#i will proofread later

[pinkcarabiner]

i think we could all use a reminder that butchfemme is a subculture within an already marginalized identity. it's completely okay if you have no interest in participating in butchfemme culture itself as long as you are respectful. butches historically faced persecution for being gender non-conforming. lesbians are victims of violence for failure to comply with patriarchy. to paint butchfemme culture as heteronormative (and butches and femmes as upholders of patriarchy) is ignorant and homophobic. our active resistance of a system that oppresses us is not heteronormative. calling a butch or a femme gender-conforming or claiming that they uphold patriarchal standards is homophobic. educate yourself on the history of violence our community has faced.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

coming home

synopsis : you sleep over at katsuki’s place after a night out with your friends. it’s more convenient that way.

an. wrote something rq after seeing the epilogue chapter and pheeewieeeee,,my boyfriend..sigh my boyfriend oh my boyfriend ouggh

cw. nothin really, just a lil casual domesticity w katsu :3, katsuki is fine ASL, reader n katsuki shower together so nakedness they nakey, lmk if there's anything else !!

you’ve noticed katsuki looks very good when he’s the designated driver.

he looks so natural behind the wheel, arms slightly flexed and gripping the steering wheel. his face serene but slightly tensed in concentration, occasionally scoffing to himself whenever someone in front of him drives too slow or cuts him off.

the lamp posts outside reflect nicely on his jaw, his nose and sharp eyes. his whole face really, you can’t stop sneaking glances at him.

he takes the opportunity to place his hand on your thigh once you get to a stop light, giving it a light squeeze. it feels heavy, relaxed, like your thigh just conveniently happens to be there for him to use as an armrest.

another squeeze and katsuki speaks, eyes never leaving the road, the stop light shines the same color as them.

“what’re ya peekin’ at me for, huh ?”

you’ve clearly not been sneaky enough, but you hum anyway. “whaddya mean ?” you ask innocently, your boyfriend scoffs.

a pinch to your thigh and he laughs when you whine. “know you’re not dumb, so quiet actin’ like you are. you got somethin’ on your mind, say it.”

you pout at him, he catches it when he glances at you briefly and smirks, katsuki pats your thigh.

“i was jus’ lookin at you, you look nice.”

he hums at that, smirk growing wider, he nods lightly “nice, huh ?”

“mhm,” you nod “really nice..” you clarify, making a point to look him up and down. he snorts, but his grip on your thigh does a bad job at making him look unbothered.

“know you’re obsessed with me, but you could at least try to act like you’re not.” he teases, hands going back to the steering wheel when the lights on his face shine green. the slight furrow in his brows immediately returns when the car in front of him doesn’t immediately pick up the pace. his fingers drum against the wheel impatiently.

“you got somewhere you need to be or something ?” you giggle.

“yeah, home. in bed.” he quips, always as easily irritable when he was sleepy and not to mention just a bit tipsy. kaminari had managed to get him to drink a little bit more than he usually would but the electric blond got too drunk to notice you’re boyfriend babysitting his drink the entire night. he always insisted on being the driver when it came to his precious baby.

you know he’s never liked to drink much, but you also think katsuki doesn’t so as to not demolish his so called 'reputation'. you and a handful of friends know how needy and emotional he gets when he gets drunk. he acts like everyone is after him when he’s reminded of the fact.

when things had started to die down and everyone slowly but surely started heading home, katsuki leant in near you to ask if you were ready to head out. he was the one that insisted on picking you up from your place since you were on the way to the restaurant, it was more convenient that way he'd said.

but suddenly, he’d suggested you just sleep over at his house for the night. his was closer if he took a shortcut, and it was already getting late. besides, you had left plenty of your stuff at his house. it was just “less of a pain” that way, he’d claimed, and you agreed.

katsuki places his arms behinds your chair to carefully back up into a parking spot. a lucky find, since it was so late at night. but that was hardly something you could focus on when he leant in so close, jaw tight in concentration. he smells just a bit like alcohol mixed with his usual scent.

you’d been together for years now, and yet this still makes your heart hammer, you’d blame it on the slight buzz of alcohol in your system if it wasn’t for the fact that this has always been how you’d reacted before—from the day he’d gotten his license and took you for a test drive to show off.

as the car slows to stop and the engine dies down with a low growl, katsuki turns on the lights and sighs, plopping down onto his seat with a groan, you have to laugh at how he acts like he’d just driven through a desert. he runs a hand through his hair and you notice katsuki looks extremely good when he’s the designated driver.

conveniently, you still have some sleepwear laying around at his house, neatly folded would be a better way to say it, katsuki was always a clean freak, not that it mattered much though since you knew you could just grab one of his shirts and call it a day and he wouldn’t mind at all. you think it shouldn't feel so natural to fish out a pair of your clothes from the drawer, like you'd been living here your entire life.

conveniently, katsuki has a spare toothbrush. he denies that he’d gotten it for you and tries to convince you that his specific toothbrush was sold in a pack of two and he was planning on keeping it for himself.

right, of course.

katsuki’s apartment has always had a cozy feel to you. probably because it was his and not just any old apartment. he just had this warmth to him that made it a home, one you could see yourself sharing with him. it’d be simple, natural. like breathing just to be with him.

you don’t particularly enjoy smelling like alcohol and outside, so you’re happy to sneak off to get to the bathroom first while your boyfriend gets himself a glass of water. until he catches you, of course. he almost chokes with how fast he zooms towards you, quickly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“the fuck you think yer doin’ ?”

“katsuki, m’stinky and gross.”

“m’not gonna let you hog the bathroom in my house, get your own.” he stalks closer to you. he’s grown a lot since high school—in height, muscle, confidence and the list could go on, you stand your ground.

“you’re the one who brought me here, mister.” you shove an accusatory finger into his firm chest. he doesn’t budge, but he scowls down at your finger like you’d shot him and digs his finger into your side before you can stop him. you’re ready to cuss him out and fight if you have to, but to your surprise he sighs. looking off to the side.

“fine, we’ll just both go then.” he huffs, ears slightly tinted pink in the light of his living room.

oh.

“w—oh.” you breathe, immediately his eyes zip to you. his eyebrows furrow harder and his lip pulls up to hide the embarrassment growing on his face. “what ? s’that a problem or something ?”

“no, no !” you try to tone down the surprise in your voice, leaning against the wall to try and act casual. “i mean, no it’s not but—like, are you sure ?” and you feel like you’re sixteen again asking him if it was okay to kiss him.

“it’s more convenient that way. uses up less hot water so, it works out for me.”

“ah, right. bills.” you try to jest, managing to only huff awkwardly. your eyes flit to him and the floor and he scoffs after a minute. slowly, gently, he grabs your wrist. slowly, gently going towards your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours.

“stop being dumb and weird.” he scolds, before pulling you inside the bathroom with him.

you realise, really realise, with your back against his chest, how warm your boyfriend is.

he's always run hot and it came in especially handy during the harsher winter months. but now it's not cold, it can't possibly be when it feels like he's damn near running a fever behind you.

hot water be damned, he'd be able to heat up an ice cold bath all by himself you think. perhaps he'd always been this scorching, but it's the extra proximity that's making you realise it.

despite scolding you earlier for making it weird, katsuki is incredibly stiff. he'd been stiff when he swiftly turned around the moment he decide the water was an alright temperature, mumbling something about telling him when you got in. he'd kept his eyes aimed diligently at the ceiling of his bathroom and almost slipped when he tried to reach for the corner of his bathtub. you tried to spare him the embarrassment of giggling at his mumbled, butt naked cursing.

he'd scooched in behind you and it took him about a minute to let himself relax enough to let your skin touch. despite it being more convenient for him like he'd claimed, his hands stayed glued to the edge of the bathtub. the grip he has seems a little much, you can see his knuckles almost turning white, but his arms strain and bulge that way and you won't say that's not nice to look at.

you decide to make the move. you sigh, feigning relaxation despite your heart pounding, only intensifying when katsuki holds his breath for a second behind you. you make yourself more comfortable, leaning against him more and woah, he's scalding. you almost want to pull back, but you feel yourself leaning a bit further as you realise he's moved back too. his back now touching the edge of the tub. he hisses when the undoubtebly cold edge hits his skin.

slowly, slowly, the grip on the tub relaxes, and he lets himself dip around. fingertips slowly floating around in the water until they came to run up your arms. your shoulders, and he sighs then, really sighs like he's comfortable. and then all is good in the world again.

he's somewhat used to it now, and it's normal, almost second nature how he leans his head forward to land in the crook of your shoulder. he nuzzles into it more when you lean to the side to give him more space. he shoves his head in deeper, nudging his head to yours harder because he knows the tips of his hair tickle. and of course, ever the nuiscance, does it again and again until it has you giggling softly in the quiet of his bathroom.

and you think you could honestly get used to it.

"'ve been thinkin'.." you hear him mumble against your skin. you let out a hum when he doesn't continue. "'bout what ?" you ask sleepily.

"..bout you moving in, with me." he pauses, you pause. and it's quiet. again.

"o-oh yeah ? where did that come from ?" you try to keep your voice as steady as possible. your heart races and you feel it so hard you think it ripples in the water. you feel katsuki lift his head up lightly in confusion, but his eyes still won't move towards you.

"ya had something else planned 'r somethin' ?"

"no, no ! i'd wanna, i'm super down !" you're a bit louder than you mean to be, voice a bit breathier and higher in pitch and it echoes against the walls of the bathroom. katsuki's fingers twitch where they rest on the edge of the bathtub again and he sighs.

"i just didn't expect you to um-pop the question.." you trail off, you immediately mentally smack yourself for the wordage you used, because now you can't stop thinking about marrying him. you wished you could sink further into the water but now you're a little too aware of the hot skin pressed behind you.

katsuki doesn't look at you, he leans back until he's staring at the ceiling. you can tell he's trying to make himself more comfortable with the way he stiffens in an effort not to move like he usually would when he'd pretend to be unbothered. it tells you that maybe, just maybe, he was thinking about the same thing as you.

he sighs, and he finally looks at you then. voice poised and calm, but his eyebrows furrow and there's a slight pink on his cheeks.

"just..more convenient that way. you're already here all the time anyway." his rough voice cracks just slightly, the hints of doubt peeking through him. after letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding, you hum again.

"y-yeah--yeah.." you manage. katsuki clicks his tongue behind you.

"look, if you don't wanna-" your boyfriend gulps back his next words when you lean back against him once more. stiffening, before finally calming down again.

"i do, i wanna move in with you. truly." you lean your head back enough to comfortably look at him so he can see how serious you are. it seems to stun him a bit, eyes widened. his lips tremble like he wants to speak but can't. and since he can't, he composes himself (tries to at least) and nods, mostly to himself rather than you.

"good..good.." he mutters. you nod as well, turning back and closing your eyes to try and calm your beating heart, to fully relax.

"mhm, good."

and it's quiet again. only the sound of soft breaths and beating hearts remain. you can almost feel his heartbeat pressed against your back.

"how long have you been thinking about it--me moving in and all ?"

he hums from behind you, now that he's calmed down, his shoulders relax and he gets just a bit bolder, rubbing a thumb against the skin of your upper arm.

"does it matter ?"

"yes."

he grumbles, obviously embarrassed. " a while." is what he settles with "figured it was about time."

about time, huh ? you nod, the room overtaken by silence yet again. a comfortable, warm one you could get used to.

"'sides, i know how much you miss me when you leave."

you scoff, rolling your eyes. he's ruined the moment like his big mouth usually does.

"oh please, you're the one that keeps calling me back the moment i do leave." you shoot back, it's katsuki's turn to scoff now.

" yeah, sure. just admit you're obsessed with me, babe." he sasses.

"oh, babe you forgot your sweater at my place so come back and get it. what? no, i can't bring it back you forgot it so you come get iiit !" you put on a nasally deep voice, waving your arms around in the water dramatically.

"s-shut up, moron !" katsuki stutters, his abrupt movements of disbelief causing the water to ripple and spill over from the tub. "i don't sound like that--"

"oh babe, now that you're here i actually just remembered you forgot to gimme my 5th goodbye kiss on the way out--"

"yn.." he warns lowly.

oh yn, if i could, i'd spent my entire life makin' out with you cus i wuv you sooo much, bleh bleh muah muah-- !" your crude little kissy noises are interrupted by your boyfriend furiously flicking water into your face. you squeal loudly, shrieking trying to block the jet stream with your arms. you laugh loudly as he continues attacking you from all sides and you're sure by now half of the water he's used was most definitely on the floor, but you really couldn't care less.

and frankly, you could get used to this.

taglist.

@napbatata @andysdrafts @queenpiranhadon @jastoo46 @cecelia77

@katszumi @m-inluv @monchurie @the-hangry-otter @starlostlaiba

@moonshuul @erenstitanweave @katsus-mistress @dondeh-zedonutqueen @liluvtojineteyam

@aspiringwriter1111 @sugurusmoon @redvelvetstan1

@niktwazny303 @nemisimp @kit-katsukii @alphasage @milktea-academia

[somewhereincairparavel]

Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.

after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.

annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.

let's start off with the lost hero

when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.

-----------------------------------------------

this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.

both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.

They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.

they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.

we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.

moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.

jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.

while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.

and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.

annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.

whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.

annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.

they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.

fatal flaws:

annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.

and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.

as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.

she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.

and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote

[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]

which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.

jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].

both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.

annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)

they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.

speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.

this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.

I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!

@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms

[cornerstoreclown]

So happy to see you’re back, we missed you!🫶

How about reader cleaning those nasty teeth for him? Given he’d allowed it-😉

Consider it done. Gender neutral reader x Art, trying to brush this man's teeth.

---------------------------

This is the third time he’s shoved you off his lap. For the past five minutes, you’ve been fighting the Miles County Clown with sheer determination, spite, and a toothbrush. Who was winning at this point, you weren’t sure. What started off as a simple ambush when he was sitting on the couch watching your TV became a failed plan within seconds the very instant he caught wind of what you were trying to accomplish. 

There were three truths that could coexist peacefully: 

The first one was that you loved this stupid clown. The second truth was that he was fucking disgusting and often smelled like he came out of the goddamn city sewers, and god have mercy on your soul if you caught a whiff of his breath after he finished eating something–or someone. And the third truth follows on the tails of the second one…

Which is that your standards are absolute dogshit. The bar is in hell! Literally in this case, considering WHO you’re dealing with.

Absolutely no way in hell that anyone else in the entire world would be able to get away with this. No one. They’d get a free lobotomy with how far that toothbrush would be jammed up their nose. You’re actually surprised that he’s not yet gotten up out of his seat, but you did catch him at a time where one of his favorite shows was on. That was all a part of your grand scheme. 

You’re back in his lap again, toothbrush with a little bit of toothpaste still somehow miraculously attached to the bristles.

He moves his head away from you again, like a defiant child, and he’s starting to wear down your patience and piss you off. 

“Art.” You firmly tell him, trying to get this brush near his face, and so far, the closest you’ve gotten is within a few inches of his mouth. You use your free hand to try and tilt his head back to keep him from moving, leaving him to respond in turn with a scowl, baring his teeth in the form of a threat. 

Which was fine for you. 

With enough dexterity, you manage to get a few brushes in on the top row of his teeth, feeling a bit of satisfaction until he elbows you in the face and then pushes your head away so you can’t see.

“Fucker!” You say through grit teeth. “Art, come ON! Let me HELP you!” 

You don’t feel the pain when he hits you in the face. Anger and frustration run deep in your veins now, guided by nothing but pure adrenaline as you’re both locked in battle with each other, pushing at the other. You both look like siblings at this point. That’s about how it fucking felt. 

You fight against him pushing your head away, and catch a glimpse of a horrid sight–

His gums are bleeding.

His teeth are coated in blood. 

You knew that his oral hygiene was bad, but you didn’t know how bad, and it becomes apparent to you that everything was way worse than you thought. 

Then he stuns you, zigging when you were expecting him to zag as he switches it up, grabbing your wrists and staring you right in the face, his snarl twisting into a smile. You don’t get a chance to react.

Well, you sort of did.

“Art–” 

You’re cut off as he presses his lips to yours, forcefully kissing you and sloppily giving you the nastiest fucking makeout ever. His tongue pushes past your mouth and goes in, shamelessly sharing whatever taste he had leftover from the mystery dinner he ate the night before, but not without the sharp taste of iron from his bleeding gums first. You gag, the pungent taste hitting your tongue, leaving you to immediately try to back up off of him, and he helps you further by once again shoving you off, this time flinging you to the floor at the foot of the couch.

The toothbrush, your so-called weapon of the day, has been dropped and rolled away from where you landed flat on your back. 

Art wasn’t having it. The show he had been hoping to watch tonight? Ruined, as he gets up off the couch and leaves you on the ground. He had half a mind to kick you in the side on the way out. 

You’ll just have to try again some other time. Maybe.

[gofishygo]

just thinking about john price and the scruffy stray that he finds standing outside his door, lost in the rain.

it's been years since he's retired from service, since he'd lost soap. he stumbles drunkenly to the door when his ears pick up in the soft knock of wood (it seems his senses haven't dulled- he doubts they will after what had happened), dog tags clinking softly beneath his wifebeater. his breath is heavy with the smell of beer. he speaks to you with a voice so grisled, words leaving no room for you to breathe, and yet.

you still look up to him with shiny eyes, trail behind him and do your best not to stumble. you seem to keen at his words, stare at him so sweetly, look at him with nothing else but admiration. and he doesn't know what to do with mutts like you- doesnt know how to deal with breathing in and feeling the power of having control over such things that were smaller and weaker than him- so he keeps you.

price lets the kid- knows that they hate it when he calls them that- follow him round for his daily errands, chuckles to himself when they 'sneakily' slip items into his grocery cart, never thinking that stealth could be used so innocently after what he'd seen. eats old, greasy foods at older, greasier pubs while you scrunch your nose at whatever sketchy smell is bothering you. and sometimes, more than he would ever dare to admit, he lets you climb into his bed and curl up in when you both have nightmares. lets you hide behind him when trouble lugs itself in, narrows his eyes and raises his hands and tells you to close your eyes, kid.

price is no stranger to evil, he faces it, works with it. he’s below and between the lines of what was right and wrong, carries the darkest corners of society on his shoulders. but you- he knows that he can never let you see that, he knows that you're simply too good for the world. for him. and he would protect you from it, no matter the cost.

gn reader, can be interpreted as platonic or romantic.

[girliism]

70s cult leader art who picked up your friend from the grocery store on day and you haven’t seen her since.

“hello” you hear a voice you haven’t heard in months.

“oh my god? are you ok no ones seen you for months. i thought you died.”

“died?” she laughs through the phone. “i haven’t died in fact i feel more alive than ever.”

“well, where the hell have been?”

“that’s what i called you for, i want you to come visit me. it’s been so long and i missed you dearly. he even said you could spend the weekend.” he?

you don’t question it to much telling her you’ll be there. she gives you the address and says to come on friday.

you leave early in that morning, the california sun beating down on you through the window as you approach a huge house. you eagerly park your car getting out to see your friend.

“i’m so glad you came.” she pulls you in for a tight hug. “god, i missed you so much.” you hold her just a little bit longer before pulling notice something on her upper arm. “what’s this?” you stroke the mark on her arm. “looks like a tattoo but worse.” she pulls away from you. “it’s nothing. come on i’ll show you around. and don’t worry about your bags someone will grab them.”

the house was beautiful. a giant staircase and a crystal chandelier hangs in the foyer. “holy shit.” you stare in awe. your friend laughs at your reaction. “i know right wait til you see the rest of the house.”

“and this is where you’ll be sleeping here with me.” it was a huge room, lots of windows and six beds lined up next to each other. “you can have the bed on the end-” “girls.” you turn around to a man with blonde curly hair dressed in a long silk rob and tiny underwear. “art!” your friend goes up to place a kiss on his lips. oh? “art, this is my friend the one i was telling you about.” you hold you hand out for him to shake but his immediately pulls you in for a hug. “it’s so great to finally meet you. i hope you have a fun time here.” he pulls away with a big smile on his face before leaving. “isn’t he just so great.” your friend stared at the now empty door way. “anyways you should probably change out of those jeans before i show you outside. it gets terribly hot.”

dressed in a loose white dress you and your friend walk through the garden. “this is our garden all of our produce is grown here by our garden members.” they were all naked sporting the same mark on their arm as your friend. she showed you the rest of the huge property and soon it was time for dinner.

the dining room was full of talking and laughing. three long tables placed next to each other. you sat in the middle one. the room got quite when art walked in. “family, today we are joined by a new friend. i hope you all made her feel welcome.” yes is echoed throughout the room. “join hands and thank the divine for blessing us with such a beautiful harvest and such a beautiful guest.” they all joined hands thanking the divine before passing food around starting up conversations again.

art watched you the whole night. they way your lips wrapped around the fork how easy you got a long with every one. maybe you were what was missing from the house.

“you got so lucky tonight. you got to sit at his table right next to him.” you friend said to you from her bed. it was night and you and your friend were talking about the day you had. “what’s so great about this art guy.” you say. everyone here seems so obsessed with him. “he’s amazing. when he found me i was so sad and hiding it from you, but he saw that and he helped me.” you hummed. “well i’m glad you’re happier now.”

you get awoken in the middle of the night by howling and the urge to pee.

the old house creeks below you feet as you walk back from the bathroom when you hear it. moans. they were coming from a room and the door wasn’t all the way closed, so against your better judgment you looked through the crack. you saw bodies fucking in a perfect circle with art in the middle, two people going down on him. what the fuck? you accidentally push the door causing it to creek. art snaps his eye to yours making quick contact with you. you gasp moving back immediately making your way back to the room. you replay the scene in your head pushing a pillow in between your legs grinding against it softly.

the kitchen is busy that morning, people moving in and out of it. your friend spots you coming up to hug you. “good morning. how was your sleep?” “it was fine. um what’s going on here.” you pick up and apple from the fruit bowl but it’s ripped out your hand. “no eating that those are for tonight.” you ask what tonight was. “the first full moon of the summer. we’re gonna be camping outside, oh i do hope you stay for it.” “oh uh i wouldn’t want to intrude.” you say shaking your head. your friend smile drops “that’s ok. it’s been so much fun either way i do hope you come back and visit.” she shrugs going back to preparing for tonight.

you were packing your bag up getting ready to leave when someone comes in tell you art what’s to see you in his office. you make your way to his office knocking on his door. you hear a soft come in and you walk in taking a seat in front of him. “i hear you’re not gonna stay for the full moon camp out.” art says leaning back in his chair blue eyes locking with yours. you draw a breath looking away. “i just as an outsider wouldn’t want to crash you know.” art laughs getting up to take a seat on the desk in front of you holding your hands in his lap. “please, we would love to have you join us.” his thumbs stroke the back of your hands.

so you find your in another white flowy dress walking bare foot up a hill arm hooked with your friends. “i’m so happy you decided to stay you’re gonna have so much fun.” you friend smiles.

“drink this and find a spot.” you drink the mysterious drink the guy at the top of the hill. you start to fill whatever it is you drank, your muscles feel loose and the flames in front of you look as if they are waving. you see your friend encourage you to get up and dance with her so you do. jumping and twisting dancing around the fire getting lost in the night. art watches from his spot before getting up to dance too, grabbing your hand pulling you off to a more secluded area.

art pushes you to lay on the grass hovering over you pulling the strap of your dress down. you moan at how his touch shockes you. whatever you drank has you overly sensitive and needy. “i saw you watching us last night in the shadows.” your bare tits get exposed to the cold night air nipples harden. “you wanted to join just us or did you want me all to yourself.” art pulls your head that was rolling to the side smacking your cheek to get your eyes to open. “yes, i wanted you i even went back in my bed and touched myself.” you whine at the filling of art’s fingers teasing your cunt.

you were so high. your eyes glossed over and drool spilling out of your mouth that art licks ups slipping his tongue in your mouth. “want you to fuck me with your cock.” the small sober part of you was confused on why you were acting like this, but the major part of your mind felt fuzzy, and art hands holding your thighs open made you want to cum on the spot just from his touch.

art chuckled at your directness. “i can do that.” art pulls is cock out of his pants pushing it into your wet heat. “fuck.” he grunts bottoming out. the second he enters you, you feel reborn like his cock was what was missing from your life. “oh my god.” your eyes roll back. art shakes his head. “no, not god. the divine.” he smiles at you bringing one of your legs up over his shoulder and starts fucking into you.

“i thank the divine for bringing you here for bringing me such a welcoming pussy to lay my sperm.” art kisses all over your face gripping your breast hard, panting like a dog in your ear.

“art art art - oh fuck - fuck me harder.” you whine. the twigs on the ground scrap your back, and art is punching the sweet spot inside you with his dick.

art starts licking and sucking on your breast, leaving faint bite marks there. “the best fucking pussy. need you to stay with me, rule with me in my divine kingdom.” everything art’s saying and how his thumbs moves fast on your clit has you blanking. absolutely nothing is being thought. the only thing echoing up there is arts pleads of staying with him.

“i think i’m gonna come.” you dig your nail into his arm as your cum gushes down his cock. you don’t know when art cums in you but he does. the only thing you do know is how you feeling like your floating. everything around you seems so bright and vibrant. is this the divine?

you come back to reality when art kisses your lips asking if your were ok. “i’m more than ok, i’m perfect.” you breathe out. art smiles down at you. “so you’ll stay with me?” art ask taking advantage of the state you were in.

“yes, i’ll do whatever for you.” you and art lay there under the full moon.

(poor girl was tripping off shrooms thinking she’s having a religious experience 🙂‍↔️)

[lsdoiphin]

Foods of Vestur

@broncoburro and @chocodile provoked me into doing some illustrated worldbuilding for Forever Gold ( @forevergoldgame ), an endeavor I was happy to undertake. Unbeknownst to me, it would take the better part of a week to draw.

In the process, I conjured about an essay's worth of fantasy food worldbuilding, but I'm going to try and keep things digestible (pardon my pun). Lore under the cut:

The Middle Kingdom

The Middle Kingdom has ample land, and its soil, landscapes, and temperate climate are amenable to growing a variety of crops and raising large quantities of livestock. The Midland palate prefers fresh ingredients with minimal seasoning; if a dish requires a strong taste, a cook is more likely to reach for a sharp cheese than they are to open their spice drawer. Detractors of Middle Kingdom cuisine describe it as bland, but its flavor relies on the quality of its components more than anything.

KEY CROPS: wheat, potatoes, carrots, green beans, apples, pears, and grapes KEY LIVESTOCK: Midland goats, fowl, and hogs

ROAST FOWL: Cheap and easy to raise, fowl is eaten all over Vestur and by all classes. Roasted whole birds are common throughout, but the Middle Kingdom's approach to preparation is notable for their squeamish insistence on removing the head and neck before roasting, even among poorer families. Fowl is usually roasted on a bed of root vegetables and shallots and served alongside gravy and green beans.

GOAT RIBEYE: Vestur does not have cattle – instead it has a widely diversified array of goats, the most prominent being the Middle Kingdom's own Midland goat. The Midland goat is a huge caprid that fills the same niche as cattle, supplying Vestur with meat and dairy products. Chevon from the Midland goat is tender with a texture much like beef, though it retains a gamier, “goat-ier” taste. It is largely eaten by the wealthy, though the tougher and cheaper cuts can be found in the kitchens of the working class. Either way, it is almost always served with gravy. (You may be sensing a pattern already here. Midlanders love their gravy.)

FETTUCCINE WITH CHEESE: Noodles were brought to the Middle Kingdom through trade with the South and gained popularity as a novel alternative to bread. The pasta of Midland Vestur is largely eaten with butter or cream sauce; tomato or pesto sauces are seldom seen.

CHARCUTERIE WITH WINE: Charcuterie is eaten for the joy of flavors rather than to satiate hunger, and therefore it is mainly eaten by the upper class. It is commonly eaten alongside grape wine, a prestigious alcohol uniquely produced by the Middle Kingdom. The flavor of grape wine is said to be more agreeable than the other wines in Vestur, though Southern pineapple wine has its share of defenders.

BREAD WITH JAM AND PRESERVES, TEA SANDWICHES, & ROSETTE CAKE: Breads and pastries are big in the Middle Kingdom. The Middle Kingdom considers itself the world leader in the art of baking. Compared to its neighbors, the baked goods they make are soft, light, and airy and they are proud of it. Cakes in particular are a point of ego and a minor source of mania among nobility; it is a well-established cultural joke that a Middle Kingdom noble cannot suffer his neighbor serving a bigger, taller cake. The cakes at Middle Kingdom parties can reach nauseatingly wasteful and absurdist heights, and there is no sign of this trend relenting any time soon.

CHOWDER, FARMER'S POT PIE, GRIDDLECAKES, EGGS, CURED MEATS: If you have the means to eat at all in the Middle Kingdom, you are probably eating well. Due to the Midland's agricultural strength, even peasant dishes are dense and filling. Eggs and cured meats are abundant, cheaper, and more shelf stable than fresh cuts and provide reprieve from the unending wheat and dairy in the Midland diet.

STEWED APPLES AND PEARS, JAM AND PRESERVES: The Midland grows a number of different fruits, with apples and pears being the most plentiful. In a good year, there will be more fruit than anyone knows what to do with, and so jams and preserves are widely available. Stewed fruit has also gained popularity, especially since trade with the Southern Kingdom ensures a stable supply of sugar and cinnamon.

NORTHERN KINGDOM - SETTLED

The Northern Kingdom is a harsh and unforgiving land. Historically, its peoples lived a nomadic life, but since the unification of the Tri-Kingdom more and more of the Northern population have opted to live a settled life. The “settled North” leads a hard life trying to make agriculture work on the tundra, but it is possible with the help of green meur. The Northern palate leans heavily on preserved and fermented foods as well as the heat from the native tundra peppers. Outsiders often have a hard time stomaching the salt, tang, and spice of Northern cuisine and it is widely considered “scary.”

KEY CROPS: potatoes, beets, carrots, tundra pepper KEY LIVESTOCK: wooly goats, hares*

GOAT POT ROAST: Life up north is hard work and there is much to be done in a day. Thus, slow cooked one-pot meals that simmer throughout the day are quite common.

VENISON WITH PICKLES: Game meat appears in Northern dishes about as much as farmed meat – or sometimes even more, depending on the location. Even “classier” Northern dishes will sometimes choose game meat over domesticated, as is the case with the beloved venison with pickles. Cuts of brined venison are spread over a bed of butter-fried potato slices and potent, spicy pickled peppers and onions. The potatoes are meant to cut some of the saltiness of the dish, but... most foreigners just say it tastes like salt, vinegar, and burning.

MINER STEW: While outsiders often have a hard time distinguishing miner stew from the multitude of beet-tinged stews and pot roasts, the taste difference is unmistakable. Miner's stew is a poverty meal consisting of pickles and salt pork and whatever else is might be edible and available. The end result is a sad bowl of scraps that tastes like salt and reeks of vinegar. The popular myth is that the dish got its name because the Northern poor began putting actual rocks in it to fill out the meal, which... probably never happened, but facts aren't going to stop people from repeating punchy myths.

RYE TOAST WITH ONION JAM: Rye is hardier than wheat, and so rye bread is the most common variety in the North. Compared to Midland bread, Northern bread is dense and gritty. It is less likely to be enjoyed on its own than Midland bread, both because of its composition and because there's less to put on it. Unless you've the money to import fruit spreads from further south, you're stuck with Northern jams such as onion or pepper jam. Both have their appreciators, but bear little resemblance to the fruit and berry preserves available elsewhere in Vestur.

HARE DAIRY: Eating hare meat is prohibited in polite society due to its association with the haretouched and heretical nomadic folk religions, but hare dairy is fair game. Hare cheese ranges from black to plum in color, is strangely odorless, and has a pungent flavor akin to a strong blue cheese. It is the least contentious of hare milk products. Hare milk, on the other hand, is mildly toxic. If one is not acclimated to hare milk, drinking it will likely make them “milk sick” and induce vomiting. It is rarely drunk raw, and is instead fermented into an alcoholic drink similar to kumis.

MAPLE HARES AND NOMAD CANDY: Maple syrup is essentially the only local sweetener available in the North, and so it is the primary flavor of every Northern dessert. Simple maple candies are the most common type of sweet, though candied tundra peppers – known as “nomad candy” – is quite popular as well. (Despite its name, nomad candy is an invention of the settled North and was never made by nomads.)

TUNSUKH: Tunsukh is one of the few traditions from the nomadic era still widely (and openly) practiced among Northern nobility. It is a ceremonial dinner meant as a test of strength and endurance between political leaders: a brutally spiced multi-course meal, with each course being more painful than the last. Whoever finishes the dinner with a stoic, tear-streaked face triumphs; anyone who cries out in pain or reaches for a glass of milk admits defeat. “Dessert” consists of a bowl of plain, boiled potatoes. After the onslaught of tunsukh, it is sweeter than any cake.

NORTHERN KINGDOM – NOMADIC NORTH

Although the Old Ways are in decline, the nomadic clans still live in the far North beyond any land worth settling. They travel on hareback across the frozen wasteland seeking “meur fonts” - paradoxical bursts of meur that erupt from the ice and provide momentary reprieve from the harsh environment. The taste of nomad food is not well documented.

KEY CROPS: N/A KEY LIVESTOCK: hares

PEMMICAN: Nomadic life offers few guarantees. With its caloric density and functionally indefinite “shelf life,” pemmican is about as close as one can get.

SEAL, MOOSE: Meat comprises the vast majority of the nomadic diet and is eaten a variety of ways. Depending on the clan, season, and availability of meur fonts, meat may be cooked, smoked, turned to jerky, or eaten raw. Moose and seal are the most common sources of meat, but each comes with its own challenges. Moose are massive, violent creatures and dangerous to take down even with the aid of hares; seals are slippery to hunt and only live along the coasts.

WANDER FOOD, WANDER STEW: When a green meur font appears, a lush jungle springs forth around it. The heat from red meur fonts may melt ice and create opportunities for fishing where there weren't before. Any food obtained from a font is known as “wander food.” Wander food is both familiar and alien; the nomads have lived by fonts long enough to know what is edible and what is not, but they may not know the common names or preparation methods for the food they find. Fish is simple enough to cook, but produce is less predictable. Meur fonts are temporary, and it's not guaranteed that you'll ever find the same produce twice - there is little room to experiment and learn. As a result, a lot of wander food is simply thrown into a pot and boiled into “wander stew,” an indescribable dish which is different each time.

CENVAVESH: When a haretouched person dies, their hare is gripped with the insatiable compulsion to eat its former companion... therefore, it is only proper to return the favor. Barring injury or illness, a bonded hare will almost always outlive its bonded human, and so the death of one's hare is considered a great tragedy among nomads. The haretouched – and anyone they may invite to join them – sits beside the head of their hare as they consume as much of its rib and organ meat as they can. Meanwhile, the rest of the clan processes the remainder of the hare's carcass so that none of it goes to waste. It is a somber affair that is treated with the same gravity as the passing of a human. Cenvavesh is outlawed as a pagan practice in the settled North.

HARE WINE: While fermented hare's milk is already alcoholic, further fermentation turns it into a vivid hallucinogen. This “hare wine” is used in a number of nomad rituals, most notably during coming of age ceremonies. Allegedly, it bestows its drinker with a hare's intuition and keen sense of direction... of course, truth is difficult to distinguish from fiction when it comes to the Old Ways.

SOUTHERN KINGDOM

The Southern Kingdom is mainly comprised of coast, wetland, and ever-shrinking jungle. While the land is mostly unfit for large-scale agriculture, seafood is plentiful and the hot climate is perfect for exorbitant niche crops. What they can't grow, they obtain easily through trade. Southerners have a reputation for eating anything, as well as stealing dishes from other cultures and “ruining” them with their own interpretations. KEY CROPS: plantains, sweet potato, pineapple, mango, guava, sugarcane KEY LIVESTOCK: fowl, marsh hogs, seals

GLAZED EEL WITH FRIED PLANTAINS: A very common configuration for Southern food is a glazed meat paired with a fried vegetable. It almost doesn't matter which meat and which vegetable it is – they love their fried food and they love their sweet and salty sauces in the South. Eel is a culturally beloved meat, much to the shock and confusion of visiting Midlanders.

NARWHAL STEW: Narwhal stew is the South's “anything goes” stew. It does not actually contain narwhal meat, as they are extinct (though the upper class may include dolphin meat as a protein) – instead, the name comes from its traditional status as a “forever soup,” as narwhals are associated with the passage of time in Southern culture. Even in the present day, Southern monasteries tend massive, ever-boiling pots of perpetual stew in order to feed the monks and sybils who live there. Narwhal stew has a clear kelp-based broth and usually contains shellfish. Beyond that, its ingredients are extremely varied. Noodles are a popular but recent addition.

FORAGE: The dish known as “forage” is likewise not foraged, or at least, it hasn't been forage-based in a good hundred years at least. Forage is a lot like poke; it's a little bit of everything thrown into a bowl. Common ingredients include fish (raw or cooked), seaweed, fried noodles, marinated egg, and small quantities of fruit.

HOT POT: Hot pot is extremely popular, across class barriers, in both the South proper and its enclave territories. This is due to its extreme flexibility - if it can be cooked in a vat of boiling broth, it will be. Crustaceans and shellfish are common choices for hot pot in the proper South, along with squid, octopus, mushrooms, and greens.

FLATBREAD: The Southern Kingdom doesn't do much baking. The vast majority of breads are fried, unleavened flatbreads, which are usually eaten alongside soups or as wraps. Wraps come in both savory and sweet varieties; savory wraps are usually stuffed with shredded pork and greens while sweet wraps – which are much more expensive – are filled with fruit and seal cheese.

GRILLED SKEWERS, ROAST SWEET POTATO: While a novel concept for Midlanders and Northerners, street food has long been a part of Southern Kingdom culture. You would be hard pressed to find a Southern market that didn't have at least three vendors pushing grilled or fried something or other. Skewers are the most common and come in countless configurations, but roast sweet potatoes are a close second.

CUT FRUIT AND SEAL CHEESE: Fresh fruit is popular in the South, both local and imported. While delicious on its own, Southerners famously pair it with seal cheese. Which leads me to an important topic of discussion I don't have room for anywhere else...

THE SOUTH AND CHEESE: Since the South doesn't have much in the way of dairy farming, cheese is somewhat rare in their cuisine ��� but it is present. And important. Cheese is the domain of the Church. Common goat dairy imported from the Middle Kingdom is turned to cheese by monks in Southern monasteries and sold to the Southern public, yes, but as you have noticed there is another cheese prominent in the Southern Kingdom diet: seal cheese. Seal cheese is unlike anything else that has ever been called cheese; the closest it can be compared to is mascarpone. It is is a soft, creamy cheese with a mild flavor and an indulgent fat content. It is used almost exclusively as a dessert, though it is only ever mildly sweetened if at all. It is extremely costly and held in high regard; the most religious Southerners regard it as holy. Dairy seals are a very rare animal and raised exclusively in a small number of Cetolist-Cerostian monasteries, where they are tended and milked by the monks. Due to their status as a holy animal, eating seal meat is forbidden. Eating their cheese and rendering their tallow into soap is fine though.

(HEARTLAND SOUTH) SOUTH-STYLE GOAT: The Heartland South is a Southern enclave territory in the Middle Kingdom. Visiting Midland dignitaries oft wrongly assume that because the Heartland South is in Middle Kingdom territory, Heartland Southerners eat the same food they do exactly as they do. They are horrified to find that familiar sounding dishes like “goat with potatoes” are completely and utterly unrecognizable, drenched in unfamiliar sauces and spices and served alongside fruit they've never eaten. Meanwhile, Heartland Southerners firmly believe that they have fixed the Middle Kingdom's boring food.

(BOREAL SOUTH) “TUNSUKH”: If Midlanders are afraid of Heartland Southern food, Northerners are absolutely furious about cuisine from the Boreal South - the most legendarily offensive being the Boreal South's idea of “tunsukh.” Southerners are no stranger to spice, so when Southern traders began interacting with the North, they liked tunsukh! It's just... they thought it needed a little Southern help to become a real meal, you know? A side of seal cheese soothed the burn and made the meal enjoyable. And because the meal was enjoyable, the portion sizes increased. And plain boiled potatoes? Well, those are a little too plain – creamy mashed sweet potato feels like more of a dessert, doesn't it? ...For some reason, Northerners didn't agree, but that's okay. The Boreal South knows they're just embarrassed they didn't think of pairing seal cheese with tunsukh sooner.

ARMY RATIONS

The food eaten by the King's Army is about what you would expect for late 1700s military; salt pork or salt chevon, hard tack, and coffee. The biggest divergence they have is also one of Vestur's biggest points of pride: they have the means to supply their troops with frivolous luxuries like small tins of candied fruit from the Midland. A love of candied fruit is essentially a Vesturian military proto-meme; proof that they serve the greatest Tri-Kingdom on the planet. Don't get between a military man and his candied fruit unless you want a fight.

[tuliptic]

SLUMP: How Do I Get Out Of Here

Too many times we’ve fallen into slumps and have had trouble picking ourselves up again. This reading serves to be a guidance on how we can be kind to ourselves, how we can get ourselves out from this pit of darkness and walk towards where we belong.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: Where are you, how are you gonna get out of here? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1 - Trickle

A card to symbolise you: The Hermit, The Moon

Aite it ended up with two cards. The first thing I’m picking up here is that there is a need for you to step into the unknown instead of wandering around the entrance. Sure, seeing the dark ahead is scary, but you’re the Hermit, you have your torch with you, and the Moon is shining above you, lighting the path as you take your steps. It’s difficult if you wander around without directions, but you have light guiding your way. You know your goals and how you wanna achieve, all that’s left is to tread carefully to reach the exit. The Moon here is giving me spiritual vibes, so you may turn to that for an extra hand, and an extra opinion so that you can see things from another point of view, and to learn something new.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Pentacles

You've taken up a lot of responsibilities, thinking that it's all your obligation. It's not. All these burdens have piled up on your back, crushing you as time passes. As this went on, people around you have… Well… Taken advantage of you. It’s a little bit difficult to say cuz you tend to be the person who focuses on the main picture and the collective benefit, so you allow yourself to take up more responsibilities.  This can also be an excuse to run away from interpersonal problems, especially between family members. Or, there may be a possibility of you not having a decent relationship with your family members, that you have to focus on work and find your worth through your career.

2. How do you get out of here? The High Priestess rx

You’re more of a practical kinda person, focusing on what you can see and what you can comprehend, instead of the spiritual aspect of the world. With this, there may be a loss of connection with your intuition and/or inner voice. You will need to tune into your intuition, pay attention to the voices in you instead of the voices outside (remember to not get it mixed up with anxiety). When you’re feeling low or challenged, remember that you are loved, and you are worthy of love. There’s a saying I’ve read somewhere, “Those who are loved have the strength to conquer difficulties”. Know your worth and accept it. You have come this far, and you will continue to go further.

3. What can you learn from this? Ten of Pentacles

One of your core values is family. You may have been brought up with the concept that family is important and how it has shaped you to who you are today. However, you are called to check if this value aligns with you, aligns with your emotional and mental needs. With the wrong people, it’s no longer an alliance but a discord. You learn the needs of having proper and healthy connection, and how to unlearn old values and beliefs that no longer help you, picking up new values and beliefs along the way. Focus your energy and effort on That One Thing that you want to achieve (purpose), and water that plant (intent). Once you’ve put in the right gear, the rest will fall in place, and you’ll see the results in plain sight.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Three of Cups

Your friends are your greatest support system, but I’m also gonna remind you to also be the friend they need. Although the theory of love languages is a scam, to understand what the other person needs in a friendship (or any forms of relationship) is necessary, else you’re just imposing your ideals onto them. To me, it feels like growing together, relearning new things (or old things) about yourself, understanding yourself better and how to treat yourself better. Hang out with your inner child, do whatever it is that your inner child has wanted to do the entire while. For example, you’ve wanted to colour your hair ever since you're in secondary school, do it; if you’ve wanted to get a new piercing, do it. Go ahead and do whatever it is that you’ve wanted to do (as long as it’s not against the law or rules of whatever institutes that you’re in).

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Cups rx

Hmmm… Your emotions are… Rather turbulent, I’d say. There’s an unhealthy stream of emotions that you’re holding back, and the dam is about to break. A lot of healing needs to be done, where you need to focus on yourself, to express selflessness and fairness over yourself first. Not to sound discouraging, but you may never heal from certain trauma, where you can only learn to walk away from whatever that is and live with it. Even though you’re surrounded by obstacles right now, remember that with time and the right amount of attention and effort, you can work through almost any deadlock. By then, you’ll be stronger and more capable to work towards your dreams, desires and goals.

6. Advice for you: The World rx, The Empress

Your journey is far from over, and to some of you, you may not even know where you’re headed, not knowing where your goal is. It can sound discouraging, but I think the beauty in it is that you get to look around and learn, absorb as much knowledge as you want, level up yourself as you go. It’s like… Your goal is to learn and experience, to grow as a being, and let that be part of your soul journey.  Be kind to yourself. I feel that many who picked this pile have trouble treating themselves well, financially and emotionally. Some may also be people pleaser because that was what they’ve been taught when they’re kids, and this is a sign that it’s high time for you to cut away from those habits. It may be difficult to cut it off, but at least, recognize and acknowledge this part of you. If you choose to believe that you’re not one, then you won’t work on it. Let your journey on this earth be a fun and comfortable one, where you put your needs first, focusing on yourself. You are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Learn to appreciate yourself more, learn to live for yourself.

Overall energy: The Devil, Two of Cups rx, The High Priestess

I’m immediately picking up energies of self-sabotaging. I don’t think I need to further elaborate on this, those who know it will know it. I feel that this pile may listen to their logic more to the point that they ignore everything else, may it be your intuition or your feelings, making you misaligned with yourself. Calm yourself down, stay quiet, focus on one point, and sit there with your head blank (if you need some background noise to help you, do so). Once your head stops screaming, ask yourself about the emotions that you’ve been feeling. Listen to your heart, listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Align yourself to the path you’ve wanted to take. Cultivate yourself, create and enjoy. Invite limitless magic into your life through whatever that goes through your hand. Welcome yourself onto this Earth.

.

.

Pile 2 - Breeze

A card to symbolise you: Death

Changes come and go as the breeze, lightly and without you noticing. It also feels that the changes you bring and the changes you experienced can be similar, where it’s… Nonchalant. There’s not much emotional attachment with whatever you’re holding to, and when it changes, you accept the changes because they don’t affect you much. The transforming energy this card holds is not something sudden, but something that gradually happens over time. It’s like the straws stacking up on the camel’s back. One day, one last straw will break the camel’s back, and that’s when you have to make necessary changes to make sure you survive.  This is you right now, and unlike other piles, you are aware of this. It’s still gonna take quite a bit for you to take any action because you don’t think you’re at that point of breaking yet.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Swords rx 

You probably have not been paying attention to whatever that’s going on with your life. It feels like… You go along with the flow too much, not paying attention to where the final destination is going to be, focusing very much on the present. With that, people can come in and influence you to work to what they want. I wouldn’t say that they’re bad guys, but imagine parents that can be controlling, wanting you to do things according to their way/method cuz they believe it’s the best for you. Some may actually guilt trip you, or use you to their own convenience, depending on what’s going on and if your family is so.  As that goes on, you’ve given up taking control over your own life, only focusing on surviving the days. It’s high time for you to realise where you are standing right now, and hence, you’re experiencing this burn out. You will need to clear your mind and heart of negativity, as well as negative influence to at least rekindle the passion you have towards life.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Wands

Rise and leave. This card talks about action, and it’s gonna be very fast. Give them no time to think or to react. Make sure your wings are strong enough to carry you far, make sure whatever chains of negative influences end with you. Take this as a sign to put your hesitation aside and go for it! You may feel as though you’re being trapped in a whirlwind with how everything is happening around you, but place your trust in yourself as well as your higher self. Things will be fine, and you’ll be able to see how your plans worked out. However, remember to step forward with plans and proposals.  If you do not feel prepared enough to take any action, it’s okay. Rest, grow stronger and prepare yourself, so that when the chance comes, you’ll be able to take off without any hesitation. You’ll be surprised with how far your dreams have guided you.

3. What can you learn from this? Six of Cups

First thing I’m picking up from here is networking/connections. During this period of time, you probably have made new friends along the way. However, if you look back, you'll notice the similarities between the new friends you've made and your friends from childhood. This is because you tend to fall back into things that provide you comfort and familiarity. Similarly, you fall back to friends and/or family that have stayed with you throughout these while, eventho they have not been kind to you, because of that familiarity. You are called to do some introspection, to discern and decide how you want your life to be, what you are going to do to get that life you wanted.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Six of Wands rx

Should this happen again, stay low and remember where you came from, remember that place of pain where you've finally left, and remind yourself to stay on your toes. Do not think highly of yourself, of how strong you've become and finally you can stand against it. Don't let your ego feed into you. You are very well capable of falling into old patterns again if you have not gone for any therapy. Seek help from some other authorities that you trust, else, you search for people you trust to help you out from this. Remember, there's only so much you can do, and the most important one among all is to protect yourself.  You will heal, but you’ll need to take time, allow yourself some rest time for you to regain your energy. You’ll know when you’re healing, or fully healed. Healing is never linear, so don’t rush yourself.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ten of Pentacles

There’s a lot that you have, abundance in finance and human connection. Ten of Pentacles is usually a family card, but I’m also seeing it as a found family, where you select who you want to be in your life. With Pentacles, I’m seeing that this connection may be from work, or those who have helped you in your career. That aside, there’s finances here so… You may be the type who’d save up for rainy days, or you’ll make sure you have enough before you leave whatever situation you’re in.  To be able to achieve this, your main qualities would be determination and mental strength. There’s more to go but you have the foundation for this, and from what I’m seeing, you’re already on your way. You may want to try meditation or spiritual related themes, as well as doing a bunch of research on your friends and family. There may be a reason why people around you are acting Like That™, and you may also want to look into yourself if you play any factor. 

6. Advice for you: Six of Pentacles, Ten of Wands rx, The Sun rx

Be generous to others, but turn that generosity towards yourself first. Spend money and pamper yourself when you need them. Remember, what goes around comes around, you provide help, and help will be provided to you.  Put down those burdens people have been putting on your back. You have a tendency to carry the burdens and expectations of others, when all you need to focus right now is yourself. This is something that will… Challenge your core belief, I'd say. You need to focus on yourself, remember that you are the main character of your own story. At most, you can be the side character of another's story, but never their stepping stone. Once you learn your worth, accept it, and work on it, things will turn out different for you. Half of the cards here are sixes. This usually symbolises themes of success, satisfaction and rewards. Do what you need, and the rest will fall in place.

Overall energy: Temperance, Eight of Pentacles, The Hermit

I'm feeling some sort of balance from you. Things can be a mess, or even chaotic. But you actually know where to go and how to go about it, and you're sharpening your tools (skills) at the moment. What I'm feeling from this is that you're preserving your energy, ready to strike when it's needed, bringing a new form of rebirth. You have been receiving messages from your guides, you know they are having your back. Sure, new life can be birthed from old wounds, but you have no need to burn yourself to warm others, to find your worth in this painful form.

.

.

Pile 3 - Woods

A card to symbolise you: The Emperor rx

For some reason, it feels like you're the dejected king. You've done your best to do a lot of good, fight for what you believe in, and yet get shunned/ostracised by your own people. You still believe in what you stand and fight for, but part of you actually doubts if you're doing the right thing, or if there's something wrong with you. There are some questioning and contemplation, making your heart waver, wondering if you should leave this kingdom you're ruling over and go to some other place. The conflict is pretty… Strong in you at the moment, and it feels like you want to put the sceptre down.

1. How did you get here? Page of Swords rx

It's giving me the feeling/vibe that you've been listening to the wrong people, and there's active manipulation and deception in play. Whatever information that you've received/heard have been altered, and even tampered to a certain extent, trapping you in that perception. From there, it will be difficult for you to deconstruct incorrect information and to absorb new things in. What I'm also picking up is that you may have a tendency to go ahead and lead something, even if you're not familiar with the subject, which may be why you ended up being The Emperor rx. An example: Your cousin has told you that you have skills and talents in becoming a HR team leader, and so you applied for the job even if you have zero HR related skills and experience. With that, you're now leading your team and this is where you see problems come in, because you do not have sufficient tools and skills and experience. You can't quit this job because you've signed a contract, and if you quit, your team members will suffer as they will need to redo everything. Your ideals are nice, but you did not consider the limitations and challenges, ending up extremely unrealistic. With that, of course your team members will complain because you also have not taken their situation into consideration.

2. How do you get out of here? Death

There's a lot of changes that need to be made. Heck, you may need to go through a period of “death”, where you deconstruct your knowledge, what you have, what you pride yourself over; and form something new. It's like… A butterfly. Many people know that the caterpillar wraps itself in silk, and comes out of it as a butterfly. But not many know that the caterpillar literally dissolved into goo inside the cocoon. That sort of “death” is what you will need to go through. From there, you build yourself up with knowledge you've filtered, sourcing out resources carefully, being critical of what information you've gotten (or even whatever others are trying to feed you). Of course, throughout this time, you'll need to rebuild your trust in people, allowing yourself to heal from all sorts of betrayal.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

Sometimes, conflict isn't necessarily bad. You will need it (sometimes, fights and quarrels as well) to get your thoughts and opinions across, and also to understand the other person better as well. It is through conflict that you'll be able to see things that you've been missing out, especially if those “benefits” are things that are absolutely necessary to the other person. Your sense of justice is not applicable to those who are underprivileged, because they will be the first person who'll suffer from the changes.  This conflict can also refer to the wolves inside of you, where you'll need to fight yourself, is your justice really justice if it harms the victims even more. There's more to find out by yourself, and this is a period of transition, where you'll move away from who/what no longer helps you, to things that will be of help and growth in the long run.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The World rx

Remind yourself that it's okay to fail, to be imperfect, and release whatever that is tying you down. Be kind to yourself and let go of self-criticism. This is something bound to happen, since growth is not linear. The world won't end if you make a mistake. But you need to make sure you're learning something from whatever you're doing. Awareness is something important, and you need to be conscious of your action, as well as what it will bring about. Make your actions purposeful, put meaning behind whatever you do or say. You're growing, and you're not doing it alone. You're growing with your friends, you're growing with the world. Do not try controlling the actions of others. You are your own world, and you should be nurturing it with intent.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Swords rx

You're smart. You're either book smart or street smart, or some other forms of smart that I do not know of. Which is why you actually know what it is that you have to help you go through this: By turning that Sword towards yourself. You don't like being told that you're wrong, and it's that pride of yours that will continue to push you forward. And most of all, you will not let yourself make the same mistakes again, allowing you to be sharper than before. Also, you may come up with a guide, describing how you've failed, and how you're making sure that others don't go through the same problems as you. You may end up a little pushy and long-winded, so please be aware of this.

6. Advice for you. King of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune rx

There are a couple of things that I'm picking up here. One of them is a warning, that you should not attempt any emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or any of that sorts, consciously or unconsciously. You may be good with your words, and may have accidentally used them to “convince” someone to see your way, without you attempting to look at their side of the situation. Remember that whatever goes around, comes around. Morality is important, but morality without kindness is just… Inhumane. You also will need to remember to find your new strength, and how you want to proceed with your journey, may it be retiring being a King, or rebuilding your empire with the right people and right values. The cards aren't really willing to fall out, so I guess these are the main themes for you to pay attention to.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Pentacles, The Star

There are quite some… Misdirected strength here. You are vigorous and ambitious, you have a lot of things that you want to do and to accomplish, but your actions aren't purposeful enough. You probably may feel like you're not seeing much results, and may be slightly dejected. Authorities may have a role in this. However, look at the bright side, you are doing something! Your generosity has helped many people throughout the way, providing faith and hope to those who are troubled. You may be spiritually guided too, so let your guides do their job and steer you towards the direction you're supposed to go.

.

.

Pile 4 - Crackle

A card to symbolise you: The Chariot rx

You’re rushing through a lot of things right now, worried that you can’t catch up with your peers. I’m seeing an image of you riding a horse, pushing yourself forward ruthlessly, ignoring your horse and everything else as you’re only focusing on your goals. Not sure if it’s your horse that will collapse or you falling over first. It is a very… anxious and bouncy energy that I’m feeling here. It’s also warning both you and I that things are going to be a havoc if you’re continuing this, as there’s this lack of balance, where you’re focusing too much on the external items (glory, society-defined success, external approval) instead of whatever that’s going on inside you (self-affirmation, emotional comfort, core belief).

1. How did you get here? The Hanged Man

I’m seeing that you’ve been forcing yourself to do things that you’re not good at. You probably have been called “inflexible” or “stuck in your own way” kinda person, and you’ve forced yourself to change, to see and attempt what other people do. However, it doesn’t work for you. You noticed that you’re not suitable for it, may be due to your upbringing or your brain has already been wired so. Yet you still push ahead with that thought and attempt, wanting to fit in with the rest (and society) so that you do not feel like an outcast. You have received a lot of help throughout this journey, but as the level of difficulty increases, you are running out of helpline and tools to fit in with the rest. This is where you’re starting to feel the burnout and the sense of failure is starting to eat in.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Pentacles

Instead of finding ways to fit into societal norms, it would be much better if you focus on what you’re good at and work on it instead. Diligence and hard work are the foundation of success. This is a rather positive card, but you need to make sure that you’re putting in hard work in the right place. You need to first recognise the difference between What You Like and What You’re Good At. From there, you will then need to make the decision on which path you want to take, and how you can expand your skills, and how you can make use of the tools you have to help you out of this slump. Having dreams is great, but you need to equip yourself with the tools to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes, things can turn out to be not… Ideal. You may realise that what you like is not what you’re good at, and it can be rather disappointing, especially if you’re the type of person who wants to do something you like for a living. But then, you can continue to do the things that you like while you also focus on the things that you’re good at. Nothing is stopping you, as long as you know how to balance your time and energy.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

For some reason, I’m seeing conflict coming from not only within yourself, but also between you and your close friends. Conflicts and arguments often happen when there’s miscommunication, where each party believes themself to be at the right. It is also important to know that one learns better through these kinda fights, where you can take this opportunity to understand what the other person is thinking and expecting, and to see if you are capable of fulfilling that expectation. Every fight is a learning process, where you learn some parts of you that you are not aware of. From there, you make the necessary changes to make yourself into a better person. Now, just a reminder. If you’re incapable of a particular change, do not attempt to change yourself for it. Else, you’ll go through this same process of falling into this same slump, and this cycle will never end. It’s like saying that I can’t fit in the rest of the group because I’m wearing glasses and they don’t. If I don’t get my eyesight fixed, I can’t join their group. Am I gonna get a laser treatment for this? Nope. And it’s alright if I change my friend group because I am unable to adhere to their expectations. The same goes with neurodivergence and neurotypicals as well.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The Fool

Take it as a new form of journey if this happens again, where you travel, meet new people and learn more. You can rest if things get too overwhelming, but you need to remind yourself to get up again and continue your journey. Life’s a constant learning process, where you recognise your changes, and you come up with new coping methods to work with it, especially as you age. For example, your eyesight worsens with age, and you’ll need to change your glasses so that you’re able to function and work as normal. It is the same with life and slumps, where you find out the problems and work accordingly.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Judgement

First thing I’m picking up is that you’re very critical of whatever that’s happening within yourself. You may not turn that judging side of yours outwards, where you focus on criticising yourself more. You tend to intentionally make yourself uncomfortable by putting all the blame on yourself, and this is where you need to work on. Instead of putting all the blame on your shoulders, you may try putting them on others if it’s their fault. The more faults you take up, the more you’ll be used. Let others take the responsibility of their actions, let them be uncomfortable with the consequences. You need to remember who you are, and even if you’re judged, let it be because of your own actions, and not of others. Free yourself from what is not yours, may it be glory or sin. 

6. Advice for you. - Temperance rx, Nine of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune

It’s pretty evident with the cards that are presented, where you need to balance yourself, inside and out. Short term gratification (the sense of belonging) is not gonna help you in the long run, especially if it eats into you and makes you question your identity, purpose, and sense of self. There’s a lot of thinking that you need to do, and you can start by writing things down and weighing the options.  You may feel that life’s playing a prank on you, or messing you up by throwing these challenges at you. This is something you need to go through though, as it is your life lesson. You may think that this lesson is not something you signed up for (a lot of us think the same), but your higher self had other plans in mind. It’s giving me the feeling that you have not picked up on themes on self identity and core beliefs in your past lives, that’s why you’re going through a bunch of it in this lifetime. Instead of rejecting and skipping class, why not sit through it and pick up bits and pieces to focus. 

Overall energy: The Lovers, Ace of Wands

I'm feeling some form of weight on my chest. It’s like you’re burdened with the choices offered to you, either A or B. You are not the type of person who’d prefer to make your pick, probably it’s because you are afraid of dealing with the outcome of your decisions. There’s fear here, but there’s also nervousness, as you’re starting a new chapter of something. Ace of Wands is the first card of the Minor Arcana, which talks about how you’re drafting your life. It would be great if you start the chapter in details of your healing process, including yourself surrendering the old and limiting beliefs that have been tying you down, allowing you to awaken and be reborn into limitless possibilities. 

[thesunisatangerine]

against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part one

alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader

status: completed

(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]

word count: 1.1k

The thing was, you didn’t plan on getting laid tonight. 

After a couple of days trying to settle in at Barcelona and looking for your lost luggage, all you wanted to do was to finally start your vacation. You just wanted to relax and experiencing the night life in Barcelona was definitely a good way to officially kick it off. 

So there you were at the bar of an (apparently) exclusive night club in the city–the location was emailed to you by Derek with a VIP pass and a note that said, ‘have fun ;)’–nursing your second, half-empty glass of mojito, the speakers blasting rhythmic reggaeton music, when a woman slid into the space next to you, cool and confident with the way she leaned on her elbows against the counter as she gave the bartender her order in smooth spanish, “A gin rickey, please.”

The woman looked to be several years older than you–and taller, too, even with your heels on–and maybe it was the alcohol or the proximity but there was no stopping yourself from openly admiring her. Her black, cropped top and her tight, high-rise pants revealed perfectly broad shoulders and toned arms, as well as the taught lines of her stomach. When your eyes travelled back to her face, you found her looking at you with a raised brow and immediately, your cheeks warmed. The fact that you were gawking shamelessly and got caught doing so… just wow.

Words of apology were already on your tongue but the curves of her lips were mesmerising, the elegant slope of her brows distracting, and those eyes… the depth in them threatened to drown you that all coherent thought deserted you. 

“Wow,” you breathed out.

“Excuse me?” Came the bemused question, an instant slap to the face that sobered you up immediately. 

“I’m so–I’m sorry, that’s what I meant to say. I’m–” You palmed a hand over your face as you began but a small chuckle stopped you halfway. You risked a peek through your fingers and saw the woman with her lips to the glass, something akin to a teasing smirk on her face while she remained leaning on the counter by her hip. 

“You’re not from around here, are you?” The woman asked as she took a sip from her drink.

Not really the question you were expecting but you’d rather take a reprieve over a disaster. And at that, you smiled sheepishly at her. “Is it that obvious?”

“Hmm, no, not really. Your slight accent gave you away but your Spanish is impressive.”

“I’m still working on losing it but I’ll take that as a win. I’m assuming you’re from around here?”

“My home town is about an hour away outside of the city but I stay here most of the time for work.”

“That must be nice, being close to home.” Feeling more at ease now, you sipped at your drink. The woman did the same. Then you continued. “So, what do you do?”

For a moment there was nothing but music and chatter as the woman regarded you with an unreadable expression. Her eyes glinted–with what exactly? curiosity?–her head cocked slightly to the side. Then she sipped at her drink again. Did you say something offensive? you wondered.

“I work between the sport stadiums. And you? Where is home and what brings you to Barcelona?” 

It was clear from the vagueness of her answer that the stranger didn’t want to talk about her job and it didn’t help your growing interest for her. You wanted to ask her about further details but the dismissive tone with which she answered made you hold your tongue and her question, anyway, made you pause as you pondered to answer.

As an orphan who lived a few years in the system, the subject of where home was had always been a sore spot for you even if the stranger didn’t mean anything deeper by it. In some sense, your adoptive mom was home but there was always a part of you that longed for… something.  But, of course, you couldn’t bring that up right now especially to someone you just met. So you just told her where you were from, that you were on vacation, and that you work as a photojournalist for a press agency you helped establish. Something in your answer must had piqued the woman’s interest because her brows shot up.

“Which branch do you work in?”

“Spot news. But I’ve been meaning to expand my portfolio and get into another branch. Maybe try sports or portrait?”

The woman hummed in appreciation. “Any sports in particular? Wait, do you even like sports?”

“I honestly know close to nothing so I haven’t made a decision yet, but it will definitely be women’s sports,” you replied. She nodded and sipped at her drink again, never breaking her gaze from yours and you felt your cheeks warm again. Those eyes… they were dangerous; they lit up every nerve in your body and it felt good. You continued. “What about you? Are you much of a sports person?”

And to your total bafflement, the woman beamed at you, radiant and glowing, dimples in her cheeks as mirth shone in her eyes.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous and at somewhat of a loss. 

The stranger let out a small chuckle, shook her head slightly as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, an attempt to hide her smile. “Nothing, nothing. And yeah, I’m a big sports fan. Then a beat passed before she continued, “you ever thought of covering women’s football? There are plenty of matches happening in the domestic leagues right now.”

“Maybe I will,” you hummed, mulling it over. It sounded good actually. And then you asked, “what else do you suggest for someone to do in Barcelona?”

The woman downed her remaining drink and placed the empty glass on the counter. Before you knew it, you could feel the warmth of her breath against your ear and you shivered when she purred. “Dance, of course.”And then she was holding your hand, pulling you off of the stool you were on, and began dragging you to the direction of the dance floor. 

All at once, warmth encompassed you: the crowd immediately swallowed you both, bodies pressed on you but the heat that emanated from the woman before you was the sole beacon for your attention. She had a loose arm around your waist and as the both of you danced to the music, you took that opportunity to wrap your arms around her neck and pulled her closer. She slowed down and she still had enough height on you that she had to lower her head.

“I never caught your name,” you spoke into her ear. 

“I’m Ale,” she replied. She pulled back to smile down at you. And then, she kissed you. 

[isatling-husbandry-guide]

Hello my i request the life cycle and expectancy of a loop

I am not sure i would be able to have one with my circumstances but i like learning about them

I can enjoy them from a distance right?

This is a much harder question to answer than you may expect?

Loops are odd varieties to obtain. They stem off from Siffrins in a few different ways. Some are found in Siffrin clutches- though it should be noted that they were not there when the clutch was first obtained. They sort of just?? Appear in clutches??

The other way is that, when a Siffrin is experiencing immense isolation and distress, they will on occasion just turn into one? These are rare occurrences, as more often than not a Siffrin in the condition to become a Loop is a state of (typically life-threatening) mental distress. It’s more-so observed in strays, but does still occur for caretakers- particularly for Siffrins without tankmates who are left isolated for too long.

The method to this isn’t fully understood at the moment, but from what we know it’s theorized that an underlying gene exists which presents itself in these stressful situations, and sets off a type of sudden body Craft for protection? Some researchers theorize about “old styles of craft” or “divine interventions”, but little work has been published surrounding these ideas. I’m sure there’s a Planeterium worker out there who knows much more than me.

A sign your Loop egg is going to hatch is increased light emitting from within the egg. Loops will explode the egg open from the inside, resulting in a blinding light as they exit. This also sends shell fragments flying around the nearby area, so make sure to keep a nearly-hatching Loop egg away from anything puncturable, especially other eggs.

Upon hatching, a Loop will appear as a smaller version of an adult Loop. A Loop that hatches in a clutch will have no cloak, hat, or dagger. Its head will have a softer feel & texture than that of an adult, but will be burning hot to the touch (handle with caution & gloves!)

pictured: newly hatched loop. click for better quality

A loop will get gradually taller (should exceed the hight of a Siffrin) as it ages. Its head will grow colder & will appear more pointed, and by adulthood should be warm like a sunbeam. A tail may grow steadily from the base of the spine around where the coccyx would lie. Loops can have a variety of different tails. Typically, they occur as thin cartilage with a bright appendage at the end.

pictured: common tail shapes

From here their growth is linear and ametabolic.

[vinelark]

i've been chipping away at the ch6 draft all day and the bad news is that i've hit the "oh this is actually so bad and no one will like it" stage, but the good news is that usually precedes the "full steam ahead let's finish it" stage

[14dayswithyou]

cw: domestic comfort fic with Moth (written for @z-shalltear <3)

"...Oh."

Your voice comes out soft — dulcet — so as to not startle your partner who was nestled deep within the fluffiness of your pillows, plushies, and blankets. Nothing but a faint light from their phone illuminates their face, but it disappears the moment their eyes fall on you. Giving you a soft smile, you watch as Moth sits up and offers you their undivided attention.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now." You return their smile in kind, though your shoulders can't help but slump even further from the fatigue that was slowly creeping up on you. "It's nearly three a.m." 

"I could say the same about you." Despite the playful glint in their eyes, Moth's voice is just as gentle as yours — much like the way they scoot back and lift the blankets to make room for you. An invitation, should you choose to accept it. "....Hey, y'okay?"

At their words, your resolve crumbles and your posture falters. You honestly weren't expecting to be met with concern — all you wanted to do was sleep away the problems and stress you've been dealing with lately — but it was nice to know that someone cared enough for your well-being to show genuine interest. And so, with a weak and weary sigh, you timidly walk over to Moth and settle into the space they once occupied in the bed.

It was still warm, comforting, and smelling faintly of something that reminded you of home.

"Mm. Just... tired, I guess." Once you're settled, you feel the blankets shift around your body before they're draped over your shoulders and tucked underneath your side. "Tired of everything."

"...Are you up for some cuddling?" your lover's voice comes from somewhere behind you. It was nice how Moth always seemed to ask for permission before touching you — lest it made you feel uncomfortable somehow.

So with a slight nod, you lean back into their embrace the moment you feel their arms circle around your body and rest underneath your chest. Your partner's chin soon draws near after a beat of silence; carefully tucking itself into the crown of your head to simply breathe in your scent.

...It seems you brought just as much comfort to Moth as they did to you.

"You feel like talking about it too?" Even though you felt safe in Moth's embrace to express what was on your mind, they still left enough room for you to decline. "Or... You can just tell me about your day instead? It doesn't have to be anything exciting. If you want, I can talk about mine."

Deciding you like the idea of having your lover's low, soft voice fill the silence; you offer yet another soft nod and gently rest your hands atop theirs. Unknowingly, your fingers brush against the silly little bow ring you gifted them upon a whim and it sends Moth's heart fluttering.

"Where to start... Well, I found this new anime recently — you might like it, actually." You felt them hum against your hair, "The premise looks really promising. It's about this isekaied retail worker who's been facing a lot of hardships in a brand new world, but despite everything they're going through, they keep persisting."

Moth pulls you closer to their side and gives you a soft squeeze.

"They... Okay, this miiiight sound cheesy, but— they remind me a lot of you. Very hardworking, supportive, resilient." You could almost feel Moth's smile grow as they continued, "Kind, helpful, determined. Now that I think about it, that character might just be a direct rip-off of you. Hey, do you think we could sue?"

An unflattering snort escapes the confines of your mouth at Moth's words, and you can't help but find yourself going along with it. "Pfft— You want to sue a giant production company?"

"Why not! Think of all the money we'd get once we win." Moth's head drops to the back of your neck now, holding you close as they continue talking. "Heh, we'd probably have enough to take a trip to Japan. Would you... Would you like that? It doesn't have to be Japan— anywhere is fine if it's with you, even if it's just to the city or back to Corland Bay."

"...You want to take a trip together?"

"Yeah! It'd be good for us, I think." If you focus hard enough, you'd be able to feel Moth place a chaste kiss against the clothed space between your shoulder blades. "We'd get a nice change of pace... and you won't be stressed out as much."

"Moth—"

"—I don't mind taking care of everything." All of a sudden, they sound serious. "Tell me when you can get some time off from work, and I'll plan everything. You won't have to worry about a thing!"

Moth's real name slips from your lips with ease.

Without missing a beat, you turn around until you're facing your beloved partner and rest your forehead against theirs — careful not to bump them with your nose. Soft, hazel eyes peer back at you, and before you can stop yourself, you lean in for a kiss.

Warmth and mirth flood your senses as Moth reciprocates with the same amount of tenderness, and for a brief moment in time, everything feels peaceful. Surrounded by nothing but pure love and adoration, you let your walls crumble down and let the light in. And just like a moth to a flame, your partner effortlessly gravitates towards you.

"Okay."

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

before katsuki left for his remedial classes, you tied his scarf for him once.

"oh, wait !" you exclaimed suddenly. katsuki looked at you curiously, scarf still in hand. you took it from him while he continued to watch, still confused.

you started tying the brown wrap around his neck. it has been getting colder, you thought it was cute how hard he was trying to stay in top shape. shows how much of a cool bad boy he was.

"lemme do it.." you mumbled, focused on your task. katsuki's eyes widened for a second, then he squints. "i can do it myself, dummy.." he huffs, but he doesn't make a move to stop you, especially with that look on your face. he quickly looks away shoving his hands in his pockets to hide how sweaty they're getting.

"i know that, just lemme !" you whine, he doesn't respond to you. clicking his teeth under his breath. you pat his chest once you're done. it doesn't take long, a few seconds. quick and effective, you smile.

"alright, you're all bundled up." he rolls his eyes, clearly not amused by your words and it makes you chortle. you lean up to press your lips to his, it only takes him a second before he reciprocates it, leaning into you so suddenly you have to grip at his uniform to keep your balance.

"i'm off." he breathes when he pulls away.

you nod "do your best, yeah ?" he nods back, then heads out.

it wasn't anything special. it only took you a few seconds, quick and effective.

a week later, there's a knock at your door.

"oh, katsuki !" you chirp "i thought you had your classes today ?"

katsuki stands at your door, making no move to come in. he has his usual grumpy look on his face, tilting his head slight. his scarf draped across his neck.

"i do, jus.." he cuts himself off, his eyes dart around to you, then peeking inside your room. "wanted to let ya know 'm heading off." he mumbles, ducking his head. he's grumbling so you can barely hear him, but you tilt your head when you catch his words.

"okay.." you utter wearily. you lean against your doorframe and he readjusts, shifting his weight from one foot to another with a huff.

you keep staring at each other. you're confused but he won't say anything so neither will you. he huffs loudly again, jutting his neck out to you.

"did you..need something ?" katsuki's shoulders drop the moment he hears the second part of your sentence. eyebrows furrowing. his mouth opens and closes, before he groans "s'whatever, forget it." shoving his hands into his pockets he trudges off, pink staining his ears. you roll your eyes.

"katsuki !" you call out, he stops immediately, glancing back at you slightly. you smile, walking over to him you spin him around. he's about to open his mouth to question you, but quickly closes it when he sees you reaching for the soft fabric around his neck.

you grab the ends of his untied scarf. slowly tying it for him "you'll catch a cold." you tease, tightly securing the knot. katsuki squints down at you, and when you look up at him he quickly looks away. he scoffs softly and you giggle to yourself at the glimpse you caught of his pink cheeks.

once you're done, you pat his chest. "there we go, all done." you hum. katsuki grunts, fiddling with one end of his scarf before dropping it. "thanks..'r whatever.." he leans in, "gimme' kiss." he mumbles quickly, but doesn't even give you any time to think about it before he already presses his lips to yours, you smile into it.

he looks down at your lips once more "'m off." he says lowly.

"have fun." you smile. your smile widens when he rolls his eyes with a scoff. "do your best, okay ?" he nods subtly, turning around and heading off.

"be careful !" you call out, he sends you an lazy wave.

katsuki tucks his nose into his scarf the moment the outside air hits his face, he inhales and his eyebrows pinch together at the cold. but he thinks he catches a whiff of your perfume on his scarf, he thinks about your hands on his chest and he feels just a little bit warmer.

he'll get you to tie his scarf for him again next time.

[ssongsboo]

─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────

─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────

⟢ 내게 다가와, 다가와 .ᐟ

the dim light flickered in the cramped bathroom at the club, casting shadows that danced along the walls. the loud music from outside blasting in your ears.

gunwook leaned against the sink, a wicked grin plastered on his face, the signature white face paint accentuating the mischief in his eyes. his dark hair was slicked back, and he wore a crisp white button-up, the collar sharp and stark against his painted skin. a loosely knotted tie hung around his neck, the deep purple contrasting his tan skin perfectly. there was something intoxicating about the way he embodied the joker- dangerous, unpredictable, and irresistibly charming. you tried to play it cool, but the flutter in your stomach betrayed you. you stepped into the frame of the mirror, admiring the matching costumes, a playful grin adorning your face. he couldn’t help but stare at your reflection, so pretty and all dolled up- just for him. he saw the looks you gave him throughout the evening. of course he did. the effect his unfamiliar look had on you could never go unnoticed by him.

"come on, you know you want to," he teased, stepping closer, his fingers dancing over your barely clothed waist. you smirked, pulling him in by the tie, the fabric stretching just enough to hint at the playful tension between you two. "who said we can't have a little fun?" he whispered, his breath warm against your ear. his voice is low and seductive, the hint of danger in his tone sends shivers down your spine. in one swift motion he spun you around, pinning you against the cool tiles, your laughter filling the space.

"just a quickie, right?" you murmured, eyes sparkling with mischief and desire. "right," he breathed, leaning down to capture your lips, the world outside fading as you got lost in the moment. your kisses ignited a fire, a chaotic dance of lips and laughter. gunwook’s hands roamed, exploring the curve of your hips, pulling you closer as you tangled your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. the thrill of being caught only heightened your passion. you giggled against his mouth, the sound breaking the tension in the air, a playful reminder of the situation you were currently in. "let’s make it a little longer," you suggested, eyes glossy with lust as you nipped at his lower lip. gunwook raised an eyebrow, a playful challenge lighting up his features. "oh? you’re feeling daring tonight?" he teased, leaning back to gaze at you, the flush on your cheeks a perfect reflection of your shared excitement.

"always," you replied with a wink, heart racing as the door rattled slightly with the distant sound of footsteps outside. with one swift motion gunwook lifted you, pinning your back against the cool tiles once more. your laughter mingled with breathless whispers as you surrendered to the undeniable tension that sparked between you. he captured your lips in a kiss once more, time seeming to have come to a halt. the kiss deepened, a wild clash of lips and breath that ignited the air around you. gunwook’s hands roamed freely, one tangling in your vibrant hair while the other found its way to your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. the cool tiles were a stark contrast to the heat radiating between you two. your heart raced as gunwook’s lips moved against yours with an intoxicating urgency, his mouth curving into a wicked smile even as he kissed you. you could taste the thrill of danger in every brush of his tongue- his attitude and demeanor made you so incredibly needy you curiously started grinding your hips against his growing bulge. he groaned into your mouth, sending sparks racing through your veins. “stop baby, you’re gonna get us caught.” he whimpers against your lips, reminding you of the ongoing party outside that door once again "god, we’re in trouble," you murmured breathlessly between kisses, your words barely breaking the rhythm of his tongue against yours.

"and you love it," he shot back, his voice low and teasing, his eyes glinting with a mixture of mischief and madness. he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, suggesting to continue this in a more private space.

[kawacake]

LOVE IS A GAME

Masterlist

Paring: SunaRin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Relationships, Suggestive content (pantie fucking, Reader had recently broken up with Atsumu, Cursing.

!!This will be made into a fanfic sooner or later!!

Listen to Don’t Wanna Fall in Love by KYLE while reading

SUNA Who stuck with you and helped you heal after you and Atsumu broke up.

SUNA Who spent the entire summer with you in your bedroom only leaving to go to his house and get more clothes.

SUNA Who pantie fucked you promising you that he won’t put it in if you don’t want him to but after would say we’re just friends and he didn’t want an actual relationship with you.

SUNA Who made you block Atsumu on everything and delete all the pictures of you and him to help you get over him quicker.

SUNA Who yelled at you after finding out that you and Atsumu were still in contact causing a fight between the two of you and ended with you throwing him out.

SUNA Who called you crying like a baby begging you to let him come back because he missed you and he couldn’t stand another second without you.

SUNA Who was now back in your bed holding you like nothing ever happened while his whole team flamed him and you for ‘talking’ to each other, but who cares because all he needs is you and all you need is him.

A/n: Haii so I’ll only be posting these for the next few days because I’m still working on a bunch of one-shots I have sitting in my GoogleDocs and I’m also working on my fanfics on Wattpad and if you wanted to check them out my Wattpad user is chosowife 🤧(Ntm it’s been my user since 2020), but yeah i will try and publish the one-shots as soon as I finish with them but yeah see you on the next post and please leave a heart and a comment byee mlll💕

[mosaickiwi]

Someone In Between; Something Intertwined

Your babyboi Rendacted (from @14dayswithyou) struggles to be himself in your new-ish relationship. Gender neutral reader c:

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

You haphazardly pushed a cart full of returned books across the library. It'd been such a long day. Elanor had called in sick, so on top of desk duty, both the morning and afternoon story times fell on you. The kids were well behaved—as well behaved as elementary schoolers could be, anyway—but by the time it finished you were at your limit. The only solace was that today was Friday, so you had the whole weekend to spend at your boyfriend's apartment. A smile bloomed on your face and you couldn't help but push the cart a little faster as you thought about them, surely waiting outside already. 

Ren, your tall, clingy, dark-haired-at-the-roots boyfriend. It'd been 5 months since you officially started dating, and 4 months since he'd been convinced to let go of the Haruko persona. It was agonizingly slow progress, you still didn't know him well—he came off a bit neutral sometimes, unsure how to act around you before reverting to Haruko or a blank slate to mirror you. But you were happy that small parts of the real him managed to peek through over the months, no matter how much time it took. And it was taking a long time.

As you opened the overflow room, you checked the clock on the wall. It was barely 4 minutes until the end of your shift. The cart bumped over the threshold when you pushed it in and locked the door. Once that was taken care of, you did a quick look over the computer and study areas, picking up scrap papers and trash to put in the bin before heading to the break room, then your desk to grab all your things. 

You took a peek in Conan's office to bid him goodbye. "I'll see you next week! Enjoy your weekend," you said with a cheery voice and walked towards the entrance.

"You too!" he called after you. 

The doors flew open and you practically skipped with relief out into the cool autumn air. You spotted Ren leaning against the brick of the building, dressed in their now-usual style of black on black on more black. His hair was partially tied up in a ponytail, most of it still a pastel pink that fell over his shoulders. From the low collar on his shirt, you could see he'd covered his tattoos with makeup, but a few of his piercings were in. He was trying, and that meant so much to you. His ocean blue eyes were focused on the phone in his hand, so he didn't notice you at first.

"Ren!" You sang out their name and bounced over to them. 

He looked up in surprise before quickly smiling. "I was just texting you," he said and put his phone in his pocket. "Hey, Angel."

"Hiiii," you said as you grabbed his hand, taking gleeful notice of the light blush forming on his cheeks as your fingers laced together. At first you used to think it was only his Haruko persona when he blushed at any contact—but it turned out they really liked holding hands. It was the first thing you learned to keep in mind about the real him. So you made sure to do it as often as possible. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's only 5:01."

"And I'm sure you got here much earlier," you teased him, earning his embarrassed agreement when he flushed a deeper pink.

"Just 20 minutes," Ren mumbled and changed the subject. "Did y'want to stop anywhere? We don't have to go straight to my apartment."

"Nope! Work's got me feeling lazy. I'm all yours for the rest of the night." With that, you stood on your toes to kiss his cheek. 

He kissed you back on the lips, his snake bites catching the light as he smiled. He didn't even try to hide how happy he was. "Good."

~

An hour later, you were sitting on his couch eating pizza, a horror movie on low in the background while you chatted. You'd gotten half the pizza with your favorite toppings and—with a lot of stubborn encouragement on your part—Ren had gotten what were supposed to be his favorites. There was some overlap with a few of them, but he swore up and down they were things he liked. 

"L-Lots of people like pepperoni," he insisted. "You can't be suspicious of that one. It's basic."

"You got more than pepperoni to be suspicious about. But, true. I'll allow it," you conceded and munched away at the last of your pizza slice.

"Besides, I'm not that picky about food."

You swallowed, thinking about the age old debate about pizza toppings. "Pineapple on pizza?" Right on cue, the next victim in the movie shrieked in bloody terror.

"I'd eat it," he said after a moment of thought.

"Oh. Anchovies?" The screams continued.

He was a little more confident on this one. "Yup." 

"What about the really weird toppings?" you asked. You inwardly grimaced as you vaguely remembered a weird picture Moth had sent.. "Like… corn and chocolate?" 

Ren made a face between confused and disgusted. "Together? On pizza? People eat that?"

"Maybe. Probably," you said and shrugged. You grabbed a napkin from the coffee table and wiped your hands, then stood to throw away your paper plate. "People eat plenty of weirder things."

He paused the movie and quickly followed you into the kitchen with his own plate; he'd finished eating a little bit before you. As he trailed you to the trash can, then the sink, he spoke honestly, "It sounds really… out there. I don't think I'd eat it."

"Hmm," you said as you pumped the soap dispenser. You weren't sure if his answer would change if you said you'd eat it—not that you would, ew—but it was nice for him to voice his own opinions without trying to hear yours first.

You felt him trap you against the counter and rest his chin on your head. His arms came around you, but he only began washing his own hands as you were doing. It was an oddly comforting position.

An easy silence fell over the two of you, only broken by the rush of water from the tap. Eventually, the water stopped and he grabbed a paper towel, quickly drying his hands. You expected him to move, but instead he grabbed another towel and started drying your hands for you. He seemed content, even humming quietly to himself. So you simply watched. His rough fingers were steady as he delicately went over every inch of your hands until they were completely dry. He wasn't even half as thorough with himself; it was cute.

"You're really touchy," you innocently blurted out.

Ren suddenly let go, as if he'd been burned. "S-Sorry, Angel. I should've asked—" He quickly backed off, putting distance between you two and fiddling with his sleeves.

You realized your mistake and turned around, shaking your head in apology. Without the persona as a barrier, he was more on edge about your reactions sometimes. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. Here—hand, please," you demanded and held out your own to him. He cautiously took it and you smiled, closing the space to pull him into a hug. "See? No harm done. Touchy is good. Wonderful, even."

Despite the blush on his face, he seemed relieved. "Really?"

"Almost as wonderful as corn and chocolate pizza," you teased.

He laughed for a moment before squeezing you against his chest. "There's no way you'd actually eat that," he mumbled above you and got even quieter. "I'm so sorry, Angel. 'M afraid you'll push me away one day."

His arms felt so nice wrapped around you, but his words broke your heart. "I'd never do that. I care about you, Ren. Okay?" you whispered into his shirt. Your fingers curled tightly into the fabric and you pressed on. "Not Haruko, not anyone else." His real name slipped out in a quiet whisper. "You."

A rather stressful sigh left him and he started rambling, "I'm trying my best. And I get what you mean, but it's hard t’believe you'd want me as I am. I'm less than perfect for you. Why would you want that?"

"I don't need or want 'perfect' like I'm a test you studied for," you huffed in frustration and looked up at them, shocked to find hurt and loneliness in their gaze. "I'm not mad at you!" you immediately sought to reassure him. "But I want to accept you like you've accepted me, warts and all. I'm not perfect either."

"Except that you are per—" he opened his mouth to protest, but the way your eyes narrowed had him choosing his final word carefully. "Are… person?" He pulled away to fiddle with the hem of his sleeve. "I just can’t trust you’d like me when I haven’t been myself that often. You don’t know me that well.” His bangs covered his eyes as he lowered his head and looked away.

“I like the parts I’ve seen,” you stubbornly declared and crossed your arms, rapidly firing off the list you kept in your head. “You sleep like a corpse, you’re a tease and a flirt—even worse in bed. You won’t give anyone the time of day but me, you like your coffee black but somehow have a ridiculous sweet tooth.”

“Angel.” They tried to get your attention, but you didn’t hear them. 

“Little things make you happy even though you’re a pessimist, a drama queen when you want to get your way, a smug, petty brat on top of that, a total fucking geek if I’m being honest—sometimes you get really excited and babble about tech I don’t understand—and the very first thing I learned—”

“Angel,” he interrupted a little louder with a touch on your shoulder and you snapped out of it. Gentle as could be, he pried your fingers away from your arm. You didn’t realize you were practically digging your nails into your skin from how riled up you were. “Okay,” he continued in a low voice, a tinge of awkwardness to it. “You know me, in some ways.”

You smiled up at him, just as self-conscious about your momentary rant. “You really, really like holding hands, too,” you quietly pointed out and wiggled your fingers in his grip. He hadn’t let go, not that you wanted him to.

“I didn’t think there was so much of me—the real me—that you cared enough to notice,” he said, idly tracing over your fingertips. The gentle touch comforted you.

“It’s all important to me. And it made me so excited when I could see those little parts of you," you admitted with a nervous laugh. “This is embarrassing, but I'd try to write down all the things I'd learn when I got home so I wouldn’t forget. But then I’d scribble and tear up the papers—I’d think to myself like ‘that’s creepy, stop it you weirdo.’ Isn’t it though? Taking notes on someone is a bit much.”

Ren seemed to piece something together in his mind before answering confidently, “Not at all, in fact it’s really cute. Who's studying for who, here?”

Heat flushed your cheeks and you blew out a silent breath from pursed lips. “I wasn’t studying. I was happy that you were being yourself! There are so many quirks or habits you don't realize that just make me fall more in… love… with you…?” You trailed off, eyes widening in tandem with theirs as you both processed what you'd just said.

The confused look on his face had you positive that his brain was malfunctioning. At least yours certainly was. “Ah—In love? Like you love me?” he asked in disbelief and repeated himself. "You love me?"

You nodded robotically, wanting to melt into the marble floor. You did love him. And all the little pieces that shined through the cracks in his act. You loved getting to know him, good and bad, bratty or sweet. Confessing to note taking already had you flustered, yet here you were, continuing to run your mouth and put it all out there. “Yeah... I love you,” you managed to say in spite of yourself.

He lifted you off the ground by your waist, drawing a weird squeaking noise you had surely never made before out of you. He didn't seem bothered as he sat you down on the counter and tenderly kissed your forehead. “I love you, Angel. More than anything,” he breathed out against your skin then pulled back. “I really love you.” His hand brushed stray hairs away from your face before he was cupping your cheek, staring at you for a long while with a shamelessly adoring smile. 

Sirens started blaring in your head the longer nothing happened, so you quietly asked, “Can you kiss me before more embarrassing stuff comes out my mouth?”

“Ahh, um, I’m kind of—overstimulated? Overwhelmed? I never thought I'd hear y'say you love me," he confessed with giddiness. "I can’t decide between teasing you or crying from happiness."

“If you tease me right now I’m going to be the one crying."

That got him to choose. Not a moment sooner, he finally kissed you. The sirens in your head quieted down, only to be replaced by butterflies in your stomach as your eyes closed. He was just as affectionate as he always was, but you could tell he had trouble holding his emotions back from the way his hand gripped your thigh. There was a trembling excitement to the gentle kisses he gave. Ren was clearly on cloud nine. His lips drew a feather light trail from the corner of your mouth up to your ear, barely tickling you as he lingered.

“Angel,” he whispered softly as his thumb traced circles on your leg.

You tilted your head to look at him, feeling pure bliss from his affection. “Hmm?”

“Don’t tear up your study notes next time. ‘Wanna read ‘em.”

“Noo!"