#nobody else has the kind of impact on one another as they do with each other

[skywalkr-nberrie]

I wanna talk about the conversations Padmé had with Sola in the AOTC novel, and they how clearly confirm that Padmé’ first and last love was always just Anakin 🥺 of course we know Anakin felt a deep connection with Padmé the moment she walked into Watto’s junk shop, and has loved her for 10 years, so she’s indefinitely his first and last. But on the flip side, is the truth for Padmé as well.

(Of course, I’m not counting adolescent crushes she had when she was a kid, because that’s not “love.”)

*•..•*.•*•..*•.*

Sola in the AOTC novel has a conversation with Padmé about how she never thinks about settling down and wonder if she’s ever even wanted a family, and clearly Sola thinks the concept is foreign to her sister because she never speaks on such things nor has she ever expressed the desire to want more (despite that we know Padmé does want these things.) because Padmé was always heavily focused with duty rather than getting involved with someone.

Padmé even tries to deny it when Sola insists that settling down with someone is something she needs and wants but finds that she can’t when she’s faced with the reality of it. This clearly indicates Padmé’ mindset all her life, trying to justify to herself that she doesn’t need to settle down and find love, start a family. She tries to convince herself that she’s okay and content with living her life in duty. Having not found anyone to love her whole life, she thinks she’s immune and not needing of matters like this, and yet she still finds it hard to deny the desire when her sister poses the question.

Padmé eventually gives the idea some thought when she’s reunited with Anakin again, because up until now, she’s never in her life before gave into “wanting more”. Her life was always choosing duty and career over her desires. Or to put it more accurately lacking the conviction for that desire because nobody in her life before Anakin could make her.

Padmé even so much as remembers Sola’s words of “finding love” and “settling down” the minute Anakin comes back into her life, admits that she found the idea more tempting than it had ever been. Because now, finally, Padmé truly had found someone to desire and fight for (even if she doesn’t yet realize it yet, because he’s a Jedi, and she’s a Senator.)

After Padmé brings Anakin home to meet her family (something which Sola confirms Padmé had never done before with another boy 😏) Sola pulls her aside to talk about Anakin with Padmé, because she so clearly sees the sparks flying between them. Advising her sister to give the idea some thought, because as Sola says Padmé thinks “being a girlfriend and a Senator, aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Sola confirms that Padmé just needs to “give into her desire” and that she’s always so “tied up in responsibilities”. Never leaving room for “more”.

And the most pivotal part of Sola and Padmé’ conversation about her quickly growing feelings for Anakin, Sola corroborates that whatever Padmé is “feeling” is something “new” to her, she knows her sister has never felt this way about anyone before Anakin, and she knows she’s afraid. Padmé is weary because Anakin is a Jedi, but more importantly Padmé is afraid of her own feelings for Anakin too, because she herself also knows she’s never felt this way for anyone, her whole life was all politics and that’s all Padmé knows and is comfortable with, at this point. Sola then she tries to reassure Padmé that it’s a wonderful thing despite that it’s a new sensation her sister is going through. Padmé at this point even acknowledges that denying what her sister is saying wouldn’t be honest.

This is why Anakin and Padmé’ love was so pure, before they got together, their lives were entirely about duty and responsibility. And as Anakin and Padmé have stated in other SW novels, their lives before each other, belonged to something lesser then their true selves and the people they were before didn’t matter, as it took away from their individualities. After getting together they became two halves of one soul. They’re stronger together. Nobody {before one another} was able to do this for them.

They’re truly each others “one and only”, or “first and last.” 🌟

[rhiannonsknife]

https://x.com/femmeflix/status/1852896350481825792?s=46&t=PsXAfTCJv59FchQIdn66aA

I’ve been obsessed with Jackie/your Jackie fics and thoughts lately.

This with Jackie in the wilderness though..? Maybe an AU where she never died and find excuses to keep you “warm at night” in winter? You’re in the farthest corner of the cabin when she starts grinding against you softly. The others are asleep but you still have to be quiet, silently sighing into the other’s mouth as you get each other off…

-🪩

thank you 🪩 anon!! i probably added way too much background lore, but i hope this is what you had in mind <3 nsfw below so: mdni!

i feel like, unlike shauna, jackie would not be so in denial about how touch starved she is. i think she’s well aware that she needs somebody’s comfort, yet ever since doomcoming, she and shauna have not spoken properly and she won’t even look in travis’ direction.

it wasn’t just the betrayal itself, you think, without ever saying it out loud, it was the audacity of it. now, every time jackie glanced at shauna, all she could see was the life she used to have, the life she had taken away piece by piece: her boyfriend, her best friend, her sense of control. nobody is ever calling it by name in spite of the elephant (shauna’s bump) in the room.

jackie hadn’t acknowledged the pregnancy out loud, yet the unspoken tension hangs in the air whenever they are forced to share space, impacting all of you.

the more time passes, the colder everyone gets.

except for tai and van, the rest of the team has sort of neglected the need for physical touch and closeness. without anyone around that you’d be comfortable enough with to ask for a simple hug, you try to do the same as everyone else. only at night, with the others fast asleep, you ever dare to wrap your arms around yourself, picturing it’s someone else holding you.

you won’t let it show to the others, though, not wanting to be the first to break under the current circumstances.

turns out you don’t have to wait too long for someone else to be in a similar position: jackie had been the one to lose it from the start. sure, you’d all been terrified, but out of all the girls, jackie had been the most stubborn when it came to her chores out here.

she’d always been the one least likely to adapt to any of this: to the wilderness, to the cold, to the isolation that gnawed at all of you. she wasn’t built for this life, and everyone knew it, including her. but jackie wasn’t one to let people see her break easily: the same jackie who once thrived on attention now barely spoke, her haughty attitude replaced by something more brittle.

it had only been a matter of time before this facade cracked.

you’d seen her unraveling slowly. the way she avoided shauna, the way she avoided everyone, really. how she snapped at taissa for trying to delegate chores or rolled her eyes at nat’s attempts to hunt. she’s so desperate to seem untouchable, but it is clear to you that jackie’s just lost. and hurt.

and then came the nightmares, too.

you start to wake at night to the sound of her gasping, a sharp cry muffled into the blanket she clutches around her. she must’ve shot up, her breaths coming fast and shallow, and for a moment, you think she might wake everyone else. but the others keep sleeping, too used to the sounds of restless nights to stir. that’s how it starts because you -unsure of what else to do- only reach out and put a hand on her shoulder. jackie flinches, not expecting anyone else to be up at this time. you two never talk about it afterwards but you feel the way she instantly melts into your touch.

that small gesture is what makes you realize how much you’ve missed being close to another person.

after this, it is like a switch has been flipped: jackie is fixated on always lingering in your presence, eager for any kind of touch she can get, whether it’s a brush of hands, her palm to your back, or sitting shoulder to shoulder. she even picks up certain chores just to be near you. whether it is a desperate attempt for proximity and closeness or a real crush that’ll keep on growing beyond this place where you’re stuck, it feels nice to be wanted like this.

one of these nights, with the cabin quiet and the air heavy with the sound of soft snores and the occasional crackle of the dying fire, jackie takes things one step further.

everyone else is huddled together for warmth, but in the farthest corner of the room, it’s just you. or at least it was, until jackie had slipped down beside you, her breath visible in the freezing air as she sits close -closer than she needs to.

she whispers, careful not to wake the others, “it’s freezing. you’re practically an icicle over here,“ she hesitates, her hands tugging at her blanket as if trying to decide what to say next. after another moment, she ventures, “i don’t know how you’re even handling it. i feel like my fingers might fall off any second”

her eyes flicker to yours, searching for something. permission, maybe, to come even closer than she already is. “you know,” she says lightly, almost offhand, “it’d probably be warmer if we shared. not that anyone would care… or even notice.”

she doesn’t press it further, leaving the idea hanging between you. sure, the two of you have shared your moments before, but you certainly hadn’t spent the night cuddling yet.

the silence stretches out, her gaze darting to yours again, waiting for any sign. and then you shift, just a little, leaning closer, not quite touching but enough to give her what she needs. the corner of her mouth twitches, and without a word, she slides her blanket open, wrapping it around the both of you as she settles closer.

jackie voice is barely above a whisper, the words brushing against your ear. “this is okay…right?”

you nod, softly, knowing she’ll see from where she’s curled up against you from behind. like this, the two of you lie in silence for a good while. you know jackie is awake still: you can feel the way she occasionally shifts, or how her breathing won’t still in a way that it would if she was asleep.

it’s strange, how natural this feels: being this close to someone, so comfortably tangled together after such a long time. a part of you had forgotten how it would feel. another part, the one that’s been falling in love with jackie taylor long before your plane crashed, longs to have her even closer and tries its very hardest not to allow your mind to wander…

jackie, on the other hand, hasn’t felt this close to any of the other girls either. without thinking, her hand moves of its own accord, around you to rest on your stomach. her fingers are cold, even through your layers of clothing. she brushes them lightly over your skin, the touch gentle. you audibly gulp, but let her.

after another moment, you are finally brave enough to shift. you lift yourself up and adjust until you’re facing her. jackie’s hand remains on the dip of your waist underneath the blanket.

your bodies are flush against each other, your breaths mingling in the sliver of air between you. jackie’s eyes widen a fraction as you turn, her hand instinctively tightening its grip on your waist. the shift in your position has brought you even closer together.

her hand slides further, fingertips tracing over the shape of your hip. “you’re still cold,” she murmurs, her voice low and hushed in the quiet cabin. her eyes rake over you, her gaze lingering over the curve of your lips.

“it is cold in here” you point out, shivering at the realization of her wandering eyes. jackie isn’t exactly subtle about it either. after all, there’s not much she’s ever wanted that she didn’t get.

her touch is moving from your hip down to the curve of your thigh. her fingers dance over the fabric of your pants underneath the blanket. she’s still fixated on your mouth, her breath hitching as she sees the way you shiver under her gaze.

jackie leans in a little closer when she feels the way your legs fall open under her hands, her lips nearly brushing against your ear as she whispers, “you know, i think i’ve got a few more ways i could help warm you up…” her hand moves again, sliding further up your thigh.

it’s pathetic, really. it’s a desperate attempt to cling to normality. to feel wanted in spite of everything. it’s a short moment in the terrors of the wilderness that she won’t speak about in the morning. but, fuck it, you’re willing to take it.

your breath hitches in your throat when jackie’s hand inches up your leg, a small noise slipping from your lips. immediately, jackie hushes you.

“sh” she says, eyes darting to where the others are fast asleep. “we have to be quiet” and with that, your last restraints are gone. it only confirms what jackie is up to right now -if it hadn’t been clear yet, it certainly is now. and while you know, rationally, that this is a bad idea, the need to feel someone’s touch is too strong for you to neglect it any longer: awkward attempts of trying to get off under the covers whilst everyone else sleeps are clearly not doing enough for you.

at least jackie seems to be on the same page.

you both shift and adjust against each other. it’s a little clumsy, and it takes a moment to find a good position, but it’s driven by the need for something you’ve both been craving, so you make it work. before you know it, jackie lingers above you in a way that has her center pressing against your own under the sheets.

she exhales a shuddered breath and your hands jump up to hold her hips. your eyes are wide as you stare up at her, partly in disbelief that this is happening, mostly because you can’t believe that jackie wants you like this.

jackie leans in, not kissing you yet, but with her arms bracing her weight on either side of your head, caging you in. her eyes are dark, her gaze flickering over your features in a way that makes your stomach flip.

beneath the covers, her legs shift, her body pushing further into yours, grinding against you for the first time, in a way that is deliberate and calculated. her breath stutters, her voice hoarse as she speaks, “you’ve gotta be-” she gasps, and bites her lip, resisting the moan that threatens to escape. “quiet”

oh, how you wish you could’ve met her under different circumstances. how you wish jackie could’ve wanted you like this all the way back home, so you could’ve heard the way she sounds when she’s moving on top of you.

when you finally come back to your senses, you decide to make the most of this opportunity. holding her hips a little tighter, you lift your own from the ground to meet her halfway.

jackie, who’s only ever known sex to be something merely mediocre, is surprised that grinding against you (fully clothed, and in a room full of sleeping people that prevent you from going all the way) is already better than anything she’s ever had.

she shivers as you take the initiative, matching her movements with a gasp that she barely manages to bite back. she arches into you, her body moving steadily now.

her hands slide up your sides, fingers slipping under the edge of your shirt to feel the warm skin of your stomach. she leans in, her breath a shaky, quiet: “god, yes…just like that…”

you can feel your own underwear, clinging to your arousal which is growing exponentially at this rate. there’s no way you’ll last long like this, not when you’re embarrassingly close to creaming your pants just from watching her. each of your movements is mirrored by one of hers, until you’ve found a good rhythm to grind against the other. at some point, jackie’s body goes slack and she drops forward. you instantly hold her to your chest as she keeps rutting against you, moaning the faintest little “ah, ah, ah” sounds into your ear.

the friction between you spikes, both of you desperate and greedy for more connection. your hips keep meeting in a slow, steady rhythm, both pushing and pulling each other into deeper contact.

her hands are still wandering over your body, exploring every inch of your skin she can reach through the clothing that’s supposed to keep you warm but is severely restricting right now.

she draws you closer, her mouth by your ear, her voice a low, husky whisper, “i want you…i want you so badly…” she whispers. whether jackie means it or not, it works on you.

“don’t stop” you tell her, rocking into her equally desperately. at this point you can only pray that no one will hear the creaking floor boards. the sheets are a tangled mess around the two of you, the covers having slipped down to her waist as the heat between you escalates.

“jackie” you whisper, hoping the urgency to your tone will get the message across. judging by the way she nods erratically, that seems to be the case.

“yeah” she says, bobbing her head still. “yeah, me too”

you, embarrassed as you are, cum first. it’s quiet, your lips parted in a silent scream as jackie’s constant rocking sends you stumbling over the edge you’ve been toeing since she began straddling you. she watches you fall apart beneath her, not once slowing down or stopping altogether, determined to make herself cum too.

her eyes flutter and she struggles to keep her breathing steady as her hold on you tightens. “don’t- don’t you dare stop-“ she hisses, your pleasure not yet ebbing by the time she follows. jackie is beautiful, obviously, but you’ve never seen something that could ever compare to her when she makes herself come against you: her head falls back and her eyes close tightly. she’s biting her lower lip so harshly she could be drawing blood for the sake of not being too loud.

finally, after her body has gone tense for a couple of seconds, jackie slumps against you. she’s panting right into your ear, unable to speak as her orgasm washes over her. you can feel her thighs trembling around yours as she recovers.

for a few moments, the only sound in the room is the ragged breathing of the two of you as the silence hangs heavy in the air. the cabin is quiet, the rest of the team blissfully unaware of what just happened a few feet away.

“holy shit” you finally breathe, unsure of what else to do or say. thankfully, jackie doesn’t move away like a part of you had anticipated. she stays right there, on top of you, giving you the courage to hesitantly wrap your arms around her and hold her to your chest.

if you don't move, you'll fall asleep like this and the others will have plenty of questions in the morning. still, neither of you has got the strength to get up, to move away from the heat you're providing. your eyes grow heavy before you know it. it's the first night of good sleep in a long time.

[breadvidence]

Why each Jean Valjean can't fuck. And yet...

The Brick: The first time you come on to the man, he smiles. The next time, he gives you money (hey, you're not too proud). Then? He ghosts you. So much for physical prowess; the two of you never made it to first base. Whether out of choice, trauma, or authorial fetish, the man's a committed virgin. And yet... you have to admit, the sweet memories of how those muscles looked during the whole cart debacle have done more for your alone-time than some in-person performances.

'34: The strength, the money, the air of dignity—he's got the same appeal as the original, and if he embodies his sadness with the aesthetic of a melting candle, well, that's a phallic-adjacent image, ain't it? Awful shame he's just as caught up in his penance and his duty, too. With a sorrowful (if somewhat aggrieved) shrug, he's off to the sewers, and that's not any kind of euphemism. And yet... you've seen how he can balance a guy on his back and not bat an eyelash. A person has got to wonder about natural talent.

'35: You think you can get between him and that young woman he raised, do you? And yet... if you did, that's a lot of built-up frustration, isn't it? And he's mediocre handsome; maybe it's all a matter of how lonely the night is.

'48: You hear he's into this identity play, right? Well, you appreciate a man who can play a role. From all you've heard, it'll be as explosive as an inexplicable outbreak of violence in a foundry. He takes out a cane—hell, yeah. Then a pair of sunglasses—well, maybe—no—is he pretending to be blind?—is this ableist—?—you're pretty sure—good grief, this hasn't gone in a direction you expected. And yet... you know he got another guy to enter a hole despite there being zero sense to the thing; maybe the same will happen to you.

'52: There are men who could fuck if they could learn to appreciate what they've got, and this one can't; multiple boyfriends in the wings and what's he got eyes on? That young woman he raised. And yet... something makes Robert come home every night, doesn't it?

'58: What's he look like? what's he say, or do? You can't quite remember. You keep forgetting to add him to your body count. And yet... you can't actually say he can't fuck, with the memory so vague.

'67: This fuckin' party time rolls down the tracks until it drinks too heavy and falls right off. You can't even call it bad so much as absurd, but you can only go so far off-script before it's certainly not good. And yet... how many friends have you told about it, eh?

'72: Fucking a glacier would be a less chilly experience. And yet... he'll give you the silent disappointed daddy look the whole time, if that's your kind of thing.

'78: This fella's wearing a promise ring for someone else. Or, a sacred vow ring? In any case, he's pretty sure all that sweating and grimacing would be bad for his skin. And yet... there's a clueless virgin trope in a certain kind of fiction for a reason, right?

'98: His belief in worker ownership of the means of production and strong ACAB stance might get you in the mood, but this Valjean hasn't gotten to the point in his politics where he's unpacked the impact of heterosexism on his ability to express vulnerability, by which I mean he's absolutely not going down on you. And yet... he survives the story and still has time to learn and grow, and it's hard to beat a sugar daddy who hands out company shares.

'00: No. And yet... no.

'07: The impediment of being a cartoon aside, makes it real hard to be skilled when his mustache mostly stands in for his mouth. And yet... the potential of cartoon physics, am I right?

'12: With that little fluid in his body the only flag this babe's raising is at low tide in a dry-dock. And yet... your nostalgia does a lot to shine a positive light on the performance he can muster.

'18: I've seen what it looks like when he roars into a mattress and can tell you not to bother; nobody's that frustrated who's been having a good time, and he'll pass the energy along. And yet... maybe I would have a different opinion if I'd been viewing him from behind?

[problemnyatic]

mythologizing abuse as this horrible thing that only evil, malicious Abusers do to Innocent Victims is a really, really dangerous way of thinking. You have to recognize that anyone is capable of causing harm, and that it is possible to address it and improve as a person after hurting someone.

This idea that harm is an Evil Act that comes from Bad People, or makes someone a Bad Person is a black and white framing that makes it incredibly difficult to actually address harm, and actually winds up protecting abusers.

Because that's just not how it works. It's not an accurate model of reality. So subscribing to it gives you some dangerous blind spots; you won't be looking for signs of abuse or harm from someone you believe to be a Good Person, and the people around you are very likely to be afraid to actually communicate with you when a line is crossed for fear of being made out to be a Bad Person.

Abuse is something you do, not something you are. It has nothing to do with who the individuals are, it's a description of the impact certain kinds of actions have on someone else. The idea that believing something bad or doing something hurtful defines something intrinsic to the person in question creates an environment where it is impossible to grow or change into someone who no longer does those things or believes those ideas; you've condemned that person as someone Inherently Bad, what's the point of trying to improve if nobody will give them the benefit of the doubt?

And, more to the point of what I want to get across here, thinking like this is unbelievably stressful. It puts you on constant eggshells forever - cross the wrong line, and you mark yourself as A Bad Person, someone deserving of punishment, vitriol, rejection, every and any hostility one might see fit to throw at you. It's fucking terrifying, you wind up believing that any mistake could be your undoing, that you have to do no wrong, have to convince others that you've done no wrong, that you're a Good Person, not someone who hurts others.

But that's the thing. Nobody's perfect, it's impossible to be. You can't know everything before it happens, you'll never have all the context for something before having to make a decision. Inevitably, you will cross a line, violate a boundary, realize something you were taught about the world is actually bigotry, and that you never questioned it until now. And you will have to reconcile with that. You need to be prepared to face that reality, again and again, at any moment, for the rest of your life.

Far more often than anyone wants to admit, abuse isn't a product of malice or hatred, it's a byproduct of someone well-intentioned who for one reason or another has a mental block keeping them from prioritizing someone else's needs and wellbeing as necessary. They behave in ways that hurt and shut down their victim because they can't wrap their head around the fact that that's what's going on, that they're hurting someone. Or if they do, they don't believe that there's a way to avoid it, or fix it, or change.

The mythologized model of the Evil Abuser who hurts the Innocent Victim because they're a Bad Person is more likely to create that exact kind of mental block than it is to protect anyone from harm. It makes every mistake the end, a personal apocalypse that collapses the situation around your feelings rather than addressing the harm done. It's dangerous.

Let go of the idea of Good People and Bad People. We're all just people, and we're gonna hurt each other sometimes. It doesn't need to be anything more than that. You can apologize, and try to change. You can be imperfect and still worth loving. If someone asserts otherwise, that says more about them than it does about you.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 54

First / Previous / Next

Gord's long strides thundered over the deck plates as he made his way up to the Command Deck of Home. Chloe was able to keep up, but a few others struggled, breaking into a trot or even a jog every few meters.

"Do we know who did it?" Gord barked, as he continued walking.

"No, Gord. Nobody has come forward with an admission or claim." Chloe glanced down at a pad as she talked. There were videos of immediately after the impact on Luna. Four massive craters glowed orange red, with text overlaid announcing death tolls. The camera cut to a shot of the former shipyards, debris spreading accelerating away. The announcer was listing off orbitals and stations at risk from the debris. Imperial ships were linking in, attempting to redirect the debris before it could hit anything else.

"Has the Empire stated who they think is to blame?"

"No Gord, not yet. It only happened a day ago though, they're still doing damage control."

"Has Fen said anything?"

"No Gord, the Empress only just returned from annexing her home station. She hasn't made an official comment yet."

On the Command Deck, Gord turned away from the Commander's chair and made his way to the executive meeting room just off to the side. There were already six people sitting, looking worried. Gord sat at the head and Chloe sat next to her.

"Gord! What happened? Was it us?" One of the AIs in the room, a young looking man spoke up, his eyes wide with worry.

Gord shook his head. "I don't think so. Nobody came to me with a request for a mission like that - not that I would ever approve it. We don't know who did it yet."

Another one, a woman with fiery red hair done up in a tight bun was next. "What about images or video of the launch? Do we have anything like that?"

Chloe shook her head. "No. It looks like the impactors each had their own wormhole generator, and they linked into Sol a million kilometers from their target after already being accelerated to 80% C. The targets had less than five seconds to react."

The group was silent. Nobody had realized that the impactors had linked in with no warning.

"T-This is horrible! Who would do such a thing?" An AI at the other end of the table, dressed in a grey suit spoke up. "Was it the Gren? The Xenni?"

Gord shook his head. "I don't think so. This kind of wanton destruction has all the hallmarks of a human attack. There are pockets of humans that resist the Empire, but I did not think any had the means..." Gord stops mid sentence. His eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything.

"What is it Gord? Can you think of someone?" The main in grey raised an eyebrow, curious.

"N-No." Gord quickly looked down at his pad, and flicked to a new page. "Just running things through." He looked back up. "What are we going to do about this?"

The woman in red looked at Gord oddly. "Nothing? As horrific as the attack was, it crippled the Empires war making ability. The most generous estimates are that they won't make another Super Dreadnought for five years. Account for retraining sailors and civilians for construction and it becomes ten years more likely."

Gord's mouth hung open. "You're not seriously considering that we don't do or say anything are you?" He stood up. "How many of you sitting right here were killed by the empire? How many of you were carried in my rucksack for a CENTURY?" Gord roared. The group assembled shrank back. "You all were rebuilt by me and Spyglass. What will the Empire do if they think we had ANYTHING to do with this?"

The silence in the room clanged.

"No. We're going to come out hard. We're going to make an announcement, and we're going to link Home to Sol."

Gasps and murmurs filled the room.

"Gord, are you sure?" Chloe looked up from her pad, worried.

"We must. We have to show the Empire that not only did we not use relativistic impactors, but that we're so horrified at their use that we will come out of hiding to aid the survivors." He looked at the group across the table. "Tell everyone. We're linking Home to Sol in 12 hours." Gord stood up and walked out, Chloe jumping up to chase after him.

They walked for a bit. Home was huge, and sparsely populated. They only had to take a few turns before they were deep in the old, original part of the colony ship. Gord touched a lock and it opened, old relays clicking loudly overhead as the lights came up. It was a running track, 5 lanes wide that seemed to girdle Home. Chloe looked around. "What's this, Gord?"

Gord smiled thinly. "It's part of the gym that was set up for colonists. I like to come here and walk laps when I need a quiet place to think... or a quiet place to talk." He started walking at a deliberate pace on the track. Chloe shrugged to herself and walked alongside him.

Halfway through a lap Gord said "Have we heard from Northern Lights since she and Zherun left?"

Chloe glances down at her pad. "No. Nothing."

"She was at the New Wellington attack." It was not a question.

"Was she?" Chloe looked surprised. "I didn't know she was that old."

Gord nodded."She was. She worked for Parvati then."

"She worked for them? I thought she was just that prototype starliner?"

"Oh sure, that's what everyone says she was. I'm sure she has some very nice cabins too, so that any inspectors who come aboard can see how nicely she's fitted out."

"Gord, you're telling me Northern Lights - Zhe and Fen's friend, who has been on the run from the Empire for more than a Century was a warship?"

"A prototype, purpose built warship. Designed to have the advantages of a Starjumper without the gigantic size."

"Then why did you let her take the ship? We had it here in our holds for decades!"

Gord shrugged. "I dunno. I suppose I thought she had changed. I thought that Fen and Zhe were good for her. Bringing her back to being around people, not always alone, not always on the run." Gord stared straight ahead, not looking at Chloe. "This attack has her written all over it though. She was against the impactor ban. She almost got tried for warcrimes after the destruction of New Wellington."

Chloe clutched the pad to her chest. She wasn't as old as Gord, but she was old enough to remember the war, and the destruction of New Wellington. Hell, she had linked there as soon as word had reached Sol and went to help survivors. It was her second wormhole link ever. In eight hundred years she had never forgotten what she had seen. "I'm going to kill her."

"I'd prefer you didn't, Chloe." Gord smiled sadly. "I'd prefer if you found out if she did carry out the attack, and bring her Home - intact - if she was the one who did it." He sighed again. "Though, I'd bet a gallon of maple syrup she did." Gord stopped right in front of the door to the track. "Take a ship, but go alone. Find her, and bring her home."

"And the K'laxi? Zherun?"

They walked together in silence for a few steps. "I don't care about her. Use your best judgement. But-" Gord held up a finger. "-Northern cannot carry out another attack. Be swift."

Chloe nodded and opened the door. "Coming Gord?"

"No, I'm going to walk a bit more, and then plan for what the hell I'm going to say to the Empire when we link an old lost colony ship into Sol and declare our intentions to help."

[predakings-den]

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

Word count: [1656]

Content Warning: [Sparkling deaths, grief, mourning]

He didn’t know…

Primus, how could he have known?

He emerges from the ground bridge, processor lagged from the unusual traveling method. Immediately, he perks up and for a moment, he couldn’t believe his own optics. It couldn’t be, but Shockwave is releasing the amniotic fluids from the containment chambers! It spills all over the laboratory floor in the hopes of ridding the evidence of the now declared failure of “Project Predacon”.

He stands tall, staring with wide optics at the sight of the Decepticon in the process of destroying everything in such a careless manner. “S-Shockwave… What are you doing!? It’s not time! It can’t be! You said-“

Another ground bridge opens in the distance. He charges at the Decepticon scientist, demanding an explanation for his actions but he runs, fleeing towards the active ground bridge. A swipe of his sharp claws but he misses and the Decepticon disappear. “Shockwave!” His vocalizer snaps. “No, what are you doing? Focus!” There’s even bigger issues to worry over as the fire spreads. With the chamber units decommissioned, the Predacon pups start to awaken.

He couldn’t save all the little ones. There are too many, so little time as he breaks through the glass of the chamber units, for some were too disoriented or weak to do so on their own. He couldn’t afford to be slow and careful as he pulled them out with his claws. They squirm and shriek, scared and unknowing of what’s going on.

There is nobody to blame but himself as he hears their cries, the flames reaching the crates of synthetic energon. There was nothing else to do but grab who he could and tuck himself into a corner as the cavern laboratory exploded, shaking the earth, and silencing the voices that were crying out for him.

Predaking didn’t want to look as the earth settled, but he could imagine it. Mangled corpses of Predacon pups. Dead. Gone. Another attempt to exterminate his people as Cybertronians did eons ago.

He has never felt so drained, weakened and vulnerable, and yet unharmed… His chest plating rumbles deeply with mourn and yet anger so easily replaces the need to grieve as the two Autobots, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack stand in defensive action.

“What have you done to my brethren! What have you done!?” His rage bursts, and his self-control is thrown away as he charges the Autobots, his massive frame barreling towards them with primal fury. Ultra Magnus hefted the golden Solus Hammer, its weight balanced in his servos as he prepared to meet the Predacon head-on.

With a thunderous clash, Predaking swung his claws at Ultra Magnus, the force of his blow sending shockwaves rippling through the air. Magnus braced himself, bringing down his hammer with all the strength of a Wrecker Commander. The impact reverberated through Predaking's frame, but he refused to relent, snarling and swiping at his adversaries with determination.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack danced agilely around Predaking's attacks. With a flick of his wrist, he unleashed his electrical whip, crackling with energy as it lashed out towards Predaking's vulnerable joints. But the Predacon's instincts were sharp, and he twisted away just in time, his claws grazing Wheeljack's armor as he countered with a powerful swipe.

The cavern echoed with the clang of metal on metal, the whir of servos, and the roar of engines as Predaking fought with all the fury of his kind. But Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack were seasoned warriors, and they met his onslaught with skill and determination, each blow calculated to weaken and disarm their formidable foe.

Yet Predaking fought on, driven by a primal need to protect his kin and avenge his fallen. With every strike, he pushed himself beyond his limits, tapping into reserves of strength and rage he never knew he possessed.

As Predaking fought with all his might, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack began to gain the upper hand. Despite his ferocity, Predaking found himself outmaneuvered and overwhelmed by their combined assault. Ultra Magnus's giant hammer crashed down on Predaking's armor, sending him staggering back, while Wheeljack's electrical whip crackled around him, sapping his strength.

In a desperate bid to turn the tide, Predaking lunged at Ultra Magnus, intent on taking down the Autobot Commander. Suddenly, amidst the chaos, a cry pierced the air, the plaintive wail of a Predacon sparkling, calling out in fear and desperation. Predaking's optics flickered with alarm as he caught sight of the small figure darting dangerously close to the fray, as if to protect the larger Predacon with her tiny claws and squeaky chirps.

At that moment, something primal stirred within Predaking, a protective instinct that transcended his own pain and fury. With a roar, he threw himself between the sparkling and Ultra Magnus, shielding the young one from harm as he braced himself for another onslaught.

But in his weakened state, Predaking was vulnerable, and the hammer struck true, its impact rippling through Predaking's frame. With a roar of agony, he collapsed to the ground, his systems flickering as he fought to remain conscious. Meanwhile, Ultra Magnus recoiled in horror, realizing the danger he had unwittingly posed to the innocent Predacon.

The Predacon pup, as brave as she tried to be, whimpers and nudges her helm against Predaking’s.

Predaking lifts himself, joints groaning in protest, and his system warnings blaring. Still, he has enough sense to rise to his pedes upon seeing Optimus, who had arrived to the sudden conflict. His blaster is out, but nobody moves an inch.

The large Predacon did not have any time to continue fighting, when it’s much too dangerous and his injuries could end up severe. He transforms back and slinks to the huddle of trembling pups. Gently, he opens his mouth and carries them in his maw as a mother would to her little ones.

Without words, Optimus allows Predaking to escape, watching stoically as the draconic being soars into the open skies.

Landscapes of desert mountains and rocks shift into a forestry background. Predaking lowers himself towards a small clearing near a lake. His chest rumbles in a painful warble as he bows his helm and opens his mouth, permitting the little ones to squirm and crawl out onto the grass.

He quietly counts, and claws at the ground in anger. Not even half, Predaking saved… He refused to wallow in his own grief, not when his warmth and protection was needed right now.

He has received no communication with the Nemesis, radio silent. Nothing felt just, dragging his weary paws to check their condition. Spark aching, the Predacon lowers his helm and starts prodding them with his snout. They are in unfamiliar surroundings and desire guidance that he wasn’t equipped to give them. Cold, hungry, and chirping in fear.

What was he to do, losing everything and protecting what was left after the Decepticons discarded him with such ease.

Back amongst the Autobots, Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack get treated for their injuries. The Autobots gather in the medical bay as Ultra Magnus reports what had happened deep in the caverns. It becomes clear that Optimus’s decisions are being called to question.

“Prime, sir. You saw what was in the caverns. They weren’t grown Predacons, weapons for Megatron to exploit, but pups… sparklings…” It had been far too long since he had heard one chirp before. Ultra Magnus steels his regret, but everyone else seems to share his grievances. They haven’t had the presence of a youngling since Bumblebee, who was born in the battlefield, due to the dormancy of the Well.

“How many?” Optimus asks tenderly.

“Sir, would it have been any different if they were adults-”

The Wrecker Commander interrupts, “14, and the 10 under Predaking’s care.” Ultra Magnus was always very meticulous about details, and yet he did not discern that the Predacons inside the chamber units were hardly younglings, due to their large plating and curled up forms.

“We can’t just have Predaking out on the loose! There are human civilians to think about here, Prime.” Arcee couldn’t fathom as to why Optimus had decided to do nothing and look the other way when Predaking flew to Primus knows where.

“And the pups? What, you want us to finish the job and blow their sparks to scrap, Arcee? Why don’t you do it then, since you’re so keen?” Wheeljack snaps at her with sarcasm, shoving one of his explosives in her arms. She knew nothing of what he had seen. They acted as any little Cybertronian would, not marred by war or harsh ideals.

Her optics narrows. “All I’m saying is that we can’t afford to be naive. They are not ‘pups’ or ‘sparklings’ but destructive creatures that will end up hurting others.”

Ratchet steps in between the two bickering bots. “This isn’t about assigning any sort of blame. It’s about finding a solution. Optimus had a difficult decision to make, but there could be a way to salvage it.”

Wheeljack, voice heavy with tension, clenches his servos into fists. “Then what’s the plan? We can’t just sit here twiddling our thumbs while Predaking and those sparklings are out there. Ultra Magnus and I fought him, and he wasn’t exactly all cheery about making peace. In fact, he only stopped when that sparkling ran straight towards the fight.”

“Look, I get it. Predacons are no joke, but I’m all for whatever Optimus believes is the right thing to do. He’s never tried to steer us wrong, and I’ve always trusted him to keep our morals from straying.” Bulkhead crosses his massive arms over his broad chest plating.

Bumblebee conveys his agreement through a series of beeps and nods. He trusted Optimus implicitly, as he always had.

Silence falls over the medical bay as the gravity of the situation sinks in. Nobody wanted to step over Optimus’s leadership, but what else can be done when the first sparklings seen since the dormancy of the Well are involved?

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm trans nonbinary and I really kind of hate myself for it and feel like such a fucking freak and I don't even know why because I didn't even grow up around a lot of homophobia or anything. I let everyone assume I'm a (trans) man because in my head if someone found out I was nonbinary they would just think I'm so fucking wierd, even when I'm in spaces or with people I know for a fact wouldn't actually think any of that. I don't feel this way about anyone else, just me. I'm really sorry if this is too much of a vent kind of thing I totally get you deleting it or whatever, but any advice you have would be really great.

I want to preface this by emphatically saying: Nobody here (least of all myself!) are judging you. I am sure many trans people who are following this blog know how you feel intimately. It's a consequence of the world we live in, not an intrinsic failure of character. I want to make this clear because you were incredibly vulnerable and I don't want you to worry that your vulnerability is a bad thing. It takes a lot to open up like this, no matter if you're on anon or not.

I've talked about this before, but this is a process that takes... a long time to work through, if I'm honest. I've been out since I was a young teenager, and now as an adult I still fall into the trappings of feeling similarly to you. What helped for me is to generally avoid judging myself for when I do feel like this. I think trying to outright ignore how you feel is very inefficient - I have tended to be a person who needs to feel those awful feelings so that I can look back and notice exactly what went wrong. I wouldn't specifically recommend that you do this - I have had many years of combating internalized transphobia to feel this is effective for myself. But, regardless of where you are in your journey of internal acceptance, I will advise this: don't judge yourself for these feelings. It is easy to do, but you don't deserve to have even more feelings of shame, isolation, or overall feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.

Often, we won't know exactly "why" we feel these feelings of internalized transphobia. For me, I also didn't grow up with outright homophobia, but I did grow up with the idea that I would only be loved if I was cishet, so when I discovered I was neither, it was jarring. I thought I would never be loved. And years later, I became open to the idea that I might have been wrong because there were people along the way - friends, certain family, strangers, even - who showed the love I felt I surrendered when I realized who and what I was.

It has helped me to expose myself to other trans people, as well. It's a delicate balance, at times, because there are moments where I find myself growing envious of another trans person for the way I perceive their own transition. It's a natural response, I guess, a natural human response that is amplified when you are part of a group that is often maligned. But I have found that the pros outweigh the cons: I see trans people of all identities now, trans people who look like me, who have incredibly similar experiences, who taught me so much about what it actually means to love and be loved. It's funny, because I'm largely a trans man (with caveats), yet some of the people who have deeply impacted me forever weren't always the same as I am (in fact, one of the first true "I look up to this person" experiences was from a trans woman who I still to this day admire and look up to).

I'm not going to lie, this (how you're feeling) is an incredibly common, but sometimes devastating result of so many factors. While we all go about these feelings in different ways, it can be hard. Therefore, it's important that we support each other. I want to offer my support to you, and let you know that you aren't going to be looked at by others in the way you might fear. It's hard to even conceptualize, honestly, but I am being honest. I understand that some of what I might have said won't resonate with you now, or ever, and that's okay. When we have a community to talk about ideas as a way of support, we can start to have more resources that we might be able to utilize effectively.

Your vulnerability right now isn't going unnoticed. It took a lot to express this, and I hope you might read this and feel even slightly better. I wish nothing but good things for you, nothing but bountiful joy and understanding that you deserve so much from this world.

[orangepanic]

Hey Orange! What are some of your favorite Irosami headcanons? Please share. ^.^

Thanks for the ask! Though this is quite the question since I've got about a billion headcanons for these two. But considering they don't speak to each other in the show, Asami is somewhat underdeveloped as a character (especially in later seasons), and Iroh has all of 2 minutes of screen time, the majority of their relationship is based on headcanons. So here are a few things that I like that I think are fundamental to my understanding of why this relationship works.

Iroh being a nerd: We all know Asami is a nerd. A pretty, successful, socially well-adjusted nerd, but a nerd all the same. So, her compatibility with Iroh is largely based on my belief that he, too, is a gigantic nerd. He reads tons of history and studies old languages and when he can't think of anything to do he often picks up a book. He enjoys puzzles and pai sho. He likes solving problems and gets irritated when he can't. More than any of this he's a thinker, an intellectual, and even with slightly different interests I can see him and Asami connecting well in the idea space. It's why one of my most common starts to their relationship is working together on Republic City reconstruction. I want them both to nerd out about traffic signals and then kiss.

Asami being in touch with her baggage: Asami goes through a lot of shit in LOK that seems to bounce off her like teflon. Death, danger, betrayal, responsibility, loneliness. In canon she's barely affected. But in a relationship with Iroh I think these events have more of an impact. She expects anyone after Mako to leave her, so Iroh has to put in the work to convince her that he won't. His ability to do that is I think one of the reasons they work so well as a pair. Iroh is as dedicated in love as he is in everything else, and after everything that's happened to her Asami needs a partner who will well and truly put her first. He exudes steadiness and loyalty.

Putting others first: One of the things I love about this pair is how selfless they both are and I think this forms the backbone of their relationship. On screen they both risk death to protect others and are the quick problem-solvers in the group working to figure out how best to do so. Iroh runs to the top of the tallest tower, making himself a target in order to get a better shot at the planes. Asami flies a biplane against a hoard of dark spirits when she really has no business in the water tribe civil war at all. Putting themselves in harm's way for the greater good is in both their DNA, and I also think they'd bring this to a relationship in a way that's important. These are two people who spend so much time taking care of others that nobody takes care of them - but what if they did this for each other? They're the kind of couple who can look at one another and say "I'd die for you" and mean it but when no death is required this turns into "I'll make dinner even though it's not my turn because you're tired" and "you look like you need a back rub" and quite a lot of very generous sex that's focused on the other person's pleasure. I want this for them. They deserve it.

Foodies: For no reason in particular I think both Asami and Iroh are insufferable foodies. They grew up rich. They're still rich. Asami spits out Gommu's trash soup. So they can and do afford to be choosy. I love this headcanon for them because it allows them to go on all kinds of fun dates, from fancy restaurants to exotic street food to delicious hole-in-the-wall joints to new openings around town. I think arts and culture are a big part of their lives, too, and imagine them balancing work and quiet time with a vibrant city life of restaurants and plays and gallery openings. It's also why I almost always keep them in Republic City. I think they'd both love the multicultural aspects of such a melting pot of a city as opposed to palace life in the Fire Nation.

[stonecrusherdrawsthearts]

World of Heroes R - X-Force

Ohaiyo, Dudes, Dudettes, and Genders that don't identify with Dude! The name's Deadpool, and this is X-Force. We're a group of highly trained mercenaries dedicated to getting the job done by any means necessary. Don't be surprised if the situation gets crazy, because that's where we get shit done!

MEMBERS

Deadpool - The team leader and the Merc with the Mouth! I used to be just another troublemaker on the street until I got my cancer diagnosis, and my dear old brother Slade (or are we calling him Deathstroke here) chipped in to give me an experimental treatment. The treatment didn't just make it so I could survive the cancer or whatever else life threw my way (mostly knives and guns) but it opened my mind to the secrets of the universe. And I'll admit, I got a little... nutty as a result. But hey, these guys trust me enough!

Domino - One of the first to join X-Force, a girl with a bit of vitilago going on that is extremely lucky. While I personally don't believe in luck as a superpower or even a concept, she does have a habit of surviving the odds with barely a scratch, and things do tend to work out her way. So maybe... yeah, no, Luck's a myth made by society to cope with the fact that sometimes you screw up.

Wolverine - Okay, I can explain. This guy ISN'T the same Wolverine that works with the X-Men, but rather a transdimensional duplicate brought here from a universe where the missions of the X-Men didn't have quite the positive impact they did here. He's been through some shit as a result, but the fact that he's here means he has a chance to remake a name for himself. Of course there is the complication that there are now two Wolverines running around, but hey. At least this one doesn't have to worry about taxes.

Shatterstar - Another of the first to join X-Force, Shatterstar claims to have come from an alien world and was one of its greatest warriors. Personally, I think this guy heard about the Kryptonians or Tamaraneans and decided to ape their choices to stand out. No judgement, just... what kind of a name is "Mojoworld"?

Colossus - Technically an X-Man I had regular encounters with, Colossus and I have become friends through the classic method of "we fight each other enough that we just kinda stumbled into a casual relationship." Sure, you look at the guy, you see a big hulking mass of metal in the shape of a man, and think "Oh, this guy must be brutal." And he is, but he often tries to excuse his own shortcomings by going on about what makes people heroes.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead - The one X-Man I can say is cooler than Wolverine on name brand alone. Sure, it's attached to a college student who never quite grew out of her emo punk-rock phase, but her energy manipulation powers make it fit like nobody's business. Y'gotta respect a girl who fits her brand no matter how little she respects you back.

Yukio - Negasonic's girlfriend, electrokinetic extraordinaire, and all-around sweetheart. I think she's probably the most chill person I have ever met, always facing everything, even my bullshit, with a smile on her face and a pep in her step. She's the kind of girl I know I'll always appreciate on my side, even if she dresses like a substitute soul reaper on the mission. Wolverine's a little more cautious of her for some reason, but I don't wanna pry.

[acti-veg]

Every time I see nonvegans calling us racist and saying we value non human animals over humans and talking about how indigenous people are often in situations where they need to hunt to survive (despite most of the people making this argument not being indigenous themselves), I think about this video we watched in my freshwater ecology class in uni that talked about the impacts of animal agriculture on freshwater systems and the disproportionate impacts it has on indigenous communities. This video had real indigenous people talking about the real life impacts nearby animal farms have on them and their community. In it they talked about how they feared for their health, how they were seeing how the pollution animal ag. caused deteriorated their quality of life, how they would beg the farmers to not spread their animals waste on certain days and how they would catch the farmers doing so purposefully on those days.

It just makes me feel so sick seeing this primarily nonindigenous audience so self assuredly talk over indigenous voices about their own issues and pat themselves on the backs while doing things that actively support and contribute to the issue. I'm white and I would never dream of trying to have a voice in the vegan debate in indigenous spaces because it's just not my place, and yet nonvegans feel so entitled to do so and think they are fighting against racism in bulldozing over actual indigenous people.

So many of these people talk about indigenous culture and lives in such an abstract way too. It reminds me of how health teachers in schools talk about LGBT+ people. Talking about them like their existence is theoretical and purely for the sake of discussion rather than a group of real living people. It's just so dehumanizing. And yet we are the ones who don't care. Literally all I want in life is for people to care about one another and for everyone do try and do their best to live in a way that is kind to others and minimalizes harm to all living things. But the people calling that wish racist won't do the bare minimum and listen to the people saying that this industry is actively hurting them.

The really important thing to avoid getting really angry over stuff like this is to remember that it's actually just an elaborate show for them. Nobody who has done even a cursory amount of research into the biggest threats to indigenous communities would be defending animal agriculture and blaming it on vegans; its all just a performative sham.

What it comes down to is the fact that they can't deal with our argument so they try to make us somehow Problematic so that they can cloak their discomfort in the language of social justice. It's the most banal and predictable response that it's not even worth getting annoyed over. They don't actually care about indigenous people, or quinoa farmers, or whatever else is their talking point of the week; they're just playing dress-up.

The indigenous people, the farmers, the 'children picking our crops' are not real people to them, they're just pawns. Sometimes they are literally made up, as happened with the quinoa argument, which somehow evolved from a clickbait article about Peruvian farmers being priced out due to western demand, to quinoa being picked by child slaves - which was never even the claim of the original (now widely debunked) article. They actually, frequently make up slaves to get mad over rather than discussing recognising any of the real victims of animal agriculture. That is the level of cognitive disonance that we are dealing with.

This performance is mostly directed at themselves and each other, rather than us, because what we advocate for presents a challenge to their identity as good people, as social justice advocates, as leftists, as animal lovers. It's why we see so much applause for bizarre and blatantly untrue claims circulated here every week, and so much aggression over seemingly obvious, basic facts when presented by vegans. If you can understand that it is just for show then you can put it in the proper context and find it pitiable rather than infuriating.

[deduction-substitute]

We start in the dark. When the light comes on, we see four people sitting on a couch. Two sit next to eachother; a blonde woman with a camera in her lap and a brunette man with a book in his. On the arm rest next to the woman, a little girl sits. She kicks her legs and has a doll. On the back of the couch, another brunette man sits, hair messy and sillhouette disctintly different. It's implied that there's something in his lap as well, but we cannot see it: his back is turned to the audience, turned to the others.

"What do you think the meaning of life is?" Asks the woman.

"A complicated question. I suppose the meaning of life is the impact each creature of the world has on its surroundings. From microbes and plants to animals and humans, each make life 'meaningful'. Does that answer satisfy you?" The man responds.

"What does that mean?" The little girl asks. Nobody answers.

"Let me rephrase, what do you think the meaning of your life is?" The woman tries again. The man stays quiet, then sighs. Such a loathsome question, yet he could never disregard her. "It's to lose. All I've ever done is lose. What about your life? Could you answer this question yourself?" The little girl speaks before the woman can. "Meeting new people, learning things, sharing my interests." "Finding the truth. About everything. A lie will never be as nice as the truth once was." The man on the backrest snorts, then leans to the little girl with a stage whisper. "I liked your answer a hell of a lot better." The girl giggles in response.

Both the man and the woman look uncomfortable and irritated. They hadn't expected anybody else. "Why are you here?" The man barks. It's more defensive than harsh. "A mix of both your reasons, I guess. Finding what's lost." "Could you please leave?" The woman pleads. This is not his conversation, he should not be here. "If I could, do you really think I'd still be here after all this time? Do you think she'd still be sitting next to you?" "I want to go play. I don't like this conversation. I want to go outside." The little girl laments. "I'd rather stay in. Whatever's out there isn't meant for me either." The unseen man sighs. "At least sit where we can see you. If you're going to be butting into our conversation, it would only be polite to face us." The man concedes. "There isn't any room on the couch left, unless you wanna cuddle up. The armrest can hold the kid, but I'm a bit heavier than that." The man is right. The two people on the couch nearly sit shoulder to shoulder. A third person would be uncomfortable. All of them relent. "What would you say my purpose is, Orpheus?" The woman asks. "Verity, you are verity." "Then you are fiction." "What am I?" The little girl asks. The hidden man answers. "I think you're history." "Then what are you?" "I don't know. What am I, oh wise members of the couch assembly." It's sarcastic, but not in a mean way. He's simply joking. "Redundancy, a trial, a mistake, a Chekhov's gun, a martyr." The man answers. "A mystery, a blank slate, an outlier, evidence, a clue, an enigma, something better left uncovered." The woman guesses. "Funny, odd, kind, sad, tired...fractured." the little girl ponders. "All those different answers. I think I'll stick with lost if you don't mind. By the way, I think all of you are human. Your purposes are to live happily." The lights fade out again. Most of the people take this in stride. We hear the hidden man one last time. "Fuck, it's so dark." He sobs. It's so dark.

SAN WHAT DOE STHIS MEAN

SAN

SAN

SAN?

everyone giving complex answers and lucky just going "you're all human" san what does thi s mean

[mochiwrites]

I don't think I quite have all the words I want to say- But my goodness if this is gonna be long.

Your writing is gorgeous. And you can take all the time you need on it if it means you can be proud of it and enjoy it as much as I do. When I read Songbird, the characterization was genuinely on point and made complete sense for all of them. I love their unique ways of going about things and how anything they do can be led back to the concept of cause and effect. Idk, I like how despite all the traumas they experience, all the fear, all the blackmail, and wondering if tomorrow will even exist, the one constant they can look forward to is each other. They're hurt, lonely, confused. But they can hold each other's hands and tell the other it'll be okay. (ALBEIT THE RECENT CHAPTER HAS GOT ME IN SHAMBLES THANKS A LOT???) I genuinely love the way you write them all. Grian has got his iconic sass and is always on the go, moving around. He's curious. So curious that it leads him to find people he wants to protect. He wants to do something. He wants validation and to know he's doing things right. He's only human, but since when did that stop him from playing a game way beyond his understanding? Mumbo is lonely and filled with his past mistakes. He pushes away until he realizes he can't anymore. And he lets the light in. The only light he can look at. He grows attached. He's easily flustered, gets snarky, and gets surprised, he's painfully human despite how much he says he's a monster. And I think that's what has gotta hurt about the most recent update. The only humanity he could look forward to, not his own, but another- Possibly gone.

Scar's development is so interesting. He's perfect in every way. He knows what he's doing and doesn't hesitate to do it. Until he does. And just like Mumbo he's grasping for that light to hold onto, but in turn, he crushes it in his palm, only feeling the warm memory of what it was like to be looked at as himself and not a monster. I find your play on words so incredibly fascinating. Fae have such a connection to identity. Scar identifies with a word Grian refuses to call him. Something he was consistently called by so many people until he got a gentle look of determination and care that shattered down his walls. That made him feel with his non-existent "soft human heart". Being taught that identity is what you make of it, and it's up to you and nobody else to decide what you are. But he can't go through with it. Because it's not his choice.

RAAA!!!! I'm so sorry for the long message but I'm such a sucker for your writing and I will probably write more in your dms soon if you're okay with it. But seriously, your writing has got my brain ticking around the clock. Every second of waiting is worth it if you can hold your story in your hands and tell yourself, "I'm proud of this." Because you should be. (Plus, it gives me more time to plan art pieces BNFJBN)

WAILS AND SOBS AT YOU???? REALLY LOUD????

uwahhhhh thank you sm 🥺💕💕 everyone's characterization is something I keep in mind all the time, with every action or thought they may have and ueueueue I'm glad they feel true to their characters. there's just something about like... experiencing so much bad and evil together, but knowing with certainty that the people around you will be there at the end of the day.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM,,, WAILS. grian and his stubborn curiosity but determination to protect and help. yet he's still so pesky and sassy and the impact he has on mumbo and scar is so important. so so so incredibly important. I genuinely don't think the songbird story would hit the same way if he wasn't human.

and mumbo ;-; he has such a kind heart but he's filled with guilt and regret that he pushes people away. and the thing that gets me with him is like,,, he tries so hard to squash that innate kindness, yet he can't help but give that kindness out anyways. and that's so painfully human??? I love sb!mumbo a lot, sad little vampire man.

theN THERE'S SCAR. SCAR WHO I WANT TO SHAKE AROUND SOOOOO AFFECTIONATELY I PROMMY. he's a character that is SO incredibly interesting to me both to study and write and I love how he's developing in the story. we're finally approaching the point in the story where we really see the goodtimeswithscar that we all know and love, and I'm so jittery about revealing his backstory. scar's connection to his identity is so... AUGH. AUGH. I love him ( even while he's making terrible mistakes rn <3 )

but,,, sobbing so incredibly loud at you 🥹💕💕 songbird is very precious to me and I am so proud of it. so incredibly proud of it. long message is 100% welcome, and please!!! feel free to wiggle on into dms :D (and sobs??? plan art??? soBS????)

[djcube1701]

Secret Level: Each Episode from Worst to Best

Amazon’s Secret Level is a collection of shorts based on various video games. For the most part, they’re alright, but many don’t work that well as shorts, feeling like something chopped out of a larger piece. A few do stand out as great pieces of work. Here’s some quick reviews of them in order of worst to best.

15. Playtime: Fulfilment

This episode was marketed as a big PlayStation crossover, with many (myself included) presuming that the makers of Secret Level accepted making an advertisement for Concord in exchange for letting them ust PlayStation characters. 

Playtime follows a bicycle courier in a world where mobile games with lots of noise and grinding have become augmented reality as a way of life. A stranger offers her a package when she starts getting attacked by PlayStation characters. First are some armoured goons (my only guess is Killzone) then a colossus from Shadow of the Colossus, which turns out not to be a huge threat, then the courier just drives past Kratos. Eventually, Sackboy just drifts past. Not only have they no relation to the story, but they’re not even obstacles. 

The main villain is actually the courier’s assistant bot, which hates the Courier cheating and having fun in a different way. At the end the lesson seems to be “don’t forget your nostalgic PlayStation memories”, yet there’s little nostalgia to be had in this. This felt like one of Sony’s old strange PlayStation adverts, although even then it would be a poor one.

14. Warhammer 40,000: And They Shall Know No Fear

One thing Secret Level has in many of its episodes is that it doesn’t do enough to get people invested in the characters for the events to matter. I can only presume that the main character is an existing character elsewhere in 40K lore. 

For the most part, this is mindless and meaningless action. It’s full of gore and violence to the point that it has zero impact. The second half has the marines face some kind of fear demon. There are some stunning looking visuals, but nothing really made a connection to me. The narration talks about a life of war and conquering fear due to this, but none of this is shown in the short.

13. Armored Core: Asset Management

Keanu Reeves is a tough, grizzled mech pilot that feels unattached to everyone else as he was connected to his mech in a way that has now been lost. Part of the core of the mech has somehow joined him and speaks to him.

The problem with this one is that the episode is mostly comprised of unnatural exposition. We’re told things instead of getting shown them, and this suffers the same issue as many in that it feels like we’re jumping into the story at the wrong place, only in this one, the exposition reminds us that this is the first time the audience is seeing this character. 

The battles are also poor as we’re only told of the dangers and limitations of what is going on. 

12. Crossfire: Good Conflict

I know nothing of Cossfire, but the ongoing theme from everyone involved is “we’re not the bad guys”. It takes place as someone is escaping an abandoned city (I have no idea why there’s nobody else there) and hiring a squad to take him. He has a mysterious briefcase he needs to take with him as he escapes something unknown, and the only thing we find out is that it could be dangerous in the wrong hands and is warm.

It’s just two small military squads attacking each other, each believing that they’re the ones doing the right theme. This is certainly a potentially interesting thing, but without any information on the motives of anyone involved, it doesn’t carry much weight. 

11. Sifu: It Takes a Life

This certainly has a nice visual style to it, but is another one that has no substance to it. The twist of Sifu is that each time you die, you come back to life as an older version of yourself, so this is about one afternoon of revenge turning into someone wasting away most of his life 

The big problem is that the episode doesn’t really have time to dwell on the questions it has of “was it worth it?”, and the fact that it tries to be philosophical kind of takes a lot away because it just doesn’t work. The audience feels like nothing has really happened, especially as the fight with the guy the main character was hunting for is skipped.

Was this supposed to create an unsatisfying ending so that the answer to the question is that “no, this episode was not worth the time”?

10. Spelunky: Tally

This episode also plays around with video game respawning, as the main character of Spelunky 2, Ana, dies again and again. Although, with the main character being a child, we’re spared the gore and are shown implied deaths. This game talks about roguelike mechanics of respawning and how each “run” is different, but you could easily replace Spelunky with any other roguelike and nothing would change.

The message is also confusing. The “mentor” character, Liz, talks about Ana being too lighthearted about everything and not caring about dying, and that death should have a much bigger meaning. Then when Ana breaks down from one too many deaths, Liz then talks about how the deaths don’t matter, as you get to enjoy a whole new adventure. 

9. Exodus: Odyssey

Exodus seems to be a game that doesn’t even have a release date yet. It’s from “some ex-Bioware” staff. From this, I’m quite surprised that Drew Karpyshyn is involved as the world in this short is incredibly bland, less interesting than the world of Anthem. 

The main gimmick seems to be focusing on time dilation, with the story focusing on a father searching for her daughter (who has gone into space searching for adventure), with him spending years of time dilation as his daughter ages. The big problem is that it seems to ignore the daughter’s own travel, as they go the same route for most of the short. The logic of this one just falls apart.

8. PAC-MAN: Circle

The Pac-Man episode actually turned out to be a secret trailer for an upcoming metroidvania called Shadow Labyrinth. It shows a strange man falling out of a tube of liquid, having the urge to consume other beings to survive and being pushed even more to do so by a mysterious yellow orb. 

The stranger eventually realises that the maze they’re in is actually a prison for this orb, and refuses to let it out, where it tries to take over his body to force them out the door. It ends with a new being being released from a tube as the process starts again.

It’s intriguing for its strange take on Pac-Man, but somewhat feels less unique now that it’s the prequel to an actual game.

7. Dungeons & Dragons: The Queen’s Cradle

This episode creates an interesting cast of characters, but doesn’t give us enough time with them. It even focuses on the least interesting character, leaving you wanting to know about the others even more. It portrays the world of Dungeons & Dragons well, and has some amazing visuals.

But it all feels like you’re watching it out of context. It seems to be written as though you’ve already seen these adventurers on a previous journey, like jumping into a series in episode 4. It even ends abruptly and in the middle of a fight. It did leave me wanting more, though.

6. Mega Man: Start

Just like Dungeons & Dragons, this feels like something cut out of something even bigger. In particular, it feels like the last part of a pilot episode for a new series. 

It’s a shame, as the snippet we see is really good. Dr Light’s inventions have been taken over by Dr Wily and are ransacking Mega City. Dr Light’s robotic son, Rock, wants to help but Dr Light refuses, before Rock is forced to combat Light’s last robot as it gets hacked inside their lab. 

It’s a fun fight making use of a few powers, and Rick is immediately likeable. The short ends up feeling unsatisfying as you want to see more.

5. Honor of Kings: The Way of All Things

I had to google what this game was after watching the episode. It’s some boring looking colourful MOBA game. Luckily, other than using a few place names, this episode isn’t really based on the game. Even the main character is someone created just for the collaboration.

Instead, this is a very artistic short that adapts the board game Go (also known as Weiqi). It takes place in a city that moves around, but has been having issues. Anyone can face the computer controlling the city for control, yet anyone that tries ends up insane.

The young hero we follow ignores the danger and tries to conquer the machine, not just to fix the city, but also for revenge as the city killed his parents. Throughout the short, we see (instead of just getting told) pivotal movements and the emotions the hero went through to become so determined to break fate. 

It’s a really solid thing that works really well as a standalone short. 

4. Unreal Tournament: Xan

The main character of this short, a robot called X4N, manages to portray more development and emotion with a single light than most of the other shorts combined, and our connection to him is what makes this action-heavy short actually work. The snippets of the world we see gives us enough story without the need for exposition, as well.

It’s an enjoyable and meaningful tale, and you don’t need to know anything about the source material for it to work.

3. Concord: Tale of the Implacable

Considering it took less than two weeks for Sony to completely abandon Concord and delete it, it’s somewhat ironic that the Secret Level episode for Concord is one of the better ones. Even more so when the big reason the game failed was its immensely boring cast of characters.

In this short, we follow a new group of characters, who are a group of misfits that are part of a crew trying to save their captain for the oppressive guild. One really fascinating thing about this particular short is that it feels like you’ve watched an entire film in just a short timespan, with plenty of twists, turns, funny moments and emotional moments. 

This shows that the world of Concord is actually an interesting one, it’s just a shame they couldn’t turn it into an interesting game.

2. The Outer Worlds: The Company We Keep

The Outer Worlds felt like Firefly with a bit of Fallout thrown in, and this short portrays that vibe beautifully. The short is a little snippet of the universe, following the journey of a garbage worker trying to follow the girl he loves, who left to become a scientist. He gets a job as a test subject for the company she works for, suffering a ton of hardship as a result.

It’s a well told and emotional story, with amazing visuals and plenty of dark humour and violence that actually works with the short. It works both as a new story in the world of the game and as a standalone short. 

1. New World: The Once and Future King

I have no interest in this MMO and I still have no interest in it, yet this short was highly entertaining. It’s about a king who loses his army as he tries to conquer a mysterious island. Despite this, he’s still determined to take on this new land for himself. He soon discovered that everyone on the island, including him and his servant, is immortal and comes back to life when they die (although reset to the beach they landed on).

The king is a kind of incompetent buffoon who is baffled that other people are better than him at absolutely everything, and Arnold Schwarzenegger does a wonderful job with this character and heightens the uselessness of the character. No matter how many times he fails, he’s still determined, yet it has a surprisingly emotional ending. 

It’s highly enjoyable and rather humorous, its only failure is that it doesn’t make me want to check out the game, the short works fine on its own.

[fictionkinfessions]

My friends know this story but I'll share it here too because it's so humiliatingly valid. This is long and silly and pointless but here we go:

I cleared my Tomodachi Life island to play a dating game. As you do. It's all I care about; who's going to get with who. What relationships will everyone have with one another?

I make myself. As you do. My mii says "it is lonely :(" so I make Kazuma. Which. I mean of course I do, but I had planned the whole thing out, you know? Yes I was making Kazuma next but I was also going to make a lot of My Kazuma's kins just for the fun of it. See which one won. So of course Base Kazuma had to be first, followed by some others. Favorites of mine, perhaps.

I make 6 others. Not too many, but enough. Enough for there to be drama. Hopefully.

There is not.

You see, upon Creating Kazuma, my mii was automatically introduced to him. It's just how the game goes. I knew this would happen but I figured it would only have a Minor impact.

It has a major one.

My mii would not leave his side. Mine was always at his apartment, or his was at mine. If they weren't there, they were out on the town together. An hour had gone by and they were already falling asleep on top of one another at the tower.

I don't really realize for the first hour or so. There have been Some breaks and one of Kazuma's kins has been making friends with the other ones, so it was only a matter of time. Even Kazuma himself was meeting others.

My mii did not. She met no one. Nobody came to her. She didn't go to anyone. At the rap battle, she stood beside - you guessed it - Kazuma, to support another mii. She. Would. Not. Part from him. (Which. Me neither, but still.)

Kazuma's mii, an hour and a half in, goes "hey I think your mii likes me." At this point I'm like my mii hasn't met anyone else. In your dreams, loser 😤!!! I don't want to ruin the game! I want to give at least SOMEONE else a chance!

No.

Four hours go by. (Yes I played this for 4 hours. I was also doing other things just.. Waiting for them to have needs. Yes it was pathetic. Don't worry about it)

Four hours go by and my mii gets The Bubble. She still hasn't met anyone but Kazuma. Everyone else has essentially met each other but my mii has not. Nobody else. No trial and error maybe friendships. No running into each other at the beach. Nothing. Just Kazuma. In his apartment, or him in hers. And she has The Bubble.

So fuck, right? I have no choice! I mean I could discourage it, but would that ruin Kazuma for the rest of the game? That seems unfair considering he won right out the gate. I shouldn't punish him for being too good, should I? I mean I want to, kind of, because he did have an advantage, but also hey! Maybe he'll reject me or something!

So. Fine. Whatever. I give in. She confesses and Kazuma says "sure" which. 🔪 How entirely dare you. And now they're sweethearts

Immediately afterwards, other miis start asking about her and trying to meet her.

Where were you!!! My date game >:(!!!!

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

[adonis-koo]

When I started binge reading Wicked many, many months ago, I sent in very long detailed asks almost every single day for each chapter as I was reading it. And I don't recall any of them getting answered. Maybe one or two. When I review a story or a chapter, sometimes it takes me like 45 minutes to put all my thoughts into an ask. I spend a lot of time on it. Eventually I started to realize I was wasting all that time sending in asks when they weren't being responded to. I was looking for the interaction with you. I wanted to have conversations about the story. It was very disappointing to me, and I felt like my thoughts and feelings on each chapter weren't wanted. So I stopped after awhile and just binge read the rest of it to bring me current with your last update. I think it stopped on Chapter 12 or 13. I left likes as I always do. I'm pretty sure I reblogged it at some point. So now I'm kind of confused that you're asking for readers to send in asks but mine never got responded to for some reason. I know tumblr eats asks, but it couldn't have eaten every single one of mine. Like I said, I was sending in asks just about every single day. I hope this ask doesn't come off as harsh, but I wanted to let you know how frustrated I was when I first started reading and it didn't seem like you had any interest in interacting with me. I very much enjoy talking with writers about their stories.

While it may have left a bad taste in my mouth, I still continue to read Wicked, and I have loved every single second of it. It's one of my favorite stories on tumblr. I am more than happy to go back to reviewing all your chapters. But it would be nice to see my asks responded to. Just like you as a writer crave interaction with your readers, I as a reader crave interaction with the writers of the stories I'm reading. There is nothing better to me than having a conversation about a story I love. So if you're interested in interacting with me on future chapters, let me know, and I will happily go back to reviewing.

First of all, I would like to truly apologize for not replying to your asks, I did dig a little and I was only able to find one ask that is an absolute shame to not respond too, as I had an entire reply in my head and was very excited to answer, but I can only assume I got caught up with something else that demanded my attention (outside of this blog), I do remember answering your asks before and can only assume some may have been eaten.

Here’s the thing; my blog vastly swings between an overwhelming number of people interacting to absolutely no interaction at all, I have very few people (and I heavily appreciate those who I do have) who consistently send in asks whom go by an alias or an actual blog that I can identify as regular. It’s just being jarring to watch, because then it makes me wonder if my chapter wasn’t well received, or the quality declined, or anything and everything that could make one chapter blow up and the very next a week later, completely bomb.

I have become very conscious of asks slipping through the cracks, and I’ve tried the last three or so chapters to make a conscious effort to answer everything single one before I post another chapter, to try and make sure nobody is feeling left out or slipping through the cracks.

I would also like to mention that me vocalizing this issue entirely excludes people who have reblogged my work, even if someone has only ever sent in one ask for an entire series is completely acceptable for me, just something. And even if I never do respond to asks just know that I never delete them because I’m a sentimental person and I still become nostalgic and go back and re-read them like it’s my first time receiving them.

I will always appreciate and feel the love of someone when they send me their words about how I personally impacted them with my writing and I will always cherish it, even if I end up forgetting to reply, or it somehow got stuck in my draft because I never fully finished my thought, or if it was buried and unable to be answered before the next chapter was posted. I cherish, every, single, one.

I am truly sorry that you felt frustrated and had a bitter taste in your mouth for me as a writer, it truly wasn’t my intention. That being said, I don’t really feel like I’m entitled to ask you to start reviewing my work again when my lack of consistency was the reason you stopped.

And when I think about it, I guess I don’t really have the entitlement to ask anyone to interact with me, after all, this is a hobby I do for free, I have to continually remind myself that this is something I chose to do because I want too, not because I have too.

I truly do thank you for the support you’ve sent to me and I really am sorry that I disappointed you as a reader, I hope you continue to enjoy Wicked and I appreciate that you spoke about your experience to me ❤️

[crocheting-cupio]

A response to my Downward Spiral uQuiz got me thinking, and then I realized I had yet to share my main motto. So I figured I should write about it a bit more in-depth.

(I remember I saw it in a comic many years ago, over my Mom's shoulder while she was scrolling through Flickr. The comic featured one person saving another from drowning in a lake, and the people were pretty simply drawn. Sadly, I haven't been able to find the comic again. If anyone else has seen it before PLEASE let me know!!)

My motto is: "You might not be able to change the world for everyone, but you can change the world for someone."

To put the phrase another way: You are unlikely to be famous and have a noteworthy impact on the world at large. However, well within your ability is to have a huge impact on one other person. One person who will likely remember your actions for the rest of their life. Good or bad.

As such, one need not be famous, even to a very small degree, to matter. We all matter to someone. It is statistically impossible to be unloved in this world. With this in mind, I approach others as if I am living proof of this. "YOU matter to ME, and I am not nobody," I insist regardless of if we just met or if we have known each other for five years.

More importantly, I survived through a time where I had no one. No friends. Bad relationships with family. Extremely bad relationship with myself. And when I crawled out I said to myself "No one should ever have to suffer as I have." And since have dedicated myself to becoming the friend, the person you look to for help, the light in the darkness, which I never had during that time.

And this is the philosophy which I adhere to. I think about how my actions could drastically change someone's life course. I could be the one who convinces them that not everyone is mean and self-centered. I could be the one to make awful days just a bit more bearable. I could (and have been) the one to convince them to stay in this world a little longer. And all of these things matter a lot to these people. At the very least I know I am not making someone's day worse, I'm just being a pleasant person to be around.

So that is what I do. I change the world for the better one person at a time. One act of kindness and respect at a time.

Most of the time I don't get to see the results, or even get something in return, but that is fine with me. I'm in this because I wholeheartedly believe it is the right thing to do with my limited time in this world.