#and then having to reconciliate that your actions and your /self/ are still you but different

[maeryuu]

As someone with issues recognizing my self, listening to the whole SELF-iSH album it's a religious experience.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🌁Pick a Picture:✨️❄️What wishes will come true for you?❄️✨️

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

✨️Hello! I wanted to say thank you for being a part of my year and for supporting me so much, i am so thankful to everyone that took a little bit of their time to look into my page! I hope you guys have a Happy Holidays and i hope we can still be together next year <3✨️

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

🎀Masterlist🎀

⛄Pile 1: The Hanged Man, 5 of Pentacles and Ace of Cups.

Hi pile 1! You are my creative people, and this is a sign that wishes related to creativity, personal growth and the beginning of new projects are on their way to being fulfilled.

There is a vibration of creative abundance and personal power, I feel like you will be stepping into your power, you will be manifesting into reality a creative project that you have been working on for a while.

The next few months will be full of opportunities to expand your mind and your creative nature. If you were waiting for that moment to launch a new idea or project, get ready to see how the universe opens doors for you. This is a period of fertility and manifestation: everything you sow with your effort will manifest successfully. Do not hold back because of doubts, because your power of creation is at its peak.

Wishes that have to do with artistic projects, entrepreneurship or simply personal development will be aligned. Remember that abundance flows to you when you nurture your passions and follow your instincts. It's time to take action and trust your vision.

❄️Song:

⛄Pile 2: The Moon, 4 of Cups and Page of Wands.

Hi pile 2!, there is a strong energy related to love and emotional healing. This pile brings with it the fulfillment of desires linked to emotional healing and deep relationships.

If you have been looking for a deeper type of connection, whether in the romantic realm or in your friendships, this is a time of revelations and healing. You will have more hope, restoration and an energetic flow full of inner peace. Those desires related to the perfect relationship, reconciliation or the feeling of belonging will soon manifest. It is a time to trust that the universe will guide you to what is right for you.

This pile also speaks of the importance of listening to your intuition. If there is something you need to let go or heal, the energy of the Moon is really prominent in this pile, so it suggests that the desire for emotional release will come true. You have the ability to release internal blockages that have prevented you from living love in its purest form. Self-love will also be key in this process. I feel like a significant connection, especially a soulmate one is coming into your way pile 2!

❄️Song:

⛄Pile 3: Death, 8 of Wands and 6 of Wands.

Hi pile 3! this pile indicates that you are in a stage of changes, where desires related to destiny and personal transformation are about to become true. You are going to experience powerful changes that represent life turns and success.

Desires that relate to important life changes and recognitions of success are aligned for you. If you have been waiting for a turn in your destiny, this is the time. Your guides tell you that the cycle is changing, and that what seemed uncertain will now become a golden opportunity.

It is a time of rebirth and evolution, you probably are in a transformative journey right now and its gonna pay off pile 3!

I also feel that wishes for prosperity, joy and success will soon come true aswell. It is time to shine and take advantage of the opportunities that the universe brings you. All that effort, those seeds planted with sacrifice, are now ready to grow and bear fruit, you are doing an amazing job, so trust yourself and soon you will live your dream reality step by step!

❄️Song:

✧˚.⋆Thanks for reading and let me know if it resonated!✧˚.⋆

Dividers by: @dollywons

[tarotwithdanise]

THE BLESSING THAT IS COMING ON YOUR WAY IN THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

reader's note: you can choose more than a pile.

PILE ONE

what a very incredibly energy coming up for this pile! i think a lot of rough things have been through with you in the past weeks or months however as i sense here, you may receive an unexpected friendship with someone or a group of people that may continues to grow further until lifetime. i am not quite sure enough if this connection is about literal "love" or it's just a pure friendship however it's gonna bring so much joy and confident about you as this person or people make you feel belong, counted and loved. this is a type of new beginning relationships for some of you however it seems like there's something off about your energy here, it seems like you cannot accept this friendship instantly because you may have this trust issues because maybe there's something terrible happened from your past but i know you'll get throughout this. you may cut off relationship with someone who hold a female energy and you may considered this individual toxic or you may receive an apology from this person. the number 9 and 4 (94) is significant for this pile.

PILE TWO

what a gentle surprise for this pile people. i sense that you maybe worrying too much about your finances but i'mma here to say that you gonna find incredibly balance about your finances in the next days. i sense that you may struggle a lot about your money however you may find yourself in the position in a month or next days in a better place, well, it may not be that better as be soft and a fresh of breath an air just like a millionaire but it's enough to cover all of your basic needs. besides, you may already decided to break off your wants to start saving up more money. my spirit guides advice you to do moves and make sure to welcome abundance in your life.

PILE THREE

this may seem like it has a little aura energy of the first pile, so, if you find it attractive, you already know what to do. i sense two things here, (1) is reunion and the (2) other one is you reap what you sow. let me explain the first energy. so, this first energy coming from this pile is about reconciliation with someone, this person is somewhat from your past that lose connection with. well, it can be an ex partner or an old friend. perhaps, i don't detect any harmful energy from this reunion but a delightful moment of joy. the second energy is about collecting and reaping what you have worked hard for in the present, this seems like a feeling of self-fulfillment of accomplishing a certain milestone that you may struggle to achieve of. what blessing you may achieve in the next days, you may find it a solution to your problem. as well that you might start to express yourself through art more in the next few days.

PILE FOUR

recognition. is there any chance that you may be trying to be a star or an influencer on social media? or maybe this was all a dream and perhaps maybe a sense of me seeing that energy haha however if it's a "yes" then you will be giving an opportunity to be appreciated by some people. you may be attracting a lot of people especially suitors but be careful because not all of them have good intentions towards you. i also see here that you may receive something special or offer from someone that will bring a smile to your face.

PILE FIVE

a huge spiritual glow is what i'm getting for this pile. there's an action here that you may be a group of spiritual groups recruiting you or if not, there's a big influence into your spiritual gift that may heal or if not, then it can help people in some way by guiding and giving advice to them. you gonna feel that power in the next upcoming days and weeks, you gonna feel that the energy feels like shifting. just a reminder to take care of your body especially your because it may hurt a lot this days or for the upcoming ones. you gonna receive a strong protection from your spirit guides and angels.

PILE SIX

someone who has unsafe and destructive intentions is about to be removed into your life. this person has been eyeing you for a long time now and they're about to be cut off totally. this person is somewhat causing you harm for making you feel insecure about your physical and mental health. it can also be that this person might deceit and lied about you in the past that may cause you loss of trust towards them. so, after this person is out of your life. a new beginning is about to start, just be willing to embrace change and strive for your own personal growth. in the next weeks, you gonna find yourself mostly your mental health in it's best and steady aiming for peacefulness.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work with or without my explicit permission.

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Your upcoming revenge arc [jennifer's body theme]

Left to Right= Pile 1->Pile 3

Introduction

This is a sweet reading on how you will have your- come up- in your future life journey. Enjoy!

Pile 1

Past: Three of Pentacles

This card suggests a period of collaboration and hard work. You've been dedicated to your craft, honing your skills, and working well with others to achieve a common goal. You might have had challenges with regards to career developments. Maybe it is something out of your control that caused this. You have been undermined regarding your skills because of this.

Present: Knight of Pentacles

Currently, you're in a phase of steady progress. The Knight of Pentacles represents diligence, responsibility, and persistence. You're putting in the necessary effort and staying focused on your long-term goals.

Future: The World

This card signifies completion, achievement, and fulfillment. Your efforts in career development will pay off, leading to a sense of accomplishment and the opening of new opportunities. You will feel a sense of a massive boost to your self esteem when you achieve success in this one career goal or project that you are working on. You will receive a public accolade in terms of career and you will feel confident in yourself and your skills.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Past: Ten of Swords

This card indicates a painful ending, likely a betrayal or significant emotional hurt. It represents the culmination of a difficult period, leaving you feeling wounded but also marking the end of this chapter. A specific person or people might have caused you a lot of pain and you might have felt betrayed and disrespected.

Present: The Star

In the present, The Star brings hope, healing, and renewal. You're finding inspiration and regaining your sense of self. This card suggests a time of recovery and the beginning of new possibilities. You have created a new sense of self and managed to continue to create a beautiful environment for yourself. You are magnetizing good luck right now.

Future: The World

The World represents new beginnings and adventures and the closing of a past cycle. Moving on from your past relationship will open you up to fresh experiences and opportunities. Embrace the journey ahead with a sense of optimism and curiosity. Since you are creating an end of an era in terms of your previous relationships and life, you are opening yourself up to new a timeline. This new space created for yourself is a whole 180 turn in comparison to how you were living before. Get ready!

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Past: Five of Swords

This card represents conflict and discord. You may have experienced misunderstandings or felt undermined by those close to you, leading to tension and isolation. Discord in terms of family and friends might have caused you a lot of turmoil.

Present: Two of Cups

The Two of Cups signifies harmony, partnership, and mutual understanding. You're currently in a phase of reconciliation, rebuilding trust, and strengthening your relationships with family and friends. You are learning to build relationships up while taking accountability for how you behave. You might be trying to allow people in your life to understand you better. It might not be easy currently.

Future: Ten of Cups

This card is the epitome of emotional fulfillment and harmony in relationships. Your efforts to connect deeper with loved ones will result in lasting happiness and a renewed sense of community and support. Despite things not being easy to get to that state, you would still get there as you would be making calculated communicative efforts. You will rebuild yourself and the life around you to a better level. You will receive a sense of appreciation from those around you. Your actions will be filled with purpose as well.

[elizakai]

I like thinking about their more canon adjacent dynamic (character wise)

MINI ANALYSIS TIME

Because while I love the soft interpretations, even WITH those let’s be real; that’s not how they’d act off the bat

Horror would be extremely judgmental (fair) and hate Dust for what he did. He’d despise him and probably be very passive aggressive. Making jabs and making his disdain apparent when they have to interact. I think getting a read on Dust is also difficult and would piss Horror off. Horror is unpredictable and has a sadistic streak, if he was mad or manic and had Dust in a corner he’d have no qualms about manhandling the guy. (And Dust probably wouldn’t do much to stop him.)

Meanwhile, Dusttale’s creator was asked once how Dust may feel if he met Horror, to which they said he feels bad for Horror. He likes him, sees him as someone who went through something horribly undeserved. In my mind Dust is somewhat protective of Horror.

I interpret these clashing of dynamics as Horror’s just utter disdain for this guy, and Dust’s resigned acceptance of Horror’s judgment. He’d agree with him if he were to judge himself, but I think a part of him wants Horror’s approval. He doesn’t EVER expect to get it, but Horror is….

While he’s seen hell, he’s almost a less tormented version of Dust himself. Deep down they are the same. Horror has suffered greatly, but even still hasn’t hit the deep end dust has, and I think he’d want to protect that sort of innocence he’s granted. One could think of it as him protecting a piece of himself he himself has already sacrificed. And wanting APPROVAL from him, wishing to be forgiven, craving that small piece of validation or understanding as he tries to reconcile with himself.

Horror’s formed opinion makes sense, he agrees with it, and simply wishes he disagreed, that he could have proof of himself being a FRACTION worthy of forgiveness or understanding.

The judge in both of them has both formed an opinion of the other, and they happen to differ greatly. Horror sees Dust as an abuser and Dust sees Horror as a victim.

I like to imagine that, while reluctantly thrown into the same general vicinity, Horror would grow to be more understanding (again if we are going with a PROGRESSIVE plot line) and come to understand that, yes, he wasn’t WRONG, but there is nuance to the situation. They both have a very grim understanding of what it’s like to be trapped. I think he has the capacity to understand Dust better if he was given time. His hands aren’t clean after all, and he knows what it’s like to be forced into a situation and to feel backed into a drastic decision. He knows what it’s like to lose your autonomy and to feel your mind break itself under pressure.

I think the simple fact that Dust wouldn’t TRY to change his mind or justify himself would be part of why Horror could come to understand him. He’s devestated by his actions, he is by no means a sadist.

Horror coming to understand Dust and sort of reconcile/forgive him I think would be rather BIG for Horror, especially if you factor in other situations he now has to consider. (For example, his Undyne and her drastic attempt at freeing the undergroud…) reconciling his OWN arguably cruel decisions he has made with pure intentions, when he feels there’s no other choice (like his Papyrus and tricking him into doing something so outside of his beliefs, to protect him)

It would also be healing for Dust to get that reconciliation with Horror because again…Horror’s opinion actually may MATTER.

And in the same way that Dust may see Horror as a sort of person to be protected from further harm, Horror would probably pick up on all of the VERY bad habits Dust has that (in my observation at least) are EXTREMELY similar to his own habits/past habits (isolation, obsession, deprivation, paranoia, bringing harm to self etc) and I could see him being sensitive towards those and trying to prevent it worsening (it’s a sore subject💔) Horror is shown to prioritize taking care of those he cares about, even when he’s a bit mad, and he has the capacity to grow an understanding for someone he doesn’t like initially :))

I think they have potential to be VERY good for one another, Horror (while being fucked up) encourages (and maybe forces) better habits and actually has an opinion that matters to Dust, and Dust is inclined to be VERY loyal (Horror needs someone to show him loyalty.) to anyone who cares to give him the time of day, as it’s far beyond what he’d expect, and he’s got the sympathy/protective streak towards Horror as an actual in character detail.

And from there it would be wonderful to explore their dynamic in whatever way you like to interpret it🤫💥

I could go on but I’ll stop here, if you read this all CONGRATS!!!

Share your thoughts I love it

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Dec 5th

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1. Hello do you know any fics where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan travel to the past and meet their past selves? @lianetteeee

💖 vinegar jug by dandelion_san (G, 7k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Humor, Awkward Crushes, Jealousy) Only Lan Wangji time travels and it's been incomplete since 2020 however it's really funny 😭

How did I end up with this Frozen Heart? by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, YP!WWX, twin prides of yunmeng are horrified at the relationship between their future selves, YP!WWX has short hair, Canon Divergence, Self-Indulgent, wangxian get together early, Songfic, JC Bashing, LXC Bashing)

How to get anxiety from time trave and not mess up (by fall out boy) by SerlinaBlack (T, 5k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Fluff, Family Fluff, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pining LWJ, Pining WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, Slightly, Canon JC, he isn't there much, like two lines mentioned at tops, but JC fans might jot like it)

🔒 ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water by RoseThorne (G, 1k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JYL & WWX, JC & WWX, WWX & WQ, LQR & LWJ, LQR & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Character Death, Future Character Death, Timey-Wimey, Truth, Honesty, Guilt, Crack and Angst, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc)

River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, Voyeurism)

花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie (M, 29k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It of Sorts, Case Fic, Spells & Enchantments, Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness)

Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)

a tide in two seas by occultings (microcomets) (E, 80k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parallel Universes, Modern with Magic, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Established Relationship, Mild Horror, Case Fic, mildly sci-fi, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Married Couple, Love Confessions) link in #11 LWJ/WWX and LZ/WY meeting

Though I'm Gone (Still Think Of Me) by sami (M, 7k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LWJ & Madam Lan, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, WWX/WWX (kinda), honestly what did you expect, Chaos Gremlin WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Asexual JC, yunmeng bros reconciliation) Also, for 1, you can try Sami’s contribution to the fabulous fix-it time travel series The Same Moon Shines, a later episode “Though I’m Still Gone (Think of Me) even if you must (oh, the ‘torture’ to have to read a great work to get to this point!) to have it all make sense

~*~

2. Hi, this is for itmf. Do you guys have any recs that’s based on this scene. Anything angsty or with miscommunication. Thanks in advance !

You are not enough by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 2k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, POV LWJ, Episode 21, drama queen LWJ, bitchy LWJ, resting murder face LWJ, Unreliable Narrator, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional Constipation, LWJ thinking with his sword) my fic is a retelling of that episode from LWJ’s point of view.

Futile Devices by beautiful_crimes (G, 3k, WangXian, Fix-It, Episode Fix-it, Making Up, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Swearing, Friends to Lovers, kind of?, Mutual Pining, spoilers for later epsiodes)

~*~

3. Hello. Thank You for all your recommendations. This blog has been Godsend.

This is an ITMF request: I was wondering if there were any WangXian versions of the Taiwanese BL drama We Best Love? @shenmiao98

~*~

4. Itmf wwx finding/adopting a baby (or kid) during the sunshot campaign & how that my effect things (his actions, people's perception of him) was the kid orphaned or abandoned? Lost parents due to elements/resources/bandits/animals/monsters? Were parents refugees? Part of razed village or sect? Etc.

🧡 Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WangXian, WWX & WQ & WN, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Angst, Not JC Friendly, BAMF WWX)

❤️ And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together, And Time is But a Paper Moon [PODFIC] by sami, Winterstar1412, [Podfic] Cold read of And Time Is But A Paper Moon by kisahawklin) (many translations and 2 podfics available) this has WWX and LWJ adopting A-Yuan during the war, but they aren't able to spend much time with him during the war so the way he changes people's perceptions of WWX mostly comes up after the war

~*~

5. Hi, thank you all for your great help! ❤️ I'm here again with a long ask lol

ITMF for fics where Wei Wuxian is a bit (or a lot) more angry at the cultivation world. At their bigotry and cruelty, corruption and ignorance to the suffering of innocents. Where he really reacts to everything that happened to him and his, admits to himself how hurt he really was and still is, how he does not deserve it. Speaks or screams about it cleanly, exposes their flaws with words and actions.

Maybe he says "go to hell" and leaves to live heal on a faraway island with lemurs and bunnies, leaving the cultivation world to rip itself apart with political conflicts or just rot like a swamp.

Maybe he takes revenge, either with calm head or in saint anger-induced agression, though i would prefer him as still the Wei Ying we know and love (like, more bitter, and on the same level of violence as the MDZS itself is, but no sudden OOC with him becoming a tyrant, or commiting genocide just for it's sake, etc.)

I don't mind there being or not being any good people among the sects, but if he gets someone nice and kind to snuggle at the end or stand by his side, it would be awesome.

Can also be an ending where Wei Ying remains bitter, angry and depressed and does not let these feelings go, though please mention that there is an open/unhappy ending. Thank you!! ✨️🥰 @shellennium

🔒 Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

If only you knew by 10thNoNamePerson (E, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC & WWX Reconciliation, dive into wwx mental health, And LWJ being there for him since the beginning, Suicidal Thoughts, Angry WWX, Supportive LWJ)

even wildflowers wilt. by cop_ulate (Not Rated, 1k, Angry WWX, Guanyin Temple Scene, Canon Universe, Canon Compliant, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Golden Core Transfer) Please note that the last one does not have a happy ending.

Cradle by Dragonesque (T, 196k, WIP, Canon Divergenc, Adopted children, Yiling Wei Sect, BAMF WWX) has one of the greatest diss scenes I've ever seen. Yiling!wei sect, he dolls himself up all badass and crashes a conference to yell at the cultivation clans

~*~

6. Hello! I am in the mood for a fic that goes differently from the cave scene

the cave scene being after LWJ took WWX and WWX is out of his mind, LWJ confesses and then fights the elders

Are there any that start here and change up the rest? Like for example maybe WWX actually heard the confession, or LWJ realizes WWX is not in his right mind, and then maybe takes him away / protects him / etc

A Measure Of Time by NebulusCharlie (Not Rated, 309k, WangXian, Revenge, Darkji, jiang bashing Protective LWJ, protective wwx, happy ending but things are gonna get bad first, Time Travel Fix It, good uncle qiren, Murder Babies, Heavy on the angst in the middle but i swear it gets better, Canon Typical Violence, Rewrite of the story, Kidfic, Hugs, Good Parental Figures, Found Family, bad Qingheng-Jun, Heavenly Trials, destroying the Yin Iron pieces)

~*~

7. I'm in the mood for ...

so i finally read 'Life without regrets' and now have the urge to read a fic where Lan Xichen gets told off for his part in everything that went wrong - like how he completely blindly trusts JGY, even over his own brother - that he was definitely told by Wangji what the burial mounds are really like but just ignored it / didn't brlieve it / believes JGY when he says it's war criminals - and so on

probably too much to ask but i would love if the setting was somewhere after WWX rescues the Wens - but this is not a must!

(disclaimer: i love Xichen and equally enjoy reading fics where he is tge kindes, most trustworthy human being ever - but not this time 😅)

Mourning Dove by jaemyun (Not Rated, 29k, WIP, WangXian, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, WWX is dead at first, dark LWJ, rogue cultivator LWJ)

this blood in my mouth by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 3k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, POV LXC, Post-Canon, Yunmeng brothers)

🔒💖 When has silence saved anyone? by Vrishchika (T, 6k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, post-canon, LXC  critical, family feels, angry LWJ & LSZ, LXC gets scolded)

~*~

8. hi do you have any fics where wwx compliments lwj's physical attractiveness a lot? his body and muscles, his face, etc. @ashxi-wx

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

~*~

9. Hey! So I've come to realize that I have quite the masochistic streak when it comes to reading WangXian, so the angst is chef's kiss these days.

This goes for the ITMF fics, so I re-read "Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You're an Asshole)" by piecrust, and oh, the burn was so good!!! I mean, I did want to bang Lan Wangji's head on a wall a couple dozen times throughout the fic, but I liked it. No, I loved it rather.

So please do me the biggest favour and give me fic recs where Lan Wangji is a complete asshole to Wei Wuxian but also like he has to realize that he's being really really mean for no damn reason and over-compensate because please let the man grovel. I liked how piecrust portrayed the characters, so yeah. I don't mind if it is Canon or AU, I just need some fics to relinquish the sudden thirst for these types of fics.

Thank you in advance. @poetic-writes

🔒 The Second Jade of Lan’s late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, wangxian, First Time, LWJ’s Horny Grip, LWJ does not know what hit him, and yet somehow he still realizes it before WWX, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)

the river and the sea by sasamelons (T, 7k, WangXian, Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Mutual Pining)

我的皇后是農民 | sowing seeds in the cold palace by sweetlolixo (E, 84k, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Imperial Consort WWX, Farmer WWX, Angst, Romance, Wingman LJY, Wife-chasing-LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Best Boy A-Yuan)

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX confesses early on, But canon still happens, LWJ starts confessing after, but the tables have turned, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ rejects WWX, Then gets rejected by WWX after, “Get Lost”, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian)

~*~

10. heyy so I've been looking for some friends with benefits fics! I'd prefer modern but canon is all right too

Threadfic by SpearmintMimi If you don't mind threadfics this one is really good and one of my favs

Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, Wangxian, modern, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to WWX, LWJ gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, pining for the person you’re fucking, Friends With Benefits, friends who come together stay together, learning to use our words, there are also rabbits, Traumatic Injury, mention of past WWX/WQ)

be still, my foolish heart by mirrorofprinces (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Blow Jobs, Shower Sex, Misunderstandings, One innocent rabbit who did nothing wrong, based on a reddit post, Getting Together)

got your way with me by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 51k, wangxian, modern, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, in which brain cells are barely used, WWX is always the last to know, wangxian/others very briefly, otherwise it’s OTP all the way, LWJ FUCKS)

the moon lives in the lining of your skin by sarahyyy (M, 9k, wangxian, Modern, College/University, Friends With Benefits, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Pining, Love Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Roommates)

~*~

11. I'm in the Mood for fanfics where WWX is someone special. Like he has special ability/powers or he's just someone really unique. Thanks!

🔒care by everbrighter (T, 35k, LSZ & WWX, wangxian, modern w/ magic, resurrection, family bonding, getting to know each other, past character death, pining)

Pure Imagination by Witch_Nova221 (T, 119k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, JYL/JZX, LSZ LWJ & WWX, WIP, modern w magic, Romance, Toys, Toy maker, Magic, Found Family, Family Feels, Family Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hospitals, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s))

🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 363k, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX)

a tide in two seas by occultings (microcomets) (E, 80k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parallel Universes, Modern with Magic, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Established Relationship, Mild Horror, Case Fic, mildly sci-fi, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Married Couple, Love Confessions)

transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Devotion of Love by SaiaiSaiko (M, 47k, WangXian, 3Zun, WWX Lives, NMJ Lives, MXY Lives, Servant WWX, WWX in MXY's Body, Sentient Burial Mounds, Healer WWX, BAMF WWX, LWJ and WWX Adopt LSZ, POV Alternating, Canon-Typical Violence, Petty LWJ, Petty WWX, Canonical Self-Harm, LWJ Plays Inquiry, WWX answers Inquiry, Golden Core Reveal, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Good Sibling JC, Franken-canon, in the sense it's canon from donghua manhua drama and novel mixed and matched as I like, Good Person JGY, Domestic Fluff) maybe? Wei Wuxian has all the skills of making spiritual tools and this deep Connection to the Burial Mounds.

~*~

12. Is there wangxian fics where they were using double end dildos? Trans4trans wangxian or cis4cis wangxian are welcomed.

~*~

13. ITMF! Given how yzy resents wwx because of his mother I wonder how she'd be if jfm actually had an affair only yzy was the other woman. Recommendation for such fics please (canon or modern au anythings fine) @aristocraticteacup

~*~

14. Hi!! This is for the itmf!!

I recently read Watch Me Ignite It by Tawaen and I was wondering if you knew of anything similar? Or in the same vein as YLLZ!WWX being sect leader/WWX taking over the Wen sect. Thanks!! @namjoonsc-cuptits

Heliocentric by Coolio101 (T, 8k, WangXian, in which WWX is born as part of the Wen Sect, Mutual Pining, LWJ and JC are friends….kind of, Wen Sect WWX, Fix-It, LWJ has zero chill and is always 2 sec away from throwing hands, but that’s basically canon, also WRH is still an asshole, so if you were expecting redemption fic this might not be for you, Canon Divergence) features Wen Ying who was Wen Ruohan's son. Wen Ying becomes sect leader after killing his father, so hopefully, this is close to what they're looking for.

~*~

15. Hi, thank you so much for all the work you do! I'm in the mood for fics where any or all the Jiang family pay for what they did to WY. Not just with political consequences, but also corporal punishments or even execution, if possible. Thank you so much! @boxedbutterfly

Train Rides Change Everything by Seriana (E, 508k, WangXian, NHS/WX, JC/NMJ, JYL/LXC, A/B/O, Alpha/Omega, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Mpreg, Abusive Jiang Family, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Slut Shaming,bFluff and Angst, Unplanned Pregnancy, Feelings,bAbusive YZY, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Beta JC, Omega JYL, Modern, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Beta NHS, WC Being an Asshole, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Misunderstandings, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Scenting, Scent Marking, Scents & Smells, Slow Burn, Forced Marriage, First Time, Forced Bitching, Alpha WX, Minor Character Death, Murder, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kidnapping, drug overdose, Sexual Tension, Omega JC) It's a bit of a beast but ooo the pay off is worth it imo

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

Reclamation by CordialCoroner (CordialCrow) (M, 6k, Major Character Death, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Angst, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WQ is understandably angry, WQ gets some revengeas a treat)

Symmetryby Vir_Abelasan (M, 13k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, One-Sided JC/WWX, One-Sided JC/LSZ, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, LSZ is raised by WWX, WWX still dies sorry, Revenge, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dark LSZ, Manipulation, Power Imbalance, Torture, Not JC Friendly, JC’s Canonical 13 Years Murder Spree, BAMF LSZ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LSZ Gets to Go Apeshit)

so i cut the shackles and changed my name by MichelleFeather (T, 34k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, LQR & CSSR, LQR & WWX, CSSR/WCZ, WWX & The Lan Clan, WIP, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, WWX is a Lan, Good Uncle LQR, Supportive LQR, Protective LQR, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, JFM & YZY Bashing, Jiang Family Bashing, Abusive Jiang Family, Running Away, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Hurt WWX, Genius WWX, No Sunshot Campaign, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cultivation Sect Politics, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Canon Divergence, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, WRH isn’t a power hungry tyrant, mostly)

Hua Xianle by Tiffany_Guinne (Not rated, 260k, HuaLIan, WangXian, WIP, TGCF Crossover, Jiang Family Bashing, Madam Lan Lives, JFM and YZY Bashing, Bad Parent JFM, Bad Parent YZY, Overprotective Hualian as parents, WWX is good at feelings, WWX knows self preservation and self love, WWX NHS and JZX are friends, JC Bashing, No Golden Core Transfer, Canon Divergence, Ghosts and Gods are wrapped around WWX's fingers, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, WWX is kinda sickly, WWX is not named Wuxian, HuaLian Adopt WWX, WWX has selective mutism, PM is the uncle that teaches you how to flirt, Grandfather JW, MNQ is the grandmother then?, SQX is the aunt/uncle that spoils WWX, all of them spoils him actually, Creepy JFM, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, HUA YING DOES NOT GET RAPED!, Can't say the same for some unwanted...people, DLDR, This starts of mild and fluffy though) If the requester doesn't mind a crossover with TGCF, then Hua Xianle also works.

~*~

16. Itmf canon era wedding fics. Wedding fics with proper wedding with traditions and wedding rituals and the 100s of relatives. I ask the relatives because my country's tradition is fairly similar to Chinese traditions and well, different relatives with different roles for the wedding rituals is kind of a given thing. So hope for a wedding fic like that please!

I'm not sure if these are quite what the requester was looking for but maybe: With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending)

蓝色生死恋; a blue love (to live and to die for) by yiqie (M, 24k, WangXian, Post-Canon, wedding fic, Psychological Trauma, Empathy)

A Lifetime of It (Please, and Thank You) by misscam (M, 5k, WangXian, Wedding, a mix of series and novel, Humor, Fluff, Angst, some naughtiness, Switching)

~*~

17. In that same vein, I would love stories recs similar to Aftermath by KouriArashi. Where Jiang Yanli kills to protect her family, quietly and unassuming, in the background, if possible. @marietsy40-blog

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 120k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, SongXiao, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Needs A Hug, Women Being Awesome, BAMF Women, Minor Character Death)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 73k, WangXian, YZY/CSSR/MDM Lan, MingLi, Time Travel, EXTREME Canon Divergence, Wide Focus Narrative, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Most Named/Canon Characters Live, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Families of Choice, Parenthood, this work contains a major tonal shift, Fluff, Angst, Underage Sex, not particularly explicit, but not at all ambiguous, PTSD, Only a tiny bit, Unforeseeable consequences, The butterfly effect, Slightly Dark JYL, Asexual Characters, but that’s not really the focus, Canon-Typical Violence)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[moviemandyy]

source: dailywencIair on twt

I think about this a lot.

How Enid puts SO MUCH effort into trying to befriend Wednesday (this scene, the snoods, attempting to shop with Wednesday for a dress) that's why their "breakup" scene hits so hard. Cause Enid HAS been trying and constantly gets shut down by Wednesday.

Enid always respects this decision of course but that doesn't mean it's not still tedious to have your (self-proclaimed) "best friend" not really make an attempt to hang out or get to know you.

That's why she's so happy when Wednesday invites her for a girls night out 🥲

So when Enid has had enough, she leaves. And Wednesday wasn't expecting this AT ALL. She just thought she'd always be there but Enid as a person is not a pushover. She knows her worth (she struggles with it but she knows at the end of the day she is worthy of good). So when she's disrespected and hurt by Wednesday's actions she'd rather get away from it than continue to let herself be hurt by her. (good on Enid for that btw 💪 know your self-worth)

Wednesday then has to sit with that realization and it genuinely hurts her. She has to deal with this loss and the consequences of her actions, and for once, "it doesn't feel good." (ep6) Which is why it's an amazing showcase that is detrimental to her character development.

To Enid's as well but moreso Wednesday for the fact, the show is about her 💀 but we do still get a really interesting moment of Enid's character development.

Enid did feel bad for what happened as she comes to understand their friendship isn't worth losing over this quarrel. Plus, she's tired of letting others defining her worth (again Enid knows she deserves better but she does struggle with it because of her mom)

So that moment where she confronts Wednesday to tell her she's no longer going to apologize for being herself is really great for her own growth :)

The "breakup" & reconciliation moment is just really pivotal in steering both girls in the right direction for their respective arcs and in intertwining the two together to really build on the foundation of their friendship…into a romance >:)) that's why we have the great makings of a slow burn hehe (and don't get me started on the hug scene 🤭)

hi, I went on a long tangent but can you tell i like wenclair and think about them a normal amount 🫶

[etz-ashashiyot]

Hi nonny,

OHHHHHHhhhhh so this is about Kahanists, Ben-Gvir, and his cadre of absolutely batshit parade of horribles.

Great news! I actually link to articles about what Kahanism is and why it has no place in decent society in my pinned About post.

I have tried to educate people about literal terrorist and terror enthusiast Itamar Ben-Gvir previously on this blog, although now is as good a time as any to link to it as a reminder.

And I have called out terrible behavior on Israel's side in the past as well. (These are just the examples I found while digging for the other links, but there's more if you look.)

Rape, sexual abuse, torture, terrorism, etc. are bad no matter who is doing it and I have never taken another position on that matter. It's fucked up when people do it in the US, it's fucked when people do it in Israel, and it's fucked up when Hamas members do it. No one gets a free pass here.

I don't actually think we disagree on that, at least.

That all said, I still refuse to judge Israeli citizens as a whole or the validity of Israel as a country based on the actions of the absolute worst members of their society. It's awful and the victims deserve real accountability and justice. This is the same standard I use for Palestinians as well. I do not think Hamas is representative of your average Palestinian citizen either*, nor do I think that their right to self-determination should be denied because of Hamas - just that a disarmed and dismantled Hamas is necessary for building a lasting and democratic Palestinian state alongside Israel. But don't take it from me.

*I'm certain someone is likely to come along and argue about the complicity of Gazan civilians in 10/7 and other earlier atrocities. I understand where that is coming from, but at the same time, I think it is also worth considering how Gazans live under Hamas' brutal authoritarian regime and have been intentionally radicalized. I think any future peace project is going to require deep educational work, deradicalization work, and Truth and Reconciliation processes for both sides in order to stick.

A final reminder that this is the best summary of my views on the conflict as a whole.

[ncfan-1]

Am I weird for thinking that the moment when Sol sealed his own fate wasn’t when he continued to make excuses for himself even to Osha, but at a much earlier moment in Episode 8? “You’re not even sisters.”

Sol’s attempt to convince Mae that she and Osha aren’t even sisters is, in context, the most heartlessly cruel thing anyone does this season. Mae has lost everything—in large part because of Sol. The only thing she has left is her bond and her kinship with her sister. Her bond with Osha is basically non-existent at that point in the episode—in part because of Mae’s own actions as a child, but due in larger part to the lie Sol has spent the last sixteen years hiding behind. Her kinship with her sister is all Mae has left, and now Sol wants to take this from her, too? To leave her with absolutely nothing at all? To say to her “You have no claim on her love. You’re not connected.”

It feels like… Sol very much regards both Osha and Mae as his, though only Osha is ever afforded the gentler, more positive parts of him, with Mae left to bear the brunt of his worst traits, especially at the end as he’s completely unraveling. And now he’s desperately trying to gain and regain complete control over both of them, and it feels like he’s hit on the idea, whether consciously or not, that it might be easier to control them if he breaks the final bond between them, if he plays divide and conquer and leaves the more unruly of his “children” with nothing at all she can hold dear.

And down on Brendok, after he’s seen the desolate ruin he left Mae to struggle to survive in all by herself, Sol could have had a turnaround, Sol could have relented and actually taken accountability for what he did when confronted with the place and possibly having some memories jarred loose of the way things actually were, but he doesn’t. He just doubles down. He has the absolute gall to tell Mae that she and Osha aren’t even sisters again.

Thankfully, Mae seems to regard this argument with all the contempt it deserves, but that doesn’t make it better. How do you look a woman whose life you destroyed when she was just a little girl dead in the eye, not once, but twice, and even in the ruins of her home standing in the exact spot where you killed her mother right in front of her, try to take the only thing she has left away from her and grind it into dust?

…Because you’re so deep in denial that you genuinely have no conception of how vile what you’re saying to her actually is.

Not that that this makes it better. If anything, it makes it worse. Sol has one moment of something approaching clarity—the way he struggles to say aloud that yes, he did kill Osha and Mae’s mother, the way his denial breaks into self-loathing, the way this is the only moment in the whole episode where he looks at Mae like she’s anything other than a problem to be gotten under control. But it’s not enough to save him. Really taking accountability could maybe have saved him, but it’s only a moment, and the moment he realizes Osha was in earshot, he sinks right back down into denial.

But he still tries to deny Osha and Mae’s sisterhood. And that is something so heartlessly cruel that I think it is what seals his fate. Because you don’t come back from that. Particularly not if you are so deep in denial that you refuse to even acknowledge how cruel it is. If you never admit that what you’re doing is wrong, you can never feel proper remorse. If you don’t feel proper remorse, you can’t tell that you’re digging your grave. You just seal your own fate without even realizing what you’re doing.

For more than one reason. On a metatextual level, Osha and Mae are the main characters of this show. Their relationship and their past is the crux of this show. Sol seals his own fate by trying to deny Osha and Mae’s sisterhood because, well, they are the main characters. The story is hurtling towards their reunion and reconciliation when Osha learns the truth. And he has positioned himself as someone trying to keep them apart and break the bond between them even at the very last. In a story where the goal is for the sisters to finally understand each other and properly love each other again, a man who is trying to keep them apart and trying to deny that they even are sisters… has just made himself into the final boss. He’s made himself into something that has to be vanquished for Osha and Mae to have any resolution.

And you want him to be vanquished. Because by the time Mae was out of the restraints and shocking Sol with Pip, I was hissing something pretty familiar at my screen: Stop talking.

[bblovetarot]

{୭} What do you need to release?

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄paid readings . ༄

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

Pile 1, it seems like you've been caught up in overthinking a recent relationship that ended, questioning the reasons behind it and reflecting on patterns in your love life. The recurring theme of meeting similar types of people and relationships not lasting has caused you anxiety, potentially affecting your sleep schedule. Some of you may be asking, "Why do I always attract the same kind of relationships, and why don't they last?" The universe is urging you to step out of your head and ground yourself. For some, you may already have answers, while others might still be seeking clarity. Balancing feminine (heart) and masculine (mind) energies is crucial for clear thinking. Meditation, journaling, reading, music, dance, and yoga are all ways to ground yourself. Finding what resonates best for you is important. For many in Pile 1, a spiritual awakening has occurred, particularly related to relationships. A mother wound may have impacted your relationships, leading to an insecure attachment style. For those unfamiliar with attachment styles, researching this aspect can provide valuable insights into your behaviors and patterns. This moment is transformational for you, Pile 1. While it may feel daunting, remember that the universe supports you. Seeking the guidance of a therapist could be beneficial if you feel overwhelmed. Releasing the fear you've been holding onto is a crucial step, and for many of you, it seems like you've already begun this process. As you release fear, an important decision awaits you. This decision has the potential to lead to more committed and fulfilling relationships, especially if that's what you desire. In a broader sense, this decision will positively impact your long-term future. To make clear-headed decisions, finding balance within yourself is essential. If you're seeking change, trust in the process, be patient, and believe in yourself and the support of the universe.

Pile 2

Pile 2, it's time to release the grip you have on a past relationship or someone you still harbor feelings for. Whether you are currently separated or entertaining thoughts of reconciliation, the universe is urging you to let go of the idea that this person is a "twin flame" or "soulmate." The relationship left you feeling hurt and possibly betrayed, and you might have shed tears over it. If you've been repressing these emotions, it's essential to confront them and allow yourself to feel. Memories of this person or past relationships may resurface, and you may feel ashamed or try to push them away. However, avoidance won't release these emotions; it merely suppresses them, waiting for an opportunity to resurface. Take the time to sit with your emotions, allow yourself to feel, and if needed, give yourself permission to cry. If you've been using distractions or toxic coping mechanisms to avoid the pain, it's time to release those patterns. There's a strong emphasis on avoiding reckless behaviors in this pile. Overindulging in risky actions, overspending, or excessive self-sacrifice without proper boundaries will only lead to more despair in the long run. Spirit advises caution and encourages you to look before you leap. Reckless actions might provide temporary relief but won't contribute to long-term healing. For those still entangled in this situation, the universe prompts self-reflection. Are you being fair to yourself? Are you living in alignment with your true happiness? It's time to release old patterns and people from your life. The universe is guiding you towards a different path, and this requires a leap of faith. Trust in yourself, listen to your heart, and believe in your ability to make the right decisions. While the mind may deceive with doubts and insecurities, your heart and intuition hold the truth about what you truly deserve, want, and need in your life. Trust in your inner guidance and take the necessary leaps when the time comes. If it means leaving certain people behind, don't let that hold you back. Some individuals are not meant to follow us on our life's journey, and new connections will emerge to enrich your path.

Pile 3

Pile 3, it seems that you've been putting a considerable amount of effort into something, whether it's related to work or a relationship. However, despite your hard work, it has reached a point where things feel stagnant or unfulfilling. You might have wished for success, but now that it's here or hasn't arrived, you find yourself detached from the outcome and even apathetic. The universe is signaling that it's time to release whatever has become stagnant or stale. This release is not meant to be permanent, but rather a temporary break. The guidance is to take a step back, surrender to the situation, and refrain from making impulsive decisions. Continuing to push forward without a break might lead to burnout. There's a need for you to sacrifice the urge to take immediate action and instead focus on surrendering to the circumstances. Allow yourself to take a break and be in the energy of receiving. The universe suggests a period of rest and relaxation to rejuvenate your mind and spirit. If taking a vacation is possible, consider doing so, as it could be a healing experience. It's revealed that you've been overworking, possibly influenced by competition or external pressures, which has led to feelings of depression and a lack of motivation. Now that this phase has passed, surrendering and giving yourself the space to rest will allow the chaos in your mind to subside. By embracing the energy of receiving, you'll find yourself in a better place. It's time to raise the white flag, take a break, and let yourself receive the positive energy and opportunities that are coming your way.

[thestupidhelmet]

gaslighting

1 : psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.

compassion

: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Both definitions from Merriam-Webster.com

---

Unfortunately, we can control only what we say or do, not how another person interprets our words and actions. It will be the same with this post, which I'm very sorry I have to make.

For the first time in my fourteen years in the T7S fandom, someone blocked me. I understand why. No one should feel unsafe in a fandom space. Despite my best efforts at reconciliation, including patience, compassion, and asking how I could better support this person, I received back personal attacks and accusations. Even then, I responded only with support and compassion.

Yeah, I have the conversation still in my messages. I've read it over many times to see where I might have misstepped. But what's there is my openness to the other person's grievances, my willingness to learn and grow from my mistakes, my apologies for the inciting incident that angered the person.

The responses I received were ever-growing anger and personal attacks. Nothing I could say could allay what the person felt. Reconciliation takes both parties working toward it.

My mistake, I realize, is the inciting incident. The person made a public post about a ship. I might have misread which ship it was. I replied, not a reblog, about how I wish the ship (Leia/Gwen) were romantically canon in T9S, but like Fez/Kelso on T7S, they have a canonically intimate but platonic relationship. That's the totality of what I wrote.

Then the private messaging began, by me, because I saw the person's unhappiness with my reply. I had wanted, in that same post, to write a reconciliatory response. I was blocked from doing so.

I know from previous private conversations with this person that they don't want anyone with differing opinions commenting on their posts. I've only ever offered this person advice when asked, an ear to listen, and obliged when requested to send them public asks about characters and ships. I should have refrained from commenting on their public post. That was my mistake. I'd hoped to have a fun fandom conversation.

Those of you here who know me, know me. This post isn't written for you but to address the public accusations the other person made about me. I'm a very private person, and I prefer to keep private interactions private. Our fandom has had enough drama the last few months, and I'm sad that the decayed dynamic between the other person and me has added to it.

I operate from a place of compassion. I'm also human and make mistakes in judgement. As I said to the other person privately, I'll say it publicly (as I believe this post will be read by that person through whatever means): I'm sincerely sorry that my comment on your public post angered you.

I try my best never to hurt anyone, especially not intentionally. I hate causing other people pain, and I hope that blocking me will help you feel safer and better. Sadly, my attempts to do so myself failed spectacularly and only upset you further. 😕

[ladypiscesmoon]

Update Matt Bomer & Jonathan Bailey

Tumblr allows only 10 pictures at the time, that’s why there are none of the last two asks.

*reading is alleged/for entertainment purposes

Fairytale Lenormand:

Ring, letter, birds, fox, lilies, rider

Thoughts: conversations, communication, Written conversations, suspicion about a conversation, communication for selfish means, passionate conversations, conversations about sex, open communication, making promises, contract

The love angels oracle deck: redirect your thoughts, actions speak louder than words, open your eyes, reconciliation, engagement, have faith

situation love deck: coffin, soulmates, teddy bear, paradise

The romance angels oracle cards,: trust, heart to heart conversations, worth waiting for, children, calling your soulmate, stay optimistic about your love life

Love oracle cards island time wellness: seduction, the dragonfly, the golden mirror, the snake, ascending

the hermit tarot: now is not the time, there is someone else, I never imagined perfection, I have so much desire for you, you make my heart full, maybe

They seem to be a lot in contact, texting, ringing, being open and vulnerable with each other. I think Matt's not too careful at the moment, so his husband may suspect something is the matter.

They seem very committed to each other, both of them feel like they have never felt anything like this before. It's difficult for Matt, but he knows his marriage no longer exists. He feels like it has run it course and he wants out. He hesitates because of his family, especially because of his children. But he's very unhappy. He feels like a snake (sneaky) talking to Jonathan sneakily. But he doesn't want to stop.

Everything with Jonathan feels right. Again, I pulled soulmates, twice with different decks. they are willing to wait for each other, Jonathan especially gives Matt space and time to come to terms with his conflicting feelings.

So, summarizing, they still have very strong feelings, are actually in a lot of contact with each other. Matt feels conflicted still, but knows he has to make a decision. They will have a wonderful relationship when Matt comes to terms with his situation and walks away.

Questions:

Are they emotionally and physically compatible? A: 6 of wands, ace of swords, five of swords reversed. Wellness oracle: separation, passion. Yes they are, they would have a very good and peaceful yet a passionate relationship. It's just complicated by the circumstances of Matt not being a free man.

Are they sexually attracted to each other? Will they end up together in a relationship? A: Yes, they are. I have pulled for their sexual attraction in this reading. They will end up together when they figure everything out and Matt is honest with his husband.

Are they in love? A: Abundance, blowing kiss, five of cups reversed. Yes, they are very much. But for Matt there are still a lot of obstacles and fear of leaving something familiar. Also grief of letting it go.

Does Matt's husband know? A: seduction, shock, the butterfly, self-indulgence, coffee cup. I think he suspects something. Matt's distracted and stand-offish. His husband tries to be nice, but Matt feels trapped.

Is Jonathan dating or sleeping with anyone? A: the star reversed, 3 of swords reversed, 8 of cups. Not at the moment, no. He's really in love, hoping they'll work it out. Trying to have faith Matt will choose him and leave his bad relationship behind.

How long will Jonathan wait for Matt? A: I pulled a time card, but as ever: don't put to much faith in it, energy changes all the time. So, it's hard to predict. Temperance, justice: As long as he and Matt are in a good place, he will have hope. He knows Matt just needs some time.

What kind of connection and love do Matt and Jonathan have? A: They are soulmates. I have pulled a soulmate card in every reading I did for them. Twice, this time. They have never felt anything like this before.

Will they act together again onscreen in another project? A: two of cups, the tower reversed, the hierophant reversed. They would love to and in future they might. Or come together in a different project, not necessarily acting together. Could also be something close to their heart, like a charity.

Will Jonathan win an Emmy for Fellow Travelers in this coming September? A: 6 of wands, 5 of wands. 6 of wands indicates triumph, 5 of wands competition. So, it's unclear. I can check again closer to the date, but you'll have to remind me.

[expectiations]

You should totally talk about River’s ‘The Doctor does not and has never loved me’ speech and emotional impermanence!

I’ve thought about it before, and to me it’s always seemed like it stemmed from a very relatable ‘I’m not good enough for the Doctor’ mentality?

Finally had enough breathing space to have a bit of a chat about these two. I have already yapped about my thoughts on that speech, but the more I learn about emotional permanence (or the lack of it), the more I see it in River. It's not a widely known concept I think, especially within the fandom. It may not have been in Moffat's mind when he wrote THORS but it still makes sense. Anyways, I hope I answered your ask adequately below!

River’s "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech reflects a moment of raw pain and emotional impermanence. It happens during a period of profound grief following the loss of her parents and a period of separation from the Doctor. Her words aren’t grounded in reality but in her state of mind—a mix of grief, emotional impermanence, and the effects of a miscommunication fueled by their nonlinear timelines.

River’s feelings of inadequacy aren’t caused mainly by the Doctor’s actions. He is openly affectionate, both verbally and physically. Their love is steady and enduring. However, River’s emotional impermanence makes it hard for her to hold onto that sense of being loved when the Doctor isn’t physically present. When he’s around, his love feels undeniable. When he isn’t, her mind fills the gaps with self-doubt: If he’s not here, does he still love me?

This emotional impermanence is amplified by their out-of-sync relationship. The Doctor’s absences, combined with the grief of losing her parents, make it harder for River to believe she’s enough. This isn’t about the reality of their love but how her emotional state distorts her perception of it.

By the time River delivers her speech, it’s clear a massive misunderstanding has occurred. Both are grieving Amy and Rory, but their coping methods clash. River suggests going to Darillium, perhaps as a way to reconnect and process their loss together. The Doctor refuses—not because he doesn’t care, but because he fears Darillium marks the end of their time together. His attempt to protect her only drives her away.

For River, his refusal may have felt like rejection. Emotional impermanence convinces her that his pushing her away reflects how he feels about her. In reality, the Doctor’s love hasn’t wavered—his absence stems from his fear of losing her. This miscommunication leaves them both isolated in their grief.

The Doctor’s reaction to the row is evident in The Snowmen, where he retreats into isolation, believing his time with River has ended. He searches for her to make amends but never finds her, yet upon seeing her data ghost, he is convinced their time is over. River, meanwhile, is left to process their fight on her own. By the time we see her in The Husbands of River Song, it’s clear the wound hasn’t healed.

River’s strength lies in her ability to keep functioning, even while carrying deep emotional wounds. She can compartmentalize her pain, locking it away to continue living her life. But her "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech is a moment where those walls break down. It reveals how much the row, their separation, and her emotional impermanence have affected her. It’s not a reflection of reality, but a cry of pain from someone who feels disconnected from the person she loves most.

River’s speech isn’t about a lack of love from the Doctor—it’s about the intersection of her grief, emotional impermanence, and their miscommunication. Their love is not fleeting or weak. It’s enduring, as evidenced by their reconciliation at Darillium. The speech reflects River’s humanity: beneath her larger-than-life confidence is someone who experiences self-doubt, pain, and longing like anyone else. Their relationship, with all its complications, remains a testament to their deep love and commitment.

[jj-5656]

Compromise  With; Anthony Lockwood

A/N: An anon requested angst, and who would I be not to deliver? This one took a while, apologies for the wait. Thank you so much for all the recent love, it means so much. I hope you enjoy.

TW: Descriptions of injury, arguing, suicidal ideation(?), Lockwood being a self-absorbed prick :)

Summary: The one where you and Anthony are at odds, and there seems to be little room for reconciliation. 

Taglist: @sunshineangel-reads @fox-bee926 @helpmelmao @galactidiot  @soupsaurus @nekee-lilac02​ (Tagged ppl who seemed to like my last story, lmk if you want to be removed <3)

       Lockwood isn’t accustomed to your anger. 

Well...That’s not entirely true. You have a bit of a short fuse, sometimes. Accustomed to your occasional irritance, sure. He fancies teasing you, pushing your buttons for the sake of admiring the way your nose scrunches up, how you huff that ever-stubborn strand of hair from your vision. 

This, though. Whatever this is, it’s different. You’re practically seething as you search around the lamp-lit kitchen. Booming thunder and relentless London rain the only noise accompanying your movement. That and the boot shackled around your left foot, which thumps pitifully as you rummage the first aid kit. He feels like a disobedient child sat in the headmistress’ office. Ragged hair still damp from the rain after a grueling mission. One that’s left a nasty gash across his forearm, having been forced into a picture frame in the midst of fighting a vengeful type two. 

George and Lucy had long gone off to bed. A brisk debrief over a final cup of tea before slugging off to their respective bedrooms. Luckily, your bastard of a boyfriend had suffered the only injury. You’d missed all the action considering your current state, though that hadn’t ceased the fierce beating of your heart as you slumped into the seat in front him. Drawing the oil lamp nearer for better light as you motion for his arm. He obeys immediately, silently, face pulled with the kind of tension only present when he’s really worried. 

Good. You honestly hope he’s terrified. Serves him right. Your tense mood is not only due to his ailment, but the lingering frustration from your argument earlier in the evening. 

**************

“Absolutely not. You’re not coming along on any missions ‘til that boot is off.” 

“Anthony, I’ll be alright. I’ve been getting around the house just fine so far!” “You shouldn’t even be on it as much as have been.” He’s got the audacity to scoff, almost amused. “More stress will only make the healing process longer.” You cross your arms, looking toward your bag-clad friends for support. 

“We should check on the cab.” Lucy offers a tight-lipped smile as George nods, ushering her out the front door before you can direct your anger toward them.

“You said yourself this case is going to be especially touch sensitive. That the client reported how evasive the problem was. Sight and sound won’t be as useful.” 

“Precisely. Perfect that George is coming along, yes?” Your eyes narrow at his condescension, you’d grown tired of his babying ever since your incident two cases ago. It felt like ages since you’d been in the field. 

“George will be too preoccupied with all the evidence! I won’t even go further than a few feet from the threshold. Just let me get a feel of things so I can-” 

“I said no, y/n. It’s final.” 

“Says who?”

“Says the leader of this company.” You choke a laugh, tossing your bag onto the floor with a heavy thud. 

“Right, yes. The one who makes all the calls?” 

“Sounds about right.” His brown eyes narrow in challenge, frustrated you’re failing to understand he’s only trying to keep you safe. 

“Same one who made the call we go into the Hope residence without well-rounded research? The case we rushed into without enough information and it ended with me on house arrest?” It’s a low blow, undoubtedly. A twinge of wounded guilt flashes across his face before the venom seeps back in. Lump in his throat burning horribly before he swallows it to dissipation. 

“Same one who knows if things go South this time ‘round you’ll only slow us down.” Your stomach twists with the distaste in his tone, vision blurring with tears as he turns toward the door. Jumping as it slams shut and takes him with it. 

********

“Won’t need stitches.” You note simply, surveying the wound gently. He nods, shoulders straightening in preparation for the oncoming pain. “Still some glass debris, I’ll have to take it out.” He’s lucky, from what it looks like the gash could have been much worse. 

“I can manage it just fine on my own.” You bite your tongue. In the year’s biggest plot twist, Anthony Lockwood insists on suffering alone in lieu of his own pride. 

“You can’t. You’re not risking any more damage to the arm that wields your rapier. Just let me.” He doesn’t listen, of course. Pinching the tweezers in his grasp and looming forward to get a better look. Dizzying at the sight, he’s not strong enough to prohibit you from taking them back. Pushing at his shoulder so he’ll relax against the chair. 

It’s not your typical bedside manner. Usually when injuries happen its gentle touches and muttered sorries or other affections. Soft and kind. 

The intruding thought pulls Lockwood’s frown deeper. The throbbing in his arm practically minuscule to the war zone in his mind. It’s awful...He misses you and yet you’re a mere foot away. 

His fist clenches as the tweezers near his skin once more, hand taking hold of your wist to cease the uncontrollably trembling of your appendage.

“Love-”

“Shush, I can do it.” You take a deep breath. Wordlessly combatting your conflicting emotions with slow, calculated inhales. You’re an agent. You’ve trained for this. Though the textbooks help little with the patching up tactics when it’s someone you love, when you’re at such odds.

You approach again, steady this time. He sucks his teeth at the particularly intricate extractions, but remains still for you. You move with as much efficiency as possible. Trying to remove the person from the wound, just as the books suggest. Though it’s nearing impossible with his eyes trained on you. Trying to steal every thought from your mind as if they’re his own. 

When you’re applying sterile gauze after thorough disinfection, he finds the courage to speak. 

“Thank you.” He clears his throat after it falters...From emotion or lack of use, you aren’t sure. Doesn’t matter, honestly. You’re still keen on grilling him. 

“George said you followed it up the stairs without telling him and Luce.”

“I was in a hurry. Wouldn’t have found its’ source in time if I hadn't.” You don't event try to conceal the roll of your eyes. Anger sinking back in as you collect the wrappers on the table and toss them into the bin. 

“So you’re allowed to be reckless on the job as long as nobody else is?”

“Reckless. I’d argue, is an exaggeration.” 

“Exaggeration? Christ, you’re impossible.”

“Yeah?” He stands as you do, holding his wounded arm to his stomach as he leans against the counter. “How’s that?”

“You’re fine with breaking protocol so long as you’re the one doing it. Putting yourself at risk any chance you get without a second thought. It’s maddening!” 

“And how do you suppose you got yourself in that boot?”

“Not by beckoning death! Mine was an accident, Anthony. I swear, sometimes it’s like you want to get yourself killed!”

“You don’t-”

“No! I’m not finished.” You step toward him, jabbing a finger into his chest to accentuate your wrath. “You have people depending on you. People that care about you, love you to bits. And you’d rather spend the better half of missions taunting death than preventing it. If you wanted to be so fucking careless, you shouldn’t have made me fall in love with you. Now here we are, both vexed and in varying casts because of you can’t seem to understand the sanctity of your own life.”

He knew that much had been true. Lockwood would risk just about anything in a case so long as it granted him victory. Hadn’t that been in the fine print, though? Guaranteed in this line of work? So long as you were granted this talent, this curse, you had a responsibility to utilize it to the best of its ability.

“Sweetheart.” It’s strained, nearly a beg with the amount of exhaustion ridden in his tone. “We can continue this tomorrow. Let’s go to bed, please.”

“I can’t,” his knuckles go white with their grip on the cold countertop as you hurriedly wipe at your eyes. “I can’t go to bed angry with you.” 

“Then don’t.” He takes one, two careful strides toward you. Fingers pinching at your elbow in an attempt to satisfy the burning need to hold you. “Let’s forgive each other for the next seven hours. Then you can go on hating me, okay?” You huff a laugh, forehead instinctively pressing to his chest. He bathes in it as long as you’ll allow, pulling back seconds later and headed toward your room with him in tow.

********

Anthony’s eyes follow your frame as you approach the stove. Taking the cup of tea he’s prepared for you and taking your usual seat between him and George. He pushes your chair out with his foot to allow you easier access, nudging a plate of buttered toast your way. It’s not an apology, not even an olive branch. Lockwood simply refuses to cease these small acts of service no matter how angry you are with one another. It’s practically instinctual at this point, second nature. His brows furrow when you let out a relieved exhale once sat. Joining along your accomplices’ conversation about your ongoing case he’s drowned out momentarily in order to observe you.

“It hurts, doesn't it,” he unknowingly interrupts George’s spiel, “your foot.” 

“Only a bit. Just this morning.” It’s a meek defense. An evident dismissal so as not to prove his bench-warming call the right one. 

“You’ve been on it too much.” 

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” 

“You’re not. And if you had just listened-”

“Are we really starting this up again, right here?” Your eyes bore daggers into his frame. Doing your best to conceal your rage in leui of your dear bystanders beside you. Theres a few beats of silence, a moment of peace before the sorry fuck plates the nail in the coffin.

 “George, any word of upcoming cases? The sooner we leave for the day, the better.” Your chair scrapes against the hardwood as soon as he’s finished, silverware trembling as you force yourself upward. 

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” It’s practically a whisper, ridden with rage and overwhelming upset. His brown eyes meet yours, cold and distant. Completely unfamiliar. 

“So you like to think.” He quips, eyes following your form as you exit the kitchen twice as quick as you came in. There’s silence again, impossibly more awkward than before. 

“Dick move, Lockwood.”

“Stay out of it, Luce.”

“She’s right. Real dickish move there.” 

“George-”

“Right. Staying out of it.” 

*******

Lockwood prides himself for a lot of things. Communication, definitively, has never been one of them. 

How’s he supposed to explain it’s easier to put himself in front of the all the danger you face? That the rest of you need each other much more than you need him. 

That he’d rather die than lose someone again. 

He’s quiet as he creeps in, the usual love-lorn quip forgotten as he enters your shared bedroom. You’d been laying in bed, had been since breakfast. You weren’t usually one to sulk, but you were still in pain and definitely still angry. At your boyfriend, this damned boot, the world. 

“Word is your boyfriend’s been a right prick, lately. I’m hoping this can be my opportunity to stake my claim. If you’re cutting him out, that is.” He’s kneeling at the bedside, chin pressing into his forearms as he supports his head. You can feel his heat from here, hate how it weakens your cold resolve. His fingertip traces the skin on your back where your shirts ridden up, a ghost of a small passing his lips when you shudder. You’re pulling up the duvet, ceasing his touch while a trace of you wishes it hadn’t. 

You can’t see any hint of amusement leave his features. The dim of his eyes and the stutter of his heart. He swallows, subconsciously shuffling nearer. The need to be close growing tenfold. 

“Lovely, will you look at me?” Lockwood can’t help but cringe at how desperate it sounds. Whispered, rushed, fragile. Every indication he cares much more than he’s used to. 

He almost wishes he had’t asked. Dread consuming him when you turn to face him, tear stained cheeks and blotchy eyes. Lashes stuck together with moisture, blinking slow and strained. “Darling.” Is all he can manage, wounded and hushed. It makes you want to cry even more. 

“Why can’t you see I’m worried about you?” You croak out, voice strained and scratchy. His knuckles brush the moisture from under your eyes, brows furrowed with an expression you can’t quite read. 

“I do.” He wets his lips, “I see that.” An implication of I see you and I’m sorry. He’s never been good at apologies, but this time you need one. You need something, anything more than the breadcrumbs he drops. The urge to invite him in plagues your mind, broken expression tugging at your heart strings. You know better than to brush this one off, it’ll only have the same conflict arising again and lead to resentment. The realization reforms the burning lump in your throat, vision blurring with fresh tears. 

“I just-we need space.” Don’t we? Lockwood rears back, mustering up resolve he doesn’t have. You don’t mean indefinitely, you don’t mean a breakup, he knows that. Doesn’t make the words burn any less. 

“Okay, fine then.” If that’s what you really want.

He’s grabbing the dog-eared magazine at your bedside before you can say anything else. He hesitates at the door knob, begging to force himself to turn around and plead. Anthony Lockwood’s ego is somewhere near the sun, but its no match for how he feels about you. 

*******

You know when you suddenly become conscious of blinking? And it starts to feel a little odd, manual instead of automatic? You can almost forget what it was like to not have to consciously do it...

Breathing is kind of like that too

At least, that’s what Lockwood thinks when he’s sure he’s suffocating. 

His heart thrums so roughly against his chest he’s sure it’ll burst. He wonders who’d find him, huddled in the corner of the library. Cold and lifeless. He must be trembling, it feels as though the whole ground is vibrating, or-sinking. Swallowing him entirely. 

Then there was the pounding. His head, yes. There’s a dull throbbing at the base of his skull. But this is different. A rhythmic thumping approaching. Closing in on him, eager to push him into the sinking floor to meet his imminent demise. 

You’re in the kitchen. Leaning over the sink, eyes trained on the tap filling up your glass. The bed feels empty without him. And sure, you’d probably sent a clear ‘fuck off to the couch’ message with your latest conversation...But it hadn’t made falling asleep without him any easier. 

You’re taking a deep breath in, preparing for a right pitiful sigh when you hear it. Some sort of squeaking. Your head cocks to the side, discarding the glass in search of its origin. Surely one of the sources wasn’t acting up, that’d be right terrifying when you’re alone. It leads you toward the study, louder and more frequent as you draw closer. 

It’s when you cross the threshold do you see him. Tall frame curled into the corner as hiccuped gasps rack his frame. 

He scoots impossibly closer to the wall as you approach. Dropping to your knees and lifting his face to study him. A foreign sheen of panic clouds over his eyes, sending your stomach turning. 

“Anthony, it’s me. I’m here, I’m right here.” 

You’ve coached him through as many panic attacks as he’s allowed throughout the years. The first time, in academy, you were sure he was choking. A plate of biscuits strewn over the floor as he gasped for breath. 

They’re unpredictable, no matter how many times you’ve handled them. He needs something different almost every time to snap him out of it. Though it’s mostly physical touch. 

“C-cant breathe.” Your boot thumps as you draw closer, eliciting another wince from him. Clutching into the fabric of his shirt as if trying to pull it free. You undo his tie and the first couple buttons, grabbing at the sides of his face in a desperate attempt to get him to focus on you. 

“Anthony please, listen to me. I’m going to try something. If you don’t like it you just push at me, alright?” A curt, gasping nod in understanding before you’re enveloping him in an embrace. Squeezing so tight you can feel his panicked heart thrumming against your chest. It makes you want to cry and scream and hold him even tighter. Willing his pain away with all of your might. 

It’s not working this time ‘round. He can’t seem to collect himself despite your efforts. You pull away, fearing your persistence will only send him further spiraling. But he’s tugging you to him again. Arms tight around your waist as he buries himself into your neck. 

“Dont. D-don’t go. Don’t leave.” The usual cool and collected tone is manipulated to something unrecognizable. Rasped and unsure. 

It’s then you remember the look in his eyes when you’d dismissed him. The abandonment he’s feared his entire life. The little boy who forced himself to stay awake all those lonely nights, just in case he heard the lock turn and the front door open to bring them home. His adamant refusal to ignore your connection for years in lieu of protecting his broken heart. 

“Hey, look at me.” You’re pulling him back by the sides of his hide, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Lockwood, I’m not going anywhere. Doesn’t matter how angry I am,” you wince when he hiccups a sob. “Doesn’t matter how much you try to push me away.” He shakes his head, something short of a disbelieving chuckle passing his trembling lips. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here. With you, always. You understand?” He manages to nod, an inkling of solace flashing across his form.

“Just breathe, Anthony. In…and hold…and out” 

Your words sound a mantra in his mind. Your scent flooding his senses, skin on his bringing him back to reality. A morsel of relief prodding its way in as you caress the sides of his face and up into his hair. 

“I’m sorry.” He swallows, focusing on formulating the words. “I know I haven’t said it. Never say it enough.” Shaky arms wrap tighter around your waist, keeping you close. Afraid you’ll disappear despite your affirmations. 

“Consider yourself forgiven.” You bite back a smile when the tension unknowingly spills out of his body. Frame drooping with undoubted relief at the simple words. “I love you. Even when you’re a right prick.” 

“I know.” He pulls you so you’re between his legs. Your back against his bent appendage and your own pair over his other outstretched one. Right side of your body pressing against his chest. You try to push away, unable to fight his affections off despite his weakened state. 

“See? Right prick, you are.” 

“Shush. You know bloody well I love you.” He presses a kiss to your temple, smoothing over your hair and gaging your reaction. Still catching his breath from before. “I know I don’t say that enough either.” He’s quiet then, brown eyes looking to yours with such sincerity your breath catches in your throat. “I’d do anything for you, you know that.” 

“That’s sort of what I’m afraid of, if you don’t recall.” You’re both solemn then. Your fingers intertwining with his in a familiar dance. He can only hum, swallowing thickly. 

“What if,” his eyes rake your frame. Studying you again. “What if you came along the next assignment?” You light up at that, searching his features for jest. 

“Really?”

“Just outside. Making sure we’re all alright. And I don’t go off getting myself killed.”

“But-” 

“Dove.” The nobility in his tone finds him again. A subtle warning. “This is me. Anthony Lockwood, attempting a compromise.” You bite back an abashed smile at his raised brows, urging surrender. 

“Noted.” You fiddle with the cool, silver ring adorning his index finger. “I get to select the case, then.”

“Alright.” 

“And I get to intervene if things go South.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“Figured that was ambitious.” 

<Masterlist>

[catgirledteach]

i cannot even express how much this season has meant to me. all jokes aside i have genuinely been reaching a critical period of self acceptance and reconciliation with a lot of past shame and guilt, primarily through therapy that i am so lucky to have had. i genuinely believe it may have saved my life. and at my session earlier today i finally told my therapist about mentopolis and how much it's helped me conceptualize what ive experienced and how my brain deals with it and how much control i may or may not have over that. and it came up because we were talking about exactly this - a pattern my mind is used to of protecting itself through not acknowledging certain parts of itself. of shame and guilt - while not being pleasant thoughts and feelings - still being a necessary part of yourself. they are what your conscience may use to uphold your moral values, to tell yourself that you feel shame at your actions is because you as a person believe in doing the right thing

mentopolis has been impressive in so many ways to me, but probably no way more so than its incredible examination of the mind in a way that is both scientifically objective and factual and yet still so nuanced and fluid and human. it absolutely blew me away and has affected me in ways that i will probably carry for the rest of my life for the better. absolutely incredible

[nalyra-dreaming]

https://www.tumblr.com/nalyra-dreaming/766550532732092416/hi-nalyra-i-hope-youre-well-ive-been-rereading

Same anon.

Absolutely agreed, especially since they really can’t go back without making a mess. They shot the arrow, now they can’t tear it away without bringing the flesh with them.

Personally I think that, as you said, we could have vampires who directly drank from Akasha (the twins, Marius, Akasha’s fledgling) blackout and have violent outbursts they have memory of but felt like they couldn’t control themselves. I was rewatching one of my favorite childhood shows where one arc had a character become very vicious to their love interest and pick another woman because of a love enchantment. Once freed, he tells their love interest that it felt like his mouth spoke and his limbs acted but he wasn’t leading himself, as if he was strapped to the control chair. And I think it’s a metaphor they could use for the ““violent”” vampires too. Having this happen in flashbacks could help too.

Ultimately they’ll have to introduce Amel and, I think, they could have him face Louis for a moment during a fight and have a little moment where he says something along the lines of “I know these eyes. Ah yes, a century ago, I remember you. Dropping you was exquisite to do” and then have a little montage of Louis “realizing”/imagining how Lestat’s possession happened.

To avoid any abuse apologia, they could have Lestat still take ownership of the fact he started the fight and acted abusively throughout their reconciliation period until Mardi Gras. Even though the audience will know by the time Amel is introduced that Lestat acted like that out of fear and wish to protect his family, this self awareness even with Louis might be the best course of action. Everything in the sense that “I might not have been in control of myself during, but I was before and after, and I was awful to you both. Even if one thing is not my direct doing, I should’ve controlled myself”.

Besides, this arc aside, Amel being the one behind so much pain for Louis could give him a bigger role in the storyline, which book Louis didn’t have. I’d love to see a scene where, while Lestat is undergoing the procedure to remove Amel, Louis meets and confronts shadows or ghosts from their past. Maybe Magnus’ ghost, with Lestat’s face plastered on himself, during a chess game? Maybe a demonic Claudia? Maybe ghosts of people from his and/or Lestat’s mortal lives? I’d love to see it.

Regardless, back to the main point, I really hope they’ll have a writer for this specific “it was Amel all along” arc, because we need someone who knows what to do, how to portray credibly all these things, and most of all how to not trigger #them

Mhhh, I don't think they'll use Amel for a lot of that, tbh.

And remember, the "abusive" coloring, while certainly true in parts (and Louis downplayed them being threatened to lay it out as abusive paranoia!) is part of the tale - the "had" to kill Lestat. Something Louis himself sees as "debatable"later. If you know Merrick...

But I digress. Amel won't be part of that coloring. Nor the drop. They established that. It's done. It will have other, different reasons.

No, Amel will be only the part outside I think, where Lestat was so... different. And that will go over badly enough, as I talked about before (and to repeat, I'm not particularly happy about it).

Also, as a note, and not to take away from the fight, but it's Louis who flies at Lestat and kindles it between them. Because of Lestat going at Claudia, yes, and I'm not saying that's wrong as an action of Louis, but Lestat does not attack Louis and start the fight between them.

As per "#them"... I don't care anymore. They will be offended by anything that will happen there. They are offended by DM being popular (it's a DECADES old ship but facts mean little these days), they are offended by people liking Lestat, they are offended at this show being about nuance and terrible people all around. It's all the same song, all the time, with little regards to facts, the shifting narrative, or what the show actually tries to say. They can stay on their little song, and maybe it'll make them happy. But I doubt it.