#i wish i could have ended this different

[mushroom-kin]

Morning on the path to Liyue Harbor - A study with original additions

[secondbeatsongs]

going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.

genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.

you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.

I'm really normal about this, actually

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Terzo's hands are always cold. I...I put angst in it. Sorry ?

"Your hands are cold, Cardinal," Omega remarks as he helps the man down from a ladder in the Ministry's library. Terzo, gloveless for once, a heavy tome tucked under his arm, glances up at Omega in surprise, then down at where his hand rests in the ghoul's much larger one.

"Ah, yes, poor circulation and all that. I apologize if it bothers you ; I forgot my gloves in my room."

Terzo makes a move to retreat his hand, but Omega holds fast to it. Bother him ? How could the man's touch ever bother him ?

"Not at all, Cardinal. It was merely unexpected."

Terzo's lips quirk up in his trademark insolent grin.

"I am full of surprises. And I told you, it's Terzo."

"Terzo," Omega corrects himself with a hint of smile in his voice.

Though the man cannot see his face behind the mask and hood, he seems to catch Omega's amusement, mismatched eyes glistening with glee at being responsible for the ghoul's pleasant mood.

His hand squeezes Omega's, coolness seeping under the ghoul's skin like a brand.

"I am going to melt my way back into the Pit," Alpha complains, collar obscenely wide open, almost down to his belt, mask long since discarted. Practice is running late, and the suffocating weather is getting to everyone.

Omega can feel his uniform stick uncomfortably to him, even with a few buttons left open - far less than Alpha still. The quint's mask, though, remains on.

"You sure you don't wanna lose the head cooker, 'Megs ? If you get brain-fried, no one's strong enough to carry you back to your room, princess."

Omega huffs and half-heartedly growls at the mouthy fire ghoul.

"I'm fine. And you've carried me before, asshat."

With a snort, Alpha petulantly crosses his arms.

"Yeah, no, not lifting anything in that weather."

Their banter is interrupted by a mildly entertained Papa.

"Enough, enough you two. You do look a bit hot, dear Omega. Are you positive you are feeling alright ?"

There is concern under Terzo's amusement as he steps closer, brow furrowed under the papal paint. He looks majestic, embracing his still relatively new role like this, easily slipping into the authority of his title.

"I promise I am fine, Papa, it is simply a bit warm."

With a sceptical hum, Terzo reaches out to press a bare hand on the side of the quint's clamy neck, gloves forgone in such a weather.

Omega ever so slightly sags into the touch, hoping that his fellow ghouls won't pick up on it. It isn't only the blissful coolness of the man's palm that warrant such a reaction from Omega, but the ghoul is not ready to look too much into it.

"I've been told my hands are cold," Terzo smirks, sparkling eyes crinkling in the corners. "Is it helping ?"

Omega's voice catches in his throat.

"Yes, Papa."

It certainly does send a pleasant shiver down his spine.

"Good. And it's Terzo, for Lucifer's sake," the man huffs, ignoring Delta's grumble about also being cold to the touch.

When Terzo pulls away, knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips, Omega mourns the contact, eyes straying to the man's hands longingly.

Terzo tastes divine, and Omega is nothing if not a creature of indulgence, licking into the man's mouth like a beast starved for more of this addictive flavor that is so intimately Terzo.

Omega wants to devour him whole.

He paws at the man, blindly gropping his hips, his waist, his shoulders, growling when Terzo is forced to pull away to take a shuddering breath in.

"I've been...wanting to do this...for so long," he pants, paint smudged around his mouth. Omega groans, enamored with the pink the confession brings to Terzo's ears.

If he's being honest, Omega saw it coming. Ever since he started losing the mask in front of him, Terzo had seemed incapable of not staring at the ghoul, eyes lingering on his lips any chance he got.

"Me too," the quint sighs, promptly molding their mouths together again. His tail wags helplessy when Terzo's hands start to roam, deftly unbuttoning his uniform after a pause to ensure Omega would let him. The ghoul burries his nose in Terzo's neck, inhaling his scent, grazing his teeth against the delicate skin.

Terzo pushes the uniform off his shoulders, eager. Omega yelps, back hitting the closed bedroom door.

"Shit, fuck, sorry, are you okay ?" Terzo mumbles, eyes searching, hands stilling where they're splayed over his chest.

"Yes, fine. Hands. Cold. Surprised me," Omega chuckles, pressing a soft kiss under Terzo's ear. The man hums.

"Do you want me to stop ?" he teases, still tortuously unmoving. Omega grunts, letting his lips peal back in a playful snarl, thick fangs scraping more insistantly against Terzo's neck.

"If you stop, I might bite, Terzo Emeritus," he warns. Unbothered, the man tangles his hand in Omega's hair.

"Oof, the governement name. Please do, my dear Omega, I fear that sounded more arousing than you planed it to."

Groaning, Omega presses his forehead to Terzo's.

"You're impossible."

A sparkling, hungry grin as hands start to explore once again.

"That I am."

It's late, and there isn't enough light in Terzo's bedroom to see much more than vague shapes, yet he still traces Omega's scars and tattoos with perfect accuracy, raising goosebumps on his skin.

"Ah, I forget," Terzo whispers in the dark, head resting on Omega's chest, "cold hands. You're shivering, my love."

The quint grabs Terzo's wrist before he can withdraw his hand.

"I don't mind, Terzo, you know it."

With a content sound, Terzo keeps going, fingers skimming over the burn on his side, the latin sentence on his hip, the stretch marks on his belly, touch light and reverent. Omega exhales a pleased sigh, tugging Terzo closer until he can kiss him slow and soft, gasping when another cool palm comes to hold his face with a tenderness that could make his ghoulish heart burst.

"How did I get so lucky ?" the quint whispers in what very little space he finds between the both of them. "You are a dream come true, love."

Terzo huffs, white eye stark against the general darkness.

"I'd argue I'm the lucky one, my dear Omega."

Those careful fingers glide over his features, leaving cold trails of worship, and Omega closes his eyes.

"Not like this. Not like this, please," Omega whispers, voice hoarse, clutching Terzo's hand. Even through the leather of the glove covering it, it's so cold.

With a sob, Omega bows his head, forehead thumping against marble.

"Please, Terzo, don't do this to me, please."

But there is no answer, and the hand in his is cold in a way that means something far too catastrophic for Omega's brain to wrap around it.

See, this is nowhere near the usual chill of Terzo's perpetually cool fingers, the gentle coldness of his palm teasing aginst Omega's skin. No, this is a frigidity that speaks of absence.

Absence of life.

On his knees before his lover's body, Omega finally understands that he never knew real cold before this moment.

[nightskyli]

What bums me out is Dev's story isn't set to end on a downer note for him. This isn't meant to be the last episode. But it very well might be if the show doesn't get renewed. That is what leaves me with a sour feeling when it comes to the finale.

Not the fact this happened in particular but more the idea the ending for Dev's character may really be right where he started.

[bonefall]

Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("

Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(

And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.

And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.

What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.

And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.

But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

You know I don't think Timmy actually ended up sharing Wanda and Cosmo for all that long with Chloe in the grand scheme of things.

I mean there's various points in the show that seem to imply that having Fairy GodParents is a temporary thing. Like extremely temporary for most kids.

As in even being 10, and having gotten Cosmo and Wanda at age 8, Timmy's considered as having been a GodChild for a long time. Even if that's only a couple years.

Like there's a reason why there's multiple episodes about all of Fairy World being interested in whatever Timmy's up to.

Timmy's an outlier case.

He's going to end up aging out of the system (bar any breaking of any major rule that the fairies can't find a way to forgive) and everyone knows it.

They made a whole live action trilogy of bending the rules just for him where he gets to keep his fairies as an adult, and then turns into a fairy at the end of that trilogy.

He's a, probably wouldn't have made it to adulthood without fairies, kind of a case.

That's not the case for most kids who get fairies, or at least it's heavily implied that's not the case for most kids who get fairies.

Take Cosmo and Wanda being Crocker's fairies in 1972, and having already been his fairies for about 2 years by that point, but having had been Billy Gate's fairies in 1970.

We're never even given a hint that Billy lost his fairies traumatically, because he grew up to invent the internet just fine, and we never hear about him beyond that. And it seems like if a kid traumatically loses their fairies before their ready, it ends with them being a screwed up adult.

Which tells me that whatever situation Billy was in to need fairies resolved itself shortly after the time travel thing.

Heck even then, it was heavily implied that Crocker's life, even qualifying for fairies, was better than Timmy's was. Considering the only things mentioned is that he's got a single mom that works multiple jobs, and when she doesn't she tends to focus on her hobbies, and an evil babysitter to deal with.

He's not bullied at that point, he's not struggling academically, the only things wrong with his life (before getting over dosed on magic mindwipe and being disfigured and losing his mind as a result, which turned him into a social outcast) is that he's got a single mom who works a lot and leaves him with a mean babysitter so she can have me time.

That's it, that's what makes him qualify.

And he would have aged out of at least one of those problems before turning 18. He would have been 14 when he would have naturally outgrown needing to have a babysitter (as that's how old Vicky starts babysitting Timmy).

Then by that point he would have also been old enough to get a part time job of his own. Lightening the financial lode on his mother, and possibly freeing up some of her working time to actually spend with her.

Meaning it's possible that both of his fairy qualifying problems would have resolved themselves by age 14 or 15.

But also the kind of miserable it takes to get godparents (at least when that baseline is first established) is temporary for most kids.

I wouldn't be surprised if the typical Fairy GodParent & GodChild relationship typically only lasted like a year or two for most kids.

[And it seems like the majority of kids we meet who have GodParents, get them at age 10.

I'm pretty sure Timmy being 8 and getting his Fairies, is the youngest kid we ever see having Fairies.

Other than de-aged Vicky that one episode, but because it happened in the constraints of one of Timmy's wishes, I'm not going to count it. Especially because when Cosmo and Wanda are reassigned to Vicky, no one comes to erase Timmy's memory of having fairies, so she doesn't have to worry at all about hiding them which all other godkids do.

Also Vicky is just given Cosmo and Wanda and not her own fairy, which I feel heavily implies that all of this is falling under wish logic, and not normal logic.

Crocker is the second youngest, because he had Cosmo and Wanda at 9.]

Especially in cases where the root of the kid's misery is something they have the power to personally confront and change.

Like if a kid gets a fairy because they're being bulled at school to the point it's ruining everything else in their life. [Bully is making it to where they can't complete school or home work, causing grades to drop, meaning no extracurricular stuff, and getting in trouble with parents.]

But that kid manages to reveal what's happening, and gets things to change, and their life goes back to how it was before. Then that kid obviously doesn't need a GodParent anymore to make up for their miserable life.

I could easily see plenty of situations where a kid might only have a GodParent for less than a year.

Like Hazel's situation from A New Wish weirds me out, because all her problems are super temporary problems that resolve in like a few months to a year for most kids who have those problems.

It's missing her older brother who left for collage. Which most kids eventually get over after just getting used to them no longer living in the same house as them.

When the younger sibling gets used to the older siblings absence, a pretty good chunk of them revel in the bizarre experience of being either the new oldest, or an only child for the rest of their own childhood.

It's moving to a new city and having to make all new friends. Which Hazel does over the course of season 1. She's got 3 friends if Dev counts.

Everything causing her to need fairies is all extremely temporary. Which is a large part of the reason why I don't think she'll be one of the kids to age out of the system the way Timmy was.

She's got parents who love her, she's not struggling at school, she doesn't have an abusive babysitter, she's already started making friends at her new school, her brother came home from collage, but even then that's something she'd just grow out of eventually.

So I feel like unless something in her life changes for the worst, she's going to only have Cosmo and Wanda for a few years at most. And lose them around age 14-15.

Sure her problems are a lot more relatable than Timmy's ever were.

Which is understandable considering Timmy was a kid who had literally everything going wrong in his life, except he wasn't living in poverty.

From neglectful parents, being bullied as school, an abusive babysitter, being specifically targeted by a teacher for harassment, being the target of a girl's stalker crush on him, being canonically considered an idiot even without Crocker targeting him (even though I'm pretty sure he just has ADHD). And that's just the major stuff he starts off with.

That's not even getting into like the magical enemies he makes over the course of the show. Who are out to get him from then on.

And the fact that his parents weren't actively malicious towards him, just forgetful and oblivious.

But Hazel's problems are also all a lot more temporary than Timmy's ever were.

And that's like, the big thing that makes them different and give me the feeling that, while Timmy definitely aged out and had fairies until the last possible moment, kids like Chloe and Hazel probably only had fairies for a few years at most.

That's most likely why Wanda and Cosmo still refer to Timmy as their last godchild before retiring. Even though they were assigned Chloe years after they were assigned to Timmy.

Chloe's issues probably resolved at some point and Timmy returned to being a singular GodChild from that point on.

[I'm guessing she grew a backbone at some point, lets her parents know all the pressure they put on her was making her miserable, and stopped being a complete doormat for literally everyone. Because those were her big problems that caused her to qualify for Fairies.]

Which was probably extremely awkward for Timmy in the aftermath of Chloe having her memories purged of fairies, considering they only spent time together because they were made to share fairies.

Sure Timmy had seen kids lose their fairies before, like with Remy, but he'd never cared then because he hardly spent any time with Remy, and no one would call him and Remy friends.

But it had to be weird when it inevitably happened with Chloe, because by the end there, she basically lived in the Turner house.

Heck of the two kids who get fairies in A New Wish, I'd say that Dev is the kid more likely to be an age out case than Hazel. If he ever regains godparents.

Considering having a single parent, who literally loves business and money more than he'll ever love his own kid, is a bit more of a permanent misery than "I moved to a new town and have no friends, and my brother went off to collage" is.

Just to be honest.

Like maybe it's different rules because Hazel is a post-retirement passion project for Cosmo and Wanda, and they can stay with her until she'd age out because they're not on official rotation or whatever.

But no one will be able to convince me that she'd actually need fairies the entire rest of her childhood unless something horrible happens to her in season 2.

Like baby girl those are some temporary issues that tend to resolve themselves within a year, how are you going to keep qualifying for fairy godparentship the rest of this series?

[not-a-heretic]

never a frown with golden brown

(quick nigel study to recover from whatever tf that water drawing was.)

pose reference

[j-esbian]

maybe the real voltron was the friends we made along the way

[wishchip106]

kinda want to rewatch apocalypse just to criticize it again

see if there’s anything else i can pull apart

or maybe dofp

idk i need to just pick one and watch it

but it’s too late for that i have a good sleep schedule to keep in tact i cant ruin it now

just gonna need to pick something from my brain

i mean when Charles get baldified i physically cringe idk what it is about it

maybe its the fact he just lost his beautiful princess locks 💔

and when apocalypse takes over cerebro and Charles eyes go black. there’s something about it that just doesn’t fit and i have no idea what it is

also how was it a bad thing apocalypse sent all the nukes to space (apart from actually littering and causing some other problems due to that)

i don’t think we should let old people have access to bombs let me have them or something

the old men are sad because they lost their lethal toys ☹️

something i don’t understand is why stryker took Moira

like i get why he took the others but Moira???

tf did she do??

conspiring with mutants?? huh????

honestly the movie would’ve been just the slight bit better if Moira wasn’t there

SHE DID NOTHING

LIKE ACTUALLY NOTHING BUT STAND AROUND IM SO PISSED

DO SOMETHING????

all she did was flash around her title that she works at the CIA

you can’t convince me Charles is straight i know he’s sucked dick AND taken it up the ass 🤨🤨🤨

moving to a new topic BUT WE COULD OF HAD MISTER SINISTER

like there was more reference to him in new mutants BUT STILL

SHOW ME ESSEX CORP WHAT DID THEY DO WITH LOGANS BLOOD???

did transigen steal from them or something? maybe that’s one of the ways they could of made Laura who knows

idk what else i could talk about that i haven’t already said

[homestuckreplay]

Knighthoods of the Mail

(pages 919-925)

I really like both these panels, the extreme downward angle on Jade who has the disadvantage of being small and the advantage of being alive and angry, and the close up on Grandpa, both of them lit by the strange pink-orange firelight. Fire and burning is a threat we’ve seen for all four kids now, so it creates that parallel, and also a surreal atmosphere from the composition of both images.

Jade is also speaking in the narration on this page – it’s italicized and first person instead of second, written in her register. None of the other kids have done this yet, the narrator is always between them and us. I like the implication that Jade is overriding the narrator but also the idea that the narrator is like ‘you know what, I’m taking this page off, I’m just gonna let her shout’. It’s fun, and I’m interested to see if it’ll happen more.

I am still pretty fucked up over this reveal but personally I would have done it a little differently – the gut punch of ‘He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive’ (p.920) could have been SO much more effective if it hadn’t already been obvious from their Strife that this is not a living man. Even keeping the original sequence but publishing the pages at the same time would have worked, but sitting for a day between the Strife sequence and that line meant it didn’t hit as hard for me.

I do still have a lot of questions. Jade knows Grandpa is dead but seems to still genuinely believe they’re communicating, and who’s to say they’re not? Who’s to say Jade’s powers don’t tell her exactly what Grandpa is saying or would say in this circumstance? If so, it must be a lot harder psychologically to escape his expectations. But even if Jade’s powers don’t come into it, there’s practical concerns – how long ago did Grandpa die, and does anyone besides Jade even know? It’s easy to say Jade should redecorate the house but living so remotely where mail has to be airdropped in balloons, she’s probably not physically capable of that, and can’t get other people to do it for her. Typheus is a little big to captchalogue and where else would Jade even put him?

So I guess I kind of get it? In the sense of Jade keeping the only life and routine she’s ever known, going through the same motions with a stuffed grandpa that she once did with a real one, because the barriers to doing anything different are so high? It’s really easy to adapt to a strange situation when you don’t have a point of comparison to know it’s strange, and when it happens so regularly that it becomes like autopilot.

We cut back to PM, my absolute beloved, one of my most favorite characters. They haven’t been seriously hurt by Jade’s explosive powers but their head wrappings are on fire (btw is the pointy tail of their head covering the shape of the fabric or the shape of their head??) and some of the mailboxes are tragic casualties of the event, which I may never forgive Jade for.

And then one of the metal worms rescues a mailbox! The all important mailbox with the letter to Dr David Brinner in it! Redemption arc for the metal worms who have definitely learned from their predecessors’ mistakes. This is a beautiful, angelic worm deserving of high honors, and PM knows it, giving them an equally metallic heart. If the postal service had an equivalent for a knighthood for a postal worker who goes above and beyond to preserve the integrity of the mail then PM would award that to this worm. I am thinking about PM as a dispenser of justice – someone with a really strong, inflexible moral code who is willing to impartially punish those who break it and reward those who keep it.

> PM: Bequeath the mailman’s cap to this hero.

[kyouka-supremacy]

So no sskk?

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[unordinaries]

presented without comment

(chapters 280 + 344)

[maeryuu]

As someone with issues recognizing my self, listening to the whole SELF-iSH album it's a religious experience.