#zumific

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

would you write angst for twd negan? reader getting injured ?

To Be Loved

pairing: Negan Smith x fem!reader

warning: MNDI, 18+, slight smut, cussing, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of sexual assault, depression, anxiety, suicide, death, self harm, angst, angst with happy ending?, reader is described to have certain physical attributes, mentions of sexual assault, mention of battered wife syndrome, let me know if you see anymore

w/c: 8k (Zoo Wee Mama)

a/n: Jeez, yea this was a lot. I’m gonna make a separate post about it but if you need someone to talk to or you know someone that has been or you have been sexually assaulted please don’t hesitate to reach out for help or to talk about it. Men and women and Non binary’s you guys are strong keep your head up!!

National Sexual Assault Line

800-656-HOPE (4673)

I had to do it. I had to give up my mind, body, and soul to save my older brother. I owed him everything, he was the reason I was still alive after all this time. We would spend our days scavenging for food and sometimes we’d forget to even look for food.

We only cared for each other and we would never go anywhere without each other. So when he got sick I didn’t know what to do. I would sit there and watch as he had his eight coughing fit that day sometimes blood came out.

He would give me this look, a look that said *Just leave me here to die and fight to survive.* I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t, “You need to drink this man.” He would just look at me with that look before taking a sip.

“I’m gonna go and see if I can find some more water. This shitty town has to have some bottles floating around,” as soon as I got up from my crouching position I felt his hand grip my ankle. “The only thing floating around is your brain. Use it and get the hell outta here,” I stood in shock at his words.

Sure, he’s one sarcastic son of a bitch, but we always did things together and he never gave up, even when the whole world was against him or in this case trying to kill him he never gave up. “Shut up,” was all I said as I released myself from his grasp and exited the department store we(I) cleared.

I looked around and heard an engine nearby. It sounded like a car so I quickly took my knife out and begun sneaking around some buildings to get to the convenient store. Once I made it to the entrance and began to open the door bullets came flying from behind me.

I quickly ran inside to take cover. The loud noises surely drew those dead freaks out. Not wanting to waste anymore time I sprinted to the back where the fridges were. As I began to look for water I heard the crunching of shattered glass being stepped on.

“Which way do you think she went,” one of them asked, his voice was heavy and sounded mean. “Can’t we just kill her and go one with our day,” the other man sighed and it sounded like he kicked something out of the way because soon a thud followed.

“You know what Negan said about the girls, besides he saw her himself sitting in his damn ass in that car,” hearing that told me everything I needed to know. Just like my brother said, men nowadays don’t want to kill women, they want to take them and do things to them.

Shivering at the thought I carefully snuck around some aisles before approaching one of the men who had picked up a stuffed animal near the front. Taking a quick glance at my surroundings I snuck up to the man and shoved my knife in his throat, not allowing him to make any noises other than soft gurgling and throwing his arms around.

I placed him on the floor softly to not attract noise, “Oh shit!” I heard gun fire in the store and I looked around me. There were those dead things coming after the other guy. Taking my chance I ran to pick up the last three water bottles in the fridges before bolting out the back.

Hearing some more gunfire I quickly made my way back to where my brother was. I nearly dropped the water bottles soon seeing four men guarding the entrance. I grumbled to myself and decided to take a different route to get inside.

Once I entered through the back which stupidly enough was not guarded I took down two more of the men in the department store where my brother is. I attempted to make my way into the room he was in before big arms wrapped around me.

I wasn’t a small tiny person but I wasn’t big either. My family had a history of tall kids so I took advantage and threw my head back making contact with his nose. I wanted to rub the part his nose made contact with but I had no time as another pair of arms wrapped around my neck pulling me back and before I knew it, my feet were off the ground.

I was being carried from my arms and my feet. No matter how much I kept moving their arms were not budging. “Well, well, well, what do we have here,” A voice boomed from in front of me as I was thrown into the floor.

A grunt left my lips, “What the hell? Is that anyway to treat a lady?” The man faked sincerity, throwing a hand to his chest. The two men mumbled an apology to him and he simply shook his head before looking down at me, “My names Negan, what’s yours?” Pushing myself up to look at him I nearly fell back at how close he was to me.

He was crouching in front of me with a grin on his face. He was handsome, I’ll give him that, but nothing disgusts me more than evil men. “Y/N,” I quickly spit out causing him to nod before looking behind him.

“Was that your brother,” my eyes shot up at his choice of wording. Fearing the worst I shot up to check to see if he was dead before I was held down by Negan. “Woah! Calm down pretty lady, he’s alive, buuut he’s not doing so good.”

I sniffed and attempted to back up before I felt something poke the back of my head. I turned to see two guns pointed at my head, no doubt on orders by whoever the hell this guy was.

I looked back at him as he looked deep in thought before feeling his eyes wonder on my body. I suddenly felt naked even though I had more than enough clothes on. I wanted to shield myself and hide away with my brother.

“I have an idea,” Negan grinned from ear to ear. My eyebrow raised as I watched him stand up and pick his bat up. Shit. That thing had barbed wire around it. My eyes widened in shock as I was sure he was going to kill me.

Instead he crouched down in front of me again this time his bat was resting on his shoulder, “How about I put your boyfriend out of his misery and take you with me so you can serve under me OR,” he exaggerated the or.

“He comes with us and we treat him under the condition you marry me.”

I chose the latter in hopes to see my brother at his best again. I couldn’t live in a world without him, I just couldn’t. So reluctantly I sat next to Negan as we made our way back to where he called “The Sanctuary “

“So, how long have you and your boyfriend been a thing,” Negan nudged my shoulder lightly to get a response out of me. God I hated the way he looked. He looked so happy and carefree, like nothing in the world was wrong, like everything was just perfect the way it was.

Side eyeing him I responded with disgust, “That’s my brother dip shit.” This only caused him to laugh and the driver next to me to give a chuckle. “You got some spunk to you, I like it,” was the last thing he said before we arrived.

I was met with a woman in a nice black dress. She looked beautiful… Negan introduced me to her and everyone else who was kneeling before him as his new wife. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sickly brothers eyes widen as he was taken inside by a man in a white coat.

Once I was inside I was escorted by Negan himself into a room with sofas and other luxury furniture. “Hi, I’m Sherry I’m sorta new. Frankie and Tanya have been here for a minute but don’t worry, you’ll be taken care of and treated like a queen, hopefully,” she didn’t think I heard it as her back was now turned to me but I did. I heard that last word.

She showed me to a room nearby and gave me a mini tour. The room was nice it had a full bed, a kitchenette, a loveseat, a table with two chairs, and a bathroom that had a big shower. I stared in awe and she just smiled sympathetically at me.

“You should clean up, I left you some clothes and shoes change into them and give me your clothes your wearing now when you’re done,” Sherry pointed towards the small dress and heels placed on the bed. I turned to her with a raised brow.

She just shook her head, “You have to wear it if you’re gonna be his wife,” my eyes widened in realization that those girls were also his wife. I wanted to just take my brother and run away from here, but this place was a luxury and I still needed to locate my brother.

Giving her a nod she smiled before leaving the room not bothering to lock it. I didn’t care though, a shower sounded like something I needed. I spotted razors and a variety of different soaps. I smiled at the sight and remembrance of when I would spend hours in the shower shaving every crevice of my body.

So I did just that and two hours later with a slight headache, wobbly legs, and tired arms I got dressed. The dress was a bit tight around my chest and waist but flowed a bit at the bottom. A silk A-Line dress with a slight corseted top. My boobs were a problem in itself, they were practically spilling out and anytime I tried to pull it up I felt the air on my ass. Sighing I went with having my chest out rather than my butt.

It didn’t help that the bra I was given wouldn’t fit with the dress and the underwear I was given was a thong that went right up my ass. The heels were strappy and relatively low, thankfully. I turned to open the door but it was opened for me instead.

I made eye contact with Sherry as she looked down at me and smiled, “If I didn’t have a boyfriend and a husband, I’d be all over you.” I blushed lightly at her comment and she took my hand. “Come on, the girls wanted to do your make up and hair, show you the ropes and rules.”

“I know how to wear makeup and do my hair,” I deadpanned as we approached the familiar room with the sofas. “Not the way Negan likes it, he’s pretty picky with this kinda stuff,” she explains and ai only nod in understanding not that she can see me as she’s pulling me into the room.

There was a mirror set up and a chair in it’s some hair tools and a makeup bag. Frankie pulled me to sit down and Sherry sat across from me on the counter holding the mirror. I looked up at her and we smiled at each other. Frankie and Tanya got to work on my hair. Now that my hair had somewhat dried they put stuff in it and blow dried it then they began to curl it.

After that they pinned my hair in place before moving onto makeup. I felt like a doll as the girls lightly touched my face applying the product. Giving one spray they stepped back as I looked in the mirror.

What the hell? I could barely recognize myself. I wanted to take the mirror and throw it out the window. “I hope you memorized everything we did because all this stuff is yours now. It’ll be delivered to your room in a bit but Negan wants a small ceremony to show you off,” Tanya spoke folding her arms over her chest.

It all made sense now and I could only nod. They began to clean themselves up and a man came in with some food on a platter, placed it on the coffee table, then he left. “Let’s dig in,” Frankie said and the girls all walked over to the platter.

I watched as they slowly picked apart the plate and left some to the side, no doubt for me. Sherry motioned for me to sit by her and I did. “How are you guys handling this so well,” I ask, my throat a little dry from not talking a lot. Tanya got up and went to the fridge and Frankie sighed.

“He gave you an ultimatum didn’t he? Look he isn’t a bad guy, he just does bad things,” I scoffed at her words. “It’s true. Believe it or not…he saved us. He gave us an out and if I have to kiss him or have sex with him every now and then I’ll do it because I know that I’m safe and so is my baby sister,” My eyes widen at her words.

Kiss? Sex? Saved?! It sounded like a bad case of battered wife syndrome. I sighed and shook my head, “I have to have sex with him,” I ask in disbelief. “Well no. I just do it because he’s hot and has a big dick, but he won’t force you to do anything. Kissing though, he doesn’t like to be embarrassed so even a peck on the lips will suffice,” Frankie explains and Tanya snorts as she comes back with a bottle of water for me.

It was cold… I stare at the bottle while Tanya teases Frankie about her relationship with Negan but I pay no mind. My brother… where is he… I need to see him… I can’t do this without him.

I was interrupted by my thoughts before the tears came by a man, “He’s ready for you, Y/N.” Sherry stands up and offers a hand. I take it and we follow the man through hallways before spitting Negan standing at the edge of a ledge, fencing stopping him from a long way down filled with people kneeling.

He turns to me and I watch as his eyes visibly widen and his mouth nearly hangs open. Sherry squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. I give her the same back as she leaves me to join the other girls.

My attention is turned back to Negan when he clears his throat and offers his own hand. That’s when I spot it, there’s a box in his pocket. I sigh as I take his hand and we walk to the end of the ledge where Negan allows everyone to stop kneeling.

A man comes up from behind us and we’re soon facing each other. The man begins to speak words that were going through one ear and out of the other. That’s when I spot him. My eyes widen and I feel my hand twitch, my brother was staring at me with hard eyes, but he looked visibly better.

“I do.”

My attention is snatched back to Negan and the man, so this is what weddings are like? Negan grins at me as it was not my turn to say the words. “I do,” I speak softly “you may now kiss the bride,” the man states before backing up.

My eyes widen and Negan steps closer to me placing his hands on my waist, his next words shocking me and sending waves to my core, “Is this okay?”

I stutter out a yes and he pulls me close and gives me a firm kiss on my lips. My first one… I hear applause from all around us and I feel Negans lips turn into a smile against mine.

It had been about a week and adjusting to this life was…hard, but for my brother it had to be done. Speaking of, I was allowed to see him today. Nerves shook through my hands as this would be the first time I see him since that day he was nearly huffing out blood on me.

I cringe at the memory as I exit my room. The hallways was a little dingy but there was enough light to see who stood at the ends of the halls or who sweeps them. My thoughts were interrupted by a big burly man and two other guys a bit smaller than him. “Look who we have here, names Clyde,” I roll my eyes and cross my arms but then I see his eyes wander to my chest.

“She’s a sexy little thing isn’t she,” one of the guys behind Clyde speaks causing him to grin, “oh she’s not little in certain areas,” he bit his lip and walked close to me but I kept walking back. “You better not tell Negan, or I’ll have to make sure you never speak about anything to anyone ever again, got it sweet cheeks,” Clyde bit his lips and placed his hand under my chin.

The other guys behind him resorted in blatant insult, “I bet that sluts always on her knees for him. Dress like a whore, look like a wore, bet she fucks like one too,” I spit at Clyde causing his eyes to darken. “You shouldn’t have done that bitch—“

“Y/N!” My body was frozen in fear from the look he was giving me and I turn my head to see Sherry walking up to us. “Back off Clyde. Go shove your dick in a walker,” Sherry grabbed my arms and pulled me away. At first she seemed mad and angry, the grip on my arm hurt but then I looked closer at her body language.

The hand in my arm was shivering and the other hand was balled into a fist also shaking… she was scared of him too. I hear a scoff “That’s not true,” he sounded more like a child now. Sherry only rolled her eyes before dragging me to our room with the sofas.

In this lighting I could finally see the fear behind her, “That was Clyde, Andrew, and Nick… Stay away from them.” Before I could respond Frankie and Tanya greeted me. After the hugs I explained that I needed to go see my brother and excused myself.

“Be careful,” I heard from behind me, it was Sherry.

The way towards the medical wing was… interesting. I nearly got lost and had to ask a guy with a giant letter on his dirty sweatshirt. I forgot the letter and was pointed in the right direction. I wasn’t stupid I knew his eyes weren’t on the ground they were on me, more specifically my chest.

I shivered at the coldness as I entered the medical area. “You must be Y/N,” I heard a voice from beside me a turned to see a man in a white coat, he looked ginger. “What gave it away,” I asked softly causing him to smile, “I’m Doctor Carson. I’ve been taking care of your brother these past couple of weeks.”

“Has it been that long,” I accidentally speak out in front of him causing him the chuckle “I’m afraid so. He’s been waiting for you and don’t worry if he’s snappy. He just learned his sister is married,” he gave me a gentle smile. I nod and make my way to his room area.

“You look like shit,” I speak out to my brother who is currently looking out of a small window having to crane his neck to see. His head whips over to where I’m at and he scoffs “You look even worse.”

I smile softly and approach, my heels clicking on the floor. I sat on his bed and we sat in silence before I spoke up. “I had no choice… it was either he killed you or he treated you either way I’d still be here… I didn’t have a choice… I can’t live without you,” before I knew it there were small droplets placing themselves on the backs of my hands.

“I…. I know. And I understand, just—just…if he fucks with you he fucks with me okay,” I nod at his words and smirk before turning my head to finally face him. He looked so much better and his voice was now clear and not hoarse like it used to be.

“N-Not like that! Idiot,” He nearly shouts causing me to laugh. For the first time in a long time I laughed, and it was because of my brother. “I didn’t even say anything bozo,” he started laughing and then I laughed harder at his laugh.

We both sighed before I leaned forward to hug him, my arms wrapping around his waist, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m gonna talk to Negan and tell him to move you next door to me,” I mumble loud enough for him to hear me. He chuckles and rubs my back, “If he listens to you.”

I look up at him and give him a weird look but he shakes his head as if to say it’s nothing, but I give him a look that tells him bitch tell me. He sighs and leans closer so I can only hear.

“They thought I was asleep and I over heard some guys were threatening to overthrown Negan. Negan heard and he was fuckin furious I mean he didn’t say it but the way his voice sounded gave me chills. Be careful okay,” I pulled away in disbelief and shock. I give him a nod before we were interrupted by Dr. Carson.

“Visiting time is up,” he gives us a smile and I return one as does my brother. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell him and he waves me off like he jokingly doesn’t believe me. I just didn’t think I’d see him the same day…

After hearing what my brother said about some guys trying to overthrow Negan I made my way to his bedroom. I wasn’t 100% sure he was there but one of the guys mopping told me he should be there, so I made my way to his door.

I knocked for about three times before twisting the nob. My ears filled with moans and screams of pleasure as the door opened wider. My hand left the nob and my eyes went to the sofas in the room where Frankie was on top of Negan with no clothes on.

She was bouncing up and down in him with her hands in her hair moaning rather loudly it’s a wonder I didn’t hear it from outside which probably meant the room was sound proof. I made eye contact with Negan and as soon as I did he shouted, “Oh fuck!”

Frankie turned to look where Negan was looking and gasped before getting off of him and slipping her dress back in then grabbing her heals and leaving the room. She placed one if her hands on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.

I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. Sure we may not be a real couple but I always believed in marrying out of love. And that’s what I did. I married Negan, not because I love him but because I love my brother and I would do anything for him.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting and instead of looking down at Negans…well little Negan I turned to face his bed instead of straight ahead at him. He sighed and pulled his pants up, leaving his shirt off.

“I told you to wait a minute,” his voice was low and sounded slightly irritated. “I-I didn’t hear it,” I responded and heard him sigh. “Well what is it? You know you have to schedule meetings with me. I don’t like being interrupted and I certainly don’t like unplanned meetings,” okay now he really sounded irritated. He sat in the same position as before on the couch with his legs spread wide.

I clear my throat and shut the door and saw as his eyebrow raised and a smirk grew, “My girls ready isn’t she.” I nearly gagged as I stood before him. “I think I know who wants to take you down,” now hearing that made him sit up “how did you—“

Accidentally I interrupted him “Clyde, Andrew, and uhh what was his name oh yea Ni—“ Negan put his hand up as if to silence me. “Let me stop you right there sweetheart. First you ignore my words and break into my quarters anyway, then you interrupt my sex, then you keep interrupting me when I speak which I should let you know is punishable by death, and NOW your accusing some of MY closest men of treason. Tsk tsk I oughta hang you on the fence,” his voice was laced with venom as his words became harsher by the second.

I could feel the tears fill my eyes as he continued, “Maybe, since you wanna go around accusing people of such shit I should go and make an example out of your brother. Take out his eye? Make you cut off his arm?” My lip begins to quiver as he speaks and I shake my head “N-No please no—“

“Shut the fuck up! I’m tired of you whining when all I’ve done was help you. You should be paying me with your body for wasting so much shit in your brother. This was a mistake, I should’ve just killed you both when I had the chance,” Negan grumbled the last sentence before bringing his hand down his face.

“Leave, I don’t every wanna see or hear you walked into my room with or with out permission or else Lucille is gonna have a nice wet date with your brother,” as soon as he said brother a small sob escaped my lips as I sped walked out of his room.

I wasn’t looking up, I couldn’t. The tears were already coming out and if it wasn’t for all the things he told me the embarrassment from whispers in the halls caused my face to swell with heat.

I continued down the halls not picking my head up and soon the whispers were gone and I was met with the light hum of the dim lights. I sighed and accidentally let out another sob and I pressed my back to a wall and slid down placing my head in my knees.

“Well look at what we have here,” my body froze at the disgustingly familiar voice. I looked up to see Clyde with his buddies Andrew and that other guy. They stood on either side of me quite literally backing me into a corner.

I looked around for help before trying to make a break for the end of the hall but was stopped when a pear of big arms wrapped around my waist and pressed me against him. “Nah ah sweet cheeks, I told you what would happen if you told Negan. Well, hearing about what happened, he probably won’t miss you once we’re done with you,” his breath was hot in my back sending the terrifying kind of shivers down my body.

I tried to fight back I really did…. But there’s a moment when you fight for so long it doesn’t feel worth it anymore. I kicked and tried to scream for what felt like hours. My body squirmed but I was only met with harsh beatings to my body.

I tried to cry out but my mouth was filled with something else—something that made me want to dissolve into a liquid matter and evaporate into nothingness. I felt disgusting and putrid. My wrists felt like they were gonna break, my head was pounding so hard the world felt like it was shaking in a category 5 earthquake, my chest my body was being tossed and turned in ways it shouldn’t.

I could swear I heard a crack and all I could hear were the grunts and laughter filling my ears. The disgusting words thrown at me making me feel smaller than ever. I didn’t even notice they were done until again all I could hear was the familiar hum of the light above me. I felt the cold air on my body and turned to see my dress completely discarded and torn.

I heard my name being called before I blacked out and felt the wet sting of my tears fall from my eyes.

I heard it again, that familiar hum of the lights only now it was louder causing my upper body to shoot upwards. I looked around with wide eyes, it was significantly brighter the walls were stained but they were still somewhat white. I tried to hide myself and felt sheets on my lower half and looked down to see a gown… wait a minute… this is…

“You’re awake,” I hear a voice from my right softly call. I turned to see Sherry, she looked tired and like she had been crying. “The others don’t know. No one else knows… except for me and Dr. Carson. I forced him to uh do the kit while you were unconscious. I’m sorry I just didn’t want you to relive….that” it all came back to me as my lower lip quivered.

She carefully got up and wrapped me in a hug shushing me as I sobbed into her. She held me and I heard footsteps approaching and a door opening. “She’s awake?” It was Dr. Carson.

Sherry pulled away from me and went to sit back in the metal chair but I held her hand and looked at her and the a pleading look. She understood and took a seat at the end of my feet and rubbed them gently. The act intimate causing me to tear up.

“I know it’s scary. And I’m so terribly sorry for what happened. I usually used this room for surgeries but considering what happened I assumed you didn’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of men groaning in pain,” He spoke softly as he sat in the metal chair by my bed.

“I… I would ask you who did this but from what Sherry tells me I’m sure I have an idea. I’ll let Negan kno—“

“No!” I shouted rather loudly and came off pretty snappy. Sherry even flinched while Dr. Carson only sighed, “This could happen again if he isn’t notified, c’mon Sherry you know this,” he was now pleading to the both of us. I looked at Sherry with wide eyes and she only shook her head.

“It wasn’t as bad as yours and it was a different person. He’s dead now,” she explained causing me to nod softly. “I-I can’t. I don’t want to talk to him or see him or even hear about him,” I spat out to no one in particular and Carson just nodded once again.

“I’m gonna need to keep you here over night and make sure nothing happens and that this was all superficial—of course it isn’t-mentally I mean, but uh I’m sorry this is my first time dealing with something this bad,” Dr. Carson stumbled over his words but I got the memo.

“Me too…”

Dr. Carson explained that the bruising in my legs, arms, torso, back, chest, bottom, and neck should go away in a couple of days and if anything gets worse then I should come back immediately. I turned him out after and Sherry listened to what I need to look out for and how to take care of myself.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Most days I spent in my room staring out the window. The bruises on my lower legs and neck had disappeared but the ones on my arms, chest, and back were still pretty prominent so I had to go bad to wearing that stupid black dress only this time Sherry picked out a different one. It covered more skin and my chest, it was also a bit longer than the last.

She told me she had burned the other one and that she covered for me to Negan and anyone who asked where I was. “I was in my period and there was too much blood and the cramps were awful,” I kept repeating this to myself just about every day.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to my brother and I know he saw me leave the medical area. I missed him but I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t face anyone, not even myself. I punched the mirror in a rage and sat on my bed as my hand bled.

Sherry came by that night. I think she’s like superwoman, she always came when I need her… usually. She helped clean my hand then we both cleaned my bathroom together.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of it but now because my dress had sleeves I felt like Ben more compelled as the blade glided through my arm. In that instance I felt my worries wash through me. The water from the shower definitely helped clean it.

When I got out I got some bandages from my first aid kit and wrapped them lightly so they wouldn’t cause a bulge in my dress. I made my way to our room and found it empty.

Nervously my eyes darted around the room and landed on the door more than a few times. Annoyed at my paranoia I got up to get something to eat from the fridge. The opening of the fridge was loud enough to cover the opening of the door to the room.

I found what made my belly grumble and I reached for the pickle jar. Pulling it out and sighing constantly I scream in shock at Negan by the fridge with his arms over his chest. He too jump in shock his eyes wide “Jesus Christ!”

I ended up dropping the jar by my feet, the juice splashed on my feet. I looked down at my feet and the now smashed jar of pickles not wanting to look at Negan. “I’m sorry,” I gave a bow and went to exit the room quickly until a hand wrapped around my arm, that arm….

I shouted in pain rather loudly causing him to let go of me in fear he held me too hard. It wasn’t until I saw him look at his hand that was slightly damp with blood, my blood. Damn… I should’ve put more bandages over it.

“What the hell,” his voice was now confused as he stared at the blood on his hand then looked at my arm. His eyes narrowed as he grabbed my wrist causing me to hiss in pain and carefully pealed back to soaked black fabric.

The first thing he saw was the soaked bandage then his eyes wandered to the bruise leaking out from the folded over sleeve. He took my other wrist gently and pulled me in the direction of his room.

Entering his room I was filled with a familiar feeling of dread and shame. His voice ringing in my ears from that day. I didn’t want to look up, I couldn’t, afraid he’d call me names and ridicule me further. He pulled me down to sit on the sofa in front of him.

I could feel his eyes scan over me, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Was it… pity? Disgust? Disappointment? Maybe even hatred?

“You did that,” he nodded towards my arms. I stared at the soft carpet beneath my feet, “Why?” His voice caught me off guard. He sounded sincere but I wasn’t a fool“It was my fault wasn’t it? You’re not happy.” I didn’t say anything and we sat there in silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were unhappy? You know you can come to me for anything,” His voice was soft but my head shot up as soon as the sentence left his mouth.

Rage. Anger. Guilt. Shame. I stood up and stared straight at him and I saw his face, it was firm but his eyes told me he was concerned and confused. I wanted to laugh at him, “You wanna know why I’m so goddamn unhappy?” I nearly shouted at him.

I leaned down to insta my shoes and reached for the hem of my dress pulling it over my body then my head. I threw the dress in the floor and watched as his eyes widened. I couldn’t help it, I was my fathers daughter and when looking in the face of confrontation I get enraged.

“This. This was you. All you! I tried—“ my voice caught in my throat as I tried not to choke up. “I tried to come for you to help and you DIDN’T CARE. Instead you ridicule me and embarrass me! Clyde. Andrew. And Nate,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out as I shook my head closing my eyes. “Some husband you are.”

After I said that he shot up out of his seat. I expect him to scream in my face but he only walked out the door, slamming it shut so hard the room shook. I flinched at the loud noise and vibrations before mentally gathering that he did in fact not care.

What was I thinking? I’m such a fucking idiot. After I got dressed I walked to the medical area. I needed to see my brother, I needed to cry to him. I needed… to feel like I mattered.

Once I entered the medical area I noticed Dr. Carson hunched over his desk. I slammed my hands on his desk causing him to shoot up. “Where is he,” I asked rather calmly in attempts to sound composed, though I felt the complete opposite.

I know my brother was discharged a day ago from here, but he needed check ups. Carson’s face contorted into one from confusion to despair. “Y/N… I th—I think you should sit down…” He stood up and pointed to the chair beside me. “Tell me where he is or I’ll burn this entire unit down,” I snapped at him.

I didn’t want to believe it. “He’s gone, Y/N,” my head snapped to the voice in the doorway. Negan. “Shut up! You have no right to be here!” I shouted at the man as I walked over to him practically shoving my finger in his face. “I own this place, Y/N… He was… murde—“

“I said shut the fuck up!” I shouted in Negans face. He only looked at me with sympathy and sincerity “Stop it! Stop that! Stop looking at me like that! It makes me sick,” I spat at him.

He only sigh and gave a nod to Carson who left the us alone in his office. “Looking at you like what,” Negan egged on curiosity getting the best of him. “Like you give a damn about me! You don’t care about me! You just want women to fuck! You are as heartless as a stupid fucking rock! You do things and say things but you don’t mean them,” I shouted at him my chest rising and falling from anger.

“I love you,” he spoke softly looking at me with an unfamiliar look. That pissed me off. “No you don’t! Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” I began hitting his chest and he stood there taking it. I only stopped when his hands grabbed my wrist pulling me into him.

His body heat and warm scent filled my nostrils, that and the smell of the medical wing caused an overwhelming amount of emotions to flood my senses. I began to sob into his chest and I felt his arms wrap around me pulling me into him as we shifted to the ground.

“He’s not—he can’t be!” I let out a painful cry and he responded with brushing my hair down with his hand and rubbing my back, just like how my brother did. I couldn’t take it and I gave in, wrapping my arms around his waist as I wailed into his chest.

After about an hour and a half I was now down to hiccups and sniffles, still in the same position as before. I felt Negans lips press into my head, “He was out in a run with Clyde and Nick… they just got back and… came back with his head. I asked why they had just the head and they said to put it on a stick because he tried to kill them,” my grip tightened around Negan as the tears came flooding back.

“Why?” My voice was weak and hoarse from my previous sobs and wails. I felt him sigh against my cheek, “I asked them the sam—“

“Why did you tell me you loved me,” it seems my question caught him off guard. His hands grasped my shoulders and pulled me back gently so he could look me in the eyes.

“I told you I love you because I do. I love the way you smile, the way your hair looks when it’s not curled, the way your face is when there’s no makeup on it, the way you dress when your not wearing your dress,” my eyes widened in shock at his confession. I watched his eyes soften, “I also hate you. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you make me want to kick all of the other girls out and just have you. I hate the way you look at me when I do or say something that upsets you. I also hate when you don’t look at me, those eyes… they haunt me. And if I could look at one woman the entire rest of my life, it would be you.”

My vision blurs at his words as I look down and feel tears slip from the lids in my eyes. His hand gently pulls my face to look at him “I would do anything to make you feel good. I would burn this whole place down if it meant seeing you smile or laugh.” He leans forward and feel his lips press my skin gently on my cheeks.

I felt hands on me. I felt their hands on me. I felt their breath and their teeth. I heard their laughs and their groans. I tried to push them off and screamed for help. Their hands gripping my wrists so tight it felt like they were going to break off.

“Y/N!!”

I gasp and look around me. It was slightly dark in the room the only source of light came from a bed side lamp—wait a minute. I don’t have a bedside lamp. “Y/N, baby, are you okay,” I heard Negans voice and my body came down from that tense feeling.

“I-I could feel them… their touch and their laughs…” before I knew it I began crying and Negan pulled me into his arms the two of us falling side ways on the bed. It felt good. The bed was soft and sunk under me. The comforter was a big fuzzy black one.

“It’s okay. No ones gonna hurt you again okay? Get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow,” I simply nodded at his words as he pulled the covers over us and held me close.

By the time I woke up the sun was peaking through the curtains and I was fully aware of where I was. Negan’s room. I had been sleeping here for two nights already. I didn’t want to go back to my room or anywhere else.

I left a dress at the end of the bed along with a note and some heels. I sighed and decided to shower before getting dressed. I froze when I saw myself in the mirror. I couldn’t pull myself from looking away. Disgusting. Shame. Hatred. And anger filled me up as I looked at myself.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes before turning the shower on. It was so much nicer in this bathroom, it made me feel like I was low class and he was middle upper class.

After showering and getting changed I read the note:

Meet me at the spot ;)

-Hubby

I rolled my eyes and carefully made my way to “the spot” I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt someone fall into step with me. I stopped and spotted her brunette hair curled. She turned and smiled softly at me.

“I’m sorry… about your brother,” she reached for my hand and I let her. I didn’t want to cry not now but this was all too overwhelming. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone,” I smiled sadly at her and we soon began walking again.

“Dwight met your brother. He really liked him. Said he was sassy and not afraid to show it,” I looked down and frowned at her words. I knew Dwight from Sherry, they were supposed to get married before Negan found them. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s what got him killed,” I said softly but loud enough for her to hear me.

She sighed and came to a stop. We were now just a hall away from “the spot” Negan wanted to meet me at, “Don’t blame anyone but the dickheads that killed him okay? Your brother was one of the good ones, which is pretty hard to come by nowadays.”

I sighed and shook my head in agreement. She shot me a comforting smile and squeezed my hand much like when she showed me off to get married to Negan. I gave her a smile back and let go, turning down the hallway to spot Negan just standing there swinging Lucille back and forth.

I assumed he heard the click clack of my heels because he looked over at me and grinned from ear to ear. Usually I felt disgusted when he looked at me like that but I only smiled at him and he held his arms out to me.

I leaned into his hug as he kissed my head and whispered in my ear, “let’s get this show in the road.” We made our way down to the common area where there was a giant brick made furnace. There were also four men lined up, each had a bag over their head.

I watched from the side as Negan instructed the bags be taken off their heads. My eyes widened as I saw Clyde, Andrew, Nick, and another guy. My hands started to feel clammy as I tightened my grip on the hem of my dress.

I then watched with a mixture of different emotions as Negan beat the shit out of all three guys except for Clyde. He had been blubbering like a baby and whining in fear. I could only stare as Negan forced him to take off his pants in front of all the saviors.

He did something rather unexpected but also expected, he took an extremely hot iron an held it to Clyde’s penis. I watched Negan in adoration as Clyde began convulsing. It looked like he passed out but a few moments later he turned into a rotter.

Negan took a machete from one of his men and chopped Clyde’s head off. He then instructed his men to clean up the mess and put his head on a stick outside the sanctuary. He then looked at me and motioned for me to come over, “Let this be a lesson! You fuck with my girl, Y/N, I will see to it you never get the ability to fuck ever again!” Then there was a roar of cheers and I made eye contact with the girls who were also shouting

Negan brought his hand under my chin pulling me to look at him, “Is this okay?” He asked making my heart flutter and my mind to race before pulling him in for a kiss in front of everyone.

“Negan!” I shouted as I felt his beard tickling my neck. “Mmm” he groaned softly placing more kisses downwards. “You have a meeting in 10 minutes,” I gasped as his hands found their way under my dress. We were seating on the sofa in his room.

It had been a week since he publicly executed those guys. I didn’t want to speak of them, it always managed to ruin my day. “I don’t care. Don’t wanna be interrupted from time with my girl,” he mumbled into the skin on my chest causing me to chuckle.

“Oh yea that’s right you don’t like to be interrupted—oh!” I felt his fingers press against my center causing me to let out a moan and grasp at his hair. “Don’t do that baby, I won’t be able to control myself,” he looked up at me through his lashes and I placed my hand on his cheek.

I smiled and pulled him in for a kiss before we were interrupted from harsh knocking “Come on man, some of us have meetings!” Shouting came from behind the door.

“I’m not done with you sweetheart,” Negan grinned and gave me one last passionate kiss before pulling away and fixing himself up. “Hey,” I called out to Negan who turned around after picking up Lucille, “I love you.”

I was met with a groan and he tossed Lucille aside on the loveseat and turned to open the door, “reschedule the meeting!” I heard him shout before he shut the door and locked.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” he began taking his shoes off and pulling his shirt over his head. “Why don’t you come and show me,” I teased pulling my dress off. That seemed to do it for him and soon he pounced on the bed causing a string of giggles to come out.

It was hard getting used to it, to everything. I didn’t even think to think about someone like Negan in such a light, but he wouldn’t always tell me he cared about me instead he never failed to show me how he felt.

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

Awkwardly Awarding

pairing: Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

warning: 18+, porn with plot, smut, dead relative, unprotected sex, oral(f), praise kink?, fingering, hickeys, teasing, pet names (nothing crazy!), squirting, overstimulation, Gojo being Gojo?, lmk if there’s anymore u see!

w/c: 5.8k

a/n: HELPPP😭 No one asked but heres an idea that came to me while I was playing the Sims TT First time writing smut lmk what u thinkkk ;) Also Tumblr being weird so hopefully this posts!

The death of my father wasn’t one I was not expecting. I mean sure, he was a nice dad, but he was never really there when I needed him. Instead of sitting around and complaining about him like I usually did I kept quiet this entire week. I was alone now and in an entirely new area with entirely new people. Arriving at the apartments was a bit overwhelming, to say the least.

The intense amount of traffic, high buildings, and busy streets were definitely sensory overload, but it didn’t matter because the view was absolutely phenomenal. Before Dad bit the bullet he did leave me a huge sum of money which allowed me to purchase my second ever apartment.

My last apartments did not compare to these newer ones, plus they were centered more in the city which meant I was now paying twice my old rent for this new apartment, but that’s what a trust fund is for, right? I didn’t have a lot to move, but it was still enough to fill up a small rented truck from the movers.

The hard part was now done! Was what I thought once all the boxes were moved into the apartment however, the organizing was actually going to cause me to jump off of this building through my beautiful window.

I went through the first few boxes with ease that was until I ran into my childhood things— yes I keep them in a separate box. Quietly I pulled stuffed animal after stuffed animal. Those didn’t hurt as much as the stuffed animal made in memory of my first late dog.

I couldn’t stop the tears from coming as I gripped the dog… Dick… oh how I missed that dog. His name wasn’t Dick that was the stuffed animals name, after the late Moby— who was my actual dog.

After a night of crying I had drag myself out of my makeshift bed made out of pillows and blankets because I was dumb enough not to buy an air mattress. This was the same job I had been working at previously.

Once I got home it was like feeling of dread washed over me. So, instead of cleaning and unpacking I found my self ordering Pizza. I’m not going to lie, I did pick up a few things but after I put up my landscape themed calendar I realized I forgot one big important thing.

A desk…

I rushed to grab my phone and open the Amazon app and after doing so typing up “desk” in the search engine. And after a minute of scrolling and biting my thumb nail I found the perfect one!

It had white drawers down the right side and a beautiful oak that would go well with the frame of the bed I had yet to put together. I sighed at the price, I guess left overs will have to do for dinner. It wasn’t that I was poor buuuut I spend a lot on the deposit for this place and I still had bills to pay and set up.

A couple of minutes later, still in my work clothes, I heard the doorbell ring. My tummy ached for the steamy and hot pepperoni pizza… there was a $5 deal…

I got up and walked to the front door. Out of habit, I looked through the peephole only to feel my mouth water at the sight…and smell. I opened the door wide open with a wide smile. After u paid for the pizza then sat down to eat said pizza, I packed it up and put it in the fridge this place came with.

“It came with all of the utilities,” my best friend I met at work asked. I sat the phone down on my makeshift bed before stripping to get into something more comfortable for bed, “Yes! And everything works—well I haven’t had to wash anything yet but we’ll see.”

I could hear my friend agree through the phone with a hum, “I suppose that’s why it’s so expensive.” I chuckled at her reasoning “Oh yeah, I’m definitely getting my pennies worth.” We talked a little while longer and she offered to come help since she knew someone in the area or in the same apartment but I told her it was fine.

Heading into work with a sore back was not ideal especially if you are standing all day which is not what I was doing exactly. The drive home was lengthier which meant I was more tired than usual. I almost had to pull over to take a quick nap, but I was on the highway so it wouldn’t even have worked out for me.

Once I made it home I was eager to shed off the clothing of running around delivering papers and sitting at a desk doing hand exercises so my hands wouldn’t cramp for how many emails I have to write.

Now left in my lazy but simple lacey lingerie I walked to the kitchen and pulled out a pizza and heated it up. My ears perked up at a notification going off from my phone on the counter. I grabbed it and was shown a picture of the box that contained my desk in it sitting beside my door.

I glanced at the time at the top left corner of my phone… 3:46 am… no one would be up at this time, right? I looked down at my body and waited for a couple of minutes to ensure the delivery guy was gone. I took a peak out the window and watched as his giant van of Amazon shit rode away.

I walked to the front door and opened it, the cool air of the hallway making the buds of my nipples perk up. I shivered and looked down at the box, it was quite big, but no match for me!

I tried to pull it from the side failing miserably so I opted to push it into my doorframe. I checked around the hall quickly, not spotting anyone I got behind the box and bent down to push the box forward. The grunts coming from my mouth covered the sound of a door opening right behind me.

I pushed my legs back and finally pushed the box fully in through the door of my apartment. I stood up straight and sighed placing a hand on my head because being lightheaded was enough for me. Still, I clearly wasn’t aware of the wide eyes of my neighbor right behind me who had been staring at my ass.

I turned to close the door and found myself face to face with my neighbor who stood in his own doorframe. My eyes widened and my ears started burning from embarrassment as I looked down to see what I was wearing.

I slammed the door shut and slumped against the door, my hands covering my face. If I wasn’t so caught up in the way I was dressed or feeling I would’ve noticed how handsome and hot my neighbor was.

Letting out a squeal of embarrassment I got up and just left the box in the entrance and went to grab my pizza that I had left in my microwave that was also provided.

Wanting to ignore whatever happened, I decided to turn in for the night and put my dish in the sink and padded my way to my bedroom with the bed still not made. Groaning out of frustration I took my place in the mess of the blankets and stuffed animals with a pillow or two.

Gojo

There was no way that happened, right? I’ve seen naked women all the time, but only as they present themselves. It’s been a minute since I’d seen someone naked not trying to impress anyone—or was she?

Taking a second to stop and bend over I looked at the watch on my hand,

4:20 am

Damn. I looked up and that’s when I felt it. The tightness in my joggers. This was going to be a long and uncomfortable run when all I could think about were her long and pretty legs. She looked like she smelt like lavender vanilla.

I groaned and began running once more around the city, the buildings never ending and the chatter and laughter never ceased. One girl— drunk no doubt—made eye contact with me. She was blonde, thin, and her tits we’re practically hanging out and when she turned and looked back at me my eyes shifted to her ass.

It was big, unnaturally so which made my mind travel back to her… when she bent over, the way her laced panties rode up the valley of her ass. The soft outline of her pussy, wonder what it would taste like?

Shit.

I had to come to a stop and fix my problem before it looked like I visibly pissed myself. “Hey,” I turn at the nasally voice behind me. I saw the way she looked at me up and down and letting my pride take over I smirked and glanced over her body for a second time.

She wasn’t with her friends this time which meant she sought me out in purpose. “Hey there,” she giggled at the dip in my voice, right on track. She offered for me to go back to her place just a block away, walking up to me and placing her hands on my biceps.

The walk there was mostly her talking about her friends and how much she hated them because she “knew” they were jealous of her. I didn’t really care and let her yap on, the hardness of my dick lessening as she spoke more and more.

As soon as we made it in her lips were on my neck and her hands were sliding under my shirt. Taking it off I forced her on her knees which made her grin up at me as she pulled the sweats I was wearing down.

Placing my hand on her head my mind went back to her… the way her h/c spread across her shoulders and the way her butt jiggled when she pushed the box through that door. The more I thought about her the closer I felt to cuming.

Y/n

“Ughh how long is this going to take,” I nearly pulled the hair out of my head in frustration. I was in the bathroom of my office and was currently trying to avoid the meeting. “You know no matter how hard you tug you won’t pull the boredom out of your head,” I turned to see my best friend smirking.

“Shoko, I feel like I’m going to die. I’m so under stimulated,” I practically whine and she just laughed and walked next to me. “Let’s go back, besides we get off in an hour and a half so this meeting shouldn’t last long,” her words naught some comfort to me as I sighed.

I pulled her in for a hug to which she returned, “What would I do without you,” I mumbled into her suit jacket backing her chuckle. “Let’s go out for drinks tonight, we both have the day off tomorrow in a long time,” she held me back from my shoulders.

Now that sounded amazing but I only sighed and felt myself visibly deflate, “I can’t, I still have a couple of things to unpack—“

“So come out when you’re done—“ Shoko interrupted making me frown even more, “I have to build a desk, Shoko.” Her face winced at that. The last time we both tried to build one it fell apart after we placed my computer in it, breaking to computer and the desk.

“How does tomorrow sound,” she spoke through her teeth cringing at the thought of building. I laugh at her suggestion and nodded. We both went back to the meeting and sat there for nearly two. More. Hours.

I know I needed the over time, but this was ridiculous. After another 30 minutes I looked at the clock to find it was 8:05pm. Then we were dismissed, the room filling with grumbles and mumbles of distain.

Once again, the ride home was long but out of sheer anger and annoyance I found myself eager to get home and build that damn desk so I can have fun tomorrow. Making in the building and to the elevator I sensed someone was standing beside me.

I glanced and nearly gasped at the sight of my handsome neighbor. The elevator dinged and we both made our way inside. The silence was deafening and the awkwardness was heavy. I shut my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see his face but was pulled out of my thoughts by his deep and soothing voice.

“I’m Satoru Gojo, haven’t had the pleasure of formally meeting you,” I opened an eye to look down and see he held his hand out. Then I looked up at his face and instinctively gripped his hand when the elevator shook.

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you too…formally,” I wanted to shrink into a hole and die. His chuckle made my belly flutter and my chest tighten. The elevator dinged causing the both of us to let go of each others hand and get off.

We both walked side my side with each other, still in awkward silence. Stopping at our doors we stood there for a good minute not saying anything. I heard his mouth open as he was about to speak before I beat him to it, “Come inside?”

He nearly fell to his knees when he heard it.

“S-sorry,” his voice waived causing me to shake my head in embarrassment, “It’s okay if not, I understand it’s been a long day. I just wanted to welcome you into my new home as a friendly neighbor.” Was I stupid? Inviting a stranger— a man! Into my home.

I could practice at my dead dad screaming at the top of his lungs about me being stupid. “Sure,” his response caught me off guard. He was stuttering and mumbling just a second ago, now he’s running a hand through his hair and smirking?

I roll my eyes and we both walk into my home. I notice his eyes go to the box containing my desk on the floor as I try hard to ignore it. “It’s… not much and I’m still waiting to get a couple more pieces of furniture, but with my budget it’s gonna have to wait,” I gesture to the mostly blank living room and dinning area.

Really, the only places completely done were the bathrooms and the kitchen. I needed to set up my office and my bedroom. “It’s nice… cozy” he says looking around making me fake a laugh “haha,” this in turn causes him to laugh, a sound I never want to forget.

I walk to the fridge and open it, “I apologize, I don’t have much as far as food so I’ve just been eating takeout. Need to go grocery shopping by the end of this week,” I hear him hum in acknowledgment, “No it’s fine, I ate beforehand.”

A moment of awkward silence washes over us before he breaks it, “your desk.” What an odd thing to say. I look up at him in confusion. He’s standing on one side of the island while I stand on the other. I watch as he glances to the box in the entrance, “you still haven’t built you desk?”

I sigh in embarrassment, “N-no I haven’t really had the time.” I raise my hand to nervously scratch the back of my neck. The next words that come out of his mouth make my eyes light up, “I can build it for you. If you want?”

“Yes!” I answered a bit too quickly making his eyebrow raise. “I’m sorry I just—I’m no good at building and I asked my friend but she’s also not good at building,” he nods in understatement before he walks over to the box. “Where do you want it,” he asks picking up the box with ease making my jaw drop.

He walks over with the box in his hands, the veins in his hands and arms popping out making me gulp. “Sweetheart I’m gonna need you to use your words,” I look up at the words usually used for endearment. A faint blush rises to me cheeks as I point to an area in the living room.

“O-over there is—is uh fine,” I tell him and I hear the box run against his hair which meant he nodded in acknowledgement. Once he set it down he pulled out a pocket knife making me jump and he stabbed box open.

Who the hell carries a knife with them in the cit— that was a stupid thing to question. My eyes fall to his arms as he tolls his sleeves up, the oversized dress shirt accentuating the veins on his arms. Instinctively, my thighs clutch together as I watch from the kitchen island.

He grunts as he pulls out the large wooden plank causing me to bite my lip and he sets it up against the wall. Now all the pieces were out along the empty floor. He claps his hand together, “thank you for the build,” he speaks to no one.

Is he serious? Did he just turn a common eating phrase into a building phrase. Odd guy, I like him. I want him… “what do you think,” I was caught off guard once more by his panting and out of breath sentence.

Gulping I look to see that he’s done with the drawers, “I-it looks really good Gojo.” His smile grows wider, “call me Satoru!” I chuckle at his expression. Demon. How can someone so sexy speak so cutely.

Shifting my weight to my other leg I freeze at the sensation. I was wet… and it felt uncomfortable except for the fact that it was caused by Gojo. I took another glance and noticed his stance. He had one knee in the ground and the other balanced him out, foot placed firmly on the ground.

He didn’t look hard but boy, can eyes be deceiving. “Alright,” he spoke in a song making me giggle at him. He was sure adorable when he wanted to be. Was he done already? I can’t believe I was so in my head I didn’t even her him hammering or drilling the screws.

“I just need to place this on top and secure it then I’m all done,” he grinned at me and put his hand on the wood plank still being held up by the wall. Now that I had the chance, I glanced at his body full over. His hair was slightly disheveled and there were light traces of sweat coming down his forehead and neck.

Feeling embarrassed I let out gasp and walk to the cabinet with the cups and pull one out before placing it under the ice dispenser and changing it to dispense filtered water. Unaware of Gojo watching me and my form with an unfamiliar gaze.

Then I make my way over to him and notice the desk was now finished. “I couldn’t thank you enough, but here’s some water,” I tell him with a worried voice and shove the glass into his hands. His fingers grazed my as he walked closer to me.

I felt my breath hitch as I look up at the man who was now towering over me, “There might be a way—but ah~ I don’t wanna sound so sleezy,” I watch as he backs up slightly and his hand lightly shakes the back of his neck.

“N-no, not at all! Anything,” the tone in my voice unintentionally drops at the last word. His eyes narrow and then I feel his hands being placed on my hips. The water had been discarded and placed in the desk. At least it didn’t crumble under the pressure of water.

He brings one hand up and places it under my chin pulling me closer to his face as he leans down. “Let me taste you,” my thighs rub together at the raspyness of his voice. Noticing his eyes were now on my lips I let my gaze fall to his.

No way a man this beautiful with such beautiful lips had one of the most filthiest—in a good way— sentence come out of his mouth. I couldn’t take it, it felt like all night I was being teased so I gave in.

I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into me, his lips puckered and pressed against mine. The kiss was heavy and needy. Just then, I felt the eagerness and desperation in the actions of his tongue. I let my mouth open slightly as his tongue slid inside.

His hands gripped my waist and turned me so my ass was pressed against the desk he had just built. He stops the kissing momentarily to speak, “let’s see how good this desk really is,” his voice sounded nearly like a purr.

I let out a soft hum in agreement as his hands slid down to the underside of my thighs, giving them a squeeze to signal to jump back onto the desk. As soon as I was on it he waisted no time placing his lustful lips all over my neck causing small moans to escape my mouth.

His hand made its way down to where I desperately needed him the most. Feeling me twitch beneath him, I could feel the smirk against my skin. That didn’t stop him from sucking my neck like a sex crazed teenager.

“Can I take this off of you baby,” he mumbled against the skin of my neck, the vibrations causing another moan to slip from my mouth. “Yes, please Gojo,” he didn’t like this. He ripped down the work pants I had on and the panties I was wearing as well.

“How many times will I have to keep saying it, say my name,” he almost sounded like a little kid having to give up their rights to their favorite toy. His hands were back on me as he pulled me closer to the edge of the desk rather harshly.

His hand also made its way back to my now unclothed center causing me to gasp. His eyes widened as he pulled back entirely and looked down then back up at me. The look on his face was one I’ll never forget.

He looked so genuinely happy and the way his eyes were wide with excitement made my heart and my pussy swell. He looked at me with pure adoration, something I rarely have done to me especially by men.

“Shit, is this all for me,” he beamed in excitement and when I nodded he fell to his knees at the sight in front of him. “It’s so pretty…” I felt the familiar heat rise in my cheeks, was I really embarrassed by his words?

My body tensed as he took two of his fingers and slid them down my labia, his way of teasing. I glanced down at him and he looked like he’d never seen pussy before making me slightly nervous. Then I felt it, the warm almost hot, thick, and wet muscle making contact with me.

He took his tongue and slid it from the base of my vagina all the way to the hood of my clit. I didn’t miss the way his tongue disappeared in between my folds and pussy lips. The sight making me more wet.

He looked up at me and I could see the clear but faintly white discoloration on his tongue before swallowing it in front of me, “oh you taste heavenly, just like I thought.” His hands were now hooked around my thighs as his tongue once again made contact with my pussy.

This time he licked around where I needed him the most causing me to squirm, “Satoru~,” he hummed at my whining, “Use your words sweetheart.” I couldn’t do this anymore, “Satoru eat me out already,” I begged causing him to chuckle lightly.

He wasted no time licking a stripe up all the way to my clit before wrapping his puffy lips around it. My hand flew straight to his beautiful head full of white hair. This only encouraged him to suck on my clit before releasing and placing a kiss on it before moving by down to lap at my entrance.

“S-Satoru,” I moaned out forcing my head back in pleasure. The hum of contempt send vibrations through my pussy causing my thighs to tighten around his head. He pushed forward and used his hands to spread my legs apart.

I looked down and the sight nearly made me cum on my own, Satoru's blue eyes were staring right up at me and instead of his wide ones, I was met with half lidded and dazed blue eyes. The tip of his nose was glistening under the living room light and his hair was moving as his head was shaking side to side with his tongue landing on my clit each time.

I forced my other hand onto his head in attempt to push him into me further. He showed no interest in backing away as he continued to suck and lap at my clit and folds. The ludicrous sounds echoed through the mostly empty apartment and the tightening in my belly pulled me back down to Satoru, “T-Toru..hng…I’m gonna cum—please, p-please let me cum.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” The vibrations from his sweet voice sent me over the edge as the grip on his hair only tightened and I attempted to push his head away so I wouldn’t be overstimulated, he however had other plans.

He retreated his lips from my throbbing clit with a pop and looked up at me as he inserted a finger through my hole. I gasped and looked down at him and he grinned at the sight of the flushed look on my face. “Toru,” I whined which only made him shush me, “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna make you feel real good again, okay?”

I could only nod as I felt another finger join inside me. He smirked and began pushing them in and out at a steady pace making me gasp, “D-don’t stop, Toru,” he hummed in response and I felt the familiar warm lips wrap around my clit once more as the pace of his fingers sped up and began curling upwards inside of me.

I tried to mask the lewd moans coming out of my lips by placing my hands over my mouth. Another pop was heard and his lips were off of my and now frowning, “Don’t do that. Let the neighbors know how good I make you feel, scream if you have to,” he muttered the last part with a smirk before diving back in to lap at my pussy.

His words encouraged me to place the hand that was once over my mouth and into his head once again. Soon, I felt the feeling coming back again only this time, it nearly burned and caused my body to twitch against him. “T-Toru wait—there’s something—ah!”

I threw my head back as he pulled away slightly with an open mouth while his fingers continued to fuck me. The moans I let out sounded almost like screams of pleasure. Coming down from that high I looked down feeling my body and my legs trembling at Satoru.

His face was now covered in my juices and his hair was slightly damp. I blushed in embarrassment as his eyes looked up at me, sparkling. “I think I just came in my pants,” he admitted causing my eyes to widen as I spread my legs to look down.

Sure enough there was a stain in them, but it didn’t look like he was soft or getting softer. “If you’re alright with it, I don’t have a condom and I’d like to fuck the shit out of you,” my mouth gapped at his forwardness. After a couple of second of him smiling at me I spoke up, “Y-yes, I’m not on birth control and I’m clean so…”

His smile only grew, “I’m clean too!” Before I knew it, he was helping me take off my shirt and pulling his pants down along with his underwear. His eyes immediately flew to my chest and he lean forward to kiss the skin on my neck, littered with bruises now showing.

My eyes widened at his length. I had been with men, sure, but him? His dick was hard which caused it to stand up in the air with a slight curve upwards. It was lengthy just like he was—if I had to guess, 8 inches? He also had girth to him, it wasn’t huge but it was definitely big enough to hurt.

I felt his dick rub against my thigh as his lips trailed down to my chest. He reached an arm around to unclip the bra and pull it away. I could feel him twitch in excitement again as he watched my breasts fall free, the buds hardening at the coolness of the room.

I then felt his familiar wet and hard tongue drag around my nipple causing me to let out a soft moan and his eyes shot up to me. He smirked and used his other hand to pinch and roll the bud while his lips wrapped around the other causing my back to arch into him and his touch.

“T-Toru,” a hand flew to his head and ran from the nape of his neck to the top of his head and I felt him twitch against me again. “Hmm~” he moaned against me. “Please… please fuck me,” his eyes stayed on me and he lightly nibbled on my bud, then I felt him twitch against me again with his eyes closed.

Releasing my nipple with a pop he brought his hands to hook around my legs, spreading them apart as he bent his slightly to angle himself. The height of the desk was perfect for this exact reason.

I felt his warm tip trace up and down my slit causing me to whine, “Don’t tease Toru~ please…” he only grinned and lean forward to catch my lips in a kiss.

Then I felt it, he slowly entered inside of my causing my body to shift in slight discomfort. He groaned and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer. Once he was in fully, bottoming me out, did he release the kiss.

“I knew you’d be mine the second I laid eyes on your pretty body,” the words would sound disgusting and rude if they weren’t coming from the most beautiful man known to man. That and his intentions. I bit my lip and earned him to move with my legs wrapped around him pushing him against me even closer.

He chuckled softly and lean forward to place one hand at the edge of the desk while his other held me up. I glanced down at the veins on his arms before pulling his face in for a kiss. He pulled out till his tip was almost out until he pushed back in causing me to moan against his lips.

After getting comfortable and him doing that a few times I whined, “Toru, faster,” he shook his head with a lopsided grin, “You’re such a baby.” I had no time to react to his words as he began to pick up the pace of his hips, snapping forward causing light screeches to come from the desk.

I moaned his name as I wrapped my arms around his neck the feeling of his cock throbbing in my pussy sending shivers through my body. He grunted and moaned in my face wrapping the hand that was holding me now placing it around the bottom of my chin. “Such a pretty pussy, you like that huh? I do~”

The sound of skin slapping echoed through the apartment as well as Satoru’s teases and praises. The grip under my chin releases and now he’s upright, pushing my legs back to fold and places them on his shoulders, not easing up on his thrusts.

The angle causes him to hit that spot causing the familiar feeling to bubble in my chest, “You gonna cum on my cock pretty girl?” He grinned and placed a hand on my pussy before rubbing side to side. I felt my back arch and my moans turned into squeals, “that’s right pretty girl, cum on my cock. You can do it, fuck…” he threw his head back increasing his pace in both his hips and fingers.

After a few seconds of thrashing around I feel myself tightening around him and releasing. His hips began stuttering but his hand didn’t stop and soon I felt the same other feeling flow through my body and the sounds of spurting fills the air, joining the symphony of lewd noises.

“Fuck!” I hear a shout from Satoru and he pulls out of my overstimulated pussy. I look down and watch as ropes of thick, hit, white cum shoots onto my pussy, belly, and the bottom of my chest. I take a moment to watch his body, he’s shuttering and shaking in pleasure. His eyes are glued onto my core as he releases.

After a minute of both of us panting and giggling, Satoru steals a kiss before hooking his arms around my legs pulling me into bridal style, walking me into my bedroom. “Where’s your bed,” he asks looking down at me. Shyly, I point to the big box on the other side of the room that had a 2d model of what the bed should look like.

He chuckled and shook his head before walking to the bathroom and placing me in the tub. The aftercare was amazing and dare I say hot. He had taken a bath with me and offered to have me sleepover at his place to which I was too tired to disagree.

So after we clean up and I give him a pair of oversized sweats that were a little too big on me, we made our way across the hall to his apartment. It looked exactly like mine in terms of the layout but the decoration was minimalist with hints of maximalist, in the bedroom was no different. I guess that’s how he knew my layout…

We both got into his king sized( obviously) bed and I felt his arms wrap around me to pull me close to him. “Satoru,” I call him name softly and he replies with a tired hum. “You thought about fucking me,” I question, bringing up a previous sentence he said. This made him burst out in a tired laughter causing my to pull back slightly and look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s what you took away from all that?”

“I forgot about it…”

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

The Walking Dead

Series

You Got my Heart

Blurbs

…coming soon…

Headcannons

…coming soon…

Oneshots

…coming soon…

Series

…coming soon…

Blurbs

…coming soon…

Headcannons

…coming soon…

Oneshots

To Be Loved

[everythingwrongwithizumi]

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!Oc

warning: Death, graphic depictions of death, maybe not so accurate surgery, dead children, graphic depictions of child deaths, cussing?, insinuations of relationship abuse and child abuse, dead walking,

w/c: 2k

a/n: This was… best with me in this one and let me know what y’all think. This was just like an introduction sorta the storyline will pick up next chapter don’t worry! >< I hope you all enjoy and this is my first time writing something like this so please let me know what y’all think!

CHAPTER ONE. That Day

How did this happen…

What the hell went wrong…

I don’t understand…

This is wrong… everything’s wrong…

One Day Before Outbreak

7:48 pm

“-Yes I understand, but what you need to know is that my schedule is busy and my hands are tied…. Will you just drop her off before I start my shift, I have back to back surgeries already and it’s my first week…. I know, I know just- hold on let me call you back”

My eyes shifting towards a man standing in the middle of the road. I felt myself reach for the seatbelt to unclip it as I slowly came to a stop. what the hell? What is he doing in the middle of the road surrounded by trees? And why were his clothes so bloody? The familiar click of my seatbelt went off and the belt sprang back to where it came from.

Before I could unlock my door and get out I made eye contact with him. It all happened so fast it felt like it was slow motion. The look in his eyes… they looked so… empty and sad. The look was one familiar to any surgeon, he had given up…

I watched as a semi truck ran straight into the man from the other lane. I could barely register the honking before it was too late. The truck had come to a stop so I took that as my cue to leave for work.

With the sun nearly escaping the grasps of the horizon, the world darkened as I pulled into the hospital I was just getting to know. As I walked into put my things away I got a text from Adam, my boyfriend. He let me know that my daughter was in the daycare in the hospital.

After I put my things away and searched the OR board I was indeed right about my back to back surgeries. Excited I went to scrub in to prepare for my first surgery of the day, an Arthroscopy.

The surgery had been a success only taking about an hour. After I was finished closing the incision I thanked the nurses and everyone else then I left the OR and scrubbed out. “Hell of a surgery,” one of the male residents complimented me with a smirk in his face.

I watched as he purposely raised his arm over his head to stretch his biceps. “Ryan. It was a Arthriscopy,” I deadpanned and crossed my arms. He shrugged, “And it was done beautifully by a beautiful surgeon.” I rolled my eyes and decided to go check on my daughter before my next surgeries which would have me not taking any breaks.

As soon as I walked in I noticed the kids or rather the lack of them. It was just my daughter and four other kids the same age. The hospital allowed children between the ages of 3-6 to be placed under their care so naturally Mae got along with the others seeing as she was just a 5 year old.

I ran up to her and grabbed her pulling her into a giant hug, her squeals of laughter filled the air, a sound I loved. “Mommy did you save a life yet,” she asked making me grin and lightly pinched her cheek, “you bet your peach I did!”

After tickling my daughter some more I bit farewell promising to come back after my fifth surgery.

Day of outbreak

6:34 am

I was sweating.

It was my 7th surgery this shift and I still hadn’t had time to check in on Mae. Focusing back on my surgery it had been tough and go for a while now. We had to put him in bypass because his heart couldn’t take the stress of not one but two tears in his artery.

Successfully and tiredly we finished removing the tissue and bone spurs causing the pain in his back however… another artery blew… and then another…

“Time of death 8:02 am”

I pulled my mask down and stretched my arms taking a moment to look around the room. After about five minutes and three the gloves in the bin and started to scrub out.

While I was in the middle of scrubbing my finger tips, red nail polish began chipping before I looked up and the sight before me caused my eyes to widen and to drop the soap in the sink creating a soft thud.

Two days earlier

I was smiling ear to ear as I watched Mae carefully apply a fresh coat of red paint to my nails. The look on her face was one of pure concentration as her brows furrowed and her lip was pulled in by her top teeth.

“Daddy’s gonna be home in a minute, you might wanna hurry it up,” I teased the little girl and she showed no interest in listening or paying attention to me.

Once she was in my pinky nail the door swung open causing her to mess up slightly. I looked up to see Adam in his usual dead eyes and unamused expression. Recently he’s been distant and distracted. There were nights I’d have to beg him to hold me while we slept.

Again, as usual he made his way straight to the bedroom of our small two bed apartment. His shoes laid messily by the front door next to a neat pair of mine and Mae’s. Mae began to hold tears in her eyes as she looked up at me. I stared at her not knowing what she expected me to do and I only smiled, “What a beautiful job you did. How does Friday sound for a touch up?”

I watched as her lower lip quivered and I carefully pulled her in for a hug. I could hear her sniffles and soft cries, “I’m sorry I messed up, it was an accident please don’t be mad at me mommy.” Instead of responding I started rocking back and forth softly before shushing her quietly.

“You mind telling me what that was,” I questioned Adam in the kitchen after I put Mae up for a nap in her room. “What are you going on about this time,” he replied not looking at me. My eyes narrow as I get closer to him “I have never once raised my voice at my daughter or belittled her for accidents,” I kept my voice low and spat the last word out at him.

He slammed the kitchen knife on the counter before pointing it at me “Well maybe that’s the issue. You need to do your job as a mother and discipline her mistakes. I told you years ago I didn’t want this, and you just had to keep her. If it wasn’t for you and your mistakes I wouldn’t have to be getting on her for her own mistakes.”

I was speechless. Yea sure, Mae wasn’t planned, but calling her a mistake was low. “What the hell is wrong with you? You can���t even say her name you pig-“ I wash cut off by an oddly familiar sting to my face. Gripping my cheek I glared at him as he walked out of the kitchen disregarding the food he was about to prepare and walked out.

I glanced at the front door where it was just my shoes and Mae’s shoes neatly placed by the door.

Day of outbreak

8:07 am

I watched as the patient, Mr. Henry bit off my anesthesiologist face off causing a panic. After two nurses attempted to pull him off he bit one nurses neck and scratched the others face. Soon the anesthesiologist was woke back up and bit another nurses arm and soon the OR was chaos.

I watched as two nurses ran out of the OR, into the scrub room before the anesthesiologist grabbed one of their caps pulling her back and taking a chunk out of her neck right in front of me. The other nurse had ran out of the scrub room. As the blood splattered on my face I took that as a sign to run out of the scrub room.

The hallways was no different. Chaos spread and soon my worries flew to Mae on the second floor of while I was in the fifth. I ran to the elevators and made it in through the screams and bloodshed. Ryan and another resident who was gripping his arm ran into the elevator with me just before it closed. Then pressed the first floor as he wanted out as soon as possible.

“What the hell is happening,” Ryan nearly shouted causing me to flinch. It was clear he was looking to me for answers. In all my years of medical school and residency I had never been taught what to do when humans began to eat other humans like they had rabies.

“I-I…” I didn’t get to finish before Ryan’s screams surrounded the small box we were in. The other resident had grabbed his shoulders, pulled him back and began eating his cheek. I screamed in terror but immediately closed my mouth as his blood sprayed everywhere.

The elevators dinged and the doors opened to doctors and nurses running around urgently. They seemed aware of what was going on and there was someone being devoured at the nurses station. Gasping, I ran to the daycare center only to find two little kids eating the intestines of one of the workers—the same one that greeted me earlier.

Tears filled my eyes as they didn’t take notice of me. I looked around and found my baby’s perfect little shoe and the blood. I walked over to the area and walked to the wash area.

It felt like the walls were closing in, the pastel blue and ocean animals mocking me as my baby girl stood facing me. Half of her face was missing, a giant chunk on her neck and right leg was gone now replaced with seeping blood, her tiny nails once painted red were stained red along with her hands. Her hair was a mess as were her clothes.

I wanted to gag, to run, to hide, to grab her and pull her close and never let go even if it killed me. As soon as she came running to me, her little hands reaching out to me I knew I had to leave, leave and never come back.

Tests blurred my vision as I ran out of the center. I could hear the little groans and growls behind me until I heard a scream. I quickly turned and saw the little boys and my little girl attacking a patient.

I chocked out a sob and ran to the nearest exit. The sun was beating down in me and all I heard were screams and gunshots. I needed to get to the parking garage my car was at. Thankfully it was on the first floor and as soon as I made it to the entrance a car showed no signs of stoping as it crashed into the bar that allows cars in and out.

I watched as it crashed into a nearby restaurant which was also crawling with people eating other people. I stood there, my car only ten feet in the garage. How did this happen…. What went wrong?