#i will now proceed to bonk myself

[oneirataxia-girl]

me when the obscure weapon I chose for Mari doesn’t have aesthetic pics:

[amypihcs]

Hello humans and statisticians!! First part of illustrious client! The comments were written while i was recovering by one of my worst headaches so... yep. trying to give myself as many happy chemicals as possible.

LET'S BEGIN! With a VERY PERSISTENT Watson that still in 1925 as he's stroking Holmes' hair and just generally cuddling him asks if he can publish this story.

AND HE SAID YES, GUYS! Watson asked for TEN YEARS. When he asked Holmes if he would marry him it only took ten seconds for Holmes to answer by kissing Watson silly. THIS. Is a couple goal.

Anyway, let's see what happened -stirs hot chocolate milk-

Uhm, don't you say, Watson, you both? And you have your favorite nook? AAh. 'Long, thin, nervous arm' check. Flirting by Watson check. Burritoed Holmes check.

Now what is in that envelope?

A CLIENT! and an important one! Both our husbands know him, apparently, he's a household name.

Of course, my dearest, it's OUR case. Now DO kiss me, Watson. I want this matter out of my head until 4:30 -Holmes who had been staring at his husband just as much as Watson.

liar.

You had to write this to make up with the scenes UP. I do believe you are in practice again, but there's no WAY IN HELL that you're not living with your husband after he pratically asked you to bugger him at the turkish baths.

Well, guy arrives at Baker Street in good time. A nice impression already.

He was prepared to find Watson, he thinks he'll be important for the case. He ticks all of the boxes Holmes requires to behave in his best way! Good!

W: See Holmes CAN be polite... mfg H: -SMOOCH- If people are polite to my Watson.

SO an austrian murder! Good, good! (Is Moran alive? bah!) What's he up to?

I LIKE this guy. he has good priorities! Holmes agrees as well!

W-what? No client's name? NO, I WON'T PLAY THIS GAME!

'Client': -puppy eyes- may i... please tell you the facts? H: k. I promise nothing.

PROCEEDS TO TRY AND ATTRACT HOLMES TO THE CASE. (That tactic would've worked better on Watson, but this is good.) AND WHAT THE HELL. Sexism. bah! Bonking them, at least apparently this girl is (usually) a nice one-

And now, in good substance...

Holmes... I see what you're trying to do. But you're wrong this time. It's not the general but a friend. Please don't investigate on IT (They'll do it in their free time in sussex. or on vacation -wink-)

WELL, HOLMES LIKES THIS CASE! ACCEPTED!

now, infoinfoinfo!

Holmes you don't need to sound so admired. Really, my man. Well, byebye, need to think!

-proceeds to dissociate for half an hour-

Earth to Holmes? Ah Watson! Ideas?

tbh Watson's idea isn't an evil one. But Holmes is more logic and he's probably right! Well, do you have a solution, Holmes?

Of course, my friend Johnson! Ah, the criminal one? YES, dear readers, Holmes HAS friends in the underworld. What, they're USEFUL! And probably know a lot of good places to have a relaxing evening!

fast-forward to the evening! Holmes is getting them to dinner at their favorite place!

So they dine and Holmes updates Watson! And then lets a thing slip...

And Watson gets ANXIOUS AND PROTECTIVE!

H: I'm sorry, love, i didn't tell you not to worry you, you know me W: You were in DANGER Holmes, are you alright? H: Of course i am, i'll tell you what happened

What was basically two men trying to scare each other away. Gruner gets very physical with the threats. He's used to have his enemies attacked... Holmes is NOT SCARED AT ALL! You kidding?

He recognizes the danger of course. And now wants cuddles because he was really a good detective. And wants to stay near Watson!

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 EP11 (Wink Of An Eye)

Bonk:

- Interesting starting with Scotty narrating

- McCoy not so subtly watching his boyfriends talking

- that’s less of an insect and more of a bug, like in life. That’s a real life computer bug. He just went into the backrooms

- Also one redshirt down

- Spock tilts his head at McCoy like. ‘I hope the doctor isn’t getting THAT old.’

- McCoy knows how to bait Jim into med bay

- The aliens know that Spock and Kirk go together

- KIRK DO NOT DRINK THAT COFFEE- too fucking late he’s done it now

- They gave Kirk drugs, didn’t they? Or not drugs? What is- oh my god she’s kissing him

- So Deela is moving faster and she made Kirk faster

- The gun will be too slow. Her gun is not too slow. I wonder what that will be like for the crew when Kirk’s phaser falls to the ground

- “Alright Compton… (crotch kick)”

- Well it was a false call to say the redshirt was gone in the beginning but since he’s dead now.. he’s dead now

- Deela and Rael look like Barbie and Ken

- Okay, I see you, costuming. Great job.

- “I suggest that you do not touch it.” Kirk proceeds to immediately touch it and then touches it longer

- “He’s trying to communicate with the Vulcan. His species is capable of much affection.” Yeah he loves Spock.

- They’re really… kissy

- I could see McCoy move lol

- The radiation made them like this? What in the Spider-Man science is this

- This is such a fucked up situation (this race of people got fucked over by their planet and then when they couldn’t find a way to return to normal they decided to make others like them so they could continue to breed and now their going to use the enterprise as their breeding grounds. Did I get all that right?)

- I love Kirk’s little hand shrugs

- Kirk using pretty privilege (the curl the curl oh my the curl)

- Mirror camera shot! of Kirk’s face! So cool!

- I hate Deela so much.

- Spock’s making a remix

- “And when I read it all I get is a whine.” The extra wh in that word

- McCoy and Spock watching their boyfriend, helpless on both ends

- Kirk threw a pillow at Rael and then fended him off with a chair. Survival 😃

- I would die so fast in this situation. I would start picking at my fingers or just knick myself. Probably trip

- She is awful. I hate her.

- Spock is going to accelerate himself. He does so without a second thought.

- Kirk does not fuck around

- HE JUST ACCEPTS SPOCK IS THERE NOW?!?

- “Do I displease you so much?” YES! okay but Kirk’s response is fire, “Oh no. I can think of nothing I’d rather do, than stay with you. Except staying alive.”

- Kirk and Spock will really just ingest anything McCoy makes without a second thought

- Spock gets to fix shit efficiently :)

- “Mr Spock, my compliments to your repair work and yourself.” “Thank you, captain. I found it an accelerating experience.”

- wait so did he just leave them there to slowly die off? Okay….

Masterpost

Teleplay by Arthur Heinemann

Story by Lee Cronin

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

Hi! You always reblog really nice posts about mental health and writing, and I wanted to ask for advice! I’m struggling to focus on my writing. I spend the day thinking about scenes I want to improve etc, and when I can finally write I start doing something else, and then I waste my time with stupid shit on social media instead of doing what I wanted so badly! Do you have any tips that help concentrating? I turn off my Wi-Fi at times but my brain just keeps telling me to go check twitter or whatever, and I fall for it every time. :/ I write so slowly I lose a lot of nice stuff I make up in my head, I really wanted to get better at this. I love your blog, hope I’m not being annoying!!! Xxx

I am so sorry for the late response to this. I've been wrapped up in offline things and wanted to give you the proper consideration you deserve. You are absolutely not annoying - I'm sorry I've left you hanging for so long!

In terms of concentration, I don't know that I'm the best person to ask. I have an ADHD diagnosis and my meds help me focus. That's the simple answer, which I don't think is what you're hoping for.

BUT that being said, even with my meds, I also do the social-media-instead-of-writing thing and I completely understand how frustrating it is. I have ideas! They're good ones! But they evaporate the second I open the document, and to console myself, I seek out the instant dopamine of tumblr and pinterest, feeling guilty the entire time.

My question for you: are you trying to write everything in a straight line, or are you making notes for whichever scene is currently in your head? If I love a scene but I'm not there yet in terms of the overall story arc, I'll write that as it comes. I think of it as quilting: I come up with scenes like fabric squares, and then I can arrange and stitch them together as the narrative dictates. Sometimes they don't fit, and that's okay. Not all the fabric gets used in the quilt, but the simple act of writing benefits the whole. No writing is wasted.

There was a post here on tumblr that changed my entire outlook on living with ADHD, and it also applies to writing. I can't find the post right now, but it had to do with "junebugging": instead of forcing yourself to do a specific task, ie the dishes, you put yourself in the vicinity of the task, ie the kitchen, and putter around until you eventually get your hands in the sink. In the past, I would have been vicious to myself, cursing myself for my failure to just do the fucking thing, but if I'm a junebug - big and striped and a little dumb - I can bob around the lightbulb, occasionally harmlessly bonking against the glass in my single-minded pursuit of light. It's not my fault my executive function is fucked. It's just the way my brain is wired. Might as well embrace it.

It works for my writing too. If I'm not feeling particularly linear, I'll open the document and poke at what I've already written, or I'll brainstorm new stuff, or stitch some scenes together. I'd love to say I do this without judgement, because my therapist would be proud of me, but although I've gotten much better, I am still working on the whole "radical acceptance" thing.

And radical acceptance: it's hard. It's really hard, but it's so, so necessary. It can be true that you desperately want to write while also being true that you would much rather check twitter. These are not mutually exclusive. I want you to let go of that guilt, if you can. Like we say in my support group, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

Look at your writing. Ask yourself what is stopping you, what's got you snagged like a sleeve on a doorknob. Are you not sure how to proceed? Does the scene in your head not fit with what you've already written? A piece of advice I got years ago: if you're having a hard time writing a scene, the problem doesn't exist with the scene itself, it exists three pages back. It's like trying to solve a maze: sometimes if you get stuck in a corner, you have to backtrack and find a new path. This might mean getting rid of something you've written - don't delete it. Don't delete anything. Open a blank document and copy/paste it in there. Label this document "bits and pieces". You might be able to use those bits - those quilt squares - later. Another piece of advice: what exactly is the story you're trying to tell? I'm having issues with my novel. It's ostensibly a murder mystery, but the mystery part wasn't coming together until I admitted it wasn't really a murder mystery, but a love story between the protagonists. Admitting that let me change my focus from the whodunit - which I hadn't connected with and felt forced to continue - to the developing relationship, with the whodunit as the vehicle. Now it's working a lot better.

The last thing I'll say is that you might be burnt out. That's okay. Muscles can push against a weight for only so long, and creativity is the same. Are you dreading opening that document? Take a break from it. Junebug. Work on something else. Take a shower. Clean the sink. Read something else you've written. Read something written by someone else. A farmer can't work the same field all the time without the soil getting depleted. It needs some fallow time and maybe a nice cover crop to recover. This is part of the process.

Be kind to yourself, my friend. I hear a lot of pain in your voice and I want you to know that it's all right. It's going to be all right. Even if you're not writing right at this second, you are still a writer. You will always be. Every writer that ever lived has gone through what you're going through. You're never, ever alone.

Take care, and let me know how it goes.

[guardian-angel-tsukasa-official]

Eh?

[... Tsukasa was not trained for this part.]

Hey hey hey, what's that talk for? You're definitely deserving of a guardian angel! You have one right in front of you! Which is me! Here, I'm knocking some sense into you!

[Tsukasa proceeds to lightly bonk Rui on the head with a pout.]

Hmph. Now, where was I...? Oh, right! I should give you the basics!

[Tsukasa proceeds to take out... a long list.]

This is just to keep myself on track- so what is a guardian angel, you may ask? Well, in short, it is my job to protect you from incoming threats and dangers! Speeding cars, lightning strikes, house fires, attackers- I can get you away from all those things! Plus more potential scenarios! And-

[Tsukasa looks at his list again.]

Uhh... we can also provide tips and advice on how to live a healthy lifestyle and maintain good mental health. Considering what I just flew into... erm...

... We'll get to it when we get to it!

[Today is his first day as guardian angel. No pressure. This should be a breeze. Sure, the things he's been told about this human are concerning, but Tsukasa is not one to back down from a challenge. He's not about to start now.]

Hmm… ah, there it is!

[Tsukasa flies right over to the human's house. If he recalls correctly, Rui Kamishiro is his name. Interesting name. Especially his last name. Very nice. His thoughts are wandering somewhere.]

[Tsukasa was not ready for the surprise he was about to be met with.]

…?!

[Everywhere he looks, it's a mess. Papers are scattered around, tools are all over the place… he's glad he's flying right now, otherwise he'd be tripping on something right this minute.]

[Tsukasa glances around until he spots Rui. That's the one he has to talk to.]

(Tsukasa, you've got this! First impressions are everything! You have to make sure your first words to this person mean something! The first meeting has to be unforgettable!)

GOOD GRIEF, YOU LIVE LIKE THIS???

(Aha! I nailed it!)

-@guardian-angel-tsukasa-official

(*rui had been deep in thought, multi-tasking between projects and notes that he was buried in-

so much so that he misses that there's a stranger in his house with him.. till the stranger raises his voice in judgement, of course.*)

..mm..?

(*rui raises an eyebrow as he takes in the unknown person before him.*)

..perhaps i've been working a bit too hard. my self conscious has materialized it's own entity to judge my life habits with.. nene would laugh at me if i told her.

[thevalleyoftriumph]

wah ok ill try 2 sleep now :) gnight everyone

[artemfication]

“MC goes Buzzfeed Unsolved with the demon brothers while fucking with the entire human realm internet!” Part 1

CW: swearing. Lots of swearing, mentions of death/murder, all the typical stuff related to summoning entities, haunted places, live streaming, not proof read.

MC goes ghost hunting in the human realm

“What’s up everyone, it’s…around five in the afternoon, I just arrived at this abandoned school, which is said to be haunted by the students who were murdered by the janitor if they stayed too late. I heard about it from some people who went here before and so, I decided to check for myself! I got my ghost communicator with me, my camera, extra batteries and my camping gear, so we’re going to spend the night and see what happens!” MC turns the camera to the view ahead of them as they approach the school and takes some nice shots from the building as a whole. They decided to make it a live video instead of an edited one so all the raw footage would be there for everyone to see. It’s quite misty already as it’s fall, dead leaves scattered across the ground and the enormous trees stand leafless on the side of the concrete school walls. Once MC reaches the door, they slowly push it open, triggering the creaking sound. The chat is going crazy with anticipation and are asking them to explore the school.

“You guys ready to set up camp to spend the night?”

Chat enthusiastically tells them they’re all ready, before MC starts putting all of their stuff behind the secretary desk next to the school’s entrance.

“”Why do you always go by yourself?” I don’t really have a reason for that to be honest. Perhaps it’s because I don’t get scared easily? Hmm…I’m not even so sure myself. But the thrill of doing all this alone it probably what makes it worth doing these kind of livestreams!”

“Oi MC, is there really no way ya can just spend the holidays in Devildom?”

“I would have loved to, but I got to make the content too y’know. Don’t worry I’ll be back before you know it! In the mean time, why don’t you study up on the place I’m camping at? You gotta make it all believable for the humans to get a good scare.”

“I gotta say, you’re videos are way better than the series “I died while saving a cat from an incoming train and now I’m the guardian angel of a ghost hunter, but he believes I am an actual ghost so now I have to do ghosty things”, I can’t wait to see how your next video is going to turn out.”

“MC, don’t forget the promise about the food…”

“No worries Beel, I got you! When I travel back, I’ll make sure to pick up some additional fast food on the way.”

Looking back on their time in Devildom, they smile as they remember how the seven brothers and the Purgatory crew always tried to stall them from leaving. Making many promises to ensure their return and trying to become their favorite.

“Hmm…does the building still have electricity?” They mumble in wonder and plug in the charger of one of the battery chargers. A faint buzz can be heard, but surprisingly the building does have electricity.

“Oh right, I heard that in one of the classrooms a student got killed, there was said to be a drawing of a pentagram of some sort. I’m not sure if it was done by students themselves, as this building has been visited by other people or if some mad ass cult tried to summon Caspar the friendly ghost. But hey, if we can make use of that, why not try it out?”

To the rest of the human world, MC might be the craziest person in existence. Why would you giggle and bat your lashes in front of a possible demon, while filming with some tiny 4K camera for a living?

Chat is losing it and trying to predict any possible outcomes, some saying it’s a hoax while others try not to claim any evil energy.

MC is casually looking around the empty hallways that echo their footsteps as they proceed deeper inside the enormous building which was once a boarding school.

A sudden bonk makes MC jump and they look around to find any movement or clue about the source of the sound. When there is nothing but silence, they start discussing with chat what it could’ve possibly been. Some suggest something breaking, like a part of the vent, or perhaps something that fell from the wall. Some say it could just be a window or door slamming shut.

“A-alright, how about we go back to camp, eat something and perhaps I could tell you a fun story about the underworld, hmm?” MC won’t lie and say that was an unexpectedly scary moment, even for them.

“Y’know how I filmed with this other ghostuber a while back? I recently spoke to him again and he told me he completely stopped with the ghosthunting videos. He was way too freaked out when he went with me, holding his holy watergun and saying prayers. I guess encountering an actual demon was a but too much for him…do you think it was because I challenged the demon to take my soul? Mmh…? “Didn’t you sell your soul to capitalism?” Fuck you’re right, my poor wallet and my back, why must I suffer like this while I’m still so young!? Let’s not talk about the fucking minimum wage and the damn prices of homes! I’m sorry god, I said damn, won’t happen again, oh wait fuck I just said it the second time, nevermind…” the sudden sound of a door closing makes MC jump a little and they fall silent instantly, turning off their light and looking over their shoulder as they try to catch another sound to identify the presence of another person. The bang echoes through the building.

“God if that was you, I deserved that.” MC whispers, mentally apologizing to Simeon and Luke for provoking their lord, while chat is kekeing in the comments. They absolutely love to see their favorite ghoststreamer suffer. MC once tripped over absolutely nothing and the day after, people had made memes of them falling, spreading them all over the internet. Even the demon brothers got ahold of them and frequently use them in their groupchat. Mammon tried capitalizing on the meme, but failed as they were already everywhere. Took MC a week to get him out of his sulky mood about lost Grimm. But some cuddles made it better.

“Okay so this is the point where we start whispering, y’know…because now that it’s dark, there’s a big chance entities will start becoming active through the soul of those murdered students…” MC gulps quietly as they silence themselves to catch any sound. It is deadly quiet for a few moments until MC hears the faint sound of footsteps. They continue for a while and they dare to guess it comes from the stairway.

“Fuck…I think those were actual footsteps…it might be the ghost of the janitor…looking for anyone who is still up past curfew…” quickly turning off the light, they sneak a peek around the corner of the frontdesk, but they are met by an empty hallway with lockers on the side as usual. The sound has faded and it is as quiet as it was before.

“Shit, shit, shit, okay…we need to find a way to not run into the janitor…if it is the actual ghost. I have no idea how we’re going to be able to identify him, but I do know that the janitor’s room is on the second floor….”

“Ah there you are!”

Part 2

[calehenituseappreciation]

Tommy thinking Sam Nook and Sam are two different people would lead to such funny senarios.

Especially if you apply this logic to everyone.

what if mexican dream and quackity are the same people and that was just him making fun of dream and making tommy laugh and tommy genuinely thinks dream killed mexican dream and that hes a different person

and when ranboo pretended to be killed by clarencio

he just doesnt realise

he thinks girl dream is someone else too

tubbo genuinely has a bunch of personalities and so he thinks theyre all different people (and also he doesnt realise theyre the same people a lot)

sam, in his normal voice: tommy do you have the- tommy, crying: what happened to sam nook?

sam proceeds to live as sam nook around tommy because he once tried to tell tommy sam nook isnt real and he started sobbing and so sam cant

sapnap, approaching sam on the site: hey sam can you do this for me? sam: su- tommy, running up: SAAAAAAM!? sam, in the sam nook voice: hello tommy! sapnap: wtf??? tommy: this is sam nook! :D have you met him? sapnap: what? thats just s- sam: shakes his head, behind tommy where he cant see sapnap: uhhhhh sam: takes out sword sapnap: h-hi sam nook! tommy: :D

sam is not the only person this happened to. 

tommy: technoblade???? techno, sneaking into l'manberg: uhhh techno, in a highpitched voice: no this is Clarencio tommy: the llama? techno, in high pitched voice: no the pig tommy: hmmm techno: sweats tommy: smiles brightly ok!!!! techno, under his breath: that worked??? tommy: wanna hang out with me? techno, in high piteched voice: i really need to go tommy: buttttttt :(

technoblade proceeds to have to pretend to be clarencio the pig and hang out with tommy all afternoon

phil, coming to check on techno: techno? techno, in a frilly pink dress, in a high pitched voice: hi tommy: phil!!!! have you met clarencio??? but not the llama!!! clarencio the pig!!! phil, holding back a laugh: is that so?

(defenitly happened before he got exiled, i refuse to change my mind)

everytime techno is caught he says hes clarencio (the pig) and tommy vouches for him each time and no one is able to bring themselves to tell him that clarencio (the pig) doesnt exist

sam nook, :handshake: clarencio the pic, :handshake:  mexican dream, (not girl dream) not being able to tell tommy their not real bc hed cry

IMAGINE IF TOMMY WAS GIVEN THE JOB OF LIKE BEING THE BORDER PEOPLE WHILE HE WAS WILBURS VICE BEFORE THE ELECTION AND PEOPLE WOULD JUST FAKE IDENTIES AND TOMMY WOULD JUST BELIVE EVERYONE

quackity: i demand to be allowed to join l'manberg! wilbur: ur american quackity: i shpould still be allowed! wilbur: just say your not, thats what everyone does quackity: what wilbur: just make a fake identity?? quackity: youre... the president???? wilbur: yeah and?? quackity: shouldnt you not be be endorsing that??? wilbur: i made tommy the border person. you think i care? quackity: sksksks quackity: still bad tho

the only one tommy never believes is dream, no matter what, he can just tell when someone is dream, like ya know those police dogs? the only reason he didnt realise girl dream was because girl dream is girl dream he thought it was just a dream thing

TOMMY THINKS BAD AND MONOCHROME BAD ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE

monochrome bad: tommy tommy: whomst? bad: oh uh recolourfies tommy, screaming: WHAT THE FUCK

tommy doesnt have object permanence but for people

techno, while tommy is staying with him: leaves room tommy, crying: I had a big brother once, i dont remember him tho

phil leaves them and (while stabbing wilbur) tommy just doesnt realize its him until techno says "dad?"

quackity works at wendys and tommy goes there everyday but doesnt realise its quackity

tommy went there since the war ended

and at the time didnt realise tommy cant tell and so when he and tommy started a mafia and became friends he thought tommy knew who he was and tommy once suggested going to dennys and quackity is like 'oh my god' and tommy is like my friend works there!!! and then they go to the one quackity works at and quackity is like 'haha funny' and then tommy asks around and then turns to quackity sadly like "my friend isnt here today D:" and then quackity is like o h

tommy, towards sam, in sams house: sam!!!!!! sam, who was sleeping, in his normal voice: w-what? tommy: sam!!! :D sam: hey tommy yawns whyd you wake me up? tommy: sorry but i really needed to ask you a question!!! sam: did you want to ask me where sam nook is again? tommy: welll.. that too but!!! you should meet sam nook!!!! sam: what tommy: please please please sam: no go back what did you ask? tommy: you need to meet sam nook! i think you'd be friends!!! :D sam, internally: shit sam: uhhh i dont really think i should- tommy: pleaasee uses puppy eyes sam: sure sam, internally: why did i say yes????

sam then has to pretend to be sam and sam nook at the same time

tommy: you're gonna love sam nook sam!!!! sam: uhuh tommy: where is he? :( sam: uh maybe hes behind you tommy: turns around to look sam: runs to other side of tommy sam, in sam nook voice: hello tommy!!! tommy: sam nook! have you met sam??? hes right here!!! gestures to sam who has to run behind him again tommy: sam say hi!!! sam, panting, in normal voice: hi tommy: whyre you all out of breath and shit???

this,,, just continues for a while

quackity, watching this exchange, driunking juice: sucks to suck sam: you'd do the same quackity: no. mexican dream is dead lol tommy, only hearing the last part: cries i miss mexican dream quackity, feeling sad: uh- we can revive him maybe? tommy: wipes tears YEAH! sam, whispers to quackity: told you so quackity, hisses to sam : shut up

quackity then has to pretend to revive himself while running around also he has to steal another one of dreams masks

honestly in this au everyone would hear about what happened during exile and stab dream (while pretending to be other people because ig in this au tommy still thinks dream was once his friend and yeh)

tommy, after crying infront of sam nook and telling him what dream did to him: so.. sniffs do you have any more quests for me to do? sam nook: i have one more quest tommy, cheering up: what is it!! sam nook: for myself tommy, confused: what is it? sam nook, taking out a glock: homocide

insanebur: you want to know why no one listens to you tommy? tommy, pouting, on the verge of tears: What? insanebur, unable to finish, clutching his heart: your too cute

this is just au where tommy is baby huh

wilbur isnt mad schlatt exiled him- hes mad he exiled tommy

schlatt and dream are the only ones not affected by tommys baby vibes and thats their downfall

tommy just has to call everyone a nickname, once, and everyone is melted

niki and jack: tommy is the fault of all our probelms we should kill him puffy: he. bonk is bonk baby bonk niki and jack: look over at tommy tommy, with sam in the distance: cries to sam because he cant find sam nook niki and jack: okay... maybe we should be less... violent...

Sam rlly just went

sam: looks at tommyinnit sam: nothing bad will ever happen to this child ever again

huh?

I’ve named this au, au where hes baby ur honour

tommy: i had zero parents (who care) tommy, gestures to puffy and sam: NOW I HAVE TWOOOOOOO

insanebur: god i fucking hate everyone tommy: even me? insanebur: except you tommy

sam: I AM THE TOMMY GAURDIAN! GAURDIAN OF THE TOMMY! sam @ anyone who wants to hurt him: FUCK OFFF

tommy canoanically understands the animal crossing language

ranboo: i can speak enderman! tommy: well i can speak creeper

whenever tommy gets overwhelemed around sam he burys himself he asks sam to cover for him in creeper

okay thats enough of that

[jadedadultritsu]

I was able to read 10 ch's (ch. 171-180) of 2HA last night (I'm lying 'twas around 3 am when I finished) after putting it on hold for so long to focus on work ig, but the guilt consumes me and and there was an earthquake earlier and I hate myself for thinking, "oh uhm good for RanWan. They must've been bonking real rough with this much intensity." I, too, want to beat myself up for that. 🙈

Did.. did Meatbun just wrote RanWan's confession on a flying sword just so CWN's tsun-tsun ass won't go anywhere else cuz as soon as they landed to the ground CWN was like 🚶🏻‍♂🏃🏻‍♂😖💥🌳😵💫💫💫 crashes straight into a tree and all the dignity he has long since been keeping flushes down the toilet. 🙈🙉🙊 Oh man, they're senior citizens middle-aged men (sorta for MWY; mentally 30ish and physically 23ish) and! they! still! act! LIKE TEENAGERS IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!! >/////< 😍💓💕💖

MWY calls CWN "stupid WanNing(cat🐱)" (sir, ur not as smart as u think either but u prolly already know that) for being selfless and enduring in both lifetimes and MWY proceeds to have an emotional breakdown once again cuz CWN is unaware of his previous misdeeds. 🥺🥺🥺 I mean, that's ok!!!!!! If u know how to behave properly now as the top in the rship. 🥺🥺 Although 100+ ch's ago, I recall of wanting to enter the book and strangle the shit outta u.

[irgmugurg]

Belphie's Music Taste

Mammon's Music Taste

Asmodeus's Music Taste

Belphie listening to lofi songs is simultaneously the cutest and funniest thing that I’ve ever heard.

Aw is the bratty little cowboy gonna listen to windchimes and sparkles. Yes. Yes, he is.

Aight hear me out. JUST LISTEN

Belphie listening to country music.

HE HAS THE COWBOY AESTHETIC ALREADY MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY.

He’d start it as a joke but he’d gradually love falling asleep to the slow drawl of the music.

he thinks their super cheesy but proceeds to press play

"ugh more country music?" *clicks play*

Or even listening to those sad country army songs about being soldiers and missing your family

He 100% relates these songs to Lilith and having to fight for/against the celestial realm.

AT SOME POINT he’s layed with Beel and they both cried about country music/Lilith (think If Your Reading This and a bunch more by Tim McGraw, Arlington, and Your Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins)

Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlise. FUCK. I’M GOING TO CRY.

I know some of these songs are from the point of view of a daughter and their dad but Belphie can’t help but think of being able to grow up and show Lilith how the world has changed.

Doesn’t even care that most of country songs are religion-based and yeah sometimes he gets so angry at Father for what he took from him but he remembers that now Lilith is up there still. Doesn’t make it hurt any less though.

Wishes he could still hold her, see her grow up, him and beel being her best men at her wedding, connecting the human and celestial realm

listens to circus songs and fucking cries

NICKELBACK. (he isn’t THAT bad okay, sometimes his songs SLAP) ((lullaby,,,belphie relates this song to his feelings of overwhelming anger in the attic)

Falling asleep holding each others hands, reminiscing about Lilith and the times they had together.

Mammon and satan, just to piss him off, played the wild west theme songs (The Good The Bad The Ugly theme) whenever he walked in a room and he would go demon mode (only for them to laugh harder, cowboy looking ass)

gets embarrassed if you hear him listening to country music

changes the song quickly, he can't have people knowing he genuinely likes it

listened to If I Die Young once and thought of Lilith

proceeded to block all mentions of this song

Anyway LOFI MUSIC.

He loves how soft and sweet it is even though it doesn’t match his “style”.

This motherfucker can be berated by Lucifer and he’ll put on headphones and just watch Lucifer scream at him and only hear soft Lofi music.

Lofi hip hop, Jazz, pop. He does not discriminate.

Very often gets the beats and small portions of the lyrics stuck in his head.

LOVES Shiloh Dynasty and all the remixes

But that is not the only thing that Belphie listens to. Oh no, definitely not.

Loves nightcore. Alvin and the Chipmunks who?

Alternatively likes listening to slowed down songs

Listens to the front bottoms and thinks about punching lucifer in his face

OUCH! By Matt Watson

HE LISTENS TO SCREAMO AND EMO MUSIC.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, SLEEPING WITH SIRENS, PIERCE THE VEIL.

Emo headass.

Is very much stuck in the 2010s (probably the last era he was able to listen to before getting locked in the attic and since getting out has been stuck there) and if MC introduces him to any more then even 2020 music.

It’s the emotions that he relates so heavily to but it also helps him stay awake to do tasks.

His turn to do dishes? Unearthly screaming comes from the kitchen. Please don’t worry he is just vibing.

He has the screamo voice. He doesn’t use it often because I don’t see Belphie as someone to sing along, more bopping to the music and swaying, MAYBE mumbling under his breath but nothing more.

Will do it with Lucifer around just to fuck with him

Why is the thought of Belphie on stage, smudged mascara, black leather clothes and screaming on the top of his lungs hot????

would 100% let you dress him up in that outfit but acts like he doesn't like it

Stop *bonk* being *bonk* a *bonk* belphie *bonk* simp *bonk*

He doesn’t like making playlists because its so much work so if he puts on Lofi to go to sleep to and he will stay sleeping on wild screamo music.

Listens to it most in the attic because that’s where a FUCKTON of his resentment/rebellious vibes come from and because he doesn’t want to bother Beel while they are sleeping.

Asshole probably doesn’t use his headphones anywhere else tho.

Asmodeus and Mammon don’t understand him but they love him nonetheless.

*demonic screeching* “Okay sweetie don’t forget about the student council meeting later today <3”

If Mammon vibes with a song he WILL scream along, incoherently though because he doesn’t know the lyrics.

Beel just kinda sits there. Doesn’t get it either but loves seeing Belphie look so at peace.

Old man lucifer “is that what you kids listen to today?” (but can he talk?? really?? listening to cursed records bc iTs InTeReStInG)

Satan gets it the most out of anyone else. When they have Anti Lucifer-League meetings Belphegor puts on the most rebellious, and relatable (for their cause) at least, songs and they both scream the lyrics.

he isn't shy showing these songs to you but has once attempted to show off his emo scream please don't laugh at him

OKAY BUT CLEANING UP THE LIVING ROOM WITH BELPHIE WHILE YOU BOTH SCREAM IS SO CUTE

Trophy Father’s Son by Sleeping With Sirens, Can You Feel My Heart, Keep Myself Alive, Sleepwalking by Bring Me The Horizon, Last Resort by Papa Roach, A LOT OF LINKIN PARK, Monster by Skillet, and OF COURSE Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

He probably wouldn't listen to wolf in sheeps clothing but *pointing* THATS HIM

Belphie has spent time crying over these songs. On late nights when he can’t sleep he cries about how he thinks Lucifer doesn’t love him and blames him for Lilith’s death. How MC must really hate him for how he’s acted. How different he is from his brother’s. (part of why he won’t listen to it in front of Beel)

please hold him and promise him that you don't hate him

He also LOOOOOVVES classical music but due to his history with it will not listen to it.

Aka how he used to lay on lucifer’s lap while he plays lullabies for him.

If Lucifer is playing classical music in the area tho? He can’t help but suddenly feel really sleepy. And no he didn’t fall asleep close enough to hear Lucifer scribble away on his paperwork (Lucifer knows he does and always has a blanket ready for when this happens).

lay with him and if you listen very carefully you can hear him mumbling the lyrics under his breath as he runs his fingers through your hair

One of my biggest things about belphie is that he is really smart even though he doesn’t like to put in the effort.

He likes to dissect these songs (typically passing thoughts and really paying attention, he won’t put to much effort into it) and get into them and it backfires because that means he’s really listening to these lyrics and it hits him THAT much harder. (STICKING LITTLE WHITE FLOWERS ALL UP IN HER HAAAAAIIRRRR)

End Note: Belphie doesn't have the largest music selection but the songs he listen to either help him sleep or makes him get all up in his feelings (bc he is emotionally stunted and its the only way he can cry).

[shorkbrian]

QUESTION!! Do you think kirishima, and bakugou (separate pwease) love there darling for there personality or are just doing it for there body? I feel like kirishima would love them lowkey for personality only but gets worked up and excited when he sees there body bc he knows only he gets his love like that. Bakugou? I’m iffy with him on that. Thank u wuv!

 Well, they both have similar idk... ideals? hmmm but lowkey hmmm idk how else to describe so

Bakugou would first notice his darling because of their personality. They might be rough and ready-to-rumble, always willing to fight and not hesitating to throw the first punch. Maybe they’re loud and brash and snappy, just like him. Whatever he dishes out, they can take it, throw it right back in his face. It’d probably shock him the first time, make him do a double take. From then on his attention would be constantly drawn to them, always trying to rile them up or doing aggressive shit that they would call him out for - during training he likes to grapple and wrestle, he knows they can take it.

But maybe.... his darling is shy? sweet, gentle. Like Midoriya, but something is different. He’d probably be marching over, on his way to bully Midoriya when he spots them - so nervous and gentle and kind and pretty. He’ll feel that sadistic urge bubble up inside him; he wants to see them cowering from him, covered in tears and snot and doing whatever he tells them to do. Bakugou would never admit that the softer, calmer side of himself grew to care for them, wanted to hold and cuddle and provide.

I don’t think Bakugou would be someone who gets easily distracted by physical features - sure, a lot of people have nice bodies, but Bakugou doesn’t care. He only starts to notice the appeal of the human body after meeting his darling.

It won’t matter what they look like. But since Katsuki is such a big health nut he will constantly be judging and checking and snooping to how his darling is taking care of themselves. Not eating enough? They’ll get bonked in the back of the head with a granola bar. Stress eating? Bakugou will come throw whatever his darling is eating into the trash, ripping it out of their hands and grumbling about how bad chips are. (God he would be sooooo annoying I would just wanna wring his little neck)

Pray that he never squirrels you away, keeping you on a strict, healthy diet (not too little, but not too much either) He’d be super into forcing you to workout with him, for the sake of good health. Truthfully he just wants to see you in tight workout gear.

He might even try to rip it off later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirishima would notice his darling first and foremost because of their cute little body. He sees them walk into class and immediately gets smitten, asking his classmates who the new kid is and what their name is and if anyone knew them could Kiri please get their number? Kaminari and Sero’s horny chatter about “fuckable celebrities” makes the redhead very in-tune with what he finds attractive. And honestly? He loves it all. Tall, short, thin, round? Yes to everything.

BUT when he saunters over at lunch and slides his tray next to theirs, he finds out how charming they are, and he is absolutely enthralled. Kiri could sit and listen to them talk for hours on end - he thinks that they would probably be able to make algebra seem pleasant just by talking about it. The dude wants to just sit and bask in their presence for as long as he can, likes the subtle whiffs of their scent, finds the flash of their teeth as they smile to be so adorable!

He notices that his darling doesn’t seem to be super aware of the effect their body has on everyone, specifically him. They’ll lean across their desk as they chat with a friend, school uniform stretching perfectly over their butt. Maybe they have a tendency to always be falling asleep, unaware of the eyes oogling their form. Kiri always is blessed enough to catch them stretching, legs spread wide or twisted in some complicated position. It drives him absolutely wild with desire.

To put it simply, Kiri is head-over-heels with every single aspect of their being. He doesn’t deny his massive crush (obsession), and it’s almost common knowledge that if he could, Kirishima would absolutely fuck the shit out of his darling. He gets teased more about the fact that he would be an absolute pushover for them afterwards. The redhead would carry them afterwards, kiss their forehead, make them hot soothing drinks and cuddle them to death as they talked about everything and nothing.

If only his darling wasn’t so oblivious, maybe his dream could become a reality. 

Oh well, it’s not like there weren’t other ways for him to get what he wants.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In short, there are sooooo many ways to write them. I think a villain Bakugou would actually be really mean and into degrading and humiliating his darling about their body, shaming them for things he actually is quite fond of.

Villain Kiri would get absolutely enamored by his darling, but for some reason they dress in the ugliest, most horrible clothing ever? And they’re always bundled up and they look so lumpy and weird but ah, he doesn’t care. They were nice to him that one time (genuinely nice) and so he’s kidnapping them. When Villain Kiri gets them home an d cuts those ugly clothes to pieces, he finds himself the most delicious treat underneath. Proceeds to punish his darling for trying to hide themselves away like that, but also can’t help but go easy and be soft because he’s the only one who’s ever seen them without all those layers.

AHHHHH see there are just so!! many!! possibilities!!

I am stopping myself now, fingers? no typey.

thenk

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Ultimate Hope, Ultimate Rage: Part 2

GRGH!

DECK!

*Hajime and Ayumu simultaneously rush in at each other, each of them delivering the other a straight blow to the jaw at the same time. The force of the impact they created before hand created a vortex in the water, keep the boat on it’s slanted position. Due to their field now on it’s side, the battle becomes a little more hectic.

ARIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRIRI!!!

ATATATATATATATATATATATATATAa!!!

*The two proceed to throw a flurry of punches and counters at each other, neither side making any inch of backing down!

KEH!

HAAH!

UGH!

*Amidst the chaotic flurry, Ayumu almost warps behind Hajime and attempts to hit him, but Hajime reacts too fast and smashes Ayumu in the face with his fist!

Don’t look down on MEEEEEE!!!!

AAAGH!

*Within seconds of facing this attack however, Ayumu returns a similar attack to Hajime’s face with his foot!

RAGAAH!

*Ayumu takes the opportunity to rebalance himself and as soon as he does, he palms Hajime’s face and rushes forward smashing his head into the wall!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

GAAAGH! RGGGH! DAAAGHAGAH!!!

*Ayumu does not give Hajime even a second to react before beating down on him! He bends his body in a way that gives more power to his swing, as he uppercuts Hajime in the jaw, followed by another that smashes his face straight into the wall!

...!

*Noticing one of the metal panels on the wall is loose, Ayumu grabs it, lifts it up, and attempts to smash Hajime over the head with it!

...hrrgh! GAAAAH!

AAAHA!

*Hajime musters up his strength and uppercuts the metal plate. It goes flying out of Ayumu’s hands and into the ocean!

*PANT!* *PANT!* GH-GAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!

Oooh boy, he’s losin’ it...

*Akira backs up a little, and is right to do so given what follows.

DAAGH! BRAAAGH! GAAAGH! AH GAH DAH! RAGH! NGAHG! AAAGH! DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

!!!!

*Hajime isn’t even able to scream in pain, as Ayumu just WHALES on him! He takes punch, after punch, after bunch, and is almost beaten to a bloody puddle! Ayumu’s punches are consecutive and strong! Until...

YRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!!!!

!!!!

*Despite the pressure being on him, Hajime musters up every ounce of strength left in him, and somehow counterattacks. He punches Ayumu straight in the face, and sends him flying back! Blood shoots out of all the kids orifices on his face!

!!!

*It takes an instant for Hajime to once again get in front of Ayumu, who is still airborne from the last attack. He punches him in the gut, shooting him upwards, and overshoots him back down the yacht’s tilted surface. 

...

Gh...

*Hajime stands above Ayumu, who remains glaring at him from the ground. The attack from Hajime was enough to knock all the wind out of him, and he needs a second to get back up, which he simply doesn’t have.

...

*sigh*

*However, for some reason, just as it looks like Hajime is about to land a final attack, he stops and lowers his stance.

Alright. That’s enough for now.

H-Huh?

*Hajime turns his back and casually begins to walk to the side of the boat.

Wh-What are you doing!? Finish me off already! You’re inches away from ending me, and you’re just gonna quit while you’re ahead!

...And if I am?

For fucks sake, will you make up your mind already! I only need a few seconds before I can force myself to keep going! What’s stopping me from taking you down now that you’ve missed your chance!

I don’t need to take you down. I’ve already effectively won.

Huh?

Though, I guess with how I’ve obtained victory here, it’s hard to say which of the two of us is the real winner...

What are you talking about!? Are you always this indecisive about everything? Can you never muster the courage to finish what you’ve started!? First the hostages and now this-!

*BONK!*

OW!

*Hajime gently karate chops Ayumu on the head. Well, gently as Hajime can anyway.

Listen to me young man. If I thought for even a second that those people were in danger, this fight would not have happened.

But the hostages-

Are all being taken care of as we speak.

Wh-What!?

I mean...just take a look.

Wh-Wha-!?

*Hajime goats Ayumu to the side of the boat. From his view, as the boat slowly begins to level again, he can see the hostages that were being kept on the yacht making their escape in some lifeboats. Not only that, but Ayumu’s own UUV soldiers are unconscious, yet being safely carried away.

Isn’t that nice of them? Clearly they’re not as corrupt as you think they are, given that they’re sympathetic enough to save your allies from drowning.

Oh, and I feel you should know that the hostages that you kept in the conference building and the ones you kidnapped on the helicopter are probably safe by now as well.

You...already saved them...!?

Nope. I didn’t do anything. Neither did any of my friends. Our mission was simply to subdue you and your friends, not save the hostages.

But then...HOW!?

How? Well, they did exactly what you told them to do.

You mean they-!?

That’s right, they saved themselves.

All we really did was take out the big guns, AKA, you and your friends. The hostages themselves dealt with all of the smaller jobs. For these guys, if I had to take a guess, I’d say the chaos from our fight out here ruffled up the guards inside. They must have used their unrest as an opportunity to escape.

Things went exactly as you planned them Ayumu. You should be proud of yourself.

*Ayumu suddenly collapses and covers his face with his hands.

Ayumu!?

Oh thank GOD!

...You look relieved...And you know, I’m really beginning to wonder which side was really the hostage...

And it’s because of that I have to ask...What are you doing here Ayumu Fujimori...?

...

You know, I can’t help you if you don’t let me.

Then I won’t let you...

...

...

Pfft...So you’re just gonna cut things here out of spite, huh? I know you’re better than that...

Shut up...You aren’t me, you’re nothing like me dammit...You know nothing...

From an experience standpoint well...I guess we are a little different on that front. But not being like you...not knowing anything about you? I’m not so sure about that...

I understand what Despair arises from losing someone that you love, like you did with Marin...It was the same for me when I lost Chiaki...and I had to live through that three times...Although...

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we shouldn’t focus on the Despair in the past and the present. We should instead focus of the shining bright of the Future’s Hope.”

...! H-How do you-!? Who told you-!?

Oh, I guess you forgot that I had a nice little chat with Marin in an interrogation room. She told me quite a lot.

What else did she say...? “These talents and this strength are nothing more than a weapon. No…Actually, they’re more of a shield. I just won’t be able to save people if I can’t save myself.”

S-Stop it! Y-You’ve already won, what are you-!?

Oh, she also told me that your biggest fear is neglection and sorrow…It’s not a matter of people looking down on you. It’s just that you worry about dragging others down and how you don’t feel you compare to your more capable-

SHUT UP! Don’t quote me to myself! I know EXACTLY what I said! I don’t need the Closing Argument thanks!

JUST ARREST ME ALREADY! YOU! FUCKING! WON!

Heh...If only “winning” was as easy as throwing a few punches and saying a few words.

The only thing I want to do right now is to help you kid. For the sake of all the people who love you, I want to bring back the man who brought them together. The man who said those heartfelt words to the them and roused so many people to a single cause, despite being so young. 

Problem is I don’t recognize him anymore...

You look the same...You SOUND the same...but your eyes...and all this rage...it’s not you, Ayumu Fujimori.

Empty words coming from a man who doesn’t take even the most important questions seriously...! Don’t pretend to reminisce me. In case you didn’t realize, I said those things back when I was first starting out, so my ideals aren’t exactly “up to date.”

Maybe you’re right...but that’s the you that I choose to remember...Whether you do or not...

And no matter what you’ve done...No matter how many people in the world will hate you for what you’ve done...You still deserve saving...

No I don’t...I don’t...!

I don’t care if that side of me is the one that you choose to remember...That side of me is gone, and it has been for a while...You missed your chance...

...

I-If you really wanna help me...Or if you just want to grasp at straws finding a way to save that already long gone side of me then just...

Stop...Ok? None of it matters anymore. 

...It matters to me...

It matters to us.

It matters to Aruma, Kego, Mitsunari and Mikoto...

And it mattered to Marin as well.

...!

I can’t give up on you Ayumu...Not when I have a promise I need to keep to Marin.

I’m gonna be completely straight wit you Ayumu. You and I are really very much the same...

We both were oppressed by the people in power who we looked up to...We both had a nagging desire to be something more, but only decided to do something with it once we were past the breaking point thanks to some asshole...We wanted to mean something to people. Because we didn’t want our friends being looked down upon because of us.

In the end it was a mistake, and you and I both watched our best friends die right in front of us...Proof enough that even with the power, and the talents, we’re still the same helpless people that we always were...I know you don’t want me to put you in the same boat as me, but I’m just stating the truth.

...

I never told Marin about this plan, you know? I told her that it was because I didn’t want anyone to catch on to what we were doing, but in reality...

...!

I just didn’t want her to worry about me, or stop me if she figured out what I planned...I-

never wanted to hurt anyone. Correct?

...That’s a rubbish excuse...People, us especially, aren’t judged by their intentions, but by their actions.

It’s just proof of the current party’s incompetency...We’re fighting against them tooth and nail and doing all this terrible shit, but not one of them knows, or is bothering to think about why...We’re just terrorists, plain and simple.

...

You might think we’re similar Hajime Hinata, but we’re not...If we were remotely similar, then if I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t try to save me...Instead I would’ve probably hated myself for being so stupid...

Don’t say that...! You’re young! You’re just scratching the surface of adulthood. If anyone in this situation needs to be saved, it’s you!

That’s complete BS...My luck and the mistakes I make are like a snowball...The further downhill I go, the more that snowball turns into an avalanche that wipes out and ruins so many people and settlements. I’m not even sure at what point my mistakes became my choices...I’m worthless...

I can count an entire settlement of people who would disagree with you on that one...They think of you as a hero, and a freedom fighter who’s fighting the power for what’s right.

Being a hero doesn’t mean falling on your sword, and they don’t run from their mistakes. They accept and learn from them.

I’m NOT a hero!

No. You’re not. But you’re also just a kid, giving you plenty of time to make up for that fact.

And well, you have a choice to make. You can run away, a fugitive, and live life even harder than it has been…Or you can be like me and my friends. You can turn yourself in, and you can repent, and get out in one piece.

And it’s just me talking, but I’m sure your friends would love to see you in one piece...

...

*Ayumu takes a deep breath...

Hinata, I-!

*SHING!* *SPLAT!*

!!!??!!!

!!!!!!!???

*Blood suddenly bursts out of Ayumu’s chest as a metal shard pierces him straight through him from his back! He drops to the floor, and behind him, Hajime sees a single figure with his arm raised, and several other metal chunks surrounding him!

Awright…that’s enough outta you…

[chequeredwhitpost]

🌍🌎🌏Saving the World🌍🌎🌏                      --Douxie X OC--

--------------------------------------- Part One --------------------------------------------------

The lot of us trudge through the icy terrain, freezing cold wind at our backs, being ankle-deep in snow. Our bodies are shivering and cold to the touch, but we’re almost there. Almost… there. 

Hi. My name is Emmett. I am the great wizard-ess of Crysto magics and Vibra magics. 

‘Pfft. Yeah right.’

And I am really fortunate enough to have a connection and be able to study under the guide of Merlin. (Even if he is a big jerk sometimes.) But this? This environment is dreadful! I never signed up for any quests to go on for world saving! This is ridiculous. And I’m freezing my butt off!

I feel a few shivers run through me as we reach the top of the hills. A great view this would be… IF everything weren’t LAYERED IN ICE!

I. Hate. The. Cold. 

If it wasn’t already clear, myself and the rest of the team of people I know are on a quest to ‘save the world’. What a load of bull, if you ask me. I mean, our enemies are on their way to resurrecting a great and vicious BEAST that wants to slay the world! What hopes do we have in finding this lady’s tomb? How powerful could a human have really been? 

Not that powerful, in my opinion. 

I feel a great bonk on the back of my head, and fumble forward. My feet snag in the snow and I go down-- face first. Looking up behind me I see that it was Merlin who hit me upside the head…. With his staff. 

I growl under my breath and glare at him.

“What the bucket was that for, old man?!” I snip.

“You were doubting our opportunity to prevent the end of the world. Again.” 

“Yeah? Well that’s no reason to hit me on the head!!” 

Hisirdoux sighs and helps me up off the cold ground. 

“You have to try and keep hope that this will work, Emm’.” 

“It will work.” Merlin grumbles. 

“Whatever you say…” 

“Are you asking to get bonked again?” 

I huff a breath.

“No, master Merlin.” 

“Then I suggest you keep that loud mouth of yours shut.” 

I sigh and follow Merlin through the trees. We come up to a large bank of ground. But the ground --- big surprise-- is all ice. For as far as the eye can see, too. I shrug my shoulders and turn around to head home.

“Welp, guess it was all for not! Let’s go home~.” 

Archie flies in front of me and scowls. I huff and hold my arms out on either side.

“Oh gimme a break! What do you say we do from here on?!” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Bids Merlin, “We cross the ice.”

I look at him and laugh. 

“Oh that’s funny.” 

“How so?” 

“You actually… hah, you expect me to walk out on that thin ass ice!?” 

“Uh, language, Emmett.” Archie scolds.

I shoot him an angry glance. 

“It shouldn’t be… thin.” Merlin pokes the ice with the butt of his staff. It only dents.

“You’re actually going to cross it??” 

“Yes.” 

I roll my head back, looking at the grey sky.

“Ugh. Fine. BUT IF WE DIE I’M GONNA KILL YOU GUYS.” 

“Uhhh.” 

Douxie shakes his head at Archie, 

“Just let her have that.” He whispers. 

I grumble under my breath and swing my arms out to motion to the field of ice. 

“After you.” I say through gritted teeth. 

We start walking out onto the ice-- me second in the line-- and it’s almost like everything is gonna be fine… until we hear a crack. I stop for a second, thinking one thing. 

I’m gonna die. 

I wait a few seconds but no more cracks appear, so I keep moving. But then another loud chip sounds out and I freeze in anticipation. 

“Um, you guys hear that right?” I croak. 

“Nothing to worry about. It’s only a simple leak in the ice.” 

“Leak… in the ice?” Douxie frets. 

“Yes. A leak in the ice, that’s what I said.” 

“BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????” 

“It means that the ice is cracking.” 

“Oh fuzz buckets.”Sinks Douxie. 

“You are hopeless, old man. YOU LEAD US OUT HERE!! ON A MINEFIELD OF ICE!!!” 

“Wait… If the ice is cracking… what’s going  to happen to us?” 

“What do you mean?” Archie asks. 

“Where… will we go? Are we gonna fall off the hill?” 

“More like we’ll fall underneath it.” Merlin blurts. 

I turn pale. 

“WHAT?!” 

 Merlin sighs a deep breath and turns to face us three. 

“You might want to brace for impact in case this goes south.” 

“What.” 

He crashes his staff into the ice, piercing a hole in it. He bends over as, like, a bazillion cracks are formed from his hole. He plucks his staff back out and kneels down, peeking through the hole.

“Hmm. It’s just as I thought.” 

“WHAT NOW???”

He looks up and chuckles.

“We’re about to fall into a deep cavern.” 

“Oh shi---” 

The ice cracks and we plummet down into the caverns. 

Screaming. 

For our lives. 

(Or at least I am.)

||||||||||||||||

When I finish blacking out… I open my eyes and see darkness. I shiver. It’s even colder now than before! I hold out my hand and summon a glowing crystal to shine the darkness out of its place. I huff a breath, seeing the air of mine out before my face. 

“Douxie? Archie?” I call. 

“Ugh….” 

“Here…” 

I sigh a breath of relief upon hearing their groans of life. As for Merlin though. . . I don’t really care. 

And then I feel another hit to the back of the head.

“OW!!! ...Ergh, damnit!!” 

I turn and see …

Merlin.

“What was that fo---” 

“Doubting me, of course.” 

“Can you read my thoughts or something!? Damn dude!!” 

“‘Dude?” 

“Language, Emmett.” Groans Archie. 

“Oh shut it, Arch.” 

I gruff, rubbing the back of my head. 

“So unlady like…” 

I watch as Douxie gets up and comes over to my side. He lends me a hand in getting back on my feet. I thank him, still rubbing my aching head where I’ve been hit.

“So… Where are we?” Archie asks, changing the subject.

“Good question.” Douxie hums.

Merlin looks around and says nothing. He sees a corridor in the cave and just starts walking for it. No plan exposed. No secret map shortcut. Nothing. Foolish old man. 

“You want to get hit again?” Douxie asks me.

“Wha--? Can everyone read my mind?!” 

“It’s written all over your face actually.” 

“What is?” 

“Your doubts and emotions. You’re practically an open book, Emm’.” 

“Whatever. . .” 

“We should probably follow him before he gets away.” Notes Archie. 

“R-right.” 

|||||||||||||||||||

“Whoa… What is this place?” I ask, gazing upon a small frozen garden within the depths of the cave. 

A glowing tree resides in the middle of the garden, with a small podium nested in front of it. I gasp upon the beautiful sight. 

“I believe we have found her tomb.”

“Her tomb?” 

“The Guardian of Beauty. The Wizard of Life. The ____ of ____. But her true name… Was Juni of Gardevonn.” 

“Wait… She sounds familiar.” 

“She should. We’ve been discussing her powerful potential in my lectures as of late. But you wouldn’t know that in between your naps, now would you?” 

“Ooh, he has you there.” 

“Archie.” 

The small cat-dragon huffs a snicker and perches on Douxie’s shoulder. I roll my eyes and we move forward for the tree. I can't help but marvel at the glowing tree’s blue color. I hum a note and we come up to the podium, which is now noticeably frozen in ice. I huff a breath and reach my hand out for the ice. Upon contact, I feel something similar to it.  Like … My crystal magics. 

“It’s not just ice.” 

“It isn’t?” 

“Nope. This is a mixture of the cold stuff and crystals.” 

“So… I would ask if you can get the book out-- but i’d rather know what the book is before we potentially risk our lives for it.” 

“It is the book of monsters.” Answers Merlin. 

We all look at him.

“The book of Monsters?” 

“That is correct. A book about all the weaknesses monsters have. Monsters not from this world.” 

“Wait… What would a human wizard have a book like this for? Where did she even get it?” 

“I'm afraid that she was never given this book. In fact, she wrote it herself.”

“What?” 

“She was the first with mastery over life. Naturally, she’d keep a book to all the weaknesses of monsters who lived.” 

“And ones that might be coming back?” I check. 

“Yes. That is the hope anyway.” 

“Great. Let’s bust it out and get going then!” 

“I’m not so sure it’s that easy,” 

“Sure it is,” I mark, “I can remove the crystal protection and Archie can melt the ice with his dragon breath.” 

“Oh. Right.” 

“Hmm. Just proceed with caution.” Merlin heeds. 

We nod. 

I put my hands against the cold surface and cast a spell to remove the first half of protection. It’s gone in a matter of seconds. I feel a bit dizzy afterwards but nothing new. Then, I step back beside Douxie and he grabs my hand. 

Looking at him, he nods and smiles at me. 

“Your hands are freezing.” He notes. 

“I wonder why.” I joke.

“Cheeky.” 

Archie melts the ice and makes sure to be careful about not burning the book. Once the cover is free, Merlin steps forward and rips the book out of the ice. But as we think it's all good, the cave rumbles. 

“Oh wonderful.” 

“Let’s get out of here!” 

“I agree.” 

And we run. 

Run run run, back to Camelot.

To prepare for the worst. 

[watching-constellations]

Stages of a New Poi Trick

1. “Oh, that looks easy! I’ll have it in no time.”

2. “Wait– but arms don’t– that’s not how physics... but I can’t... maybe if I phase through myself..?”

3. BONK BONK WHACK BONK WHACK CRASH BANG

4. “!@$##%^&*!!!!!”

5. “Wait, I’ve got it. Not sure what I did differently, but I can do it now! That was so easy!”

6. *proceeds to forget the entire process, moves onto something else, rinse and repeat*

[feathered-prince]

(for who had AF2/3 askblogs back in 2019/2020)

NOTE BEFORE PROCEEDING: This is about the old account @ceruleanflyer-moved and everything related to it. !!! If you were associated/are associated with @sleepkirb or the above account (both belong to me, Juli), I advise reading it !!!! If NOT, you can go ask already and skip this entire post. (If you’re a Discord friend / random person you can skip too)

- MEMORY I figured it’d be better to keep the past account, in case I wanted to relive some good memories. (I think I’m one of the few people with the original ask blogs still up. I survived?) (These were all actually really fun, sometimes weird but in the good way.) (Some of the users I interacted with aren’t into the AF/PR series anymore (after some events) and I respect that, and if you find them, don’t harass them. I’ll bonk you, on god.) - MYSELF (It happened during mid-late 2019 to ~March 2020, where I was... weirder?) (If you do go through the account, and find something weird, you can talk to me about it. Hell, punch me in the face. That was old Juli.) (Won’t interact with me for reasons: I understand. I won’t hold anything against you, but I’m still up to talk. I’m not an ass.) - READ THIS BEFORE GOING TO ASK: (Aevon will proceed to go through a factory reset, and remember none of the events on the other account.)

(I know OAF3 is buried 7 feet under. I just like birds.) (The ask box is open.) -- OLD ACCOUNT: @ceruleanflyer-moved PERSON BEHIND ALL THIS: @sleepkirb (Juli) (Go there if you wanna ask me things. Alternatively, Mako and Sleepy.) (If you read this without being associated, wow you’re curious. This is nothing you know of. You can go now.)

[midnightluck]

modern au - luffy interrogates his older brother's weird boyfriends

“Hey,” says Luffy says, and given the way his voice is clear, he’s probably leaning backwards over the couch again. “When’s the food gonna be ready?”

“Have some patience,” Ace says, stirring the sauce. “It’s almost done.”

“But I’m hungry!” Luffy complains.

Ace just hums and tunes him out. Luffy is always hungry. “We can’t start without them anyway,” he calls back, and spoons up a bit of the sauce to taste.

It’s off. There’s something not quite right with it, but he can’t figure it out, either. It doesn’t need more salt, the consistency is right…what’s missing?

“When are they getting here?” It breaks his concentration, and he looks up. Luffy’s wandering into the kitchen. That’s a bad sign.

“Any time now,” Ace says immediately, then checks the clock to find out if he lied or not. “Why don’t you go–” he casts around for some way to end that sentence, and thankfully the doorbell rings just then. “–go let them in?”

Luffy bounces out of the kitchen and Ace sighs. Good, that’s out of the way; maybe it’s rosemary? He tastes the sauce again then picks up the container of rosemary and sniffs lightly. No, that’s not right. Pepper? He tastes and sniffs again but that’s not it either–

“Hiya!” comes Luffy’s voice. “Are you a pineapple?”

Ace gasps in horror and the pepper in his hand goes straight up his nose and into his lungs. He lunges for the sink and loses several minutes to coughing fire.

By the time he can breathe again, he’s a mess. Tears and snot got everywhere, he’s all wet from sticking his head under the faucet, and his nice new shirt is a total loss. But there’s also a warm hand on his back, just between the shoulder blades, and it helps.

“You okay?” Sabo asks, and Ace looks up at him through streaming eyes.

“Yeah, fine. Just, y’know, maced myself,” Ace gets out and shit, his voice is raspy.

Sabo blinks at him, then drops his hand. “I withdraw my sympathy,” he says, and meanders back out to the living room.

“I hate you!” Ace calls after him, but his voice doesn’t carry far and also sounds awful. He chugs another glass of water, then goes to wipe his face on his shirt. Wait, shit, no, this is his nice shirt and–and it’s already ruined.

Well. Fine. He tugs it off and buries his face in it as he cuts through the living room to get to his bedroom. It’s not like he’s hiding, he just–doesn’t want any of them to see him.

“You okay, yoi?”

Ace waves him off and keeps walking.

“He does that sometimes,” Luffy says, just as Ace hits his room. He leaves the door open to listen as he starts making himself presentable again. “Ace can be real dumb, you know?”

“We know,” Sabo assures him, and Ace hisses quietly to himself. Sabo’s the worst, and where the hell is that black shirt anyway? “But we like him anyway.”

“You’re weird,” Luffy says, and Ace yells “Oi!” in protest, even though he’s not sure who or what he’s protesting. “How about you, Mr. Pineapple? Do you like him anyway, too?”

“You don’t have to answer him!” Ace shouts from his closet, and they either don’t hear him or ignore him.

“I do, yoi,” Marco says, and he even manages to sound calm and reasonable. “But it’s not his brain I like him for, so being dumb sometimes doesn’t matter.”

Ace finally finds a shirt but also wonders if he can drown himself in the dirty laundry and never come out again.

Someone must’ve made some kind of noise or gesture, or maybe Luffy just gave him the head-tilt-blink-blink look, because after a few beats, Marco continues. “Because he’s kind, yoi. And strong, and loyal, and seeing him happy makes me happy.”

“Okay,” Luffy says happily, and Ace blinks and continues to button up the shirt, not bothering to glance in the mirror so he can pretend he’s not blushing. “That’s good! Then I like you, Mr. Pineapple. You can stay for food.”

Ace’s fingers stumble once more on the buttons. Okay, that was–he wasn’t expecting that.

“What about me, then?” Sabo asks, but there’s humor in his voice.

“I dunno,” Luffy says, honest as always, “You’re still kinda weird.”

Ace finally brings himself to step out and back into the living room, pretending like he hadn’t been listening and also like any lingering redness on his face is from his coughing fit. “See,” he says, “Even Luffy sees through you. You’re weird, Sabo.”

Sabo looks up at him and then back at Luffy. His eyes narrow and he smiles and Ace knows he’s in trouble. “I’ll tell you why I like Ace, then, shall I?” he says, clapping his hands in front of him.

There’s no way to save this but Ace still suggests, “Or you could not.”

But Luffy’s already turning to Sabo who grins at Ace, then cuts his eyes to Marco. Marco glances to Ace as well, then sniffs and says mildly, “Is something burning?”

Oh, shit, no, the sauce–it’d been on the burner this whole time! Ace yelps and runs for the kitchen.

It’s boiling, why is it doing that, no, nooooo–he tries to rescue it, but it wouldn’t’ve mattered anyway; he’d spilled the pepper everywhere and a significant amount had landed in the pot.

And to top it all off, he can still hear the conversation–well, lecture, really–going on in the living room. “–even though he started the fire, he still made sure everyone else was out first,” and oh no, surely Sabo didn’t tell Luffy that story? And then Sabo finishes up with a sigh and “He’s my hero,” and Ace knows he did.

“Uwa~” Luffy says, clapping along. “Tell me more!”

Sabo launches into yet another grossly exaggerated tale of Ace’s many good traits, and Ace looks miserably down at the mess that used to be a sauce. This was supposed to be a simple, quiet night for them all to meet and get to know each other, and so far he’s lost his sauce, his new shirt, his voice, and quite possibly his little brother’s respect.

A warm, rough hand wraps around his wrist, and he stares at the pot handle. “C’mon,” Marco says softly beside him. “Let me help, yoi.”

Ace lets go of the pot handle and Marco puts it in the sink. Ace mechanically gets out another sauce pan. “I don’t have any more corn starch,” he says, and for some reason it’s that small fact that makes the back of his eyes burn. It’s probably the pepper.

“That’s fine,” Marco says. “You’ve got flour, right? We’ll do something else, yoi.”

Ace steps aside to let Marco do something with flour and butter, and hands over milk when asked. “Thatch taught me this, yoi,” Marco says conversationally above the laughter in the living room. “Said if there was one thing I should know how to make, it was a good sauce. He says that a good sauce covers a lot of sins.”

“Sounds like him,” Ace agrees, leaning into Marco’s back. It’s warm and safe.

Marco hums a bit, and they hear Sabo saying, “–but the branch broke, so he fell out of the tree–”

“You gonna go rescue your brother, yoi?”

Ace nods, then straightens. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll leave this to you, then. Be right back.”

Marco runs his hand along Ace’s shoulder as he goes, and Ace has never been more thankful for Marco’s casual acceptance and level-headedness.

Except maybe that time with the snake. Or that time in the hospital.

Anyway, he comes up behind the couch and leans forward over the back to look down at Luffy. “Is Sabo okay, then? Can he also stay for food?”

Luffy looks up at him and nods. “He’s funny, so he can stay. But he’s still weird!”

Ace grins down at him and Sabo huffs. “How am I weird?” he asks, clearly humoring Luffy.

“You smile too much,” Luffy says, looking at him. “But you don’t mean it.”

Sabo’s smile freezes on his face, and Ace’s falls right off. “Luffy, we talked about manners, remember,” he starts, but Sabo raises a hand.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting it, but he’s not wrong.” He looks at Luffy for a long moment, then asks, “So you think I should smile less?”

“Nope,” Luffy says, and then sticks a finger up his nose, Luffy, no. “Shishishi, silly! You just have to mean it more!”

Ace is halfway over the couch, trying to drag Luffy’s hand away from his nose. “Luffy, no, what have we talked about–” he says, and then Luffy turns, moving his wrist, and Ace faceplants awkwardly into the cushions.

“I don’t remember,” Luffy tells Ace, which yes, he should have expected. He has to flip awkwardly to get his legs onto the sofa but he does, and then proceeds to tumble both of them off it.

“If you don’t use your manners, I’m gonna tell Makino,” he threatens, trapping Luffy in a headlock. Luffy squirms and laughs while Ace loudly despairs of his brother’s social skills.

At least he does until he looks up to check on Sabo. His eyes are soft behind the scar, and the smile on his face is quiet and small, one that Ace doesn’t see often. It stops Ace, because that’s Sabo’s real smile, and it makes him breathtaking.

“Shishishi, like that!” Luffy says, then takes blatant advantage of Ace’s pause to break the hold. Instead of getting up, though, he just sits there on the carpet next to Ace. “Ne, when’s the food gonna be done?”

“It already is, yoi,” Marco says, and they all look up to see him in the doorway, a dishtowel Ace doesn’t even recognize over one shoulder. “Everyone ready?”

“Food!” Luffy cheers, scrambling upright. He jumps over the couch instead of going around and Marco barely gets out of the way in time.

“Someone’s excited,” he says, then looks them both over. “Everything okay out here, yoi?”

Ace turns to look at Sabo, and he pauses before nodding. “Yeah,” Sabo says. “It’s all good here.” He stands up and offers Ace a hand.

Ace lets himself be pulled up and then uses their clasped hands to pull Sabo close enough to run his other hand through blond hair. “Smiling like that suits you,” he says, and then drops his hands and flees for the kitchen.

Luffy’s already at the table. “Hey now, we have company,” Ace says and bonks his head gently. “We wait.”

“But Aaaaace,” Luffy whines. Ace frowns but lets it go; he’s already gathering up the dishes on the counter to bring to the table.

Thankfully, Marco pulls Sabo into the kitchen just then, and they all sit down at about the same time Luffy takes his first bite.

There’s still plenty for everyone, of course, and Marco’s sauce turns out to be wonderful. “You made this very fast,” Ace says, mouth full of delicious sauce and eyeing the rest of it suspiciously.

“It’s bechamel,” Marco tells him with a straight face and laughing eyes. “A good sauce can cover–”

“–a lot of sins, yeah, you said. What exactly is in it?”

“You saw me make it, yoi. Flour, milk, butter.”

“That’s it?” Ace asks. Maybe he’ll have to beg Thatch for cooking classes after all, if this is the kind of thing he can learn to make. “That can’t be it.”

“Well, there is one secret ingredient,” Marco allows, and Ace nods triumphantly. He knew it couldn’t’ve been that easy. Marco meets his gaze calmly over the table and says, “There’s pepper in it too.”

Ace chokes, coughing on his mouthful of food, and no one even pats his back while he has a pepper-related problem for the second time that night. He manages just fine on his own, though, and when he looks back up at everyone calmly eating around him, he announces, “I hate you all.”

Sabo shoots him a smug grin, but Marco at least has the decency to squeeze Ace’s hand below the table.

Luffy laughs, though, and reaches over to steal off Ace’s plate. “I think they like you though,” he tells Ace like it’s something new.

Ace would stop him, but it would mean dropping Marco’s hand, so he lets it happen. Everyone’s smiling, after all, and they all even mean it. “That’s good,” Ace tells Luffy, ignoring the other two, “because I think I like them, too.”