#and then having to reconciliate that your actions and your /self/ are still you but different

[maeryuu]

As someone with issues recognizing my self, listening to the whole SELF-iSH album it's a religious experience.

[tarotwithdanise]

THE BLESSING THAT IS COMING ON YOUR WAY IN THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

reader's note: you can choose more than a pile.

PILE ONE

what a very incredibly energy coming up for this pile! i think a lot of rough things have been through with you in the past weeks or months however as i sense here, you may receive an unexpected friendship with someone or a group of people that may continues to grow further until lifetime. i am not quite sure enough if this connection is about literal "love" or it's just a pure friendship however it's gonna bring so much joy and confident about you as this person or people make you feel belong, counted and loved. this is a type of new beginning relationships for some of you however it seems like there's something off about your energy here, it seems like you cannot accept this friendship instantly because you may have this trust issues because maybe there's something terrible happened from your past but i know you'll get throughout this. you may cut off relationship with someone who hold a female energy and you may considered this individual toxic or you may receive an apology from this person. the number 9 and 4 (94) is significant for this pile.

PILE TWO

what a gentle surprise for this pile people. i sense that you maybe worrying too much about your finances but i'mma here to say that you gonna find incredibly balance about your finances in the next days. i sense that you may struggle a lot about your money however you may find yourself in the position in a month or next days in a better place, well, it may not be that better as be soft and a fresh of breath an air just like a millionaire but it's enough to cover all of your basic needs. besides, you may already decided to break off your wants to start saving up more money. my spirit guides advice you to do moves and make sure to welcome abundance in your life.

PILE THREE

this may seem like it has a little aura energy of the first pile, so, if you find it attractive, you already know what to do. i sense two things here, (1) is reunion and the (2) other one is you reap what you sow. let me explain the first energy. so, this first energy coming from this pile is about reconciliation with someone, this person is somewhat from your past that lose connection with. well, it can be an ex partner or an old friend. perhaps, i don't detect any harmful energy from this reunion but a delightful moment of joy. the second energy is about collecting and reaping what you have worked hard for in the present, this seems like a feeling of self-fulfillment of accomplishing a certain milestone that you may struggle to achieve of. what blessing you may achieve in the next days, you may find it a solution to your problem. as well that you might start to express yourself through art more in the next few days.

PILE FOUR

recognition. is there any chance that you may be trying to be a star or an influencer on social media? or maybe this was all a dream and perhaps maybe a sense of me seeing that energy haha however if it's a "yes" then you will be giving an opportunity to be appreciated by some people. you may be attracting a lot of people especially suitors but be careful because not all of them have good intentions towards you. i also see here that you may receive something special or offer from someone that will bring a smile to your face.

PILE FIVE

a huge spiritual glow is what i'm getting for this pile. there's an action here that you may be a group of spiritual groups recruiting you or if not, there's a big influence into your spiritual gift that may heal or if not, then it can help people in some way by guiding and giving advice to them. you gonna feel that power in the next upcoming days and weeks, you gonna feel that the energy feels like shifting. just a reminder to take care of your body especially your because it may hurt a lot this days or for the upcoming ones. you gonna receive a strong protection from your spirit guides and angels.

PILE SIX

someone who has unsafe and destructive intentions is about to be removed into your life. this person has been eyeing you for a long time now and they're about to be cut off totally. this person is somewhat causing you harm for making you feel insecure about your physical and mental health. it can also be that this person might deceit and lied about you in the past that may cause you loss of trust towards them. so, after this person is out of your life. a new beginning is about to start, just be willing to embrace change and strive for your own personal growth. in the next weeks, you gonna find yourself mostly your mental health in it's best and steady aiming for peacefulness.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work with or without my explicit permission.

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Your upcoming revenge arc [jennifer's body theme]

Left to Right= Pile 1->Pile 3

Introduction

This is a sweet reading on how you will have your- come up- in your future life journey. Enjoy!

Pile 1

Past: Three of Pentacles

This card suggests a period of collaboration and hard work. You've been dedicated to your craft, honing your skills, and working well with others to achieve a common goal. You might have had challenges with regards to career developments. Maybe it is something out of your control that caused this. You have been undermined regarding your skills because of this.

Present: Knight of Pentacles

Currently, you're in a phase of steady progress. The Knight of Pentacles represents diligence, responsibility, and persistence. You're putting in the necessary effort and staying focused on your long-term goals.

Future: The World

This card signifies completion, achievement, and fulfillment. Your efforts in career development will pay off, leading to a sense of accomplishment and the opening of new opportunities. You will feel a sense of a massive boost to your self esteem when you achieve success in this one career goal or project that you are working on. You will receive a public accolade in terms of career and you will feel confident in yourself and your skills.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Past: Ten of Swords

This card indicates a painful ending, likely a betrayal or significant emotional hurt. It represents the culmination of a difficult period, leaving you feeling wounded but also marking the end of this chapter. A specific person or people might have caused you a lot of pain and you might have felt betrayed and disrespected.

Present: The Star

In the present, The Star brings hope, healing, and renewal. You're finding inspiration and regaining your sense of self. This card suggests a time of recovery and the beginning of new possibilities. You have created a new sense of self and managed to continue to create a beautiful environment for yourself. You are magnetizing good luck right now.

Future: The World

The World represents new beginnings and adventures and the closing of a past cycle. Moving on from your past relationship will open you up to fresh experiences and opportunities. Embrace the journey ahead with a sense of optimism and curiosity. Since you are creating an end of an era in terms of your previous relationships and life, you are opening yourself up to new a timeline. This new space created for yourself is a whole 180 turn in comparison to how you were living before. Get ready!

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Past: Five of Swords

This card represents conflict and discord. You may have experienced misunderstandings or felt undermined by those close to you, leading to tension and isolation. Discord in terms of family and friends might have caused you a lot of turmoil.

Present: Two of Cups

The Two of Cups signifies harmony, partnership, and mutual understanding. You're currently in a phase of reconciliation, rebuilding trust, and strengthening your relationships with family and friends. You are learning to build relationships up while taking accountability for how you behave. You might be trying to allow people in your life to understand you better. It might not be easy currently.

Future: Ten of Cups

This card is the epitome of emotional fulfillment and harmony in relationships. Your efforts to connect deeper with loved ones will result in lasting happiness and a renewed sense of community and support. Despite things not being easy to get to that state, you would still get there as you would be making calculated communicative efforts. You will rebuild yourself and the life around you to a better level. You will receive a sense of appreciation from those around you. Your actions will be filled with purpose as well.

[elizakai]

I like thinking about their more canon adjacent dynamic (character wise)

MINI ANALYSIS TIME

Because while I love the soft interpretations, even WITH those let’s be real; that’s not how they’d act off the bat

Horror would be extremely judgmental (fair) and hate Dust for what he did. He’d despise him and probably be very passive aggressive. Making jabs and making his disdain apparent when they have to interact. I think getting a read on Dust is also difficult and would piss Horror off. Horror is unpredictable and has a sadistic streak, if he was mad or manic and had Dust in a corner he’d have no qualms about manhandling the guy. (And Dust probably wouldn’t do much to stop him.)

Meanwhile, Dusttale’s creator was asked once how Dust may feel if he met Horror, to which they said he feels bad for Horror. He likes him, sees him as someone who went through something horribly undeserved. In my mind Dust is somewhat protective of Horror.

I interpret these clashing of dynamics as Horror’s just utter disdain for this guy, and Dust’s resigned acceptance of Horror’s judgment. He’d agree with him if he were to judge himself, but I think a part of him wants Horror’s approval. He doesn’t EVER expect to get it, but Horror is….

While he’s seen hell, he’s almost a less tormented version of Dust himself. Deep down they are the same. Horror has suffered greatly, but even still hasn’t hit the deep end dust has, and I think he’d want to protect that sort of innocence he’s granted. One could think of it as him protecting a piece of himself he himself has already sacrificed. And wanting APPROVAL from him, wishing to be forgiven, craving that small piece of validation or understanding as he tries to reconcile with himself.

Horror’s formed opinion makes sense, he agrees with it, and simply wishes he disagreed, that he could have proof of himself being a FRACTION worthy of forgiveness or understanding.

The judge in both of them has both formed an opinion of the other, and they happen to differ greatly. Horror sees Dust as an abuser and Dust sees Horror as a victim.

I like to imagine that, while reluctantly thrown into the same general vicinity, Horror would grow to be more understanding (again if we are going with a PROGRESSIVE plot line) and come to understand that, yes, he wasn’t WRONG, but there is nuance to the situation. They both have a very grim understanding of what it’s like to be trapped. I think he has the capacity to understand Dust better if he was given time. His hands aren’t clean after all, and he knows what it’s like to be forced into a situation and to feel backed into a drastic decision. He knows what it’s like to lose your autonomy and to feel your mind break itself under pressure.

I think the simple fact that Dust wouldn’t TRY to change his mind or justify himself would be part of why Horror could come to understand him. He’s devestated by his actions, he is by no means a sadist.

Horror coming to understand Dust and sort of reconcile/forgive him I think would be rather BIG for Horror, especially if you factor in other situations he now has to consider. (For example, his Undyne and her drastic attempt at freeing the undergroud…) reconciling his OWN arguably cruel decisions he has made with pure intentions, when he feels there’s no other choice (like his Papyrus and tricking him into doing something so outside of his beliefs, to protect him)

It would also be healing for Dust to get that reconciliation with Horror because again…Horror’s opinion actually may MATTER.

And in the same way that Dust may see Horror as a sort of person to be protected from further harm, Horror would probably pick up on all of the VERY bad habits Dust has that (in my observation at least) are EXTREMELY similar to his own habits/past habits (isolation, obsession, deprivation, paranoia, bringing harm to self etc) and I could see him being sensitive towards those and trying to prevent it worsening (it’s a sore subject💔) Horror is shown to prioritize taking care of those he cares about, even when he’s a bit mad, and he has the capacity to grow an understanding for someone he doesn’t like initially :))

I think they have potential to be VERY good for one another, Horror (while being fucked up) encourages (and maybe forces) better habits and actually has an opinion that matters to Dust, and Dust is inclined to be VERY loyal (Horror needs someone to show him loyalty.) to anyone who cares to give him the time of day, as it’s far beyond what he’d expect, and he’s got the sympathy/protective streak towards Horror as an actual in character detail.

And from there it would be wonderful to explore their dynamic in whatever way you like to interpret it🤫💥

I could go on but I’ll stop here, if you read this all CONGRATS!!!

Share your thoughts I love it

[moviemandyy]

source: dailywencIair on twt

I think about this a lot.

How Enid puts SO MUCH effort into trying to befriend Wednesday (this scene, the snoods, attempting to shop with Wednesday for a dress) that's why their "breakup" scene hits so hard. Cause Enid HAS been trying and constantly gets shut down by Wednesday.

Enid always respects this decision of course but that doesn't mean it's not still tedious to have your (self-proclaimed) "best friend" not really make an attempt to hang out or get to know you.

That's why she's so happy when Wednesday invites her for a girls night out 🥲

So when Enid has had enough, she leaves. And Wednesday wasn't expecting this AT ALL. She just thought she'd always be there but Enid as a person is not a pushover. She knows her worth (she struggles with it but she knows at the end of the day she is worthy of good). So when she's disrespected and hurt by Wednesday's actions she'd rather get away from it than continue to let herself be hurt by her. (good on Enid for that btw 💪 know your self-worth)

Wednesday then has to sit with that realization and it genuinely hurts her. She has to deal with this loss and the consequences of her actions, and for once, "it doesn't feel good." (ep6) Which is why it's an amazing showcase that is detrimental to her character development.

To Enid's as well but moreso Wednesday for the fact, the show is about her 💀 but we do still get a really interesting moment of Enid's character development.

Enid did feel bad for what happened as she comes to understand their friendship isn't worth losing over this quarrel. Plus, she's tired of letting others defining her worth (again Enid knows she deserves better but she does struggle with it because of her mom)

So that moment where she confronts Wednesday to tell her she's no longer going to apologize for being herself is really great for her own growth :)

The "breakup" & reconciliation moment is just really pivotal in steering both girls in the right direction for their respective arcs and in intertwining the two together to really build on the foundation of their friendship…into a romance >:)) that's why we have the great makings of a slow burn hehe (and don't get me started on the hug scene 🤭)

hi, I went on a long tangent but can you tell i like wenclair and think about them a normal amount 🫶

[etz-ashashiyot]

Hi nonny,

OHHHHHHhhhhh so this is about Kahanists, Ben-Gvir, and his cadre of absolutely batshit parade of horribles.

Great news! I actually link to articles about what Kahanism is and why it has no place in decent society in my pinned About post.

I have tried to educate people about literal terrorist and terror enthusiast Itamar Ben-Gvir previously on this blog, although now is as good a time as any to link to it as a reminder.

And I have called out terrible behavior on Israel's side in the past as well. (These are just the examples I found while digging for the other links, but there's more if you look.)

Rape, sexual abuse, torture, terrorism, etc. are bad no matter who is doing it and I have never taken another position on that matter. It's fucked up when people do it in the US, it's fucked when people do it in Israel, and it's fucked up when Hamas members do it. No one gets a free pass here.

I don't actually think we disagree on that, at least.

That all said, I still refuse to judge Israeli citizens as a whole or the validity of Israel as a country based on the actions of the absolute worst members of their society. It's awful and the victims deserve real accountability and justice. This is the same standard I use for Palestinians as well. I do not think Hamas is representative of your average Palestinian citizen either*, nor do I think that their right to self-determination should be denied because of Hamas - just that a disarmed and dismantled Hamas is necessary for building a lasting and democratic Palestinian state alongside Israel. But don't take it from me.

*I'm certain someone is likely to come along and argue about the complicity of Gazan civilians in 10/7 and other earlier atrocities. I understand where that is coming from, but at the same time, I think it is also worth considering how Gazans live under Hamas' brutal authoritarian regime and have been intentionally radicalized. I think any future peace project is going to require deep educational work, deradicalization work, and Truth and Reconciliation processes for both sides in order to stick.

A final reminder that this is the best summary of my views on the conflict as a whole.

[least-carpet]

I am curious: how do you think would work realistically a jc and wwx's reconciliation? Have you any meta on them and their relationship?

I'm sorry this took a minute, anon! Work has been frankly chaotic. But I saw an anti-reconciliation post¹ and I have been roused from my post-work stupor.

Unfortunately, you asked me for something I'm incompetent at, which is plotting. (Otherwise I would have already unleashed my ningcheng fic upon the world.) What I can talk about is what I find compelling about potential reconciliation and potential scenarios.

Why do I love a post-canon reconciliation?

Apart from really liking their relationship and finding it compelling—IMO it's the heart of the narrative of the first life—what I actually enjoy about it is what it offers in terms of development for Wei Wuxian.

I read Wei Wuxian as having displaced and projected a lot of his unresolved trauma onto Jiang Cheng. I've talked a little before about my reading of Jiang Cheng as the "bad feelings" sin eater of the Yunmeng Trio—neither Jiang Yanli nor Wei Wuxian feel like they can express deep unhappiness, but Jiang Cheng is bad at hiding his, so in some way it's his job to embody the collective unhappiness of the children of that family system.

But although this makes Wei Wuxian merry and likeable, it's not actually good for anyone, or even sustainable—when he loses control, he really loses control. And his coping skills are extremely self-destructive, as we can see from the post-war downward spiral of drinking and avoidance. I also think his experiences in his childhood (losing his parents and being homeless) plus his wartime experiences gave him some kind of trauma disorder that contributes to his terrible memory, which he's turned into his primary coping mechanism (apart from alcohol). If I Simply Close My Eyes And Run Away, My Bad Feelings Can't Get Me!

But, like, repressing your feelings doesn't work forever. He's compartmentalized his whole first life to function in the second one, but that means giving up on everything and everyone he loved, including the Jiang siblings and Lotus Pier. That's incredibly tragic to me.

Sometimes I think antis are so happy to demonize Jiang Cheng in order to minimize the depth of the loss Wei Wuxian has suffered. If he never loved Jiang Cheng, if they were never close and devoted to one another, if their childhood was an unending misery, then wouldn't Wei Wuxian be much freer in the present?

But what I think has happened is that the loss is so huge that it's completely terrifying and threatening. So are the feelings around killing Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli's death, and the death of Wen Qing and the Wen remnants. It's too much, so he blocks it out or, in some cases, projects it onto Jiang Cheng.

Of course, Jiang Cheng will never forgive him, because he irreparably ruined Jiang Yanli's life and then she died trying to save him and Jin Ling became an orphan. It's all his fault; it can't be forgiven; he might as well give up on it...

Jiang Cheng is obviously very angry and upset with him, it's true. But you can see how projecting his guilt and shame over his actions onto Jiang Cheng and then running away from Jiang Cheng is also a way for him to escape his guilt and shame over what happened to Jiang Yanli. (And to escape all the repressed resentment he has for Jiang Cheng because of the core transfer.²)

But there are two tragic elements of this approach. One, that by doing this he yields up any possible relationship with Jiang Cheng, and with the Jiang Sect, because by all means Wei Wuxian must escape him in order to outrun his terrible feelings. Two, that it's another coping mechanism that distorts the reality of the situation, which is that they were all swept up in power games beyond their capacity to manage, and they did their best—the Jiang siblings, the Wen siblings, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian—and it still went badly for everyone except the Jin Sect.

I don't think he can confront that yet. But I do think that Wei Wuxian feels very safe with Lan Wangji, and sometimes a safe and supportive relationship can provide the resources to do things you didn't think you could do before.

Can you imagine a different conversation, that begins with the bald acknowledgement of failure and wrongdoing³? "I never meant for all of that to happen. I did what I thought was right, but I never thought Jiang Yanli would be harmed, and I didn't intend to kill Jin Zixuan. I am so sorry. I miss her."

GIVE THE CATHARSIS TO ME. GIVE IT HERE.

A Wei Wuxian who has reached a point where he's capable of that accountability and vulnerability is delicious to me. A Wei Wuxian who can get there can return to Lotus Pier and rebuild a relationship with the living sect and his living sect brother.

How could it happen?

The trick is how to get there, 'cause it's like trying to herd cats where one cat is mortally afraid of facing the second and the other one has betrayal trauma and abandonment issues. But the cats love each other! They do!

I don't see Jiang Cheng initiating. I see him as being more open to a reconciliation, now that he knows why Wei Wuxian did what he did, but I see him as being profoundly afraid of trapping people in relationship with him or inflicting himself on people who don't want him around. (Not, like, for politics. In that arena I assume he's unpleasant when necessary to great effect.)

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian can be led if you're cunning enough to do it and you bait the trap with something good (see the plot of MDZS for Nie Huaisang's very successful demonstration of this principle). He also will increase pursuit if you dangle and withdraw the bait.

The question, of course, is what makes good bait for catching Wei Wuxian. Some options:

Option 1: murder mystery. Someone dies in an exciting way that involves Jiang Cheng. (Wei Wuxian will involve himself, dude loves a murder mystery.) It could be in the Jiang Sect or the Jin Sect; if it involves Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng will jump in with a swiftness.

Option 2: Jiang Cheng marriage rumours. Doesn't even have to involve unsavoury rumous about the potential wife; Jiang Cheng getting married without him (like Jiang Yanli) would dredge up some feelings, I think.

Option 3: Jiang Cheng tragic illness or curse rumours. You better be sure it was in a past life, cause it looks like this one might be over soon!

Option 4: Forced together time (due to a night hunt or a kidnapping, etc.). It's time for the getting along shirt!

To borrow from SVSSS, you might need a scenario-pusher for it to happen. But the world of MDZS is rife with these opportunities, and cultivators can live a very long time. So there's hope yet!

Footnotes:

1. This is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint to come to by the end of the novel. It's simply one I don't share.

2. See this passage from the confrontation in the Guanyin Temple:

"It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng … But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense.

From the bottom of his heart, he knew he wasn’t so indifferent about it after all.

Was it really that easy to move on from such a thing?

Of course not." (Chapter 103, "Hatred," ExR translation)

3. I saw a different post complaining about Wei Wuxian apologizing to Jiang Cheng in reconciliation scenarios, and I just, like, he kicked off a political firestorm that ended in the death of Jiang Yanli and her husband. This is completely separate from the non-consensual surgery and all the lying he was doing about that. He owes him multiple different apologies! And Jiang Cheng should also apologize to him! That's why they apologize to each other in the Temple, because they know they hurt each other! The point of an apology in an intimate relationship is to connect with the person you are apologizing to in order to repair the relationship, and the Temple was not the time, which is why they need a private do-over! It's not humiliation, it's intimacy, connection, and repair. How do y'all live your lives.

3.5 Also, imagine it to be more in-character than that.

[ncfan-1]

Am I weird for thinking that the moment when Sol sealed his own fate wasn’t when he continued to make excuses for himself even to Osha, but at a much earlier moment in Episode 8? “You’re not even sisters.”

Sol’s attempt to convince Mae that she and Osha aren’t even sisters is, in context, the most heartlessly cruel thing anyone does this season. Mae has lost everything—in large part because of Sol. The only thing she has left is her bond and her kinship with her sister. Her bond with Osha is basically non-existent at that point in the episode—in part because of Mae’s own actions as a child, but due in larger part to the lie Sol has spent the last sixteen years hiding behind. Her kinship with her sister is all Mae has left, and now Sol wants to take this from her, too? To leave her with absolutely nothing at all? To say to her “You have no claim on her love. You’re not connected.”

It feels like… Sol very much regards both Osha and Mae as his, though only Osha is ever afforded the gentler, more positive parts of him, with Mae left to bear the brunt of his worst traits, especially at the end as he’s completely unraveling. And now he’s desperately trying to gain and regain complete control over both of them, and it feels like he’s hit on the idea, whether consciously or not, that it might be easier to control them if he breaks the final bond between them, if he plays divide and conquer and leaves the more unruly of his “children” with nothing at all she can hold dear.

And down on Brendok, after he’s seen the desolate ruin he left Mae to struggle to survive in all by herself, Sol could have had a turnaround, Sol could have relented and actually taken accountability for what he did when confronted with the place and possibly having some memories jarred loose of the way things actually were, but he doesn’t. He just doubles down. He has the absolute gall to tell Mae that she and Osha aren’t even sisters again.

Thankfully, Mae seems to regard this argument with all the contempt it deserves, but that doesn’t make it better. How do you look a woman whose life you destroyed when she was just a little girl dead in the eye, not once, but twice, and even in the ruins of her home standing in the exact spot where you killed her mother right in front of her, try to take the only thing she has left away from her and grind it into dust?

…Because you’re so deep in denial that you genuinely have no conception of how vile what you’re saying to her actually is.

Not that that this makes it better. If anything, it makes it worse. Sol has one moment of something approaching clarity—the way he struggles to say aloud that yes, he did kill Osha and Mae’s mother, the way his denial breaks into self-loathing, the way this is the only moment in the whole episode where he looks at Mae like she’s anything other than a problem to be gotten under control. But it’s not enough to save him. Really taking accountability could maybe have saved him, but it’s only a moment, and the moment he realizes Osha was in earshot, he sinks right back down into denial.

But he still tries to deny Osha and Mae’s sisterhood. And that is something so heartlessly cruel that I think it is what seals his fate. Because you don’t come back from that. Particularly not if you are so deep in denial that you refuse to even acknowledge how cruel it is. If you never admit that what you’re doing is wrong, you can never feel proper remorse. If you don’t feel proper remorse, you can’t tell that you’re digging your grave. You just seal your own fate without even realizing what you’re doing.

For more than one reason. On a metatextual level, Osha and Mae are the main characters of this show. Their relationship and their past is the crux of this show. Sol seals his own fate by trying to deny Osha and Mae’s sisterhood because, well, they are the main characters. The story is hurtling towards their reunion and reconciliation when Osha learns the truth. And he has positioned himself as someone trying to keep them apart and break the bond between them even at the very last. In a story where the goal is for the sisters to finally understand each other and properly love each other again, a man who is trying to keep them apart and trying to deny that they even are sisters… has just made himself into the final boss. He’s made himself into something that has to be vanquished for Osha and Mae to have any resolution.

And you want him to be vanquished. Because by the time Mae was out of the restraints and shocking Sol with Pip, I was hissing something pretty familiar at my screen: Stop talking.

[bblovetarot]

{୭} What do you need to release?

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄paid readings . ༄

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

Pile 1, it seems like you've been caught up in overthinking a recent relationship that ended, questioning the reasons behind it and reflecting on patterns in your love life. The recurring theme of meeting similar types of people and relationships not lasting has caused you anxiety, potentially affecting your sleep schedule. Some of you may be asking, "Why do I always attract the same kind of relationships, and why don't they last?" The universe is urging you to step out of your head and ground yourself. For some, you may already have answers, while others might still be seeking clarity. Balancing feminine (heart) and masculine (mind) energies is crucial for clear thinking. Meditation, journaling, reading, music, dance, and yoga are all ways to ground yourself. Finding what resonates best for you is important. For many in Pile 1, a spiritual awakening has occurred, particularly related to relationships. A mother wound may have impacted your relationships, leading to an insecure attachment style. For those unfamiliar with attachment styles, researching this aspect can provide valuable insights into your behaviors and patterns. This moment is transformational for you, Pile 1. While it may feel daunting, remember that the universe supports you. Seeking the guidance of a therapist could be beneficial if you feel overwhelmed. Releasing the fear you've been holding onto is a crucial step, and for many of you, it seems like you've already begun this process. As you release fear, an important decision awaits you. This decision has the potential to lead to more committed and fulfilling relationships, especially if that's what you desire. In a broader sense, this decision will positively impact your long-term future. To make clear-headed decisions, finding balance within yourself is essential. If you're seeking change, trust in the process, be patient, and believe in yourself and the support of the universe.

Pile 2

Pile 2, it's time to release the grip you have on a past relationship or someone you still harbor feelings for. Whether you are currently separated or entertaining thoughts of reconciliation, the universe is urging you to let go of the idea that this person is a "twin flame" or "soulmate." The relationship left you feeling hurt and possibly betrayed, and you might have shed tears over it. If you've been repressing these emotions, it's essential to confront them and allow yourself to feel. Memories of this person or past relationships may resurface, and you may feel ashamed or try to push them away. However, avoidance won't release these emotions; it merely suppresses them, waiting for an opportunity to resurface. Take the time to sit with your emotions, allow yourself to feel, and if needed, give yourself permission to cry. If you've been using distractions or toxic coping mechanisms to avoid the pain, it's time to release those patterns. There's a strong emphasis on avoiding reckless behaviors in this pile. Overindulging in risky actions, overspending, or excessive self-sacrifice without proper boundaries will only lead to more despair in the long run. Spirit advises caution and encourages you to look before you leap. Reckless actions might provide temporary relief but won't contribute to long-term healing. For those still entangled in this situation, the universe prompts self-reflection. Are you being fair to yourself? Are you living in alignment with your true happiness? It's time to release old patterns and people from your life. The universe is guiding you towards a different path, and this requires a leap of faith. Trust in yourself, listen to your heart, and believe in your ability to make the right decisions. While the mind may deceive with doubts and insecurities, your heart and intuition hold the truth about what you truly deserve, want, and need in your life. Trust in your inner guidance and take the necessary leaps when the time comes. If it means leaving certain people behind, don't let that hold you back. Some individuals are not meant to follow us on our life's journey, and new connections will emerge to enrich your path.

Pile 3

Pile 3, it seems that you've been putting a considerable amount of effort into something, whether it's related to work or a relationship. However, despite your hard work, it has reached a point where things feel stagnant or unfulfilling. You might have wished for success, but now that it's here or hasn't arrived, you find yourself detached from the outcome and even apathetic. The universe is signaling that it's time to release whatever has become stagnant or stale. This release is not meant to be permanent, but rather a temporary break. The guidance is to take a step back, surrender to the situation, and refrain from making impulsive decisions. Continuing to push forward without a break might lead to burnout. There's a need for you to sacrifice the urge to take immediate action and instead focus on surrendering to the circumstances. Allow yourself to take a break and be in the energy of receiving. The universe suggests a period of rest and relaxation to rejuvenate your mind and spirit. If taking a vacation is possible, consider doing so, as it could be a healing experience. It's revealed that you've been overworking, possibly influenced by competition or external pressures, which has led to feelings of depression and a lack of motivation. Now that this phase has passed, surrendering and giving yourself the space to rest will allow the chaos in your mind to subside. By embracing the energy of receiving, you'll find yourself in a better place. It's time to raise the white flag, take a break, and let yourself receive the positive energy and opportunities that are coming your way.

[thestupidhelmet]

gaslighting

1 : psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.

compassion

: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Both definitions from Merriam-Webster.com

---

Unfortunately, we can control only what we say or do, not how another person interprets our words and actions. It will be the same with this post, which I'm very sorry I have to make.

For the first time in my fourteen years in the T7S fandom, someone blocked me. I understand why. No one should feel unsafe in a fandom space. Despite my best efforts at reconciliation, including patience, compassion, and asking how I could better support this person, I received back personal attacks and accusations. Even then, I responded only with support and compassion.

Yeah, I have the conversation still in my messages. I've read it over many times to see where I might have misstepped. But what's there is my openness to the other person's grievances, my willingness to learn and grow from my mistakes, my apologies for the inciting incident that angered the person.

The responses I received were ever-growing anger and personal attacks. Nothing I could say could allay what the person felt. Reconciliation takes both parties working toward it.

My mistake, I realize, is the inciting incident. The person made a public post about a ship. I might have misread which ship it was. I replied, not a reblog, about how I wish the ship (Leia/Gwen) were romantically canon in T9S, but like Fez/Kelso on T7S, they have a canonically intimate but platonic relationship. That's the totality of what I wrote.

Then the private messaging began, by me, because I saw the person's unhappiness with my reply. I had wanted, in that same post, to write a reconciliatory response. I was blocked from doing so.

I know from previous private conversations with this person that they don't want anyone with differing opinions commenting on their posts. I've only ever offered this person advice when asked, an ear to listen, and obliged when requested to send them public asks about characters and ships. I should have refrained from commenting on their public post. That was my mistake. I'd hoped to have a fun fandom conversation.

Those of you here who know me, know me. This post isn't written for you but to address the public accusations the other person made about me. I'm a very private person, and I prefer to keep private interactions private. Our fandom has had enough drama the last few months, and I'm sad that the decayed dynamic between the other person and me has added to it.

I operate from a place of compassion. I'm also human and make mistakes in judgement. As I said to the other person privately, I'll say it publicly (as I believe this post will be read by that person through whatever means): I'm sincerely sorry that my comment on your public post angered you.

I try my best never to hurt anyone, especially not intentionally. I hate causing other people pain, and I hope that blocking me will help you feel safer and better. Sadly, my attempts to do so myself failed spectacularly and only upset you further. 😕

[ladypiscesmoon]

Update Matt Bomer & Jonathan Bailey

Tumblr allows only 10 pictures at the time, that’s why there are none of the last two asks.

*reading is alleged/for entertainment purposes

Fairytale Lenormand:

Ring, letter, birds, fox, lilies, rider

Thoughts: conversations, communication, Written conversations, suspicion about a conversation, communication for selfish means, passionate conversations, conversations about sex, open communication, making promises, contract

The love angels oracle deck: redirect your thoughts, actions speak louder than words, open your eyes, reconciliation, engagement, have faith

situation love deck: coffin, soulmates, teddy bear, paradise

The romance angels oracle cards,: trust, heart to heart conversations, worth waiting for, children, calling your soulmate, stay optimistic about your love life

Love oracle cards island time wellness: seduction, the dragonfly, the golden mirror, the snake, ascending

the hermit tarot: now is not the time, there is someone else, I never imagined perfection, I have so much desire for you, you make my heart full, maybe

They seem to be a lot in contact, texting, ringing, being open and vulnerable with each other. I think Matt's not too careful at the moment, so his husband may suspect something is the matter.

They seem very committed to each other, both of them feel like they have never felt anything like this before. It's difficult for Matt, but he knows his marriage no longer exists. He feels like it has run it course and he wants out. He hesitates because of his family, especially because of his children. But he's very unhappy. He feels like a snake (sneaky) talking to Jonathan sneakily. But he doesn't want to stop.

Everything with Jonathan feels right. Again, I pulled soulmates, twice with different decks. they are willing to wait for each other, Jonathan especially gives Matt space and time to come to terms with his conflicting feelings.

So, summarizing, they still have very strong feelings, are actually in a lot of contact with each other. Matt feels conflicted still, but knows he has to make a decision. They will have a wonderful relationship when Matt comes to terms with his situation and walks away.

Questions:

Are they emotionally and physically compatible? A: 6 of wands, ace of swords, five of swords reversed. Wellness oracle: separation, passion. Yes they are, they would have a very good and peaceful yet a passionate relationship. It's just complicated by the circumstances of Matt not being a free man.

Are they sexually attracted to each other? Will they end up together in a relationship? A: Yes, they are. I have pulled for their sexual attraction in this reading. They will end up together when they figure everything out and Matt is honest with his husband.

Are they in love? A: Abundance, blowing kiss, five of cups reversed. Yes, they are very much. But for Matt there are still a lot of obstacles and fear of leaving something familiar. Also grief of letting it go.

Does Matt's husband know? A: seduction, shock, the butterfly, self-indulgence, coffee cup. I think he suspects something. Matt's distracted and stand-offish. His husband tries to be nice, but Matt feels trapped.

Is Jonathan dating or sleeping with anyone? A: the star reversed, 3 of swords reversed, 8 of cups. Not at the moment, no. He's really in love, hoping they'll work it out. Trying to have faith Matt will choose him and leave his bad relationship behind.

How long will Jonathan wait for Matt? A: I pulled a time card, but as ever: don't put to much faith in it, energy changes all the time. So, it's hard to predict. Temperance, justice: As long as he and Matt are in a good place, he will have hope. He knows Matt just needs some time.

What kind of connection and love do Matt and Jonathan have? A: They are soulmates. I have pulled a soulmate card in every reading I did for them. Twice, this time. They have never felt anything like this before.

Will they act together again onscreen in another project? A: two of cups, the tower reversed, the hierophant reversed. They would love to and in future they might. Or come together in a different project, not necessarily acting together. Could also be something close to their heart, like a charity.

Will Jonathan win an Emmy for Fellow Travelers in this coming September? A: 6 of wands, 5 of wands. 6 of wands indicates triumph, 5 of wands competition. So, it's unclear. I can check again closer to the date, but you'll have to remind me.

[jj-5656]

Compromise  With; Anthony Lockwood

A/N: An anon requested angst, and who would I be not to deliver? This one took a while, apologies for the wait. Thank you so much for all the recent love, it means so much. I hope you enjoy.

TW: Descriptions of injury, arguing, suicidal ideation(?), Lockwood being a self-absorbed prick :)

Summary: The one where you and Anthony are at odds, and there seems to be little room for reconciliation. 

Taglist: @sunshineangel-reads @fox-bee926 @helpmelmao @galactidiot  @soupsaurus @nekee-lilac02​ (Tagged ppl who seemed to like my last story, lmk if you want to be removed <3)

       Lockwood isn’t accustomed to your anger. 

Well...That’s not entirely true. You have a bit of a short fuse, sometimes. Accustomed to your occasional irritance, sure. He fancies teasing you, pushing your buttons for the sake of admiring the way your nose scrunches up, how you huff that ever-stubborn strand of hair from your vision. 

This, though. Whatever this is, it’s different. You’re practically seething as you search around the lamp-lit kitchen. Booming thunder and relentless London rain the only noise accompanying your movement. That and the boot shackled around your left foot, which thumps pitifully as you rummage the first aid kit. He feels like a disobedient child sat in the headmistress’ office. Ragged hair still damp from the rain after a grueling mission. One that’s left a nasty gash across his forearm, having been forced into a picture frame in the midst of fighting a vengeful type two. 

George and Lucy had long gone off to bed. A brisk debrief over a final cup of tea before slugging off to their respective bedrooms. Luckily, your bastard of a boyfriend had suffered the only injury. You’d missed all the action considering your current state, though that hadn’t ceased the fierce beating of your heart as you slumped into the seat in front him. Drawing the oil lamp nearer for better light as you motion for his arm. He obeys immediately, silently, face pulled with the kind of tension only present when he’s really worried. 

Good. You honestly hope he’s terrified. Serves him right. Your tense mood is not only due to his ailment, but the lingering frustration from your argument earlier in the evening. 

**************

“Absolutely not. You’re not coming along on any missions ‘til that boot is off.” 

“Anthony, I’ll be alright. I’ve been getting around the house just fine so far!” “You shouldn’t even be on it as much as have been.” He’s got the audacity to scoff, almost amused. “More stress will only make the healing process longer.” You cross your arms, looking toward your bag-clad friends for support. 

“We should check on the cab.” Lucy offers a tight-lipped smile as George nods, ushering her out the front door before you can direct your anger toward them.

“You said yourself this case is going to be especially touch sensitive. That the client reported how evasive the problem was. Sight and sound won’t be as useful.” 

“Precisely. Perfect that George is coming along, yes?” Your eyes narrow at his condescension, you’d grown tired of his babying ever since your incident two cases ago. It felt like ages since you’d been in the field. 

“George will be too preoccupied with all the evidence! I won’t even go further than a few feet from the threshold. Just let me get a feel of things so I can-” 

“I said no, y/n. It’s final.” 

“Says who?”

“Says the leader of this company.” You choke a laugh, tossing your bag onto the floor with a heavy thud. 

“Right, yes. The one who makes all the calls?” 

“Sounds about right.” His brown eyes narrow in challenge, frustrated you’re failing to understand he’s only trying to keep you safe. 

“Same one who made the call we go into the Hope residence without well-rounded research? The case we rushed into without enough information and it ended with me on house arrest?” It’s a low blow, undoubtedly. A twinge of wounded guilt flashes across his face before the venom seeps back in. Lump in his throat burning horribly before he swallows it to dissipation. 

“Same one who knows if things go South this time ‘round you’ll only slow us down.” Your stomach twists with the distaste in his tone, vision blurring with tears as he turns toward the door. Jumping as it slams shut and takes him with it. 

********

“Won’t need stitches.” You note simply, surveying the wound gently. He nods, shoulders straightening in preparation for the oncoming pain. “Still some glass debris, I’ll have to take it out.” He’s lucky, from what it looks like the gash could have been much worse. 

“I can manage it just fine on my own.” You bite your tongue. In the year’s biggest plot twist, Anthony Lockwood insists on suffering alone in lieu of his own pride. 

“You can’t. You’re not risking any more damage to the arm that wields your rapier. Just let me.” He doesn’t listen, of course. Pinching the tweezers in his grasp and looming forward to get a better look. Dizzying at the sight, he’s not strong enough to prohibit you from taking them back. Pushing at his shoulder so he’ll relax against the chair. 

It’s not your typical bedside manner. Usually when injuries happen its gentle touches and muttered sorries or other affections. Soft and kind. 

The intruding thought pulls Lockwood’s frown deeper. The throbbing in his arm practically minuscule to the war zone in his mind. It’s awful...He misses you and yet you’re a mere foot away. 

His fist clenches as the tweezers near his skin once more, hand taking hold of your wist to cease the uncontrollably trembling of your appendage.

“Love-”

“Shush, I can do it.” You take a deep breath. Wordlessly combatting your conflicting emotions with slow, calculated inhales. You’re an agent. You’ve trained for this. Though the textbooks help little with the patching up tactics when it’s someone you love, when you’re at such odds.

You approach again, steady this time. He sucks his teeth at the particularly intricate extractions, but remains still for you. You move with as much efficiency as possible. Trying to remove the person from the wound, just as the books suggest. Though it’s nearing impossible with his eyes trained on you. Trying to steal every thought from your mind as if they’re his own. 

When you’re applying sterile gauze after thorough disinfection, he finds the courage to speak. 

“Thank you.” He clears his throat after it falters...From emotion or lack of use, you aren’t sure. Doesn’t matter, honestly. You’re still keen on grilling him. 

“George said you followed it up the stairs without telling him and Luce.”

“I was in a hurry. Wouldn’t have found its’ source in time if I hadn't.” You don't event try to conceal the roll of your eyes. Anger sinking back in as you collect the wrappers on the table and toss them into the bin. 

“So you’re allowed to be reckless on the job as long as nobody else is?”

“Reckless. I’d argue, is an exaggeration.” 

“Exaggeration? Christ, you’re impossible.”

“Yeah?” He stands as you do, holding his wounded arm to his stomach as he leans against the counter. “How’s that?”

“You’re fine with breaking protocol so long as you’re the one doing it. Putting yourself at risk any chance you get without a second thought. It’s maddening!” 

“And how do you suppose you got yourself in that boot?”

“Not by beckoning death! Mine was an accident, Anthony. I swear, sometimes it’s like you want to get yourself killed!”

“You don’t-”

“No! I’m not finished.” You step toward him, jabbing a finger into his chest to accentuate your wrath. “You have people depending on you. People that care about you, love you to bits. And you’d rather spend the better half of missions taunting death than preventing it. If you wanted to be so fucking careless, you shouldn’t have made me fall in love with you. Now here we are, both vexed and in varying casts because of you can’t seem to understand the sanctity of your own life.”

He knew that much had been true. Lockwood would risk just about anything in a case so long as it granted him victory. Hadn’t that been in the fine print, though? Guaranteed in this line of work? So long as you were granted this talent, this curse, you had a responsibility to utilize it to the best of its ability.

“Sweetheart.” It’s strained, nearly a beg with the amount of exhaustion ridden in his tone. “We can continue this tomorrow. Let’s go to bed, please.”

“I can’t,” his knuckles go white with their grip on the cold countertop as you hurriedly wipe at your eyes. “I can’t go to bed angry with you.” 

“Then don’t.” He takes one, two careful strides toward you. Fingers pinching at your elbow in an attempt to satisfy the burning need to hold you. “Let’s forgive each other for the next seven hours. Then you can go on hating me, okay?” You huff a laugh, forehead instinctively pressing to his chest. He bathes in it as long as you’ll allow, pulling back seconds later and headed toward your room with him in tow.

********

Anthony’s eyes follow your frame as you approach the stove. Taking the cup of tea he’s prepared for you and taking your usual seat between him and George. He pushes your chair out with his foot to allow you easier access, nudging a plate of buttered toast your way. It’s not an apology, not even an olive branch. Lockwood simply refuses to cease these small acts of service no matter how angry you are with one another. It’s practically instinctual at this point, second nature. His brows furrow when you let out a relieved exhale once sat. Joining along your accomplices’ conversation about your ongoing case he’s drowned out momentarily in order to observe you.

“It hurts, doesn't it,” he unknowingly interrupts George’s spiel, “your foot.” 

“Only a bit. Just this morning.” It’s a meek defense. An evident dismissal so as not to prove his bench-warming call the right one. 

“You’ve been on it too much.” 

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” 

“You’re not. And if you had just listened-”

“Are we really starting this up again, right here?” Your eyes bore daggers into his frame. Doing your best to conceal your rage in leui of your dear bystanders beside you. Theres a few beats of silence, a moment of peace before the sorry fuck plates the nail in the coffin.

 “George, any word of upcoming cases? The sooner we leave for the day, the better.” Your chair scrapes against the hardwood as soon as he’s finished, silverware trembling as you force yourself upward. 

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” It’s practically a whisper, ridden with rage and overwhelming upset. His brown eyes meet yours, cold and distant. Completely unfamiliar. 

“So you like to think.” He quips, eyes following your form as you exit the kitchen twice as quick as you came in. There’s silence again, impossibly more awkward than before. 

“Dick move, Lockwood.”

“Stay out of it, Luce.”

“She’s right. Real dickish move there.” 

“George-”

“Right. Staying out of it.” 

*******

Lockwood prides himself for a lot of things. Communication, definitively, has never been one of them. 

How’s he supposed to explain it’s easier to put himself in front of the all the danger you face? That the rest of you need each other much more than you need him. 

That he’d rather die than lose someone again. 

He’s quiet as he creeps in, the usual love-lorn quip forgotten as he enters your shared bedroom. You’d been laying in bed, had been since breakfast. You weren’t usually one to sulk, but you were still in pain and definitely still angry. At your boyfriend, this damned boot, the world. 

“Word is your boyfriend’s been a right prick, lately. I’m hoping this can be my opportunity to stake my claim. If you’re cutting him out, that is.” He’s kneeling at the bedside, chin pressing into his forearms as he supports his head. You can feel his heat from here, hate how it weakens your cold resolve. His fingertip traces the skin on your back where your shirts ridden up, a ghost of a small passing his lips when you shudder. You’re pulling up the duvet, ceasing his touch while a trace of you wishes it hadn’t. 

You can’t see any hint of amusement leave his features. The dim of his eyes and the stutter of his heart. He swallows, subconsciously shuffling nearer. The need to be close growing tenfold. 

“Lovely, will you look at me?” Lockwood can’t help but cringe at how desperate it sounds. Whispered, rushed, fragile. Every indication he cares much more than he’s used to. 

He almost wishes he had’t asked. Dread consuming him when you turn to face him, tear stained cheeks and blotchy eyes. Lashes stuck together with moisture, blinking slow and strained. “Darling.” Is all he can manage, wounded and hushed. It makes you want to cry even more. 

“Why can’t you see I’m worried about you?” You croak out, voice strained and scratchy. His knuckles brush the moisture from under your eyes, brows furrowed with an expression you can’t quite read. 

“I do.” He wets his lips, “I see that.” An implication of I see you and I’m sorry. He’s never been good at apologies, but this time you need one. You need something, anything more than the breadcrumbs he drops. The urge to invite him in plagues your mind, broken expression tugging at your heart strings. You know better than to brush this one off, it’ll only have the same conflict arising again and lead to resentment. The realization reforms the burning lump in your throat, vision blurring with fresh tears. 

“I just-we need space.” Don’t we? Lockwood rears back, mustering up resolve he doesn’t have. You don’t mean indefinitely, you don’t mean a breakup, he knows that. Doesn’t make the words burn any less. 

“Okay, fine then.” If that’s what you really want.

He’s grabbing the dog-eared magazine at your bedside before you can say anything else. He hesitates at the door knob, begging to force himself to turn around and plead. Anthony Lockwood’s ego is somewhere near the sun, but its no match for how he feels about you. 

*******

You know when you suddenly become conscious of blinking? And it starts to feel a little odd, manual instead of automatic? You can almost forget what it was like to not have to consciously do it...

Breathing is kind of like that too

At least, that’s what Lockwood thinks when he’s sure he’s suffocating. 

His heart thrums so roughly against his chest he’s sure it’ll burst. He wonders who’d find him, huddled in the corner of the library. Cold and lifeless. He must be trembling, it feels as though the whole ground is vibrating, or-sinking. Swallowing him entirely. 

Then there was the pounding. His head, yes. There’s a dull throbbing at the base of his skull. But this is different. A rhythmic thumping approaching. Closing in on him, eager to push him into the sinking floor to meet his imminent demise. 

You’re in the kitchen. Leaning over the sink, eyes trained on the tap filling up your glass. The bed feels empty without him. And sure, you’d probably sent a clear ‘fuck off to the couch’ message with your latest conversation...But it hadn’t made falling asleep without him any easier. 

You’re taking a deep breath in, preparing for a right pitiful sigh when you hear it. Some sort of squeaking. Your head cocks to the side, discarding the glass in search of its origin. Surely one of the sources wasn’t acting up, that’d be right terrifying when you’re alone. It leads you toward the study, louder and more frequent as you draw closer. 

It’s when you cross the threshold do you see him. Tall frame curled into the corner as hiccuped gasps rack his frame. 

He scoots impossibly closer to the wall as you approach. Dropping to your knees and lifting his face to study him. A foreign sheen of panic clouds over his eyes, sending your stomach turning. 

“Anthony, it’s me. I’m here, I’m right here.” 

You’ve coached him through as many panic attacks as he’s allowed throughout the years. The first time, in academy, you were sure he was choking. A plate of biscuits strewn over the floor as he gasped for breath. 

They’re unpredictable, no matter how many times you’ve handled them. He needs something different almost every time to snap him out of it. Though it’s mostly physical touch. 

“C-cant breathe.” Your boot thumps as you draw closer, eliciting another wince from him. Clutching into the fabric of his shirt as if trying to pull it free. You undo his tie and the first couple buttons, grabbing at the sides of his face in a desperate attempt to get him to focus on you. 

“Anthony please, listen to me. I’m going to try something. If you don’t like it you just push at me, alright?” A curt, gasping nod in understanding before you’re enveloping him in an embrace. Squeezing so tight you can feel his panicked heart thrumming against your chest. It makes you want to cry and scream and hold him even tighter. Willing his pain away with all of your might. 

It’s not working this time ‘round. He can’t seem to collect himself despite your efforts. You pull away, fearing your persistence will only send him further spiraling. But he’s tugging you to him again. Arms tight around your waist as he buries himself into your neck. 

“Dont. D-don’t go. Don’t leave.” The usual cool and collected tone is manipulated to something unrecognizable. Rasped and unsure. 

It’s then you remember the look in his eyes when you’d dismissed him. The abandonment he’s feared his entire life. The little boy who forced himself to stay awake all those lonely nights, just in case he heard the lock turn and the front door open to bring them home. His adamant refusal to ignore your connection for years in lieu of protecting his broken heart. 

“Hey, look at me.” You’re pulling him back by the sides of his hide, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Lockwood, I’m not going anywhere. Doesn’t matter how angry I am,” you wince when he hiccups a sob. “Doesn’t matter how much you try to push me away.” He shakes his head, something short of a disbelieving chuckle passing his trembling lips. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying right here. With you, always. You understand?” He manages to nod, an inkling of solace flashing across his form.

“Just breathe, Anthony. In…and hold…and out” 

Your words sound a mantra in his mind. Your scent flooding his senses, skin on his bringing him back to reality. A morsel of relief prodding its way in as you caress the sides of his face and up into his hair. 

“I’m sorry.” He swallows, focusing on formulating the words. “I know I haven’t said it. Never say it enough.” Shaky arms wrap tighter around your waist, keeping you close. Afraid you’ll disappear despite your affirmations. 

“Consider yourself forgiven.” You bite back a smile when the tension unknowingly spills out of his body. Frame drooping with undoubted relief at the simple words. “I love you. Even when you’re a right prick.” 

“I know.” He pulls you so you’re between his legs. Your back against his bent appendage and your own pair over his other outstretched one. Right side of your body pressing against his chest. You try to push away, unable to fight his affections off despite his weakened state. 

“See? Right prick, you are.” 

“Shush. You know bloody well I love you.” He presses a kiss to your temple, smoothing over your hair and gaging your reaction. Still catching his breath from before. “I know I don’t say that enough either.” He’s quiet then, brown eyes looking to yours with such sincerity your breath catches in your throat. “I’d do anything for you, you know that.” 

“That’s sort of what I’m afraid of, if you don’t recall.” You’re both solemn then. Your fingers intertwining with his in a familiar dance. He can only hum, swallowing thickly. 

“What if,” his eyes rake your frame. Studying you again. “What if you came along the next assignment?” You light up at that, searching his features for jest. 

“Really?”

“Just outside. Making sure we’re all alright. And I don’t go off getting myself killed.”

“But-” 

“Dove.” The nobility in his tone finds him again. A subtle warning. “This is me. Anthony Lockwood, attempting a compromise.” You bite back an abashed smile at his raised brows, urging surrender. 

“Noted.” You fiddle with the cool, silver ring adorning his index finger. “I get to select the case, then.”

“Alright.” 

“And I get to intervene if things go South.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“Figured that was ambitious.” 

<Masterlist>

[catgirledteach]

i cannot even express how much this season has meant to me. all jokes aside i have genuinely been reaching a critical period of self acceptance and reconciliation with a lot of past shame and guilt, primarily through therapy that i am so lucky to have had. i genuinely believe it may have saved my life. and at my session earlier today i finally told my therapist about mentopolis and how much it's helped me conceptualize what ive experienced and how my brain deals with it and how much control i may or may not have over that. and it came up because we were talking about exactly this - a pattern my mind is used to of protecting itself through not acknowledging certain parts of itself. of shame and guilt - while not being pleasant thoughts and feelings - still being a necessary part of yourself. they are what your conscience may use to uphold your moral values, to tell yourself that you feel shame at your actions is because you as a person believe in doing the right thing

mentopolis has been impressive in so many ways to me, but probably no way more so than its incredible examination of the mind in a way that is both scientifically objective and factual and yet still so nuanced and fluid and human. it absolutely blew me away and has affected me in ways that i will probably carry for the rest of my life for the better. absolutely incredible

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. Hi! I came across your account again and here to ask if there is a completed LXCxF!OC? (Sorry if I sound like a mean person, it's just English not my first language and Idk how to ask. 😅) @lanxicenswife69​

i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, LXC/OFC, wangxian, canon divergence, isekai, transmigration, amateur cartography, butterfly effect, sunshot campaign, not everyone dies au, no golden core tranfer, dimension travel, politics, self-insert, foreknowledge, angst w happy ending)

quotev mdzs interactive ficverse series by yeeternity (T, 199k, LXC/OC, JGY/OC, JC/OC, canon divergence, self-insert, reader insert, OC sect, fix-it of sorts, angst w happy ending, sworn siblings with WWX) Also, another for 1, the first story set's the fic up, then second one is LXC's story

Taking roots after the misty rain by RoseJuneRivera (Not rated, 63k, LXC/OFC, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, rape/non-con, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, canon divergence, OCs, WWX has a sister, rebirth, pining, burial mounds, good person JGY, good parents JFM & YZY, secret rule breaker LXC, not everyone dies au, suicide attempt, murder, blood & violence, fluff & angst, WIP) I haven't read these two, but they seemed interesting and appear ongoing

Dance with you by Chilibun (T, 116k, wangxian, LXC/OFC, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, OC insert, fix-it of sorts, reincarnation, fluff & angst, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced rape/non-con, WIP) I haven't read these two, but they seemed interesting and appear ongoing

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2. hello, itmf for fics where either lwj or wwx is pregnant but they die of childbirth and we see the other mourning while still taking care of their child.

Gift of Memories by QueenXIV (G, 3k, wangxian, major character death, angst, hurt/comfort , sad, mpreg, bottom LWJ, good uncle LXC)

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3. I’m in the Mood for a Fic where WWX is really oblivious to LWJ courting him and they manage to successfully communicate and get together- I was rereading Gina3's excellent work " Impenetrable Walls " and crave a story with similar vibes and some resolution @okionlywanttoreadforever

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4. Hello, can you please recommend me loads of modern setting wangxian au with loads of fluff. I don't mind some Jiang family bashing mixed. As i am on vacations and i have nothing better to do , I feel like I am running out of wangxian fluff to read . Thank you in advance @sineofu​

🧡 Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!) by Aerlalaith (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Workplace Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Museums, living history, Some Plot, Slice of Life, Injury, a minor haunting)

I know what my heart wants by yakuso5u (Not Rated, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Father LWJ, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Accidental Child Acquisition, Domestic, Slice of Life, Christmas references) 

(Planning the Day) To Meet You by Bettydice (E, 61k, wangxian, Modern, college/university au, pining, WWX raises LSZ, LWJ pov, fluff, slow burn, getting together, falling in love, smut, happy ending)

With No Particular Affection  by Chrononautical (E, 92k, WangXian, Modern AU, Arranged Marriage, Kid  Fic, Miscommunication, Family Drama, JFM and YZY’s A+ Parenting, Good Uncle JC, Wedding Fluff, Genius WWX, Street Kid WWX, Homelessness, Rich  LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Cinnamon Roll WN, Implied/Referenced Suicide, WWX Has a Pregnancy Kink, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

paired wings soaring by typefortydeductions (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern, slice of life, domestic bliss, angst, fluff, smut, hurt/Comfort, kissing, bdsm, artist WWX, poetry translator LWJ, slight somnophilia)

Showtime by Scrippio (T, 115k, wangxian, modern, theater au, abandonment issues, fluff, director WWX, stage manager LWJ, reconciliation, pining, slice of life, happily ever after, accidental baby acquisation, light angst, one emergency surgery, but it’s fine)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj,   Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

🧡 Hello, IT. Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again? By overmountainandmeadow (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern AU, Office, Modern office AU, IT Director! LWJ, Graphic Designer! WWX, Father!LWJ, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Juniors as interns, Light Angst, Mistaken Identity, Identity Porn, Rabbits, Cloud Recesses as a company, Happy Ending, Single Parent LWJ) 

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, wangxian, modern, single parent WWX, kindergarden teacher LWJ, kid fic, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff, pining)

all the problems we could solve by Stratisphyre (T, 20k, wangxian, modern, getting together, somewhat non-linear, fluff, humor, violence, meet-cute, identity porn, thieves au)

“I will climb to where you are” or: the bunny book by ladyofrosefire, NotAFicWriter (T, 40k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, LXC & LWJ, modern, pining, fatherhood, family, long-distance relationship, semi-epistolary, giref/mourning, past food insecurity, panic attacks, past parent death, fluff)

~*~

5. hello! may i ask for story with a fat character? i'd love everything else to basically stay the same, to not really discuss it or agonize over it or anything.. i just saw a fat jyl art and thought it'd be lovely to read something similar (with anyone, though wwx may be a tad unlikely bc of starvation and such). if it's relevant, i'd love canon dynamics please!

~*~

6. hi!! thanks for all the hard work :DDD

im in the mood for wwx sharing a body with someone!! I just finished 💖 Serrated by InkSplatterM and MrMissMrsRandom (which is fantastic and I very much recommend), and ive also read ❤️The One-Body Problem by Metisket and adore that as well!

shape me something new by perilously (E, 24k, wangxian, canon divergence, sharing a body, non-penetrative sex, masturbation, horror-adjacent imagery)

The Exorcism of Lan Yuan by EHyde (T, 5k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, possession, family, horror, experimental POV, slightly dark LWJ, ghost WWX, suicidal ideation) though they might be wanting something more cheerful

~*~

7. Hi! There's this manga that I was recently reminded of because of an au fic from another fandom called Seven Days to fall in Love and I was wondering if there's an au in this fandom too? Any pairing but I do enjoy wangxian the most. Thanks 🙏

~*~

8. This is pretty general, but I’ve really been wanting to read good case fics. Multi-chaptered or longer one-shots (I.e., minimum 10k words) are preferable. I also usually prefer fics rated M or E, but am open to well-written T and G. I have no other preference in terms of canon, modern, etc. I also don’t care about who tops or bottoms (if that’s an element of the fic). Thank you so much in advance~ ☺️

of buried things series by Sanguis (E, 30k, wangxian, modern w magic, haunted houses, case fic, witches, magical realism, mild gore, pining, getting together, smut, accidental baby acquisation, tentacle sex)

❤️ Seen and not heard by eatmyass (E, 51k, wangxian, case fic, no sunshot, kid fic, dadxian, strangers to lovers, found family, LWJ pov, pining, fake/pretend relationship, first time, falling in love)  

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, All the clan leaders, Literally so many OCs, There are just lots of people, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery, The intrinsic horniness of wound tending, Yearning 2: The Electric Boogaloo) 

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal   Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX,  Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

all this, and love too by friedkiki (M, 33k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, possession, pining, body horror, getting together, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, detailed warnings in notes)

Ribbons and Heartsongs by jeyhawk (E, 36k, wangxian, fantasy au, scifi au, dimension travel, case fic, loss of virginity, marriage proposal, pining, sharing a bed, werewolf WWX)

moonlight caught in mutton fat by Raitelzen (T, 45k, WangXian, Case Fic, Curses, Curse Breaking, Transformation, mild body horror, Hurt LWJ, Ghosts)

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot   washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, …then sexual intimacy, [Podfic] build me no shrines by flamingwell)

Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, supernatural, slow burn, smut, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, BAMF LXC, bottom LWJ, top LWJ)

see you yesterday by glyphic (M, 138k, WIP, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Ghost Hunters, Time Loop, Case Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

~*~

9. im looking for fics having similar vibes/plot/wangxian dynamics as this - To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell

~*~

10. For the next itmf i was wondering if there was any fics mentioned wwxs trauma from being homeless in yiling as a kid, specifically food issues or dealing with creeps not just his fear of dogs thanks for the help!

in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, JC & WWX & JYL, WN & WWX & WQ, wangxian, JYL/JZX, JC & WQ, JC & WN, future JC/WQ, character death (WWX), JC shouting, humor?, JZX is ok for a Jin, necromancy) I remember characters discuss Wei Wuxian being traumatized, but I can’t recall if it was about his childhood on the streets or the abuse in the Jiang Family.

We all have a Hunger by KatAnni (T, 23k, wangxian, nighthunts, cloud recesses study arc, getting to know each other, getting together, implied/referenced child abuse, ghosts, dogs, panic attacks, hurt LWJ, minor injuries, fever, starvation, homelessness, WWX’s childhood, WWX’s canonical cynophobia, whump, angst w happy ending)

~*~

11. Are there any fics which focus on Wei Wuxian rebuilding his core? Fics which focus on him meditating, fighting, cultivating to go from weak back to strong? Likewise fics which show the difficulties and struggles he faces while his core is still weak, such as being cold, weak, or needing to eat. (secondary question: would this kind of fic generally be included in the “golden core fix it” tag?)

Step Into The Stream by julomaiboulomai (G, 7k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, post-canon, outsider pov, 5+1, reconciliation, WWX living in Cloud Recesses, LQR pov, gusu lan rules) touches a bit of that in the background and I find it lovely

Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WangXian gets a happy ending)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) it’s a really good one WIP though ✨✨

the path to heaven (starts at the bottom of hell) by lightningalwaysreturns (M, 24k, wangxian, post-canon, immortality, family feels, future fic, mild sexual content, married wangxian, fluff & mush, canon compliant) There is a sequel too. It just as amazing.

~*~

12. heeeeeeyy for the next itmf I’d like some mind reading or sharing thoughts or sharing feelings or that kind of thing with wangxian. I was thinking of something maybe funny like lwj and wwx just having a silent conversation while everyone else wonders why they’re staring like that at the other, but something more serious is welcome too!

Thanks a lot!!!!

Hope Dangling by a String by KouriArashi (M, 70k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, everyone lives, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, psychic bond, telepathy, communication, emotional/psychological abuse, jiang family feels, lan family feels, canon-typical violence, canon-typical politics, improper use of sacred forehead ribbons, gratuitous hair washing)

~*~

13. itmf for fics where JC and LWJ become (or are already) friends

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji being bros series by JiangChengLotus (Mostly T, 99k, JC & LWJ, wangxian, JC/LXC)

Time Kept Flowing by notoneforreality (T, 201k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, major character death is wwx, who comes back, Family, Autistic LWJ, Kid Fic, JC and LWJ raise the kids, Co-parenting is hard, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

14. Good day! I hope you’re having a great time. So ahmm, can you recommend me fics where one character (like wwx or jwy) reincarnated/isekai in a novel they read and then became the side/main/outsider character in that novel? (Preferly if they tried to change things in the novel but I do not mind if there is a scenario where they tried to avoid being involved in novel’s storyline but still get involve lmao)

Any pairings will do as long as the idea was like that.

thank you so much!

Heart of gold by Yuqiyuqi (M, 4k, wangxian, historical fantasy, modern WWX, transmigrator WWX, arranged marriage, fluff & angst, slow burn, happy ending, WIP)

Reincarnated as the Prince’s Omega and He Wants to Make a Baby With Me!? by raviollialienking (M, 11k, wangxian, isekai, ABO, arranged marriage, alpha LWJ, omega WWX, mpreg, masturbation, frottage, WIP)

Dramaturgy by slex (slexenskee) (T, 62k, wangxian, canon divergence, isekai, modern WWX, bisexual disaster WWX, fix-it, WIP)

Round One GO! by kat8cha (M, 12k, wangxian, video game world au, always different sex au, fighting game, trans character, fem LWJ, fem WWX, hijinks & shenanigans, incense burner, LWJ has YLLZ kink)

Reincarnated as the Novel's Villain by hishirin (Not rated, 28k, JC/LXC, JYL/JZX, wangxian, isekai, reincarnation, medieval au, villainess au, athlete JC, slow burn, knight JC, wizard WWX, crown prince LXC, enemies to friends to lovers, prince LWJ)

transmigration for dummies by magnvseffect (T, 14k, LJY/LSZ, canon divergence, scum villain au, transmigrator LJY, humor, implied/referenced character death, WIP)

~*~

15. Hey, I'm looking for fics about the older siblings being friends and teasing/commiserating over their younger siblings? Like mingjue, xichen, yanli, and wen qing as a friend group. Shanastoryteller's modern school au sort of has the right vibe but isn't entirely there

Thanks! @captainkaithr

Give a Little Love by westiec (T, 12k, JYL/NMJ/LXC/WQ, WangXian, NHS/JC/WN, MM/QS, XuanLi, 3Zun, Modern with Magic, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Polyamory, Miscommunication, Mentioned JGS, Humor, Slice of Life, Family Drama, WWX's Canon Obliviousness, sword fights, Getting Together, Good Sibling JZX, Apology Dumplings, Nonbinary NHS, the Mortifying Ordeal of Friends and Family, [Podfic] Give a Little Love by RevolutionaryJo)

~*~

16. hi! can you suggest me any juniors (trio/quartet) time travel, where these juniors meet young wangxian?

also, i hope you can recommend me other fics related to junior + wangxian as well! thankyou <3 @oceanfl0wer​

unhappy stories with happy endings by Last_for_Hell (M, 30k, wangxian, the junior quartet, watching some memories not the whole series, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, references to torture, PTSD) not time travel, but the juniors see memories of younger wangxian

~*~

17. Any fics of ghost wei ying in ghost city?

Teatime with the Dead by Winxhelina (T, 6k, wangxian, ghost city, ghost WWX, love confessions, kisses, happy ending, fluff & angst)

💖 The Red Ribbon by Xiao_Hua (M, 20k, wangxian, hualian, ghost city, cultivation partners, immortality, fluff, supreme ghost king WWX)

Can we skip to the Good Part? by  pink-lotus-pods (Waterlogged_fireflies) (T, 107k, hualian, wangxian, crossover, YLLZ WWX, slow build, canon temporary character death, Fix-It of sorts, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, genius WWX)

Faithless by RohanBerry (M, 46k, wangxian, hualian, god LWJ, ghost WWX, dark LWJ, protective LWJ, friendship, pining, angst w happy ending, slow burn, WIP)

Waxing Moon Officer by Sal13 (T, 11k, WIP, WangXian, Minor HuaLian, Minor MianQing, Crossover, Ghost WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, Hurt WWX, Suicidal WWX, Amnesia, Deity HX, Lotus Pier worships HX, WWX Is Good With Children, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Oblivious WWX, BAMF WWX)

Wei Wuxian and Ghost City Series by Flower0018 (Not Rated, 6k, HC & WWX, YLLZ WWX, Ghost WWX, Canonical Character Death, Ghost City, HC-Centric, Light Angst)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what  you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack,  whatever - it’s all good!***

[nalyra-dreaming]

https://www.tumblr.com/nalyra-dreaming/766550532732092416/hi-nalyra-i-hope-youre-well-ive-been-rereading

Same anon.

Absolutely agreed, especially since they really can’t go back without making a mess. They shot the arrow, now they can’t tear it away without bringing the flesh with them.

Personally I think that, as you said, we could have vampires who directly drank from Akasha (the twins, Marius, Akasha’s fledgling) blackout and have violent outbursts they have memory of but felt like they couldn’t control themselves. I was rewatching one of my favorite childhood shows where one arc had a character become very vicious to their love interest and pick another woman because of a love enchantment. Once freed, he tells their love interest that it felt like his mouth spoke and his limbs acted but he wasn’t leading himself, as if he was strapped to the control chair. And I think it’s a metaphor they could use for the ““violent”” vampires too. Having this happen in flashbacks could help too.

Ultimately they’ll have to introduce Amel and, I think, they could have him face Louis for a moment during a fight and have a little moment where he says something along the lines of “I know these eyes. Ah yes, a century ago, I remember you. Dropping you was exquisite to do” and then have a little montage of Louis “realizing”/imagining how Lestat’s possession happened.

To avoid any abuse apologia, they could have Lestat still take ownership of the fact he started the fight and acted abusively throughout their reconciliation period until Mardi Gras. Even though the audience will know by the time Amel is introduced that Lestat acted like that out of fear and wish to protect his family, this self awareness even with Louis might be the best course of action. Everything in the sense that “I might not have been in control of myself during, but I was before and after, and I was awful to you both. Even if one thing is not my direct doing, I should’ve controlled myself”.

Besides, this arc aside, Amel being the one behind so much pain for Louis could give him a bigger role in the storyline, which book Louis didn’t have. I’d love to see a scene where, while Lestat is undergoing the procedure to remove Amel, Louis meets and confronts shadows or ghosts from their past. Maybe Magnus’ ghost, with Lestat’s face plastered on himself, during a chess game? Maybe a demonic Claudia? Maybe ghosts of people from his and/or Lestat’s mortal lives? I’d love to see it.

Regardless, back to the main point, I really hope they’ll have a writer for this specific “it was Amel all along” arc, because we need someone who knows what to do, how to portray credibly all these things, and most of all how to not trigger #them

Mhhh, I don't think they'll use Amel for a lot of that, tbh.

And remember, the "abusive" coloring, while certainly true in parts (and Louis downplayed them being threatened to lay it out as abusive paranoia!) is part of the tale - the "had" to kill Lestat. Something Louis himself sees as "debatable"later. If you know Merrick...

But I digress. Amel won't be part of that coloring. Nor the drop. They established that. It's done. It will have other, different reasons.

No, Amel will be only the part outside I think, where Lestat was so... different. And that will go over badly enough, as I talked about before (and to repeat, I'm not particularly happy about it).

Also, as a note, and not to take away from the fight, but it's Louis who flies at Lestat and kindles it between them. Because of Lestat going at Claudia, yes, and I'm not saying that's wrong as an action of Louis, but Lestat does not attack Louis and start the fight between them.

As per "#them"... I don't care anymore. They will be offended by anything that will happen there. They are offended by DM being popular (it's a DECADES old ship but facts mean little these days), they are offended by people liking Lestat, they are offended at this show being about nuance and terrible people all around. It's all the same song, all the time, with little regards to facts, the shifting narrative, or what the show actually tries to say. They can stay on their little song, and maybe it'll make them happy. But I doubt it.

[expectiations]

You should totally talk about River’s ‘The Doctor does not and has never loved me’ speech and emotional impermanence!

I’ve thought about it before, and to me it’s always seemed like it stemmed from a very relatable ‘I’m not good enough for the Doctor’ mentality?

Finally had enough breathing space to have a bit of a chat about these two. I have already yapped about my thoughts on that speech, but the more I learn about emotional permanence (or the lack of it), the more I see it in River. It's not a widely known concept I think, especially within the fandom. It may not have been in Moffat's mind when he wrote THORS but it still makes sense. Anyways, I hope I answered your ask adequately below!

River’s "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech reflects a moment of raw pain and emotional impermanence. It happens during a period of profound grief following the loss of her parents and a period of separation from the Doctor. Her words aren’t grounded in reality but in her state of mind—a mix of grief, emotional impermanence, and the effects of a miscommunication fueled by their nonlinear timelines.

River’s feelings of inadequacy aren’t caused mainly by the Doctor’s actions. He is openly affectionate, both verbally and physically. Their love is steady and enduring. However, River’s emotional impermanence makes it hard for her to hold onto that sense of being loved when the Doctor isn’t physically present. When he’s around, his love feels undeniable. When he isn’t, her mind fills the gaps with self-doubt: If he’s not here, does he still love me?

This emotional impermanence is amplified by their out-of-sync relationship. The Doctor’s absences, combined with the grief of losing her parents, make it harder for River to believe she’s enough. This isn’t about the reality of their love but how her emotional state distorts her perception of it.

By the time River delivers her speech, it’s clear a massive misunderstanding has occurred. Both are grieving Amy and Rory, but their coping methods clash. River suggests going to Darillium, perhaps as a way to reconnect and process their loss together. The Doctor refuses—not because he doesn’t care, but because he fears Darillium marks the end of their time together. His attempt to protect her only drives her away.

For River, his refusal may have felt like rejection. Emotional impermanence convinces her that his pushing her away reflects how he feels about her. In reality, the Doctor’s love hasn’t wavered—his absence stems from his fear of losing her. This miscommunication leaves them both isolated in their grief.

The Doctor’s reaction to the row is evident in The Snowmen, where he retreats into isolation, believing his time with River has ended. He searches for her to make amends but never finds her, yet upon seeing her data ghost, he is convinced their time is over. River, meanwhile, is left to process their fight on her own. By the time we see her in The Husbands of River Song, it’s clear the wound hasn’t healed.

River’s strength lies in her ability to keep functioning, even while carrying deep emotional wounds. She can compartmentalize her pain, locking it away to continue living her life. But her "The Doctor does not and has never loved me" speech is a moment where those walls break down. It reveals how much the row, their separation, and her emotional impermanence have affected her. It’s not a reflection of reality, but a cry of pain from someone who feels disconnected from the person she loves most.

River’s speech isn’t about a lack of love from the Doctor—it’s about the intersection of her grief, emotional impermanence, and their miscommunication. Their love is not fleeting or weak. It’s enduring, as evidenced by their reconciliation at Darillium. The speech reflects River’s humanity: beneath her larger-than-life confidence is someone who experiences self-doubt, pain, and longing like anyone else. Their relationship, with all its complications, remains a testament to their deep love and commitment.