#i went to the zoo by myself and that's one thing i like about being an adult

[uncanny-tranny]

Here's another one:

Going to places alone and learning to enjoy your own company. Being able to reliably deal with being in spaces with the assurance that you belong there on your own without needing someone else to make up for your presence is so moving.

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[sulumuns-dootah]

Taking the WHB demons (+ angels) to the Zoo

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: It's my b-day! And as a treat to myself I went to visit a local Zoo so ofc I'll write about how our demons (+ angels) would behave if they got to go too! ^^

Characters: All of the demons + the Seraphs

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With Satan in your group, you don't have to worry about being suffocated in a crowd of people. In a true Satan fashion, they all get a healthy dose of his boots to their behinds if they get even remotely close. And no, children are not safe from him.

Sitri is the snacks and drinks provider. No need to buy overpriced slushies and ice-cream when as soon as you get a craving, something sweet is being handed to you.

As unathletic as Leraye is, you'll see him speedwalking from an enclosure to enclosure. Oh, but if the Zoo has a tropical house with storm sounds for the immersive ambiance? Good luck getting him out of there.

Paimon takes photos of everything and anything. Every few enclosures has to take a break to pick out the best photos and delete the rest to clear out space for more.

Interestingly, Belial - or moreso Jjyu is really quiet. Maybe because someone told him that if he doesn't learn his manners, he might end up as food for one of the animals. This also might be the first time Belial has had such peace and quiet since he first got Jjyu.

Please, tell Astaroth to keep his snake at home in advance. The last thing anyone wants is to argue with the staff that it's really his snake and that he didn't steal it.

You barely notice Zagan even being there. Well, if he didn't leave his talismans everywhere, that is. Despite being practically expresionless, you can see him softly smile while watching animals do something cute.

Ppyong acts like a toddler. In the beginning he'll fly around all excited, happily exclaiming at the actions of the animals. Then he gets all tired and whiny, so Zagan someone has to carry him around. Once he's all rested up, it's back to square one

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"Oh, that's you favorite animal? M'kay, gimme a second to look up how much it costs." - Mammon

"Look at them, all they do is lay around and do nothing and we still have to pay to see them!" - Bimet

Eligos nearly buy out the plushies in the souvenir shop. Can't balme him, tho, they're usually super cute (and expensive x.x).

Do you feel guilty for dragging everyone around just to see your favorite animals? Valerfor is more than happy to be dragged around! Just give him enough time to read the info plaque so the two of you can have an interesting convo later.

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Oh boy is it hard to get Leviathan to come with you. And honestly, I wouldn't recommend at all. The people make him anxious and the fact that the animals get all of your attention instead of him? How he wishes he could hang them all.

Foras is probably the best Hades noble to visit with. He's eager to see all the animals the place has to offer. Also doesn't mind being dragged around.

Scheduling tip: make sure the day is overcast. If it's rainy, Barbatos will refuse to go anywhere. If it's sunny, there's no way you can keep his clothes on and with all the kids around... yikes.

Glasyalabolas will hang around the predators and vultures. If he's not there, he's probably about, scaring unattended children.

A Zoo is an amazing place to release Orias back into the wilderness. Just let him loose to disappear amongst all the other children at the playground. There's a chance that some unfortunate parent will mistake him for their own kid and take him home.

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Beelzebub is excited to try out all the food at the food court/restaurant within the Zoo. If there's a queue, he'll just walk up to the front. In such case is handy to have Satan with you to kick everyone out of the way.

Our poor Bael tries to coordinate the whole trip with you. The whole time he's holding an itinerary with time spans that you can spend on certain sections so you can catch as much commented feedings as possible.

Stolas has you to stop at every stall with snacks. So what, Sitri has a whole bag of them? Those he can have anytime, but these are only available at the Zoo (they're not)

The only one who's allowed to tour the Zoo on his own, separate from the group is Naberius, because nobody's willing to stop at every enclosure so he can read the plaques and commit them to memory. The only ones he avoids are canines bc they count as his family or smth and he hates to see them caged.

Oh lord the amount of times you've accidentally left Amon behind because he fell asleep while sitting somewhere in shade on a bench. Only once Beel returns from his food tasting will Amon stick with the group, so he can spend time by his side.

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Similar to Glasyalabolas, Ronove likes to hang around vultures and animals known to scare people. If there's a night exhibition, he'd also enjoy that. Partially because when people get startled when they enter a room and see him just silently standing there.

Phenix is kinda a hard one. Obviously, in their state it's difficult to go out anywhere in the human world. They agree, so they're content wiht just seeing Paimon's photos.

Another demon, who better be left at home is Dantalian. Sure, he can pass as a human, but you'd have to have him on a leash or keep an eye on him constantly. The moment he's out of your sight, he'll just try to get into an enclosure of some dangerous animal.

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Taking out Belphegor could be actually funny. Get him a wheelchair and take turns witht he rest of your group pushing him around. Just make sure to not leave him anywhere, just like Amon.

Beleth loves the house of felines. He's the exact opposite of Naberius. He's aware how endangered some large cat breeds are and he's happy to see some of his nearly extinct relatives safely protected.

Our floor gremlin Gusion has the answer to every question you might have about an animal. How? He's literally looking at the plaque rn. (*tired side-eye*)

A trip? Bathin very much cuncurs. Actually, why even go to a local Zoo when you can go to the one at the other side of the country? But don't get surprised if he gets a bit too excited iykwim.

Andrealphus spends most of the time in an area dedicated to bees and showcasing beekeeping. (my zoo has it and it's super adorable) Most of the animal enclosures have a stench to them and the pollinating flowers are so soothing to him. Also there's something about the constant buzzing that helps calm his mind.

As long as Belphegor doesn't go, Agares is happy to join you. He's taken over his country and now he would like to take over your attention? Not happening. It's either him or Belphie.

And as a loyal servant, Vassago refuses to go anywhere if his king is not going either. If you end up going with these two, however, I would avoid commented feeding since they could technicaly count as a speech.

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Being there since the begining, Lucifer's seen all the animals on earth as they were made by God, so he doesn't really see a reason to go to a Zoo, but eventually agrees to go when the others keep talking about it.

Morax is the best demon to take with you. All animals tend to naturally flock to him and so whenever you approach an enclosure, the animal will walk as close to him as it can, giving you the best view and if it's safe to, you can even pet it.

Big cat lover no.2 AKA Marbas! Will wait unti it's the cats' feeding time and then just watch as they tear their meal apart (it's usually a whole dead rabbit from what I've seen).

Buer would much more preffer a quiet getaway to maybe do some yoga or meditation, but nobody really asks him. As long as it makes you happy, he's happy to tag along. You'll probably find him later on with Adrealphus in the bee field.

Ooh, Gamigin loves snakes! They remind him of dragons (notice how he doesn't think they're related). "Wow, look at that one! I was that size when I was about 1000 years old!"

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Gabriel will most definitely decline your invitation to come along from the get go, so here's what you do: instead of a trip to a Zoo, you tell him that you're going a place where humans celebrate all the different types of God's creations. If he actually endures the whole schebang is a whole different question, though.

Been there, seen the animals before. Michael isn't interested in going anywhere where humans congregate. Though, it would make wiping them out easier.

Raphael is actually happy to go along with you. The whole experience is like reading a book witht he author's commentary. "Oh, that one was my idea. Can you tell?", "Yeah, I was telling Michael that it was a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen.", "Ahah, that one is scary to you? Gabriel made that one!"

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

would you write angst for twd negan? reader getting injured ?

To Be Loved

pairing: Negan Smith x fem!reader

warning: MNDI, 18+, slight smut, cussing, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of sexual assault, depression, anxiety, suicide, death, self harm, angst, angst with happy ending?, reader is described to have certain physical attributes, mentions of sexual assault, mention of battered wife syndrome, let me know if you see anymore

w/c: 8k (Zoo Wee Mama)

a/n: Jeez, yea this was a lot. I’m gonna make a separate post about it but if you need someone to talk to or you know someone that has been or you have been sexually assaulted please don’t hesitate to reach out for help or to talk about it. Men and women and Non binary’s you guys are strong keep your head up!!

National Sexual Assault Line

800-656-HOPE (4673)

I had to do it. I had to give up my mind, body, and soul to save my older brother. I owed him everything, he was the reason I was still alive after all this time. We would spend our days scavenging for food and sometimes we’d forget to even look for food.

We only cared for each other and we would never go anywhere without each other. So when he got sick I didn’t know what to do. I would sit there and watch as he had his eight coughing fit that day sometimes blood came out.

He would give me this look, a look that said *Just leave me here to die and fight to survive.* I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t, “You need to drink this man.” He would just look at me with that look before taking a sip.

“I’m gonna go and see if I can find some more water. This shitty town has to have some bottles floating around,” as soon as I got up from my crouching position I felt his hand grip my ankle. “The only thing floating around is your brain. Use it and get the hell outta here,” I stood in shock at his words.

Sure, he’s one sarcastic son of a bitch, but we always did things together and he never gave up, even when the whole world was against him or in this case trying to kill him he never gave up. “Shut up,” was all I said as I released myself from his grasp and exited the department store we(I) cleared.

I looked around and heard an engine nearby. It sounded like a car so I quickly took my knife out and begun sneaking around some buildings to get to the convenient store. Once I made it to the entrance and began to open the door bullets came flying from behind me.

I quickly ran inside to take cover. The loud noises surely drew those dead freaks out. Not wanting to waste anymore time I sprinted to the back where the fridges were. As I began to look for water I heard the crunching of shattered glass being stepped on.

“Which way do you think she went,” one of them asked, his voice was heavy and sounded mean. “Can’t we just kill her and go one with our day,” the other man sighed and it sounded like he kicked something out of the way because soon a thud followed.

“You know what Negan said about the girls, besides he saw her himself sitting in his damn ass in that car,” hearing that told me everything I needed to know. Just like my brother said, men nowadays don’t want to kill women, they want to take them and do things to them.

Shivering at the thought I carefully snuck around some aisles before approaching one of the men who had picked up a stuffed animal near the front. Taking a quick glance at my surroundings I snuck up to the man and shoved my knife in his throat, not allowing him to make any noises other than soft gurgling and throwing his arms around.

I placed him on the floor softly to not attract noise, “Oh shit!” I heard gun fire in the store and I looked around me. There were those dead things coming after the other guy. Taking my chance I ran to pick up the last three water bottles in the fridges before bolting out the back.

Hearing some more gunfire I quickly made my way back to where my brother was. I nearly dropped the water bottles soon seeing four men guarding the entrance. I grumbled to myself and decided to take a different route to get inside.

Once I entered through the back which stupidly enough was not guarded I took down two more of the men in the department store where my brother is. I attempted to make my way into the room he was in before big arms wrapped around me.

I wasn’t a small tiny person but I wasn’t big either. My family had a history of tall kids so I took advantage and threw my head back making contact with his nose. I wanted to rub the part his nose made contact with but I had no time as another pair of arms wrapped around my neck pulling me back and before I knew it, my feet were off the ground.

I was being carried from my arms and my feet. No matter how much I kept moving their arms were not budging. “Well, well, well, what do we have here,” A voice boomed from in front of me as I was thrown into the floor.

A grunt left my lips, “What the hell? Is that anyway to treat a lady?” The man faked sincerity, throwing a hand to his chest. The two men mumbled an apology to him and he simply shook his head before looking down at me, “My names Negan, what’s yours?” Pushing myself up to look at him I nearly fell back at how close he was to me.

He was crouching in front of me with a grin on his face. He was handsome, I’ll give him that, but nothing disgusts me more than evil men. “Y/N,” I quickly spit out causing him to nod before looking behind him.

“Was that your brother,” my eyes shot up at his choice of wording. Fearing the worst I shot up to check to see if he was dead before I was held down by Negan. “Woah! Calm down pretty lady, he’s alive, buuut he’s not doing so good.”

I sniffed and attempted to back up before I felt something poke the back of my head. I turned to see two guns pointed at my head, no doubt on orders by whoever the hell this guy was.

I looked back at him as he looked deep in thought before feeling his eyes wonder on my body. I suddenly felt naked even though I had more than enough clothes on. I wanted to shield myself and hide away with my brother.

“I have an idea,” Negan grinned from ear to ear. My eyebrow raised as I watched him stand up and pick his bat up. Shit. That thing had barbed wire around it. My eyes widened in shock as I was sure he was going to kill me.

Instead he crouched down in front of me again this time his bat was resting on his shoulder, “How about I put your boyfriend out of his misery and take you with me so you can serve under me OR,” he exaggerated the or.

“He comes with us and we treat him under the condition you marry me.”

I chose the latter in hopes to see my brother at his best again. I couldn’t live in a world without him, I just couldn’t. So reluctantly I sat next to Negan as we made our way back to where he called “The Sanctuary “

“So, how long have you and your boyfriend been a thing,” Negan nudged my shoulder lightly to get a response out of me. God I hated the way he looked. He looked so happy and carefree, like nothing in the world was wrong, like everything was just perfect the way it was.

Side eyeing him I responded with disgust, “That’s my brother dip shit.” This only caused him to laugh and the driver next to me to give a chuckle. “You got some spunk to you, I like it,” was the last thing he said before we arrived.

I was met with a woman in a nice black dress. She looked beautiful… Negan introduced me to her and everyone else who was kneeling before him as his new wife. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sickly brothers eyes widen as he was taken inside by a man in a white coat.

Once I was inside I was escorted by Negan himself into a room with sofas and other luxury furniture. “Hi, I’m Sherry I’m sorta new. Frankie and Tanya have been here for a minute but don’t worry, you’ll be taken care of and treated like a queen, hopefully,” she didn’t think I heard it as her back was now turned to me but I did. I heard that last word.

She showed me to a room nearby and gave me a mini tour. The room was nice it had a full bed, a kitchenette, a loveseat, a table with two chairs, and a bathroom that had a big shower. I stared in awe and she just smiled sympathetically at me.

“You should clean up, I left you some clothes and shoes change into them and give me your clothes your wearing now when you’re done,” Sherry pointed towards the small dress and heels placed on the bed. I turned to her with a raised brow.

She just shook her head, “You have to wear it if you’re gonna be his wife,” my eyes widened in realization that those girls were also his wife. I wanted to just take my brother and run away from here, but this place was a luxury and I still needed to locate my brother.

Giving her a nod she smiled before leaving the room not bothering to lock it. I didn’t care though, a shower sounded like something I needed. I spotted razors and a variety of different soaps. I smiled at the sight and remembrance of when I would spend hours in the shower shaving every crevice of my body.

So I did just that and two hours later with a slight headache, wobbly legs, and tired arms I got dressed. The dress was a bit tight around my chest and waist but flowed a bit at the bottom. A silk A-Line dress with a slight corseted top. My boobs were a problem in itself, they were practically spilling out and anytime I tried to pull it up I felt the air on my ass. Sighing I went with having my chest out rather than my butt.

It didn’t help that the bra I was given wouldn’t fit with the dress and the underwear I was given was a thong that went right up my ass. The heels were strappy and relatively low, thankfully. I turned to open the door but it was opened for me instead.

I made eye contact with Sherry as she looked down at me and smiled, “If I didn’t have a boyfriend and a husband, I’d be all over you.” I blushed lightly at her comment and she took my hand. “Come on, the girls wanted to do your make up and hair, show you the ropes and rules.”

“I know how to wear makeup and do my hair,” I deadpanned as we approached the familiar room with the sofas. “Not the way Negan likes it, he’s pretty picky with this kinda stuff,” she explains and ai only nod in understanding not that she can see me as she’s pulling me into the room.

There was a mirror set up and a chair in it’s some hair tools and a makeup bag. Frankie pulled me to sit down and Sherry sat across from me on the counter holding the mirror. I looked up at her and we smiled at each other. Frankie and Tanya got to work on my hair. Now that my hair had somewhat dried they put stuff in it and blow dried it then they began to curl it.

After that they pinned my hair in place before moving onto makeup. I felt like a doll as the girls lightly touched my face applying the product. Giving one spray they stepped back as I looked in the mirror.

What the hell? I could barely recognize myself. I wanted to take the mirror and throw it out the window. “I hope you memorized everything we did because all this stuff is yours now. It’ll be delivered to your room in a bit but Negan wants a small ceremony to show you off,” Tanya spoke folding her arms over her chest.

It all made sense now and I could only nod. They began to clean themselves up and a man came in with some food on a platter, placed it on the coffee table, then he left. “Let’s dig in,” Frankie said and the girls all walked over to the platter.

I watched as they slowly picked apart the plate and left some to the side, no doubt for me. Sherry motioned for me to sit by her and I did. “How are you guys handling this so well,” I ask, my throat a little dry from not talking a lot. Tanya got up and went to the fridge and Frankie sighed.

“He gave you an ultimatum didn’t he? Look he isn’t a bad guy, he just does bad things,” I scoffed at her words. “It’s true. Believe it or not…he saved us. He gave us an out and if I have to kiss him or have sex with him every now and then I’ll do it because I know that I’m safe and so is my baby sister,” My eyes widen at her words.

Kiss? Sex? Saved?! It sounded like a bad case of battered wife syndrome. I sighed and shook my head, “I have to have sex with him,” I ask in disbelief. “Well no. I just do it because he’s hot and has a big dick, but he won’t force you to do anything. Kissing though, he doesn’t like to be embarrassed so even a peck on the lips will suffice,” Frankie explains and Tanya snorts as she comes back with a bottle of water for me.

It was cold… I stare at the bottle while Tanya teases Frankie about her relationship with Negan but I pay no mind. My brother… where is he… I need to see him… I can’t do this without him.

I was interrupted by my thoughts before the tears came by a man, “He’s ready for you, Y/N.” Sherry stands up and offers a hand. I take it and we follow the man through hallways before spitting Negan standing at the edge of a ledge, fencing stopping him from a long way down filled with people kneeling.

He turns to me and I watch as his eyes visibly widen and his mouth nearly hangs open. Sherry squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. I give her the same back as she leaves me to join the other girls.

My attention is turned back to Negan when he clears his throat and offers his own hand. That’s when I spot it, there’s a box in his pocket. I sigh as I take his hand and we walk to the end of the ledge where Negan allows everyone to stop kneeling.

A man comes up from behind us and we’re soon facing each other. The man begins to speak words that were going through one ear and out of the other. That’s when I spot him. My eyes widen and I feel my hand twitch, my brother was staring at me with hard eyes, but he looked visibly better.

“I do.”

My attention is snatched back to Negan and the man, so this is what weddings are like? Negan grins at me as it was not my turn to say the words. “I do,” I speak softly “you may now kiss the bride,” the man states before backing up.

My eyes widen and Negan steps closer to me placing his hands on my waist, his next words shocking me and sending waves to my core, “Is this okay?”

I stutter out a yes and he pulls me close and gives me a firm kiss on my lips. My first one… I hear applause from all around us and I feel Negans lips turn into a smile against mine.

It had been about a week and adjusting to this life was…hard, but for my brother it had to be done. Speaking of, I was allowed to see him today. Nerves shook through my hands as this would be the first time I see him since that day he was nearly huffing out blood on me.

I cringe at the memory as I exit my room. The hallways was a little dingy but there was enough light to see who stood at the ends of the halls or who sweeps them. My thoughts were interrupted by a big burly man and two other guys a bit smaller than him. “Look who we have here, names Clyde,” I roll my eyes and cross my arms but then I see his eyes wander to my chest.

“She’s a sexy little thing isn’t she,” one of the guys behind Clyde speaks causing him to grin, “oh she’s not little in certain areas,” he bit his lip and walked close to me but I kept walking back. “You better not tell Negan, or I’ll have to make sure you never speak about anything to anyone ever again, got it sweet cheeks,” Clyde bit his lips and placed his hand under my chin.

The other guys behind him resorted in blatant insult, “I bet that sluts always on her knees for him. Dress like a whore, look like a wore, bet she fucks like one too,” I spit at Clyde causing his eyes to darken. “You shouldn’t have done that bitch—“

“Y/N!” My body was frozen in fear from the look he was giving me and I turn my head to see Sherry walking up to us. “Back off Clyde. Go shove your dick in a walker,” Sherry grabbed my arms and pulled me away. At first she seemed mad and angry, the grip on my arm hurt but then I looked closer at her body language.

The hand in my arm was shivering and the other hand was balled into a fist also shaking… she was scared of him too. I hear a scoff “That’s not true,” he sounded more like a child now. Sherry only rolled her eyes before dragging me to our room with the sofas.

In this lighting I could finally see the fear behind her, “That was Clyde, Andrew, and Nick… Stay away from them.” Before I could respond Frankie and Tanya greeted me. After the hugs I explained that I needed to go see my brother and excused myself.

“Be careful,” I heard from behind me, it was Sherry.

The way towards the medical wing was… interesting. I nearly got lost and had to ask a guy with a giant letter on his dirty sweatshirt. I forgot the letter and was pointed in the right direction. I wasn’t stupid I knew his eyes weren’t on the ground they were on me, more specifically my chest.

I shivered at the coldness as I entered the medical area. “You must be Y/N,” I heard a voice from beside me a turned to see a man in a white coat, he looked ginger. “What gave it away,” I asked softly causing him to smile, “I’m Doctor Carson. I’ve been taking care of your brother these past couple of weeks.”

“Has it been that long,” I accidentally speak out in front of him causing him the chuckle “I’m afraid so. He’s been waiting for you and don’t worry if he’s snappy. He just learned his sister is married,” he gave me a gentle smile. I nod and make my way to his room area.

“You look like shit,” I speak out to my brother who is currently looking out of a small window having to crane his neck to see. His head whips over to where I’m at and he scoffs “You look even worse.”

I smile softly and approach, my heels clicking on the floor. I sat on his bed and we sat in silence before I spoke up. “I had no choice… it was either he killed you or he treated you either way I’d still be here… I didn’t have a choice… I can’t live without you,” before I knew it there were small droplets placing themselves on the backs of my hands.

“I…. I know. And I understand, just—just…if he fucks with you he fucks with me okay,” I nod at his words and smirk before turning my head to finally face him. He looked so much better and his voice was now clear and not hoarse like it used to be.

“N-Not like that! Idiot,” He nearly shouts causing me to laugh. For the first time in a long time I laughed, and it was because of my brother. “I didn’t even say anything bozo,” he started laughing and then I laughed harder at his laugh.

We both sighed before I leaned forward to hug him, my arms wrapping around his waist, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m gonna talk to Negan and tell him to move you next door to me,” I mumble loud enough for him to hear me. He chuckles and rubs my back, “If he listens to you.”

I look up at him and give him a weird look but he shakes his head as if to say it’s nothing, but I give him a look that tells him bitch tell me. He sighs and leans closer so I can only hear.

“They thought I was asleep and I over heard some guys were threatening to overthrown Negan. Negan heard and he was fuckin furious I mean he didn’t say it but the way his voice sounded gave me chills. Be careful okay,” I pulled away in disbelief and shock. I give him a nod before we were interrupted by Dr. Carson.

“Visiting time is up,” he gives us a smile and I return one as does my brother. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him and he waves me off like he jokingly doesn’t believe me. I just didn’t think I’d see him the same day…

After hearing what my brother said about some guys trying to overthrow Negan I made my way to his bedroom. I wasn’t 100% sure he was there but one of the guys mopping told me he should be there, so I made my way to his door.

I knocked for about three times before twisting the nob. My ears filled with moans and screams of pleasure as the door opened wider. My hand left the nob and my eyes went to the sofas in the room where Frankie was on top of Negan with no clothes on.

She was bouncing up and down in him with her hands in her hair moaning rather loudly it’s a wonder I didn’t hear it from outside which probably meant the room was sound proof. I made eye contact with Negan and as soon as I did he shouted, “Oh fuck!”

Frankie turned to look where Negan was looking and gasped before getting off of him and slipping her dress back in then grabbing her heals and leaving the room. She placed one if her hands on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.

I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. Sure we may not be a real couple but I always believed in marrying out of love. And that’s what I did. I married Negan, not because I love him but because I love my brother and I would do anything for him.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting and instead of looking down at Negans…well little Negan I turned to face his bed instead of straight ahead at him. He sighed and pulled his pants up, leaving his shirt off.

“I told you to wait a minute,” his voice was low and sounded slightly irritated. “I-I didn’t hear it,” I responded and heard him sigh. “Well what is it? You know you have to schedule meetings with me. I don’t like being interrupted and I certainly don’t like unplanned meetings,” okay now he really sounded irritated. He sat in the same position as before on the couch with his legs spread wide.

I clear my throat and shut the door and saw as his eyebrow raised and a smirk grew, “My girls ready isn’t she.” I nearly gagged as I stood before him. “I think I know who wants to take you down,” now hearing that made him sit up “how did you—“

Accidentally I interrupted him “Clyde, Andrew, and uhh what was his name oh yea Ni—“ Negan put his hand up as if to silence me. “Let me stop you right there sweetheart. First you ignore my words and break into my quarters anyway, then you interrupt my sex, then you keep interrupting me when I speak which I should let you know is punishable by death, and NOW your accusing some of MY closest men of treason. Tsk tsk I oughta hang you on the fence,” his voice was laced with venom as his words became harsher by the second.

I could feel the tears fill my eyes as he continued, “Maybe, since you wanna go around accusing people of such shit I should go and make an example out of your brother. Take out his eye? Make you cut off his arm?” My lip begins to quiver as he speaks and I shake my head “N-No please no—“

“Shut the fuck up! I’m tired of you whining when all I’ve done was help you. You should be paying me with your body for wasting so much shit in your brother. This was a mistake, I should’ve just killed you both when I had the chance,” Negan grumbled the last sentence before bringing his hand down his face.

“Leave, I don’t every wanna see or hear you walked into my room with or with out permission or else Lucille is gonna have a nice wet date with your brother,” as soon as he said brother a small sob escaped my lips as I sped walked out of his room.

I wasn’t looking up, I couldn’t. The tears were already coming out and if it wasn’t for all the things he told me the embarrassment from whispers in the halls caused my face to swell with heat.

I continued down the halls not picking my head up and soon the whispers were gone and I was met with the light hum of the dim lights. I sighed and accidentally let out another sob and I pressed my back to a wall and slid down placing my head in my knees.

“Well look at what we have here,” my body froze at the disgustingly familiar voice. I looked up to see Clyde with his buddies Andrew and that other guy. They stood on either side of me quite literally backing me into a corner.

I looked around for help before trying to make a break for the end of the hall but was stopped when a pear of big arms wrapped around my waist and pressed me against him. “Nah ah sweet cheeks, I told you what would happen if you told Negan. Well, hearing about what happened, he probably won’t miss you once we’re done with you,” his breath was hot in my back sending the terrifying kind of shivers down my body.

I tried to fight back I really did…. But there’s a moment when you fight for so long it doesn’t feel worth it anymore. I kicked and tried to scream for what felt like hours. My body squirmed but I was only met with harsh beatings to my body.

I tried to cry out but my mouth was filled with something else—something that made me want to dissolve into a liquid matter and evaporate into nothingness. I felt disgusting and putrid. My wrists felt like they were gonna break, my head was pounding so hard the world felt like it was shaking in a category 5 earthquake, my chest my body was being tossed and turned in ways it shouldn’t.

I could swear I heard a crack and all I could hear were the grunts and laughter filling my ears. The disgusting words thrown at me making me feel smaller than ever. I didn’t even notice they were done until again all I could hear was the familiar hum of the light above me. I felt the cold air on my body and turned to see my dress completely discarded and torn.

I heard my name being called before I blacked out and felt the wet sting of my tears fall from my eyes.

I heard it again, that familiar hum of the lights only now it was louder causing my upper body to shoot upwards. I looked around with wide eyes, it was significantly brighter the walls were stained but they were still somewhat white. I tried to hide myself and felt sheets on my lower half and looked down to see a gown… wait a minute… this is…

“You’re awake,” I hear a voice from my right softly call. I turned to see Sherry, she looked tired and like she had been crying. “The others don’t know. No one else knows… except for me and Dr. Carson. I forced him to uh do the kit while you were unconscious. I’m sorry I just didn’t want you to relive….that” it all came back to me as my lower lip quivered.

She carefully got up and wrapped me in a hug shushing me as I sobbed into her. She held me and I heard footsteps approaching and a door opening. “She’s awake?” It was Dr. Carson.

Sherry pulled away from me and went to sit back in the metal chair but I held her hand and looked at her and the a pleading look. She understood and took a seat at the end of my feet and rubbed them gently. The act intimate causing me to tear up.

“I know it’s scary. And I’m so terribly sorry for what happened. I usually used this room for surgeries but considering what happened I assumed you didn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of men groaning in pain,” He spoke softly as he sat in the metal chair by my bed.

“I… I would ask you who did this but from what Sherry tells me I’m sure I have an idea. I’ll let Negan kno—“

“No!” I shouted rather loudly and came off pretty snappy. Sherry even flinched while Dr. Carson only sighed, “This could happen again if he isn’t notified, c’mon Sherry you know this,” he was now pleading to the both of us. I looked at Sherry with wide eyes and she only shook her head.

“It wasn’t as bad as yours and it was a different person. He’s dead now,” she explained causing me to nod softly. “I-I can’t. I don’t want to talk to him or see him or even hear about him,” I spat out to no one in particular and Carson just nodded once again.

“I’m gonna need to keep you here over night and make sure nothing happens and that this was all superficial—of course it isn’t-mentally I mean, but uh I’m sorry this is my first time dealing with something this bad,” Dr. Carson stumbled over his words but I got the memo.

“Me too…”

Dr. Carson explained that the bruising in my legs, arms, torso, back, chest, bottom, and neck should go away in a couple of days and if anything gets worse then I should come back immediately. I turned him out after and Sherry listened to what I need to look out for and how to take care of myself.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Most days I spent in my room staring out the window. The bruises on my lower legs and neck had disappeared but the ones on my arms, chest, and back were still pretty prominent so I had to go bad to wearing that stupid black dress only this time Sherry picked out a different one. It covered more skin and my chest, it was also a bit longer than the last.

She told me she had burned the other one and that she covered for me to Negan and anyone who asked where I was. “I was in my period and there was too much blood and the cramps were awful,” I kept repeating this to myself just about every day.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to my brother and I know he saw me leave the medical area. I missed him but I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t face anyone, not even myself. I punched the mirror in a rage and sat on my bed as my hand bled.

Sherry came by that night. I think she’s like superwoman, she always came when I need her… usually. She helped clean my hand then we both cleaned my bathroom together.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of it but now because my dress had sleeves I felt like Ben more compelled as the blade glided through my arm. In that instance I felt my worries wash through me. The water from the shower definitely helped clean it.

When I got out I got some bandages from my first aid kit and wrapped them lightly so they wouldn’t cause a bulge in my dress. I made my way to our room and found it empty.

Nervously my eyes darted around the room and landed on the door more than a few times. Annoyed at my paranoia I got up to get something to eat from the fridge. The opening of the fridge was loud enough to cover the opening of the door to the room.

I found what made my belly grumble and I reached for the pickle jar. Pulling it out and sighing constantly I scream in shock at Negan by the fridge with his arms over his chest. He too jump in shock his eyes wide “Jesus Christ!”

I ended up dropping the jar by my feet, the juice splashed on my feet. I looked down at my feet and the now smashed jar of pickles not wanting to look at Negan. “I’m sorry,” I gave a bow and went to exit the room quickly until a hand wrapped around my arm, that arm….

I shouted in pain rather loudly causing him to let go of me in fear he held me too hard. It wasn’t until I saw him look at his hand that was slightly damp with blood, my blood. Damn… I should’ve put more bandages over it.

“What the hell,” his voice was now confused as he stared at the blood on his hand then looked at my arm. His eyes narrowed as he grabbed my wrist causing me to hiss in pain and carefully pealed back to soaked black fabric.

The first thing he saw was the soaked bandage then his eyes wandered to the bruise leaking out from the folded over sleeve. He took my other wrist gently and pulled me in the direction of his room.

Entering his room I was filled with a familiar feeling of dread and shame. His voice ringing in my ears from that day. I didn’t want to look up, I couldn’t, afraid he’d call me names and ridicule me further. He pulled me down to sit on the sofa in front of him.

I could feel his eyes scan over me, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Was it… pity? Disgust? Disappointment? Maybe even hatred?

“You did that,” he nodded towards my arms. I stared at the soft carpet beneath my feet, “Why?” His voice caught me off guard. He sounded sincere but I wasn’t a fool“It was my fault wasn’t it? You’re not happy.” I didn’t say anything and we sat there in silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were unhappy? You know you can come to me for anything,” His voice was soft but my head shot up as soon as the sentence left his mouth.

Rage. Anger. Guilt. Shame. I stood up and stared straight at him and I saw his face, it was firm but his eyes told me he was concerned and confused. I wanted to laugh at him, “You wanna know why I’m so goddamn unhappy?” I nearly shouted at him.

I leaned down to insta my shoes and reached for the hem of my dress pulling it over my body then my head. I threw the dress in the floor and watched as his eyes widened. I couldn’t help it, I was my fathers daughter and when looking in the face of confrontation I get enraged.

“This. This was you. All you! I tried—“ my voice caught in my throat as I tried not to choke up. “I tried to come for you to help and you DIDN’T CARE. Instead you ridicule me and embarrass me! Clyde. Andrew. And Nate,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out as I shook my head closing my eyes. “Some husband you are.”

After I said that he shot up out of his seat. I expect him to scream in my face but he only walked out the door, slamming it shut so hard the room shook. I flinched at the loud noise and vibrations before mentally gathering that he did in fact not care.

What was I thinking? I’m such a fucking idiot. After I got dressed I walked to the medical area. I needed to see my brother, I needed to cry to him. I needed… to feel like I mattered.

Once I entered the medical area I noticed Dr. Carson hunched over his desk. I slammed my hands on his desk causing him to shoot up. “Where is he,” I asked rather calmly in attempts to sound composed, though I felt the complete opposite.

I know my brother was discharged a day ago from here, but he needed check ups. Carson’s face contorted into one from confusion to despair. “Y/N… I th—I think you should sit down…” He stood up and pointed to the chair beside me. “Tell me where he is or I’ll burn this entire unit down,” I snapped at him.

I didn’t want to believe it. “He’s gone, Y/N,” my head snapped to the voice in the doorway. Negan. “Shut up! You have no right to be here!” I shouted at the man as I walked over to him practically shoving my finger in his face. “I own this place, Y/N… He was… murde—“

“I said shut the fuck up!” I shouted in Negans face. He only looked at me with sympathy and sincerity “Stop it! Stop that! Stop looking at me like that! It makes me sick,” I spat at him.

He only sigh and gave a nod to Carson who left the us alone in his office. “Looking at you like what,” Negan egged on curiosity getting the best of him. “Like you give a damn about me! You don’t care about me! You just want women to fuck! You are as heartless as a stupid fucking rock! You do things and say things but you don’t mean them,” I shouted at him my chest rising and falling from anger.

“I love you,” he spoke softly looking at me with an unfamiliar look. That pissed me off. “No you don’t! Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” I began hitting his chest and he stood there taking it. I only stopped when his hands grabbed my wrist pulling me into him.

His body heat and warm scent filled my nostrils, that and the smell of the medical wing caused an overwhelming amount of emotions to flood my senses. I began to sob into his chest and I felt his arms wrap around me pulling me into him as we shifted to the ground.

“He’s not—he can’t be!” I let out a painful cry and he responded with brushing my hair down with his hand and rubbing my back, just like how my brother did. I couldn’t take it and I gave in, wrapping my arms around his waist as I wailed into his chest.

After about an hour and a half I was now down to hiccups and sniffles, still in the same position as before. I felt Negans lips press into my head, “He was out in a run with Clyde and Nick… they just got back and… came back with his head. I asked why they had just the head and they said to put it on a stick because he tried to kill them,” my grip tightened around Negan as the tears came flooding back.

“Why?” My voice was weak and hoarse from my previous sobs and wails. I felt him sigh against my cheek, “I asked them the sam—“

“Why did you tell me you loved me,” it seems my question caught him off guard. His hands grasped my shoulders and pulled me back gently so he could look me in the eyes.

“I told you I love you because I do. I love the way you smile, the way your hair looks when it’s not curled, the way your face is when there’s no makeup on it, the way you dress when your not wearing your dress,” my eyes widened in shock at his confession. I watched his eyes soften, “I also hate you. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you make me want to kick all of the other girls out and just have you. I hate the way you look at me when I do or say something that upsets you. I also hate when you don’t look at me, those eyes… they haunt me. And if I could look at one woman the entire rest of my life, it would be you.”

My vision blurs at his words as I look down and feel tears slip from the lids in my eyes. His hand gently pulls my face to look at him “I would do anything to make you feel good. I would burn this whole place down if it meant seeing you smile or laugh.” He leans forward and feel his lips press my skin gently on my cheeks.

I felt hands on me. I felt their hands on me. I felt their breath and their teeth. I heard their laughs and their groans. I tried to push them off and screamed for help. Their hands gripping my wrists so tight it felt like they were going to break off.

“Y/N!!”

I gasp and look around me. It was slightly dark in the room the only source of light came from a bed side lamp—wait a minute. I don’t have a bedside lamp. “Y/N, baby, are you okay,” I heard Negans voice and my body came down from that tense feeling.

“I-I could feel them… their touch and their laughs…” before I knew it I began crying and Negan pulled me into his arms the two of us falling side ways on the bed. It felt good. The bed was soft and sunk under me. The comforter was a big fuzzy black one.

“It’s okay. No ones gonna hurt you again okay? Get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow,” I simply nodded at his words as he pulled the covers over us and held me close.

By the time I woke up the sun was peaking through the curtains and I was fully aware of where I was. Negan’s room. I had been sleeping here for two nights already. I didn’t want to go back to my room or anywhere else.

I left a dress at the end of the bed along with a note and some heels. I sighed and decided to shower before getting dressed. I froze when I saw myself in the mirror. I couldn’t pull myself from looking away. Disgusting. Shame. Hatred. And anger filled me up as I looked at myself.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes before turning the shower on. It was so much nicer in this bathroom, it made me feel like I was low class and he was middle upper class.

After showering and getting changed I read the note:

Meet me at the spot ;)

-Hubby

I rolled my eyes and carefully made my way to “the spot” I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt someone fall into step with me. I stopped and spotted her brunette hair curled. She turned and smiled softly at me.

“I’m sorry… about your brother,” she reached for my hand and I let her. I didn’t want to cry not now but this was all too overwhelming. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone,” I smiled sadly at her and we soon began walking again.

“Dwight met your brother. He really liked him. Said he was sassy and not afraid to show it,” I looked down and frowned at her words. I knew Dwight from Sherry, they were supposed to get married before Negan found them. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s what got him killed,” I said softly but loud enough for her to hear me.

She sighed and came to a stop. We were now just a hall away from “the spot” Negan wanted to meet me at, “Don’t blame anyone but the dickheads that killed him okay? Your brother was one of the good ones, which is pretty hard to come by nowadays.”

I sighed and shook my head in agreement. She shot me a comforting smile and squeezed my hand much like when she showed me off to get married to Negan. I gave her a smile back and let go, turning down the hallway to spot Negan just standing there swinging Lucille back and forth.

I assumed he heard the click clack of my heels because he looked over at me and grinned from ear to ear. Usually I felt disgusted when he looked at me like that but I only smiled at him and he held his arms out to me.

I leaned into his hug as he kissed my head and whispered in my ear, “let’s get this show in the road.” We made our way down to the common area where there was a giant brick made furnace. There were also four men lined up, each had a bag over their head.

I watched from the side as Negan instructed the bags be taken off their heads. My eyes widened as I saw Clyde, Andrew, Nick, and another guy. My hands started to feel clammy as I tightened my grip on the hem of my dress.

I then watched with a mixture of different emotions as Negan beat the shit out of all three guys except for Clyde. He had been blubbering like a baby and whining in fear. I could only stare as Negan forced him to take off his pants in front of all the saviors.

He did something rather unexpected but also expected, he took an extremely hot iron an held it to Clyde’s penis. I watched Negan in adoration as Clyde began convulsing. It looked like he passed out but a few moments later he turned into a rotter.

Negan took a machete from one of his men and chopped Clyde’s head off. He then instructed his men to clean up the mess and put his head on a stick outside the sanctuary. He then looked at me and motioned for me to come over, “Let this be a lesson! You fuck with my girl, Y/N, I will see to it you never get the ability to fuck ever again!” Then there was a roar of cheers and I made eye contact with the girls who were also shouting

Negan brought his hand under my chin pulling me to look at him, “Is this okay?” He asked making my heart flutter and my mind to race before pulling him in for a kiss in front of everyone.

“Negan!” I shouted as I felt his beard tickling my neck. “Mmm” he groaned softly placing more kisses downwards. “You have a meeting in 10 minutes,” I gasped as his hands found their way under my dress. We were seating on the sofa in his room.

It had been a week since he publicly executed those guys. I didn’t want to speak of them, it always managed to ruin my day. “I don’t care. Don’t wanna be interrupted from time with my girl,” he mumbled into the skin on my chest causing me to chuckle.

“Oh yea that’s right you don’t like to be interrupted—oh!” I felt his fingers press against my center causing me to let out a moan and grasp at his hair. “Don’t do that baby, I won’t be able to control myself,” he looked up at me through his lashes and I placed my hand on his cheek.

I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss before we were interrupted from harsh knocking “Come on man, some of us have meetings!” Shouting came from behind the door.

“I’m not done with you sweetheart,” Negan grinned and gave me one last passionate kiss before pulling away and fixing himself up. “Hey,” I called out to Negan who turned around after picking up Lucille, “I love you.”

I was met with a groan and he tossed Lucille aside on the loveseat and turned to open the door, “reschedule the meeting!” I heard him shout before he shut the door and locked.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he began taking his shoes off and pulling his shirt over his head. “Why don’t you come and show me,” I teased pulling my dress off. That seemed to do it for him and soon he pounced on the bed causing a string of giggles to come out.

It was hard getting used to it, to everything. I didn’t even think to think about someone like Negan in such a light, but he wouldn’t always tell me he cared about me instead he never failed to show me how he felt.

[dollcherray]

Hello cutie patootie süße!! I wanted to ask for fpe with a fem(or gn reader if that's more comfortable fy) reader who belly dances and even sometimes has little get together to teach others how to belly dance?

I've been learning to belly dance for a few years and my therapist also went to a belly dancing class a year back haha

Can this be us? You're such a cutie und du hast einer der beste Persönlichkeiten die ich je in jemand gesehen habe und ich hoffe das es dir gut geht🎀

ㅤㅤㅤ ۶ৎ ROSA QUE LINDA ERES ۶ৎ

₊⊹ FPE WITH A FEM READER WHO'S A BELLY DANCER

⋆.˚ Note: fun fact i actually want to learn how to belly dance myself!! thank you for the request and of course this can be us !!! >w< sorry if i do fucky ducky, my acknowledge abt belly dancing isn't one of the greatest :C (você é literalmente uma das pessoas mais gentis que eu já vi <3) i did a bit of the students and miss circle since i dont know which characters you wanted and also did this if reader was close to them >: sorry for the wait! IM ABSOLUTELY SLEEPING ON MY KEYBOARD ITS 0:43 AND IM GIVING MY ALL TO WRITE THIS IM SORRY IF ITS BAD MOOT 😞😞😞

✧₊⁺ Characters: Miss circle, Engel and Edward.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Type: Fluff, Headcanons, Romantic/platonic

꩜.ᐟ Song: Alibi

ENGEL ⊹˚. ♡

♡ Since we all know Engel's the type to be supportive of everything you do, this time isn't going to be different.

♡ When you first show it to him, he'll be all happy and impressed, cheerfully hyping you up as you did your little dancin' dance, he thinks its pretty impressive since he knows belly dancing not only takes time but a lot of skill too like any other dance.

♡ Engel enjoys learning with you, every time you do your little get together with the others, he'll almost ALWAYS be there too, and also being one of the most interested to learn! Engel is the type of person to pay attention to any interests you show or tell him, let it to the kind student to not miss any details about his close ones hobbies.

♡ If you wear those fancy and shiny clothing full of jewelry when you go to dance, he'll be 10x more amazed, probably would be distracted with the clothing and jewelry but he'll actually be fond of it too! Engel thinks it adds up to the performance.

♡ But yeah, he's pretty supportive of your little hobby, not only because he thinks it's a unique dance but also because he just likes seeing you happy; so, whatever keeps your boat floating!

♡ Honestly- there's really nothing much to say about Engel other than the fact that he's totally cheerful about it.

MISS CIRCLE ۶ৎ

♡ This woman is SMITTEN.

♡ First things first; she finds it very cool, very mindful and demure, but honestly i don't think she'd really express it in a friendly way??? if anything she would express her opinion about it in a weird way; and when i say weird i mean just her being sarcastic in general.

♡ Whenever you show her your little tricks and whatnot, Miss circle's just like "you go diva" while doing some little hype ups here and there, nothing much.

♡ Kinda likes when you teach it? depends on her mood, sometimes she'll be interested in your little get together, sometimes she won't, it's Miss circle so it's kind of expected coming from her., but you sometimes see her amongst the people who want to learn with u.

♡ Okay but she LOVES the outfits (if u wear it) she'll be actually stunned by it although her outside reaction looks different than what she's actually feeling, Miss circle likes it, she finds it very pretty and shiny, says it fits you.

♡ Kind of supportive, just won't really show it that much, enjoy your performances and just like Engel, anything that floats your boat ig??? as long as you're living.

EDWARD ₊⊹

♡ ZOO WEE MAMA!! 😻😻😻

♡ Aw man, he's not only amazed because of your skill, but also because of how good you look while doing it, seriously; Edward's REALLY down for it when you first show him.

♡ To be honest i don't really think he would be invested in learning, but you'd still see him watching your little meetings to teach others when you can so he just can see you dance.

♡ If he's already obsessed with it, be prepared if you wear fancy clothing while doing it, he'll just be staring at you non-stop, not only that but be totally complementing you after you're done, he thinks it's so pretty.

♡ Be the generic type to "brag" about you, thinking that you're so cool and stuff, going left and right saying "yo, look at my friend, she's a professional dancer!!" to his other friends and etc.

♡ I think sometimes he would just jokingly flirt with you in some of your choreography, i mean just to tease a little bit, but ill let it up to you if you'd think it'd be jokingly or not 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

♡ Supportive in his own way X3

[onskepa]

Left behind: Prologue

Here is the first of many chapters for the long awaited series! Enjoy!

Left behind series

----------------

Jake’s pov

Earth has always been our home. Us, humans. And like parasites, we leeched off of our provider. Always wanting more and never getting our fill. And now, what made us humans, is dying. There is little to no chance of saving it. 

As earth dies, so does the human spirit. Over mass population, consumption, greed. It is clearly taking a toll on all of us. Whenever something pure, something untouched is found, the greed of humanity taints it. Corrupt it. 

As is the youth of our children. 

With what hopes and dreams the kids have are instantly killed. The adults are blunt and cut throat in telling kids today there is no hope for earth. Being molded to think one way, molded to be fitted in a box and not have any form of creativity. To think of a certain way. 

And it is disgusting. 

Third  POV 

After a nasty fight at the bar, Jake went home. He got the money, less than last week but it's enough for the both of them. 

Yes, both. 

After being discharged from the marines after his life changing incident, Jake sully didn't have a clear vision of what to do. Learning that his new life will contain him in a wheelchair, Jake's mind darkened and stayed like that for a while. Dull and colorless were his day. 

Would go to bars and make a fool of himself if it meant getting some attention and money for more booze. Made many mistakes in his dark days. Mistakes that aren't so easy to take back. Many regrets and doubts. But there was one thing that Jake would never see as an accident or a mistake, was his only reason to live. 

His daughter. 

A little angel sent from above to take him out of his dark days. 

Jake could barely remember the women he spent the night that conceived his child. Some faceless lady that gifted him his child. Really the only good thing left in his life. And because of his little star, did Jake push on. Still not making good choices, but hard ones to make it by.

Jake’s pov

The door opened and I pushed myself inside. Home sweet home. A small apartment, not the best, but its plenty. 

“Daddy daddy daddy!!” I can hear my little girl call out to me. 

Turning, I caught her just in time. Quickly climbing on my lap, her little arms hugging me. “I missed you daddy!” she tells me. I couldn't help but smile widely. My little angel, my little star, a gift from above. 

“Oooh I missed you too, have you been good for Misses Morve?” I asked her, moving her little messy hair away to look at her beautiful blue eyes. She nodded fast. And on cue, the kind lady we have as our neighbor came to us. 

A nice little old lady across from our door. 

“She has been so good, I am surprised she hasn't caused any trouble, '' Misses Morve tells me. “Thank you, you don't have to watch over her tomorrow. I'm staying in” I was informed. Saying our farewells, she left our place. 

My little girl turned back to me, “daddy! I saw on the hologram that the tigers came back from the dead! I saw them and they looked so cuuuuuuute!!” 

Animals has always been her favorite thing to learn about. I buy second hand books for her. School has become too expensive for an average family. So I try my best to teach her what I know. 

“Really? Maybe one day we can go see them together” I tell her. Her eyes sparkle in excitement, cheering and clapping. Letting her chat away of what we can do should one day we go to the zoo. 

I know it might not happen, but nothing wrong with giving a little hope right? 

Third pov 

As the father-daughter duo chatted, a sudden knock was hard on the door. Both stood silent, misses Morve just left, Jake wasn't expecting anyone else. 

Jake gave his daughter a look and quickly she left to go hide in a cabinet. Jake grabs a gun hidden from a shelf and preps it. As he got closer, another knock was heard. “Who is it?” he asks loudly. 

“Is this Jake sully’s residence?” A voice was heard. 

“Who are you?” Jake asks. 

“We are from the RDA. We came to look for Jake sully. It is urgent we speak to him”. 

Aaaaaaaand that is all for this one! Hope you all like it cause there will be more chapters in the future! Until next time! see ya!

[theotherbuckley]

This is payback for the 40 something sentences btw

👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼👧🏼🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁🚁😘😘😘😘

I brought this upon myself.... i have many regrets.

👧🏼 - dad!buck teacher!tommy (bucktommy)

“Daddy’s coming?” Bella asks, looking up at Buck with the biggest puppy eyes.  “Not today, baby, you’re at big school now!” He replies, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Come on! I’ll show you where your class is,” Christopher says enthusiastically, offering up a simple wave to Carla before he starts walking towards the classrooms, looking back towards Bella when he realises she’s not following. “Daddy has to come,” she begs, grasping on to Buck’s leg and holding on for dear life.  Buck honestly didn’t expect Bella to cry when he went to leave — frankly, he thought he’d be the one crying, watching his girl all grown up. Bella was never really the shy kid, always happy to meet new people and do new things. She could talk to strangers for hours about the most outlandish things. The other week they were at the zoo with the Diaz’s and Bella had walked up to the zookeeper, asking 100 different questions about sea otters which had become Bella’s latest hyperfixation for about a week. Buck had watched her talking away, smiling fondly. He had turned to Eddie shaking his head saying he didn’t know where she got it from to wish Eddie gave him a very pointed look and said, “Seriously?” So apparently ADHD is hereditary.  Point is, he didn’t really plan on Bella clinging to him the way she was now, and he didn’t know what to do. He’d do anything for his daughter, and watching her look up at him as she clung to his pant leg, made his heart break. He was helpless to do anything but walk up to her classroom with her.  They followed Christopher into the school, taking twists and turns that had Buck worrying how he was going to get out of this maze when he left. Chris finally stopped at the door of a class that had a bright pink number 5 cut out stuck to the door.  “Are we absolutely sure this is room five?” Buck joked upon seeing the sign. Bella looked up at him, hand still gripped tightly to Buck’s and said, “Yeah, Daddy, see! Number five!” she said, pointing to the door. They’d been practising number’s recently, Bella already surpassing Buck’s mental arithmetic ability by being able to add 5 and 7 — Buck still had to use his fingers. She definitely inherited her mother’s ability for math.  A second bell rang loudly in the hall, causing Bella to jump slightly in his hold. He squeezes her hand gently a few times to comfort her before looking towards Chris who still needed to get to his room. “See you later, Bella!” Christopher says, turning to walk down the hall towards his own class. “Come on, Bellie,” Buck said, guiding Bella into the class. There were about 10 other children sat at desks in the class, a few still with their parents which made Buck feel better about coming into the room with his daughter — not that he would leave anyway, not until he knew his daughter was happy. Noticing some cubby holes at the back of the class, Buck ushered Bella towards them to put her bag down.  Distracted by getting Bella into the desk that had her name on it, and getting her settled, Buck never stopped to look at the front of the class towards the teacher. When Bella had finally let go of his had, now apparently forgetting his existence and chatting very enthusiastically to a boy sat beside her, Buck looked up to see Bella’s teacher drawing in big letters on the whiteboard.  Buck has no idea how he missed him walking in because the man was huge. Buck thought his arms were huge as a firefighter but holy shit… apparently being a teacher makes you built like a fucking tank. The man was writing in curly letters on the board, spelling out “Mr. Kinard”. Once he’d finished he turned to face the room. Buck instantly noticed his deep blue eyes and the cleft of his chin that painted a very lovely picture for him to look at. The man caught his eye for a moment and smiled, the corners of his eyes and nose scrunching with smile lines that Buck felt completely normal about.  Buck had to clamp his mouth shut when he realised that he’d been staring, slack jawed at the objectively very handsome teacher.

🚁 - helicopter crash s8 (bucktommy)

The siren blares loudly above his head, some suburban house fire or something. Buck only half registers it, still stuck staring at the screen in front of him. He’s distantly aware of Eddie calling for him but he just can’t right now. He can’t. Captain Gerrard moves in front of the TV, forcing Buck to snap out of his gaze. “Get a fucking move on, Buckley,” he practically spits. Buck moves mechanically, forcing himself out of his chair and following his captain down towards the fire engines.  “Can I— Can I be man behind this time?” Buck says, his voice sounding small to his own ears.  “No,” Gerrard replies simply, not even turning to look back at him.  Johnson had been the man behind all day, apparently in punishment for failing to adequately wash the fire engine. Buck knew that the real reason was because Gerrard caught his boyfriend dropping him off in the morning.  “Please,” Buck says again, hating the way his voice breaks in the middle. He can’t focus right now — he’d be useless as a firefighter at the scene. It would be safer for everyone if he stayed back. Please— “Get in the truck,” Gerrard shouts at him. 

😘 - pet names 10+1 (bucktommy)

Buck swallows. “What-whatever do you mean, sweetums?” Buck says, before wincing immediately. “Okay, okay,” Buck relents, “I’m trying out pet names. And they’re not going great, especially not sweetums.” Buck cringes again. “But, I will come up with a good one. Just you wait.” Tommy’s expression turns fond as he stares at Buck with the cutest look Buck thinks a man could possibly make. “Baby, you don’t have to give me a pet name. Tommy’s fine,” Tommy says sincerely. “Besides,” Tommy says, lips quirking up at the edges. “I kinda like hearing you moan my name.” Buck trips through the door.

[wehangout]

So, the amazing Calli @callivich came up with this beautiful idea for DVD commentary, fic style, and the amazing questions that go with it. As suggested, I'll be indulging myself while talking about:

Thicker Than Forget. Summary: He blinks at you. “What was your first name?” “Erato.” “Erato,” he repeats. “No need to roll the r.” “Like the muse?” You grin. “Poet, meet muse."

AU. Ian is a poet. Mickey is his recently-corporal muse. They eat an absurd amount of stupidly named ice cream, try to find beauty in things, and fall hopelessly in love.

This was fun! Let me know if you want commentary on any other fics!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

So, I wrote this for the Shameless Big Bang in 2021. I couldn’t tell you how long it took me to write (Word is giving me conflicting info), but it was probably my easiest write to date. Word count sits at 30-ish thousand words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

It was initially inspired by a novel. I don’t remember which one, but it was either Lament or Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater. The only similarity between that one and mine is that a character falls in love with their muse. The plot itself is very different.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because it’s almost always Mickey lmao. I did try from Ian’s, but this had to be from the muse’s POV and Mickey had to be the muse.

What was your favourite scene to write?

The smut 👀 if you’ve read it, I hope you understand why lmao

How did you come up with the title?

From the poem, Love is Thicker Than Forget! It fits so well with Ian being a poet and the overall theme of the story.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I went a little meta on fanfic, fandom, and shipping in this, which was so fun. I think only one person seemed to really notice and mention it, though, haha.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

I didn’t struggle to write it, but figuring out how to end it was tough. It took a long time for me to figure that out. When I originally came up with the idea it was for an original story, and did not have a happy ending.

Favourite line in the story?

I’m gonna go with lines, plural, because I have a couple

He kisses you and he kisses you and oh. Oh. This is what they were writing about. All the poets, every word of creativity they took from you … it’s this.

He closes his eyes and continues to sigh sonnets into your skin

Also, the last two lines of dialogue, and, I mean, “Fuck the connection” has to be right up there.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

The writing, actually. I’m not a poetic person, none of the poems in the fic are mine, but I’m pretty proud of the poetic nature of the writing.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

So, this is the fic that made me realise I needed to stop taking things so seriously lmao. @captainjowl can attest to the research I tend to do. In this case, every ice cream name was a legit flavour at the time, taken from a Baskin-Robbins website. The mural exists. The flowers and trees in the botanic gardens are flowers and trees found in that exact botanic garden. The hoodie! Taken straight from the Brooklyn Zoo website. The pasta they eat at the North Pond – I used Google Maps to make sure there was an Italian restaurant nearby and looked up ponds in Lincoln Park.

I've since tried to be more chill. Sometimes I fail.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I’d make it longer, if possible.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

It’s a nice idea, because I’d love to write something pretty again, but I have zero inspiration for it.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

Uh, if you’ve read this and Suncatcher you might notice that I, like Ian and Sandy, have a thing for The Doors.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

I don’t know if this is my most popular story, but I was definitely surprised by the intensity of the comments I received. It was one time when I knew I’d written something good, but the way it made other people feel definitely took me by surprise.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I love that this was loved. I still go back and read it every now and then and just sigh.

[gato-hedonista]

Intro post cause yeah

→ About

Nyen Ranfren that's it. I go by any pronoun cause gender is stupid and I'm only here to mess around, you can flirt if you want to, I just wanna waste time messing around and reading the stuff people send to me sometimes.

I don't really know why I have this specific account, I have one where I post art, but I'm just a little more of an asshole here. Little aclaration that I'm not diagnosed with anything, since I never went to a psychologist, but I don't really consider myself neurotypical either...

Ok so I have NPD traits (a lot of them actually), again, not diagnosed, but that's just me being in denial. I have low-empathy, so don't send me those donation things, and also don't expect me to support or care about you unless you're my friend.

→ Likes

I like Ranfren (no shit Sherlock), Måneskin, Mindless Self Indulgence, knives, demonology, snakes, insects (I once befriended a spider AND a dragon-fly) and some other stuff I don't remember, I like messing with people as well.

I write and draw and some more cool stuff but I'm too lazy to brag about all the skills I have, plus I don't really post any drawing here, maybe I'll do in the future.

I don't have a specific DNI list outside of the obvious shit (zoo, pedo, necro, at least the pro-contact freaks, that is), be nice and all of that, also don't be annoying or I'll skin you alive.

[aneurinallday]

Green Eyes

Chapter 15: Rope

Night came early, the winter sun quickly setting on what would be Alec’s last hours at Arrow House. Thomas dismissed the servants a little sooner than usual, waiting until the last of them had retired to their quarters; then he walked throughout the house, checking that the doors and windows were locked. He took his time - there was no need to rush. He and Alec were alone.

Satisfied that there was no means of escape, Thomas made the final walk to Alec’s bedroom to find him sitting at the vanity table, brushing his curly hair. He smiled at Thomas in the mirror, oblivious to the fact that he was only one wrong move away from death.

“I thought you’d never come,” he gently scolded. On the bed lay the coiled ropes and clean cloths that indicated he’d been waiting for Thomas to pay him a visit. “You should’ve come shopping with me - you would’ve enjoyed it. Do you want to see what I bought today?”

“No.”

“Fine, you grouch,” Alec laughed. “Did you have a bad day? That’s alright. I’ll make you feel better.”

He rose and began to unbutton his shirt.

“No. Keep your clothes on,” Thomas ordered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Alec obliged. He cupped Thomas’s face in his hands, drew him closer, and kissed him tenderly.

“I’m yours,” he said, “You can do whatever you want.”

“I know.” Thomas picked up one of the strips of cloth and tossed it into Alec’s lap. “Put it on.”

Alec’s smile broadened. He sat down on the bed and blindfolded himself, tying the cloth in a knot behind his head.

“I was thinking, we could - ”

“Don’t talk,” Thomas interrupted, “I want you to be quiet this time. Lie down.”

Alec grinned and lay back on the pillows, allowing his wrists to be tied to the bed-posts above him. Thomas rolled up a wad of cloth and stuffed it into Alec’s mouth, eliciting a muffled giggle.

Thomas sat at his side, looking down at his defenceless form. There he waited, procrastinating, knowing that the next words to leave his mouth would end their happiness forever. Part of him wanted to keep pretending - to keep playing along with this charade of love, no matter the cost. Anything was better than being lonely again.

But he knew self-indulgence wasn’t an option. Whatever plot had been set in motion against him and his empire, it couldn’t be allowed to continue.

Finally, Thomas spoke.

“I got a call from my brother John last night,” he said, “He gave me some interesting news. News about you. I didn’t believe him at first, so I sent some of my boys to follow you when you went into Birmingham. When were you going to tell me you’ve been meeting with Cobb?”

Alec didn’t make a sound, but Thomas could almost see his blood run cold and the breath leave his body.

“Then I start thinking to myself, he goes out by himself a lot. Going to shops, cafés, the zoo. So these meetings with Cobb must be a regular thing. Am I correct?”

Thomas’s voice never rose in volume, but every word dripped with threat.

“And the surname you’ve been hiding all this time? The parents you refuse to talk about? Turns out you’re a Cobb just like your boss. I’m a family man - I take blood very seriously. Do you?”

Alec must’ve realised the helplessness of his situation, because he suddenly panicked and attempted to lurch upright. The ropes yanked tight around his wrists as he struggled, whimpering pathetically through the cloth. The terror emanating from him was palpable.

“Calm down,” Thomas said. “You’re not helping yourself by making a fuss.”

Alec’s frantic pules abated, and he lay shaking. He was breathing too fast, in and out through his nose.

“I’m going to ask you some questions. Are you going to keep lying to me, like you have been?”

Alec shook his head desperately.

“Good. I already know about the plan,” Thomas lied, “But I want to hear it from your lips so I know you’re capable of honesty. Understand?”

Alec nodded. Thomas plucked the cloth from his mouth, and he sucked in a gasp of air.

“Please - ” he began.

“Don’t fucking start. Tell me what you and Cobb have been up to.”

“Mister Shelby, you promised you wouldn’t get angry with me again. Remember, you promised.”

“I made a promise to someone I thought I knew. You’re not him. You’re someone else. Now answer my questions. If you lie to me, I’ll cut you. Did Cobb put you up to this?”

“Yes.”

“Why’d he send you here? Did he send you to kill me?”

“No. I’m not a killer.”

“What are you, then? A rat?”

“He wanted you to love me,” said Alec, “As soon as you saw me, back at the Arcadia, you took a fancy to me. The whole night long, you didn’t have eyes for anyone else. Mister Cobb noticed that, and he saw a chance.”

“A chance for fucking what?”

“You were supposed to fall in love. You were supposed to name me as your sole inheritor, and once I was in your will, Mister Cobb was going to have you killed. And then I would sign all the assets over to him. He doesn’t just want your territory and your businesses. He wants your private properties, your personal fortune, even the paintings hanging on your walls. He wants your cars and your horses and your fucking gold pocket-watch.”

“Why?”

“So that every trace of you will be erased. So that he’ll be remembered, and you won’t.”

“And the plan only works if I love you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, you got it wrong. I don’t love you. Never did. All I cared about was what you brought to my bed. You’ve never been anything to me but a whore.”

Alec said nothing. His hands were reddened, the blood pooling on the wrong side of the ropes.

“Wait,” Thomas muttered, “Why would you inherit anything when I have a son? Hell, not just a son, but an aunt and three fucking siblings, and nine fucking nephews and nieces? Why would I leave anything to you when I have them to think about?”

Alec hesitated.

“Don’t start holding back now. You’ve told me plenty - you might as well tell me the rest.”

“He was going to get rid of them first. They were supposed to die, and while you were grieving, I was supposed to be there to comfort you.”

“All of them? Even the women and their kids?”

“Yes.”

“Even my son?”

“Yes.”

“But he’s a fucking kid. What is wrong with you people?”

“I don’t know.” Panic crept back into Alec’s voice. “I just did what Mister Cobb told me.”

Thomas could feel the rage starting to bubble to the surface. He needed to put distance between himself and his betrayer. Rising from the bed, he paced restlessly about the room; but everywhere he turned, he was confronted by the expensive things he had lavished upon Alec, and his anger continued to grow.

“Every time you go into the city, you’ve been reporting to Cobb?”

“Yes. Sometimes I used the telephone in your study, when you’re out.”

“What have you told him?”

“Everything.”

“Be specific.”

“I don’t remember,” Alec protested, “Everything you tell me, I tell him. Everything we do together, I tell him.”

Thomas stopped pacing and turned to face him.

“What about the beating Cobb gave you?” he demanded. “Firing you from the Arcadia? Was that all part of the plan too?”

“You’d stopped coming to see me. I had to do something to regain your interest.”

“And Clara? You used the brat to play on my sympathies?”

“N-no - ”

“Whose kid is it?”

“She’s mine, I swear.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” Thomas snapped. “Tell me the truth. Whose fucking kid is it?”

“It is the truth!” Alec insisted. “She’s mine. She’s my daughter. I was there when she was born. I was the first one to hold her, because her mother didn’t want to.”

“Why should I believe a single fucking word that comes out of your mouth? You’ve been lying to my face for a year.”

“Please, Mister Shelby. I would never lie about her. I love her more than anything.”

Alec’s fingertips were starting to turn purple. Despite everything, Thomas hated the sight.

“Don’t fucking move,” he said, and untied Alec’s wrists.

Alec lay motionless until the ropes fell away, then slowly lowered his arms, trying not to make any sudden movements. He rested his hands on his chest, ready to shield himself from the blow he half-expected. He didn’t sit up.

Thomas took off the blindfold, damp with tears. Alec’s gaze darted skittishly past him, avoiding contact.

“Look at me,” Thomas said.

Alec forced himself to obey. His green eyes were wet and hopeless.

“My brothers will be here soon, and they’ve never liked you. You won’t make it out the door. So don’t bother trying to run.”

“I won’t,” Alec said. “I promise.”

“All of this - this life you’ve been living. It’s over. You’re done. You’re going back to the shit-hole you belong in.”

“But what about Clara?” Alec pleaded.

“What about her?” said Thomas coldly.

“She hasn’t done anything wrong. She doesn’t deserve to lose her home.”

“This was never her home. Besides, you’ll get by. You always do.”

Thomas rose from the bed, and crossed the room to the wardrobe. He jerked it open and began pulling out Alec’s clothes, scattering hangers as he dropped them in a pile on the floor.

“You took a year of my life from me. A year.”

Alec watched him with desolation in his eyes. Having emptied the wardrobe, Thomas proceeded to the dresser and began to dump out its contents.

“You’re going to answer for every fucking penny I’ve wasted on you.”

As he continued to strip the room bare, Alec’s voice ventured out from the bed behind him, tiny and meek.

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Fine. Go.”

Without looking around, Thomas heard Alec rise from the bed, soft footsteps crossing the rug towards the en-suite. But they didn’t stop there. Instead, he heard the drawer of the vanity table sliding open.

“Let me go.”

Thomas turned to see Alec pointing a revolver squarely at him.

“Let me go,” he repeated, his voice trembling.

Throughout the entirety of their relationship, the thought of Alec possessing a gun had never even crossed his mind. Of course. Of course Cobb wouldn’t send him into enemy territory unarmed.

“Don’t be a fool,” Thomas said, “Put that down.”

“Only if you let me go.”

“Put that down and I’ll pretend you didn’t just threaten me.”

The revolver wavered in Alec’s hand, its barrel sinking towards the floor as if he didn’t have the heart to aim it.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Mister Shelby,” he said, “All I wanted was to take care of my daughter.”

“You pull that trigger, my brothers will cut you into pieces and burn whatever’s left. How does that help your daughter, eh?”

“I just - I just want to leave. Just let me leave.”

There was no malice or anger in Alec’s face. Just fear. Changing tact, Thomas softened his tone.

“Listen. If you do as you’re told, you won’t get hurt. But if you walk out that door, you’ll find nothing but pain. Give me the gun.”

“I - I don’t - ”

“You said you did all this for Clara. If that’s true, then think of her. If I die, so will you, and there’ll be nobody left in this world to protect her. That’s not what you want, is it?” Thomas was reaching out his hand, palm-up, open. “You’ve survived this long by being clever. Don’t start being stupid now. Give me the gun, eh? Give it to me.”

At a loss, Alec gave up, his shoulders sinking in defeat.

Thomas’s outstretched hand touched the metal.

“There we go,” he said as he began to ease the weapon out of Alec’s inexperienced grasp, “That’s it.”

But as he looked into the young man’s eyes, he saw them widening, terror staging a last-second rebellion against surrender.

Alec’s nerve failed him, and perhaps without even meaning to, he pulled the trigger.

The shot rang out loudly in the enclosed room. Thomas recoiled, instinctively clutching his stomach, checking himself for blood. He expected pain, but it never arrived - the bullet had flown harmlessly past his body into the wall behind him.

Alec dropped the revolver onto the rug and fled.

“Fuck,” Thomas gasped, the sound of his brush with death still ringing in his ears. Then he collected himself. He snatched up the fallen firearm, checked the cylinder to find five shots still chambered inside, and gave chase.

Bursting out of the bedroom, he was just in time to see Alec emerge from the nursery, clutching a large bundle in his arms: Clara wrapped in a blanket.

“Stop,” Thomas barked.

Alec ignored him, scurrying across the landing towards the stairs. Thomas could’ve caught him easily, but hung back, worried about Alec’s socked feet on the polished floorboards. If he fell while holding Clara…

“Stop! You’ve got nowhere to go!”

Reaching the banisters, Alec found his path blocked by Arthur and John as they ascended. Their pistols were drawn. Unable to retreat, he dithered on the spot for a few seconds, then gave up and crouched down on the floor, trying to shield Clara with his body.

“Tommy, what the hell happened?” Arthur said, “We heard a shot.”

“The little bastard pulled a gun on me. Almost shot me.”

“You want him dead?”

“No. Don’t shoot,” Thomas commanded.

Disturbed by the raised voices, Clara let out a small, mewling cry of discomfort. Arthur wavered, but John showed no sympathy; he was ready to pull the trigger.

“What are we waiting for, Tom?” he said, not taking his eyes off Alec, aiming steadily at the lowered head as it trembled. “Just say the word.”

“Do not shoot. Johnny, Arthur, do not fucking shoot, do you hear me? Alec, come here.”

Alec was frozen to the spot, paralysed with fear.

“Come here,” Thomas repeated. “I won’t hurt her.”

Alec slowly rose to his feet, his posture hunched, trying to stay as small as possible. He crept back across the landing.

“You stay put,” Thomas commanded, “Arthur, you guard him. John, you come with me. We’ve got business to attend to.”

Arthur obeyed, grabbing Alec’s arm with a muttered curse and pushing him into the nearest room: the nursery. As Alec backed up against the cot, he turned his gaze to Thomas and said despairingly:

“Just let me go. You said it yourself, it’s over. I’m not a threat to you, Mister Shelby.”

“We’ll just have to find out, won’t we?” Thomas said, and shut the door in his face, sealing him and Clara inside.

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! Sorry for not sending in any asks… I’ve been opening my phone, thinking to myself “hm maybe I send in an ask”, typing about half of it, then passing out in bed. Every single time it doesn’t save and at this point it’s kinda annoying so I decided to write this as fast as possible as to not fall asleep while doing so :). Anyways the week has been a WEEK. Kinda drama ish but too much to type so we won’t get into it but the only hint you get is that I’m pining over someone I reaaaally shouldn’t be pining over.

What animal do you think represents you best? I imagine people not as who they are but what they are associated with in my mind so you to me are like a big buff English teacher who in my mind looks like a buff version of Hedwig the owl

Name one thing you regret doing this week? I regret going to bed so late yesterday and still waking up at the asscrack of dawn.

Favourite thanksgiving food? (I don’t really celebrate it especially since it’s American thanksgiving and I no America but mine is always mashed potatoes)

FUN FACT: THERE ARE GAY PENGUINS!!! THEY CAN RAISE CHILDREN TOGETHER!!! DOLPHINS AND OTHER BIRDS CAN BE GAY TOO 🥺🥺🥺😫😫😫❤️❤️❤️. They’re adorable. They are more likely to be gay in captivity like zoos because it gives them more time and energy to be explorative with that and even though I think this is pretty well known I thought it was cute so I had to say it.

You have my sympathy, this has been a week.

1. Hard to say - I like most animals. Haitch used to compare me to a cat, so maybe that? Definitely not buff though.

2. Lost my temper with a couple of students this week. One seemed determined to get kicked out on his first day (and succeeded): he verbally abused some of the girls in the corridor, abused some of the other students in class, and then went for me. I had called him out on the others, gave multiple warnings, and now has the dubious honour of being the first (and so far only) student I've ever kicked out of class. He is not coming back. The other was a girl with considerable anger issues who I've otherwise got a good relationship with, but she ended up forcing my hand with her behaviour yesterday and I had to put my foot down with her. Not a good week.

3. Not a thing in the UK, at all. To the extent I don't really know what Americans eat during the holiday except, maybe, turkey. Which I view with disdain - no good ingredient should require that level of work to stop it from becoming tasteless sawdust when you cook it.

4. While that's very sweet, I have a horror of penguins and dolphins. Bottle nosed dolphins are known to kill their own young for personal amusement. And, well, the existence of Adélie penguins proves there is no God.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not reacting/cheering for my aunt and her kids?

I (24F) am in an extended family groupchat. I usually do not have time to actually read all the messages, much less to write anything. I often open it and skim through the messages and everyone can see I've read them. Sometimes I do participate if it is a topic I can help with (I can usually help with plant related stuff, and I often jump right into a debate when I catch my aunties falling for facebook lies about ingredients or things like that)

Anyway, at one point my grandmother said that one of my aunts (35ish? I really don't know, sorry) was really sad I was not interacting with her messages at all. And while it wasn't intentional, it was true. I scrolled back to see what I've said to whom, and I never interacted with that aunt. But it wasn't because I did not like her, it was just... I had nothing to respond. I honestly do not care about her family having a trip to the zoo, what she had for lunch and I really did not watch 5 minute videos of her kid (2nd grade) playing football. So I just did not respond, because I had nothing to say and I wasn't interested. Besides, my other aunts interacted plenty with her, so I never thought I should be obligated to respond.

Anyway, I am usually fueled by spite, and my grandmother pointing that thing out had the opposite effect - I stopped interacting with the groupchat at all, even when I did have the time and something to say. I contemplated just leaving the groupchat, but I was tagged specifically one day to respond to something, so I stayed and tried to be nicer, just by leaving emoji's to that aunt's messages. However, life is life, and my efforts soon were forgotten because I just... don't have the energy.

However, one day, my aunt posted a facebook link to a post from a geography competition. And I was pretty sure my cousin (her son) won something, and I even opened the link, but there was a long list of kids and I just didn't bother to find my cousin's name there, so I, once again, did not react.

A day later my grandmother sent me the same facebook link and said my aunt would be happy if I reacted to the message in the groupchat. Which I think is ridiculous? Especially because the kid isn't even in the groupchat, and only his mother would see it? Anyway, I kind of got in a fight with my grandma about that, saying no one ever praised me as a kid for winning competitions, especially the same aunt who now feels bad for me not cheering her and her son on. So, I did not react to the message and once again went mostly silent in the groupchat.

But overall, I feel like I am the asshole for not being interested in the lives of my relatives and their kids. It really is not that hard to engage in groupchat conversations, right? However, I don't really want to act like I am interested, while I am not at all. Maybe I am cold hearted for not caring about their holiday trips, work/school events and minor health problems (eg someone having a fever).

However, to defend myself, I was actually very busy during the described events. I worked and studied full time (it is hell don't do it) (graduating soon though yeehaw), and most messages I read while walking from one point to another, skimmed through in the evenings before bed or when I was waiting in a queue for something. Moreover, the said aunt never has expressed any interest in my life, so I did not feel any obligation to be interested in her life. However, I never also said to anyone how I was doing, and no one really knew I was dying from exhaustion most of the time, so they probably assumed I was just... specifically being a dick.

So was I? Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Hotel - Rewatch Thoughts (Episode 1, Part 1)

Notes: As I’ve been re-reading some of my favorite things (as in, not necessarily just fanfics, but other stuff that I enjoy) I got part of the way through @canary3d-obsessed’s “Restless Rewatch: The Untamed” and thought to myself that I should do one of these for Hazbin Hotel!  I can’t do a first time reacting to, because by this point I’ve watched it a good eight times -_- But this way I can point out some of the things that I’ve noticed on multiple rewatches, some of which prove just how clever the team behind this show is!  Also, you will get unapologetic Huskerdust shipping.  This is just my life now.

__________

Episode 1

So we start off with Charlie giving us the background story on Heaven, Hell, daddy Lucy, mama Lili, and all of that.  Heaven was “good,” Lucifer was a dreamer who thought of free will, the elders of Heaven said “nah,” Lucifer said “but what if yea,” and shit went sideways.

As someone who likes watching reaction videos on YouTube, I’ve been surprised by the number of people who have watched this intro and gone “Who’s Lilith?”  And then there are the ones who say they heard about her from Diablo 4.  I feel like Lilith isn’t… rare lore?  I don’t know where or when I first heard about Lilith, but that kind of supports my stance of surprise?

(I tried to show my religious friend Hazbin – leaning on the “it’s about redemption” point – and it was actually the mention of Lilith that first triggered her?  Because “you have to get really deep into things to find out about Lilith”?  I am confused.)

I won’t go into my theories too heavily at this point – I’ll put up a final chapter for those so I can take it down in humiliation when the show laughs in my face later – but Eve looks very, very evil when she gets that fruit…

Anyway, Luci and Lili got exiled, Luci developed depression, Lili developed magic song powers then fluffed off seven years ago.  Don’t worry, Charlie – your mom just went to go get some milk and cigarettes.

Genuinely, is Lilith being a song demon why everyone in Hell has pre-choreographed musical numbers?  If she “empowered demon-kind” with her songs, does that include giving them all baby song powers?  We know that these songs aren’t reality breaks because at the end of “Loser, Baby” the sharks comment on the song.  (There’s also Vaggie and Angel’s discussion in “Happy Day in Hell” but since that’s in-song it feels like a less-strong argument.) 

So it turns out that Charlie has been speaking this whole prolog bit aloud to herself.  Relatable, girl – me dictating to myself the entire course of actions it takes to get through my email inbox.  My officemate wears headphones so she won’t think I’m talking to her when I start talking to myself.

Also, poof – kitty! 

I love KeeKee (pronounced “key-key” because, and this is true, she’s a key).  But I also don’t know what the point of KeeKee is?  If it’s just to give Charlie a pet, that’s totally fine.  She also has Razzle and Dazzle, but Charlie could be one of those people with two cats, a full fishtank, a canary, and a husky and that’s totally chill.

(Why yes, my in-laws’ place is a zoo, why do you ask?)

I think I saw somewhere that KeeKee is the key to the hotel?  But when Lucifer pops up later he immediately coos over KeeKee like Charlie has had her forever, so she obviously didn’t come with the hotel.  Did Charlie change the locks on the hotel to KeeKee-compatible locks after she bought the place?  I assume this is a metaphorical key? 

(Lucifer and KeeKee in episode 5.)

Vivienne has said that KeeKee is a “physical manifestation of the hotel” but even that doesn’t make a lot of sense with the timeline…  *Shrugs*

Charlie and Vaggie talk, and I honestly get so much amusement out of people who are like “Is that her sister?  Are they best friends?”  And I know that they didn’t, like, make out in their opening scene.  But I didn’t ever suspect that they weren’t girlfriends?  Maybe it’s just because I read into pretty much all media from a queer lens.

(Right here, ma’am.)

Charlie will go on to call Vaggie her girlfriend much later in episode 5 and make it official-official, but if you don’t go into everything with a straight-is-default mindset I’m not sure how you miss it.

We blip into Alastor’s take on a commercial for a hotel.  Which is thoroughly enticing to exactly… Alastor.

(Quick question on the sinner designs – and I won’t stop every time we see a cluster of sinners to do this.  But everyone’s design has something to do with how they lived or died, right?  Angel is from a “web of crime” family, Husk is an unlucky black cat [I know, he’s a tuxedo cat not a fully black cat], Alastor was shot by a hunter like a deer… was grenade man some type of bomber?  A war criminal?  What is his story???)

His little hand-drawn picture is kind of cute, but it also makes me laugh because we actually see another character do something similar later on: Vox!

(And, yeah, Charlie obviously.)

I want someone to write the fic where Alastor and Vox’s relationship started in an introductory art class before descending into the chaos we see in episodes 2 and 8.

Vaggie does not like Alastor’s sense of humor and starts yelling at him.  Charlie tries the *kindergarten teacher* nice feedback.  “I love your use of color,” she says, staring at his construction paper covered in scribbled blobs of blue and orange.  “Very creative.”

(“Maybe if you crumpled your drawing into a little ball like this, it would look better in the trashcan, honey!”)

Alastor doesn’t see the problem here.  Alastor seems to have exactly zero capacity to accept anything that isn’t Alastor’s way, so this is unsurprising.

And then, with the sultry wail of a saxophone, we’re introduced to the bestest spider (and the only spider this horrifically arachnophobia author actually adores:) Angel Dust

Angel is totally willing to shoot an amateur porno right there on the sofa if it will help draw sinners to the hotel for Charlie.

And this would actually probably work in Hell, honestly.  The horniest sinners actually would be knocking the walls down if they thought that with every night’s stay you got a free round with Hell’s most famous porn star.  “Cum to the Hazbin Hotel for some ‘quality time’ with our singular resident.”

I am curious what Angel’s concept for his porno commercial was.  Just him and Alastor banging dirty on the coffee table in the foyer?  Night in the life of the brothel that is Angel’s bedroom?

(Also, I know Val owns Angel in the studio and Angel has some freedom outside of it, but does that include shooting his own pornos?  Is it okay if they’re not for money?  Or is it still not okay because Angel doesn’t own rights to his own image?  Would Angel have to charge so Val could get his cut?)

Charlie doesn’t want to exploit Angel that way, but Angel starts listing off all of his highly exploitable attributes.  He lists the legs twice, which is hilarious, but I’m immediately zeroed in on “the gag reflex.” 

You’d think that for someone who makes a significant amount of his living sucking dick that it should be “the lack of a gag reflex” but the thing about Angel is that he’s not exactly sucking dick for the nicest guys around.  Honestly, the fact that he does have a gag reflex and therefore will be gagging and choking and drooling is probably a turn-on for his usual partners.

We’re interrupted from Angel attempting to “keep going all night, baby,” by Lucifer calling, and the fact that his contact image in Charlie’s phone is a rubber duck in Lucifer’s top hat is honestly too cute?

Angel wants to know why Alastor can’t just make people stay in the hotel.  And the timing on this animation is actually a little weird.  After he says that he can, Husk chimes in with “Why do you think I’m here?” but Alastor is already moving to see around Vaggie as Husk starts talking.  Has he primed Husk to be his hype man if someone starts asking questions like this?

Here's Alastor, looking at Husk before Angel and Vaggie even turn their heads – and Alastor had to move his whole *torso* to see around Vaggie.

A: “Now, remember.  If anyone starts asking if I’m big and bad, you say yes.”

H: “Sure, Alastor.”

A: “I mean, I’ll say so first.  But then you jump in and talk me up.”

H: “Yeah, all right.”

A: “But, like, right away.”

H: “Uh-huh.”

A: “Should we practice?  We should practice.”

I do find it funny that we know the timeline – Alastor, Husk, and Niffty have been at the hotel a week per Vaggie’s words earlier.  But Husk is already grousing about them bitching and moaning all the time.  It’s been seven days?!  How much bitching and moaning are you guys doing?!  And it’s not just listening to, like, Angel bitch and moan.  It’s “you fucks.” 

(Or “you fuck’s” because Amazon doesn’t know how to pluralize a swear word?) 

Vaggie didn’t even want a bar, but I’m betting it took her about two piscos on the rocks to be over that.

We also get our official series intro to Niffty here when she says “I like being forced!” in her happy little voice with a wide smile. 

(God, I want the Niffty episode.)

Angel starts hitting on Husk, but (YMMV) I feel like at this point Angel isn’t trampling all over Husk’s boundaries the way he does later.  He’s just throwing passes and Husk is kind of engaging him?  By responding?  He threatens Angel, making it clear that the flirting is unwelcome, absolutely. 

But I kind of want to see where the conversation would have gone if Vaggie hadn’t stepped in.  At some point it might have gotten snappier, but Angel wasn’t in meltdown mode like he is in “Masquerade” so they probably could have kept bickering for a bit.

Vaggie and Angel start talking about the core premise of the show.  Is Hell the end of the road?  Maybe, but also maybe not.  Charlie thinks that it’s worth trying so that’s what Vaggie is going to do.

We as rewatchers know that where you end up in the afterlife isn’t as permanent of an assignment as the show makes it sound.  And Vaggie I’m sure highly suspects so as well.  This conversation is literally happening with one person who was in Heaven and now lives in Hell.

Though I do have to wonder if there’s a teeny tiny part of Vaggie that hopes the hotel fails, though?  If Sinners really can be redeemed into Heaven, then she has to double/triple/quadruple think about what she’s done as an Exorcist.  If the Sinners prove irredeemable, it doesn’t *justify* what she did or anything, but it could potentially relieve some of the guilt for her.

(Blake Roman’s delivery on “crack is expensive” is my favorite moment from episode 1.)

If we didn’t know that Charlie was drowning in daddy issues, I feel like we get a good demonstration at the end of her phone call.  Yes, she’s excited and happy and hopeful.  But she also says “Okay” and hangs up. 

Maybe Lucifer said, “I’ll talk to you soon” or something and she said “okay” back.  But I never hang up after a call with my dad without a “love you, bye.”

IDK why Charlie calls Vaggie over except to show her hyperactive squirrel brain going wild.  Alastor and Angel are staring at them and seem like they can hear every word even after Charlie had Vaggie come around the corner.

Vaggie knows that Charlie means Adam, right?  She has to.  Charlie says “the leader of the angel army” and as of now, I mean… that’s Adam.

Also, initially I missed the detail that Adam was the one to call the meeting. 

Was he going to inform Lucifer face-to-(virtual)-face that they were moving up the next extermination?  Do Lucifer and Adam meet regularly?  I think not from some of the dialogue in episode 8, but then what is the Heaven Embassy for?

(We'll pick up in Episode 1, Part 2 due to Tumblr's 30 images-per-post limit.)

[rennorthernlights]

The World We Knew

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4: Snakes In The Garden,

Warnings: The depictions of the priest are not at all an embodiment of other priests and Christian. Implied grooming, Creepy older dudes being weird around KidReader, Nothing happens to the KidReader though, Zombies, Mentions of minor character death, Sexism towards woman, Zombie apocalypse brings out the worst

Backstory to get a better insight about Issac and Radio girl’s first group. (Radio girl being Reader)

She remembers the day she went to church for the first time. An impressionable age of 10 years old. Her mother made her father swore that if they ever had children that they should be allowed to choose their faith. Her father, a devout Christian, agreed to her mothers, an atheist in every sense of the word, request.

Granted her father tried to persuade his daughter to go to church, she just never wanted to go. That is until her father made Captain in the police department. His church was holding a celebration for her father’s honorable work. The people were nice and even though she hated being forced into a frilly dress that her mother picked out. She’d much rather watch Kim Possible or maybe Dragon Ball Z but at least Sunday school was fun.

Some of the kids even made her laugh and she sorta had a lil crush on one of the boys too… much to the teasing and amused smile her mother gave her. “Alright now, lil lady church is starting.” Her mom said as she waved goodbye to the cute looking boy. Sitting in the hard pews as she had half a mind to fall asleep that is until the robe looking dude walked up to the wooden thing. Tugging on her mom’s sleeve to ask her who and what that is. “That man is a priest. Father Abraham Norton and that’s a pulpit.” An O on her face as she nods and looks to him.

They say that children can understand an adult far better than an adult could. Something about being able to clock when something just ain’t right. That tiny, small feeling of something most would miss.

The beady eyes of the priest is what set her off. Not her fault since she was always the best at games like I Spy and Hide-and-Go-Seek. He was off… so to speak, at least about the way the man looked. “Like a snake,” her brows furrowed as her mom pinches her elbow to be quiet and to listen. She couldn’t shake how much of a snake he looked like to her. Blame all the zoo books she got for Christmas.

The way his tongue rolled on S’s and the eyes the man had. Like they were searching for something. “Good morning, my lambs.” The man says with a soft smile. Eyeing the crowd and she shakes her head of nerves when his eyes land on her for a bit. “Now I know we are celebrating and honoring our new appointed Captain but there is something that I must say.” His shoulders fall as he looks sad but almost forced, like when she gets caught taking another cookie when she’s not supposed to.

She looks to her mom but her mother just tilts her head motions for her to keep listening. “I have come to ask for forgiveness.” Some people gasp in the congregation. The Father continues, “20 years ago, I gave in to the sins of desire for a woman. I was seduced by the way she looked, and I couldn’t stop myself.” His brows creasing as he places a hand on his chest.

Her dads eyes widen and then narrow, like he’s calculating. His thumb tapping against his thigh as he always does when he’s recalling something. Until it stops. “If we were back in the old days then I would gladly pluck out my eyes. I’ve found out recently that I have a son. A man that is now 22 years old named, Issac.” He extends his hand, and a man stands. Tall, light skin, brown hair and green, beady eyes. The same as his father.

“A fitting name, Issac Norton-Cortes,” her father grasps her mothers hand and they stare at each other. Wordlessly speaking as the Fatherspeaks solemnly. “Unfortunately, Issac’s mother has passed from unforeseen events. Her last wish was for Issac to be joining our church to help out so please… bare no ill will towards him. It is not his fault that his mother seduced me. He is innocent in his creation that was formed by sinful lust.”

The priest is still speaking as her mother taps her hand, and she looks confused before her mom says, “We are leaving. Now.”

Standing up and walking out as her father has a distant look, a thundering storm raging in his eyes. Being sent up to her room as she doesn’t understand why her mom and dad wanted to suddenly leave. Her dad loves going to church, makes an effort to always have Sunday off. Her dad was about to be celebrated or something like that. So she couldn’t understand why they’d want to leave. Why is her dad so… strange right now?

Tip toeing out of her room as she overhears her parents speaking softly, “-other is Elizabeth Norten. I knew her, Maria. She wasn’t seductive or would ever do something like that. She was just barely 18! Now I know why she suddenly forced to leave.”

“Jamie you can’t mean…”

“Look, she… Elizabeth was troubled, got into fights, did some smoking but she’d never... She would’t.” Her father sounds… upset and angry. “For years I wondered what happened. Her parents never told me.

“Sounds like you really knew her.” Her mother says softly. Her brows turned upward as she’s never seen her husband look so. So distraught before. “Was she your friend?” A tentative ask.

“She…” he sighs, “she helped me out a lot with my dad. Sure, she was a bad influence sometimes, but she stuck up for me whenever I came in with a new bruise from my old man.” She moves closer to get a better look over parents as they look sad. Her mother holding her father in a tight embrace.

Whispering words that she can’t hear as her mom rubs a hand on her dads back. “Her parents brought her to Father Abraham to see if he could help. She wasn’t the same after the first week that she’d have confessionals. She became more and more quiet. Wearing hoodies and always being covered.” His voice breaks.

The realization of it comes crashing down on him nearly 22 years later. “If I’d known… If I had just taken a closer look… I didn’t even reach out to her.” Tears forming in her fathers eyes and the man rarely cries. “How did I not think that it was suspicious?” He remembers how Elizabeth’s parents suddenly disowned her. A crushing guilt in his chest. Her mother says nothing but just holds him to her. “No one knew why… until now.” He glares hard at the floor.

From then on, they’d barely go back to that church. Making up a reason to be excused as the priest smiles assuredly. She was always around her mother since she wouldn’t let her little girl out of her sight. Getting tired of it like children do with overbearing parents. She decided that to sneak away to play with the other kids.

Playing soccer with the kids until she gets tired of it. Can only kick a ball so much before boredom creeps in. She spots the Churches garden and voice in her head to not go in but against her better thought she goes in. Her eyes widening as the garden looks well cared for. Different plants and even some trees. She grins as she crouches near one of the plots. Her hands digging into the soil.

“Hello there,” a voice calls out as she sits with her knees on the dirt, playing with the rolly pollys. The other kids laughing in the background, most likely still playing soccer. She tenses and moves to look at whose is speaking. Green eyes and a wide grin, something that supposed to be kind yet for her 10 year old mind… she doesn’t feel okay.

“All by your lonesome in the garden? Where’s your parents?” He looks around before he steps forward. “My names Issac and you are?”

“My mommy and daddy says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” She tells him shyly as she stands up. Her feet shuffle close.

The man grins and he holds out his hand, “That’s very smart. You’re a very smart girl, aren’t you?” He laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the world, “Well my name is Issac.” Grabbing her hand and shaking it. “No longer strangers, see? I bet your name is Eve. A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

Confusion evident on her face at the name, “My names not Ev-“

A voice cuts through the garden making both of them look towards the person speaking. “There you are! Where have you been I’ve been calling you for an hour.” Her mother spots her and rounds the corner faster as she spots Issac. The man grips her hand harder as she tugs back. Finally letting go when her mother places a hand on her shoulders. Her eyes narrowing as she holds her hand out for her little girl to hold onto.

“Gotta be more vigilant with your lil girl. Almost snatched her up,” he laughs but something in his eyes isn’t playful. Her mother pushes her behind her as she smiles far too sweetly. He continues speaking as he looks down at her and not her mother, “She’s a pretty thing too. She’ll make all the boys fawn over her especially at her age right now.”

The smile on her mothers face drops as she glares at him. “10 year old girls shouldn’t have to worry about boys. Stay away from my daughter.” Her tone tight as she moves her and her daughter along as he smiles wide.

As soon as they were closer to her father her mother told her to not speak to Issac again. That the man is up to no good especially since he’s talking to a 10 year old girl like that. Her mom can’t prove it but that man… that man is not a good man. She just knows it. Her mom has never been wrong about people before.

————————————————————

She groans awake. Her hands clenching and unclenching as her eyes blink. “Finally awake, my Eve?” She shivers with disgust at the nickname. Eve, it’s what he called her on the day they first met, and he’s been calling her that ever since. No matter how many times she tells him that’s not her name. Her head pounding as she tries to remember what happened. Her hand moving to massage her head, but she finds that she can’t move them. “Your head hurt, Eve? Sorry I was so rough with you.” The fake worry in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed by her as she glares. “Shouldn’t fight your husband next time.”

“We ain’t married, Issac.” Glaring at him hotly as she struggles in the binds. “You’re not my husband and I ain’t your damn wife!”

“Oh, silly me,” he laughs that stupid noise. All nasally and all teeth, “How presumptuous of me. We never did consummate on our wedding night.” Her glare hardens as she remembers all too well that night and the days before that lead up to it.

————————————————————

She’s been on her own for a couple weeks. Given up hope that her parents are alive. Both aren’t answering their phones and when she went to where her mom worked it was already overrun with dead children and screaming teachers. Her father was one of the first responders to downtown Houston…. They don’t call that place a Dead-zone for nothing now days. It’s a miracle she even made it this far with what little she has. She’s been seeing a group every now and then… maybe she could talk to them and ask to join?

“Holy shit,” her eyes widen as she recognizes the priest. Her parents never let her go back after that whole incident with Issac when she was 10. Apparently, that alone was enough for their parents to leave that church. But… beggars can’t be choosers especially since the Priest is opening up the church for everyone to go to. The priest immediately recognized her as “Jamie and Maria’s daughter.” He smiled with those beady eyes that she could hear her younger selfs thought of him being a snake.

It wasn’t so bad save for the son that kept trying to talk to her. 2 months have come and gone faster than many anticipated. The random cold days and hot days messing with peoples perception of what month but she’s betting it being near December. She had hoped that the son of the priest would’ve forgotten about her in the 2 months that she’s been here but no.

“He really, like really, likes being around you.” Angelica, a friend she’s made in the time that she’s been here. “You don’t think it’s strange?”

“I know it’s strange but s’not like I can mention it.” She sighs as she grabs her pack. “If you haven’t already noticed. His dad is becoming like the leader of this group.” An annoyance in her tone as she thinks on it. It wouldn’t be too bad if the priest wasn’t spouting his ideas to everyone. At first everyone had a voice but slowly but surely it’s like the woman are being treated less. Just a couple days ago and she was almost taken off a scavenging hunt due to her being a woman. Issac stepped in and that’s the only reason why she’s still on the team.

“Doesn’t even make sense that they wanted to take you off. You’re one of the best especially since they’ve been coming back with less and less people.” Angelica notes. It’s true though. Yesterday the Andrews brothers, Edward and Connor, died. Issac was leading that scavenging group. Eric and Alexi died four days ago also when Issac was leading them. 2 weeks prior a couple more died… Issac was also… leading at the time. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s killing them.” She snorts and elbows her friend for being so bold with her words.

“Don’t say that. It’s not like those men were helping out round town anyways. Edward was a drunk and tried to drink all the alcohol that we’ve been using for wounds.” Rolling her eyes but it does seem strange that people have been dying. “Besides… it was zombies that killed them.” Patting her pants as since Issac would always come back to tell the harrowing tale of the dead outside, “that’s bound to happen at this point.”

“I’m just saying.” Angelica raises her hands. Her eyes flickering as some of the men come around. A look of disgust on Angelica’s face and she laughs. She wishes she would’ve meet her in university. “Here comes the dicks.” Her arms crossed. She knows her friend’s just upset because she’s been on ‘cleaning duty’. Some old fart told her that it’s better for a woman to be doing a ‘womans job’.

She’s just glad that— “Eve!” Speak of the devil. Issac comes running up with a wide grin. All teeth in it as he eyes her up and down making her bite back a shiver.

“That ain’t my name.” Gritting through her teeth as politely as she can. He’s been insistent on calling her that. It was cute in the beginning but now it’s just downright annoying. “What’s going on?”

“You’ll always be my Eve.” He laughs, his hands on his hips. Leaning forward, “No, no, just wanted to tell you that they’re passing out some more rations.” Her eyebrows perk up and even Angelica looks shocked. Angelica’s lips purse as she stands closer.

“Thought we were running low?” He looks at Angelica, his fingers flexing a lil as his left foot shifts a bit.

“We are but,” he pauses as he looks back from the friend to her. “We found some deer a couple weeks ago and we’ve been getting it ready to share it. Isn’t that wonderful, Eve?” He steps closer getting more in her space.

“Couple weeks ago?” Angelica muses and is shoulders tense a bit. “You mean when you came back with nothing?” Her arms crossed as she ain’t buying it. Angelicas’ never liked Issac, been more vocal about him being a creep and honestly that’s what she loves about Angelica. She’s never been afraid to speak her mind. “Came back with nothing except some men dead save for your friends. Strange ain’t it?” He turns his head towards her, his green eyes staring at her as his hands flexes again.

“We found a deer but didn’t want to say anything incase it’s infected. As for the men that died, I told you. Zombies attacked us.”

“Was that before or after you found this miraculous deer?”

Her hand touches on Angelica’s shoulder as Issac and her are having a stand off. The atmosphere shifting and she swears she could hear a pin drop. “Angelica.” She says and then looks to Issac and her, “A deer was found that’s all that matters.” Her friend scoffs and backs away. Walking away to cool off..

“You should’t be friends with her, Eve.” Watching Angelica leave before he turns and faces her fully. “My dads gonna announce some things when the food is passed out in the church. I’ll save you a seat.” He doesn’t offer, he never offers and always expects her to sit next to him.

“I appreciate that but I’m already sitting with Angelica.”

His hand reaches up and puts a hair behind her ear. It takes everything in her to not shove his hand away. “A pity. You need better friends.” A grin spreads on his face and she takes a step back.

Later that night when the food from the deer was passed the priest announced that he will be taking more of a leadership role, “Just until a vote happens.” He smiles wide and some of the men and even the woman are happy about it. Angelica had her concerns about it but nothing could be done. A couple months go by and the ones that tried to be leader would either get sick or somehow die. Of course, her friend called it suspicious.

“Georgie was the last person to try for it and he went on a scavenging group and somehow died by a zombie attack.” She says hotly, she hasn’t let it go and has spoken about it again and again. “Georgie was built like a brick house and knew his way with a knife and you’re telling me that he somehow died but not Issac or Issac’s friends?” She scoffs and scrubs the dishes.

It has been suspicious. Especially with the way things have been turning within the group. More and more women are put in ‘womanly’ roles. The men have outright refused to wash or clean things. Mandatory church meetings whenever the priest feels ‘called’ to say something too. Even she’s been takin off the scavenging groups finally. The men even tried to take her fathers rifle from her.

Doesn’t help that people have been on edge, everyone thinks the rations might be bad or spoiled since a good amount have been getting sick. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you need to keep it down. Ange,” her friend walks off in a huff, “Ange, come on.” Her hand reaches out and grabs hers. “I trust you. You know I do. If you say it’s weird then I believe you.” Her voice softer as she looks at her friend.

“Look I think we sho—“ the sound of a bell ringing cuts her off. “Great.” Glaring in the direction of the church. “What has he been called to speak about now.” Normally the loud noises would attract the attention of the zombies but cars and some wooden fences have been used as walls. Along with patrols, their relatively safe. “Let’s get this over with.”

The people move closer to the church, the cold making people bundle up as much as possible. Texans aren’t built for the cold. More for heat and crazy hurricanes. Everyone thinks it’s somewhere near February. Maybe early April since sometimes it can still be cold. One of the reasons why everyone’s been snappy lately. Typically, animals should be coming back since Spring is slowly creeping up. “Yeah,” she murmurs in agreement, “Let’s hear what he has to say now and move along.”

The priest smiles at everyone coming in, not like anyone has a choice. His Bible prepped as he speaks on the pulpit. He drones on and on about sin and that the sinners outside the walls are trying to lead people astray, the sinners being the zombies and anyone not in town. Something she’s found weird. He keeps speaking and she looks around bored until he says something that makes her tense. “And as for the lovely woman of our town. God has put on my heart that it is now time for us to repopulate the earth. Even some of the man has said that they’ve felt God’s call to marry some of the woman here.”

Her blood runs cold as she can feel eyes on her. Angelica moves her hand to grip hers. “I would be more than happy to marry off people in our lovely town. I think it’s time for marriage and eventually… children.” The smile he gives doesn’t feel right. She doesn’t like the way he says children. Doesn’t like how she just knows Issac is staring at her. Hair standing up on the back of her neck.

Finally, the sermon ends and she leaves quickly with Angelica in tow. “We need to leave.” Angelica pulls her aside. “I don’t like this one bit. Not shittin on any Christian here but this feels more like a man-made call than God’s call.” And she can’t help but agree. They know they can’t just outright leave. They have no preserves and no way of knowing how bad it is out there since they aren’t allowed out anymore. None of the woman are.

Tensions rising in the town as the men have made proposals but the woman that have been proposed to would say no. The priest would mention how it isn’t right to go against God’s word but he understood by saying, “The ladies are just nervous about having such fine suitors.”

Things changed in the coming months, when Spring slowly started getting warmer. Summer on the horizon. People are still dying on the scavenging groups and people aren’t getting as sick from the rations. Unmarried women are no longer allowed anywhere without a chaperon because of ‘safety’ reasons. “Ladies aren’t as strong as our fellow men. The Lord has implored that we protect the weak and feebler bodies.”

Issac has been more and more insistent with being her chaperone even with Angelica always being around. He’s been hovering more around her, and she hates it especially when he keeps getting in her bubble. Someone tugs on her hand and then pulls her into a closet. “Hey!”

“Shh!” A hand presses to her and she relaxes as she recognized that Angelica is the one that grabbed her. “They’re kicking out some of the woman that has been saying no to getting married.”

“What?”

“Lily, you remember her? Button nose Lilly,” she nods and Angelica continues, “Sam’s been trying to marry her for weeks now. I just overheard Issac saying that he and the men are going to take her stuff and kick her out.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dead fucking serious.” Her stare hard as she leans against the wall. “We need to leave.”

“And go where?”

“Anywhere but here. I’ve told Tommy no 10 times already. If I’m going to get kicked out then I want to do it on my own terms.” Her hand reaches out and grabs hers. “Come with me. No more Issac. No more town. Just us.” Her thumbs rub on her hand. “We can leave this all behind us. Finally visit New York like you were telling me about.”

Thinking it over as she always does, careful and cautious, as she looks at Angelica. “Ange, I…”

“Look I.. I like you,” her eyes widen but Angelica still speaks, “and I don’t want to leave if you don’t. I’ll get kicked out anyways but Issac.” Her face sours. “I know he won’t let you leave. He’s been obsessed with you. I don’t like it. I don’t like how he stares at you.”

“You like me?”

“Is that all you got out of what I said?” Angelica frowns and then slowly smiles. Pulling her closer as she smiles. “Yes, dingus. I like you. Have for a while and I—“ the sound of a bell ringing again and she growls in frustration. Stepping back but a hand grabs Angelica and pulls her close to press a chaste kiss that makes her gasp.

“I like you to.”

“You Motherfucker.” A blush spreading and she glares lightheadedly. Holding her hand as they walk out the closet to listen to what the priest has to say. The sermons have been getting more and more strict. More far-right Christian ideals. The priest stands at the front of the church welcoming everyone in like he always does. His beady eyes stare at her and as she holds Angelica’s hand.

They sit at a back pew, whispering their plan as the priest talks. The men saying their amens as the woman, at least some of them are speaking. “It is with a heavy heart that I must say that Lily White will no longer be in our town.” Some gasps in the congregation as she holds tighter to Angelica’s hand. “From now on, a woman must marry if they are for their hand in marriage. The men have all been called to marry certain woman. To deny that is to deny God. We cannot allow sin and disobedience to be in our town.” They both look at each other and as soon as the sermon ends they nearly run out.

Green eyes watching as they rush out. Not stopping until they are in their shared room. “We need to leave, Ange.” Angelica nods and immediately starts packing their things.

[ask-molly-hh]

Dearest Molly, what was your favorite thing to do when you were alive, I heard your from New York. So what place do you recommend to visit for a traveler like myself?

But yeah, the pier by the factories in the Brooklyn. Expecially the stone one. I'd sit there for hours.

Now mod time ⬇️

Hi so, I visit new york a lot cause of family and I know a lot you can do.

If you like history 100% go to the museum of natural history, and bring your student ID for cheaper entry. Its in manhattan. There's a lot to see, it's not interactive but there's litterally so many rooms to see.

Another museum that I liked is the Immigration Museum on Ellis Island. Ellis Island is right next to the statue of liberty, you take a ferry there, and it's where everyone went to get into the country and was entered through there. It has a lot of history and is kinda depressing but if you visit the statue of liberty, visit ellis.

Bronx zoo, donations on Wednesday for cheep entry, if you like animals, and are okay with the sun it's nice, pretty big

Coney island - take the train there, and walk the board walk. There's the beach, luna park (amusement park), go on the ferris wheel, and eat at the Nathan's hot dogs. It's fun. It's hot as hell in the summer. Avoid the bathrooms like the plauge.

One world observatory - this is on the world trade center, highest point in new york, it's indoors, I was scared out if my mind but it's one hell of a view

Empire state biulding- this one you can go outdoors- go inside, buy a ticket, and go up. There's something amazing about seeing the city so high in an old biulding. Pinicale of modernist architecture. I almost flew off when I was nine cause of how windy it was.

Central Park - it was snowing last time I went to the park and it was so pretty. But yeah, no matter when, it's a nice park.

Winter time, Rockefeller center, there's a giant Christmas tree and it's so worth the view, and go ice skating, it's a blast.

42 street - manhattan. You've heard the song, you know.

34th street - manhattan. Winter only. to see the Macy's Santa windows

Dumbo - mom told me to add, I don't know what she's talking about???

5th Avenue - Brooklyn. Bunch of shops to go down and see.

Industry city - Brooklyn- this used to be a bunch of factories but one they shut down they all got abandoned. Recently they've been turned into stores and plaza and stuff and it's a blast, expecially at night.

Greenwood cemetery- my mom said to add this. Be respectful to the dead please if you visit. It's very peaceful there.

walk the bridges. There's a few. You know about the Brooklyn bridge and yeah. It's a walk but the bridge is pretty if your into exercise.

And general advice. Keep track of you phone and wallet at all times. And always be aware of your surroundings. Expecially the people. Don't go walking alone, look over your shoulder, make sure your not being followed. As much as I love new york it's a city. And citys, expecially new york with how it is right now, is dangerous. Stay safe - al

[stalkedbytrains]

Dead Letters, Missing Wife

First Letter

Dead Letter #6: Beyond the Veil

You didn't sleep much at all last night. You had a lot on your mind. Siobhan was all you could think of. Even if all you can really picture is her hair, her eyes, and those hands crafting your wedding ring.

You haven't taken the ring off since you opened that letter.

No one has really said anything about it. The couple of friends that you eat lunch with have mentioned it.

They accepted the non-answer that you gave about it being a gag gift from a friend from long ago. But there was something in you that felt bad about lying. It's not like you can really explain the whole situation anyway. None of your friends even remember Siobhan or interacting with her even though you know for a fact that Jamie was at your 8th birthday sleepover with Siobhan.

No one really said much or reacted in any weird ways until today.

You were walking down the hallways at school when you crossed paths with you guidance counselor Mrs. Statch.

"Hey honey, that's a nice ring you got there. Tell me someone didn't propose to you at the bleachers and you said yes," the old, but pleasant woman says as she holds out her hand to inspect the ring on your hand.

"Oh no. This is from an old, old friend. We got married as kids, it was a joke. She gave it to me as a joke on my birthday."

"Oh that's cute," she starts, but when her hand touches you there's a sharp smell like ozone burning and a yelp as Mrs. Statch rips her hand away from you and lets out a sound that you can only approximate as a growl.

"Are you ok?" you ask.

Mrs. Statch doesn't say anything for a second as she nurses her hand. She speaks quickly, when she does speak, "An old silver allergy, forgot all about it. Got to go."

The old woman totters off into the crowded hallway full of students that didn't seem to notice a single thing.

You thought about the interaction all day. It was so weird, so strange.

You also tried to notice those people who looked at the ring and didn't say anything, or those that went out of their way to avoid touching it.

On your walk home you started to notice more than a few people who suddenly had to cross the street instead of just walking by you.

A feeling, something you can't quite place, something mysterious and strange, is building in your spine.

The journey is changing you.

You rush home to find the next letter.

"My dearest,

Have I ever told you of my love of parthenogenesis? It's the ability of some animals and plants to just have off spring without the use of a sexual partner.

In plants it's no big deal. I mean there are no plants out there having sex with each other to make little plant babies.

Would be fun to see.

But there are animals in zoos that have no contact with the males of the species. There was a Komodo dragon, a sting ray, and even a few sharks. It happens a lot in lizards.

My favorites are the sharks.

Do you think that the babies, which are genetically identical to their parent, know that they are a clone? Do they have any advantages from being a younger version of their parent? Does the parent even know how to parent themselves?

I know that they are sharks, they are animals that can be very smart, but they do not come close to the level of sentience.

Yet, I can't stop wondering. What would I be like as a parent? Could I be a better parent to myself knowing about all the things that I will experience and feel and go through or would the mere fact that I am my own parent change the offspring in such a fundamental way that it wouldn't even be recognizable to myself?

Sometimes I think life would be easier as a lizard.

Or a shark.

I think I would choose to be a lizard over a shark because finding a nice warm rock to lay on in the sun sounds like an excellent way to spend an afternoon.

I am realizing now how strange this letter must read. I am writing this very late at night, or possibly very early in the morning.

When does the night change over to morning? Is it when the sun starts to rise or is it when the darkness begins to lighten in an almost imperceptible way? I couldn't sleep and I wanted to talk with you like we used to. But we are separate and this letter is the best I can do.

Yours from the beginning to after the end,

Siobhan"

The letter is indeed strange and a little weird. But at the same time you find it funny and endearing. You feel like you know Siobhan a little bit better as a person now.

She loves lizards, and sharks.

It made you think of all the silly conversations you've ever had with friends and people at late night sleep overs.

So far this letter might be your favorite.

It warms you up a little, like a warm rock for you to lay on.

As you lay in your bed staring at the ceiling imaging Siobhan next to you, talking about parthenogenesis and lizards and sharks and komodo dragons. Then you can't stop yourself from thinking about all the other things that can happen at sleep overs, with Siobhan here, with you, in your room.

In your bed.

Your face feels hot.

Before you can get too far in a day dream there's a sudden explosion of noise and energy that you can sense happening downstairs.

From that level of commotion you know that it can only be for one person.

Your brother is home.

You try to collect yourself to go downstairs to say hello, but before you can your bedroom door bursts open as your brother lets himself in.

"Hey nerd. What the hell is happening in here?" He surveys the mess of dead letters and packages from Siobhan that have taken over your room.

"None of your business," you say automatically. "Don't you ever knock?"

"Why? Is there any possibility you'd be doing anything salacious in here? My perfect, sweet little-"

You throw a pillow at his head.

He catches it and is about to throw it right back at you when he suddenly stops.

"Hey, that's an interesting ring."

"Yeah, I got it from an old friend."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Siobhan Winters sent it to me. We got pretend married as kids and she sent this to me."

Your brother fully enters your room and sits down on your chair you have set up in front of your desk.

"That's a name I haven't heard in a while."

"You know her?"

Your brother nods. "She's hard to forget. And if you're wearing that ring, then I assume you know what it means?"

You don't break eye contact with him, you do nod very slowly.

He lets out a long breath that he had been holding for a minute. "Well then. Welcome beyond the veil. I hope you're ready for The Strange."

i have a kofi

[onlypaintedsmiles]

I want it all back…

All of our inside jokes with each other.

Calling you after work every single day just to talk about everything that happened while you ate or played a video game.

When I had mono and you came over with food and sat with me while I cried in pain.

Me coming over for new years even though I worked at 6am the next day, because you always wanted a new year’s kiss and wanted me to be your first.

Cuddling in bed at your mom’s apartment all morning until we got up to get breakfast across the street.

How even though I had to force you to go to parties, social events, work things, you still had a good time because we were together before, during, and after.

The first time I came over to your brother’s, your dad’s, and your mom’s places and you showed me around.

Watching every scary movie or short film imaginable. And sometimes not watching it at all.

When I took you to the part late at night and we made out in the field.

Carpooling to our friend’s house every single time we hung out with her and all the talks in the car.

The flowers you would buy me.

Cuddling with you and especially laying with my head in your lap while you played video games. Kissing you in between games.

Going downtown to restaurants for drinks and cheese curds and even the simple moments like trying to find parking and walking there.

Nights spent really getting to know each other and falling in love till 4am when you were living at your brother’s.

Going to the zoo, state fair, and cheese curd fest with each other.

The personalized gifts we’d gift each other like the ring with our initials and the sweatshirt I stitched a heart into the sleeve.

How you’d remember what time my alarm was set or when I’d go to sleep and wouldn’t text me because you knew it’d wake me. But you would snap me messages and drunk snap me too.

Surprising each other with small gifts in the car for us to see after work when we had a bad day. Or me just buying you small things that made me think of you.

Holding my hand in the car or putting your hand on my leg when we drove anywhere.

When you googled how to tell your best friend you have a crush on her.

All the outfits I would put together for our date nights so that you would think your girlfriend is hot.

Taking every single break together. Waiting for each other before we left work. Hanging out every day off or night off we had from work together. Even hanging out after a night shift, even if it was for just a few hours.

Going to your family’s dinners or hanging out with your mom and you bragging about how much your mom likes me afterwards.

Going to pick n save to buy snacks to eat together and cuddle.

When I’d tease you by sending you pictures of myself after hanging out.

The marks we would leave on each other.

Buying you small gifts whenever something reminded me of you.

The nights where either one of us really just needed to cry to the other and be held by one another.

One of the first nights we hung out alone and the power went out and we watched a movie on your phone and laid together real close.

Wearing your flannels and sweatshirts whenever I was cold or needed something to take home and cuddle when you weren’t around.

How we used to memorize each other’s work schedules.

Watching movies in the parking lot of Culver’s.

The good morning and good night texts.

Not being able to keep our hands off of each other whenever we were together whether it be when we were hanging out or even just driving.

When we would get stupid drunk together and I poured candle wax on your floor on accident.

Falling asleep talking to you on the phone just because or when I had a bad day and wanted to fall asleep to your voice.

The texts we’d send each other about wishing we were cuddling instead.

The time you first said I love you and it was during one of our hour long goodbyes where we were just hugging and talking by my car under the street lights.

All of our favorite places to get food or hang out at. Thinking of “our” places now just haunt my every thought.

Every moment where we had to say goodbye at night and it felt so horrible to leave you and I never wanted to stop kissing you.

The tone in your voice when you would fucking call me pretty…..

I miss you so fucking much.

I miss you as my girlfriend. And I miss you as my best friend. I miss how comfortable I was when I was with you. I just wish you wanted me in your life the same way as you used to. I wish we could pick up where these memories left off. It would be so easy for me to do that with you. I know there’s so much more I could write and there’s a lot more that I left out. There’s the even more personal memories that I won’t write but I’ll always remember. And I know putting them out there is a lot. But you’re the only one who will know and understand where I’m coming from because you were there.… these memories and so many fucking more meant so much to me and it kills me it doesn’t linger in your thoughts like it does mine. I hate how I’m just the past to you. I don’t want that to be it. It can’t be it….