#i watch lot of videos lately...

[tempest-teacups]

THE CURTAINS FLEW, AND THEN HE APPEARED

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

[silliestgirlintheworld]

When I’m in a silly little guy competition and my opponents are young Dan and Phil

[transekiro]

what amazes me most about morgott is his fucking acrobatics

i can just imagine little morgott and little mohg in the sewers and morgott is just "brother watch this :D" and does the most badass gymnastic combo move out of nowhere

[cupiidzbow]

i forget there interests I don’t really talk about to other people or keep to a minimum bc I know they’re not the most conventional but I have a huge special interest in crayola art supplies/and collecting and I have almost every recent release of specialty crayon and I get so excited when they release new ones . I got so excited recently bc they just released swirl crayons ( I think they’re a revival from a 90s version) but I’m literally so fucking excited you don’t get it. you don’t even know. Sorry I wanted to ramble. Hark! to my completely unrelated tumblr blog I go!☝🏽

[hayaku14]

gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au

[waterfallofspace]

Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-

Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???

[high-voltage-rat]

Actually I'm still thinking about it. Another interesting way in which RvB is anti-war is the way that the Director fills the role of a villain and antagonist (especially in the Recollections trilogy, where he's a faceless villain we never see but is responsible for everything that happens).

In his memos to the Chairman, the Director emphasizes his sense of duty and obligation to the military- he becomes irate for the first time when he feels that it's being implied that he was derelict in his duty... or that the work he did out of that duty is being criticized for being against the military's interests. He also talks about Allison's death in a way I find... interesting.

"You see; I never had the chance to serve in battle. Nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question: If the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? [...] But, given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself... Had I only the chance."

The idea of sacrifice is central to the way he talks about his wife's loss, to the way he talks about the war in general. He talks of sacrifice with a sense of veneration- that it's something he aspires to do, that he longs for. There's a few ways we can interpret "I would have made those sacrifices myself"...

-That in Allison's place, he thinks he would have laid down his life too.

-That if given the chance, he would have given his life to save hers.

But most interestingly...

-That he would have sacrificed Allison's life for the continued survival of humanity, if that was what duty called for.

...And personally, I think all 3 are true.

In most war media, the Director's perspective on sacrifice is very common. Sacrifice is glorious and heroic- to die in battle is an honour- and it's the only way to ensure the group you serve survives. This is a tool of propaganda- nobody wants to go to war just for the sake of it, you have to give them a reason that the risk of dying or being permanently disabled isn't just acceptable, but desirable. Beyond that, most people don't want to do things they think are immoral- you have to convince them it's important, a necessary lesser evil. You teach them to sacrifice their morals, too.

The way they train soldiers to follow orders and to kill, is to convince them that they, and the people around them, and the people they care about, will all die if they don't. It's drilled into your head from day one. It's the way they ensure their commanding officers won't shy away from sending their men off to die. The message is constant- sacrifice is your duty, and duty ensures your people's survival.

In the Director's eyes, the damage Project Freelancer caused was his sacrifice. He never got the opportunity to sacrifice himself during the war- so he sacrificed others, as military brass do. The Freelancers- including his daughter. The countless sim troopers. Any people he considered "collateral damage" on missions. And when the opportunity to do so presented itself, he sacrificed a copy of himself- Alpha- and he sacrificed a copy of Allison- Tex.

The very thing that derailed his life- the loss of his wife- he made it happen again. He put her copy in dangerous situations, let her exist in the position of constant repeated failure, created the circumstances that would eventually lead to her death. He put their daughter in deadly situations that nearly killed her repeatedly, provided her with impossible expectations leading to self-destructive behaviours in the name of duty, implanted her with two AI knowing they could cause her permanent harm. He was confident he "would have made those sacrifices himself" because he did.

The Director is the embodiment of the military war machine. As an antagonist, he is a warning against buying into the glorification of sacrifice. He's a condemnation of the idea that one should be willing to do anything to win a war- that duty to the military is the thing that ensures survival... All the messages that are pushed to ensure recruitment and obedience of soldiers.

He's a reminder that swallowing the propaganda leads to you doing terrible things... and in the end, you're a broken man left mourning the losses that you suffered even as you repeated them, convinced that it was all necessary.

[hyber-region]

Trying to use colour more in my sketches so redrew my starter trio :)

[kooldewd123]

heartbreaking: character you love gets a redesign representing their growth throughout the story but you like the old design better

[caluupin]

been catching up on TGAA/DGS !! :D

[beholding-moth]

so that second half of the hbomberguy video huh...

[k-kaez]

its 2am and ive just suddenly decided that in the fanon world, hermits have abandonment issues with one another

(read tags if you aren't a coward 😧⬇️)

[pandora15]

i just think that it's really horribly painful that ilum, a place that is so sacred to the jedi and so important to their culture, eventually is converted to a superweapon that probably killed millions upon millions of people in the form of starkiller base and it just so horribly goes against everything that the jedi stood for that i just.

honestly this is probably one of the most painful things about star wars to me.

[ahollowgrave]

Romance Chart - Odette Hollows

Saw a few folks doing it here, so I decided to do one too! Thanks to _Mythir over on Twitter for the blank! Some rambles below:

Race/Species: “Midlander” is in quotes because she wasn’t full midlander but also she’s technically Ashkin. 

Star Sign: Her birthday, which she doesn’t know, falls under Nald’Thal ! And when translated to the RL calendar she’s a libra! Which I think is neat given her family history and her current role. 

Challenge Rating: 2/4 hearts, considered intermediate. I struggled with this one! The thing is, Odette very much wants to be “In Love” but also man that’s so scary!! Slow burn needed. 

Love Languages: “Touch” is rough because of the aversion to it -- something that fades as she gets more confident and comfortable with people. 

Romantic Identity:

Monogamous/Polyamourous: given how she was raised Odette is very open to polyamory!

Submissive/Dominant: she’s just happy to be there, man. 

Ideal Partner:

Feral/Elegant: yes.

Evil/Good: Listen…  

Submissive/Dominat: in all honesty, I don’t know if odette cares too much about roles. She’s there to LEARN and have FUN. 

Poor/Rich: RICH in their LOVE OF LIFE 

Possessive/Carefree: just a little bit. just sometimes. 

Gifts to Woo:

Things made while thinking of her, for her specifically??? Ugh

Things FOUND while thinking of her!? AH!?

No: Things that add more responsibility to her life (except plants and weapons)

Yes: Trinkets. 

Song: Shura - religion (u can lay your hands on me)

Oh Girl, don’t stop, please.

You can lay your hands on me.

[alackofghosts]

how does one even seek atonement? [...] how will i even know when i find it?