#i will literally find a way to bring him to life

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

Please give me yandere scaramouche with spouse gn reader. Honestly it's been a while since I read any fan fic about yandere scaramouche haha,

Just some headcanons because writing is hard

Cw: yandere(kinda light??? But also not so caution)

It's amazing that he even considers marriage with someone since it's a pretty mortal thing to do. He definitely marries someone to keep others from them and to keep them by his side until he finds a way to bind them to him more permanently once he asends to god hood.

Very few know he has a spouse cause while he wants them at his side 24/7 he also doesn't want the presences of others to poison them or try to take them from him. So the only ones that know about his spouse are his most trustworthy fatui that he has guard them when he cannot be by their side and possibly other Harbingers who have caught sight of them once or twice.

His spouse would live a fairly isolated life, probably in some remote village somewhere where the most danger is perhaps a stray fox and most of the population is either too old or far too young to even be considered a threat. So they can be free to wander around talk with people and play, just live a pretty normal mortal life.

Sure this seems strange especially since he's allowing them to live a normal life but its not normal its just normal to them and thats just how he want it. All of their actions are reported to him daily from who they talk to, where they went, what they ate, how long they slept, everything.

But while he wants them to enjoy this normal life of theirs he also wants them to want more specifically of him. Want him to come by more, stay longer, spoil them with affection, just more more more. He wants them to long for him in his absence so that when the day comes and he's ready to become a God they'll come with him and agree to become his for eternity.

Anyone that flirts with them or any danger that comes by is dealt with swiftly. People go missing, bodies are never found, and rumors may start but it's better to have rumors of a vengeful spirit haunting his spouse or something than someone flirting with his spouse. It may isolate them a bit more but it all works in his favor in the end.

When hes able to get some time away and spend some time with them he's cooking their meals, telling them fabricated tales of his life away from them, being affectionate, and giving them whatever they desire. He gets high off his spouse asking things of him regardless of if it's something material like a new outfit or physical like a kiss, it feeds into his desire to be needed but also treated as someone powerful because he can provide them with anything they want like a God would.

His spouse would be aware of his harshness so it's not seen as something shocking if he snaps at a stranger that approaches them. He's pretty likeable despite that so besides them making a comment that he should be a little nicer they won't his his behavior as alarming or odd. Of course they aren't aware of him killing people or ordering others to kill for him and he plans to keep it that way.

I'd see that the only way for him to snap at his spouse and go full on yandere never letting them leave or killing them himself is if they say they don't love him. Like that would literally break him cause this is someone who promised to love him forever and for them to take that from him would be devastating.

As plans for his ascension get closer and closer to being finished he gets a little deranged as the excitement for what's to come gets closer and closer which might worry his spouse. But he'll assure them he's fine and that he's only this way because he's planning a trip for them. They have to be there for his ascension so he will bring them to Sumeru to witness this moment.

At this point if they weren't already aware he was a yandere they may know now but it'll be too late for them to run away.

[iratempestatis]

Heyy! How are u? I hope you’re doing well i saw you wanted some requests for xiao and i thought of an idea so we know xiao’s true form is a bird right? How about xiao’s s/o one day discovers it by an accident? Like maybe the s/o is an adventurer and was exploring around liyue in the night and happened to hear the whistling sound we hear in the game in liyue (the one where xiao calls for his dead friends) and the s/o goes to see what the noise is the rest is up to you

Entwined.

Xiao x gn!reader, 5.5k words. Some angst and then all fluff, it may not have been exactly what you wanted but I do hope you like it! I love bird Xiao <3 Feel free to send more Xiao asks! Rest assured I will write them even if it takes some time :3

Being an adventurer is hard work.

Find a suitable commission (which never happens), figure out any additional details (clients never provide enough info, especially the rich ones), plan your schedule, budget and equipment accordingly (it often falls short thanks to their unreasonable demands), finally carry out the commission (it often turns out to be far more frustrating and time consuming than you anticipated), get angry when the client stubbornly refuses to cough up the original sum of mora (this thankfully doesn’t happen as much), nurse your wounds (ouch) and worry nonstop about any sudden emergencies (what if you get injured? What’s going to happen when you get old?) You sometimes wish you listened to your family and became a scholar instead.

Anyway, you’re currently locked in a bitter battle with a rank one (1) asshole, so maybe you just have an unreasonably short fuse right now.

Some days past an old, rich Fontainian posted a commission at the Liyue branch of the Adventurers guild. And you were lucky enough to snag it. It was a stroke of sheer fortune, quite literally, too- if you could meet the client’s demands, you’d end up with a completely inane amount of mora. You planned on doing this mission solo- after all, any expenses incurred would be more than covered by the heaps of mora you’d be swimming in soon enough.

But some conniving liar told Katheryne you’d agreed to pair up with him- and she believed him before you could confirm it, so now you’re officially partners… which means you’re forced to share the spoils.

You’re so tempted to drop the commission altogether, but-

“But that’s what he wants,” you hiss, hiking up the trail along the beautiful mountains of Jueyun Karst. Normally this would be a soothing trip- Jueyun Karst is so glorious you sometimes wonder if the gods picked a random mortal’s preferences to model it after (yours), but today you saw only the bad, like the still smoking fires left behind by some careless brigands, and a dead mouse. You consider bringing it back to Changsheng as a twisted joke- no, she’d paralyse you. Best to focus on the task at hand. You go over the details.

The commission was vague (rich, old man), although a bit sad (old man). If you really did find what he want though (unlikely, vague request, but if partially fulfilled, you get half the mora) you wouldn’t have to work at all for perhaps the next six months (rich man).

Apparently, a long, long time ago, the rich old man saw a beautiful apparition in the form of a woman. Lost in the foggy mountains on a rainy day, he saw her seated on a tree nestled deep somewhere in Jueyun Karst. She apparently rescued his life, by appearing on a different tree each time he got too close, leading him out the valley. When he asked for her name, she responded with a mere scoff, then vanished for good.

You’re pretty sure that’s either bull or some ghost. Sounded disturbingly like an Inazuman tale you heard once. Either way, she doesn’t exactly sound like a normal person.

And he wants you to find her.

How are you even supposed to do that? The old man is decrepit, according to Katheryne, who (bless her bionic heart) tried her damnedest to convince him it was something out of the ordinary, and that he should give up. You agree with her- you’re pretty sure it was either a ghost (no finding it), an adeptus (no finding them) or an actual mortal woman (Xiao’s influencing you too much. You could’ve just said woman. Also, if it really was just a woman, which she wasn’t, she’s probably dead by now.)

But you didn’t really have the heart to tell the old man that. Or maybe you got a little greedy. But hey, he can afford it! And you just might end up end up giving his broken heart some closure, right?

You figure you’ll ask around, look for the grave. So far you’ve had no leads, besides some blue haired kid (with the ugliest haircut, you think, then feel bad for thinking that of a kid) lying to your face in an attempt to prank you. It’s so strange, because you’re pretty sure you’ve seen her-? Him? With someone important, in silks and brocade. You just can’t remember who… but you digress.

You’ve checked everywhere you could think of in the past two, almost three weeks. Nothing. You’ve even been to Mingyun Village- again, nothing. Right up until a child in Qingce told you she saw a similar pretty woman, on a tree in Jueyun Karst. Really.

You’ve spent days in Jueyun Karst, craning your neck and nearly stumbling down mountain slopes, eyes throbbing from the light, spine burning. But nothing. You considered taking the easy way out and telling him it was Cloud Retainer, but you’re an adventurer with morals and besides, anyone who’s met her knows she never stops talking. But on the subject of your quarry, why did that bitch find a nondescript tree to sit in every time? Was it so hard to just go sit on the big, glowy one?

“Old hag,” you mutter. Your calves feel about as solid as almond tofu right now, and your brain just as smooth. You have no idea how you’re going to do this, but. The mora.

You glance at the note Katheryne gave you. It told you just a few things- a dark haired woman in a tree, with hair that fluttered like downy feathers in the wind (poetic old man. Also rich, you remind yourself), pale, in a tree, nothing more.

You sigh.

At least Jueyun Karst is pretty at night.

And comfortable enough to camp in, you figure. Granted, there’s some treasure hoarders and monsters, but it is the abode of the adepti after all.

You shrug, and trudge upward along the winding paths. Darkness is gathering, but your eyes adjust.

Eventually, the lingering shadows cease to lengthen and melt into the darkness enveloping the mountain as a whole. You’re disconcerted as you start to make camp in a copse, but reassured by the small blaze you’ve lit to warm yourself at some distance.

Upon making camp, you settle down on the grass with a snack. The wind rustles through your little copse and you see the moon emerge, denuding its robe of clouds. Silvery fingertips trail across the land, painting, muting Jueyun Karst beneath its touch.

It’s peaceful, yet haunting.

What’s more haunting though, is the soft, yet somehow piercing, keening cry that wafts through the air.

It’s slow at first, just a trilling hum that gets clearer and higher with every moment before lilting and fading away.

You blink. You’ve never heard such a sound before. Is it a musical instrument? A bird of some sort?

You hear it again. It doesn’t start slowly this time- it’s high, all at once, then a low humming before rising in a wail once more. It sounds like music. It sounds like weeping. And for some inexplicable reason, you feel your chest tighten and feel hollow, all at once.

This is a bad idea, you tell yourself as you scrabble to put out the fire. You remind yourself of the same once more as you pack all your things (after you just made camp, too), fingers trembling, dropping things. Perhaps this is it, the maiden you were looking for.

You sling the bag across your bag with a force that makes you stumble, then start making your way up the hill.

Maybe this really is it, you think. In the distance you see tiny glows, nestled away across the vale. Probably treasure hoarders. For some reason, your heart aches.

It feels like you’ve been sitting stagnant for too long. Everything around you has grown. When you pull your hand up to wipe away a tear, you see it shrouded in spiderwebs. They reach past your ribs, to your elbow, to the rest of you. Force their way gently into your mouth, into your ears. They’re in your nostrils. You cannot breathe.

Arriving near the source of the sound, you sit onto the grass for a moment, to rest. The webs are swaying, scratching uncomfortably across all of you. Tightening and loosening and tangling, keeping you in place. You cannot move.

You’ll cut yourself.

Get a grip. Oh, Morax.

There’s a lull in the cries and your head feels lighter all of a sudden. You blink, then start to get up- utterly nonplussed, what are you doing here-

A sobbing, recoiling cry abruptly sounds from before you, the maker contained away in the hurst right before you, overlooking the valley. The moon skips ahead, weaves between the clouds.

Steeling yourself, heart racing, you enter the thicket peek behind the tree and look up towards the sound.

It’s a… something. A mess of tattered wings and bloodied feathers and too many eyes. In the night they all look black and silver, but realisation hits you with the force of a thousand spears- this is Xiao.

It’s Xiao.

Keening, weeping, alone. Seated on a tree, cradled in its branches. Shielded by its crown. He’s crying.

He’s crying.

He sheds no tears in his avian form- large gold eyes turned to the moon, muscular neck lain limply across a branch. You see his throat move and his eyes shut- eyes that are still gold, even in the dark- as he lets out another cry.

You can see his back and tail- the rest is covered by multiple sprawling wings. They’re dark. Looking at them feels as though looking at a human bruise on an oil painting. Disconcerting. The smoke coming off them makes them smudge into the dark, become one with it.

He’s beautiful.

But he’s crying and you’ve never known you could feel such anguish at someone else’s grief. Pain, sure, but this is something eyes. Tears well in your eyes to compensate for his current form. One runs down your cheek and it snaps you to your senses- what are you doing, just standing around?

You step towards him, arms outstretched, his name on the tip of your tongue. Your mind’s a mess. Vaguely, you can tell there is something amiss. Voices slither inside your head, voices that don’t belong, filling it up with murmurs in a tongue you don’t understand. Full of vitriol, they ignite emotions within you you didn’t even know existed. Grief so intense you feel as though your heart really is bleeding into your chest. Fury so immense you can’t help but slam a palm into the trunk of the tree next to you and gasp. They twine and twist into shapes and colours you cannot see. For just a moment, you’re blinded, agony blooming across your body. You shudder, gasp.

Something is wrong.

Your vision turns hazy- you glance up to see the bird descend before you, wings magnificently spread, beak- no, mouth now- open, crying out in alarm. You collapse into his outstretched arms and it feels like too much and nothing all at once. Warm water- warm tears- fall onto your temple as your knees buckle. You feel vertigo when he instead has lowered you gently to the ground. Just as you faint, you see him- mouth open, gritted teeth, face damp with tears. You say his name- at least you try-

When you come to, you’re in Bubu Pharmacy.

You feel so unencumbered all at once- the flames across your skin extinguished, the voices silent, the webs gently spooled away. Thank Baizhu. And you can see again, see normally, blind once more to the auras and colours mortals mustn’t see- or perhaps you hallucinated it all.

The old man from the funeral parlour- Zhongli, you recall- is seated on a chair next to you. His posture is a little slack. Sitting up with some difficulty, you see that his eyes are shut. The harbour is silent.

You glance out the window only to see the cheerless night sky mirror the inky ocean below.

Oh no.

You cannot delay. What are you doing here? How long were you asleep? You’re wearing loose, white clothes- who changed you? No matter. You need to find Xiao, because he was crying and your lungs feel like they’re folding in on themselves, and by Morax, he’s probably all alone once more, and you’ve added to his pain by being foolish and interrupting him as he vents in a moment of catharsis-

You stumble out of bed and look around to gather your things, then decide to just come collect them later. You’ve no time to waste. You hear Zhongli inhale deeply as he suddenly awakens- why was this guy in here with you anyways- and quickly bolt, locking the door behind you as you do so.

Sorry, Mr. Zhongli.

You regret not taking his talks about Karmic debt as seriously as you should have. You’re not worried for yourself- you feel much better already (you lift your vision up to your heart. You’re beyond grateful- it’s the only gift the gods have ever given you, their only gift that matters) but Xiao must feel abominable guilt right now. You must reach him, tell him you’re fine, tell him it’s not your fault.

You’re halfway across the main bridge on the northern side of Liyue harbour when you realise it’ll take way too long to find Xiao like this. You could call out his name, of course, but you don’t want to accidentally make him teleport and exert himself in the middle of a breakdown.

You run your hand through your hair, almost pulling it out as you do and glare out at the sea. From the corner of your eye you see the Millelith guards standing by the gate shoot one another unnerved glances, then turn towards you. What’s their problem?

Now irritable, you make your way towards them to politely ask what the matter is- but they clutch one another in terror and immediately start shrieking. You yelp and duck, looking around frantically for the danger. The guards continue babbling and pointing, then screech again as you panic and frantically crawl towards them. Maybe you’re a bit more disoriented than you thought you were, because the only people you see on the bridge are you and the guards pointing at you- oh.

You stop crawling and look at them, pushing back the hair from your face as you stumble to your feet. The buffer guard has the smaller one planted firmly before himself like a shield. You sigh and they squeak. Then the bigger one cries out-

“Adeptus Xiao!”

This bitch. You probably are delirious because by now you’ve lost any semblance of self control and feel nothing but fury. Xiao’s going through something right now! You’re not a ghost! Isn’t this supposed to be an era of mortals?

“COWARDS!” You howl, launching yourself at the duo and throw aside the shorter guard with a strength you didn’t know you possessed. Before you can grab the bigger one and clamp his lips shut with your bare fingernails, however, you feel slender, firm arms wrap around your waist and tug you gently back against a warm torso.

Xiao’s long, elaborate sleeve drapes over your front as he holds you. You feel his breath against your neck. You’re immediately consumed by worry so potent you can barely recall what you were even angry about. He leans into you a little and you press your palm against his cheek.

He seems exhausted.

✦—————————————✦

You ended up taking Xiao home that night- or was it morning? You wish you knew. All you do know is that he slumped against you and you half walked, half dragged him home, providing no explanation to the Millelith guards (they didn’t demand one either.)

Xiao drowsed off as soon as you got home and once you’ve sufficiently fussed over him, cocooned him in layers upon of blankets (it’s cold out) and put copious amounts of snacks and water on the bedside table, you make your way over to the couch and crash out.

Just in case.

Sleep takes you easily, pushing past your desperate, incoherent rambles, bringing your body some much needed rest. You awaken when you feel the sun jab rudely at your eyes with its bright, unswerving fingers.

It’s nearly afternoon.

You push yourself up slowly till you’re seated, checking for tiredness or any injuries. None. You’re positive this time- you’re in your right senses.

Your face flushes when you recall what happened yesterday. Or was it today? No matter. Praying to never see those guards again, you slide off the couch and make your way towards your bedroom.

Xiao’s upright, alert and giving his ungloved hands a glare so severe you nearly flinch. When he turns towards you, though, his eyes soften to a degree that might make one doubt him even capable of anger. You can’t help but mirror his softness.

You can’t help feeling a bit downcast, however, and you suspect it shows. Racking your brains for something- anything- to say, you part your lips, but only end up exhaling. You’re having trouble meeting his eyes. You suspect he feels the same.

You stand at the threshold for several moments before finally making your way in, and Xiao’s off the bed in an instant. You feel hands grip your heart and twist when he moves wordlessly across the room, away from you, gesturing towards the bed.

You hate it.

Xiao lives in terror of losing his loved ones- paranoia makes him check in on them from afar, gift amulets, slay any evil that might hurt them. Scores of times he’s caught you before you fell, warned you of danger, reminded you to take care of yourself before you even noticed something amiss.

You know him keeping his distance is him ensuring your safety. Him showing you he cares. It serves only to heighten your anguish.

This has been among your worst fears since the moment you began to care for him- that he’d consider himself a danger to someone he loves.

“Xiao,” you whisper, and your voice wavers more than you wanted to, is softer than you intended. He meets your eyes at that, finally, finally and your chest constricts at his wary gaze. You’re tempted to make light of it- tell him you’re fine, banter a little- but you know that’ll only leave him with a heavier heart, wondering when he’d hurt someone next. You need to address this now, for his sake.

“Hey.” You smile. Good, your voice didn’t waver this time. “Are you…” You trail off. How do you even begin to talk about this?

This isn’t awkward, this is a minefield, except it’ll blow up in his face if you mess up somehow. Your heart quickens.

You try to calm yourself. What does Baizhu say? Don’t borrow anxiety from the future? The future is in motion right now, Baizhu! Useless man.

“I’m sorry.”

You blink rapidly, nonplussed. “What—”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, in a tone so repentant you almost respond with a hurried ‘it’s okay’ despite him having done nothing wrong. Despite it all, a tiny laugh bubbles up in your chest.

Baizhu, that silly old man (he’s your age). You suppose he is right sometimes. (Always.)

You’ve both lived too long, have survived too much to worry about something as small as this. Sure, in a vacuum, it is scary- but truth be told you feel fine- in fact you think you have an even better understanding now of the agony that has become his everyday, that he has endured for eons. This is something you can fix.

You smile and make your way towards Xiao, draw him into your embrace. He makes a quiet sound of protest that’s promptly muffled by you pushing his head affectionately into your shoulder. He exhales, then kisses it and remains in your arms but makes no move to wrap you in his.

That’s fine. You exhale . Xiao feels your breath waft over his ear, your warm, chapped lips as they brush over his face, landing tiny kisses. Your heart continues beating.

You’re there, right with him. Safe. Alive. Alright.

You sway gently, just holding him until eventually he places his palms on your waist and draws you a bit closer, ever so gently. As though you were the soft, powdery wings of a tiny butterfly in the dry summer months.

Before he can apologise- you do. You’re composed at first when you murmur an apology and explain how you came across him- but quickly become teary eyed when you recall how he looked up in that tree, mourning, all alone. His heart hurts. He hates seeing you cry, hates that he caused it- but he finds it difficult to dwell on anything else but the fact that you saw his monstrous, contaminated form and thought him beautiful. That you instantly wanted to hold him close. He feels dizzy.

“And,” you continue, sniffling, “I couldn’t think of anything else. I just felt overwhelmed. I just wanted to- to comfort you.” You’re not going to mention the voices and the pain. Maybe in a few decades. Maybe on your deathbed when it won’t matter anyway. You hear Baizhu’s ‘tsk tsk’ in your head and some vague speech about trust and communication, but you don’t care enough about that right now.

“And then I fainted.” You shrug. “Then I’m guessing you brought me to Baizhu? But I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault at all. I should’ve known to be more careful-“

“Please don’t lie to me.” His voice is soft, strained. He wishes you’d tell him the truth. Was it that much worse? “Tell me what else happened. Did it hurt? Do you feel better now? I’m so-“

You clamp a hand over his mouth. “It’s not your fault!” You protest. “What if some Inazuman wrestler guy threw me at you and you broke your arm, that wouldn’t be my fault- shh don’t interrupt me.” You put your other palm over the first and he exhales, warm breath wafting over your knuckles. You feel calmer already. The wonders of Xiao’s hugs never cease to impress.

“And… yeah, it hurt a bit. There were voices in my head.” He looks stricken. You consider making a garbage joke to cheer him up, but remember you were trying to be a mature adult and sigh. “My body hurt, too. Is that what it’s like for you? All the time?”

He hesitates, but nods with a sigh. “I’ve had centuries to get used to it, however.” You wait for him to draw you even closer, but he’s just looking, taking in your features. He looks as though he’s reassuring himself but not with much relief in sight.

You draw closer on your own instead, with a snort. “It all happened so fast, though. And it… it sucked honestly, even if it was just a couple of minutes. I’m sorry it’s like that for you every day.”

“It lessens with good company.” He finally looks relieved- apparently enough to even jest a little. “Which is likely why it worsens with you.”

You gasp in mock outrage. Maybe Baizhu was right about this whole communication thing. This is going well so far- or maybe not, because the next thing to come gently out Xiao’s mouth is a request to not approach him if he’s having a breakdown henceforth.

“Sorry, no can do. Nuh-uh.”

You swear you see question marks form over his head. “This is not a ‘nuh-uh’ situation, (Name). You could die or develop chronic health issues.” He frowns. “I don’t think-“

“I grasp the gravity of this situation,” you retort, a bit frustrated too. “I’ll stay away if I see or sense the Karmic debt- I will make some other adeptus come to you, though-“

“You cannot make the adep-“

“I will.“

He sighs.

“And,” you continue, “I’ll keep an eye. From afar, but I’ll keep an eye on you and wait for it to be over, before I can come to you again. And if you’re ever sad in a more ordinary sort of way, I will not leave your side, no matter what.” You press your forehead to his with a quiet sigh. “Because I love you. And it hurts when you’re in pain.”

There’s a pause, with neither of you moving. You hear a group of teenagers laugh outside and run past the house. You wonder if that blue haired brat from earlier is with them.

Xiao exhales, then finally (FINALLY!) wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, impossibly so. You rest your cheek against his as he gives you a rueful smile. You’ve won! Ah no, what was it Baizhu said? There’s no individual victor in relationships? Damn, you’re a good student.

But seeing Xiao so close once more… you’re certain you’ve won regardless.

✦—————————————✦

The next couple of hours are spent relaxing, unwinding and examining one another for injuries (this is why you’re perfect together. Mutual respect? Mutual affection? Yes, but also mutual anxiety). A worried Baizhu also comes to pay a visit. He’s angry about you vanishing without notice but cools off quickly as you and Xiao assuage his worries. Changsheng is not so easily mollified and turns even more furious upon being called an ‘angry little noodle’ by you.

Come noon, you and Xiao make your way to Wanmin- neither of you are in much of a mood to cook.

Besides, your consolations have worked wonders and Xiao looks considerably calmer than he did in the morning. Not exactly cheerful, but a happy display is a rarity even on the best of days, so you acquiesce. He’s still careful and is being extra-gentle with you, but you’re glad he’s not blaming himself for not noticing you sooner anymore.

Unbeknownst to you, though, his eyes are on you constantly. Truth be told, he’s only really agreed to dine out in order to observe your movements, reactions to light and the crowd to check for any lingering effects of his Karma. You’ve decimated his morbid expectations though (much to his immense relief)- cheerier than ever, you buy bread and meat for any stray animals you come across, happily greet the friends you bump into and tilt your face upwards to bemusedly watch the clouds form increasingly obscene shapes (what are you up to, Retainer?)

He's a little stunned at how quickly everything happened- he expected his culpability to haunt him for much longer and feels guilty for getting over it so fast. It’s not that he doesn’t care- you matter to him more than anything in Liyue and were anything to actually happen to you because of him, he would truly would have lost the strength he used to cling to his brittle life.

It's just… a bit absurd. You haven’t raised a fuss at all about yourself, besides complaining a little initially. You comforted him instead, and were confused when he tried to reciprocate because “it happened, but it’s over. It’s not your fault and I really am okay now.” You seem to have meant it when you told him it was a terrible but distant memory. In your defence, the ordeal did take only a couple of minutes before he teleported you abruptly to Bubu Pharmacy (he still owes Baizhu an apology for dropping a whole human being into his arms and bolting).

So he allows himself to relax (the voices in his head tell him to split himself on his spear. He hurt you once, he’ll do it again. He imagines you screaming at them to piss off and ends up smiling softly instead).

He shakes his head when you ask what he’s amused about, bright eyed and curious and he gives you the fondest of expressions when you glance away and up at Katheryne. Xiangling teasingly gags at him from behind you, then yelps and runs into the kitchens to dodge Shenhe’s glares.

Xiao wishes you picked a table in the back- the Adventurer’s Guild is plainly visible from where you’re seated and something up there clearly has you distracted. No matter. At least now he can take you in without interruptions.

You look invested- eyes narrowing with amusement first, then further to slits with annoyance. Startled, he turns to see exactly what evoked such disdain from you, and his eyes meet that of a dark haired man, presently engaged in conversation with an elderly gentleman dressed in Fontaine’s fashions. Maybe. Those shoes aren’t fashionable anywhere, he’s pretty sure. Menogias would’ve wept.

The man that’s earned your ire happens to appear quite exquisite by mortal standards- handsome and tall and- Xiao shoots you a hurried glance. Yes, that’s anger, thank the skies-

“You see that guy over there?” You bring the glass to your lips for a sip before lowering it with more force than is necessary. “He’s the jerk I told you about. The one who’s stealing half my commission.”

Xiao blinks. “But he hasn’t found anyone according to the description, has he?”

You frown. “Obviously not. If she really did- hm?”

He turns in his chair to see Katheryne and the men approach- one barrel chested and tall, the other slight and elderly, shuffling along with the pace and gait of a caterpillar. When they get a bit closer, however, the old man stiffens, then breaks into a rapid hobble, before pausing right before Xiao and bursting into tears.

What the- this is fine. He’s not too close. Xiao is still and wide eyed like a startled deer. You bite back the urge to kiss his face all over, then fight the momentary urge to punt the old man as he reaches out to touch Xiao’s face, still bawling. Xiao jerks and stands. The man turns to you as you grab his arm and try to gently sooth him, smacking you away.

“Oh,” he blubbers. “So many nights you’ve haunted my dreams. How I’ve waited all these years. I knew- I knew-“ he coughs, vehemently shakes his fist to keep the rest of you away. “Don’t come closer! I know her- that’s the love of my life!”

Mortals.

The lovely maiden in a tree being Xiao did not surprise you in the slightest. It was a bit startling but you feel incredibly foolish for not connecting the dots earlier.

Pretty maiden up in a tree.

“Really, who else could it be?” You bite into the muffin you bought on the way home.

“Xi- Cloud Retainer.”

“Oh. Is she pretty?”

Xiao tilts his head. He’s adorable. You resist the urge to haul him back down the road for another meal- what a miserable date, that was.

After finally catching Xiao the old man first wept into his chest (he reminded you of an unused hair tie with how scrunched up and tiny he was. The old man, to be clear, not Xiao. Xiao is tiny bit firm), then clasped his clawed hands within his own soft, wrinkly ones (you’re glad Xiao didn’t forget his gloves and you can tell he’s even gladder) and begged Xiao to go with him to Fontaine.

Xiao’s answer being an alarmed, emphatic ‘no’ only succeeded in making the man cling tighter and cry harder.

You did start feeling terrible for the poor guy by that point, so you gave him a handkerchief and some water, sat him down and once he was finally calm and lucid, you explained to him that this was not the maiden he saw all those years ago, but in fact, your beloved.

Your kindness evaporated fast though when he smacked you in the face with your own hankie and swore to never pay you your commission. You left to eat elsewhere at that point. That sounded like a problem for your (rather distressed) ‘partner.’

Presently, though, you’re waiting for Xiao to tell you more about Cloud Retainer. You’ve surmised two things from his slip ups; she lives in the harbour nowadays, and her name starts with “Sh.”

You’re honestly convinced it’s Shenhe, and even more so when Xiao tells you she’s more imposing than pretty. When you tell him your guess, though, he gives an uncharacteristic laugh, so bright and warm. You want to store it in a bottle to sip it on the cold days.

When you tell him so upon reaching home, he just laughs again (!) and kisses your entwined hands. He prays you won't let go.

[moonmaiden1996]

What do you like best about Sanji and Corazon? 😊

Sanji and Corazon are two incredibly different but equally lovable and beautiful men. These men are given truly tragic backstories, and I genuinely believe they deserve so much love and happiness. I think that’s why I love them so much—because they will do anything to protect those they love, no matter what, and the way they treat you will make even goddess's jealous.

Lets start with the Straw Hat Chef...

Sanji – The Romantic Dreamer

What I love most about Sanji is his unwavering devotion and charm. He’s the kind of man who believes love should be celebrated every single day, and he treats you like royalty because he truly sees you as the most beautiful person in his life.

How Sanji Would Treat You

The Little Things:

Sanji has a knack for noticing the tiniest details about you. He’d know how you like your tea or coffee, the way you smile when the sun hits your face, and the songs that make you happy. He’d show it by bringing you your favorite treat after a long day, saying, “I knew you’d need this, love.”

He’d brush your hair out of your face in the wind, always carrying a handkerchief in case you need it. It’s the small gestures that would make your heart flutter.

His Culinary Love Language:

Cooking is his ultimate way of showing love. Every meal would feel like a masterpiece created just for you. He’d watch you take your first bite with bated breath, then light up when you tell him it’s delicious.

If you’re feeling down, he’d whip up a cozy meal, placing it in front of you with a soft kiss to your temple and a whispered, “Eat up, sweetheart. You deserve to feel as amazing as you are.”

Romantic Gestures:

Sanji would pull you into a dance in the middle of the kitchen, twirling you around as a love song played in his head. His hands would settle on your waist as he gazed into your eyes, saying, “I’m the luckiest man alive to have you in my arms.”

He’d write little notes for you to find throughout the day—tucked in your bag, slipped into a book, or under your pillow. Each one would say something like, “Thinking of you, my love.”

Why I Love Him: Sanji’s love feels like poetry. He’s so genuine in his affection, and he’d make every moment feel special, whether it’s a grand gesture or a quiet evening together. You’d never have to doubt his devotion because he’d show it in everything he does.

Corazon – The Quiet Protector

What I adore most about Corazon is his deep, quiet love. He might not be as outwardly flashy as Sanji, but his actions speak volumes about how much he cares. His awkwardness and soft heart make him so endearing, and you’d always feel safe and cherished by him.

How Corazon Would Treat You

The Gentle Caretaker:

Corazon is the kind of man who’d wrap his coat around you when you’re cold without a second thought, his warm smile reassuring you. “You need it more than I do,” he’d say, even if he’s shivering.

If you were sick, he’d stay by your side, fumbling through making you soup (and probably burning it) but refusing to leave you alone. “I’m not leaving until you feel better,” he’d say, his voice full of determination.

His Thoughtful Acts:

Corazon has a way of remembering the things you care about. He’d bring you flowers, not because it’s a grand romantic gesture, but because he saw them and thought they’d make you smile.

He’d surprise you with little adventures—quiet walks on the beach, visiting a spot he found while on a mission, or stargazing. “I thought you’d like this place,” he’d say, watching your face light up.

His Protective Nature:

Corazon would always put you first, even if it meant risking himself. If he thought you were in danger, he’d shield you without hesitation. Afterward, he’d pull you close and promise, “I’ll always keep you safe.”

When you’re anxious or upset, he’d sit with you quietly, holding your hand or rubbing your back. “Take your time,” he’d whisper, his presence grounding and comforting.

This man will *literally* die to for you

Why I Love Him: Corazon’s love feels like a warm, safe haven. He’s not flashy or over-the-top, but he’d make you feel like the most important person in the world through his unwavering support and quiet tenderness. You’d know you could rely on him no matter what.

I could never pick between these men, they are just so perfect. The would adore you and love you in every single way you need. Also... I am not sure what it says about me when these both smoke...I have no idea if that is a kink or not but thinking of these two is me living my best life so I don't care.

Love this ask! Keep them coming :P Any character..... I. Dare. You!

Like. Comment. Request

[lazysoulwriter]

Higher than ever. - Paul Mescal. +18! MDI.

okay thats.... if ur a minor, trust me, read this in another time of your life. feel free to ask me anything!

words: something like 1.3k

╭── ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ──╮

The sun was shining through your curtains, making you wake up from a hot dream with... Your best friend Paul? What the fuck? Your thoughts were confused but your panties are soaked. WHAT THE FUCK? 

Okay... He's hot. You can't help it but your mind leads you to him. To his body. To all the time you guys spend together. The way the touches you, hugs you and do ANYTHING for you. But... You were just friends. That thoughts have to get out of your head. 

You check your phone just to see a message from him. 

"heyo! u up?" 

"yeah yeah" 

"great. coming in 20. gonna bring some breakfast and a FCKNG nice weed that I found"  

You don't even have to answer. He's always like that, coming to your apartment with just a little warning. Never asking. — he doesn't have to, actually. 

You get up and go to the bathroom to push away those dreams, take a fast bath and get ready for the day with comfy clothes – a gym shorts and a white tank top. IT WAS A HOT DAY OKAY. 

You heard him at the door, calling your name instead of ringing the fucking doorbell. 

"Mr Paul Mescal, welcome..." You joke, giving space for him to come in.  

"Hello baby," he places a kiss in your cheek. Always been like that. "All dressed up for me?" He chuckles. 

"Fuck you."  

You guys sit on your couch, and started eating the waffles he brought. You could feel something different in the air.  

"Something happened?" You asked taking a sip from his cup of coffee. 

"No, not actually... Why?" He frowns his eyebrows looking at you.  

"Don't know... You seem... weird." 

"So do you!" He shrugs with a little smile on his face. Looks like HE KNOWS. 

You try to ignore that and keep talking to each other. He takes the things you ate to your kitchen, and come back to you smiling like a child. 

"Oooh you can’t believe what we're gonna smoke right know" He says taking his things out of his pocket. "Can I roll a blunt right now?" 

"Sure! Let's see this shit. 

When he was rolling, you started noticing so much his hands. The way his fingers were doing everything just right... You feel something weird. Again. But when he licks to close it, you felt your core ache. He looked at you immediately, like he fucking knew. "What?"  

"N-Nothing..." You tried to laugh.  

He just shrugged again and light up the blunt. He takes a deep drag and give it to you, that does the same.  

"Okay, okay... that's a good one." 

"I TOLD YOU!" He laughs and bite his lip unconsciously, but it makes you keep reminding of the fucking dream. literally fucking.  

At the end of it, you were both high and laughing at the silliest things you could imagine. His eyes were a little red and he looks so relaxed. He was wearing one of those fucking shorts, showing off his fucking legs.  

"Paul..." you started in a middle of a laugh. "You look really hot in that shorts, you know?"  

He blushes a little, but smile at you. "So do you..." his eyes were on your legs right now. "You look so hot, actually..." he licks his lips and smiles. 

After some minutes of silence, you both knew what's going on and don't even have to verbalize it.  

When you notice, you were on his lap, kissing him desperately. "Hey, hey, hey..." He breaks the kiss to look at you. "Are you okay with this?" 

"Yes, Paul, stop!" You tried to kiss him again, but he won't let you, making you whimper.  

"No... is like..." he stops, trying to find the right words but seems to give up. "I've wanted to fuck you so bad for so long, that if we started, I won't stop."  

Instead of answering him, you just kiss him again, slowly and passionate. You grind on his already hard cock, making both of you moan in each other's mouth. He squeezes your butt just the way you dreamed last night, making you giggle.  

"Are you really laughing? You're such a slut, huh?"  

He takes your right breast on his hand, massaging and then picking your nipple. All in a slow pace, making you crazy. When he's about to do the same with the other, you stood up and look at him. He looks a fucking hot mess. His hard cock against his shorts, his hair... my goodness. Before he can protest, you take off your shirt, showing your pierced nipples that he knew, but never saw. He smirked at the vision, taking one hand to his dick. Looking at you with so much desire in his eyes. You take his shirt off, giving you the perfect vision of that man. He was still giving his dick some strokes before you kneeled in front of him.  

You take his hand away, to replace with yours. He hissed at the sensation. You look at him, with a pure innocent look, receiving a smirk back.  

He opens his legs a little more, giving you more access to him. You caressed his tights and slowly goes to his shorts. "Can you take it a little down for me?" You asked, and he immediately puts his shorts and underwear away, you don't even see where it goes. You never thought he was little, but never thought it was THAT big. You bite your lip while stroking his dick. When you put the tip in your mouth, you could already hear him moaning and taking your hair into his hands. It was so sexy hearing him like this, with his dick in your mouth.  

You could feel your pants soaked with this and you can't help but start massaging your pussy for some friction. You both were already a mess and it was just starting.  

"Get up," he commands with a firmly voice. "Now."  

You obey him, getting up just to be putting on the couch, ass up for him. He slaps your butt so hard you know it was leaving marks for a week. But you don't fucking care. You are a mess in moans when he started to massaging your pussy, that was soaked and ready for a dick like never before. "Can I?" he asks, with his tip on your entrance.  

"Of course, just fuck me already!" 

With those words, the next thing you hear was another slap before his long and thick dick fills you. You both let out a loud moan, it was like heaven. He started slow, but intense. Making you go crazy. You were in a position that you can't see his face, but you exactly how it is. And knowing that is Paul inside of you, after all those years, makes everything better. 

His movements started to get fast, and you feel his strong arms around your waist. The sounds are so erotic. The sound of your wet pussy on his dripping dick, his moans, your moans, everything. 

"Paul... Yes... Like th-OH," You feel your orgasm so close that you can even see anything anymore. "I'm cumming..." You whispered in your breath.  

"I can feel that... That's... Wow.." His pace started to get sloopier, and he turns you around, so you can see each other.  

He still pounding into you, looking right into your eyes. "I'm gonna cum, baby." He said and takes his dick to your stomach, spreading his juice all over your stomach and breasts. 

Before you say anything, he takes you up and take you both to your bedroom, going to your closet and getting a towel to clean you up. Such a gentleman. 

And just then, he lay down your side, still breathing hard.  

He looks at you and smile, taking you to lay down on his chest. 

"Just so you know..." He started. "I've been in love with you since we're teenagers." 

"Yeah... Me too." You said laughing. 

And with some caresses, you both sleep after the sex of your lives. 

[beautysurvives]

On Woman Coding in Supernatural

supernatural is a show where male characters want to become the new God and seek to create a new world that is better than His, by returning to an idealized past, creating an idealized future, or maintaining an idealized present. But in their pursuit of his power, they find that they cannot create anything new, they can only destroy. The first time this happens, it is in the death of Mary Winchester and the goal to create Lucifer’s perfect vessel for the sake of ushering in the apocalypse. Azazel is searching for a woman who will give birth to Lucifer’s perfect vessel. Both Heaven and Hell play a part in engineering things so that both Sam and Dean (Michael’s perfect vessel) are born, but no one can create them out of thin air.

The last time this happens, it is in Chuck (God) attempting to reunite with Amara in order to not only destroy his world (the canon spn universe) but to also leave it behind and create a new one. He tells her that he needs their combined power to achieve the one thing he can’t do on his own — a “reboot” or “reset.” Joining with Amara looks a lot like absorbing her into himself. We can’t see her, but he assures us that she’s “with him.”

Actually, the last time this happens, it’s when we see Sam with his son Dean II, and his blurry wife in the background. Sam has created a Dean who can have a better life than either of them. A reboot. A woman’s worth in this world is not herself or her identity, but the function of her sex organs. Her ability to house and then expel new life.

In season 4, Sam believes that he must kill Lilith to prevent Lucifer from rising / the apocalypse. However, her death is actually the last step in unsealing his cage. In this scene, a blonde Lilith wears a white dress, similar to both Mary and Jess in their deaths. She is the whore to their mother and maiden.

In mythology, Lilith is Adam’s flawed first wife, and the mother of monsters. In spn, she is Lucifer’s first “creation” — an already existent human soul that he himself corrupted. The first demon. Hence, Lilith is, symbolically, both mother and child. And her death at Sam’s hand signifies his role as the unwitting killer of his own mother, and the symbolic killer of the feminine. Similarly, Ruby’s presence at his side, feeding her her own blood (as Azazel did) and encouraging him to drink the blood of others, makes her (like Azazel) a sort of wet nurse or midwife, helping Lilith to birth the apocalypse with Sam as both the symbolic father and son. The man who brings Lucifer into being through violent action, and simultaneously the son who must continue to nurse on demon blood in order to grow into Lucifer.

Though there are many different ways to describe possession in Supernatural, it is clear that Lucifer’s possession of Sam is intended not as an act of violent penetration (in contrast to the language used to describe Michael’s theoretical possession of Dean), but as a literal embodiment. Sam is not just going to be “worn” or “wielded.” He is going to become, and as a matter of fact he always has been. This is illustrated to Sam through the revelation that many of Sam’s closest friends, advisors, and allies throughout his life were, in fact, planted there by Lucifer. And, just as Lucifer plans to take his vengeance and set things right, Sam undoubtedly wishes to do the same. Sam’s ability to cage Lucifer is the one instance in which victory does not require violence from him, but the opposite. Restraint. When he is reminded of his relationship with Dean, when he realizes how badly Lucifer has hurt him and allows himself to feel that pain as if it is his own — when he goes from embodying Lucifer to caging him within himself — from being to being a vessel — he sacrifices himself, discarding any hope of a future in order to protect his brother from any further harm. The same thing that Dean tried to do for him when they were children (informed by his own mother), and the same thing that Mary in her death.

In season 5, Cas takes Claire Novak as a vessel, and tells us that she, like Jimmy, is chosen. Jimmy pleads for Cas to release Claire and take him instead, and Cas, seemingly moved despite having just been forcibly reprogrammed as punishment for his empathy, repossess Jimmy.

In season 6 Cas takes Eve’s (the mother of monsters) children — the souls in purgatory — into himself. In this same season, Dean lives with Lisa and attempts to be a parent to her son Ben. He admits that he has started to feel like Ben is really his son, even though he isn’t. In episode one of s6, Exile on Main St, anticipating ridicule about his new domestic lifestyle by his family, Dean refers to himself as a soccer mom. Samuel Campbell, their resurrected grandfather, sincerely (not tauntingly) tells Dean that he reminds him of Mary. Dean, who, as we learned in s4, is named after Mary’s mother and Samuel’s wife, Deanna. In this world, settling down is always associated with becoming feminine. A man who quits hunting to live with a woman has been symbolically castrated, losing the aspect of his masculinity that is violent and heroic — a version of masculinity that Dean simultaneously rejects and feels compelled (by duty) to return to.

In season 11 we meet Amara, who was (symbolically) caged inside Dean, and who first manifests as a baby that he saves against Sam’s recommendation — as Sam very pragmatically wishes to focus on saving as many people as possible. In doing so, Sam finds himself afflicted with the same monstrous condition that plagues the people in this town. He can only save them and himself by expelling the sickness. In this same season, Crowley, still trying to get over his previous connection with Dean, raises Amara and guides her through her childhood, feeding her demons — which are corrupted human souls. As she matures and breaks free, she seems to prefer human souls, but she is seen eating angel souls/essences/grace as well. One human who had her soul taken describes it as “being with Amara” and seems to feel mainly release and relaxation. This is the same offer she makes to Dean. Though the language and implications are of sexual and romantic union, there is a clear womb-like connotation in her proposition. To be with her is to have ones soul kept safe inside her. The apocalypse she promises to bring is not only destruction, but a return to the state of being inside the womb. The state the universe was in before she and Chuck “split apart.” A state unruined by existence, everything preserved in a state of potential being, reduced to ideas, concepts, feelings, urges. Everything unconscious and unformed — the archetypical feminine. The darkness as ignorance.

Throughout the series, a primary question is whether or not any of the hunters (or Cas or Jack) can retire from hunting and live a normal human life. This is an essential part of Sam’s character journey — can he ever “settle down” and have a family of his own? Answering this is always contingent on the presence or absence of a woman at his side. We are asked, how can he achieve this if every woman who enters his life will inevitably be killed? He does not show the same consistent desire that Dean does to raise a child until s13 when he meets Jack. And then, in the final season, Eileen is reintroduced into his life, and the question comes up again about Sam “settling down.” Resurrecting Eileen is presented as a heroic act for Sam alone to achieve. Dean’s plan was to house her in a crystal — Rowena’s soul bomb — a metaphorical womb that can be repurposed as a weapon (only if enough souls are inside, just as Amara gained strength from consuming souls, as Cas gained power by consuming souls, and Dean was made into a bomb by absorbing the souls into himself). But Sam wants her to live again, and finds an opportunity through the spell that Jack forced Rowena to make in order to bring their mother back to life. The spell that failed, because Mary’s resurrected vessel was not capable of holding a soul within it. Like Mary herself, it fails at being what Amara was, a symbolic womb for the infant soul. It is empty, and incapable of being filled. Infertile.

But Sam is able to achieve it with Eileen, through a scene that mirrors both birth and baptism. Eileen emerges naked from a tub, her soul itself transformed into flesh. Where Dean, Cas, and Amara have all been related to the soul, gaining their power from it, ingesting souls and becoming, themselves, wombs — Sam is only concerned with the physical world. He is a character of action, who constantly leaves and returns to his heroic starting point. His blood drinking arc — in contrast to Cas’s soul eating, or the soul-bomb climax of Dean’s moc arc with Amara — is the physical alternative to the soul. Demon blood is also human blood — it is like the symbolic blood of Christ, the son of God — where Dean and Cas habitually ingest the spirit. This is further symbolized by Dean’s becoming a demon in s10, fulfilling his demonic duty by carrying out soul contracts for Crowley.

But in season 15, a season all about undoing the past and returning to an idealized one — to the beginning of the show itself, when it was just about two brothers hunting monsters, without angels and without God — Sam’s ability to leave hunting and finally accept a “normal life” is put in the spotlight, directly mirroring Chuck’s desire to leave this world behind and start a better one. Concepts like normal, human, Heaven and Paradise in spn, have always been related to the feminine — impossible to achieve for characters who view themselves as soldiers, only accessible through the consensual use and death of a woman and/or sacrifice (Mary, Kelly Kline). Those who seek to create a better world — a world safe from monsters — are not allowed to enjoy that world, because they can only seek it through violence.

For Chuck, a better world can only be achieved by abandoning any attachment he has to these characters and this world — and he can only join forces with Amara on his own terms, otherwise they will be locked in a constant power struggle. He only gets what he wants when Amara loses her own remaining attachment to the world (as before, she was content to passively enjoy it even while it was destroyed before her eyes) — her trust in Dean. She loses her tie to him an episode before he loses Cas, his own reason for existing.

Amara’s willing fusion with Chuck is neither her death, nor a fusion of their identities, but a reabsorption — or, consumption. It is the loss of her identity in favor of his. The final victory of the masculine aspect of God, the final act of submission from the feminine. Not equality or balance, but the continued structural placement of the masculine as higher/holier than the feminine despite her having power he cannot access. It is her becoming an organ, a womb — internal and unseen, but giving him the power to be able to leave this world behind. It’s the strength to be able to release. A paternal strength, both of them lacking emotional attachment to what they once loved. Chuck no longer desires to put himself in this story, just as he wants to end the show, he wants the death of this character — Chuck is the weaker version of God, the one that he wants to escape. He wants to transcend this earthly state, leaving this identity behind to create a new and improved one.

So every death in this final season, including Dean’s, Cas’s, Jack’s, and Eileen’s (as well as her erasure from the narrative), like Mary’s death and Amara’s absorption, are presented as necessary sacrifices. Like Jess. The symbolic death of the motherly/feminine aspect of God, which can nurture but attaches to the point of self destruction. Dean’s death was, I think, a suicide framed as an accident — his sacrifice, in order to force Sam to leave the hunting life behind, but also to ensure that, if one was truly destined to kill the other, he would never have to be the one to do it. Dean’s death is presented to us as the only possible end to the series which can not only scrub clean the sins of the past and return Sam to an idealized state (one of potential that can be fulfilled), but also allow him, like God!Jack (the better, more powerful version of Chuck, still containing the symbolic womb Amara, like the symbolic womb of the blurry wife), to set in motion a better future. A “reboot.” This is only possible in union with the feminine — but this union cannot look like becoming or attempting to replace, embody, be contained within, or contain the feminine, as it has been implied in both Dean and Cas’s past parental / Godlike roles — it must be done through consumption or use of the female as an organ. The womb (and vagina) as tools — a means to an end, but one which does not alter or lose the male identity.

[bi-writes]

Hi b!!

This isn’t a request, this is just me venting in a way so you don't have to read this or even reply.

I'm literally so over men because me and this guy have been dating for 8 years...8 YEARSS. And he chooses to cheat on me with my CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND?!!!?!?!?!?

And his reason was "you don't want to have kids with me" .... HO WHAT?!

Like I'm 23, and I'm busy. I'm studying anesthesiology. WHAT DOES HE WANT ME TO DO?! I can't bring a kid into the world when I know for a fact that I'm going to be too busy to spend time with them. I'm also not financially stable enough or mentally ready for it

And it's not like he would be able to look after the kid either. He's too busy going to fucking parties and getting drunk. Probably was getting a shag from other girls too now that I think about it.

Like can this man not get it into his big, fat, stupid head that I've given up every bit of comfort for him. I lost my virginity at 16 for him. I didn't want to , I wanted to stay a virgin until I was in my twenties (Not shaming anyone for losing their virginity early, it's just a preference for me) but he kept pushing and pushing

I genuinely want to punch him. And he had the nerve to cry?!

And guess what my best friend told me!!!! "Don't be so hurt, you're infertile so you would've disappointed him either way. I can Atleast give him something he wants" ouch

LIKE HUH

What am I supposed to do?!

I don't know if I should feel hurt, angry, happy or sad or whatever. I've been with this man for nearly a decade and most of my teenage years. I was literally planning on marrying him.

He was literally all I knew. I don't even know who I am!!

sounds like the universe trashed some nasty people for you.

i think you would very much find reneé rapp's "tummy hurts" very relatable LMAO.

that is so terrible, and i am so sorry that happened to you. i think you're a very responsible and very determined person, and i applaud you for putting yourself first. i say the same thing--where i am right now in my life, i don't want kids. and if my life stays this way, i won't want kids.

now if my future husband ends up being some multi-millionaire and my lifestyle doesn't have to change? sure, i'd think about it. but it's just not realistic for me, and it would do me more harm than good.

i think you are so intelligent and so focused, and you need to surround yourself with people like-minded. i think the only thing you lost here are things that were weighing you down. i'm not going to tell you it doesn't suck and that it won't hurt, because being very sad is totally understandable, but it just sounds to me like it was definitely for the better.

bless that you didn't waste 9+ years on this terrible man. onto the next (or maybe not, i get that too lol). <3

[thefakehedgehogaroundhere]

who here wanna kill a bitch w me

[puhpandas]

I think the reason beckory works well is that tony has a habit of getting self righteous and in his own head about things but Gregory isnt afraid to tell him off or call him out about things. the point of tony in ggy is that nobody ever told him that how hes treating other people isnt good, so that's why he got so bad. but tony would be close to Gregory and have every rational reason in the world to listen to Gregory so when he would say something like "you're treating ellis badly and that's not what a good friend does, you need to do better" hed actually listen and take it into account and improve himself

[crashed-on-mars]

can all of you shut up for literally five fucking seconds please

[sylustra]

Sylus saying "...don't run" to MC when they're finally being openly honest about their desire for one another and their trust and shared spaces.

[sneakystorms]

Maybe I should've seen it coming with the weight placed on the concept of "desire" but i really wasn't expecting dungeon meshi to turn into a full on buddhist lecture

[britneyshakespeare]

Man is saying weird things to me again

[heartbeetz]

Going to look at a couple apartments tomorrow and the next day... the anxiety is setting in

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Hi Jammy! Should we hope for some ficlet chapter today/tomorrow??👀

Yes! 🤗

I have planned only writing today, so I should get things done! 😊

[impossible-rat-babies]

eyrie brings a certain level of “I have two canons” that I don’t really appreciate

[vventingandstuff]

.