#i wasnt even doing a lot which is what makes me mad bc like i could see if i was doing the bushes yeah id be so tired but man

[phagodyke]

dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....

[nomairuins]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[bunnyb34r]

Finally started hacking away at the overgrown rose bushes and I'm so fucking exhausted and in pain 😭 bitch....

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[iworshipsappho]

misconceptions about yr characters that i have come across, that really piss me off

the fact some believe that simon essentially forced wille to pick between coming out and dating him. THAT WAS NOT THE ENTIRE CASE OMG. the problem wasnt that wille denied it was him, simon totally understood that even if he wasnt exactly happy with their situation, he knew about who wilhelm was from the beginning and what that entailed. it was the fact that wille essentially promised simon that he would do what was best for them and actually hopefully come out, but then denied any and all involvement with simon, even friendly without a semblance of keeping him in the loop. it was that which created the gaping chasm of broken trust and uncertainty between them. simon NEVER forced wille to come out, it was always going to be on wille's terms.

i saw a post that suggested that sara was the one being a dick at marieberg rather than the one being bullied. and oohhhh boy let me tell you how fucking mad it made me. look im not going to infantilize her and brush off all her mistakes with the dumb reasoning of "oh she's neurodivergent." no, i wont be doing that. like any other character she too has nuance and a lot of depth and its always the one dimensional "analyses" that make me want to scream (derogatory). so coming back to my point. seeing people just blatantly call her manipulative and unforgivable without realising how conflicted her character is just sooo ughhh. (i realise that im not really versed in the intricacies of how her character essentially feels and im always open to criticism and adept analyses of any and all characters :3)

posts were people essentially hold simon and/or sara's mistakes to the same level as the CRIMES that august has committed and its just????? what in the even???? like- as i said, not ignoring the nuance here, but literally NOTHING can justify august's actions. he was always going to use that video with malicious intent. it was never going to be some oops teenage boy did a smth stupid when he literally recorded an intimate video of two minors. nothing can morally or legally (ig) defend that-

apologies if this comes off as like insanely aggressive and incoherent or smth bc this is more or less a vent post fhjsghsjgsg :'))

ANYWAYS yeah

[akascow]

tua4 spoilers as i rant about it like everyone else bc wtf was that

its like the writers got knocked in the head and forgor everything that had to do with the comics and former seasons and instead of trying to relearn it all they just looked at a picture of the characters and a vague description of their powers and wrote a script around it held together by a used bandage and a dried out elmers glue stick

dude i havent even finished watching it yet but no fucking way they all die at the end (if i read that correctly)

ur telling me after fighting to save the world on 3 separate occasions they dont even get a happy ending ?? what

not even mentioning the whole victim blaming line of "your trauma is your own fault because you shouldve never existed in the first place" aYO?????? wHAT ?!? that makes me so mad like highkey what

i havent gotten to it yet but i know theres a whole thing with lila and five now too which fucking sucks because ew? huh

they literally ruined everyones relationship because why did ray walk out on allison and claire?? the fuck ? ray from s2 would punch side mention s4 ray in the dick

jennifer was a stupid plot point okay why the fuck was she in a squid howd she get there whered it come from and why does she have such a visceral reaction to it years later

as an AVID no1 klaus lover they really nerfed the best character in the show he literally only got shot so allison could get peer pressured into resuscitating a dnr patient basically bc they couldnt find another way to write in how he got his powers back,, and they completely threw away the part from last season that he can choose to stay in purgatory(?) if he wanted to so thats that i guess :/

also lila w laser eyes? lmao girl where did that come from (NOT how her powers work)

and last thing everyones already saying this i was so happy luther finally got his normal human body back (i cannot stand looking at that ape body ive hated it since s1 lmao) and he gets his SUPER STRENGTH back and suddenly hes hairy again ?? WHYYYY??? THATS NOT HOW HIS POWERS WORK

i will admit tho that one scene with diego flipping into gunfire and redirecting the bullets back at them was sick as fuck i smiled hard at that

anyway i wasnt expecting viktor to be my fave character this season but elliot page was like so good this season (also his voice is so yummy) i mean he was great in every other season but he stuck out to me the most this time lol. i like that he has more teasing and jokes and hes a lot more confident,, not that it matters now but whatever it was nice while it lasted

[vypridae]

9!!! 10!!! 11!! 12!! 13!!! or pick and choose <3

IDK WHICH FANDOMS U MEAN BUT IM GONNA DO EACH ONE AND ILL JUST PUT MY HAZBIN/HELLUVA ANSWERS UNDER A CUT SO U DONT HAVE TO SEE THEM

9. worst part of canon

ok the worst part of dgrp canon has to be the way they handle characterization, like especially with trauma. specifically in mind i have korekiyo rn, like they mega rushed his entire Thing and wrote it in a way that paints HIM in a terrible awful light when it very likely (or definitely) wasnt that at all, but the way it was written just fucks up so, so much. also the Danganronpa Repitition TM (flashbacks to

bsd uuuh oh my god i have to think about this one cuz i love bsd with a passion BAHAHA its hard to find flaws with that one (in part i havent consumed the media in forever), ik it might be just bc the series is still being written but its irritating that some things from like the first seasons are just not touched upon again? and maybe its because ihavent read the manga but like. did atsushi join the ada and suddenly the bounty on his head is just Gone? am i misremembering if they went back to that or not its been like a year since ive watched bsd i need to rewatch it but thats about all i can think of. im not even mad about the not killing any characters because fyodor is alive still

10. worst part of fanon

dgrp has a TERRIBLEEEE shipping fandom. i hated oumasai for the longest fucking time because i encountered this one rper way back when that like was a mega red flag SBGJKFDHGKA i hated them for a while after that (then they grew on me). you get shit on for liking, like, the more toxic ships in the fandom no matter your reasonings or whatever, and i feel like its just a really negative place to be a shipper that likes to explore bad dynamics (such as i)

i think the worst part of bsd fanon is similar. shipping sides of fandoms are ALWAYS bad i feel like, and there are a lot of people that will be like "skk is real fuck you for shipping anything else" or like "if u ship nikolai with anyone but fyodor i dont trust u" or something like??? its a fucking ship chill out its fictional it doesnt hurt anyone irl CALM DOWN

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

for bsd uh . only two surprisingly, and its two ships that i cannot physically make myself like?? thats all apparently

for dgrp i have uuh two and its literally also only two ships that i dont like BHASFKAHSK

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

for bsd am i allowed to say fyodor? idk if he necessarily counts as "unpopular" but i see way more hate of him than i see people liking him, but god fucking dammit i love him with my whole heart. hes so evil and those kinds of characters litearlly just make me gravitate towards them, hes so smart and cunning and you can do so much with his character, especially learning his ability oh my god? jhes so complex and i love him

for dgrp, i feel like every character is "unpopular" BAHSAJKAHk but for this i think i wanna go with chiaki. people hate chiaki because shes "boring" or at least they Did back when i first got into the series but shes so different in the game compared to the anime because the game shes based on her classmates' memories of her! shes only this "perfect" individual because thats how her entire class saw her, like she was made the class rep for a reason

13. worst blorboficiation

ok this one im trying to figure out what the fuck the definition is BAHAJSHFAJK from what im SEEING its like, the character that doesnt deserve to be liked as much as they are. (i dont think i answered this one correctly but shh its fine)

for bsd thats really hard for me to think of because i like literally every character but uuh if i had to say one ig i'd say uuh . maybe dazai? i feel like this is in part because people typically take away from dazai's entire complex everything because he's too complex for a lot of people (including me) to truly understand, like im not saying i understand him but i feel like a lot of people will take the wrong parts of him/exclude anything they dont like about him and go with that? if that counts but idk i still like dazai so i cant say that too much

for dgrp its the exact same situation with kokichi. they take his character, of which is incredibly complex, and dumb it down into the typical fandom woobification of "uwu baby who cant do anything wrong" LIKE!!! STOP!!! NO HE IS NOT!!! HE IS SO COMPLEX AND YOU'RE LIKING HIS CHARACTER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!!! people that dont understand the complexity behind certain characters and are incapable of taking that as their blorbo and instead creating this silly incorrect version in their mind and making THAT their blorbo i just. thats not ur blorbo atp thats ur oc my guy

hazbin/helluva answers

9. worst part of canon

both of these shows are kinda not the best when it comes to being serious???? like there are some topics that shouldnt be joked about i feel like, and there are points in the shows that joke in relation to these topics. also theres not enough voxval but thats a criticism for another time

10. worst part of fanon

not even just the ships tbh, its liking any character thats either painted in a negative light or is just generally unpopular. the ships too but i could get to that another time. for EXAMPLE, me, i like valentino. a lot. he's one of my favorite characters. i feel like i cannot express the fact i love val because i will get called an ACTUAL rapist for saying it because "if you like val you condone his actions and thus are a rapist/terrible person/etc" when thats absolutely not at all how it works. i acknowledge that val is terrible, i understand that its bad, but i can still enjoy him as a character otherwise. his actions are what i dont like, ive never liked him (i actually hated him at first because of it but then i saw him being more silly in the series with vox and he grew on me), but you will actively get told to kys if you say that you even REMOTELY enjoy vals character

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have none for helluva but for hazbin i have four. three of which are for the sAME SHIP and one is another ship i dont like

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIMZYYYY dude she gets so much unnecessary hate. like, everyone sees her as annoying and terrible and i GUESS i can see where they're coming from but a. theyre in hell, everyone's terrible, b. people just see her as annoying because she interrupted hells greatest dad and they dont like that because they want their radioapple song or wtvr. i love her and no one can convince me otherwise

13. worst blorboficiation

ok THIS one i might actually be able to answer with the correct definition of blorboification. i feel like alastor gets way too much unnecessary love, and maybe thats just because i think hes too popular for being what he is but hes just not all that to me. like, hes a good character, yes, but some people like him to an extent that i feel like doesnt do him justice?? its like i said with uuuuuh the dgrp side of this question, they dumb down his character a lot and are just generally bad at making him ACCURATE to the point its irritating. (hey so yk how i said i could answer with the right definition of this i lied)

[liu-yu-xin]

I havent been on weibo and stuff in a while and i did Not think c-weishennies would be so mad about winwin not participating in the cb and theyre specifically mad at HIM about it... 😮 theres none of that twt oh poor winwin stuff going on 😭 from what ive seen most group fans are pissed that he misses so many things willy nilly and just shows up when he wants to which forces the other members to keep rearranging their formations. They do blame sm for part of the scheduling conflicts but there are definitely some things he couldve been in if he actually wanted to (ie the nct 2021 beautiful mv like ur telling me he couldnt find a rooftop like ten for a 3 second drone shot?) and i do see a point there i feel like in 2021/2022 he was fully ready to dip and ppl are speculating that he only comes back to wayv when mainland acting deals fall through. And they blame him for not saying anything about missing this cb until it became a trending weibo topic bc fans were fighting about it even though he mustve known he wasnt in the new cb weeks ago but ppl also said they felt the message was disingenuous or a bad excuse which i dont agree with i think it might really be a scheduling conflict this time and its not above sm to screw their idols like that.

Ppl are also bringing up for comparison how well the two svt chinese members are balancing their individual mainland china activities and group activities and i think that has something to do w the management style of the companies too bc pledis seems kinda laissez faire but sm keeps their idols on a short leash in general but winwin also does seem really flip floppy on what HE even wants like he was never a great idol but he cant leave wayv yet bc he hasnt been able to get his career in china up and running despite spending all that time there and i think if anything this is a testament to how generally likable he is bc if he was anyone else this backlash wouldve come much sooner. and i do semi agree with it bc how much can u blame on sm and how much is just winwin not advocating for himself at all? he has his own studio and there are opportunities out the ass to get on variety shows that dont require any talent or skill other than being semi famous in c-ent so whats really stopping him if he really wanted a career in china? And whats stopping him from getting any better at singing or dancing in his seven years of being an idol if he actually wanted a career in kpop? And if hes just in it for the money which i think a lot of idols are thats fine! But the rest of wayv shouldnt have to accommodate his indecision about what could make him the most money. Anyway I can only hope that my weaponized mediocrity in my job can fly under the radar as long as his has

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas just going to vent(/kind of ask you for advice?)

so. my friend, lets call her M, texted me today frantically bc her bf, lets call him W (very creative names here haha), broke up with her. then, he said it was because theyre too young to date and could they wait two more years. she said no, thats a really long time, i dont want that long of a break - just end it or dont. he then asked if they could do what ___ and ___ does (another couple at our school), which basically is they both like each other but arent actually dating, and they only talk a little. which, i thought it was weird to compare to another couple, but sure. M asked W if hes ok and does he need space, and he said no, and then promptly followed it up with "i need some space to think about this". LIKE??? then he said the last thing he wanted to do was break up, and they should stay how they are. and THEN he said they should take a break until the summer and he wants to go on nice dates when theyre back together. finally, he said he felt like he wasnt "perfect enough" for her -- which makes me so mad, because she never said anything to put him down like that.

then the conversation shifted. M was talking to her friend H along with me and some others, and W knew she was talking to H. (W and H do not like each other btw). W, talking about H, told M to "tell her we broke up, just to mess with her". "say you cheated on me or something". M of course said no, and W said "gaslight her" "why not". i feel like this is super, super weird, even though W doesnt like that H can kind of interfere with the relationship - which is valid but STILL. and i also find it weird that W wants the blame to be on M -- SHE cheated on HIM.

M says if W does another big thing, she'll end it. but i don't know what to do, because he's done things similar to this before. after abt a month of dating, he broke up with her, just to ask to get back together barely a day later. i dont know, this just feels really weird to me.

i just wanted to vent, so thank you, and if you have any advice that would be deeply appreciated. if not, its totally fine, i know this is a lot.

from, M&W anon

Hi!

So...it sounds like W wants to have his cake and eat it too lol. Like...he wants to have control over M, but not have to do anything relationship-y with her. It's totally valid to want to break up because he feels too young to date. But to ask her to wait around or to lie to friends is a red flag. He needs to decide what he wants, and your friend has ever right to set a boundary and tell him that, in my opinion. Relationships are about communication, after all. And if he doesn't know? She shouldn't have to wait around for him.

<3 <3 <3

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually

[sleepii-moth]

i feel the need to say before i finish this post that im not accusing anyone or "the fandom" of doing anything, this is merely an observation, but i find it really interesting that all of what ive seen people criticize ford for is coincidentally a lot of what looks like to me, as an autistic person, is him having classic "undesirable" or "frustrating" autistic traits, things like lack of understanding for social norms (manners in particular), lack of empathy, being incredibly blunt, and inability to understand other people. These are all traits that a lot of typical abrasive scientist characters have so its not like im here saying hes canonically autistic or anything, its just to me he feels like a very autistic character. which is why its so interesting to see people criticize him so viciously for things that ive found myself doing or at least can perfectly understand his thought process in doing those things. Like one thing ive seen someone complain about is when hes monologuing about how he got fiddleford to join him on his portal, and he says that fiddleford was "wasting his time making personal computers" and i guess to the average person maybe thats rude, like maybe he liked making computers! but to me i can see how it probably wasnt meant in malice or contempt for fiddlefords work ford just knows that fiddleford can do better and doesnt understand why hes "wasting" his time making computers because ford doesnt understand what his motivations are, like fiddleford can build GIANT KILLER ROBOTS and INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTALS, fords probably thinking "fiddlefords a genius he is so good at building why is he building computers when he can make big cool awesome stuff" that doesnt really seem that bad to me? definitely doesnt seem like itd make ford an asshole. And then theres the portal thing and like, i guess how not immedietly saying "are you okay" after your assistant just went face first into a portal to who knows where and is speaking backwards is not a good thing to do, but i definitely dont think that it meant ford didnt care about fiddleford, especially if he expressed multiple times later on how he regretted fiddleford leaving and missed him. to me its like, ford was already mad at him, already probably tense bc theyre testing the portal, then he gets fiddleford out and hes not like actually bleeding or anything (and even if he was visibly distraught i dont really consider ford to be the kind of person to really factor in psychological damage when youre making sure someones okay (and he may have already been used to seeing fiddleford have panic attacks at this point so he couldve assumed thats what was wrong (but also like either way youre gonna be spooked if you just did the interdimensional portal equivalent to almost falling off a cliff))) so ford just probably assumed he was fine, plus hes already there for the portal test so his brains thinking about the portal test, having someone go in the portal is a pretty good way to test the portal so that person must know a lot .. and like still kinda a shitty thing to do but i dont think that means ford didnt care about him thats just a weird conclusion to draw based on how ford acts especially. there seems to be this big idea that ford secretly hated fiddleford and saw him as less than when thats not really true at all, ford even admits in his journal that he *needs* fiddleford and that fiddleford can do what he cant but also that he enjoys his presence and has gone out of his way to do things for him, plus theres so many times where ford really does talk about how much he admires him! fiddleford got a whole page! just about him! when ford couldve just offhanded mentioned him in his journal (that is SO important to him too) he decided to dedicate a whole page to listing off his quirks and drawing a picture of him like thats just pure adoration!! i just think that with all the stuff with bill combining with his lack of empathy and ability to understand others he just comes across as meaner than he probably was

[nitazenes]

lmao you mad?

idgaf who sees any of my messy BS at this point. There's no way I could restart or anything because everyone who has ever stalked me has found my socmed

but it's my turn to vent

you have the gall to get petty and vague me and say that you are frustrated when, let's take a look at the facts, shall we?

We were together for over a year and not once did you try to get to know me. Never asked questions. Do you even know how old I am or what gender I identify as? Like the bare minimum bc i dont think you do.

The whole time I felt like you loved your husband more than me and i was just a side piece

I took time to actively invest myself in your interests, researching things you were into, following every blog you made because despite getting nothing in return I still loved you.

You abandoned me in the middle of me being controlled and abused when you were in the exact same predicament previously. Would you have wanted that when you were going through your abuse? Me just walking away to let you deal with it instead of being supportive and understanding.

When I came back to you after that horrible relationship ended you said you still wanted me to be part of your life and you wanted to take time and not rush but you left me believing that you were my supporter.

2 months pass and it's the same shit "good morning" "goodnight" being our only messages through the day. And sometimes i didnt even get that.

I come back to you to tell you that I want to be your partner again and you tell me youre no longer attracted to me. I don't blame you for that, in fact, i kind of suspected you were only into men

Which confuses me because I'm NB/gender fluid/have male alters. i identify as a man sometimes. i still grow my facial hair out sometimes. my legs havent been shaved in years like im not a girl dude so i felt that was a little transphobic

I may look feminine and i may embrace that feminine look currently but im not a girl

None of your alters ever really spoke to me. If we spoke at all that day

Ultimately we dated for over a year and you still didn't know anything about me. In fact In the end there, I was trying to be more of an initiator for you and was even getting pushy about wanting to tell you about my past bc that's how I bond with others. I show them my trust by knowing something that makes me vulnerable but you would give me weak responses to things i was passionate about.

Then I tell you I don't want to be your friend. After all of the above, if i did that to you, would you have wanted me as a friend? No. in fact it kind of felt like you just wanted me to kiss your ass while your real relationship was with your husband.

"We never got over you" BULL.

I wasnt going to post anything about this but yknow what, if youre going to bitch and complain about me, when I tried to give you everything. I was going to send you fabrics that ive saved and kept bc my grandmother gave them to me but I knew you had an interest in sewing so I cut up that fabric to send you pieces. I have a whole box of shit ive gathered over the past year I was going to send to you. I made Kandi bracelets for every alter i met or knew about

and what did you do for me?

take. take. take. But you'd never give.

That's why I dont want to be friends with you because even in your silence, you were hurting me. And at this point, people who hurt me have to go. Im too old for this shit anymore and I have a lot more to worry about than being practically ignored by my "partner" and causing my BPD to split every time I saw you posting about how much you were romantically invested *in a character in a video game* yes, i got jealous over a video game character because you would give that character more thought and attention than your own fucking partner.

So block me on everything, go ahead, everyone does.

I hope you get help. I hope you get everything you've ever wanted, but I don't want to hear a word about it.

This is me closing your chapter in my life. I'm sorry it had to be this way.

-Rey

[rosebud2829]

I need to yell again.

If i get one more notification and it isnt from my parents im going to fucking block people. Im getting spam texts from my friends about stuff and im not in a good mood. They only ever wanna text me when i cant talk istfg. I got woken up by one of them because he told me to do something for a dare i wasnt even fucking apart of. I keep getting videos from 2 other ppl and im not even mad at them bc one does this so much idm but im just really tired and really pissy.

I got thrown off schedule because i usually shower around 7-8ish but i had to watch the dog and my mom has the fucking audacity to have an attitude with me when itd be a hassle to have the dog and groceries at the same time. Im doing them a favor and they came back for a bit and i went to use the restroom and she goes "we cant go yet we have to wait for HER to get out." GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

Shes been so rude to me all day, she fucking got snippy with me when i was talking about my day bc i needed to send a picture of a poster to someone and she goes "is it homework?" And i said no abd she was like "yes it is" BUT IT DOESNT CLASSIFY AS HOMEWORK BUT SHE JUST HAD TO FUCKING BE RIGHT BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE!!

Im tired,the ashes are making me sick bc theres a fire pretty much about to engulf my city as i type this out,because of the fire the scheduled activities at school didnt happen and wont end up happening which im mad about, and im just getting tired of people again. Not to mention stuff happened monday that i cant even talk about here because people follow me here that know who im talking about and i just cant with it right now.

This whole week has been a shitfest. Im so fucking tired. Yeah theres been good stuff recently, alot of it. But the bad stuff just decides to rear its ugly fucking head and keep going and going and pushing me till i want to fucking drown and just not wake up.

If anyone sees this, which i know like 2 people will,if you ask im just gonna say im fine like usual. My mental shit doesnt involve one of you and the other one its screwing with me a lot. Ill be fine eventually, i always am.

I cant die anyhow, my friends would miss me too much. Atleast thats what i like to tell myself.

[roseworth]

As one of the most Rose Wilson blogs (excellent taste) what r ur thoughts on the first issue of her Knight Terrors ?

my biggest thoughts on it are just that its not very interesting </3 there are a few things i dont like about it (the lack of lili 😔 but ill circle back to that in a sec) but overall ?? it just didnt really do a lot. theres not a lot to dislike but theres also not a lot to like

but i can excuse the fact that theres not a lot in it given that this is the first time rose is getting the spotlight in like 15 years so not a lot of people are gonna know anything about her backstory so they had to make it accessible to people that dont know her. and i get that

like batman's knight terrors tie-in could delve a lot deeper into his backstory and feelings bc. its batman. everyone knows batman. he has arguably the most famous backstory in western media. but not everyone knows ravager so they had to make it very new reader friendly and i understand that, especially since her biggest trauma (getting drugged by slade) isnt even canon right now (😔) and her other big trauma (her mom dying) is a little more complicated than the story they wanted to tell (mostly because. wade.)

but i wish they had gone a little deeper into like. her feelings. being trapped in a nightmare that you have to escape from is one of my favorite tropes ever so i was soooooooo excited when this book was announced, but it just,, didnt really do anything. there was so much that could've been done with rose protecting and subsequently being betrayed by her younger self, not to mention the whole idea of slade hunting her down. but they didnt really use it? i was hoping for more like,,,, character exploration. but it didnt really deliver

on the other hand though. this one was def trying to do more of a plot than some of the others. like for example the jason & tim one has the basic plot of "theyre in a nightmare" but other than that its really just being used as a way to make them go through their fears n give them some character exploration (side note i wish they had been given two separate ones but thats a whole other post) whereas the ravager one is talking about murder man using rose as a conduit and trying to get into the waking world and making it like. a story instead of just introspection. so it definitely felt like the first issue was setting a lot up for more that will (hopefully) happen in issue two.

anyways back to her mom. again part of the reason that it would be so hard to incorporate lili into the story is that the circumstances surrounding her death would mean reintroducing the story from 30 years ago where she died, which slade wasnt there for so they couldnt wring out her daddy issues, and the fact that its only brought up like. 3 times ever again after that make it hard to reference her. not to mention deathstroke 2016 sort of retconned it that slade murdered her ????? then that was also never brought up again. so once again i understand that it would be very complicated to bring her into the story, not to mention if she showed up she would show up just to die 3 seconds later so i cant be.. too mad.

HOWEVER. they taunted me by mentioning her one (1) time then bringing up the foster parents instead. it seems like it's sort of working toward bringing her pre-52 origin back. but the foster parents were the worst part of her pre 52 origin. and also as my roommate (who hasnt read a lot of rose) pointed out, the foster parents are a deep cut. they showed up for like 3 pages 20 years ago then died and were literally never brought up again (not even a passing mention) until now. and while the story doesnt hinge on knowing who they are, i feel like theres definitely a feeling that youre missing something when you dont know the parents. so the fact that they were there at all seems really weird to me given the fact that im trying to excuse the fact that lili wasnt there. idk. its just hard to understand why brisson chose to put them there instead of lili, who had a major impact on rose's life and her death is the whole reason rose even joined slade at all. at least to me, the fact that lili wasnt there was extremely noticeable and felt wrong (not to mention the "i grew up in a brothel not a foster home" line is kinda iffy to me but maybe im reading too much into it). im still hoping she'll show up in the second issue, especially since they did specifically mention her in the first issue so maybe thats setting her up to show up in nightmare form later (<-delusional)

ok i think thats all my thoughts for now. tldr: its fine, it doesnt have a lot necessarily with it given the fact that rose isnt a well known character so they couldnt dive too deep into her character, but i felt like it wasnt really trying to do anything and it wasnt interesting. the only real problem was the fact that her mom wasnt there. but mostly im willing to wait until the second half before im too harsh on the book

[queenburd]

thoughts on the figurines? not just the ending itself but also the process of collecting and everything.

so i have two weird, conflicting POVs on the figurines in general.

There's the setup where you're not actually Stanley, so Stanley has no context for the figurines when he finds them in the epilogue, in the broken down Memory Zone. They fill him with confusion as well as agonizing loss, because the Narrator was doing things and making things while Stanley was frozen, things clearly for Stanley and to remind him of Stanley. And then, confusion, because the figurine counter is not at 0, or even 6. It's much more. he has no idea why.

And later when he can visit the expo, the figurine exhibit is closed. "You've already been here." It.... fills him with a foreboding that he can't place up until the achievement machine. Something he didn't understand when he saw words on a dark screen in a dark office.

He's missing something, and he doesn't know what, and that frightens him.

and THEN there's the other setup, which is what I think I would write for "you, and me, and this thing called eternity". here's a copy/paste of what I wrote on discord an age ago:

narrator was alone with skip for a long, long long time he tried to find ways to pass time. made idea like tsp2, bucket. figurines. he didnt pretend to know what would be stanleys reaction but he did imagine what he would do and say when stanley got a figurine. when he got them all. he thought about it a lot. he was at that point in the skip starting to spiral "you got them all!" "oh..... stanley getting all the figurines...." fixates starting to go mad. thinks about when stanley would get the figurines. wasnt that special? started to lose track of the reality of things, that this was just a fantasy ("he forgets which life is the real one"-apartment ending) "let's do it again! let's go back and get them all backwards!!!" "what came before? what came before them?" and he overlooks the other memory zone things and TSP2 stuff to go back to the New Content, then two doors, then office. ("And I'm trying to tell him this! that as long as he keeps doing this, he can never be anything more than an observer.") he decides, because hes really deteriorated at this point, that he must have made stanley up. must have made up a character to keep him company. he must have. stanley's not real, if he was real he'd be talking to him, right?

but it was so fun to play with stanley...... we're in the memory zone, arent we? let's play again..... and the end was never the end was never the end was "never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end" so. when the game resets. a lot of the stuff he made to kill time was saved! tsp2 was there. figurines were there! all his dialogue for the skip button. all his ideas. all his ideas. so when stanley finally gets all the figurines, he's witness to what went on in the Narrator's mind for all of it. after they finally reset from completing the figurine ending he's freaked

and the Narrator feels very very apologetic and you see, he doesnt feel that way now! it was just--it was all saved from when he was trapped in the skip. another way the parable tried to make conflict between them using his own insanity that he was brought to midpunishment, to hurt them both some more so yeah. they did talk about it and they worked past it. bc its not a thing the narrator actually feels when stanley GETS the figurines, hes just forced to relive it they had a pause immediately after that run ended. talked it out. narrator closed the figurines exhibit to make sure it didnt happen again.

I know that's more about the ending than the process. the truth is Stanley finds them entertaining, and silly, at first, but as the process continues something about them feels a little weird. something about the Narrator feels a little weird. Maybe the Narrator feels weird about THEM.

but neither of them can really place it. so they just go through it without really bringing it up. Stanley collects the figurines when he sees them, he thinks the Committee is a fun little clue from the Narrator and more interesting than the usual meeting room setup.