#i will never stop being heartbroken over this scene
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11queensupreme11 · 2 days ago
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I love where we're taking this Cheating Cu story, and I’m really enjoying it!
What I think would be funny is if the mistress tried to corner Percy and slapped or attacked her. I know it’s not possible, but I like the hypothetical situation we have going on—so let’s just pretend that she did. What would make it even more fun is if the attack left a visible mark on Percy’s skin, like a handprint on her cheek or a bruise on her arm from being grabbed too hard. What I think would get the yandere's attention is if it left a mark or if they saw Percy crying because of it.
Now, imagine the Yanderes or other family members seeing the aftermath or the attack happening in real time. They would absolutely LOSE their minds! I bet they’d come up with over a 100 different ways to torture or kill the mistress on the spot.
And if she attacked Percy in front of one or all of the Yanderes and their kids? Oh, that would make things even worse. The sheer chaos that would follow would be insane!
If possible, could you give us their reaction to witnessing it or seeing her cry because of the mistress?
i love you guys for never failing to find ways to make this au messier and messier 😂😂😂 it's like watching my favorite dramas, more dramatic shit is always piling on to each other to create one big mess
if the mistress ever tried to (or actually did) hurt percy in front of the yans and their kids, they would ALL lose their shit but the one who loses it worse would be........ cú chulainn!
(you guys probably thought i'd say poseidon or something huh???)
but yeah it's cú chulainn! listen, this whole mess is all HIS fault and he knows it. he had an affair, didn't see anything wrong with his actions when his wife confronted him about it. dismissed her feelings, and then became worried as fuck seeing how depressed she became. then the guilt comes, and now he finally acknowledges his wrongdoing but at that point, percy's already giving him the cold shoulder no matter how hard he tries to apologize. and now she's getting ready to leave for midgard, AND THEN THE MISTRESS ANNOUNCES HER PREGNANCY.....
then the bitch has the AUDACITY to try and hurt percy. he's the first to notice it and practically tackles her LMAO 😭😭😭 he's been so hyperfocused on percy for months now that he instantly notices the mistress trying to attack and that's why he reacts first and faster. honestly, he would literally just kill her in a blind rage before anyone can even realize what's happening 💀
...... but hey, no more mistress and bastard baby to worry about! (percy's still heartbroken tho and she's definitely going to midgard after this mess)
poseidon is furious that the whore tried to raise a hand against his daughter-wife and even more furious that cú chulainn managed to do something about it before he could smh. you'd think he'd be grateful, but nope! he still hates the dude's guts. this is all HIS fault after all.
hades would stiffly thank cú chulainn for the save but that's all he's getting from him. he'll be more focused on making sure percy's okay and getting her and the other girls out of the room away from the crime scene
anubis is fuming that cú chulainn managed to stop the crazy lady first. he saw it happen before he did, he swears!!!! cú chulainn was just... closer! yeah, that's all! anyways, he rushes after percy to make sure she's okay and pretty much hogs her the entire day.
beelzebub's just relieved that cú chulainn's act didn't do him any favors with percy. he is disappointed tho that the mistress was killed so quickly. he would've liked to torture her and the baby first...
apollo's shrieking like an ambulance siren the entire time LMAO 😂😂 he has no idea what just happened because he was too busy trying to get to percy to comfort her, but he's not gonna thank cú chulainn for the save! in his eyes, he still needs to suffer! pity his stupid whore couldn't suffer with him...
loki's glad percy was saved, but now he's pissed at cú chulainn for killing his mistress too quickly. he'd throw out accusations like "you probably killed her quickly so we wouldn't be able to get our hands on her! admit it, you cared about the dumb bitch, didn't you?!" anything to make him look worse in percy's eyes lol
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pillowfriends · 10 months ago
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when the "you've been gone such a long time" hits 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
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obsesssedblerd · 2 months ago
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Birthday Wishes
Synopsis: You, your kids, and all of your friends and colleagues work together to give your husband, Satoru, the best birthday ever. 
Pairing: husband! Gojo x f! reader
Contains: Teeth-rotting fluff, comfort, angst but i promise it’s brief, canon divergence, reader and gojo are married and they adopted the first years, reader and gojo also have a baby together, the students being students, yuuji planning a party, everyone is happy bc i freaking said so. 
wc: 3.2k
a/n: happy birthday satoru <3 you’re so loved.
likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated <3 (also, if you want to read the first part where they adopt the first years, it’s here!)
barely proofread, sorry for mistakes.
— — — — — 
The first time Satoru felt bothered about birthdays was when he was seven, and he was walking around the city on his own so he wouldn’t have to deal with his annoying trainers. He passed by a park, and he saw a family singing happy birthday to a young boy. He was surrounded by his family and friends, who all looked happy to be there with him. There were presents, a cake that everyone shared, and decorations that the boy loved.
The sight made his heart pinch slightly, and he began imagining how his birthday party would look if the world was perfect and far kinder to him. As he grew older, that pinch on his heart turned into a tight squeeze, an ache that intensified with every minuscule reminder that he truly was alone in this world, no matter what people told him. 
Even though he attempted to shove the idea of birthday parties, celebrations with friends, and a family to hug him tight on his special day to the back of his head so it wouldn’t hurt as much, every year on December 7th, he found himself making a birthday wish when it was late and everyone else was asleep.
I wish I could make friends; when he turned eight. 
I wish I could have a party; when he turned eleven. 
I wish I could have a normal day for once; when he turned fifteen. 
I wish I could stop having nightmares about Toji; when he turned eighteen. 
I wish Suguru would come back; when he turned twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, and twenty-three. 
It was fine. He was the strongest. He shouldn’t feel that way about a birthday. They were stupid and beneath him anyway, right? He’s not like everyone else, even though there was a tiny sliver of something heartbroken within him, constantly screaming about how badly he wanted to be like everyone else. 
“Satoru.” 
The nightmare has the same scene as the others. The crowded street in Shinjuku, Satoru’s heavy breathing as he’s desperately blinking back tears, and Suguru, dressed in black, slowly turning around so his back was facing him. 
God, no. Not again. 
“Satoru.” Suguru’s tone is dismissive, and Satoru’s feet are glued to his spot on the sidewalk. He can’t follow him where he’s going. He never could. All he could do is watch as his best friend walks away, leaving him and the friendship they had behind. 
No. Please. 
He knows how this ends, but it still hurts. Around him, the people and buildings start to darken, and the light fades with every step Suguru takes away from him until he’s alone in pitch black. Soon, there’s nothing but a sickening, shadowy silence. 
– 
“Satoru.” 
The voice that calls his name isn’t Suguru’s from the nightmare. It’s soft, feminine, patient, and so full of love. You. He feels fingers tenderly brush against his cheek, and he stirs in his sleep with a small groan. 
“Baby,” you call him again. “It's time to wake up.” 
Satoru’s eyes flicker open, and he’s met with your smiling face. He looks around the large bedroom that you two share, remembers that life is so, so much different now, and exhales in relief. He sits up in the bed, and he looks over at the digital clock on the nightstand. “Oh, wow, it’s past noon?” 
“Well, yeah,” you say with a small, quiet laugh. “We all thought you should sleep in today.” Your hand finds his cheek again, and you lean in so you can kiss his forehead. “Happy birthday, Toru. I love you so much.” 
“Oh?” He looks at the clock again to check the date. Sure enough, it’s December 7th. 
However, the ache that he’s felt for most of his life wasn’t there. Since falling in love with you, it’s been replaced with a comforting, gentle warmth. For the last few years, he’s actually looked forward to his birthday, because it meant another year and more experiences with you and the family you two made together. More time, more love.
He smiles up at you and hugs you close to him so he can rest his head on your tummy, allowing you to rake your fingers through his snow-colored hair, which was messy from sleeping all morning. “Thank you, pretty girl. I love you, too.” 
Once he’s done brushing his teeth and washing his face, you appear in the bathroom door again. An adorable, yet frustrated whine from your side makes him look down, and you laugh, shifting your baby so she’s in front of you instead of resting on your hip. “Someone is a little upset that she didn’t get her morning cuddles from Daddy.”
Satoru chuckles at that, and he takes his daughter from you right as she starts reaching for him, her blue eyes light with adoration and excitement. “Aw, ‘m sorry, princess. I was sleepy.” He rains kisses on her chubby cheeks until she bursts with giggles, and Satoru can’t help but grin, gently stroking the girl’s hair—colored exactly like yours except for a few white strands. “How has your morning been, Riko? Hope you’ve been good to Mommy.” 
“She was whining for a while because she didn’t know where you were, but other than that, she was great.” 
He carries Riko and follows you out of your bedroom. Like every time he’s in the hallway, Satoru finds his favorite picture hanging on the wall. It was from the evening when Riko was born. Kento was kind enough to take a picture of you and Satoru holding her. The three teenagers you adopted, Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara, were surrounding the bed with teary eyes and happy smiles. 
Speaking of. 
“Hey, the house is as quiet as the day we moved in,” Satoru says. “Where’s our other three kids?” 
“Hm? Oh, they’re taking care of some things at the school right now,” you reply once you reach the living room where the first of many gift bags rested on the couch. You lift it up for him to see, and Satoru gasps excitedly. “Oooh, a present?!” 
“Duh, silly. It’s your birthday.” You trade him the present for Riko, and you point towards the notecard that was taped on the gift. “That’s a clue. When you’re done opening that, get dressed. You’re going to be going on a little scavenger hunt for the rest of your gifts.” 
“Oooh, interesting. Can I teleport?” 
You frown, and Riko cosigns with an adorable pout and whine. “Absolutely not. That takes the fun out of it.” 
Satoru scoffs with a roll of his eyes, but his smile doesn’t fade. He starts opening the present, and you sneakily open your messages to text one of your sons. 
You: We’re about to leave the house. It’s 1pm right now. Do you think you guys can be done by four? I’ll do everything I can to stall him.
Yuuji: 100%. We got this! :)
— — — 
“Alright, everyone!” Yuuji calls out to the rest of the group. “Mom just left the house with Dad. We only have about three hours to get everything there and set up! Everyone ready?” 
“All ready,” Yuuta replies as he places three more bags full of party supplies in the back of Kento’s car. “Ino is with Kugisaki and Inumaki right now. They’re at the bakery grabbing the cake.” 
“I bet you lunch tomorrow that someone here is eventually going to drop the cake.” Yuki chortles.
Maki snickers as she loads a box into the trunk, using her free hand to ruffle Yuuta’s hair when she passes him. “I agree with her. There’s always some type of tragedy when setting up surprise birthday parties.” 
“Ladies, please. Let’s not speak that into existence,” Choso says. “I heard that [Y/N] spent quite a bit of money on that cake.” 
Next to Yuuji, Megumi taps his shoulder to get his attention. “Do you think he used his Six Eyes to see the presents we hid in the library?” 
“Well, Mom said he woke up a bit late. He had to get ready before starting the scavenger hunt she set up, plus Riko’s an adorable distraction, so I doubt it.” 
Megumi nods, then peeks at his phone. “Okay, got Mom’s location. They’re about thirty minutes away from home. Now’s our chance.” 
“I’ll have Ichiji meet the students at the bakery once they’re ready,” Kento Nanami says, pulling his jacket on to fight the December chill. “I would hate for them to have to catch the subway back.” 
“Holy crap.” Takuma Ino’s surprised voice echoes throughout the living room where everyone else is setting up for the party. “This is where you guys live now? This place is huge!” 
“Yup!” Nobara answers as she takes off her shoes and places them next to the others near the door. “Amazing, right? I truly had no idea how much money Dad had until I saw this place. There’s rich, and then there’s stupid rich.” 
Megumi pauses filling up a balloon and turns towards her with a small, amused smile. “I thought you learned that when you spilled something on one of his shirts and nearly fainted when I told you how much it cost.” 
At the memory, Yuuji snickers. “Then we tried to shove it in your shirt to hide it.” 
Megumi rolls his eyes. “Like the idiots you two are.” 
“If anyone is used to how much Gojo likes to spend on clothes, it’s definitely Megumi,” Maki says as she tapes a blue tablecloth down on the table. 
“Yeah, he’s known him the longest. Has Gojo-sensei always lived here?” Yuuta asks. “I never heard him talk about a house this size.”
Megumi shakes his head. “He had no intention of living here. This place was a gift from the Gojo clan. He showed me once when I was nine, then never brought it up again. He had a small place near the school he stayed at.” 
“Then he fell in love?” Yuki asks with an excited grin. 
“Then he fell in love,” Ieiri Shoko replies. She smiles as she points at the portrait of you and Satoru on your wedding day hanging on the wall. “Moved here, adopted those three, then [Y/N] had Riko.” 
“Speaking of Riko, why couldn’t she be here?” Nobara asks with a small whine. “I was hoping to hold my baby sister while you all set up for the party.” 
Panda scoffs. “You could help, y’know.” 
“I did help! I went to go get the cake! Right, Toge?” 
Toge, who was helping Yuuta with some decorations, nods with a thumbs-up. “Salmon.” 
“Alright, guys, the table for the presents is all set up,” Maki says. “Leave your gifts here.” 
“I’ll go grab ours from the library!” Yuuji announces, then taps his older brother on the shoulder. “Could you give me a hand? There’s quite a few.” 
“Of course.” 
Choso follows Yuuji to the sunroom that you and Satoru turned into your at-home library. He finds the presents stashed in the corner behind one of the bookshelves, and starts to lift a few of them. 
“Wow,” Choso breathes out. “This is a lot of books.” 
“Yeah, Mom reads a lot. Her and Megumi spend a lot of time here,” Yuuji replies.
Choso helps by grabbing a stack of presents, and smiles at his words. “I’m glad to see how happy and comfortable you are here. All three of you.” 
“I still can’t believe it. Like, a part of me still thinks that this is a dream and I’m going to wake up back in the dorms, still attached to Sukuna.” 
When Choso’s smile falters, Yuuji changes the subject. “You should come over more often. I know you and Yuki are incredibly busy, but I still want to teach you how to play video games.” 
“I’ll make time. And I—” 
“OH, NO!!!” 
The loud chorus of fearful gasps and screams make Yuuji and Choso drop what’s in their arms, and they sprint down the long halls back to the living room. “What is it?!” Yuuji exclaims. 
Toge turns around with a gulp, then shakily points towards the ground. “Mustard leaf,” he whispers. Yuuji looks to where he’s pointing, then gasps in horror, nausea swimming in his gut.  
The cake is splattered across the floor. 
Ieiri releases a loud sigh to break the silence, and she drags her hand down her face. “And there’s our tragedy.” 
Megumi shakes his head. “I blame Maki and Yuki for speaking it into existence.”
“Well I blame Takuma for dropping the damn thing,” Maki snaps back.
“I said I was sorry!!” Takuma shouts, looking as nauseous as Yuuji felt.
“Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no!” Yuuji’s heart pounds, and he yanks his phone out of his pocket to check the time. They only have about forty more minutes if they want to be done on time. What now? How can I fix this? 
“Okay, no one panic. That won’t get us anywhere.” Kento says. “First things first, let’s get this cleaned up. Itadori, call [Y/N] and let her know what happened.” 
“Yeah, he’s right. Besides, this isn’t the first time we had a cake dropped on someone’s birthday, remember?” Yuuta gently pats his shoulder. “It’ll be alright. We’ll clean up.”
Right, he needs to call you. As everyone else either helps clean the mess or continues setting up, Yuuji steps outside where it’s quieter. He waits for a couple of seconds, then presses the green button near your contact to call you. 
“Hey Yuuji, is everything alright?” You softly ask him once the line connects. 
He swallows hard. “Hi. Uh- Yeah, things are fine. How’s Dad doing?” 
“He’s currently showing Riko around the butterfly garden where we confessed that we loved each other for the first time. He’s having way more fun on this hunt than I anticipated. We might be about twenty minutes late. I figured it wouldn’t be too much of a problem, just in case you all needed more time.” 
“Well…” He mutters sadly. “We messed up the cake. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine throwing a birthday party and not having a cake.” 
“It’s okay. Are Yaga and Utahime there yet?” 
“No. They mentioned that they’d have to work late so they wouldn’t be able to help set up. They’ll be at the party, though.” 
“Good. Have either Kento or Ieiri call and ask them to stop by the bakery closer to our house. Yaga will know exactly what to get, okay?” 
The knot in Yuuji’s chest eases. “You had a back-up plan.”
You laugh at that. “If being a sorcerer and being in love with the one and only Satoru Gojo has taught me anything, it’s to always have a plan B, and sometimes a plan C. Everything’s going to be alright. I promise.” 
“I’m really sorry about the cake. I know you spent a lot on that. Gosh, I just really wanted everything to be perfect, and—” 
“Yuuji,” you sigh. “It will be perfect. He’ll be so excited that you even came up with this plan and brought everyone together for it. You tried your best, and no one got hurt. That’s more than enough. Yaga is going to pick up Satoru’s favorite treat, and we’ll put his candles with that. All of the guests will have the cake he brings. Don’t beat yourself up.” 
“Thanks, Mom.” 
“Of course, honey. Chin up, okay? Finish strong. I’m so proud of you for planning all of this. It wasn’t easy, but you did it. I’ll see you all soon.” 
“See you soon.” When Yuuji hangs up the phone, he’s overcome with a burst of determination. Finish strong. I can do this. He walks back into the house with his head held high.
– – – 
“Satoru, did you really have to buy her so many butterfly clips for her hair?” You ask as you hold up the souvenir bag from the butterfly garden. “Riko’s going to be wearing these for the rest of her life.” 
“Of course I did. Look how cute they are in her hair!” He lowers his head so he can talk to Riko, who’s safe in your arms. “Right, princess? Of course you need sixty butterfly clips. I would’ve gotten you a million of them if I could.” When the baby giggles in response, he kisses the top of her head. 
In his hands are all of the gifts he’s received throughout the day. Clothes, accessories, cologne, a new watch, and a detailed birthday card and love letter from you. Satoru spent the whole afternoon smiling that you’re certain that his face will be sore tomorrow morning. 
“This was so much fun, pretty girl,” he tells you as you approach the front door of the house. “Thank you. I’m so grateful for you.” He begins unlocking the door, and you struggle to contain your excited grin. This is it. 
“Still wondering what’s going on with Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara,” Satoru mumbles as he opens the door and switches on the light. “I really hope they didn’t take a mission today—” 
“SURPRISE!!!” 
Satoru stops in his tracks, and the shock is so great that he lifts his blindfold to take all of it in. His colleagues, his students, and his three teenagers are all here in the living, wearing blue party hats and using noise blowers. There’s balloons, a banner that reads, Happy birthday, Satoru, and a table full of presents and cakes. 
He looks over at you with wide eyes, then back at everyone else in the room. “A party?” He whispers. “Did you plan this?” 
You shake your head. “Actually, he did,” you say as you point at Yuuji, who was standing in the front with Nobara and Megumi. “I planned your scavenger hunt, and he planned your party.” 
“I hope you like it,” Yuuji says as he steps forward with his dessert, neatly topped with a few lit candles. “Happy birthday. Thanks for being so incredible. From stopping my execution all the way to adopting me, you really changed my life. You changed all of our lives.” 
Your heart swells at the scene, and the crowd ‘aww’s. Yuuji does a small countdown, and everyone starts singing happy birthday to him. Satoru thinks back to the child he was; how he watched from a distance as that boy in the park was surrounded by love, and how he yearned to be in his spot. Now, he is. 
Once they’re finished singing, Satoru reaches forward and hugs Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara all at once. “Thank you,” he whispers to them. “You all changed my life, too.” When he pulls away, he looks down at the still-lit candles, then glances at you. 
“Go on, love,” you tell him quietly, wiping away the happy tears that formed in the corner of your eyes. “Make a wish.” 
Satoru thinks about his past again, and how he spent all of his birthdays wishing to be somewhere else, something else, someone else. But as he looks at you and the daughter you blessed him with, the three kids he would choose in every lifetime, the students he cared so much about, and his colleagues from Jujutsu Tech that all came here for him, he desperately wanted to stay himself and stay where he is.
I wish for another safe year, full of love, he thinks to himself, then blows out the candles.
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forwhomthewordsflow · 5 months ago
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Stars In My Eyes
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(a part two to this fic!)
modern music teacher!eddie munson x art teacher fem!reader
18+ ONLY MDNI!!!
warnings: fluff, so fluffy, first dates, first kisses, some anxiety/stress, a little dash of coach!steve harrington, suggestiveness
author's note: i feel like this took me ages to write! so sorry for the wait...i do sort of love how this turned out :) writing a first kiss scene is hard!!!
please let me know what your thoughts are on this series!
word count: 7.7k
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Eddie Munson couldn’t believe his luck.
Like, sure he’s gotten lucky a few times before.  There was that one time an officer let him off with a warning after he rolled through a stop sign, he’d played the “I’m a teacher during finals week” card and it had seemed to work out pretty well for him.  There were also a few times when a stranger in front of him at the Starbucks drive thru had paid for his morning coffee, only for him to turn around and see there was no one behind him to pay it forward to.  
And then, there was that time back during his final senior year where Stacy Cowell was going through a “rebel phase” and decided to give Eddie a string of random blowjobs over the course of a week and a half to make herself feel like she was living on “the wild side.”  She quickly transitioned out of that phase when Eddie had asked her out on a date, he figured they should probably make an effort to learn a little about each other if she was going to be deepthroating him in the back of his van every other day after school.  She turned him down with a disgusted sneer, leaving Eddie a little heartbroken by the fact that a girl could be so offended at the idea of a date with him.  
But none of that even mattered to Eddie anymore.  All of those situations touched by a bit of luck have been reduced down to mere coincidences now that he has you in his life.  Even though it was only one IKEA date trip that the two of you went on last weekend, Eddie couldn’t stop himself from imagining a long, happy future with you because of how fucking perfect it all went.
You don’t think you’ve ever been so nervously giddy over anything in your entire life.  There had never really been any boys that you were crazy for when you were younger.  Sure, you’d been in love a couple times before, but nothing was ever…”wow.” 
 You’d never felt any real sparks, never met anyone truly special enough to change your life like all of the women you’d seen in movies or read about in books.  
But Eddie…he was very much wow.
After you’d worked out the details for your IKEA trip that afternoon in your classroom, you found it hard to stop blushing for the remainder of the week.  The both of you decided that you’d go on Saturday morning, and Eddie had insisted on picking you up and driving there together.  He bowed his head and lightly pressed his lips to your hand in a dramatic and silly fashion before leaving your classroom.  Your knees felt weak and a bright red blush bloomed on your face as Eddie stood back up to his full height to face you. 
“You know,” he started, still holding your hand, "you're really cute when you blush like that.”
A tiny squeak is all that comes out of your mouth when you open it to respond.  
You struggle to put together a coherent sentence and settle for the smile and girlish giggle that bubbled its way out of your chest.  
“I’ll see you later.”
Eddie started to walk backwards, keeping your hand in his grasp until he was too far away and then turning around to exit your classroom.  There wasn’t much else you could do except stare at the hand that had just been held by him, while holding your other over your mouth in shock.  
Eddie waited the appropriate five seconds after being out of your line of sight before erupting into a silent “fist-punching-head-banging-fuck yeah!” celebration in the hallway.  He couldn’t believe he kissed your hand.  The thought to kiss your hand had barely graced his mind before his body had made the decision to go through with it.  Eddie was terrified that his nerdy qualities would cause you to run for the hills, or that you’d think he was weird or stupid.
But instead, you’d blushed bright red and blessed his ears with a giggle, and all of Eddie’s worries and fears were banished from his mind at the sound of it.  
Eddie decided he was going to really enjoy taking every opportunity to make you blush.  
-
There were only two days until your IKEA trip with Eddie, and somehow you kept missing each other in the hallways at school.  On the rare occasion that Eddie had a spare moment, you were at some kind of art teacher workshop.  Whenever you could pull yourself away from decorating your classroom and lesson-planning, Eddie was leaving early for the day to go look at different types of Tubano drums for his classroom.  
There were a couple of staff meetings that everyone had to attend, but the two of you never ended up sitting next to each other.  Instead, you would indulge in a game of eye tag, making yourself feel like you were in high school all over again with a big fat crush.  
While you were really looking forward to your day out with Eddie, a tiny part of you was glad that you weren’t running into him constantly.  You found yourself overpouring your coffee in the morning because of the way the deep brown shade of the coffee matched the color of Eddie’s eyes.  You accidentally took a sip out of your paint water cup instead of your drinking cup because you were staring off at the lamps in your room, wondering which one had been Eddie’s favorite.  Two days was just what you needed to collect yourself enough to act like a normal human being before you saw Eddie again.  You weren’t even allowing yourself the time to think about being in a car with him for the hour that it took to get to IKEA.  All of the workshops, lesson plans and other preparation for the start of school kept you calm and collected.
Eddie, on the other hand, was reduced to a pile of chunky silver rings and nerves.  He couldn’t stop thinking about everything he had to get done before your trip…date?  Was it a date?  Did you say the word date when you asked him?  Is it even a date when the girl asks the guy-
Eddie’s frantic pacing is interrupted by a shark knock on his propped open classroom door.
“Yo, Munson.  How’s the…” Steve trailed off as he took in Eddie’s disheveled state.  “Dude.”
“I know, I know, man.” Eddie responds, plopping down in a chair that was meant for one of his students.  He puts his head in his hands, tugging on the roots to try and get a grip.
“What’s goin’ on, Ed?  I haven’t seen you this distraught since One Direction broke up.”  Steve sits on top of a desk next to Eddie, jabbing him softly in the shoulder after his lame attempt at getting a smile out of Eddie.  
Eddie chuckles and shakes his head at the stupid joke.  He looks up at Steve with a deep sigh, then stands up and grabs him by the shoulders.
“If I tell you, it stays between us.”  Eddie fixes Steve with a hard look and raised eyebrows, not any different from the look he gives his students when they’re getting up to no good.  “I’m so dead serious.”
Steve’s eyes widen at the sudden seriousness, making a cross over his chest with his finger.  “Yeah man, cross my heart and all that.”
Eddie lets go of Steve, slumping back into the chair with a huff.  
“How do you know that a date is a date, and not just a friend thing?”
Steve smiles cockily and leans forward, always interested in Eddie’s love life…or lack thereof.
“Well, I don’t know…I think I might have to hear a little more about this special lady in order for me to provide some of my good ol’ Harrington Love Advice.”  Steve wiggles his eyebrows at Eddie, throwing in a wink for the sake of being annoying.
Eddie rolls his eyes, he knew it was a mistake to bring up girls around this guy.  Steve was always giving Eddie pointers on how to get chicks the way he did, but Eddie was in no way similar to Steve when it came to relationships.  Steve never had nothing to do on the weekends, always with a new girl, sometimes even the single moms at school.  He’d meet them out at a bar, woo them, take them to dinner and then even sometimes back to his place.  Despite his fuck-boy tendencies, Eddie knows it’s never that meaningful for either party.  Steve’s been pining after one of the English teachers for years, and these flings are only serving as a way to satiate his intensely flirtatious side.  
As annoying as he may be, it would be nice to rant about all of his pent up loverboy feelings for you to Steve.  Eddie knows he’s just giving him a hard time, it’s one of the many love languages they share as best friends.
“I-it’s just…she’s so beautiful man, like…holy fuck.”  Eddie shakes his head in disbelief, looking off into the distance as he rambles on about you.  “I mean just…she looks like some kind of Elven princess-angel-goddess-fairy–”
“Dude, Ed.  None of that nerd shit please, say it to me in English.”
Eddie chuckles and shakes his head with a sigh.  
“Okay.  I really like her.  I haven’t felt this way in years, maybe ever.  We met officially yesterday and just…clicked.”
Steve smiles at Eddie as he talks about you, happy to see his friend so excited about someone.
“We made plans to go to IKEA this weekend, but I don’t know what to make of it?  Is it a date?  Should I bring her flowers?  What if I do bring her flowers and she gets weirded out because it was actually never a date at all?”
Steve holds his hands up like he’s trying to calm down an animal.  
“Woah there, buddy.  No need to get all freaked out about it.”  Steve can’t help but to laugh a little at the helpless look on his friend’s face.  “Let’s just start with the details, okay?  Who asked who?”
“She asked me.  I said I liked her lamps and then she said she got them at IKEA and then I said that I needed some for my room and then she said that we should go to IKEAandshopforsometogether-”
“Okay, okay man.  Take a deep breath.”  Steve motions for Eddie to inhale for a couple seconds.  
“Then let it all out.”  Eddie expels the breath from his lips in a hard huff, looking a little calmer.  “Alright.  So, she asked you?”
Eddie nods.
“That’s good, it means she’s interested!  Not a lot of women are making the first move these days, it means that she definitely wants a slice of Munson.”
Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, but still waits for him to go on.
“Are you picking her up for the trip to IKEA?”
“Yeah, I offered to pick her up and drive us both there since it’s about an hour away.”
Steve scratches his five o’clock stubble.
“Hmm…okay.  Did she like…jump at the chance for you to drive her or was there some hesitation before she agreed?”
Eddie thinks back to that moment.  How the two of you were standing slightly too close for new friends, the way your eyes seemed to sparkle as you looked up at him, how he was surprised you couldn’t hear his heart beating out of his chest.  
He remembers offering to drive the both of you to the store, surprising himself by saying it way calmer than he was feeling.  Your face lit up a little, like you were shocked that he’d even offer to pick you up and drive you there.  You smiled and nodded your head sweetly before agreeing out loud.
Eddie feels himself smiling at the tiny memory.
“It wasn’t like she immediately answered…but she definitely was smiling when she agreed.  She didn’t seem nervous about it or anything, it was more like she was excited or something.”
Steve’s eyebrows shoot up as a smirk emerges on his face.
“So let me see if I’m getting this straight.  She asked you to go to IKEA, probably knowing it was a long drive, and then she happily agreed to let you pick her up and drive the two of you there?  For a whole two hours there and back?”
Eddie nods, anxiously awaiting Steve’s opinion on all of this.
“I mean, it’ll probably be a good four or five hours that you spend together driving and shopping.”
Steve fixes Eddie with a look that says ‘c’mon man, it’s obvious.’
Eddie’s had enough of his edging.  “Will you just get to the fucking point please for the love of god?”
Steve sighs and claps a hand on Eddie's shoulder. 
“Ed, it’s a date.”
Eddie barks out a triumphant laugh and Steve does the same.  The two men high five and Steve wraps a beefy arm around Eddie’s shoulder to pat him on the chest.  Eddie can’t help but to let out a big sigh of relief now that he can stop worrying about how to act on this trip date.
-
On Friday, you could’ve sworn you went slightly neurotic.  
Since Tuesday you’d been considering your day with Eddie as a date, but it suddenly hit you that maybe he didn’t feel the same way.  What if you’d been doing all this worrying and freaking out for no reason?  What if he ends up calling you ‘dude’ the entire day?  What if he has a girlfriend already, and he just agreed to take you to IKEA so that you wouldn’t get your feelings hurt?
You’d been running circles in your head trying to prepare yourself for any and all possible outcomes that Saturday could hold for you, but none of it seemed to be doing you any good.
So, you did what you always did whenever you found yourself flipping out over something new.
You made a to-do list. 
Pick out an outfit.  Dress! too fancy…jeans?  Dress, definitely dress. not too fancy though…
Drink wine 
Watch movie
Clean house…again
Drink more wine
Possibly reconsider outfit…
After all was said and done, you plopped down on your worn-in couch, sufficiently drunk with a clean house and an outfit neatly hung up outside of your closet.  You decide to pour your third and final glass of wine for the evening, and to surrender your anxiety to the gods of love.  You hope and pray that they like you enough to let you have this one. 
-
It was finally Saturday.  Eddie stands in front of his closet furiously, wondering why in the fuck he can’t find a single thing to wear for his date with you today.  He’s got enough clothes to fill his entire closet, dresser, and a $20 clothing rack he picked up at Target years ago.  Steve said to just go with what felt the most like ‘Eddie’, but he’s suddenly unable to remember what his style even looks like.  
He wants to punch himself in the nuts for not taking the time last night to plan this all out like a normal person.  
He ends up settling for a fitted white tee, a pair of trusty black jeans, and black boots.  On a FaceTime call with Steve (so he could approve Eddie’s choice), Steve mentioned that the outfit was casual, but still fairly nice, and that the white shirt showed off his tattoos and muscles.
“Chicks dig the muscles and white tee combo, man.  Trust.”
Eddie chuckles at his friend’s ‘frat boy’ lingo, but the comment makes him feel better about his appearance anyways.  Last year, Steve had managed to convince Eddie to start going to the gym with him after school during the week, and it pains him to admit that he sort of really likes it now.  He likes how much stronger he feels, he likes sweating out all of his frustrations, and most of all he likes the way he fills out his t-shirts now.
After hanging up the call with Steve, Eddie flexes a little in his mirror before leaving to go pick you up.  He decides to do a few last minute push ups and to moisturize the tattoos on his arms so that he looks extra good for you.
-
Perhaps being slightly neurotic about this date was a good idea.
Thanks to all of your meticulous planning, you managed to get completely ready with a half hour to spare.  You decided against sitting on your couch until Eddie arrived since the nervous butterflies in your stomach made you want to throw up, so you opted to wander around your house for the remainder of the time.
You pass by your mirror, doing a final check and making sure your outfit and makeup are up to par.  You’d decided on a simple white dress, with a denim button up thrown over it and your pair of black chelsea boots that had yet to let you down.  You smile at your reflection, happy that you’d managed to choose a comfy and cute outfit that felt like you.
There’d been too many dates before this one where you’d gone out and spent insane amounts of money on brand new outfits that you weren’t even sure you really liked, all in the name of impressing your date and hoping he likes you enough to ask you out on a second one.  When prepping for those dates, you spent hours upon hours running around like a mad woman.  Shaving, plucking, tweezing, waxing.  Making sure your hair curled just right and that your eyeliner was sexy, but not slutty.
You couldn’t figure out why Eddie felt so different to you.  Even though the nerves of a first date had really freaked you out the night before, this morning was fairly calm.  Sure, you took plenty of time in the shower and doing your hair and makeup, but it didn’t feel like you were trying to morph into a different version of yourself to please a man. 
It felt more like you were trying your best to look like your favorite version of yourself. 
You want Eddie to know who you are inside and outside of work, and you really hope that he likes what he finds. 
-
Eddie stays parked outside of your house for a minute or two to try and settle his nerves.  
You lived in a small, red brick house in a family neighborhood.  There were flowers planted in the beds under your windows, and your front door was painted a deep turquoise color.  Eddie sucks in a breath when he sees your figure moving around through the gauzy white curtains covering your windows.  
How can a hazy silhouette still be so beautiful?
Looking into his rearview mirror, Eddie takes a deep breath.
“You got this man.  Be cool.”
He turns his car off and makes his way to your front door, knocking three times and then taking a step back to wait for you.
It takes all of two seconds for your front door to swing open, revealing you on the other side.
Eddie immediately feels weak in the knees.  You looked so cute in your little boots, and he couldn’t help but to let his eyes trail up the smooth skin of your legs.  He gulped a bit at the short hem of your dress, and then realized he should probably say something.
“Hey you.”
“Hi,” You smile up at him bashfully as he looks you up and down.  You take the opportunity to look him over as well, and damn.  You already knew he was sexy, but his tight tee shirt and pulled back hair made you want to drag him into your house and do things to him…
You only notice that he’s been holding a hand behind his back when he brings it out in front of him, revealing a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  
“These are for you.  I didn’t know which was your favorite, so I just asked the lady to throw together a bunch of different kinds and to make it look pretty.”  Eddie holds the colorful bouquet out to you and smiles sheepishly.  
Your mouth hangs open as you reach out to take them, being so careful for no real reason.  You look up at Eddie with those big, sparkling eyes.
“Thank you so much, Eddie.  These are so incredibly beautiful,” he watches you looking down at the flowers, gently brushing your fingers against their petals.  “Let me run inside and find a vase for them real quick.  Come on in!”
You wave him in behind you and hurry inside.
Eddie tries to suppress the excitement he feels at being invited into your home.  He felt like he already got a good glimpse at who you are and how you express yourself when he was inside your classroom, but he’s now getting to see where you spend the majority of your time, where you live.  As he steps over the threshold and into your house, he readies his brain to take mental pictures of everything he sets his eyes on, just in case he never sees it again.
Instantly, he’s hit with a sense of “home.”  The inside of your house is the perfect temperature and it smells so good and womanly, like your perfume and also like you’ve been baking something but somehow also like flowers…Eddie loves it already.
You scurry off into the kitchen, trying not to think about the fact that Eddie Munson is looking around your house right now.
Where in the hell have all of your vases run off to?
Eddie walks around cooly with his hands clasped behind his back, taking in everything about your space.  Much like your classroom, Eddie is able to spot at least four different sized lamps and light fixtures placed around your entryway and living room.  There were warm white Christmas lights hung up along the ceiling, multiple green-leaved plants in different corners, and Eddie even thinks he spotted a black cat sprinting under your soft looking white sectional.
Overall, he’d give your interior design skills an 11/10. 
He’s just starting to miss you a little when you come out from your kitchen holding your flowers in a sparkly glass vase.  
It’s an odd feeling, seeing Eddie in your house.  His ‘edgier’ look seems like it wouldn’t fit with your overall aesthetic, but to your surprise he looks like he belongs here.  You walk up to him almost in a daze, admiring the silver hoop earrings he’s wearing, the smile on his lips, and the way some of his hair has made its way out of his low bun to frame his face.  
The two of you stand there for a moment looking at each other, with you holding your flowers in between your bodies.  You engage in a staring match for almost a second too long before you break the silence.
“No one’s ever gotten me flowers before,” you sheepishly admit, looking down at them instead of at him.  Eddie grins at the blush that blooms onto your cheeks after your prolonged eye contact.
Eddie scoffs before he can stop himself.
“Seriously?  That’s a damn shame, sweetheart.”
You look up at him again and try not to faint at how easily the word fell from his perfect lips.  Unable to take another second of his eyes on yours, you retreat into your living room to find the perfect place for your new flowers.  You decide to put them on your coffee table, then turn around to find that Eddie had followed you in.  
He offers his arm out to you, “Shall we?”
This time, you can’t fight the smile.
You take his arm and swipe your purse from the coat hanger next to your front door on your way out.
-
Eddie was the perfect gentleman for the entire duration of the car ride to IKEA.  He had opened the car door for you, he let you pick the music, and he definitely did not sneak a glimpse at your bare, voluminous thighs when your dress shifted as you sat down.  The sweet smell of your perfume spread throughout the interior of his truck, he hopes that smell never fades away.
He couldn’t help glancing over at you every other minute, looking so beautiful in his passenger seat while you bobbed your head to whatever song you had queued up on his phone. 
“Would it be a total invasion of privacy if I played your On Repeat playlist?  I’m dying to know what the music teacher’s favorite music is right now.”  Eddie turned to see that you were smiling pleadingly at him, and how could he say no to that face?
“I suppose,” Eddie sighs dramatically.  “But, you are not allowed to judge me for whatever pops up.”  He playfully points a finger at you while keeping his eyes on the road.  You giggle girlishly.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
You hit ‘shuffle’ on Eddie’s playlist and aren’t surprised when the first song that plays through the speakers is ‘The Unforgiven ll’ by Metallica.  You already knew Eddie was a fan of the band thanks to the music he always has playing a tad too loudly whenever you pass by his classroom.
“Oh, I know this song!”
Eddie’s face whips towards you sporting a shocked ‘you’ve gotta be kidding me’ expression.  He was definitely expecting you to be the ‘indie music’ type.  Your eyebrows furrow adorably angrily at the look on his face.  
“What?  A girl can’t like Metallica?” You fix him with a look that tells Eddie he should think twice about his response.
“W-well…I just didn’t expect you to be into them…that’s all.”  You roll your eyes playfully at him and cross your arms.  “But!  I’m very pleasantly surprised that you are!  Girls rule, alright?  Men like…totally suck and stuff.”
You chuckle at his frantic attempt at avoiding a lecture on gender inequality and feminism while settling back into your seat.  And because you actually do know and love this song, you start mouthing the words, which eventually evolves into singing them under your breath.
When Eddie thought he spotted you mouthing the words out of the corner of his eye, he was sure that his eyes were playing tricks on him.  But just barely hearing you singing the words to his favorite Metallica song just further confirmed a fact that he already knew.
Eddie Munson was totally going to fall in love with you.
The rest of the car ride consisted of sharing music, talking about work and life, childhood memories, and other random topics.  Eddie discovered that you love thunderstorms, your cat’s name is Pascal (after the chameleon from Tangled), and that you moved here at the beginning of summer from Chicago.
Eddie swears there’s never been a conversation in history that flowed as well as yours and his.  He felt like he’s known you for years, and he hopes you’re feeling the same way.
You totally are.
-
Once the two of you made it to IKEA and inside the giant store, Eddie quickly realized that he never really put any thought into what he actually wanted to buy for his classroom.  You swiftly came to his rescue and pulled out your phone to open up Pinterest.
Together, you found a couple pictures that matched the general vibe of Eddie’s classroom.  He grabbed a map of the store and a cart, and set off into the maze of furniture.  
You were back to being shy again, now that you were out in the wild with Eddie.  He found that making jokes about all of the funny names got you giggling, and so he didn’t miss an opportunity.
He made you laugh the hardest next to the Koppang drawers.
You bumped your shoulder into his around the Baggebo bookcases.
His hand brushed yours next to a Tornviken kitchen island. 
And Eddie finally worked up the courage to hold your hand next to a Klippan loveseat.
You gasped a little when you felt his warm hand slide into yours, interlocking your fingers together.  A red hot blush worked its way up your neck as you snuck a glance over at him, only to find that he was already looking at you with a smirk.  He knows exactly what this hand holding is doing to you.
He chuckles smugly as the two of you arrive at the lights section of the store.  As he pushes the cart through the aisles, you’re enamored by the twinkling lights that are draped overhead.  You’re lucky he’s holding your hand, or else you probably would’ve fallen flat on your face.  Eddie can’t help but to stare at you as you stare up at all the different light fixtures.  The different colors and hues of light shine beautifully onto your face, and the soft smile on your lips makes Eddie wish he could just grab you and kiss you right here in the aisle.  But, he figures that would cause you to explode after your reaction to his hand-holding.
He watches as you look further down the aisle at the lamps that are on display there, your face lighting up in recognition.
“Oh!  That’s one that I’ve got in my room!”  You point at an orange, donut shaped light called a Varmblixt.  Eddie recognizes it, you do indeed have one hanging on the wall behind your desk.
“I must have it,” Eddie says with a flourish ,”Never have I seen a more extraordinary donut lamp.”
You giggle and go to grab one to place in the cart, but the box proves to be way heavier than you remember.  Eddie notices as soon as you inhale to exert more effort, and he steps in immediately. 
 No fair maiden such as you should be forced to exert any effort whatsoever in his presence.
“I’ve got it, sweetheart.”
You try not to let the name affect you but once again, you fail.  You’re left blushing and biting your lip, speechless.  You stare unashamed at Eddie as he picks up the heavy box and goes to place it in the cart with ease.  The overhead lights were really doing him favors, every ridge and contour of his body was lit to perfection.  You could see the delicious bulge of his biceps, the ripple of his forearm muscles, and the outline of his chest in his shirt….why is your mouth watering?
Eddie easily places the box in the cart, turning to face you again.  He finds you blushing up at him with wide eyes, and is unable to contain the smug smirk on his face.  The sudden lack of distance between the two of you did not go unnoticed by him, he hoped you couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest.
The ‘normal you’ would’ve noticed that you were obviously in Eddie’s personal bubble, and you would’ve taken a step back like the respectable adult that you are.  But the ‘normal you’ was long gone in Eddie’s presence.  This version of you was not unlike the version that existed when you were an awkward teenager who was on the brink of passing out anytime a boy even breathed in your direction. 
While you were busy ogling Eddie’s physique, you’d failed to notice the close proximity between the two of you, which led you to your current situation.  
You and him were so close together, you could feel the warm puffs of air from between his parted lips gently hitting your face.  His gaze trailed down from your eyes to your lips, but you wouldn’t have noticed anyways because you were one step ahead of him.
His lips looked so pillowy and soft, you wondered how they’d feel pressed against yours.  Would he kiss you slowly, gently holding your face in his big hands and brushing his thumbs along the apples of your cheeks?  Or would he be rougher than that, grabbing you by the waist and tugging you into him, kissing you with fire and passion?
Eddie’s eyebrows furrow as he watches you suck your bottom lip into your mouth to bite it.  You’re so goddamn beautiful, and you looked like an angel in this aisle of lights.  A lamp from behind you lights up the silhouette of your hair like a halo, and he can see the lights above his head reflected in your eyes like stars.  
Eddie knows he shouldn’t kiss you right now, not in the middle of IKEA where he can hear kids whining to their parents and couples arguing over which shade of beige would match their living room better.  He knows this, but he can’t stop himself from reaching his hand up to gently grasp your jaw.  His thumb slides from your chin to your bottom lip, tugging it free from your teeth.
His hand snakes down to the side of your neck, and you can feel the slight tremor in his hand.  You’re glad that the situation is affecting him too, because you are freaking out.  
Is he going to kiss you right now?  
In IKEA?
On your first date? 
Is this even a date?  
Do you even want him to kiss you?  Idiot, of course you want him to.
Eddie’s eyebrows lift slightly, almost questioning you.  Asking you, ‘Do you want this? Is this okay?’
You answer him with a soft smile, and you feel his hand move behind your neck to pull you in.
It is at this moment that a baby starts to wail one aisle over, effectively ruining any sort of moment you and Eddie had been sharing.
He lets out a frustrated huff, and touches his forehead to yours with closed eyes.  
“Of course,” he groans.
You’re secretly giddy at the fact that he so obviously wanted to kiss you badly.  You bring your hand up to his arm that’s still resting on your neck to give it a reassuring squeeze, and in a surprising burst of confidence, you rise up on your toes to peck him on the cheek.
Eddie’s eyes shoot open at the feeling of your soft lips on his cheek.  He pulls back to stare down at you as his face turns red.
You giggle at him, then turn around to walk down the aisle.
“C’mon, I think I saw another one of my lamps down this way!”
Eddie snaps himself out of his daze with a shake of his head, he’s sure that he’s got hearts in his eyes as he watches you walk away from him.  Grabbing the cart with one hand, he holds his other gently to his cheek, touching the spot that’s still warm from your lips.
-
Eddie ends up purchasing five lamps from IKEA after an hour and a half of wandering through the aisles with you.  
He can’t help but to act like the loverboy he is when he’s looking at furniture with you.  He fantasizes about a life with you, imagining that the two of you are actually here to pick out items to furnish your shared house.  
He wonders which kind of wood floors you’d pick out and which backsplash you’d want in the kitchen.  You’d probably want to decorate with colorful rugs and throw pillows, and Eddie wouldn’t complain.  Not as long as you’re happy.   He’d live in a pink house decorated with bows and lace trim as long as he was living in it with you.  
Maybe he’s getting ahead of himself, it’s only your first date together right?
If only he knew you were having similar thoughts as you strolled up and down the aisles, hand in hand.  You thought about what kind of decorating he did in his house, you figured it was styled in some way considering the amount of effort he puts into making his classroom look as cool as it does.  Does he have shelves full of records or different posters framed and hung up on his wall?  Which side of the bed does he sleep on?  You hope he likes plants, there’s no way you could part with your beloved greenery if the two of you were to live together.
You’re quick to silence the random thoughts buzzing around in your head, it’s silly to think about these things on your very first date…you don’t even know his middle name yet!
You and Eddie both seem to snap out of your stupors at the same time, sighing simultaneously.  You both turn to look at each other and then begin to laugh, unsure on whether or not the ‘jinx’ rules apply in a sighing situation.  
-
Eddie pays for the lights, and soon enough you’re both back in his truck.  
It dawns on you that your date is almost over, but you’re quickly redirected when you hear the starting notes to the next song that starts playing when Eddie’s phone connects to his radio.
Is that…Taylor Swift?
You turn to him slowly, confused at why a Taylor Swift song is on his ‘On Repeat’ Spotify playlist.
Eddie’s already staring at you mortified.  He holds a hand up, pausing any words that might’ve come out of your mouth.
“Before you say anything,” he begins ,”I really admire her lyricism.  Girl’s a wizard with words.”
The two of you sit in a charged silence for a moment before you can’t hold in your reaction any longer.  A laugh breaks free from your chest, and Eddie can’t  help but to laugh along with you.
You’re wiping tears from your eyes as your laughter dies down, and Eddie just grins at you.
“I can’t believe it.  The rock and roll music teacher listens to enough Taylor Swift for it to end up on his ‘On Repeat’ playlist.”  You shake your head at him with a wide smile on your face that Eddie wants to take a picture of and frame.  
“Yeah, yeah…laugh it up.  As a music teacher, it’s my duty to appreciate all types of music.”
You nod along to his explanation, “Yes, of course.  How else are you supposed to connect with the teenage girls these days?”
“Right! Yes!”  Eddie exclaims.  “I do this lesson on lyrics and Taylor’s music is a great example of what storytelling in music can look like.  I respect her, hard.”
You stifle another laugh at his emotional Taylor Swift themed outburst.
“This stays between you and I alright?” Eddie points a finger at you playfully.  “If Harrington gets word of this I’ll never live it down.”
“Of course, my lips are sealed.”  You mime zipping your lips shut and throwing away the key.
Eddie settles back into his seat with a huff, boyishly smiling over at you.
“I have a very important question for you Eddie.”
He leans in, intrigued by your seriousness. 
“Which era are you in right now?”
Eddie scoffs, throwing his head back with a groan.  This sends you into another laughing fit, Eddie can’t help but to join in again.  He’s coming to find out that your joy is such an infectious thing.
“Hmm let’s see…,” he muses.  He turns to look at you with one hand on the wheel and a smirk on his face as he puts his keys in the ignition.  
“Right now…I’d have to go with ‘Lover,’” he says with a wink.
Your laughter is cut off abruptly as you gasp and bite your lip, attempting to subdue the cheesy grin that’s surely made its way onto your face by now.  
You stare unashamed as Eddie puts his right hand over the back of your seat to turn around and look through the rear window as he reverses the car out of its parking spot.  You can smell the cologne he must’ve sprayed on this morning, which immediately awakens the butterflies in your stomach.
As soon as Eddie is set on the route back to your house, he holds out his hand expectantly over his center console.  You look at it, then at him, then back at his hand before shyly placing your hand in his.  He’s quick to lace his fingers through yours, holding on tight and running his thumb back and forth.
You’re both thinking that you could get used to this.
-
Eddie (reluctantly) only lets go of your hand in order to rush around the front of his truck to open your car door for you after he’s pulled into your driveway.  He’s quiet as he walks you to your front door, wondering which way is the best way to ask you out on another date.  
You stop when you reach your door, looking down at your hand in his.  The silence begins to feel just a tad awkward as you both search for something to fill it.
“Thank you,” you start quietly ,”for today.  I had a wonderful time.”
Eddie lets out a relieved breath and grins widely down at you.
“I did too,” he begins, readying himself for his next question.  “Would you…I mean–would you like to…uh…shit, would you want to maybe do it again sometime?”
You know what he means, but it’s still so tempting to tease him when he’s blushing like this.
“Would I want to go to IKEA with you again?”
“N-no!  I mean, if you wanted to we could I guess…b-but I was thinking something more along the lines of dinner?”
You find it adorable how nervous he is to ask you out on a second date, as if you wouldn’t agree to go out to dinner with him tonight.
“I’d love that.”
Eddie’s face lights up with a triumphant smile as he lets out the anxious breath he’d been holding in.  
“Good, that’s really good.”  The way you’re smiling up at him right now is causing him to lose his train of thought.  “Um…how’s tomorrow night?  Around 7?”
“Tomorrow night is perfect.”
“Awesome.  Great, yeah I’ll just…I’ll pick you up, okay?”
You’re beaming as you nod your head, much too ecstatic at the idea of going out with Eddie again to form a coherent sentence.
Eddie finds himself smiling and nodding with you, you’re just too adorable. 
“Hey could I uh…c-could I get your number?” Eddie stammers the question out like he’s a prepubescent teenager, mentally face palming the whole time.
He’s relieved when you chuckle and hold your hand out for him to place his phone in.  He fumbles around trying to give you his phone as quickly as possible, he can’t believe how nervous he feels right now. 
He finally somehow manages to pass over his phone with a new contact page pulled up and ready for you.  You type in your number and name, making sure to add the artist’s palette emoji afterwards.  Eddie laughs through his nose when he sees it, then pockets his phone again.  
There’s a weird tension in the air that can only be brought upon by two people who so obviously want to kiss each other, but are too nervous to make the first move.  Eddie wracks his brain for a way to ask you if it’d be okay for him to kiss you without looking like a total idiot.  It’s really unfortunate that the way you bite your lip causes his mind to completely shut off and switch to autopilot.  
“I really wanna kiss you right now,” he blurts out.
You look up at him, shocked at his bluntness.  Eddie’s even more shocked than you are.
“Y-you probably should then,” you bashfully admit.
Eddie can’t believe that worked.
He steps towards you and softly places one hand on your cheek, the other going to gently grasp the side of your neck similarly to the way he had in IKEA during your almost-kiss.
Your eyes flutter closed as you feel his lips graze yours for the first time.  The feeling is electrifying, and you can’t help but to venture forward for more.  
Your lips were just as soft, if not softer, than Eddie imagined. 
You plunge forward to press your lips against his, instantly deepening the kiss.  Eddie found himself instantly addicted to the feel of your lips and the way you sigh into the kiss.  It’s a shy kiss at first, where the two of you slowly begin to figure out your shared rhythm.  But it wasn’t long before you sank into a synchronized dance, mirroring each other’s movements in a way that crafted the most perfect, earth shattering first kiss.  
You let Eddie Munson kiss you at your front door in a way that you had longed to be kissed for your entire life.  This was how the women you saw in movies or read about in books were kissed.  You’d read about magic and sparks flying, and you think you’re finally starting to believe in all of it.  
Eddie moves his hand from your cheek to your waist, gripping it and pulling you closer to him.  The gasp you let out gave him the sweet opportunity to run his tongue against your bottom lip, asking, pleading for an entrance which you of course granted.  You tasted like autumn and felt like home, he decided he could kiss you for hours on end.
You both stood there for a good five minutes at your front door, making out like giddy teenagers and feeling like them too.  Eddie finally pulls away from your lips, pleased to find you subtly chasing his mouth with your own.  You open your eyes and come out of your kiss-induced haze to find him smiling adoringly down at you with both hands now circling your waist.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss you once more. 
“Actually, I’m gonna call you tonight.”  He kisses you again.  “Is that okay?”  Another peck.
You're giggling as he places a final kiss on your forehead, “Yes, please.”
“Good.”
Eddie steps back, grabbing your hand to kiss it like he did on Tuesday.  He pulls you back in with that same hand to plant one last kiss on your lips, then jogs back to his truck.  He waves and quickly honks his horn twice as he pulls away.  
You’re left standing at your front door, watching his truck disappear down your street and reliving every moment of your first kiss with Eddie Munson.
When you finally make your way inside, you make sure to smell your brand new beautiful flowers before scurrying off to your bedroom to pick out an outfit for your second date with Eddie tomorrow night.  
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TAGLIST:
@josephquinnsfreckles @the-fairy-anon @anukulee @littlebebebunny @meetmeatyourworst @lalalala-melmosworld @someantics @lokis-army-77 @loserboysandlithium @strangerstilinski @mystra-midnight @lesservillain @queenimmadolla @luveline @munson-blurbs @fairyysoup @urhoneycombwitch @oneforthemunny @rebelfell @taintedcigs @wroteclassicaly @eiightysixbaby @bettyfrommars @loveshotzz @lovebugism @carolmunson @rustedhearts @lonelysatellites
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citricacidprince · 4 months ago
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could you draw the courtroom scene with relativity falls? (mabels bubble)
Gladly!!! I’ve already brought up some Stan Weirdmageddon Bubble stuff here, but the equivalent of the Mabel Trial for Stan makes me wanna blow up I just adore it!!
Okay, so first things first, here’s Captain Stan’s design, my precious baby boy <3
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Figured it’d be fun to mix some aspects of Grunkle Stan’s Mr. Mystery outfit with a pirate twist, just for fun!
As for the ‘trial’, its more of a argument between two boys who just WONT talk about their issues
Fiddleford, Boyish Dan, and Anjelita are also there, but Stan isn’t mad at them. In fact, he doesn’t even care that they’re breaking the rules by being there, he’s only mad at Ford. He’s mad that Ford was just going to leave him behind and send Stan back to New Jersey by himself while he stayed and studied with their Grunkle Dipper. Leaving Stan all by himself at home. Alone to deal with their father. Alone with no friends. Alone to be the family disappointment.
But no matter how mad he gets at Ford, Stan can’t ever say that he’s hates him, and Stan would give him a million chances to fix things. So, instead of immediately throwing Ford off the deck of his ship, he gives him an ultimatum. A very easy solution to all of this.
All Ford has to do is say that he’s sorry, and Stan would let him go. He won’t leave the bubble because he actually really likes it in there, but he’ll let Ford go.
This.. doesn’t end very well
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Stan, absolutely heartbroken, decides to make his brother walk the plank. If he’s dead to Ford, well then Ford is dead to him as well.
However, right before his crew could push Ford into the water, something happened.
You see, when Stan unknowingly gave the rift to Bill he only had one wish. That he’d never be alone again. So when he first appeared in his bubble it was actually completely dark and empty, except for a small light glowing in his hands. It was a little version of Ford. He smiled and laughed just like he did when they were a bit younger, and he said everything Stan wanted to hear.
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Very quickly Stan realized he could manipulate the bubble and create anything that he wanted, just like he could back in the Mindscape. So he created what he knew. Glass Shard Beach, New Jerseys. It was full of never ending boardwalks, houses and attractions with silly names, and that beach he loved so much. It didn’t take long after that to realize it was still quite lonely, even with Lil’ Ford (a name he lovingly gave the small version of his brother). However, he didn’t want the town to be full of faceless nobodies or people he actually knew, that’d be weird.
Then he had the genius idea to just fill the town with himself! After all, he never had to worry about himself betraying him or leaving him behind!
Soon the town was overrun with imperfect duplicates of himself and he couldn’t have been any happier.
However, the duplicates were so much like him that it soon made a new problem arise. They started asking about Ford. Like, ‘Where is he?’ ‘Can you make one?’ ‘I miss having him around.’
Stan did have Lil’ Ford hidden under his pirate hat, but he didn’t want to tell the other Stans that he was there. He didn’t know exactly why he kept Lil’ Ford hidden away. Probably a mixture of bitterness and anger still aimed at his real twin brother and a selfishness to keep Lil’ Ford to himself. So he just declared that Fords were banned altogether and left it at that.
This was a problem when right as Stanford was about to pushed off the plank, Lil’ Ford came out from under the Captain’s hat and told Stan to stop all of this.
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The two bicker for a moment and some Stans ask who that is, causing Lil’ Ford to happily state that he’s Stanley’s brother, that the two are going to sail the world together, and that he loves Stan very dearly.
This doesn’t go over well with literally any of the Stan on board and it especially doesn’t go over well with Ford
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The Stans pull a mutiny and try to kill Stan because they don’t think he should be Captain anymore and one of them should run the town instead.
Hard cut to Boyish Dan, Anjelita, Fiddleford, Ford, and Stan having a high speed boat chase with other Stans and popping the bubble while escaping. (I like to think Stan popped the bubble at the last second with the help of Shanklin <3 )
Stan is NOT happy about having to leave his Weirdmageddon bubble.
“You should have left me in there. I was HAPPY there.”
“Who cares if you were happy, you were living a lie! A sad delusion! You should be happy we pulled you out of there!”
Boyish Dan has it cut in before the two start fighting right then and there
Stan eventually calms down enough to decide that he’s going to save their Grunkle Dipper from Bill, but there is a thick tension between Stan and Ford that last until the huge blow out fight at the Cipher Wheel
A fight that started because Stan wanted Ford to finally say it.
‘I’m Sorry.’
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velvet4510 · 2 months ago
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You know, when it comes to the four Cherik actors, the old men walked so the young men could run.
We all give McAvoy and Fassbender the love they deserve, but honestly we wouldn’t have any onscreen Cherik at all if those two old Shakespeare vets hadn’t laid such a strong foundation a whole decade prior in the original trilogy.
Remember that Stewart and McKellen had no beach divorce to work off of. First Class wasn’t even a thought in any writer’s head yet when the OG trilogy was filmed. And yet they understood the assignment from day 1 - the “exes who never got over each other” vibes are just pouring off of both of them in every scene, especially from their eyes, starting from the very first moment Stewart’s jaw drops and his breathing stops as he sees McKellen in the shadows of the Congress crowd, and McKellen then manages to make a threatening line like “don’t get in my way” sound so … gentle. Be it outside Congress or in the plastic prison or outside Jean’s house, you can feel the weight of their shared history bearing down on them, a weight so palpable it’s on the verge of crushing them both every time they so much as lock eyes.
And you can see echoes of the young men Charles and Erik used to be in their performances … you can fill in the gaps with First Class details thanks to their level of nuance.
Every time they call each other “old friend,” you can hear the underlying emotions they haven’t figured out how to express aloud, and the hidden knowledge that those two words only scratch the surface of what they really are to each other.
Within Stewart’s heartbroken look in all of his closeups in their first scene on the Congress walkway in X1, you can see the yearning of a man remembering the first time this other man walked away from him and wishing he knew how to convince him to stay now, like he did then.
Within McKellen randomly name-dropping Charles throughout the trilogy (like when Sabretooth reports the X-Men knew about Rogue and when he’s headed to Alcatraz), you can hear the obsession of a guy embittered by years of opposition but with a secret piece of his heart still living in that moment when he first heard a beautiful voice in his head pulling him back from the darkness.
Within Stewart’s whispered “what’s happened to you?” at the sight of a bruised eye, you can see the grief of a man remembering the sense of a wave of horror and trauma pouring off someone down in the water, and now seeing that same someone has been abused again, and just like then, he wasn’t there to stop it, to protect Erik from getting hurt.
Within their suppressed smiles in the prison scenes and their repartee outside young Jean’s house, you can tell these two banged 40 years ago. You can feel faint echoes of the two guys who once sat on a bed showing off their powers and saying stuff like “more tea, vicar?” and “you’ve never looked more beautiful, darling.” (I even noticed that at the end of X1, in the “I will always be there” exchange, the camera placement leaves their hands out of frame, so they’re obviously touching each other’s arms in that moment but we can’t see exactly where - it makes me imagine that Charles briefly touched Erik’s hand before being wheeled away and that’s why Erik sits frozen for a moment before toppling his king. Again, it’s those actors’ nuances that give birth to these implications.)
Within McKellen’s facial expression of pure anguish and his scream of “CHARLES!” at Jean’s house, you can hear the soul being ripped from the body of a man whose life was, long ago, forever changed by the words “there’s so much more to you than you know, not just pain and anger … there’s good too, I felt it…”
You know two actors are at the top of their game when they’re able to convey the exact history of their two characters long before any actual prequels imprint that history in canon.
I do wonder if Stewart and McKellen watched First Class before they filmed Days of Future Past - it’s impossible to tell because regardless, they once again gave it their all, especially in the Rogue Cut. They took a little sentence “in other words, a door” and a little piece of direction to smirk and nod, and somehow made it one of the most flirtatious/erotic moments of the series. And then of course at the end, they gave us the most heartbreaking moment of the series and one of the top 10 most heartbreaking moments in any comic-book movie ever, period. You know the one.
I’m just so impressed with them for what they started. It all started with them. They knew what they were doing.
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temis-de-leon · 3 months ago
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He has a nightmare where he rejected you
Characters: Solomon and Simeon (x gn!reader, separately)
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4
Main Masterlist
CW: spoilers for Simeon's character development in the OG game (I haven't played NB yet).
A/N: brace yourselves for Simeon's part because I still can't write him.
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Solomon – He will inevitably lose you
From all the things he thought he would miss when he reached immortality, being able to remember his exact age wasn’t one of them; and yet, there was the regret.
He tells himself is not that deep; that reaching the thousands is already an impressive achievement, but lying to himself has its limits.
Maybe, if he hadn’t been so occupied tracking demons of interest and travelling the realms in search of knowledge, he would’ve had the time to keep score and be aware of just how long he had been roaming amongst the rest of his kind.
Maybe, if those who cared for him stayed longer than their perishable bodies allowed, someone would’ve been there to remind him.
And there were only so many burials he could attend before finally throwing the towel and accepting the emotional safety of solely seeking the company of immortals like him.
But then, centuries later, the human exchange program happens and you make him feel like reuniting with an old friend, even if you’ve never met before.
So he listens to experience.
So he remembers all those funerals he’d attended in the past; all those faces lost to time and inevitable death.
You’re way too enticing to ignore and of course, there’s the need to protect the fellow human surrounded by demons (never mind he acts like one too), but he knows how to stay occupied and at a distance, keeping his feelings at bay.
Casual friendship is the limit he willingly stops at.
He knows that if he allows himself to accept and reciprocate your love, the only important number in his life wouldn’t be his age anymore, but the day he’d inevitably lose you forever.
Tears pooled in his eyes as a violent coughing fit made him bend over, lungs pushing themselves up his throat in an attempt to escape from the stench and the toxic effects of the room’s atmosphere.
Ventilation.
He needed to open the windows.
It was like a cloud had entered his laboratory; a dense, humid fog that barely covered the furniture and crushed against the walls like a rot-smelling milky tide.
Still, Solomon wasn’t sure whether his tears were caused by the abnormal air around him or that unpleasant nightmare he just had.
Although he tried not to think about it, especially the heartbroken expression on your face, the scene did nothing more but repeat in his mind. His words and reasoning carried some logic, yet he couldn’t imagine a universe where that would’ve ever happened.
He enjoyed risks and danger but had never been masochist enough to deny himself of your company; on the contrary, the sole idea of spending time with you was usually a strong motivation to finish his work quickly and make some free time in his schedule, so rejecting being your lover was the strangest and unlikeliest idea he could’ve ever had.
Making that damn potion sure was another one.
Ironically, it was supposed to be a gift for you to use with him as a bonding couple activity, a concoction he had been experimenting on for days to use as introspection into your relationship. His original intention was to glimpse into your possible futures and even your alternative pasts, to see which other ways you had fallen in love with each other; not to witness a rejection.
Had that happened, then? In another timeline? Or had that nightmare been a fragment of his sad imagination?
Thankfully, the air inside the laboratory started to purify the moment he opened the window. He felt his thoughts return to rational and realistic as the fresh breeze of the Devildom night hit him right in his face. The fog, icy and moist, slithered around him and past the window into the darkness, dissipating and completely disappearing from his line of sight. However, behind him, the potion was still bubbling and rattling the cauldron, threatening to throw it to the ground.
Was it the measurements? The temperature of the fire? The direction of the stirring?
Trial and error; success didn’t come one’s way by dumb luck.
With a flick of the wrist and a sour scowl, he magically extinguished the overworked flames and threw the dangerous mixture down the drain.
It would be better to leave his experiment alone for a few more days, though. Perhaps even a week. That would be enough time for him to forget the dreadful nightmare, or at least try to do so. Until then, he’d leave the windows open, hoping the scattered fog didn’t affect any unsuspecting creature on the street, and close the laboratory under lock and key.
Solomon would buy you flowers and sweets and each good thing you deserved in life until the day came when he could give you something better.
Trial and error.
Simeon – The consequences could be fatal
You see.
He lived through the cautionary tale, a horrific incident that affected everyone involved, so he is painfully aware of how any potential intimacy between you two could end.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be like that, of course, but he knows that if he gets to love you, he’ll take risks and chances. Everything you could ever need, Simeon would give you, and not even the pearly gates of the Celestial Realm would be enough to stop him.
Lillith’s treason against their home in favour of her human lover would repeat in his hands if the situation required it.
His love runs deep and he knows so from the very first moment he sees you.
Although, at first, there isn’t anything extraordinary about your friendship.
He still appreciates it. It’s a carefree arrangement, for lack of a better word, light and kind in nature, and it helps him ease into the Devildom in a way he didn’t think existed.
You hang out sometimes, mostly because of Luke and his strong angelic need to protect your pure human soul, and you study together every once in a while, but your shared time isn’t enough to spark the flames of romantic attraction.
It’s easier to let you go when you have seven demanding demons trailing behind you like lost puppies; an amusing sight and a welcomed one.
And still, you choose him.
Why?
Is it his gentle demeanour? Or the determination shining underneath? Is it because he’s so different from the brothers, who show no remorse in admitting their darkest desires regarding their love for you?
He feels forced to reject you and he does as such, basking in the reassurance that you’ll both keep your friendship intact.
Don’t be mistaken; he loves you as well, but he doesn’t feel like that love belongs to the angel he used to be.
It was a melodic sound what woke him up, a tune he recognized as a warning coming from his new laptop.
Frowning and groaning in discomfort, Simeon brushed his hair away from his forehead and tried to rub off the imprints left on his skin by the keyboard. The document in front of him was full of random letters and numbers, no wonder a product of his unconsciously moving head, and a message on the screen asked for his authorization to carry out some type of order.
He didn’t quite fully understand what it asked, so, as per your usual requests, he closed the laptop and kept it inside his backpack.
Now at least he had a reason to visit you.
Not like he needed one, but the brothers, especially Lucifer, tended to leave you both alone more frequently if there was.
Thinking about them made the nightmare reappear and remain fresh in his mind, but somehow, surprisingly, it didn’t bother him as much as It should’ve. While the aspect of rejecting you hurt his heart in a special way, he knew he ultimately didn’t do it and chose the better option; but it was everything else what was stopping him from forgetting about it before leaving to see you.
He was changing, wasn’t he? It wasn’t your fault, you were merely an adding factor, but the truth was undeniable.
No longer the angel he used to be and neither a human, there were parts of himself he couldn’t keep ignoring. The darkness within that could compete with a demon’s, Lord Diavolo’s inability to read him as fast as he would anyone else and his willingness to bend the rules he had been taught should you ever need him to.
Lillith’s presence is blurry in his memories after so many years, but he would never be able to fully forget her; how could he ever do that? She fell in love and risked what she had and what she was to preserve it, although it ended in tragedy.
And still, he understood her.
Solomon’s and Luke’s voices reached him from the living room, bringing him back to reality. Besides his slow breathing and an unclosed faucet, the bathroom was otherwise silent. Droplets of water ran down his face like tears, but his eyes were dry and hardened by his thoughts. His reflection in the mirror seemed tired and he dreaded how his actual appearance might look. You would ask about it, no doubt, but what would he answer? He didn’t even know the full truth himself.
Glimpses of self-reflection and fragments of a realistic nightmare weren’t enough to dissipate your worries, so it’d be better for everyone if he kept hiding, at least for the moment.
Sweet actions and sweet words shielded by the honest love he felt for you.
The truth would come out eventually, but, until then, let the nightmares remain a mere fragment of his world-renowned imagination.
.
.
Taglist: @ilovecandys2010 @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom @books-and-catears
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 9 months ago
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Lucerys' funerals and Jace saying he'd ratehr die himself than lose another of his brothers and being heartbroken and you comforting/being there for him
Although Jacaerys looks really good in his new clothes, I'm not ready for this scene. It will most likely happen in episode 1. I tried to minimize the sadness, but be prepared for tears
Warnings: graphic details/mention of Lucerys' death,
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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Three days after Lucerys left to deliver a message on Storm’s End, dreadful news reached Rhaenyra: her son was dead. A raven from Lord Borros reported that a fisherman had discovered Lucerys’ head and neck washed up beneath the cliffs of Storm's End. 
First, her father and her stillborn daughter. Then, her crown. And now her teenage son, her sweet boy Lucerys. Rhaenyra had known loss in her life, but how much grief and pain could one person bear before they’re inconsolable?
The cause of Lucerys’ death was a mystery, but Daemon vowed to uncover the truth. Although he wasn’t his son by blood, he cared about the boy. The storm alone could not have decapitated him, no matter how fierce.
The young prince’s remains were brought to Dragonstone, but Rhaenyra needed more. Determined and heartbroken, she flew on Syrax’s back, searching for ten days for any remains of Lucerys — or Arrax. If the storm caused them to crash, there should be more evidence, right? Yet, the Queen found nothing.
During these ten days, Jacaerys returned from the North with promising news about the Vale and Winterfell. He entered the quiet castle with a smile on his face, impatient to tell his mother about her new allies, but it washed away when you told him about his little brother.
Jacaerys' stomach churned, refusing to believe the words. Lucerys couldn't be dead. He saw him a few days ago, they were sparring on the beach.
‘’No… That’s not true,’’ he denied, shaking his head. 
‘’They found parts of his body, I…I’m sorry, Jace. Luke is dead.’’ 
Jacaerys stood still for a moment, his face pale and expressionless as the reality of your words began to sink in. He was rarely ever struck, but losing a brother felt like a part of him was being ripped away. You watched as he brought a hand over his heart, filled with a deep, aching pain. His face contorted and his eyes welled up with tears. 
Seeing him break was rare, and it tore at your heart. 
He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back the tears, and looked at you, his eyes filled with despair. ‘’How did it happen?’’ he whispered, his voice barely audible.
The King’s passing had been a significant loss for the Seven Kingdoms, but Jacaerys was never close to his grandsire. He had seen him occasionally in King’s Landing and at the occasional dinner, but the King had been very ill. His death had been inevitable. 
Lucerys, however, was young and healthy, with his whole life ahead of him.
A tear slipped down Jacaerys’ face. He never thought he would have to live a life without his brother.
You shook your head, wishing you had answers. ‘’We don’t know. Daemon is looking for answers.’’
The day of the funeral, Dragonstone was silent, grieving the loss of the young prince. 
Your stomach was tied in a knot as you dressed yourself. A maid came to your door, asking if you wanted her help this morning, but you politely declined. Today was going to be emotional and you wanted to get ready in privacy.
When you finished clasping your necklace, you glanced at Jacaerys and noticed he was struggling. He couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking, making it impossible to fasten his brooch right. He made a noise of frustration and you walked over to him. 
‘’Let me help.’’ you said softly, securing the brooch to his cloak and doublet, and smoothing his collar.
He thanked you with the smallest smile, grateful to have you in his life — especially in dark times. He couldn’t have found a better person to call his wife. 
‘’Have you gotten the clothes from Luke’s chamber?’’ you asked.  
Jacaerys let out a heavy breath. ‘’Y-yeah. They’re over there, on the bed.’’ 
It was his idea to take some of Lucerys’ clothes to burn with what was found of his body. It looked less disturbing than a single head in the middle of the funeral pyre.  
‘’I knew there would be deaths during the war — it’s inevitable —, but I didn’t think Luke would be the first to go. I should have taught him how to navigate a dragon during a storm…’’
You cupped his face between your hands, making him look at you. ‘’Don’t go there,’’ you said firmly, holding his teary eyes. ‘’What happened was not your fault, Jace.’’ 
Jacaerys closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. ‘’I know,’’ he whispered, his voice breaking. ‘’A part of me cannot help but feel some guilt. Luke was always scared of flying, of not being able to control his dragon. And now— now he’s dead.’’ 
You pressed your forehead against his, holding back your own tears. You tried to think of something to say, but no words would alleviate the pain. 
‘’I would rather die than lose another of my brothers.’’
House of the dragon taglist: @khaleesihavilliard@domoron @ididliquorice @lover-of-helios@lover-of-helios @shine101 @tanyaherondale @mikariell95 @serrendiipty @lantsovheiress @gilliananderfuckme @shine101 @tetgod @clayzayden@memeorydotcom @tnu-ree @futuregws @blackravena @winxschester @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos @xxlaynaxx @secretsthathauntus @pilarxxxaguayo @emmavan39 @stargaryenx @erylilly @bbblackmamba @rainedrop97 @dreamer087 @gothicgay14 @ashlatano7567 @superkittywonderland @justaproudslytherpuff @evesolstice @buckysmainhxe @padfootsvixen @scarletmeii @evesolstice @dkathl @kaywsworld @tetgod @padfootsvixen @domoron   @weird-addiction @angeliod @xjennyx2 @adaydreamaway08  @mymultiveres  @secretsthathauntus  @puffycreamcakes @thirsty4nonlivingmen @naty-1001 @katiepie67 @moshpot24x @hc-geralt-23 @lovelynerdytraveler @saturn-sas  @zgzgh @sssjuico10 @tabloidteen @timetoten @deekaag @wondxrgurl @aerangi @strmborns @astridyoo15 @daemonslittlebitch @queenbeestuffs @severewobblerlightdragon @agentstarkid @msliz @vane1999-blog @fairyfolkloresposts @todaywasafairytale07 @otomaniac @zgzgzh @thebeardedmoon @golden-library @kikyrizuki @hnslchw @camy85 @winxschester @armstrongscommentsection @withfireandbl00d @randomstory56 @JudgmentDays-Girl
All and more taglist:  @kenqki@hawkegfs@gillybear17@black-rose-29@fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade   @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3   @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs  @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634  @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis  @katherinejess  @rafesgirlstuff   @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity  @Anouknani-2305 @books0fever @papichulo120627 @qardasngan @ghostlyvoidydragon @M0rgans1nterlud3
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softonshanks · 5 months ago
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Real man
Word count: 2100 Characters: Shanks x female reader Plot: Everybody always had the time of their life on the Red Force at night, but Y/N tonight seems sad, even if she usually dances all night. The crew is concerned about her behavior and Shanks tries to investigate: he finds out that she is heartbroken because her boyfriend left her. He tries to console her: one day the right man, a real man, will come and love her as she deserves. But what if he's that man?
Author’s note: Honestly? I’m in love with how this turned out, but I am mortified about the length. Words just kept flowing out of my fingers and I couldn’t stop. I hope you enjoy this as much I enjoyed writing it, even if it’s a bit sad. Also, there are references to a bit of age gap (imagine late twenties – early forties), I hope no one will be concerned or offended. Let me know if you like it and as always, english is not my first language, so I apologise if something is wrong. 
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The deck of the Red Force was alive with music, laughter, and the clink of tankards filled to the brim with rum. The crew swayed and stumbled in time to the music, their voices raised in raucous cheer. It was a scene Shanks had orchestrated countless times before—a night of celebration, letting loose under the stars, sailing with nothing but freedom on the horizon. But tonight felt different. Y/N sat apart from the crowd, her back against one of the ship’s sturdy masts, knees pulled up to her chest. Her gaze drifted over the crew as they danced and shouted, lost in their revelry, but her heart wasn’t in it. She clenched her tankard in both hands, staring into the dark liquid inside it as if it might hold some answers, something to make her feel better and fill the hollow ache inside her.
But it didn’t.
“Oi, Y/N!” Yasopp called from the center of the party, swaying slightly with a grin on his face. “Where are you hiding? You’re the true queen of parties!”
Shanks was beside him, his arm slung lazily over the sniper’s shoulder, his laughter booming across the deck. “She’s probably nursing that drink,” Shanks called out, his voice teasing. “Last time she got lucky, but deep down she knows she can’t outdrink me!”
“Still can’t accept that you are not the best drinker on the ship, eh Shanks?,” Benn teased him, as he took a long drag out of his cigarette.
That had been the game—Y/N and Shanks facing off in drinking contests, him always so sure that he’d win, and her always proving him wrong. Despite her small frame, she had a resilience, a fire inside her that burned bright enough to match his. But tonight, that fire was dim. Y/N forced a weak smile and raised her tankard half-heartedly in their direction, but she didn’t get up. Yasopp caught the look in her eyes, his grin fading slightly, and nudged Shanks in the ribs.
“Something’s off,” Yasopp muttered, lowering his voice. Shanks watched her more closely now: the tension in her shoulders, the way her gaze kept drifting out to the horizon instead of to the party. He’d noticed it earlier, how she had been quieter, distant, her usual sharp retorts and bright laughter absent from the night, but he thought it was just a moment, a sudden tiredness that had momentarily slowed down her tireless spirit.
He crossed the deck, his noisy flipflops on the wood, stopping just in front of her. She looked up, eyes glassy with unshed tears, and tried to smile again, but it faltered. 
“Mind if I join you?” Shanks asked, his voice softer now.
Y/N shrugged, scooting over to make room. He sat beside her, his larger frame casting a long shadow over her. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the noise of the party feeling oddly distant despite being just a few feet away. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You should be out there,” he said, nodding toward the party. “Dancing. Drinking. Outdrinking Yasopp and me of course, even though I’ll never admit it.”
Y/N managed a small smile but didn’t turn to face him. “Not tonight, Captain.”
Shanks frowned. He wasn’t used to this side of her. Y/N was always the one pulling others out of their funks, the one who lit up a room with a laugh that could make even the most serious men crack a smile. He hated seeing her like this—quiet, withdrawn, a far cry from the lively woman he had grown to care about far more than he should have. Shanks tipped his head back, looking at the stars, then glanced sideways at her. “So,” he began, keeping his tone light, “you planning on moping all night, or are you gonna tell me what’s got you looking like Benn stealing your last glass of rum that time?”
She let out a short, humorless laugh and shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing if it’s making you sit out a party,” Shanks said, nudging her with his shoulder. “Come on, spit it out.”
Y/N bit her lip, her fingers tightening around the tankard. For a moment, she hesitated, unsure if she wanted to let the words spill out. But Shanks was patient, his presence warm and steady beside her, and finally, she sighed, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Jim broke up with me,” she said quietly, her voice barely audible above the wind.
Shanks raised an eyebrow. “That idiot? I should’ve thrown him overboard the first time I saw him”. He tried to keep his usual calm tone, but his voice was hardening despite his attempt to stay calm.
Despite herself, Y/N let out a small laugh. “He was… charming. At first.”
“Charm doesn’t make up for being an asshole,” Shanks said bluntly. He paused, his tone shifting into something more serious. “Would you like to tell me what happened?”
Y/N hesitated, then sighed again, looking down at her hands. “He said I wasn’t enough for him. Said I was too… childish. That I didn’t know what it meant to be in a real relationship, not serious enough for true commitment. Said I wasn’t worth the trouble.”
Shanks’ face darkened, a rare flash of anger crossing his features. “He doesn’t know a thing about you. You’re better off without him.”
“That's perfect, 'cause he dumped me,” she said, her voice cracking just slightly at the end.
Shanks knew Y/N had been seeing this guy, a merchant, if he remembered correctly – in one of the port towns of the Island they were staying. Tall, good-looking in that clean-cut, boring sort of way. He had never liked him, though he hadn’t said anything to Y/N about it. He watched her leave the ship when they had free time, saying she was going to see him. For two months straight, he always greeted her with a smile, but his feeling were a different story. She’s young, he used to tell himself. She’s just like you when you were younger, she should be having fun. You are just her old captain. Let her be.
Now, knowing what had happened, he felt a surge of anger. He wished he had told her sooner that he knew that guy was no good for her. But the inability to tell if his instinct were right as usual, or if this time jealousy had won him over, forced him to stay silent. Shanks felt a hot burst of fury in his chest. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep it from showing, but it was there—sharp and sudden. 
“That idiot doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about,” Shanks said, his voice rougher than he intended. “He’s blind if he can’t see how lucky he was to be near someone who is joufyll like you. If he can’t handle you living your life on your own terms, then he’s not worth the salt in his veins”.
Y/N’s lip trembled, and she looked away quickly, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know, I just… it just feels like… like maybe there’s something wrong with me. My parents used to tell me too, you know” she said, making the alcohol in her glass dangerously move. “You’re too loud,” she tried to emulate the disappointed tone of her mother’s voice, after having chugged all she had in her glass. “You can’t take life seriously,” she repeated once again, feeling her mother’s stare on her. Y/N took the half empty bottle of rum Shanks had in his hands, pouring the dark liquor in her tankard once again.
Shanks felt a pang in his chest, seeing her like this. She was always the one laughing, teasing, strong in a way that made the world seem lighter just by being in it. Seeing her doubt herself—seeing her hurt like this—made him want to punch something, or better yet, find that merchant and make him regret ever crossing her path.
He wanted to maker her feel better again, so Shanks tried for levity, leaning back on his elbows with a sigh. “Sounds like you dodged a cannonball to me you know,” he said, his voice dipping into that easy, familiar drawl. “Can you imagine? Spending your life with a man like that? He’d probably make you wear fancy dresses and drink tea at noon. You'd be already asleep at this hour”.
Y/N let out a snort of laughter, despite herself, but it quickly turned into a quiet sob. She pressed her hands to her face, shoulders shaking, and Shanks’ heart twisted in his chest. He hated seeing her like this—so small, so vulnerable. He placed a hand on her shoulder, his touch light but firm. “Hey,” he said, his voice gentle now, the teasing gone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about it. You know me, I can’t take life seriously either,” tried to joke once more.
She shook her head, lowering her hands from her face, smiling to him through tears. “No, it’s not that, I’m fine”, she explained, watching the look of concern growing on Shank’s face. “Seriously, I’m fine. I knew it wasn’t going to last, I just…” she stayed silent for a second, trying to gather the right words. She tried to catch breath, trying not to hate herself more than she was already doing. First, the thing with that idiot, now this: crying in front of her Captain, looking so weak and so…so ugly, with her eyes red, the snot coming out of her nose, the puffy face. She started slowing down her breath, but this was just too much so she let another deep sob escape her.  
Shanks’ hand lingered on her shoulder for a moment longer, then slid down her arm until their fingers brushed. He hesitated, torn between the urge to comfort her and the gnawing uncertainty that had been eating at him for weeks—his feelings for her, the tension between them that he had tried to ignore. Shanks felt a knot tighten in his chest. Of course, that dumbass wasn’t worth it. The man was a fool for leaving her, for not seeing what Shanks had seen in her all along. But how could he say that? How could he tell her what was really on his mind?
He didn’t trust himself to speak, so instead, he took her by the arm, leading her away from the noise and the crowd, past the cabins and down the stairs toward a quiet corner of the ship where they wouldn’t be disturbed. She followed without protest, though her mind was racing. She had never seen Shanks so serious, so intent on something.
Y/N sat down the last step, Shanks let go of her arm and ran a hand through his red hair, exhaling sharply. He leaned against the wall, staring at the ground, his brow furrowed as if he was struggling with something inside of him. She was young and despite her fierce independence, there was a fragility to her that he didn’t want to break. He knew the kind of life he lived wasn’t fair to someone like Y/N—someone who chose this life, but indeed deserved stability, safety, a love that didn’t come with a price. 
He took a deep breath, his gaze searching hers. “Y/N,” he began, his voice rougher than he intended, “you deserve better than some fool who can’t see how amazing you are. You’re strong, you’re smart, and you’ve got a fire in you that no man should ever try to snuff out. You will hurt tonight, but tomorrow you will be fine, and it’s okay. But trust me, please, you don’t have to change for anyone,” the words come quick, like a cascade out of his mouth. 
Then, he placed his arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to him. His chin resting upon her head, her face buried in his chest. Y/N breathing slowed down, finding comfort and warmth in Shanks’ arm. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and vulnerable, and he felt something break inside him as she quietly whispered something that made him freeze. “I hope I will meet someone as kind as you”. She absent-mindedly let it slip, her brain incapable of being as sharp as it usually was. Between all the emotions she was feeling, all the sadness bottled up inside trying to come out, she wan’t as attentive as always. Shanks couldn’t keep this up—this careful distance he had been maintaining, this charade of just being her captain and friend. Not when she looked at him like that. But he had to. 
“Why does it hurt so much?,” she asked, loosening her grip.
“Because that’s what we do: we feel things,” he told her, feeling uncomfortable as she started slipping away.
“Tell me that it does get better,” she begged him, wiping a tear off her face, in the vain act of regaining some dignity. “Tell me that when you grow up you will feel like you know it, like you have it all figured it out”.
He feels a soft smile coming through his face. 
“No, it does’t”, he realveas passing his now-sadly-free-hand in his red hair. “It’s just a fucking mess, but trust me, it’s beautiful. It won’t be better, but it will be worth it”. 
Shanks starts to move slowly towards the door, about to go out, in desperate need of air or, even better, another drink. He needed to go away, before he’d say – or worst, he’d do – something stupid. Y/N stayed there, smiling and thinking about his answer. As soon as she notices his movements, watching him as he tries to leave, she feels a new wave of sadness hitting her.
“Come back?,” she asks with a wishper, hoping it will be loud enough for him to her her. He turns around, smiling at her softly once again. She signs him to come closer, but he reassures her. “I’ll be here in a few seconds, I am just going to grab something to drink for both of us, alright?,” he asks her, incapable of controlling the tenderness in his voice. She nods and sits on the ground, waiting for him. “Shanks,” she calls again as he takes a step back, once again. “Can you steal a cigarette from Benn for me?” asked, still her voice shaky. He let out a soft laugh, raising his thumbs at her.
Shanks stepped out of the cabin and closed the door softly behind him, taking a deep breath. The weight of the air felt lighter out here, away from Y/N’s sorrowful gaze, but the ache in his chest didn’t lessen. He ran a hand through his messy red hair, shaking off the vulnerability that had started creeping in while he comforted her. Who would have thought this was were this night was going: he thought that he could just get drunk and have with her and the crew what they usually do but no, that idiot had to break her heart and now there she is, crying and aching, while he tempts to console her, carefully trying to not let his feeling take the best of him.
"Alcohol. Need some alcohol," he muttered to himself as he came on the deck again, the clamor of voices suddenly filling the air.
“Oi, Captain!” Lucky Roux called out from where the crew had gathered. His cheerful face was now lined with concern, and the others around him were equally somber. “How’s Y/N doing? Is she alright?”
“Yeah, we saw you and her heading under the deck before,” Yasopp chimed in, leaning against the railing, arms crossed. “What’s going on with her? I told you something was off tonight”.
Shanks sighed, stopping in his tracks. He could feel the weight of his crew’s eyes on him. His men were like family, and they cared about Y/N just as much as he did. Keeping things from them wasn’t really an option. Still, this wasn’t something he wanted to dive into.
“She’s... well, it’s about that boy she’s been seeing,” Shanks said reluctantly, scratching the back of his neck. “Broke things off. Hurt her pretty bad.” The crew’s reactions were immediate. Yasopp let out a low whistle, “That bastard,” Roux cursed under his breath.
They were all pissed, Y/N wasn’t just someone on the ship, she was like their little sister, and her pain was their pain. It had been a year now since she joined their crew. Since that moment, they all felt like the fun and laughter, the alcohol and the joy, had doubled – she worked some trick on them, making them feel as if they were all back in their late twenties. 
Roux clenched his fists. “We should teach him a lesson. No one messes with our crew, especially not Y/N.” Shanks held up a hand, his tone even but firm. “No need for that. It’s over. And she needs time, not more trouble,” explained, as Y/N’s heartbreak had become the crew’s problem now, too.
As the others turned to leave, Benn Beckman approached, leaning casually against the doorway, a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. His eyes were sharp, more knowing than most.
"Shanks," Benn called softly, making sure no one else could overhear. 
“Oh you were just the one I was looking for, I need a cig,” Benn raised his eyebrow confused, as Shankes added also his matches in his request. 
“It’s for her,” he explained. Benn gave him what he needed, shaking his head with a soft smile, thinking about the first time Y/N confessed him she didn’t smoke, she was just endlessly smoking her last cigarette.
Shanks and Benn had been friends for so long that words weren’t always necessary—but when they were spoken, they were always heavy. He stopped and met Benn's gaze. "What are you going to do about it?"
Shanks knew exactly what Benn was asking. He wasn’t talking about getting Y/N this cigarette or offering her some comfort. He was asking about the truth Shanks had kept buried for so long. The truth about how he felt about her. 
Shanks' smile faltered for a moment, a rare crack in his usually carefree demeanor. He shifted his weight, feeling the familiar flutter in his chest whenever he thought about Y/N as something more than just a crewmate. He rubbed his thumb along the rim of his glass, his tone softer now. “Nothing she needs right now,” he replied, looking off into the distance as if that might provide some clarity. “She’s hurt, Benn. She doesn’t need more complications”. Benn’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t press further. He understood Shanks better than anyone, even when the red-haired captain didn’t fully understand himself.
Shanks sighed, feeling the weight of Benn’s words but knowing there wasn’t an easy answer. “She’s hurting now,” he continued, “The only thing I care is to make her feel alright as soon as I can”.
“And what about you?” Benn asked, his voice a low murmur, almost swallowed by the sound of the waves against the ship. “When will you be alright?”
Shanks didn’t respond immediately, his gaze lingering on the closed cabin door where Y/N waited for him. “She’ll be alright,” he repeated, turing away to head back to Y/N with a bottle of rum in hand, the truth hung heavy in the air between them, unspoken but undeniable. Benn watched him go, the cigarette still burning between his fingers, his eyes knowing and weary. He knew Shanks could lie to the crew, and maybe even to Y/N. But lying to himself? That was another battle entirely.
She’ll be alright and it will be worth it, Shanks repeated himself, softly smiling. When he returned, Y/N looked up at him with those same tear-streaked eyes. And for a brief moment, as he sat down next to her and handed her the cig, he wished that for just once, he could tell her everything. But he couldn’t. Not yet. Not when she was already broken. So instead, he smiled, taking a long swig from the bottle, and mentally vowed to stay by her side. Even if it meant keeping his feelings locked away, just a little while longer.
She lit the cigarette taking a long drag, Shanks watching her with a bit of amusement.
“Remember that I’m letting you smoke under the deck just because this is an emergency,” he tried to lighten the mood once again, while taking another sip. She nodded, puffing out the smoke, “so, when are the rest of the guys going to kick Jim’s ass?,” she casually asked. Shanks turned to her, “I heard what they were saying on the deck, they’re not exactly quiet you know,” she explained, “Remind me to say thanks to Roux for wanting to step up for me and defend my honor,” she laughed, while grabbing the bottle and pouring her some.
“You’re smiling a bit,” Shanks noted relieved. “Are you feeling a bit better?” Y/N nodded. 
“Knew that drinking would have helped you,” he joked.
“Maybe it’s the drink,” she repeated. “Or the cigarette,” she took another drag while Shanks drank a bit more. “Or the fact that whenever I am around you, I can help but laugh,” she added smiling once again, Shanks’ heart skipping a bit for what she had just said. 
“Thank you, I will never thank you enough for this,” she turned to face him, moving towards him, resting – with no warning – her head on his shoulder. 
“I’m sorry I kinda ruined the party’s mood tonight,” she continued, finding comfort once again in the cigarette. 
“Well, you can’t always be the life of the party, can you?,” Shanks joked, incapable of stopping himself to enjoy the closeness they were sharing. Before she could speak once again he signed her to be quiet, “I want that to be very clear: you haven’t ruined anything. You felt hurt, it happens. I hope you know that it’s not your fault”, she nodded.
“I truly mean it, Y/N. He was not worth your time or your energy. I think you have shed more tears for him than he deserved. I don’t want to see you cry again,” he said, caressing her puffy cheek with his thumb, “unless if it’s about Benn stealing you last drink again”, he tried to make her smile again. The feeling of her soft skin under his calloused fingers reminded him once again the truth he was trying to avoid: she was a fragile thing, he need to be careful with her.
“You will find a true man who will take care of you,” he added while he stood up to set some distance between them. 
“Can you hug me again before you go?”. Shanks froze, her words hanging in the air. He hadn’t planned on leaving just yet, but her request for another hug—it was the way she said it, the vulnerability in her voice—it almost unraveled him. Turning back to her, he hesitated only for a moment before sitting back down, opening his arm. She nestled into his chest, her small frame fitting perfectly against him. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, and for a moment, everything else fell away.
“I ruined your shirt,” she said noticed the stain she caused with her cries.
“Are you feeling better now?” he asked, looking her in those big eyes, still a bit red for the emotional turmoil of the night. She nodded.
“Then it’s fine,” he answered nodding his head in disbelief, as if he could care about a damn shirt. 
“Was it worth it?”, she asked suddenly, her tone quiet yet meaningful. Shanks froze for a moment, taken aback. She had repeated his own words from earlier, the ones he had spoken to try and reassure her. Shanks felt his breath hitch slightly. He gently pulled away, giving her a bit of space, though he kept her hand close, his fingers barely brushing against hers, reluctant to lose contact. The look on her soft face was sending his mind into shambles, and suddenly, the air between them felt impossibly thick, each breath heavy with everything left unsaid. His lips parted as if to say something, but the words seemed to falter on the tip of her tongue. Shanks’ heart pounded in his chest, louder than anything else, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her—how her eyes still held that same vulnerability, but there was something else now. Something more. 
“You are always worth it,” he said finally, his voice low and steady. She blinked up at him, her expression softening as she leaned in just a little closer. “I’m glad,” she whispered, her gaze flickering to his lips for the briefest of moments. It was enough for him to notice, to feel that pull again—the one that told him he was dangerously close to crossing a line. But it didn’t feel dangerous anymore. It felt right. Tell her. Don’t tell her, let her rest, you will grow over it. Tell her, it will be worth it.
“I—” Shanks swallowed hard, standing up while feeling his throat tighten. “I’ve wanted to say this for a while now, but I wasn’t sure if I should. You’re younger than me, and I know… I know I’m not what people would call a “good man”. But I—”
Before he could finish, she stood up as well, almost facing him. “Shanks,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Don’t”. He froze, his breath catching in his throat, his heart pounding so loud he was sure she could hear it. He knew it: he shouldn’t have let his emotions get the best of him. He should have at least waited until all of this was months behind her. But then she leaned in, closing the distance between them, her lips brushing against his in a kiss that was soft, but filled with a quiet kind of desperation. He didn’t move at first, too stunned by the feel of her against him, until something inside him snapped and he kissed her back, his hand sliding into her soft hair as he pulled her closer. It wasn’t a kiss of passion—it was something gentler, more intimate, the beginning of something that had been waiting for a long time to surface. When they finally pulled apart, both of them breathless, Shanks rested his forehead against hers, his heart still racing in his chest.
“I’ll show you,” the words urged to come out of his body, he needed to get this out of his chest. “I’ll show you how you what a real man does when he’s lucky enough to be with a woman like you. Tell me you’ll let me and I will do it”. Please let me.
Y/N smiled, her eyes bright with something that looked like hope, and she kissed him again, a soft peck on the lips, while her hand rested on the side of his face. Their foreheads remained pressed together, breaths mingling as they stood in the quiet intimacy of the moment. Y/N’s fingers lightly traced the side of his face, her touch gentle and reverent, like she was afraid to break the delicate spell between them. Her smile wavered slightly, not from doubt but from the overwhelming emotion of it all—the love she had kept hidden for so long, now finally set free.
"Shanks," she whispered, her voice so soft it was almost lost in the small space between them. "I don't need you to show me anything I haven’t seen already". Shanks closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words settle in his chest. When he opened them again, he looked at her with all the certainty he had in the world. His thumb brushed across her cheek.
“I know this wasn’t the best timing” he whispered back, his voice low and rough with emotion. “But I had to take it off my chest, Y/N”.
Her hand lingered against his skin, her heart thudding in her chest as she searched his face for any sign of hesitation—but there was none. There was only love, plain and simple. It was so clear now, as if it had always been there, waiting for them to recognize it. She caressed his scar, making him shiver due to her gentle touch. He wasn’t used to this. 
For a long moment, neither of them moved, the air between them thick with everything unspoken. And then, in a quiet voice that seemed to crack with vulnerability, Y/N whispered, “I don’t want you to think that I am doing this out of sadness. I’ve always thought this. You. Us – something more than the strong bond we shared before, but I felt so dumb and inappropriate, how was I supposed to—”
Shanks tilted her chin up gently, his gaze unwavering as he leaned in closer, their lips just a breath apart. “It doesn’t matter now,” he murmured. He kissed her again, once again with a slow tenderness that made her melt into him, her body soft against his. His hand slid up to the back of her neck, his fingers gripping slightly as if he was holding on for dear life, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear. But she didn’t, she held him close, her hand still on his cheek, pulling him tighter against her. When they finally broke apart again, Shanks leaned back just enough to look into her eyes, his own filled with an intensity that made Y/N’s breath hitch in her throat. “I meant what I said,” he told her, his voice low but steady. “I want to take care of you. Not because you need it—but because I’ve waited so long before finding someone to love you like you should be loved,” he softly spoke, feeling finally lighter. The weight he was carrieng from six months until now was driving him mad but now, since they kissed, he felt as if he’d been on land for too long and he just saw the ocean again.
“I know we don’t have an easy life, but I told you, I will give you all the love I have in me. But I need you to know if you’re 100% sure about this,” he explained.
“I am,” she smiled. “I know I’ll never find someone who’ll beat my drinking skills,” she joked, her wide wide smile found again, “but I need someone who can keep up, or at least tries to,” concluded with a small laugh. Shanks laughed with her, the thing that made him happy the most is that he finally recognised her Y/N, the sadness seemed to have passed, just like a storm. 
“I will beat your ass tomorrow night, you know that”, he said, hugging her once more.
“I look forward to”.
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gldnstrngs · 1 month ago
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thoughts post merlin season finale rewatch for the anniversary:
(let me preface that ive never cried to the finale despite me watching it twice and rewatching arthurs death scene several times— i definitely got emotional but never cried)
1.) …so i cried… from the beginning of the episode… i just hated how gwen never got a proper goodbye from arthur and was aiding all of his men, wondering where he was and if he was okay😭 and then later on, when leon tells her that arthurs missing and she turns around and silently cries, but quickly recovers… that was SO heartbreaking. she just keeps going and cries to herself like she deserved so so so much better and i hate that she never got closure
2.) i know that merlin has really truly become emrys but im not sure if it was necessary for dragoon to be his Final Form. i didnt watch the first part so maybe i missed the importance of that, but i feel like the scene would’ve been so much better if merlin looked like himself and casted all those badass spells and everyone would see him
3.) WHEN ARTHUR WAKES UP TO MERLIN AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS “merlin, where have you been?” IM NOT OKAY??? it wasnt “merlin, what are you doing here?” or “merlin, how did you get here?” it was merlin, where have you been? that whole time arthur was in battle all😭he😭wanted😭was😭merlin😭
and then the magic reveal. the goddamn magic reveal. that entire scene is so heartbreaking. tell me why i was so distraught when ive seen that scene more times than i can count. and he doesnt just say “i have magic, i used it to protect you” NO. he says i use it for you, only for you. THAT IS A CONFESSION. it’s such a subtle shift of words but it says SO MUCH.
arthur immediately being in denial kills me. it was never a thought in his head that merlin would actually have magic because he associated it with evilness and cruelty. but then he finds out that merlin has always had magic and the way his eyes become so sad… the way his finger brushed his merlins chin right before realizing the truth… im so…
4.) i couldnt stop crying when the scene cut to gwen in the castle, staring out the window and feeling that arthur is alive. her eyes are so sad. i just can’t get over the fact that she never had the goodbye she deserved
5.) as much as i hate the way arthur reacted to merlin having magic, i do understand. he was literally just in battle, was mortally wounded, and found out that the only person he thought he could trust had been lying to him from the moment they met. i dont believe arthur actually thought merlin was dangerous— he’s prone being angry before being sad as a defense mechanism and that was only fueled by finding out that gaius was also lying to him. at that point, it must’ve felt like every person he’d ever known and trusted only ever lied to him. its so tragic I CANT.
BUT ALSO on the other side of that i actually cannot handle how utterly heartbroken merlin looks. his red rimmed eyes because he was crying all night😭 thinking that arthur would hate him forever…
5.) this entire scene bro…
“why did you never tell me?”
“…i wanted to, but…”
“…what?”
“you would’ve chopped my head off.”
“…not sure what i would’ve done.”
“and i didn’t want to put you in that position.”
“…that’s what worried you?”
“some men are born to… plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others… to be great kings. me… i was born to serve you, arthur. and i’m proud of that. and i wouldn’t change a thing.”
UMMMM SO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS. i have rewatched this scene so. many. times. it is genuinely one of the most beautiful scenes ever written in cinema call me dramatic but im just speaking facts
arthur’s face when he realized that merlin really did care for him. the way he instantly lights up, despite being in pain. and his eyes… theyre glued to merlin. the whole time, he couldn’t look at him directly, but now he was. he was just scanning his face, memorizing all of merlin’s features AND MERLIN IS JUST STARING AT ARTHURS LIPS
also. ALSO. how have i seen this so many times and never. NEVER. caught onto the fact that gwen and arthur’s theme (which is originally titled the love theme) WAS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. there was no mention of gwen at all in that scene. that was all merlin and arthur. this just confirms to me that this is the moment arthur fully realized and accepted that he was in love with merlin
6.) gwen deserved to know that merlin was a sorcerer FROM MERLIN. they were best friends. THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS!!! HE SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONE TO TELL HER!!! they deserved a scene where merlin comes back from avalon and he and gwen hug and cry.
7.) gwaine and percival should NOT have gone after morgana. i understand their rage but there was no way they were going to defeat her unless they had excalibur or something…
and gwaines death was so unnecessary. that was clearly for shock factor and i hated it. but i did get emotional when percy was able to free himself because he heard gwaine was being tortured… and then hes there when gwaine dies… their foreheads touching… (im not ok)
8.) it breaks my heart that morgana felt no guilt or remorse when she saw arthur, wounded and on the verge of dying. you can so clearly see that arthur feels that way when he sees morgana die, but there’s nothing on her end. i know it’s meant to show how far gone she is but it genuinely doesn’t feel right. i really do think she would’ve experienced some sort of internal conflict when seeing her own brother dying… like maybe she realized that none of this was worth it. it didnt feel as good as she thought it would
and when she’s stabbed by merlin😭 and he says he blames himself for what she’s become. people don’t recognize it enough how merlin feels so much guilt for the way he treated morgana. i just know he didn’t want to kill her, but he had no choice and he knew it was his fault…
9.) is there a reason why merlin didnt call for kilgharrah. i know kilgharrah said in the previous episode that he would finally be lying to rest for eternity, but i feel like this was an especially dire situation where he was needed😭 AND MERLIN SUMMONS HIM LATER ON!!!
or what about aithusa??? LIKE THEY DID NOT HAVE TO BE ON HORSES THE WHOLE TIME
(if anyone can explain the reasoning then lmk otherwise it was just a plot hole and that pisses me off bruh)
10.) arthur’s death did not need to happen, yet it was one of the best death scenes i’ve ever scene. it was just so raw and painful. “just… just hold me…” WHAT IF I DIE??!?!,,!!, he thanks merlin, he pats his head, he brushes his cheek, he tries to hold his hand like im fjwjdjsjjswhshshsj
also originally i was not fully convinced by the theory that the breath arthur took before saying “thank you” was “i love you.” i didnt want to be delusional but i actually do think he did say that he loves merlin. AND THAT CAN BE INTERPRETED AS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC!!! i def see it as romantic but yes… im so Normal…
11.) “i’ve failed?” just. don’t talk to me.
12.) when merlin stands by the boat arthur is laid to rest in, trying to hold back his tears only to sob as he touches his forehead. the way he tries to gather himself. the way he struggles to say arthurs name and cast the spell. the way he watches arthur drift off, shaking. just. pls.
13.) gwen my baby girl. i cannot emphasize this enough. you deserved so much better. my heart broke when she played with arthurs royal seal and then when i saw the empty throne beside her. she had no time to prepare for this. she just lost the love of her life.
14.) it cuts to leon and then percival. and then i realize theyre the only two left in the round table. they both look so distraught. they lost everyone they ever loved.
15.) gaius :( he was waiting for merlin with his favorite meal :(
16.) bro the truck always jumpscares me omfg why is it so loud😭😭😭 then i get sad because merlin is old and walking alone and its the present and he’s still waiting for arthur :(
they should’ve had the show end with arthur saying “merlin” instead of kilgharrah saying it. that’s literally all we needed. it would’ve been so perfect but here we are…
final thoughts:
i love that this episode wasnt just the battle and action. the focus of it was merlin and arthur, navigating their feelings from the magic reveal and arthurs mortal wound. its so painful and heartbreaking but that just symbolizes the love they have for each other. this entire episode was filled with their gentle moments, softly speaking and touching each other. then arthur dies in merlin’s arms but i dont think he’d want to be anywhere else
also!!! colin and bradley’s acting in this episode… it was absolutely PHENOMENAL. they are already such great actors, but they really nailed it in the series finale. i can’t get over how they speak with their eyes the whole time. you can the love, fear, and acceptance they experienced throughout the whole episode. it was just so beautiful and i think that was what rlly made this ep
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msriri030 · 8 days ago
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God!Solivan x God!Reader
simple, short oneshot
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The God of Life. Among the divine, some whispered that you held the highest honor—to craft wonders, to breathe existence into the birds that danced in the sky and the fish that glided through the seas. You were the architect of beginnings, the harbinger of beauty and growth.
But to you, it was an endless, wearisome dance—an intricate cycle of creation and destruction, a fragile symphony where every crescendo eventually fell silent. For all your power, you were helpless to halt the inevitable.
For a god of life, attachments were a cruel luxury. To grow too fond of anything was to invite despair, for everything you nurtured and cherished would, in time, fall into the hands of Solivan, your eternal counterpart—the God of Death.
Solivan, with his quiet resolve and shadowed presence, was the immutable balance to your existence. His touch was inevitable, inescapable, as much a part of the cycle as your own. Where your hands gave breath, his hands took it. Where you painted the world in vibrant hues, he cloaked it in the stillness of the void.
And so, you tried not to linger too long over your creations, no matter how perfect they seemed. You reminded yourself that they were fleeting, that every heartbeat you granted carried the promise of an eventual silence. Yet, in the quiet moments between creation and release, when the first cries of a newborn echoed or the petals of a flower unfurled in the morning light, you felt the faint ache of rebellion stir within you.
"Why must it always end?" you asked Solivan, your voice heavy with sorrow as the two of you walked through the cobbled streets of a town in its twilight. The fading light bathed the crumbling structures in a soft, golden glow, a cruel contrast to the reality of their inevitable demise.
Solivan paused, his dark, enigmatic gaze sweeping over the quiet scene before settling on you. His expression, as always, was unreadable, his voice steady as he replied, "Because that is the only way it can truly begin."
"It isn’t fair," you said, your voice breaking. "Not just for me…but for you too, Sol." You stopped and turned to him, your hands trembling as tears brimmed in your eyes. “You deserve to enjoy… living.” Your gaze, both angry and heartbroken, bore into his, demanding something—anything—that could make sense of the endless ache.
Solivan blinked, momentarily caught off guard. For eons, he had been content to simply exist by your side, a silent shadow to your radiance. To him, nothing else mattered. You were his light in an otherwise gray and barren eternity, the one who filled his existence with beauty, breathing life into the void he governed.
Your presence painted his charcoal world in hues he could never have imagined—a world he could only experience through you. Every laugh, every fleeting joy you shared, etched itself into the fabric of his being.
He wanted to tell you that. To explain how you had shaped him, how you had given meaning to his otherwise cold and mechanical purpose. But the words felt clumsy and inadequate for what he felt. So instead, he did what he knew best—he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek gently.
“I do not need the kind of life you speak of,” he murmured, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “You are enough. You are all the life I will ever need.”
For a fleeting moment, the ache in your chest softened, replaced by the warmth in his voice and the tenderness of his touch. But even as you leaned into the comfort he offered, a quiet sadness lingered. Deep down, you knew that Solivan, the unyielding God of Death, deserved more than the endless cycle of endings. He deserved to live.
“Then promise me this…” you whispered, your hands rising to cup his, your fingertips grazing the coolness of his palm. You nuzzled against it, your touch gentle yet resolute. Looking into his fiery red-orange eyes, now softened by the golden glow of the town’s fading light, you searched for reassurance. “If… if at the end of all ends, when everything has faded away, I want nothing more than for you to find me and be by my side once more.”
For a moment, Solivan was silent, his gaze studying you intently. Then, a rare smile spread across his lips—soft, genuine, and laced with a quiet reverence. “Hmm… only if you will promise to be my soulmate, (Y/N),” he murmured, his voice low and rich with emotion. Slowly, he lowered his head, resting his forehead gently against yours, the closeness anchoring both of you in the moment.
Your breath caught, and a blush rose to your cheeks, the warmth spreading across your face. Sol chuckled softly, the sound deep and melodic, resonating in the quiet space between you.
“I think…” you began, your voice trembling but filled with sincerity, “I think I would love that, Sol.”
And for a moment, as the world around you faded into the backdrop, time itself seemed to pause. In that shared vow, a fragile yet unbreakable bond was forged—a promise that no cycle, no end, could ever sever.
“Excuse me?” Solivan turned away from the classroom window, his crimson-orange eyes locking onto yours with quiet curiosity. The light streaming through the glass framed his sharp features, softening them just enough to take your breath away. For a moment, the world seemed to still as he took in the sight of you standing there, clutching your artbook tightly to your chest.
You swallowed hard, mustering the courage to speak despite the slight flutter in your chest. “Do you have a partner?” Your voice was steady, but your heart raced with every passing second.
Solivan blinked, caught off guard by the directness of your question. His expression didn’t waver, but a faint flicker of intrigue danced in his fiery eyes. He replied simply, his tone calm and measured, as though the question hadn’t unsettled him in the slightest. “No,”
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vidavalor · 5 months ago
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No Nightingales
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What I think Crowley thinks he's saying here is that he's been using their coded language-- speaking in Nightingales-- for basically this whole scene and Aziraphale isn't hearing what he's saying and he really, really, really needs to hear it in Crowley's mind because Crowley thinks the (really non-existent) threat of The Book of Life is looming. He thinks if Aziraphale goes with The Metatron that Aziraphale will be erased into a state of non-existence and Crowley's proposal is actually a plan to stop that from happening.
Crowley, by the "no nightingales" portion of the scene, is desperate, and his last play is to, in his mind, directly refer to their secret language using what is obviously coded language by saying nightingales directly and just hope that The Metatron takes it as some sort of in-joke and not a coded message.
He asks if Aziraphale can "hear that" when no sound exists and points up as a way of making the point that Aziraphale isn't hearing the wordplay in what he's been saying. He is actually referencing two types of birds at once-- the nightingales of their hidden language and the crows from their first, fumbling attempts at forming what would become their nightingale speak back in Job's courtyard and from which Crowley took his name.
He's referring to this:
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He's trying to directly reference the moment that he let Aziraphale hear the crows bleating like goats and Aziraphale realized the true meaning of what Crowley had just said the moment before. He's trying to say that something like that needs to happen again, even if the end result of this scene is, ultimately, that it does not.
Crowley is trying to get Aziraphale to rewind mentally for a moment to everything that Crowley has said previously in this scene and, instead of taking it on a surface level, run it through the filter of it being wordplay in his mind so that he'll understand what Crowley was trying to say.
Seems like a smart move, right? How could there be more confusion if the word being referenced is the word they use to refer to the language in the first place?
What Crowley doesn't take into account is the fact that he's saying this while being about to walk out while they're both upset and that, because nightingales is the secret language shorthand word? It *also* means-- to both of them-- their love for one another.
So, what Aziraphale sees and hears here is not baby, please listen and realize that you didn't hear the real words I've been saying...
What Aziraphale sees and hears here is:
You don't love me. You and your Heaven bullshit-- there were never any nightingales. This was never love. It wasn't real. It's over.
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And Aziraphale?
It would have been less painful if Crowley had physically ripped Aziraphale's heart straight out of his chest.
He's heartbroken and he's furious and every emotion along that spectrum because-- funny story-- Crowley hasn't heard a bloody word in nightingale speak that Aziraphale has been saying in this scene, either.
A series of unfortunate events fucked this conversation from the start because the beginnings of it involved things that made them both assume that the other wasn't using the language at all.
They each thought the other didn't see Coffee Dude watching them as a threat and started to try to convince one another there was trouble and what they each thought that trouble was and what their plans were to overcome it. They have been only taking one another's words on the surface level and so they don't really understand what one another has been saying.
So, Aziraphale hears "no nightingales" and he's thinking of all the human art into which he's put the word for their language and their love because, to them, that is the same thing... the centuries of mythology and stories and poems and the part of Romeo & Juliet about the secret nights spent together and their damn song... and how dare Crowley say this isn't love?
They've spent millennia loving each other with their secret birdsong language and now, to Aziraphale, Crowley's wielding the one word that means to them just that as the weapon to end them. How dare he use that of all words to say that this love isn't real and that whatever it was is done when it means thousands of years of singing that love to one another?
You could torture Aziraphale for a millennia and he would find it less painful than what he thinks Crowley just said.
So, ya know... when Aziraphale thinks what is happening is that Crowley just went from "marry me" to "you don't love me and it's over" in about four minutes flat with a waking nightmare of misunderstandings in between and is now about to leave him just when Aziraphale needs him most...
....maybe the reason why Aziraphale is taken aback by the kiss is not because it's the first but because he's just got emotional whiplash and this is an unexpected last kiss that is coming seconds after, in Aziraphale's mind, Crowley having just accused Aziraphale of not loving him.
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void-of-unparalled-chaos · 9 months ago
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The Double-edged Blade of Chance
Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate. It was just a fact of life. There was always a chance, but chance was a double-edged blade. 
Jason quite literally runs into his soulmate at the young age of eight.
“Sorry! I thought you were a ghost!”
"Why would I be a ghost?”
  
@deadonmayn Day 5: Soulmates | Pretend | Jason and Danny were childhood friends | "I never thought I'd see you again."
TW: Major Character Death, Child Neglect, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Depression
AO3 link
   Not everyone gets to meet their soulmate. It was just a fact of life. There was always a chance, though. Maybe it was small, but it was a chance. For those born with black ink scrawled across their wrists, it was a hope. A perfect match who could understand you on every level straight down to your atoms was waiting, and maybe you would meet them today! Or tomorrow. Or a year from now. Or… never.
   Sometimes, life is cruel. Sometimes, black letters burn and scar. Sometimes, your soulmate dies before you can ever meet them. Words on your wrist were a chance, but chance was a double-edged blade. 
   On average, most people didn't meet their soulmates until their twenties or thirties. Jason Todd was not most people.
   Jason quite literally runs into his soulmate at the young age of eight. Lungs burning and legs shaking with adrenaline, he sprints with his singular pilfered apple. He's not being chased, but it's better to create distance between him and the scene of his crime. If the past six months as a street kid has taught him anything, it's that caution is a virtue. Caution keeps you alive. 
   He falls back into muscle memory, allowing his feet to carry him through familiar shortcuts. Jason rounds another corner into a dirty back alley only to ram into something face first. There's a startled yelp and before he knows it Jason is horizontal. The only thing separating him from the ground is a scrawny torso. Jason's about to throw himself away from the poor schmuck when there's a burst of pain in his back. He rolls and lands on the asphalt with a pained groan.
  The other kid scrambles away from him with panicked, pale blue eyes. He looks the same age as Jason, skinny like a twig with a loose-fitting NASA shirt and unruly black hair. If Jason had seen him walking down the street, he would never have guessed he knew how to throw a punch. 
   The kid scans him up and down, suddenly embarrassed, “Sorry! I thought you were a ghost!”
   Jason is so busy nursing his kidney that he doesn't register the significance of the words. Instead, he snaps back with incredulity, “Why would I be a ghost?”
   The kid stares at Jason with wide eyes. His mouth opens and closes, gaping like a fish out of water. Whatever. Let him have his crisis, it's not Jason's problem. He dusts off his apple and stands to leave.
   "Wait!" 
   Jason yanks his sleeve back out of the other kid's grip, "Don't touch me!"
   "Sorry…" he shrinks back and the expression on his face is so heartbroken that Jason almost feels bad, "Please don't go!"
   Jason ignores him. He has things to do and places to be. Winter will be coming soon, and his abandoned apartment has very little in terms of blankets or jackets. A cold street kid is a dead street kid. 
   “Just-” the kid cuts in front of him. Jason stops short. Twig kid rolls up his sleeve, holding his wrist so close to Jason’s face that he couldn’t look away if he tried, “Look!”
   Jason freezes. His eyes scan over the words once, twice, and then a third time. 
   Why would I be a ghost?
   Jason can feel the scowl evaporate from his face, replaced by a softness he doesn’t know what to do with. Gently, ever so gently, he brushes over the words with his thumb. He doesn’t need to look at his own wrist to verify. Now that his head isn’t so far up his ass, the words the other boy uttered finally click and he knows that this is his soulmate.
   “My name is Danny!”
    Jason lifts his eyes to meet his soulmate’s. Danny’s grin is brighter than the sun itself. Something unfurls when he sees that smile. His lips tick upwards.
   “I’m Jason.”
   And so begins a beautiful friendship.
   Danny’s parents were… interesting to say the least. Jason had never met them himself, but he sure heard about them a lot. The two were self-proclaimed ghost hunters, and Mrs. Fenton was a trained martial artist. They had taught Danny from a young age to defend himself and instilled a fear of ghosts while they were at it, hence Jason being floored with a kidney punch.
   Other than that, the Fentons were hands-off. They didn’t pay much attention to Danny or his older sister, Jazz, so the two were mostly left to their own devices. Jazz couldn’t entertain Danny all the time, so he had taken to slipping out of the apartment to explore. 
   Jason may have been young, but even so, he had an inkling that the Fenton parents could have been doing a better job… well… parenting. Then again, it wasn't as if Jason had room to talk. Willis’ form of parenting had been more fists than words, painting out the rules of the house with black and blue bruises. Catherine had been good to Jason, even living under the smog of Willis Todd’s anger. She had taught Jason to cook (recipes he still knew by heart) and would read to him late into the night, fingers skimming old pages (Jason still carried the old, battered copy of The Little Prince with him, one of the few belongings he grabbed before fleeing CPS). Even under the drug-induced haze, his mom had tried her best. When she became too ill to do much of anything, Jason paid it forward as best he could. 
   There were some benefits to all of this. With the Fentons paying so little attention to anything outside of work, Danny could sneak supplies to Jason no problem! Suddenly issues like food or clean water were no longer as pressing, and Jason had a lot more free time. Naturally, he spent it with Danny. Jason taught Danny how to slip in and out of Gotham’s shadows unnoticed, and Danny taught Jason all of the things he learned in school. Danny would tell Jason stories written in the stars such as Orpheus’ lyre and Orion the hunter. In return, Jason would read his battered copy of The Little Prince to him under the trees in the park.
   Like all good things, it had to come to an end. 
   It happens a little over a year after their fateful meeting. Danny arrives at their spot dragging his feet, eyes watery. Jason abandons his book on the grass beside him in favor of rushing to meet his soulmate, who all but collapses sniffling into his arms. They sit in the shade of their tree, Jason running his hands through Danny’s hair as he cries into his dirty shirt.
   “What happened?” Jason asks once the other boy has calmed some.
   “We’re moving.”
   “What?”
   “Mom and Dad want to move someplace in Illinois. Something about ectoplasm readings. They said we’re moving out by the end of the month!”
    It feels like the ground drops from underneath Jason, nothing but a yawning chasm beneath his feet. Moving? To Illinois?
   The tears return to Danny’s eyes with a vengeance, “I don’t want to move! I don’t want to leave you!”
   Jason sets his jaw, tugging Danny back into a hug. He swallows the lump in his throat with false bravado. “It’ll be okay, Danny. You wanna know why?”
  Danny makes an inquisitive noise, wiping his face on his shirt as Jason pulls away. 
   Jason reaches for Danny’s hand, turning his palm up to the sky. He stretches his arm out next to Danny's, their soul marks brushing next to each other. 
  “We’re soulmates, Danny. The universe decided that we are two halves of a whole. Fate decreed that we are meant to be together,” Jason poured the conviction into his words, “We’re soulmates, and soulmates are magic. Even if you leave for weeks, months, or years, I know we will find each other again. We’ll be together someday.”
   Danny gawked at him, wide eyes a pantomime of when they first met. He stared at Jason, and then- 
   “You read too many books, Jason.”
   Jason rolled his eyes good-naturedly, shoving Danny into the grass. Danny giggled as Jason fell beside him with a huff. They stared up at the branches of the trees. The leaves swayed in the breeze. Jason follows them in captivating circles, his soulmate a soothing presence beside him.
   “You really mean it though?” Danny asks.
   “Mean what?”
   “That we’ll be together again?”
   “Of course,” Jason easily confirms.
   It’s the most sure Jason has been of anything in his life. 
   With Danny gone, there is no steady supply of food or blankets. Jason quickly finds himself reacquainted with hunger and desperation. After the third consecutive night of dumpster diving with no reward, he decides something has to change. Armed with a tire iron, Jason makes money the only way he can. 
   Six months after Danny leaves, Jason steals the tires from the batmobile. Batman found this more amusing than aggravating, and the next thing Jason knows, he’s stepping into the role of Robin. Jason! As Robin! Who would have thought?
   The new gig comes with some super awesome advanced tech. With all his work for Bruce, Jason figures it's only fair that he gets free reign with the batcomputer, or as Jason likes to call it, his best chance at finding Danny. 
   The batcomputer is one of the most advanced pieces of technology in the world. It's hooked up to satellites, has access to almost every database, and can run ID checks in seconds. Theoretically, there should be nothing stopping Jason from finding Danny. And yet…
    It's like he’s disappeared.
   All evidence of the Fenton family only dates to before their move. It doesn’t make any sense! There should be paper trails or social media posts or something! Anything! Jason searches for weeks but it’s as if Danny stopped existing as soon as he moved.
   Jason doesn’t give up. There has to be something he’s missing, one little thread poking out of the seams. A single tug is all it takes. He just has to find it. He keeps looking.
   He keeps looking for years. 
   He hangs on to hope.
   Jason is fourteen when his hope shatters.
   The night starts off normal. Jason dons the Robin suit and joins Bruce on patrol. They run through Gotham, stopping an arms deal and tying up a few muggers. Jason stops to take a breath, looking out over his city. 
   Jason loves this. He yearns for the whip of the wind in his face as he swings between gargoyles and fire escapes. He likes to help people, to defend others from the scumbags that think they rule the streets. Jason loves being Robin. Danny being here with him is the only thing that could make it better. That’s why Jason stays up high near the stars. It makes him feel closer to Danny, wherever he is.
   Burning pain makes Jason stumble in his steps. He clutches his wrist with gasping breath, wondering what he’s been hit with and when. Quickly, he removes his glove, throwing it to the floor.
   His stomach fills with icy cool dread.
   “No…” Jason mutters, eyes wide as saucers as the black ink on his wrist begins to fade, “No no no no no-”
   He digs his fingers hard into the words as if that will stop the color from leaching away.
   “No! Don’t do this! Please, Danny, don’t-” his voice cracks with a sob as the black becomes a pale grey, “NO!  You're stronger than this, you jerk! Don’t give up! Fight!”
   Bruce lands on the roof with him. He says something, but Jason isn’t paying attention. 
   “Don’t… don’t leave me, Danny. Don��t leave me alone.”
   Jason would normally never cry in front of Bruce, but he doesn’t care about Bruce right now.
   “You can’t leave yet! I’m supposed to find you! Do you hear me, you asshole?! You're not allowed to leave!” 
    The words are nothing but pale scars. It’s over. It’s done. The burning fades to a numb nothingness. Jason throws his head into his forearm and screams.
   Nothing will ever be the same.
   Bruce takes Jason home. He refuses to speak, not even to Alfred when the butler greets him with the offering of a hug. Jason walks right past his open arms to the bathroom and takes off his suit. Jason doesn’t feel like Robin right now. Jason doesn’t feel like anything.
   He showers just to be done with it, unfeeling of the ice-cold spray. Like a preprogrammed machine he runs through his routine.  Water. Shampoo. Soap. Rinse. Dry. Jason heads straight to his room when he’s done, not even bothering to brush his teeth. Burying himself under his bed covers, he cries until he passes out from exhaustion.
   It doesn’t get any easier. 
   Jason pushes the misery down and gets through the next day one step at a time. Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months. He goes to school, forcing himself to pay attention rather than sink into tempting numbness. Danny would have been so excited that Jason was in school. Danny would have wanted him to learn. 
   He comes home to Wayne Manor feeling, ironically, like a ghost. Alfred’s food tastes like chalk. Dick’s endeavors at movie nights and days out are about as tempting as swimming in the polluted harbor. He still joins Bruce as Robin, but he leaves the batcave feeling angry, hitting harder than he’s ever hit before. As if that will change anything. As if that will bring Danny back. 
   Sometimes, Jason draws over the scarred words on his wrist with a black marker. He pretends that Danny is still out there somewhere in bumfuck Illinois, waiting for him. It helps.
__________________
   Danny Fenton was unlucky. The very first sign was his workaholic parents with their conditional attention and lack of safety precautions, leading to his eventual early demise (Also known as sign one hundred and twenty-six, not that Danny was counting). Then there was the whole Oh Shit I’m a Ghost revelation quickly followed by the Oh Shit My Parents Want to End Me realization. Danny could only assume that he pissed off some ancient deity in a past life. 
   So yes, Danny was extremely unlucky, but he did have one thing going for him: Jason. 
   How many people got to meet their soulmate so early in life? Perhaps all of his luck had been invested in Jason. Jason with his vibrant blue eyes and dirty hair. Jason with the soft voice he used for Danny alone. Jason with his stubborn hold on childlike wonder despite being faced with the worst Gotham had to offer. 
   Danny may be unlucky, but Jason made him feel like the luckiest guy on Earth.
   He thought about Jason frequently. Idly tracing the words spread across his wrist, Danny would let his mind drift. Sometimes, he relived old memories. Other times he dreamed of their future together. 
    He imagined moving out of his parent's house and into one of his own. Jason would move in with him, warm and safe for once in his life. He’d be free to focus on learning like he so obviously wanted. Danny would go to work and Jason would go to school, but they would always come back together at the end of the day. Jason would pull out a book and Danny would curl against his side. Jason would get that adorable scowl on his face when something happened he didn’t like, and Danny would kiss it off of him with so much sweetness that Jason would forget what had annoyed him in the first place. 
   The honeyed kisses were a new addition to the fantasy, but not an unwelcome one. 
   Danny also thought about the present. He wondered what Jason was doing now. Was he still holed up in that awful abandoned apartment? Did he have warm enough clothes for the upcoming winter? Did he find enough food to last him the week? Did Jason feel Danny die? He must have been so scared…
   Moving away from Jason was the worst thing to ever happen to Danny, including the portal accident. Four states away, there wasn’t much he could do to help his soulmate, and he had no way to contact him, no way to check on him. His parents barely left the lab let alone the house, so a family trip to Gotham was out of the question. He had thought about flying there himself after the whole dying and becoming a halfa thing, but between the ghosts coming through the portal and his parents, he couldn’t leave Amity Park unprotected. 
   Danny thought he had a solution to the issue when he met Clockwork. While they may have started off on the wrong foot, these days the two were on better terms. Danny would even go so far as to call him a friend. Perhaps Clockwork would be willing to help a guy out and pause time for a bit. Only for a few hours! Just enough time for Danny to return to Gotham, find Jason, and establish some form of contact. Surely that wasn’t too tall of an order!
   Evidently, it was. Even after bargaining, pestering, and begging for what felt like hours (it could have been days or it could have been minutes, time was weird in Clockwork’s lair), Clockwork still refused. 
   Danny tried Nocturn next. It was more out of desperation than anything. His relationship with the ancient was still rocky, and he wasn’t expecting much to come from it. To his surprise, Nocturn agreed to help him but only once. Just one dream. Just one chance. 
   Danny is so excited he has trouble falling asleep. Eventually, he gives up and knocks back some melatonin. He’s willing to see the ceiling children if it means he also gets to see Jason. Danny closes his eyes.
   When he opens them, he is standing in a library. It’s fancy, fancier than Gotham’s library. The shelves are decorative polished wood and filled with books in better condition than any Danny has seen in one before. One wall is bare of any books or shelves. A stone fireplace with glass doors resides against it, exuding a comforting heat that makes Danny’s eyes droop even while asleep. The couches and chairs near the pit are so plush and pristine that Danny is certain this is a private library. No way would any public seating be this clean.
   It's all very nice, but not nearly as nice as the sight of the teenager residing on the furniture. The round baby fat that had shaped his face had begun to make way for a chiseled jaw. He's put on weight, no longer as gaunt as Danny remembers with more muscle. The skinny, starving kid Danny had known is no more.
   He's older now, almost unrecognizable, but that furrow in his brow as he reads and the slightly crooked nose gives him away. This is Jason. Danny's Jason. 
   "Jay!"
   Jason startles, dropping his book. He scrambles to his feet, tense as he stares uncomprehendingly at Danny. It hurts to not be recognized, but Danny understands. He looks different too.
   "...Danny?" 
   Danny can't find the words to respond so he settles for a smile, opening his arms in invitation. 
   Jason catapults into them. They clutch onto one another. The embrace is familiar but different, arms lankier than they used to be. Jason shakes like he’s crying. Danny thinks he might be too.
   Jason finally pulls away, hands running over Danny’s shoulders and arms,  "This… this isn't real. I'm dreaming."
   Danny laughs, "Well that depends on your definition of real. It may be a dream, but I'm still here."
   Jason’s hands raise to cup Danny’s face, "You died.”
   "Yeah,” Danny can’t help but lean into Jason’s palms, fingers rising to brush over his soulmate’s.
   "I don't care if it isn't real, I-" Jason swallowed. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Danny’s, "Can we just… pretend it is?"
   "Of course, Jay."
   Jason plants a kiss on his forehead and drags him over to the couch. They collapse onto the cushions, Jason’s chest breaking Danny’s fall and strong arms wrapping around him.
   "I missed you," Danny says into his shirt.
   "Not as much as I missed you."
   "You look better. You look like you've been taking care of yourself."
   "Sometimes."
   "Only sometimes?"
   Jason laughs.
   For the next hour or so, Jason tells him about his life as Batman’s sidekick, Robin. Life in Wayne Manor has been beneficial for him. His smile is fuller and more carefree as he talks about his latest patrol than it ever was when he was living in the apartment. He seems happy in a way that Danny rarely saw.
   "I'm so proud of you, Jay."
   Jason doesn't say anything in reply, but he doesn't have to. His wet eyes are response enough. He's quiet for so long that Danny's convinced he's broken him. 
   Then Jason leans in, slowly, oh so slowly. Danny's heart flutters. He closes his eyes, tilting his head forward. He prepares himself to feel the press of lips against his own and then-
    His alarm goes off. 
    Danny's eyes fly open, surveying his room in frustration. He never got Jason's number. Fuck.
   There’s nothing to be done except to continue on with life. Between school and ghost fights Danny still finds time to pester Clockwork. It’s the same song and dance each time but Danny is nothing if not persistent. Occasionally, his attempts are rewarded with glimpses into his soulmate's life. Just little everyday things like Jason doing his homework or cooking with an older man in a suit. This of course led to Danny pushing for more, something like an actual conversation or contact information, all of which Clockwork refused to provide. It didn’t stop Danny from asking. 
   If Clockwork truly wanted Danny to stop then he shouldn’t have rewarded his behavior in the first place.
   It's not long after Nocturn’s favor that Danny finally wears the old cog down.
   “Come on, Clockwork! Please?” Danny whines, tugging on the ancient’s cloak, “I just want to talk to my soulmate!”
   Clockwork ignored him, peering through another screen.
    “It’s not like we haven’t already met! How could there possibly be any harm in us talking?”
   Clockwork stopped, considering. This had never happened before! Danny waited with bated breath.
   “I’ll let you see him-”
   Danny cheered, happily doing loop-de-loops in the air. 
   “I wasn’t finished,”
   Danny stopped cheering.
   “I’ll let you see him, but you can’t interfere.”
   “Interfere? Interfere with what?”
   Clockwork frowned, “Some things are destined to be. If I take you to him, you can’t stop what is about to happen. For better or worse. Are you sure this is what you want?”
   Danny stilled, considering. This didn’t sound like he was going to talk to Jason. It seemed like this would be a mere passive observance. It wasn't much different from watching Jason through Clockworks’s portals. Whatever. Danny would take what he could get.
   “I’m sure.” Anything to see Jason again.
   “I foresaw as such.”
   Danny barely has time (heh time) to register the sad look Clockwork shoots his way before he’s portaled out of the ghost’s lair. One blink he is staring at the gears and cogs in the walls, then next he is standing in a warehouse. Alone.
   “Clockwork?”
   There’s no response, so Danny investigates. It's hot. Hot enough that Danny feels like he is sweating despite his intangibility. The warehouse is filled with boxes upon boxes. As he wanders further in, he begins to hear signs of life. He peers between the crates.
   A few musclemen are unloading more crates to the floor. Someone out of sight sounds like they’re laughing. No not laughing. Full-blown manic cackling. That’s a villain's laugh if Danny has ever heard one.
   He peaks around the corner to get a better view and nearly reels back. That’s a clown. A fully dressed clown. Green hair, white face paint, and all.
   Danny hates clowns.
   “What? What’s going on here?”
   Jason!
   Danny looks over his shoulder in the direction of the footsteps.
   “Just step over here and you’ll understand everything, Robin.”
   A blonde woman rounds the corner, Robin, Jason, following close behind. They walk past Danny and right into the clown. 
   “What?!” Jason leaps between the woman and the gun lime-flavored Mr.Mime is aiming squarely at her chest, “But you said…”
   “I lied.” 
   The woman is aiming a gun at Jason’s head. Danny growls, but it goes unheard.
  “I can’t afford to have you stirring up trouble. I’ve been dipping into the medical funds myself. If you blow the whistle on the Joker, the investigation will certainly uncover my embezzling. Sorry about that, kid. Looks like you picked the wrong person to trust. ”
   “Clockwork,” Danny asks the open air, “what is this?”
   Jason is surrounded but his eyes are solely focused on the woman. He looks devastated.
   “What should we do with him?” the woman asks the clown. 
   “Something I’ve wanted to do for years,” The clown lets out another one of those awful cackles. 
   Danny doesn’t think it would be possible to hate this guy more than he already does, but then he pistol whips his soulmate across the chest hard enough that he hits the ground.
   Jason gets up again. He’s always been tenacious, Danny thinks as he watches him punch the clown in the gut. He feels a glimmer of satisfaction. Jason will be okay. He’s giving the newest additions to Danny’s shitlist a solid beat down, and Danny gets a front-row seat.
   But then one of the gym bros knocks Jason to the floor again. He follows it up with a kick to the ribs. Jason lies there heaving, and suddenly Danny isn’t so certain anymore.
   The clown approaches him, dragging a crowbar against the concrete with a harsh scraping sound.
   “This is going to hurt you a lot more than it does me.”
   Danny tries to rush forward. He wants to tear that crowbar out of the clown’s hand and hit him so hard that he loses his teeth. He wants to grab Jason by the collar of that stupid outfit and fly him far away to safety. Danny wants to, but he can’t. His feet are rooted to the ground. His arms refuse to lift from his sides. His head won’t swivel on his neck. Danny can’t even switch off his invisibility. All he can do is blink as the crowbar careens into Jason’s ribs.
   “You can’t interfere, Daniel.”
   “Clockwork,” Danny grits out, quiet and desperate, “Clockwork, please.”
   He feels a hand squeeze his shoulder, “All is as it should be.”
   No no no no no no no no no no no no no-
   Danny isn’t sure how long he’s there, frozen uselessly in place as the maniac clown brings the crowbar down on Jason’s body over and over and over again. Eventually, he seems to get bored and decides to leave Jason to the mercy of a bomb. With a grand flourish to the ever-so-helpful timer, he leaves Jason bleeding on the floor. That woman is there too, but Danny doesn’t care about her. 
   Finally, Danny can move. He collapses next to Jason, cradling his beaten face in his hands and murmuring nonsensical platitudes. Jason’s breath wheezes shallowly, unseeing gaze fixed far away. 
   The clock ticks down. 
   Jason doesn’t make it to six minutes. 
   Danny chokes back a sob as the words on his wrist burn. With utmost care, he brushes Jason’s eyelids shut. Danny presses a kiss to his forehead. It still feels warm against his own ice-cold lips. Taking Jason’s limp hand in his own he leans back. He waits. He hopes. 
   He doesn’t have to wait long. 
   Danny almost thinks that Jason’s- no, the body’s eyes have opened once more. The color gives him pause though. Vivid green eyes like his own blink open in place of blue. A pale, wispy figure sits up, legs remaining within the corpse as if superimposed. The domino mask that had covered his face has been replaced by what looks like permanent grease paint. The Robin uniform is a mess even in death. The holes and tears have carried over, but thankfully it's no longer bloodstained. Jason’s wounds are all but gone except for a single glowing ectoplasmic scar running from his hairline down to his cheek.
   The newly formed ghost’s chest heaves in a mimicry of desperate breathing. Danny remembers it from when he first died. He had also panicked at the lack of oxygen in his lungs. It's hard to break such an ingrained instinct. 
   Danny feels his soul mark tingle, and though he doesn't look away from his soulmate he can see the green glow of the words in the corner of his eye. 
   “Jason?” Danny drops the corpse’s hand in favor of reaching for Jason’s.
   Jason’s eyes whip around wildly, landing on Danny. His chest slows to a stop, “Danny?”
   “Yeah, Jay,” Danny lets out a broken laugh, tears pooling in his eyes, “It’s me.”
   “Danny!” Jason lunges for him wrapping his arms around his waist, “I never thought I’d see you again,” he choked out, voice watery with emotion.
  Danny clutches him back, gloved fingers curling into the fabric of his cape, “I wish it were under better circumstances. I’m sorry, Jason,” Danny sniffs, tears soaking into the fabric of Jason’s shoulder, “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
   “It’s okay! Well, not really,” They pull back to look at each other. Jason tucks a strand of hair behind Danny’s ear, fingers lingering to trace his jaw, “but I get to see your pretty face again so I can’t complain.”
   Danny flushes green but still manages to level Jason with a look, “That’s stupid and you know it! You have every right to complain you just-” 
   Danny cuts himself off with a small, distressed noise. Danny has died before. He knows what it’s like. And now Jason has too. They both know. There are no words.
   “Yeah…” Jason trails off, eyes lingering on his body, “Yeah. But you're here, right? You found me!"
   Danny smiles, cupping his soulmate's face in both hands, “Always,” he presses a chaste kiss to Jason’s lips. Even after it ends their foreheads remain touching. 
   “I missed you,” the grin Jason gives him could only be described as dopey.
   “Not as much as I missed you,” he teases back.
   Jason pulls him into another hug. They hold one another until their tears finally dry up. It reminds Danny of the good old days, running rampant through Gotham’s streets and finding solace from everything awful in each other. 
  Suddenly Jason starts to giggle. Danny doesn’t know why but his joy is contagious and soon Danny is snickering alongside him.
   “Why are you laughing?” Danny asks between unneeded breaths.
   Jason slips his tattered glove off, displaying his soulmark with a wiry grin, “I just realized I’m a ghost!” Jason giggles again, “And so are you!”
    “Why would I be a ghost?” Danny deadpans, which only causes Jason to laugh harder.
   Danny glances at the clock. One minute. “We should leave.”
   Jason nods, standing up before Danny can even move and offering his hand. Danny takes it, rising to his feet. Their fingers remain linked together as they phase through the wall of the warehouse. They turn to watch it blow with a sense of finality. The flames licking the sky feel like an end, but also a new beginning. 
   Danny turns away from the ruins and focuses. His fingers sharpen and tear through the fabric of reality, opening a swirling green portal into the Infinite Realms. 
   He holds the portal open with one hand, extending the other back out for Jason to take, “Together?”
   “Together,” Jason’s fingers clasp his own.
   This time, they don’t have to pretend. 
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flurry-of-stars · 9 months ago
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𝓐𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷-𝓕𝔂𝓸𝓭𝓸𝓻
𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: Mentions of death, cheating and murder 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1k (𝓐/𝓝: I was in the middle of working on a fic when Army Dreamers came on my Spotify and suckerpunched me with this little idea. It's more a ramble than anything sdjkfns)
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Fyodor, who takes the body of the person who kills him. Who is cursed and blessed with immortality. Fyodor, who can come back over and over again. No matter what, he always returns to your side, looking just as he always did when he left you. Sometimes he comes back with a new outfit.
Other times, he comes back stained in blood, but he always comes back. And you always welcome him back with a kiss and a tight hug.
You never question him. You're just happy to have him in your arms again.
Fyodor, who, knowing about his immortality, would always deny you children. He knew how badly you wanted to start a family but he couldn’t bring new life into this world knowing he would have to sit back and watch his children die before his eyes.
Fyodor, who was heartbroken when you finally died during your first incarnation to old age. He remembers how even on the days leading up to your death, you would always comment on how you withered like a dying flower, while he stayed young and lively. You even teased him for his secrets of youth, asking playfully if he had sold his soul to the devil for his youthful look as you rasped and coughed. But to him, you never were a withering flower. You were always his beautiful garden of Eden, more vibrant and lively than you ever knew.
Fyodor who finds your second incarnation. Who courts you all over again. Who killed again and again but still returns to your side. Who never stopped loving you, even though you look nothing like your first incarnation but he knows its you by the way your eyes sparkle when you smile and the way you laugh.
He could never forget that sweet smile. It haunts his every dream. The one who takes you ballroom dancing. Who buys you the exact dress you want without ever pointing it out to him. Who styles your hair just how he knows you like it without any guidance. Who’s even more heartbroken when you pass in your late twenties to illness. You hadn’t even repeated your pleas to have children yet and he already lost you again. Fyodor who buried you with his own hands this time and stayed in the rain crying over your grave. Fyodor who seeks your third incarnation but finds you a little too late. You’ve already settled down with another man. You’re talking about starting a family, moving to the countryside to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Fyodor who can’t let you go. Who flirts with you, swoons you off your feet and drives you to cheating on your husband. Who watches as your husband comes through the door of your beautifully decorated apartment one night and shoots you both dead when he catches you both in the act.
Fyodor who takes over his body next, fleeing the scene before the police arrive.
Fyodor, who after seeking you out time and time again, incarnation to incarnation, shattering a piece of his heart and soul over and over again, decides he can’t suffer like this anymore.
He, an immortal being, was never suppose to find love. He will be here until the end of time, while you’re destined to keep dying over and over again.  He can’t keep doing this to himself. You are his addiction, his drug and today, he’s deciding to cut off the supply. But he loves you too much to stay away from you for long. He writes you poems and books, letters that are never delivered that scream his love in it’s rawest form and leaves them hidden at your previous incarnation's favorite places, hoping and praying to God that you somehow find them. Fyodor who watches your one hundred and seventy-sixth incarnation from afar as you go about your daily life. Sees your struggles and your pains. He wants nothing more than to reach out to you, to embrace you and assure you everything is going to be okay.
But he doesn’t. Even as his heart screams at him to go and chase you. Even as he almost brings himself to tears watching you struggle. He can’t do it again. It’s too much. Too, too much… Fyodor, who several months after finding your latest incarnation, is making preparations to head to Yokohama to find the Book to rewrite his fate so he can finally be with you.
Immortality be damned. He wants to settle down with you. He wants to love you freely. To finally start a family with you and when the time comes, he wants to die alongside you. He can't do this anymore. He can't stand to watch you die over and over again and yet he can't let you go. You've woven yourself too tightly into the chords of his heart. Fyodor, who receives a knock at his apartment door in Saint Petersburg as he's finalizing his plans. Who tugs on his ushanka and cloak, murmuring a quiet “One moment please.”
Fyodor who opens the door to see your current incarnation standing there. Who freezes in place, cold eyes going wide in surprise as his hollow heart skips a beat, just as it did when he met your very first incarnation all those generations ago.
You, with a kind, warm smile on your face, one of Fyodor’s poems in one hand and a jar of small flowers in the other. The same ones he had left at your very first grave just yesterday with that same small cluster of primroses in a jar. Fyodor who feels his heart falling for you all over again as you praise his beautiful, heartfelt writing and expresses how grateful you are to the person who directed you to his apartment after you asked around about the name left on the poem.
Fyodor, who can't resist inviting you in for tea.
Fyodor who knows he can’t stop loving you. Who knows no matter how many times you die, he will always seek you out. You are, after all, his weakness. His eternal lover. His addiction. 
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Dividers: @/saradika 𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 (first time trying this so I hope it works! (๏д๏) ) @tecchoussuperlady @hearts4heidi @lovestruckbook @wixxlemuff @twinkaesop @ladylntrovert @yonseibananamilk @honeyangelsblog
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kedsandtubesocks · 1 year ago
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you, my golden hour
Rancher!Javier Peña x Cowgirl!Reader
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summary: 1997. as a fallen rodeo star, you can handle anything - except maybe your city’s hometown hero
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, Post Season 3 Javi works on his family’s ranch AU, unspecified age gap (only age mention is reader can drink and Javi is older), major pining & yearning, emotional hurt & comfort, light angst with tender fluff, reader has a backstory and family, no physical description of reader but gendered language is used and reader can ride a horse, use of pet/nicknames, mention/description of rodeo accident, themes of dealing with burnout, small texas town toxicity, light Spanish use, reader & javi having insecurities they bond/heal over, bar scene with alcohol consumption, spicy moments with allusions to smut, intense makeout where Javi gets handsy, soft!Javi, dreamy & protective!Javi
word count: 10.2k (I’m sorry)
a/n: the second installment of ‘let’s rodeo’ and my love letter to Javi & Texas, the heart of this series - this fic is near & dear to me and I just appreciate getting the chance to write this, so to @lowlights @ahauntedcowboy & @perotovar for giving me the courage to post this know I’m so grateful… and to you reading this thank you, so dearly appreciate you too ♡
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You haven’t thought of Javier Peña in years.
Older than you, he was handsome and had a smile that rivaled the Texas Friday night lights. He eventually hooked up with the number one town sweetheart who was even rumored to have won a local state beauty contest.
By the time you heard of their engagement, you already had started your plans for the circuits, for the road. You didn’t mourn or even feel heartbroken over the news.
Even after that, the rodeo consumed you. It kept you in a tornado like whirl for years until that fateful day it spat you out.
When that ride stopped, Javier Peña came back into your mind with a strange fog-like entrance.
While still on bed rest, the news on the TV had been showing a small special on the War on Drugs and the lull of it filled the room.
Your grandmother was the one who brought him up.
“That’s what Chucho’s son is involved in.”
“Wait, Javier Peña’s into drugs?” You asked a bit confused even without the pain killers.
“No. He’s going after the people who sell drugs.” She clarified.
Oh.
“He also didn’t get married either. Do you remember?” She had added.
You did. You heard he left the little Miss Homecoming Queen at the altar. Quite a scandal that made him the talk of the town for a while.
Then he became a big shot drug enforcer who took down one of the largest drug cartels in history and he again became the talk of the town.
It’s been a few years since your accident and now Javier Peña is back home.
Now driving into the Peña ranch you feel both so young, yet so aged at the same time, like you’re stuck between two realities.
Your sister bounces out of the truck with uncontainable glee and you’re grateful she’s excited.
Chucho Peña comes to greet everyone. His classic cream cowboy hat and gentle smile are all a beautiful welcome. It’s also adorable seeing your grandpa reunite with his old friend.
Señor Peña’s kind eyes eventually land on you with a sweet twinkle.
“It’s good to see you, mija.”
You’ve always adored Chucho Peña.
His son on the other hand…
You never knew Javier enough to fully know him. Even with his dad and your grandpa being pals, the years between you and Javier didn’t help. He existed outside your orbit, a figure almost out of reach.
“And that son of yours!?” Your grandpa of course perks up asking about him.
“Ah sí Javi’s here, just out in the stables.” Chucho explains casually.
The last time you physically saw Javier Peña he was walking out of the bank. You’d been waiting in your family truck when he stepped out. By that point, a small bit of shadow was forming against his jaw and upper lip as his facial hair began to grow thick. He was a young man on the verge of stepping into the threshold of being grown.
Now before you he’s a fully grown man.
For a minute you think the man in the barn is someone else because it doesn’t seem like Javier.
Yet when he turns, you see his eyes.
Rich soil of the earth stunning eyes and you know it’s him.
His body has filled out and his shoulders even look broader. He sports a similar mustache like his father’s and it adds to his older appearance. There’s a weathered weariness on his face evident in the wrinkles carved out by his eyes and on his forehead.
The button up shirt he’s wearing allows a peek at his chest and his skin shines with sweat from the Texas sun already shining its warmth.
He’s breathtakingly stunning and you can’t take your eyes off him.
He warmly greets your grandpa with a wide smile that touches his eyes and brightens his face. He’s still that charming young man you saw, a brilliant comet out of your galaxy.
But then his gaze lands on you and his eyes narrow. A conflicting recognition and confusion swirl in his eyes. He knows you, seems to remember you, but not fully.
His dad clarifies your name and you deflate a bit. Then Javier’s eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot into his hairline.
So, he does remember you.
“Oh, yeah. Good to see you.” He nods fully realizing who you are.
“Guess the horse must be for you then?” Javier adds and your heart sinks a bit.
A grimace tugs on your face but you try recovering quickly.
“No mijo,” Chucho thankfully answers quick and gentle. “I told you, it’s for her hermanita.”
You grin small and tight in agreement.
“Oh…yeah of course.” He nods.
Your little sister immediately jumps in bright and eager to share her excitement. Thankfully the focus effortlessly shifts to her and the reason why you’re all here.
The horse is beautiful, playful and eager for attention. This first meeting already feels good. Of course, everyone holds their breaths when your sister goes for the ride.
And it couldn’t have gone more smoothly.
You even exhale relieved.
“You seemed nervous.” A smooth warm voice comes out besides you.
As you lean against the ring’s fence you discover Javier Peña moving to rest beside you.
“Just like the first day of school kinda nerves. Want to make sure everything goes smoothly.” You answer as your sister effortlessly trots around the ring with ease.
“Yeah, I bet. They already seem to be clicking.” Javier notes genuine and you’re grateful too.
Your grandfather now calls out to you.
Both you and Javier turn towards where the older men stand close to each other like conspiring headaches.
“To celebrate, we’re having dinner here!” Your grandpa cheers happily and a dread drop kicks your heart.
Immediately you stammer out panicked about how you all can’t impose.
“No pasa nada, mija.” Senor Peña gently reassures you saying not to worry. “Besides, you’re all more than welcome here. It’s been a while since Javi and I had guests.”
You don’t miss the unashamed hum Javier makes.
“And grandma?” You reply, trying to reach for more excuses not to stay.
“She can walk.” Your sister teases suddenly and you give her a sharp look.
“Will you go pick her up, please?” Your grandpa gives you his best pleading face before simply throwing the truck keys to you
Stubborn old man.
“Hijo,” Señor Peña calls out again, but this time to his son. “You should go too.”
Shit.
“No Pop, it’s okay!” Javi politely declines and you want to second that.
“Aye,” His dad chides and then he pointedly gives Javier a look that screams - Don’t be rude, go with her.
Damn.
The walk to the truck is quiet, awkward as hell, feels like two parents shoving their kids together to play nice.
Heading into the main part of town, silence fills most of the drive. You're also mentally kicking yourself for not getting the radio fixed last week like you should’ve.
“So uh, your grandma…still volunteering at the women’s shelter?” Until Javier offers a small branch of conversation.
“Yup.” You nod.
“Oh good, that’s good.” He replies.
But silence returns.
“So, you taking a break from the rodeo then? Pop used to tell me about you all the time.” Javier comments light, casual.
You feel like a cat with its hairs standing up. But even with that sensation, knowing Señor Peña spoke so fondly of you does simmer the sting.
“Sort of.” You decide to rip this off like a bandaid, get it over with now. “Had a bad accident a while back. Still haven’t decided if I wanna return.”
It’s been two years since you’ve been home.
“Oh…” Javier’s voice drops, the same way everyone does when you tell them.
“I’m sorry.” Except you’re surprise at how sincerely soft his voice is. “I thought I heard something about it. I should’ve fucking remembered… Sorry.”
He apologizes again, surprising you once more as genuine repentance floats off his voice.
You thank him understandingly. After all, it's one of the better responses you’ve been given. But you don’t want to dig into this, especially with him, so you quickly change the conversation.
“So how long are you here for? I’m sure there must be other drug cartels waiting for you to take them down.” You offer casual.
Not only had he taken down Pablo Escobar a while back, you briefly heard of his very recent grand move against the other cartel in Columbia.
He’s impressive, the town’s hero and golden boy.
“Uh actually, I’m retired. Gonna take a step back for a bit.” Javier answers just as polite and calm as you had answered him.
Oh. You hadn’t heard that. Or maybe you did and forgot.
You now feel like the foolish one and genuinely congratulate him.
“It takes a lot to decide when to step away. Besides, you deserve a break after all you did.” You mean those words.
After all, they were the same comforting words his father told you when you came back home.
A pause fills the truck and you worry you’ve maybe overstepped.
“I…yeah.” Javier breathes out. “Thanks. Appreciate that.”
Your heart flutters at how small and genuine he sounds.
“So…how about them Dallas Cowboys, huh?” Javier offers light and for some reason you laugh.
It’s not much, but it feels like a lifeline.
When you arrive to pick up your grandmother she gasps so giddy when she sees the surprise guest with you. Her excitement lights up the drive while she talks about her day taking full advantage of having Javier listening to her.
“Oh I’m so glad you’re back home safe Javi!” She gushes and then says your name.
You’re already panicking.
“With so many of your friends living out of town, maybe you’ll get to spend more time back in the city with Javier!?” She offers to you brightly and absolute horror seizes your heart.
Shooting a petrified face at her you silently plead for this discussion to die.
Javier in the back seat weakly laughs. Because of course Javier, ever the gentleman, had your grams sitting up front.
“Oh don’t give me that look.” Your grandma playfully teases back at you. “At least go rent a movie with him.”
The thought crosses your mind about turning around and dropping her back off.
“Did you know,” Javier innocently jumps in. “The first ever blockbuster was opened in Dallas?”
Your grandma coos in awe as if he’s just explained a miracle.
“See! Now you have to go with him to one!” She urges.
A horrified indignant noise escapes you. While behind you, Javier snickers even more and you’re tempted to drop him off on the side of the road to let the coyotes feast on him.
The minute you arrive at the Peña’s home you can’t get out of the truck fast enough.
Dinner fortunately goes smooth and you’re surprised at how eased the rest of the time unfolds. You do hate how many times your eyes flicker towards Javier like if you’re still trying to soak him in.
Then, from across the table, Javier’s gaze flickers to you fast catching you staring red handed. Your heart transforms into a jackrabbit, petrified and thumping fast, almost making you flee right then and there.
Until your grandpa addresses you. His warm eyes dance with a surprise in his gaze.
“We’ve decided to have some of your sister's training here.”
Your heart now skips over itself.
Your gramps and sister both explain the plan hatched while you were on the road. In order to get used to competing in different spaces, your sister decided to train here at the Peña’s.
You’re hesitant, but understand the logic. You’re even impressed. But you can’t pinpoint why you’re so nervous about this.
Señor Peña now calls to you, sensing your hesitation, and tenderly grins.
“Don’t worry mija,” his kind eyes crinkle with understanding. “It’s no trouble at all.”
His reassurance is grace and you smile back relieved while thanking him deeply.
“Seems like you’re the boss here.” Javier suddenly joins in with a casual tone and you freeze.
“Well yeah, that’s my coach you’re talking to.” Your sister proudly declares.
“Coach?” Javier’s voice perks up curious.
“Yeah.” You answer with a small smile. “That’s me.”
“Been barking orders at me all these years so why not put her in charge.” Your sister innocently adds and in pure sobbing annoyance you want to shove her face into her plate.
Thankfully everyone laughs, illuminating the room.
But you’re faced with a new reality. You’re going to be here more, seeing Javier Peña more.
And you don’t know how you feel about that yet.
-
The Peña ranch in the morning sits tranquil and the peace gives you the focus on training.
You’re surprised at how good your sister and the mare already bond. You explain a few drills and have your sister run a few repetitions of them.
“You sound like a tough one.” Javier’s voice surprises you and you almost jump over the fence.
Glancing back, he approaches you with two thermoses.
“Pop and I thought you might need an extra pick me up.” He offers and you can’t help but greedily grab at it.
“Tell your dad thanks and that he’s a saint.”
Javier snorts at your reply.
Now your focus returns to your sister. You recommend a type of turning drill vividly remember doing yourself. Your sister playfully salutes you and begins.
“How she looking, coach?” Him calling you ‘coach’ draws a dangerous electricity that snaps up your spine.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dryly tell him trying to keep yourself composed.
“Well isn’t that what you are?” He teases casually.
Your face scrunches up annoyed while his eyes crinkle amused.
“Don’t you have things to do, Javier Peña?” You sigh, already exhausted of this man.
“Javi…you can just call me Javi, coach.”
You’re tempted to childishly scoot away from him. Younger you would have never imagined he was this annoying.
“Don’t call me coach.” You dully repeat.
“Okay, coach.”
Now you contemplate just shoving him away.
But all the annoyance washes away when commotion hits. The horse makes a disgruntled whinny and immediately both you and Javier whip your attention towards the ring. Your sister calmly stays on the saddle, gently soothing down her companion.
After asking if she’s good, her eased thumbs up reassures you. She does a few trots to calm everyone down. You even exhale relieved.
“You lost in thought?” Javier comments.
“Yeah.” You answer him with a mutter. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
You almost don’t tell him. But you surprise yourself and do.
You explain the type of pace that comes with training in barrel racing. There’s a pattern and method to it all. You don’t realize you’ve rambled until you blink and realize Javier stares so directly at you. His eyebrows furrow slightly as if he’s focused hard listening to your words.
Embarrassed, you’re about to stammer out an apology when Javier whistles low.
“You know your fucking shit.” He nods appreciatively and hearing his pride ignites something dangerous in your chest.
Another surprise sharp whistle comes. Out from the barn, a further ways away, Chucho stands staring out. He even waves at you and you wave back.
“You gonna work today, hijo?” He calls out.
Javier curses under his breath.
“Busted.” You joke and now he’s the one side eying you.
“Please you’re the one slacking off here!” Your baby sister suddenly complains loud and cheeky “You’re not getting paid by the hour, coach!”
“Guess we’re both in trouble.” Javier snickers.
You roll your eyes but quickly sneer at your smiling sister.
“Alright then. See ya later…bandita.” Javier already walks away by the time you hear his goodbye.
But it hits you.
He thankfully stopped calling you coach. But now, what replaced it…
Little Bandit.
The nickname rips through you with a barbed fierceness you’re not prepared for.
The rest of the month follows this same routine.
On training days Javier shows up with something for you to drink. Once he even came with a few goods from the bakery across town.
No matter what, he watches practice with you for as long as he can before getting called back to the ranch.
During these moments together, he asks about how the turns are made or why you correct your sister when you do. It’s friendly. You actually start enjoying his company especially when your grandfather so eagerly leaves to hang out with Chucho instead.
The greetings and thanks are always the same.
“Thanks, Peña.”
“Javi,” he patiently corrects you everytime.
You can’t bring yourself to call him that just yet.
At the start of the new month everyone sleeps in and arrives later to the Peña’s ranch.
This time you’ve brought more barrels. Thankfully you can move them with the help of your sister. Suddenly besides you, boots clamor onto the truck and rapidly you snap your attention to the source of the sound.
Javier Peña smoothly climbs up to help you with the rest of the barrels.
He’s in a striking soft purple button up shirt. Sweat already shines against his bare arms. Thick worn in working gloves cover his hands. His hair seems a bit curlier today and he wears aviator sunglasses that suit his face.
Effortlessly Javier grabs onto one and lifts it by himself.
You’re stunned. Even your sister stops and stares just as surprised.
Javier is strong. Doesn’t seem like the muscular type but he’s built and radiates a type of seasoned strength of a well grown man, a rancher man.
His arms firmly hold the barrel, sturdy and toned, and you can’t look away.
“Where d’ya want me to put it?” Javier yells and you trip out of your thoughts to dumbly point where the barrel needs to be placed.
Your grandfather whistles proudly seeing Javier.
“If this rancher thing doesn’t work out for you Jav, you got the makings of a fine rodeo man.” Your grandpa teases.
Javier chuckles, with his eyes averted a bit bashful.
“Could add him to the team.” Your grandpa notes with a twinkling gleam of something mischievous.
You reply a dry no as you move to get off the truck.
In a flash, Javier jogs over and immediately reaches his hand out to help you get down. Placing your hand in his, Javier helps you down and you thank him.
He’s wearing gloves. This shouldn’t feel so significant. Yet the way he firmly holds your hand makes your heart sprout wings.
Even back on the solid dirt ground your legs don’t feel as if they’re under you.
Javier doesn’t stick around after that and you’re allowed to focus.
It’s later in the day, later than the usual practice times, and the Texas sun beats down with a fierceness. You call for more water breaks to keep everyone hydrated.
During a break, a rustling catches your attention. There towards the barn, Javi moves in and around the place.
You just catch the smallest glimpse of him with a hammer in his hand as he heads into the smaller enclosure. Curiosity gets the best of you.
Grabbing another water bottle you justify it as wanting to be polite, but curiosity gnaws at you.
The clang of hammering approaches louder and louder until you spot him in a goat pen. He hammers in a reinforced slab, probably fixing a hole. His back to you allows a glorious full sight of his broad shoulders at work.
He even switches to a drill and watching him casually use power tools, you never thought you’d find this so attractive.
One of the goats nearby makes a blep of a noise at your appearance and you almost want to shush them.
Javier glances over his shoulders spotting you.
“Hey there, bandita. Qué pasó?” he nods at you as the nickname flares up your heart.
“Just…knew how hot it was getting and gramps told me just to check up on you.” You lie waving the water bottle.
Javier turns to face you and you’re greeted with the sight of his full sweaty glory. You should be turned off seeing how bad his shirt sticks to him, how he smells of hay and dirt, but it’s incredibly hot.
The hard work of his day evident on every inch of him brews a dark cloud of desire in you.
“Oh well, tell your gramps thanks.” He replies snagging the water bottle from you.
His plus lips, the glorious sight of his thick slick neck, and the movement of the sweat just covering him as he drinks from the water bottle…
Getting this weak over the sight of him just drinking a water bottler you now think is the lowest you can go. You wonder about walking down by the river nearby and just jumping in to cool down.
From a distance, your sister yells out for you.
“Duty calls.” Javier smirks. With a sheepish smile you shrug then wave a quick goodbye.
You practically run out of that barn like a fleeing field mouse.
Later that night, alone in your room, your fingers slip under your sheets to slide under your sleep shorts. You imagine licking the sweat off Javier’s neck, picture his thick strong fingers, that fix up barns, hoist up barrels, and wonder how thick they would feel inside you.
You fall into desire’s blissful sticky release.
When you shower the next morning, you rationalize that those thoughts of Javier simply come from needing to scratch an itch.
Besides, you couldn’t get tangled with Javier. He’s older. He’s Laredo’s golden boy. He doesn’t go after broken cowgirls like you.
In the shower you turn the heat up more. A part of you hopes it will scorch off the building desire in your heart.
-
The morning is muggy, a soupy cloudy early day begging you to curl back into bed. Soft chirping echoes of the mockingbirds fill the air. You opted for earlier practices this week so your sister could prepare for a trip with her friends coming up. You agreed, wanting her to still enjoy moments outside of this.
“You out here all alone, bandita?” Javier.
He breaks the morning’s stillness. Holding his routine two drinks, he approaches you bundled up in a nice jacket that flatters him.
Thanking him, you greedily grab the drink and savor its warmth.
You explain that your sister is free roaming around the ranch this morning and it’s why you’re all alone. You stare at the empty riding area where the dirt sits holy and untouched.
“Do you miss it?” Javier asks. His voice is quietly probing, gentle as the morning mist.
That question holds a million answers all tied up in a messy knot.
“Sometimes.” You answer truthfully because you did. You missed the adrenaline, the wind blowing past you, speeding around a barrel so fast it was like you were out running the wind.
“Can I ask…” Javier and his soft, kind voice presses on. “What happened?”
Might as well. You’re now sort of friends with Javier even though the word feels sticky in your heart.
“You know that saying about how you just gotta get back on the horse? Well it's easier said than done.” You mutter.
It happened during a ride in Arizona. You’ve fallen and wrecked before. But this one just felt different. You took a barrel close and then everything slipped away. You remember being on the saddle, remember feeling your body float. Then the world went dark.
You woke up to a nasty concussion, a broken arm, and a couple of rowdy scrapes. You don’t remember your foot getting caught in the stirrup, but that’s what had happened.
“Holy fuck...” Javier breathes out, the weight of your words hang in his. “Shit I’m sorry.”
You thank him earnestly and reassure him it’s fine, just unfortunate shit like that happens. Everyone knew how dangerous the sport could get. The rodeo was a rough ride and every cowboy knew that.
But for you, you just couldn’t shake it off.
“I’m glad you made it out.” Sincerity blooms in his voice and your lips tug grateful at how considerate he is as you thank him again.
“You haven’t gone back?” Now he dances on a tight line.
“Nope. I tried after getting the clearance from the doctors but… it just didn’t go well.” You truthfully tell him.
You didn’t want to ride anymore, didn’t want to face everyone or the pressure of the race or the terror swallowing you whole. It felt as if you were burnt dry and exhausted from the inside out.
Your grandma gently embraced you and held you for what felt like hours.
“Then don’t go. You don’t have to do anything that makes you this worried and sick. Nothing is worth you being this scared, not even the damn rodeo.” She told you tenderly and with the most profoundly kind smile. You cried out of relief.
“It’s brave,” Javier says so firmly understanding. “Making a decision like that is really fucking brave, hard as fuck too.”
You gently grin and thank him again while blinking away a few tears.
“Same goes for you too.” You tell him.
From your gramps, who had gotten the full story from Chucho, you learned more about what happened with Javier and his final days in Columbia.
“I don’t know much but, what you did was brave too.” Your voice comes out softer than you expected.
He barks a laugh now. It’s dry, bitter, and can catch fire.
“Doesn't feel like it.”
You understand maybe more than he even knows. So you think about maybe what you would’ve told yourself.
“You did what was right.” You begin. “Everyone else might judge you or say shit but it doesn't matter. You’re not meant to please everyone or do what everyone expects you to do. And if that’s seen as a bad thing then…I don’t know, fuck them and fuck that.”
You say it so simply Javier busts out laughing. It’s a true blue laugh, so sweet it crinkles his beautiful dirt road eyes.
You’ve never seen him laugh like this before. And he’s beautiful.
You join in snickering as well but try to ignore the butterflies suddenly nesting in your stomach.
He’s really such a dream. A carved out Texas man so seasoned from the world, yet he still stays so kind and devoted to his family.
You get why many in the town, especially the girls during your time in high school, are all over him. Now you’re afraid you might’ve fallen into the same pit traps they did.
You’re falling under the spell of Javier Peña.
“So you’re really not going back to catching drug dealers and what not?” You ask when the laughter settles.
“I could’ve.” Javi answers. “Damn DEA would’ve taken me back. But…I just couldn’t see a future with it anymore.”
“And now here I am.” He says with a boyish soft grin.
“Now here you are”. You repeat with a nod.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” You truthfully tell him. You knew his dad worried about him. But the quiet truth is that you’re grateful for this time getting to know him now.
His eyes soften and your heat bursts.
“Thanks, glad I’m here. Glad you’re here too, bandita.” Then he softly nudges you. It’s playfully, friendly but it’s his words that almost take you out by the knees.
“Anyway, the government’s dumb. They don't deserve you.” You nod and Javier snorts amused.
“Guess I should listen to a cowgirl like you.” He teases.
You shrug. “Some people say I’m not one anymore.”
Especially because you didn’t ride anymore.
“Fuck them and fuck that.” He repeats your words and your lips twitch with a bubbling giggle.
Right now, it feels like you and him are two lonely birds sitting on a wire. Yet there’s something comforting about it, knowing it’s with him.
Then it dawns on you. You enjoy spending time with him. You know there’s desire already trickling in for him. But now he’s becoming someone precious to you.
You can’t even deny that anymore.
“Thanks, Javi.”
You don’t miss the way his eyebrows shoot up high.
Thunder roars suddenly clashing into the air interrupting the moment.
The dark clouds now loom on the horizon and coat the morning in an impending murkiness.
“Guess a storm’s coming in.” Javi mumbles.
Thankfully your sister rides back in quick and Javi decides to do some final things around the ranch before the storm rolls in. Before the rain comes, you and your sister pack up quickly. But it’s too late.
The rain pours down in a blink, almost like a hole in the sky popped to let a faucet drain out. The wind even picks up dangerously quick. It’s chaotic trying to wrangle the hose back to the stables but you and your sister manage.
“Come inside!” Gramps yells from the Peña’s porch and you and your sister scurry to the shaded sanctuary.
“You coming in?” Your sister asks while drying herself off with a towel. You don’t move from your spot by the steps.
“I’ll be in a bit.” You reassure her. She glares suspiciously and you shoo her away.
Javi hasn’t come back yet.
Noises clang out from the barn. A poisonous worry erupts through you and immediately you rush back out into the rain.
Inside the barn Javi tries yanking up a barn ladder that’s fallen over. It’s sturdy, wooden, and stuck in a hard position.
You move to help. Without any words or having to explain anything you both, as a team, work to yank the ladder out. Patiently and slowly the ladder gets moved to a spot the wind won’t knock it over.
The rush of it all has you breathing heavy.
“Thanks bandita.”
You breathlessly laugh and turn to maybe make a joke about now becoming a ranch hand and stealing his job. But all words, all thoughts, die instantly.
Having to work together to push the ladder, you now notice how close you are to him.
The sight of Javi soaked to the bone from the rain is corruptible. His clothes stick to him showing off his thick frame and shoulders. His drenched hair now seems darker with the curls more pounced.
He’s also heavily breathing too.
Now his lips, how soft and wet they look, have you hypnotized.
The pattering rain pours down hard on the roof, the only noise in the barn. You notice a shift in Javier. His eyes ever so slightly soften, almost hazing over. You might just be imaging it, but his face gradually seems to lean closer. Or maybe, you’re the one leaning towards him.
You’re possessed with an ache to kiss him, to see how the rain tastes on his lips.
It’s just you and him, soaked to the bone. You probably look like a drenched mess of a creature, but you’ve never wanted someone this much.
“Aye!”
Chucho suddenly shouts out from outside the barn and your heart stops.
Like a skittish roadrunner, you scramble away fast from Javier and just in time. His dad walks in from the other side of the barn holding an umbrella with an extra in his hand.
“You kids okay?” He calls out.
Both you and Javi yell back, quickly moving towards the elder Peña.
“You two look like a couple of soaked barn cats.” Chucho teases.
You weakly laugh and thank him for the umbrella.
Javi grumbles at his dad while he grabs the umbrella to open it up. Ever chivalrous, Javier holds it above you and him. Yet the entire walk to the house is quiet.
Fuck. Did you ruin this tentative whatever was forming between you and him? Or were you just imagining things?
You stay quiet the rest of the time waiting out the storm.
“You okay?” Your sister, keen as always, notices.
You lie with a smile saying the weather’s getting to you. When in reality, it’s a man that has.
Because you can’t stop thinking about Javier Peña now.
-
The rain stays for the rest of the week and everyone takes the schedule changes with stride. Your sister even heads out earlier on her trip earlier during a lighter drizzle.
By Saturday night the storm settles down.
Your closest friend from high school, now back in town for the month, even calls your home phone begging you to take advantage of the better weather.
“Look, before I go back to Florida let’s enjoy a nice night out, yeah? Maybe play some pool?” She pleads.
It’s how you now find yourself at the bar. You haven’t gotten dressed up in a while and you’re reminded of how nice it feels.
As much as you jokingly fussed about going out, being with your best friend laughing at the bar is lovely.
Ricky, one of the bartenders, actually was in the same grade as you two and it’s nice reminiscing, snickering over a nice drink.
“So how’s it been hanging out with Mr. Hero of the town himself?” Your friend smirks.
You make an unamused face at her while Ricky perks up.
“Wait, who are you hanging out with?” He whispers excitedly.
“Javier Peña.” Excitedly, she spills and you roll your eyes when Ricky gasps.
“You’ve fallen for the guy half the county is in love with!?” He hisses. You hate it, but it’s true and tastes soberly cold.
“Okay but practically all of our class was and maybe still is in love with him.” Your best friend adds.
“Well y’all do remember, he left Lorraine Wilson at the altar right?” Ricky reminds everyone and your mouth turns acidic.
“Oh fuck you’re right.” Your friend whispers.
“Might be bad news.” Ricky tensely tells you.
You want to hiss that he’s not like that. He’s kind, a bit annoying, but with a good heart.
“Shit, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Ricky says in a low awed tone.
Worried you whip around to see what caught his attention. Absolute horror drowns you.
Javi and another man step into the bar and you want to run.
Your best friend squeals excited beside you, but you can’t comprehend what she says. Javier has stolen your attention.
Ricky called him the devil and he does seem like an angel dipped in temptation.
The sleek blazer he wears is dressed down by his nice button up shirt and jeans. His hair is styled nice, seeming so soft and begging for someone’s fingers to run through it. A buzz swarms in your head seeing him outside the ranch looking this gorgeous.
That’s when he spots you. For a split moment you two see each other. His eyes widen and before anyone can react you whip back towards the bar.
“Looks like you’re about to fall outta your seat.” Ricky snickers and you death glare at him.
“Okay,” your friend nudges you. “The guy he’s with, I think that’s David Martinez. He was in Peña’s class right? He’s so hot now, what the fuck?” She breathes out.
You almost toast to that because you felt the same about Javier.
So you keep your head down, enjoy your drink and maybe wonder about suggesting that game of pool your best friend advertised.
“Would you two beauties be alright with a bit of company?” A sweet male voice comes out and immediately draws the attention to him.
Behind you stands Javier Peña and his friend.
David has always been kind to your family and his mom even worked with your grandma at the shelter. You appreciate that Javi still hangs out with him.
“Yes of course. We’d love some company, right?” Your friend brightly asks you and you smile polite.
Your heart however rages like it’s a wild bucking bronco trying to break free.
The guys buy a round of drinks. Everyone laughs reminiscing about that one famous senior prank where the class managed to get two cows into the school.
The atmosphere is friendly, light. But your eyes constantly flicker nervously to Javi. You can’t stop staring at him, can’t stop thinking about him. Now here he is a Texas dream, or maybe your nightmare.
You turn back to take another sip and in that shift, your best friend turns to direct all her attention to David who moves to sit beside her.
But now Javier smoothly slides into the barstool next to you.
“Nice to see you outside the ranch.” His voice comes out smooth and rich.
You agree. But the air turns awkward, as if neither of you know how to tackle this new situation.
Suddenly heels clicking fast arrive. Standing to the side is a girl you recognize from your sister’s class that just graduated high school.
“Hi,” she smiles, staring at Javi with obvious hearts in her eyes.
He politely but cautiously greets her back.
“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to maybe dance with me?” She’s bold. You can at least appreciate that.
“My friends all dared me to ask you since it’s, ya know, you.” She gushes and giggles.
“Uh, appreciate the thought but I’ll have to pass, sorry.” He turns her down gently.
As if she finally realizes you even existed her eyes blink to you.
“Oh hey!” She recognizes you as an older sister to one of her classmates. And then for something else.
“Yeah didn’t you like, used to be a rodeo cowgirl or something and then something happened so now you’re not doing anything anymore?”
She’s being underlyingly mean. Her misleading chipper tone, vapid smile, are all soaked in venom meant to shake you or even scare Javi away from you.
But you’re used to it by now. You’re about to comment how she shouldn’t even be here.
Javier however speaks first and fast.
“Hey,” Javier’s voice jumps shockingly sharply, almost reprimanding. Your eyes go wide at how fast he reacts. He even glares at the girl.
Besides you, your best friend immediately turns around.
“Oh hey!” She greets the young newcomer. “Weren’t you that girl caught buying weed only for the cops to figure out you were actually buying oregano?”
Her cheerful tone makes you bust out a snort because yeah, she’s right.
The girl’s face falls absolutely mortified.
“Now get the fuck out of here.” Your dear friend finishes sweet but the undercurrent of her voice looms threatening. The disgraced girl rushes away before she can even reply.
You wheeze into your hand and fondly lean against your dearest sweet friend.
“If she or any of her little punk ass friends try anything again, I’ll shove my heel so far up their asses.” She reassures.
“Don’t worry,” Ricky now jumps in. “I’m definitely telling our bouncer those little shits managed to sneak in.”
Gratitude carves out an ocean in you and you’re thankful for those who understand.
David whistles appreciatively and your friend, with a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder, returns to her discussion with him.
You feel Javier’s eyes burning on you.
“Does shit like that happen often?” His concerned and low voice floats out among the music.
You shrug.
“Back when I first came back it did, but it's dying down.”
You were supposed to be a big rodeo star. You even had an official big name brand sponsorship lined up. But, after the accident, not returning to the rodeo painted you a failure in the eyes of the town.
Especially compared to its bright shining star you sit beside.
Suddenly a warmth slides over your hand resting on the bar. Javier squeezes your hand gently, a reassuring comfort.
“I’m sorry.” He mutters deeply sad. “S’fucking awful.”
You thank him, even make a dry joke about small town bullshit which earns you a small dry chuckle.
“The shit I got after Lorraine…” he sighs and now you find his hand doesn’t leave yours. You don’t want it to.
“I get it. Shit’s brutal.” He finishes, a steeled hardness lingering in his tone.
Now your hand squeezes his.
His eyes, gleaming tiger’s eyes gemstones, flicker up to you and you smile softly.
Javi’s hand feels so lovely. It's rough, a bit callous but cozy. Just like him.
“Hey!” Your best friend suddenly cheers. “Let’s dance!”
She interrupts the moment but you can’t blame her. A hesitant scrunched up reaction tugs at your face though.
“It’s a slow dance.” You waver.
“That’s the best kind! Come on!” She urges and you spot her hand already intertwining with the guy’s.
“You go,” you urge with a beaming grin. “I wanna finish my drink.”
“Aw, come on now bandita,” now Javi slides off his seat.
Standing up straight, he extends his hand out to you.
“You gotta at least get one dance in.” He smirks.
It’s just one dance and you don’t know if you’ll ever get another chance to dance with him. That thought alone outweighs the hesitation. Placing your hand in his, Javier leads you out to the dance floor.
Javi maintains a polite distance from you. Yet the faintest scent of his cologne floats off him, a siren’s song pure of temptation. His hand keeps yours in its protective hold while he gently guides you to the beat of the music.
Being this close to him clouds your focus in a tantalizing haze begging you to get lost in. But you can’t. You can’t even stare into his eyes. So your focus flickers out to the rest of the bar.
David and your best friend dance close, already getting cozy with each other. Then your eyes move to the door.
The bar’s bouncer sternly starts throwing the three girls out and the one you recognize stares at you with disgusted hatred.
You snort.
“What?” Javi mutters, his voice silky against the low music.
You nudge your head towards the bar’s entrance and Javi follows your gaze.
“Oh hey.” He comments, noticing the scene.
“Good riddance. Poor girl must be pissed seeing you dance with someone me though.” You mutter a bit gleeful at the thought.
“Wait, what?” Javi sounds insulted.
“Uh yeah,” you reply, confused. “I mean, it’s kinda funny. You’re Mr. hometown hero here with the town’s nobody.”
“No.” Javier snaps fast. “Anyone who says or believes that’s a pinché cabrón.”
They’re a fucking asshole and the way he speaks with a conviction refuses to allow any doubt to refute him.
“And besides…I’m not a hero.” That’s when Javi’s voice drops, transforming into a whisper tangled among the slow country ballad playing.
“I’m not that golden bullshit guy everyone thinks I am.” His voice contains a stinging rawness you recognize.
Now you’re the one snapping back at him.
“Yeah you are. You’re good, Javi.” You begin firm.
“You’re noble and kind. Brave.” The words flow from your heart and you don’t even stop them. “You’ve worked hard to help people. I’m sure there’s shit you regret and you might not think you’re good because of it, but you are.”
He stays silent. Only the tune of the slow jam settles between you and him. You’re worried you’ve maybe said something to upset him.
Then Javier exhales your name and it has never sounded so tender.
Your throat tightens and when you finally look at him, you’re greeted by a galaxy.
The lights of the bar dance in his dark road eyes that stare directly at you as if the rest of the bar has melted away. Javi’s hand gingerly against your back now slides down gently. In that same motion, he slowly begins drawing you to him.
You don’t resist and catch his eyes flickering to your lips.
A sudden clamoring collision erupts and startled, you clutch onto Javi.
The cause of the commotion is a man who tripped into some chairs. He effortlessly laughs it off. The group he’s with helps him up and you’re thankful it’s not a bar fight.
You sigh relaxed.
That’s when you notice Javier shifted to draw you closer to him. In an almost protective hold, he has you now close against his broad chest. His cologne smells divine, makes your mouth water.
Like a bolt of electricity striking you, you’re galvanized and scramble immediately out of his hold.
“Wait, bandita, what’s wrong? You okay?” He’s so concerned and you dare not look at him.
“Just need some air.” You reply moving away from Javi towards the door leading to the small patio outside.
Your best friend swiftly rushes to you.
“Hey, you okay?!”
You rapidly reassure her that you’re fine and just need air. You even joke about not being able to handle your drinks anymore.
“That fucker didn’t try anything, right?” She asks low and deadly.
You shake your head and squeeze her hand. It’s enough for her to let you leave. Your body operates on autopilot until you stumble into the night air.
It feels like you’re resurfacing. You move to lean against the railing and simply gather yourself.
You feel possessed again needing to kiss him.
And it’s not just that. You want all of him all the time now and it’s infesting you. You’re barely keeping your head above water or maybe you’re this far gone under the waves.
For a moment you think it might be drizzling again. Until you blink and realize the water against your eyes are tears threatening to spill.
You’re so afraid of how badly you want Javier, and how badly it might shatter right before your eyes.
Someone says your name cautiously.
Embarrassed, you turn towards the door.
Javi stands a few steps away from you. His handsome face crumbles instantly seeing you. Quickly he rushes to your side, as if on instinct wanting to help, until he stops.
“Bandita, are you okay!? Fuck… did I do this?” He stammers out worried.
“Did I overstep?” His voice is wrecked. He’s so apologetic already.
You shake your head trying to pathetically dab away the tears. Unable to look at Javier, your attention stays on the dark stretch of parking lot.
“I promise it’s not you. It’s me.” Maybe it will always just be you.
“Querida…”
Darling…he’s never called you that.
“Whatever it is, please let me help.” His voice pleads unbearably tender and you want to cry even more.
He really is so good, too good.
“I just…I just can’t take it...” you begin with a watery cough.
You finally look at him. The furrowed brows, his worried soaked eyes, concern paints him so young. You’re reminded of the young man you saw walking out of a bank all those years ago and how a piece of him stands before you now.
“I like you so much Javi.” Through the heartache, you finally admit it out loud. “Maybe even more than I wanna admit and I don't know if I can’t keep fighting it.”
His face scrunches up and his eyes rapidly scan over you.
“Fight it?” He mutters out. “Why fight it?”
Now you stare at him a bit confused. You have nothing to lose now. So you hold your heart out to him. You reveal it all…the fears and worries sprouting in your heart like uncomfortably cacti about how he deserves someone just as refined and established as him, that he'll eventually get bored of someone like you.
All your words come out hollow, especially thinking about how he can have anyone he wants.
Javier, suddenly in the middle of your ramble, interrupts, upset, snapping your name fiercely that any other words you want to say vanish.
“You’re the only one in this town who actually understands, who maybe even really fucking sees me.” He growls.
Your heart even jumps hearing how determined and raised his voice got.
“You…” Javi now chokes out and suddenly runs a hand over his face. Then his hands go to his hips. His eyes fall to the floor as if he’s taking a moment to gather himself.
“Fuck… you don’t even know what you do to me, how much you fucking mean to me.” Javier breathes and the words get caught in your ribs.
“Whenever you’re not around I can’t stand it. I just wanna be with you….all the damn time.” He coughs out as if he can’t even believe his words.
Those earth pool eyes of his flicker to you.
Under the watch of the clouded Texas deep night sky, it’s just you and him.
You don't know who moves first. Instead it feels like two magnets finally flinging together so fast the collision knocks you awake.
Because in a blink Javi’s hand holds face while his other yanks at your hips. Then he kisses you.
It’s all encompassing.
Immediately your hands scramble to claw at him, begging to get him as close as possible.
His mustache scrapes beautifully against your lips. You taste the beer lingering on his tongue and he’s divine. The wall of the bar suddenly hits your back.
Now you’re flush against him, fully pinned under all of Javier, and you moan. His tongue with hungered finesse licks into your mouth. One hand stays firmly holding your face while his other runs across your body trying to map you out.
His hips rut against yours and you go dizzy with aching raw need.
“Mi pretty bebita, so good to me.” He whispers out thick and heavy. You whine wanting him more, wanting him inside you every way possible. Everything feels molten.
Javi playfully bites your bottom lip and your knees almost buckle. Your mind simply chants for him.
A clash of teeth, a burning heat devours you while you chase every taste of Javier that he gives. It’s an unleashing of something raw and aching, as if finally you can breathe against him while something inside you whispers yes, yes you and I are here and you don’t want to ever leave.
A sudden droplet plops onto your head. You ignore it especially when your tongue swipes against Javi’s and he groans out the most heavenly noise.
A few more large obvious water drops come.
You and Javi freeze, halting mid make out like a paused VHS tape.
Then the rain arrives.
“Shit!” Javi coughs out immediately pulling away. He quickly shrugs off his blazer and drapes it over you, a makeshift umbrella.
Filled by the most buoyant bliss, you laugh.
Javier snorts, shaking his head but he must sense it too, all of it amongst the rain.
And it’s beautiful.
-
“I’m surprised you don’t wear this as much.” Javier comments as he picks up your Stetson cowboy hat.
He’s shirtless, only wearing his jeans. You’re treated to his bare broad shoulders and wonderfully sweet ass in his jeans. It’s an utterly devastating combo.
Sitting on your bed waiting to settle in for the night with him, you shrug.
You didn’t expect him to be so curious and constantly snooping around anytime he’s in your bedroom. Then again, you still can’t believe he’s even in your bedroom.
Sneaking away that the first weekend after the bar didn’t last long though.
Your grandma caught him a few Sunday mornings later trying to sneak out and she ran to you screaming excitedly when she could start planning the wedding. You still haven’t recovered from that.
Even with the blessings from both sides, including Chucho and your gramps, you still wanted to just enjoy being with Javi in these intimate carved out spaces.
His presence already is crystallizing here. His wallet and packs of nicotine gum clutter the night stand. His extra pair of sunglasses sit beside yours on the dresser. His faded worn Texas A&M University t-shirt is tossed by the bed and his boots are by the door. You treasure it all.
Javi, now standing in front of you, places the cowboy hat on top of your head.
The familiar presence of wearing it is like greeting an old friend. You bashfully grin at your handsome rancher. Javier’s eyes gloss over you, taking in the sight. His hand moves to tenderly hold your face.
“You look good, like a true damn cowgirl.” He mutters and your heart flutters against its cage.
“Know you can ride like one now too,” his voice dips with a magnetic undertone as his words hold the heavily sexual double meaning.
You playfully smack his shoulder and he smirks.
“I’m still surprised you don’t call me cowgirl instead of bandita.” You note gently.
“Do you mind that I call you that?” One of his eyebrows lifts up curiously.
No, you didn’t mind at all. You were just curious and you even tell him that.
Javi snorts and his thumb now strokes your cheek.
“The way Pop used to talk about you and how you’d race made you sound like some wild bandit trying to outrun outlaws or something.”
You snort now and your fondness for Chucho Peña triples.
“And then,” Javier continues. “When I met you, I knew I was fucked.”
Now your face scrunches up confused and you ask why. A small charming grin tugs his lips.
“Cause the minute I saw you glaring at me in the barn you stole every fucking inch of me.”
Javi’s thumb now moves to run over your lip and desire bubbles in you. You kiss his thumb, delicate and reverent.
“My pretty little bandit.” His voice is low, a fond rumble in his chest that you want to drown in as much as you can.
You think of all the awards you’ve won, the tournaments you’ve faced. Yet they all seem to fall so short to those words, to this man you so endlessly adore.
In your cowboy hat, you yank Javi close and kiss him. Quickly you and him both tumble into your bed sheets, melting against each other in pure bliss.
In the afterglow, you snatch up the cowboy hat again and now place it on Javi’s head. Your gruff rancher's face twists into a grumpy frown and you grin giddy.
“You look good, a classic Texas man.” You compliment him, almost mirroring the words he told you.
His face scrunches up more.
“Always thought I looked stupid wearing these.” He huffs taking off the Stetson.
“Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.” You reply truthfully and place the hat back on him.
“Especially you.” You add letting your hand slide across his bare chest. The sight of him in the cowboy hat, your cowboy hat, flickers to life the simmering heat from earlier. He’s already so beautiful and now a cowboy hat on, shirtless, with the dimming post sex glow radiating from him, he’s personified sin.
“Cowboy hat doing it for ya, huh?” Javi’s little cocky smirk has you glaring playfully at him.
“Shut up.” You huff but then swiftly kiss him. Soon enough you become one again with the man taking root in your heart.
Early the next morning, when he thinks you’re asleep, Javier’s fingertips trace over your face with butterfly wing delicateness.
“So fuckin’ crazy about you, baby.” He whispers to your unknowing sleeping form. You feel your heart blossom, a morning bloom wanting to keep him tangled in your soul for as long as he’ll stay.
You think again of two lonely birds on the wire, maybe not so lonely anymore.
With a soft kiss goodbye against your forehead Javi heads out and you soak molten in his words.
You end up not seeing him for a few days. Over the phone he explains, annoyed, of having to run around trying to find a specific fence wire and how it’s kept him away.
Even with how much you miss him, it does allow you space.
Earlier this month, you decided on a new training schedule. Each week would alternate between practice at the Peña’s ranch and yours.
Currently practice is at your family’s ranch.
“Next time you talk to that boyfriend of yours, tell him to get tacos from that place he got us lunch from last time.” Your sister yells as she finishes up a few drills around the ring.
You roll your eyes. “He isn’t a food delivery service.”
She simply shrugs.
The day is winding down. Early evening approaches and the Texas sun starts to bathe everything in a golden glaze straight out of a George Strait song.
“You know…I’m happy for you.” As you and her start putting everything away for the day, your sister casually drops that line.
“About what?” You smirk.
“You and Javi.” She clarifies. Her face is messy with sweat but she beams bright. “You deserve someone like him.”
Your sister, always so kind, maybe too kind for a world this harsh sometimes.
“What? Someone who always manages to steal the last biscuit or flirts with grandma more and more everyday?” You tease and your little sister snickers.
“Well yeah. But what I mean is…you deserve someone who sees how great you are.”
Her words crash into you with a tidal wave of emotions. Her attention rests with her horse, getting in a few final brushes before she turns in for the day.
“I know you�� think you’re some sort of failure or that you’re not good. But you are. You’re actually the fucking best.” She says so simply. “And I’m happy Javi sees it too.”
Tears clog your eyes and dry out your throat.
“You sound like a bad hallmark card.” You laugh watery but the gratitude flows out.
Your sister glares then throws the grooming brush at you. You laugh harder when she misses and once she’s out of the stable you playfully shove her.
“You heading back?” She notices your slow pace that hangs back.
You reassure her you’ll be home in a minute and just need a few minutes to yourself. With an understanding nod she walks back to the house.
Now alone you head to the very last stable and head to your ace. You miss your old companion and seeing this sweet creature nudge his muzzle against your hand conjures a sad nostalgic tug in your heart.
Grabbing the saddle, and untangling the reign, you head out to the ring.
You’ve been talking about your old rodeo days with Javi a lot recently. You ask him about Columbia as well. In the sacred soft space of pillow talk. you and him gently unravel more memories, more secrets to each other. It’s made you nostalgic, even a bit wistful.
Plus, you haven’t done this in a while. You frequently rode at a leisurely place along the trails by the river from time to time. But getting into the ring is still so sacred.
With your horse all set, you hoist yourself up and onto the saddle.
Just a few laps is all you do. You focus on the sound of the dirt under the hooves, the light breeze on your face, the feel of riding again.
Then, after gaining more confidence, you speed up.
It’s not even close to the speeds you used to hit, but it’s quick. You even make a lap around the ring going this speed.
One rotation, one good lap and you’re soaring.
It’s nothing. It’s not even an attempt to get back into the rhythm of racing. But it’s a ride and home in its own way.
You slow down, let the horse trot out of his groove to calm down. The entire time, your chest feels so light.
Your eyes glance out and then your heart drops.
Javi, with his flat out jaw dropped, stares at you as if you’ve spouted wings. You didn’t even hear him approach.
He breathes out your name.
Scrambling, a bit embarrassed, you quickly dismount, and after guiding the horse to the side you rush towards him.
You’re about to apologize for not noticing him when Javier ends up speaking first.
“You’re incredible.” He exhales in awe and it knocks the wind from you.
He must see whatever emotion colors your face because he repeats himself again firmer.
“You’re amazing, bandita.”
You weakly laugh thanking him.
“Does that mean-”
“Nah,” you gently cut him off and explain how you just enjoy a ride like that from time to time.
“It’s like just taking a casual drive type thing.” You shrug.
Suddenly Javi’s hand moves to rest on your arm leaning against the fence. He rubs so soft and comfortingly.
“Thank you,” he says gently. “For letting me know you.”
You want him to know every inch of you. The same way you want to know Javier in every way that you can. You want to carve out a home in your heart for him.
The hand that was on your arm moves to your cheek tilting your face towards his. He wears his classic aviator sunglasses you’ve grown fond of stealing from him.
He’s so gorgeous. It’s like the Texas sun was made to bask Javi in its glow. He’s a modern Helios, beautifully crafted with his deep earthy eyes and golden face.
“Proud of you, mi bandita.” He mutters with words soaked in adoration.
You swallow hard and let the truth sink into you.
“Thank you Javi… I’m proud of you too.” You earnestly tell him.
He snorts bashfully and you think you might be doomed to think about this man forever now, but it’s alright.
There’s something foreign in your chest growing so bright you feel as if you’ve swallowed a sun and maybe you have. Because Javier is bright, so unexpectedly warm.
A man crafted right out of the Texas golden magic hour.
And as Javi leans forward to kiss you so tenderly, you step forward into the sun, into his kaleidoscopic glow and it’s beautiful.
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a-green-misstep · 3 months ago
Text
Nandor x Guillermo episode list
This is a list of all the nandermo moments in What We Do in The Shadows (TV show). A good number of episodes have nothing substantial in them relating to the ship other then maybe one scene, and so are skippable.
W.I.P I've done seasons 1 to 5 so far.
Rating system:
A : Top tier interaction and or important for plot
B : Less important overall, but got some fluff in there
C : May having nothing or close to nothing, skippable
Season 1
Episode: 1 A
This is the pilot, important as it introduces the characters, their wants and desires (Gizmo wants to be a vampire) and there dynamics (master and familiar).
Creepy paper
26:10 the gift.
“he made Guillermo a portrait made out of glitter because he remembered his anniversary and wanted to give him something for it. He got the glitter to put on his face because he liked it and then used it to make a portrait for Guillermo. he used something he liked to make him a present and put some thought and time and effort in it. “ - @starlightmesss
Episode: 2 C
Skip
Episode: 3 C
Mostly skippable 
15:37 “I don't want you to die, master.”
Episode: 4 A
Guillermo is “heartbroken” over Nandors decision not to bite him
Especially the start of the episode is quite cute bonding between them
However also an important portrayal of how poorly Guillermo is treated  
Guillermo “quits” for the first time
Nandor shows his appreciation
“You are my…. Friend”
Episode: 5 C
1:00-2:00min bonding and playing chess together
Otherwise nothing
Episode: 6 B
Mostly skippable
18:00 Guillermo kills the Baron
Episode: 7 A
The Vampiric Counvil & The Vampire slayer/savior
Guillermo makes some important moves
Literally saves Nandors life
Episode: 8  A
Nandor has lost his country and sad about it
Guillermo tries to get him to become a US citizen  
Guillermos feelings about not being turned 
“Will you stop fucking complaining.” 🫢
First Nandermo late-night fight/deep conversation
“Guillermo I appreciate you…”
Episode: 9 A
A very horny epsiode
Nandor being possessive when Laszlo and Nadja are ordering Guillermo around
Guillermo dosent kiss :(
Guillermo being very shy about the orgy, a Catholic… yikes
Guillermo tries The Dildos(TM)
Nandor defending Guillermo when Laszlo is insulting him
Nandor checking on Guillermo in his room and basically sitting in Guillermo's lap 😂
“You’d you cum?”
Episode: 10 A
Important for the plot!
“ the heart wants what the heart wants”
Seman
Nandors 37 wives + kids
Guillermo does a DNA test! And is related to Van Helsing…
Guillermo pours holy water on Nandor
Holding hands as he gets into bed :) 
Nose boop
____________________________
Season 2
Episode: 1  B
Guillermo is the vampire slayer
15:20-16:20 Guillermo is underappreciated and doesn't appreciate it
18:30 Nandor saves Guillermos life
21:00 Guillermos plan B
Episode: 2 C
2:50 sassy GiGi
Holding hands and giggling at jokes
Otherwise skip
Episode 3:  B
19:30-20:00 “I guess I turned that part of my brain off, with the feelings and emotions”.
Guillermo facing the fact he's a murdered, and what that means for him (and as such his relationship with the vamps)
Otherwise a skip
Episode 4:  B
Not much Nandermo stuff, but an important episode for Guillermo's development + Derek
1:10 Guillermo teaches Nandor how to use a computer, its cute.
“Id never forgive myself if anything happened to Nandor”
Hug rejected :(
Guillermo staying with Nandor to help him sleep as music plays :)
Episode 5:  C
13:25 “Guillermo get over here and put your neck in my mouth”
Skip
Episode 6: C
2:00 Nandor tells some random vamp to kill Guillermo -_- 
Skip
Episode 7:  A
6:15 “Hes likes the last donut in the display case” 🙁
“It use to be difficult to resist” in relation to eating Guillermo 
Guillermo slays again! 
“Are you trying to make a girlfriend out of dust?”
Nandor is very chill with the vampire killing, even lies for him
FIRST instance of Guillermo almost stabbing Nandor, there is tension
Episode 8: A
Important
Nandor ex past familiar shows up 
Nandor tells Guillermo he should leave
“Are you going to be alright without me?”
Nandor whispers “your being stupid” as Guillermo leaves to sad breakup music :((((
GUILLERMO CRYING
Guillermo  breaks up with nandor  quits and finds a new  mommy  master 
Each feel disrespected
Nandor visiting Guillermo's room and asking his new master to be kind to him
Nandor finding Guillermo running in the snow
“I have been unhappy since you left… i just want to know what i can do to bring you home”
Guillermo got a weekend! Workers rights! (he needs to unionize)
Nandor promises to turn Guillermo… at some point
The boys flying off into the night 🙂
Episode: 9 B
Skip to the end
15:30 Memos man milk
He literally has jars full of Nandors “seed”
Nandor fucks Lazlo
Episode 10: A
THEATRE DE VAMPIRE, I love IWAV references 
Nandor plays peak a boo, and complains that Guillermos not holding his hand
Guillermo quits #3 and moves home
Nandors going through the stages of grief/breakup
“It's good to be wanted”
The vampires are on trial
Nandor sells out and yet covers up for Gizmo 
“When you cared about someone, and they just walk out the door”
Guillermo saves the vamps #2
____________________________
Season 3
Episode 1:  A
Gizmos in prison (sike) 
Nandor does care about him and shows him through little acts, like gift giving (nandors love language???)
Nandor argues to not kill Gizmo - “Hes the only one that can protect us” 
“Co-dependent much ����” - G after mentioning how he still wants to be their servant even though they want to kill him 
THE WARRIOR CODE, the code, the code between men, the warrior code. Nandor owes him a debt of eternal gratitude and mercy now
The sit-down convo in the basement is so sweet. I feel like we get more one-on-one convos between them than we do Nadja and Lazlo, which I feel like says.... something.
Nandor bringing him chicken that he has been preparing (let sit out at room temp) for days :) ?
Nandor standing with Gizmo whilst watching the tape from the vampiric council even though he was sitting a second ago.
Gizmos really big smile when Nandor says they aren't going to kill him (the bar is in hell) 
“Your guys are like my family” and then immediately told to stop by Nandor 😬(hey are we sure this ship is worth it?)
Episode 2: AA
Gizmo training in stabbing, and then with ✝️ cross brass knuckles is hilarious
Gizmo making poop jokes to Nandor lmao, i like seeing the silly bits of life that arent sad silly
Guillermo knowing Nandors exact measurements is very… intimate
Nandor flirting with the gym lady Meg :0 mans looking for a partner 
Gizmos is way too excited about looking just like Nandor
Gizmos' date with Meg is just so sweet, and her making him realize his feelings/him denying those feelings and fleeing (and as such what Nandor's feelings probably are) is one of my favourite scenes in the whole show, also SHOUT OUT to Kayvan for the phenomenal acting. I wish we had gotten to see Gizmo become friends with Meg later on :(
Meg: You like women and men! Nandor: Yes!  BFFR
Nandors going through things :(((( he is a "soft boy" 
Episode 3: A
Nandor is fucking and the gang is worried about him
Why did Gizmo know what Nandors sex sounds sound like
Nevermind… the dildostm
Nandor is in love with Gail! He knows her favourite yoghurt :)
Also, I wonder what the meds gizmo are taking
Gizmo immediately attempts to sabotage Nadors relationship when he finds out he's going to propose and turn her into a vampire 🫢
Yet gail compares Nandor to a sardine  😬
ASS OUT (and blurred cock and balls) hey have I ever mentioned hes hot
The juxtaposition between Gail who doesn't really care about Nandor, and doesn't want to be a vampire vs Guillermo who cares about him every moment and desperately wants to be a vampire. And how Nandor “loves” Gail, but has historically treated Gizmo like crap (even tho he does clearly care for him)
Guillermo watching Twilight with a corps dressed as Nandor…. certainly is something 
He is also way too happy when everyone else is pissed with Nandor for the fucking a werewolf thing 
Guillermo is Nandors “heart guard” omg
Nandor turns Gail into a vamp in front of Guillermo :( 
Guillermo comforting Nandor at the end of the episode :(
Episode 4: AAA
Quick shout out to Nadja for backing it up to the theme song
Guillermo staring at his useless master trying to use a fork and knife 0_0
Nandor defending Guillermo being a bodyguard and not a familiar anymore!
Nandor keeps repeatedly looking at G to see if the others acting interested in him is making him happier :D
The change in expression on Nadors face when they ask if Guillermo has a girlfriend and then ask if he has a boyfriend 👀 (it goes from  😁to  😬😐) WHATS UP WITH THAT NANDOR? (no but genuinely I'd never seen that before, that feels like something intentional) 
My boy gizmo is in the closet, hes got that catholic guilt :/
Nandor staring at him whilst Lazlo talking about how great sex is🧍🏻
I am truly surprised by how deeply Nandor is looking at Guillermo as Lazlo says “Before they meet the one”
Gizmo almost comes out but is interrupted, and Nandor just has this deeply caring look on his face as Guillermo is saying this, and then when he gets interpreted you can see in the foreground this look of disappointment on Nandors face :(
Guillermo sitting alone looking sad as everyone else leaves, and in the background, you can hear Nador shouting with joy :(
Yo, are we sure this is a comedy?
Guillermo worried about Nandor gambling too much + “Nap naps”
Nandor find out about how the universe works, and it is actually a pretty big deal for his character
Love that the episode ends with them walking side by side at the back of the group 
Episode 5:  C
skip
Guillermo fondling Nandors cape
16:40 Guillermo the schemer
Episode 6:  B
Pretty much a skip
Nandor bragging about Guillermos skills to the Baron
“How do you know what vampire piss tastes like” 🤨
GUILLER SLAPS NANDOR and another “stop feeling sorry for yourself”, this mans job half the time is just to get him out of his pity parties
Gizmos bait ouch
Guillermo shaking ass to entice a vamp
Nandor pulls Guillermo out of the way of danger and takes his place
Episode 7: C
skip
The guide flirting with Guillermo lmao
Nandor taking along Guillermo for help with the Nadja quest
Episode 8:  AAA
This ones important!
Creepy paper! Gizmo plans Nandor a party!
Gizmo made Nandor dolls of both of them 🥹
Vampire depression :(     “Nandors in crisis 😨”
Nandor casually taking a beautiful knee
Nandor joins a cult
Time for a very important scene
Gizmo refuses to give Nandor his things so that he wont go 
Gizmo running after Nandor
Nandor relieves Guillermo of his service, firing him 
N: “It is time for me to find happiness” G: “Well I want to find happiness too!”
They are both unhappy.
“Oh boy don't give me this shit” as Guillermo once again points out how long he's spent in Nandor’s service trying to make him happy :(
Gizmo begging to be a vampire, so he can finally be happy
N: "I've grown to have some affection for you. just a little bit you know?" G: “And I for you” N: "Well obviously, but vampirism is a curse- and I- care for you too much to burden you with that. it would way too heavily on my conscience..." "boop! there's that smile...”
When Gizmo says “And I for you”, Nandor looks away, in shame?
Guillermo ends the conversation alone and crying.
We then skip to a month later, Gizmo talking about how hes hurt, and staring at the nandor doll he made sadly.
“I guess I know how it feels, every time I left or I quit…” That one hurt, and this idea is important and will be brought back up in season 6 episode 5.
They both care for each other, and they are both sad and hurt ughhhh
Nandor in the short shorts…
G: “If anything wasn't okay I couldn't live with myself”
Literal sacrificial self-harm with the pulling out of the teeth, like that vampire lashes
The SLAYER is back!
Holding hands as he saves him… against his will
“You just punched Jeremey!” “FUCK JEREMY!”
I dont even know what to say about the final argument in the car. Nandor is just so sad, and its horrible because that also means that Guillermo isnt enough to make him happy.
Episode 9: A
Lmao been in jail so long his hair has grown again
Third show up of the Nandor doll
Guillermo is downgraded to familiar again :( after everything
“I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired” 
The SuperSlumber
Nandor snatching his hand away from Guillermo as he steps into his coffin
Guillermo needs a minute alone 🙁
N: “Again with the make me a vampire shit 😠”
G: “No […] I just don't want you to go…”
Nandors has had orgasms that are longer than 2 hours?! Yeesh
Guillermo appears to be very familiar with the length and girth of Nandors 🍆
Perhaps more of a grower than a shower?
wiggilines
Guillermo looking shell-shocked in the corner
“It seems pretty average to me”, Guerillmo looking at the camera whispering “No” 😐
Guillermo calling the gang a family, and getting Nandor from his super slumber so the family can be all together (do we think the camera crew is family too?) 
Episode 10:  A
Guillermo does deserve to be a vampire, I mean he is a serial killer, he’d fit in well
“Fuck you”
Guillermo running after Nandor as Nandor tells his wows of unfound love (bro hes right behind you)
Nandor is leaving Staten Island, and Guillermo is lost and confused 🙁
“You are one of the things I need to get away from” …. Ouch 
Not only does Nandor make Guillermo plan the travels AWAY FROM GUILLERMO for him, but then rubs it in that hes not made him a vampire
Guillermo running out of the room and to Nandors room, and Nandor going to comfort him in the most demeaning manner possible
“The only reason your alive is because i let you live”
Do you think Guillermo was shitting himself during this scene? 
Guillermo putting Nandor in a headlock and pushing him onto his knees and whisper in his ears about how he didnt want him to feel weak!!! 
NANDORS FIGHTIN BACK
PLANCHA!!
Oh my god the knife being thrown towards Guillermo's head, him catching it the “uhuhuh” and throwing it into the portrait of nandor
Nandor saying “Yes! Yes! This is what I've been waiting for” as Guillermo overpowers him is homoerotic text if I've ever seen it
Bro the heavy breathing as he says “you can take care of me” and asking him to join him as his companion around the world, and that he will turn him into a vampire at the banks of his homeland oh my god…
“Traveling the whole world with my Nand..Master!” YOUR NANDOR YOU SAY?? As he packs the Nandor doll
Nandor shouts for Guillermo at the train station and then leaves his suitcase behind as you embark on his journey alone.
____________________________
Season 4
Episode 1: A
The 1-year time skip is insane 
WHATSUUUUUUPPPPP
“I wish Guillermo was here :( “
Poor Guillermo literally falls through the floor
NANDOR JUMPS IN TO SAVE HIM!
I feel like in season 1 or 2 nandor would never have saved him
Nandor helping Guillermo dry off :( and wants to help him
Nandor “forgiving” Guillermo for being locked into a crate 😒
Nandor Finally remembers Gizmo's last name! And he looks aroused about it 
“Always my friend… by some definition of the word” 
Nandors getting married! And wants Guillermo to be his best man ?!? “now don't be jealous” lmao, ya that boy has been whipped for a decade, but then he was disappointed that he wasn't jealous
Guillermo putting Nandor in his place with just a look when he's laughing at him!
Guillermo the live-in nanny
Episode 2: A
Guillermo literally pulling a knife on the Gine to protect nandor.
Man wives! Love our Pan king
Guillermo got a boyfriend :) <3
He can not wait to explore Kublies body ;)
Guillermo putting Nandor in his place again with a silent and disappointed look 
Marwa my poor girl is now to be wed to Nandor, a shit fate if I do say so myself, especially as he changes her physically and mentally at a wim :( 
Episode 3:  B
He literally made the perfect woman, and yet she is still not enough
In-depth penis discussion
Guillermo has a “very shrewd and incisive mind when it comes to the penis stuff” apparently
Love the idea that Guillermo is now top of mind when Nandor's fucking and sucking
Yet unfortunatley, this does make him… limp
Guillermo being invited to see the penis not once, but twice
Episode 4: A
Guillermo's boyfriend's second sighting!
Nandor says Guillermo could pass as an Orc, Guillermo = not happy, and Nandor = looks sorta pleased about it
Oh poor Marwa :( 
https://www.tumblr.com/theshriekingsisterhood/690860073261596672/wwdits-s4-ep-4-promo-picture?source=share
NANDOR enters Guillermo into a goddamn fighting ring when he explicitly tells him not too
Guillermo “that little fucker can move” de la Cruz
“THAT MY FUCKING GUY!”
Guillermo managing to fuck up two guys in a row effortlessly is sorta hot 
“My closest companion for 13 years!” :(
“KILL MY FREIND! KILL MY FREIND! KILL MY FREIND!” At least he sees him as a friend, ugh
This brawl is sorta hot
The sassy ass “I didn't have to (cheat)!” is killing me! Damn they flirting
STAKES TO THE HEAD ONCE AGAIN, third(?) Instance of Guillermo trying to stab Nandor.
Oh my god sword fighting, and the “you're really starting to piss me off!”... hot
“Stop hiding behind Brian!
Guillermo calling him a fucking dick
Nandor getting more worried that he might have killed Guillermo and then Guillermo fucking kicking down the door of the building he fell through
“They are right Guillermo, finish me off”
“Thinking once again about how in WWDITS 4x02 Nandor bins one of his male wives for not letting him win in a fight and then in episode 4x04 Guillermo … lets Nandor win in a fight.”  - @luckshiptoshore
Epiosde 5: C
Nandor thinks Guillermo is jealous of nandor and lazlos fake gay rimming
Our poor single dad Guillermo 
“ you can burry your own nuts!”
Epsiode 6: A
Nandor trying to sabotage his own marriage / make it perfect
And Guillermo is being run ragged about it
Nandor reminiscing about “ a rainy Sunday together” watching TV shows and then acting like it's not special. Let's be real, if you remember a random rainy Sunday with your friend it is because it was special 
Nandor is an unreliable narrator, which constantly makes statements and then re-negs their importance. He is constantly bringing up the fact that Guillermo is not special after describing how he is, the fact he just must make that comment sorta shows that perhaps he doesn't mean it. It's more of a defence mechanism them anything else. It's not allowed to be special, because if those moments are special then that means that Guillermo is special… but he is a familiar that cant handle vampirism, so he cannot be special to the vampire nandor the relentless, because it's not allowed.
Lovers spat whilst wedding planning
Guillermo literally destroys the living room in the background out of anger
THE WEDDING IS HERE
And Nandors still try to self-sabotage and Guillermo points it out
Emotional talk between the boys about how Nandor is scared in this relationship and how this marriage is a big deal.
“If you get afraid I'll be there” “Thank you, Guillermo, you are my best…. Man" 🥹
Lmao the line of objectors
Guillermo looking up to Nandor smiling at 16:12
The fact that Nandors not turning Marwa into a Vamp :( 
Marwa being wished into loving everything Nandor loves, and then expressing so much love, gratitude and physical affection to Guillermo
🎵 WHO WILL CUM FIRST ON THE WEDDING NIGHT! 🎵
Nandor going to search for Guillermo during the after-party, and putting his jacket on him after he finds him asleep on a sofa 🥹🥹🥹
Episode 7:  B
skip to 19:00
Gizmo comes out to his family as ––GAY–– !!!
The vamps are his family too :)
"bad enough his relationship with nandor" lmao Nadja sees it too!!
everyone's gay! + Sassy Gizmo 😌
Episode 8: C
Poor Marwa, Nandor keeps making remarks about how hes changed her so much he doesn't even like her any more, and how “the novelty weres off” 🙁
Nandor planning the perfect space for him to get railed by a big man (and Guillermo turning away awkwardly)
Marwa spending so much time to make the “man” cave and then taking it over is very slay of her
Episode 9:  A
Guillermo telling us about Freddie his boyfriend finally! (also a weekend trip to New York from London?? Goddamn)
Jeremy introduced to Nandor as his Boyfreind… and the energy is weird from Nandor
What the fuck is wrong with you Nandor, Guillermo has a man and you get a crush on him immediately??? Jealousy is not pretty on you Nandor 
Marwa my beloved no!!!! WTF NANDOR, this shit is a horror movie
yall know that show Kevnin Can Fuck Himself? Ya this feels like that, except he are stuff in kevin/nandors perspective. 
Also… more gay nandor stuff atleast, this must be some physico symetic type thing were he dosent want to be with freidy, he wants to be freddy, cause freddy is what Guillermo likes.
You see how nandor and Guillermo are doin the same things? Almost like they are very similar, and could be really fun with each other if they just let themselves??
Also Guillermo talking about how hes thinking about Nandor all the time 👀
Guillermo and freddie walking in on Nandor and Marwa Freddie naked my the fire covered in furs is insane 
Guillermo putting Nandor in his fucking place once again for doing shity things! 
“You couldn't just let me have one thing of my own!”
“I really care about him!” “I know… :( “ hes a fucking idiot but like, he didnt mean to hurt guillermo and now he feels bad that he did 
Guillermo crying whilst explaining how hes never had a boyfriend before and how Nandor has ruined it is so sad, and also so ex coded right?
Freddie selfcest
Episode 10: A
Guillermo’s getting bored of the job
They are stuck in a never-ending hamster wheel 
Guillermo and Nandors vastly differing view of the world and time, Nandor literally has all the time in the world and is now bored oh the whole “finding love” thing, whilst Guillermo can feel the time hes lost sitting in that damn mansion. 
Everything stays the same
Guillermo quits #4 !
GUILLERMOS GETTING VAMPED BY DEREK!
____________________________
Season 5
Episode 1: A
Guillermo does not appear to be happy, and is dodging the vampire question.
Nandor’s in a good place :) 
Nandor and Guillermo go on a date to a basketball game! (What was the budget for that 3-second scene?!?!?)
Nandor laughing at Guillermo about even the idea of him being a vampire :(
Nandor breaking down a door to see what Guillermo is doing is so intense for no reason
Gizzmo literally thinks Nandor is about to kill him, damn (also very hot of Nandor)
Nandor thinking he missed Gizzmos birthday and feeling bad about it :,)
“Change into your nicest shity sweater :)” bffr
Guillermo having a damn panic attack low key 
Nandor mkaing fun of Guillermo wanting to Become a vampire again :(((
1. Guillermo being in denial about Nandor ever turning him into a vampire 2. Guillermo swooning over Nandor “he cares about me a lot, and he does a lot of really nice things for me 🤭”, he looks like he would be giggling and kicking his feet if he could right now, cute, but saaaaaaaaaaad. 3. “Cute montage” my ass oh my god
🫵 VAMPIRISM/BITING AS A METAPHOR FOR SEX OH MY GOD 
Gizzmo talking about his crush to a one night tght stand, that one night stand asking “ are you sure you want to do this?” (a line VERY often used in media when gaining consent during a hesitant sex scene), and followed by “yes”, i just didnt think it would happen (lossing my V-card (aka vampire card)) like this.”
completly forgot about guillermo almost saying no to being turned :( 
Guillermo trying to sit next to Nandor and Nandor not letting him :(((( 
Oh god this dinner is so sad
Nandor: “[whilst still laughing and guillermo and the idea of him becoming a vampire] Guillermo i’m sorry, eventually, of course i will definitly be turining you into a vampire, when the time is right.” 
“She didnt trust you, you hadent given her a reason to.” - Armand, interview with a vampire
Do you guys see what im seeing???? Cause it hurts, espcially knowing what happened in Season 6 episode 5.
Yo Nandor looking so hurt, he would kill gizmo AND THEN KILL HIMSELF??? That seems gay
Nandor looking for a “Guillermos gifts” shop oml 
Guillermo trying to bite into Derek is hilarious
HOLY SHIT, I feeling like showing a box cutter go into someones arm is the most grusome thing this show has shown oh my god 
Glasses less gguillermo!
Guillermo brushing nandors hair so delicatly :3, also oh my got Nandor is so much taller then him 
Bed time story and birthday present!!!he got him a foot locker because guillermo said he wanted one :((( that shit is so cute
“were all just doing what it takes to  survive” “were all just hiding in plain site”, Guillermo is not doing okay
it feels like he lost his virginity to early, when he wasn’t ready, and with just a one night stand, and he regrets it, but saying the truth to the person he cares about the most, wouldn’t lead to confront, just to more pain on both sides :(. bro i think guillermo cheated.
Episode 2: A
Nandor feels Guillermo being distant
“….bat…”
Lazlo knows!!
Guillermo looking scared oh Lazlo omg
“Please don't tell nandor!” “I don't know if he would even survive it.” ouch! Also, Guillermos sad puppy eyes when Lazlo says that is so sad 
GUILLERMO CRYING NOOOOOO
Man is a bottom 
Lazlo being willing to convince Nandor to turn Gizzmo into a vampire inorder to protect Guillermo :(
Episode 3:  A
Guillermo looking confused and horrified at the idea of a sean pride parade
Guillermo doing his little interviews in his new coffin/bed that Nandor gave him 🥹
Nandor and his little bird friend 
“Members of the LGBTQLMNOP Community!” honestly, with the brain scrammbelies, I forgive him, he is adorable 
“Literally the gayest things on the block!”
Nandor's jealous of Lazlo and Guillermo hanging out, hes literally lost for speech
“Vroom vroom!”
Nandor “soft after two bumps” the relentless
Cock ahoy
Guillermo immediately covering up the window during the day when nandor shows up
NANDOR GOES TO SPACE TO IMPRESS GUILLERMO AND ADMITS IT!
Its pride time baby! Happy pride Guillermo :) 
Lets have a clap for gay ;)
A firey decent back to earth with our lovely naked master
Nandor's butt, with trolls doll hair, and junk covered up only by a pride flag oh my god
Gay Guy :) 🏳️‍🌈
Episode 4: B
Nandor wants Guillermo to come to the guy with him, homoerotic 
Guillermo avoiding Nandor, and they both are sad about it :(
Nandor trying to make Guillermo jealous 
Nandor sad/angry that hes bad at getting freinds 
Nandor circumcision?!?!? Preformed by Guillermo?!?!?
Regenerated forskin
Nandor takes Guillermo to the movies
Epsiode 5: B
Nandor De Laurentiis (i genuinely call him this all the time) 
Guillermo going to a goodbye dinner with his mom and then its her god damn birthday :0
Nandor taking a cinderblock to the dick lmao 
Also Nandor looking for guillermo super casually “hes not back is he???”
Guillermo taking to his mom, and his soft and sad “i dont know…” when his mom asks him were his crufifcs is :( 
Guillermo crying :(( 
Nandor cutting down Colin so skillfully was super hot
Nandor lashing out at Guillermo and then immediately reggerting it when Guillermo takes it to heart :((((( bro why is this episode to sad
Epiosode 6: B
Why does guillermo know that nandors whacking it 
Guillermo falls when flying for the first time when Nandor calls for him, is it because: A. he got distracted and stopped focusing on flying, or B. super nervous around Nandor 
Noone helping guillermo with his broken god damn leg >:(
Drugged up Geillermo is so sweet
“The one i love most is Nandor, because hes like the queen bitch!” you heard it here first folks! 
Episode 7: C
Sky fucking 
“This is my DIARY! :(“
Guillermos a father 
“Having a wank?!”
Episode 8: A
Nandor and Lazlo fucking!!! Only 3 times a week tho :( 
Guillermo gets to sit at the main table with the vamps :)
Guillermo the slayer getting called out, and Nandor trying to cover for him :)
“RUN!!” “show him mercy!!” and then Nandor literally being dragged by the Barron whilst begging him “Baron, stop!”
Is Nadja okay? Why she want to die?? :(
Baron about Guillermo being turned not by Nandor: “It is a violation, a humiliation, a shame from which neither you nore Nador will every recover.” heyy uhhhh, i think he was right :(
Nandor being worried when the baron asks for a moment alone with Guillermo 
“I did all this because I wanted to be a great vampire, like Nandor”
Nandor begging for mercy for Guillermo
“Baron, I beg mercy! I know that Guillermo has made some mistakes, [...] but he did so to defend his master. Whatever Guillermos flaws may be, he has always been loyal to me…”
Dead Guillermo ?!??
Nandor craddeling “Guillermos” body in his lap and arms, whispering “oh no” to himself :(((
Nandor cutting back at the barron saying guillermo was just a familiar! 
“he was not just a familiar, he was my body guard, he was the best man at my wedding, he was my friend…”
Nandor shouting at Lazlo to stop as he cuts open his belly!
Nandor seems to be pathologically unable to show unrestrained affection for people (specifically guillermo) how many times has he shows affection or care for guillermo, just for it to be followed up by a cutting remarks? how many times has be gone to touch him and pulled away before reaching him?
“fly like the wind my little friend”
Guillermo in Nandors coffin!
“the first day guillermo become my familiar, he gave me a card… what did that card say?” your telling me he remembers what it says?? a decade+ later??? these mother fuckers forgot about jerry entirely, and he remembers a card a decade latter??? wow
“it said, to be a vampire is my dream, but to be your familiar is my honor, thank you for this opportunity” and tandoor mouthing the words too….. 😭
“we have a long history guillermo, i image that i know you almost better than anyone.”
Episode 9: A
‘Guillermo smell this jock strap!’
“Guy like that, gets a whiff of something musky, he absolutely will not stop” 👀Guillermos into Bears canon 
TBH skip to 17:00
LMAO the Guide casually letting slip that Guillermo is a vampire now
N: you asked… someone else, a vampire that was not me…” G: I felt like I had no other choice (eyes tearing up, said with a gulp). N: You could have asked me! G: Are you fucking kidding me? I asked you repeatedly for 13 years! N: Yes, and I was gonna get round to it! If have a lot on my plate at the moment! G: *sad scoff* N: Who? Who was it? it's relevant to me! …. N: now I’m going to be honest with you, I am going to kill you Guillermo, and then quite possibly myself.
Nandor immediately knowing what’s wrong with Guillermo and his half vampire state
Run Forest Run!
Episode 10: A
Guillermo is lost, scared and hiding from Nandor
Nandor destroys Guillermos Bed and pillow that he gave to him in seasons 5 and 2 respectively :( 
Nandor literally strangling a guy he thinks is Guillermo 
“I have given Guillermo my friendship, and this is a gift I do not give to just anyone. [...] I thought Guillermo had earned it.” :( 
More afraid of losing the vamps/Nandor than dying
Yo Nandor threatening Guillermo's mom is so intense
Guillermo and his stakes
G: I don't believe you. N: no of course your don't….
This feels like foreshadowing to S6E5
THE WARRIOR CODE!
Guillermo almost stads Nador #4! Also hot suicidal Nandor 
MAMA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!
Guillermo will finally be an equal! 
Nandor smart, 
GUILLERMO THE VAMPIRE!! Lmao the lisp with the fangs
Nandor is so ready to accept him into the group now! Hunting with him, giving him vampire tips
Guillermo can't go through with it :( too human 
Nandor the creep, “just as i feared, guillermo is not cut out to be a vampire, i will fix…”
Also, him trying to use a gine wish to fix it is so sweet, (but also what happened to those 3 wishes Nandor got as a wedding present?)
The ceremony of vampiric transmogrification
The image of Nandor and Guillermo, face to face, close together, as for the first time Nandor tends to Guillermo instead of the other way around, carefully tying the bow on Guillermo's cloak….. The zoom into Nandors hands near Guillermo's heart and neck, hiding both of their faces, although showing Guillermo looking up at Nandor. Wow, the subtext is beautiful
Also, I LOVE those robes.
“ the answear must come from your heart” “ would you rather be a human or a vampire.”
The look on Nandors face, the look on guillermos face as he is essentially breaking the news to Nandor via looks. For a second it seems Guillermo will not have to say anything, but he does, “a human”. Nandor would have understood him either way.
Guillermo cant even kill Derek, G: “I cant do this”, N:”you want me to do it.” Nandor whispers to Guillermo softly. G:”i dont know…” N:”I do.”
Earlier in the season, Nandor tells guillermo that he knowns Guillermo better then anyone, this scene really proves it.
Long hair and bear Guillermo!!
Nandor just Had Guillermo's old glasses in his pocket?!?! Was that specifically because he anticipated the change, or does he just have a spare pair for him??
Nandor made up an entire ceremony to help Guillermo. Nandor putting his hand on Guillermo caringly.
Lazlo helping Guillermo with the body is very sweet
____________________________
Season 6
Episode 1: B
Nadja being causion not to upset nandor by talking about guillermo
“Its okay to just admit you miss him a little bit”, Nandor “in denial” the relentless
Guillermo fix the coffin/box that Nandor bought for him and then destryoed last season 
I love the little pride flags in Guillermos new room, also tbh it looks like a better place then his last room 
Guillermo putting boundaries down between him and Nandor, they havent seen each other in months! im happy for him, but sad for my ship
Nandor dosent look happy about it 
Good old Panera Bread
Nanodor just wants to talk about Guillermo to Jerry lmao 
Nandor hanging out in Guillermos room to talk, both of them sitting on his bed
“I ate your shit over and over!”
Everyone wanting guillermo to move back in :( 
Ya your definitely doing okay Nandor 
“As a former friend” ouch. Also Guillermo desperately trying to set boundaries
Episode 2: B
"Guillermo has a big time, big boy,  big dick job?!”
Guillermo, Nandor and Nadja are coworkers!
blue collar Nandor!
Nandor just wants to help and support Guillermo :( but
Straight^tm Guillermo
“no funny business! like murder…”
Episode 3: A
“now that guillermo has left the house, Nandor is a broken man”
Alconodar Nandor! + shirtless Nandor! been a while
“sashay away!”
Nixon Nandor???
Nixon Nandor going to Guillermo for help :(((( 
Guillermo immediately knowing something wrong with Nandor :((( 
“Sockittome” how romantic 
Love how after everything, Guillermo has a very chill relationship with the Baron 
Nandor x Lazlo, that ship has gotta be a thing right?
Baby Guilermo 😣 
Nandor playing along (also note the weird ass handshake)
This scene is so adorable and sad 
Guillermos excitement and joy about interviews and meeting a vampire, and having the possibility of being a vampire infront of him :(((( 
Guillermo got bullied :( was shy and no friends 
“I was rich and a jock”
Not Nandor wanting guillermo to stay as he is, saying he’ll let both of them just how one night like this (and then, once again, immediately cutting his words of affection with an insult to guillermo)
Episode 4: A
Lmao nandors into the Guide now….. Oh no… they, they arent going to make them end game are they??
“Yes mast…. Yes Jordon!” lmao freudian slip
Guillermo has to fire Nandor!? 
Gillermo really dosent want to fire him :( 
“When i was a warlord, I would always discourage none sexual fraternization amongst the men”, so… sexual fraternisation is allowed with your man colleges then  ?????
Nandor literally looking sadly through a window at Guillermo and his boss is insane 
Insane of drunk guillermo to stand right behind nandor on the couch, putting his hands on his shoulders and saying “the rest of it can go fuck it self” until he remebers about jordon
“Its about being the right fit, maybe thats what we were? Or weren't… Nandor couldn't make me a Vampire, and i cant make him a Janitor.”
This whole broken up vide is very sad
“Im proud of you.” and then Guillermo immediately firing him is so painful
N “Its fine!” G “Im so sorry…” N “good luck guillermm…” is he choked up? Was nandor going to cry?
I dont understand the handshake, its a very week handshake, with nandor not even grabbing his hand back. It seems maybe he was so sad man couldnt even shake his hand, even though he wanted to 
Hes humiliated :( Nandor for the first time asking for privacy from the Doc crew oh my god, and him breaking down and scream when they keep following him. Hes so hurt and angry ughhhh.
Epsiode 5: AAA (SORRY THIS ONE NEEDS CLEANING UP, i went a tad insane)
Nandors run away :( 
“The blade of the proverbial guillotine has dropped, and the blood has pooled at Guillermo's feet” damn Lazlo  
Nandors gone insane
“when one is burned, one feels most at home among the ashes” “amongst others that have been discarded” oh Nandor :(
Nadja calling out Guillermo for being mean to Nandor
Also Nandor doing weird shit in the background
“we are the hollow men”
Nandor talking to himself saying “you live a thousand years and you think you know what betrayal is, what horror is, but then in a single instant you find out what man is truly capable off.” AND THEN REQUESTING SIMON AND GARFUNKLE
Guillermo and Nandor fighting :(
S1E4: Guillermo “quits” for the first time (dosent really, but was ready to bounce).
S2E6: Nandor tells some random vamp he can kill Guillermo 
S2E7: Nandor is very chill with Guillermo killing a vampire, and even lies for him to cover it up.
S2E8 : Nandor tells Guillermo he should leave 
S2E8: Guillermo  breaks up with Nandor ��quits and finds a new  mommy  master 
S2E10: Guillermo quits #3 and moves home
S3E8: Nandor leaves guillermo for a cult.
S3E8: G says, after Nandor has left for the cult: “I guess I know how it feels, every time I left or I quit…” 
S3E10: Nandor after anouncing hes leaving to travel the world to guillermo alone: “You are one of the things I need to get away from” 
S4E10: Guillermo quits #4 ! (does so quietly tho, thinking hed be a vampire by end of night)
S5E1: Nandor: “[whilst still laughing at guillermo and the idea of him becoming a vampire] Guillermo i’m sorry, eventually, of course i will definitly be turining you into a vampire, when the time is right.” 
“She didnt trust you, you hadent given her a reason to.” - Armand, interview with a vampire
S5E8: Baron about Guillermo being turned by a vampire that is not Nandor: “It is a violation, a humilation, a shame from which neither you nore Nador will every recover.” 
S5E10: (guillermo whilst holding a stake up to nandor at his moms house, after nandor has been trying to kill him due to him becoming a vampire) 
G : I dont believe you. N: no of course your dont….
Also the comparison of Nandor and Guillerms fight and Nadja and Lazlos fit. 
“Im not the enemy, and you know that!”
“Your just pissed you werent … a good culture fit.” :( way to rub it in 
Nandor playing ANOTHER BREAKUP SONG, AND, making guillermo listen to it fully lmao 
Literally a break up scene, this shit is insane 
N: I WAS HUMILATED! Do even know what loyalty is Guillermo?
G: Do i know what loyalty is?! Uh ya, i was blindly loyal to you for 15 YEARS!
N: Until you got rid of me! I never got rid of you. I protected you! Even through all the fuck up’s, and the time you forgot to buy glitter [G: Rolls eyes], and the “I want to be a vampire, no actually i dont want to be a vampire”! The time you vearly killed the Baron TWICE! Through all that shit! I was loyal. I may have done a lot of things Guillermo, But i never, got rid, of YOU!”
G: do you think i felt good firing you? I didnt want to fire you! But thats how things are! In the real world! In the human world! I had to do it! 
N: I used to be a human before i became a vampire, incase you forgot! I never betrayed by friends, my comrades in arms, NEVER! Maybe some of the wives, but you know it was a different time!” 
G: im sorry… i didnt know that the janitor job was so important to you. 
N: Well it was. It was my purpose, my purpose use to be raising you, to become a great vampire. Until you pussed out, and found a new master in Jordon. 
Guillermo then answering Jordons call, whilst Nandor angrily kicks stuff in the back is so sad. Even in there break up, Nandor cant get Guillermos full attention anymore.
….
G: You know, i do know what it feels like to loose your purpose. I use to want to be a vampire so bad, it guided every choice i made, i mean dont get me wrong, im happy im a human again, but it was hard. It was hard waking up every day with that not being the goal. To be a vampire
….
G: Well i think ive found a new purpose, you will to, somewhere… But maybe, right now, are purposes are taking us… in diffrent directations, and thats okay. 
N: Perhaps your right Guillermo, i am a warrior, but this is not my fight. 
Guillermo wearing the YASSSS Sean shirt from the pride epsisode is so sweet
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