#pearl and garnet at the end of su

[kooldewd123]

heartbreaking: character you love gets a redesign representing their growth throughout the story but you like the old design better

[screwpinecaprice]

@glowweek Day 5 FAMILY | FRIENDS

Peridot and specially Lapis do not trust the racoons.

Specifically chose this angle so I don't draw feet. _(:,3」∠)_

Mi own connverse kids Ebony and Rohini are there! And technically Sakura and Zachary. (Please until now I don't know what else to name them. 😭)

And sorry the older Maheswarans aren't there. I don't know where to put them and I already had character overload. 😞

Hibiscus print on Bismuth's shirt is from ManMadeOfGold!

Speaking of shirt, another thing I avoided was thinking of their outfit designs. 😅 It's somewhere a little over a decade of timeskip since SU:Future and I'm sure at least one or two would've reformed during the time. So I'm gonna say they wanted to keep the vibe of a casual outdoors picnic-type event so they wore the casual themes.

[cruucigerglobus]

the woke mob (my friends) are making me rewatch Shawn Galaxy. here’s my almost redesigned rock moms.

- garnet looks like a superhero cause she is one, also more “spiritual” gauntlets for her

- amethyst is barely changed because she is perfect. other than that she has snakebites and an eyebrow piercing somehow, as a projection of light. she’s also wearing orisises

- pearl gets a more dramatic poet look cause she is one.

none of their chosen aesthetics match at all cause in my head i exaggerate how unfamiliar they are with normal human culture. they think they’re super on trend

[insomnious-illustrations]

Finally finished Steven Universe Future!

[venluming]

final day of the lesbian week… but lesbians shall live forever….

[k-nayee]

A Fusion of Feelings STEVEN UNIVERSE

wc: 5.4k a/n: ngl I forgot what inspired me but just know I was on the bed eating Trolli crawlers !! Post-Steven Universe: The Movie (2019) !!

Traveler M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

The cool salt-laced air of Beach City clung to the evening as Steven got out the car, the golden glow of the setting sun stretching shadows across the familiar sands.

At twenty, he carried himself differently now, with a quiet confidence that spoke of growth.

The tailored pink jacket he wore paired with jeans that fit him snugly was a silent testament to how he'd changed over the four years he'd been away.

His aura was more grounded, less childish. Honestly it kinda unsettled Connie to see him this way—more a stranger and less the boy she once knew.

But beyond the new posture and the maturity in his eyes, the essence of Steven Universe—kind, earnest, ever-hopeful—remained.

Connie heart thudded as she watched him scan the area. When his eyes landed on her it was like a moment suspended in time.

The boyish face she remembered was now sculpted with sharper edges, framed by unruly curls that had grown out, and his posture spoke of someone who had wrestled with his own demons and won.

A smile broke across his face as she rushed forward, her dark hair a wild halo catching the breeze before pulling him into a hug.

It was warm, familiar...and yet there was a split second of hesitation. Something was different.

His hands were firm but no longer lingering, his eyes searched hers with affection but no not with the same intenseful adoration.

It stung more than she cared to admit.

They fell into old rhythms easily from jokes about childhood adventures to updates on the latest antics of the Crystal Gems.

Yet as they spoke, Connie caught herself watching for cracks in his expression, hoping to find a hint of longing for the past

 Instead, she found something gentler—a quiet satisfaction that wasn't solely about her.

Steven began to tell stories from his travels. And amid these conversations, an invisible thread pulled at Connie's focus, a name woven seamlessly into Steven's stories—you.

He had met you during as visit to a local university in the South.

But that wasn't what bothered the human member of Crystal Gems. It was the way he spoke with a kind of unconscious reverence of you.

Pictures of shared laughter over late-night conversations were painted, of your fascination with reading or the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled.

"She's just...her," Steven's voice would soften, his eyes drifting as he spoke. "You'd love talking to her about books Connie! You both have that same spark when you get excited."

Connie's chest tightened at each mention and she struggled to maintain her indifference.

"She was so passionate about that one book. You know the one with the wizard school?" Steven says before his eyes light up with another thought. "Oh and [favorite beverage]! You should have seen her face when she talks about it—it's like she's describing the most magical thing in the world."

Connie forced a light laugh but the edges were brittle. "Sounds she's a good friend." The words felt sour on her tongue, each one an effort to keep in check.

"She is. I mean, I know everything a good friend should," Steven's eyes go unfocused as if tracing the memory of your smile.

Connie's stomach twisted. He didn't even realize. But she did.

Every time he spoke, she pieced together an image of you, so vivid that it felt like you were already there.

Every word, every gleam in Steven's eyes carved deeper into her. There it was again—that bitter thread of envy weaving through her.

She scolded herself internally. Steven deserved happiness, after all.

He had spent so long putting others before himself. Seeing him light up because of you should have been enough.

Shouldn't it?

Connie knew she shouldn't be this way. She had ended things years ago; they were too young and she hadn't been ready.

 Still, why did this happiness have to come at the cost of her own peace? Seeing him like this—so openly fond of someone else—brought a feeling that was hard to shake.

She had let him go.

She should be happy for him.

Should.

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

It was early one morning when Steven burst into Connie's home.

The door swung open with such force that it thudded against the wall, and Connie mid-phone call with her mother, jumped up from the sofa.

"Steven?" Her voice was sharp with concern as he stood in the doorway, face flushed and eyes wide.

His curls were unruly, hands raking through them as he paced in frantic circles.

"She's here," his voice was pitched high with barely contained panic hadn't heard in years.

Connie's breath caught in her throat. A part of her wondered if her complexion had paled, if her surprise was as visible as she felt it must be.

She didn't need him to say more. The implication was clear: You were in Beach City. 

"Hey Mom, I'm going to call you back. Something's come up."

The moment she hung up Steven continued his pacing. There was a wildness to his eyes—a desperate energy that sent a pang of something undefinable through Connie.

"I can't see her...I-I just can't!" He turns to Connie with desperation painted across every line of his face. "I'm not ready."

The Maheswaran teen stepped toward him. "Wait wh—"

"I know I know, I'm a mess!" He motioned to his jacket, tugging at the sleeves. "I'm too nervous. What if I say something stupid? What if she realizes that I'm just weird?!"

The half-Gem's anxiety radiated off of him in waves as and he starts to pace once more.

He was sweating as his skin and hair began to take on a pink hue showcasing his fraying nerves.

 Connie instinctively grabs his shoulders to steady him. "Steven! Calm down! You need to breathe. You're overthinking it."

In her attempt to soothe him a light suddenly gleam in his eyes. His hands wraps around hers suddenly, startling her.

"I think we should fuse into Stevonnie." The words tumbled out so fast she almost missed them.

"...what?"

 Steven's grin brightens, more sure now. "We can meet her as Stevonnie. With your help I won't mess everything up."

Connie yanks her hands away as if stung. Stevonnie. That version of them, so complete, so complicated.

"Steven...y-you can't be serious!"

"C'mon! Just think about it. You're a girl, so you'd know what to say and how to gauge things better. I can't face her alone. Not yet." He spoke like it made perfect sense, like it was the most logical solution in the world.

Connie's breath caught. A myriad of emotions surged—betrayal, the flicker of old pain, and the gnawing realization of Steven's obliviousness to her own turmoil.

Why should she help him meet someone who might replace her in his heart? To help him woo someone who wasn't her? Why would she want to?

She wanted to yell, to refuse him outright, to protect herself from this emotional minefield.

But then she saw the way he looked at her—not with love but with trust.

The kind of trust that spoke of years of shared battles, laughter, and the silent understanding that only they had.

It twisted something in her heart leaving her feeling vulnerable. She had ended things for a reason. Steven deserved to find happiness.

Even if it wasn't with her.

Connie couldn't deny him, not when he needed her like this. With a tightened jaw, she release a defeated sigh.

"Fine," her voice was barely a whisper. "But we do this my way."

Relief softened Steven's tense posture, and before she could steel herself, he pulled her into a big hug. "Thank you Connie. I knew you'd understand!"

He steps back and quickly pulls out his phone. Clicking on the screen a few times, he shifted on his feet as he shakily puts the phone to his ear.

"Hey! It's Steven. About our meet-up later today—yeah, I'm okay just feeling a bit under the weather." He rasps his voice a little and force a light cough to sell the act.

Your muffled reply was on the other end. Connie didn't even have to hear your exact words to know what you'd said.

The way Steven's shoulders relaxed as a soft smile that crept across his lips—it was enough. It was everything.

And it made her stomach churn with a mix of emotions she could barely name.

Steven closed his eyes as if savoring the sound of your voice, his cheeks flushing a gentle pink—each reaction was a dagger twisting deeper.

She bit back a grimace. A whisper of curiosity tugged at her, unwilling to be ignored.

'What was it about you that could make Steven act like that?'

"No, no, you don't need to take care of me. I wouldn't want you to get sick." The son of Greg Universe and ̶P̶̶i̶̶n̶̶k̶ ̶D̶̶i̶̶a̶̶m̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶ Rose Quartz insisted, his voice softening in a way that made Connie's stomach twist.

The way he cared about you was so painfully evident and she had to steel herself as she stood by watching.

"Actually...my cousin Stevonnie is visiting," Steven adds with a hint of awkwardness. "They'd love to meet you. Maybe you both could hang out at the beach and finally get introduced to the Crystal Gems while at it?"

There was a pause, then muffled laughter filtered through the receiver causing his entire demeanor to change.

Eyes brightened he turns to Connie and sends her a thumbs up. She reluctantly mirrors it, her lips set in a forced smile.

As Steven continued the conversation Connie was left with her thoughts.

She wasn't ready for this.

Not the idea of meeting you, not the way Steven lit up because of you, and definitely not the confusing flutter in her chest as she thought about seeing you up close.

She began to brace herself for what was to come. She couldn't predict how this day would unfold, but she knew one thing—she already didn't like you.

Not at all.

But somewhere, buried under the jealousy and apprehension, was the tiniest ember of curiosity.

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.* 

Now merged, the semi-Gem stands before the mirror in the living room. Stevonnie's fingers tremble as they fluffed out their thick wavy hair.

The anxious energy beneath their skin was palpable—an odd fusion of Steven's heart-racing excitement and Connie's tight-lipped simmering unease—as they waited.

For you.

Their hands paused, fingers lingering in their curls before dropping with an eye-roll and scoff, "Jeez...is it that serious?"

A flare of irritation filled their chest as they stepped back, exhaling through their nose to calm the internal storm.

Stevonnie's brows knit together in question of the sudden emotion.

It wasn't just Steven's giddy anticipation or Connie's jealousy. It was something more tangled—anxiety mixed with an unfamiliar warmth.

 But there's no time to ponder further when the front door bursts open, the room filling with unrestrained laughter.

The boisterous sound bounces around the space as Pearl steps into view, her eyebrow twitching ever so slightly.

"Honestly Amethyst," Pearl chided, though there was a rare softness in her tone. Gaze finding the fusion, she offers a polite nod before gliding over to the nearby cushioned couch, hands folded neatly in her lap.

Garnet's silent presence filled the doorway next, her tall frame blocking the evening light momentarily as she stepped in.

The Gem's stoic expression softens just a touch when her gaze met Stevonnie's. Her lips subtly upturned as a way of unspoken reassurance.

Finally, Amethyst bounced in, her grin barely contained. She was cackling as she looked behind her yelling back, "Ya know, you're pretty funny for a meaty human!"

A familiar voice responds from beyond the door, "Why thank you my lil grape friend!"

Stevonnie's pulse quickened. It was you.

Their whole body seemed to pause, hands fidgeting nervously before forcing them to relax.

Steven's excitement surged, making their heart race, while Connie's wariness clawed at her mind.

But beneath it all there was a flicker of something different—a curiosity that wasn't entirely unwelcome.

'Okay' A short huff blew through their nose, eyes narrowing for just a moment in attempt to keep calm. 'Let's just get this over wi—'

"Hi! My name is _____. You must be Stevonnie right? Steven's cousin?"

The words hit Stevonnie like a surprise gust of wind.

Their eyes widen at the sight of you standing there. The warm glow of the sunlight that bathed you casted a golden halo around your figure.

In your hands you held a Tupperware bowl, the lid fogged from the warmth within.

Gaze was as warm as the Sun itself, smile soft and sweet—you were exactly Steven had described.

̶T̶̶h̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶t̶̶i̶̶c̶̶i̶̶p̶̶a̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶u̶̶s̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶r̶̶e̶̶a̶̶c̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶.

The sharp sting of jealousy began to shift, replaced by a begrudging acknowledgment of your kind disposition.

Something in Stevonnie melted while the other side tensed. The tight pull of jealousy mingling with awestruck joy tangled into an emotion that left them breathless.

Connie’s unspoken thoughts whispered, echoing Steven’s sentiment, but with a dawning realization.

Your presence was more than she expected. It wasn’t the competition she’d imagined; it was...something softer.

“Y-yeah! That uh, that’s me,” they managed, voice steady enough to pass for normal.

Amethyst gave Stevonnie an exaggerated wink from behind your back, and Stevonnie shot her an unamused look.

“It’s great to officially meet you,” you said. “Though I'm a little peeved Steven never told me about you. We can make up for it as long as I'm here! Ah! Feels like I already know you.”

The casual sincerity in your voice made Stevonnie's heart squeeze with something they refused to name.

“Likewise,” Stevonnie said, but their voice wavered, betraying the fusion’s internal war.

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.*

Time seemed to blur as the evening wore on. Stories were exchanged, laughter filled air, the sky outside slowly darkening with every passing hour.

Eventually it was time to go. You and Stevonnie walking along the shoreline toward Garnet's waiting silhouette in the distance.

The day's golden light fades, the sky deepening into hues of purple and blue as stars begin to reveal themselves.

The air was warm, the scent of salt carried on the breeze, and the rhythmic sound of the ocean created a comforting backdrop.

"I really had a good time today," you say, smile as genuine as ever. It sent a subtle ripple through Stevonnie, stirring emotions that were a blend of Steven’s joy and Connie’s reluctant acceptance.

Stevonnie's gaze lingers on you whenever you aren't looking, emotions wavering like a flame.

Steven's side of them basked in the warmth of your presence while Connie's shifted, unsettled by the pull she felt toward you.

The lingering envy that once felt sharp now dulled into a softer, almost wistful feeling.

Though even though the envy had dulled, replaced by an uninvited fascination, a faint sense jealousy remained.

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶n̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶p̶̶t̶̶i̶̶v̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶a̶̶b̶̶o̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶h̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶e̶̶a̶̶s̶̶i̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶e̶̶c̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶ ̶p̶̶e̶̶o̶̶p̶̶l̶̶e̶, ̶h̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶e̶̶f̶̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶̶t̶̶l̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶l̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶q̶̶u̶̶i̶̶e̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶p̶̶a̶̶c̶̶e̶̶s̶.

Frustrated by the rush of warmth in their chest, they push back with a question

"So...what do you think of Steven?" Stevonnie asked, attempting to sound casual. Their eyes briefly dart towards you to gauge your reaction.

"He talks about you a lot—says you're a great friend. And I can see that, especially after you brought him that homemade veggie soup."

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶a̶̶c̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶a̶̶m̶̶i̶̶l̶̶i̶̶a̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶w̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶j̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶y̶. ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶n̶̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶m̶̶e̶. ̶I̶̶n̶̶s̶̶t̶̶e̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶̶u̶̶r̶̶p̶̶r̶̶i̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶f̶̶l̶̶i̶̶c̶̶k̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶c̶̶u̶̶r̶̶i̶̶o̶̶s̶̶i̶̶t̶̶y̶.

You look up at them. "Steven? He's great!" your voice rose as you began listing off his qualities. "Honestly, he's one of the most thoughtful people I know! Always listens even when it's something small. And he's so brave, even when scared. I've never met anyone who cares as much as he does."

Stevonnie felt a bittersweet pang. Your admiration mirrored everything Connie had once felt a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶s̶̶t̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶e̶̶p̶ ̶d̶̶o̶̶w̶̶n̶ for Steven.

Hearing you say it, seeing how deeply you understood him, brought a strange comfort.

But it was more than that. The candor in your voice spoke of someone who saw the best in others.

̶S̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶o̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶s̶̶e̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶o̶̶o̶.

The realization struck Stevonnie quietly, an unwelcome but persistent warmth settling in their chest.

"Really?" Stevonnie replied in a controlled voice, though their heart felt so heavy that it might fall out their ribcage.

The question was innocent enough but the ache behind it was palpable; a tug-of-war between Steven's quiet yearning and Connie's deep-seated denial.

For it was no longer just about rivalry—it was the possibility that someone could understand her in the way you understood Steven.

A gentle laugh escapes you and you nod frantically. "Of course! He...he just got this way of making everyone feel important ya know? Like they matter. And his jokes—oh my gosh, he cheers me up even when I'm not having the best day. Not to mention when he gets excited about something he loves; you should see the way his eyes light up like the stars."

Stevonnie's heart skip a beat the admiration in your voice. Something within them stirs. Their stomach knots with butterflies, warmth creeping up to their cheeks.

  'No!' A flicker of defiance twists their lips. 'This won't do.'

"Well speaking of boys in general. You got a boyfriend?" Forcing a mischievous grin they give you a playful nudge. "A pretty girl like you must have one waiting at home right?"

The second the words slipped out Stevonnie's stride faltered, feet coming to a halt as an unsettling pang bloomed in them, unexpected and sharp.

It was a strange sensation—something close to jealousy and possessiveness—an uncomfortable mix that made their chest feel tight.

The thought of you loving someone else stings in a way that makes their brow crease.

Before they could make sense of it your laugh broke the silence. "A boyfriend? Gosh no!"

The sound pulled Stevonnie out of their daze. They looked up just in time to notice you had slowed and stopped a few steps ahead, eyes fixed on the darkening horizon.

For the first time you've met your gaze avoided to meet theirs, instead lingering on the ocean with an unreadable expression softening your features.

"I've never really thought about dating or romance," you admit, voice tinged with a touch of melancholy. "I spent most of my time focused on getting good grades, get into college and make my family proud—doing everything I was supposed to do. And now that I've done that...I don't really know how to connect with people in that way." A small laugh escaped, quiet and self-conscious. "I'm just now getting better at making friends socially. Romance? That's a far-off dream for me."

Stevonnie's heart ached in an odd camaraderie. The weight of expectations, the search for belonging—it's all too familiar. They resonated with your vulnerability, recognizing theirself in your words.

̶I̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶h̶̶i̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶a̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶g̶̶u̶̶a̶̶r̶̶d̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶t̶ ̶p̶̶i̶̶e̶̶c̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶y̶ ̶p̶̶i̶̶e̶̶c̶̶e̶.

Before they could respond you speak again, gentler this time, like a secret being shared under moonlight.

"But Steven...?" you began, your voice taking on a wistful tone. They watch as the forlorn shadow in your eyes melt away, replaced by something softer, more reverent.

Your eyes became dazed as your lips curled into a tender smile. "He's different. He makes everything feel easy...one of the best I've ever met—Gem or human. It's really not hard for people to fall for someone like him."

You let out a gentle sigh, the stars above seeming to mirror the flicker of emotion in your eyes as you looked up at the twinkling dotted sky.

"I sure know I have."

Stevonnie.exe has stopped working.

A mixture of relief and longing that they hadn’t expected flushed through their veins.

You...like like Steven? ̶A̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶t̶, ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶l̶̶i̶̶k̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶f̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶s̶̶a̶̶w̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶o̶̶o̶.

You blink rapidly as if to shake off the rush of emotion that had swept over you and let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry that sounded super cheesy," you rub the back of your neck. "I'm sure you don't want to hear that, with him being your cousin and all."

You turn back to Stevonnie, only to find them standing perfectly still, staring at you with wide eyes and a faint flush coloring their cheeks.

"Stevonnie?" you called their name, snapping them out of it. They jolted slightly as if waking from a dream and sport a wobbly smile.

 "Cool," is all they managed to choke out, awkwardly lifting both hands in an stiff thumbs-up gesture. "That's...really cool."

The response was clumsy but it pulled a genuine laugh from you.

Despite the confusion, you played along, giving your own thumbs-up before gesturing to where Garnet stood a respectful distance away. "Well it's getting late. We shouldn't keep her waiting."

Stevonnie could only nod as they swallowed hard.

̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶n̶̶c̶̶e̶ ̶r̶̶e̶̶l̶̶u̶̶c̶̶t̶̶a̶̶n̶̶t̶ ̶e̶̶m̶̶o̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶n̶̶f̶̶u̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶, ̶u̶̶n̶̶w̶̶e̶̶l̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶n̶, ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶g̶̶n̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶.

Their steps were almost mechanical as they follow you down the beach, the soft crunch of sand beneath mirroring the dissonance in their mind and heart.

You filled the silence with a stream of light-hearted talk, a cheerful ramble that danced across topics as if trying to chase away any lingering awkwardness.

Stevonnie's responses were sparse—a series of hums, muttered agreements, and distracted nods.

Each step toward Garnet and the waiting car felt like a countdown, every word you spoke being another beat in the symphony of confusion humming in their mind.

It wasn't until Garnet was a few feet away did Stevonnie manage to gather themselves enough to say a proper goodbye. "Um...bye ____...I...I had fun."

You flash a smile as bright as the moon hanging in the dark sky. "I had a great time too. We should definitely do this again. Oh! And hopefully Connie can join us next time. I've been meaning to finally meet her, especially since I just finished a new novel series. You think she'd like if I brought them for her? It's a historical romance with strong female leads—the Bridgerton series, if you've heard of it. And if not, I have other books she might enjoy. I'm hoping we could maybe start a book club or have some discussions!"

The mention of the teen's interests sent a rush of warmth through Stevonnie. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about how deeply you cared.

Their posture stiffened ever so slightly as your words washed over them, smile faltering for just a heartbeat before forcing it to stay in place—a little too bright, a touch too tight.

For a moment the spark of Steven's enthusiasm fought with Connie's nervousness, creating a subtle conflict that flickered between excitement and something harder to define.

Though the mention of historical romance and strong female leads did spark an immediate interest on Connie's side briefly.

But as quickly as it came, the heaviness of more complex emotions settled in, making Stevonnie's heart thump with a sensation that felt uncomfortably like longing.

Fingers twitching, they tuck a loose strand of hair behind their ear—a move pure Connie.

"Y-yeah..." Their voice slipped on the first word before steading it. "Yeah...I think Connie would like that very much. She loves stories with strong characters."

You give a playful eyeroll as teasing grin spread across your face. "Well duh that's why I'm recommending it to her!" The fondness in your tone was unmistakable, and it seeped into Stevonnie's skin. "Steven says she's never without a book, usually something epic or full of history. Oh and her journaling! Always writing in it—filling it with thoughts and stories."

Leaning in a bit your eyes sparkled as you continued with enthusiasm. "Did you know she's into sword fighting? She trains with Pearl. And gosh her curiosity! He told me how fearless she is when it comes to going on new adventures. Always ready to explore even when things get wild."

Each word was like a tiny invisible thread that pulled at the fusion. Connie's pride in her achievements hummed under the surface, swirling with Steven's growing admiration for how deeply you appreciated someone he cared about.

You paused, a soft laugh escaping that caught Stevonnie off guard with its ease. "She's so smart too. Steven once mentioned how she'll share the most random but fascinating historical facts like it's second nature. And music—I don't know if she still plays, but he said she's got a real talent for it. I think it was the violin? I bet she could play classical pieces flawlessly."

Stevonnie's throat tightened, and for a moment, their composure wavered. Your words painted Connie in such vivid colors, filled with genuine admiration that was so tender—so pure.

̶F̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶i̶̶r̶̶s̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶i̶̶m̶̶e̶, ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶m̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶r̶̶u̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶u̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶̶s̶̶t̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶, ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶l̶̶e̶̶f̶̶t̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶e̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶e̶̶x̶̶p̶̶o̶̶s̶̶e̶̶d̶.

It was then a softer expression crossed your face as you looked down, shifting your foot in the sand did Stevonnie feel something give.

 "I don't know," your voice dipped with shy honesty. "I guess...I'm just really excited to meet her. She seems so incredible, even though I haven't even met her yet."

A small smile—hopeful and sweet—crossed your lips. "I hope she'll want to be my friend."

Stevonnie's emotions reached a breaking point.

A part of them, Steven's part, felt a surge of joy at how deeply you cared. But Connie's part—rooted in insecurity and longing—felt exposed and vulnerable.

̶S̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶n̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶m̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶n̶ ̶e̶̶n̶̶v̶̶y̶ ̶o̶̶r̶ ̶j̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶y̶; ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶i̶̶f̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶m̶̶a̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶t̶ ̶f̶̶l̶̶u̶̶t̶̶t̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶i̶̶g̶̶n̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶.

"You...really know a lot about her...huh?" There was a mix of surprise and appreciation in their voice. "That means a lot—to both of us. She's always looking for people who see her, not just what she does but who she is.""

A soft breathy laugh escaped them, almost involuntary, tinged with something bittersweet.

"I think she'd really like to be your friend too..." Stevonnie whispered, the sincerity catching even them by surprise.

̶A̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶ ̶p̶̶o̶̶i̶̶n̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶g̶̶u̶̶a̶̶r̶̶d̶ ̶d̶̶r̶̶o̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶p̶̶l̶̶e̶̶t̶̶e̶̶l̶̶y̶, ̶r̶̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶q̶̶u̶̶i̶̶e̶̶t̶, ̶t̶̶e̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶h̶̶o̶̶p̶̶e̶.

You look up at Stevonnie with wide eyes as a look of disbelief flash across your face before melting into a heart-shattering smile. "Really? You think so?!"

You seemed to catch yourself, quickly clearing your throat, though it didn't quite hide the excitement still glimmering in your eyes.

"Yeah that's cool or whatever," your attempt at nonchalance was betrayed by the slight bounce on your heels.

Stevonnie couldn't help but laugh at the sight as Garnet joined in, her laughter low and warm.

̶F̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶n̶ ̶j̶̶u̶̶s̶̶t̶ ̶a̶̶d̶̶m̶̶i̶̶r̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶y̶̶m̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶, i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶m̶̶a̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶i̶̶f̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶a̶̶l̶̶l̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶s̶̶e̶̶l̶̶f̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶e̶̶l̶ ̶i̶̶t̶.

And that's when you brought it up.

Almost as if the sudden thought appeared, you let out a casual laugh. "Oh and I just realized—Stevonnie huh? You now your name kinda sounds like a mix between Steven and Connie. Isn't that funny?"

The smile froze on Stevonnie's face. A jolt of panic shot through them and they balked. "W-what?!"

Stammering with wide eyes, they struggled to find their footing. "Wha? What do you mean? No it's not like that at all." Their voice tripped over itself, each word tangling into the next. "I mean I'm older than both of them—Steven and Connie. I don't even look like them if they were merged together hahaha!"

They gave an awkward laugh, though it sounded forced, the tension clear in their voice.

You blinked, your brows furrowing as confusion crossed your features. Before you could voice the questions forming on your lips Garnet's voice cut through the moment.

"____. You're going to miss the RoboDog movie marathon if you stay any longer," she called, her voice voice cool and even, yet somehow managing to carry a knowing lilt.

Your eyes lit up at the mention of the movie series, all confusion momentarily replaced by excitement.

"Oh! Right! Thanks for reminding me Garnet." You shot a quick glance back at Stevonnie, your expression brightening. "It was really nice meeting you Stevonnie! And tell Steven I'll call him later!"

You paused a beat as if considering your next words. Head lowering from fluster, the words tumbled out before you could stop them, "And...do you think maybe you don't mention what I said earlier? I think I'd die if he knew."

Garnet, standing beside you, puts a gentle hand on your shoulder with a knowing expression. "No worries. Steven won't know of your confession about your budding romantic feelings for him."

The tension from your body disappears at her reassurance making you release a breath of relief. "Thank yo—"

You freeze mid-gratitude. Your eyes widened as your head whips towards her, the question slipping out in a rush. "Wait—how did you know?!"

Stevonnie felt a rush of heat climb their neck at the full confirmation. The tension inside them strained, pressing against the fragile seams of their shared being.

Steven’s excitement warred with Connie’s panic, and under it all, a trembling awareness pulsed with each heartbeat.

Their nails dug into their palms as they struggled to hold steady. It was taking every ounce of self-control to keep from separating then and there.

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶u̶̶r̶̶g̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶e̶̶a̶̶k̶ ̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶.

Garnet's chuckled softly, voice tinged with a poetic clarity. "Love is felt even when it's hidden. It shines brightly even to those who cannot see."

She gives Stevonnie one last look—a look that conveyed understanding, as if urging them to accept what was brewing inside.

You blinked, caught between embarrassment and wonder as Garnet gently urged you toward the nearby car.

"W-wait! Hold on now! I can explai—"

Your stuttering attempts at saving face were met with another quiet laugh as she guided you inside, shutting the door with a quiet finality.

Stevonnie stood unmoving as the car rolled away, the sound of tires on sand growing fainter until all that remained was the soft whisper of the waves and the steady thump of their heartbeat.

The air was thick with unsaid truths that everything was changing.

It was quiet for a long moment, the silence stretched thin as the fusion watched the taillights disappear over the horizon.

Finally, with a shuddering breath, the tension in Stevonnie's frame snapped—collapsing into two separate forms.

Steven stumbled slightly, catching himself with wide eyes that remained fixed after where the car last was in a mix of awe and confusion. His cheeks were pink, emotions an open book.

Connie stood beside him with a downcast gaze; her fingers curling into the fabric of the skirt she wore as her heart ached with a bittersweet awareness.

The soft press of the fabric in her hands grounded her, kept her from spiraling further into what-ifs and whys.

Cool breeze bit at her skin, but she didn't flinch, heavy heart thudding in her chest with a realization she couldn't yet voice.

It was as if a door had opened, letting in the rush of emotions she’d created and kept locked away all in one day, mixing with the echoes of your admiration and her own conflicted feelings.

Steven's eyes stayed fixed on the empty stretch of road—a soft, wistful ache in his gaze.

"So," he whispered after a beat, breaking the stillness. His voice quivered low and uncertain. "What did you think of ____?"

Connie's heart thudded painfully as she turned to look at him, the moonlight casting long shadows across his face.

Her eyes softened as she saw the flush in his cheeks and the hint of hope in his expression. It mirrored a feeling she recognized all too well.

Words were caught in her throat all tangled up in emotions she hadn't even begun to sort through.

Both confessions—having feelings for Steven, dare say even admiring Connie—it reverberated in her mind.

So much it came with the stinging realization that tinge of jealousy she'd ignored was more than she wanted to admit.

That now, mingled with that envy was something new—something she wasn’t sure she could deny any longer.

"What I think...?" she started, the words trailing off as she searched for something true to say.

Steven's hopeful, expectant eyes met hers, and for the first time she felt the truth settle heavily in her chest.

There was no escaping it now—the feelings she thought she’d buried were surfacing, mingling with the unexpected warmth she now feels when she hearing your voice or seeing your smile.

A soft rueful smile tugged at her lips, and she let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh.

"I'm thinking how bad is it to say I see why you're smitten."

[suworkbook]

These two dramatic babies mugging for the cameras. 

[dykejasper]

Crooked Trajectory [SU fanfic]

Chapter Two - "Destabilized" - Lapis POV (link to chapter 1) AO3 Chapter 2 Link Jasper's sudden, unannounced arrival to Little Homeworld throws Lapis mentally off-balance, and she struggles with guilt, fear of abandonment, and self hatred. Amethyst gets her high to cope and Peridot finally hears the ugly truth. Rating: Mature CW: abuse, confinement, torture, choking, drowning, suicidal ideation, substance use (gem weed, lol), discussions surrounding trauma

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Wide yellow eyes with pupils narrow as pins stared, unblinking, between wet tendrils of white hair that snaked over clammy skin. The beast was motionless for the first time in weeks. The tense calm was unnerving, and Lapis knew better than to let her mind wander for even a moment.

Jasper's tired voice cracked when she asked, "Why don't you end this?"

Lapis ignored her, focused on maintaining their bond while shutting off access to her mind. She already leaked too much when she got distracted, and she couldn’t risk giving Jasper any more of herself.

When they first fused, Jasper tried to split away, but Lapis quickly figured out how to apply water chains within Malachite to match those on the outside, binding their light so she couldn’t leave. She thrashed, yanked, bit the chains, twisted, kicked, roared violent threats and obscene insults; none of it mattered. Lapis always made it worse for her, getting creative with water gags that wouldn’t allow enough air for her to speak or a fist of water around her throat, yanking her into the foul green pool below with a cruel snap of force and holding her there. It was exhausting, but Lapis endured with grim satisfaction. All that flashy muscle meant nothing against the power of a planet’s ocean in her hands.

After Steven infiltrated their space, rage choked all other emotion out of Malachite. Lapis was distracted, disoriented -- worried that Steven was still near, somehow. Jasper yanked their chains with enough force to throw her forward, slamming her face into the pool floor and knocking the wind from her lungs.

She knew Jasper was only a few short strides away from ripping her apart and she scrambled to get up. Her legs slipped and slid as she kicked herself away, coughing and spitting out water. Jasper was smiling and had a crazed look in her eyes. Her voice was hoarse and soft when she said, “You’re not protecting Rose, you lying, traitorous brat.”

In her panic to fly away as far as their chains would allow, narrowly avoiding a swipe of deadly claws, Lapis let her guard down. Her mental barrier dropped, and she couldn’t control the flow of her memories.

In that brief moment, Jasper watched her emerge from the mirror in front of Steven, cracked and panicked and significantly limited in ability, but still more than capable of building an ocean tower into the edge of Earth’s atmosphere. Still capable of destroying the Crystal Gems and multiple humans, had Steven not begged her to stop. She would have enjoyed destroying the gems that kept her prisoner and tried to stop Steven from releasing her and would have delighted in their shattering -- if Steven hadn’t cared about them so much. She owed him her freedom, and him alone.

Lapis shook her wet hair out of her eyes and glared up at Jasper with every bit of hate she could harness, allowing her shatter-lust to pulse through them both with every beat of their fused heart. Steadying the quiver in her voice and forcing it cold as ice, she said, “I’m protecting him from us. You deserve this just as much as I do.”

Something in Jasper changed after that. Lapis had no clue how many hours of quiet they’d had, but it was stressing her out more than fighting. It could all be an act to make her drop her defenses again, and Lapis wouldn’t be tricked. Though it was getting hard to ignore the prickling anxiety that made her stomach twist and the tiny voice in the back of her mind telling her she made the wrong choice.

"Shouldn't be hard for you to shatter me. I won't even fight back... unless you want me to."

Lapis felt hot venom flood her veins and she clenched her fists, tightening the chains that held Jasper. Their hearts raced like opposing war drums, out of sync and messy. It'd be very easy.

And then what? Go back to Homeworld? Run back to the Crystal Gems and beg for their forgiveness? This was her purpose now. This was where she belonged -- crushed under cold, dark, abrasive sea and locked to one of the few gems more pathetic than herself. The chains got even tighter as Lapis’ fingers involuntarily clenched.

"Just do it already, you pathetic coward.” Jasper stumbled forward, her eyes wide and a terrifying, manic smile on her face that turned her blood to ice. “You want to, I can feel it! I want you to—”

"Shut up!" Lapis shot a thick tendril of water down Jasper’s throat, coiling it down her neck and clenching her fist. Blind panic bubbled up in Malachite while Jasper thrashed against her chains, her lungs flooding.

She'd never lose consciousness like an organic life form from asphyxiation or drowning, of course. But a gem’s survival instincts were designed to suit colonizing predators likely to meet physical resistance. If you threatened a gem’s physical form, they could really feel it, and would react accordingly.

Lapis could feel it, too. She could feel every painful, oppressive, horrible thing she did to Jasper, but that was fine with her. She owed it to Steven to stay and atone for what she did. Jasper wouldn’t even be on Earth if wasn’t for Lapis running back to Homeworld, expecting it to be her home after all that time.

She felt a powerful pull to crush Jasper’s gem when she said “I want you to;” an impulse that came from Jasper herself. Was she really that desperate, that she could overpower Malachite for that...? No, just willing to do anything to make me lose focus. The gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach spiked.

She crouched next to Jasper, swallowing down an intense choking sensation and watching her thrash up close. Impressive how this one turned out, considering the careless job done with her Kindergarten. Lapis was the one who cut the canyon that became her kindergarten – a panicked order coming from the top demanding a canyon far from where the Crystal Gem home base was, ignoring all other structural factors. It was there that she was poofed during a raid by the Crystal Gems, the day the Beta Kindergartners began emerging. She knew that wasn’t Jasper’s fault, but… it sure felt like it was.

She released the coil and Jasper collapsed forward and heaved up water, gasping for air while Lapis gently swept the wet hair from her pained face. She was soft -- loving, almost -- as she said, "You could feel how much I loved doing that, couldn’t you? Don’t worry about your gem. I don’t make a habit of breaking my things.”

That memory made Lapis want to claw her own throat open. You're a fucking monster.

Jasper’s eventual arrival in Little Homeworld was something she tried to prepare herself for. She had a thousand conversations in her own mind, repeating scenarios on loop compulsively. It was exhausting how angry she’d get over imaginary confrontations and blowouts with a gem that only existed in her memory.

None of her obsessive rumination included Jasper getting shattered. Finding out about that horrified Lapis, forcing her back into foul memories that she’d managed to avoid for a long time. What’d she finally do that pushed Steven to shatter her?

They were totally different gems in a totally different timeline from when they were fused. She vividly remembered the urges to shatter her own gem that Jasper shoved down when they were Malachite. She usually had no reaction to the impulse, thanks to thousands of years of Homeworld conditioning. She was taught that her only value as a gem from a defective kindergarten was her overwhelming strength and tenacity in the face of extreme torture and isolation, and she believed it to the point of pride. She was very good at pretending it didn’t bother her.

But, sometimes, the crushing darkness of the ocean was too much for the both of them, and they dwelled on their worst desires and impulses. Jasper was interested in being shattered long before Malachite. Her agate often described how the other Betas were shattered, and Jasper was left wondering what it felt like, if it was freedom of any sort. She never seemed to consider her agate might have been lying – most of her Kindergarten was unshattered on the Zoo ship. It was ironic that she achieved her goal, just to be dragged back to deal with the life she objected to.

Did she feel differently, now that she’d experienced it? Overwhelmingly, repaired gems reported their time being shattered as utterly miserable, a state of painful disconnect. The light that holds a gem’s consciousness refracts all over with no ability to connect, unable to repair itself, and unable to split away from the shards themselves. Like the human myth of purgatory, or how some humans speak of distressed spirits unable to achieve peace after their body’s death.

As shitty as all of that was, Lapis wished she could deal with it somewhere far, far away from her. Another planet, maybe. Jersey, perhaps. She’d like it there.

But she wasn’t in Jersey, no. She was leaning up against the wall of Bismuth’s shop, for some reason – arms crossed, staring off at nothing. Where is Bismuth...?

Lapis had been watching her from behind a sign for a few minutes in a state of disbelieving dissociation. At first, she was worried maybe she was hallucinating, but she looked like an entirely different gem from when they were fused – certainly not the version of Jasper that haunted her nightmares. She looked broken. Her corruption scars reminded Lapis so much of Malachite in color. She gazed absently at the broken horn jutting from Jasper's wild mane and wondered if she ever thought the same. Lapis would never forget that sickly green hell they shared.

Maybe it wasn’t her place to wonder at all. But after Steven corrupted himself out of sheer despair, well… There was no reason to believe corruption was a physical contagion a gem could contract from fusion. Corruption was a manifestation of the deepest despair turned physical, and despite all Jasper had been through, all the centuries of Homeworld torture before they ever met, her corruption scars resembled Malachite more than anything.

Her stomach twisted and she was overcome with a sudden and confusing rage that threatened to boil over into something physical. Nobody even told Lapis she was supposed to show up that day, that she was there already, right outside of Bismuth’s shop! She tried shoving down the voice that screamed and Steven fucking shattered her!! It was too much too fast; she couldn’t even remember where she was headed or what she was doing. She formed wings and took to the sky, flying hard and fast for the warp pad with tears stinging her eyes.

Why couldn't Jasper have gone literally anywhere else?!

The precarious happiness and stability Lapis built after destroying the barn was crumbling, and she had nobody to blame but herself. They didn’t have to say it directly. She knew they all saw her as a victim deserving pity, and she hated that. More than that, though: she hated the thought of her friends learning to fear her true self and abandoning her. That would be so much worse. They’d struggle to accept that she enjoyed keeping Jasper fused to her, forced to endure torture for torture’s sake. Forced to atone for the sins of other gems while Lapis wallowed in her own self-serving guilt and misery, redirecting her hatred of them onto the first gem to get in her way.

She landed hard on the warp pad; stumbling, gritting her teeth and blinking away tears, she warped away without directional thought. Things are better now. I'm better now. But if that was true, why did seeing Jasper make her feel so unstable so fast? Maybe because she was fucking shattered! Her chest clenched and a sob slipped past her lips – she couldn’t inhale. Lapis just wanted to feel nothing about her, why couldn't she just feel nothing…?

The warp stream cleared, and she was in the beach house looking at the temple door. Her stomach dropped when she realized there was no Steven to talk her down – he went to the hospital with his humans after his corruption stabilized and would likely be there for a while.

Selfish of her to turn to him right then, anyway. What a horrible friend she was for trying to bother him about this during his time of need. She turned to collapse on the couch and nearly jumped out of her skin when she made unexpected eye contact with Amethyst. There were bags under her eyes as she lay with her neck bent badly; phone in one hand and lit blunt trailing smoke from the other; surrounded by a mess of snack trash with a tablet laying forgotten on her belly, looping the Stardew Valley menu music. She held out the blunt in offering, saying, “Dude. You need this more than me.”

“So, you knew? Why didn’t you fucking say something to me?” She hated how shaky her voice was. Pathetic. The rage that’d reared up in her slowly fizzled away and was replaced with festering shame and disgust. She moved forward and snatched the blunt from Amethyst’s outstretched fingers and took a long drag, savoring the grounding burn that tore at her throat. She hated this stuff – a hybrid of earth cannabis, altered with Blue Diamond’s essence to heavily impact gems – but she needed something. Her eyes slid closed as she resisted the need to exhale. The desperate impulse to take in clean air was deliciously familiar.

“Damn, Pearl said she was going to text-- you didn’t hear from her at all?” Amethyst snatched the blunt back and Lapis exhaled, watching the swirls of smoke trail away. Her insides felt like ice, and she had nobody to blame but herself.

“I blocked her two years ago,” she admitted, and Amethyst choked, coughing out the hit she just took until a laugh made it through the gagging.

“Bro! I’m sorry, that’s so funny!” Lapis smiled in spite of herself; she couldn’t be mad at Amethyst for her own inability to tolerate Pearl’s newsletter texts. Amethyst said, chuckling, “I wish I could block Pearl sometimes.”

She slipped the blunt from Amethyst and put it to her lips, standing up and pacing while vacuuming down the burning smoke, grateful for something physically distracting. She hated how sick she felt. The weed was kind of helping, but not enough. She kept smoking, hoping she’d level out eventually. Numb was ideal right now.

“I don’t think she’s going to, like, do anything stupid, you know?” Amethyst’s voice was suddenly tense -- serious. “I thought I had the past all sorted, and I know healing isn’t linear, or, whatever, but I can’t stop feeling like things are just as bad as they used to be. Y’know. Back then.”

Lapis passed back the blunt in stiff fingers, blowing out her own cloud of smoke and feeling her scalp begin to tingle, spreading a buzzing warmth down every nerve until her toes tingled. She slowly pieced together, “I think… I need Peridot.”

Amethyst mumbled, “You and me both,” and took a quick puff off the blunt, blowing the smoke out quickly and pulling out her phone, typing one-handed.

The smoke curling from the ashen tip was making Lapis’ eyes burn. I miss Peridot. She plucked the blunt back from Amethyst, nearly finishing it off in one long pull that burned her throat raw. The strain and ache and fire from holding it all in as long as she could tolerate was a beautiful distraction. She wished she had booze so she could add more types of burn to the mix. What if nothing terrible happens? What if something good happens?

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready for this,” Lapis said thickly, struggling to hold back tears now that she was high, inhaling deep and exhaling slowly.

“Listen… I feel you. Literally nobody in my life has come for me the way Jasper did, and I’m still fucked up about it. I don’t blame you for feeling messy right now,” Amethyst said, setting aside her phone and staring out the window.

Lapis didn’t know what to say. She was pretty sure she’d done far, far worse things to Jasper than Jasper did to Amethyst. Lapis hated that everyone saw her as a victim of Jasper’s and would likely assume that was the source of her distress. Jasper wasn’t anywhere close to the worst gem Lapis had encountered -- though she was one of the most pathetic. Aside from me.

She wiped her face, angry at herself. She felt like she was regressing into old thinking patterns, but she didn’t feel like she had the power to stop it. The warp exploded with light and Peridot tumbled towards her, panting; saying between heavy breaths, “I got here as fast as I could! Lapis, are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Lapis said, irritated, suddenly wishing she was completely alone. Why?

“I can’t believe she just. Showed up here! And now Bismuth is on gemsitting duty, and soon we’ll all have to deal with her,” Peridot said, rolling her eyes.

“Must be terrible for you. I’m sure you know exactly how I feel,” Lapis said, any hint of humor behind the sarcasm gone and replaced with pure venom. She could see herself unraveling in real-time, and she was horrified that she couldn’t stop it. Amethyst looked up from her phone, her eyebrows raised, and Peridot looked suddenly terrified.

“I didn’t say that! I have no idea how you feel about this specific topic,” Peridot said, twisting her hands together. “You’ve never talked about this! And you don’t have to right now, but… Lapis, I’m afraid of losing you again.”

It’s like everything inside her was screaming for her to lash out at Peridot harder. Give her a reason to want Lapis gone before she finds her own reasons.

Peridot would never do that. She’s begging for you to stay in her life, even after everything you’ve done to her. And then Lapis broke down, her guilt overflowing; sobbing into her hands helplessly, repeating again and again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

And they were both comforting her, reassuring her, promising that they loved her; she believed them. She was still sorry to put them in this position at all -- of having to love a monster like her. She’d just hurt them again and again until they were worn down to a shell of who they once were. Isolation was the safest place for her, really.

In the deep dark of early morning, Lapis and Peridot sat together under the stars, listening to the soundtrack of some anime that Peridot kept begging Lapis to watch. They hadn’t spoken for some time, and Peridot was fiddling with an old Gameboy when Lapis finally spoke, her voice tight. “That was embarrassing. I haven’t lost control like that in… years. I’m sorry I scared you.”

Peridot put down the Gameboy immediately and said, “No, no, I’m sorry that I made it about me when it wasn’t. I just don’t know what’s okay to say about any of this, and that’s hard, because now we can’t just avoid the subject. The subject is too big and loud to avoid.”

“I feel insane that I can be in the same room as Blue Diamond and feel… nothing. Not bad, not mad, not sad -- not happy, either. But Jasper showing up throws me into a spiral worse than any I’ve had since... maybe the one where I took the barn? I can see why that messes you up,” Lapis said with a frown, misery churning in her belly like nausea.

Peridot shrugged and wove it off. “Can I ask questions? You can pass on any that are too hard.” She was nervous again – twisting the corner of the oversized T–shirt she was wearing today into a wrinkled mess. That made Lapis feel even shittier. Peridot, of all gems, was at least owed the ability to ask her any question she ever wanted.

“Shoot.”

“You’ve told me so much about the mirror, about your feelings for the Crystal Gems initially, especially Pearl. But almost nothing about this. Was this fusion really worse than the mirror?”

“Yes... and no,” Lapis said, staring at the shimmering stars, nearly blotted out by Earth’s light pollution. She’d thought about it a lot and was ready for that one. “The mirror is something that was done to me. Something I had no control over, just another casualty of insane Diamond drama. Another victim of the war. It was the worst – I was conscious the whole time, I – nothing compares to the mirror. But Malachite… was entirely in my control.”

“But you were just trying to stop Jasper from hurting the Crystal Gems. That’s what Steven told me, when you were still… with her,” Peridot said, seeming to doubt herself more with every word. Lapis’ heart raced; she felt sick.

“When he was still a kid? Garnet just beat her within an inch of poofing, and she begged me to fuse to save herself. She couldn’t have made me fuse against my will, which is why she used the Crystal Gems to try to persuade me. Take them down together, get revenge on the evils done to us both by them,” Lapis said, feeling it all pour out of her like Spinel’s injector poisoning the Earth. Talking about it felt good, but she knew the truth was terrible.

“I hated all of them, all of you -- everyone except Steven. And I couldn’t hurt the Crystal Gems if I didn’t want to hurt Steven, but I could take it all out on Jasper, easy. And she was stupid enough to bring up the mirror, and stupid enough to try to stop me from leaving. I wondered if she knew what being trapped so helplessly felt like.” Lapis paused, hating herself. “I could have poofed her, shattered her, punched her across the planet, flung her into space, any number of things -- but then what? Live with the gems who kept me in that mirror?”

She put her face in her hands, exhausted; afraid to see the horror in Peridot’s eyes whenever it clicked that she was an irredeemable monster. She felt like a shriveled-up husk and wondered, with a sense of irony, if throwing herself in the salty ocean would give back the energy that crying took out of her.

“And so, you feel… bad? That you did that?” Peridot sounded genuinely confused. Lapis nearly laughed but was too tired. At least she developed beyond her old habit of rattling off replies and advice fueled by assumptions. She looked her in the eyes, imploring; determined to make her understand. Still afraid to see her understand, but she needed to. Lapis needed her to.

“Peridot, if it had been you stopping me from leaving and begging me to fuse, it – yeah, I know you wouldn’t, shut up for a second and put yourself in these shoes – it would have been you, suddenly aware you can’t escape within seconds of us fusing and dragged to the deepest darkest trench of the Atlantic Ocean. I would have had access to your worst fears and memories while being too strong for you to shut me out, and I would have enjoyed using that to torture you.” There’s that flicker of fear in her eyes. Finally.

Lapis pressed on, steamrolling over the spark of panic that made her chest clench. “Every bit of suffering I put her through, I could feel as if I was doing to myself. I still get her war and Homeworld torture flashbacks as if they’re my own. It was only Jasper because she put herself in my way, and even at her strongest, she only had a fraction of my power! When we fought Alexandrite, it was because I wanted it! I wanted it so badly, and I knew Steven wasn’t there that time, and she called me on that weakness. She could never take control from me -- our fusion stabilized because we felt the same way in that moment. Bored, exhausted, and ready to shatter the Crystal Gems… whole, for the first time. Joined together without resistance or doubt, finally. And then we weren’t.”

Peridot’s shock slipped away, and she said, in all sincerity, “I’m glad I got the option to bond with you over Camp Pining Hearts instead of that option. Fusion sounds tedious.”

And Lapis laughed, feeling the hard stone shell that had formed around her heart that day burst, and she was flooded with affection for Peridot. She should have trusted the gem who called Yellow Diamond a clod to her face before Era Three to be relentlessly fearless.

Maybe her fearlessness stemmed from her youth and lack of exposure to true horrors. It was refreshing, regardless. Contagious, even. Smiling, Lapis said, “Me too, Pear. How would I understand the complexities of CPH without you?”

“Ugh, you wouldn’t! My expert analysis is fundamental to the experience,” Peridot said with an air of mock importance. Her voice slid back to her normal cadence as she said, “Thank you, also... for telling me about this. I’ve been misunderstanding your perspective for years. Understanding you is important to me.”

“Even if my perspective is really, really dark?” Who does she think I am, really?

“You’ve always been a little dark, I guess? The Lapis who did those things is the same Lapis that took the time to get to know me, even though she really didn’t want to. And sure, you took the barn and broke my heart, but you’re so important to me and I’d rather you remember that and always come back than leave forever out of fear or guilt.” Peridot had a warm little grin that made Lapis want to cry again. She didn’t deserve these gems. She crawled forward and kissed her gem, and then her mouth, and then her cheek.

“As long as you’re here, I won’t leave again,” Lapis promised, giving Peridot one more kiss on the gem. And she meant it, though her trust in herself was relatively low.

[starberrydreamx]

Pearl

Prologue ☆

Pearl! Welcome to the world you beautiful beautiful thing.” Her smooth bubbly voice was the first think Pearl ever heard. Even before she could put a name to it, she swore that voice was the most divine thing in the whole galaxy. The new gem opened her eyes to see an overwhelming flash of color, but even though she could feel herself getting overwhelmed, she focused her vision on the gem infront of her. She looked exquisite standing above her, with puffy pink hair and bright, sparkling eyes that seemed to hold a million worlds.  

Pink Diamond: Your new owner. Now, you must serve. Pearl put a smile on her face as a little voice told her about this wonderful being. 

“Hello my Diamond, it is wonderful to be of service.” She saw her Diamond’s smile falter, and with it her surroundings seem to implode on themselves. No. No. No! Her Diamond was not happy, she was not serving properly, she had done something wrong, she was inadequate for her and needed to be replaced immediately-

Then her smile was back, and the world was okay again. Everything was back in it’s rightful place, Pearl was at peace, but most importantly, her Diamond was at peace.

[rickardt]

A Steven Universe tribute I put together way back after finishing the final episode of Steven Universe Future ^^.

[bispearlnets]

nobody asked but I feel like height-wise (since there are no canon SU heights) I put Pearl at about 5’9/5’10 (seeing as she’s around the same height as Greg and he describes himself as “not that tall”, which I take to mean the shorter side of average). meanwhile Bismuth is around 6’5ish, maybe 6’6. Garnet is actually slightly taller than Bismuth which surprised me when I looked at reference images, I think she’s around 6’8ish. which would fit with Greg’s description of Rose being 8 feet tall, because with my height headcanons she would be just slightly under that. Amethyst is about 4’11 because she has extreme “not quite 5’0” energy

[love-takes-work]

Streamily.com Presents: The Steven Universe Cast Reunion Q&A Part 1

Here's a complete overview of the Q&A that was put on by Streamily, hosted by Elijah ("Not-So-Average Fangirl"), featuring Rebecca Sugar as the showrunner/creator, Deedee Magno Hall as Pearl, Lo (formerly known as Charlyne Yi) as Ruby, Estelle as Garnet, Susan Egan as Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond, Tom Scharpling as Greg Universe, Michaela Dietz as Amethyst/Famesthyst, and Larissa Gallagher as Bluebird Azurite. Read below to find out about a secret scrapped episode, Rebecca's comment on how to look at Rose Quartz, and lots of hilarious commentary from the cast about the experience of voicing characters on Steven Universe.

When the stream opened, everyone did their introductions:

Rebecca said they created the show.

Deedee said she played Pear. LOL, then said Pearl.

Lo said they played Ruby.

Susan said I play Rose . . . (with a cringe) and Pink.

Tom said "I was Greg, and I still am Greg, I guess."

Michaela: "Famethyst for life baby!"

Larissa played Bluebird, and a little bit like the character, she pops up when you don't expect it!

Estelle was not on the call at the very beginning but joined shortly after the questions began.

Here are the questions and the participants' answers!

Q: There were so many messages in SU. Which one do you hope viewers keep with them the most?

A (Rebecca): Rebecca learned to trust themself in being the authority about who they are. They were a bit rocky on this issue when the show began in their twenties, and learned they needed to be true to the art they made. That was reflected in the characters too. They hope people watching will learn to trust in themselves too, in the face of other people trying to tell you who you are.

Q: For Deedee Magno Hall: Pearl grew and changed in the show. How did it feel playing her in the first few episodes vs. the last few?

A (Deedee): There was no way for Deedee to know Pearl's journey when she started voicing her. She relied on Rebecca and the Crew to learn how to voice Pearl. The group had been talking about the pilot before they jumped onto the call, and Deedee says if she had listened side by side to what Pearl sounded like in the Pilot and what she ended up sounding like at the end, Pearl (along with character growth), vocally got exaggerated--it was Deedee's voice but really "went there"! Pearl felt so many feels. Deedee hopes she executed it well direction-wise. What a blast to play Pearl! And to see the growth in her character! It was fun and a challenge, and Deedee was grateful!

Q: For Michaela Dietz: Amethyst is silly and chaotic usually--what did Michaela pull from for the more emotional and serious moments?

A (Michaela): Many of the more emotional moments are about figuring out origins (the Kindergarten, etc.). Michaela is a transracial / transnational adoptee, so she pulled from that and was looking for her birth family while they were recording the Kindergarten episode. That was an easy well to tap. The growth that Amethyst had over the course of the series and movie and Future, Michaela feels like it parallels her relationship with the other actors and their characters. She's grateful to have made so many friends and is so happy to have learned so much from Rebecca (she joked about calling Rebecca "Reba").

Q: Question for all: If you could hang out with your character for one day, what would you do?

A (Rebecca): Steven is based on their brother, so they would love to spend time with Steven. It was challenging through Covid to not spend time with Steven. They always make time for Steven. They love spending time with people who played the characters! They never got to have a wrap party because of Covid! They were together for 8 years and they still want to have a belated wrap party. They would also love to spend time with Ruby (the self-insert character) and they love spending time with Lo too. Then they said "I need to be stopped because I'll go through every person."

Announcement: Estelle just joined!

Belatedly, the mod asks Estelle's question: Garnet is such an iconic character. Did Estelle know she was a Fusion from the beginning?

A (Estelle): No. She was the big grown Gem who took care of the others. She found out in real time with the cast when she did the recording. She was surprised by the lines in real time and had to calm herself down to record each line. She felt it was an honor.

Back to the "all: question of what each would do if they could hang out with their character.

A (Deedee), misunderstanding the question: If she could hang out with characters, would do tae bo with Garnet, get french fries with Steven, and have a karaoke and dance party with Amethyst.

A (Lo): When they were in kindergarten they would spit all over a tree and try to cover it with their spit. If they hung out with Ruby, they would ask for Ruby's help spitting on trees. There would be lots of hugging, punching pillows, etc. The moderator Elijah thinks fan artists will have fun with that.

A (Estelle): If she hung out with Garnet, she would ask Garnet to give her all the future information. She would want to borrow her "future vision goggles" too and want to know the future.

A (Tom): He would just drive around with Greg and listen to records. Go eat more. And end up going bowling.

A (Michaela): She would eat trash with Amethyst (and also some quality food?). They would mess around the San Gabriel Valley, get meal after meal, maybe buy an illegal turtle? No, that's not funny. They might hit up Ruby and spit on trees. Take in some underground wrestling. Amethyst is very intensely chill, and Michaela thinks they could do a great many things together.

A (Larissa): Going from intensely chill to intensely chaotic. She wants to bring it down from chaos and go ride Lion on the beach, with Bluebird carrying swords.

A (Susan): She wants to go into Rose's room to unpack. Pearl would need to be with her to Marie Kondo the situation. Then she would throw on a Universe shirt and hit music festivals.

Deedee realizes she misunderstood the question and wants to add: if she hung out with Pearl they would do laundry and some spring, summer, winter, and fall cleaning. Definitely Marie Kondo-ing the whole universe together.

Q for Susan Egan: Rose turned out to be a very complex character. As the story progressed and more about her was revealed, did Susan's approach to voicing her change?

A (Susan): She can't sing the praises of Rebecca enough: Susan didn't know at all what Rose's deal was. She got some hate comments when it was revealed that she was Pink, and she LOVED that because it meant the fans were invested. She was as shocked as everyone else. Pink was aging in reverse; Rose was wise and flawed, and then Susan would be voicing Pink and had to be petulant and immature, and she's thankful for Rebecca's direction in getting that right.

Q for Lo: Ruby is adorable. We got to meet so many versions of her. Other than Garnet's Ruby, which Ruby was Lo's favorite to play, and why?

A (Lo): They loved playing Navy. They got to be hammy. They ask if you know how when you order stuff at the drive-thru and you become that? They don't know why. It felt good. While voicing Ruby, they got to get in touch with how angry they were. Being seen as an Asian woman, it was nice to have a spot to channel that anger, and being Navy is like making fun of who you have to become when you're a people-pleaser. "I LOVE DIRT!"

Q for Tom Scharpling: Greg is an eccentric but loving father. What was Tom's favorite part of playing him and does he have a favorite scene?

A (Tom): Doing Greg was so fun. It's not Tom but it's more him than he thought all along. He had never done voice stuff before this, so he went in completely new. A script would say "walla walla" but he thought he was supposed to say "walla walla." Everybody laughed at him. He knew literally nothing about proper voice acting. So he got to really try and work at it. It was so satisfying to get to better at it. Anything from "Mr. Greg" was the big one in terms of a memorable episode. It was the best time.

Q for Larissa Gallagher: Bluebird Azurite is quite a menace. Did she listen to the individual Ruby and Aquamarine voice acting for inspiration?

A (Larissa): Yes. The script said Bluebird was Cockney, so she already knew what to aim for, but it turned out that taking those inspirations from the two characters she's made of would have led to this kind of voice naturally.

Q for All: Where do you each of the participants think their character is now and what are they doing?

A (Rebecca): To the cast, they know what the characters are up to post-show, but they can't say, it's too canonical.

A (Deedee): Says she doesn't know what canonical means. Pearl is probably doing more laundry and working on an album.

A (Lo): They guess they're just . . . fused. (Perhaps separating for scouting?) They might play Ruby Rider but not alone anymore. Interdependence, learning how to ground; Lo is not really sure how to answer since they feel like Ruby would spend most of her time as Garnet.

A (Estelle): She doesn't know. She figures Garnet sees what was gonna happen and just said "mmm." Just chilling. Even when she's fighting she has to be chill with the fighting-related grunting. She got direction to "flatline" her acting. She found it pretty natural though.

A (Tom): Greg is probably right where everything started again. Maybe working at a GameStop. Maybe he owns a bowling alley now. When asked what Greg would name it, he replies "Strikes and Spares."

A (Michaela): Amethyst would randomly get rich with Bitcoin and is retired. Maybe she would play Taiwanese Mahjong. Living a great retired life.

A (Larissa): Bluebird would be plotting and scheming and planning. Probably on a big planning board.

A (Susan): If Rose and/or Pink exists on any level, the only appropriate thing for her to be up to is community service. Like cleaning up trash at the bowling alley? Susan thinks it's time to start having a positive impact.

Q for Rebecca Sugar: Were there any scenes that ended up on the cutting room floor that you wish you could have included?

A (Rebecca): There was a bunker episode that they spent weeks on trying to crack; they wish they'd finished it. Ronaldo had a doomsday bunker. Sadie and Lars were trapped in it (with Steven). There's no way to leave. They were working on it so long and just couldn't make it work but they were determined to (maybe a little bit of the sunk cost fallacy!).

But usually the things that got left on the floor ended up evolving and changing into something different, even if they were really attached to the original idea. The idea for "Barn Mates" was originally that Sadie and Lapis would be the roommates with Sadie going to college. They feel that the Sadie story they ended up actually using was great. They love what they ended up doing with Lapis too.

In the very earliest version of "Giant Woman," Steven was going to unfuse into the two parts of him. And his "perfect" form, the big glowing muscular adult-looking Steven, was a Season 1 idea, and they didn't use him until Future. (After all, our roly-poly Steven is perfect!)

Now there are some fan-submitted questions. Their usernames are included.

Q for Deedee Magno Hall, from Makittuu: In what ways is Pearl special to you?

A (Deedee): She feels like a broken record, but she says again she was grateful to be voicing someone with the same natural voice as she had, and she had always wanted to be able to sing in a cartoon. She loves that she got to sing in the show. Pearl was the first major voice acting role that she had ever done and there's no way she would have known what the show was going to become and how successful it would be. She was auditioning for everything and was new to voice acting at the time. But one thing that she loved about voicing Pearl is that she got to share the experience with her kids. She connected the love Pearl had for Steven with the love she had for her sons. When she started voicing Pearl her kids were 2 and 8. For them to be able to watch Steven Universe on TV and hear Mommy's voice was so cool to share with her family. Now her kids are 13 and 19!

Q for Estelle, from Gonosoi: Do you have any fun stories from recording your lines on the show?

A (Estelle): When she was going through things in her life--and she thinks this is true no matter where you are or how you identify--the show somehow could speak to whatever she was going through. The lines would often be relevant. She'd come in with sunglasses on because it was early for her and her voice would be low. She'd be crying behind her glasses in difficult moments. She liked a fresh first take instead of knowing ahead of time what she'd be reading, so she didn't read the script ahead of time. She was surprised by needing to do the "ugh" and "ah" noises in different ways. It'd be difficult vocally. With Michaela, Zach, and Deedee, in between the lines and reading things together, hearing them switch back and forth between talking about life and then doing their recordings, it was so cool to see them do their work.

Q for Michaela Dietz, from Mal: Which one of your other characters would get along well with Amethyst?

A (Michaela): Definitely Vee from The Owl House. Maybe Maj'el from Star Trek Prodigy. She would be so "What is this purple being? Why do you eat? Where does the food go?" She'd be fascinated with Amethyst. And Michaela feels like Amethyst would thrive and try to do weird stuff in response. The shapeshifting she has in common with Vee. They'd get up to some trouble. Fun trouble. Harmless trouble. (Another fanart cue!)

Q for Susan Egan, from Gladde: Does Susan feel that Rose forgot about Spinel? Does she think she wanted to go back?

A (Susan): Susan thinks a lot was forgotten in her mind when she became Rose. Rose was so enamored of what's in front of her in every moment; she lives in the moment and can be a good quality but obviously Susan didn't know all of that when she was recording! Steven Universe is her kids' favorite thing she's done. Rebecca?

A (Rebecca): So much of the show is about how--something that was ultimately captured in the end credits song-- when you don't think of yourself as someone with power, Pink had less power than everyone around her, and she didn't know how much she mattered to others. She did things to them that she didn't think twice about because her importance to others didn't register. Feeling that she didn't matter, it radiated out. To her--her relationship with Spinel, Spinel was a toy to her. When she got a chance to grow up, she thought it made sense to leave Spinel behind. Pink is actually a softened version of what she was originally planned to be like. The sympathetic side of that and her self deprecation grew as they developed Pink over time. In aspiring to be a better person than she thought she was, that became who she was.

A (Susan): Rebecca brought all these characters' complexity to the table. It's easy to make things two-dimensional but people are complicated and we need to look at that in context. Good and bad can exist in the same person. She doesn't want Rose to always want to think about being Pink, but she thinks it helped her want to save more characters as Rose.

A (Rebecca): Rebecca likes to think of the Pink Diamond / Rose character as a cautionary tale.

Q for Lo, from stiffcorpse00: What kind of dates would Ruby and Sapphire go on?

A (Lo): Axe-throwing. They reference walking through doors and accidentally crashing into the frame, and they say "That's me." So they wouldn't do axe-throwing personally. Maybe Ruby and Sapphire would get some boba. Go walking. Teach Ruby how to float in water back because anger makes Ruby sink. Helping Ruby get anger out by screaming into pillows. Swinging one way and the other way.

Michaela suggests they could go to a rage room.

Lo objects that they're so expensive, and that they could just break stuff without needing to pay for it.

Susan suggests it'd be a writeoff because it's for work.

Lo says they'll go there and take a date.

Michaela says the experience is exhausting and therefore you don't need much time there.

Lo says a Ruby and Sapphire date involving paintball would be great, but everyone would run from Sapphire. Ruby's rage would get in the way. Sapphire would coldly get everyone.

There is more discussion of smashing fax machines and glass etc. in a rage room. Deedee asks "What is a fax machine?"

Q for Tom Scharpling, from GalixyYouniverse: What was his reaction to Greg getting his hair cut and was he upset?

A (Tom): He was fine with it. He was always coming from a different place than everyone else. His change would be getting rich or getting a haircut. Everyone else's was huge and cosmic. Anything with Greg, he related to Greg more than he should admit to.

Rebecca points out they have like drawings from 2013 with Greg with short hair. Sacrificing hair in a battle is something they always wanted to do.

Q for Larissa Gallagher from 1F4cnt4ND: How does she think Aquamarine and Ruby met and what was it like when they fused?

A (Larissa): She says it was a little bit mean to put her after Tom answering about the hair cut! But she doesn't know. If she had to say anything, it'd be existential. When you meet someone and you get that ball of energy inside you and you don't know whether it's good or bad--you don't know what's going to happen but something will happen. She likes to think that's the kind of energy that evolved. It didn't go in the most helpful emotional way but it was that moment attraction that no one can explain. Rebecca?

A (Rebecca): They had discussed in the writers room what Steven's influence is on Homeworld, how there'd be all these Gems on the wrong side of history, whether they were high status like Aquamarine or low like Eyeball, they'd pool into an out-group and meet to be frustrated about it. They'd been working on something that made sense before Steven changed the rules. Different types of fusions / collaborations and one born out of frustration and spite was one they wanted on the show.

Q for all participants, from trynottohappen: What was the hardest scene to record?

A (Susan): The first thing she did as Rose was the VHS tape. The monologue was her first time playing a mother, and it spoke to her heart. Like Michaela looking for her biological parents, there's something the character can teach you. Susan had to pull herself together after reading it--she needed to be joyful about her progeny coming. It makes her weep even today. It was one of her favorite things. She loved recorded with Deedee, and loved the love between them, the betrayal of Rose to Pearl, when we finally get to know what was really going on between them.

A (Larissa): The scene where Bluebird revealed her backstory of why they felt the way they felt. The complexity of the characters in the show, the hate isn't just "I hate because someone did this and said that." It's grounded, a real space of hurt that can never be fixed. Having to recreate that and not hate the character but love the character because of how much pain they were in. That was difficult but incredible.

A (Michaela): The hardest scenes were toward the end because she knew the show was ending. They were cherishing every moment together. In 2016, the day after the election, that was a hard day. Everybody was really distraught. There was a group hug at the end. In a time of such uncertainty, it gave her so much solace to know they had each other and they had art, they had ways of expressing themselves, that day sticks out.

A (Tom): For him, the songs were difficult. He would get sent a demo Rebecca recorded the night before, he's driving into NYC from New Jersey and listening to the song for hours all morning so he'd have it in his head, and then would be so nervous doing the songs because he didn't want the whole recording to be just him going word by word, line by line. The songs were the big thing he was hung up on. He'd try to do the songs first, then the spoken lines, and then the things where he yelled--he'd end up screaming sometimes and he'd not have a voice left. He wanted to do right by these very special songs. He jokes that Rebecca said he let them down over and over. (Rebecca denies.)

A (Estelle): She doesn't remember many hard moments. She'd attribute that to Rebecca's direction. She took a laid-back approach. The grunts and noises weren't familiar but also weren't difficult for her. She'd drink tea after. Real life would be happening but they always had each other in their bubble.

A (Lo): The Ruby Rider episode was the most fun and the hardest. They always wanted to play a cowboy! They were also going through a divorce during the recording. It was tough leading up to marrying Sapphire, delivering the lines, and they started crying because the opposite was happening in their life. And then they got direction to be more emotional even though they were crying. They said their voice was dead inside even though they were quite emotional. They're shy in the booth. Lo felt sweaty and weird doing the acting in front of other people, feeling awkward, and this is the first time they had to be a voice actor. This was THE WORST playing multiple characters during the baseball episode.

Michaela was so impressed with Lo having to be "like 800 characters."

Lo comments that doing 5 voices around other people as a neurodivergent person was so difficult.

A (Deedee): She loved receiving the demo recordings before having to sing a song. One of her favorite things was the singing. She wants the album of all Rebecca's demos. She remembers getting a script Monday to prepare and record on Wednesday. She heavily depended on the voice director and Rebecca. The really wordy scripts were difficult for Deedee with "ten-dollar words." The screaming was also really difficult. (She'd also do singing at the beginning, speaking in the middle, screaming at the end.)

A (Rebecca): Instead answering what scene was the hardest to write, they say there are so many. Because it was storyboard-driven, the script was in flux until it was animated, and they'd still be working with dialogue. With the potluck, when Lars doesn't show, Sadie has dialogue as she's walking down the street talking about Lars. They did a thousand drafts of it. With Sadie's story, there's a matryoshka of struggling with self-esteem while commenting on other people's self-esteem. There was a long path to get Steven to step into his mom's shoes. The biggest thing was tracking the ongoing storyline in a storyboard-driven show. Rose's speech was pored over as well. They wanted it to be layered and make more sense as you learn more about her. Does this line encapsulate everything you're going to learn about this character 60 episodes from now?

Q from CaughtMoonlight: If each of them could play any other Gem, who would it be?

A (Susan): Everyone wants to be Garnet, but could never!

A (Larissa): Ditto. 100%. Also, not a Gem, but she wants to be Lion.

A (Michaela): Peridot. All the way.

A (Tom): He says he can't do that and he's just a slob doing the voice of a slob. These things are all out of his reach.

A (Estelle): She'd go with turbocharged Peridot. She says the things that are in Garnet's brain. She'd get spicy with it.

A (Lo): Lo would choose Greg. They say he's not a slob. The world should be more relaxed and accessible.

Tom says he doesn't mean slob in a bad way. But he owns his slobbiness.

A (Deedee): Hard question! She loved voicing Pearl and all the Pearls. Everybody else, it would be so hard to voice. No comment.

A (Rebecca): Early on they decided to take a back seat and not cast themself. They loved being in the director role. They put a lot of themself into SO many characters. That let them have a presence in everyone. One thing they're really grateful for, but their former boarder Adam Muto on Adventure Time, they got to voice Marceline's mother. The composers aivi and surasshu asked them to sing "Love Like You" because it's really a reflection of so many characters that they got to write.

Q for All: They are asked to share their projects and socials.

A (Rebecca): Working on things they can't talk about yet. Last year they released an independent album. Years ago Estelle said Rebecca should tour. Susan said kind things. Lo texts songs back and forth. They would not have been able to make that album without that encouraging. Tom had them on the radio show. So humbling. Spiral Bound is a little EP and they're so grateful. They'd love to do more stuff like that.

A (Deedee): She loves the album. She is doing some recurring voices for Kiff on the Disney channel, and singing praise and worship at church.

A (Lo): They're playing Larry in StuGo who's shirtless and gender fluid on Disney. They want everyone to know sunsets are awesome. Catch them while you can to chase away depression.

A (Estelle): She has a new album coming out early next year, with two singles out now. The music is uplifting. And there's the Estelle Show (on Apple radio!). She's just living her best life.

A (Tom): The Best Show/podcast is still on every week. He started writing a new book--he wrote one a few years ago and thinks the one he's writing now will be done in maybe 11 years, so check it out in 2038. Just working on TV stuff and dealing with whatever happens.

A (Michaela): Exciting stuff we can't talk about. It's tangerine season! Trees going off! Been harvesting.

A (Larissa): Just got back from Japan. Trying to get back there. Video games are coming out but she can't talk about it. She is working on a startup called Ethovox, trying to protect voice actors int he age of AI. Larissa got so much fandom just from doing Bluebird for two minutes! She's so grateful for that.

A (Susan): She produces live concert content for Disney worldwide. She loves being behind the scenes and creating jobs for others and bringing joy. They've been in 18 countries! She wrote shows for the Hollywood Bowl.

Part Two comes out November 18, 2024! You can get signed prints at Streamily!

[faelapis]

i feel like i'm in at a lonely table for one here... but i don't want any SU continuity to be a prequel. and i think some people who want a prequel, haven't really thought through what that would look like.

either a war prequel or a rose quartz prequel would end up as a huge downer. the steven/post-steven era is the only one that has any HOPE for the vast majority of the characters.

idk. i feel like if you really want flashbacks, there's nothing STOPPING a post-SU future series (whether an anthology series or a new main character) from having flashbacks. maybe pearl's the main character for an episode, and its mostly her telling old war stories. maybe bismuth and garnet finally have that beta raid flashback.

but if you set it in the past, definitively, then its going to be a bummer. because all the characters end up corrupted, shattered, deeply traumatized, or fleeing to homeworld. nobody feels like a winner right after the war. not a single character.

most gems are only beginning to heal from it now.

SU, thematically, has always focused on the possibility of hope and change. that's only possible in the future, not the past.

you want lore? you can have that in an anthology or post-future series. there is nothing stopping peridot or the diamonds from having a "explaining gem origins and religion" ep. you want action sequences? again, pearl can narrative war flashbacks, or we can even set an anthology episode in the past proper. or have a new conflict!

personally, i don't see a reason to set it only in the past. that's just an unnecessary limit on the stories you're able to tell.

[clean-casual-analysis]

When the villain is a philosophy

When you think of the word antagonist, the first thing that comes to mind is a villain. This is completely natural, given that stories of good vs evil tend to follow a heroic protagonist fighting against an evil antagonist. But once you get into the definition of the word, a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something, moral alignment doesn’t dictate whether a character should be a protagonist or an antagonist. The most recognizable examples of this would be the likes of Invader Zim and Megamind, characters that are villainous in nature but are still the protagonists of their respective stories.

But villain protagonists and hero antagonists aren’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the antagonists that aren’t entirely focused on, at least in the traditional sense. Antagonists that, despite being the source of conflict in the narrative, don’t actually show up a lot of the time. These antagonists, while characters in their own right, are more symbolic in nature. The protagonists of these stories aren’t just trying to defeat the antagonists, but the rotten philosophies that these antagonists have. The beliefs that push the antagonists to do their villainous acts.

White Diamond: Uniformity and the Status Quo

In the entirety of the original Steven Universe series, not counting the movie or SU Future, White Diamond appears in three episodes out of one hundred and sixty episodes. (Two if we don’t count White Pearl/Volleyball) That’s not even one percent of the series. In most series involving a good vs evil plot line, we usually switch perspectives between our heroes and villains to understand how they’re reacting to the events of the story. But SU is entirely told from Steven’s perspective. The audience only gets new information about gems, homeworld, Rose Quartz, etcetera, when Steven himself learns it. Because of this perspective, we don’t see the final antagonist of the series until the very end of the show.

But even though White Diamond is not present throughout the majority of the show, her homeworld subordinates and beliefs fill in the place of the hurdles that the protagonists must pass. Think about what the show is about and what lessons it teaches. Relationships are intricate and need mutual respect, being proud of who and what you are, and (most importantly) societal roles do not define you. The development of the main characters each involve acceptance of the self and bucking of what’s expected of them. Pearl fully moving on from Rose, Garnet improving her self-love, Amethyst fully accepting herself for what she is, Peridot’s disillusionment with Homeworld and growing appreciation for earth, Connie disobeying her mother’s strict rules, Steven slowly becoming someone better than even his own mother, I could go on. It’s honestly surprising, looking back, how most of the characters’ core issues stem from the lack of self-assurance and how homeworld views their flaws.

White Diamond and her Homeworld regime ultimately represent how systems put limits and stigma onto people for the sake of uniformity. The consequence of living inside your own head. A fusion cannot happen between two different gems, Pearls must be servants, Quartz gems must be big and strong, and Diamonds must be the perfect leaders. Why? Because that’s just what gems do. Because that’s how the system works. Homeworld’s status quo is one of creating an ever-expanding empire at the cost of independence, self-expression, unique lifeforms, and healthy relationships. The system can’t be wrong, White Diamond can’t be flawed, it’s how things have always been so why change what isn’t broken.

Sauron: Dominance and Corruption

While he has more screen presence and is a much more a significant part of the story of Lord of the Rings than White Diamond is to SU, the dark lord Sauron is similarly one small part of a larger tale. Heck, he doesn’t even have dialogue in the book trilogy. Also, like White Diamond, Sauron is best represented by his many underlings. Ruthless orcs with crude but effective weaponry, colossal beasts to crush his enemies underfoot, massive armies dedicated to the dark lord’s cause of dominating all life in Midde Earth. But what’s most notable about Sauron isn’t the great power he possesses or the armies he commands, it’s the way he corrupts and deceives those that stand against him.

The betrayal of Saruman the White, the nine Nazgûl once being great kings of men who were turned into terrible ringwraiths, and most notoriously, the enticing power of the one ring. Boromir, believing that Gondor can use this evil weapon for good. Smeagol, utterly degraded into a deceitful cave dwelling throttler named Gollum. Frodo, forced to carry a heavy burden that weighs him down both physically and mentally. To Sauron, the corruption of good is a weapon he wields with unmatched lethality.

The insidious nature of his villainy is what makes Sauron the great representative of dominance and corruption that he is. The promises of more enticing good people to do evil for the “right” reasons and the ruthless conquest for dominion over all is all too real an evil to ignore.

The Martians: Colonialism and Warfare

I debated with myself on whether or not the martians from War of the Worlds should be included here. Unlike Sauron or White Diamond, the martians are clear and present throughout the story. On the other hand, there isn’t a named martian general or a big bad that’s shown to lead the alien invaders into combat. In the end, the fact that the martians are made to purely represent the darkest parts of humanity outweighs the secondary theme of this essay.

One of, if not THE first alien invasion story, War of the Worlds messaging is clear and easy to understand. The tentacled beings from Mars are coldly intelligent, remorseless, and regard our world with envious eyes. They use human blood as sustenance when they aren’t vaporizing us by the hundreds, their tripods are horrific machines of mass destruction, and their invasion is one of slaughter and destruction. But the book is quick to remind us that humanity isn’t so morally innocent compared to the martians. The consumption of our blood seems horrific, but humans have also killed animals and each other for food and resources. Their tripods are colossal and terrifying, but humanity has made countless destructive war machines. The invaders are dead set on wiping out humanity, but humanity not only brought extinction to animals like the dodo bird but to entire groups of our own kind. The martians are not simply an alien invasion to fight back against, it’s a cautious look into our worst future. A humanity that prioritizes ruthless colonization and military might is a humanity doomed to be parasitic and heartless.

War of the Worlds also takes a critical view towards solving problems through warfare. Violence is sometimes needed to fight evil, but that does make violence a good thing. The action and battles in War of the Worlds are not thrilling or glorious, they are horrific and even bumbling to an extent. Much like the early British imperials that they represent, the martians are arrogant and only win because they have the better technology. Even the destruction of a tripod has severe consequences, a flaming wreckage falling into a lake and boiling the humans hiding there alive. There is nothing pride or goodness to found in destruction and death. Warfare and violence should be the last resort of those trying to survive, yet humanity and martians brandish their weapons without care or empathy for those beneath them.

The Truth, In-Fighting, and the Seemingly Insignificant

These antagonists all represent a morally dangerous part of humanity. The stubborn refusal to change a flawed status quo, the desire to dominate and corrupt those who don’t, needless conquest and bloody war. But despite all their power and influence, these philosophies that the villains believe in fail them in the end.

For White Diamond, her ultimate failure stems from the mortal enemy of all tyrannical systems: the truth. In the last episode of Steven Universe, White Diamond removes the gemstone from our protagonist’s body. Believing that the mischievous Pink Diamond is merely hiding in this human body, White seeks to end this silly game once and for all. But once the gemstone is removed, it does form into Pink Diamond or even Rose Quartz. It forms a bright pink Steven. In the final act of Change Your Mind, White Diamond is faced with reality and all its implications. This gemstone is Steven, it’s always been Steven. This half human is not the irrational or childish person, it’s White. The leader of Homeworld, the one who’s supposed to know all and make things better, is wrong. But in order to do that, she needs to leave her own head. One of the hardest things for a person to do is admit when they’re wrong, that their foundational beliefs holding up a status quo is deeply flawed and objectively false. But accepting that you were wrong, learning from and fixing your mistakes, and becoming something better than what you were before is the greatest reward anyone genuinely looking for redemption can ask for.

For Sauron, his victory over Middle Earth comes so close. Minas Tirith has been ravaged, the army of man outside the black gates are crumbling before his might, and the ring bearer has been corrupted. However, just when all hope is burned to ash, something unexpected happens. Gollum, the epitome of the corruptive power that the one ring possesses, attacks Frodo to get back his precious. Whether it’s through struggling with Frodo like in the movie or not paying attention like in the book, Gollum falls into the fires of Mount Doom with the ring in tow. In the movies, we’re told that the eye of Sauron can pierce through cloud and stone. Because of this detail, I personally wonder what was going through the dark lord’s mind as he watched Gollum plummet to his death. The one ring’s defense, Sauron’s greatest strength, corrupting others into fighting amongst each other, was what led to his ultimate downfall. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Think back to the orcs fighting amongst themselves, or when Wormtongue stabs Saruman in the back. Not to mention that the mercy of both Frodo and Bilbo is what led to Gollum reaching Mount Doom in the first place. Even with all his armies and power, Sauron underestimated the petty infighting amongst his followers and the little acts of kindness of his enemies. Even when the forces of darkness seemingly succeed, all they’ll have left is each other to destroy. As Frodo himself said in the Two Towers book, they can’t conquer forever.

For the martians, their demise comes outwardly from nowhere. Their Tripods fall silent and they all die due to sickness. The book states that the martians either never encountered bacteria like earth’s or they had wiped out all disease on Mars. In both scenarios, the martian’s belief in their untouchable superiority over earth led their death. As soon as their invasion started, they were doomed. War of the Worlds isn’t just a hard look at what humanity could become, but also a love letter to all types of life. Bacteria, the seemingly most insignificant part of our world, is our savior here. It is so, so easy to despise germs and how they make mankind ill. But they also decompose dead flesh, helps the human body digest food, and are just as vital to our world as so many other creatures’ humanity takes for granted. All forms of life has a place in this world and to undervalue, let alone actively want to eliminate, all of it is foolhardy and black-hearted.

It’s how these stories come to an end is why I’m attracted to the idea of villains representing abhorrent philosophies. They show the inherent flaws of such morally bankrupt ideas and how their failures are inevitable. The desire for uniformity and belief that your status quo is flawless cannot stand up to the truth of the situation. Great and powerful conquerors seeking to corrupt will find themselves destroying each other when there is nothing left to dominate, while small acts of generosity and sympathy keep their opponents afloat. Arrogant war lords with their mighty machines will crumble to the things they deem to be insignificant.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/747087104725729280/who-are-all-these-people-getting-harassed-and#notes

Can only speak about what I experienced or my friends, but I remember that during the Legend of Korra there was a lot of this shit. Especially when the KorrAsami ship became more popular. There was also a growing dislike of any M/F shippers, and a lot of anti-bisexuality for Korra and Asami, despite them both having dated a guy, and nothing to imply that they're no bisexual anymore. The fact that they ended up together was apparently enough to bring out the knives to any "bisexual" shippers.

Bubbline, aka Princess Bubblegum and Marceline also got the anti-bi treatment for Marcie, and people getting angry if you did the ship wrong.

And last but not least: STEVEN UNIVERSE! Oh girls, boys and NB'joys. There were a lot of different F/F ships, but during the entire run and especially by the end of SU, if you dared do it wrong there were knives. You couldn't ship Pearl/Garnet because that's abuse. You can't ship Pearl/Rose because it's abuse. Amethyst/Pearl: Abuse. Garnet/Amethyst: Abuse. Lapis/Jasper: Abuse. Peridot/Lapis: Abuse. Garnet/Jasper: Abuse. Pearl/Jasper: Abuse. Amethyst/Jasper: Abuse. Peridot/Amethyst: Not abuse surprisingly but that one's also bad. Diamonds/their Pearls: Abuse. Don't you even fucking dare try doing any M/F ships with the gems, because they're all "lesbian coded" and if you still did it: Knives. Honestly, every ship was somehow bad, and if you got swept up with the wave on antis you'd get attacked for your ship. It was exhausting, especially following fan art. But it was also a real good show of anti hypocrisy because every anti would ship their fave F/F regardless, and would just twist another ship to be the bad one, and they can ship their ship because they're smarter.

--

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

Who's your fav character of su?

my top three favourite steven universe characters

(because three are particularly special to me)

pearl

i’d use the favourite character label for pearl because of how much i admire her. being there for steven through his personal trauma. giving connie + steven support that she + rose never had while also learning from them. she has to work through her flaws, trauma, grieving the loss of the love of her life, never having a childhood, struggles with understanding humans so that she can properly care for a human child. but she loves so strongly and that helps her significantly. she loves him just as rose would have loved her son. steven always says things like, “pearl is smart and she’s always trying to protect me from danger!”

gosh, i love everything about pearl as a rebel against homeworld. homeworld says that pearls are inferior gems with irrelevant feelings���sugar writes in end of an era that rose fell in love with certain aspects of pearl’s personality, one of her main traits being how fiercely opinionated she is. homeworld says that pearls are not built to fight, pearl learns sword fighting for a war against homeworld gems who were supposedly built for fighting. she’s incredible and garnet’s first impression of pearl is “terrifying renegade.” homeworld says that pearls are made to serve, to simply stand there and follow orders from a superior who they don’t have a personal connection with. once they’re on earth & pearl can be who she is, she not only has her own personality but she’s able to fall in love and form a meaningful relationship. she wants to take care of her, keep her safe, make her happy. but she won’t do anything for her in some shallow, traumatizing homeworld way that involves her standing there & looking pretty & following orders. no, she’ll fight for her, she’ll be her knight because that’s the kind of personality she has. that’s the kind of love she has for her, it’s protective, caring, and bold rather than pure worship, feeling weaker than her, & timidity. it’s not always easy, and she has to work on complex trauma from homeworld (i.e., overprotective mixed with difficulties grasping that rose loves her for simply being herself and not because of the things she’s doing for her) but she makes progress and her growth is continuous, from flashbacks to the final episode.

in sworn to the sword, she has a memory in which she saves rose at the very last moment from a homeworld gem who’s supposedly “built for fighting.” she doesn’t even focus on how powerful she is in that memory, because all she’s thinking about is how scared she was for rose & the relief she felt when she was saved. she’s so smart & empathetic, so you can tell that she really cared about rose’s abuse trauma and the pain she tried to hide. by then, she is understanding humans more and therefore she only tells steven a little bit (i.e., having her feelings invalidated & being pushed to continue when she was upset that her colony would hurt living things in now we’re only falling apart), knowing that too much detail would be too scary for a child.

she also has lovely outfits (especially her outfit with the legwarmers) & songs. she can be so comforting & nurturing, yet so fierce & protective. which is great for both rose & steven.

rose

i’d use the comfort character label for rose because of how much i relate to her. our personalities, our views, the things we’ve been through, & some other more personal things. just a little tip for anyone who reads this: if you struggle with sympathizing with yourself, sometimes looking at a character you love & relate to is helpful! i have so much empathy for rose, and then i think, wait, but i’m so much like that. as a bi & poly girl, i feel so understood by her story in that way, too.

like pearl, she’s a complex and flawed character. she genuinely believed all life was precious, urged the crystal gems to protect even humans they didn't understand, and never wanted to shatter anyone. she saw beauty in everything but couldn’t apply that to herself—she couldn't forgive or love herself, or see the beauty pearl saw in her. it’s heartbreaking that pearl always tells others how much rose cared about all life, knowing rose’s only exception was rose herself.

while that’s not as comforting, it’s meaningful. you learn a lot from it. onto nicer things.

she’s also comforting because she’s so endearing to me. she says the most adorable things, has the cutest facial expressions, everything.

she’s associated with other things that bring me comfort; my favourite colour is pink, i love animals & she has a bunch of lion friends. i loved princesses & fairytales as a child & she gives me nostalgia with her healing powers & other princess traits. my four-year-old self watched princesses who did everything right, did no wrong, were loved by everyone. straight with one specific body type. i couldn’t quite relate to them, & of course i wanted to be a princess. but rose! she’s sapphic & chubby & she fights with her knight who uses she/her pronouns & she makes mistakes & has mental health issues & is disliked by some. i can’t even begin to explain how refreshing that is. she’s unique, realistic, relatable, different from the stereotypes, complicated, & just as beautiful (if not, more) as any princess that i loved growing up. her story with pearl has so many fairytale features & yet it’s so complex, which is really cool.

connie

connie is my third favourite character, and she is relatable in some ways as well as admirable. she resonates with me because of how i was growing up. so, she gives me some comforting childhood nostalgia too. overachiever, “gifted,” shy. i empathize with her so much & i love watching her character development.

connie + steven are different from other kids. connie is super smart & mature & quite anxious, while steven’s a gem with some really traumatic experiences. their closeness is so meaningful. they grow together while they enjoy being kids & making childhood memories together. connie also reminds me of how pearl would be if she was a kid who grew up in beach city. i could say the same about rose with steven, and i love the parallels. the kindergarten scene in now we’re only falling apart particularly made me notice the similarities in their personalities and the way they interact. like pearl, she starts off being nervous, following all rules. she’s seen as inferior to homeworld. that doesn’t matter, because her best friend & eventual love interest admires her even though he is a diamond who lives on earth as a quartz. he’s more playful, & their contrasting personalities are good for them.

i love how caring she is. she doesn’t understand everything about gems, and she’s a kid! of course it’s confusing and distressing. but connie never runs the other way when things come up because she knows this is confusing and distressing for steven, too. i love when she says, “i want to be part of your universe.” she always knows when she needs to check on steven, talk to him about difficult things, reassure him, & she even trains with pearl so that she can protect steven and the earth. her courage and determination amazes me, too. she sees the gems summon their weapons, resurrect, heal, see the future. she’s human, but she doesn’t let that phase her. she learns to fight and she’s incredible at it. she has so much empathy that she can truly put herself in other people’s shoes, ask them meaningful questions. she’s just a wonderful person.

if i made a top ten list, you’d also see steven, amethyst, garnet, ruby, sapphire, pink pearl, & blue pearl. there’s even more characters i love after that, but yes! i don’t know how to end this! bye, i suppose!