#nobody else has the kind of impact on one another as they do with each other

[skywalkr-nberrie]

I wanna talk about the conversations Padmé had with Sola in the AOTC novel, and they how clearly confirm that Padmé’ first and last love was always just Anakin 🥺 of course we know Anakin felt a deep connection with Padmé the moment she walked into Watto’s junk shop, and has loved her for 10 years, so she’s indefinitely his first and last. But on the flip side, is the truth for Padmé as well.

(Of course, I’m not counting adolescent crushes she had when she was a kid, because that’s not “love.”)

*•..•*.•*•..*•.*

Sola in the AOTC novel has a conversation with Padmé about how she never thinks about settling down and wonder if she’s ever even wanted a family, and clearly Sola thinks the concept is foreign to her sister because she never speaks on such things nor has she ever expressed the desire to want more (despite that we know Padmé does want these things.) because Padmé was always heavily focused with duty rather than getting involved with someone.

Padmé even tries to deny it when Sola insists that settling down with someone is something she needs and wants but finds that she can’t when she’s faced with the reality of it. This clearly indicates Padmé’ mindset all her life, trying to justify to herself that she doesn’t need to settle down and find love, start a family. She tries to convince herself that she’s okay and content with living her life in duty. Having not found anyone to love her whole life, she thinks she’s immune and not needing of matters like this, and yet she still finds it hard to deny the desire when her sister poses the question.

Padmé eventually gives the idea some thought when she’s reunited with Anakin again, because up until now, she’s never in her life before gave into “wanting more”. Her life was always choosing duty and career over her desires. Or to put it more accurately lacking the conviction for that desire because nobody in her life before Anakin could make her.

Padmé even so much as remembers Sola’s words of “finding love” and “settling down” the minute Anakin comes back into her life, admits that she found the idea more tempting than it had ever been. Because now, finally, Padmé truly had found someone to desire and fight for (even if she doesn’t yet realize it yet, because he’s a Jedi, and she’s a Senator.)

After Padmé brings Anakin home to meet her family (something which Sola confirms Padmé had never done before with another boy 😏) Sola pulls her aside to talk about Anakin with Padmé, because she so clearly sees the sparks flying between them. Advising her sister to give the idea some thought, because as Sola says Padmé thinks “being a girlfriend and a Senator, aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Sola confirms that Padmé just needs to “give into her desire” and that she’s always so “tied up in responsibilities”. Never leaving room for “more”.

And the most pivotal part of Sola and Padmé’ conversation about her quickly growing feelings for Anakin, Sola corroborates that whatever Padmé is “feeling” is something “new” to her, she knows her sister has never felt this way about anyone before Anakin, and she knows she’s afraid. Padmé is weary because Anakin is a Jedi, but more importantly Padmé is afraid of her own feelings for Anakin too, because she herself also knows she’s never felt this way for anyone, her whole life was all politics and that’s all Padmé knows and is comfortable with, at this point. Sola then she tries to reassure Padmé that it’s a wonderful thing despite that it’s a new sensation her sister is going through. Padmé at this point even acknowledges that denying what her sister is saying wouldn’t be honest.

This is why Anakin and Padmé’ love was so pure, before they got together, their lives were entirely about duty and responsibility. And as Anakin and Padmé have stated in other SW novels, their lives before each other, belonged to something lesser then their true selves and the people they were before didn’t matter, as it took away from their individualities. After getting together they became two halves of one soul. They’re stronger together. Nobody {before one another} was able to do this for them.

They’re truly each others “one and only”, or “first and last.” 🌟

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 54

First / Previous / Next

Gord's long strides thundered over the deck plates as he made his way up to the Command Deck of Home. Chloe was able to keep up, but a few others struggled, breaking into a trot or even a jog every few meters.

"Do we know who did it?" Gord barked, as he continued walking.

"No, Gord. Nobody has come forward with an admission or claim." Chloe glanced down at a pad as she talked. There were videos of immediately after the impact on Luna. Four massive craters glowed orange red, with text overlaid announcing death tolls. The camera cut to a shot of the former shipyards, debris spreading accelerating away. The announcer was listing off orbitals and stations at risk from the debris. Imperial ships were linking in, attempting to redirect the debris before it could hit anything else.

"Has the Empire stated who they think is to blame?"

"No Gord, not yet. It only happened a day ago though, they're still doing damage control."

"Has Fen said anything?"

"No Gord, the Empress only just returned from annexing her home station. She hasn't made an official comment yet."

On the Command Deck, Gord turned away from the Commander's chair and made his way to the executive meeting room just off to the side. There were already six people sitting, looking worried. Gord sat at the head and Chloe sat next to her.

"Gord! What happened? Was it us?" One of the AIs in the room, a young looking man spoke up, his eyes wide with worry.

Gord shook his head. "I don't think so. Nobody came to me with a request for a mission like that - not that I would ever approve it. We don't know who did it yet."

Another one, a woman with fiery red hair done up in a tight bun was next. "What about images or video of the launch? Do we have anything like that?"

Chloe shook her head. "No. It looks like the impactors each had their own wormhole generator, and they linked into Sol a million kilometers from their target after already being accelerated to 80% C. The targets had less than five seconds to react."

The group was silent. Nobody had realized that the impactors had linked in with no warning.

"T-This is horrible! Who would do such a thing?" An AI at the other end of the table, dressed in a grey suit spoke up. "Was it the Gren? The Xenni?"

Gord shook his head. "I don't think so. This kind of wanton destruction has all the hallmarks of a human attack. There are pockets of humans that resist the Empire, but I did not think any had the means..." Gord stops mid sentence. His eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything.

"What is it Gord? Can you think of someone?" The main in grey raised an eyebrow, curious.

"N-No." Gord quickly looked down at his pad, and flicked to a new page. "Just running things through." He looked back up. "What are we going to do about this?"

The woman in red looked at Gord oddly. "Nothing? As horrific as the attack was, it crippled the Empires war making ability. The most generous estimates are that they won't make another Super Dreadnought for five years. Account for retraining sailors and civilians for construction and it becomes ten years more likely."

Gord's mouth hung open. "You're not seriously considering that we don't do or say anything are you?" He stood up. "How many of you sitting right here were killed by the empire? How many of you were carried in my rucksack for a CENTURY?" Gord roared. The group assembled shrank back. "You all were rebuilt by me and Spyglass. What will the Empire do if they think we had ANYTHING to do with this?"

The silence in the room clanged.

"No. We're going to come out hard. We're going to make an announcement, and we're going to link Home to Sol."

Gasps and murmurs filled the room.

"Gord, are you sure?" Chloe looked up from her pad, worried.

"We must. We have to show the Empire that not only did we not use relativistic impactors, but that we're so horrified at their use that we will come out of hiding to aid the survivors." He looked at the group across the table. "Tell everyone. We're linking Home to Sol in 12 hours." Gord stood up and walked out, Chloe jumping up to chase after him.

They walked for a bit. Home was huge, and sparsely populated. They only had to take a few turns before they were deep in the old, original part of the colony ship. Gord touched a lock and it opened, old relays clicking loudly overhead as the lights came up. It was a running track, 5 lanes wide that seemed to girdle Home. Chloe looked around. "What's this, Gord?"

Gord smiled thinly. "It's part of the gym that was set up for colonists. I like to come here and walk laps when I need a quiet place to think... or a quiet place to talk." He started walking at a deliberate pace on the track. Chloe shrugged to herself and walked alongside him.

Halfway through a lap Gord said "Have we heard from Northern Lights since she and Zherun left?"

Chloe glances down at her pad. "No. Nothing."

"She was at the New Wellington attack." It was not a question.

"Was she?" Chloe looked surprised. "I didn't know she was that old."

Gord nodded."She was. She worked for Parvati then."

"She worked for them? I thought she was just that prototype starliner?"

"Oh sure, that's what everyone says she was. I'm sure she has some very nice cabins too, so that any inspectors who come aboard can see how nicely she's fitted out."

"Gord, you're telling me Northern Lights - Zhe and Fen's friend, who has been on the run from the Empire for more than a Century was a warship?"

"A prototype, purpose built warship. Designed to have the advantages of a Starjumper without the gigantic size."

"Then why did you let her take the ship? We had it here in our holds for decades!"

Gord shrugged. "I dunno. I suppose I thought she had changed. I thought that Fen and Zhe were good for her. Bringing her back to being around people, not always alone, not always on the run." Gord stared straight ahead, not looking at Chloe. "This attack has her written all over it though. She was against the impactor ban. She almost got tried for warcrimes after the destruction of New Wellington."

Chloe clutched the pad to her chest. She wasn't as old as Gord, but she was old enough to remember the war, and the destruction of New Wellington. Hell, she had linked there as soon as word had reached Sol and went to help survivors. It was her second wormhole link ever. In eight hundred years she had never forgotten what she had seen. "I'm going to kill her."

"I'd prefer you didn't, Chloe." Gord smiled sadly. "I'd prefer if you found out if she did carry out the attack, and bring her Home - intact - if she was the one who did it." He sighed again. "Though, I'd bet a gallon of maple syrup she did." Gord stopped right in front of the door to the track. "Take a ship, but go alone. Find her, and bring her home."

"And the K'laxi? Zherun?"

They walked together in silence for a few steps. "I don't care about her. Use your best judgement. But-" Gord held up a finger. "-Northern cannot carry out another attack. Be swift."

Chloe nodded and opened the door. "Coming Gord?"

"No, I'm going to walk a bit more, and then plan for what the hell I'm going to say to the Empire when we link an old lost colony ship into Sol and declare our intentions to help."

[problemnyatic]

mythologizing abuse as this horrible thing that only evil, malicious Abusers do to Innocent Victims is a really, really dangerous way of thinking. You have to recognize that anyone is capable of causing harm, and that it is possible to address it and improve as a person after hurting someone.

This idea that harm is an Evil Act that comes from Bad People, or makes someone a Bad Person is a black and white framing that makes it incredibly difficult to actually address harm, and actually winds up protecting abusers.

Because that's just not how it works. It's not an accurate model of reality. So subscribing to it gives you some dangerous blind spots; you won't be looking for signs of abuse or harm from someone you believe to be a Good Person, and the people around you are very likely to be afraid to actually communicate with you when a line is crossed for fear of being made out to be a Bad Person.

Abuse is something you do, not something you are. It has nothing to do with who the individuals are, it's a description of the impact certain kinds of actions have on someone else. The idea that believing something bad or doing something hurtful defines something intrinsic to the person in question creates an environment where it is impossible to grow or change into someone who no longer does those things or believes those ideas; you've condemned that person as someone Inherently Bad, what's the point of trying to improve if nobody will give them the benefit of the doubt?

And, more to the point of what I want to get across here, thinking like this is unbelievably stressful. It puts you on constant eggshells forever - cross the wrong line, and you mark yourself as A Bad Person, someone deserving of punishment, vitriol, rejection, every and any hostility one might see fit to throw at you. It's fucking terrifying, you wind up believing that any mistake could be your undoing, that you have to do no wrong, have to convince others that you've done no wrong, that you're a Good Person, not someone who hurts others.

But that's the thing. Nobody's perfect, it's impossible to be. You can't know everything before it happens, you'll never have all the context for something before having to make a decision. Inevitably, you will cross a line, violate a boundary, realize something you were taught about the world is actually bigotry, and that you never questioned it until now. And you will have to reconcile with that. You need to be prepared to face that reality, again and again, at any moment, for the rest of your life.

Far more often than anyone wants to admit, abuse isn't a product of malice or hatred, it's a byproduct of someone well-intentioned who for one reason or another has a mental block keeping them from prioritizing someone else's needs and wellbeing as necessary. They behave in ways that hurt and shut down their victim because they can't wrap their head around the fact that that's what's going on, that they're hurting someone. Or if they do, they don't believe that there's a way to avoid it, or fix it, or change.

The mythologized model of the Evil Abuser who hurts the Innocent Victim because they're a Bad Person is more likely to create that exact kind of mental block than it is to protect anyone from harm. It makes every mistake the end, a personal apocalypse that collapses the situation around your feelings rather than addressing the harm done. It's dangerous.

Let go of the idea of Good People and Bad People. We're all just people, and we're gonna hurt each other sometimes. It doesn't need to be anything more than that. You can apologize, and try to change. You can be imperfect and still worth loving. If someone asserts otherwise, that says more about them than it does about you.

[predakings-den]

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

Word count: [1656]

Content Warning: [Sparkling deaths, grief, mourning]

He didn’t know…

Primus, how could he have known?

He emerges from the ground bridge, processor lagged from the unusual traveling method. Immediately, he perks up and for a moment, he couldn’t believe his own optics. It couldn’t be, but Shockwave is releasing the amniotic fluids from the containment chambers! It spills all over the laboratory floor in the hopes of ridding the evidence of the now declared failure of “Project Predacon”.

He stands tall, staring with wide optics at the sight of the Decepticon in the process of destroying everything in such a careless manner. “S-Shockwave… What are you doing!? It’s not time! It can’t be! You said-“

Another ground bridge opens in the distance. He charges at the Decepticon scientist, demanding an explanation for his actions but he runs, fleeing towards the active ground bridge. A swipe of his sharp claws but he misses and the Decepticon disappear. “Shockwave!” His vocalizer snaps. “No, what are you doing? Focus!” There’s even bigger issues to worry over as the fire spreads. With the chamber units decommissioned, the Predacon pups start to awaken.

He couldn’t save all the little ones. There are too many, so little time as he breaks through the glass of the chamber units, for some were too disoriented or weak to do so on their own. He couldn’t afford to be slow and careful as he pulled them out with his claws. They squirm and shriek, scared and unknowing of what’s going on.

There is nobody to blame but himself as he hears their cries, the flames reaching the crates of synthetic energon. There was nothing else to do but grab who he could and tuck himself into a corner as the cavern laboratory exploded, shaking the earth, and silencing the voices that were crying out for him.

Predaking didn’t want to look as the earth settled, but he could imagine it. Mangled corpses of Predacon pups. Dead. Gone. Another attempt to exterminate his people as Cybertronians did eons ago.

He has never felt so drained, weakened and vulnerable, and yet unharmed… His chest plating rumbles deeply with mourn and yet anger so easily replaces the need to grieve as the two Autobots, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack stand in defensive action.

“What have you done to my brethren! What have you done!?” His rage bursts, and his self-control is thrown away as he charges the Autobots, his massive frame barreling towards them with primal fury. Ultra Magnus hefted the golden Solus Hammer, its weight balanced in his servos as he prepared to meet the Predacon head-on.

With a thunderous clash, Predaking swung his claws at Ultra Magnus, the force of his blow sending shockwaves rippling through the air. Magnus braced himself, bringing down his hammer with all the strength of a Wrecker Commander. The impact reverberated through Predaking's frame, but he refused to relent, snarling and swiping at his adversaries with determination.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack danced agilely around Predaking's attacks. With a flick of his wrist, he unleashed his electrical whip, crackling with energy as it lashed out towards Predaking's vulnerable joints. But the Predacon's instincts were sharp, and he twisted away just in time, his claws grazing Wheeljack's armor as he countered with a powerful swipe.

The cavern echoed with the clang of metal on metal, the whir of servos, and the roar of engines as Predaking fought with all the fury of his kind. But Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack were seasoned warriors, and they met his onslaught with skill and determination, each blow calculated to weaken and disarm their formidable foe.

Yet Predaking fought on, driven by a primal need to protect his kin and avenge his fallen. With every strike, he pushed himself beyond his limits, tapping into reserves of strength and rage he never knew he possessed.

As Predaking fought with all his might, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack began to gain the upper hand. Despite his ferocity, Predaking found himself outmaneuvered and overwhelmed by their combined assault. Ultra Magnus's giant hammer crashed down on Predaking's armor, sending him staggering back, while Wheeljack's electrical whip crackled around him, sapping his strength.

In a desperate bid to turn the tide, Predaking lunged at Ultra Magnus, intent on taking down the Autobot Commander. Suddenly, amidst the chaos, a cry pierced the air, the plaintive wail of a Predacon sparkling, calling out in fear and desperation. Predaking's optics flickered with alarm as he caught sight of the small figure darting dangerously close to the fray, as if to protect the larger Predacon with her tiny claws and squeaky chirps.

At that moment, something primal stirred within Predaking, a protective instinct that transcended his own pain and fury. With a roar, he threw himself between the sparkling and Ultra Magnus, shielding the young one from harm as he braced himself for another onslaught.

But in his weakened state, Predaking was vulnerable, and the hammer struck true, its impact rippling through Predaking's frame. With a roar of agony, he collapsed to the ground, his systems flickering as he fought to remain conscious. Meanwhile, Ultra Magnus recoiled in horror, realizing the danger he had unwittingly posed to the innocent Predacon.

The Predacon pup, as brave as she tried to be, whimpers and nudges her helm against Predaking’s.

Predaking lifts himself, joints groaning in protest, and his system warnings blaring. Still, he has enough sense to rise to his pedes upon seeing Optimus, who had arrived to the sudden conflict. His blaster is out, but nobody moves an inch.

The large Predacon did not have any time to continue fighting, when it’s much too dangerous and his injuries could end up severe. He transforms back and slinks to the huddle of trembling pups. Gently, he opens his mouth and carries them in his maw as a mother would to her little ones.

Without words, Optimus allows Predaking to escape, watching stoically as the draconic being soars into the open skies.

Landscapes of desert mountains and rocks shift into a forestry background. Predaking lowers himself towards a small clearing near a lake. His chest rumbles in a painful warble as he bows his helm and opens his mouth, permitting the little ones to squirm and crawl out onto the grass.

He quietly counts, and claws at the ground in anger. Not even half, Predaking saved… He refused to wallow in his own grief, not when his warmth and protection was needed right now.

He has received no communication with the Nemesis, radio silent. Nothing felt just, dragging his weary paws to check their condition. Spark aching, the Predacon lowers his helm and starts prodding them with his snout. They are in unfamiliar surroundings and desire guidance that he wasn’t equipped to give them. Cold, hungry, and chirping in fear.

What was he to do, losing everything and protecting what was left after the Decepticons discarded him with such ease.

Back amongst the Autobots, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack get treated for their injuries. The Autobots gather in the medical bay as Ultra Magnus reports what had happened deep in the caverns. It becomes clear that Optimus’s decisions are being called to question.

“Prime, sir. You saw what was in the caverns. They weren’t grown Predacons, weapons for Megatron to exploit, but pups… sparklings…” It had been far too long since he had heard one chirp before. Ultra Magnus steels his regret, but everyone else seems to share his grievances. They haven’t had the presence of a youngling since Bumblebee, who was born in the battlefield, due to the dormancy of the Well.

“How many?” Optimus asks tenderly.

“Sir, would it have been any different if they were adults-”

The Wrecker Commander interrupts, “14, and the 10 under Predaking’s care.” Ultra Magnus was always very meticulous about details, and yet he did not discern that the Predacons inside the chamber units were hardly younglings, due to their large plating and curled up forms.

“We can’t just have Predaking out on the loose! There are human civilians to think about here, Prime.” Arcee couldn’t fathom as to why Optimus had decided to do nothing and look the other way when Predaking flew to Primus knows where.

“And the pups? What, you want us to finish the job and blow their sparks to scrap, Arcee? Why don’t you do it then, since you’re so keen?” Wheeljack snaps at her with sarcasm, shoving one of his explosives in her arms. She knew nothing of what he had seen. They acted as any little Cybertronian would, not marred by war or harsh ideals.

Her optics narrows. “All I’m saying is that we can’t afford to be naive. They are not ‘pups’ or ‘sparklings’ but destructive creatures that will end up hurting others.”

Ratchet steps in between the two bickering bots. “This isn’t about assigning any sort of blame. It’s about finding a solution. Optimus had a difficult decision to make, but there could be a way to salvage it.”

Wheeljack, voice heavy with tension, clenches his servos into fists. “Then what’s the plan? We can’t just sit here twiddling our thumbs while Predaking and those sparklings are out there. Ultra Magnus and I fought him, and he wasn’t exactly all cheery about making peace. In fact, he only stopped when that sparkling ran straight towards the fight.”

“Look, I get it. Predacons are no joke, but I’m all for whatever Optimus believes is the right thing to do. He’s never tried to steer us wrong, and I’ve always trusted him to keep our morals from straying.” Bulkhead crosses his massive arms over his broad chest plating.

Bumblebee conveys his agreement through a series of beeps and nods. He trusted Optimus implicitly, as he always had.

Silence falls over the medical bay as the gravity of the situation sinks in. Nobody wanted to step over Optimus’s leadership, but what else can be done when the first sparklings seen since the dormancy of the Well are involved?

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm trans nonbinary and I really kind of hate myself for it and feel like such a fucking freak and I don't even know why because I didn't even grow up around a lot of homophobia or anything. I let everyone assume I'm a (trans) man because in my head if someone found out I was nonbinary they would just think I'm so fucking wierd, even when I'm in spaces or with people I know for a fact wouldn't actually think any of that. I don't feel this way about anyone else, just me. I'm really sorry if this is too much of a vent kind of thing I totally get you deleting it or whatever, but any advice you have would be really great.

I want to preface this by emphatically saying: Nobody here (least of all myself!) are judging you. I am sure many trans people who are following this blog know how you feel intimately. It's a consequence of the world we live in, not an intrinsic failure of character. I want to make this clear because you were incredibly vulnerable and I don't want you to worry that your vulnerability is a bad thing. It takes a lot to open up like this, no matter if you're on anon or not.

I've talked about this before, but this is a process that takes... a long time to work through, if I'm honest. I've been out since I was a young teenager, and now as an adult I still fall into the trappings of feeling similarly to you. What helped for me is to generally avoid judging myself for when I do feel like this. I think trying to outright ignore how you feel is very inefficient - I have tended to be a person who needs to feel those awful feelings so that I can look back and notice exactly what went wrong. I wouldn't specifically recommend that you do this - I have had many years of combating internalized transphobia to feel this is effective for myself. But, regardless of where you are in your journey of internal acceptance, I will advise this: don't judge yourself for these feelings. It is easy to do, but you don't deserve to have even more feelings of shame, isolation, or overall feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.

Often, we won't know exactly "why" we feel these feelings of internalized transphobia. For me, I also didn't grow up with outright homophobia, but I did grow up with the idea that I would only be loved if I was cishet, so when I discovered I was neither, it was jarring. I thought I would never be loved. And years later, I became open to the idea that I might have been wrong because there were people along the way - friends, certain family, strangers, even - who showed the love I felt I surrendered when I realized who and what I was.

It has helped me to expose myself to other trans people, as well. It's a delicate balance, at times, because there are moments where I find myself growing envious of another trans person for the way I perceive their own transition. It's a natural response, I guess, a natural human response that is amplified when you are part of a group that is often maligned. But I have found that the pros outweigh the cons: I see trans people of all identities now, trans people who look like me, who have incredibly similar experiences, who taught me so much about what it actually means to love and be loved. It's funny, because I'm largely a trans man (with caveats), yet some of the people who have deeply impacted me forever weren't always the same as I am (in fact, one of the first true "I look up to this person" experiences was from a trans woman who I still to this day admire and look up to).

I'm not going to lie, this (how you're feeling) is an incredibly common, but sometimes devastating result of so many factors. While we all go about these feelings in different ways, it can be hard. Therefore, it's important that we support each other. I want to offer my support to you, and let you know that you aren't going to be looked at by others in the way you might fear. It's hard to even conceptualize, honestly, but I am being honest. I understand that some of what I might have said won't resonate with you now, or ever, and that's okay. When we have a community to talk about ideas as a way of support, we can start to have more resources that we might be able to utilize effectively.

Your vulnerability right now isn't going unnoticed. It took a lot to express this, and I hope you might read this and feel even slightly better. I wish nothing but good things for you, nothing but bountiful joy and understanding that you deserve so much from this world.

[stonecrusherdrawsthearts]

World of Heroes R - X-Force

Ohaiyo, Dudes, Dudettes, and Genders that don't identify with Dude! The name's Deadpool, and this is X-Force. We're a group of highly trained mercenaries dedicated to getting the job done by any means necessary. Don't be surprised if the situation gets crazy, because that's where we get shit done!

MEMBERS

Deadpool - The team leader and the Merc with the Mouth! I used to be just another troublemaker on the street until I got my cancer diagnosis, and my dear old brother Slade (or are we calling him Deathstroke here) chipped in to give me an experimental treatment. The treatment didn't just make it so I could survive the cancer or whatever else life threw my way (mostly knives and guns) but it opened my mind to the secrets of the universe. And I'll admit, I got a little... nutty as a result. But hey, these guys trust me enough!

Domino - One of the first to join X-Force, a girl with a bit of vitilago going on that is extremely lucky. While I personally don't believe in luck as a superpower or even a concept, she does have a habit of surviving the odds with barely a scratch, and things do tend to work out her way. So maybe... yeah, no, Luck's a myth made by society to cope with the fact that sometimes you screw up.

Wolverine - Okay, I can explain. This guy ISN'T the same Wolverine that works with the X-Men, but rather a transdimensional duplicate brought here from a universe where the missions of the X-Men didn't have quite the positive impact they did here. He's been through some shit as a result, but the fact that he's here means he has a chance to remake a name for himself. Of course there is the complication that there are now two Wolverines running around, but hey. At least this one doesn't have to worry about taxes.

Shatterstar - Another of the first to join X-Force, Shatterstar claims to have come from an alien world and was one of its greatest warriors. Personally, I think this guy heard about the Kryptonians or Tamaraneans and decided to ape their choices to stand out. No judgement, just... what kind of a name is "Mojoworld"?

Colossus - Technically an X-Man I had regular encounters with, Colossus and I have become friends through the classic method of "we fight each other enough that we just kinda stumbled into a casual relationship." Sure, you look at the guy, you see a big hulking mass of metal in the shape of a man, and think "Oh, this guy must be brutal." And he is, but he often tries to excuse his own shortcomings by going on about what makes people heroes.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead - The one X-Man I can say is cooler than Wolverine on name brand alone. Sure, it's attached to a college student who never quite grew out of her emo punk-rock phase, but her energy manipulation powers make it fit like nobody's business. Y'gotta respect a girl who fits her brand no matter how little she respects you back.

Yukio - Negasonic's girlfriend, electrokinetic extraordinaire, and all-around sweetheart. I think she's probably the most chill person I have ever met, always facing everything, even my bullshit, with a smile on her face and a pep in her step. She's the kind of girl I know I'll always appreciate on my side, even if she dresses like a substitute soul reaper on the mission. Wolverine's a little more cautious of her for some reason, but I don't wanna pry.

[acti-veg]

Every time I see nonvegans calling us racist and saying we value non human animals over humans and talking about how indigenous people are often in situations where they need to hunt to survive (despite most of the people making this argument not being indigenous themselves), I think about this video we watched in my freshwater ecology class in uni that talked about the impacts of animal agriculture on freshwater systems and the disproportionate impacts it has on indigenous communities. This video had real indigenous people talking about the real life impacts nearby animal farms have on them and their community. In it they talked about how they feared for their health, how they were seeing how the pollution animal ag. caused deteriorated their quality of life, how they would beg the farmers to not spread their animals waste on certain days and how they would catch the farmers doing so purposefully on those days.

It just makes me feel so sick seeing this primarily nonindigenous audience so self assuredly talk over indigenous voices about their own issues and pat themselves on the backs while doing things that actively support and contribute to the issue. I'm white and I would never dream of trying to have a voice in the vegan debate in indigenous spaces because it's just not my place, and yet nonvegans feel so entitled to do so and think they are fighting against racism in bulldozing over actual indigenous people.

So many of these people talk about indigenous culture and lives in such an abstract way too. It reminds me of how health teachers in schools talk about LGBT+ people. Talking about them like their existence is theoretical and purely for the sake of discussion rather than a group of real living people. It's just so dehumanizing. And yet we are the ones who don't care. Literally all I want in life is for people to care about one another and for everyone do try and do their best to live in a way that is kind to others and minimalizes harm to all living things. But the people calling that wish racist won't do the bare minimum and listen to the people saying that this industry is actively hurting them.

The really important thing to avoid getting really angry over stuff like this is to remember that it's actually just an elaborate show for them. Nobody who has done even a cursory amount of research into the biggest threats to indigenous communities would be defending animal agriculture and blaming it on vegans; its all just a performative sham.

What it comes down to is the fact that they can't deal with our argument so they try to make us somehow Problematic so that they can cloak their discomfort in the language of social justice. It's the most banal and predictable response that it's not even worth getting annoyed over. They don't actually care about indigenous people, or quinoa farmers, or whatever else is their talking point of the week; they're just playing dress-up.

The indigenous people, the farmers, the 'children picking our crops' are not real people to them, they're just pawns. Sometimes they are literally made up, as happened with the quinoa argument, which somehow evolved from a clickbait article about Peruvian farmers being priced out due to western demand, to quinoa being picked by child slaves - which was never even the claim of the original (now widely debunked) article. They actually, frequently make up slaves to get mad over rather than discussing recognising any of the real victims of animal agriculture. That is the level of cognitive disonance that we are dealing with.

This performance is mostly directed at themselves and each other, rather than us, because what we advocate for presents a challenge to their identity as good people, as social justice advocates, as leftists, as animal lovers. It's why we see so much applause for bizarre and blatantly untrue claims circulated here every week, and so much aggression over seemingly obvious, basic facts when presented by vegans. If you can understand that it is just for show then you can put it in the proper context and find it pitiable rather than infuriating.

[mochiwrites]

I don't think I quite have all the words I want to say- But my goodness if this is gonna be long.

Your writing is gorgeous. And you can take all the time you need on it if it means you can be proud of it and enjoy it as much as I do. When I read Songbird, the characterization was genuinely on point and made complete sense for all of them. I love their unique ways of going about things and how anything they do can be led back to the concept of cause and effect. Idk, I like how despite all the traumas they experience, all the fear, all the blackmail, and wondering if tomorrow will even exist, the one constant they can look forward to is each other. They're hurt, lonely, confused. But they can hold each other's hands and tell the other it'll be okay. (ALBEIT THE RECENT CHAPTER HAS GOT ME IN SHAMBLES THANKS A LOT???) I genuinely love the way you write them all. Grian has got his iconic sass and is always on the go, moving around. He's curious. So curious that it leads him to find people he wants to protect. He wants to do something. He wants validation and to know he's doing things right. He's only human, but since when did that stop him from playing a game way beyond his understanding? Mumbo is lonely and filled with his past mistakes. He pushes away until he realizes he can't anymore. And he lets the light in. The only light he can look at. He grows attached. He's easily flustered, gets snarky, and gets surprised, he's painfully human despite how much he says he's a monster. And I think that's what has gotta hurt about the most recent update. The only humanity he could look forward to, not his own, but another- Possibly gone.

Scar's development is so interesting. He's perfect in every way. He knows what he's doing and doesn't hesitate to do it. Until he does. And just like Mumbo he's grasping for that light to hold onto, but in turn, he crushes it in his palm, only feeling the warm memory of what it was like to be looked at as himself and not a monster. I find your play on words so incredibly fascinating. Fae have such a connection to identity. Scar identifies with a word Grian refuses to call him. Something he was consistently called by so many people until he got a gentle look of determination and care that shattered down his walls. That made him feel with his non-existent "soft human heart". Being taught that identity is what you make of it, and it's up to you and nobody else to decide what you are. But he can't go through with it. Because it's not his choice.

RAAA!!!! I'm so sorry for the long message but I'm such a sucker for your writing and I will probably write more in your dms soon if you're okay with it. But seriously, your writing has got my brain ticking around the clock. Every second of waiting is worth it if you can hold your story in your hands and tell yourself, "I'm proud of this." Because you should be. (Plus, it gives me more time to plan art pieces BNFJBN)

WAILS AND SOBS AT YOU???? REALLY LOUD????

uwahhhhh thank you sm 🥺💕💕 everyone's characterization is something I keep in mind all the time, with every action or thought they may have and ueueueue I'm glad they feel true to their characters. there's just something about like... experiencing so much bad and evil together, but knowing with certainty that the people around you will be there at the end of the day.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM,,, WAILS. grian and his stubborn curiosity but determination to protect and help. yet he's still so pesky and sassy and the impact he has on mumbo and scar is so important. so so so incredibly important. I genuinely don't think the songbird story would hit the same way if he wasn't human.

and mumbo ;-; he has such a kind heart but he's filled with guilt and regret that he pushes people away. and the thing that gets me with him is like,,, he tries so hard to squash that innate kindness, yet he can't help but give that kindness out anyways. and that's so painfully human??? I love sb!mumbo a lot, sad little vampire man.

theN THERE'S SCAR. SCAR WHO I WANT TO SHAKE AROUND SOOOOO AFFECTIONATELY I PROMMY. he's a character that is SO incredibly interesting to me both to study and write and I love how he's developing in the story. we're finally approaching the point in the story where we really see the goodtimeswithscar that we all know and love, and I'm so jittery about revealing his backstory. scar's connection to his identity is so... AUGH. AUGH. I love him ( even while he's making terrible mistakes rn <3 )

but,,, sobbing so incredibly loud at you 🥹💕💕 songbird is very precious to me and I am so proud of it. so incredibly proud of it. long message is 100% welcome, and please!!! feel free to wiggle on into dms :D (and sobs??? plan art??? soBS????)

[muthaz-rapapa]

[Theory] Kaito's Desired Endgame

Actually, this is more of breakdown of why I don't think the common (?) theory of him aiming to switch Akiho and Sakura's lives is true.

It just bugged me a lot and I need to sort these thoughts out of system. Because if Kaito does want the girls to switch places, then that would count as malicious intent on his part (cuz doing so would harm Sakura which is like the biggest tabooboo in CCS land). And that doesn't align with what I see in the portrayal of his character so far.

Yea, he may be sneaky but there has been nothing to suggest that Kaito is a cruel or evil person. Far from it.

So I'm going to attempt to prove the "switch lives" theory wrong and come up with a possible new one at what his real goal might be. (others may have thought some of this up already but I've been out of the loop on CC as a whole to mentally recover so...just please give me space, thanks)

Remaining chapters

Let's start with the technical stuff first.

CC will end with vol 14 and right now we are currently at 69 chapters with ch 70 to be released at the end of January (so within a few days).

Usually a volume has 5-6 chapters with each one being about an average of 30 pages long. If so, the story should end with ch 70 or 71, right? Since vol 13 ended with ch 65 so ch 66-69, which are already out, fills up 4 chapters of vol 14 already.

Well, final manga volumes can be thicker than the regular volume by having more pages in the final chapter(s).

This happened with Pandora Hearts (the only other manga I have on hand that I can use as reference for this matter). Its final Japanese volume (24) had 70 more pages than the previous vol 23 and the final chapter alone totaled around 100 pages. See below photo for comparison:

Yea, so at the very least I think we might get 1 or 2 more extended chapters after 70 to wrap everything in the story up properly. 3 chapters maximum if we're really pushing it.

It can't be 5 chapters because then the story would end end at vol 15, not 14.

Right? Right. Ok, next.

EDIT: I stand corrected because ANN announced in an article last year (?) it would end at vol 14 but apparently, there was a mistake and now it'll end at vol 15. So yea, there's 5 more chapters of story after ch 70!

2) The possibility of a "simulation" or a dream-like scenario where the two "Alice"s experience switched lives.

Kind of something similar to the final judgement in the first arc where Sakura faced off against Yue before becoming the master of the former Clow Cards. The part where she went unconscious and saw a world where everybody forgot who they loved most?

Yea, that's exclusive to the anime series. It didn't occur in the original manga where Sakura stayed conscious, fended Yue off and won a lot faster.

If such a thing were to be added to CC's finale, you're going to need at least 3 out of the 6 chapters left for the desired...emotional impact. But even so, when we've spent a whole two volumes in the fantasy world of Clockland already, adding another layer to this "dream" the characters are already in...it's kinda superfluous and tiring, to be honest.

Not to mention, you need pages to wrap up other things as well. Like addressing Sakura's control over her growing powers? How are they gonna close that out? What about the European magicians? Will we know what they'll do once they learned Akiho isn't the artifact anymore? So many things to do before ch 75.

Creating and diving into another reality adds a whole other problem to the pile and frankly, even with the Exchange card, I don't believe there's even enough magic to be able to pull off such feat either.

But more on that later because there's something else that I must address before that.

3) Clues aren't direct and premonitions aren't exact.

There seems to be some collective perception that Momo's hint for Sakura back in ch 50-51 is suggesting Kaito intends to have Sakura replaced with Akiho and that's why nobody recognizes Sakura when she runs around frantically asking everyone what's going on.

Bzzt. Wrong.

The hint was not that she was going to be forced to switch lives (because if that were true, where was Akiho then?) but rather, Sakura was going to be thrown into the world of the story of Alice in Clockland. In other words, Momo's book.

Notice how all the houses and trees and stuff resemble props within a play? And how the school play eventually ended up connecting with the story in the book.

Yea, the hint was telling everyone that the finale will take place in a fictional setting.

As for why none of her family and friends recognized her in Momo's simulation, the opposite actually happened when Sakura became "Alice" after entering the book.

In the hint, Sakura remembers everyone but nobody knows who she is.

In the book, Alice!Sakura doesn't remember who she herself is but all the Clear Cards that took on the image of her loved ones (and therefore, are representing her loved ones) do.

In other words, the hint was meant to throw everyone off of what to expect while still giving us a clue of what will occur in later chapters. (side note: this also sorta brings to mind a line that Alice in the AiW books said: "Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't.")

And the meaning behind the hint became clear quite recently to me too.

Sakura was able to break the spell on her and recall her true identity by remembering the bonds she has with the people important to her. This effectively indicates that the memories we have with others are a large part of what defines who we are.

That if we don't lose sight of our connections with those dear to us, we won't lose sight of ourselves either.

Just like how Akiho recalled much faster about who she herself is by remembering never forgetting her feelings for Kaito.

Next, the premonitions.

Keep in mind that while Sakura's dreams fortell the future, they are also a product of her mind trying to sort things out while she's sleeping.

The things we couldn't readily process while awake (like confusion, shock, etc) would often be set aside in our unconsciousness to be dealt with later. Notably during the time we're not awake.

And I believe that the brain would try process those things to the best of its ability...but it can only do so with the information it already has available on hand. So anything you're not aware of or don't know yet, something else will be used as placeholder instead.

For example, the cloaked figure that Sakura pulled the hood off to reveal (a soulless-eyed) Syaoran underneath. That actually foretold that she will confront the Dreaming Card and an imposter Syaoran (aka Kaito in disguise) in Momo's book.

When she was still dreaming of MCF (sp?), she wasn't aware of Kaito's true identity as a magician yet so she kept seeing Syaoran in the cloak who always wore an expressionless face that she couldn't decipher. Because she didn't know that person was going to be Kaito.

But after she learned Kaito could use magic in ch 54, she no longer saw MCF!Syaoran in her dreams anymore.

Additionally, the Akiho who Sakura saw in her dreams turned out to be different than what's happening now.

In her dreams, Akiho is not conscious and always wearing her ritual dress with a vacant expression on her face. Like an empty doll.

But in the book, Akiho is awake despite the fact that her memory was temporarily subdued and she is wearing a noticeably different outfit. The dress of the Red Queen.

Her expressions are solemn but her eyes are very much alive in contrast to the Akiho in the dreams.

As for the serpentine winged dragon, no one smart should've expected it could represent anyone else other than Kaito.

On the corner of Kaito's robes as well as the back, there is the symbol of the dragon.

But as Sakura didn't suspect Kaito of anything yet at the time when she started having these dreams, her mind used the image of a dragon to clue her in on who she will be confronting later on.

However, it should be noted that none of what Sakura saw in the dreams suggests that she will switch lives with Akiho.

It only foretold that she will meet and confront these figures (the imposter Syaoran/Kaito in disguise, Akiho, the Dreaming Card and the dragon/Kaito as his real self) within the book.

And that future she saw already came to be as of these past two volumes.

4) The creation of the Exchange card

It should be pretty obvious by now that the whole synchro plan was for the sake of creating the circumstances needed to establish the foundations of this card.

Through Akiho and Sakura sharing feelings and bits of memories across their joint dreams, the idea of a "trade" has been incepted into Sakura's mind early on so that she will eventually create a card that can function as a link, a channel, for an exchange to be possible on immediate demand.

Throwing her into the book and making her "Alice" was just the final push to materialize the card into existence. Because the cards are born from Sakura's inner emotions, the events that led up to this point were meant to foster a certain feeling within her for that purpose.

As "Alice", the heroine, she was faced with the dilemma of the Red Queen's loneliness and inability to leave Clockland. That is what developed a wish in her to save the Queen (Akiho).

A desire to help Akiho by saying "I should've taken your place".

With that desire, a new card is born.

My prediction was correct (partially). Kaito was betting on this with the combination of his two plans (the synchro + the story of Clockland). He wanted to utilize the heroine's tendency towards altruism to bring about the card he needed.

As long as Sakura wanted to save Akiho, she would be able to birth the card needed for such a task.

However, none of that necessarily means he intends to use it to switch their lives. The only definitive thing out of this was that he wanted a specific card from Sakura all along...which is also what he's been saying all along, too.

How he intends to use the card may not be what everyone is expecting.

5) Conditions that need to be met + conflicts that may arise in using Exchange.

There are several things we need to ask before we come to any conclusions, chiefly among them the following:

Who can use the Exchange card? (read: is likely to use it in the current scenario)

And do the conditions differ depending on the person using it? Along with what their respective wish is?

First off, let's remember that the four central characters are all within a rather ambiguous space at the moment.

While the Clear Cards are there in the book and were created by Sakura, she was told that not all of them would not outright obey her commands. Or at least, they are following her subconscious will rather than her conscious one.

For example, when Sakura was fighting off the Dreaming card, trying to escape the book with Akiho, only to realize she didn't truly leave the book and what she saw was only a dream. Her attempt to leave was an illusion...a dream that she wished for as clarified by Kaito after it broke.

In other words, it can be interpreted that what Sakura truly wanted deep down was to believe that everything happening around her was not real. That it was a dream.

We should also note that Kaito, as the author/creator of Clockland, has some significant control over this field as well. They are playing on his turf right now so he has a slight advantage over them.

At the very least, the ones that seem to hold the most sway over the turnout of the story are the two most powerful magicians present (Sakura and Kaito) as well as the one whose choice will influence them the most (Akiho).

Moreover, we should also remember that he was able to use Clear Mirror to disguise himself as Syaoran.

As such, who can be called "master" over a Card may have been blurred within the book. It's possible the cards can respond to the will of anyone.

Depending on whose hand they're being held in and perhaps also, provided that the order they give doesn't conflict with Sakura's subconscious desire.

So now it becomes the question of who Exchange will fall into the hands of...

If it goes to Sakura, there are two ways this can play out:

Kaito reveals the truth about him and Akiho along with his wish to Sakura and asks her to use Exchange to fulfill it. If his wish is for her to switch lives with Akiho (and therefore, harmful intent), of course Sakura would refuse and his plan will fail on the spot. So naturally, it can't be that. Frankly, this approach makes no sense and further rules out the switch theory. Kaito cannot afford to fail in his quest to save Akiho so he needs a plan that is as airtight as possible with a higher percentage of succeeding. Relying completely on Sakura's goodwill won't give him that because he knows Sakura isn't a pushover. He knows she wouldn't just say "yes" to anything drastic even if it's to save a friend.

A more likely possibility is that he would offer himself in exchange for Akiho's life. His priority is to save Akiho and the most immediate danger is the book inside her. More than switching lives, he needs that book removed (and there's no guarantee that switching lives will remove the book anyway). He is willing to sacrifice everything he has, including his magic and what's left of his dwindling life, to get it out of her. In which case, Sakura would also refuse because not only would that hurt Akiho if she loses Kaito but it would also be assisted suicide. Which is something she would never consent to (and also extremely inappropriate for a story with a young age demographic). Sakura would never consent to sacrificing someone else no matter what the cause, especially when she still knows nothing about Kaito. And when she does learn the truth about him and his and Akiho's past, it will just make her refuse to let Kaito die even harder.

This part of the theory hasn't taken into consideration of what other cards she might use later (like Rewind) but I think we can say with some certainty that Exchange in Sakura's hands would be a dead end for Kaito so he will probably do his best to not let it go to her.

Now, if Exchange falls to Kaito, then it's a question of what his true intentions are with this card.

Everyone wants to perceive that he wishes to switch the girls' lives.

But I...simply do not believe there's enough time to bring about something that cosmic-sized of a change (along with all the action it entails), prevent it, resolve the issues at hand, have Sakura's party learn everything about Akiho and Kaito's pasts, reconcile...and then dedicate the entire last chapter to SyaoSaku being loveydovey with each other for fanservice. If the last 5 chapters are all 30 pages each.

Also, it seems a little too obvious to be true and there are too many contradictions that can make this go wrong.

For one, if we follow by the rules of magic, magical transactions usually need to be equal in value on both sides to be done successfully. Otherwise it will either not go through...or there will be severe consequences to make the transaction even.

So the definition behind Exchange shouldn't be that different.

Frankly, in the case of Akiho and Sakura's respective lives, they are not in fact equal.

They may share some things in common (being chocomint fans, of the same height, etc) but those are all surface similarities and nothing deep.

Since they've led different lives and had different experiences, they would naturally have different feelings, different hearts and therefore, different values.

What is important to Sakura is not the same for what is important to Akiho. For instance, the people they love most are different and thus, inexchangable.

There are also things that Sakura has that Akiho doesn't (magic, family, happy childhood, etc) and that goes the same the other way around, too. Akiho possesses things that Sakura doesn't have either (passion for books, emotional scars, trauma, and a deeper understanding of darkness due to a sad past).

Adding that up, the exchange would be doomed to fail because Akiho and Sakura are too distinct from each other as individuals to be switched smoothly.

Kaito is a magician so on top of knowing how different Akiho is from Sakura, he must be aware of this rule as well.

Furthermore, if the Exchange card takes into account what the user sees as equal in value for a trade, then he would fail there too.

Because of course he would place more importance on Akiho's life than Sakura's or anyone else's.

The scales would be tipped and maybe the magic might not even start up because the conditions for a fair trade have not been met to initiate it.

There's also the possibility of Kaito exchanging positions with Akiho.

In fact, he and Akiho are on more even standing than Akiho and Sakura are.

They share similar backgrounds (lonely pasts, traumatic and abused childhoods) and both are in danger of "dying" with their time running out (Kaito from using too much rewind, Akiho from the progression of the artifact that will erase her soul).

Since Kaito possesses a lot of innate magic while Akiho has that book filled with magic inside her, he can have Exchange put the book inside him while Akiho receives his magic. Doing so, Akiho's soul is preserved at the cost of his own.

But does he really want that with how much his life has been shaved off already from the multiple rewinds?

Doubt it.

Because besides saving her soul, Kaito wants Akiho to live a long and happy life as well. He didn't do all this work just to extend her life for a few more days or weeks or months. He wants her to have a future.

Moreover, even if it can save her soul, any method that forces magic onto Akiho goes against the biggest principle he's been standing by this entire time: that Akiho doesn't need magic.

That she isn't less valuable because she doesn't have any powers.

Whether it be from Sakura or him, it doesn' t matter. He does not want Akiho to change since she's already fine as she is now. She's fine being a normal person.

Giving her magic goes against the moral of their story and most of all, would validate the cruel criticism Akiho's clan had always thrown at her which is something Kaito would want to avoid at all costs.

So any way that ends with Akiho gaining magic is a no no. Because as long as she has magic, whether as an artifact or a magician, Akiho will always be in danger of being taken back by her clan to serve their own purposes.

They only have any interest in her if she contains power within her. If she doesn't, they will give up trying to reclaim her. That is the best outcome Kaito could hope for. Hence why he wants the book removed because then the magicians will stop chasing after Akiho for good and she can finally live in peace.

One more thing. A switch of lives means uprooting what has established the girls as the people they are now...which is gonna be incredibly hard to do.

Not only does it mess with personal history and relationships and therefore, effectively change who they are, it can screw up world through... some effect.

The girls have already lived 13 years, they made their mark in the records of time. The logic that constitutes them individually are already imprinted on the fabric of reality. This is not easily undone, rearranged and stitched perfectly back together.

And the price to attempt it sounds like it would be too much as well. It's not something Kaito alone can pay for. Not even with his and Sakura's magic combined.

Again, his major goals are 1) to remove the book from Akiho foremost and 2) to ensure that nothing that makes Akiho "Akiho" changes.

That includes the things that are the most precious to her. Her appreciation for books, her cherishment of Momo, the friendships she's made in Tomoeda.

And also, her love for her parents.

She may not have known them but she still treasures the fact that she had parents once, that she is the daughter to someone. The few things she does know about her mother and father, she keeps close to her heart. She wants to hold onto whatever she has of them because she has nothing else of them to keep.

Kaito understands this more than anyone because Akiho told this to him herself.

And the fact that Lilie, Akiho's mother, was also a significant person in his life is more than enough to deter him from ever wanting to sever the connection Akiho has with her parents. Because Lilie is an important part of Akiho, too. If Akiho loses that, she will no longer be the Akiho that she is now.

In short, switching Akiho's life with another's might turn her into a girl who has warm family and friends and a happy, sheltered childhood and all...but that girl wouldn't be the same Akiho in front of him at this moment.

Therefore, I must conclude that exchanging Akiho and Sakura's lives is probably not what he's aiming for. Because that ultimately means changing Akiho from who she is now into someone entirely different.

She would not be Akiho anymore if that happens.

6) Kaito's true wish + the endgame he wants

This is the part where I throw out a new theory.

Even if it's not an exchange of lives or magic, there will still be an exchange of something.

A wish and a price to pay for that wish.

Kaito wants the book that has been carved into Akiho's body to be removed.

The book has been implanted by the powers of many, many magicians from both the Association and Akiho's clan. And over the years, more magic has been added to its pages through all the books Akiho had read.

The amount of magic within her, though not specified, must be enormous. For it to be taken out without harming the vessel (Akiho) would require a very hefty price.

Kaito's life and his magic might not be enough. Hell, even adding Sakura's magic into the equation, overflowing as it is, might not be enough either because she is still only one person against the hundreds of magics and taboos stored in Akiho.

So what can Kaito offer, something that only belongs to him, to make it so the book no longer endangers Akiho? What does he alone possess that can match in equal value for the fulfillment of that wish?

Perhaps his own existence?

As in, erasing it from the world? That's a pretty big offer, isn't it?

Like it was discussed above, any tempering with the events of time is a very difficult thing to accomplish. In the magician society, it is also a widely known taboo. You don't mess with the workings of time and even the altering of one person's life in the flow of it can result in some significant change.

But see, if this is indeed possible...then the task is "easier" to carry out with Kaito precisely because there a very few people who are aware of him. In fact, the less others know about him, the better. It would not create such a big backlash if he were to disappear.

Because he thinks he didn't make enough of an impact on anything that would be hard to forget and also probably believes that everybody wants to forget about him.

He has no blood relatives looking for him so he believes he doesn't have a true home or family to go back or belong to.

The Association only ever saw him as a tool to be used and is out to kill him for taking Akiho (the artifact) away so they definitely won't miss him.

And nobody in Sakura's party really understands what he's after. They only suspect he's scheming something so they think the worst of him because they lack information to consider otherwise. Moreover, Kaito had also went to great lengths to hide his personal information from being discovered. He doesn't want people to know about him because that will make disappearing much more difficult.

Knowing him and his self-loathing, his belief and depression that he'll always be alone, his guilt over that blank book comment that brought this fate upon Akiho (the person he loves most) and how little time he has left to live anyway, Kaito is definitely in the mindset that there would be no problem if he were gone.

For him, it might even be preferable. This way, Akiho can be saved and he (as the "villain" he thinks he is) can exit this story, this world, so that it could have the "happy ending" he envisioned.

Though I suspect he wouldn't request for an ending on such a massive scale either because again, he cannot risk anything that could change Akiho from who she is now.

He'd still want his efforts to remain, to keep everything that built up this story to stay (taking Akiho away from her clan, bringing her to Japan, letting her meet and befriend Sakura, enacting the magic of Momo's book to remove the artifact, etc) so that it preserves Akiho's foundations as her own person.

He would just want to blot himself out. So that only he is forgotten after this is all over.

Akiho can still have Momo, her friends, her memories of her parents, the life she's lived up till now. It's only Kaito who wouldn't be there like he originally was.

There may be blank spots left behind where he used to be but since not many people knew about him, he trusts the world can fill in those blanks on its own. Like history correcting itself by creating little "coincidences" or whatever to explain and make sure things make sense.

For Akiho, he knows he can at least entrust her into Sakura's care after he's gone. That might be another reason why he allowed them to form a close friendship in spite of the dangers it could've posed to Akiho (i.e. the artifact reacting to Sakura's magic and reaching closer to completion, thereby shutting Akiho's consciousness down).

It wasn't just for the sake of the synchro and creating the Exchange card he was waiting for. It was also because he needed a good person to be there for Akiho, someone who is capable of protecting her when he no longer could. And for sure, he has confidence in Sakura because everybody knows Sakura will never abandon a person in need.

As long as the book is removed, the European magicians won't come after Akiho anymore. Sakura and co can take good care of Akiho because they are kind people. They will give her a safe place to stay, away from all the troubles of magic.

Including him, who believes his value lies only in his magic and was the source of this whole mess to begin with because of his affiliation with magic.

To make up for his "sin", for what he accidentally did to Akiho, Kaito is more than willing to step aside and vanish so that he doesn't get in the way of Akiho being happy.

However, he could not be more wrong because he still has absolutely no idea just how much Akiho loves him and therefore, how it's inevitably going to change her, to destroy her, if he erases himself from her life.

She is who she is because of him. If it weren't for Kaito making the choice to take her away from her clan, to save her from the doom of losing her soul, she never would've gotten this far. She never would've survived to become the Akiho she is now. Never to know what love is, to make friends and to realize that she's always had the choice in the matter of her own happiness.

Kaito taught her all that. He gave her that chance when no one else did.

He is the lynchpin of her existence. The reason why he's the most important person in her life.

She was able to become who she was because he was there for her, to support her and encourage her and to protect her and love her as she should've been loved.

Take him away and everything that they both worked so hard for will become undone. It doesn't matter how well taken care of she is by people like Sakura afterwards, they can never fill the hole he'd leave behind.

That void will always hurt her because she knows something, someone, is missing from where they should be.

Only he can fill that spot in her heart. No one else can.

He is the only person for her. He is the only person who knows best how to let Akiho stay Akiho.

And Akiho's greatest task in this story is to make him see that.

To make him realize that there is someone who will be deeply affected if they were to lose him and that's her. The one he cares most about and wants to save the most.

If he doesn't want Akiho to change into something she isn't...

If he doesn't want to see her worst off than she is now, a hollow husk who will grieve the loss of him forever...

If he truly wants her to be happy, then he has to listen to her. He has to believe her when she says "I love you. I will never be the same without you so don't leave me. Stay with me."

With that, I think I can picture the order of what might happen for Akiho and Kaito.

Akiho will be saved first with the removal of the book.

Then Kaito will be saved next through some other miracle means with Sakura's assistance.

But for sure, it is Akiho who will contribute the most to stopping him from dropping off the edge of no return. That loss will be hers to bear if she fails to so the one who has to put in the most effort to save Kaito will also be the person who loves him the most.

And she'll do that all without the need for magic. Just like she's always done to get by.

She just needs to be herself, to just be Akiho.

After all, Akiho is the true main character of "Alice in Clockland" whereas Sakura is the stand-in heroine for the sake of manifesting the magic Kaito needs.

The world of Clockland can bend to her will because she is the Queen.

Likewise, the story of Clockland can end however she wishes it to because she is in fact, the real Alice.

Kaito weaved this tale for her sake, for the real Alice.

Therefore, only she has the power to stop him. Only Akiho, the real Alice, is capable of turning him away from death and giving him reason to want to live.

Kaito wants the best and happiest ending for Akiho? Then don't go. Don't disappear.

He needs to understand the importance of his connection with Akiho. He needs to understand what it is that his most beloved reader truly wants in order to properly give her the most satisfactory "happy ending".

[khaleesiofalicante]

And the ranting continues

Okay this os a long one, but the first time I read about David was on TLND ( I miss fetus Mavid) and then I read LBAF and then you started writing adult David and suddenly the character I had in my head kinda shifted and since then I've been curious: Would David be attracted and fall in love with someone who isn't Max but is similar to him like Magnus would (although Max like Alec always be someone special that no one can compare to) or would he not, like Max wouldn't fall in love with anyone who isn't David (at least I think he wouldn't). I mean, you have mentioned a lot of times that David craves love (like Magnus), but in TLND, he was waiting for Max and didn't date anyone else. Was it because he had already met him and therefore knew that nobody else was it for him? So like, in Never Settle, he didn't know him, so he kept searching for love?

I kept trying to figure out why Other Max being the first Max to time travel is kinda scary and then I finally pinned it down: If he wasn't the first, that meant that everything he has done has been done before and everyone survived and no great evil took place. But if he is the first one, then we have no idea how everything he's doing will affect the people around him, what kind of consequences his actions will have. First off all, if he's the first one how did they ley lines get fixed in Other Max's timeline? How did Mallory die in his timeline? How did Victoria get pregnant? Also, him being the first means another very scary thing. That him and Max don't go through the same things, so there's no guarantee that Max will grow up to be Other Max, because his David has all his memories but his David also dates someone that makes Max insecure about himself and he feels jelous, something he hasn't felt for David, ever. So that has to have some impact on him, shape him in a different way, right? I mean did David in this timeline cry for 11 days when Lance was born or not because Other Max reassured him that he'll be okay? Is his behaviour and the fact that he doesn't get angry because of Other Max or did Other David react like this too? When I tell you that is the scariest plot you've ever written I mean it, and I love it I can't wait to see how everything will play out

Speaking of Other Max the "I need someone older" trend fitting David kinda scares me too, because it kinda suggests that Other Max is what David needs, more than Max himself which is gonna hurt a lot and especially if David voices that to Max, I fear his insecurities will get the best of him. Or you meant it to be funny and I'm here freaking out over nothing, look what you've done to us😂

Are there no demons in New York because they smell David's and Lance's demon blood and therefore see no shadowhunter or no threat? Is it because of Other Max protecting them or even because of Lucifer? Do I really believe you'll answer? No because, spoilers, but I wanted to ask regardless

One thing I desperately hold on to is that Rafael and Max hugged and they joined the party at the LBAF IV epilogue, so whatever happened they find their way around it, the amount of comfort this thought gives me, I can't even describe. Because Max loves his family more than anything and he likes parties and now that he can't have it it must hurt a lot

I need to hear the conversation between Malec about whatever is happening since they dreamed about Rosewood/Mavid living close to each other and now they can't even visit each other, I mean the scenes with those four together have always been my favourites and seeing them now hurts a lot too and oh, sweet sweet angst

Last angsty thought: Is Mavid living away from everyone in France in every reality a canon event because they were exiled from Idris? Like they never have a big wedding because they're not allowed in LBAF?

Okay, that was every angsty thought I've had. Now, there are only fluffy things in my notes and I prefer it that way so I'll share them later! I would like to mention once again that reading your fics is the only time I'm excited to feel pain, your power is truly unmatched🌷

*snorts this ask in like cocaine*

FETUS MAVID OMG. Love it. I think David has a person is always searching for love. I never have and never will write him as someone who is 'looking for the perfect guy/max'. In some fics, Max is his first love and not in others. He will definitely date others before meeting max because he loves to give himself that chance to find that person. we do see that he has a type - which is basically max lol. but yes after he meets max, it's pretty much game over for him.

this point gave me an hernia (that's an easter egg for you btw). I'm very impressed by your observations and i wish i could tell you if you are right or not. i can't answer your questions either but i can tell you four things 1) all your questions will definitely be answered but you need to keep looking for them 2) mallory dies old and alone and waiting for max (in other max's timeline) 3) it was never said david cried for 11 days when lance was born. we don't actually know what other max was talking about there 4) i can confirm that it is the scariest plot line yes

i did not mean it in a funny way. we have a storm coming. can't wait for chapter 8

it's lance. he is keeping demons away because he is helping david manage the institute (but he doesn't know he is doing it because he is a baby - his powers are insane bro...)

max and rafe are in a bad place right now but they get to a good place by the time the lbaf iv epilogue happens then lbaf 5 happens and it's angst time again :))

we will see lots of malec content discussing children and trying to make peace between them and yes tis gonna be angst <3

that's correct. not bad, vicky, not bad.

I will await more angsty thoughts from you because i feed on it like a demon fdkvnkd.

[adonis-koo]

When I started binge reading Wicked many, many months ago, I sent in very long detailed asks almost every single day for each chapter as I was reading it. And I don't recall any of them getting answered. Maybe one or two. When I review a story or a chapter, sometimes it takes me like 45 minutes to put all my thoughts into an ask. I spend a lot of time on it. Eventually I started to realize I was wasting all that time sending in asks when they weren't being responded to. I was looking for the interaction with you. I wanted to have conversations about the story. It was very disappointing to me, and I felt like my thoughts and feelings on each chapter weren't wanted. So I stopped after awhile and just binge read the rest of it to bring me current with your last update. I think it stopped on Chapter 12 or 13. I left likes as I always do. I'm pretty sure I reblogged it at some point. So now I'm kind of confused that you're asking for readers to send in asks but mine never got responded to for some reason. I know tumblr eats asks, but it couldn't have eaten every single one of mine. Like I said, I was sending in asks just about every single day. I hope this ask doesn't come off as harsh, but I wanted to let you know how frustrated I was when I first started reading and it didn't seem like you had any interest in interacting with me. I very much enjoy talking with writers about their stories.

While it may have left a bad taste in my mouth, I still continue to read Wicked, and I have loved every single second of it. It's one of my favorite stories on tumblr. I am more than happy to go back to reviewing all your chapters. But it would be nice to see my asks responded to. Just like you as a writer crave interaction with your readers, I as a reader crave interaction with the writers of the stories I'm reading. There is nothing better to me than having a conversation about a story I love. So if you're interested in interacting with me on future chapters, let me know, and I will happily go back to reviewing.

First of all, I would like to truly apologize for not replying to your asks, I did dig a little and I was only able to find one ask that is an absolute shame to not respond too, as I had an entire reply in my head and was very excited to answer, but I can only assume I got caught up with something else that demanded my attention (outside of this blog), I do remember answering your asks before and can only assume some may have been eaten.

Here’s the thing; my blog vastly swings between an overwhelming number of people interacting to absolutely no interaction at all, I have very few people (and I heavily appreciate those who I do have) who consistently send in asks whom go by an alias or an actual blog that I can identify as regular. It’s just being jarring to watch, because then it makes me wonder if my chapter wasn’t well received, or the quality declined, or anything and everything that could make one chapter blow up and the very next a week later, completely bomb.

I have become very conscious of asks slipping through the cracks, and I’ve tried the last three or so chapters to make a conscious effort to answer everything single one before I post another chapter, to try and make sure nobody is feeling left out or slipping through the cracks.

I would also like to mention that me vocalizing this issue entirely excludes people who have reblogged my work, even if someone has only ever sent in one ask for an entire series is completely acceptable for me, just something. And even if I never do respond to asks just know that I never delete them because I’m a sentimental person and I still become nostalgic and go back and re-read them like it’s my first time receiving them.

I will always appreciate and feel the love of someone when they send me their words about how I personally impacted them with my writing and I will always cherish it, even if I end up forgetting to reply, or it somehow got stuck in my draft because I never fully finished my thought, or if it was buried and unable to be answered before the next chapter was posted. I cherish, every, single, one.

I am truly sorry that you felt frustrated and had a bitter taste in your mouth for me as a writer, it truly wasn’t my intention. That being said, I don’t really feel like I’m entitled to ask you to start reviewing my work again when my lack of consistency was the reason you stopped.

And when I think about it, I guess I don’t really have the entitlement to ask anyone to interact with me, after all, this is a hobby I do for free, I have to continually remind myself that this is something I chose to do because I want too, not because I have too.

I truly do thank you for the support you’ve sent to me and I really am sorry that I disappointed you as a reader, I hope you continue to enjoy Wicked and I appreciate that you spoke about your experience to me ❤️

[crocheting-cupio]

A response to my Downward Spiral uQuiz got me thinking, and then I realized I had yet to share my main motto. So I figured I should write about it a bit more in-depth.

(I remember I saw it in a comic many years ago, over my Mom's shoulder while she was scrolling through Flickr. The comic featured one person saving another from drowning in a lake, and the people were pretty simply drawn. Sadly, I haven't been able to find the comic again. If anyone else has seen it before PLEASE let me know!!)

My motto is: "You might not be able to change the world for everyone, but you can change the world for someone."

To put the phrase another way: You are unlikely to be famous and have a noteworthy impact on the world at large. However, well within your ability is to have a huge impact on one other person. One person who will likely remember your actions for the rest of their life. Good or bad.

As such, one need not be famous, even to a very small degree, to matter. We all matter to someone. It is statistically impossible to be unloved in this world. With this in mind, I approach others as if I am living proof of this. "YOU matter to ME, and I am not nobody," I insist regardless of if we just met or if we have known each other for five years.

More importantly, I survived through a time where I had no one. No friends. Bad relationships with family. Extremely bad relationship with myself. And when I crawled out I said to myself "No one should ever have to suffer as I have." And since have dedicated myself to becoming the friend, the person you look to for help, the light in the darkness, which I never had during that time.

And this is the philosophy which I adhere to. I think about how my actions could drastically change someone's life course. I could be the one who convinces them that not everyone is mean and self-centered. I could be the one to make awful days just a bit more bearable. I could (and have been) the one to convince them to stay in this world a little longer. And all of these things matter a lot to these people. At the very least I know I am not making someone's day worse, I'm just being a pleasant person to be around.

So that is what I do. I change the world for the better one person at a time. One act of kindness and respect at a time.

Most of the time I don't get to see the results, or even get something in return, but that is fine with me. I'm in this because I wholeheartedly believe it is the right thing to do with my limited time in this world.

[pikahlua]

Hi pika! Whenever you write metas on bnha theories I read them like morning news. I like your ideas on the recent one about katsuki. If things go similarly as what you predicted, what will happen to Izuku tho? Like the 2nd poll art where katsuki has a hunting knife, I did notice Izuku had another sword/knife on his belt too in this new art which got me thinking.

I always wondered if Izuku actually were born with a quirk but was deemed useful by the doctor so he took it (idk by what means but apparently he was already working with afo at the time anyway so he must have his ways), then lied to poor Izuku and his mom that he was quirkless. I honestly have no idea what Izuku's quirk might be if he originally had one. It might be something, a missing piece, that afo had always wanted to regenerate himself or to utilize his quirks better. Something modest but really useful, Idk. Still, after finding out the doctor Izuku consulted about his quirk manifestation turned out to be the doctor screams suspicious to me.

Anyway, by linking the additional sword/knife on Katsuki and Izuku with your theory, if either TomurAFO or AFO did successfully stole OFA from Izuku, then what does the additional weapon on Izuku means? Could it be hinting that the remaining power of OFA still lingers in him(like the case with AM) and he could actually own it and make it into his own quirk (with/without time limit), or he literally became quirkless that he had to work again to figure out what he could do as a hero?

What are your thoughts on Izuku's endgame and how it would affect and bring the whole theme of this series into a final closure?

I won't deny that there are enough little hints that Izuku could actually have been born with a quirk and lost it--should Horikoshi decide to take the story in that direction. I just don't get the feeling he will. I feel like the story has been coming back to the "it's the will behind the quirk that matters, not the quirk itself" moral a little too hard to need to make Izuku have a quirk for any reason. That doesn't mean there isn't something else to the weird coincidence where Dr. Garaki was Izuku's pediatrician though, but I can only speculate about that.

As far as the additional sword on Izuku's person, I don't know if I'm SUPPOSED to read into that, but it's kind of fun to. And if I do read into it, I have no idea which direction to take it. The one I'm (probably unsurprisingly) fond of considering is--if Katsuki ends up with OFA, what if Izuku ends up with Explosion? (What? What's that? "Switch Theory"? Never heard of it.)

Izuku's endgame is somehow the most difficult for me to discern, because I think it's entirely dependent on some big story questions Horikoshi has to answer. It's not that I have no idea what will happen--it's that there are a lot of options and Horikoshi has yet to broadcast which one he's going with. Katsuki is, of course, the wild card here, because you can't tell me their endings aren't inextricably tied together. Whatever big thing happens to either character will have a huge impact on what happens to the other. One will likely save the other--or they'll both save each other? And Tenko's gonna be somewhere in that mix as well. I also get the feeling that little flashback of AFO vs Second has a thematic piece of the puzzle in what ultimately happens. Off the top of my head I can just take all these pieces like 5 different ways already though. Ain't nobody got time to write all of that lol.

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

If your Ethan wasn't with your MCs and they needed to be paired with another MC in the fandom who would they be paired with and why would they be paired with them?

yoooo anon what a superb brain you have. congrats bcs idk how many times i’ve seen the question and i still didn’t know how to answer this lol. but anyways i hope this might help:

oookay so if ethan wasn’t with klaw i’ll definitely would pair him with someone who was at mass kenmore. let’s just pretend other mc’s work there bcs if they were at edenbrook it would be a lot of chaos. you may think why?

bcs my girl doesn’t express her emotions but when she has those feelings for ethan and sees someone else beside him- her heart crumbles.

anyways back to the topic. i can’t remember every mc that i’ve read here in the fandom bcs they are lots of them and it’s very difficult to choose which one could beat my mc. but… i do remember only one who was the first inspiration for to me write here and to create this character:

Denise Hogan by @justanotherookie (which isn’t part of the fandom here anymore unfortunately)

i think her character has some tiny similarities with my mc but she is much more kind, sweet, funny and very social girl which is a contrast with ethan’s character. i imagine that ethan wants someone who is not like him bcs he hates that and klaw unfortunately wouldn’t be the perfect person. as we know by the law of physics: the opposites attract, the similar repel.

denise comes from a lovely family without so many traumas in her life whereas klaw has dealt by herself most of the time with a miserable one with full of secrets, mysteries and danger. again this impacts a lot into their characters and how they approach people. if denise is loved by everyone, klaw is hated by everyone. denise goes mostly by heart but klaw goes by brain.

if the girls met each other for a coffee i can picture this: denise would think klaw as friend; klaw would think denise as a menace. they both will go to the ends of earth to sacrifice for their loved ones. the only one who cares about reputation is: my mc bcs of her egoism whereas denise doesn’t care about it or even wealth as long as she doesn’t lose the respect from her people. that is a big difference… so who do you think ethan will choose now?

both ethan and klaw have traumas in their lives that aren’t healed. they need someone who can understand their pains and give them emotional support so they both are complex souls… which denise hasn’t experienced this and she will help ethan but even the latter with her insecurities and other issues that she struggles with. nobody’s perfect. so they will eventually complement each other like two halves of the heart.

but i need to highlight that what i said about denise’ character is only a fraction of what i can remember from the author’s writing so apologies if i have made any mistakes in her description.

thank you so so much my dear anon❤️ i truly appreciate that you took your time to ask me🥹 bcs it’s been a long time since i haven’t received one and it was so fun🫶🏻

[lightlycareless]

chapter 28 taking me out again,,, more character building,,

naoya just can not win this man is being attacked from every side (deserved). the way i screamed that he got suspended from work for MONTHS? he is about to be INSUFFERABLE (like more so than normal).

AND THE LINE ABT AS LONG AS THE KID IS A ZENIN IT DOESNT MATTER,,, I CAN JUST FEEL THE PSYCHIC DAMAGE HE TOOK IN THAT MOMENT. FULL ON GLASS SHATTER SOUND EFFECT TYPE SHIT. OBLITERATED.

also its so funny fr how he goes over reasons for y/n’s behavior towards him, trying to figure out what went wrong, and it just… never occurs maybe it was the abuse? the s/a? couldn’t possibly be. must be his brother. zero braincell behavior HOW is he this delusional

AND WHAT IS RANTA PLANNING?? whatever it is i know its a bad idea and he should stop. immediately. like maybe its not on purpose malicious but i still know its gonna turn out badly and NO ONE is going to be happy with the outcome

and on the other hand y/n and naoaki- incredible. amazing. are they STILL believing they’re being platonic with each other after all that?? the cuddling?? i can only imagine if they’d been walked in on like that

N THE END?? NAOYA SAW HIM LEAVING HER ROOM HE IS GONNA BE SO PISSED and theres so many QUESTIONS raised from that. like does naoaki know he saw him?? does this have any impact on Ranta’s Horrible Plan?? is naoyas first response gonna be storming over to naoaki or barging in on y/n??? theres SO MANY possibilities here and chapter 29 is gonna kill me

Hello!!!

I’m super glad you like this chapter hahahahahahahahh It’s the beginning of Naoya’s suffering, of what he deserves 😈

Had to get him where it hurts most, and that had to be his career as a sorcerer… a punishment that ended up being kind of a slap on the wrist tbh, because why wouldn’t that be the case 🙄 I think if it had been anyone else, like someone of a less impressive heritage they would’ve been permanently suspended—it’s the Zen’in playing their privilege card once again…

And yeah, I can’t imagine how insufferable he’s going to be on the incoming days hahahaha like, he’s essentially forced to stay in the estate since he can’t do his work anymore, and not only that, nobody wants to hang out with him!!!! Only ranta cares enough to stick around but even then, the poor boy was like “omg I hope he doesn’t kill me for approaching him” damn he truly has no friends 😂 (well, you reap what you sow) lmao

But for him to foolishly convince himself that if no one is going to care, y/n will just because of what she did and because she’s his wife? Come ooooon Naoya hahahahahahha that’s just another level of delusion, like wake up my dude. I’m glad the elders’ comment was quick to put him in his place though :> (YOU SAID IT WELL, HE WAS DEVASTATED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH it’s like that one scene where Mahito and Sukura are laughing at Itadori and he's naiveness, I guess)

At the same time though, I was like: the elders should stfu, they have NO RIGHT to talk about Y/N get OUT.

But still not good enough for him to realize where the true guilt lies; well, like I said, it’s something that he can’t comprehend yet. Holding accountability is not something that the Zen’in are like… avid believers of, opting to just put the blame onto others, like poor Naoaki 😒 man, it’s not his fault that Naoya is an idiot and that y/n prefers him :^) (you reap what you sow part.2)

Ranta is the kind of person I truly, truly think he has good intentions… but it’s such a shame he’s investing all of his energy on Naoya 😭 guess he knows something we don’t… anyways, can’t wait to see his plan and how it will backfire on them :>

NOW NAOAKI AND Y/N THAT SCENE… was the one I posted earlier about haunting me hahhah I know that by writing that I will be crossing a line so to speak, but at the same time… come on. Like, the two are getting to know each other and spending time with one another… they’re bound to eventually want to do something a bit more personal (this was highly indulgent too hahah forgive me 😭) you know? And y/n was in desperate need of comfort, it was foul how her happiness was destroyed like that and so quickly too!! Hinata… please… just take her out of there…

Also, be careful with what you wish for, ‘cause it just might come true 😊😈

Now to your question about whether Naoaki saw him… maybe, I think he might’ve sensed him but since he was like not wanting to entertain anybody, he was like meh who cares goodbye!!! Besides, it’s stated that he’s become far more obvious when it comes to approaching y/n so maybe he really doesn’t care anymore lol

It’s completely reasonable to expect the worst considering all that happened in the chapters before and how I’ve portrayed Naoya, however, he is in a rattled state of mind so… guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens 😊

I’m super happy that you liked this chapter 🥺❤ ngl I was super nervous about it (more on that in the behind the scene notes) but reading your feedback is always reassuring to me 😭 thank you for you support!!! It motivates me to keep on writing :> I can’t wait for you to read the upcoming chapters!

I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you around!!

[gfablogs]

Helping the Poor

Helping the poor is a noble goal and one that organizations have been working toward for decades. GFA World has been serving the poor since 1979 in Asia and has recently began serving in Africa as well. We serve the “least of these,” often in places where no one else is working. GFA supports national missionaries, who serve the needs of the poor in their communities. These missionaries are best equipped to serve the people. In fact, helping the poor is a natural and organic part of their ministry. It is a tangible way to share God’s love.

Poverty has devastating impacts on people.

They are often unable to earn enough money to provide for the physical needs of their families. Children are often unable to go to school, either because the family can’t afford it or because the children need to work in order to help meet the needs of the family. Other children can’t attend school because they are in charge of gathering water for the family, and the only water source may be miles away. When children are not able to attend school, the cycle of poverty is likely to continue.

Along with poverty, comes a mindset where hopelessness seems inevitable. If your grandparents and parents have lived in poverty, why would circumstances be different for you? It is hard to see beyond your current situation when poverty is all you’ve ever known. How do we break that poverty mindset in people who are living each day in extreme poverty?

Athalia had that mindset, and she was lured into sex trafficking because of poverty.1

She left her abusive and drunk husband and took her three children to live with her parents, but this was a great financial strain on them all. Then a woman told her she knew a way Athalia could make money.

Athalia said,

“None of us working in a brothel comes there willingly. Nobody ever enjoys working as a sex worker. It’s only because of compulsion, some difficult moments or hardships that we go through that we come to a brothel. Now for my case, it was because of poverty. … There was nothing that I could do to take care of my children, and that’s the reason why I was forced to engage in this kind of work. [That’s] the story similar to many of our ladies who work inside the brothel.”

But hope would find its way to the red-light district where she worked.

This help came in the form of GFA Pastor Dhinanath and his wife, Lydia. He invited her to a tea shop where he told her about Jesus Christ.

Pastor Dhinanath told her,

“Jesus loves you. He wants to give you the best.”

Pastor Dhinanath wants to help the poor, Bible in hand.

Athalia took his phone number and called with questions, eventually attending one of his churches     and experiencing the peace and joy of Jesus Christ. Helping the poor starts with their hearts. By hearing of Jesus, Athalia found hope and another path.

Athalia said,

“Now in my life, the only thing I want to do is to call upon the Lord to ask Him to be my Lord and my Savior. I want to know Him deeper every day in my life.”

After 10 years in prostitution, Athalia left for a better life and to follow Jesus. It was the persistent prayer and ministry of Pastor Dhinanath and Lydia that helped her and other women in her situation know they were loved beyond measure by the God of the universe. It may not seem obvious, but self-worth and value are important tools in the fight against poverty.

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