#i will never ever see others as lesser for things like this yet i find it so hard not to beat myself up over this

[laserlem0n]

i genuinely despise how there’s this expectation to be productive 100% of the time and how it’s convinced me that i am lesser and unloveable and a bad person for physically not being able to when that’s not the case at all

[classicsofclassicsofgame]

Game: Unknown

We arrive at (in my humble opinion) one of the best Classics of Game videos ever made. Here we see CoG's auspicious eye for Dumb Video Game Shit at peak form, featuring a game that has been scrutinized, discussed and praised/condemned to no end. And yet before this video, I don't think I'd ever seen anyone walk into this exact kill plane.

I wouldn't say this video makes me emotional, but it does fill me with a strange sense of wonder. It's harder to see with most of the other entries since they come from lesser-known games that you and I have never played before, but here we truly see that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The gross, muddled textures of scaffolding and weird pots in strange yellowed lighting...the alluring glow of some mysterious gems leading you onward...the insane looking beast corpse casually clung to the leg of the player the entire time.....these are things you would not be thinking about for a second if you ended up here on a casual playthrough. Every so often you need to stop and smell the roses.

It's been easy to make quick judgement calls of other CoG games, the ones I know almost nothing about. Any time I watch this one, I desperately want to find people who have never seen a single screenshot from Dark Souls, who know absolutely nothing about it so I can show them this video. I'm certain that if you did, if you showed this honest slice of one of the most highly-regarded video games ever made, they'd probably say "This looks like shit." And I think that's beautiful.

[natsaffection]

Please can we have something with top!reader please?

Reversed. | N.R

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI!, Oral (n receiving) fingering (n receiving) begging, edging multiple orgasm.

Word count: 4,8k

A/n: Actually found this in my notes..

You found yourself in a circle with other agents and Avengers, the excitement in the air amplifying as the night progressed. The game of Truth or Dare was in full swing, and when it was your turn, all eyes fell on you. "Y/n.." Clint Barton grinned mischievously, "I dare you to seduce Natasha."

The group erupted into a chorus of whoops and cheers, their eyes darting between you and the redhead seated across the room. You raised an eyebrow, smirking as you accepted the challenge with a nod. It wasn’t the dare that was the challenge. It was Natasha herself. The Black Widow was an enigma, her emotions as guarded as her past, and yet you felt a thrill at the idea of unraveling that mystery, even if just for a night. You stood, smoothing the fabric of your dress, and made your way toward the bar where Natasha sat. Each step was calculated, purposeful, as you approached the formidable assassin. Natasha didn’t look up as you neared, but you knew she was already aware of your presence. It was in the way Natasha’s posture shifted ever so slightly, her body attuned to the movements around her.

"Mind if I join you?" you asked, your voice low and smooth. Natasha’s eyes flicked up, meeting yours with an intensity that could stop a lesser person in their tracks. She studied you for a moment before nodding, a ghost of a smirk playing on her lips. "Be my guest." You slid onto the barstool beside Natasha, signaling the bartender for a drink. The silence between you was thick, not with discomfort, but with the weight of unspoken words and mutual intrigue.

"I hear you’ve got quite a reputation, Y/n." Natasha said, finally breaking the silence. Her voice was calm, measured, but there was an undercurrent of curiosity. "I could say the same about you." you replied, your tone equally measured, though with a hint of playfulness. "But I’m not interested in what everyone else says. I prefer to form my own opinions." Natasha chuckled softly, taking a sip of her drink. "And what opinion are you forming now?"

You leaned in slightly, your eyes never leaving Natasha’s. "That you’re even more intriguing up close." Natasha’s eyes flashed with amusement, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she tilted her head, studying you with a new intensity. "And what is it you’re hoping to find, Agent Y/l/n?"

"Maybe I’m hoping to find out if the Black Widow is as untouchable as everyone says." you replied, your voice dropping to a near whisper, an edge of challenge lacing your words. Natasha set her glass down, turning in her seat to face you fully. The air between you crackled with electricity, a tension that was palpable and undeniable. "You might find that some things are better left untouched." You smiled, a slow, confident curve of your lips. "Maybe, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge."

For a moment, the world seemed to fall away, leaving just the two of you, locked in a battle of wills and desire. Natasha’s gaze softened, just a fraction, as she considered your words. Then, she leaned in, her lips brushing lightly against your ear as she spoke. "Careful what you wish for." Natasha whispered, her voice sending a shiver down your spine. "You just might get it."

With that, Natasha pulled back, her smirk widening as she took in the subtle flush on your cheeks. Your heart raced, but you kept your composure, matching Natasha’s smirk with one of your own. "That’s what I’m counting on." you replied.

When you and Natasha finally stood from the bar, walking together toward the private rooms that lined the edge of Stark Tower’s upper floors, a knowing grin spread across Tony’s face. He nudged Clint with an elbow. "Looks like you might be losing this one, Barton." Clint groaned but couldn't suppress his smirk. "Never thought I'd see the day someone could match Natasha like that." The team exchanged glances, some amused, others a little concerned. But they all knew that whatever was about to happen, it was going to be explosive.

You and Natasha slipped into one of the private rooms, the door closing softly behind you as the sound of the party faded into the distance. The room was luxurious, dimly lit with plush furniture and a large bed dominating the space. But it was the air between you both that was thickest of all, humming with anticipation. Natasha turned to face you, her eyes dark with intent. She took a slow step forward, her movements deliberate and predatory, like a panther stalking its prey. You felt your breath catch, but you weren’t about to back down. Not when the game was just getting interesting.

"I’m impressed." Natasha said, her voice low and sultry. She reached out, trailing a finger down your arm, sending shivers through your body. "But I think it’s time you realized who you’re dealing with." There was a challenge in her words, one that you weren’t about to ignore. Natasha was the Black Widow, used to being in control, to being the one who dictated how things went. But you had your own reputation, and you weren’t about to let Natasha take the lead so easily.

You took a step closer, closing the distance. You reached up, cupping Natasha’s face with one hand, your thumb brushing over the assassin’s bottom lip. "Oh, I know exactly who I’m dealing with." you whispered, "But maybe you should see that I’m not the type to be dominated so easily." Natasha’s eyes flashed with a mixture of surprise and intrigue. She wasn’t used to being challenged in this way, and you could see the gears turning in her mind. But before Natasha could make a move, you pressed forward, your bodies nearly touching, your hand slipping around to the back of Natasha’s neck, pulling her in close.

"I know you like control, Romanoff." you whispered against Natasha’s ear, "But tonight, you’re going to let go of that. I’m not here to play by your rules, Natasha."

For a moment, Natasha hesitated, her body stiffening as she processed your words. She was torn between her instinct to dominate and the strange, electrifying thrill of someone standing up to her in this way. You felt the tension in Natasha’s body and leaned in, your lips brushing against Natasha’s in a feather-light touch that was more of a tease than a kiss. The touch seemed to spark something in Natasha, something raw and primal. But instead of trying to regain control, she found herself curious, curious about what it would feel like to let someone else take the reins, if only for a moment. Her lips parted slightly, and you took that as your cue.

With a firm but gentle hand, you pushed Natasha back against the wall, pinning her there with your body. Natasha’s breath hitched, a flicker of surprise and something else..something akin to excitement passing through her eyes. "You might be the Black Widow.." you murmured, your lips grazing the sensitive skin of Natasha’s neck, "but right now, you’re mine."

Natasha let out a shaky breath, her hands instinctively moving to grasp your hips, pulling you closer. But you weren’t about to let Natasha dictate the pace. You moved your hands, pinning Natasha’s wrists against the wall, holding them there with a strength that belied your appearance. "You wanted to see what I’m capable of," you continued, your voice a husky whisper that sent shivers down Natasha’s spine. "so let me show you."

Natasha’s eyes darkened with a mix of emotions, lust, curiosity, and a grudging respect. You weren’t like anyone she’d ever encountered before, and that was enough to make her relinquish control, if only for a little while. With a slow, deliberate motion, you captured Natasha’s lips in a searing kiss, one that was more of a claim than anything else. Natasha responded with equal passion, but there was no mistaking that, in this moment, you were in charge. You deepened the kiss, your hands roaming over Natasha’s body, touching, teasing, and exploring with a confidence that left Natasha breathless.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily, the air between you thick with the promise of what was to come. Your gaze was steady, your control unshakable, as you looked into Natasha’s eyes. "Tonight, I’m in control." you whispered, "And you’re going to love every second of it." Your gaze bore into Natasha, a smirk playing on your lips as you reveled in the fact that you had one of the most dangerous women in the world at your mercy. Without warning, your hands moved with surprising strength and precision, pushing Natasha back until she was forced to her knees on the plush carpeted floor.

Natasha's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise and defiance crossing her face. "You-" she started, her voice carrying that edge of command she was so accustomed to wielding. But you weren’t having it. You silenced Natasha with a firm hand on her shoulder, leaning down to whisper in her ear, your voice low and laced with authority. "I told you, Natasha. Tonight, you’re mine. You’re going to do exactly what I say."

Natasha’s heart pounded in her chest. This was unfamiliar territory for her, being on her knees, looking up at someone with power over her. Her instincts screamed at her to regain control, to flip the situation and take charge, but there was something intoxicating about the way you commanded her, leaving no room for negotiation. Your hand slid into Natasha’s hair, tugging lightly, forcing the assassin to look up at you. The dominance in your eyes was unmistakable, a sharp contrast to the playfulness that had marked your earlier exchanges. "Now, Natasha," you murmured, your tone soft but firm, "I want you to eat me out."

She tensed, her muscles coiled, ready to flip the script and take back control. But you sensed the shift, and with a quick, forceful tug on Natasha’s hair, you brought the redhead’s attention back to you. "Don’t even think about it." you warned, your voice a growl that sent a shiver down Natasha’s spine. "You’re going to stay right there, on your knees, and do exactly what I tell you. You wanted to see if you could handle me, didn’t you?"

You watched the battle play out in Natasha’s eyes, a knowing smile curving your lips. "Good girl." you purred, your voice soothing, as if coaxing a wild animal to submit. You released your grip on Natasha’s hair, sliding your hands down to cup Natasha’s face. "Now, do as you’re told." Natasha hesitated for a fraction of a second, her pride flaring one last time. But there was something in your touch, in the way you exerted control with such confidence and precision, that made Natasha’s resolve falter. Slowly, she leaned forward, her hands gripping your thighs for support as she obeyed the command she had been given.

You let out a soft sigh of satisfaction as Natasha’s lips pressed against your inner thigh, moving closer to where you wanted her most. The feeling of Natasha at your mercy, doing exactly as you commanded, was intoxicating. Your hand found its way back into Natasha’s hair, guiding her with a gentle but firm touch. But just as Natasha was about to take things further, you suddenly tightened your grip, pulling Natasha back slightly, just enough to remind her who was in control. "Not so fast." you whispered, your voice teasing, as if savoring the moment. "You’ll go at my pace, Natasha."

A frustrated growl escaped Natasha’s lips, but she complied, her body betraying her desire as she leaned in again, slower this time, more deliberate. Your breath hitched as Natasha began, her touch both skilled and tentative, as if testing the limits of her submission. You arched your back slightly, your grip tightening in Natasha’s hair as the pleasure began to build. "That’s it," you murmured, your voice breathy, "just like that.."

Natasha’s pride still burned, but it was smothered by the heat of the moment, by the way you commanded her with such skill, reducing her to a vessel of pleasure. Natasha's instincts told her to take back control, but each time she thought about it, you would tighten your grip or whisper something that sent a thrill through her, reminding her exactly who was in charge. You reveled in the power you held, knowing that you had reduced the Black Widow to this..on her knees, fully compliant, her every move dictated by your will. And as the pleasure mounted, you knew there was no going back from this. You had won, and Natasha knew it too.

Your control never wavered, not even as you felt the crescendo building within you. Natasha’s skilled tongue and lips worked wonders, but it was your dominance, your control over the situation, that pushed you over the edge. As the waves of pleasure crashed over you, your grip on Natasha’s hair tightened one last time, holding her in place, forcing her to continue until you were completely spent. Only then did you release her, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you looked down at her.

Natasha pulled back slightly, her lips swollen, her breathing just as heavy. She looked up at you with a mixture of satisfaction and submission, her pride wounded but not broken. There was a new understanding between you, a bond forged in the heat of your encounter. You smirked, brushing a thumb over Natasha’s lips, which were still glistening with your essence. "I told you," you said, your voice a soft purr, "I’m not like the others. You’re not the only one who knows how to take control."

You stepped back slightly, taking in the sight of Natasha, her usually composed and powerful demeanor now slightly frayed at the edges. But even now, there was a resistance in Natasha, a stubborn refusal to fully submit. You could see it in the way Natasha held herself, in the tight line of her jaw, and in the steely resolve in her eyes. But you were determined to break through that last barrier. You wanted to hear Natasha, to feel the powerful assassin surrender completely, not just physically, but emotionally. You wanted to push Natasha to the edge, to the point where she had no choice but to beg.

You reached down, taking Natasha’s chin in your hand, tilting her head up so your eyes met. "You’re strong, Natasha.." you murmured, your voice low and filled with a dark promise. "But even you have limits. I’m going to find them." Natasha’s breath caught, her eyes narrowing as she stared up at you. She wasn’t about to back down, not even now, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in her gaze. You smiled, a slow, predatory grin, before you leaned down, capturing Natasha’s lips in a fierce, possessive kiss.

As you pulled Natasha to her feet, your bodies pressed together, you felt the tension in Natasha’s muscles, the way she held herself taut, as if bracing for what was to come. You wasted no time, your hands moving with practiced ease as you led Natasha toward the large bed in the center of the room. Natasha followed, her movements reluctant but inevitable, like a moth drawn to a flame.

When you reached the bed, you spun Natasha around, pushing her down onto the soft mattress with a force that left no room for protest. Natasha landed on her back, her hair splayed out around her like a fiery halo, her breath coming in shallow gasps. You climbed on top of her, pinning Natasha’s wrists above her head with one hand, while the other trailed down her body, tracing the curve of her waist. "You can fight all you want," you whispered, your voice a dark, seductive murmur in Natasha’s ear, "but we both know how this ends. You’re going to beg for me, whether you want to or not."

Natasha’s eyes flashed with defiance, her lips parting as if to argue, but you silenced her with a searing kiss, one that left no room for resistance. Your hand slipped between Natasha’s thighs, your fingers finding the wetness there, and Natasha gasped, her body betraying her with its response. You smirked against Natasha’s lips, your fingers moving with deliberate slowness, teasing but never quite giving Natasha what she craved. You could feel the tension building in Natasha’s body, the way her hips subtly bucked, trying to get more, trying to take back some control.

But you weren’t going to let her. You wanted Natasha to break, to give in completely. "Comon, Natasha.." you murmured, your lips brushing against Natasha’s ear as you spoke. "Stop fighting it. You know you want this. You know you want me." Natasha groaned, her head tossing back against the pillows, but she still didn’t give you what you wanted.

"I..won't..!" You could feel the struggle within her..the battle between pride and desire, between control and submission. And you were determined to make sure desire won out. You increased the pressure, your fingers moving faster, more insistently, driving Natasha closer and closer to the edge. Natasha’s breath came in ragged gasps, her body trembling beneath your relentless touch. You could feel how close she was, how much Natasha was holding back, and it only spurred you on.

"Don’t hold back." you commanded, your voice sharp and authoritative. "I want to hear you, Natasha. I want to hear you beg." Natasha’s eyes squeezed shut, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as if to keep herself silent. But you weren’t about to let that happen. You slowed your movements, your fingers stilling just enough to keep Natasha on the edge without letting her fall over it. "Say it." you whispered, your voice a tantalizing caress. "Beg me, Natasha."

Natasha’s breath hitched, her body quivering with the need to release, but still, she held on, her pride refusing to let her give in. You admired her strength, but you also knew it was only a matter of time. You leaned down, your lips brushing against the sensitive skin of Natasha’s neck, your teeth grazing lightly. "Beg me." you repeated, your voice a dark command. "Or I’ll stop."

The threat hung in the air, and you could feel Natasha’s resolve cracking, the thin veneer of control slipping away. Your fingers moved again, this time with a precision that had Natasha gasping, her back arching off the bed as pleasure shot through her.

"F-Fuck..Please.." Natasha finally whispered, the words slipping out before she could stop it. Her voice was strained, thick with need and the remnants of her shattered pride. But you weren’t satisfied with just that. You wanted more. You needed to hear Natasha fully surrender.

"Louder." you demanded, your fingers pushing Natasha closer to the brink, her body writhing beneath you. Natasha’s breath came in harsh pants, her mind clouded with desire, her body aching for release. The last of her resistance crumbled as she finally gave in, her voice breaking as she cried out.

"Please!" she begged, her voice hoarse, desperate. "Please, I need it.." The sound of Natasha’s surrender sent a thrill through you, a heady rush of satisfaction as you pushed her over the edge. Natasha’s body tensed, a strangled cry escaping her lips as she climaxed, her entire being consumed by the intense pleasure that wracked through her. You didn’t stop, drawing out Natasha’s orgasm, making sure she felt every last wave of pleasure until Natasha was left trembling and spent, her body limp beneath yours.

You smiled, brushing a strand of hair away from Natasha’s flushed face. "There you go " you murmured, your voice soft but filled with the satisfaction of victory. "Was that so hard?"

Natasha lay there, her body still trembling from the intense orgasm that had ripped through her. Her breath was ragged, her mind swirling in a haze of pleasure and confusion. But as the aftershocks began to fade, the familiar desire to regain control, to be the one in charge, crept back into her consciousness. She shifted slightly beneath you, her muscles tensing as she prepared to turn the tables. But you, ever vigilant, sensed the shift immediately. A sly smile tugged at your lips as you watched the fire flicker back into Natasha’s eyes, the determination to reclaim her dominance clear. You weren’t about to let that happen. Not yet.

"Oh, no you don’t." you murmured, your voice laced with authority as you tightened your grip on Natasha’s wrists, pressing them back into the mattress. "We’re not done here. You think you can just switch back to being in control after one orgasm? Think again."

Natasha’s breath hitched, her body still sensitive from the overwhelming pleasure, but she couldn’t help the small flicker of defiance that flashed in her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, to protest, but you silenced her with a firm kiss, one that left no room for argument. Your hand moved with purpose, sliding down Natasha’s body, your fingers finding the slickness between Natasha’s thighs once more. Natasha gasped against your lips, her hips instinctively bucking as a fresh wave of pleasure surged through her. She wasn’t ready, she thought she was, but the intensity of your touch was too much, too soon, and her mind scrambled to catch up with the sensations overwhelming her.

"Y/n-" Natasha tried to protest, her voice cracking as she attempted to regain some semblance of control. But you weren’t having any of it. You pulled back just enough to look into Natasha’s eyes, your gaze sharp and commanding. "You’re going to stay right here, Natasha. You’re not going anywhere until I say so." Natasha’s pride flared up, but your relentless fingers left her no room to argue. You expertly teased her, bringing her close to the edge once more, only to back off slightly, leaving Natasha teetering on the brink. It was maddening, this push and pull, the way you held her at the precipice of release without letting her fall over.

"F-Fuck, Y/n comon.." Natasha finally whispered, the word slipping out unbidden as her need began to overpower her pride. You smirked, your fingers increasing their pace, knowing exactly how to push Natasha to the edge and keep her there. "What’s that, Natasha?" you taunted, your voice dripping with dark amusement. "I didn’t quite hear you."

Natasha’s body trembled, her breaths coming in ragged gasps as she fought to hold on to whatever sliver of control she had left. But you were relentless, your fingers working in tandem with your lips as they traced a hot path down Natasha’s neck, sucking lightly on the sensitive skin. "Please, let me cum.." Her voice more desperate now, her body aching for release.

"That’s more like it." you whispered against Natasha’s lips, your voice thick with satisfaction. Your fingers curled just right, pressing against that spot that made Natasha cry out, her body bucking uncontrollably as the second orgasm ripped through her.

Natasha’s world exploded in a blinding haze of white, hot pleasure, her mind shattering as she was pulled under by the sheer intensity of it. But even as she climaxed, you didn’t stop. You kept going, your fingers never pausing, drawing out Natasha’s orgasm until the assassin was left a trembling, quivering mess beneath you. Natasha’s breath came in ragged gasps, her body completely at your mercy. She thought..hoped that it was over, that you would finally let her rest. But you had other plans.

Before Natasha could even catch her breath, your fingers were moving again, relentless in their pursuit of Natasha’s total surrender. Natasha whimpered, her body oversensitive, her mind struggling to keep up with the onslaught of sensations. "P-Please!" Natasha pleaded, her voice broken, her body trembling uncontrollably as you pushed her closer to the edge once more. "Please, I can’t-"

"Yes, you can.." you whispered, your voice a soft command as you leaned down to kiss Natasha’s neck. "You’re strong, Natasha. Strong enough to take everything I give you."

Natasha’s pride was shattered, her body and mind pushed beyond their limits. She had never been this vulnerable, this out of control, and yet she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. "That’s it, Natasha.." you murmured, your voice soothing as you brought Natasha to the brink one last time. "Let go. Give it to me."

Natasha couldn’t hold back anymore. Her body tensed, a strangled cry escaping her lips as the third orgasm hit her like a tidal wave, crashing over her with a force that left her gasping for air. You held her through it, your fingers never stopping, drawing out every last drop of pleasure until Natasha was left utterly spent, her body limp and trembling. You finally slowed, your touch becoming gentle, soothing, as you leaned down to press soft kisses to Natasha’s flushed skin. Natasha’s eyes fluttered open, her gaze dazed, her body still humming with the aftershocks of the intense pleasure you had wrought.

"You did so well, Natasha.." you whispered, your voice filled with warmth as you brushed a strand of hair away from Natasha’s face. "You took everything I gave you." Natasha’s breath hitched, her chest rising and falling with the effort of trying to catch her breath. She felt utterly exposed, completely vulnerable, but there was also a strange sense of peace, a peace that came with knowing she had given everything, that she had let go completely.

You smiled down at her, a soft, satisfied smile, before leaning in to capture Natasha’s lips in a gentle, lingering kiss. It wasn’t about dominance or control anymore..it was about the connection you had forged in those intense moments, a connection that neither of you could deny. When you finally pulled back, you brushed your thumb over Natasha’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped during the intensity of your encounter. Natasha looked up at you, her eyes still wide with the remnants of her vulnerability, but there was also a newfound respect and trust in her gaze.

You slid down beside Natasha, pulling her close, letting the silence of the room envelop you both. For now, there was no need for words. You had said everything that needed to be said through your bodies, through the way you had challenged and ultimately surrendered to each other.

[forthegothicheroine]

I've made a post about great lesser-known noirs, but it occurs to me that some of you might not be familiar with the classics, and might want to know where to start. This is a ridiculously short list- I have a million more to talk about- but here are some of the big stars of the genre.

The Maltese Falcon: Sam Spade, a clever but callous private detective, gets wrapped up in intrigue relating to an artifact that is functionally cursed. If he's an unscrupulous character, just wait until you meet everyone else. The whole damn cast is electrifying, lending charm and cruelty in equal measure.

The Big Sleep: Philip Marlowe, a kinder and more poetic detective for Humphrey Bogart to play than Spade, is called upon to deal with a wealthy, dysfunctional family, and it keeps on getting weirder from there. Is the sharp-tongued Vivian Sternwood the femme fatale she seems, or is she just another person trying to find the right thing to do in desperate circumstances? And will she and Marlowe keep their hands off each other until the plot has had its last twist?

Double Indemnity: Rich housewife Phyllis Dietrichson and sleazy insurance agent Walter Neff are, by their own admission, rotten people. It's only natural that they should plot a murder together, and that they should turn on each other the very second things go wrong. Every single domestic murder movie since 1944 has ripped this off.

Kiss Me Deadly: This is nominally an adaptation of a Mike Hammer story. Screenwriter Bezzerides hated Mike Hammer. As depicted here, he is one of the worst people in the world. Depending on the cut of the film you see, he may inadvertently cause the nuclear apocalypse. (For once, the theatrical cut is darker.)

Sweet Smell of Success: Cruel, all-powerful columnist JJ Hunsecker wants his sister's boyfriend out of the way (for reasons that are, um, ambiguous.) To accomplish this, he enlists the biggest weasel in New York, Sidney Falco, and the two completely deserve each other as they spend the rest of the movie trading elaborate insults. Popular on tumblr for its dialogue and chemistry between the leads.

Sunset Boulevard: Broke screenwriter Joe Gillis thinks he can con a has-been into hiring him as a script doctor, and that's the last free decision he ever gets to make. From then on, his life is in the hands of Norma Desmond, silent film starlet turned crazed recluse, terrifying yet intensely pitiable. This is as much gothic horror as noir.

Ace in the Hole: The story of a man trapped in a cave is turning out to be a big hit in the newspaper, and if the publicity will make a reporter's career, then what's the harm in delaying rescue just for a little while? This is as vicious as noir gets, but damn it, you've just got to see what happens next. (Watch Jacob Geller's video Fear of the Depths after this.)

Sorry Wrong Number: Of all the films on this list, this is the one that really scared me. In the days of switchboards, a rich hypocondriac woman is connected to the wrong phone line and overhears a murder being planned. It doesn't take her long to figure out she's the intended victim, and each call she makes or recieves makes the situation darker. But how can she escape her fate if she can't- or won't leave her bed?

The Asphalt Jungle: The heist movie. Maybe the only heist movie ever made. Every line is quotable. Every member of the team is an unforgettable personality. When things go wrong, they go horribly wrong. One minute you're laughing, and the next minute you think you'll never laugh again.

Gun Crazy: Laurie and Bart, two practiced sharpshooters, are perhaps the most perfect match in all of noir- and that's a bad thing. When one half of the duo gets a criminal idea in their head, the other can't say no. When the opportunity to ditch her man like a sap comes up, the femme fatale throws it away to be doomed at his side. He fell in love with her when she first aimed a gun at him. Quentin Tarantino kissed star Peggy Cummins's feet at a showing of the film, and I hope she kicked him in the head.

Laura: Everyone was in love with Laura Hunt, and somebody killed her- or did they? Did they get the right person? Is the cop on the case in love with a dead woman? Was her columnist mentor just her gay best friend, or was there something darker beneath that facade? And what would Laura think of all this? A big inspiration on Twin Peaks.

In a Lonely Place: Bogart isn't at all heroic here, as a screenwriter with a drinking habit and a violent temper. He's obviously a bad idea to date, but just how bad an idea? He's not the type of guy who'd kill a woman, is he? Bogart and Gloria Holden give perhaps their best performances here, and they'll wound your soul.

Touch of Evil: A Mexican cop (played, unfortunately, by Charlton Heston) finds out a nasty secret about the big hero cop Hank Quinlan: he's framed the culprit in most of his cases. Not because he's crooked, but because his intuition tells him they're guilty. Director Orson Welles as Quinlan is frightening, grotesque, and a little bit tragic in what some consider the last classic noir.

The Killers: The first twenty minutes or so are an adaptation of a Hemingway story, where out of town hitmen gun down a man so depressed he won't even bother to run from them. The rest of the film is an investigation into how he got that way. It had something to do with a radiant gangster's girl, and something to do with a few botched crimes. Sometimes a man can die before the bullets even touch him.

The Third Man: Everybody is lying about the whereabouts of an American expatriate named Harry when his friend comes looking. Did they do something to him? Or, more frightening still, is he the one who's been doing things to other people? Orson Welles is a more charming monster than he was in Touch of Evil; the light and shadows on his face cast him as a vampire, while his fingers sticking up through the sewer grate look like something terrifying emerging from the earth.

[luffyvace]

The Luffy Package ☠️📦

(General & relationship headcanons as well as Luffy quotes (relationship implied) for his big day!!)

had to go all out for my fav 😊🤭

General Luffy headcanons:

Luffy has nails so short dirt can’t get under it 😭

not necessarily the booty diggers 🤭

but just really short, like almost booty digger ig—but not it

he has like 1% nail

its not intentional, they just never grow

i have a feeling someone taught luffy how to dance

idk who

it was likely makino, shanks or some else he cares deeply about

but he learned early on and has been a great dancer ever since!

maybe at parties since they happen a lot in one piece ⭐️

But just because someone taught him doesn’t mean he was awful at dancing at first

maybe he was a natural!

feel the rhythm typa thing 🎶 🕺

it’d be funny if he was

cuz imagine a guy that can dance but can’t sing

how you gon dance on beat to a out of tune song?? 😭

at least to uta anyway

ive always loved Luffy’s singing‼️

he never thinks about what the one piece is

but would be the most disappointed if it isn’t something cool

this dude is NOT interested in books so if the one piece really is just joyboy’s tale i don’t think he’ll be satisfied..😭 (I’m talking about the theory)

he definitely wouldn’t say it was all for nothin tho

he still has nakama, treasure and is the pirate king!! 👑

but…the one piece as books is just a mega L for him

Robin will enjoy ♡

you know that thing he does where he stretches his face real big? Like the time he was tryna cheer nami up when she was sick? And it scared vivi and zoro?

he scared himself when he first realized he could do that too

he was bored and started messing around with his devil fruit

at first he was outside and he stretched his mouth, and when realized he could see inside it, he was like ���I wonder what this looks like’

so he went inside and did it into a mirror

he somehow managed to trash the whole bathroom running away from his reflection

he quickly got over it and realized it was kinda funny

he showed Ace and sabo who also found it terrifying

then preceded to scare people with it ever since

d end! :)

I feel like he’s thought about what the ‘D’ in his name stands for too

He came up with a bunch of outrageous names that likely aren’t it..

”Dingus?”

”Donkey?”

”Demarto?”

”Doorbell?”

”Dinosaur?”

yeah, dinosaur seems the most plausible 😊

Luffy Dinosaur Monkey!

‘HEY THAT SOUNDS COOL 🤩’

yup, that’s probably what it stands for 😁

sneaks into the usopp factory whenever he’s not in there

he ends up playing with his creations and destroys, it, other projects, and the factory altogether in the progress

he then runs out laughing

usopp later returns to the ruins only to find his months work of his greatest creation yet named “ultimate captain usopp three thousand smasher” has been reduced to fragments of metal nothing ☺️

listen idk if oda has confirmed Luffy’s favorite color but I would say it’s none

why? The same reason why you can’t ask a toddler their’s, it’s just gonna constantly change and you know it’s not the truth

arguably, if I had to pick an actual color based off canon, (IK it’s a shade but wtv) it’d be white

why? wym? Don’t you remember that one ep where luffy sang a song about how he loves snow cuz it’s so white?

(one of his lesser talked about songs 😭💗)

Relationship Luffy headcanons:

Luffy as a partner is really rambunctious and loving

But do note that loving doesn’t always mean romantic

for him it means loving you a lot but not being lovey dovey when showing it

you need protecting? He’s on the case!! He can’t and he has to beat someone up? One of your nakama’ll do it so stay with them!

your strong? Perfect! He’s gonna go fight this guy so you go beat up that one!

why am I mentioning that? Because it shows he has a great sense of trust and faith in you

Of course he does with all his friends but your reasoning is different

not only are you his nakama, your also his partner!! Which means he loves you in a intimate way!! Not just platonically

I say “just” because I swear sometimes Luffy’ll feel like a friend with you (best friends and lover typa thing 💞) he’s just as goofy and chaotic with you as he is Usopp and chopper

he feels extra lively when around you and always wants to play, whether you like this or not. Your personality depends a lot on how your relationship with him is but I won’t dabble into that today because it’s his birthday. 🎉 but honestly it doesn’t matter if you punch him like nami or laugh like brook-

he’s still gonna bug you! 💖 seriously you can’t get rid of this dude 🤨 Luffy will drag you on every single one of his adventures so I hope your either brave or fearless like him. The only time you two separate and he allows it is when he’s fighting the boss type thing LOL. Like Doflamingo or smth.

that said Luffy isn’t clingy he just likes being around you and seeing what your doing. Especially when you haven’t landed on an island yet and he’s bored. He’s always singing, playing with your face (ironic cuz he’s the stretchy one) or trying to get you to play some silly game he made up

that usually somehow manages to tick everyone off. 🤷‍♀️

will grab your hands randomly and make you dance to some song he made up about literally anything he sees or feels

he even made one about YOU once :3

”OOOOOHHH your my partner! Yes my partner! We’re having lots of fun! Going on adventures- YAHOO!! And dancing a ton! We’ll dance all arcross the grand line!! Take your hats off and let them fly!! YIPPIE!! We’re having a graaaaand TIIIIIIIME!” 😁🕺

Luffy quotes: (implied relationship between you two)

”HEY LOOK DO YOU SEE THAT ISLAND!! Cmoncmoncmoncmoncmoncmon!! HURRY UP I WANNA GO EXPLORING!!”

”can you sneak in the kitchen and steal some food from sanji? I’m really hungry and he won’t let me in anymore!!”

”LETS HAVE A PARTY!!!” — “we don’t need a reason! CMON!’ CHEERS!”

”lets tame that thing and make it our pet!!”

”what should we name em?” — “Junpi? SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!” (You didn’t get a chance to respond 💕)

”HEY LOOK A RESTAURANT!! Grab on I’ll rocket us there!! HURRY UP IM HUNGRYYY!!”

”hey! Do you have any food on you?? I’m hungry!”

”Liar!! I can smell it!!”

”take a bath?! I don’t stink!!— EUGH!- okay yeah maybe….but I don’t wanna take a bath!! I’ll get all tired!”

”I’ll leave you with that guy! So go kick some butt! I’ll deal with that red forehead guy!!” (AN: There’s no actual red forehead guy that’s canon, I made it up 👍)

”⁉️ HEY WHAT HAPPENED?! Did that guy beat you up?! I’ll send him flying!! 💢”

”Shishishishi! Shh! Watch this! I’m gonna drop this on Usopp’s head! 🤭😂”

”Lets play a gaaaaame!! I’m so bored! 😞”

”can I have some of your food?” *Already stuffing a piece in his mouth* (the point is it’s not the whole thing ⁉️😱)

”HE LOOK MY BOUNTY WENT UP!! 🤩🤩‼️“

”Isn’t this fun?! 😆” (having a near death experience)

”don’t worry! My injuries don’t hurt at all! See? I’m dancing! I’m having fun!”

”oops. Sorry.”

”look!” (Two chop sticks stuffed up his nose and mouth)

”WOAHH A MAN KILLING BEAR!! LETS GO CHECK IT OUT! 🤩” (even if you wanted to say no your already being hoisted over there because you weren’t running fast enough for him)

”plan? Never mind that!! Let’s go! We’re gonna kick that butt head guys’ butt!!” (AN: another fictional villain I made up on a whim)

”HOLD ON TIGHT” (Gum Gum Rockets with hardly any warning)

”let’s play a game!! It’s called steal zoro’s swords without waking up zoro!! 😁”

”nyop!” (Puts you atop his shoulders 💓)

”nyop!” (Jumps on your back almost knocking you over 💝)

”look at my disguise! Nobody will suspect us! 😎👍”

”Cmere!” (Pulls you into his lap)

”HI! Is it almost time for dinner yet?” (Plops down in your lap)

Thanks for supporting me and my work—as well as my random disappearances too 💗🤗

Everyone! Say it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUFFY‼️‼️

[unwantedshivering]

interested in nsfw head canons for kev if you take those sort of requests 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ i feel like sex with him would be really… strange so i’m curious on your take about it!

WHERE YOU END AND I BEGIN

HEADCANONS for KEVIN KATCHADOURIAN during sex.

MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: sexual in nature, not totally explicit, no mention of body parts, mention of dacryphilia, light erotic asphyxiation, light fear-play, degradation

FOR: Kevin Katchadourian

NOTES: i’m still a bit unfamiliar with writing nsfw so be kind lol. please be mindful that this is NOT for everybody and much less for those under 18.

Intimacy with Kevin is very direct. You always know when it’s coming, and your breath always catches in your throat. He signals it with a lot of physical contact: the back of his hand ghosting your neck, collarbone, any sliver of skin. Kevin isn’t a stranger to desire, though they’re usually more darker and violent things, he doesn’t require sexual desire.

It makes him feel something. Like he’s alive. Physically, but during such times with you even emotionally. This doesn’t stop him from seeming like a ghost outside of his own body, but don’t be alarmed, he doesn’t disassociate. He’s entirely focused.

Your expression is forever etched in his lids, and unnervingly, he doesn’t close his eyes. His ministrations are borderline cruel, always. His fingers will chase, mouth following, and weight pressed against your own in an attempt to enmesh you to him, like an unbreakable chain. It’s possessive, and oftentimes enough to make you feel as though he wants to eat you whole.

It’s intense as well, and in his head he knows that you’d never go to anyone else for sex. Not when he can drive you to tears. That’s another thing he won’t admit.

He’s very much so into dacryphilia and degradation. Tears have always fascinated him, in or outside the bedroom. He can’t cry. He hadn’t since he was a child, but you, you cry so easily. You can cry like breathing. What else can make you cry?

Whether seamless pleasure or his biting tongue, he likes seeing you broken down. Something about the messiness, your pathetic shaking, he can’t stop himself from enjoying it. It’s a heaviness in his chest that buzzes, tingling to the rest of his body — it’s entirely sadistic.

“You’re squirming like some bug. Does this seriously get you off?”

“Have some decency. You’re so fucking loud, it’s grating.”

“If you can’t use your words, I’m stopping. Why can’t you speak? Are you dumb?”

Don’t think that crying will get you any leniency, though. If anything he’s meaner. It’d be worse if you tried not to cry or make a sound, and Kevin hates the idea of you hiding away from him.

He wants you completely bare in front of him. Emotionally and otherwise, and if you bite your lip to stop noises he’ll be downright brutal. Too much, too quick, too anything. He needs that reaction. Surprisingly, he’ll listen oftentimes, but if you’re willing he’ll pick apart your body to put you back together.

He’ll test the limits of what you can handle. He’s a fast learner as well, and so pace-setting, mouth movements, it’s all like flowing water to him. He knows what ticks you off, and he finds new things each time. A hand lightly on your neck, a flash of fear, a squeeze.

Kevin may unnerve you occasionally, but that underlying fear is something he plays with. When he realizes it can get you off, he makes you regret ever showing him that you like it sometimes. He may introduce other things that require your trust like that if the situation arises naturally, and yet he’ll make it seem like your idea.

“You’re sick, you know that?”

It amuses him to no end, and any shame you may feel will be unabashedly teased and probed at by him. You’re into something like that? Do you hear what your mouth is saying? You’re filthy. Despite him doing worse and saying worse, he can somehow make himself seem cleansed of this. He’ll always seem above his own dirtiness he’s partaking in.

Your pleasure is still a lesser priority than his whims despite this though, and his all-encompassing desire is to break you. If he can’t do it through violence, through his anger, he can morph this sickening feeling into something else. He can safely make you cry without driving you away.

Somehow though, this desire can still be unexplored to him. It’s all an act of trust to him. You trust him bare, crevices and dips for him to sink his fingers and teeth into, and he trusts you (if it can be called that) to touch him.

He might clench his jaw if you brush your teeth against his neck and ear, and you’d know immediately it’s a sensitive area for him. He likes his hair messed with, tugged maybe, but too harshly and he’ll bite you harder. His desire is something deeply-seated and only unveiled in these moments to you, just as his true nature is closed off to those around him.

Kevin is a sight above you. Sweat ghosting his forehead, dark locks beautifully blanketing your own face — it’s entrancing. He’ll allow you to hug him close in these moments before you finish, despite the obsessive need to watch your every facial twitch, if only because he’s just as ruined and out of it.

[queer-ragnelle]

hi! i apologize if this is outside your ballpark. i recently came across a post about how religion appears in bbc's merlin and it got me thinking about religion in arthurian legend in general. i was wondering if you have any thoughts on the topic? what religions do the characters follow and how does it impact their lives? i know most of the 'cast' is christian but even then medieval christianity is different enough from modern christianity that i constantly feel like i'm missing some nuance/context when i read arthuriana. do other religions feature (such as judaism, islam, pagan spirituality) and are there any essays on it or books where that's explored? thank you for all you do and have a great day!

Hello!

So I’m definitely no religious scholar of any kind. Yet I somehow managed to write an obscenely long post in reply. I've provided copious amounts of literature on everything I'm discussing here, so I encourage anyone who sees this to read what's provided and form their own opinion. Although my reply is based on the Medieval stories I've read and quoted as well as the essays and books of people far more qualified than I am, it's still my own interpretation, and shouldn't be taken as the final word on this highly complex subject. If anyone finds something here I've gotten wrong, please don't hesitate to educate me otherwise and point me in a direction to learn more!

Without further ado...

The first thing anyone looking into this needs to understand is [most of] the Arthurian stories we have were drafted or documented by Christians, oftentimes monks (ie, people very devoted to their religion). Even the texts like the Mabinogion or The Welsh Triads, which contains no Christianity, wasn’t written down until the 12th century after the oral tradition had passed through the Christianizing of Britain. Not to mention translation bias, an oft overlooked factor. For example, French characters Lancelot and Galahad were retroactively added to The Welsh Triads to bring the Triads more in line with the widely popular French narrative. Translator Rachael Bromwich has excellent footnotes regarding this in the file I shared above. So just keep that in mind while reading/researching this subject.

More generally speaking, while some characters themselves aren’t Christian, such as Muslim Palomides or the occasional Jewish character, the texts are [mostly] from an overtly Islamphobic and antisemitic viewpoint. The depictions of religion in Medieval Arthuriana should never be taken as an indication of how things “really were,” either in the time it’s meant to take place (ie, the 5th-6th centuries when the Saxons were colonizing Britain) or the time/place it was written in (ie Chrétien de Troyes wrote from his own 12th century Breton perspective). Point being, it’s all very biased. Perception heavily depends on the place and year things were written and translated. If you're ever unsure which translation of a text will best suit your needs, whether that means accuracy, readability, or containing more robust footnotes, don't hesitate to ask.

That being said, the differences you’re touching on regarding Medieval versus Modern Christianity sometimes stems from Christian Mysticism, which was a prevalent theology in the Middle Ages and still exists today (albeit to a lesser degree). Some contemporary sources on this would be:

The Confessions by Saint Augustine of Hippo

The City of God by Saint Augustine of Hippo

The Book of Divine Works by Saint Hildegard von Bingen

The Letters of Hildegard von Bingen Volume I by Saint Hildegard von Bingen

The Letters of Hildegard von Bingen Volume II by Saint Hildegard von Bingen

The Book of Margery Kempe by Margery Kempe.

Now the thing with Christianity in history and Arthuriana is that the lines between orthodox practice and the mystical was blurred. On an episode about charms, the Medieval Podcast (also available on any podcasting platform like Spotify) explains how people bought and used charms all the time, even within their Christian practice. To them, it was a part of their worship. They may have chanted some words over a sick friend while anointing certain parts of the body in the hopes it would aid in healing. Depending on the time and place, this may or may not have been openly discussed for fear of repercussions or accusations of blasphemy, but it was common enough for historians to have gathered a multitude of examples preserved in spell books. To a desperate Medieval Christian, one of these charms occupied a similar place to Pray the Rosary or Hail Marys in hopes of boosting the success of their endeavor.

So in a similar vein, that concept is sometimes stretched for the sake of an Arthurian story. What you end up with are characters like Merlin, supposedly half-demon, but baptized, therefore his purified magic and prophesizing is considered "Christian;" Morgan le Fay, raised in a nunnery, yet learned necromancy from the holy sisters; and Gawain, who obtained his sun powers, as well as his name, from the hermit that baptized him. At least, so it goes in the Vulgate.

In a way, these people are not magical through their own power, but channeling the divine with the help of their Christian education in order to bestow those benefits, often health, strength, or prosperity related, onto others. (You'll see a lot of real life examples in the contemporary sources I linked above.) Vulgate editor Norris J. Lacy and his translation team left a footnote on the Gawain passage explaining the history of the Gawain/Gwalchmai character that lead me to theorize that this passage might be an attempt by Anonymous to maintain those heightened magical powers while offering a palatable Christian explanation for it.

A similar phenomenon can be seen in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the characters are staunchly Christian, and yet the presence of a green-skinned knight astride a green horse who can survive a beheading is seen as marvelous, even miraculous, rather than monstrous. As Larissa Tracy explains in the essay Shifting Skin Passing as Human Passing as Fay, although the Green Knight is Othered by the court, he's not so Othered as to be held entirely apart. He's "tallest of men" and "half a giant." He is still one of the "in" crowd at least a little bit. So while his green coloring shocks the court, and calls to mind Otherworldly fay, in a way similar to the Lady of the Lake or other such beings, the Green Knight isn't viewed as an enemy of the crown so much as a chance for the court to prove its virtue. In the end, this Green Knight was indeed a man, Sir Bertilak, transformed by Morgan le Fay to take on the monstrous visage, and was indeed "one of them" all along. In this way, concepts which seem magical (read: Pagan) to the modern reader remain steeped in Christian ideals. This extends to Gawain's pentacle shield as well, sometimes misconstrued with a similar Pagan symbol, which the poem outright states represents the five virtues of knighthood or even the five wounds of Jesus Christ. Then again, Rhonda Knight's essay All Dressed Up With Someplace to Go: Regional Identity argues the opposite point, that there is indeed a divide. Knight asserts that the poet has intentionally heightened the dichotomy of insider/outsider, particularly as it relates to the Anglo-Welsh border between Sir Bertilak's Wirral and King Arthur's London Camelot. It's quite plain from the moment the Green Knight enters the scene there's a stark split between the two cultures, whether that be interpreted as the people of Wales and the people of England, or the Otherworld associated with Wales and the dominance of Christianity.

But anyway enough about Christians. Let's talk about my friend Sir Palomides and Islam.

A brief recap for anyone who's unfamiliar with Sir Palomides, he's a Muslim knight, referred to in the Medieval Christian tongue as a "Saracen," who vows to convert to Christianity for the sake of marrying Isolde, but curiously hasn't yet. His father, Esclabor, and both of his younger brothers, Segwarides and Safir, have already converted. Palomides is continuously ostracized for his religion/appearance throughout the narrative and considered lesser than Tristan. This is pretty much always the roles they play. Sometimes Palomides is treated with extreme cruelty, such as in the Post-Vulgate, where Galahad forces him to convert to Christianity at sword point, only for Palomides to be murdered shortly afterward by Gawain once his narrative purpose, ie successful conversion, has been fulfilled.

For this break down, I'm ignoring that portrayal of Palomides as well as the Prose Tristan because they suffer from the issues I already outlined regarding Medieval Christian's malicious depiction of non-Christians. And I hate them</3 We'll be turning our attention to Le Morte d'Arthur by Sir Thomas Malory instead as Palomides is slightly more nuanced there. (Very slightly. "The Good Saracen Sir Palomides" is a loaded sentiment, but Malory was a Medieval Englishman imprisoned for his crimes and writing through his madness. We work with what we have.) The copy I linked is translated by Dr. Dorsey Armstrong, not only because it's very good, but because she authored one of the essays I'll be sharing on the subject. She also has a 24 part lecture series on Arthuriana that I highly recommend.

In Le Morte d'Arthur, and the earlier published La Tavola Ritonda as well as Byelorussian Tristan, Palomides is treated a teensy bit better. In most versions of the story, Palomides misses an appointment to duel with Tristan out of cowardice or dishonor. But Malory has written a scenario in which Palomides missed the appointment not out of subservience to Tristan, but because he was jailed elsewhere and couldn't physically make it. He still gets his ass kicked by Tristan, but Malory's change shifts implicational blame of Palomides to circumstantial blame of his situation which serves to create a more sympathetic character. So while Tristan's perception of events remains the same, Palomides is given a narrative excuse which maintains his honor and integrity in the mind of the reader. Yet as Dr. Dorsey Armstrong points out in her essay, Postcolonial Palomides, after Tristan discovers Palomides suffering a bout of grief-induced madness, Palomides's ability to communicate breaks down, and Tristan is unable to understand him. Palomides occupies a space that his fellow "Saracen" knights, such as Priamus of Tuscany, don't. He's Othered by everyone in the narrative yet gains renown among the Christian knights in part because of his extreme desire to join the Round Table, while resisting the necessity to conform to a religious order and community which does not otherwise accept him. Unlike his father and brothers, Palomides seems more aware of, and resistant to, the predatory systems which dictate their conditional acceptance.

Race as a concept did not exist in the Medieval world, rather it was intrinsically tied to religion. That said, colorism was always present. "Saracen" is a term used to refer to Arab people, but according to Hamed Suliman Abuthawabeh, the etymology of the word itself stems from the color brown, ie referential of skin tone. As it relates to fiction... Ever wonder why the Holy Land of the Middle East in Arthurian Legend, where Galahad, Perceval, and Bors seek the grail, is called "Sarras?" Now you know. This concept is not limited to Middle Eastern characters either. Black people in Medieval stories are referred to as "Moorish," ie from the "Moorlands." To that end, ever wonder why Aglovale's half-Black son is named "Morien?" Or how about Parzival's half-Black brother Feirefiz, who's described as having a mixture of "white and black skin," half his father's "fair country Anjou," half his mother's "heathen land Zassamank" with a face two-toned "as a magpie." (Author Wolfram von Eschenbach and translator Jessie Weston's words, not mine).

The fact is non-white, non-Christian characters are often reduced to their skin color, not only in what labels are applied to them as people, but their religions and falsified homelands as well. The cost of a modicum of respect is total assimilation. It's all or nothing for these characters, and even then, it's not a guarantee. Aside from the especially harrowing treatment of Palomides in the Post-Vulgate, this concept appears yet again in the poem The Turk and Sir Gawain, in which Gawain continuously oscillates between foe and friend with an unnamed Turkish knight, only to conclude the story by violently converting this individual through beheading. The Turkish knight is reborn, now Christian, and at last gains a name and identity, Sir Gromer. The expectation put on Pagan knights is so great they must submit to their white comrades and allow them to, literally, kill their former selves to be worthy of personhood in Christendom.

The same can be said of Jewish characters in Arthurian Legend. They're not often the focal point, but they do pop up from time to time. In La Tavola Ritonda, there's Dialantes the Jewish giant, as well as the beautiful Hebrew damsel of Aigua della Spina, who's curiously married to a Christian knight. Then of course there's the rampant antisemitism in Chrétien de Troyes's Perceval, as well as the continuations, which blame "the treacherous Jews" for killing Christ, while also casting Joseph of Arimathea as a Christian knight who brought the Holy Grail to Britain. Furthermore in The History of the Grail portion of the Vulgate, Joe is said to have "converted to the faith of Jesus Christ" while keeping it secret for fear that "the Jews would have killed him." Tons of revisionism happening. The bulk of the Vulgate makes little to no mention of Jewish people, good or bad, as it's mostly tied to the grail story. That said, when it does come up again in The Death of Arthur, it's a slippery slope into every other prejudice, as the term has become synonymous with evil, particularly as it relates to women.

I couldn't possibly outline the entirety of Medieval Christianity's relationship with other religions in a single tumblr post. Here's a link to my huge folder about Race & Religion in the Middle Ages. The essays and books there discuss this subject in a general sense but there's a sub-folder with Arthurian specific essays to learn more about Palomides, Priamus, Gromer, Morien, Feirefiz, and other characters or texts that touch on race/religion.

Despite all of the above, it's not all bad. Sometimes an author was anti-racist toward the non-Christian characters, yet limited by their time. (Think how Herman Melville portrayed Polynesian Queequeg in Moby Dick, positively, but used phrenology to compliment the shape of his skull by comparing him to that of white people. Not up to modern standards, but an attempt at progressive for its time nonetheless.) Looking at Dutch Arthuriana, while Morien's name is an insensitive indication of his unnamed "Moorish" mother, the only characters in the story who treat Morien poorly, such as the boatmen who refuse to ferry him, are openly condemned, even threatened, by the Knights of the Round Table, including Gareth.

I don't know what to call this writing technique, but it's used (and sometimes underutilized...) today. Essentially, as a means to indicate to the reader that the views of the antagonistic (in this case, xenophobic and anti-Black) character isn't shared by the author, they include another character who refutes and combats the negative behavior and who accepts the oppressed party as they are. However rare, it does happen in Medieval texts.

Last but not least, I'd be remiss to omit the Hebrew King Artus from this discussion. It's an incomplete story, but sets out to retell the Arthurian Legend from a Jewish standpoint. All the characters are Jewish and all religious allusions that were once Christian have been rewritten as Jewish. It has a thorough analysis by the translator and tons of footnotes to indicate the Jewish references throughout the text.

Regarding religion in modern Arthuriana like BBC Merlin, Druids aren't actually present in the Legends, with the one and only exception being The Adventure of Melóra and Orlando, which does refer to Merlin as a Druid! There's also the connection made between Merlin and Stonehenge in The History of the King's of Britain by Geoffrey of Monmouth; the word "Druid" is not used, but Merlin describes his own ability to manipulate the stones as "mystical." One has to remember that Druids didn't write down their own history, as it was their way to memorize religious practices and not document anything. All we know about them comes from outside sources, such as Greeks and Romans as well as Christian missionaries come to convert them. As Christianity took hold and figures like Saint Patrick "drove the snakes [Druids] out of Ireland," much of that history was either lost or purposefully maligned. Did the Druids actually participate in human sacrifice? Who knows! Bearing that in mind, we must acknowledge the influence of the several revivals of Druidism and recent boom in Neopaganism; a lot of popular interpretations of Arthurian Legend are just that, the creator's interpretation, and not necessarily indicative of what the historical people would have been doing. To learn more about that, there's Druids: A Very Short Introduction by Barry Cunliffe which I found helpful.

When it comes to Merlin, or Myrddin Wyllt, his character is potentially based on a few different people who really existed, but there isn't a name given to whatever religion they practiced in anything I've read. While the time period did have clearly delineated religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Zoroastrianism (and then Islam), Mithraism, Druidism, etc, there were just as many people who prayed to Jesus Christ while simultaneously leaving out offerings for the local spirits. Most religions come with regional differences, various sects, or shift gradually over time. Saint Patrick himself is said to have had a "fluid identity," as his autobiographical work The Confessions paints him in a fairly positive light as a peaceful missionary, while Dr. Janina Ramirez indicates in her book The Private Life of Saints that other sources characterize Saint Patrick as an aggressor. Some scholars even believe Saint Patrick may have been two different people, combined over the centuries, similarly to Myrddin Wyllt. Modern Arthurian books and shows really lean into a dichotomy between Christianity and the "Old Religion" for the sake of entertainment. But bouts of unrest weren't as fantastical nor made up of two wholly separate, well-defined teams.

Wow this got long. I think we'll leave it at that. I hope that answers your questions! Take care!

[acourtofthought]

how did Lucien's perception of human's change (from ACOTAR to ACSF)? how do you think elain's ignoring of the bond challenges lucien?

Lucien made a few negative comments about humans in book 1 but I think this particular line (where he started) shows just how much growth he's had since:

"I suppose you humans are such hateful cowards that you would have wet yourself, curled up, and wanted to die if you'd known beyond a doubt what Andras truly was."

Not long after that comment, after Feyre saves the Suriel, we have him say this:

"Tam told me that your first shot was to save the Suriel's life. Not your own." / "I know far too many High Fae and lesser faeries who wouldn't have seen it that way - or bothered."

In ACOWAR we have this:

"I gathered that much after you took on Dagdan and walked away from it." / "No," Lucien said quietly as I reached for a foothold in the next boulder. "That was all you." / "You had my back - with them, with Ianthe. Thank you."

The above line, and many others, shows the respect he has for Feyre, a human turned fae. Respect he pays to her even after what went down in Spring.

(not to mention the credit he later gives Vassa for believing in her ability to take out the human queens and for calling the Archeron's father a good man).

And in ACOFAS:

"Jurian..." "Thank the Cauldron for him. I never thought I'd say that, but it's true." "He's keeping everything running. I think he'd have been crowned king by now if it wasn't for Vassa."

This is what I absolutely love about Lucien's character. He can hold strong opinions as he once did about humans, how they're cowards and full of hate, yet it does not take much for him to accept that he was wrong. To see a human prove that she's not a coward and that then changes his entire outlook on other humans. Lucien's interactions with Feyre led him to seeing the bravery in other humans, led to him wanting to help the humans rebuild after the war and to sort out their politics, to him befriending humans. Not only does that show how good he actually is, his willingness to learn from his mistakes, but I think Lucien getting further in touch with his own humanity by choosing to interact with them and learning their ways can only benefit him when it comes to his future with Elain. She was the most attached to her humanity and I think it's important that her endgame person understand that side of her. No matter how fae Elain becomes, I think there will be human things that will remain a forever part of her and I think it's very purposeful that Sarah set Lucien up to be the one to really get it.

As far as Elain ignoring the bond and how that challenges Lucien, I think it's a lesson for him. Jesminda chased him. He's had no problems finding female companionship since her death. Reformed rakes don't typically fall for the female who made things easy, otherwise she's just one of the many. But the one who acted indifferent to him? The one who he had to earn his way into her life rather than winning it because of his good looks and charm? The one who he had to prove he was willing to wait her out for as long as it takes? That is good for Lucien.

I think Lucien is humble overall. He's not overly cocky, he doesn't act like he's more powerful than anyone and he's willing to learn from and apologize for his mistakes. However, he doesn't seem to have ever needed to prove his desire for someone. Again, he's not arrogant regarding his looks / his charm, but he's also had it pretty easy. Yes, Jesminda's death was tragic but finding his way into their relationship doesn't seem to have been all that difficult for him.

The way it's been written, Elain is the first female who is giving him a run for his money and I don't think that's a bad thing for his character. I look forward to Lucien having to try to win the girl, to see what he's capable of when he needs to work for love.

[namelessprayers]

there is a daunting element to the expression of a fool worn on a face that so closely mirrors sua's own. mizi said it herself, from their eyes to their hair, it's like sua and ivan were concocted in the same lab by the same serum under direction of the very same aliens.

of course, it's not true, and hardly any product created in the lab for the purpose of anakt garden comes out exactly the same as the ones before; yet, there's something eerily familiar about them in the way that a reflection is stunningly offset whilst also a perfect encapsulation of the bare minimum reality it seeks to interpret.

it seems ridiculous to admit, but sua understands what mizi means when she first drags ivan into their private conversation with a forceful enthused attempt at making peace, remarking that the two of them share too many features in common to possibly feign ignorance for the remaining span of their limited lives spent in such close proximity.

and well, sua thinks there are worse kids in anakt garden for mizi to get particularly acquainted with. ivan is probably the lesser evil, seeing as he's one of the few others who don't eye mizi in a way sua considers predatory, but mizi and ivan would defend as being purely well intentioned curiosity.

essentially, sua is fine putting up with ivan's presence as long as he doesn't stare at mizi for prolonged periods of time, which is a rule that works wonders as he doesn't do that to anything except what pertains to till. although, sua and ivan's track record of holding discussions without mizi as a buffer is poor, to say the least.

they often toe the line of arguing and debating things. except, sua finds it hard to tell whenever ivan is truly debating for something or simply trying to gage more information regarding her stances.

"a flower crown; what's the point of that?" ivan will ask after watching sua place one she made atop mizi's head. his gaze inscrutable and tone sincere as much as it is condescending, though sua can never tell whether its her own perspective that warps these aspects or if that's merely the strange manner in which ivan conducts himself.

"it's a nice thing. mizi deserves nice things." leaving no room for additional musings, sua prepares to turn and follow where mizi went, uncaring of whether ivan accompanies or not.

"nice things are meaningless though." states ivan, as much a fact as sua's declarations about mizi are. their bluntness is usually a shared similarity sua secretly appreciates between them, but today it feels irksome. "plus, those flowers aren't really flowers. they're just plain deceiving, and there's nothing nice about that."

"is it so bad that i wanted to give her something beautiful, something that might last in memory, even if not literally?" sua bites back, unable to keep the offended anger out of her voice and from flushing red across her face. ivan stays candidly composed as always.

"but it won't last, and it's almost sad how much you try to convince yourself otherwise." he says, in a near pitying sort of lilt that only enrages sua further. "it'd be easier to come to terms with it now, you know, before it's too late."

at a loss of words, sua decides to go. she doesn't turn around to see if ivan's still there, and it's always impossible to sense if he's looking or not. his utter audacity always exceeds her, because she knows he'll be back to hanging out with mizi as if no conversation ever happened. his disconcerting insights of the future will just be like an old tune that slips through sua's memory, coming up every now and then in her idle humming.

it scares sua how easily her and ivan could've ended up switching places. it makes her feel all the more undeserving of mizi's interest.

but when all is said and done, she finds the words of terms and pointlessness coming back in equal application to herself and ivan alike. in the end, sua knows they weren't very different at all, just different levels of honest with themselves and each other.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

I wanna talk about the conversations Padmé had with Sola in the AOTC novel, and they how clearly confirm that Padmé’ first and last love was always just Anakin 🥺 of course we know Anakin felt a deep connection with Padmé the moment she walked into Watto’s junk shop, and has loved her for 10 years, so she’s indefinitely his first and last. But on the flip side, is the truth for Padmé as well.

(Of course, I’m not counting adolescent crushes she had when she was a kid, because that’s not “love.”)

*•..•*.•*•..*•.*

Sola in the AOTC novel has a conversation with Padmé about how she never thinks about settling down and wonder if she’s ever even wanted a family, and clearly Sola thinks the concept is foreign to her sister because she never speaks on such things nor has she ever expressed the desire to want more (despite that we know Padmé does want these things.) because Padmé was always heavily focused with duty rather than getting involved with someone.

Padmé even tries to deny it when Sola insists that settling down with someone is something she needs and wants but finds that she can’t when she’s faced with the reality of it. This clearly indicates Padmé’ mindset all her life, trying to justify to herself that she doesn’t need to settle down and find love, start a family. She tries to convince herself that she’s okay and content with living her life in duty. Having not found anyone to love her whole life, she thinks she’s immune and not needing of matters like this, and yet she still finds it hard to deny the desire when her sister poses the question.

Padmé eventually gives the idea some thought when she’s reunited with Anakin again, because up until now, she’s never in her life before gave into “wanting more”. Her life was always choosing duty and career over her desires. Or to put it more accurately lacking the conviction for that desire because nobody in her life before Anakin could make her.

Padmé even so much as remembers Sola’s words of “finding love” and “settling down” the minute Anakin comes back into her life, admits that she found the idea more tempting than it had ever been. Because now, finally, Padmé truly had found someone to desire and fight for (even if she doesn’t yet realize it yet, because he’s a Jedi, and she’s a Senator.)

After Padmé brings Anakin home to meet her family (something which Sola confirms Padmé had never done before with another boy 😏) Sola pulls her aside to talk about Anakin with Padmé, because she so clearly sees the sparks flying between them. Advising her sister to give the idea some thought, because as Sola says Padmé thinks “being a girlfriend and a Senator, aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Sola confirms that Padmé just needs to “give into her desire” and that she’s always so “tied up in responsibilities”. Never leaving room for “more”.

And the most pivotal part of Sola and Padmé’ conversation about her quickly growing feelings for Anakin, Sola corroborates that whatever Padmé is “feeling” is something “new” to her, she knows her sister has never felt this way about anyone before Anakin, and she knows she’s afraid. Padmé is weary because Anakin is a Jedi, but more importantly Padmé is afraid of her own feelings for Anakin too, because she herself also knows she’s never felt this way for anyone, her whole life was all politics and that’s all Padmé knows and is comfortable with, at this point. Sola then she tries to reassure Padmé that it’s a wonderful thing despite that it’s a new sensation her sister is going through. Padmé at this point even acknowledges that denying what her sister is saying wouldn’t be honest.

This is why Anakin and Padmé’ love was so pure, before they got together, their lives were entirely about duty and responsibility. And as Anakin and Padmé have stated in other SW novels, their lives before each other, belonged to something lesser then their true selves and the people they were before didn’t matter, as it took away from their individualities. After getting together they became two halves of one soul. They’re stronger together. Nobody {before one another} was able to do this for them.

They’re truly each others “one and only”, or “first and last.” 🌟

[velidewrites]

- What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

You probably don’t want to spoil plot points, so tell me each of the VanFam’s worst crimes in their past 🫦

Ooh I love this one — let me answer it with the worst things that, in my mind, they did in the canon acotar verse. I’m going to list a few since they’ve done ah… plenty of terrible things

Vermilion

I’ve mentioned under his recent art, but it would have to be holding Lucien down during Jesmina’s execution. All the brothers played their part in it, for their own reasons, but Vermilion and Eris were the only ones who tried to protect Lucien throughout all of it. It took all of Vermilion’s strength to hold Lucien back — he’d conjured fire ropes, his whip, everything to tie him down to prevent him from lashing out at Beron, a fight Lucien (at the time) had no chance of surviving. Before that incident, Lucien and Ver’s relationship had already been rocky, nothing like what they shared in their early youth, but Ver holding him back was the ultimate betrayal in Lucien’s eyes.

When he was exiled, Lucien told Vermilion he never wishes to see him again, and, if he does, he would kill him without hesitation. Vermilion only smirked and encouraged Lucien to try, even though on the inside it felt like his heart was being ripped apart. In my mind, since then up until where we’re left off in ACOSF, Vermilion periodically checks up on Lucien via his contacts across Prythian — without Lucien ever finding out, of course.

Another horrible in-canon thing: Vermilion was one of the brothers who, together with Eris, had attacked Feyre and Lucien at the frozen lake in ACOWAR. Vermilion had only come along because he hadn’t seen Lucien since UtM, and desperately wanted to make sure he was okay. The other brother was Sylas, who had genuinely hoped to capture both Feyre and Lucien and bring them to Beron (while also secretly hoping Eris would fall through the ice and drown in the lake as a sort of two birds in one stone thing lmao)

** Side note: in that scene in ACOWAR, Feyre and Lucien are described to be trapped by a fiery rope. HI VERMILION

Sylas

Worst crimes? SO many. War crimes in Beron’s name for sure, I can think of so many he could’ve committed during and after the war with Hybern, and in the First War when the Wall went up. Sylas is a soldier, yet, and an extremely skilled warrior, but he doesn’t fight with a soldier’s honor the way, say, Cassian does. Yes, he takes good care of his armies and is loyal to the people, but he fights wars that serve him, and his motives only. Anything to discredit Eris as the heir, to gain Beron’s favor, and to eventually kill them both.

On a sadder note, Sylas led the search for Jesminda when her relationship with Lucien was made known to Beron. He’s the one who’d pursued her through the forest and captured her to bring forward to Beron. While it doesn’t make the crime any better, Sylas did think Jesminda was going to be exiled, not executed. He thought Beron would’ve seen that as the more sensible option to avoid any potential Lesser Faerie uprising in her name. If Sylas were High Lord, it’s what he would’ve done. As for Lucien, he didn’t much care that he was punished and exiled. In Sylas’s eyes, suffering at the hands of Beron is nothing out of the ordinary for any of the brothers.

Marcel

LMFAOOOOO where do I start??

I guess since we’re on the Jesminda topic — after her capture, he used his smoke to incapacitate her, making her suffer horrifying visions of torture, death, Lucien’s death, and everything in between. Beron didn’t order him to do so, and it wasn’t that Marcel particularly wanted to punish her or Lucien. Around that time, he was still perfecting his smoke’s ability to induce hallucinations, so he simply saw it as a good opportunity to practice.

Ask game

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[crazerk]

First of all, I LOOVED the demo, living rent-free in my mind rn! I been craving a concubine MC IF for a while. Love the drama. Thank you so much ♡

Also, feel free to ignore if spoilers. You mentioned we can have heirs. Just wanted to know if we would be able to see/raise the children for a good part of the story, or would the optional heirs show up more towards the ending? :)

Hi! I answered this in forum so I’ll just copy and paste. But the TLDR: you will see and can raise (or neglect!) your children and interact with them throughout the story. Some endings are even dependent on the kind of relationship you have with them.

Your heirs if you choose to have them, will be characters in the story, like any other person you encounter.

You can only ever have three children, two boys and a girl. They will all have distinct personalities, your first son will always be outgoing, your second son always be more studious and your daughter will always be loyal to her family, but with a rebellious streak.

Your actions in their childhood can influence them. For example you can play favorites, support one son over the other and cause a dynastic war. Lots of fun side plots and arcs I’m excited to write about.

More details under the cut!

First Son

Looks wise he takes after his father, almost a spitting image of Kaz. He will be a very lively child, spending most of his time outdoors. If there is a thing that can be climbed he’ll climb it. If there is a thing with a sharp edge or a pointy tip, he’ll master it. He has a natural aptitude for all things martial and will be one of the finest warriors in the empire.

He will be popular and charismatic and with many friends and supporters. Everything a good ruler should be on paper. Yet he is eager to please and easily falls under the influence of others. He scoffs at his more serious lessons, only learned how to read because his father forced him too and his tutors find him very lacking in his academics. He has a disturbingly brutal streak as well, and sense of entitlement.

Yet he is the beloved son of the empire. He desperately needs someone to be proud of him at all times and will go out of his way to please you to get that validation. If his lesser virtues are indulged he may become a monster. However with enough persuasion and discipline he’ll grow into a fine man. Right?

Second Son

Almost a complete opposite to his older brother, your second son will take after you more. While he is tall like his dad, he’s painfully slender with elegant, almost delicate features. He will be beautiful, keeping his hair long and his dressing androgynous. When he was a child he caught a chill he never fully seemed to recover from, and is prone to falling sick. He shutters himself indoors, preferring the company of his books to that of anyone else, except maybe you.

There are many cruel whispers about your younger son. (You can decide whether you want to remove tongues and heads over these.) In comparison to his more accomplished older brother, he seems weaker, duller, less of a king, more of a sickly scholar. Your second son doesn’t seem to mind these rumors. He’ll pick afternoon tea with you over practing his swordsmanship or going on hunts. His tutors worship the ground he walks on, calling him the brightest mind they’ve ever seen while his weapons master is less impressed with his performance, claiming he can’t even hold a sword upright.

There are times when he seems content in his place as the younger or the “lesser” brother and that not many expect him to rule over the more impressive, older heir. Yet you can catch a glimpse of ambition in his eyes from time to time. A gleam of ruthless cunning, like a blade hidden behind his haunting beauty and demure countenance. You can of course nurture that gentleness, and remind him that he is strong where his brother is weak. Or you can sharpen that ruthlessness, for who knows when you’ll need a blade?

Only Daughter

Your daughter would be absolutely spoiled from the moment she’s born, and a delight to everyone around her. People will say she’ll be the amongst the greatest beauties the empire has ever produced as she managed to get the best of both you and Kaz. From a young age she’ll be aware of this, and will use it to her advantage.

She’s precarious, exceedingly intelligent and able to pick up on the subtleties of court even as a child. As she grows into a young woman, she can become a powerful player in her own right. Since her father is basically wrapped around her finger, her influence on him is not to be understated. She’d rather watch sword fights than do embroidery and is often sneaking away from the lessons meant to shape her into the perfect, elegant and refined princess to chase more “masculine” pursuits.

Her tutors praise her brilliance but her mistress complain that she’s too hardheaded and petulant to make a good and docile wife and all their lessons are wasted on her. It’s better if she were married off immediately, perhaps having children of her own can temper her wilder impulses. But you know she’ll burn something to the ground if she were forced to do anything of the sort. She can be extremely stubborn, but not cruel or malicious. At least, you don’t think so.

How you treat them will influence their behavior and actions later on in the story! Choosing a favorite, child neglect, or even turning them against each other will all have their consequences!

[nothanksjohnny]

Im back on my insanity run and I said to myself

"Self?"

"Yeah what's up bbygirl"

" there should be more thoughts of bots being a bit scared of humans"

"That's a great idea"

Anyways here are my thoughts. I've read a lot of different kinds of opinions and site's and kinda just jumbled it all together. Cybertronains have their own diets and while energon is a large portion of it there is some verity. While they can eat and mildy digest human food it's not recommend due to gaining no nutrition due to it being carbon based and them not really needing it in the form earth's vegetation and species give. Of course this still means a curious bot or has tried a human meal. Although this isn't really what drives them off. No rather its how humans catch,prepare and vocally crave other living organisms. It's not a oddity to us to hear someone whine on how there "dying to eat some ribs!" Or are dying "for some grilled salmon and rice." It's something that can lead to conversion and finding common ground. This is not the same for a cybertrioan upon hearing this and learning just where these meats come from they will appear uneasy and in their own way sick. Their plating tight as their optics glance at you before recommending you to eat some fruit or any snacks they've come to have stored away for any of their earthly companions upon a ship or a base. This is just hearing this mind you. Now seeing someone eat is another. Eating something as simple as Jerky will get you stares and one of them going out to purge their tanks. This is just something that doesn't make alot of noise. As someone who eats the cartilage off of chicken bone I can imagine it causes them to rethink their options of how weak humans are. They can't help but clamp their plating and shift uncomfortably as they hear your molars grind at the cartilage and tear and snap as it's forces off the bone. Primus help them if you chew the bone slightly. It's almost as bad as when humans describe how much joy they gain from this " please stop talking how much you enjoy the ribcage from a cows carcas." " come on man I don't judge you when you drink blood." Their one "how to cook steak properly" from screaming on how you eating other living being. Vegans and vegetarians aren't safe either once they learn how plants feel pain in their own form. Did you know under black light a plants chlorophyll appear red? Yeah your getting a side eye as well its not as bad but they still don't want to see you eat around them. Now you may be asking " well if their so uncomfortable with the subject how do some of them eat our food then?" Some ways this can happen is that the bot may be unaware at first and never gave a true thought were those chicken wings come from. Another is maybe they don't care as much. Plenty of them have done dishonorable things what's wrong doing a small one.

Another factor that causes them to wonder just how "harmless" their human companions are is when we do rather primal acts. Have you ever wanted for spook someone or just not be seen? You stalk them to achieve this. Now while we don't do it like our canine or feline companions I belive we still do it in our own way. You tense and for some even hunch yourself over a bit in a attempt to make yourself smaller for a lesser chance of being seen. You take soft yet full steps as you ease your weight on each leg to not cause to much noise. Or maybe you lift your heels off the ground and step with the front of your foot taking strides as you crouch and keep your legs firm on the ground. You keep yours eyes focused and either hold or try and even out soft breaths. You hear every creak and shift until eventually you pounce a yelp cause a smile to curl on your face. Or maybe your trying to catch a fly carefully trying to almost play the insect that your just passing by before you trying to slam a object or your hand on it in hopes of killing it. It's makes any autobot or decepticon shiver as they see it happen. Or maybe they stumbled upon children playing hide and seek ( dont ask me how their big ahh selfs somehow manage to not be seen). They can't help but freeze as they see these smaller pathetic organics go still and listen shifting and holding their limbs tight yet isn't help the trembling causw by the thrill of the chase as they snap their head a certain direction and dig their feet into the ground to start running with a push. To see them giggle and smile aa they creep up on their friends and just like the fly pretend they don't know someone's there until they to pounce " got you!" Is squealed happily and yet all the poor bot can think is " I need off this fragging planet" They can't help but let their processor run wild as they one day notice you doing the same to them. Ratchet at the computer and the others are simply lounging around the base and there you are. Not even half their size but you eyes seem to snap to the poor medic and you grin. Soft steps and your eyes concentrated and they slightly dilate. A smile that shows the tips of your canines as your breath slowly shifts to larger silent intakes of air. The others take notice but they can't help but stare. You can't harm ratchet. You wield no weapon. So why?. Their optics trace you and it's so unusual. It's code for them to know how to deal with situations yet here you are. No training and yet your mind is already making all the hopefully successful changes to catch what your hunting. A primal itch that adores to take the front in now subtle ways in modern society. So they watch. Watch and slowly move their helms to following you as you making your move closer to the medic shifting through the noises of the conversations still playing out. Shifting out of view when the medic moves just slightly. And then when your just a few away from his peds you snap your teeth on the rabbits neck snapping it with the sound of " Hey ratchet whatcha doing?" As his yelp and huffs is intangled with laughter at his misfortune. Your canines presented by pulled back lips as teeth snap and cause a soft dull clank to fill a empty space as you smile at the medic that now has a scowl on his faceplate. Blue optics causing a whirrrr noise as they shift in a mimic as to how any creature on earths eyes do naturally. All as the the others shift and silently keep in mind to always glance behind them hoping they won't have misfortune to be your next rabbit.

[nthspecialll]

We have all seen the edits and drawings of Dutch with "I'm your man" by Mitiski, more specifically with the lyrics "you believe me like a god, I betray you like a man," but it is not just those lyrics that fits Dutch and practically the entirety of the gang.

(Warning I am not a huge Mitiski fan so I will just take the lyrics as they are without any deeper meaning and compare them to red dead to give them a deeper meaning)

While the whole "you believe me like a god" might make it sound like the "me" also sees themselves as a god as well or at least superior to the other party, that is not the case.

"You're an angel, I'm a dog

Or you're a dog and I'm your man."

This part hints at confusion between standing of the two parties. The "I" isn't sure about what their position is with the other party, either the "you" is an angel and themselves a dog, someone lesser, something lesser, or the "I" is a man and the "you" a dog. The "I" never put themselves as something eternal, they never claim to be unworldly or godly, instead they willingly put themselves underneath the "you" and only above them in the same way a man would an animal, a dynamic that while it might hold love also is clear on who is in control.

Dutch and Arthur's dynamic is constantly changing. On one hand, Arthur is a workhorse, the one Dutch sends our for his dirty work, the one Dutch knows he can control and make him do anything, on the other hand we have their family dynamic of Dutch saying that Arthur means more to him than what a son would and acting as if he is the best thing ever.

"You believe me like a god

I'll destroy you like I am."

While the "I" never sees themselves superior, the "you" puts the "I" on a pedestal, making them their god and the "I" takes advantage of that and destroys the "you." This is similar to Dutch and Arthur. Dutch was not a good man ever, while he and the others did do their Robinhood act, they were never good men, they killed, they robbed and they ruined, but Arthur saw Dutch as a god or a father more than a mere mentor and Dutch ruined Arthur for that in the end.

"I'm sorry I'm the one you love

No one will ever love me like you again."

The "I" knows they are bad, they know they are ruining the other and they know that they will never get the loyalty that the "you" gave them again. While this might not seem like Dutch and Arthur, it very much is in the end.

Dutch in the end when Arthur is dying seems angry, frustrated and conflicted, because while he is seeing his son dying, he knows there is something he does not know. While he feels angry that Arthur did what he did, he never did think Arthur was a "betrayer", he thought John was, he thought John was talking to the Pinkertons and had convinced Arthur that Dutch was bad. He felt sad that Arthur was dying because of John and his manipulation and he knows he will never find the loyalty Arthur gave him again from anyone, and he is right, even in 1911, he has yet to find someone like Arthur.

"So when you leave me, I should die

I deserve it, don't I?"

I am of the firm belief that Dutch spent a long while alone after Arthur's death because the newspapers while talking of him, do not mention another gang, only the old one, and in red dead one they speak as if Dutch's gang is fairly new which would also explain why the Agents were suddenly able to locate him, because he became active again.

This could be to lay low, or it could be because he was thinking over what he had done and what had happened, and considering how much Arthur meant to him it wouldnt be strange to say he might have spent some years in self hatred or pity.

"I can feel it gettin' near

Like flashlights comin' down the way

One day you'll figure me out

I'll meet judgment by the hounds."

This is where it gets a bit more tricky because I believe the "you" changes here, where "you" were Arthur before, it can now be seen as John.

In 1911 John is hunting down Javier and Bill, something Dutch no doubt knew and heard about, while he might have hoped to be able to defeat John, he would have known that John would come for him and he would be able to "see him come near" as he kills off the two others. Dutch knows one day John will be his end, one day John will figure him out and he will have to face the consequences of his actions.

"People always gave me love

Others were never to blame after all."

This is quite obvious how it comes to Dutch, they gave Dutch everything, they gave him their lives to lay if he so wish and in the end it was not their fault that the gang split up. No it was not Micah's fault, while Micah did manipulate, he never forced Dutch's hand, even without Micah Dutch would have lost himself down the road, it was in the end Dutch's fault.

"You believe me like a god

I'll betray you like a man."

John loved Dutch, maybe even more than Arthur, after all John is often seen as Dutch's son while Arthur is seen as Hosea's, not just by the fandom but the characters as well. We see characters call John Dutch's golden boy and his pet. It was also Arthur who had to convince John and truly let him see what Dutch was doing, to let him know that the concerns he had were true.

Dutch removed the noose from John's neck when John was twelve, saving him like a miracle, yet Dutch shot at John in the end like he was no one special, just another man to be put in the ground.

[11queensupreme11]

So…kinda depressing ask but Demeter’s recent death kind of had me wondering, especially since you mentioned in an ask once LONG ago—so long ago that’s it’s to the point I can’t even find it anymore 😭—that Poseidon wouldn’t kill his siblings just severely mutilate them.

((I’m assuming u totally ditched that when it came to Demeter’s death—which is totally fine cause either way it flows well with ur story and ur description of Poseidon because if Demeter is permanently dead it checks out because she took something from Poseidon that he would never forgive and he would see that as a betrayal which would, in his mind, justify the killing. And if she is still alive (although I don’t see how that could be possible- how can u stay alive when you’ve been…ripped apart 😭😂😅) but living like Adamas then that’s also possible since she is his sister and he’s spared his siblings before (adamas) after mutilating them of course.))

All that to say, it got me wondering. Could and/or would Poseidon or any of the other yans, if they ever became like SUPER (astronomical levels, really) upset with Percy. Result to…killing her? Could they?

yeah demeter is permanently dead, no coming back at all. no revival, no reincarnation, etc. i'm pretty much going the canon route on how deaths are handled! so in ror, when gods die they go to niflhel! same goes with the human souls in the after life (and by that, i mean, after dying in midgar, if they die again in helheim/valhalla, they go to niflhel)

in the ror wiki:

HOWEVER!!! the only difference is that in my fic, gods don't have souls. instead, they're made of divine essence. so for the sake of my fic, when a god dies, their divine essence is destroyed

so yeah, no coming back for demeter or zagreus 😅

as for ur other question.......

the yans absolutely CAN kill percy. ror characters are ridiculously op in terms of physicality, especially the gods cuz i gave them a huge buff. do you guys recall those brief lines i'd type up throughout previous chapters that are always something like "he gripped her arm so hard had it not been for the Curse of Achilles he would've snapped her bones" and stuff like that? yeah i was being fr, these gods can easily crush her to death on ACCIDENT 💀 it's the whole reason i set the story in-between pjo and hoo so she would still have the achilles curse! they're gods who don't interact with humans, they don't know how to be gentle 😭 even a high five could've ripped her hand off or shatter her lmaooo

as for cú chulainn, he's in the same boat (in terms of physicality). since i'm not going with canon (cuz it was too late for me lol), cú chulainn will be the "human with the strength of a god" kind of demigod, like what heracles was pre-ascension. so since he has the strength of a god, he could ALSO kill percy, HOWEVER. unlike the gods, he knows how to actually be careful so he has a lesser chance of actually killing her. the only issue is his ridiculously op gáe bulg which is canonically stated can't be "dodged nor guarded against". if ra and morrigan weren't fast or strong enough to dodge it, there's no damn way percy can 💀 again, the curse of achilles will save her here AS LONG AS SHE KEEPS HER FRONT FACING TOWARDS THE SPIKES. if she has her back to it..... 💀💀💀💀 but i can't see a scenario where he'll ever be so mad he uses that weapon on her.

also there's his freaky 👹goblin mode👹 thing i forgot to mention, but that hasn't been talked about in the manga yet and so far, from the myths, it just makes him more stronger and uncontrollable. if he were to get angry and get into ríastrad then yes, she'll be in a lot of danger 💀

so yes. the yans absolutely CAN kill her, but they won't ever be angry enough to actually want to murder her (excluding beelie's demonic destrudo ofc). the most likely scenario is that they accidentally kill her in a fit of rage. the gods have a higher chance of doing this, cuz they can literally just obliterate her or smite her without needing to even think that much.