#i wish i could live outside my head without the alcohol

[kittykatinabag]

I'm so funny. I'm so cute. Why am I single?

[triptuckers]

drunk in love - remy lebeau

Request: nope Pairing: remy lebeau x reader Summary: remy is comes home drunk, so you take care of him Warnings: mentions of alcohol, language, mentions of sexual themes/making out but not actually the real thing dont worry, remy being a whiny lovesick puppy, one mention of throwing up but no actual throwing up Word count: 1.7K A/N: currently binge watching x men 97 PLEASE give me more gambit content pls marvel I'm willing to beg you on my knees. based on a screenshot I saw of a comic page. enjoy!

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you're sitting on the couch, reading your book. it's dark outside, and the clock on the wall tells you it's way too late for you to be awake. you weren't a night owl, but this book was just too good. every time you want to put it away, a chapter ends in a cliffhanger. you couldn't bring yourself to close it without finding out what happened next.

the story is so good and you're so focused on it, you nearly jump out of your skin when you hear the door knob rattle.

it was late and remy wasn't home. he went out drinking with some of the other x-men. it wasn't often they were all free and in the same city, so you knew if it did happen, remy would usually stay out til late. not coming home til long after you'd gone to bed already.

you weren't expecting him to come home this early, so you're immediately on guard. slowly, you put your book down and creep closer to the front door. you grab the closest thing you can find to use as a weapon. you don't know how much damage a tissue box could do, but at the very least you could throw it at the intruder and run away.

remy had tried to teach you some self defence tricks in case something happened and he wasn't home, but he was nearly always right there with you, so you never really learned it.

you wish you had paid him more attention now.

as you get closer to the front door, you see a shadow silhouetted against the glass. and then you hear a voice, cursing while trying to open the door.

'merde... why won't this fucking key fit... fuck off...'

you unlock the door and open it. maybe a little too quickly, because remy all but stumbles into you. you barely manage to catch him.

when he looks up at you, he gives you a dazzling smile with his eyes half closed. 'hello, mon amour.' he says.

you laugh softly and roll your eyes as you shake your head. of course he'd stumble home drunk. you already know your evening is far from over when he's like this.

'come on.' you say. 'let's get you inside.'

remy does a spectacularly bad job at getting up. and he's heavy.

'remy.' you say, holding on to him. 'work with me here.'

you manage to get him inside and lock the door again. remy is looking at you with a smile on his face.

'I hadn't expected you back yet.' you say, walking into the kitchen.

remy follows you and grabs one of your hands with both of his.

'I missed you, chéri.' he says, pulling you close and nuzzling his face in your neck.

'we live together, remy. I saw you this afternoon.' you say.

you feel his lips press against the side of your neck. you briefly close your eyes and allow yourself to revel in the feeling. then you gently push him away.

you hear remy whine and turn to see him pout at you.

'you don't love me anymore?' he says.

'of course I do, my love.' you say. 'but you're drunk. you need to drink some water and go to bed.'

you grab a clean glass and walk over to the sink. as you're filling it up with water, you can sense remy's presence behind you. seconds later, you feel his hands on your hips and his chin on your shoulder.

you mange to turn around in his arms and hand him the glass of water.

'drink up.'

'can I get a kiss afterwards?'

you roll your eyes. you don't want to admit you think it's adorable when he's this handsy and affectionate. you would only encourage him and you really meant it: you wouldn't do anything when he's drunk. he'd do the same if the roles were reversed.

'sure, love, you can get a kiss afterwards.'

you have to hold back your laughter as remy's eyes light up and he downs the glass in one go. you smirk and blow him a kiss before he can lean in.

'hey, what the fuck! no fair!' he exclaims, frowning.

'come on.' you say, holding out your hand to him. 'let's go to bed.'

he all but stumbles over his feet in his haste to grab your hand and follow you.

'yeah, let's go to bed.' you hear remy say behind you. you can tell by the tone in his voice you two have different ideas about 'going to bed'.

'to sleep, remy.' you clarify.

he sighs so loudly you can feel his breath on the back of your neck. you smile to yourself, amused at how fast his moods change when he's drunk. and about the fact he's such a love sick puppy when he's had a few. that is, more of a love sick puppy than he normally is. god, he really loves you.

when you get to your bedroom, you motion for remy to sit down on the bed. you kneel down to untie his boots.

'loving this view, mon amour.' comes remy's voice from above you. 'you know I love it when you get on your knees for me.'

'I'm just taking off your boots.'

'sure you are.'

'I am, remy.'

'are you sure?'

'yes, I am sure.'

remy sighs dramatically and lets himself fall back onto the bed. you glance up at him and see how tight his pants are. of course he'd not only be overly affectionate, but also turned on.

you tug off his boots and socks, raising to your feet.

'stand up for me, please.' you say.

remy opens his eyes and smirks at you from his position on the bed.

'now this view, I like.'

'it's literally so late remy, come on, I want to go to bed.'

he takes a hold of the hand you offer him and lets you pull him to his feet. you reach out to undo his belt.

'wow, chéri, buy me dinner first.' remy mumbles above you. you can tell by his quiet voice he's ready to go to sleep but fighting to stay awake. you wonder how much of this he'll remember tomorrow.

after undoing his belt and helping him out of his pants, you tell him to put his arms up so you can pull his shirt over his head. he does what you ask and doesn't even make a flirty comment about it. that tells you his tiredness is really kicking in.

you briefly step away to get a pair of sweatpants and a shirt out of the closet. as you hand them to him, you allow remy to rest his hand on your shoulder as he puts on the pants you've given him. you let your eyes linger on his muscular chest as he puts on the shirt. you really did get lucky with him, even if he can't keep his hands off of you when he's drunk.

you gently guide him to the bed and help him lay down. you get into the bed next to him and feel how remy pulls you closer, burying his face in your neck.

'you will kiss me tomorrow, right?' he mumbles against your skin.

you run your hands lazily through his hair. 'if you aren't hungover as fuck, which I think you will be, then yes, I'll kiss you, my love.' you say.

'oh fuck yes.' he says, making you chuckle softly.

'goodnight, remy.' you say.

'sweet dreams, mon amour.' he says.

just as you expected, remy falls asleep within seconds. you lay there for a while, absently running your fingers through his hair and thinking about how much you love him, before you eventually fall asleep as well.

when you wake up in the morning, your chest feels heavy. you open your eyes to see remy has somehow put his entire body on yours during the night.

you stay like that for a while, until you can no longer deny you really want breakfast.

with some effort, you push remy off of you so you can get up. he's still asleep as you lean in and press a kiss to his cheek.

as you make breakfast, you're softly humming to yourself while you're in the kitchen.

your morning is quiet. you decide to let remy sleep for as long as he wants, maybe it would make his hangover less extreme.

just as you're making your lunch, you hear remy coming down the stairs. he stumbles into the kitchen, grumbling something in thick accented cajun you can't understand.

then he all but leans his entire body weight on you as he's standing behind you.

'why does the world hate me?' he says.

you laugh. 'good afternoon to you too, my love.'

'morning.' he mumbles. 'your voice is so loud, chéri.'

'this is the thanks I get for taking care of your drunk ass last night?'

'sorry. was I being an asshole?'

'no, just the usual. you couldn't keep your hands off of me.'

'you're used to that.'

'I am.'

you turn around. remy wraps his arms around you and drops his forehead to your shoulder.

'is this what dying feels like?' he mumbles.

'no, my love, this is what being extremely hungover feels like.' you say. 'you want coffee?'

'dear god no, the thought of it makes me want to throw up. I'll just lay on the couch.'

'you're so dramatic.' you say, gently taking a hold of his face and holding it in front of you.

remy closes his eyes and leans into your touch. 'this is making me feel better already.'

you lean in and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. when you pull back, he opens his eyes and smiles briefly at you. then he sways a bit on his feet and sucks in a sharp breath.

'still want to kiss me like you said yesterday?'

'oh, mon amour, I think if I stand really still and you don't move, the world stops spinning.'

you laugh at him as he groans, pressing one hand to his forehead. you decide to take it easy for the rest of the day. the two of you alternate between taking naps and you reading your book out loud to him. as the day passes, you can't help but to think that maybe a hungover remy isn't so bad. you secretly love how he refuses to leave your side when he's hungover.

A/N:If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost, steal or translate my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[munsonsmixtapes]

Joyride

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

I heard the song joyride by Kesha and had thoughts

word count: 4.2k

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) oral (f receiving) Eddie receives a handjob, hair pulling, Eddie has a slight degradation kink

Loud music blared from the speaker in the living room you were sitting in. You sipped on a warm cup of beer as you looked around at all of the dancing bodies, wondering what you were even doing there. If you were being honest, it was just for the free booze and that sucked too. If you had known that it was going to be that bad, you would have just stayed home with a bottle of wine and your vibrator to keep you company. 

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system-you had only had a few sips-but you found yourself pulling out your phone to send a text. You scrolled through all of your conversations when you came across a name that you had completely forgotten about. Well, tried to forget. You couldn’t have forgotten him even if you tried. The way his hands moved along your body and the words he had whispered in your ear were all imprinted in your brain. The things you thought when you were trying to get yourself off or even just trying to fall asleep. 

Without a second thought, you tapped on his name and quickly typed something out, sending it before you could think too much about it. You then stood up from the couch and made your way to the kitchen to pour out the disgusting drink and throw your cup away. There was no way that you were going to stay there another second. Not when you got something better waiting for you. Well, you hoped so. 

Eddie’s phone pinged on his nightstand and he paused the video game he was playing with Gareth to answer it. He had no idea who would have been texting him so late. One of them was sitting next to him and the others were either working or sleeping. Once he flipped his phone over, his eyes widened as your name flashed across the screen. 

That one night the two of you had spent together had lived in that man’s head rent free. The hottest moans he had ever heard echoed in the back of his head when he pleasured himself and he wished you were right there with him, sucking him off, taking all of him into your mouth like the little slut you were. 

I’ll be outside yours at midnight. Need your cock so bad.

He was so close to moaning just from reading your text. The woman he had fantasized for months was texting him to hook up so there was absolutely no way he was passing that up. He was going to fuck you until you were seeing stars, to the point where you wouldn’t be able to walk for days. Oh, he was going to do so much to you and he was going to enjoy every fucking second of it.

Your phone pinged in your purse as you put your jacket on, closing the front door of the house. You pulled it out and rolled your eyes at the response from Eddie. 

How bad? 

Typical Eddie, always wanting you to beg. But you liked it, maybe more than you were willing to admit. You quickly typed out a response and sent it before getting into your car and pulling out of the driveway.

I guess I can just get myself off, don’t worry about it.

You always were a brat. I think you need to be taught a lesson. 

On my way.

You locked your phone and focused on the road as you drove to Eddie’s, feeling your cunt getting even more wet as you thought about him fucking you until you were raw, until you couldn’t walk, needing him to carry you up to his room because you weren’t in a place to drive home. You then wanted him to eat you out, lapping up every last bit of your slick and his cum because you wanted him to fuck you without a condom, feeling his bare cock inside of you, wanting this time to be even better than the last. 

As soon as Eddie got your text, he threw on his jacket and rushed out the door, barely even bidding Gareth a goodbye as he hurried down the stairs, almost falling down them as he did so. He then rushed to put on some shoes before heading out the door, practically collapsing onto his porch because of how fast he was moving. 

Your car rolled up to the curb and Eddie watched the window roll down. He descended the steps of the porch, making a beeline for you, standing awkwardly in front of your door. He put his hands behind his back, looking like such a gentleman for someone who was so rough with you the one time you slept together. 

You pulled down your sunglasses, looking up and down. He was dressed in an oversized band t-shirt, a pair of jeans and a leather jacket on top. It was honestly unfair how he was able to look so hot in something so simple. You were really looking forward to taking it all off. 

“Get in, loser,” you nodded your head to the passenger seat. “We’re going for a joyride.” He took no time to round the hood of the car and get into the passenger seat. Once inside, he turned to you, taking in your outfit. You were wearing a top that could have passed for a bikini top with a pair of short shorts that barely covered your ass. On your feet were a pair of white go go boots and on top, you were wearing a very fluffy, cropped jacket. 

You looked so fucking hot. Eddie always thought you dressed well, but this had to be your best look yet. You removed your sunglasses and set them in one of the cup holders before turning to face Eddie, that seductive look in your eyes. You two hadn’t even done anything and he was convinced that he was going to cream his pants. 

Before Eddie could register what you were doing, you were unbuckling your seatbelt and crawling to the backseat. He watched you, letting his eyes drift to your ass, seeing it hanging out of your shorts, begging for him to give it a squeeze, maybe even a slap. He desperately wanted to leave hand prints on it as you begged for more, loving the sting the slaps left behind. 

He knew that you loved being degraded and he was more than happy to oblige. He wanted to tell you just how much a whore you were while he pounded into you, making you beg for more as you left scratches down his back, making him-

“Are you going to drool all night, Munson, or are you going to fuck me like you said you would? I’m still waiting for you to teach me that lesson.” You had now shed your jacket, giving Eddie a perfect view of your chest, your cleavage, your hardened nipples that he could see through the thin fabric. 

Without a word, he climbed to the backseat and planted himself right next to you, his thigh pressing to yours. His brown eyes bored into yours as he slowly brought his thumb up and brushed your bottom lip with a featherlight touch. You grabbed hold of his wrist and slowly pushed his thumb into your mouth, giving it a hard suck and Eddie was damn near close to cumming right there in his pants. 

You looked up at him, your eyes staring into his as you continued to suck on his thumb, loving how you were able to make him come completely undone just by watching you sucking on him. He let out a moan as he thought about you doing the same thing to his cock. You had done it before and the image of your pretty lips wrapped around him was something that haunted still months later. 

You slowly removed his thumb from your mouth and and slowly rested your hands on his shoulders, inching your face closer to his, knowing exactly what he was wanting but needing him to beg for it. You were desperate to hear him whine for you, all but getting on his knees, whimpering that he needed you to fuck him right then and there. 

Eddie could feel your breath hitting his lips and he let out a shuddering breath, his hands moving to your waist, feeling your warm, soft skin underneath his hands. Your lips met his in a featherlight touch, slowly slotting together. They moved together as you tried to figure it out, but as soon as you got the hang of it, it became messy and rough. 

Your tongue swiped along his bottom lip, licking back and forth in a teasing manner and he was quick to open up, letting you inside. Your tongues tangled together in a sloppy manner as you pushed off each other’s jackets, letting them clatter to the floorboard. 

Your hand slowly traveled down to his, lightly brushing his rock hard cock that was tenting in his pants. You then pulled away, your hands moving to the button of his jeans, unbuttoning as slow as possible as a way to tease him, staring at his face, hearing that pretty whine pass his lips as he was growing frustrated with how slowly you were looking. 

“Look how hard you are,” you said. “And we haven’t even done anything.” You zipped down his pants and pushed them down to his thighs then pulled down his boxers, his cock springing free. 

“Been thinking about me, huh? About what we got up to last time?” 

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered, his breathing becoming labored. 

“Need me to take care of this?” You asked, looking down at his dick that was already leaking precum. 

“Please,” he whined and you spit into your hand before pumping slowly, Eddie already letting out a moan as you did so. Good. He was right where you wanted him. 

You watched his eyes close as pleasure rolled through him, your movements getting even faster. He’d never tell you that this was exactly what he had been wanting for months, the whole scenario plaguing his mind more than he was willing to admit. Anytime he jacked off, he would imagine that it was your hand, your filthy words of encouragement filling his ears as he orgasmed, your lips connecting with his afterwards as you told him that he was a good boy. 

Your pumps got faster and Eddie was feeling embarrassed that he was already close, the thing building inside him, on the very tip of his tongue as he felt his vision go hazy. 

“Fuck,” he swore and you felt yourself getting wet as you watched him reach completion, loving how you were able to get him there in record speed. 

As he was coming down, you removed your shorts, making sure that he was watching, your movements slow as to give him a show, a treat for being such a good boy. His eyes moved down to your thong, a tiny white thing that you had worn with the intention of someone seeing them. You had secretly hoped that someone would have been him. 

“Wanna take them off?” You asked, tucking your thumbs into each side of the waistband, gingerly pulling them down to give him a peek, but not the whole thing. 

He didn’t respond, just scooted closer and ripped them off of you, a gasp leaving your mouth at how quick he was. You then pushed him onto his back, his eyes widening at how confident you had gotten since you had last seen each other. 

“I don’t have a condom,” you told him. 

“Me neither.” 

“But I’m on birth control and I really want to feel you inside me.” Your voice was so whiny and pleading that there was no way that Eddie was going to deny you. He would have given you whatever you wanted if you were going to talk to him like that. 

You climbed on top of him and you both let out loud moans as he entered you. Your hands moved to his shoulders and his went to your waist, the two of you moving together slowly to remember what it was like to be connected in that way. 

But as you got used to it, your movements got faster, your tits bouncing as you rode his cock. He felt drool collecting his mouth as he stared at them, wanting to see them, suck on them. 

You were so fucking hot that it was unfair and he was wondering what he had done to be fucking you in the backseat of your car outside of his house. And you had reached out to him first. You had sent the text when you had told him that it was only going to be a one time thing. 

“Oh,” you let out a loud moan and Jesus Christ. It was like you were wanting him to cum right there on the spot. It was even hotter than he had remembered. Anyone else would have probably said that you were faking it, but Eddie knew that you were just loud and enthusiastic. 

“Look so fucking hot on top of me,” he said, his eyes moving back to your tits, seeing the beads of sweat in your cleavage, driving him crazy. He was seconds away from licking them away. 

“Yeah?” You asked, your hands moving to where your top was tied at the back of your neck. You gave the string a pull and the whole thing fell, revealing your tits, hard nipples and all. “How about now?” 

“Fucking perfect,” was all he was able to respond. They were even better than he had remembered, somehow bigger, your tits already hard for him and now your were sporting piercings on each nipple. God, how had you gotten even hotter? He needed them in his mouth and he needed it right then 

Before you even realized what was happening, Eddie pulled out and pushed you down onto the backseat, his cum leaking down onto your stomach as he did so. He lowered himself on top of you, peppering your collarbone in kisses. You were driving him crazy on purpose and now it was his turn to have his way with you. 

He continued to work on your collarbone, mixing in his tongue, licking and sucking all across it and he didn’t miss your small sounds of pleasure. He then went in and nipped at the skin, causing you to let out another moan. 

His hand that wasn’t on your hip was massaging one of your nipples, the rough pad of his thumb feeling so good against your soft skin. You had imagined this exact scenario for months and now that you had the real thing, there was absolutely no way that you could ever fuck anyone else. He was just too good. 

His lips moved down your chest, continuing to lick and suck until he got to your nipple, his tongue swirling around it lightly as a way to tease you then taking the whole thing into his mouth and giving it a rough suck, another moan leaving your lips, your back arching. 

Eddie took that as an opportunity to slide his hands underneath your back, pulling you closer to him. He took your piercing lightly in between his teeth and gave it a light tug, causing you to let out an even louder moan. 

“More,” was all you were able to say, your words already getting slurred. He tugged a little harder and that caused you to come completely undone, His name falling from your lips in a loud scream as you reached your orgasm. But Eddie didn’t stop there. That was only encouragement to keep going. There was still so much he wanted to do to you and you were totally down to be pulled along for the ride. 

He moved to your other nipple and gave it the same treatment, but focused more on your piercing since that was what you seemed to like the most. Another scream ripped through you and Eddie tried his best not to laugh to himself, feeling proud of himself to make you cum twice in only a matter of minutes. That had to be a record of some sort, surely. 

“Fuck,” you breathed. 

Eddie brought his lips to your ear and you shuddered as his hot breath hit the shell of it. 

“There’s more where that came from, doll,” he whispered. “I’m fully prepared to devour every inch of you, making the prettiest marks on your body so everyone knows that your mine.” He then took your earlobe between his teeth and gave it a little nibble before pulling it into his mouth, giving it a suck before kissing along your jaw until he got to your lips, slotting his between yours. 

His hands moved to yours, intertwining your fingers as he kissed you, his movements so gently and slow, so different with how rough he had been with you, but you loved the duality. He then reached up with one of his hands and pushed your mouth open so he could slide his tongue inside, letting it swirl around yours. 

Your hands moved up his shirt, gripping the bottom of it and pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floorboard before pressing your hands to his back. Just when you were getting into it, he pulled away, hitting his head on the roof as he did so. 

“Do you want to take this inside? As hot as this is, it’s kind of cramped,” he chuckled. 

“Yes please,” you begged. Eddie grabbed his t-shirt and helped you put it on before the two of you finished getting dressed. He then climbed out of the backseat and held his hand out for you and you gladly took it. 

As your feet hit the sidewalk, your legs suddenly felt like jello. Eddie seemed to notice too because he grabbed hold of the back of your legs and helped you wrap them around his waist.

Your lips connected once again as he carried you to his front door only breaking away for him to open it and slam it closed behind him. He carried you to the couch, neither of you patient enough to make it upstairs. He was just grateful that he was smart enough to tell Gareth to beat it as soon as he had gotten your text. There was no way he was going to fuck you with anyone around. 

He threw you down onto the couch and got onto his knees in front of you. You removed your shorts once again and Eddie grabbed hold of your thigh, holding your leg up as he removed your boots and socks before spreading your legs wide. 

Your cunt was soaking wet and he was so desperate for a taste. He looked up at you hungrily and you were so close to yelling at him to go for it since he seemed to be taking his sweet time. His teasing was starting to drive you mad. 

“Eddie, I swear to god if you don’t do something, I’ll just take care of it myself,” you told him, but he only found it hot that you were bossing him around, that you were threatening to finish the job for him. 

“Do it,” he said, his eyes clouding with lust. The idea of you getting yourself off was so hot that he was going to cum again right then and there. 

“What?” You were unsure of what he was talking about. 

“Wanna see you fuck your fingers, doll.” 

“You do? I-I thought you were going to eat me out.” 

“Later. Wanna see you make yourself cum right now.” You hadn’t ever masturbated in front of an audience, but if you were going to do it with anyone watching, you wanted it to be Eddie. You knew that he would have been nothing but encouraging, wanting you to feel as comfortable as possible. 

You slowly brought your hand down to your cunt, closing your eyes as your fingers reached your entrance, moving back and forth across it, just like you did so many times before.

Eddie watched you, his eyes darkening as your fingers dove into your cunt, another moan falling from your lips as your head hit the back of the couch. 

“That’s it, doll,” he encouraged. “Just like that.” He never knew that he could get so much pleasure from watching someone else pleasure themself, but he was hypnotized, getting so hot from watching the whole thing unfold before him. 

You shoved them farther inside, on the hunt for that spot and once you watched it, you let out another moan and Eddie followed, not able to keep it inside. You were really doing things to him. 

You hit the spot again and your back arched in pleasure, another moan falling from your lips. Once you came down, you removed your fingers from your cunt and opened your eyes to look into Eddie’s. You then brought your fingers up to your mouth, giving them a suck, making the most filthy noises as you did so. Perhaps you were beating Eddie at his own game. 

He sat up, a whine escaping his lips as he leaned closer to you. You removed your fingers from your mouth and hovered them over his lips, batting your eyelashes as you did so. 

“Do you want a taste?” You asked and Eddie nodded, his Bambi brown eyes widening. 

“Fuck yes,” he whimpered. 

“Okay, open up.” He did as you asked and you slowly slid your fingers into his mouth, that all too familiar taste hitting his tongue. He licked and sucked until there was nothing left and all you could think about was having that tongue on your cunt. You were desperate now and couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Need your mouth on my cunt, Eddie,” you whined, the words coming out more desperate than you had intended. 

“I’d be more than happy to do that, doll, but I’m gonna need you to beg a little more.” Motherfucker. 

“Eddie, please,” your whine was even more loud and that seemed to do the trick. He spread your legs even wider to get a better look, your slick making a stain on the couch because of how wet you were. 

He grabbed hold of your ankles and pulled you closer to him, burying his face into your cunt, causing you to gasp at the feeling, your hands moving to his hair. His tongue licked a stripe from your slit to your clit before he began sucking on the area, trying to lick up every last bit of your slick, not wanting to leave a single drop behind. 

“Oh-” was all you were able to get out as you moaned. Your fingers wound further into his hair, digging into his scalp. 

Eddie took no time to stick his tongue inside you, on the hunt for that one spot that would make you scream his name. He was trying to see how quickly he could make you cum, wanting to be better at the job than your fingers were. As hot as it was to watch you get off like that, he was the one who wanted to do the job. 

He curved his tongue and your fingered tugged at his hair, your thighs pressing against his head and your ankles locking at the back of his neck. Jackpot. 

“Eddie,” you moaned. “Sh-shit. Oh my god.” He moved you lower, wanting to see it for himself. Wanting to watch you come absolutely undone. Your head was back against the back of the couch and your eyes were shut tight. Your back arched and your mouth wide open as another moan escaped. Your were so fucking hot. 

Just when you thought he was done, he lifted you up, grabbing onto your ass, burying his face further into you, his whole tongue making its way into your cunt and you let out another scream just as his fingers were digging into your ass. 

“Sound so fucking pretty. Wanna make some more noises for me?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your knee. All you could do was nod, but that wasn’t good enough for Eddie. 

“Use your words, doll.” Another kiss to your knees. 

“Yes,” you slurred and Eddie just let out a chuckle. 

“Let’s go upstairs, hm?” He asked, knowing just from your slurring that you were too far gone to consent. 

“Gonna fuck me good, Munson?” 

“In the morning, for sure,” he nodded as he pulled his t-shirt down to cover your pussy. He then grabbed hold of your hands and helped you to your feet, catching you right as you were about to fall to the floor. 

“Already falling for me, hm?” He asked as he picked you up and carried you to the stairs. You had fallen for him that first night together and that was why you told him it could only be a one time thing. 

But then you couldn’t stop thinking about him. The man plaguing your every waking moment, even when you were trying to sleep. You dreamed about him every night. Eddie sleeping on the other side of your bed. Eddie resting his head on your shoulder while you made breakfast, pressing kisses to your cheek and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. You were falling for him even though you didn't want to admit it. And looking up into his pretty brown eyes as he carried you up the stairs, you were beginning to think that maybe he was falling for you too.

[lalunanymph]

sucker punch (m) — sae itoshi

in the pivotal moments leading up to the most significant fight of his career against his estranged younger brother, sae meets a girl who turns his entire world upside down

warnings:- underground fighter!sae, fem!reader, heiress!reader, reader is coded to be feminine (wears dresses, makeup, heels, etc), language, cursing, fights, mentions of blood, mentions of alcohol, mentions of injuries, mentions of food, sae's repressed emotions™, arranged marriages (not between reader and sae oof), heavy angst

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ masterlist ࿐ྂ

✯ chapter 5

“Miss Y/N, can I get you some lunch?” 

It was a miracle you could hear your assistant’s meek voice from behind the door, considering you were currently curled up underneath your desk with tears streaming down your cheeks.

“No,” you weakly called out when you realised she was waiting for your answer. “I’ll be f-fine. Please, clear out my lunch schedule and close the main door behind you.”

If she heard your voice wobbling, she didn’t comment on it. 

“Of course, ma’am.” 

Her footsteps echoed down the hallway, and you heard the telltale click of the main office door closing. Your head thumped back against the lacquered wood, a sob greeting the still air underneath your desk. And another one. Then, you couldn’t hold back the flood. 

Your vision went blurry, tears dripping down your cheeks. Fixating on a piece of dust near your right thigh, you poured your heart out for a man who could’ve been yours in a different lifetime. Stuttered sobs and gasping wails slipped past your open mouth, your knees pressed to your chest offering what little support you needed to get you through this heartbreaking spell. 

You laced your fingers together, pressing them to your mouth to keep your cries from reaching the other end of the door, your engagement band searing your cheek. 

Life was never fair, wasn’t it? 

All you ever wanted was Itoshi Sae in his entirety. You could’ve lived with the prejudice, the gossip, and the snide remarks the upper class assholes in your life would throw your way. You could’ve lived without your father’s money if it meant you could wake up with him by your side. 

But, he had hurt you. He had thrown your love back into your face when you thought it was the only thing you possessed that was worth offering to him. 

Loving Sae was like a surrender. Which was an irony considering how you were always a fighter. It was an act of surrendering your flaws, your insecurities and defences right in his hands. 

You had played all of your cards to get him to love you. But, like an idiot, you had lost this gamble, with your heart as the spoils of war. 

You wanted to wrench your engagement ring off and toss it down the building. You had only agreed because you were tired of running towards love only for it to rebuke you. And your father looked so hopeful that you would say ‘yes’, you couldn’t possibly refuse him. 

You’re such a fucking pain, I wish you would just get the fuck out of my life. More tears rushed down your face. 

I wish I never met you. All you fucking do is meddle in my life and try to play an important part in it. Don’t you see? You are useless. I don’t need you to fight my battles. Stop fucking trying to butt your way into my problems. I only entertained your advances because we needed your money. I never wanted you in the first place. 

You pressed your fist right into your mouth to silence your wails. 

He hated you. Itoshi Sae hated you. But, why did he come back to you, then? 

I was scared. 

But, so were you. 

Loving someone outside of your station was not easy. You had a huge responsibility on your shoulders, expectations to live up to. Your father would disown you. The society you grew up in would shun you. You were scared, too. 

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t survive on this rollercoaster. 

Miyaki Maeda was a better prospect for you. He was smart, polite. 

(He didn’t hate you). 

He appreciated your efforts and genuinely seemed excited to marry you. There was someone right in front of you who valued you in your totality, not what you could offer him. 

Unlike Sae. 

You swiped your tears away, hearing your phone vibrate above your desk. Blindly reaching for it, your heart constricted when you saw the name on the screen. 

Silently, you wondered what would happen if you entertained his advances. Perhaps it would fill that void in your bruised ego, but still leave you hungry for more love. 

You couldn’t live on crumbs alone. You deserved a love willingly served to you on a platter.

Sae could never offer you his heart. He had chipped away at it the day he became The Prodigy. And like a fool, you had earnestly believed you could change his mind. Make him fall in love with you.

But, all that gave you was a broken heart and a wretched forlornness which disintegrated your soul like acid to metal. Your hopes in Itoshi Sae were gone.

His name stopped flashing across the screen, and then reappeared a few seconds later. 

With shaky fingers, you declined his call. For added measure, you blocked his contact off your phone. It felt like you had committed a great, seismic sin. 

The resounding silence had never been this loud.

Your entire world was crashing down, but somehow, nothing changed. The sun still filtered in through your yellowing blinds. The spot of dust by your thigh never moved despite your sobs stirring the air. The band around your finger wasn’t placed there by hands with calloused fingers and split knuckles.

Itoshi Sae’s love didn’t touch your outer world, and it hurts. It hurts to know that such a huge part of your devotion and love was given to a man who did not leave an indelible mark on you. There was no sign of his promise on your finger. No future growing inside your womb. It was like you opened your eyes one day and he never existed.

Was it your destiny to only fleetingly taste true love on your tongue and then never have it again for the rest of your life? 

You had no answer to that. 

So, you continued staring at the unmoving piece of dust, numbed by the neverending of your desolate inner world. 

It was enough heartbreak and heavy thoughts for the day. 

Alcohol has never been his best friend.

Unlike other fighters who loved getting drunk and knocking each other’s teeth out, Sae preferred matcha lattes over a whiskey on the rocks. This time, his preferences veered differently. Somehow, he found himself sitting on his own couch, staring at a water stain on his wall as he lifted the smeared glass to his lips. An old bottle of liquor which someone gifted him but he never opened was the victim to his loveless numbing. 

After the fiasco in your office, Sae had crawled back into his shell, never to be seen for three days. All 27 calls he left on your phone went unanswered, and it didn’t take a genius to know you had blocked him. 

He heard footsteps outside of his apartment, but they always faded away every time they got closer to his door. Sae had no motivation to see who it was. 

His couch was his cradle, the ceiling his watchful guardian. He barely had an appetite for food, and spent his days staring blankly at the walls, waiting for his phone to ring.

It never did. 

After the third day of his exile from the world, his stomach rumbled, and he decided to stand up and fix himself some instant ramen. It immediately took him back to the first unofficial date he had with you (he had never even taken you out on a real date), the savory broth bringing back memories of your sweet smile and chiming laugh. 

He remembered how the lights of the ramen shop highlighted your hair, illuminated your grin. Even amidst the greasy fumes and jostling crowd, you fit in like a glove; a seamless part of his world that he took for granted. 

The soup laid untouched, and he had curled himself back onto the couch. 

A few hours later, he woke up from a fitful doze, deciding his stagnant body needed to move. It would be late, but Oliver had given him a spare key for the gym.

When he got there, the last car had just pulled out of the parking lot. His auburn hair was hidden underneath a hoodie, his hands fists in his pockets. The moment he stepped back into the ring, he was assaulted by a heavy feeling of loss he couldn’t ignore. 

Sae couldn’t let his tears fall, not in such an open space. So, he strapped his gloves on and threw a few half-hearted punches onto the worn down sandbag. The room was spinning around the edges, but he pushed his body till failure; till sweat was running down his face, replacing his urge to sob. 

His stomach was churning heavily, a greasy, disgusting sensation he couldn’t quite name rising from the pits of his soul. 

He managed to close up the gym after an unfulfilling session, staggering out into the street. 

A couple of twinkles dotting the inky sky caught his attention. Sae stared up at the stars, a faraway look in his eye. I wish she was here with me. 

During this time, he would be home with you, cooking a hot meal or laying back on the couch as you both read a book together. But, here he was instead, sitting on the pavement outside the gym doors, knuckles throbbing and mind hazy with exhaustion. 

His stomach grumbled, and he reluctantly picked himself up from the sidewalk, slinging his gym bag over his shoulder. Deciding to walk back to his apartment to get some steps in after days of being glued to his sofa, Sae made his way down the familiar streets, the closing doors of shops and opening ones of bars beckoning him to stay and savor the night.

No one would nag him for coming home past 8PM. No one would even care if he even came home or not. 

He dawdled along the streets, passing drunken groups of teenagers, avoiding giggling streams of women. His listless eyes scanned the different storefronts, lingering on one which caught his sights.

It was a wedding store, filled with poofy dresses lining the front windows. Stately mannequins were posed by the glass in the season’s latest lace and organza offerings, instantly attracting anyone’s attention. There was a slight movement in the store, and Sae squinted when he noticed the familiar sheen of someone’s hair.

His feet took him one step forward without his consent. And another. And another until he was standing right in front of the huge window undetected. 

Numbly, he watched as you crossed the store with the clerk behind you, arms raised, clad in a sleeveless sleek dress, white as the first snow. The look on your face was demure, eyes lowered. The older woman stopped in front of the gilded mirror to adjust your hem and you dropped your arms primly. Through the reflection, he watched your face spread out into a soft grin, a sweet laugh slipping past your blush-painted lips. 

An unknown cocktail of emotions filled his entire chest. Happiness at finally seeing you, disbelief at what you were wearing… and the crushing realization that came after. 

Oh. 

You weren’t here by coincidence. This wasn’t the universe’s providence in giving him a chance to see you again. It was a reality check that hurt harder than a slap.

Because you weren’t here for any random reason.

You were here to try on your wedding dress. 

Sae stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over a ditch. He righted himself in time to see your face breaking out in a sweet smile, the corners of your eyes crinkling. The man who would be your husband wasn’t here, and you were very well alone.

If he took one step forward… if he burst through the door…

He kept his eyes on you, rapt and unwavering. You looked healthier. Your cheeks were filled with color again, like they were always meant to be—not pale from fright. Those eyes he loved were brimming with warmth, not glossy with tears. 

The reality was you looked happier than he had ever seen you. 

Sae’s shoulders slumped forward, the same sickly feeling he experienced in the ring creeping up his throat. It was expelled in a shaky sob, and he bit on his lower lip to keep the trembles from spiraling out of his control (his measured, stoic, ever reliable control). 

But, the lingering agony wouldn’t let him go. It clawed straight into his soul, ripping whatever was left of his composure the more he drank in the sight of your body wrapped in that stunning white silk. 

She would make such a beautiful bride, the thought rang through his mind like a gunshot. 

The next one left him with a gaping wound wide enough to swallow his entire ego, bleeding through his consciousness like a dark stain. 

I wish I could see it for myself when she walks down the aisle. He swallowed thickly, heavily. 

I wish she was mine forever. 

Sae couldn’t help but press his palm to the shop’s glass window, wishing he was close enough to grab your hand (man enough to win you back). 

I wish I hadn’t fucked up and hurt the only person I love. 

Love. The word tasted bittersweet on his tongue. What did he know about love? 

Rin was right. He didn’t have a heart. 

You were right. 

He was heartless. 

The best thing he could do in this situation was take a step back. Sae already had you; he already had your days and nights—and what did he do? 

He crushed your hopes of ever loving him. 

Dropping his eyes to his split knuckles, he exhaled shakily. 

You hadn’t noticed him from the other end of the shop, chattering away obliviously. Sae took one step back, sinking into the shadows where he belonged. 

Not beside you in the light, but in a far, unreachable place. 

Like drawing the curtains close, the darkness crept over his eyes, clouding his once vulnerable features. He lifted those teal eyes towards you again, drinking in your sweet expression, memorizing it as the first face he had ever loved in this lifetime. 

In the silence and darkness of the night, he shot you a secret, sad smile, one which you would never see and he would never show anyone again. 

Taking one step back, he turned around and walked away, burying the future and past where it belonged—out of his reach. 

Maybe in another life, you would both be together. Maybe you would’ve worn that dress for him. Smiled just for him as you walked down the aisle. 

But, real life doesn’t work like the stories he read.

Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fight and he loses her. 

Boy stands a street away, unable to tear his eyes from her. He watches the girl step into her new life, while he’s left behind in the lurch. 

She lives happily ever after. 

While he just lives. 

Normally, Sae would never follow Aiku on one of his drinking excursions, but today wasn’t a normal day. 

They’d just sign a new contract to build up a dormitory attached to the gym so younger fighters with no homes could stay under their roof. It was a bittersweet, almost nostalgic throwback to their lives before this sudden win, and Sae finds it appropriate it should happen two weeks after the mythical U20 vs. Blue Lock match. 

The other boys were causing mayhem as usual, Shidou terrorizing the dance floor while the rest of them heartily drank and lost themselves in the cheer of such an achievement.

It wasn’t everyday a man could see his dreams come true, and Sae took a second to savor it all, closing his eyes and inhaling the smoke.

“Oi. Stop dozing off and look after my drink. I’m gonna take a piss.”

Oliver’s grating voice over the music knocks Sae out from the moment, and he shoots the guy one quick, death glare. Not to be deterred, Aiku snorts, spinning on his heel and stalking to the men’s room, leaving Sae alone at the bar.

Out of habit, those quicksilver teal eyes scrutinize the dance floor and the establishment, sniffing for the first scent of danger.

Some boys were chugging beers, goading each other on to see who could drink the most. A few others congregated around the pool table, shooting sets and arguing over shoddy misses. Other than the riotous complaints and boyish thumps on broad backs, nothing was out of the ordinary.

Sae chuckles as their voices rise over the din and smoke; once a fighter, always a fighter.

The doors burst open and the air instantly changes. 

Every eye turns to the entrance, where a man clad in a suit walks in with two other men, the scent of wealth and entitlement radiating off them in waves. Sae frowns, slinking closer into the shadows to assess this face he’s seen before.

It hits him like lightning on a stormy night, stirring his soul: this is Maeda Miyaki. 

Outlandish as the idea was, he perks up; looks behind the men to see if you would be trailing after them.

As quickly as his hopes arose, it diminishes when he remembers this isn’t your scene anymore. You had passed on the baton of your father’s organization to your closest advisor on his encouragement, putting all of your focus into preparing for your wedding to Maeda-san.

Sae takes a good look at the guy. Your fiance is shorter than him, though his wide shoulders contribute to his stocky frame, giving him an imposing air. Maeda Miyaki has the uncanny ability to suck in the light of any room, and Sae scrutinizes him from head to toe, wondering what you saw in him; why you chose this man over him. 

Ignoring the ache in his chest which flares up at the thought of you, Sae settles against the wall, lifting the cold glass of beer to his lips.

“... asked me what lingerie to wear.”

Despite his best efforts at trying not to eavesdrop on the group of men who were seated just a few feet away from him, his ears pricked up at the bastard’s voracious laughter. 

“I told her not to worry—I’m g’na tear it all up, anyway.”

One of his lackeys, a hulking man who looks dumber than rocks, guffaws. “All that from an old woman? Why doesn't your wife just ask you?”

Miyaki snorts, shrugs and sticks a white cigarette between his teeth. “Fucking beats me. Daddy’s little girl’s scared of the big sharks.” He drags in a rich inhale, exhaling rings of smoke. “Little girl can’t even look me in the eye. Hope she isn’t this timid in bed.”

Lackey number two snickers. “I ‘eard from someone down the road—little missy had another UFC boytoy before daddy made her settle down.”

This intrigues Maeda, who scrunches his brow. Sae isn’t even pretending not to listen; he wants to know why this fuckwit has your name in his mouth and whether he should stand up and sock him in his smarmy face.

“Oh? Doesn’t surprise me. With how easy the family accepted my proposal. Had my hunch she was a cheap whore.”

One of those dimwits start to laugh, but abruptly stop when glass shatters on one of their heads, the man toppling to the floor. Maeda jerks up, looking around wildly, cigarette dropping to the sticky ground.

“What the—”

He doesn’t have the time to swear, not when another glass goes flying towards Lackey Two, taking out the meathead who crumples to the ground like a woman’s lacy thong. 

“Fuck,” Miyaki whirls around, and barely has time to flinch when a fist is thrown right into his face.

One precise punch, and he falls to the ground, too. 

Oliver returns back from his shit to find the dance floor swarming with men forming a ring. His stomach drops to his toes when he sees it's the exact same spot he had left Sae in just minutes ago. Pushing past the hulking bodies and ignoring the stench of alcohol burning his nose, he finds his friend engaged in a three-to-one fight, blood dripping down his bared teeth.

Swearing loudly, he breaks through the circle, hands raised and voice booming above the chants and hollers.

“Hold up! Hold up! Stop this!” 

He narrowly misses a punch to the face, side stepping. A flurry of red hair sweeps past, fists pummeling on a huge man whose entire right eye was swollen.

“Oi—Sae!” 

Someone tackles him to the ground, and he catches a fist to his sternum, locking the arm to the ground and kneeing the other man in the belly. The asshole howls, and he’s surprised to see a face from the news—Maeda Mikayki breathing hard over him. 

“I’ll kill you both!” 

More men join the fray. Someone drags Maeda off from him, and hustles him to his feet. He’s pushed past the crowd, almost stumbling on his tied laces. 

“Hands off!” he snarls, but the men in black drag him by the back of his hoodie, pushing open the door. 

Hard asphalt fills his mouth with blood and tar, and Oliver spits out the wad of blood, checking for any broken teeth with the tip of his tongue.

Grunts trail behind him, and he sees four more lumps ruthlessly disposed of out of the club, Sae and Maeda and his goons groaning and struggling to their feet.

Quickly, he grabs Sae by the back of his shirt, hauling him up to his feet and hurrying the asshole down a dimly lit alleyway.

“—this side!” One of the goons yells. 

Aiku presses them both flat against the wall, trying hard to breathe past his bloody nose.

Once the sound of boots pounds away, he sags onto the ground, taking a moment to catch his breath.

“I could’ve ended them.”

He gapes, staring up at the fucker who got him into this mess in the first place; Sae was livid, nostrils flared, blood freely dripping onto the front of his shirt. 

“They fucking spoke about my girl. No one talks about her like that.”

Aiku gets to his feet, easily towers over the other man and grips his shoulders, trying to stop himself from slamming this asshole face first into the dirty brick wall.

“You stupid ass,” he hisses, spit flying into the other man’s face. “That was Maeda, you fucking shit stain. He’s a big fish. Why’d the fuck you do this to us when we just got free from them? You could’ve destroyed all our plans!”

Equally as hot-headed, Sae pushes Aiku’s hands off him, trying to get him off his case.

“He made fun of my woman,” those stupid teal eyes were blazing with a terrifying rage. “No one talks shit about her—not even her fucking fiance.”

Oliver groans, slapping a hand to his forehead and dragging it through his scruffy hair. “Don’t tell me you tried to play a fucking white knight. You stupid piece of shit. He’s gonna bury us six feet under.”

“I’ll murk him if he tries,” Sae seethes. “I’ll wring him with my bare fists. No one—no fucking one—is allowed to speak about her that way.” 

Dragging in deep breaths, Oliver finally gets his head straight.

Sure, Maeda was a top dogs’ son, but that’s all he is—a fighting legacy. He doesn’t have a team; hasn’t even stepped foot in a ring before. Besides his wealth and connections, he’s a useless stain on his father’s conscience. A man like that would never approach a seasoned underground fighter without backup.

“Just in case, I’m gonna move our operations somewhere else so he doesn’t come after us. We gotta protect the other boys, Sae.”

The red fog clouding Sae’s mind cools over and he plants his hands onto his knees, breathing in deeply.

“No need. We outnumber them and we’re free from their shackles, Oli. They can’t touch us unless they want trouble. Besides,” Sae turns grim. “They were in our territory. Maeda crosses past Odaiba. They’re not supposed to be here unless they want a good beating.”

Sae’s words made sense. Oliver inhales in deeply, wishing he hadn’t kicked his nicotine addiction to the curb. He could do with a stick—or ten. This motherfucker was gonna age him five years older in the span of a single night.

“You better hope your girl is as sweet on you as you are on her." Dragging in a heaving breath, Oliver pierces him to the spot with one, shattering glare.

"Because she’s the only thing keeping Maeda from turning our guts inside out.”

The day was dull, floating past without any sort of stimulant which would make it interesting.

Sae was no longer needed to train and he made himself useful by observing the younger boys during their drills. Correcting their stance and their forms, he hummed, wiping a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. Summer was upon them, and the days were growing warmer. 

It had been a month since his fight with Rin, and his injuries were healing nicely, minus of course, that night he jumped Maeda Miyaki. But, since the spat, he hasn’t heard a peep from the Miyaki boy, and it was probably in thanks to you. There was no need for Oliver to move the operations or keep a high alert in case someone burned his gym down; everything on the other side of the fighting world barely affected them.

She must’ve managed to calm him down. 

A part of him wondered what the fuck you saw in Maeda. He was pig-headed, disgusting and a fucking woman hater on top of it. Sae had half a mind to track you down and shake you till you came to your senses.

He had heard from the grapevine how that Maeda scumbag proposed to you. 

Word on the street was that he had sent you three engagement rings to choose from, packaged perfectly in neat velvet boxes. If you refused his proposal, he had asked for the rings to be given back with cash on delivery to save his troubles.

How terribly unromantic.

Sae wanted to pretend that he hadn't stopped in front of the local jewelry store every time he walked out to buy groceries, wondering which type of ring you chose; which one would be perfect for you. 

“Itoshi-san?” 

He was shaken out of his reverie by a young, nervous looking fighter entering the gym.

“Hmm?”

“You have a visitor,” he stumbled, catching Oliver’s attention. The other man was busy looking through his records when the young fighter’s words piqued his interest. 

Every man turned their eyes to the entrance, and Sae felt like someone had punched his gut.

There, standing with your hands clasped in front of you, looking like a goddess gracing unworthy mortals with her presence, you shone, blinding him. 

As if drawn by a magnet, you lifted your eyes and met his own. Your gaze widened, mouth falling imperceptibly open. 

Sae’s attention narrowed on you. He barely noticed the others; they melted to background noise and static when he drank in the sight of you. Someone clapped his shoulder, but he ignored them to drink you in. 

The simple cotton sundress you wore highlighted your curves, and your hair was neat and sleek. You looked as healthy as he remembered, and it sent a wave of both relief and regret when your vitality was shadowed by a flicker of fear passing your wide-eyed gaze. 

Oliver was the one who greeted you, breaking the sudden tension with his warm and welcoming words. 

You shook your head slightly, laughing at something he said. Sae watched, hungry and unabashed as you turned on your heel, walking with Oliver into his office. His feet moved forward before he could stop them, taking him into the enclosed space. 

Two pairs of eyes landed on him when he entered. 

Oliver shifted from one foot to another when you nor Sae uttered a word.

Eventually, he barked a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think I forgot something in the pantry. Y/N, Sae will handle any concerns you have. I’ll be back.” 

He barely noticed his oldest friend walking out of the room, teal eyes latched unwaveringly on you. 

When the door closed, it felt like he could breathe yet was choking at the same time. 

You laced your hands together, staring at them. Sae swallowed heavily.

“Y/N—”

“Sae—”

The both of you stuttered into a fleeting silence, waiting for the other to go first. When you didn’t speak, he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he exhaled, the words burning his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you that night. I was overwhelmed, and scared and it was no excuse for what I did. Please… forgive me?” 

Sae struggled to voice out his emotions, and he was sure he sounded like an idiot with his awkward words and even more exasperating countenance. But, you didn’t comment on his clumsy apology, hanging your head forward.

“I’m sorry, too,” you mumbled, and he opened his mouth, about to deflect your selflessness when you lifted your teary eyes to pin him to the spot. 

Sae was striding towards you before he could stop himself, and you didn’t resist when he swept you into his arms.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he whispered, thanking whatever shitty deity above that he could hold you again. “It’s me who was at fault. Don’t feel sorry.” 

“I’m engaged,” you mumbled into his shoulder, and he squeezed you tighter to him, willing the pain from your words to subside. 

“I know.”

“I didn’t choose this.” 

He pulled back slightly to look at you, curiosity heavy on the tip of his tongue. Your beautiful eyes were red-rimmed, and Sae believed he’s never seen you look this ethereal before.

“My father sort of forced us into this marriage,” you confessed, as if you were waiting for countless years to tell another soul this burdensome truth. 

Sae nodded, dumbfounded. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ears, unable to resist running the back of his bruised knuckles down your cheek. You craned yourself further into his touch, a sticky sigh of longing slipping past your defenseless lips. 

“It’s best if you don’t marry Miyaki-kun.” He was surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded. “He’s a piece of shit—”

“I know,” you took him by surprise, looking him right in the eye when you said, “I heard how you defended my honor in that bar. I… thank you.”

Sae grips your cheek a little harder, not wanting to hurt you, but also needing you to understand the depth of his concern for you.

“I would do it all over again. You don’t deserve anyone speaking like that about you.”

You fell silent for a single moment, pretty eyes lost in your thoughts. Sae wants to ask what’s troubling you, when the next question you exhale stuns him into a disquiet.

“Sae, I… I need to know…” You faltered and gathered your bravery to voice out this simple, yet vulnerable question:

“Do you love me?” 

Your glossy eyes were pinned onto him, watching his every expression. Sae felt like someone had reached inside his gut to twist and squeeze his heart. He buys some time to answer, darting his eyes to the ground and licking his lips.

“Y/N… you know we’re from different worlds…”

Your eyes widened, the heartache behind them breaking his own heart. “It shouldn’t matter, Sae. I have always seen you as my equal,” you persisted. 

Sae suddenly felt like a ton of spotlights were on him. His mind was blaring warning signs, and every fiber in his body was telling him to retreat. But, something held him firmly to the spot. Your depthless stare dug into his soul, waiting for his answer. Your cheek burns hotly in his palm. 

His tongue heavily relinquished his defenses. “You won’t be happy with me… I can’t give you three diamond rings like Miyaki-kun can. I’m a lesser man compared to him.” 

You grip onto his hand holding your cheek, keeping it there. “And do you think you don’t deserve to be loved because of this?” Your shock and agony seared through him as if it were his own. 

“Because it’s not true. I love you, Sae. I love you so much, I don’t care about status or money. I love you so much that if you tell me to go now and marry another man, I will. But, I need to know first—do you love me?”  

“I—” He lost his courage, taking one step back. The loss of your body heat against his felt like someone ripping the sun out of the fucking sky. He was cold all over, trembling from head to toe.

If he were a lesser, cowardly man, he would’ve tried to run by now.

“Itoshi Sae,” your voice kicked up an octave, and those tears broke free, spilling down your cheeks. “You’re a cruel, cruel man, you know that?”

He wants to reach out to you, wipe the tears away. His bloodless lips move, quietly asking, “Why would you say that?” filling the frigid abyss separating you two apart.

Your anguish becomes his own, searing through his chest.

“Because, you give me hope. And hope is a cruel thing if you don’t intend to make it come true.” Taking one step closer to him, your scent drowns him in waves of longing, and he wants nothing more than to inhale you until you’re one with his body. 

“If you don’t love me, you—you need to say it right to my face.” His sweet, brave girl. Sae wants to kiss you so badly, he can’t stop looking at your lips, then your lovely eyes—eyes which held an unquantifiable amount of love just for him. “You have to tell me that I am completely going to be separated from you—that you don’t love me like I love you.” 

There. It’s out in the open.

But, strangely, those three words coming from you don’t scare him.

It’s all the love in this world that he doesn’t deserve. 

“I’m a poor man...”

“Do you love me?” Your breathing hitched, tears leaking past the corners of your eyes. Your heart felt like it could tear in two from the look of pure despair on his face. “Please, Sae… please tell me if I am truly alone in this.” 

For a split second, neither of you spoke. The air was suppressed with tension; the entire office feeling too hot and yet cold.

The cracks of your disbelief melted into begrudging acceptance. Sae could count the stars dying in your eyes—how your hopes in him were diminishing as the embers of your devotion were flickered out by his perceived unreciprocated feelings.

He reached out for you, grazing the back of your hand with his fingers. Your skin was cold to the touch, your gaze growing even more colder.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, hanging your head forward. You took one step away from him. “I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

Your voice broke on the last word, and Sae stood, rooted to the spot. Watching you leave him for the second time.

Before he could overthink it, he blurted the first thing that came into his mind. 

“I’m an orphan.” The weight of the world crushes his shoulders. He almost sobbed, as if that truth alone was enough to dissuade your love. 

“I ran away when I was eleven and left my brother behind. I pushed him away because I was so embarrassed of how I couldn’t take care of him—how much he starved under my care. I couldn’t protect him. I was useless. I don’t have an education. I’ve never… I’ve never lived in one place long enough to call it home. I am a coward. I—” his voice broke, and tore his gaze towards the ground before raising his eyes once more to meet yours, the anguish in those teal eyes breaking your heart. “I’m vile. I’ve hurt other men. I’ve hurt my own brother—”

“I don’t care!” 

You were fervent when you rushed towards him, standing chest-to-chest with a wounded man hellbent on pushing away everything good in his life. 

None of it mattered to you. Itoshi Sae was yours the second he entered your life and you wanted him forever. 

“You did the best you could with what you had, Sae. You were a child.” You had one hand on his arm, encouraging him to look at you—to witness your sincerity and vulnerability. “You were forced into this life and no one told you otherwise. You were exploited when you should’ve been protected. You don’t have to do everything on your own—you don’t have to be alone. I’m here. If you can’t protect Rin, I will help you protect him. If you feel afraid, I will be there to tell you it’s all okay. I’m here, Sae. You’re not alone anymore.” 

You faltered in your stance, heart on your sleeve and hope on your tongue when you asked him again, in a soft voice. 

“So, please. Don’t keep me in the dark anymore. Don’t push me away.” 

Sae could only stare at you with sick yearning in those beautiful teal eyes. You tasted his surrender, the cracks in his facade. Your touch on his cheek nearly made him moan in longing. 

Your breathy whisper hit him like the force of a thousand and one bricks—the question no more terrifying to him than a luminous ray of moonlight breaking across a serene lake. Finally opening his eyes to his own truth. 

“Sae.” Oh, how sweet it was to hear his name on your lips. His brimming teal eyes latched onto those plush, flesh-toned pillows, and then back again into your clear, determined and beautiful eyes. 

As if a huge weight was hurtling down his shoulders, he met you in the middle, gripping your face in his unyielding grip. 

He doubled forward, as if someone had punched him in the gut. You caught him, meeting his surrender halfway. 

And after twenty over years of repressing his heart, the dam finally broke. 

“I love you.”

He wept. “I love you with every fucking beat of my heart. From the moment you came into my life, looking so—so damn beautiful even in a fucking ramen shop, when you read my favorite book out to me. I’ve… I’ve never known—” he shuddered as if admitting his deepest secret. His wet, brilliant aquamarine eyes seemed to devour yours with unabashed yearning, love and fear.

“I’ve never known a home until I met you.”

Sae was sobbing, and so were you; huge relieved heaves which echoed around this dreary office. Your arms were an anchor around his taller frame, and you held him with such tenderness, Sae was sure he would disintegrate from such gentleness. 

You carded your fingers through his hair, kissing his neck, his collarbone, his cheek. Finally, you reached his lips, and Sae poured his entire longing into that single kiss, afraid that if he opened his eyes, you would disappear.

But, you never let him go. Your fingers twined his hair, holding him tight to you. Your kisses taste like heaven reincarnated, and Sae wondered how he went this long without it. 

The slot of your plush lips in between his yielded to a few inches apart, close enough that he could still breathe you in, but enough of a distance for a single, silvery strand of spit to connect both your lips together.

Sae broke it by pressing another kiss to your waiting mouth, melting into your embrace. Your touch was the sweetest balm, healing and restoring him after an eternity of endless horrors. 

“You were right,” he mumbled in a thick voice, hiding his face in your shoulder like a terrified boy unable to face the truth. “You were right about everything. How heartless I am. I’m a monster—”

“Ssh,” you touched your forehead to his and he wished he could nuzzle in your warmth for an eternity. “You’re not a monster, Sae. You don’t have to be forced in this life anymore. We can make it a better one—together.” 

Of all the love stories and sweet words he had devoured in his life, nothing could compare to the notion of ‘together’ with you. 

He would’ve pressed you to the desk and took you there and then, but someone clearing their throat by the doorway gave you both pause.

Oliver, red in the face, shot an apologetic smile. “Um… before you two get at it… I left my notebook here.” He scurried to grab it, whispering a not-so-quiet “nice, Sae!” at his best friend and running away before the other man could club him on the head.

His mood untouched by Oliver’s interruption, Sae picked up your left hand, studying the obnoxious diamond ring adorning your finger. “What kind of fucking asshole sends a woman three pops and not even know what she likes?” He tsked, and your heart skipped a beat when he tugged the offensive band off.

You wanted to scold him, but found yourself grinning widely instead. “Sae—”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he promised, tossing that fuckwit’s band onto the desk. “And I’ll work my ass off to give you a home, baby—you know I will.” 

“And my dad?” You hummed, cupping his face in your hands, smiling softly and beautifully. “What will you say to him?” 

Sae was not a man for flowery words—or even any expressive words at all. But, he found them flowing effortlessly when it came to you, his entire heart offered to the woman who had put her name on it from the very first day. 

“I’ll tell him that I fell in love with his daughter and I want to marry her right this instant,” he twined his arms around your waist, drunk off your giddy grin. “And I’ll tell him that I don’t have much money, but I have grit, and I can make a home for her—for our family.”

More tears clouded your eyes. “Family?” 

He nodded, smiling softly. “You, me and a little squirt with my nose and your pretty eyes. Sounds perfect, hmm?”

The reality was scary; real life was filled with obstacles and challenges. But, with Sae beside you, you found that you could weather through any storm coming your way because he was the one meant to do it. 

You were his home and his dream.

He didn’t have to save love stories from the bin anymore—save his happy ending—because it was right here in his arms.

Boy meets girl, they fall in love; they lose one another, and boy discovers he can’t live without the girl for another second. 

Happy endings never followed a straight line; it ebbed and flowed like a river. But, no matter the twists and turns, fate would always find a way to bring what was meant to be back together again. 

And so, the boy and girl lived happily, imperfectly ever after. 

Forever.

THE END.

a/n. omggg i can't believe this is over frrrr 😭 when i started this series, i was honestly thinking of how fucked up it would be for rin and sae to actually fight each other (considering how they're always so close to beating each other up in canon hhshhd) and this idea kinda just went .... EVERYWHERE. i honestly enjoyed writing sae in this (peep the bridgerton ref at the end 👀) and im stoked to see what other ideas i can come up for him in the future because he's just SO fun to write for.

anyway, i hope you loved this little mini series, and don't forget to reblog and share your feedback as it keeps my little heart v happy and the creative juices going <3

©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

[goth-mami-writer]

🩶As Close As Strangers🩶

{POV: When drunk Leon showed up at your door that night, the last thing you wanted to do was catch up with your old partner. There was just too much you hadn't told him.}

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

《 Rain was falling against your roof softly that night, lulling the sound of late traffic and other nighttime noises outside your suburban home. But it startled you when a loud, jarring knock came to the door suddenly.

It thudded with an urgency, and you were on alert now with the thought of who could be knocking this late. In the rain, too. You stood up, using your used-to-be police training to creep through your living room to see out onto your stoop.

Your eyes widened seeing no one at first, but there was a shadow that slowly came into the light, and your heart thundered when you recognized the face. You hurried to the door, unsure even with a million guesses as to how he even found your address or remembered you at all.

“Leon?!” You said opening the door in a swing, wrapping yourself tighter in your silk night robe to keep the chill of the rain away.

He stumbled on his feet, seeming like he was reaching for a hug but he stopped, as if he was unsure how to proceed in reintroducing himself. Suddenly it all became clear when he started to slur his speech in a ramble of words,

“I ugh- I was in the…the ugh- ” His hands moved up to try and talk without words, but you nodded in understanding,

“You're drunk.” You said finitely, ready to tell him that he needed to find a way home but he stumbled again, however this time his stance gave out completely as he dropped on your doorstep in a fall.

You knelt down, trying to save him from hurting himself then mentioned in a gasp upon feeling the wetness of rain soaked in his clothes,

“Did you walk here?”

You knew it didn't matter. He was drenched, shivering, probably on the verge of a fever from the cold, and he was clearly too plastered to get himself home. So, you helped him inside, pulling on him gently and supporting his weight to rest him on the sofa for now while you figured this out.

You hadn't seen Leon in years. He looked exactly the same. As if time just hadn't caught up to him yet. You wished you could say the same. The new recruit you were when you knew him was long gone now. You'd changed so much. You wondered if maybe he'd just have to meet you all over again. You were partners at one pretty little point in time, always together and growing together to protect the city.

Now…you felt as close as strangers.

But there was something else. Something so dire that you never got to say to him. Your world depended on it, actually. Leon Kennedy was someone you hoped to never see again now that you'd stayed silent for this long with such a gravelly secret.

You sat him on the couch, watching as clearly his head was swimming from alcohol. He smelled flammable, so you were surprised he wasn't ready to lose the liquor on your living room floor, but he was quiet. And still. You reached forward, trying to convince him to shed his wet jacket to get comfortable, telling him to just lie down and be warm for a while. Quietly, he fell asleep, and you knew that might be for the best. You didn’t want to catch up like old friends. There was too much he didn't know.

Couldn't know.

After a few minutes, your gaze on his nostalgia was broken when he began to stir away from sleep. You never thought you'd see him again but he looked at you tiredly now trying to keep conversation.

“How've you been? Haven't seen you since I moved up to federal. I lost my cell at the bar - I figured I'd see if you were home.” He said with a little more sobriety.

Your blood went cold when you knew you had to lie and you played the only card you had at this moment, which was being as vague as possible.

“I've been fine. Just working…some here then some there. Just busy.”

He nodded but then groaned as he sat up straight. Letting the moonlight in the room illuminate his face. Your expression turned soft, and you watched as winced from a headache - somehow beautifully. You stood up, trying not to be seen awestruck by the eyes that still halted you to this day.

You poured tea that was still warm from the kitchen kettle and brought it over in a mug as it steamed. You promised it would help his headache, and he thanked you in a mutter as he drank.

“How uhm-” You said stuttering now as you sat across from him, becoming more interested in talking after all,

“How've you been?”

Leon swallowed his gulp laboredly, that probably being the only hydration he'd had in hours, and he cleared his throat softly,

“I've been alright. They take me everywhere now that I'm an agent. I'm wondering when they'll let me off the leash for a while.”

You smiled, chuckling to remember how hardcore of a workaholic he was. Even before being promoted to agent, he was always everywhere for the city. Under the governor's orders or the mayor's. He did work like a dog.

You balled up in the armchair where you sat and heard as he spoke further with a growing smile,

“Yanno, I actually caught up with our old chief the other day. I told him that…you were still one of the best partners I ever had. He said you….went on leave for a while? After our last mission, I ugh- didn't expect that.”

Oh God, you thought with a shiver in your spine.

There was no way to explain that little leave of yours without telling the truth. And all of it. You struggled to find an explanation. Another lie. You only nodded, struggling to merely confirm that you did in fact leave the force for a while.

But, suddenly, there was a creak on your stairs where a tiny voice called out in the dark,

“Mommy?”

You both spun towards the stairs where the small voice came from and Leon froze seeing a boy, no older than five, sleepily rubbing his eyes in his pajamas. He looked back to you, silencing himself from even breathing as you interacted with what to be….your small son.

You put on your kind, motherly smile to ask if he'd had a nightmare, to which he nodded so sweetly. You assured him that you'd be up to turn on his nightlight in just a moment and heard him tiptoe back up the stairs with his tiny footsteps thudding.

He didn't see Leon. That was a relief. But Leon also didn't see him, not in this dark.

At least not his face.

However, once there was quiet again, you knew exactly how this night would go. Leon was too quick, he wasn't stupid. He'd piece it together like the trusted detective he was. And there'd be only one person to blame.

“I-” He stammered, getting the first hint that you were lying about something,

“I didn't know you had a kid..either.”

You stayed quiet. Maybe you wouldn't have to open your mouth at all. He could see you weren't wearing a wedding ring. Meaning this boy's father wasn't asleep upstairs or…away on a business trip.

You both were inches away from the truth now, and you saw as the pieces in his mind soon fell into place.

He thought of the last mission you were on together. Not the work of it all. Not the report, and not the recognition you earned for it. It was the night after.

That night.

"Fuck that job", he thought. All he could remember was that night.

Both of you had just finished your report in DC, shook hands with the governor and….tried to fly home. But there was a storm - the flight was canceled. And the only hotel with vacancy within city limits had only one room for the both of you. It didn't matter if there were double beds. Neither of you slept a wink.

"We….didn't even want to," he remembered.

"We just wanted each other. Over and over again."

But what month was it. Was it May? April - No. It was summer.

It was July.

“He's not yours, Leon. Christ!” You said in a quiet snap, knowing the face he made when his mind tried to unravel a timeline and do the math.

It was one last attempt at a good lie to make this all normal again.

Leon kept quiet. That face he made- The one that solved cases stayed firm in the thought that he needed to determine whether or not was being lied to. And had been for years now.

He reached to the end table at his side, but he kept his gaze with yours. He told you without words that you had one last chance for honesty before he looked at the photo being tenderly kept in a frame right here in the family room. He didn't need to guess if it was a picture of your son.

He knew.

His eyes moved down, stone cold sober now, and you tried to stop him from using that same ray of moonlight to see how big of goddamn liar you really were. He'd see the resemblance. There wouldn't be a need for him to do any math after that.

“...L- Leon, d-”

“Just fucking stop.” He said cutting you off with the first touch of rage in his tone now that he saw exactly what he'd been left in the dark about.

It was everything.

He began to unsnap this photo away from its picture frame, wanting and needing to hold it in his hands. His jaw tightened and his throat burned. He thought you were a better liar. Or maybe just a better person.

Sometimes, when he was alone, all he thought of was you…in that room with him in DC. Was this why? Because something wasn't right?

“Don't you dare tell me…that he isn't mine.”

He turned the picture of your small son towards you, practically holding the proof in his hands. He didn't need to remember the month you slept together. Or ask you how old your son was exactly.

He knew.

“-When he looks just like me.” 》

(Open to finishing this one ♡ more to come)

[little-tainted-angel]

๑ Realizing love is there...

Xiao x male!reader, Venti x male!reader and Kaeya x male!reader (separated)

Category: [Fluff/sfw]

Warnings: Mention of Zhongli (Xiao's part). Zhongli calls Xiao "child". Mention of Kaeya (Venti's part), mention of Diluc (Venti's part), Venti is drunk for half his part. Mention of alcohol. Mention of Rosalia, Klee, Jean, Diluc and Lisa in Kaeya's part. Reader is mentioned but doesn't actively participates in it.

Request: Yes / No | From: 🕸️ anon.

«Hello, you can call me 🕸 anon! Can you write Xiao, Venti and Kaeya realizing they have a crush on the reader? Ty !»

Waaa! My first emoji anon! 🥰 I'm so happy- welcome!

「 ✦ XIAO ✦ 」

Xiao had been an adeptus for longer than he could properly remember, and the feeling of «love», in romantic contexts, wasn't something he was familiar with.

He's seen countless couples in his years of existence, but he never quite grasped the concept of what it meant to love someone outside of family.

That human desire to kiss someone? That need of multiple actions he could not wrap his head on? He was clueless.

Perhaps that was why he didn't know what that heat on his chest meant. That feeling of something tugging at his heart and filling him with that sort of anxiety that left him on guard.

What confused him the most was that you were the cause of it. Had you cursed him some way without him realizing?

He even managed to believe you were a threat.

Of course, confused as to why the ever so calm adeptus was acting on edge with you, Zhongli decided to ask Xiao what was happening.

The god found himself amused when Xiao explained the situation to him.

"Ah, my dear child. I believe I know what id that you're feeling." Zhongli hummed, muffling a small chuckle that dared escape his lips. "Fear not, as it is not dangerous."

"Huh? If it's not dangerous, what is it?" Xiao asked, frowning slightly at the consistent incognita of what was that feeling you caused.

"Mm, I believe the simplest term of it would be «love», Xiao."

Safe to say, if his entire life didn't already gave him existencial crisis on a daily basis, trying to come to terms with the idea of falling in love was surely passing with five stars its debut.

From that day, he started to study you. Trying to figure out if what Morax explained to him was accurate, and if so, how.

And soon enough, he found himself admiring little things you did. How you acted around others, how your personality was like.

So this was what love felt? To wish to admire you, close or from afar, as long as you kept being true to yourself?

If that was it... Love might not be that bad after all.

He wouldn't confess though, not until he manages to understand better how to process his feelings. Just because he understood what love felt like, didn't meant he understood how to act with it.

It would probably take a while, but he was patient. He just hoped you could wait for him too.

「 ✦ VENTI ✦ 」

The God of Freedom had been a free soul his entire life. And while he had experienced the cons and pros of it, the lost and happiness of friends and people he could even consider family, he never had fallen in love with someone.

And oh dear archons if he had fallen hard for you.

The wind was free, yet somehow he had never felt as free as when he was with you.

As a Mondstadt citizen, he would usually see you as one of his children. But he couldn't help but see you, not as his child, but as a companion to his free life.

"Isn't he divine?" The god murmured softly as he watched you from afar.

Kaeya hummed with humor as she watched the Anemo Archon look so helplessly in love while he was drunk in the Angel's share.

"I suppose he is," Kaeya replied, amused.

The god knew what love meant. What it implied.

He also knew what it implied for him to fall in love with a mortal that wouldn't be able to live more than a few decades.

But as he watched you from afar; the man that managed to get his full attention like the best wine, he decided that the consequences were worth it.

"If you like them so much, why don't you go ahead and confess?" Diluc replied as he cleaned one of the glasses.

"Eh? But what if he rejects me Master Diluc?" Venti pouted as he rested his head on top of the counter.

"Then it wasn't meant to be." Diluc's replied calmly, a small frown on his face as he watched the drunk bard. "Now stop drinking before you embarrass yourself more than average."

"Master Diluc is cruel."

"So I've been told."

Needless to say, to confess to you he had to be:

Drunk.

He had to count with someone's (Diluc's) help.

It's a miracle he managed to get you to date him.

「 ✦ KAEYA ✦ 」

He was quick to realize he liked you. The Calvary Captain of the Knights of Favonius could be slightly flirty if he wanted, and therefore knew how exactly certain feelings felt like.

But realizing he was in love for you, that had been a rollercoaster for him.

You were an incredible man. And the times he caught a glimpse of your smile he couldn't help but feel like he was just falling harder for your presence.

He smiled at the slight mention of your name. And would try to take care of you when you needed it the most.

Of course, this also meant he got free teasing from Lisa, Jean and Rosalia.

Also Klee's questions about if you were his boyfriend, or husband, or if you were already dating.

He might have heard Lisa laugh more times in his crushing-for-you time than in the whole time he had met Lisa.

"If you know you like them, why don't you confess already then?" Rosalia asked him while they were getting drinks at Angel's share

"I want it to be a more perfect moment."

"When it includes you? I doubt that's possible," Diluc commented as he served another client.

"That's a bit cruel even for you, Master Diluc."

So he does try to plan for it to be perfect. He slowly manages to get stuff you like, wanting to be a good time between both of you.

He almost messes all of it up (Diluc has premonition powers now???), but was able to not mess it up at last minute.

Perhaps Barbaros was on his side that day.

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

The Last Call

Nanami Kento x You

I give the biggest credit to @namikyento for this idea! Thank you so much for it! I hope you guys enjoy it!

I’ll post more of Our Love Story after this weekend!

(Song Inspiration: we can’t be friends (wait for your love) by Ariana Grande)

You stared blankly at the blank word document on your laptop. The ringtone from your cell phone pulling you out of your daze. You looked at the caller I.D. with a racing heart. All of the hope you had was suddenly gone when it wasn’t who you wanted it to be.

“Emi. Are you okay?” you asked, tone with disappointment but also worry that she called.

“Let’s go out,” she said. “You need a night out.”

“I’m fine.”

“You haven’t been fine for the past four months. I think you got worst,” Emi pointed out.

You were quiet. You felt everything disappear from your grasp. And you hated yourself for letting that feeling consume you more and more.

“You helped me out from my last relationship,” Emi pointed out. “I can’t let it consume you, too. He’s a jerk for leaving you like that. He’s a jerk for that to occur. He hurt you. Show him that you can be happy without him.”

“I—“ For the first time in a while, you let your tears fall. You tried to muffle your sobs, however, Emi heard.

“You’re my sister from another mister,” she said. “If not tonight, then I’m going to come over with both of our favorite snacks and we will watch Legally Blonde, 500 Days of Summer, and maybe John Tucker Must Die.” You let out a breathy chuckle and nodded.

“Okay,” you said as you wiped your tears away. “I’ll get the living room ready.”

The two of you huddled closely together on the couch. A large, fuzzy blanket wrapped around you two as she quickly ate a bag of chips and you slowly ate your popcorn.

“These two, I still wish they ended up together,” Emi said. You nodded, your expression very melancholy.

“But he’ll find someone for him,” you said. All you could think of was him. The love you two shared that slowly disappeared and is forever gone. “We broke up once but he called me and we tried to make it work.” Emi looked at you. You haven’t spoken about the break ups. You indulge in work and an attempt to write a new book. But all of your inspiration was gone.

“And now?”

“I thought it was going to work,” you said, your voice breaking from the tears. “But…but…” You shook your head. You brought your knees towards your chest and buried your face on your knees. “Maybe I did something wrong. It had to be me.”

“No, no, and no! It was never your fault in the first place!” Emi exclaimed. “The asshole hurt you! Because I thought everything was going well! Until I started to barely see him too!”

“Then why?”

“I don’t know. You know him better than anyone. At least, that’s what he always says. So, prove that fucker wrong!”

“Okay,” you said with slight defeat. “I’ll prove him wrong.”

It didn’t happen overnight. But week by week, you would step outside and go about your daily routine. You slowly went back to your morning or afternoon walks. You stopped by your favorite bakery again, a smile becoming bright like it was before.

Today, you and Emi went shopping after you attempted to write something in the morning. You were happy to even start with brainstorming ideas. You made yourself give yourself a “me day”. And Emi never felt so proud before.

“I need new facial products,” you said. “And hair products. I need to take better care of my appearance.”

“Honey, you are gorgeous just the way you are. Your hair, beautiful. Skin, like a baby’s bottom.” You laughed and playfully hit her arm. You blushed from the compliment. It has been a while since you even received such compliments. “Everything okay though?”

“Better than before,” you said truthfully as you looked at her. “Thank you, Emi.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You helped push me,” you said. “And I needed it.”

“Good, good. Shall we do something?”

“After we shop, let’s get some alcohol and drink. It’s been a while.” Excitedly, Emi wrapped her arm around your shoulders. Again, you let out a laugh.

“Finally! My drinking buddy is back!”

The drinking didn’t last too long when you found Emi passed out on the couch by 6PM. In a drunken state, you threw the gray blanket on top of her. You poured another shot for yourself and drank some more.

And more and more, you kept drinking and drinking. You went to your room that lead to a balcony and sat down. A bottle of tequila with an empty shot glass sitting in the glass table. The cold air helping you cool down from the heat radiating within you. You scrolled through your phone. Pictures you didn’t bother to delete angered you. The happiness all gone. And it was a mistake going back down memory lane that you couldn’t stop cursing at yourself mentally. So you poured another drink for yourself to quickly down.

“Fucking jerk…” you mumbled. “I’ll give him a piece of his own damn mind…”

You went through your contacts. You forgot that you deleted his number. You felt your heart break. Much more than it had before. But why? Why would it hurt so much now? You dialed the number you only knew by heart. Your heart was racing as it rang and rang.

“Is everything okay?” That voice. The same, deep voice that brings you weak in the knees. The same voice that brings goosebumps all over your body. And the same voice that made you forget how to breathe and made your chest heavy as hell. “Y/N.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” you questioned, words slurred. The alcohol really hitting you to its core.

“You’re drunk.”

“Obviously, Captain Obvious.”

“You shouldn’t call me, sweet—Y/N.”

“Nanami Kento, you jerk! How dare you do this to me.” Your tears slipped, and sobs escaped your lips.

Nanami was in bed, tan slacks still on with his blue button up, the first few buttons undone with his sleeves rolled up. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt at peace. All he could see with closed eyes were your tears. Your tear-stricken face filled with so much hurt and pain. The sounds of your heartbroken cries before he left your apartment was engrained in his mind. And all he could feel was his own heart breaking every single day.

Every night, he goes home and pours himself a glass of whiskey. Maybe even drink two or three more to help him fall asleep, even if it’s for an hour. Tonight was the first night that he chose to not drink anything. Gojo and Shoko both encouraging him to change his bad habits. And of course, of all nights, you called.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw your name on his phone. And even though it wasn’t a greeting he usually heard from you, hearing your voice again brought him great relief. A voice he missed hearing everyday. Your voice that always makes his heart skip a beat and bring butterflies to his stomach. It made him feel something, even for a moment. But he knew, he just couldn’t lure you back in again.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He imagined you out in the balcony, your knees hugged against your chest. And it was exactly what you were doing.

“It’s not fair,” you said. “I miss you so much. I still fucking love you and I don’t think I could love anyone else like I love you.” Nanami was silent. He swallowed the large lump in his throat, tears forming in his eyes.

“It isn’t fair…”

“We were so happy, Kento. I never understood why we broke up the first time, but you came back. And I was so happy. You were so happy. We did what we always did. We both worked, ask about our days, and we enjoy every moment we have together. I don’t know what I did wrong. If I did, I’m sorry. I thought I was doing everything right. Did I annoy you? Was I clingy? Was I overbearing?” Nanami took a deep breath, his tears falling. His heart broke more. He knew there was no way that you were in the wrong.

“No. Not at all.”

“But you! One day we spent all day together, you had a freak out moment, we came home, and made love! And the next day, you were distant! You were rarely home. You always went to bed early. You haven’t…I couldn’t…Kento, I needed you so much and you weren’t there for me. And then you break up with me.” You heard him inhale, obvious that he has been crying as well. “I don’t understand why you’re crying.” Nanami couldn’t help but just chuckle.

“You know me so well, sweetheart. Better than anyone else,” he said. His name for you. You always loved it. But tonight, you hated it.

“A-And you know what? I think I’m a great catch! Any guy would wish to have me!” Nanami held in his breath. Because he knew that was true. He glared at every guy that eyed your way flirtatiously. He always pulled you closer to him when the two of you were out, showing everyone that you were taken and his. Nanami got to be the lucky one. He had you. “And I hope you regret letting me go. Sometimes, I even hope you wouldn’t find happiness like you did with me.”

He knows that he wouldn’t.

“But I still love you,” you confessed. Everything you wanted to say to make him feel bad, you couldn’t help but pour some of your love in your rant.

And he still does, too. He sniffled. You heard him, and you cried a little harder.

“I hurt the love of my life. And I hope you find the happiness you truly deserve,” Nanami said.

His heart broke. Because he planned to have a future with you. He planned to love you to the fullest. He planned to be the one to support you. He planned to be the one to give you everything you could ever ask for. But now, all he could do was listen to you cry and keep breaking your heart.

“Goodbye, Kento.”

“Goodbye, my love.”

Immediately, you hung up. You put your phone on the table and hugged yourself tighter as you let your tears spill. You said what you have to say and it was all you could do. Your closure that didn’t feel like a closure. And all you want to do was call him to hear his voice again. To hear him tell you how much he loves you and how he’ll always be there for you. A part of you hoped that he would call you back.

Nanami lied there, tears spilling out of his eyes. His hand rested on his chest with his phone in hand. It was only past 7. A man already in bed the moment he arrived home. Everything you said to him repeated in his mind. Memories of you and him playing over and over. But it stopped when his phone rang again. He had hope. Was it you that called him?

But it all went away when he got a phone call from Ijichi. He wiped his tears away and cleared his throat before he answered.

“Ijichi-san.”

“We need you in Shibuya. It’s urgent.”

“I’ll be there.”

He sat up in bed, looking at his phone. A picture he saved of you that he never had the heart to delete. His favorite picture. A picture where you were busy typing your recent famous book. The smile on your face as you typed. Your smile so bright it added so much light to his dark and brooding life. His only regret was leaving you like this. Heartbroken and in tears. And he’ll regret it, even after death.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Falling Apart | Jeno Imagine #10

Title: Falling Apart

Genre: Angst, friends to lovers (kinda)

Warnings: mentions of drinking, reader has a breakdown (nothing new lol)

Word Count: ~1.1k

Author's Note: Lately, it feels like I've been trapped in the dark again (but I'm okay). But I can't help but put whatever is going on my head into words, and I chose Jeno for this because he seems like that type of friend who's silently there for you. He's very caring with his members, like how he was by Jisung's side when he was crying at the Dream Show 1. Jeno is the type of person I would trust being vulnerable with. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading ^ ^

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Jeno could hear the faint sound of beer cans shifting within the bag as he walked up the stairs to your apartment. The dark sky above him was illuminated by the usual city lights, along with the full moon casting its glow tonight. 

As he neared your place, an unusual wave of nervousness washed over him. His decision to come here had been an impulsive, last-minute choice on his part. Earlier, he had been at Chenle’s house with the others for their bi-monthly movie night. However, he was perplexed when he saw your message in the group chat saying you couldn’t make it tonight. While the guys did express their wishes that you were here with them, Jeno felt your absence more than anyone in the room.

He wasn’t really thinking when they were onto the second movie, and Jeno decided he couldn’t take it anymore. With most of the guys already asleep, he slipped out of Chenle’s place without drawing any attention. Eighteen minutes later, Jeno found himself standing outside your apartment. He hesitated for a moment before pressing the doorbell, anticipating your reaction.

Your surprise was evident when you opened the door, and a slight blush was quick to form across your cheeks. Your current attire wasn’t exactly fitting for socializing, as you wore a white long-knit cardigan over your dark gray house clothes. 

Despite feeling embarrassed, you greeted him softly. “Hey Jeno. Aren’t you supposed to be at Chenle’s?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t feel the same without you there,” Jeno mumbled sheepishly, scratching his head before holding up the black plastic bag in his hand. “And I thought you might want some company since it’s a Friday night and all.”

His words caused a small smile to spread across your face. However, you were conflicted because a part of you didn’t want to let him in, knowing you weren’t in the right state to see people. But you didn’t have the heart to turn him away, knowing he came all the way here to be a good friend. So reluctantly, you took a step back and opened the door further so he could come inside.

Jeno quickly removed his sneakers and eagerly followed you into the living room. The two of you settled on the floor by the coffee table. The canned beer was cold against your fingertips as you opened them, the soft click of the tabs echoing in the quiet room. 

The two of you exchanged quiet smiles as your cans clinked against each other in a toast. Your chins lifted in sync as you both took your first sips of the alcoholic beverage. Shortly after you placed your can down on a coaster, Jeno followed suit.

“You doing okay?” he asked, breaking the short silence between you two.

The concern in his question was understandable, considering your lack of presence at a gathering that even the most antisocial person, like yourself, wouldn’t typically miss. 

You responded almost too quickly, letting out a light chuckle. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

However, Jeno could see through your feigned nonchalance. He somewhat predicted you’d brush him off, given he’s known you for over a year. In your friend group, there was Donghyuck and Chenle who were always the loudest, with Renjun occasionally joining in to argue. Then there was Mark and Jisung trying to be the mediators, while he and Jaemin watched things unfold in amusement. Out of everyone, you were always the quiet one, seemingly unperturbed by anything. 

“You can be honest with me, (Y/n),” he insisted gently.

Your fingers curled around the green can, applying slight pressure. He caught a flicker of vulnerability passing through your eyes before you lowered your gaze to the wooden table.

“I just…I just feel like I’m falling apart,” you confessed quietly, your resolve finally crumbling.

You paused to exhale shakily, feeling the weight of your emotions that you’d kept bottled up long past their expiration date. 

“I’m so tired of holding it all together,” you said, your voice cracking with emotion. “Pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.”

Jeno listened carefully and nodded lightly in understanding. “You don’t have to pretend with me. Suppressing your emotions won’t make them disappear.”

Before you could register it, your cheek began to feel wet and your hands instinctively moved to cover your eyes. Fresh, hot tears soaked through your fingers as your shoulders trembled. You tried to stop the flow, but they continued unabated.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, the self-conscious part of you horrified at the act of crying in front of someone. And not just anyone, but Jeno.

The dark-haired male reached out to gently pat your shoulder. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his touch offering a comforting presence. Despite feeling humiliated, you sensed the sincerity in his words.

“It’s just…everyone expects me to be strong and level-headed when I’m not either of those things in reality,” you sobbed, tears continuing to spill out mercilessly. “No one can see that I’m suffering. No one cares.”

Although Jeno wasn’t great at showing it, hearing this from you made his heart sink. He had no idea you had been fighting this mental battle. Shame filled him for not recognizing your struggles sooner. 

With his hand still on your shoulder, he spoke softly. “I care, (Y/n). More than I probably should, actually.

Amidst your breakdown, you picked up on the subtle implication in his response and your gaze flickered up to look at him with confusion. 

A small sigh left Jeno’s lips. He didn’t intend for his feelings to be revealed in this way. But this was not the time to have that conversation. 

“I know you don’t need a confession right now,” he said, shaking his head before meeting your eyes once more. “But…can I hug you?”

At first glance, Jeno didn’t seem like the type of person to be physically affectionate, even with friends. However, after knowing personally you learned just how much of a softie he could be. Of course, he wasn’t touchy with you out of respect. But you often witnessed this behavior with Jaemin since they were pretty close.

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding with uncertainty. Usually, you weren’t someone who liked to be physically comforted—or perhaps you weren’t used to it. Yet, the idea of being hugged by Jeno didn’t sound too bad at that moment.

So you nodded, and he scooted over to wrap his arms around you. His embrace was firm yet gentle, not overwhelming. Enveloped in Jeno’s arms, you felt a warmth spread through your chest, a sense of solace you hadn’t known you needed. He let you cry into his shoulder, patting your back soothingly.

Despite the chaos of your inner turmoil, your feelings for Jeno didn’t feel so platonic anymore after that night. Or maybe there had always been something there that you never gave a second thought to before. Either way, Jeno was the safest place for you right now. 

Even as everything seemed to fall apart, he was there to reassure you that you didn’t have to be alone anymore.

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[roomsofangel]

CHAPTER TWO

synopsis you spent your entire childhood and teenage years being what your mother wanted you to be — and so when you finally strike a deal and made a bet with the woman, you are determined to prove her wrong and that your passion for art could be turned into a living if you just tried hard enough.

however, things might have just gotten harder when you cross paths with the lead vocalist of an uprising rock band who seems to be nothing but a charming thorn in your side

wc 4.3k (oopsie)

warnings mentions of alcohol consumption, y/n really just wanting to throw hands with hongjoong

reblogs & comments are very appreciated and also help out a lot! thank you for reading and giving my work a chance ♥️

you tossed and turned in your bed, unable to shake the memories of the previous night from your mind. despite your best efforts to push the thoughts away, you couldn’t shake away his stupid face from your brain that managed to latch itself there — it all replayed like a broken record, stuck on a single track you wished you could skip. the way his eyes rolled back in his stupid head, the nonchalant way he smoked his cigarette, and the raw emotion in his voice as he poured out his heart on the stage – it all haunted you. you pulled your pillow over your face, giving in to the frustration as you let out a scream into it, your grip on the pillow tightening as if it could soothe your troubled thoughts.

your mind refused to let go, replaying every moment over and over again like a repetitive loop. the way his eyes seemed to pierce right through you, lingered in your thoughts, seeping into your consciousness like a stubborn stain.

in a hurry to find some relief from your restless thoughts, you quickly threw off your blankets and slipped into your slippers. hastily grabbing your house keys, you draped your teddy bear jacket over your shoulders before stepping out into the night. the idea of a late-night snack or a cup of warm tea from your favorite 24-hour corner store seemed like the perfect antidote to your troubled mind. as you stepped outside, the cool night air hit your face, providing a brief distraction from the storm of thoughts swirling in your head.

as you walked towards the 24-hour store, you couldn't help but shiver from the cold despite wearing your warm jacket. you mentally cursed yourself for wearing loose chococat pajama shorts, feeling the chill against your bare legs. huffing, you continued walking, the cool air nipping at your skin and causing you to shiver again. you tried to ignore the cold and focus on the destination that laid ahead, the warm lights of the store growing brighter in the distance.

you finally stepped into the parking lot, taking note of the few cars scattered around – you assumed a couple belonged to employees. without wasting any time, you made a beeline towards the tea section, your mind set on finding some comfort in a warm cup. the store was quiet this late at night, the only sounds being the soft hum of the refrigerator and your footsteps padding along the tile floor.

when you extended your hand towards a packet of chamomile tea, you suddenly felt another hand overlapping yours. the touch felt cold, as if the other person had also been outside in the cold night air. your eyes widened slightly in surprise as you looked up to see who the other hand belonged to.

no, fuck no.

in front of you, standing in the flesh, was kim hongjoong. you felt a mix of surprise and unease as you recognized his face from the night before and the morning hours before that, the very same face that had been lingering in your thoughts not too long ago.

“are you just going to stare?”

you snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of his voice. his tone held a sharp edge, and you were quickly reminded of why you had wanted to strangle him during your previous encounters. you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feelings of irritation and unease that came with being in his presence.

"well, i wasn't expecting to see you here," you retorted, your own voice slightly tinged with annoyance.

he raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the annoyance in your voice. "ah, so you speak," he retorted in a sardonic tone, taking a step closer to you.

you scowled, not appreciating his attempt at humor. "what are you even doing here?" you asked, crossing your arms defensively.

he shrugged, reaching out to grab a packet of chamomile tea from the shelf, the very same packet that you had your hand on just a moment ago. "getting tea" he replied, a smirk playing on his lips.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his nonchalant response. "at this hour? It’s practically the middle of the night," you pointed out, resenting the fact that he had reached for the tea you wanted to grab.

he chuckled, holding up the packet of chamomile tea in his hand, his smirk growing wider. "and yet, here we both are, up and buying tea in the middle of the night," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of mockery.

you opened your mouth to respond but shut it quickly, realizing that he had a point. there was no use in arguing when both of you were there for the same reason. a moment of silence passed between the two of you, the hum of the store's lights filling the air.

he broke the silence first, a smirk still plastered on his face. "so, let me guess," he said, leaning against the shelf next to you, "couldn’t sleep?"

you felt a pang of irritation at his sarcastic tone, but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was right. you let out a small huff, trying to maintain your composure.

“and what makes you think that i couldn’t sleep?" you retorted, your voice laced with a hint of defensiveness.

he chuckled, his smirk turning into a full-blown smile. "call it an educated guess," he replied nonchalantly. "you look like you haven't slept a wink."

and you couldn’t help but glare, “and what is that supposed to mean?”

he chuckled again, enjoying the way you responded to his comments. "it means exactly what it sounds like. you look exhausted," he replied, his tone still nonchalant.

you felt another pang of annoyance at his observation. “oh, so now you’re a expert on how tired i look?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

he shrugged, still holding onto the packet of chamomile tea. "maybe not an expert, but it’s pretty obvious," he said, gesturing towards your face. "dark circles under your eyes, tired expression. it’s not hard to tell."

your irritation grew at his casual attitude. "gee, thanks for the observation, captain obvious," you retorted, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

he hummed, seemingly unbothered by your attitude. "just stating the facts," he replied, a smirk playing on his lips once more.

you huffed, crossing your arms defensively. "well, maybe the reason i can’t sleep is because someone has been stuck in my head all night," you muttered, half to yourself, half to him.

his smirk widened at your comment, clearly pleased by the fact that he had been on your mind. "oh? so i’ve been living rent-free in your head all night, huh?" he teased, leaning a bit closer to you.

you felt a strong wave of embarrassment at being called out on your thoughts, but you tried to hide it behind your irritation. "more like a stubborn parasite," you retorted, shifting slightly away from him.

as soon as the words left your mouth, you realized your mistake. you had inadvertently admitted that it was him who had been occupying your thoughts all night. you mentally cursed yourself for not taking the opportunity to deny it.

he chuckled at your reaction, “a parasite, huh?" he repeated, his smirk growing wider. "i’ll have you know that i take great pride in my ability to worm my way into people’s minds."

you scowled, refusing to admit aloud that he had a point. "well, consider yourself an unwanted guest in my mind then," you retorted, crossing your arms defensively.

his smirk turned into a full-blown smile. "unwanted, but not forgettable, right?" he said, his tone teasing.

"you know, you’re quite entertaining when you’re mad," he taunted, his expression still smug.

you huffed, "i’m glad my anger amuses you," you replied sarcastically. "maybe i should just punch you to give you a better show."

he feigned a look of mock concern, raising his hands in a defensive gesture. "woah, woah, let’s not resort to violence now. i’m much too pretty to have my face ruined," he humored, his smirk never wavering.

you rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to give in to the temptation to smack him. "spare me the modesty. you know damn well you’d still be pretty even if i did ruin your face," you retorted.

he chuckled, “ah, so you think i’m pretty, huh?" he echoed your words, his tone filled with playful sarcasm.

you felt embarrassed at having your words turned back on you, but you refused to back down. "pretty annoying, yes. pretty much the bane of my existence, absolutely," you retorted, the sarcasm still evident in your voice.

despite your inner monologue telling you to just walk away, you found yourself unable to do so. there was something about his smug, insufferable attitude that kept you engaged in the conversation. you glanced back at the chamomile tea in his hand, contemplating whether to just grab it from him and make a swift exit, or continue the banter.

however, you also realized that the longer this interaction went on, the more appealing the thought of alcohol became, rather than the tea you originally intended to buy.

he seemed to notice your inner turmoil, his smirk growing wider as he spoke. "ah, i can practically hear the gears turning in your head," he teased, holding the packet of chamomile tea out in front of you. "can’t decide if you want to strangle me or kiss me?"

his words took you by surprise, your cheeks flushing involuntarily at the unexpected imagery he had just put into your mind. "what— no!" you protested, trying to hide your embarrassment. "i was not contemplating strangling or kissing you, you arrogant prick."

“you sure about that? your cheeks are a bit rosy, sweetheart."

you cursed silently. damn him for noticing your flushed cheeks. "it’s just the cold," you retorted weakly, mentally willing your face to stop betraying you.

by this point, your initial plan of just getting a packet of tea and going back home had completely derailed in your mind. the banter with hongjoong had turned your thoughts to alcohol, causing you to consider buying a couple of fireballs and some chips instead. you weren’t sure if it was your exhaustion playing a role or if your nerves were just being frayed by his insufferable presence. either way, you were certain that you needed something stronger than chamomile tea to get through this situation.

noticing your distracted expression, hongjoong chuckled to himself. "what’s on your mind, sweetheart? you seem a little preoccupied there."

you snapped out of your thoughts, realizing that he had caught you in your mental dilemma. “it’s nothing," you replied, feigning nonchalance. "just thinking about what else i need to get beside the tea."

he raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. "and what exactly do you need besides tea?" he asked, leaning in closer to you again.

you could practically feel the heat radiating from his body despite the freezing temperatures as he leaned closer, and you took an involuntary step back, your brain scrambling for a clever comeback.

the last thing you needed was for him to know you were contemplating buying alcohol solely because of his presence, or worse, that you were enjoying the banter.

you decided to play it cool, hoping that he wouldn’t see through your lie. "just some snacks," you replied, trying to sound casual. "you know, the usual late-night cravings."

you quickly snatched the packet of tea from his hand, not giving him a chance to respond. "and i’ll be needing this, thanks," you said, not waiting for a response before hurrying off to grab two fireballs and some chips from the snack aisle.

you made your way to the cashier, avoiding any further interaction with hongjoong, wanting to put as much distance between you as possible.

once you had paid for your items, you grabbed the bag of chips and fireballs and headed towards the exit of the store, wanting to escape hongjoong’s presence as quickly as possible. however, he seemed to have other plans.

"leaving so soon?" he called out, his voicd carrying across the store. "you hardly spent any time with me."

you froze in your tracks, cursing silently under your breath. you were hoping to make a quick exit without any further interaction with him, but it seemed like he was determined to prolong the encounter.

turning around to face him, you tried to maintain a neutral expression on your face. "i got what i came for," you replied, holding up the bag of chips and fireballs as if to prove a point.

he sauntered up to you, a smirk playing on his lips. "and here i thought we were just starting to have fun," he teased, stopping a few feet away from you.

you rolled your eyes at his comment, resisting the urge to strangle him. "your idea of fun is giving me a headache," you retorted, attempting to maintain a sarcastic tone.

before hongjoong could respond, your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket, saving you from having to listen to whatever smartass comment he had ready in his arsenal. you thanked your lucky stars for whoever it was who decided to text you at such an ungodly hour. you quickly fished it out of your pocket, checking the message, silently grateful for the interruption.

yeosangie: the neighbor’s cat got in my yard again.

you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, grateful for yeosang’s timing but also the fact that this was a common occurrence ever since he got his new neighbors. they had a cat that loved yeosang’s garden, which wouldn’t be a huge deal if the cat didn’t use the doggy door to get in with dirty paws making yeosang freak out more than his dog that became friends with the cat instead

you quickly typed out a response, feeling a sense of relief that this was a welcome distraction from the annoying presence of hongjoong standing next to you.

you: tell the cat i said hi :p

you sent the message and looked up, realizing that hongjoong was still standing there, watching you intently with a raised eyebrow.

he seemed to be observing your reaction to the text on your phone with curiosity, waiting for you to notice that he was still standing there. once you looked up and made eye contact with him, he broke the silence.

"boyfriend?" he asked, a hint of mockery in his tone.

you couldn’t help but scoff at his question. "hardly," you retorted, rolling your eyes. "just a friend."

he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your response. "just a friend, huh? texting you in the middle of the night?"

"yes, just a friend," you repeated, your annoyance creeping into your voice. "he’s having a late night cat conundrum."

hongjoong chuckled at your response, clearly enjoying the situation. "the cat conundrum, huh? sounds like quite the predicament."

yeosangie: you’re no help!

"yeah, yeah," you replied, slightly annoyed by his amused expression. "his new neighbors have a cat that has a habit of sneaking into his yard and messing up his garden."

he chuckled again, clearly entertained by the situation. "ah, so he has a kitty problem, huh? that’s actually adorable."

you gave him a withering glare at his description of yeosang's predicament as 'adorable'. "i guess if you find muddy paw prints and dead mice on your stoop cute, then sure," you retorted, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

he raised his hands in mock surrender at your comment. "my apologies. not cute, then. a living nightmare, perhaps?" he amused, his smirk growing wider.

you couldn’t help but scoff at his sarcastic retort. "you could say that," you replied, shaking your head slightly. "yeosang's not exactly thrilled about it, especially since he's a bit of a neat freak."

he chuckled, clearly finding the situation amusing. "a neat freak with a dirty feline intruder? now that's a sitcom waiting to happen."

why were you still talking to him? you wanted to rip your hair out, “yeah so i should head out now,” you quickly responded as a departure and began to hurry down the roads that lead to your apartment

as you quickened your pace, trying to escape his presence, you heard him call out to you from behind.

"nice jacket!"

you mentally cursed at the sound of his voice, turning around to flip him off before continuing on your way.

he called out again, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "love the middle finger, too, sweetheart!"

you could practically feel him smirking from behind.

with the next morning rolling around, you stirred awake on your couch, your head throbbing from the after-effects of the fireball and the lack of actual sleep on a proper bed, you couldn't help but wonder what the hell had gotten into you.

your planned tea night had turned into a sketching extravaganza followed by a fireball-induced nap on your couch. you groaned, rubbing your temples as you sat up, trying to coax the headache away.

last night's encounter with hongjoong played back in your mind, making you scowl slightly.

why had you entertained hongjoong’s playful banter? why did you even give him the time of day? the thought of his smug expression and carefree attitude make your head ache even more, and you let out a frustrated sigh.

part of you wished you could just chalk it up to exhaustion or the influence of the fireball you'd drank, but deep down, you knew there was more to it than just that. there was something about that stupid rockstar that had gotten under your skin, and it bothered you more than you cared to admit.

you groaned again, standing up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen to grab some painkillers for your headache. maybe some caffeine would help clear your mind.

you winced as you turned on the kettle, the sound of the boiling water exacerbating your headache. you rummaged through your cabinets, searching for some painkillers to help alleviate the throbbing pain. finally, you found a small bottle of ibuprofen and popped two pills into your mouth, washing them down with a glass of water.

as you waited for the kettle to finish boiling, you sat down at the kitchen table, staring off into space. your thoughts wandered back to hongjoong, his smirk and carefree attitude playing like a broken record in your mind. it was infuriating how easily he had gotten under your skin, and it made you want to tear your hair out.

the sound of the kettle boiling brought you back to reality, and you got up to make yourself a cup of coffee. while you stirred in some sugar and a hint of milk, you tried to clear your thoughts, focusing on the task at hand.

you took a sip of your coffee, the warm liquid grounding you in the present moment. you knew you had another art class in the afternoon, and you needed to focus on that.

in your annoyance, you cursed yourself internally for letting hongjoong get to you. how could someone you had only seen twice and had a single full interaction with have this much of an effect on you?

you shook your head once more, as if physically trying to shake off the unwelcome distractions. you had a class to attend and goals to focus on, and that's exactly what you were going to do.

you reached for your phone, taking another sip of your coffee as you unlocked the screen to check a notification.

yeosangie: how did hongjoong know about my garden cat :(

you couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at yeosang's text, his mention of hongjoong bringing the rockstar's face to the forefront of your mind again. you wanted to groan while typing out your response, fingers flying over the screen.

you: he knows about the cat??

you knew full well that you were the reason hongjoong knew about the cat, but yeosang didn't need to know that. you sent the message and waited for his response, silently hoping that he wouldn't ask any follow-up questions about how hongjoong knew.

yeosang's response came quickly, and your heart rate spiked for a moment, fearing he would ask more questions about hongjoong's knowledge of the cat situation.

but to your relief, his reply was a simple rolling eyes emoji. you let out a small sigh, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. you weren't quite prepared to deal with any questions about how hongjoong knew, not when you barely understood why you even let yourself get that far in conversation with him.

you forced yourself to snap out of your thoughts, focusing on the task at hand. you couldn't let yourself dwell on the hongjoong-related distractions any longer.

you finished the last of your coffee and pushed yourself away from the kitchen table. the clock was ticking and you had an art class to attend. with determined strides, you made your way to your bedroom to change into fresh clothes for the afternoon.

the change of clothes helped shift your focus back to the task at hand, the act of getting dressed grounding you in the present moment. as you checked yourself in the mirror, ensuring that you looked presentable, the sound of your phone buzzing startled you.

you snatched your phone from the bedside table, hoping it was just a benign message and not one bringing back the hongjoong-related thoughts you were fighting to suppress.

yeosangie: hey can i come over after your class?

you breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of yeosang's name on the screen. it was just a simple request for a visit after your art class

before responding, you quickly checked the time, realizing that you had to hurry to make it to your art class.

you: yeah i’ll even get chicken :3

yeosangie: know me so well

as you read his last reply, you tucked your phone into your bag and rushed out of your apartment, locking the door behind you. the cool air outside helped clear your mind, and you focused on making it to the art class on time.

the walk to class felt like both an eternity and a blur, your mind flipping back and forth between thoughts of hongjoong and your upcoming class. you pushed through, determined to give your best in class and put all thoughts of the rockstar out of your head for the moment. you still had a point to prove, a deadline to meet and a mother to prove wrong.

as you pushed open the door to the art classroom, you were greeted by the familiar sight of easels, paint splatters, and a couple of your fellow students chattering amongst themselves. you took a deep breath, letting the familiar scent of paint and creativity envelop you as you made your way to your workspace.

you settled into your seat and began preparing your materials, the routine motions helping to calm your racing mind. your canvas stood before you, blank and waiting for your vision to come alive.

“wooyoung wanted me to see if you were coming to halazia’s gig tomorrow night,”

you glanced up at yeosang, who was sprawled out on your couch, munching on the chicken you’d picked up for his visit. at the mention of the gig, you felt a pang of something akin to anxiety.

"ah," you replied vaguely, turning your attention back to the sketchbook in your lap. "i’ll see."

you continued to sketch in your sketchbook, avoiding eye contact with yeosang, as you mentally grappled with the thought of potentially seeing hongjoong again. the thought sent a mix of annoyance and a strange flutter in your stomach, a feeling you couldn’t quite place.

you remembered how yeosang had described hongjoong as closed off, which contradicted the charismatic and flirty demeanor you had witnessed firsthand.

as you continued to sketch without looking up, yeosang’s voice interrupted your thoughts once again. “i already know your answer.” he mumbled through a mouthful of chicken, “you will make up some excuse and stay home.”

you paused your sketching, a hint of irritation creeping in. yeosang knew you all too well, and it frustrated you that he could predict your answer so easily.

"i’m just not sure i feel like going," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant as you forced yourself to sketch again, even though your mind was elsewhere.

"right," yeosang rolled his eyes, knowing that you were trying to play it cool. he had known you for far too long to fall for your facade. he reached for another piece of chicken, the topic of conversation still not quite dropped. "you'll do anything not to run into hongjoong again after finding out he was the morning asshole, won’t you?"

your grip on your pencil tightened at the mention of hongjoong's name again. you didn’t like how obvious you were, but you couldn’t help it. the thought of potentially seeing him again made your stomach flip-flop in a way you didn’t want to think about.

you replied with a hint of annoyance, hoping to brush off his remark. "it’s not that. i just don’t feel like going."

yeosang chuckled at your response, seeing right through your feeble attempt at hiding your aversion towards running into hongjoong. he knew you better than anyone, and your subtle reactions told him all he needed to know.

"sure,” he smirked. “you keep telling yourself that."

wanting to drop and change the subject, you huffed, “fine, i’ll go,”

yeosang’s smirk widened at your surrender, clearly pleased that he had gotten his way. but he couldn't help but tease you a bit more. “so you’ll come along?” he inquired, his eyes glinting with amusement.

you grumbled in response, feeling a mix of resignation and irritation at yourself for giving in to yeosang’s request. “yeah, i guess,” you responded, your voice lacking enthusiasm. “i’ll go.”

how on earth are you going to get through this?

prev . . masterlist . . next

[canaidliafail]

and still I yearn…

Abby anderson x f!reader 🌿

Starts with ANGST becomes sweet and steamy later not to endlessly yap again on how this is another vent fic but it is. Not proof read.

3.5 k words ? or smt like that. Anyways I hope you enjoy it (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡

MDI

“So why not drop her? Just give us a chance” she pleaded desperation seeping into her voice now. Maybe it was the alcohol or the cheap shitty weed she inhaled but her emotions were spilling out of her as she had you pinned against the wall

You couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. your hands were still on her shaking sternum and you tried to swallow being awfully aware of your tongue and its weight

“What's gotten into you abs? Does the big bad wolf have feelings for me after all?” you tried to play it off ready to pull the -you are drunk- card but she wasn't having it

she grabbed your chin and forced your eyes to meet her own. she was contemplating something as you saw her roll her tongue on the inside of her cheek which turned into a crooked half smile

“What if I do? Will it change anything ? Will it finally make you consider this?”

You were ready to give up everything. Your fickle situationship that left you unfulfilled and vulnerable, all to get a taste of what she could offer. But you couldn't find it within you to trust her. You didn't feel as though you mattered much to her either. Not more than all the other one night stands she pulled with the other girls.

-your relationship was shitty and you agreed on it being open so that your girlfriend could explore her options without guilt. Back then you didn't think it would bother you. But back then you were ready to break every boundary and become a carpet to be stepped on much like you were ready to do so all over again but for a different person now-

“Abby, Listen this- what we have is fun- but Im with someone”

“and is this someone in the room with us? Cause last I checked they happily left the party with that new recruit”

Abby dove in and started trailing kisses and gentle bites up your neck again covering old bitemarks with her own as you willingly exposed your skin to her. words died in your throat and instead were replaced by soft moans and gasps

She caged you in her embrace, hands around your waist and head, tangled in your hair as she lapped at the tender skin before finally finding your lips for an extended makeout session

Abby was known for the heat she packed and you could confirm the rumors cause to win Abbys devotion was to feel like you earned the favor of Gods

She took her time and where words failed her, her actions showed how much she loved women.

“Please” she begged and you were taken out of your short lived heaven by feeling the fabric of your shirt damp

her shoulders were shaking and your heart felt like it was going to break.

“Please, Give me a chance…I love you”

there was a pause “is my love not enough?”

You wish you had said something back then. But you stayed quiet and just run your fingers through her hair comforting her….silently rejecting her

••••

You saw the schedule and it felt as if it looked back at you

“shit” you whispered and Mel walked over

“You're out with Abby?”

Your lips thinned and you crossed your arms. 3 months have passed without you two looking or speaking a word to one another. Whether it was luck or Abby pulling strings your schedules never matched and your daily routines were on opposite sides of the HQ.

Going from sneaking into her room and hanging out as much as your days allowed to not seeing each other had been rough but it was a choice she made and one you could respect

“Did you two have a falling out? I know she can be mean-“

“mean?” you were thrown off guard with her remark. She could be a cunt in bed but outside of your sexual endeavors Abby was soft, fragile even. It shocked and pained you that you were the only one to see that.

“Mel what do you want?” you asked not in the mood to talk to her. She looked at you confused on why you were hissing like a cat again

“You must be having a bad day. Good luck outside today” she said and turned to leave.

bad day, bad life hard to tell. You went to check in for guns and grabbed your backpack. With heavy steps you walked outside to the yard where the car was waiting for you. You breathed a sigh of relief seeing as you were the first one to arrive and jumped in the seat, adjusting it and making yourself comfortable

You heard the door open and looked up, oxygen failing to fill your lungs as your breath was cut short. Oh she still looked as gorgeous as you remembered. her hair in a tight braid and her blonde lashes catching the sun accentuating them

“What?” She growled and you tried clearing your throat and smiled “Long time no see abs”

Her lip twitched and she slid in taking a seat “Just don't fuck up today. Had enough rounds with incompetent new recruits lately and my patience has run thin”

You turned on the engine, a strong hum vibrating through the seats and your sternum

Ignoring her mean jab at you “Maybe it’s not them, maybe it’s you who’s insufferable”

And she just scoffed not bothering to entertain your banter

You had to go for supplies farther than usual which meant you inevitably would spend the night somewhere and you were dreading that moment it would happen “we could sleep at the hospital so long as it’s clear. that was we can get an early start and hopefully be back tomorrow before it’s too late at night” Abby checked the map

‘Works for me. You good with driving today ? Or do you need to switch up from now?”

“I’m fine. You aren’t the only one out there doing rounds” you hissed and she just couldn’t seem to let it go “sure feels like it”

“Can you not make this any more difficult than it needs to be?!” You pulled up near a building “Listen we are out in the open. It does not benefit either of us to be at each other’s necks” and Abby just frowned

“So easily swayed by emotions. I assumed you had a better grip on them. you seem to live quiet well under difficult circumstances”

“If this is about my ex-“

“ex?” She asked now surprised and you were not having it

��save whatever mean shit you want to throw at me. I knew it back then and I know it now but Abby we are in the middle of a damn apocalypse and I didn’t have the luxury of looking for my Prince Charming”

she grabbed her gun “Let’s just walk huh? Hospitals close and we don’t wanna alert any more infected our way” she growled and kicked the door open contradicting her statement.

You checked ahead of you having a very clear view of the hospital. You grabbed your things and locked the doors following Abby few steps behind knowing what you said was foul but not Caring enough to fix it. The time that it would have mattered to do that was far gone now anyways…

———

“Shit. Empty empty and…” she tossed another kit “empty. we will have to check the pharmacy at the East end of the town” you crouched by the isles and mindlessly browsed through the tinted bottles checking for any luck

“it’s getting dark outside” she went to start strapping her knives on her hip pouch

“Abby I will not fight with you for this”

“It wasn't even a topic up for debate. I can handle myself” you got up “Abby. There’s no need to risk this”

“i'm not risking anything. the only risk would be you joining me. So how about you get your beauty’s sleep and I do the job yeah?” And before you could even comprehend your movements you had punched her, a square hit on her jaw that made her stumble a tad. She rubbed at the abused spot and licked the inside of her cheek.

She spit on the ground, saliva mixed with blood and smirked “this is my way of making it easier for us you selfish cunt” she said her tone stern and low as she grabbed you by the collar “I’m trying to give you space” and you pushed her away, her grip on your shirt stronger than before pulling you against her,leading you to harshly bump against another rusty isle

It eventually fell,glass bottles and tubes crashing and iron shelves shaking with force. And in the distance you heard what could not be mistaken for a hoard of infected alerted by your way

“Guess we are going to that fucking pharmacy after all” you yelled and grabbed your bag in a haste running with Abby as the first clicker, came bursting in through the door.

She pushed you forward in an attempt to speed you up. You jumped over the windowsill and lunged on the door leaving space for Abby to kick it open. You followed after her looking around the first corner you could turn to hopefully lose them before heading into the pharmacy. She yanked you by your jacket before you noticed and pulled you to the side of a shield shut garage door. “Ill haul you up, you’ll pull me later” And with that she crossed the palms of your hands bending down against the wall waiting for you.

Your boot met her hand and she thrusted you up whiched you leaped and grabbed onto the edge of the building scanning the apartment room which to your relief was empty. You steadied yourself on the wall and extended your arm for Abby to grab.

She leaped up a rusty pipe and barely grabbed you on time before it cracked and split in two.

You hauled her up with a low grunt and finally she was close enough to reach onto the windows rim and pull herself in closing it shut and looking around for wood or anything else to hopefully create a temporary barricade

“Abby the shelves” you said pointing to an old bookcase. You got up and grabbed one end and she took the other dragging the musty furniture and bringing it in front of the window.

“Won’t do much but its blocking us out of sight at least”

“So guess this is our stop for tonight” You huffed out panting and wiped the sweat off you brow. She didn't seem shaken physically but her fingers tips twitched and you feared you would cry. You missed her. You had missed her so fucking much

You had almost forgotten how sensitive she was. How beneath all that cockiness and sneering smile she was just like you,struggling to survive and putting up a strong front.

“We’re ok” you found yourself say out of old habit and she glared at you. She breathed out a long sigh and tossed her backpack to the side looking around the room to create a makeshift bed for the night. Didn’t have much, and the dust was bound to give you an itch tomorrow morning but its not like you were used to living in luxury anyways

“Got canned food”

“Sick. Think Ill stick to my wrapped burrito” she said cockiness seeping back in and you were reminded that Abby Anderson was in fact a little more privileged than you.

“Well my bad for trying to be considerate”

“Little late for that,yeah?” Her words seemed to have surprised her as well as she cocked her head to the side wincing at her statement. You weren't ready to let it go though

“Abby what do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you?” She asked and rose to her full height approaching you like a predator

“Oh fuck off, you wont scare me” You half yelled and she chuckled,dark,low and humorless

“Scare you? Really now? WHy the fuck would I ever want to scare you? Is this really how you see me? After all-“ she tried but stopped herself

“No Abby thats not what I’m fucking saying but get over yourself already. What the hell could I have done back then?”

“Does it matter?” She was finally a few inches from you. Been a while since you felt her this close. Since you felt her scent engulfing you pleasantly. Shielding you almost.

“What can I do now then?”

You begged almost at this point not realizing how much you needed her back in your life until this moment. You grabbed her wrist pulling her closer “Tell me” You urged her on and she seemed to lose her trail of thought as her gaze was fixated on the wooden floor

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter”

You applied pressure on her wrist and yanked it your way throwing her off balance enough to twist her body and push it against the wall with your other arm almost caging her in.

“It does”

“Just…why ?” She said crestfallen and you saw it again. The same Abby you left at manny’s party three months ago.

Why indeed.

You couldn’t tame the wind, but you surely could knock it right out of someone.

You prided yourself in your infinite freedom and seeming obvious desire to keep it. Your now,ex, found it fit to call you, her little dove. And with a sweet name and a golden cage she clipped your wings and shoved you to the side like a trophy collecting dust

You couldn’t believe how many lies someone could say while claiming they were honest. That they were true and it was you who had twisted everything out of context.

She did say she only loved you but wanted things open ended so that they wouldnt have physical limitations, and so you felt if her heart was bound to you that it didnt matter how many slept with her. She belonged to you after all.

But that was far,far from what had happened. First it was her best friend who in her words “the bond we share is deep and unexplainable, Something spontaneous and unique” And you would see her devote more time to her than to you. And if it wasn't her best friend it was someone new she had met and shared another spontaneous and special bond.

When Abby entered the picture, at first it was out of desperation to get over your realities. She wanted to erase the memory of the godawful last hook up with Owen and you, well you wanted to see if your ex would get jealous seeing you flirt with others. But to your horror she urged you to invite Abby to your bed.

And then came the sinking realization that you weren't possessive of your -back than girlfriend- No…. no, You were possessive over Abby. You fell first, but Abby fell harder.

“I…I really wish I had acted differently back then” You found yourself admit

You pulled your hands away from her wrist and shoulder and fidgeted with your fingers, guilt gnawing at you. Guilt and regret.

To your surprise Abby pulled you back in by your waist, her hand finding, and grabbing your jaw, directing her way as her lips collected yours in a heated kiss, hatred mixed with re ignited passion. The wet sounds and pants filled the room as she took her time indulging you,your tongue stroking hers and her hand stroking your waist

She pulled away for a moment “Then act differently now” She begged and you answered in the form of another kiss, hands eager to dive in that god forsaken braid, digging and pulling her face closer.

Her hand ventured lower, grabbing your ass and pulling you in letting you shamelessly grind on her thick thigh. You let out a sigh feeling heat pool in your stomach as your lips parted a thin string of saliva connecting you two before it split, along with her composure.

She pushed you on the floor not wanting to waste a second longer of the heaven that she was denied from, for so long. “Do you mind?” She asked and you were stunned that your reaction wasn't enough of a hint. You nod and her fingers stopped at your belt clasp playing with the cold metal

“Words”

“Yes, Gods Abby please fuck me”

She sneered, and if it was possible it was the sweetest image you had seen in days. She took her time removing your belt and pants leaving you only in your boxers. She left a trail of hot kissed from your stomach down the line of yours boxers stopping right above the part that ached for her touch the most

“You are mine” she claimed her hands grabbing your thighs and propping them up her shoulders. It was a statement “You always were and always will be” and she finally dove to kiss your wet cunt above the damp cloth. Drenched would be a better description

You longed for this. For this possessiveness. For someone to lust and starve for you the way only Abby could.

No, you longed for Abby and the way she knew how to love you

“Fuck Abby’ You hissed as you felt her hot tongue press against your folds without letting you experience it in its entirety

“Doesn’t matter where you go, You’ll always end up in my arms”

She said and finally freed you from your underwear

“And under my tongue”

She didn't hesitate this time, patience evaporating as she started lapping up at your dripping pussy, feasting on you like a starved lynx. Her tongue explored every crevice and fold before devoting her attention to your clit which made you scream out her name. Your sighs and moans filled the air and mixed with her own, needy ones as she seemed to enjoy this every bit as much as you did.

Her fingers teased at your entrance and your head shot up. She stopped and looked at you, licking her plump lips that were glistening with your slick like an animal finishing its meal. She stalked closer, her body hovering above yours and you were cut off from whispering her name as her lips caught yours in a heated makeout session

Her fingers dove in while she continued to assault your lips, biting gently and licking not giving you the pleasure of moaning loud like you wanted “Save that pretty voice for when we are back to base” She finally commanded

“I will need everyone to hear who you belong to now” Your core clenched and you felt yourself coming closer and closer to the edge. She started pumping her fingers, filling you like no one ever could and her arm cradled your head almost lovingly, not wanting your head to hurt from pressing against the hard floor.

All while she mercilessly fucked you sensless picking up the pace, going deeper,harder every time she heard you claim her. Your nails dug deep into her skin leaving hot marks, evidence of all your acts. You bit her neck again and again, free to leave bite marks as you pleased

“Abby I-“ she nodded, urging you on to do what you needed as she pulled you closer in the crook of her neck while her fingers ruined your throbbing pussy, and with one final push you felt yourself spill all over her hands. She didn't pull out right away, loving the sensation of your walls clenched against her, Wanting more of this endless feeling of being connected so intimately with you

“I love you, fuck I love you so much” You whispered and felt tears starting to spill. Surprised she pulled out her fingers,messily wiping them on her cargo pants as now both hands held you close to her from your face, hand caressing your cheek and wiping the tears that didn't seem to stop

“I love-“ You gasped and she hushed you,rolling you both to the side. She went to stroke your hair gently, with so much affection that it was almost painful

“I know my little dove” your eyes opened wide, for the first time in years, you felt this name held a different meaning. A sweet one

“I love you too” She whispered and let you cry out to your heart's content from finally, happiness

[applesaucesims]

After putting little Louis to bed, Emma was quick to fall asleep herself, leaving Niall awake by himself. He had too many worries going around his head to be able to get any rest, so he stuck to taking comfort in his liquor. However, he was startled when he heard the doorbell ring. Surprised to see his friend Laura at the door, he let her in anyway. He could use the distraction. But nothing could have prepared him for the news that she had come to deliver.

Of course Niall knew the troubles of keeping your private life out of the public eye, when you were in the film business, especially when that life was even slightly outside the norm. It was something he was constantly thinking and worrying about, even now that he was married with child. So, he understood why Laura and Franklin were planning this marriage of convenience, although he wished it did not have to be so.

He had been doing well enough, without having to face his fears about the future and his career, as well as that of his friends. It was already too much to deal with and, now that he had a family to care for, too, it was like his life was just a constant flow of stress. Until now, the alcohol had always been a way to escape it, but perhaps Laura was right. He would not be able to make it through this on his own. Eventually, he would have to speak to Emma about his worries.

[TRANSCRIPT]

Niall: "Laura?"

Laura: "Hello, darling. So, won't you let me in?"

Niall: "Oh, yes, of course."

...

Laura: "Sorry to keep you at this late hour."

Niall: "Oh, it's fine. I wasn't going to sleep any time soon."

Laura: "I see. Well, I just wanted to come by and let you know before you get the letter."

Niall: "Letter? Sounds serious."

Laura: "Not really. Well, kind of."

Laura: "You know that, in our line of work, rumours only grow. I feel it's going to catch up with me soon. It would be even worse for Franklin."

Laura: "We've decided to get married. To each other."

Niall: "Wait, what? How? He doesn't even like women. You don't like... either."

Laura: "That's exactly my point, genius."

Laura: "People talk, Niall. There's only so much you can do to avoid it from affecting our careers."

Laura: "I mean, we do love each other a lot. And we've thought about living together for a while now. Plus, I get the fabulous dress and the party, so there really is no downside!"

Niall: *groans*

Laura: "You alright?"

Niall: "My head is killing me. Maybe I should get another drink."

Laura: "You look like you've had enough already, no?"

Niall: "Please, I don't know how you can even take any of this sober. And I've got a child now, too!"

Niall: "Emma is taking it so well, and the baby loves her! I don't know why it seems so hopeless for me. I know not much expected from fathers, but I want to bond with my son, too!"

Laura: "Raising a child is a lot of work, but you're not alone in this. For starters, why don't you talk to your wife about this? Sure beats drowning your feelings in booze."

Niall: "I just feel so lost, Laura."

Laura: "I tell you, talk to your wife. But first, go get some sleep."

Niall: "Right."

Laura: "Well, goodnight, darling! I'll see you two at the wedding, then."

Niall: "Night, Laura."

[haddonfieldwhore]

ripped lace, cut glass - vessel

vessel (sleep token) x reader

warnings: gender neutral terms but reader is described as wearing a lace top, borderline nsfw/implied smut, biting, choking, mentions of alcohol, 1 f bomb, inhuman?vessel

word count: 1k

the sound of the door creaking open drew your attention from your book, and you sat up from your lounging position on the quilted sofa in vessels living room. he was supposed to be back from the studio hours ago, and as much as you tried not to, you had begun to worry, especially as the night grew darker outside.

“vessel?” you called out, clutching your champagne glass tighter as you stood up, the sparkling liquid dancing around in the glass as you moved. the bubbly liquid had been intended for a celebration of your anniversary, but by the fourth hour that vessel was running behind, you decided to pop it open yourself.

no reply came to your call, and your heart rate increased; what if someone had broken in? you surely couldn’t defend yourself with a a crystal champagne flute. you looked around for anything nearby that would make for a better weapon, but before you could find anything a noise behind you made you jump, the glass slipping from your hand and shattering on the floor.

“vessel you scared the hell out of me! why didn’t you say it was you?” you poked his chest lightly, trying to catch your breath.

“i am sorry - do not step on the glass,” he extended a hand out to you, helping you step over the shards on the floor. “come here.” he pulled you almost effortlessly into his arms, lifting you up off the floor and carrying you over to the kitchen. “please forgive me for being late. i have no excuse other than the time got away from me.” he set you down on the counter top, standing between your legs with his hands on your waist.

“you’re here now,” you smiled, knowing that once vessel began working on music there was no stopping him once inspiration struck, almost as if something was possessing him. “i started drinking without you.” you pointed to the open champagne bottle at the other end of the counter, and vessel smiled.

“i would be disappointed if you had waited for me all this time. may i make it up to you?” vessel pleaded, his hands fiddling with the intricate lace pattern of your shirt.

“i would be disappointed if you didn’t,” you teased with a smile as you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. he kissed you back firmly, sliding you closer to the edge of the counter and allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. his hands trailed up your sides until the reached your jaw, cradling your face in his hands, leaving small black finger prints behind as the paint smudged off his fingertips. vessel pulled back, his eyes growing dark at the evidence of his touch on you already, his heart beating faster as he thought of all the other ways he could mark you. his head dipped down to the junction of your neck, leaving wet kisses on the skin of your throat and shoulders before you felt his teeth dig into your flesh.

“ah- vessel,” you winced at the feeling but couldn’t help but moan as he soothed the pain with more kisses, leaving rosy bruises in his wake before he frantically kissed your lips again. “fuck, your teeth are sharp. are you sure you’re not a vampire or something?” vessel couldn’t help but laugh at your words. or something he thought.

“why? do you wish to spend eternity with me?” he asked, resting his forehead on yours as you both breathed heavily.

“you know i do,” you mumbled, an ache in your heart as you knew the one thing you wanted more than anything you couldn’t have.

“hmmm.” he purred, kissing you again, tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth. “that is my greatest wish as well. for now we will have to start with tonight.”

you pulled him back to you by the front of his shirt, and it seemed to set something off in him, like a switch had been flipped. his hands gripped desperately at any part of you he could reach, settling on the back of your shirt where it fastened. his charcoal stained fingers tore the fabric with ease, and you began to scold him for ripping it before he captured your words with his mouth, his tongue dancing with yours. you knew he would buy you as many new shirts as you wanted if you only asked, so you let it go.

instead you allowed yourself to focus on how he embraced you, his arms enveloping you against his body. his hands caressed the expanse of your back so tenderly in contrast the the way his lips assaulted yours. he slid your arms out of the sleeves of the top and discarded the ripped lace on the floor, followed by his own coat, leaving himself in just an open shirt.

vessel lifted you in his arms once again, your legs tightly around his hips as he carried you towards his bedroom. placing you softly on the bed and crawling on top of you.

“the champagne will be getting warm out there,” you said playfully. i’m reality, you couldn’t care less about the champagne.

“i can still taste it on your lips, my dear.” he kissed your lips once more before trailing kisses down your bare chest, his hands on your ribcage holding you down on the soft sheets. his lips continued to travel lower, and his hand reached up to wrap around your throat, black handprints mixing with the now purple bruises and teeth marks he had left behind earlier. vessel loved leaving marks on you, even if they were just for him to see. “i love you.”

“i love you more,” you challenged, and he squeezed your throat tighter, almost as a playful warning.

“do not make me prove it, i fear you will not be able to handle it.” he released his grip on your neck, his hands beginning to undo the button of your pants. vessel knew he had to be careful not to do too much, to not hurt you. you, just a human, something so fragile, but in his eyes so perfect.

“sounds tempting,” you smiled, eyes gleaming with anticipation as he leaned over you to kiss your lips softly.

“you have asked for it now, my love.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

[mariposa-writes]

Pressure - Joe Burrow

Joe burrow x reader

Summary: I hate writing these, so read and find out. Or if any one cares to write a short on for me thats fine.

Word count: IDK, feeling lazy today.

A/n: Thinking about turning this into a series, but idk.

"He still hasn't called?" Hannah, your best friend asked over the phone as you plopped down on the couch.

"Nope." You said popping the p. It'd been 5 days sine you broke the news to Joe. You were worried about how he'd take it and you'd run many scenarios through your head.

Hannah was silent as you both thought about the news, "What if he hates me and never wants to see me again?" You whispered, almost to scared to voice the thought that had been in your head ever since you broken the news to him.

Hannah sighed, she'd been your best friend since 2nd grade and gone through everything with you. "He's not going to hate you, he can't."

"How do you know?" You asked, your voice wobbly and tears forming in your eyes.

"I've seen the way he looks at you, it's clear to everyone that he loves you. You're his entire world." Her words did little to soothe you, but you'd take the tiniest bit of comfort you could get.

"I wish you were here." You spoke, hating that she was currently in California for a work conference.

"I'll be home in 3 days and then we can drown our sorrows in ice cream and alcoho-" She paused, "not alcohol, just ice cream."

You laughed, through the tears that were currently streaming down your face. You swore the hormones were already getting to you, despite only being 4 weeks pregnant.

"It's not like you planned for this to happen, joe has to know that. Plus you thought you couldn't have kids" Hannah was right, you'd always thought you could never have kids.

When you were 21 the doctors told you, you'd most likely never be able to have kids and since then you'd been telling yourself that you were fine without kids, but now that you were pregnant you couldn't lie to yourself anymore. "Like you just got promoted at your office and you've always told-"

Knock, Knock, Knock

You cut her off, "Hold on, someones at my door. I'll call you back." You quickly hung up, wiping the tears from your eyes before getting of the couch.

You looked through peephole, to find Joe standing outside your door. You froze, not sure if you wanted to see him. It'd been 5 days and he'd been MIA not even bothering to send you a simple message.

"Y/N, I know you're in there. Please answer the door." He begged, after knocking a few more times while you stood at the door frozen.

You placed your hand on the nob and slowly opened the door. His heart broke at seeing your tear stained face. He knew he was the reason you had probably been crying.

He entered your apartment. He'd been here a thousand times, but none ever felt like this. "I'm sorry, for not answering."

"It's fine." You lied, not wanting to admit how much he'd hurt you. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thanks. I was hoping we could talk." He sat down on your couch, while you stayed standing.

"Ok..."

"Listen, I've been thinking about this and I'm here to support you in whatever you decide." He paused, "if you want to keep the baby I'll help and if you want an abor-"

"I wanna keep the baby." You blurted out.

"Are you sure?" Joe asked, standing up to be closer to you.

"Yea," You whispered taking a step away from him.

He sighed, getting the hint. "Have you really spent time thinking about this?" He started pacing your living room.

"I've thought about it and I want to keep it." You could tell he clearly wasn't happy with your decision. You'd never told Joe that your doctors told you that your chances of ever getting pregnant were slim to none.

It'd never came up and you didn't really care to talk about it. "Listen, lets just think about this." Joe said, coming to a stop in front of you. "I'm just starting my career as a qb and you just got promoted at work. Think about how this is going to affect us. How are we going to raise a baby if you're working all the time and I'm traveling for almost half of the year."

You blinked, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. "Joe, if you don't want to be a part of this thats fine but get out of my house." You seethed angrily, as tears started to fall.

You walked over to the door, opening it for him to leave. What happened to 'I'll be here to support you'? He'd just said those words a few minutes ago and it seems he's already forgotten them.

"Babe," He said, trying to defuse the situation.

"Joe, either get on board to have this baby or get out." The tears had stopped and now the only thing you could feel was anger. Despite the anger you were feeling, you secretly hoped that he'd get on board to have the baby, but when Joe walked out of the door with his head down and shoulders deflated your heart broke.

[ghouly-boiiiii]

My Name Is Cooper

Chapter 4 Not Much One For Spirits

(Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul)

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Tags: angst, fluff, romance, humor, banter, femdom, alcohol and drug use, eventual smut

In this chapter…

 “But I can tell ya… I remember that feelin’. Just like it was yesterday.”

“...What feeling?”

“That feelin’ that ‘cher feelin’ right now…” The Ghoul didn’t lift his eyes when he spoke, just kept them on the fire with a look of scorn on his face. “That feelin’ you get when you learn a truth you wish you hadn't… and your whole world… shatters.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “That… pit in yo stomach... You feel like you’re in bad dream... Like you're outside yourself… Just watchin’.”

Lucy felt the tears welling in her eyes begin to escape and roll down her cheeks, then looked away and said barely audibly, “...Yeah.”

He took a deep breath. “...Yeah…”

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,137

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers

No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man.

The trio settled in a small, single unit near the exit. The kind that had the bedroom, kitchen and living room all in the same space. The Ghoul laid Dogmeat down on the bed, then made quick work of the junk scattered about, tossing it out the door so it wouldn’t be in their way. 

Lucy watched him a moment, then meandered up to the bed as well and pressed down on it a couple times, half expecting something to crawl out from underneath. When nothing did, she turned around and flopped down onto her back.

Dogmeat crawled up and sniffed her face happily. Lucy reached up a moment to scratch the dog's head, but was clearly distracted. As she laid there, staring at the familiar ceiling, she remembered laying in her own bed at home. About how safe and secure it used to make her feel... and how she would never be able to lay in that bed ever again.

In fact… she wondered if she’d ever truly feel safe ever again.

Lucy thought about Norm and Chet and Stephanie and all the people she left behind. She missed home so much. But she also felt a revulsion in the pit of her stomach at the thought of making herself part of that system again. 

Nothing could ever be the same now. She knew too much.

Then she thought about Max. Her knight in shining armor, and she smiled. She so regretted having to leave without him. If only he were here. Then she would feel safe. She just hoped he was okay. 

“Hey, Vaulty…. Wanna make yourself useful?”

Lucy frowned, then pushed herself up onto her elbows, silently cursing fate for having ended up with him in her company instead. “Excuse me? I just shoved my… whole arm up some… things ass for you, Sir… I think I’m pretty useful.” 

He smirked and snickered at her, then looked her up and down and nodded. “Yeah… you are.” 

She blinked, then narrowed her eyes at him as he turned away, not sure if he meant it or if he was being sarcastic. She didn’t really like the way he was looking at her either. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know how to make a fire, don’che?”

The former vault dweller blinked again. “Of course I know how to make a fire.” 

He tossed a metal bucket into the middle of the floor, along with some burnable materials.  “Well… get on it, Greenhorn.”

She stared at him a moment, then down at the pile of stuff he dropped. The Ghoul seemed a little irritable now. Although, so was she. Fighting that… centaur or whatever he called it… not fun. And her arm smelled like shit. 

Lucy crawled off the bed and got to work, piling the debris into the bucket and setting it ablaze. 

As she sat there with her arms resting on her knees, she let herself get lost in the warm glow of the flames. There was something just so memorizing about fire. Normally, you're not allowed to have fire in the vaults. But no one was going to tell them they were breaking the rules here. It was one of the few things she appreciated about being out in the wasteland. When it was safe to have a fire, anyway.

She was suddenly jolted from her thoughts when The Ghoul started coughing violently. Dogmeat, who kept licking her injured leg, rose her head and whined in concern. He glanced over at her, then grabbed a box of deviled eggs and stumbled up to the bed. “Hungry, girl?” The bounty hunter asked the dog under his breath as she licked her lips. He put the box down in front of her and gave her a pat on the back as she started to chow down. “There you go…” 

Lucy watched curiously, finding it odd to see him be so caring towards another living thing. He seemed so cold and cruel before. Like he only cared about himself. But she was starting to realize little by little that there was more to this monster of a man than she had initially believed. The way he talked so gently towards the pup, tenderly rubbed her behind the ears, and smiled at her with genuine joy seemed as out of character as Norm actually enjoying his job.

The Ghoul tromped over to the recliner next to the bed and fell back into it. “Ahhh…” Then turned to the items he had placed on the table beside him. 

He started coughing again and wheezing when he breathed, so of course the first thing he reached for was the inhaler. He fumbled to get a vial out of the box and into the dispenser before breathing it in deeply, pausing as he let the drug fill his bloodstream.

As Lucy watched him, thoughts filtered into her mind that hadn’t before, and her eyes started to well with tears.

The Ghoul grabbed a bottle of whiskey and unscrewed the top, eyeing her a moment. “...You alright?”

The former vault dweller looked up at him, a little surprised at the question, then back at the fire. “Oh… I was just… thinking about my mother.”

The bounty hunter eyed her a moment as he let out a breath, still wheezing slightly, “Uh huhh…” Then he took a drink from the bottle and clicked his tongue at the bitter burn. “Ahh… kck…” And held it towards Lucy.

She glanced at it briefly, then at him, then away. “Substances… aren’t a healthy way to deal with… stress.” 

“Ahh… suit yourself.” He said and took another drink.

Lucy blinked, then exhaled and turned towards him. “Give it to me.”

The Ghoul paused, then smirked and handed it over.

She took a drink and made a face, then her entire body shook after she swallowed before she handed it back to him. “Bleck…” 

He let out a light laugh. “Not much one for spirits, huh?” 

“That stuff is disgusting.”

He chuckled and downed another swig.

Lucy took a deep breath as she felt the warmth spread over her body, and tried to let it relax her a little bit. “...Why do you think… Muldaver… kept her alive like that? All this time?”

“Hmm…” The Ghoul considered her question. “Well, I couldn’t tell you for sure, sweetheart. What I do know is there’s usually only three reasons someone would wanna keep a feral ghoul around…” He looked over at her with a raised brow. “Either to torture it, study it, or…” He took a breath before he continued and looked back down, pulling his Winchester out of its holster. “Because they just can’t let go.”

Lucy glanced up at him, then furrowed her brow a little as her gaze drifted back down into the fire. “You think… Muldaver… loved my mother…?”

“That’s sure what I’d wanna believe if I were you, darlin’.” He said as he took a rag out of his pocket and started to wipe down the barrel.

She looked up and stared at him for a moment, then blinked slowly before her eyes fell again and she struggled to fight down the growing lump in her throat. “It… must be terrifying.” 

“...What’s that?”

“You know…” Her lip shook as she spoke. “Knowing you could… turn out like her…” 

The Ghoul looked up and just stared at her.

“...Sorry.” The young woman said softly as she shrunk a little where she sat. “I just… I can’t stop imagining what… it must have been like for her… What it… must be like… for you…” 

The old bounty hunter exhaled and laid back in his chair, looking down at the fire as well.

“But I don’t understand why… why she went feral.” Lucy said, furrowing her brow. “If she cared about her that much… you’d think someone like Muldaver would have the means to… keep a supply of those vials around… right?”

The Ghoul just sat there, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Well… ain’t no way I can know for sure what happened to yo mama…” He thoughtfully ran his tongue over his bottom lip and exhaled again as he continued to clean his gun. “But I bet you anythang she never stopped thinkin’ about you… ‘til the very end.” 

The young woman blinked, then looked up at him, surprised by his apparent capacity for empathy. He wasn’t saying much anymore, but… what he was saying... It was almost like he was trying to… comfort her.

“Did you… ever have kids?”

The old bounty hunter paused a moment, then took a deep breath and tilted his head down a bit more, so she couldn’t see his eyes past his hat. He rolled his tongue in his mouth, then said, “...You should eat somethin’.” 

She blinked, then looked away. “I’m… not very hungry.”

“I know… But you gotta keep up your strength if you wanna make it to where yo daddy at. We still got a long way to go, Vaulty.”

The former vault dweller swallowed and shook her head. “...Please stop calling me that...” Her voice was quiet and shaky.

The Ghoul paused a moment and looked at her, although she didn’t look back. “Alright…” He said, nodding slightly. “Lucy.”

Lucy blinked, then looked up at the old bounty hunter, once again surprised at his response. Not only did it seem like he was trying - keyword: trying - to be supportive, but it was almost like he was starting to respect her. 

Silence fell over the room as he finished up, then put the gun back in its holster. The Ghoul laid back in his chair and stared into the fire, breathing deeply against the rattle in his chest. “You know… I’m not…” He finally said. “Very good at the whole… emotional support thang.” He rolled his tongue in his mouth again. “But I can tell ya… I remember that feelin’. Just like it was yesterday.”

“...What feeling?”

“That feelin’ that ‘cher feelin’ right now…” The Ghoul didn’t lift his eyes when he spoke, just kept them on the fire with a look of scorn on his face. “That feelin’ you get when you learn a truth you wish you hadn't… and your whole world�� shatters.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “That… pit in yo stomach... You feel like you’re in a… bad dream. Like you're… outside yourself… Just watchin’.”

She felt the tears welling in her eyes begin to escape and roll down her cheeks, then looked away and said barely audibly, “...Yeah.”

He took a deep breath. “...Yeah…”

After a moment, Lucy looked up at The Ghoul and swallowed before looking back down. Even though it wasn’t much, she did appreciate his effort. And she needed to show it, no matter how much she didn’t care for the man. It’s what was proper. Also, positive reinforcement and all that. 

“Umm… thank you.” She said, looking up at him again. “For… for trying.”

He didn’t look up at her, just ran his tongue over his bottom lip again, as if his mind had wandered somewhere else too. “Uh huh…”

Then, as she stared at him, she picked up the distinct sound of dripping water. Her eyes moved towards it on their own, and her raging thirst finally broke through her inner turmoil like a floodgate.

The young woman stood up and quickly stepped over towards the source of the drip - the kitchen sink. She switched on her geiger counter and turned the knob. And as the water flowed and the counter barely clicked, a smile spread across her face. She quickly started drinking handfuls of water, one after another. 

Eventually, she stopped to catch her breath and informed her companion, “The water’s not irradiated…” She took one more drink, then turned the other knob, and was ecstatic to find the tap flowing with clean, warm water. “The hot water tanks are still working.” She looked over at The Ghoul with a grin. 

He just stared at her, as if he didn’t understand what the fuss was about. “That so...” 

“You know what that means, don’t you?” The young woman said excitedly as she approached him. 

“...What does that mean?” He said flatly, tilting his head up a bit. 

“It means we get a hot shower!” She flashed him an almost pained grin. 

“Alright…” The Ghoul didn’t seem to share Lucy’s excitement. “Well, you go on then… I’ll keep an eye on things…” 

Lucy balled her hands up and held them towards her chest for a moment before quickly making her way towards the bathroom.

As the old bounty hunter watched her move across the room, and his eyes lingered on the door she had disappeared into for a moment. Once he looked away, he tilted his head back against the chair, and let out a sigh.

To be continued...

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[hyunlixsbbygirl]

♡︎ Our Little Secret

When Chan is left home alone one night, he finds himself reading fanfiction about his members and getting himself into a bit of a predicament. What's worse? One of his members catches him in the act.

──❥ pairing: bangchan x leeknow

──❥ length: 3.3k

──❥ warnings: 18+, idol au, smut, needy member, dirty talk, low key admiration

──❥ note: the characters don't represent real idols; this is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only. this in no way represents nor reflects real life. this work has been cross posted to ao3 under the username thishippiekid.

© hyunlixbbygirl do not copy, translate or repost my works

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"Text me when you're on your way back. I mean it Changbin, if you forget again I will punish you somehow." The younger member pouted slightly but eventually gave in and agreed to text their leader when they were heading back home; the younger members of the group were all going to Got7's dorm for Mark's birthday. Chan had also been invited but since he was still getting over a small cold, he declined the offer playing it safe. "Yah, Jisung. Watch Felix's alcohol intake. The last thing I need is for him to wander off alone again." Jisung nodded and linked arms with his birthday twin before they all scrambled out of the door. Chan sighed heavily, while he was happy to finally have the dorm all to himself; he couldn't help but worry about his boys. "They'll be fine, they're adults. They can manage themselves without me." He attempted to calm himself with his own words but in reality, it just made him more worried. Shaking his head to rid himself of negative thoughts; Chan headed back to his bedroom thinking it might be nice to do an impromptu Channie's Room for Stay. 

Entering his bedroom Chan realized that it was far too messy to actually go live and he really didn't feel like going to the company to go live either; it was cold outside and the last thing he needed was for his cold to get worse right before comeback season. He needed a distraction though; anything would do at this point, he just didn't want to become the over worried leader and start harrassing the members in their group chat while they were having fun. Flopping down onto his bed, he placed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling; it wasn't often that he had the whole dorm to himself so he really didn't know what to do. He could play video games without worrying about being too loud when he inevitably lost, or he could work on producing some new music without having to use his headphones, or he could watch a movie while on FaceTime with his sister Hannah. 

Pulling out his phone, Chan decided to look through Twitter and see what Stays were up to; he clicked on the Stray Kids hashtag first and scrolled through all the edits that were recently posted. "Wow, these are really good. I wish I could reply to them all." he said out loud. He ended up saving a few of the edits to show the members later before clicking on his personal hashtag; his heart filling up with joy at all the sweet things Stays were saying about him. "Some day I'll get my own Twitter account and reply to you all my little Stays" clicking out of the app he hovered his thumb over his other apps wondering what to look at next; there was always TikTok but he really didn't find it all that interesting these days. As he pondered getting on Among Us or watching YouTube, he got a text from his sister and one of his best friends in Australia. 

Baby Brat: Yah stupid! Have you ever read fanfiction about your group? Brady Boy: Hannah just found one about you and Minho that you should totally check out!

Chan rolled his eyes, sighing heavily and debating on even texting them back. He knew the fans wrote fanfiction about them; occasionally he would come across a link on Twitter to one and check it out, the fans really had a talent for writing. Some of the stories they came up with were just incredible; like the one he last read where Stray Kids were a pack of wolves, whoever the writer was really knew how to write a great story. Thinking about that story made him curious; he went back onto Twitter and searched up the hashtage Stray Kids fanfic, but to his dismay, there weren't any links for new stories. He wasn't too sure on where else one could find fanfiction either, he always just clicked on the links that Twitter had but never paid attention to the website that was pulled up. 

Wolf Leader: I've read a few lol, found any good ones?  Brady Boy: Not really, just a few that I found on Twitter but I assume you've already read those.  Baby Brat: Just look on AO3 dummy *eye roll*

"AO3?" Chan asks out loud as if his sister could hear him from across the world. He opened up his phone's web browser to google and typed in 'AO3' the first link seeming like the right website but just to be sure he took a screen shot and sent it to his sister to confirm. Once she confirmed that the first link was indeed the website she was talking about; he clicked on it and registered himself. He made sure to use a pretty common user name so he could keep this a secret from fans and hopefully his members. Once he was finished, he clicked on the search button, thinking about what to actually search up; should he try just straight up Stray Kids or should he pick a specific ship? He honestly didn't know what ship he would even want to read about so he chose to just search Stray Kids. Approximately 47,000 stories popped up, each with their unique tags and story descriptions; "There's so many!" his eyes widening as he began to scroll down the first page, reading the brief descriptions of each before choosing one. 

It was titled 'Loving the Devil' and was centered around himself and Lee Know. The tags didn't contain anything concerning (though it did mention smut) so he clicked on the title and began reading. The story was set in the idol universe so it was more realistic than being set in a school setting or something. The beginning of the story was pretty mild and scarily accurate; describing how stressed the members were during comeback season and Chan of course wishing he could help his boys relieve their stress somehow. "Look at me always caring for my boys, even in fake scenarios." he smiled as he continued reading the story. 

About half way through the story, things really began to heat up; Chan got into a fight with Lee Know who ended up pushing him against a wall threatening to hit him. "Okay, Lee Know would never do that... at least not to me." his eyes becoming wide as he read further down the page realizing that instead of hitting him, Lee Know kissed him. A very detailed description of the two of them making out and stripping each other's clothes off made Chan's face heat up; partially from embarassment and partially out of lust. He unknowingly was being turned on reading a completely fake scenario that would never happen in real life about him and one of his members. He hadn't read that far into the smut scene when he had to put his phone down and take a deep breath; his heart was racing and his whole body was heated. 

When he felt himself calm down a little; he went back to reading. He knew it was probably a bad idea to continue reading something so hot and horny, especially when it involved one of his members but he couldn't force himself to click away. He licked his lips as he read about Lee Know pushing him down onto the bed, straddling his thighs and running his finger tips lightly over his abs; mental images coming into his mind as though he were watching a movie of himself and Lee Know. He felt himself growing hard in his shorts as he kept reading and imagining the things that were being described; if he was completely honest with himself, he did occasionally think about what would happen if he and another member did things like this. They were all touch deprived and in need of sexual release so it wasn't abnormal to think about doing it with the members. BamBam had once admitted that he and Yugyeom fooled around a few times and told Chan that he knew of other idol groups sleeping with each other too. 

The more he thought about sleeping with one of his members, the harder he became. His breathing coming out faster and unstable; body heating with lust and desire as he trailed his hand down his stomach to the aching bulge in his shorts. He palmed himself over the thick fabric slowly and teasingly; it wouldn't be bad to just relieve himself while imagining Lee Know going down on him right? He was completely alone after all, no one would ever know that he got himself off to a fanfic of him and Lee Know. Grunting slightly, Chan lifted his hips to slide his shorts and boxers off; discarding them on the floor next to his bed before pulling his blanket over his erection. He may be alone now but he was always cautious when it came to jacking off; always making sure he could abort the mission at the first sign of someone coming home. 

He continued to read the fanfiction as he wrapped his free hand around his cock and began pumping himself nice and slow, building up the pressure and getting fully hard before really giving himself a good stroke. Soft sighs dripped out of his mouth as the mental images danced around in his head; Lee Know on his knees with Chan's cock in his pretty mouth, the younger's tongue swirling around the angrily red tip before he took him fully into his mouth again. Chan was really getting into the story so he didn't hear the little chime of the front door unlocking or the sound of someone calling his name from the living room. The mysterious member padded down the hallway towards the elder's room, barely making a sound as he opened the door, "Hey hyung I..." 

Lee Know paused in the doorway, mouth hanging open and eyes wide in shock at what he just stumbled in on; Chan laying in bed, stroking himself underneath a blanket and in mid moan of his name. Chan threw his phone across the room, jumping at the sudden intrusion; lucky for him his phone landed on Felix's bed safely. "What are you doing here?!" the panic evident in the leader's voice as he tried to hide his erection from the younger despite already being caught. To the elder's surprise, Lee Know walked further into the bedroom; closing the door behind him and locking it "I got bored so I came back early" there was something hidden in the younger's voice that made Chan shiver. "I expected to find you filming Channie's Room, not thinking about me while getting off." Chan blushed deep, the blush spreading wide across his cheeks and up into his ears. 

"I have to admit, hearing you moan my name is pretty hot" Chan nearly whined at the younger's words; was this really happening? There was no way the exact person Chan had been imagining was now walking towards him seductively with the look of lust in his eyes. "So tell me, what inticed you to think about me?" Lee Know crawled up Chan from the bottom of the bed, never taking his eyes off the older's. "I was uh... r-reading." Lee Know smirked as he straddled the leader's thighs, his ass coming in complete contact with Chan's still hard erection. "Oh, a fanfiction I see. I didn't expect you of all the members to read through that stuff. I assumed you'd avoid it." he leaned down so that his breath ghosted against Chan's lips, it sent tingles up and down the older's spine. 

"I g-got curious... and Hannah m-mentioned it so I- I..." Chan's breath hitched and his back arched slightly off the bed, "So you looked for a story about you and I? Tell me, what were we doing in the story Channie?" He had to use every ounce of self control he had not to roll his hips upwards into the younger's ass; he was so painfully hard and needed to feel something to relieve the pressure. "We were... f-fighting and you pressed me against t-the wall. You were g-going to hit me but at the last m-minute you kissed me instead." Lee Know raised his eyebrows in intrigue, his eyes moving from Chan's eyes, down to his lips and back up again. "So the thought of me kissing you made you horny?" Lee Know brought his lips slightly closer to Chan's, letting a chuckle escape his throat when he saw the elder lift his head up in an attempt to feel thier lips against each other. 

"What else did I do to you?" the younger slipped his hands underneath the older's shirt and lightly traced his finger tips over his abs just like his character had in the story. Chan moaned and bucked his hips upwards, sucking in his breath when he finally got a little friction. "Y-you shoved me onto the bed and k-kissed your way down my stomach" the younger forced Chan to sit up so he could slid his shirt off before hungrily kissing him finally. Lee Know letting a moan of his own slip past his lips as he felt how needy his leader was for him; how the other hungrily kissed him back, licking over his bottom lip asking for permission to enter his mouth. The younger parted his lips; allowing the older to explore him, their tongues swirling around each other as their breathing became heavier and small moans and whines escaped them.

Lee Know broke the kiss to bring it down the older's jaw to his neck, biting and sucking the warm skin; Chan tilting his head to the side to give the younger more room. Lee Know was careful not to leave any visible marks but still biting and sucking hard enough to pull moans from the older. "How far did we go?" the younger brought his kisses down to Chan's collarbones as his fingertips rubbed against his nipples; the older shivered under the touch, finding it difficult to form the words he needed to say. "You... uh.. you... s-sucked me off."

The younger's mouth made its way down to Chan's left nipple, sucking the bud into his mouth until it was hard and sensitive before repeating his actions on the right; his hand wandering down to Chan's cock and palming him over the blanket. "So you imagined my mouth around your cock huh? Swirling my tongue around your sensitive tip?" Oh the younger was evil, he was being a tease on purpose and he knew exactly what he was doing. "P-please...Min" Chan begged, he was getting desperate for release. His stomach tight with the over flowing need to cum. 

Lee Know smirked as he kissed his way down Chan's abs until his mouth was hovering over his cock; moving the blanket, Chan felt the warm breath of the younger against him and shivered in need. "You're so needy hyung, look at how red your cock is. Leaking so much for me and I haven't even done anything yet" Chan whines, thrusting his hips up slightly to indicate that he was very needy indeed. Lee Know clicked his tongue before kitty licking the tip, eyes fixed on Chan's face as a wave of pleasure washed over it. "Oh g-god..." Chan moans, his eyes closed and head thrown back against the pillow as he finally gets what he was seeking. 

The younger licks all the way down Chan's shaft on one side and then up the other, smirking when the older squirms from the pleasure; "Do you want to fuck my mouth Channie? You want to watch me take your cock down my throat?" his voice becoming more seductive than before as he batted his eyelashes prettily. "T-that won't hurt you?" Lee Know shakes his head, "It wouldn't be the first time I had something in my mouth, though this is the first time sucking someone off." Chan didn't question this for long as he sat up, the younger slipping off the bed to his knees as Chan sat on the edge. 

Lee Know opened his mouth diligently as Chan slid his cock into his mouth; he was hesitant, he didn't want to hurt the younger especially since he was a singer and needed his throat to be okay. Lee Know sucked Chan deeper into his mouth, hallowing out his cheeks and closing his eyes as he moaned around him; the vibrations adding to the sensation causing Chan to moan louder than he did before. Slowly he built confidence and started thrusting his hips into the younger's mouth. Lee Know gladly sucked Chan all the way into his mouth, the tip of his cock hitting the back of his throat with every thrust. 

"F-fuck.. Min..." Chan was impressed that the younger was capable of something like this; he didn't even gag or choke when the back of his throat was abused over and over again. The younger simply moaned around him; his hands holding Chan's thighs for balance and stability as the older fucked his mouth at a medium pace. "I'm...c-close" Chan warned, the sensation proving to be too much for him last much longer. Lee Know sucked him harder, bobbing his head along with Chan's pace as he brought him closer to his release. 

Chan's stomach tightened and he felt tingles course through his body as his orgasm washed over him; squirming and shaking through his release as the younger swallowed his seed the best he could. Not having cum for months, there was a lot for him to swallow and he somehow managed to get every last drop. When Chan finally collapsed on the bed, Lee Know licked him clean before standing up admiring Chan's blissed out face and pants. "Better than imagining it huh hyung?" 

Chan nodded, not trusting his speaking abilities at the moment. Lee Know chuckled as he wiped his mouth with the collar of his shirt; he moved to sit on Felix's bed across from the older; a smile plastered on his face from helping his leader feel this amazing. "Want me to suck you off?" Chan suddenly asked, turning his head to look at the younger; his eyes still showing a hint of lust and need in them. "I... uh... well." Lee Know looked down at himself, Chan's eyes following noticing the slight discoloration of his jeans. "You came without being touched?" this time it was Lee Know that blushed.

"I couldn't help it, plus I haven't... you know for nearly a year." Chan reached out for Lee Know's hand, pulling him towards him. "You can always come to me when you need release. You helped me so it's only fair that I return the favor." he leaned into the younger, pressing their lips against each other. Both sighing out in pleasure and deepening the kiss before hearing the chime of the front door being unlocked; they pulled away unwillingly, Lee Know grabbing Chan's clothes and tossing them to him as he laid on Felix's bed acting like they were just talking the whole time. 

"Hey you two, have fun while we were gone?" Felix's voice echoed through the hall as his footsteps were heard; the door to the bedroom opening a few seconds later. "We were just talking about comeback season. If you wanna call that fun." Lee Know said in his typical tone of voice. The younger just nodded not noticing that despite being sucked off just moments ago, Chan was already hard again and that Lee Know was squeezing his legs together. "Well I'm going to sleep in Hyunjin's room tonight so I'll see you two in the morning." Felix said happily skipping off to the other's room. 

Lee Know looked at Chan and smirked, "Round two?" 

[dreamingofyeo]

𓏲๋࣭ ࣪ A siren's song࿐࿔𖦹ִ

Chapter 5: elixir of docility ࿐࿔𖦹ִ

~ Details in masterlist

~ Playlist (will be keyed and ordered)

~ 1,521 words

~ Chapter warnings: manhandling, forced ingestion, alcohol, gunshots

~☆彡 tumblr's algorithm works off of reblogs so please consider it if you like my work :)

A/N: I’m so sorry for the inconsistent updates I really have no schedule for them with uni :’) I will be finishing this fic though don’t worry :)

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Tortuga.

What a truly audacious place.

When the anchor of the crimson hits the sea bed at long last, you feel it in your bones. The pull against the ship igniting a new flame of hope within you, you’d been living off of one flame thus far. Now there were two.

You look over at Yeosang, his eyes reflecting your own well concealed hope. The plan is simple, slip away from the crew when they’re drunk in one of the many taverns the island has to offer, call upon this mysterious favour Yeosang alluded to, and escape. If they choose to leave you behind? Well, there’ll certainly be less crew members to get past.

The navigator looks back to the map on the table between you, his thumb swiping across a crease rhythmically as if it would somehow flatten out the results of lack of care. You can’t help but remember the time those hands were so gentle with your own.

The cabin door swings open unceremoniously as vervona stalks in, Broner on his heels like a loyal dog. He observes you both for a moment before jumping into his speech.

“Well then, as you’ve no doubt noticed, we’ve made port. I can’t very well leave you here with m’ship and no crew now can I? So you’ll be coming with us. But then I can’t very well either have you wonderin’ off, now can I?”

His borderline incomprehensible speech irritates you. But that feeling turns to dread when he reveals a vile of shimmering red liquid. Vervona continues, a fresh tinge of malice in his tone.

“We can’t be turning any more heads than the usual with what’s at stake, so I can’t be shackling you. Not physically anyway no, no this little beauty will bind your minds.”

A potion?

With that Broner walks over to you and secures a rough hand under your jaw, forcing your mouth open. You don’t fight it, the second flame was fleeting. You could swear you saw Yeosang’s hand leave the map and reach for you.

The drop of liquid hitting the back of your throat burns like no alcohol you’ve ever tasted, it is pure fire. You feel it absorb into every vein and can almost picture the invisible shackles, your mind becomes a prison. It is empty, craving for instruction, terrified of free will.

Yeosang steps away when Broner walks to him, as if contemplating doing something possibly very ill conceived.

“Kang?” Vervona speaks softly now, it’s somehow more frightening.

He decides against whatever crossed his mind, you sigh in relief. Broner grips him the same as he did you, sparing no amount of force in the process. You watch as his eyes glass over and become distant, his posture losing its strength as he ingests the potion.

With that, the pair slam the cabin door behind them with gruff laughter, leaving you and Yeosang in the most docile state imaginable.

“What was that?” You’re surprised you can even ask.

“A docility elixir, it makes us follow his every command whether we wish to or not. In other words, there will be no escaping today.”

Disappointment and sadness wash over you like a tidal wave. A thought crosses your mind, it’s bold but you dare to voice it anyway.

“Is it purely instructional? Surely we can act around that?”

Yeosang smiles and laughs dryly.

“It’s instructional yes, but acting on anything which opposes that- direct or not, is still very difficult. And he will feel the tug on his mind if we try to.”

“I see…” you slump against your chair slightly.

No further time is given for you both to mull over your predicament though. For the door opens again, and when told to come outside, you do so without question or thought.

The ship is silent. You’re in front of the captain, he speaks to you both clearly and concisely.

“Neither of you will run. You will stay by my side from the moment we leave this ship to the moment you return to it. You will not attempt any form of escape or mutiny against me. Is that understood.”

A blue bird lands on the rail of the ship, it chirps once. Yeosang twitches.

You answer in unison.

“Aye captain.”

He turns, you both follow. The blue bird flies into the sky.

~

The island is a very unusual place to be sure. It’s nothing like you’ve ever seen. Everyone looks to be having a joyous time. There are people of all backgrounds stumbling about drunk to the clouds, women with more cleavage than cover atop barrels and balconies, gunshots and fiddle music. A truly audacious cacophony of sights and sounds indeed.

By the time the last batch of supplies is collected, the sun is setting and casting an orange glow upon your surroundings. It’s shimmering off of swords and the glass in various stalls, sending beams of light all around you. However, you can hardly focus on the beauty of such a thing considering the fact that your feet are aching beyond comprehension. You need nothing more than to sit down and drink some water, but you physically cannot stop walking. It’s torture.

Yeosang’s features are set in a grim line of concentration, you wonder what he is thinking about. After so long of being captive, the opportunity to escape ripped from him, is it your fault? If you weren’t here would they trust him enough to not bind his will like this?

There’s a chirp to your left, right beside Yeosang. There is another blue bird, no- the same one, you’re sure of it. The navigator doesn’t flinch this time, in fact you’re sure he’s suppressing a faint smirk.

His expression returns to that which it had been as Vervona turns and makes a loud announcement to the crew. A sly grin on his maddened expression.

“Now then, I think it’s time for a drink don’t you?”

The crew erupts into hoots and cheers. With dread gnawing at your stomach, you all make your way to the tavern.

The tavern is just as you expected to be frank, dimly lit with lanterns, reeking with the stench of pirates- for which bathing is apparently foreign. Quite small as well, tucked away in a back alley away from prying eyes. Much like the table you’re led to, right in the corner save for a well embroidered rug behind it.

You’re sat down rather forcefully by Broner. He is to your left, Yeosang to your right, with Vervona at his side. A pint of beer lands in front of each chair not long after, compliments of your captain. You restrain yourself from downing it in all of 30 seconds due to your thirst.

By an hour in, the crew and vervona are all very, very drunk; you and Yeosang have been strategically pacing yourselves and hiding out of rounds where you can. You’re both tipsy at best.

There’s a man by the bar who keeps staring at your table. You’ve noticed, you wonder if Yeosang or Vervona have too. He is very unique, fitting right into his setting. Delicate tattoos adorning his skin, a silver streak in his dark hair, with a calculating look across his features. He’s nursing a cocktail when he locks eyes with you, before turning away and beckoning the bartender over.

You’ve long tuned out of the incoherent babbling and boasting of the crew. Each attempting to one-up the other on their various conquests and tales of gore-filled glory. However the ramblings of one in particular catch your ear.

“We need to finish off Kang’s crew, the bastard needs to be taught a lesson for abandoning our captain.”

You wonder what it means. Yeosang tenses beside you, faintly, but all the same telling.

A new round of drinks arrives, not beer this time but some sort of cocktail. Vervona questions it with the bartender, only to be told it’s ‘on the house’.

There are dainty leaves adorning the tops of the drinks, the liquid a shimmering blue. It’s unlike any drink you’ve ever seen. Except it is.. it’s strikingly similar if not the same as the one the man at the bar had.

You look at Yeosang and are startled to find him staring at you, a command hidden in his now hope filled eyes. You down this one instantly.

Moments later you feel the shackles melt away, the relief you feel as you breathe free will back into your lungs in unparalleled. That feeling is short lived and replaced by fear as five strategically placed gun shots sound, and the lanterns of the tavern go out.

And whilst everyone immediately stands up and bares their arms, the sound of hinges sounds behind you followed by a soft thump. Suddenly there are arms tucking under your own. Your mouth is covered instantly and you fight off a scream into the familiar hand as you lock eyes with Yeosang in the darkness for a moment before you’re both practically ripped from your seats. The pieces begin to come together as you and the navigator are pulled down a trap door.

<-Chapter 4 ~ chapter 6->

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