the woods, far, far away. Stewing in his feelings and brooding.
You don’t even remember anything happening this time. Sometimes something can set him off; a jab from someone at school, a hug he gave you that ended up being WAY too tight, anything really. Anything that reminds him of how he’s not supposed to be with you.
But right about now, you’re sick of it.
The Cullens have taken to being quieter at night since you’ve started sleeping over a lot more, but you know they’re all here- all except for the one you want.
So it being 2 am won’t bother any of the other residents of the house. You roll out of bed and march your way over to the door, throwing it open (politely) and stomping down the steps.
Emmett is the first one you see, and you decide he’ll be perfect for the job anyway.
“What’s got you going, firecracker?” He asks.
“I need you to go find Jasper and bring him to me. Now. I need to talk to him,” you couldn’t help the anger and frustration that seeped into your voice. Lack of sleep will do that to you.
Emmett stood up straight and gave a stupid salute, “One loner coming right up, boss.”
And with that he was out of the door, and you trudged back upstairs to wait for your boyfriend.
You were laying in the bed, still trying desperately to go to sleep when you heard a light knock on the door. Your eyes flicked open to see Jasper standing in the doorway, looking completely out of place and uncomfortable.
All of your anger left instantly, all you saw was the sweet man who was far too worried for his own good.
You sighed and scooted over, patting the spot next to you.
“Come here, Jasper.”
A look of what could only be described as fear flashed across his face before he shook his head and muttered a small, “i can’t.”
You sighed again and stood up, making your way over to him. When you reached him, you stretched your arms out to take his face in your hands, his eyes wouldn’t meet yours.
“Look, Jas, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I have a pretty damn good idea. You’re not gonna hurt me.”
“You don’t know that,” he says, looking into your eyes, something about the black made him look more human, more scared. “Vampires are already dangerous, but I’m the worst of the worst. You’ve found yourself a faulty cannon amongst rifles, darling.”
You frowned at his analogy, squeezing his perfect face in your hands.
“You are NOT faulty, you hear me? You are perfect. Perfect for me, at least.”
“The perfect man for you wouldn’t be tearing himself up inside trying not to kill you.”
“And a lesser man would have already done it.” He was shocked at that, stunned into silence. He hung his head slightly, not meeting your eyes once more.
“And what if I do hurt you one day? Would you ever forgive me? Could I ever forgive myself?”
“I don’t think you will. But if you do, Carlisle will put me back together and I’ll jump right back into your arms.”
His eyes bore into your soul as he stared at you like you were crazy.
“Why the hell would you do that? Come running right back to me?”
“To make sure you don’t hate yourself for too long. Now come on, I’m tired and I can’t sleep without my personal AC unit.”
He looked at you with disbelief. You knew he didn’t believe you, you don’t know if he ever will.
But that’s okay. You’ll keep him right here, and pull him back to you every time he runs away.
Eventually, he’ll understand that you love him.
Rosalie:
The topic of kids has always been a very touchy one for Rosalie
It’s all she’s ever wanted, and all that she still wants
Most days, the pain is not too much of an issue
But some days, it just gets to be too much
You and Rosalie were walking down the street, hand in hand as you strolled by the different shops and food stands.
The city was busy today, many young couples out and about, shopping, talking, kissing far too passionately to be in public, the usual.
“Rose, do you mind if we sit down for a bit? These shoes Alice chose for me look really nice, but they are so uncomfortable.”
She giggled, but nodded and led you both to a bench. You sat down with a heavy sigh, finally getting off of your feet after what felt like forever (even though it was only about an hour).
Across the way in the little park you’ve both found yourself in, a young couple is sitting on a bench.
The woman has long, flowing, blonde hair that frames her face in loose curls. She’s wearing a gorgeous floral-patterned dress, and on her left hand is quite possibly the biggest, gaudiest ring you have ever seen.
To her right, a man sits, one who bears a striking resemblance to you, regardless of gender.
And in the middle, a little baby. A perfect mix of the two, her hair and his eyes, her nose and his jawline, all swaddled in a cute little onesie.
You’re about to turn to Rosalie to point out the cute baby (she always loves to look and maybe go touch it if the parents allow her to) when you see that she’s already looking.
Her face is grave, like she’s looking at her own headstone. Her face is twisted in grief, and she looks on the verge of tears.
It takes you a second to connect the dots, but once you do, your heart clenches for her.
That woman looks like her, reminds Rosalie of herself. And the man looks like you. And that baby is what she wants, all she’s ever wanted. What she can’t have.
Babies are always hard for her, but this struck a deep chord.
“Rose… do you wanna go home?” You ask softly, not wanting to come off as pushy.
“…”
“Come on, let’s go,” you grab her arm to pull her up, she goes with you, but keeps her head craned back to the young couple the whole time.
Once you’re far away, she breaks down. You’ve never seen a vampire cry, and that’s probably because they can’t. But if they could, Rosalie would be sobbing.
You know it’s bad because she doesn’t even care that she falls to the floor in this dirty, nasty alleyway. Normal Rosalie would rather die 100 times over than get her clothes dirty, especially here.
You sit down next to her, letting her dry heave and gasp into your shoulder, her wails breaking your heart.
You’re helpless here. Cause what can you really do? You can’t give her a kid, she can’t give you one either. You can’t go back in time and stop her from being killed. And you can’t go back and steal that baby from that couple (even though you kind of really want to).
So you just hold her.
You run her hair, pat her back, kiss her head, and whisper into her ear. How much you love her, how she’s perfect, how it’s okay, how you don’t think less of her.
Once she’s calmed down and her breathing has slowed, she looks up at you.
“I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be seeing this side of me.”
“What? I want to be here for you, Rose. I know I can’t fix this for you, but at least I can-“
“Fix it? Darling, don’t worry about fixing me. I’m already completely broken, there’s nothing to fix.”
With that you just take a moment to look at her. Her face screams that she is broken. In her soul, at least. Her and Edward are a lot more similar than they like to think.
“Rosalie. You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you.”
She scoffs at that. “I’m not human. I’d say that’s pretty wrong. Not to mention the fact that I can’t even look at a couple with a baby and not want to violently kill someone.”
“And that’s okay.”
She scoffs again.
“No, really, Rose. I mean it. I’m never ever going to think less of you for something like this. You went through something I can never even imagine and now you’re left to pick up the pieces. Just let me help you.”
She looks at you, her eyes staring into yours. The grief that she’s feeling is evident. But deep in her eyes, you see a touch of something else. Trust, maybe.
“You know, you’re gonna be picking up pieces for the rest of your life.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind. Not if it’s you.”
Emmett:
He likes to pretend to be all big and bad all of the time
But in reality, he's still a person
He just has a hard time remembering that sometimes
You don't know where he got all of that energy from.
I mean, realistically, you know that he can never get tired.
But really, even for a vampire this was unnatural.
Some nobody in school had challenged him to an arm wrestle. Of course, he can never resist. He grabbed the guy's hand and prepared to pummel him, only to flinch and have his hand thrown down against the wood of the desk.
The guy had one of those fake shock things in his hand, and as soon as Emmett clamped down it vibrated like crazy.
To say he was pissed would be an understatement.
And now he was taking all of that anger out on the trees around the Cullen house.
"That-" punch "fucking-" punch "ASSHOLE!" punch punch punch
It had been days. And you were honestly getting worried. He hadn't hunted in those days, much less came inside the house. You're surprised the park ranger hasn't come knocking yet.
You heard a hollowed cracking sound and looked to see Emmett standing triumphantly as a rather large oak tree fell to the ground, followed by a guttural roar from the man.
"Emmett," you called, barely above a whisper. But you know he heard you. "Come over here please."
He looks at you with a slightly guilty look, the anger from before fading away as he hangs his head and trudges over to you. He stops just a few feet in front of you, lamely kicking the rocks beneath his toes as he avoids your eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s that stupid fucking guy-“
“No,” you stop him, putting your hand up to silence him. “What’s actually wrong? Don’t tell me you’re seriously this pissed about losing an arm wrestling match with some nobody.”
He just stood there in silence for a second. You took this chance to stand up and grab his face in your hands, instantly he leaned in, perching his head on your palms.
“I just… need to be strong. That’s what I am, I need to be strong,” he whispered, his voice coming out shy and meek.
You just smiled at him sadly and rubbed his cheek.
“I can be strong too you know. So every once in a while you can let me take care of you instead.”
He laughed at that.
“You, strong? As if. I could fold you in half!”
You punched him lightly in the arm.
“You jerk! I’m trying to be sentimental!”
He laughed again and grabbed your hands, bringing them back up to their previous spot cradling his face.
“Ok ok, serious sentimental time.”
You just laughed and kissed him.
Esme:
She has a bad habit of overreacting
Just a dash of anxiety
So when something-anything happens to you, she freaks out
This is bad.
Like really, really bad.
You were supposed to be driving to go see Esme at the Cullen house, but of course your piece-of-shit car decided that now would be a perfect time to break down.
Too far away from home to walk back, too far away from the Cullens to walk there, and the nearest anything was also too far.
Not to mention the snow covering the ground didn’t really entice you to get out of your still-warm car.
So you tried calling someone to come get you.
Only, of course there’s no service out here because why would there be.
Just your luck.
You weigh your options, and decide that walking is just gonna have to do.
You didn’t pack a winter coat because you didn’t think you’d be outside for this long, but you had a blanket stored in your backseat and it was better than nothing.
So off you trekked through the freezing cold winter storm to the Cullen house.
Inside, Esme was (in)patiently waiting.
Your favorite meal was waiting for you, already plated and getting colder by the second on the dining room table.
You said you were on your way 30 minutes ago. It takes about 30 minutes to get from your house to their house.
So where were you?
Her ears perked at the sound of a slowly beating heart coming from down the driveway.
It didn’t sound like one of the foxes or deer that roam around this time of year. No, it sounded a bit bigger, a bit more human.
She was out the door in a flash. Before anyone had the chance to ask what she was doing she was by your side.
“Oh my god, honey, why are you out here?!”
“An angel…” and then you collapsed.
Cue Esme absolutely freaking the fuck out.
She has you in front of a lit fireplace, a heating blanket rested over your shoulders and a warm towel on your head.
She’s pacing back and forth in front of you. She wants to hold you so bad, to kiss you, cuddle you, protect you. But she can’t. She’ll just make the shivers wracking your body even worse.
“Es…” you croak, your eyes blinking open finally.
“Oh my god! Are you okay? How are you feeling? Why were you out there? Where’s your car? Why didn’t you call me?”
“Shhhh,” you whisper, bringing your finger up to shush her. “Just come here.”
You open up your blanket in an invitation to her.
“Are you out of your mind? I can’t cuddle with you right now, I’ll freeze you!”
“Please, you deserve to be taken care of too.”
She crumbles at that, you can see the resolve leaving her face. And then she figures that you won’t get too cold with the heated blanket and everything.
She cuddles up next to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and ducking her head into your neck.
“I’m so sorry, I should have been there. And least of all I shouldn’t be such a mess right now.”
“It’s okay to be a mess, I’ll always be here to hold you.”
Carlisle:
No one really talks about the stress of being a pretend father for a bunch of eternal teenagers
Really, it’s a blessing that he doesn’t need sleep and isn’t affected by long hours
But despite that, he still gets so worn out
Today had been a long day for Carlisle.
It was student-teacher conference day. And while that’s not usually an issue since he always tells the kids to behave, Emmett decided it was necessary to punch a kid last week.
To be honest, Carlisle didn’t really care if the kid was a bully or not, all he viewed it as was something more drawing attention to them.
On top of that, the cattiness between Edward and Rosalie seemed to be especially bad today.
They were at each other’s throats for the better part of the day, and nothing would get them to separate.
At work, at least a dozen new patients showed up. A factory that was close by had a gas leak, very minor. None of the people were harmed at all, but many still insisted on going to the clinic.
Carlisle’s not one to discourage people from getting checked out, but he is one to tell people to go home when they’re fine, which everyone was.
But these people kept insisting something was wrong. A boy with a broken arm had to wait for three hours for a room to open up because the factory workers refused to leave.
By the time he got home, he was exhausted, you could tell. His eyes were heavy, as were his footsteps. His hair was disheveled, he had clearly been running his fingers through it all day from the stress.
He looked like a mess. But even then, he greeted you with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.
He always takes such good care of you, whether you’re sick or not, he’s always there with whatever you want.
Now it’s your turn.
“Carlisle, are you busy?” You ask, peeking into his home office. Even after the super long day, he’s a man of habit.
“Not particularly,” he turns to look at you, setting his pen down, “why?”
“Follow me.”
You lead him to the bathroom, where a nice, warm back is drawn. Complete with lilac scented bath oil and two candles lit on the sink.
“The bath looks beautiful, darling. I’m sure the lavender will be great for your skin.”
“Oh, it’s not for me,” you quip. All he does is raise an eyebrow. “It’s for you. I know you’ve had a long day, so go relax and meet me in the bedroom when you’re done.”
You don’t give him a chance to argue before you leave, shutting the door tightly behind you.
He emerges about 30 minutes later, still toweling his hair off.
“Ok now come on over here,” you pat the bed next to you, motioning him to sit there. Again, all he does is quirk and eyebrow but he obliges.
You take the remote to the TV in yours and Carlisle’s room, turning on his favorite movie. A classic one from the silent film era.
“But this… I haven’t seen this movie in years… how did you get it?”
“That’s the beauty of streaming platforms.”
You both sit in silence for a while, Carlisle seemingly happy to just watch his favorite movie after so long. Eventually, he turns to look at you with an inquisitive expression.
“So, what’s all this for?”
“What, am I not allowed to take care of you from time to time?”
He laughs slightly at that.
“A human taking care of a vampire, how twisted.”
You grab his face between your hands at that, drawing him close and looking deep into his yellow eyes.
“It’s not if I want to do it, and I would move the Earth for you.”
“Hopeless romantic,” and with that he kisses you.
Vampire! Bella:
She tends to… shut down
We all know how she was when she couldn’t be with Edward
That translates over
It really wasn’t supposed to be that big of a deal.
Your Spanish class was going to be taking a two week trip to Spain.
Only, Bella wasn’t in Spanish. This time around, she chose to take French. Which was all fine and good, until it meant that she couldn’t go with you.
Cue two weeks of endless calls and texts.
On the phone with you , she sounds fine. But from your calls with Alice, she’s not doing too hot.
She hasn’t been hunting since you’ve been gone, she’s completely stopped going to class, and she also hasn’t talked to anyone in the house.
It’s the last night of your trip, you’re in your hotel room, the girl you’re sharing with is sound asleep in the other bed, but you know one girl who’s never asleep.
You call Bella’s number, and she answers instantly, like she’s been waiting all day for you to call. In all honesty, she probably has.
“Hey, what are you up to?” You can hear the attempt to be nonchalant in her voice, but her eagerness gives her away.
“Oh nothing, I just got off the phone with Alice… wanna tell me why you didn’t leave our room today? Or yesterday? Or the day before?”
You can hear her pause on the line, like she’s trying to come up with a convincing lie, but eventually she sighs.
“I just… I’ve just been missing you a lot, is all. I want you here next to me, I feel incomplete without you.”
Yowch. Right through the heart.
You decide then to help in some way, you don’t know how immediately, but you have to do something.
So you start to hum.
Whenever you have a bad day, Bella hums the song her mom used to sing to her. You always ask her to, and even though she says she isn’t a great singer, she indulges you anyway.
Sometimes it’s the only thing that can stop you from a panic attack or calm you enough to go back to sleep after a nightmare.
You hear her gasp slightly before y he sound of sheets rustling, presumably her laying her head down.
You go through the whole song twice over, Bella never telling you to stop or joining you.
After your voice fades out and the line stays dead for a moment, you swear you can hear Bella overthinking.
“You know, you didn’t have to do that. I’m an apex predator. I shouldn’t be so upset whenever you leave for a little bit.”
You laugh lightly at that, and you can hear her scoff across the line.
“I don’t mind. Especially when it’s you. Bella, I love you and I would do anything for you.”
“Even if I’m a beautiful monster who was designed to kill you?”
“Even if you did kill me, I would hope that my blood nourishes you for months on end.”
#alice cullen#bella swan#carlisle cullen#edward cullen#esme cullen#emmett cullen#jasper cullen#jasper hale#rosalie hale#rosalie cullen#alice cullen x reader#bella swan x reader#carlisle cullen x reader#esme cullen x reader#emmett cullen x reader#edward cullen x reader#jasper cullen x reader#jasper hale x reader#rosalie hale x reader#rosalie cullen x reader
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Astro Observations/Opinions (Vedic Edition😋)
Hello guys! This is my first astro observation so I hope y’all like it, if not then😗
These are based on my perspective of placements and signs, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t🫶🏾 I’d love to hear y’all’s take as well!
ANTYWAYSSS (spelled it like i say it) let’s get started😈😈😈
1. Solar women are so mentally strong (as are Saturnian Women) like they won’t bend backwards for anyone ESP a man. Always giving boss bitch energy and super independent. Some of the ones I met can be egotistical as well lol
2. I know people might think mercurial people talk the most shit because it’s mercury but out of all the shit talkers i know BABES ITS THE SATURN MFSSS. like they are the ones that will be telling and spilling the tea to their friends and talking the MOST shitttt likeeeeeereeeeeee that’s crazy. They are often like “bitch i gotta tell u abt xyz” like BABYYY and don’t let me get started if it’s paired with like rahu or even ketu like even ketu people talk the most shit too like and they’re the ones that are called “detached” but lord and behold LMAO crazy
3. Mercurial people really are all or nothing. U either meet them when they are at their highest and at their lowest like there’s no in between. When they are at their highest they thrive so well and they can radiate their happiness onto others as it’s kinda hard for them to get there. Deals with a lot of insecurity and abuse and they take it out on the ones who doesn’t deserve it more than the ones who do like it genuinely believe that if they told the people who hurt them what’s up then it’ll take a BIGGGGGG boulder off their shoulders and then they can begin to heal (even if it’s through letter that they burn or whatever like BITCH GET IT OUT). Y’all don’t have to take it out on others WERE BETTER THAN THIS😭😭😭 as a mercurial myself i get it like it’s hard asf esp when abuse and pain is all u know it’s so easy to get wrapped into that. tbh i’m dealing with handling my emotions better and im trying to use my poison as medicine as one would say (its hard but with having jupiter in the 1st house i can’t linger in negative thoughts or emotional all the time like at max an hour or three but forgetting abt it which holds on to it rather than expressing because when i hold onto i start to isolate myself and then i burst when it’s too much, yeah 😞 working on it tho)
4. Rahu people are like maritans mixed with jupiterians like very bold and EXPRESSIVE but like to have a good time like jupiterians. Super duper expressive.
5. Magha placements be feeling like royalty at all times and AS U SHOULD BOO LIKE DO U. LMAO i say bc i have a magha moon friend who calls me a peasant when he wants to be sassy like LMAO okayyyy
6. Jupiter men are the ones with the big body counts LoL everyone I met be fucking like they wont live tmr like calm down sir😭
7. Moon women are conservative lol. they are def the ones judging other women for being out there when in reality they wish they could to bc lunar women are often people pleasers unfortunately 😩. Ngl i deadass think that MANY moon women are closeted like baby it’s okay U DONT HAVE TO HIDE. But one thing about lunar women THEY LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING OMFG
8. Dhanistia omg man or woman bitch y’all have a certain magnetism to y’all and DAMNNNNN like i’m obsessed esp with the girlies. Like y’all are so confident and have such a strong aura like y’all make me wanna get out of my SHELL 🥹
Anyways that’s ittttt hope y’all liked it.
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Hii, can i make a request? Yandere and self aware twisted wonderland please?
So the characters could hear the player after some time, although it is very difficult unless you pay attention, they actually don't know the appearance of the player!
But yeah, yandere Heartslabyul with a player who's pretty expressive? Like whenever something frustrates them they'd almost always curse out loud, when something makes them happy and satisfied they'd yell out a "Yes! Oh my god bro", etc
Okay so basically a player like me (and many others), cool, got it. (Im panicking I suck at writing for heartslabyul) I fucked up at ace's part idk what to write for him
God the old hag is waking up
Rushed asf
Riddle Rosehearts
You're pretty easy to read, at least on the terms of mood and emotion, which could be considered a good thing for him ?
At first he didn't believe it, because how could the player be anything but perfect ?
But then he realized that you don't need to be emotionless to be perfect.
Now this vaguely depends on whether we're talking about before OB or after OB Riddle, but if it's after OB then he doesn't mind it much
In fact, he likes hearing you mumble in frustration whenever you lose or see something irritating, it makes him...melancholic, in a way. Because these are all the signs that you're pretty normal just like them, you feel. It reassures him sometimes, to know that.
It's pretty cute and funny to him, but he won't show it
Hates that you show that side of yourself to others, he wants to be the only one to see this, but alas..not much can be done.
At least, not within the rules.
Cater Diamond
A bit like Riddle, it's sorta funny for him. God he wishes he could tease you, but he can't because of the damn programming..
Will definitely sneakily film it or record it he can't pass up on such an opportunity !
Depending on his mood he may or may not post it as well, but most likely on his private account
Can't have anyone else seeing such a cute thing, can we ?
Trey Clover
Now this is a bit complicated (more so than the others)
He wouldn't show it on the outside ofc, but he finds it endearing. (everyone does.)
May or may not crack a little smile when he sees you jumping in joy (or banging your head on the wall in frustration)
Doesn't care what others think about it, he will listen to your little outbursts with all ears.
And if anyone dares to comment about it, they better get ready for hell.
Deuce Spade
Doesn't really know what to think about it,
Ofc like everyone else he loves to hear you jump in joy or excitement, but frowns when you whine or complain about something
You deserve the very best !! If he could, he'd do anything to make you happy, just to see your little smile
God he wishes he was with you, but he can't...except-
Right, maybe draconia could help him with this.
Ace (I forgot his last name)
Oh well.
Seeing how expressive you are, he would definitely sneak in a few teases in his dialogues.
You know that cheeky smile of his ? Yeah, that's the one he has
Unlike a few others, he doesn't care if you're jumping in joy or in sadness, all he cares about is hearing you, seeing you..
Don't worry, soon enough, you'll be right next to him. So if you one day wake up to find yourself locked up in a room, just know that he means no harm
He can't help but wonder what you look like...ah, no use thinking about that since you'll be here soon.
This sucks ass ngl, my writing is trash right now but whatever
I did better than I thought since it's been a few months since I last wrote anything
Dividers by @cafekitsune
#yourfavepookiebear#the pookiest writes#tw yandere#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere heartslabyul#yandere ace#ace trappola#deuce spade#trey clover#trey clover x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#cater diamond#cater x reader#cater diamond x reader#dividers by cafekitsune#deuce spade x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#yandere twisted wonderland x reader#self aware twisted wonderland#satwst#sagau twst#sagau twisted wonderland
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im happy to announce that I've joined Vash is Babygirl club officially 😍✨ ngl I wish that the plant design looked more angelic so we could get this cool wings from Vash and Knives 🙏
Anyways if anyone wants to dm me to talk about this cool show dont be shy 🥺✨
#trigun#vash#trigun stampede#vash is babygirl#vash fanart#trigun maximum#tristamp#vash stampede#trigun spoilers#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood fanart#art commisions#art commissions open#art commission info#art comms open#art commish#art commission sheet#commision info#drawing commisions#commisionwork#commisions open#Commissons#illustration#character illustration#characterart#anime art#Anime Trigun#Manga
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Would they be a Girl Dad/Mom or Boy Dad/Mom
A/N: just know that this isn’t the weird incest-y thing that people have going on (the boy moms saying that no girl would ever compare to them when talking about their sons dating stuff) this is just what vibes they give off!! The is completely ignoring the how many kids they would have thing!!
Tw:cursing? Mentions of a afab partner in bachelors and amab partner in bachelorettes. Some angsty stuff but nothing too bad except for the authors note which mentions incest.
Wc:at least 5 for each!
Stardew Valley Masterlist
Sebastian
Girl dad
He just gives off girl dad energy
Like a daughter would soothe his soul if that makes sense.
Especially because I feel like he would have a daughter that’s exactly like her mother.
He would become softer, and would probably be carrying her everywhere.
Would be the parent that shows up to the school like “WHO TF HAS A PROBLEM WITH MY DAUGHTER?”
Absolutely doesn’t allow her on his motorcycle at all.
Maybe when she’s a little older he’ll get mods to a new motorcycle so she could ride with him but as a baby absolutely not.
She is a daddy’s girl through and through and it makes him happy because he never had a relationship like this with his biological dad nor with Demetrius.
Sam
Girl dad
You will see him teaching his daughter how to skate EVERY DAY
Like dude is a skater boy that’s also a musician.
He definitely has a daughter with her skirt on and some knee pads a helmet and some flannel or something.
And he’s like “okay try again! You’ll get that kick flip eventually.”
And you’re just like “SHES GONNA GET H U R T!!!!”
And he’s like “yeah but she’ll be fine :)”
It’s VERY stressful because he’s a little rough with playing sometimes because he gets too excited but it’s good to have a partner that will push your child like that.
He’s a very good fun dad
Vincent enjoys being an uncle.
Shane
Girl dad
Have you seen how he is with Jas?
Dude is a girl dad all the way!
Would teach his daughter how to take care of the chickens, and would try to teach them proper ways of dealing with their emotions because he doesn’t want her to end up like him.
I could imagine he’s one of those dads where his daughter posts something on a social media platform and gets the “this is no father behavior” or whatever people be saying
And she just makes another video with him standing there and is like ??????? I’m actually close to my dad thanks <3
Like his daughter would be strong but a good person because he would work hard to make sure she’s a person he wishes he could be. But not in a toxic way
More in a you could be and are better than me.
Alex
Definitely a boy dad
I think he gives off the vibes of a dad you see at the park
And you can immediately tell that his child is a boy and when anyone asks him he points to a little boy that looks exactly like him.
They have football days
And it just very much him fixing what he didn’t have with his dad, and giving his son as much love and care as he can.
It’s as if he is getting a do over, but in the form of having a child instead of him going back to being a child.
I can see him and his son in the kitchen with a mess everywhere trying to make you breakfast
He takes him to sports games and goes to all of his kids events at school.
They’re both EXTREMELY loud when doing anything together. It’s just shouts of excitement and joy.
Harvey
Boy dad
I don’t know he gives off that he specifically has a 3 year old son that clings to both of you on any given day.
Like a son with big eyes that can melt anyone’s heart and his hair is always neat.
Son may be a bit of a crybaby ngl but in a cute way. Because both of you allow him to express his feelings in any way he wants to as long as it’s healthy.
Like y’all’s son would be an incredibly sweet boy and so loving and caring towards other people and things.
Harvey has a picture of you and your son as his lock screen on his phone and the clinic computer. And he has a little picture (more like a million) of you three in his wallet.
Elliott
Girl dad
She takes mom’s looks but has his hair.
And also his bone structure.
Gives off Nepo baby vibes and has a big vocabulary bc Elliott would speak to her as if she’s an adult since the day she’s born.
Like yeah he still speaks softly and everything
But he uses adult words bc his kid is going to be smart.
Would be so sweet and would absolutely call her his princess.
Elliott is for sure in charge of bedtime stories and has probably already or has made plans to release a children’s book just for her
She gives him inspiration and a new meaning to his life.
Penny
Boy mom
She just seems like the type of woman to have a son
I imagine him literally either as a newborn with her never putting him down or like a 4 year old playing at the park.
I think he would be similar to her in personality but more like dad in looks.
He’s attached to her and they spend hours reading together because they’re both very into stories.
I think out of all the kids he would be the sweetest.
He’s very soft spoken like she is and she loves that he is (don’t get me wrong if he was loud she would still love him just as much) but she’s seeing all of the traits that she was more insecure about in him and figuring out that maybe it’s nothing to be ashamed of because those traits are lovely in him.
Leah
Boy mom
Like I mentioned in the other post I think she would have one child
And I think this little boy would be so creative it’s crazy
But is also super hyper so all of his art is chaotic but very cool
She probably started doing art with him the second he was born.
She makes a bunch of finger,hand,toe, and footprint art because he’s going to grow quickly and she wants to have something that she can look back on when he’s grown.
He’s encouraged to be messy and I think because of it he learns to clean up his mess quickly
They’re a very smilely duo and she makes sure to encourage him in whatever he wants to do no matter how absurd because no one encouraged her to follow her art dreams and she never wants him to feel like that
But also teaches the importance of accepting failure and continuing to try to achieve his goals.
Emily
Boy mom
Very strange like her but in a good way like her
She lets him express himself in all kinds of ways so he’s very…idk how to explain it
Sometimes off putting to people?
Sort of autism coded ngl
Like has no ability to read the room and very much says what’s on his mind no matter what’s happening
But it’s kinda impossible to get mad at him because he does it in a very nice way?
Probably has his hair dyed some random color that he wanted and everyone gets mad at Emily for it because “HeS a KiD hE cAnT dO tHaT!!!!!!!1!!!”
They’re also super close. But I don’t honestly think any of these bachelor/ettes would have kids just to hate them.
But they have the kind of bond that people usually have with their friends like where you can halfway read their mind and you don’t really have to say full sentences or anything they just get it.
Haley
Girl mom
OOOOOOOOF her daughter is the spitting image of her
Like her daughter knows EXACTLY what she’s going to look like.
Would probably dress her daughter up in expensive clothes and stuff and they’ll have mommy daughter dates where they get their nails done and go to a hair salon and go shopping and have their little drinks.
Her daughter would probably have a popular girl name because Haley would wanna set her up for success.
BUT unlike what people might think I think that Haley would be very…relaxed with her daughter if that makes sense
No almond mom shit
No making her feel bad
No being distant and distracted
Haley sometimes feels abandoned by her parents and I have a headcanon where even though she loves them and they love her they kinda made her feel shitty about certain things
Like her and her mother would get into arguments and her mother would say “I hope you have a daughter just like you so you can see how hard it is to deal with you!”
And after Haley has her daughter she sees that it isn’t really hard to love herself at all. Her daughter is just like her and it’s the easiest thing in the world to love her.
Abigail
Girl mom
I think Abigail would struggle with this at first because y’know I think out of all the bachelorettes she her up with the stereotypical roles in her household and even when she tried to go against it her parents wouldn’t let her
So when she has a girl she panics because what is she supposed to do? And she worries that she’ll be like her parents even though she does love and cherish them.
But as her daughter grows older she’ll relax more especially if her daughter is into video games and adventuring.
I think she would probably take her kid on hikes and stuff. Like she doesn’t really care for exercise but it’s kinda like adventuring going hiking.
So her daughter would grow up with a love for adventure and the outdoors but also with the knowledge that she could be into whatever and her mother will not judge and will always love her
Maru
Boy mom
I don’t know why but I can see her with a Spencer Reid son if that makes sense
A super nerd that’s super cute and lovable and also info dumps and inappropriate times
I think he would be space nerd instead of robot nerd and also maybe a bit of a bug/dinosaur nerd
And she’s like !!!!!! That’s so cool!!!!!!
They just talk for hours and hours infodumping at each other and everyone is like ??? What kind of conversation is that you’re both just taking turns talking for an hour straight???
BUT a difference is that she understands Demetrius’ position but also kinda is annoyed at him for his behavior
Like she would NEVER dream of holding her child back socially because she thinks his academic progress is more important
It kinda made her shit at socializing and she’s kinda grateful to have a partner and son that understand her
She wants him to be well rounded instead of just smart.
#stardew valley#sdv#stardew#sdv headcanons#stardew headcanon#stardew valley headcanons#sdv shitpost#stardew shitpost#stardew valley shitpost#sdv sebastian#stardew Sebastian#stardew valley Sebastian#sdv Sam#stardew Sam#stardew valley Sam#stardew Harvey#stardew valley Harvey#sdv Harvey#sdv Haley#stardew Haley#stardew valley Haley#stardew Abigail#sdv Abigail#sdv Leah#stardew Leah#sdv Alex#sdv Emily#sdv penny#sdv Shane#sdv Elliott
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Ruby deserved better.
She deserved proper closure from Otis. She so very obviously still loved him, and was heartbroken when he ignored her texts because of Maeve. It's like Eric said, "When Maeve is involved, Otis doesn't care about anyone else anymore."
I kept waiting for Otis to go up and have a genuine talk with her, sincerely apologizing to her, but it never happened. The only thing was, "Want to be friends?" I'm so happy she turned that offer down because girl deserved better.
(I was rooting for them, though, ngl. I just really love their chemistry and interaction.)
I wish she would have had more interaction with the rest of the cast. Maybe her and Eric discussing how awful it feels when they're being neglected by Otis because of Maeve.
I wish she would have had a little more growth shown, actually on screen, where she acknowledged that her having been heavily bullied made her a bully herself as a means to protect herself. Just a bit more than just that little speech she gave at the end of wanting to become better. I mean, it was all implied very well, but I wanted her to have more screentime to have fleshed that out more. But good for her for saying condolences to Maeve about the latter having lost her mom, and not defending herself when Maeve brushed her off because Maeve had every right to do that.
Also, there should have been a mention that she's such a political powerhouse (she got Connor elected for therapist in two or so weeks, while the other two candidates have been therapists for years) and she would want to pursue a career in that. I could easily see her become a softer version of Jen Barkley from Parks & Rec.
Honestly, Ruby really deserved better.
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When it comes to love you're just as blinded.
Part Ten
Eminem x Musician
Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.
Note: Later than usual, sorry! But I've been busy with a whole load of shit ngl, it's just been stress:) Let me know if anyone else wants to be added to the taglist though, I realise my updating is a bit sporadic? Maybe? Just a little? Lmao, anyway here's 10, hope you enjoy!
| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2
taglist: @thelastemzy
Masterlist
Jacket potatoes were a fucking delicacy.
Any Brit back home would tell you that. You could top ‘em with all sorts; Chilli, Tuna, Cheese, Chicken, Stuffing, Coleslaw, Bacon, Gravy, Bolognese— some people even liked them plain. But my favourite, as well as the only real and true way to serve a jacket potato, was with an ungodly amount of butter and baked beans.
Being in the States, it was a rather hard dish to come by. But, seeing as Marshall always appeared to go above and beyond, beans (No, none of that shoddy American shit) could be found in the little basket he’d gone and gifted me the day before. A little wicker bowl full of goodies to soothe that little ache of homesickness.
I smacked the can down onto the countertop and levelled Rosie with a long stare.
“You’re serious?” She asked me around a wary glance, extending her arm out cautiously to get a better look at the bright blue tin as though she thought the contents might just reach out to try and grab her back.
“Deadly.” I remarked, attempting to keep my smile hidden when I met her question with a raised brow, “You’ll love it.”
Rosie didn’t look too convinced about that fact and yet, she rolled up her sleeves and took a seat at the counter to watch me work, helping out with the few things that she could.
She had waltzed in through the front door a while earlier, just a second after I’d made it up the stairs, and the grin she’d worn when she had spotted me had had my heart warming and the pair of us wandering into the kitchen, arm in arm and already talking at a mile an hour.
I was sauteing some mushrooms in a pan after having peeled and diced them up, whilst she kept a keen eye on the warming potatoes. “So Dad’s finally found some inspiration then?” Rosie asked me after a while, peering into the oven.
I smiled when I peered over at her, seeing how the orange glow of it washed over the side of her face to softly illuminate her features. “Seems so, we got a lot done but he was on a roll by the end of it.” I told her in reply, shaking the pan again and blinking at the sizzle that sparked up, “What do you mean anyway? Finally.” I dragged out that last word in a small singsong which made her chuckle as she stood to her full height once more and turned.
“He’s been trying to write for a couple weeks now, I think. Or months.” She shrugged, stepping back to watch the mushrooms fry with a slight wrinkle of her nose, “Not sure, but he keeps complaining about it whenever he’s on the phone.”
With a small hum, my eyes flickered back over to her, then to the pan again, “He didn’t mention it.”
Rosie blew out a faint chuckle and leant back against the counter, knuckles wrapping around its edge, “Why would he? He hates jinxing himself.”
It was cute that she noticed things like that about him, something I’d begun to note in the short time I’d been staying with the two, but I didn’t know... A large part of me wished that Marshall would have said something about it before, or at least alluded to it. It made me feel a bit bad for bowing out so early now.
Still, my mind was quickly recaptured by the task at hand and then the story that Z deemed to tell me about, apparently a teacher thought that one of her friends was a shoo in for these auditions that they had coming up soon. The familiarity of the scene made me think back to Lottie, to everything that was happening back home, and I wished, silently and not for the first time, that it could be possible for a person to exist in two places at once.
The spuds took their time baking but soon enough they were ready and piping hot, fluffy on the inside and with a crisp exterior. Rosie gathered up the butter and cheese at my signal, face lighting up at the prospect of being able to drown her own in the latter, whilst I pinched the tops of the spuds with a clean tea towel and plated them up, spattering them with a small amount of herbs.
I was going to keep Marshall’s wrapped up in tinfoil, if only to save it from going all horrible before he had the chance to try such a delicacy, but thankfully he’d worked his way back up the stairs just in time. I wondered how he’d managed it.
“Hey, you’ve got table duty.” Rosie exclaimed as soon as she saw him bustling over the threshold, handing the cutlery she was already holding to him without a second thought, which caused Em to blink down at his hands whilst he struggled not to drop the sudden weight he'd just been shafted with.
“‘Scuse me?” Marshall prompted, brow furrowed as his gaze wandered about the rest of the kitchen. I wondered what he thought of the bubbling pot of red sauce sitting on the hob, as well as the absurd amount of butter both Rosie and I had already lumped onto our steaming plates.
“You can set the table, Dad.” Z explained as she jumped back to help me with the mushrooms, her voice edging the line of a whining lilt, “We cooked! So it’s only fair.”
Marshall stared at her for a second longer before he ultimately snorted, “Right.” He murmured, recapturing his hold on the silver he held and eyes finding mine, before he spun round on his heel and left the room once again with a small smirk. When he returned, his plate was almost ready and just about to be loaded up with– “The hell’s that?”
I withheld my snarky reply in favour of smirking when Rosie answered for me, her eyes widening in the face of her father’s obvious leery expression. “Beans, Dad. El told me it’s one of her favourite meals, she wanted to share it with us.”
It wasn’t hard to hear the undertone there, the kind that told him to keep quiet on how he felt about the bubbling bowl I was currently holding because Z obviously didn’t want me feeling disheartened in any way. It was adorable, as was the stern face she’d paired with it, the same face that her dad found hard to waver against. His shoulders slumped ever so.
“Right.” He repeated for the second time tonight, dragging the first syllable out a tad, “Looks good?” He tried.
I had to laugh then, “That a question or statement, Mathers?”
His eyes flickered over to meet mine, but I motioned for Rosie to get a start on heaping the cheese we’d grated onto her plate, the girl’s responding grin was giant.
“I–” Em appeared stumped for a split second before he eventually just pressed his lips together and decided to jump in on helping us. Although he did complain when he spotted the frying pan sat off to the side, “Mushrooms too?” But with Rosie’s short warning of Dad, Marshall only appeared to raise his hands in mock surrender and then moved over to grab the plates so that he could carry them off into the next room.
I shared a conspiratorial smile with the younger girl before we followed after him, the three of us settling into the same seats as we had occupied the day before. Marshall still looked wary, even with his beans being hidden beneath a thick layer of cheese that I figured he had reasoned to himself would mask whatever taste was under it, but Z, to my utter surprise, looked ready to dig in.
“Changed your tune there, lovely.” I mentioned with a sly smirk, my gaze lingering on her long enough to catch the sheepish reaction she bore before she just shrugged and dipped her head around a grin, fork already in hand.
“Smells good.” Was the excuse she used and so I softened my face into a smile too.
“Well you helped so of course it does,” I quipped easily, picking up my fork as well before nudging Em’s forearm, “Come on, you big baby. Just try it. If you hate it, I’ll order you whatever you want. On me.”
That had him rolling his eyes, but he picked up his knife and fork with a determined expression.
I bit back a round of chuckles I could feel bubbling in my throat and used my chin to getsure for the pair of them to get stuck in. Rosie was quick to tear into hers and I was silently thankful for the way the potato easily broke apart under her knife, its texture fluffy and golden.
“Oh wow, this is so good.” She blew out the second that she could, already moving onto her next bite whilst Marshall was still working his way up to trying his own. “When you first showed me those beans? I was so sure I was gonna puke.”
I snorted quietly at that image, perfectly content with the plate of home I’d gone and conjured up for us, whilst Em’s face wrinkled. “Well if you had hated it, you’d have only had your Dad to blame, he’s the one who bought them.”
“I jus’ looked up British shit, they were top five on every list.” Marshall defended before he finally took a bite, slow in the way he raised his fork to his mouth, his eyebrows raising a little as he let the taste settle in, “Shit.”
My eyes narrowed a tad around the smile that I was chewing on to keep hidden but I watched him cut further into the potato, beans and melted cheese puddling around the sides. “That a good shit or bad shit?”
“Three dollars.” Z acknowledged, voice muffled by the food she still had in her mouth.
I laughed at that and shook my head in fond amusement before I turned to Em for an answer. He took another bite, a big one, something I took to be a good sign, and just nodded. My brow quirked in hope. “So good?”
He hummed, one shoulder shrugging, “Ain’t gone die if I finish it.”
Snorting, I could only shake my head at him, hiding my smile behind my fist. “Idiot. You like it.”
Marshall rolled his eyes, though the gesture was obviously fond as he raised his fork to point at me, “Just grateful you didn’t burn down my damn house.”
Rosie’s giggles filled the room and with them we all settled in to enjoy. Marshall asked after his daughter’s day and the girl was all too happy to ramble and rant to him, face lighting up at the prospect of it. She mentioned her English lesson, the book they had started on and how her teacher had explained this one paragraph to her class, then she went into detail about the play that was set to happen just before the Christmas break. I chimed in here and there, putting in my two cents where it was worth, but in truth, I was perfectly content to simply listen and watch on.
The clean up that followed was mainly made up of me and Z messing around and singing to the music Em had stuck on, never the type to linger in silence. The pair of us did manage to rope the man into joining us once he had loaded up the dishwasher though, something he thoroughly complained about but followed through on all the same. He was just a sucker for his kid's smile, I reckoned, went above and beyond for the girl and it was all too easy to see.
It was a lot later that we all fell into a comfortable silence around the tele, Rosie sat crossed legged on the sofa with her homework whilst I offered help whenever asked. Marshall had joined the two of us a little later, after his phone had rang and he’d stepped out to take the call, he’d padded into the room with only the explanation of ‘Royce’ before he’d fallen into the seat beside me. I’d hummed but was too distracted by Rosie’s newest question to prod him further on it.
By the time she had finished up, handwriting practically perfect, her books had fallen into a heap on the coffee table and she’d slowly but surely scootched her way further up the sofa. I kept my eyes on the tele when I’d outstretched an arm in quiet invitation but hadn’t missed the grin she’d given in turn before she’d settled into my side, head coming to rest on my thigh. I caught Marshall’s watchful stare from out of the corner of my eye but didn’t glance back over, smiling at the scene that played out on the screen whilst my hand smoothed over the girl’s hair.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed between us before Marshall’s quiet cough broke the peace we’d since created, but the sky was more of a hazy cast of dark blue now rather than the ruddy auburn that had lined it much earlier. I stifled a small yawn.
Rosie sniffed softly in my lap, twisting a tad to cast her Dad a quizzical glance. Throughout the duration of the film that Z had picked out for us to watch, the man had gotten close enough that he now only had to drop his shoulders to poke at her cheek.
“Bath and bed, kid.”
The scrunch that overwhelmed Rosie’s face at the order had me grinning and so I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before moving my hand to pat her shoulder. “Up and at ‘em, soldier. Heard what the old man said.”
“Do I have to?” Z huffed, just as a hand came up to rub at her eye. Marshall’s mouth ticked ever so slightly into an amused smirk, his fingers replacing mine in an effort to smooth the front of her hair.
“School tomorrow.” He reminded her all too gently, dropping his hand lower to shuck the underside of her chin which only made the girl smile sleepily. “You know the deal.”
She sighed heavily in retort, but did eventually make the move to push herself up and out of my lap, legs stretching across the couch cushions before her feet found the floor. It was just as she went to stand that she turned to face me though, her expression a little meek but rapidly losing the residual somnolence it had just held. “Will you do my hair again for me tomorrow?”
I was caught by surprise at the question she’d asked. I wouldn’t lie, but I didn’t let the reaction show as I smiled warmly back at her, reaching out to tap a finger on the top side of her hand, “‘Course. Anything you want, lovely.”
Rosie’s little grin had her eyes squinting and forced the corners of her mouth to pinch upwards in a move that only deepened her dimples. She leaned over to give me a hug of thanks, whispering the word into my ear before she pulled away and rounded the sofa, kissing her Dad’s cheek on her way out.
“No messin’ about, Z. An early night, ‘kay?” Em reminded her, leaning against the back of the couch so that he could tilt his head far enough to see her, “I’ll be up soon.” He added, his words met by another charming grin whilst she shook her head in fond exasperation and slipped out of the room, leaving just the pair of us and the tv.
It was a long while before Marshall disturbed the quiet once more, the film we’d been watching had finished some time ago and so now all that was playing on the screen was a couple repeats of South Park and the odd advertisement. “She’s different with you.” I heard him voice.
With a furrowed brow, I let my head turn to find him. He was perched in the same position he had been, but now with an arm stretched along the back of the sofa and a knee bent to fill the small gap that still separated us. “What d’you mean?”
When he replied, it was low and soft, a murmur if not for the sincerity behind it. “She don’t act like that ‘round nobody.” He told me, fingers jumping in a steady rhythm on the back of the cushion, his eyes peering between mine. “Me, sure. She’s a fuckin’ koala when she wants to be, but with other people… it’s something she second guesses.”
His words confused me. Or rather, threw me. “I don’t get it.”
He dropped his gaze, blowing out a small but mirthful huff through his nose, his thumb dragged along the edge of the sofa. “You known her what, three days? And she don’t think about gettin’ close to you. Sure she’ll be coy with it, sly even, but that’s ‘cause she don’t wanna overstep with you. Like that right there–” Em said, getsuring his chin out towards my lap, I followed the gesture, then blinked back up at him, remembering the way she’d approached me, “She don't do that with people.”
My face must have given away to the fact that I was still trying to process the weight of what he meant, because his smile was soft, warm even.
It made me think of Lottie, who was always so open with her affection, who gave it out without thought or focus, her smile always great, always there. Then of myself. I tended to avoid affection where it mattered, a reason as to why I’d never let many people too close to my heart, why I hadn’t had something fulfilling to divulge when Marshall and I had spoken about past exes, I supposed. It baffled me to see some of the same tendencies I’d shown growing up in Rosie, in a girl too sweet, too loving, too happy to be so aware of how to guard herself.
I looked to him again and let him have his fill, allowed him to see how his words, the sentiment behind them, had pierced through the armour I’d long since moulded around myself.
One side of his mouth lifted and he used the hand resting on the back of the sofa to circle my wrist, leaning in a little closer, filling that previous gap. “Ro’s had her mom, her sister. They’ve been there. They love her, and she loves them. I know that. But with Kim, it ain’t always parentin’, it’s fun and games. It’s showin’ off, not showin’ up. It’s messin’ around until she finally grows–”
He paused there, eyes flickering left and then right as his tongue swiped over his lower lip, almost as though he was resentful of the term he wished to use.
He settled for, “Bored. Or maybe jus’ tired, you know? She’s there until it's her time to step up and do the job she’s ‘sposed to, til it's missed recitals and forgetting pick-up, that’s when she reacts. Pulls away.”
He sighed, gaze caught on his fingers, on the easy way they engulfed my wrist. His thumb brushed over the freckle that dotted the bone, and continued on through a slow exhale, “Ayla, she’s a lot older. She does her own thing, she’s got school, work, friends. Z obviously filters into all that, but there's always been a small divide. I like to think it’s just ‘cause of their ages– it’s how me and Nate worked growin’ up, you know? But there’s this whole idea that fuckin’ messes with my head, like maybe it's all down to me. Ayla’s my niece, but she’ll always be one of my own. I love that girl as much as I love Rosie. More than life itself. But I know I hurt her, havin’ her here, watchin’ me fail and fuck up whilst she was growin’ up. And jus’, maybe I can’t help but wonder if I ever let her know that enough, that I loved her, if it’s that that’s impacted her relationship with Z.”
I was quick in my attempt to soothe his doubts, the hand he didn’t hold jumping over to lay across the top of his own. “I’d call you an idiot, but I reckon you already know that.” I chuckled halfheartedly, though my smile was genuine when his eyes snapped up to meet my own, “You’re an amazing father, Em. I honestly believe that with my whole heart. And it doesn’t take much to see it either. I mean, I was here not even a day and was so quick to see the love you held for your daughter. I saw it in your reactions too when we called, when you spoke of them, however brief it was. I haven’t met Ayla but I don’t think I’d have to for me to see that your worries are just that, worries. I’m sure that girl loves you in the very same sense that I am sure that she knows you love her. That you see her as much more than just your niece.”
My thumb trailed over the back of his hand, skimming knuckles, taking in their slight discoloration, the faint white lines that could have only been age old scars. I dipped my head a tad so that my gaze could align with his shadowed blues, prompting him into lifting his eyes from off the floor.
“I’m also honoured that you think Rosie’s comfortable enough around me to mention the gravity behind it, that you’d trust me with her company, let alone her affection.” I said sweetly, gifting him another smile, it was close lipped but one that appled my cheeks. His stare caught onto it, fingers tightening around my wrist by a fraction in a squeeze that showed only his appreciation. So I squeezed back, fingers fastening over the top of his fist. “Z’s hard not to love, she’s all of your best parts and more. Sometimes…”
I took a small breath, fretful over saying what I had intended to until Marshall met my flickering gaze once more, silently prompting me on. I swallowed thickly, feeling the force of it travel through my throat, but did follow through, “Sometimes it’s just hard raising kids, I guess not everyone’s made out for the harsher reality of it all. Of having to be a parent and not a friend. I mean, it was forced on me in a way, I’ve been raising my siblings since Danny the day came along, since before I knew what being a mum meant. What one was.” The weight of that admission had me reeling for a split second, at the truth it held. But I pursed my lips before allowing my eyes to find Marshall’s once more, “Kim, I’m sure she tries, I’m sure it’s more than my mum ever did, ever could do, but it’s okay for you to fear that it’s not enough for Z, too.”
Marshall worked his jaw, blinking for a second before he eventually spoke, voice rasping with the emotion he felt. “Kid deserves the world.”
I found myself grinning at that, the teary kind which glossed over your eyes but was strong enough that you couldn’t prevent the fluid motion of it. It was without thought that my arms came up to wind their way around his neck and I relaxed further in the gesture when I eventually felt his face come to rest against my shoulder.
“She does.” I murmured, hand cupping the back of his neck, fingers resting over the fine hair which lined his nape. “She does.” I heard myself repeat again as my eyes slipped closed.
When we parted, I watched as Em knuckled the corner of his eye, grunting faintly to clear his throat and rid the room of any tension that then clouded us. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch, but did look away towards the tele when he started to shift once more, giving him a sense of security that he hadn’t been caught out, that I wouldn’t dig too deeply into his reaction.
“Thanks.” He murmured after a stunted moment and it was only then that I glanced back over to him. I smiled in turn.
“Nothing to thank me for.”
When we parted ways for the night, I chose to head on up to bed, mind so full of thoughts that I found it hard to latch onto a singular one, whilst Marshall stopped at the bottom of the staircase to gift me a quiet goodnight, eyes caught on the reflection of moonlight that crept its way across my cheek, the sight mirrored on his own face.
I didn’t know it then but I would eventually, he’d never felt so inspired.
So as I’d slipped beneath my duvet, my mind stuck on the words we’d shared, Marshall was back down in the studio, writing away once more. But this time, it was for a completely different reason.
#eminem#marshall mathers#fic#slim shady#x reader#oc#eminem x reader#humor#imagine#x singer#eminem imagine#famous reader#oc insert#vmas#meet cute#strangers to lovers#slow burn#drama#real slim shady#writer#writers on tumblr#famous people#music#celebs#eminem x#series#when it comes to love
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mark couldn’t help it. he couldn’t help but to place his hand over his pants, palming himself when the only thing racing through his mind was how pretty u looked today, ordering a coffee from the cafe that he worked at. he thinks about how u pursed ur lips, reading the menu in concentration, the way ur chest heaved up and down when u came running into the store, escaping the rain. a groan catches in his throat, knowing that this was so wrong, getting off to someone he’s never even talked to, but oh god did it feel so right when his hands slipped past his waistband, fingers curling around himself. the outline of his hardening dick was too prominent thanks to the plaid pyjama pants he wore. he bit his lip, inhaling deep breaths as his hand started stroking himself. he remembers the spark he felt when ur hands brushed his as u handed him ur credit cared, he imagined it was ur hands that were rubbing against his skin right now, ur hands that were playing with the warm pre-cum that was dripping out of his swollen tip. the little voice in the back of his head was still telling him that it wasn’t too late to stop, but all he could hear was how silky smooth ur voice was ordering a drink, he wished he could listen to all the pretty sounds u would make if he was buried inside u. his pace quickens at this fantasy, imagining that he was fucking u right now, not his right hand. groaning at the thought of how good he would feel surrounded by ur warmth, his hips thrusting up into his fist harder and faster. his grip tightens when he remembers how ur white tshirt had gone slightly see through from the rain, how he must’ve been the only one who had the honour to see the traces of ur blue lace bra before u threw a crewneck on top. he couldn’t help but smile at the fact that u were wearing his favourite colour. his deep breathing now morphing into shallow whines with how long the pleasure has been building up inside. it’s the thought of ur pure, innocent smile that pushes him over the edge. the orgasm causing a string of swears being grunted out. his hips sputtering at the thought of cumming all over ur sweet face. his hands continue stroking, milking himself for everything he has. the clarity starts to settle and shame creeps over him at that fact that he really did just get off to a total stranger. but the shame didn’t last long when he discovers that none of his cum spilled and he doesn’t have to change his sheets, grateful for the fact that he was so horny, he didn’t even bother to take off his pants.
ngl smoothie dance practice mark has me in such a chokehold i had three other scenarios i started writing for him but they were all getting SO long i had to stop myself 🧍♂️ mark pls hmu i want u so bad 🙏
- 🌱
GODDDDD WHY MEEEE... perv mark who doesn't even realize he's being a little perv... i need him. 🌱 anon get in line bc i need him FIRST!!!!!
he would tell himself it wouldn't matter that he got off to you. it was probably just a one time thing that you came to the coffee shop he worked at. if he doesn't have to see you, it doesn't matter that he came in his pants because he'll probably never see you again anyways.
except, there you are again, pretty smile on your face as you enter the cafe. you're not drenched this time, but you are wearing a low-cut top. you're quick to order this time, same order as last time. mark tries so hard not to stare too hard at your chest, but when you hand him your card, he takes a moment too long to grab it, too busy staring at you. you clear your throat, and you're met with a sheepish look as his face turns red.
he's trying hard not to mess up your order, hands fumbling all around in embarrassment. he's also trying very hard not get a boner at his job where quite literally anyone can see him. when he calls out your order, he swears that your hand lingers on his for a while, and he swears it's on purpose. he watches you walk away, saying goodbye to him as you go about your day.
he waves goodbye to you. although he said it was a one time thing, he might just have to fuck his fist again tonight because of you.
#asks#🌱 anon#nct smut#mark lee smut#mark lee hard hours#OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE#now i kinda want to make this into a fic#🌱 anon can u please consider letting me make this into a fic#i think it would be fun to write#ONLY IF YOU WANT THOUGH
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clingy
words: 2,009 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request) “what about austin with someone even touchier than him. maybe fans start saying she’s always clinging on him so she gets self conscious in public but austin notices right away” warnings: none notes: prompt just slightly different from request-- this can be read in tandem with ‘touch’ but isn’t necessary. requests are back open for now :) thanks to anyone who's left me one! appreciate it xx tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylespresleyhearted
Frowning at a few candid photos posted on Instagram, you scroll through the comments. You usually don't allow yourself to go down this rabbit hole because it shouldn't (and doesn't) matter what people think about you and Austin. No one is in this relationship except the two of you, you know that's the only thing that matters...and yet, these comments are burning into your eyes and imprinting on the back of your mind. It's mostly because it's spiteful, they're not fooling you on that, but that doesn't make them any easier to read.
There's a set of photos of you and Austin at a cafe last week that had a patio, enjoying the pleasant weather while you could. Austin is seated in one of the chairs, a pair of sunglasses and a ballcap on as he drinks his iced coffee. You're standing between his legs in the first photo and then you're sitting in his lap the second. Not that you need to justify this to anyone, but the patio was practically empty and you weren't disturbing anyone's afternoon. It's not like you were making out or somehow making this interaction obscene. You're typically seated on Austin's lap, it's so automatic at this point that he'll often find your hand and tug you to sit down on him—zero complaints.
Regardless that these strangers are not entitled to any background information, you know that might change a few people's opinions as they spit out nasty comments.
elvislover: you can tell he's super uncomfortable—like, yikes ericatownton: she literally does not give him a moment to breathe austinfan: #clingyaintcute
There are some bright spots,
austin345: can some of ya'll mind your own business? austin looks so happy in these? i don't get some of these comments shannonhyat: they're so cute! wish i could sit on austin like that, ngl eyeswithwonder: find yourself a man who looks at you like austin looks at Y/N—like she's hung the moon bro
but sometimes those aren't enough.
You've always been the touchy type—ever since your first boyfriend, but maybe it's gone beyond that, you've reached out and squeezed someone's arm while laughing, you're easy to hug to express emotion, and God, definitely super cuddly when you get a bit drunk. People who have never been your friends have called you a flirt or, just like the comments you're seeing, clingy...but you've never really found anything wrong with it. It's one of your love languages, how you best convey how you're feeling—and it's not like Austin isn't the same way.
He's big on touch, ever since you've known him, even when you two were just friends. Always with the hands on your hips, your waist, your lower back, fingers through your hair or playfully gripping your chin or absentminded centers of connection, knees against knees, shin along shin, shoulders brushing. He's never been shy about it...so why all of a sudden do you feel like you need to be?
You have no idea why you’re letting this bother you—Austin has never said anything that’s hinted that he’s uncomfortable, and you know he’d tell you. You really hate that this has gotten so underneath your skin.
You debate on whether you want to mention something to Austin or not, maybe talk about it or just…ask if there’s any merit in thinking you’re too clingy, if you should back off a little? But you never manage to get the words out of your mouth.
Setting your phone face down, you look up as Austin comes in from a night out with some cast members. He had asked originally asked if you wanted to join but you had dinner with your agent that you couldn’t miss (because it’d already been rescheduled twice).
“Hi,” He says warmly and walks over to where you’re seated on one of the stools at the island table. You hum as he leans down to press a kiss to your lips, slow and intimate, body heat rolling off his skin.
He smells like cologne and just a twinge of cigarette smoke, alcohol, intoxicating in a way it probably shouldn’t be. You find yourself closing your eyes as he leans a bit against you, not drunk but definitely tipsy, a lazy smile on his face as he pulls back. You smirk, reaching up to thread your fingers through his wild curls.
“Have a good time?”
“Would have been better with you,” He replies matter-of-factly, slipping his jacket off and setting it on one of the other stools. Austin clears his throat, getting a good look at you for a moment and pauses, “You alright?”
He knows you, lifts his hand to curl his pointer finger and brush it across the crinkling of your skin between your eyebrows. Far too well.
This could be your moment but…it feels foolish to mention it. Not only because Austin’s a bit inebriated and it wouldn’t be right to draw him into this conversation, but because the longer you sit with these thoughts, the more silly they feel. Right?
“Yeah,” You lie through your teeth, giving him a soft smile. “M’just tired, got a headache.”
He hums lightly, moving to press a long kiss to your forehead. “I can make you some tea.”
You let out a laugh which is mostly air leaving your nose, “You are swaying on your feet,” You cup his cheek, amused and fond, “Shouldn’t I be taking care of you?” You lean up to press a kiss to the bridge of his nose.
He crinkles it but smiles down at you, “What’d you have in mind?”
You playfully tap his cheek, “Bed—maybe a shower.”
Austin purses his lips, seemingly in thought for a moment before he nods—and then ever so quickly scoops you up into his arms. It’s haphazard and ridiculous and you can’t help but laugh as he carries you towards the bathroom,
“Hey! I didn’t mean with me.” And you can’t stop yourself from laughing, Austin teasingly grabbing at your ass. He barely turns the water to the shower on before he sets you down, drawing you into a kiss.
--
It’s been a relatively lazy day which you’ve seriously come to appreciate, it’s not often that you get many of them to spare. You’ve spent the morning with Austin browsing a large farmer’s market, deciding on fresh fruit and vegetables and handmade products that you probably don’t need but are indulging on. It’s fun, calming—it’s in moments like these where you can kinda forget how crazy your day to day lives can be. There’s comfort in that normalcy together.
You decide to go to the same bistro on the corner from your apartment for lunch, a place that you both have been before countless times because of the great food and rich coffee. Not to mention that you’re slightly obsessed with the beautiful patio outside that’s perfect for a little fresh air and spots of sun. It fills up fast but this is where it pays to be a bit of a celebrity—when Austin calls ahead, they make a table up for him, no matter how busy they are.
Can’t deny that you kinda love that perk as you pick at some fries on your plate next to a finished sandwich, full and content, legs under the table pressing into Austin’s as he talks about his upcoming project. You can’t help but smile as he talks with his hands, animated, excited for what’s to come because he deserves every single moment of it.
There are small moments of enjoyable silence, just sitting in one another's company, the hand that's not eating fries sitting loosely on the table. Austin's hand finds yours automatically, something so automatic that it makes your stomach do a complete flip. Your eyes glance down to the rings on his slender fingers, running along yours, squeezing every so often. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth and you pick up your iced coffee to take a sip.
"Today was pretty great," You comment after the breeze picks up and flutters your hair. You run your fingers through it, adjusting sunglasses on your face.
"It was," Austin agrees, running his thumb along your knuckles, "You regret that we don't always have time for it?"
You give him a small smile, shaking your head, "No, course not. Just makes it that much more special when we do."
Austin hums, lifting your hand to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist. He then tugs, encouraging you to stand, and you already know where this is going before it happens. This is something you do all the time—you share food or coffee together and find yourself on Austin's lap. Even on this crowded patio, you're tucked into one of the end corners near the lines of bushes for a bit of privacy, your stomach clenches with nerves in a way it's never done before. You can't help but think about all those stupid comments, burning letters into the back of your vision.
You completely tense up, freeze in spot.
Austin notices automatically, of course, his eyebrows drawing together in soft confusion as he looks up at you, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," You reply, too quickly, shaking your head--he can read right through you, Austin's always been good at that.
He lets out a soft sigh out of his nose, holding your gaze for a long moment, blue eyes boring into yours. And yet, you can't seem to move. Curling your hair around your ear, you glance at the other tables, expecting to see eyes on you, maybe people taking candid photos to appear online later...and yet there's nothing. Of course there's nothing.
"You're shaking," He replies gently, standing now from his chair. He runs both of his hands down your arms, squeezing, “What’s goin’ on?”
You almost want to brush it aside but Austin’s locked in now, he’s not going to let you. So you briefly roll your eyes towards the sky, a shaky laugh following, “You’re gonna think it’s ridiculous.”
“I doubt it.” He encourages.
Chewing on your lower lip, you give a soft nod, “Uhm—do you…do you think I’m clingy? Like, as a girlfriend?”
His eyebrows draw together in confusion, unsure of how you’re topic jumping to this and it looks like he might want to smirk but doesn’t because he can tell you’re upset. “I think…both of us enjoy attention through touch, there’s nothin’ wrong with that though. Doesn’t make you clingy.”
He keeps your gazes connected, making sure you hear him, that the words register and you find yourself nodding once. The ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth and Austin cups your cheek, shifting you into a kiss that lasts a good handful of moments. You know he’s doing it on purpose too, keeping you close, drawing it out.
When he pulls back, he playfully nips at your lower lip, making your smile much more genuine, “And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”
You hum in acknowledgement because Austin knows, of course he knows where you were coming from. You’re not sure whether that means he’s been on social media too or can just sense it—you’ve talked about pap photos before, candids posted by fans. It’s never really bothered you until now. It means a lot that he sees you, without having to explain or justify how you feel. You definitely love him for that.
“Now,” Austin says, sitting back down in his chair, “C’mere.” He motions towards himself with his fingers.
You can’t help but laugh warmly, taking Austin’s hand and allowing him to tug you over to him. Sitting down on his lap, perched on his one leg like it’s the simplest thing in the world, you lean your shoulder against his chest. He smiles up at you, hooking a finger underneath your chin to draw you into a kiss. It’s slow and sweet, no cares in the world—especially for anyone who might be looking.
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler imagine#austin butler fic#elvis 2022#mccall writes things
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