#having a kind heart is good but having a heart too big you let people step all over it no matter what is only gonna hurt you
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cuntyji · 2 days ago
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cw: suggestive , reader has tiddies/wears a bra/fem-bodied
you’ve heard the phrase "get that man a bra" before. people say it as a joke, a way to poke fun at dudes with substantial pectoral mass. but your toji? oh, he wasn’t just a man in need of a bra—he was the reason bras existed.
the sheer density of those things. they weren’t just pecs; they were mega milkers, genetically blessed jugs of goodness, god-given war crimes of mass destruction. no one should have tits that big and not wear some form of support. but you, naïve and unsuspecting, had never thought he’d actually take action on this very real issue.
so when you came home after a long, exhausting day, all you wanted was to lay on top of him, soak in his warmth, and let his big ol’ chest pillows cradle your weary soul. but the second your face met his torso, something was off.
where was the plush? where was the give? where was the comforting, all-natural memory foam of his pecs? instead of the usual soft, heavenly bounce-back, you were met with a rigid, unyielding force.
"… babe?" you mumbled, lifting your head slightly. you poked at his chest. it didn't jiggle. it didn't even budge. your heart rate spiked. this was unnatural.
“hmm?” toji replied lazily, his arm draped over his forehead, completely unfazed.
you poked again. harder. then squinted up at him. suspicious. too suspicious.
your eyes flicked to his shirt. then back to his chest. then back to his shirt. something was lurking under there, and you weren’t sure if you were emotionally prepared for what you were about to uncover.
but then, to your absolute horror, he smirked and casually lifted his shirt.
you gasped.
he stuffed himself into a sports bra.
your sports bra.
your brand-new, high-support, for-the-girlies-only sports bra.
it was stretched to its absolute limit, fabric screaming for relief. you swore you saw the seams trembling under the immense pressure of his pecs.
"bro," you whispered in pure betrayal.
toji, completely unfazed, propped himself up on one elbow and rolled his shoulder. "pretty good, right? keeps ‘em locked in. no bounce."
"NO BOUNCE?!" you shrieked, sitting up so fast your head spun. "YOU KILLED THEM. YOU SLAUGHTERED THEM. THEY'RE SUFFOCATING. RELEASE THEM IMMEDIATELY."
he had the audacity to chuckle.
“nah, i like it," he said, adjusting the straps like some kind of deranged lululemon ambassador. "real snug. back support’s nice too."
you were about to pass away.
"toji," you inhaled, voice shaking. "you ruined my brand new bra."
"nah," he shrugged, reaching for the remote. "just stretched it out a little."
stretched it out a little. a little. A LITTLE.
he turned to look at you, finally noticing the sheer emotional devastation on your face. then, after a beat, he smirked.
"you jealous?"
you grabbed a pillow and swung.
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revelboo · 3 days ago
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I can't, man. I just can't keep falling in love with all the bots you write! It's not fair! I see you write for a bot that I never considered for before, and then BOOM, they've been added to the simp list. You can keep getting away with this!!!!!!!!!
I regret nothing 😆
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Heads Up, Hearts Down Pt 2
TFA Ratchet x Reader
• Heart racing when you notice the other, big robots inside the abandoned building, you push back against the servos steadily shoving you forward. And the group of three other humans sitting at a battered table eating, one of them only nine or so years old, look up in surprise. The little girl pointing a fork imperiously at the bot shepherding you inside. “You can’t just take in people like stray cats, doc,” the kids says before taking another huge bite of her food. Feeling oddly numb as you let your bot nudge you over to the table with the others and he produces a big rag out of thin air to drape over you. Hear him growl ‘not a word’ at a tall blue and red bot who holds up his hands in surrender and you wonder if you’ve just had a mental breakdown from stress. Because these bots aren’t right. Too advanced. Too uncannily nearly human and alive.
• Watching as you reluctantly sit and one of the other humans fixing you a plate and passing it over, Ratchet vents tiredly. Aware of Sari touching her own lip no doubt asking about your injury as your shoulders hunch. And you’re better off with them. Your own kind better suited to soothing your fear. Can hear the four humans talking amongst themselves as he looks up at Optimus’s questioning stare. “They were hurt. Some other humans attacking them.” Shrugging uncomfortably as he watches you. “I’m not that sparkless as to ignore something like that.”
• Picking half heartedly at the food in front of you, you listen to the confused explanations from the other three. Mostly the kid, Sari. They’re alien robots, twisting in your seat as she points and names the four lingering and watching your little group. The fifth one, Prowl, abruptly dropping through the hole in the roof to make you nearly fall out of your chair and one of the others scream. Landing in a crouch and slowly straightening to frown at all of you before joining the other robots. Aliens. Robot aliens. And every time you glance over, their group is watching your group.
• ‘We seem to have an infestation,’ Prowl murmurs as he glances at the humans all staring wide eyed back at him. And then immediately starting to whisper amongst themselves. “Leave ‘em be,” Ratchet growls. His and Optimus’s bruised and shaken. “Think humans attack each other like that often?” Realizing he’d thought of you as his, he frowns and catches you still glancing over at him. As if to make sure he’s still there. Watching over you. What would they have done if he hadn’t been there?
• ‘Yeah, the green one tried to pay me with this metal thing as big as my coffee table to babysit Sari here.’ One says as Sari immediately pipes up that she doesn’t need a babysitter. And it’s surreal, the fear and anxiety muted as you listen to them talking. The fact that they seem okay helping you, though one is bruised and tired looking, but they’d explained that they’d been attacked by a bad alien, but rescued by the blue and red one, Optimus. Not just robots. Sentient aliens. Attaching names to each of them making them a bit less intimidating. That and Sari’s insistence that they’re the good guys, the kid completely at ease with them. Watching the red and white one, Ratchet, watching you in turn, you offer him a hesitant smile. He hadn’t had to save you, it wasn’t his problem, but he still had.
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babyjinsu · 2 days ago
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[r/TooAfraidToAsk] my girlfriend never eats the last bite of her food. ever. why??
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002 of 001 !! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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you and anton walked hand-in-hand, fingers intertwined as you both made your ways to the little restaurant, slightly hidden in the big city of seoul.
"where did you find this restaurant?" you asked, avoiding from stepping on fresh snow underneath your steps. anton hummed, and looked up to the sunny, but shady sky. "sohee said the udon there is good, but he never had the buttermilk. sooo, hopefully..." he chuckled, taking your hand and tucking it inside the pocket of his puffer jacket, keeping it warm.
"i'm excited," you muttered, looking up to anton with a grin on your face. "it's cold today, i hope they serve soup too." you continued, shivering slightly despite having few layers on. anton nodded, squeezing your hand inside his pocket. "i think they do, pretty. if not, we'll get soup elsewhere, yeah?" anton smiled as he pulled you closer to him.
you hummed and nodded, walking close alongside your boyfriend.
--
the restaurant wasn't packed with people, it's cozy and warmer inside, with a feeling of "welcome home!" to it. the waitress greeted both of you as she served food to the customers, and anton just picked any available seats. you shrugged off your coat and hung it on the back of the chair, rubbing both of your palms together and lightly blowing on it to spread heat.
the waitress handed you both menus, and told to call out to her when you're ready to order. anton nodded, and thanked her. you looked through the menu, there were so many different kinds of udon, but unfortunately...
"the buttermilk is unavailable..?" anton muttered to himself, disbelieved that the reason why they had come to this restaurant, wasn't even on the menu today. you pursed your lips and let out a small sigh-- you looked forward to eating it too...
"that's okay. the miso one looks good too. i think i'm going with that, you?" you said, smiling to anton to ease his guilt on the-unavailability-of-buttermilk-udon, which worked as anton nodded his head and a smile appeared on his face again. "then i'll just have the classic one, kake udon." your boyfriend replied before closing the menu and calling out to the waitress to place your order.
--
"sooo yummy~ i feel like ordering one more!"
they were delicious, scrumptious even. light, warm, heartful-- the perfect dish for the minus degree weather. you leaned back against the chair, holding your stomach exaggeratedly to indicate that you were filled to the brim-- but as usual...
"you didn't finish?" anton asked after he saw a spoonful bite of udon in your bowl. "mm?" you hummed and looked at anton, processing what he just said before your eyes averted to your miso udon.
you nodded, casually, like... you're agreeing that you didn't finish your lunch because... that's what happened.
"why not? you don't like it?" anton asked, cocking an eyebrow in both curiousity and confusion. you looked at him with an even confused expression. "what do you mean? i like it, it's yummy." you replied, taking a sheet of tissue to wipe the corner of your lips.
"so...?" anton pressed slightly, nudging at the unfinished udon in your bowl. you followed his eyes-- and shrugged. "it's what i do." that reply. again. the same reply anton would receive every single time he asked.
"mm, alright pretty," he just smiled, accepting her answer. maybe... maybe there was just no reasoning or justification as to why you left the last bite of your food. maybe it's just you. maybe it's just what you do.
"wanna get dessert?"
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💭 yay part two! final 003 next hehe >-<
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xwiedzmax · 2 days ago
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okay. so. i said i will not shut up about this song and.. well here we are
analyzing Watch Me Soar by Willemijn Verkaik (and Scott Alan) (guys i love Willemijn shes such a great singer and me when her Elphaba and i could rant about her for hours and-) [basically] line by line, here we go
"I know that it's hard for you to imagine That I'm not that young girl you once knew I'm no longer 12, what you see is a woman Standing in front of you"
first line and it starts off *strong*. like. 'im not that young girl you once knew, im no longer 12'. thats literally what would happen when Icarus came back, everyone only remembered them from the times before they first died. dropping the age like that is crazy everyone would remember them as that small child (we dont look at Chronicles of Wonder i found this song before that came out guys i promise this is still coded) and the first line just straight up calls that "And I, I have been patient, I have been kind I paid all my dues and I gave up my time I can't be confined to the past anymore My wings have grown"
the first two verses are just about them being Quixis. about trying their best to do their job, trying their best to just do the right thing and come back as fast as possible and- 'i cant be confined to the past anymore' is so- cuz like- theyre not the same person they were as a child. theyre not the same person they were during all the seasons. theyve changed, many things have changed, they want to be better than what they were before, they want to be a good brother, a good friend, not be remembered as the person who killed multiple of their friends, the person who hurt so many of their friends and family. they want to redeem themself and the line 'my wings have grown' is just so- because they dont have wings in the worldport. and their wings are important to them, theyre such an important part of them, and they dont have that in the worldport. and they finally get to experience having wings, experience the freedom of flying
"Everyone says just to be thankful, just to be grateful Or just let it be But I'm tired of this waiting, it's always tomorrow I'm done with perceptions that you've had of me"
something something Icarus just having to wait and wait and wait. wait for their job as Quixis to be over. with the knowledge that their family doesnt remember them, many of their friends dont even know who they are
"I've given you blood, you've given me tears I've given my heart and so many years It's finally time to fend for myself And open my wings"
now. first two verses are about their time as Quixis again. about how long theyve had to spend, waiting, working, alone. theyve given up so much, spent *so many* years alone, watching over the universes, with no one but a chicken to keep them company
the last two verses are them just being happy about being back. finally being able to do the things they *want* to do not the things they *need* to do they can open their wings again, fly, experience weather, nature, be themself again
"It's my time to soar, yes My time And I don't need you to love me, that's not what I asked I just want you to see that I'm more than my past"
its their time, they can soar the skies, experience things again, make bonds but they dont immidiately ask for forgiveness, they know theyve done a lot of bad stuff in the past. they just want people to see them as a new person, not what they were before, want people to see past the things theyve done. and this just fits so well
"You have expectations, well they're just too small And I'm dreaming big So watch me soar Watch me soar Watch me soar"
theyre so excited to be back, after being stuck for years. they just want to experience joy and do everything they werent able to do before
"It's time to let go, take a leap, touch the sky Feel the wind press against me as my wings learn to fly Then soar, I will soar Watch me soar"
they deserve to be a happy birb boi me thinks. 'feel the wind press against me as my wings learn to fly' because they would need to get used to that. they dont have their wings in the worldport and theyve spent so long without them, it would take some learning and figuring out muscle memory to fly like they used to
"Yes, I know that it's hard for you to imagine That I'm not that young girl you once knew I'm no longer 12, what you see is a woman Soaring in front of you"
this entire section is just so Icarus after coming back from being Quixis, especially singing to Rae, but just to everyone too- and.. even tho this is the wrong gender, its still *so frickin coded*. perfect ending to this song and honestly im actually amazed how coded this whole song is. especially because i know it only because Willemijn sings it (im normal i promise im not hyperfixated at allll-)
and in general the way this song sounds is just so hopeful, its giving new energy and happiness and just- pure joy of experience, and i love it if you for whatever reason read this all, have a nice timezone<3 hopefully some of my rambles actually made sense <- local guy is eepy and totally not writing this at 5am- totally-
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tyrantisterror · 2 days ago
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Wife Goals: Harley Quinn
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Welcome back, fuckers. It's February, I'm in a bad way, let's talk about the unstable fictional women that I pine for, because fuck you that's why. Last time on this prolonged emotional breakdown, I talked about Ryoko Hakubi, the ancient demon space pirate from the Tenchi Muyo franchise. Today, I'll talk about someone I think we all knew would come up sooner or later - I have a whole shrine to her for fuck's sake.
Funny story - I didn't actually watch Batman: The Animated Series as a kid, despite being a child of the 90's. It, Power Rangers, and Gargoyles were the big 90's shows I just sorta bailed on (and I guess TMNT? I think of that more as an 80's show, personally, but I've seen some people lump it into 90's nostalgia too, so...). I just wasn't much of a superhero fan when I was a kid - superheroes were buff athletic masculine guys, like the bullies that picked on me, and they beat up weird-looking dudes who were obsessed with, like, monsters and spiders and shit, which I related to a lot more, so it just wasn't my scene as a kid. I had Godzilla for my hero-worship anyway, and it's hard to compete with Godzilla for my heart.
I did watch Batman Beyond, though, because it came on after Digimon and what else would I do with my Saturday morning?
Anyway, I don't think I actually saw much if any at all of BTAS until my teens. Pop culture being what it was, I was still loosely aware of Batman and his gallery of rogues, so I knew of Harley Quinn by that point, but I didn't have any particular fondness for the character yet, and even after watching some episodes she wouldn't become important to me until, like, after college.
And to understand why you kind of have to understand what was going on with Harley Quinn at the time. So, ok, Harley debuted in Batman the Animated Series, an exceptionally well-done adaptation of Batman that is specifically noted for taking the superhero comic world's devotion to maintaining a status quo super seriously. And by that I mean that essays have been written on the sort of Calivinist nature of morality in Batman the Animated Series, where if a character is a supervillain, then nothing they do, no matter how well-intentioned, will EVER allow them to break free of being evil. Poison Ivy wants to leave villainy behind and be a mother? Well, because she is Inherently Villainous, she can't help doing it in a way that involves mind control and gene splicing and crimes against humanity. Mr. Freeze wants to save his wife? Well, there's no way he can ever progress that goal without harming people with a freeze ray, and also every evil scheme he concocts to reach that end - a noble goal, mind you - will be foiled, leaving his wife still frozen on the brink of death. If you are a villain in BTAS, you will always, always, ALWAYS be a villain, no matter how hard you try to redeem yourself. The status quo MUST be maintained, no matter how tragic your situation is.
Which adds a meta-textual layer of bleakness to the already incredibly bleak life of Harley Quinn. Harley is a psychologist who fell in love with her patient, and said patient happened to be the Joker, i.e. one of the most notorious supervillains of all time. She turns herself into a supervillain to impress him, throws her career in the toilet in the process, and ends up being used as a disposable tool and punching bag by said villain over and over again. Harley suffers horrendous abuse from the Joker, commits horrible crimes to gain his favor, suffers terribly when she's caught by Batman, and basically repeats this cycle over and over and over and over again.
Because the status quo must be maintained, no matter how bleak your situation is.
It should be noted that, in the (intentional or not) Calvinist nature of the show, Harley's misery is clearly intended to be a direct result of her flaws. In Batman the Animated Series, pre-villain Harley is explicitly stated not to be a good psychologist to begin with - she was not smart enough to earn her degree honestly and slept with her teachers to raise her grades. Never ethical or talented, it's kind of treated as though her situation is her own fault for not growing as a person like she should have in the first place, which, uh... I don't think that element aged well at all, honestly.
But, luckily, Harley proved popular enough that the Batman the Animated Series take on her didn't remain the ONLY take for very long.
In fact, Harley's popularity grew so big over time that by the 2000's she got her own solo series, which came with a big problem to solve: how does Harley Quinn, a character who revolves around the Joker, who in turn revolves around Batman, work as a character without the two characters she was designed to orbit around? She's a moon, not a star, how can that work?
Well, Harley had to change, and that meant the status quo had to change.
Harley breaks up with the Joker and tries to, well, not go legit necessarily, but be a more low-profile kind of supervillain so Batman stops punching her in the face so much. More mischief and misdemeanors and less murder and manslaughter, and when she does kill someone it's, like, a serial killer or assassin, so basically fine. Because her relationship with the Joker is, like, the PICTURE of an abusive relationship, Harley becomes this picaresque figure, escaping from her chains to run free and rampant, and inviting us along for the ride.
And with that independence as a guiding theme, Harley got retooled a bit. She's always been a cheerful goofball, so it's not really out of character for her to help people now and then, albeit in a chaotic, mayhem-filled way. And hey, she has a degree in psychology - what if we just ignored the original intent and presented her as legitimately good at it? That brings a new sort of pathos to Harley Quinn, if she was a genuinely talented and dedicated person who stumbled once and paid severely for it - and it makes us invested in her quest to find some way to pull herself together after falling so hard.
And... that's kind of sympathetic, isn't it? It's hard to screw up worse than Harley Quinn did, it's hard to ruin your life more than she did, and yet here she is, still trying to pull it together in spite of that. She lives in a town so dark and depressing it has "Goth" in its name. Her ex-boyfriend is a killer clown who is infamous in-universe and out as one of the most cruel and monstrous villains of all time. Her resume consists of "psychiatrist who slept with her patient" and "moll for the most notorious serial killer alive." In many continuities she has permanently dyed her skin chalk white. You simply cannot fuck up worse than Harley Quinn has.
And yet she keeps trying. There's something heroic about that.
Harley has been beaten and abused by the man she gave up everything to be with, and yet she keeps trying. She is hated by most of the world because of her villainous past, and yet she keeps trying. She can never, EVER go back to the life she had, to the career she went to college for, to the stable, normal life she at one point wanted, and yet she KEEPS TRYING. She lives in the world of superhero comic books, where any significant change to the status quo is (almost) ALWAYS undone, where character development is considered a mistake that has to be unwritten, where redemption is impossible because once the narrative decides you're a villain that's what you will (almost) ALWAYS be...
And yet. She keeps. TRYING.
In a world that is determined to treat her as a punching bag, Harley finds a reason to smile, to hope that life will get better, to laugh and try and find love and happiness and joy. And her hope was so strong and so infectious that it changed the status quo. Harley being the Joker's punching bag hench-girlfriend used to be all she could aspire to be, but now? That's just her origin story, and she's become so much more than that.
She's a mess of Red Flags, an absolute fuckup of a human being, a terrible person, but goddammit, she is TRYING to be better, she is trying to make herself a good person, she is trying to make the world smile, and through all the shit thrown her way, she still believes in love and happiness. I don't just like Harley Quinn or crush on her the way I do with other fictional characters - I'm inspired by her. I strive to have some fraction of her resolve, her determination, her steadfast will to survive and thrive. Because if she can make it, if she can laugh so loud that the immutable law that is Comic Book Status Quo will bend for her, then dammit, any of us can do it.
...
Plus she's a hot lady in clown makeup who wears leather jackets and skin-tight acrobatic tights, I mean c'mon now almost everyone's down for that on some level
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sleepii-moth · 4 months ago
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i feel the need to say before i finish this post that im not accusing anyone or "the fandom" of doing anything, this is merely an observation, but i find it really interesting that all of what ive seen people criticize ford for is coincidentally a lot of what looks like to me, as an autistic person, is him having classic "undesirable" or "frustrating" autistic traits, things like lack of understanding for social norms (manners in particular), lack of empathy, being incredibly blunt, and inability to understand other people. These are all traits that a lot of typical abrasive scientist characters have so its not like im here saying hes canonically autistic or anything, its just to me he feels like a very autistic character. which is why its so interesting to see people criticize him so viciously for things that ive found myself doing or at least can perfectly understand his thought process in doing those things. Like one thing ive seen someone complain about is when hes monologuing about how he got fiddleford to join him on his portal, and he says that fiddleford was "wasting his time making personal computers" and i guess to the average person maybe thats rude, like maybe he liked making computers! but to me i can see how it probably wasnt meant in malice or contempt for fiddlefords work ford just knows that fiddleford can do better and doesnt understand why hes "wasting" his time making computers because ford doesnt understand what his motivations are, like fiddleford can build GIANT KILLER ROBOTS and INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTALS, fords probably thinking "fiddlefords a genius he is so good at building why is he building computers when he can make big cool awesome stuff" that doesnt really seem that bad to me? definitely doesnt seem like itd make ford an asshole. And then theres the portal thing and like, i guess how not immedietly saying "are you okay" after your assistant just went face first into a portal to who knows where and is speaking backwards is not a good thing to do, but i definitely dont think that it meant ford didnt care about fiddleford, especially if he expressed multiple times later on how he regretted fiddleford leaving and missed him. to me its like, ford was already mad at him, already probably tense bc theyre testing the portal, then he gets fiddleford out and hes not like actually bleeding or anything (and even if he was visibly distraught i dont really consider ford to be the kind of person to really factor in psychological damage when youre making sure someones okay (and he may have already been used to seeing fiddleford have panic attacks at this point so he couldve assumed thats what was wrong (but also like either way youre gonna be spooked if you just did the interdimensional portal equivalent to almost falling off a cliff))) so ford just probably assumed he was fine, plus hes already there for the portal test so his brains thinking about the portal test, having someone go in the portal is a pretty good way to test the portal so that person must know a lot .. and like still kinda a shitty thing to do but i dont think that means ford didnt care about him thats just a weird conclusion to draw based on how ford acts especially. there seems to be this big idea that ford secretly hated fiddleford and saw him as less than when thats not really true at all, ford even admits in his journal that he *needs* fiddleford and that fiddleford can do what he cant but also that he enjoys his presence and has gone out of his way to do things for him, plus theres so many times where ford really does talk about how much he admires him! fiddleford got a whole page! just about him! when ford couldve just offhanded mentioned him in his journal (that is SO important to him too) he decided to dedicate a whole page to listing off his quirks and drawing a picture of him like thats just pure adoration!! i just think that with all the stuff with bill combining with his lack of empathy and ability to understand others he just comes across as meaner than he probably was
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lizardho · 4 months ago
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I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
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luna-azzurra · 4 months ago
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Some Tips for writing internal conflict
Wanting Two Things at Once Imagine your character really wants to chase after something big, like a dream school, a major opportunity, or maybe even moving to a new city. But at the same time, they’re terrified of leaving behind everything they’ve ever known. Or maybe they’re in a relationship that’s holding them back, but they can’t bring themselves to let go. Show them getting pulled in two directions, torn between their ambition and their fear of losing the people or places that ground them.
Right vs. Wrong Sometimes, your character will know deep down what the right choice is, but it’s the most difficult one to make. Like, maybe they see someone getting bullied and know they should stand up, but doing so could make them a target. Or maybe they have to decide between helping a friend and doing something that could ruin their own future. These moral dilemmas create intense internal conflict because it forces them to question who they are and what they stand for.
Doubting Themselves We all have moments where we wonder if we’re enough, smart enough, strong enough, brave enough. Let your character wrestle with that same doubt. Maybe they’re the kid who has always been told they’re special, but now they’re in a place where everyone is just as good, and they start to wonder if they even belong. Or maybe they’ve been through something tough, and they’re not sure if they can bounce back. These moments of insecurity make your character feel human, like they’re trying to figure it all out, just like everyone else.
Dreams vs. Fears Show your character dreaming big but getting frozen by their own fears. It’s like wanting to ask someone out but being terrified of rejection, or wanting to move away for college but being scared to leave home. Let them imagine all the things that could go wrong , that moment when fear makes them doubt if they should even try. But also show their desire burning just as strong, making it impossible to ignore. That’s the heart of internal conflict: they’re stuck between wanting something so bad and being afraid of what it’ll cost to go after it.
Beliefs Being Challenged As your character grows, the world will start challenging their beliefs. Maybe they grew up in a family that drilled certain values into them, and now they’re meeting people who see things differently. Or maybe they’re experiencing something new, and it’s changing their perspective. It’s like when you think you have everything figured out, and then life throws something at you that makes you go, "Wait, maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time." This kind of internal conflict is powerful because it forces the character to question who they’ve always been.
Keeping Secrets If your character is hiding something, like a mistake they made, feelings they’re afraid to admit, or a truth they don’t want to face, that secret becomes a huge part of their internal conflict. The fear of being found out or of dealing with the consequences can create a constant pressure in their mind. Maybe they’re scared they’ll lose their friends if the truth comes out, or maybe they’re dealing with guilt they can’t shake. The tension comes from their battle to keep it hidden while knowing they can’t keep it locked away forever.
Pressure from Everyone Your character might feel like they’re trapped between what they want for themselves and what everyone else wants from them. It could be pressure from parents, who have their whole future planned out, or pressure from friends to fit in or follow the crowd. Maybe your character wants to be true to themselves, but they’re scared of disappointing people or standing out too much. This kind of internal conflict is super relatable because, at some point, everyone feels like they’re stuck between living for themselves and living for others.
Fear of Failing Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t the external challenge but the internal fear of failure. Your character might have big dreams, but they’re paralyzed by the thought of messing up. Whether it’s competing in a sport, performing on stage, or just trying something new, the fear of not being good enough can be overwhelming. Maybe they’re afraid that if they fail, everyone will see them differently, or worse, that they’ll see themselves differently. The internal conflict comes from their desire to succeed battling against their crippling fear of failure.
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saetoru · 2 years ago
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what’s mine is yours
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synopsis. suguru is a good best friend—he shares everything. just this once, he shares you too
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word count. 2.1k (it's short i promise)
contents. fem! reader, reader is suguru's girlfriend, minors do not interact, virgin satoru <3, cuckolding, fingering, safe sex (who am i ?? jk suguru would not let satoru hit raw lol), petnames (princess, baby, and sweetheart), suguru teaching satoru how to fuck <3
notes. dash pls look away. i am horny at 1 am
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satoru, for all his big talk and loud front all these years, is still a virgin. suguru finds it a tad bit funny—but out of the kindness of his heart, he decides to help his best friend change that.
how? you, of course.
“be careful how you handle her,” suguru says with a sly smile, “she’s still my girlfriend—and i have to take care of her. isn’t that right, baby?” his gaze turns to you, finger stroking your cheek gently as you whimper.
“so wet,” satoru mumbles, fingers sinking curiously into your dripping cunt, flexing slowly to pump in and out of you as you whine. his fingers are long, maybe longer than suguru’s—but not nearly as skilled.
“yeah?” suguru chuckles, “bet you like that, huh? careful though, satoru—don’t get used to this. she’s still mine.”
suguru, the ever gracious best friend, has always been one to share. he decides perhaps he can extend the favor to include his girlfriend too—but you’re precious, sweet and kind and oh so doting. he can’t share you permanently. no, it’s a one time thing—after that, satoru will have to find his own perfect little pussy to savor.
“you really get all of this? all to yourself?” satoru marvels, thumbing your clit as you gasp, your hand reaching over to clutch at suguru’s pants. his hand rests over yours, thumb brushing over your knuckles as he hums soothingly.
“yeah,” your boyfriend grins, “every day. whenever i want. right, baby?”
“uh huh,” you nod—and then you cut yourself off with a squeal when satoru’s fingertips brush against that sweet spot deep within your walls, making you flutter around him with a tight squeeze. he doesn’t find it as easily as suguru, doesn’t know how to angle and curl the tips of his fingers when he sinks into you.
and fuck, satoru thinks, suguru is so damn lucky.
“she’s a vocal one,” he chuckles, “you’ve been living the dream.”
“you should hear her when you use your mouth,” suguru chuckles—how embarrassing. you want to crawl onto his lap and hide away in his neck, hide away from satoru’s eyes that are watching you so carefully. satoru has good eyes—the best, even.
but you also like it. for some reason, when his eyes stare down at you with a darkened shade of blue you’ve never seen before, you feel the slick pooling from your core, smearing down your thighs and glossing over his fingers, wetter than ever.
satoru has that effect on people—even if he is a bit inexperienced.
“do i get to do that too?” he asks, sending your boyfriend a lopsided smirk.
suguru raises a brow, tightening his hand’s grip on yours before grunting a low, “don’t get ahead of yourself, satoru.”
“you said it yourself, suguru,” he chuckles, “what’s mine is yours.”
“not her,” suguru growls. and then, sweetly, he turns to you before pecking your forehead with a gentleness he keeps for only you. “you ready, princess?”
“princess,” satoru repeats thoughtfully, “yeah i guess you’re a bit of a princess, aren’t ya?”
“p-please,” you sniffle, tugging on suguru’s wrist, “need more, sugu.”
“yeah? he’s not doing his job, is he?” suguru pouts in sympathy, but his eyes are laced with amusement—like he’s enjoying the show in front of him. you’re sure he is, if the throbbing erection he sports is of any hint.
“hey,” satoru gasps, wounded, “i’m doing exactly what you told me—”
“here,” suguru throws him a condom, cutting him off, “put that on. you’re out of your mind if you think you’re feeling her. that’s only for me.”
“fine,” satoru huffs. you watch as he rolls the condom over his neglected cock—it’s red, swollen and aching, flushed at the tip and drooling with pre cum as he hisses when his hand wraps around it.
it’s pretty, you’ll give him that. satoru isn’t as thick as suguru, but he makes up for it by being a bit longer. he curves a bit with a thick vein running along the underside of his cock, balls heavy as they hang painfully, achingly full. he’s neatly trimmed—messy white strands of hair unlike suguru’s dark ones. you don’t know which one you prefer, if you could even pick one of you had to.
you watch with wide, fascinated eyes as his mouth parts with a low gasp when he accidentally teases the tip a bit as he clumsily works the rubber over himself. he’s sensitive at the head—just like suguru. gives those sweet little breathy whimpers when his slit is thumbed at. it’s cute, you think, maybe not as cute as suguru—but it’s still pretty adorable.
“go slow when you go in,” suguru warns, “if you hurt her, i’ll kill you.”
“she’s tough, she can take it,” satoru pats your cheek with a sly grin, “aren’t you, princess?”
“watch it, satoru,” you hear suguru growl, “don’t get too comfortable.”
“aw, it’s all in good fun, right? she’s taking it so well.”
you do take it well—you let satoru’s fingers play with your for ages, let him learn where to find that sensitive spot is in the back of your walls, let him rub your clit slowly—even if you ache for those fast circles suguru always gifts you with. and now, you’re even letting him slide into you, slowly but surely, inching his hardened cock into your impatiently wet cunt with agonizing patience.
“that feel good, baby?” suguru asks you once satoru’s buried to the hilt, splitting you almost in two as you breathe unevenly and nod. and satoru? well, he’s not faring any better—grit teeth and clenched jaw, panting harshly as he focuses on not cumming right then and there.
you’re tight—way tighter than his hand, and way warmer too. fuck suguru for making him wear the condom, and fuck suguru for landing such a perfect pussy too. he doesn’t know how he’s meant to go back to using his fist after a taste of this.
“you can move now—go slow at first, and then go faster when she’s close. she likes that. and don’t forget this,” suguru’s hand travels to your clit, giving a soft little pat that makes you whimper before he rubs it with those quick circles you love so much. “she likes when you touch this too. they all do—so when you get yourself your own girl to fuck, make sure you remember that.”
“i know what the clit is,” satoru grumbles, “i’ve watched porn, y’know.”
“i bet,” suguru chuckles, “is this your first time seeing a clit in person? pretty, isn’t it? everything about her is pretty.”
“suguru,” you whine in embarrassment, burying your head back into the pillow as much as you can, “you talk so much.”
“baby,” he insists, “someone has to humble him. he’s all bark and no bite.”
“i can too bite,” satoru grunts—and to prove it, he angles his hips to pull out, almost completely, before thrusting back into you. you cry out—clutching suguru’s hand tightly as your tits bounce. satoru let’s out a choked moan, gasping as you squeeze around his sensitive cock, eyes fluttering shut with pleasure.
it’s so good. suguru has it so good. you’re so good—perfect, even.
“f-fuck, more, need more,” you sob, and because suguru can’t help himself, his hand grabs at your tit, pinching and tugging at your nipple as he lets you squeeze his other hand in yours. “please, please—faster.”
“you heard her,” suguru hums, “she needs it faster.”
satoru’s good at fucking you—for his first time, he’s got your back arching and toes curling rather quickly. the blunt head of his cock brushes against your sweet spot with ease, long and curved enough to nudge against it with every roll of his hips. of course, no one knows how to fuck you until you see stars like suguru—but he comes to a close second.
your gasps have turned into long, wanton moans, and satoru moans in sync, head falling next to yours on the pillow as his breath fans over your shoulder with every harsh pant. his hips are rutting into you, slamming desperately as he feels you squeeze around him with every deep thrust. you can hear the squelching sound of your arousal as he bullies into your dripping cunt, smeared along the insides of your thighs. it’s messy, it’s rushed, it’s desperate and it feels so, so good.
satoru has never felt this good—and you? well….you have to admit you’ve never felt like this before either. it’s new, maybe not better, but certainly not worse.
“oh, fuck,” satoru groans, voice cracking as he whines against your shoulder, “f-fuck your so tight—‘s so good. so, so good….’m not g-gonna last much longer.”
“are you close, baby?” suguru strokes your cheek, watching as your eyes squeeze and your face twists in pleasure, “can’t have him be the only one cumming. that’s no good.”
“close! ‘m…’m so close, sugu. gonna cum,” you gasp as you nod.
if satoru wasn’t so lost on the feeling of your tight walls constricting around him, fluttering so perfectly that he almost feels like he can’t move, he might have protested that you addressed suguru and not him—he’s the one fucking you after all. it should be him you’re telling that you’re close, not your boyfriend. just because suguru is your boyfriend doesn’t mean he’s the one who gets to bear the reward for making you cum.
right now, that’s satoru.
“aw c’mon, sweetheart, you’re gonna—o-oh, shit,” he cuts himself off with a breathy moan, “you’re gonna make me cry. say my name too, yeah?”
“satoru,” suguru warns lowly.
“see? jus’ like that. yeah, pretty? say it just how suguru did,” satoru, murmurs against your ear, biting your earlobe softly.
your hand, much to suguru’s dismay, tugs from his grasp so your arms can wrap around satoru’s neck and cling to his large figure as he towers over you, fucking you mercilessly. his pace is frenzied now—that steady ache building up in his throbbing length is about to burst, and that coil in your belly feels like it’ll snap any second too.
“s-satoru, please—‘m c-close, so close,” you mewl, “wanna cum.”
he grins, blue eyes raking over your body as his thumb finds your clit and rubs harshly over it in that way you’ve been craving.
“yeah? you close, pretty? ‘s good to hear. i am too,” he murmurs lowly, finishing the sentence off with a shaky gasp as you squeeze around him.
and then you fall over the edge—he sends you hurtling into your high before you can ever register it. it’s new, satoru thinks—it makes his hips stutter for a second when he feels you spasm around his cock like that, sucking him in and squeezing around him enough that he chokes on a whimper and cums right then and there too. he thinks it’s a miracle he held out just long enough to cum after you, thanking anyone who’s listened to his prayers of lasting. it’s almost impossible not to finish immediately with how your walls hug around his length.
by now, his hips have lost any rhythm they might’ve had before, sloppily rutting into you as he desperately rides out his orgasm, thick ropes of cum spilling into the condom that separates him from fully feeling your warmth. he’s sensitive—his cock is throbbing even as he lets go of that built up tension in the form of white, hot release. you milk him until he’s almost certain he’s got nothing left to give, dry and worn out from the way you pulse so harshly around him.
“so good—m-make me feel so good,” satoru breathes in wonder as he finishes, thumb slowing itself along your clit before his body slumps over yours.
it’s hot, it’s sweaty, it’s a mess of limbs as he rests over you, still quivering over your body from the aftershocks of his orgasm. it’s earth shattering—how you make him feel. has he really been missing out on this all this time?
“you’re heavy,” you grumble, patting at his shoulder. he chuckles into your neck, catching his breath.
“yeah? heavier than suguru?”
“i’m careful enough to collapse next to her,” suguru mutters from the side.
“fuck, that was amazing,” satoru rolls over, sprawling himself on the mattress next to you, chest heaving as he breathes, “i see why suguru spoils you so much. you keep him happy, huh?”
“oh yes,” suguru drawls, eyes narrowing. gently, he grabs your wrist and tugs at you, making you sit up as you eye the bulge in his pants and the large wet spot of pre cum staining the fabric. “you’ll see just how happy she makes me in a second here—she’s good with her mouth too.”
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idk what possessed me to write this i rly don't. all i know is i want them both carnally
NO PART TWO — please STOP commenting that
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songbirdseung · 1 month ago
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silly boy / park sunghoon
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your "friends" keep telling you that your new boyfriend is too much of a shy nerd for you, but they don't know how much of a man the silly boy is.
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the bar tonight was much quieter than usual, just a few people spread out in the tiny, cozy bar. quiet background music accompanied the murmurs of different conversations shared throughout the room. you were with your friends, laughing and chatting, having a good time, when all of a sudden, the smile on your face faded into a small frown. the conversation had shifted to your boyfriend, sunghoon.
sunghoon, park sunghoon. your boyfriend of two amazing years. he was currently at home, in his home office, working late. while you were out here with your friends, the same friends who never truly understood why you’d started a relationship with him in the first place.
don’t get them wrong—they thought he was gorgeous, practically model material, but sunghoon’s quiet, reserved nature wasn’t their idea of "boyfriend material." they’d often remind you that you deserved someone affectionate, someone who’d shower you with love openly and without hesitation, someone who wouldn’t be shy about showing the world how much they adored you.
but their words always went in one ear and out the other. because they didn’t see what you saw. they didn’t see how, behind closed doors, in the quiet moments away from the world, sunghoon clung to you like glue—superglue, even. he wasn’t loud about his love, but it was there, steady and unwavering, in every little thing he did. it never bothered you how he presented himself to others; his love for you was real, even if it wasn’t on display for everyone to see.
"i can’t believe you’ve made it this long with him," one of your friends said, breaking your thoughts.
you sighed, rolling your eyes. the urge to speak up, to defend him, bubbled in your chest. "you guys just don’t get it," you said, your tone calm but firm.
"we’re not trying to be mean," another friend chimed in, raising her hands defensively. "it’s just… don’t you want someone who’s a little more… present? someone who’ll shower you with affection all the time?"
you leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms. "he does show affection. just not in the way you expect him to. not everyone has to be loud about love to mean it."
"but, yn," another friend interjected, "you’re the kind of person who loves big gestures, who deserves to feel like the center of someone’s world."
"and i do," you countered, your voice a little sharper this time. "just because he doesn’t yell it from the rooftops doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. it’s in the little things. like how he texts me to remind me to eat when he knows I’m busy. or how he’ll wake up early to make sure my coffee is ready before I leave. or how he never lets me go to bed upset, even if it means staying up all night to talk it out. you guys don’t see that side of him because he doesn’t show it to everyone. he shows it to me, and that’s enough."
your friends exchanged glances, clearly unsure of how to respond.
"look," you said, your tone softening, "i appreciate that you care about me. but sunghoon and i, we work. and that’s all that matters."
just then, your phone buzzed on the table. you glanced at the screen and felt your heart flutter at the sight of his name. the message was simple: "don’t stay out too late. i miss you."
a small smile crept onto your face as you typed back a quick reply. your friends noticed the change in your expression but didn’t say anything.
"he’s not perfect," you admitted, putting your phone down. "but he’s perfect for me."
the conversation shifted back to lighter topics after that, but as the night wore on, you found yourself glancing at your phone more often than usual.
later, as you walked into your apartment, you saw him waiting for you in the living room, still in his work clothes, his laptop closed on the coffee table. his eyes lit up when he saw you, and without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if you’d been gone for weeks.
"missed you," he murmured against your hair.
"i missed you too," you whispered back, your heart swelling with warmth.
and in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you were reminded all over again why their opinions didn’t matter. because this? this was love. quiet, steady, and unshakable.
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beloveds-embrace · 2 months ago
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I dunno if I've harassed you yet buuuut,
I just read the newest take on the text and they'll be there guard dogish 141, and just. What if an anxious little bird just walks up to one it the group and just squeezes into the crowd and just.
"ignore me I'm about to lose my shit" or just stands there and gives a small hi cause they're overstimmed or need a break or someone's been creepy and they see that people keep a wide berth from said person or group.
Hi I'm excited I hope anything here made a bit of sense. Also possible reverse 'guard dog' distribution system, the small bird doesn't find a dog. The dog finds a bird.
You aren’t harassing me at all! Please don’t ever feel like that 😭💕 i love, love both scenarios, so I’ll do the second one later as well. Thank you for this wonderful ask!
The dim hum of the pub was comforting- warm light glowing against worn wood, the steady murmur of conversations buzzing around you. It had been your usual spot for a quiet drink after a hard week, but tonight was different, and not in a good way.
Someone had been watching you, and not in the harmless, fleeting way most people did. His gaze lingered too long, his smirk too wide, his attempts to approach you far too persistent even when you refused the drink he’d sent towards you. When you’d brushed him off the third time like that, you could see clearly on his face that he didn’t like that.
Men like him were common, but that just made them all the more dangerous.
The weight of his presence was suffocating, so you’d bolted toward the one corner of the room where you felt the most secure. Them.
You’d seen them here before- an unassuming group at first glance, but the way they carried themselves screamed “don’t mess with us.” Four men with their thighs each bigger than your head at the very least, and tonight, they were your only hope.
Standing up and doing your best to ignore the angry gaze practically boring into you, you approached their table cautiously, feeling several pairs of sharp eyes land on you. Mutton chops tilted his head, pretty boy stood from his seat slightly, brow furrowed. Mohawk’s wide grin faltered, replaced with curiosity, while the last one’s gaze, though obscured by his balaclava, was cold and assessing.
You should probably ask for their names. If they let you sit you with them, that is.
“Uh- so sorry to bother,” you started, voice shaking slightly. “But…there’s this guy…” You didn’t need to finish. Balaclava’s attention shifted subtly, big shoulders tightening as his eyes flicked past you. Mohawk’s grin returned, but this time, even in the dim light, you could tell it was dangerous.
“Where?” Mutton chop asked, his voice steady but just as sharp as his eyes
You subtly nodded toward the man at the bar, who was now visibly trying to act like he wasn’t watching your every move. The second he noticed who you were speaking to, his face drained of color. He turned away, gripping his drink like it might shield him.
Pretty boy snorted. “Well, ain’t that something? Big man suddenly doesn’t have the guts, eh?”
“Stay here.” Balaclava said firmly, standing up with the kind of slow, deliberate movement that made your stomach flip. The other three followed suit, each moving with the kind of quiet unity that could only come from working together for years. Maybe they were a team? You knew there was a military base somewhere nearby, could they be from there?
Still, you obeyed and stayed behind, heart thundering in your chest as they approached the man- not from fear, but from excitement. Ghost leaned in, his imposing frame towering over the guy. Whatever was said was too low for you to hear, but the way your harasser paled, hands shaking as he grabbed his coat and bolted from the pub, told you enough.
When they returned and introduced themselves, Soap clapped you lightly on the back with a bold grin. “Dinnae think he’ll be botherin’ you again, lass.”
Price pulled a chair out for you, right with their table. “Sit. You’re safe here. Anyone who’s got a problem with you’s got a problem with us now.”
You sank into the chair, warmth spreading through your chest. You didn’t know them, not really, but in that moment, you felt like you’d just gained four overprotective, no-nonsense bodyguards. Is this what celebrities felt like? It was amazing.
“Thank you, really,” you repeated, giving them such a grateful, blinding smile. “Again, I’m so sorry for bothering you like that. It was just-“
Gaz shook his head, not letting you finish. “No need to, love. We don’t mind at all. Just enjoy your night now, yeah? No more of pricks like him bothering you.”
And judging by the way Soap was already offering to buy you a drink and Ghost’s subtle but watchful eye, you were honestly more than okay with that.
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spideyjimin · 3 months ago
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Wait for your love | jjk (teaser)
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—  pairing: firefighter!jungkook x female reader 
—  genre: kind of exes to lovers, parents au, angst, fluff, and smut 
— rating: 18+ 
—  summary: sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
—  words: 577
—  author’s note: here you have the teaser of the fic i’m currently working on 🤗 you have a tiny little teaser below & i hope you’ll enjoy it ❤️
—  tag list: let me know in any way if you want to be tagged when i post this and if you are part of my permanent taglist, you will automatically be added ✨
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Jungkook and his team got called for a car accident involving several cars, and when they arrived, the scene was horrific.
There are probably five cars pressed and smashed one against the other. There are people injured and bleeding walking around the scene. Paramedics are already taking care of them, but Jungkook is walking to the cars to retrieve the people stuck inside. His captain screams orders and tells him which car he should go to.
His eyes look around, his heart breaking when he sees everyone involved and still stuck in their cars. Visions like this are quite common for him, it doesn’t happen all the time but it’s still recurrent. At the end of the day, his job is to save people in this type of situation.
When he reaches the car, he was assigned to, he takes a look at how many people there are inside. There’s just one person, a woman behind the steering wheel. She has her hand on her head, clearly showing that she might have a headache. She doesn’t really move. Instantly, Jungkook tries to open the door, but it’s showing a bit of resistance.
It feels impossible to open the door, but Jungkook sees the woman’s head falling. He’s getting worrier; she’s slumping into sleep which isn’t a good sign as she was holding her head barely seconds ago. He then proceeds to break the window so he can try to open it from inside. There are other possible ways, but it would be harder and more dangerous to get her out of the vehicle.
“Ma’am,” he says with urge.
Eventually, he manages to open the damn door from the inside. A good part of the car’s front is crashing into her. Before even thinking of taking her out, he places a cervical collar to protect her neck and spine.
“Ma’am,” he repeats. “Can you hear me?”
She doesn’t answer at all. Jungkook gets closer, his fingers brushing the hair from her face, but when he finally gets to properly see the woman’s face, his heart skips a beat. This woman is none other than you. His mind can’t start to get lost in the past right now. He needs to focus on taking you out of the car.   
You’re in pretty bad shape.
There’s blood on your forehead, you most probably have a wound on top of your head. There’s also blood at the level of your stomach, turning your green shirt into a very dark color. He can distinguish a big fragment of glass shoved into your belly. It doesn’t look good. Your legs are also completely smashed by the front, causing the steering wheel to be very close to your body.  Hopefully, your legs aren’t too injured. He doesn’t even want to start thinking about all the bruises on your body.
Slowly, he places one hand behind your back while his other hand slowly pushes your legs. He’s trying to be as careful as possible to avoid causing any other injury.  His strong arms hold you once he manages to fully remove you from the car. His eyes look down at your face with evident pain. He notices how you’re trying to open your eyes which makes him think that you’re trying to fight the urge to fall asleep.
“Yn,” he says while walking to an ambulance. “Please, stay with me,” he whispers with despair. “I’ve finally found you, and I can’t lose you right away.”
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innerfare · 4 months ago
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Kisses - Part 1 
Summary: How do they kiss you?
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, Kid
Genre: Fluff, Slight Smut
CW: Slight Smut so I'll say NSFW // messy kisses, hickies, brief implication of oral sex
——— 
Luffy:
So greedy, probably the greediest kisser in history. Uses lots of tongue, too. Grabs you by the hair and jerks your head back so he can better shove his tongue down your throat. The sloppiest kisser known to man, not that anyone would ever know. He always gives you sweet pecks when there are others around that leave them unaware of just how hot and heavy it gets behind closed doors. Gets annoyed if you try to kiss all over his face and bats you away, but if you want to rile him up, this is most definitely the way to go. 
Zoro:
His kisses are a bit lazy, but deep. Also lots of tongue, to the point he’s used tongue when kissing you on the cheek without even realizing. Takes kissing you very seriously, gets grumpy if you two haven’t made out a little bit during the day, expects to make out with you at bedtime. If you try pulling away before he’s had his fill, he’ll tell you to stop and put a big, calloused hand on your cheek to pull your lips back to his. His eyes actually roll into the back of his head when you kiss his chest and shoulders. 
Sanji:
Always starts out sweet, mostly because he’s paralyzed by the fact that you’re kissing him. Even if you’ve been in a relationship for years, pressing your lips into his makes him freeze because he’s worried that if he moves, his heart will explode. As he gets used to it, he’ll gingerly place his hands on your cheek, maybe even experiment with tongue. He can’t get enough of your kisses, but he also lets out a breath when you stop kissing him because he can finally breathe again. Actually lost it one time when you kissed his knuckles. 
Ace:
Usually pretty slow, savoring every bit, but that doesn’t mean the kisses are sweet or soft. They’re deep, the kind that devolve into almost pure tongue. He’ll put his hand on your chin and tilt your head up, leaning in like he’s going to press a modest kiss to your lips, only to leave you got and bothered. A very good kisser, too, not even from experience but simply because he has a natural gift. Has a good rhythm, can get you worked up with his hands tied behind his back. Almost always smiles into it. Melts when you’re on your knees and press gentle kisses into his thighs. 
Sabo:
Lots of stolen kisses. They’re quick but heated, the sort that always promise more to come. He’ll catch you in a narrow hallway and pull you around the corner or else into a store room or empty RA classroom for a bit of privacy and shove his tongue down your throat. If he can’t get any privacy, he’ll place a quick kiss on your cheek or temple, so quick nobody else even notices. But you do, and it drives you crazy. Every kiss is like it could be your last, and it feels so incredible you’re determined to have another. Sweet kisses in NSFW places will earn you his unwavering loyalty. 
Law:
Deep and warm, but not very sloppy. It takes a bit for him to use tongue, but when he does, it’s measured. Doesn’t shove his tongue down your throat, just pushes it slightly into your mouth. Pretends to be annoyed if you get sloppy but secretly lives for you biting and licking his ears. So many hand kisses, too. Often catches your hand when you pass each other in the hallway and place a warm kiss against your palm. Will also mutter things into your neck between pressing kisses into the crook of it. Kiss him on the cheek if you want to see him blush.
Kid:
So messy, so sloppy, will definitely bite your lips and tongue. He’s everywhere all at once, going down to your neck to replace any of your hickies that have faded before going back to your swollen lips. What people don’t know (and he’d kill you if you told anyone) is that, when he falls into bed late at night, completely exhausted and smelling of sweat and motor oil (basically his cologne), he gives you the sweetest, softest kisses, pulling back to gently brush his thumb over your lips before leaning in to give you another. He has also, on very late, drunken nights, allowed you to kiss his most sensitive scars.
———
Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
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angelltheninth · 1 month ago
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Arcane Characters That Are Big of Heart and Dumb of Ass
Pairing: Vi, Sevika, Vander, Jayce, Loris, Ambessa x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, dating, flirting, cuddles, kissing, sparing, muscles, protectiveness
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: This came to me today during my work break. I love himbos and whatever the female version of it is!
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PURE OF HEART: She will do anything, put herself in any kind of danger to protect you. Vi is ready to get into a fight with anyone, stand up to anyone if they're bothering you. The bruises might be there after but she knows you'll help her get patched up. Depending on where the bruises are she might get some kisses.
DUMB OF ASS: Charges head first into any situation and that more often than not gets her hurt. One would think she learned to use hear head a bit more by now. And just in terms of headbutting her opponent. However she defends her attitude by saying that she's the muscle here, so you should let her take care of things her way.
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PURE OF HEART: First of all she doesn't want anyone knowing she has a soft spot for you. She is very aggressive in her flirting both in public and in private but when you're up close, in her lap she will whisper sweet nothings into your ear. After which she will bite it. Don't blame her, she has an image to uphold.
DUMB OF ASS: Sevika has always been a badass in Zaun, but not for her brains. As respected as she is some also see her as a glorified bodyguard that's now dating her boss's cute secretary. She hears these rumors of course but they don't phase her when she's had a few shots of her favorite drink. Not her best moment.
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PURE OF HEART: He is a family man to the bone. And he sees you as his wife even though you're not officially married yet. It won't stop him from grabbing you around the hips and pulling you into a kiss, his tongue tasting of tabaco and your favorite drink. Yes, your favorite, because he wants to taste good when he kisses you.
DUMB OF ASS: While Vander might be one of the de facto leaders in Zaun he's made his fair share of dumb choices. He's forgotten to lock up more than once, leading to the people thinking the bar open and he walked out in his underwear. What made it more embarrassing is that you were right behind him, wearing just his shirt.
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PURE OF HEART: Everyone who met Jayce even once can see that he has a heart of gold. There isn't a challenge he won't try to take out, be it with brains or brawn. Knowing he's smart hasn't stopped you from visiting him a few times in the forge and appreciating the way the sweat rolls down his muscled body. He even flexes for you.
DUMB OF ASS: The amount of times he accidentally burned himself because he was too busy making out with you is astounding. He picks you up easily enough. But then backs up a bit too much, touching or stepping too close to the heat of the forge. Either that or he knocks important tools down when he places you on his table.
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PURE OF HEART: No one's got your back like Loris has your back. He's is one of the most supportive boyfriends you could ask for, husband material really. Whenever he notices you're having a bad day he will beckon you over and scoop you into his big arms. You're not getting away from him or his cuddles until you feel better.
DUMB OF ASS: Among the Enforcers he has always been known as the muscle, and as more than a bit of drinker. But he also tells the best stories. He can be a little crude sometimes, flirting with you and forgetting there are other people in the room. The next morning everyone is smirking at him and he has no idea why.
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PURE OF HEART: Ambessa will crush anyone who has anything bad to say about her, her family, or anyone in her army. Her strength is in her physique, strategy and loyalty of her people. But on occasion she can show her softer side, when it's just the two of you. It's one of her weaknesses, that cute smile of yours that she would do anything for.
DUMB OF ASS: One of her favorite ways to flirt, and have foreplay, is to spar with you. However that tends to attract more than a few eyes. She always acts insanely possessive over you in those moments, her head still in the fight but also getting in between you and her soldiers. it ends up looking a bit like a dance, much to everyone's amusement.
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rafeysbangs · 27 days ago
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⋆˚✿˖ ↷ab riding with rafe
warnings ; mdni. suggestive? not entirely smut..., ab ridiing obviously, kinda fluffy angst.
notes ; someone sent an ask with this but midway through writing this before it just disappeared off the face of the earth :( anyway to whoever sent the ask - this is for uuu. also i wrote this as a more angsty suggestive fluff fic i hope you enjoy it still !
the room is bathed in dim, golden light, the kind that makes everything feel hazy, dreamlike. the soft hum of the air conditioning is the only sound, a stark contrast to the rapid beating of your heart as you straddle rafe's lap. he's lounging on the plush sofa in his bedroom, shirtless, the toned expanse of his chest and abs on full display, and his hands rest lightly on your hips, as if he's waiting for you to make the first move.
“you’re staring,” he murmurs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. his voice is low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine. his blue eyes gleam with mischief, though there's something deeper there too, something softer, reserved only for you.
“just... appreciating the view,” you reply, your voice teasing but breathless. the words make his smirk deepen, though the intensity of his gaze never wavers.
his abs shift under you as he shifts slightly, leaning back further into the couch, giving you full control. “appreciate all you want, baby. i’m not stopping you.”
there’s a flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes, though. even as he teases, you know this is more than just playful banter for him. rafe, the man who’s always been so guarded, so closed off, is offering himself to you in ways he’s never offered to anyone else. and it’s not just physical. it’s trust. it’s the walls he’s built so high coming down, brick by brick, just for you.
your fingers trail along the ridges of his abdomen, tracing the lines that define his muscles. he’s impossibly warm beneath your touch, his skin smooth but taut. he’s watching you, his breathing slow but deliberate, as if he’s trying to steady himself. it’s a rare moment; to see rafe cameron unguarded, vulnerable, completely at your mercy.
“you’re so serious,” he murmurs, his tone softer now. “you’re gonna make me think you’re nervous.”
“i’m not nervous,” you lie, though the way your voice wavers gives you away. his smirk returns, and his hands tighten ever so slightly on your hips.
“good,” he says, his voice dropping lower, sending a thrill through you. ‘cause you’ve got no reason to be. you’ve got me, baby. i’m yours.”
you’ve never been able to get used to the way he says things like that, so openly, so confidently, even when you know it’s a big deal for him. rafe cameron, who’s always been the one to push people away, is now pulling you closer, letting you see every raw, messy part of him.
slowly, you start to move, your hips rocking gently against him. his hands guide you instinctively, finding the rhythm with you. his head falls back against the couch, a low groan escaping his lips as his eyes flutter shut for a moment.
“you have no idea what you do to me,” he mutters, his voice rough with need. his hands slide up your sides, his thumbs brushing over your skin in a way that makes your heart race even faster.
but it’s not just about the physical connection. it’s about the way he looks at you like you’re his entire world. the way his walls come crashing down when he’s with you. the way he lets himself be vulnerable, open, raw, things he’s never been able to be with anyone else.
as the intensity builds, you lean down, your forehead resting against his. his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the world fades away. it’s just the two of you, tangled together, hearts pounding in unison.
“i’ve got you,” you whisper, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you.
his hands tighten on you, his breath hitching as he nods, his eyes never leaving yours. “and i’ve got you,” he says, his voice cracking slightly with emotion. “always.”
in that moment, you realise just how much he’s given you. not just his body, but his heart, his soul, his everything. and you know, without a doubt, that you’ll never let him go.
taglist ;  @rafegetinmybed @sqfewrd @dreamyy-cloud @vampteeth @wtfisastiles @flvredcas @plaidcowboy @sematarygirls @slut4you @kravitzwhore @daryldixon83 @lexavanhuelee @dorcas4meadowes @foolishangelic @i2rapunzel @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @rafestoothbrush ( feel free to ask to be added! idm! )
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We meet again | In-ho x Fem!Reader | PT1
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Summary: It was only one night for fun, you never thought you would see him again. Even less in a place like this one.
PT2 PT3 PT4 END
Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - Pregnant!Reader - Non canon background for In-ho -
Na-eun -> Coworker - Use of (Y/N) - Angst - Suggestive -
Gif by: @el-cheung
The ocassions where In-ho could leave the island and get himself a drink with normal people in a normal bar were slim.
He liked to think of these as vacations of some sort. Even if it was in a lost town in the coast. He still avoided big cities.
The place was nice nothing fancy like he is used to. And that gave him a nostalgic feeling, made him feel like he was not that man, the one making sure the games went on. But another normal man enjoying a drink.
"Can I buy you a drink" A female voice broke his thoughts.
He took a look at his left side and felt his heart flutter, god did you look gorgeous, your hair kind of a mess but in a good way, not too revealing clothes, eyes to die for, that made him think you were piercing his soul, and your smile, it was like the sun.
He gave you a polite smile but refused, knowing it was better for both to not get involved.
Such a coward he was.
"Oh cmon handsome, just one drink and I will let you in peace" You insisted getting a funny look from the barman
"Dont scare my clients off (Y/N)" He called over his shoulder.
In-ho saw you pout at the barman, you were most likely from this town, a local. Someone with a boring life, maybe you worked with lifestock or had a small store. He could picture you having a flower shop.
"Sorry if I bothered you" You finally said feeling his lost of interest and going to take your own drink and get back to your friends who most likely would taunt you for getting rejected.
"Wait" In-ho said making you stop. He knew it was a bad idea but he could not help himself.
"What type of Man would let a girl pay? Let me buy you a drink" He finally said giving you a small smirk. "Im In-ho" He introduced himself when you took the seat besides him again.
"In-ho" You repeated, teasting his name in your tongue. It sent a shiver down his spine that he tried to ignore. "Well, im (Y/N) as you probably hear, pleasure to meet you, visting the town?"
In-ho signal for the barman bring two more drinks while he nodded at you. "You can say that..."
"And? Are you liking it so far?" You asked taking a sip from your drink keeping eye contact.
"The views are...quiet splendid" He responded not taking his eyes off from you.
~○~○~○~○~○~○
One drink made him feel more relaxed, he could talk without having to take his words under much consideration, the next one made his body feel hotter, specially when you would touch his arm or shoulder and laught at something he commented.
Most likely it was not that funny.
And drink after drink, it got you two closer, talking quietly like you two were exchanging deep secrets. Faces red, eyes open looking for something more.
"Do you wanna leave with me In-ho?" You asked in a whisper one hand on his chest.
Oh, he really wanted to. He wanted to end this night with you screaming his name over and over again. Maybe he would fuck you so good you would not even be able to forget about him.
"Aren't you too drunk?" He asked, always the gentlemen.
You just scoffed at him but did smile, feeling warm because of his worry, most men would jump at the offer.
But he was not like most men.
"Im fine, im sure about this. I want to leave this place with you"
In-ho payed for the drinks and left with you that night.
And just as he had planned he got you screaming his name till no end. Till you cried that it was too much but kept pulling him closer.
It was messy, it was long, sweat fell from your tangled bodies. It was as it you two were made for each other.
The next morning In-ho woke up first, he could not help but let out a soft smile, seeing your sleepy face, hair a mess, and the marks from last night.
He was temped for another round...
But his phone buzzed.
He groaned taking it already expecting problems.
"Sir..."
And just like that the dream ended. He had to leave you like that. Not a goodbye or a phone to call. You weren't his first night stand but you were the only one he felt bad leaving behind.
If he had time...he would have loved to take you to a proper date.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Part of you had hoped he would stay, at least to have breakfast with you. You had said you made the best in town.
But no, the bed was empy only his marks stood behind and the cum between your legs.
You tried to move on from it. Telling yourself it was good sex at the end. And that he would not even stay at the small town for much time.
Did it hurt ?
Like a knife passing your arm.
And things were going to get much, much worse.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
"Hey (Y/N) are you alright in there?" The voice of your worried coworker called from outside the bathroom stall.
You went to respond but feel another gag coming making you unable to.
"Im fine, just morning sickness" You finally said, breathing hard and sweating while getting out from the stall.
"Oh be honest, I have a sister you know? Who was pregnant recently" You coworker insisted getting close and gently giving your shoulder a squish. "You are not alone in this" She smiled gently.
You wanted to believe her, but the reality was not on your side.
Yes, everything is fine, you just have a baby whos father left after one night stand. The man never tried to contact you again or leave a fucking note. And you were so wasted you forgot the after day pill.
Fuck it all.
On top of that, you had to leave the small town after load sharks came looking for your brother who being an amazing brother left a debt, and since your parents were long dead and you were the only family left, the debt fell on you.
Which made you have to move from the small and calm town to Seoul, under the threats of the fuckers on making the town suffer if you did not pay.
Part of you believed they were too lazy to travel between the town and Seoul. But you did not want to put the place at risk so you left.
And now here you were, in a shit job in a hole that dared to call itself "bar", alone, with debt and barely doing any money for you. All went to pay the debt, part for the rent and other part to get the healthiest food you could get for you and your baby.
"Why dont you move in with me?" Your coworker suddendly asked, "We can divide the rent, you would get more money for you and the baby"
"Are you sure? I dont want to be a burden"
"Its fine, I would not offer it to you if I was not sure"
And you found yourself crying, over happines for the first time.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
In-ho had to get back to the Island for the next games. Things were moving in their place, getting players and new games. The classic "red light green light" needed to stay since it did clean off most players, the most weak ones in his opinion.
His mind would wonder to you. He had no idea why, after all you two did not know each other on a deep level. And yet he found himself repeating that night. Not only the sex, it was amazing, maybe the best he had in a long time. But also your confidence, how you had approach him first, then respectfully you tried to get away once he gave you a negative response at first.
He had a fair amount of insisting women and it made his skin crawl in disgust, but no. You were not like that.
And your eyes, and smile. In-ho thought he could let lost in these, he could stare at your eyes all day and night, watch you in the dark and just feel happy because he was with you.
Him, a respected and feared man, who had everything when it came to power. He found himself wanting you, by his side. Maybe he could get back to that town and look for you. Date you like a proper Man and maybe, just maybe you would return with him.
He knew he was being selfish, being with him would mean saying goodbye to a normal life. A quiet life you most likely had.
It was a inner battle, the wish to keep tabs on you, so he could properly approach you next time and have the upper hand. Also, there was a need to keep you safe. He was not sure why, he just felt it.
However, things were never that easy.
The phone from his office rang, he picked up with his mask on, his voice muffled by it.
"Sir, player 456 its causing problems outside"
In-ho let out a very long breath trying to collect his thoguhts.
"I will deal with him myself"
And like that, the ideas of going after you were pushed aside, he needed to fulfill his task as The Front Man first.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
You held the picture in your hands while you waited for the next train. Your baby, or well it was suppos to be your baby, you could not make much of the shapes but the Doctor had said it was healthy and that was enough for you.
"Hey little one" You whisper passing one finger over the photo not caring about the rest of the world right now.
But life seemed to like taunting you.
"Excusme Miss" A well dress Salesman talked to you his smile gentle yet kind ot intimidating. "Would you like to play a game with me?"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
"What happened to you!!" The suprise scream from your coworker and now roomate filled your ears as you entered the small aparment.
"Nothing, dont worry about it" You tried to go pass her but she held you in place.
"Nothing? Your left cheeck its all red! Did someone attack you?"
"No, nothing like that. Please I dont really want to talk about it..."
Honestly you could not understand what had happen. You two played ddakji and you lost. In order to make up for it you got slapped. Lots of times you were about to leave but the Man would say something about money and motion to the photo you had. You were furious but kept playing till you won.
You got a card and a few wones, he said how he felt pity over you and to call the number on the card if you wanted to win more money.
The exchange was strange, bizarre, the only thing telling you it was real was the money you had in your pocket and the card.
"Put some ice on it" Na-eun told you going to get it herself. "Did you get the picture?" She screamed even if she was not that far away
"I did"
"Oh let me see!! I want to see my nephew!"
"Na-eun, i dont know the sex of the baby yet" You responded taking the ice and passing her the picture.
"Its a feeling, I can tell its going to be a boy"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Life was good for a few more weeks, as good as it could be in your current situation.
But saddly it did not last.
"What..."
"Im sorry (Y/N), my sister called me. She needs me at her home. I cant stay any longer in Seoul" She said between cries knowing you would have no one if she went away.
"Hey, dont cry. Its your sister, I understand" You said trying to reassure her that you would be alright but still...it was a hard pain to take.
"I will pay my part of the rent till next month but after that...she trailed off"
"Dont worry, I will find a way" You smiled at her trying not to worry.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
That same night you called the number on the card, knowing your life would just get harder and harder now that you were alone once more.
After saying your name and birth date you were told of a place to be on a specific day and time.
"Stay calm little one, we will be ok" You said caressing your growing belly. "Mom will take care of everything"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
The next thing you knew you woke up in what seemed to be a big room with multiple beds. It was cold, your old clothes were replaced by what resembled a sports suit. The number "344" adorned your chest.
The peopel around you seemed as confused and lost as you were. Fear started to creep inside you, maybe you screw up? Maybe this was human traffic? What would happen to you? And your baby?
You saw another female player who seemed just as lost as you and...wait it could not be.
Was she also pregnant?
Thinking you had nothing to lose you went near her. Not too sure what to say at first.
"Hello, you dont happen to know whats going on?" You asked knowing the answer but looking to make small chat.
She looked back at you then at your lower belly, the confliction in her eyes was clear as day.
"No I dont, how..how long are you due?" She asked nervously but also feeling better that there was someone else in the same situation as her.
You smiled, "A few more months, you?" She responded making your smile bigger. "Looks like we are in the same boat, player 222" You said seeing her number "Want to, stick together till we know whats happening?"
And like that, you made your first friend inside the games.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
After the long introduction the pink guards gave to all of you, they guided the group around a maze of colorfull stairs, you looked over player 222 making sure she was alright, you had to make small stops yourself. Behind you stood a player, 456 who seemed to notice your state and did not mention a thing, if nothing his face seemed to pale at it.
The guards finally left all of you in a big area, up front was a doll and a white line. Your mind went to think on the words from the guards, this was a kids game, it should be easy right?
"Hey 222, stick with me" You called a bit worried over her and you. If this game included running then it would be a challenge for you and her.
But you could do it, you had to do it.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
The splash of blood on your face made you want to vomit, move and run away. But the screams from player 456 stopped you. Reminding you that if the doll dectected movement then you would be shot.
"It cant see on your blind stops" He screamed moving his hand behind his back to show all of you. "Make a line, short ones behind tall ones, we will move together"
You gulped but did as he said getting behind a player with the number 390, who also noticed your state and looked worried.
"Im fine" You assured him stopping when the doll also stopped singing.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
Like any other year In-ho stood in his room seeing the first game, a glass of whisky being his only company.
He could not see the faces of all players, too focus in Gi-hun and his attempt to save everybody. However, years of being a detective and watching this game made him have a critical eye, he saw two, two pregnant woman in the game, struggling but not giving up. He felt a tug in his heart, he knew this was to make games more interesting, to have players of all ages and circumstances, but even him, someone who was once part of them could not shake the uncomfortable feeling.
"It cant be" He whispered seeing you move, something from you called him, like he knew you. But that could not be right? You were in that town, safe, living your life.
How wrong he was.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Once the game was over the need to vomit returned stronger, you held it back not wanting to bring attention over you.
Both player 456 (who he presented as Seong Gi-hun, and player 390 (who said his name was Jung-Bae) went to you. Asking if you were alright or needed anything, even if Gi-hun knew he could not get you a single thing.
"Im ok, I will survive, Thanks for your directions during the game Seong" You thanked the Man who nodded
"You can call me Gi-hun"
"344!!, 344!!" The screams of 222 filled your ears, you turned to see her and hugged her.
"Oh I was so worried over you, over both of you" You added quietly
"I lost you in the crowd...You are fine?"
You made a face, honestly the situation was far from fine but you needed to be strong.
"I will make it, will you tell me your name now?"
"Its Jun-hee" she responded in a low tone.
"(Y/N)" You pointed at yourself then at your belly "Little one"
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Voting. You could vote to be out and walk with some money. In all honestly it did not cover your debt at all. But you prefer walking out alive, able to raise your baby than getting both dead.
"I will help all of you" The voice of Gi-hun cut off your thoughts, a small circle with him, his friend and Jun-hee was formed "Just help me to stop these games, peopel will keep dying if not"
"Im in" You said to him who nodded back.
The voting was thight, you had to held onto Jun-hee arm to not fall because of how nervous you were. Jung-Bae tried to calm both of you, saying most likely the Xs would win.
But it was a tie, a tie and only one player. Player 001 was going to break off. You did not see his face only his back, he took a moment to decide.
He pressed circle, the games will continue. And when he turned around you felt your soul leave your body.
It was him, In-ho the man who you had one night stand and left you pregnant with no way of contacting him.
The same man who's final vote would force you to continue playing.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
The dinner was....bad. That was the only word for it. You forced yourself to eat thinking in your baby, Jung-Bae was kind enough to give you his milk, you decided to divide it with Jun-hee who was also gratefull.
When circle players came, asking Gi-hun about next game you wanted to pull their eyes out. They were using him, like a secret card to win. But Gi-hun seemed unbothered, he said what the next game was and even told them that he would share it with everybody.
Some walked away angry, and giving Jun-hee and you some nasty looks, guess no one wanted two pregnant woman around.
"Ignore them" Dae-ho another player who had voted X and kind of formed a small friendship with Jung-Bae said to Jun-hee and You.
"Can we talk?" The voice of player 001 came as a suprise to all of you, but the suprise was bigger when they noticed he was talking directly to you.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~
Both of you walked away from the group needing privacy from them.
"What are you doing here?" In-ho asked taking your arms. The last person he would bet being here was you. You looked fine when he last saw you, not like a person who would be in debt. Besides you were from a small town, the organization moved between big cities.
Just...what had happen?
"Hello (Y/N) How are you doing? Or did you also forget my name too?" You responded too angry, confused and stressed.
He pressed his lips in a thin line to calm himself down. No, he could never forget your name. You filled his dreams every night, he did promise to himself he would go back to you once this games were over.
He never expected or wished that you would came to him, to this place.
"You cant be here" It was more like to negate himslef the fact that you were indeed here. "Its too dangerous for you and your baby" The last was said so softly it almost made you feel bad.
Almost.
"Well, thank you for making all of us play another round" You responded going to get away from him but he held you in place.
"I was not the only one who voted to stay"
"No, you were not" you did give him the reason "But your vote was the one that broke the tie. Sorry if I feel inclined to be angry at you.
In-ho gulped, no you were right to be angry, specially since you were not only fighting for your life but the baby in your belly.
"The baby..." He trailed off, the question clear but he found himself scared to say it out loud.
You took a long deep breath, you had imagined finding him and telling him about the baby, you never pictured it would be like this. But luck was never on your side.
"Yes, its yours. I wanted to tell you, but you ran away and left me no way of contacting you" A small pause to get your words together "Listen, I wont ask anything from you, we had a good time and thats it"
No. No he could not ignore it. First, you plagued his nights and days, making him feel like he was young again and having his first crush. Then you appear here, pregnant with his baby no less.
How could he ignore it? When a family with you was one of the many dreams he had. Even if it was like he was going too quick, thinking too fast when you two only shared a night.
"No, listen. Im sorry for leaving like that, I dont expect you to forgive me or understand me" He could not tell you why he had left, why he never contacted you. "But I promise I will take care of both of you. No harm will be done to you or to our baby"
Hearing him say "our baby" made you want to cry but you did not know he was able to protect you, to you he was just another player.
"Dont make promises you cant keep. And dont worry I have managed fine this last months" You said leaving him behind and returning to the group that were not so casually looking at the exchange.
Once you made it back you went directly to your bed, needing to rest just for a bit.
"Who was he?" Jun-hee asked softly
"No one, he is no one"
Jun-hee had a feeling about who he was but decided to be silent out of respect.
~○~○~○~○~○~○~○
In-ho saw you go, his hand moving to fists by his side. He wanted nothing but to have you moved out from the games. Maybe you could stay in his room till all ended. You would be well taken care of, would make sure the most trusted Doctor of the island checked on you and his baby.
A baby, a life. Something he had made on accident but did not mean he did not want it. No, he did. He could see you, him and the baby, the three of you living together, he would teach his kid so much and love you till death.
Was he becoming obsess? Maybe.
Did he care? No.
He would do whateve he could to keep you and his kid safe.
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