#i wasnt one of those kids who figured it out crazy early

[gh0stcav3]

genders weird. every time i think of younger me i think of her as a girl. and not usually in the self deprecating or accidentally misgendering myself way. but in the i wasnt old enough to care way. i was mostly happy enough to be a girl. like there were a Couple things but like we’re thinking big picture here. the obvious differences between boy and girl hadnt set in yet and so it was simply whatever. she was a girl. i am not. shes still me though and im still her.

[lapdogchase]

OKAY SO.

in this context truthing means like, digging into a celebrity(usually a youtuber)'s personal life to try and figure out if they're queer (or have a certain mental illness/etc, but usually it has to do with queerness). i dont think the term is used in that way much outside of mcyt spaces, but in them the two sides are truthers (people who dedicate time and energy to truthing, usually have secret alt accounts for it- there are/were whole subcommunities on twitter for this), and everyone else (anti truthing or at least, like, not giving a fuck)

honestly i have no idea- i think something happened in dsmp circles in early 2022 that drove people away (i have no memory of what it Was, and it might have been multiple things), and then foundations of decay came out and the tour started, so a bunch of people were drawn in by friends/mutuals/other ppl liveblogging those. i noticed a lot of ex-mcyt blogs turned mcr blogs at the time, it was really funny to be following someone for mcr posts and realize they used to be a popular mcyt blogger that i knew by url

oh the gerard gender wars i know them so well... basically what we know gerard has said flat out is that they use he/they pronouns and don't like labels, as of 2015, that they dressed as a woman thru college and identify a fair amount with the female gender (their words), etc. basically the gerard gender wars are people ripping each others throats out over whether gerard is a Man or a Woman or Nonbinary. im not sure why ppl are so convinced it's any of our business. something something parasociality. im of the opinion that it does not matter and gerard would probably not care about people calling them a man OR a woman on the internet Bc they have a wife and kid and a new album to be working on (i hope they know they have an album to be working on LMAO)

I WISH I KNEW 😭 back in like, 2021 there were whole subtwts dedicated to doxxing mcyts it was fucking crazy. i know a lot of the world was under lockdown still but jesus christ take up various forms of arts and crafts like the rest of us !! there were like, multiple doxxing communities too, i know there was one for ranboo and their friends, and one for dream and his friends, and there were probably more i wasnt aware of (i tried not to be aware of it but i'd see posts every 3 days like "block [specific users] in [subtwt name] for spreading info about these creators!!" it's like nobody even knows about the streisand effect)

and yeah no 15 year old undercover cop is basically the best way to describe all of it tbh . why were chronically online teenagers roleplaying secret agents uncovering people's, like, sister's spam instagram accounts GO PLAY OUTSIDE WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!

wearing a shirt that says "ask me about how i think minecraft youtuber fans influenced the gerard gender wars of 2022". not making many new connections with my peers for some reason

[star-firework]

wow, i watched a clip of paramore's song for twilight and it oddly threw me into nostalgia memory mode

i was in 7th grade and i remember hearing all the girls in my class talk about twilight and so i decided to pick up a book

but it was new moon and only once was i half way into it i realized "hey this might be the 2nd book...............and why i dont know whats happening" or i figured i could assume, idk

i still really liked it and so i picked up the first book

oh FUCK i was HOOKED, i would wake up at 4 am before school just to read!!!!!! I also had just discovered nico nico douga and so i would play the medley songs and read fjdsklfjsl

i mentioned i would wake up to read and teachers thought i was a smart kid finally but little did they know i was just reading twilight

then i would search fanart or anything i could to get visuals since the movie was only announced and no previews released

i found stephenie meyers blog and would read whatever i could, later on I remember she had the rough draft of the only just released edward book?? I remember reading it in 2007!!! so crazy!! its like food fight (2012)

once the trailer was released, i was a bit disappointed in how they looked, much diff than how i imagined, especially jacob!!!!! idk, i thought jacob in the first movie had such a distracting wig on so i didnt like his design LOL the later movies i was like hell YES

i was a jacob girl and my mom became a edward girl after the movies

i got the first round of twilight shirt merch with alice on it and a thin ass jacket with twilight on the back. alice's hair was becoming popular and i really wanted it too. I think I ended up getting her cut but obviously her hair is styled so my hair instead just looked like an avon lotion MLM sales lady...

The next few movies my mom was actually the one who would get us midnight screening tickets with her friend. i didnt even have to ask LOL! she was so into it, such a phenomenon

afterwards we would hit the kind-of-waffle-house and try to get sleep before school. For some reason couldnt miss it even tho we were out til 2 or 3 am lol

those years were such a rough, terrible, traumatic time in my life but the obsessions and internet roaming was some of the best times and memories.

i was also into gaia and would love walking around on the world, seeing cake-kun frozen on the waterfountain in the town square, and try to make friends and get a cool avi outfit

i remember someone named super? saia neko chan or something, i always thought of the shipping company, SAIA, and now I work w receiving from SAIA LOL, not a coincidence but a funny thought

iscribble.net was also around, i would DREAM, LITERALLY DREAM, of getting the full permission of all the tools once i drew enough or something like that. I was obsessed and would also wake up at 3-4 am just to draw. I wish wish WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had screen recorded the loading screen of my oldest draw room, "epic girls only"

we made an effort to never clear the board and let it have a history, an archive of our art. it would take foreeeeeeeeeevvvvverrrrrr but it was always so fun to watch our art over the years flash by and be erased and redrawn. there really wont be a time like that again i think, same with pretty much all the early internet era stuff like first era of youtube, tumblr, and twitter. they were just soooo different. tumblr wasnt callouty. youtube would let you edit the design of your channel like myspace and it was the best, the comments i would interact w were also different. I am now having kids today talk to my comments i made at their age on the same videos!??@?@?@ thats so crazy

a my melody opening video i commented on in 2007 or something is still up and so just a few months ago, young kids replied to the comment asking if i still am alive or old loooooooooooool so cool!!!!

interacting w the past and future in one

[koyacyi-vode]

Hey! For the character ask game, could you do Fox and/or Dogma? Thank you! :)

Brave of you to request Fox for this headcanon game when C literally encourages me to be as mean as possible. Fox first then I'll post Dogma second!

---

Headcanon A - realistic:

This is one I explored briefly in this fic. Fox rarely drinks alcohol. He has always disliked the feeling of not being in control, and that feeling gets exponentially worse the longer the war goes on the the more he has to deal with palpy. When he DOES drink he drinks alone and usually just to either forget things or because he can't sleep. He'd only consider getting positively shit-faced if he was with his closest brothers (those who know why he doesn't drink instead of just thinking he's got a stick up his ass).

On that note, few of Fox's brothers know him very well because he's incredibly closed off. Shinies in the Guard are simultaneously awed by him (cause wow!!! it's THE commander Fox!) as well as intimidated by how cagey he is with them (which gets MUCH worse after Fives)

Headcanon B - while it may not be realistic it is hilarious:

Fox has zero clue how to deal with children and even though he is hashtag 'trying his best', he's woefully lacking in parental instincts. He gets awkward with them and uncomfortable cause KRIFF they're small and vulnerable and where's their armor???

Unfortunately, when Fox draws the short straw and has to guard senators or diplomats (on Coruscant, poor boi never gets to leave because of his position and isnt on the diplomatic service rotation like the other commanders) he is sometimes saddled with their children.

and if Fox didn't know how to interact with NORMAL children, senators' chilren are an absolute nightmare for him.

Fox, whose one personal posession is a 40oz caf mug, is privately horrified that a toddler can have their own FLOOR of a building to themself.

Fox is eventually taken off babysitting duty entirely as Thire quotes him as being "a danger to public safety and common sense" after he gives a child a blaster when the kid asked for something to play with and the parents complained.

fox: it wasn't kriffing loaded. i'm not stupid.

thire: uh huh. you keep telling yourself that.

Headcanon C - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends:

(general warnings for suicidal ideation, please be mindful if that makes you at all uncomfortable, especially the paragraphs i'm marking after a *)

Fox has some of the most intense survivor's guilt in the GAR. Being from the original Command Class, live fire was still used in training up until they were roughly 16 standard years. Fox's first visceral experience with death was when one of his batchmates made a single misstep and was fatally wounded in an exercise. Fox was right next to him and held him while his brother died in his arms.

That experience so young shaped him into being incredibly protective of his brothers as well as being a perfectionist. (If one wrong move gets you killed then he CAN'T make a wrong move, otherwise what use would he be to his brothers?) he figures, if he is the one stepping out then he wont have to watch his brothers die again. (that does not go as he planned)

Fox is known as being utterly fearless and is one of the most decorated soldiers in the GAR. However, Fox's closest brothers recongize that his 'fearlessness' is actually a combination of overprotectiveness and cripplingly dangerous recklessness.

Desperation along with the soul-crushing work that goes with being the commander of the guard whittled him down mentally, emotionally, and physically (along with being unknowingly brainwashed and used against his will - palps found his 'obedience' useful, and would test different contingency orders by manipulating Fox's chip or straight up using Force influence on him. Fox's body recognized that something wrong was happening to him LONG before he figured it out himself, which gave him chronic panic attacks that he hid from everyone).

*

Fox's recklessness was also in part because he just wanted things to be over. in a kind of convoluted, lengthy suicide by proxy. it's woefully easy for him to attempt it, because he has a crazy dangerous job. all he had to do was wear himself down physically and mentally by not taking care of himself. and then grudgingly wonder if a stray blaster bolt will finally end it for him.

Fox would never do it himself. Because the inclination is in direct opposition with his need to keep his brothers alive, and how can he do that if he's dead? Rationalizing it doesn't of course stop the feelings from occuring, he can't just talk himself out of being reckless and endangering his life. But it keeps him going another day when he thinks of his brothers.

only 3 of his brothers know any specifics about his suicidal tendencies (and even then Fox is an emotional brick wall so most of it they just have to gUESS and then judge their hypothesis on how guilty Fox looks when they ask). The ones who know are Wolffe and Cody (Fox's remaining batchmates) and Stone. And Stone found out simply by being observant and calling Fox out on his self care and getting more than he bargained for in response.

which is what brings me to Fox's canon death and how his reaction to Vader is quite telling of his mental and emotional state at the time. Because here is competent, decorated, fearless Fox, stammering and afraid of Vader's presence (my headcanon is his fear of Vader overrode the chip's programming a bit, because other instances in canon show post 66 clones being quite one-note and Fox's reaction is an exeption along with Grey). But Fox had, after years, finally made a mistake and took that fatal misstep. But maybe it just wasnt an accident.

Headcanon D - unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own:

If Legends existed in canon, Fox would absolutely be aware of some of the shit the Nulls and RCs got up to on Coruscant. But he finds Ordo absolutely impossible to deal with (theyre too similar so they end up hating each other on principle). he would really just rather not get into it, so he just literally turns around like "not my problem" and leaves them to it. Plausible deniability and less headaches are better for him in the long run.

Unrelated headcanon, but Fox is one of the clones that starts to go gray early almost entirely from stress (others being Ordo and Alpha-17). His brothers tease him relentlessly about it.

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[mousehole5000]

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

[yayninjabob]

A story behind a story

I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I. Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it.  Well not really the story but the story behind the story?  

A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control

How I started writing again: My relationship with my writing was non existent for years.  I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit.  I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it.  Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever.  I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh. "What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked. Ffffffuck me I dont know.  Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life.  I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it.  But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least. Anyways. January was my dads bday.  2019 and that year my dad asked for something.  Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him.  Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.   "What?  A story?  A poem?  A birthday card?" "I dont care just write me something." Typical. "I dont care."  Yeah right.  What the hell does he expect from me jeez.... My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next.   He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say.  I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea. So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure.  Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day.  I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words.  It really surprised me how easy I found those words though.  Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way.  It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol. I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer."  I figured he would appreciate that.  I gave him the story on his birthday.  He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up. And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right?  He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this.  He told me "You need to write again.   You need to try." But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway.  Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno.  I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting.  It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly.  The passion just wasnt there. After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right?  Maybe you should retell another story that you love." And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux

Part I:  Remote Control I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain.  I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears.  What. A. Trip. So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better."  I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.   Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1.  It was still in Buttercup's limited POV.  I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead.  I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.   When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy.  It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.   The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it.  I didn't think anyone would read it.  But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good.  I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving. And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed.  After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism.  The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed. A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances.  Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.   And I did!  On the first day!  And I was PUMPED lol.   Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past!  I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me.  And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further. And now I'm done with Part I.  Jeez what a freaking journey.  I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.   Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit.  But.  It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more.  And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing.  Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it. So yeah.  I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad.   I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol.  And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.   Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain.  Thanks for reading. :)

[nikvs-blog]

pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of  young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing 

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them 

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

 thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad. 

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself 

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history !  she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee ! 

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW 

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off  then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point ! 

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord  @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby ! 

[peacedolantwins]

Clean (E.D) Part 3

A/N: so this one is gonna be a bit longer just because I feel like I’m breaking it too much so here we go, also yes i threw emma in here because i need to move the plot along 

You had found a nice park a few blocks away from where the house was and seeing how cold it was, there wasnt any kids around. You really should have brought a thicker sweater. You went and sat down on the empty swings, taking a moment just to breathe in your surroundings. There was something calming about being in a park when no one else was around. When a gust of wind came by, you watched as a few of the leafs from a near by tree fell off and were added to the pile already forming on the ground.

Being around other people was something you hadnt gotten used to since you left New York. Everything was so different here in LA. It was nice having people not know about your past or what happened. Your feeling for Ethan were happening so fast and it was kind of scaring you. Last time you had felt anything close to this, you ended up making a mess of your life back home.

You had just met him, but everything just felt right. You knew he would have had to be a good person or else James wouldn’t be friends with him after all. After everything you’ve been through you knew he wouldnt bring someone like your ex around you. Maybe you could just see how things go and take it from there.

“Hey,” You were brought out of your thoughts when someone sat down at the swing next to you. Looking over, Ethan was right there, just waiting for you to say something.

“Did James send you after me?” You were kind of offended that James didnt trust you to go out on your own.

“No he didnt. It just looked like you were upset when you left and you could use someone to talk to.” He looked at you like he genuinely cared and it was so nice to see that from someone else.

“Just… moving here has been a big change for me, that’s all. I’m still adjusting I guess.” While that part was true, you weren’t going to tell him that you left to think about him and to sort out what you were feeling. As you spoke, Ethan couldnt help but take in how beautiful you looked. Your cheeks rosy from the cold, your hair swaying from the breeze. He wished he could have taken a picture because to him it really was a beautiful view.

“It might take some time. I remember when Gray and I moved here it took us a while to figure out everything.”

“Where did you move from? If you dont mind me asking,” When you turned to face him, he seemed shocked.

“You really don’t know who we are, do you?” When you shook your head, he couldnt really believe it. It had been a long time since he met someone who didn’t know what he and his brother did and it was refreshing. There was no already formed picture of him in your head that he had to live up to. He was getting to start new with someone.

“We make videos, like James just not with makeup.”

“Oh,” you didn’t think James was going to introduce you to those friends. You knew he had a few youtube friends but you never thought you would meet them. You were just a friend from home afterall.

“Well, that’s cool, but you never did answer my question.” While it was nice knowing they were influencers as well, you still wanted to know more about him.

“What?” He thought you would have asked more about what he did. It seemed almost like you didnt care about that side of him, but rather wanted to get to know him for him.

“Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, we moved about three years ago,”

“Three years ago? How old were you? Arent you younger than James?” If you remembered anything James told you about the boys it was they were younger than both of you.

“We left when we were fifteen and-”

“Oh my god that’s so young! I thought James left early but damn thats really young, wow.” You couldn’t believe they had been on their own for so long. Well, it wasnt that long, but knowing they were so young was crazy to you.

“My turn.” He turned to you even more.

“Sorry?”

“You asked me a question, so I wanna ask you a question.” You didnt know about this. As long as nothing came up from your past you would be fine. That wasn’t something you were ready to talk about with someone you just met, no matter how they made you feel.

“Okay, go for it,”

“Why did you move out here?” He looked curious, you werent about to be completely honest but you didnt want to lie to him either.

“Home just wasn’t home for me anymore.” He could tell you didn’t want to talk about it any further than that so he left it at that. He just met you and he didnt want to push you away. You two sat in silence for a few minutes before he noticed you were shivering. Getting up, he took off his coat and held it out for you.

“No, its okay, I’m fine.” You shook your head and did your best to stop your shivering.

“No offense, but youre not exactly a good liar.” If only you knew, you thought to yourself. “Just take it,” Getting up from the swing you reached out for it, only for him to hold it open so he could help you put it on. As you turned around, you felt his hand caress the back of your neck and you felt shivers go down your spine and you knew it wasnt from the cold. Once it was on, he couldnt help but smile at seeing how cozy you looked and he would be lying if he said that seeing you in his clothes had no effect on him.

“Do you want to go and maybe get some coffee or something?” While the two of you seemed to be enjoying each others presence, he didnt know if you would want to actually go somewhere else with him.

“I didn’t bring my wallet with me or anything-”

“My treat,” He could care less about paying for you. He just didn’t want to go back to the house with everyone else just yet. When you nodded your head, he began to walk back the way you came but you were suprised when he stopped by the curb. You saw him take some keys out of his pocket and you looked where you are only to find yourself next to a white jeep. He moved closer to it and opened up the door for you. You hadn’t even heard a car before he got there.

“Thank you,” You blushed and got in. As he closed the door behind you, you hoped the cold would make your blush blend in.

Rather than taking you to some starbucks like you had expected, he took you to a rather small coffee shop that had a very homey feel to it. There wasnt that many people in there and it took you by surprise when he took your hand in his and lead you to one of the back tables away from the door. After asking what you wanted, he left to go order your drinks leaving you thinking about what was happening. What was happening? You just met this guy, he built you a dresser, gave you his jacket and is now currently buying you a coffee.

When he came back, he slid your drink over to you and watched with a smile as you grabbed the mug to warm up your hands. He just met you and he already liked taking care of you. For a few minutes you two just sat together enjoying each others company. Just as he was about to tell you something, this girl came up to the table.

“I’m so sorry, I know you don’t like being bothered when youre eating but could I get a picture please?” This poor girl looked like she was scared he might actually say no.

“Sure, of course.”

“Do you want me to take it for you?” You asked her. While you still didn’t know much about what Ethan did with his brother, but apparently enough people knew about them to be asking for pictures. You thought it was kinda sweet.

“Yes please,” she handed her phone to you and both of you stood up from the table so you could take the picture. Once you finished, you handed it back to her and she thanked you both before leaving.

“You know you probably just made that girls entire week right? She looked so excited to meet you,” While you had been happy for this girl, Ethan seemed somewhat closed off.

“Hey, whats wrong?” Did you do something wrong?

“Nothing, just- are you almost done so we can go?” He kept looking around and wasnt really looking at you anymore. After a small “yeah” from you, he stood up and was already walking towards the door. Quickly getting up you followed him out only to find him already in the car.

The car ride was quiet and tense to say the least. While you two had been in silence before, then it was nice and comforting, now it felt like you were in the car with you mom after she just finished yelling at you.  

“Ethan? Did I do something?” You asked quietly, scared of what his answer would be.

“Fuck, I shouldnt have brought you with me. Everyone is gonna see me with you now.” He exhaled while running a hand through his hair.

Okay. That hurt a bit. Maybe you had been reading this entire situation wrong. Just because you were used to shitty guys, you shouldnt have assumed the first guy to treat you nicely had a thing for you. Feeling completely stupid and embarrassed you turned away to the window.

“Wait, I didnt mean it like that-” He tried to correct himself once he realized how bad that came out. But it was too late. You had just arrived back at the house and you were already out of the car before it was even completely parked. In his rush to catch up with you, he failed to notice the other car in the driveway that wasnt there when he left. You were already back inside looking for James, not noticing there was someone else in the house.

“James, give me my wallet. Now. Please.” He rushed to get up and get it from his room. He’s seen you upset and knew this was how you were when you were hurt. Coming back downstairs, he noticed you were now in Ethans jacket and couldnt help but smile. He gave it over to you and watched as you angrily took out some cash.

“Here. Give this back to your brother and tell him thanks for the coffee.” You shoved off the jacket and threw it at Grayson along with the money. You knew it wasnt his fault and you shouldnt have been rude to him, but you were upset.

“What did Ethan do? Ive been trying to call him but he wasnt picking up.” You heard a voice behind you that you didnt recognize. There was now a girl in the house that wasnt there before. Why couldnt James ever tell you when other people were coming over?

“Emma? I texted you I would go over later-” Ethan finally caught up with you and cut himself off when he saw you were also in the room.

“Y/N, let me explain-” You shook your head and kept your gaze down, not wanting anyone to see the tears beginning to form. You ran into your room and shut the door behind you. How could you actually think a guy that nice would like you? Ian and James shared a look, the younger brother following you up to your room to check on you. While he didnt know what was happening, he could tell you were upset and struggling.

“Dude, what did you do?” Grayson was confused. You two were gone for awhile and seeing you come back in his brothers jacket made him think that maybe the feelings his brother had were mutual. However, you barging into the house, throwing said jacket at him and refusing to look at him made him think something went wrong.

“I sort of said we shouldnt have been seen in public together..” He knew how much of an asshole it made him sound. But he didnt mean it like that. He still didnt know much about you but he knew once the fans found out he was with someone things would go downhill.

“YOU SAID WHAT?” James yelled from his spot on the couch. Both boys flinched at the sudden loudness and heard a crash from upstairs. Ethan moved to go upstairs and check on you, not knowing what happened but he was blocked by James.

“Oh no. You’ve done enough, thanks.”

“I didnt mean it come out like that, I swear! We were just out and someone came up for a picture and I dont know how long they were there before, okay? If they took pictures then theres going to be even more rumors going around. Emma and I cant even go out somewhere without Gray and people just assume we’re dating. You see how much hate Emma gets for being around us, I just didnt want that happening to her. I actually like her, like a lot. No offense, but Emma can take the hate, shes used to it and doesnt care at this point, but still I dont want her dealing with that. Theyre probably going to find out everything about her and she’s going to lose all privacy she had just because they saw her with me.”

James softened after Ethan finished explaining. He understood where he was coming from but it definitely could have been handled better. It also didnt help that you got hurt so easily after everything that has happened. He was about to speak again, when he saw you rush through the front door again, Ian following you down the stairs. Ian held up your wallet for James to see that you didnt take it with you, knowing James still had your keys.

“Where is she going? Is she okay?” About to follow you, once again, Ethan moved from his spot towards the door. Ian was quick to grab him the arm a little rougher than necessary and stopped him.

“That’s not a good idea, she needs to be alone right now.” While he did consider Ethan a friend, you were like a sister to him and knowing that Ethan was the reason you got set off upset him. Both Ian and James knew where you were going and knew you needed a moment so they werent worried.

The twins and Emma were still confused but chose to leave it. They knew how loyal James and Ian could be with those they cared about and knew they wouldnt be getting any more information out of either of them. Ethan, however still had another question.

“Emma, what are you even doing here?” He turned back to face her. He also barely realized that you hearing him tell her he would be going over tonight didnt help the situation.

“Well neither of you were answering your phone so I texted James and he said to just come over. I wanted to talk about the video for today before we actually film it. And I kinda wanted to meet her, James had told me she finally moved in and I thought it could be nice having another girl around.” While she did feel a little bit bad that her being there made the situation worse, it wasn’t her fault.

“You can meet her another time, but I think its better if you all leave right now. Not trying to kick you out, but this is her house too and she should be able to come home not worrying about having to deal with something she doesnt want to.” James wanted this day to be over. Things had been going so well with everyone and now he was just exhausted.

A few hours later you came back to a quiet house. The jeep and other car were missing so you could only assume everyone else left already. You knew James would want to talk about what happened today so you went to get changed. If you were going to be getting emotional you would rather do it in some sweatpants rather than skinny jeans you could hardly move in. Once you changed, you headed over to James room.

“Let’s talk, kitty. What happened?” He moved over so you could get under the blankets with him. You two had always been close before the move and nothing had changed.

“I dont know. I just, it was a bit much for one day. And I know I just met him and hes your friend, but I just thought he liked me, ya know? When we were talking alone earlier, it felt normal. It felt safe and it was nice. You know how long its been since any guy has treated me like a regular person. He gave me his jacket at the park, he even bought me a coffee and he was so sweet to this girl at the shop.” He watched as you talked about Ethan with a smile on your face.

“I dont know what happened though. Did I say something wrong? Everything was going so good between us then all of a sudden he couldnt wait to leave, he didnt even wait for me and was in the car before I got out of there. He didn’t say a single thing to me the whole ride back other than that he shouldnt have taken me with him, and that hurt. It reminded me of being back home how no guy would want to be seen with me after…. you know, and then coming back here and seeing he has a girlfriend made me feel so stupid. I should have known just because he was nice to me, that didnt mean anything it just meant he wasnt an asshole.” You signed and laid down next to your best friend. It felt nice getting it all out.

“Not that I dont trust you babe, but you didnt-”

“No, no, god no. I promised I wouldnt and I’m doing better, I really am. I just met up with someone to talk and make sure everything stayed on track for me. I would have told you if I did.” You didn’t want to worry your friend about that. You made a promise when he let you move in with him and you werent about to break it.

“Okay, good. I, we, worry about you sometimes.” He moved closer to you and thats how you ended up with your head basically on his lap. “Can I tell you something?” You nodded your head as he played with your hair.

“He does like you, you know. Ethan is, mmm not good, with expressing his emotions that well. He’s doing his best. And he and Emma aren’t dating by the way. Just friends, theyre too similar. If they were left alone for too long they would annoy each other to death. And he told me about what he said and babe, he didnt mean it like that. It sounded bad yes, but he meant well.” Sitting up, you leaned on your arm to look at James as he spoke.

“So him and Grayson have a pretty big fan base. Theyre used to the attention and sadly the lack of privacy. Theyre used to people taking sneaky pictures of them and when those pictures get out people like to start rumors. Everyone literally thinks he’s been dating Emma in secret for the past few months because they went shopping together and someone took a picture of them. Since then, Emma has gotten so much hate from their fans saying horrible things about her. All over a few pictures. Emma literally does not care about it, but he just didnt want that happening to you. It’s made him a little paranoid. He didnt want pictures of you two together getting out and people saying things about you because he cares about you. I dont know why, considering youre so annoying and forced him make your furniture.”

“Shut up! You’re the one invited them without telling me,” you smacked his arm, satisfied when he let out a small “ow.”

“Really though, you should talk to him. Or let him talk to you because I dont know what went on when you two were alone, but that boy is gone. He was ready to follow you out that door again when you left. And let me tell you sister, when you’ve got one of the Dolan’s after you, you dont pass down that opportunity. If he was coming after me, I would gladly let him-”

“And I’m gonna stop you right there sis, I get the picture. Thanks for putting that in my head.” You cringed and shook your head to get that image out of your head.

“I’m just saying-”

“No, nope I get it. Good talk James, I’m glad we get to share these special moments together but thats enough for the day.” Laughing, you got out of the bed and started to make your way back to your room. Just as you reached the door, you stopped and turned around.

“James?” He looked up for you to continue.

“Could you give me his number?”

A/N: part 4 will be out soon... any ideas on what shes hiding?

[paper-mario-wiki]

had a dream that there was a massive draft-like gathering of 17 to 25 year olds because the government recently discovered the existence of super powers and everyone was put through REALLY intense, borderline inhumane training to discover those powers. the training was so crazy, in fact, that straight up dying was common. and it was also pretty prison-like. like, everyone slept on the ground in long-ass hallways and there was a designated eating time and sleeping time and stuff. and during free time we were allowed onto this courtyard where there were a BUNCH of ways that you could die without explanation. like, youre walking through the shallow part of a little lake and suddenly youre killed by a big mechanical amr that comes out and pulls you under

or you wander a little too far from the main area and a gigantic bus monster flies up into the sky from somewhere outside the gated area and comes down and crushes you to death

there was this one white haired girl who was very much that kind of brooding, cold-on-the-outside girl who you KNOW is going to be plot significant, her superpowers, flight and teleportation, were awakened really early on so she had a really heavy advantage over everyone else and she was treated way better. she took a liking to me for some reason and everyone kinda bullied me for it because they were jealous or they just liked taking any reason to bully. it turns out she and i were two super powers that went well together. my super power turned out to be healing with these weird huge saucer things that were always upright 0 shapes. her teleporting was through these worm holes that were always parallel to the ground and were basically just the worm holes that legendary pokemon came out of in the ruby and sapphire pokemon remakes. when the two intersected, though, they were able to form super worm holes that could be used to transport anything anywhere in the universe and she was interested in using that to escape since there was a barrier around the school stopping her from flying away or teleporting anywhere off-site

there was this gang of sorta like boy scouts with the building mentality of the kids next door. they were allowed outside the gate of the site to build in the abandoned town surrounding it. they were real nice too. they didnt go out of their way to help anyone but they were friendly. it turns out that anyone who was able to discover their base was allowed to join. to enter the base you had to do this complicated entry procedure in the town. first you had to find something human-like. then you had to put it in some kind of working vehicle. then you had to drive the vehicle into the gate back to the courtyard where everyone was allowed to spend free time. that would trigger the big bus monster i talked about from before which, as it turns out, guards their base and resides in a hole in the floor of a broken down mansion. once it flies out of the hole to attack the car, you jump into the hole using a skateboard and you fall into the arrival area of their base, which was basically a high school gymnasium but it was dimly lit and tinted red from some unknown light source. from there you could walk around and explore their base and their contraptions and stuff. once i found that out, the white haired girl found out too and it became a hang-out place for all of us, including the gang of boyscout dudes.

after a while it turned out the girl had a crush on me and started getting really jealous that i was hanging out with other people and so she would use her resources to direct basically all of my free time to be spent with her instead. there was this really cute scene where i found out she had been hanging up little drawings up near the top of the secret base's welcome area that nobody could see because she was the only one that could fly, but i was able to get up there and it turned out they were all drawings of things i liked, like my favorite food and music and video games and stuff.

at the end of the dream the secret base was invaded by a bunch of the authority figures of the prison-camp-school-government-place, and they took one of my friends, someone who i slept next to in the hallways, hostage at gunpoint. they said we had to sacrafice one of ourselves or else he would be shot. i shot myself in the leg and fell out of one of the rafters and that shocked them and basically put them in a video-game-type "stunned" state, which i was able to use to kill them and free my friend.

all of this stuff happened out of the order i described it in but it was one of the longest, most vivid dreams ive ever had. like, it felt like a couple of weeks and it played out in what felt like real time. kinda bummed that it wasnt real cuz it was cool as fuck. o well. good morning

[missjackil]

My 14x11 Opinion

Damaged Goods

I have so many feelings about this episode!! Its been the hardest one to wait for all season because we were teased all week about this mysterious hug!! I am trash for brohugs, I wont even lie. Any episode that includes a brohug gets bonus points from me!! But what was different about this brohug than others? It was a slip in from behind hug that Sam wasnt expecting. Gentle, and cautious, yet full off angst and despiration. 

The scene was set in a way that assured me this episode would be emotional. The library dimly lit while Sam while Sam researches for ways to help Dean. Dean wont even answer the question when Sam asks how hes feeling. Dean just doesnt want to talk about this. He makes it known though that he appreciates the effort Sam has been putting into trying to help, and Sam responds, “of course... always” . He’s not looking for praise or appreciation, its just something he is gonna do. He’s gona help Dean. Thats all. To him its like getting up in the morning and going to the bathroom. It doesnt matter what else is going on in the world, this is what’s gonna happen.now.Deans in trouble. Sam is gonna help.

Dean tells Sam he’s going to go spend time with Mom, Sam is gonna get packed up and go too but Dean wants to go alone. Sam looks hurt. This isnt surprizing. As much as Sam doesnt need to be, as we all know, he still gets insecure with his ploace in Dean’s world and he doesnt like to be left behind for anyone, even Mom. but in the traditional character of Sam Winchester, he isnt going to make a fuss, he’ll swallow it up and let Dean go if he feels he needs it. Dean isnt cold, nor blind to this. He wont tell Sam its a farewell tour, but he needs Sam to know hes loved. So he just comes around behind him and holds Sam’s head to his chest and face, and tells him to take care of himself. As sweet as this was, did Dean really think it wouldnt sound every alarm in Sam’s head? However, this hug will go down in my heart as a classic. One thing I love most about the brohugs, is that J2 deliver a fresh one every time that say their own things. Theyre never cheap, never lacking a message, and always packed with feeling. 

Sam was pretty adorable when he tried to tell mom about the hug.I know he said they dont hug unless its literally the end of the world. but how was he really gonna tell him mom that they hug for many reasons, but this one was very different? Im sure she understands that theyre close, but does she even have a clue at how close and co-dependant they are? I dont think so. Sam gives her fair warning, and shes gonna keep an eye on Dean. 

Meanwhile, Nick is being a dick, and has a run in with Donna. Now I know many of you all dont like Donna and Jody, mainly for the Wayward crap, but I still like THEM, I just hate that story. I really like this new, tougher Donna that came to be last season in Breakdown. The bubbly silly blonde from The Purge and Hibbing 911 got on my nerves and served no purpose but comic releif. I cant stand those characters. Thats why I dont like Garth, and never liked Ghost Facers, because all they did was assure that the episode wouldnt get very serious.But lets move on. 

Mary makes Dean something he loved as a kid, Winchester Surprize. This is the first time we heard of this dish, and I would call “bullshit” on Deans ability to remember something like that from being no older than 4 the last time she made it, had he not mentioned how Dad apparently made it also, but when he and Sam tried, they messed it up and Dad got pissed and tossed it out. Dean laughed about it, but Mom was uncomfortable, and so was I. Im not a John hater as y’all know, so new negative information makes me sad. I guess before John comes back in 2 weeks, Mary will need to know that he changed a lot after she died and wasnt the greatest father to the boys.And to assure us that the reuinion wont be all rainbows and butterflies. There’s gonna be some angst.

Now Im gonna talk about how HOT Dean was while welding. the flipping of the face shield. the sparks flying around his feet, the leather apron.... mmmm Magic Mike moment y’all?? It was a great music montage, something we dont get a lot of. No Time Left For You is a good song, and for any of my readers under 40, that was an 8 track tape Dean was playing.😉 we also see that Michael is still pounding on the door in Deans head. Jensen is really doing a great job of showing us in his expressions and posture that he’s barely holding him in.

Now Sam has looked around the bunker and noticed things missing. Okay... Dean is definitely up to something. Mary waited till Dean was asleep and went to see what he was doing in the shed, she sees he’s built this box with the plan to lock himself in it and be dropped at the bottom of the ocean so Michael cant escape the box once he gets out of Deans head. Mom calls Sam, but he’s already on his way. and during this time Nick kidnaps Mary. 

Now, I think Mary was just being stupid for most of this, she had no reason really not to comply with Nick. Theres a time to be tough and a time to just be practical. A big part of being a hero includes not trying to get yourself killed for no good reason. But hey, its ok because your sons are fucking suoer heros and they’ll come save your ass! So Abraxus gets released and reveals Lucifer had him kill Ncks family. This leaves me with wonder. Will Lucifer come find Nick but Nick say no to him now that he knows Lucifer had his family killed? Leaving Luci without a vessel and heading to mess with Sam again? Possibly even Jack? Hmmmm

So Donna shoots Nick in the leg, he’s arrested. Sam goes to talk to him. I didnt like that Dean bitched at Sam for letting Nick go, though Im glad Sam got to tell him why. though he’s feeling guilty about everything that happened now. Im also pretty sure that Dean was telling Sam when people cant be saved, you just walk away, more for himself than anything. So Dean barked, but he didnt stay angry and thats good. 

Sam confronts Nick and apologizes for not being able to help him which is so very Sam, but, my boy is getting harder around the edges, he’s really 1000% done with the bull shit. He tells Nick he doesnt feel sorry for him, he feels sorry for the people he killed, HE can burn. 

Meanwhle mom confronts Dean and tells him he knows what hes up to... and if he doesnt tell Sam, she will. Im so glad it didnt become some secret between Dean and Mom being kept from Sam. That never ends pretty. 

Now, this scene, is my favorite scene so far of the season. Sam just not holding back at how horrible he thinks it was for Dean to plan to kill himself and not tell him. “Not tell me?? ME??” Do you realize how messed up that is? How unfair??” it took me back to when Dean sold his soul for Sam and Sam figured it out. Sam knows first hand how awful being trapped forever with a crazy archangel. You could see it in Sam’s eyes when he said it, he knew what Dean would be up against for eternity. “Do you know how INSANE this is?”

Dean is set in his choice and tells Sam he couldnt tell him because hes the only person who could talk him out of it💖💖and he loves hm for trying to help. Thats a very big statement in this show. So he gives Sam a choice, either he helps him, or he does it alone. Of curse Sam agrees to help. He cant save Dean if he walks away, and he wont let Dean die alone 💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭

Thats gonna kill me all week!! Next weeks trailer looks like a real kick in the balls, but, Im fairly sure the brutality will be over early in the episode because Donatello’s issue is the headliner. Its hard to see Dean freak out when his phone dies when hes in the box, but Im thinking maybe he’s testing it and gets a dose of what being trapped feels like, and maybe that changes his mind. So I dont think the whole episode is going to be super heavy, but we’ll have some good brofeels anyway. In conclusion I loved this episode. It could have used more Sam but Sams parts were all great! So on a scale of Bloodlines to Who We Are, this gets a 9. the heavy brolove got it massive points and more Sam COULD have taken it to a 10. See y’all next week :)

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Pink Diamond And Why You are Objectively Wrong

Why anti pink diamond naysayers are wrong under the cut

The problem is that all the negative propaganda i’ve seen about Rose (yall should stop Dead-naming her probably) is that its all based on nothing.

Evidence doesnt matter only wild speculation? You want a character to be bad so thats all you see

the apparent philosophy is that Rose should have used her authority to try to stop the colonization. The problem is that there was no evidence she didnt. People spent WEEKS talking about it. We dont know jack squat about homeworld other than what the Crystal Gems have told Steven, what we saw in the Trial and what we’ve heard Peridot say. There was no reason after we found that out to think that “Pink Diamond” DIDNT do everything she could. People made the Assumption and went about that.

Expecting a single person to completely overthrow society is nuts but not as nuts as assuming people are bad until proven otherwise

Yet after learning she did some people still arent satisfied. Saying that she should have openly rebelled....Despite NO evidence that could ever work.

See we dont know anything really about gem society, we dont know how diamond Authority works, how the armies are structured, how Big the empire is. We dont KNOW. But instead of deciding to give the benefit of the doubt, they are deciding to assume the worst. Thats a choice and a baseless one at that.

Thats just...not how people work. Most people are good. even people supporting horrible things can be good, and their problem is that they’ve been misled by misinformation, by propoganda, were raised wrong.

You give people the benefit of the doubt, and only stop when they have PROVEN to not show any progress and no intention of ever trying to change.

The problem is we DO know some things. 

Its safe to assume that in a kids show that good people are good even if they make mistakes even bad ones

We know that Rebecca Sugar is allegedly a good person, as are the developers of the show. We know that its a cartoon show meant for kids, and so its suppose to have a positive message.

So in the light of a lack of information one would assume that since Rose is a GOOD character that she tried everything she could think of.

Just ask Princess Leia why a single woman cant save the galaxy

And we DO have info on why an open rebellion wouldnt work.  We DO know that their empire is galactic, that hundreds of worlds of gems are out there, that its pretty easy for even a fusion like Alexandrite to be outclassed by a mere two gems, that they have weapons to destabalize the forms of gems. We DO know they have instantaneous transportation (Galactic Warps). We have every reason and mountains of evidence that a full galactic war with Earth would have been won easily by homeworld.

We DO know that any gem seen as ‘unfit’ whether they came out wrong or not doing their job has a high chance of being shattered and harvested (i’.e. broken, and their life sucked out killing them. because remember shattering isnt killing its shattering. HARVESTING would kill a gem).

With these two important pieces of information we can make the SAFE assumption with no wild mass guessing that any Open war with homeworld that resulted in the full brunt of Homeworlds military power would have easily  overpowered the gems. That the colonization which based on We’re all falling apart, happens with minimal interaction from a Diamond, would have continued, all life including the ancestors of the current 8 billion humans would have been killed. And every gem on the planet, whether a loyalist, P.D.’s army or Crystal gem would have been murdered and their bodies used to fuel Loyal gems.

“but Pink Diamond could have fought till the end, used her army...”

Could she? where is the evidence. She wanted to stop the gem way of life, stop the colony and the other Diamonds just thought she was being lazy. She didnt want to kill human cities and the Diamonds thought she was just lazy. Gems like Peridot or Agate’s dont even doubt their way of life and understand what any other is. they are sheltered to the point they dont know what weather is. If P.D. gave the order to stop colonization would her armies just laugh at her saying “oh those Diamonds are so funny!”? We know from that same episode that Diamonds dont even interact with the troops, she was expected to not even step foot on earth. allegedly spending the last thousand years stuck on the moon base giving commands through a computer. So we can assume that colonization is fairly automated with gems knowing what their general purpose is, obeying the next higher up with Diamonds being mostly a figure head answering questions that confuse their underlings like “do we go ahead and murder all these people?” or what structures to build.

If open war did start and she actually  fought homeworld from earth....does she even have any space ships? she had 1 kindergarden worth of Amethysts vs  the entire homeworlds. is 100,000 to 1 good odds?

“well maybe the entirety of the Army wouldnt be brought to bare”.

THERE ARE LITERALLY ONLY 4 PEOPLE IN THE GALAXY WHOS LIFE MATTERS AND 1 OF THEM REBELS AND YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO JUST LET HER?

A DIAMOND, the ONLY entity in homeworld whos life is valued? Openly rebelling against gem society? You dont think that would have got their attention? we saw from the other episodes that they see her as a stupid lazy child whos SUPPOSE to be a galactic commander. They didnt listen to her because they thought she needed to learn how to completely obliterate a planet on her own like a Diamond is suppose to. They’ve repeatedly shown that not only do they not value organic life they dont value any life but a diamonds. The concept of destroying their way of life to protect some easily  harvested gems and easily squished bloody pulps of humanoids  would be seen as some weird crazy idiot thing the Kid Diamond was doing. From the Evidence of the well documented lack of care for life we know homeworld has, and the Evidence of how the Diamonds view P.D. we can extrapolate that they might do something like Either blow up Earth and “start over” but maybe with supervision, or just automate the construction and “ground’ P.D. while she got reeducated and given another colony in a few thousand years..

BUT DESPITE ALL THIS EVIDENCE WE STILL DONT KNOW BECAUSE WE BARELY KNOW JACK SQUAT ABOUT GEM SOCIETY

so we dont know For sure if all this evidence points to the proper conclusion. My point is that we Dont know what could have happened and what options they had, but we DO know the tone of the show, intent of the author so its safe to say even if Rose didnt magically know the perfect way to rebel that she tried everything she could think of. saying she should have done this or done that is like saying “X war would have ended sooner if the allies had just magically known that these bases up here were working off a skeleton crew and a blitzkrieg would have easily broken through to the capital”

So yes if We Dont know the Details, but you Still Assume the Worst, then Its Your Own Fault and has nothing to do with the story. I saw someone post about how we got a non reaction from Greg...but...why would we? Rose was  a hero, it doesnt matter to him if in some war that took place a thousand year before his greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandparents were born the rebel leader USED to be one of the homeworld leaders.

the reason this person was mad was because they extrapolated despite no evidence that P.D. did something wrong, because Allegedly (based on no evidence) she could have rebelled in a better way (using “Baby’s First Rebellion handbook, no doubt”).  OF COURSE GREG DIDNT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, he already knew she fought a war to save earth and she won and Earth is saved. The outrage over this is artificial, fake and has no basis in fact!

So yes like i said twice already we dont have all the details and its wrong to assume the worst....

EXCEPT

We do have SOME Details, and not the ones i just listed. We have evidence that what Rose did was good because of what happened.

We DONT know if more gems could be saved, we DONT know if the war could have been ended early, we DONT know whether or not open war would have worked.

But we DO know She wanted to scare the gems off first, she wanted to save earth without a SINGLE person getting hurt, not one human, not one gem. Yes its apparently traumatic to get Poofed otherwise Saphire wouldnt have refered to it as a sacrifice, however we know its ultimately Harmless. Obviously Roses plan was to make the Colony not worth it. But because the Diamonds are shitty people and thought Pink was just being lazy it didnt work and so things had to escalate

We ALSO know that Blue Diamond arrived to oversee the end of the rebellion. Seeing as Pink wasnt even allowed to go onto her own planet it seems safe to assume troop deployment was based on Blues command, so peoples conspiracy that Pink sent out her own troops to fight the crystal gems is baseless with evidence against.

There isnt enough information to know whether P.D.’s plan was a sound one but we KNOW that P.D. was the closest to the other diamonds, if they didnt show enough love to Pink to convince her she mattered it was the Diamonds Fault not Pinks, for not picking up love where none existed. And we can assume based on her characterization that if she knew that the Diamonds would retaliate with evil in their hearts, rather than just leave out of disappointment, she WOULDNT have done that. Again blame the person who fires the bullet, not the person who denied the gunman’s feelings. stop blaming the victim.

And we DO know that Earth was saved. As i said i think there is a high possiblity Earth would be obliterated if Pink rebelled. Essentially the child doesnt want to shoot their dog, so the parents do it for them. But we DONT know. But we DO know that Rose’s decision lead to saving literally billions of lives.

And we DO know that not a single gem life was lost. yes its tragic that many gems were corrupted, but we know based on centipeedle they can be made to be happy and are in peace in their bubbles till they can be cured,  And despite thousands of years of torture, the gem shards are now at piece, and may be able to live a fulfilling life in the future as a fusion. We know based on all evidence that a broken gem is still alive, just disoriented from having its body not attatched. So the only lives lost were whatever humans fought for their freedom, and a few thousand gems were critically injured. I’d say a few thousand casualties is a small price to pay in any war.

We DO know that the Crystal Gems legitimately thought they were safe on earth, thought all dead, As we learned in “alternate ending” that Rose didnt even WANT steven she just wanted to have a child and have them grow up. No magical gem destiny. We DO know that Earth is safe and in good hands. And there is a possibility that even all the gems who were shattered may one day be happy again.

We DONT know what could have happened if Pink openly rebelled. But the only way to be ‘better” is things lead to a few more crystal gems being unshattered. but it also might have meant millions dead.

We DO know that her decision worked out for the best. Stevens happy, Gregs, happy, Pearl is happy, Garnet is happy, Peridot is Happy, offcolors can migrate to earth, corrupted gems can achieve happyness despite their disability, and shattered gems can find piece

So Stop going out of your way to ruin this for yourselves and being angry

[kooksrae]

dang rmb when i said full thoughts coming soon,,, smh,,, life has happened. had a lot of shifts from work ?! and injured myself so i rly wasnt up for much but WE MOVE ON 🤩😎

ANW FULL THOUGHTS R HERE 🤟 (also yes there are some spoilers i guess?? idk and also im on my phone i cant add in that read more button ahevwkaj)

first of all let's talk about y/n 💅 girlie is ms relatable or wtv. i feel like i be truly seeing a version of me that i can relate to almost 100% (in terms of the way she is,,, not about how she is a woman 👩 in STEM!! which is major slay 🫶 of her but i for one am NOT ❌ a women in STEM). the way she prioritises her family and somewhat struggles with saying out those touchy touchy feelys kinda vibe 😍 although girlie has no problem showing her dislike for mr jk at the beginning 🤡 but i truly enjoyed being able to relate so much to y/n in this story. usually in fics im able to relate to parts of the y/n character but this was just truly chef's kiss 🧑‍🍳😘

okay let's talk about jk 🤟 boi just wants to be loved by all ! portrayal of jk as someone who somewhat seeks being liked by all is something that i can kinda see ?! and it's kinda amusing to see how much he desires a friendship n to just be liked by y/n 🥺 (not that we shld be seeking validation frm everyone arnd us but it's kinda funny here!!) the way he connects with all the characters truly shows what kind of a person he is! and the way he is so quick to connect w baby boy 🥰 something so fatherly about it and yet so childlike !! u can really see how the relationships that he has w those around him really reflects who he is in this story!! which i did enjoy seeing hehe

i wld like to think that the other characters had enough of a part in the story !! everyone had their time to shine ✨ n twas cute to imagine them all working in the hospital (giving me mad hospital playlist vibes 🏥🎵) the casual grey's anatomy reference was made me teehee 🤭 cant remember the last time i even caught up with that show

OVERALL ! so wholesome to see love bloom 😍 i think the moment they lowkey started to really catch feelings things were mOVING ALONG SO FAST 💨 it was lowkey highkey kinda intense 😮‍💨 i must say though i am truly a BIG FAN of cheesy lines that are kinda cringe 😬 but also makes all the butterflies in your tummy 🦋 kinda thing (when jk typed anyth for u, my heart ❤️🫶expanded to the size of the universe i kid u not) it was super refreshing to see this fic and idk if it's just me but when i read fics with DOCTORS in it i alw presume the doctors to be in their late 20s or early 30s just because med school is long n wtv,,, n bcs of that i think it affects my thought process when im reading ! i dont think it's as crazy as before but i know that many of us continue to have all this pressure to have life kind of figured out by a certain age but here we see them still trying to navigate life and love despite work and all the other responsibilities that they have which is major #RelatableMoment and i know that this isnt the main point of it but it was just something small that i took away from it keke! i know i m eXTREMELY off point right now but also it is 3.23 in the morning so goodnight all 🤟 btw i lov u kimi for this <3

-rae 🫶

left on read // jjk

it’s a good day to save lives and a beautiful day to ruin his.

+ 

as surgeons, who has time for friends or love? at all costs, jungkook is determined to prove otherwise.

navi | m. list | ask me ! | add yourself to my taglist !

pairing: jungkook + oc

au/genre: enemies to friends to lovers?? hospital au, crack, grumpy/overachiever oc, social butterfly/annoying jungkook!!!

warnings: an unhealthy amount of needing the validation of others, competitive dynamics, and explicit language

parts: 30 / 30 (02/14/22)

note: tbh this fic was planned before casual (ToT)” it’s ok. we’re here now kekeke. pls enj this series! + welcome back to my sad attempt of consistent updates !!! 

Keep reading

[duyxjpg]

No. 7 |pt.1|  [JK FF]

Hello my cotton candies~ here I am back with a brand new Jungkook story idea~ It going to be a College student!Jungkook AU’ish. I will try to make you guys laugh and show you how basic actions can lead someone into so much bigger situations and maybe even into something beautiful.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  Feel free to comment and let me know what you think ♥ I love you you guys ♥ ENJOOY~~

If two people are meant to be together, they will find each other, no matter what. 

Summary: One day a stranger knocks on your door and before you even know you two become partners in crime. 

“How can I help you?” I asked the stranger in front of my apartment, who just knocked at my door. I watched him with lazy eyes. He was tall, at least two heads taller than me. He had a boyish charm. He was wearing a white shirt and a light denim jeans and two pair of puma shoes. He couldn’t be the post man for sure. 

“I think I made a mistake and I need to fix it.” he responded looking a bit nervous. I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what he was talking about. And it was too early to think.

“I don’t understand.” I said as I leaned on my door frame. What was he talking about I thought. He looked at me and then he went inside my smoll apartment without even asking. This was a bit to unexpected I thought. How could he just enter my house without even asking. RUDE.

“Excuse me bitch what dafaq are you doing?” I scolded him. He sat on my couch and looked around. I was about to call the security but he finally started talking.

“Look I know it is a shitty situation but you and I, we have the same bag and I thought yours was mine and I put a very important folder into your bag and I need it immediately.” he explained, looking around, he was talking to me but he wasn’t looking at me, could he get any ruder I guessed? He was searching for my bag. What I noticed was that he had a soothing and a calming voice even if he was rude. I didn’t know why but I trusted him.

“Okay wait let me get my bag.” I responded as I walked chilled over my wardrobe and took my bag. I sat down beside him and opened my bag. There was a black folder, which I guessed it was his.

“Here I think you are searching for this one.” I questioned him as I took out the black folder and handed it over him. He immediately smiled at me and opened the folder to make sure it was his folder he was searching for. I patiently waited for him to confirm that it was his, I had a class soon and I didn’t want to show up late. In university it was a common thing that you would lose your stuff or put it somewhere else so that’s why I was so understanding towards this cute but rude stranger.

“I don’t think it is mine.” He glanced at me with a hint of worry in his eyes. “I didn’t write about Romeo and Julia.” he continued to talk. It was my work for my English literature class. If my folder was still in my bag than I gave his folder to my evil professor. Oh my god. I was dead meat, he was not a professor he would accept such an incident like this. He won’t let me pass his class.

“I am going to kill you, you freaking stranger!” I hissed at him. I stood up from my seat and glanced over him. He was confused, he didn’t know what I was taking about.

“I gave your folders to my evil professor. He won’t let me pass his class. It’s all your fault.” I explained as I face palmed myself. His eyes went far open. I have to admit it he looked cute, I would have laughed at his expression wouldn’t it be a serious situation.

“Oh my god. I think our problem is bigger than just failing your class.” he gulped. It was time for me to be confused.

“ What was in that folder? Why do we have more problems than failing my class?” I snapped at him. He looked like he was out of words. I was getting crazy. I didn’t have a good feeling about this at all.

“Something no one should know about.” he said as he stood up from my couch  and went towards my door. He couldn’t leave like this, without explaining anything. I quickly went after him and hold his wrist and turned him around. He raised an eyebrow and looked down at me.

“You can’t go without explaining anything stranger!” I hissed at him as I pulled him over the center of my apartment. He looked at me fully amused. I knew he let me drag him into my room, he was much stronger than I was but he still let me move him around. I sighed.

“Explain!” I ordered him cockily as I put my hand on my waist. He sighed as well and sat down on my couch once again.

“We are in big trouble.” he stumbled over his own words. I was slowly losing my patience. I featured him to talk further.

“In this folder there were my hacker informations, which is illegal and no one should know about it and now your professor might or might not read it already and figured out that those are hacker codes. He might think you are a hacker and you can get suspended from school.” he explained and looked at me waiting for a reaction, but I felt paralyzed. This must be a bad joke I thought or I hoped but I knew it was true because he looked at me full of worry. He stood up from his seat and went towards me. “Are you okay?” he asked me as he held my shoulders with both of his hands. I couldn’t think straight. If my professor read it already I would get suspended from school. I looked at him with wide eyes as the situation hit me in the face. I couldn’t let it happen, maybe we would have a chance to get the folder back, if it wasn’t late already. I stepped back from him and started hitting him. He was shocked as hell. He didn’t expect this for sure but I was mad. He stumbled back and look at me in disbelieve and then he started to laugh. I looked at him as if he was crazy but the real crazy one was me for sure.

“I didn’t expect a smoll girl like you would hit a boy like me ” he tried to talk through his laughter. I started laughing as well. He was right but I was me and I would fight anyone at any situation. And I was sure I didn’t even hurt him, in fact I knew I wasn’t even close to hurt him. We both laughed a bit till we both looked at each other and stopped laughing. We had a big problem.

“I am assuming your professor didn’t read your work yet, if he would have read it already we wouldn’t be here laughing.” he made his point as he walked again towards my couch and sat down again. I sighed and sat down beside him as well. We needed to get those folders I thought. I could do anything to get them back.

“What is our plan?” I asked him as I turned my head at him. His deep brown eyes looked at mine and we were silent for a second. Then he smiled again and looked away.

“My name is Jungkook by the way.” he stated as he looked at me totally ignoring my question. “ At least we should know each other’s names if we are becoming partners in crime.” he continued I could see something devilish in his face. I shrugged.

“My name is Y/N.” I responded and smiled lazily at him. We sat there silently for at least 10 minutes after he started to talk again.

“I have an idea!” he smirked. As Jungkook started explaining his idea I listened to him carefully. After he explained his plan I looked at him in disbelief. He must be kidding me I thought.

Part 2 

[onlyjihoons]

demon!jihoon

a/n; very much inspired by jihoon's demonic lenses he wore here?? and this prompt!i would also like to thank @hwinkinghwi for the demonic(?) moodboard hehe,,,happy early halloween!

jihoon is one of the most cunning demons

he would actually use his ungodly looks to his advantage to get his way

almost everything his goddamn face will make people give in/compromise

sometimes he uses his evil to help kids out

like, he sees a kid being bullied at a playground or something, he would give retribution by shoving sand down the bully's shirt??

(i have no idea how demons work so please spare me)

but other than that jihoon is pretty cynical

when he disguises himself as a mortal, he looks normal, until you look at his eyes,,,

theyre a light blue

they arent even contacts, like theyre just his eye colour

people just believe his lie that those are prescription contacts LOL

jihoon is being notorious for the senior who uses his looks to get through anything and everything

but not his grades lmao

so he's two years older than the kids taking their college entrance exam

basically he just wasted 2 years of his life in school

but he just wants to live off fellow demon!seongwoo,, so he just, doesnt study and goes to school

but seongwoo found out about it,, and made sure jihoon spends his legit last year in high school or jihoon would be ugly in his next life LOL

you're a senior in high school, trying to make the best out of your dying grades

you do know jihoon, but avoid communication as you're an angel

like legit,, angel

you were an angel thanks to your mother, who was involved in the heaven

and she wanted you to live a sin-free life as much as possible

ok now back to avoiding jihoon

why avoid communication?

for a simple reason;

you had a crush on him

and the rule of thumb your mother bestowed upon you was

"you can date anyone but demons"

and you were well aware jihoon was a demon, as your halo(which was invisible to the eyes of mortals) were blinking whenever jihoon would be near you

and you just didnt like the idea of dating a handsome asshole

fun fact: jihoon used to be an angel until he was involved in the 101, which made him evil

you knew jihoon relatively well due to the fact he used to be an angel

he was your childhood friend

always protecting you and looking out for you

your crush on him developed even before he became a demon, and didnt falter even when he wasnt a angel

but the both of you grew distant as your mother would warn you not to play with fire

you were taking a media studies elective as a subject and there was a coursework you had to do

which involved acting w a partner of the opposite gender

and to your luck, jihoon was the only student in the class who took media studies

not knowing anything between the both of you, your teacher assigned the both of you as partners LOL

to make things worse, the story was

romeo and juliet

how ironic lmaoooo

meaning, you had to kiss jihoon

or rather, jihoon had to kiss you

because your teacher chose the last scene, which had the least lines, for the both of you to "ensure your distinctions"

and the both of you just had to bite the bullet and take it because you'd want to graduate from school quickly and attempt to wash the sins of kissing jihoon away by doing more good things in college

while jihoon just wanted to get this thing done and over with

you told your mom about it, she was okay with it, but she still warned you not to fall for jihoon

though, your dad is a demonxangel

its a given that you and jihoon had to stay after school to run through the script

and every time you and jihoon renact the last scene, your breath hitches in your throat and you hiccup

or on days where you just burst out laughing and accidentally spit on jihoon

he actually wasnt that mad about it because 1. he knew how hard it was to keep one's composure in a kiss scene WITH THEIR CRUSH

2. he just thought you were cute

despite jihoon not kissing you for practices

which you were thankful for or else you cant sleep at night

until,,, the day of the assesment

everything went fairly smoothly, and the dreaded kiss of life was very soon approaching you

you thought jihoon wouldnt kiss you like he did in practices

bitch you thought

he kissed you on the lips and you were trying your best not to shoot your eyes open in shock

and of course,, the kiss of life received a standing ovation from the teachers who were really impressed

because most students dont actually kiss lmao

so you had to drag jihoon aside after yhe assesment and he had that stupid smile on his face

"cant you see i like you???"

you were stunned and also happy

but you had to keep your promis to your mom

"im sorry jihoon, i cant be your girlfriend"

boy he was shocked because he was never rejected

"why?"

"because," you bit your lip, contemplating wheter to tell jihoon

"because??"

"angels and demons cant be together," was all you said before leaving jihoon hanging

you and jihoon never talked until,,, halloween

which, you decided to go as yourself to your friend's halloween party at universal studios

you wore a plain white dress,, and wore a halo headband

pretty basic and simple but you really didnt care and just tried to dress nicely

apparently her parents rented the whole theme park for a private party lol

your friend was asking why you didnt bring jihoon along as your "plus one"

and you just shrugged,

"shit happened and we arent really talking anymore"

she got the hint immediately and stopped mentioning jihoon

meanwhile, jihoon was also dressed as himself

his hair was dyed a lighter blonde and wore a v neck black button up w ripped jeans,,,,,, and wore a choker on his neck too

basically all-black and looking good as heck

when he arrived every girl turned their heads and were shookt

like he barely needed to do anything to look THAT good

"a demon" was what he replied,, but he was laughing inside as people dont know his real identity

he was just enjoying the atmosphere of halloween where people dressed up and didnt care if their make up was shit,, its halloween anyway

he was just chilling and walking around w fellow demon!baejin when he saw someone carrying a girl in a white dress,,,

and that girl in a white dress seemed too familiar...

that when it clicked and he had to abandon baejin to save you

when he stopped the figure holding you, he ripped off its mask and revealed someone he wouldnt expect

lai guanlin

"guanlin, what are you doing?"

"i..i can explain--"

"explain what? drugging y/n and bringing her somewhere to hurt her?!" 

at this point jihoon was really really angry, his irises turned red

"who made you do this?”

“i can’t tell you--”

“im severing all ties with you if you dont tell me.”

“okay okay! seongwoo-hyung made me do it,, he just wanted to mess with you. nothing poisonous was fed to y/n! i swear!”

jihoon could only sigh and roll his eyes, as he motioned guanlin to come closer to him

and when he did, he twisted guanlin’s ear, making the younger groan in pain,,, while still holding onto you LOL

“help seongwoo-hyung again and not only your ears would be red,” jihoon snapped, as guanlin helped to load you on jihoon’s back

jihoon was contemplating where to bring you to,,, in this state where you were fast asleep

he decided to bring you back to your home

of course, with you on his back was pretty crazy

people were staring at him, thinking that he got a girl drunk lmao

but some people were noticing how cute he was and he’d just blush and try to hide his face??

meanwhile you were still sleeping, and jihoon made your head lean on his shoulder

and it was quite a scene bc a literal angel leaning on a literal demon’s shoulders??? p sadistic but cute at the same time

he knew the exact route to your house because it was almost like muscle memory,, he always came over to your house during the weekends when the both of you were childhood friends

when jihoon knocked on the door he was pretty nervous to how your mom would react

“y/n youre--jihoon?”

“sorry you have to see this, but y/n got drugged by someone... i saw her and i had to save her”

“ah, i see...” your mom was weirdly happy that no one but jihoon saved you??

“her room is the last bedroom to the right...” your mom pointed, “i think you should stay over, it’s quite late.”

“but i don’t have any clothes...” jihoon smiled nervously 

tbh how is he not tired after holding you for so long;)

“its fine! daniel has some clothes he cant wear anymore, you can use those.”

casually slips in olderbrother!daniel

jihoon was reminded of the times where your mom would take care of him p well, he was so touched that her heart didnt change over the years despite being a demon himself

“thank you mrs y/l/n, please rest early too!”

thats when your mom muttered something about him calling her mom

“excuse me?”

“yeah i will sleep soon, when daniel comes home.”

as jihoon entered your room, it was clean, and like a typical teenage girl’s room, with fairy lights and wall decorated with polariod pictures

after he settled you on your bed, he looked around your room and spotted a picture of the both of you amidst all the polariods

it was the both of you during your freshman year,, he took you to smoothie king because you were having a bad day

he smiled, but then sighed at the thought that your mother didnt allow you to date demons

but she was liking him so much she wanted yall to get married right there

all he could do was kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair

when he was about to leave he felt something tugging on his arm

“don’t go...” 

you were sleeptalking lmao

jihoon hence slept at the side on your bed, while holding your hand

the next morning, you woke up to a weight on your hand, and you saw a blonde head 

you were surprised so you screamed

and you woke jihoon in the process

“w-what”

“what are you doing here?”

“well...” jihoon scratched his head sheepishly 

“...”

“what-- y/n! i know im a demon but no, i would never do that”

“then?! what are you doing here, in my room, in your...outfit”

“because you told me to stay??” jihoon raised his eyebrows

shit he heard that, you cursed internally

“but thank you for saving me.” you blushed

“that’s it?” jihoon smirked, “no thank you kiss?”

“what?why?”

“because you are mine.”

shit i cringed so hard but smth jihoon would say tbh

“but my mom--”

he then interrupted your words with a kiss, which worked

“i can bet you my life saving that she is peeping at us right now,” jihoon whispered

and yes she was, peeking at the both of you and you could see her punching the air in victory

dating demon!jihoon is just like dating a huge fluffball

and takes revenges on your behalf if anyone dares to hurt/offend you

but sometimes hes hella r u d e 

like randomly flipping his hair and winking

and whenever he trips,,

“i think i fell for you”

like p l e a s e  s t o p

still has the innocence in him despite being a demon

like lighting up in front of candy

and buying you stuff in a non-evil way

your mother openly supports your relationship with jihoon

like 

“yes yall my son in law is jihoon,, isnt he handsome??”

and you had to shut her up everytime she starts talking about jihoon

sometimes you wonder if she forgot that youre her child and not jihoon

overall, a relationship most wouldn’t expect but still ship together

[btsxlami]

📢LISTEN 📢 UP📢 ARMYS📢 HERE ARE 23 UNDERRATED ¿!MORE!¿ RAP MONSTER TRACKS THAT YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY POSITIVELY SHOULD CHECK OUT by @btsxlami

Hey guys its your favourite Namjoon promoter here again a.k.a LAMI! My last post got a lot of notes so whoop whoop and included my personal favourite 23 Namjoon tracks which you can find here

Part 2 of my underrated Namjoon series.

Here are 23 more bc damn Namjoon has a lot of fcking songs!

Disclaimers: (HOLD UP IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING THIS I SUGGEST YOU SEE PART ONE)

1. i will include tracks that Namjoon covered

2. I will include tracks that Namjoon featured in

3. I will include tracks that I personally feel the need to be well known *so no I won’t put expensive girl even tho thats my shit*

4. This list will be a bit more laid back since I covered a lot of the most important songs in the last list sooo

5. since i covered his best and most “important” tracks in the last list theres not many left but ill probably include his REALLY early like pre debut fetus tracks with his underground rapper friends, tbh I personally don’t think they are the best but you can definitely see how he grew and where he started from

6. enjoY! and reblog kekeke

7. THIS IS A LONG ASS LIST AND I FUCKING ANALYZED EACH SONG SO I EXPECT YALL TO READ AND APPRECIATE NAMJOON GODDAMIT

8. you can always go to BTS’s official soundcloud for unofficial official tracks yeet

9. titles with stars are ones i recommend ( i should of done this for part one yikes)

1. Voices by Rap Monster ⭐

from his first 2015 mixtape RM > Check out the full album here >>  X  *you can refer to more mixtape songs in my previous list

I feel as if this song is the closest a fan can get with Kim Namjoon. Just listening to it you feel a bit relaxed and almost a bit sad when you start listening to the first half of the song. This song reflects a person’s tender emotions and voices that run inside of someone’s head when they are confused. I remember listening to this 2 years ago and towards the end Namjoon starts screaming out all his pain and I started crying. C R Y I N G

Namjoon had a really smooth life up until he started pursuing hip hop. He was a beyond smart student and had a happy family so why the hell would he be depressed? He had his whole life ahead of him right?

But this lyrics totally breaks that facade down

 “ I didn’t have any dreams just like my lyrics, every day in that way the functions and equations that couldn’t give me an answer in the end those things became uncountable injuries “

Despite having such amazing grades Namjoon did not know what the hell he wanted to do with his life, he didnt want to go into something academic despite being good at it, he was lost in life and his academics could not make him happy but instead hurt him even more.

“ thought I could catch the mirage known as happiness but the me in front of my desk wasn’t happy even for a moment without my mom knowing, I put a sheet of white paper between the pages of my workbook “

This verse totally broke me apart. He wanted to be happy while being in school but school sure as hell did not make him happy. His parents looked up to him as some smartass freak but without them knowing he started writing his own lyrics to cope with his hardships.

“my identity that I wrote down matched to the drum and bass a different, relaxed feeling compared to when I got my report card even when I was #1 my heart couldn’t relax”

The music brought out his true inner feelings, music brought out his true personality rather than when he was almost robot like studying with no self-identity. Despite being number one in class he still felt an emptiness that only music could fill.

“even as 7 years passed... still making my mixtape by myself in one corner of my room some say I’m fake, okay, I admit it, my dark past I can justify it, but I won’t, so that kind of problem won’t happen again the pedal that I stepped on for 7 years has finally been oiled “

Namjoon has been writing music and tried to get recognition for 7 years, despite Bangtan getting fame he is still lonely writing his own mixtape in a dark corner, kind of pathetic ehh idk, in his mixtape interview his dark past was his problematic sayings and actions. He felt the need to appropriate culture in order to rap. He then figured out that music and culture had nothing to do with eachother, music is for everyone. *I’m fake*

And finally after all the hardships after 7 years he is finally started to receive praise and attention!

2. WE ARE BULLETPROOF PT.1 by: Rap Monster, Supreme Boi, and Iron ⭐

Composed 6-7 years ago when Namjoonie was about 15 or 16 THIS SONG IS FUCKING BOP. 

2 of Bangtans were also first members are featured here: Supreme boi (yall probably familiar with him) and Iron! (i hope iron never affiliates with Bangtan ever again tho we dont need a criminal around them yikes)

3. Hook by Supreme Boi, Iron, and Namjoon (also the track used in Yoongi’s all i do is win)

Extremely old and pre debut, but old is gold

Probably one of Namjoon’s only ‘diss’ song, he usually doesnt diss others while he raps tbvh

4. Seventeen by Rap monster

I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDNT MAKE FUN OF HIM BC 15 YEAR OLD NAMJOON AT THE TIME WAS PROBABLY REALLY PROUD BACK THEN BUT HE LOOKED SO FUCKING FUNNY BC DAMN THAT HAIR AND HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK BUTHUSDHUFUFSUD

5. SKOOL OF TEARS By: Rap Monster, Suga, and Jin ⭐

Absoloute MASTERPIECE! FIRST OF ALL THE ORIGINAL TRACK IS FROM SWIMMING POOLS BY KENDRICK LAMAR AND I LOVE KENDRICK! SECOND, THE RAP FLOW SOUNDS AMAZING NAMJOON IS GOING SO HARD AND DAMN YOONGI BACK AT IT AGAIN! ALSO CREDS FOR BABY BOY JIN FOR SOUNDING SO BADASS HERE BUT HERE IS WHY I LOVE THIS SONG!

I think its absolutely amazing how Namjoon especially writes song towards youth suffering in school, it takes a lot of guts to write against a society that has been around for decades. 

“  This is a ring called a classroom This is a stadium with no referee only an audience You know there will never be a victor everyone will lose There will be no victor everyone will lose”

“ That’s right, in the end school is like another mini society A jungle made carelessly by adults They made the weaklings weak, they made the strong powerful Of course since they were strong they made the weak suffer A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend The morals of adults made us step on the weak to rise to the top “

Its clear to see that Namjoon has suffered in school but also isnt afraid to address the truth.

6. Expensive girl by Rap Monster 

( I FUCKING DISCOVERED THIS SONG WHEN I WAS LIKE 11-12 AND I NEVER WANTED TO PUT THIS HEAR BUT YALL LIKE FOUGHT ME TO ADD THIS TO THE LIST GODDAMIT I HATE YALL I GOT LIKE HATE MAN OKAY)

“Take it off now girl just take it off (I’m a master, baby with your bra)Take it off now girl just take it off (I can help you slide those panties off)(..I’m a beat that pussy like you never ever felt before)x2″

7. Converse High (original version SUNG by Rap Monster)⭐

Yall probably heard Bangtan’s Converse High but here was the original version written by Namjoon that was rejected bc of the swearing omg damn joonie, BUT HE SINGS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THIS YESS

(funny story in seventh grade when this came out it was the last day of school and i requested my teacher to stay after school late so i could finish listening to the whole thing)

8. Suicide by Rap Monster

Rapmon wrote this mixtape in the point of view of a baby in his mother’s tummy. The baby’s parents are high school kids who are forced to go through abortion.

*this song was deleted bc of copyright and also the source of it is unknown but hey ITS IN ENGLISH AND DAMN NAMJOON RIGHTS DEEP SHIT*

(tf is namjoon doing u good)

9. What am I to you by Rap Monster from the 2014 Dark & wILD ⭐

if you DONT KNOW THIS SONG I SUGGEST YOU RETHINK YOUR LIFE DECISIONS BC LOWKEY HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE BEST INTRO’S TO A OFFICIAL BTS ALBUM (gif is from the live ver of this song and he started crying ok)

So Namjoon used to have a girlfriend who “mistreated” him. Tbvh we really don’t know what happened but on problematic men he said it wasnt anything serious it was just she would neglect him and not spend enough time but also hang out with other men.

(gif aint mine so gif blogs dont come at me)

But clearly the lyrics of this song are very emotional but the real reason why this song is a masterpiece is because of the rise of  emotions.

It starts off slow and cute, Namjoon mentions how he loves the girl and how their love is pure and innocent, throwing cute love phrases and the song sounds so soft, hopeful, and romantic. But in the middle the music starts to get more serious and Namjoon starts to question the relationship. He feels as if the girl thinks of this relationship as more of a task and a job, and slowly as the song comes to an end NAMJOON STARTS FUCKING SCREAMING AND BELTING! ALL THE EMOTIONS BUILD UP AND HE STARTS SCREAMING “WHAT AM I TO YOU GIRL WHAT AM I TO YOU I DO LOVE YOU CRAZY UH DO YOU” LIKE IT WAS SCARY I WAS CRYING IM LIKE NAMJOON WHO TF HURT YOU

10. Always by Rap Monster ⭐

This song is more recent and farely well known but I still felt the need to put this masterpiece here. Namjoon said not to worry about him as the lyrics are really sad and almost ???SUICIDAL??? but he said he wrote this when he was stressed last year. Its kind of a self questioning song about life and your purpose. I cried when it came out. well i always cry when i listen to namjoon is it a surprise.

I'm honestly in tears because this song goes to show how hurt Namjoon still is even after all these years. Even after all these awards, fans, and accomplishments. Depression still hurts after a long time. I can tell that this song was talking about his past. This song literally made me realize Namjoon was questioning his existence and I wanna hold him so badly. Guys...we could of lost Kim Namjoon. My absolute favourite human being in the entire world who saved my life. He is a human being who does not deserve such pain but I am so proud he endured it so well and look how far he came. One of my favourite verses "I live for the sake of understanding this world, but why hasnt the world tried to understand me atleast once" Its a really vague phrase which is why I like it. WORLD could mean destiny, fate, life, even parents.  He tries so hard to accept his life, to understand his parents wishes, sacrificing his own happiness yet fate decides to only give him the worst. "Dad please listen to me" "dead dad, your dead to me," Talking about how his dad wouldn't let him rap. I remember him mentioning that his dad once told him all that education he worked hard for was for nothing and I can’t imagine how sad Namjoon felt in that moment. "I would tell god if I ever meet him, i would hold him by the collar and tell him this life is like a coffee I never ordered" A pretty sad and a bit confusing verse, maybe leading to why Namjoon eventually became an atheist. Namjoon was in so much pain he didnt want to be born. "I wished I was dead...... I wished “Someone would kill me" No Namjoon never utter such words. My joonie mini I hope you are better and hopeful now, look at how far you came, your so successful and loved, and you made your family proud. Dont ever doubt yourself and even think about death, just keep living happily and moving forward. He honestly felt lost in this point of his life and still continues to feel lost. Namjoon you have such in important role and your existence was destined. You were born for a reason. You were born to change lives. 

11.  J-Lim ft. Rap Monster & Iron - Ashes

12. TIPSY BY RAP MONSTER & SUPREME BOI

Namjoon wrote this in the beginning of his rap career when he was still trying to find where he stood as a rapper. He mentions how he isnt doing this for the fame or money and he isnt the next Nas or Tupac he just wants to rap for the love of it.

13.  Rap Monster of 방탄소년단 (BANGTAN),Supreme Boi,i11evn,Marvel.J - You can't do that

*i suggest you skip ahead to 1:30 for namjoon fire verse, shade intended*

14.  RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단,Suprema,Marvel.J,Kyum2 - Rollin

I also recommend you to skip ahead to 2:40 BC DAMN BOY GOES HARD

But tbvh pre debut namjoon squad (supreme boi , young jeezy, iron are hella problematic and say the n word in this and still do so im like yikes im happy nam left you) “ They pissed, now rape me" bitch whet

yeah im just here for namjoons verse bye

imma mufukin balla on this mufuckin beat spit mufuckin rap on this mufuckin shit got mufuckin skill so im mufuckin phat its mufuckin trick and a mufuckin track i i bet you betta stop stopin da chatter im a rapper man, and i represent BPB im juss so greater than hoes

15. FUCK COCKROACHES BY RAP MONSTER AND ZICO *THIS IS SO FUNNY*

Zico was 15 and RapMon was 13 when they rapped this, Namjoon sounds like a chipmunk BUT ZICO SOUNDS LIKE JIMIN I STG!

16. Rap Monster- Thinking Bout you

Joonie Mini Representing Biggie smalls eyyy!

17. Glory By Rap Monster

"I'm a dick? Yeah, when you disturb me, I grow bigger" SO FUCKING DONE

*there was lowkey lowkey controversy bc he said he tore 4 hymens BUT DETECTIVE LAMI FIXED IT*

 In the beginning Namjoon says that people looked at him pitifully because he joined BTS,  the Underground rappers were disappointed with him which led the Underground rappers to leave him, which has ripped his hymen. Not 4 hymen of random girls. 4 and "I" sound the same in Korean

it's a bit weird but in this case he is talking about himself all the hate people showed has ripped his hymen symbolizing his innocence for music.

18. NAA BY RAP MONSTER

tHE ORIGINAL BEAT WAS DEUCES BY CHRIS BROWN I WAS DYING

19. REGULAR VOICE BY RAP MONSTER ⭐

A really sweet and open-minded song about Namjoon wanting a “regular girl” “Height? I don’t care. Age? I don’t mind it. When you say, “I’ll only look at you” then I’m okay. Whether your skin is light or dark it doesn’t really matter, our love is deeper than that. “

I feel as if idols are pressured to have certain ideal types and say them out in the open, Namjoon had bad influences around him *underground rappers* which also influenced his negative sayings towards certain things but he wrote this song all alone at a young age which shows that his intentions are pure, and ever since he apologized for his wrong doings you go joon.

his voice sounds like sex

20. DREAMING BY RAP MONSTER

FETUS CHUBBY WTF HAIR NAMJOON IS BACK

okay but seriously you can see that despite being young he put a lot of effort and thought into this song!

21.  RAP MONSTER of 방탄소년단 feat.김거덕 - RAP

22.  130305??  THIS TRACK IS UNTITLED BUT IT SOUNDS SO EPIC TF

23. Trouble by Rap Monster 🔞 🔞

OKAY IM BARELY AROUSED BUT THIS SHIT ACTUALLY HAD ME SOAKED IM SORRY GOD LIKE ITS SO SUGGESTIVE I STG 

HIS SEXUAL FANTASIES I STG