#i wasn't sure how to word them

[arc852]

Gosh, I have no idea how I'm going to put this into words but I'm gonna try my best.

I have a lot of feelings about Jimmy's canary status and such.

For four seasons he has been the first out, he's the canary. He signals the start of the end and for four seasons that was very true. And Jimmy hated it. He hated being out first everytime. Everyone around him either pitied him or made fun of him for being out first and Jimmy started to hate himself for how bad he was at the game.

And then came Secret Life.

As we all know, he wasn't the first out. And he was ecstatic. Even after dying second not ten minutes later, he cared more about the fact that he wasn't out first. He claimed the curse was broken and now we continue to see this into Wild Life.

Now, where am I going with this?

I think the Watchers are doing this on purpose.

There has always been something about Jimmy that the Watchers have clung on to. And up until this point, I thought the Watchers despised him. I mean, being the one cursed to always be out first, to be the one that warns your friends of their deaths, that's not fun. That's straight up torture.

But now, I don't think they despise him. I think they see to use him.

Think about it! The Watchers, for four seasons, have pummeled Jimmy's self confidence into the ground. Has made everyone see him as a loser. He started getting hopeless, started feeling like nothing was ever going to change.

And then it did change, in Secret Life, and he wasn't out first. Now, being out second is really not any better but it wasn't about that. Jimmy was starting to feel like, maybe he could actually do this! Maybe he could even win.

And then session 3 of Wild Life happened.

The Watchers did this on purpose. They gave him hope by not being out first in Secret Life and then let things get crazy in session 3 of Wild Life for Jimmy. Jimmy had it pretty bad in session 3 and I know a lot of us didn't have a lot of hope for him after that. Of course, session 4 went a different way than we were all expecting but again, that kind of plays into things.

The Watchers have torn Jimmy down, given him a little hope, and then tore him down again. And they did this to get Jimmy right where they wanted him.

Because Jimmy, before session 5, prayed to the Watchers. He asked them, begged them to please not let him be out first. To please let the canary curse well and truly die.

And they answered.

And Jimmy wasn't out first.

And now Jimmy is putty in their hands.

[tomaturtles]

IT'S KAWOSHIN DAY!!! As well as the last day of Kawoshin Week :') It's been such a blast, gonna miss it when it's over

Kawoshin Week Day 7: Cuddling/domestic fluff! + Sleepover and Spinoffs (again)! Based on the Campus Apocalypse sleepover chapter ☺️

[tothefiniteyou]

Something that's been in my head a while concerning the brothers and their "roles", so to speak. This is meant to be about the original Mirage comics, but applies to 2003 and IDW as well. Potentially 2012, maybe more. I don't remember the exact issues, but this WILL contain spoilers for IDW and the original comics.

Raph is the one that takes on the responsibilities no one else does/wants to. He very often has to play the part of the bad guy because his convictions are more rebellious in comparison to what Splinter teaches them, core beliefs and rules that Leo in particular takes to heart. Raph keeps his family in line through his anger, for better and worse, being the one of tough love. In volume 1 of Mirage when they retreated from New York after Leo was almost killed, he calls his brother a coward for not "finishing the job" and goes off to face the Shredder alone. He almost got killed because of his impulsiveness, yes, but Leo's always been about saving his family. So really, he had the courage to face Shredder again because it was for someone else's sake. Their whole fight was kind of gruesome and full of harsh words, but at the end of it all, Leo thanks Raph for it. It's very interesting to me. It shows that Leo, even if he was originally mad, understands that his brother was only doing it because he was scared of his family being hurt again. He sees that it was for his own good, so he expresses gratitude.

Alongside that, I've said before that it's not that Raph wants to be the leader because of the title itself, but rather that he wants freedom, and for others to listen to him. He resents Leo for holding him back, not fully understanding his brother's reasoning. He focuses more on action and less on the consequences of said actions and choices.

In essence, Raph is often the one that has to do the dirty work. His parentification in Rise is even similar to this, having to parent his brothers and be the one to tell them "no", even when it isn't his responsibility. But if no one else is going to do it, then he has to be the bad guy, even if his brothers resent him for it. At his core, he always has his family in mind, even if the execution is flawed.

Raph being thought of as the shield has always felt right to me, as shields can still be used to hurt.

On to Leo - Leo is a very existential person, and that also makes him the most spiritual. Kind of a yin and yang ordeal, with him seeing how there's a balance to things. (I would also say that he needs to assign a purpose to everything, if only to rationalize bad things. It's sort of why he has a bit of a crisis in several iterations when Splinter isn't there to guide him). He's the most "warrior-like" because of the way he values life and honors things like bushido. He'll kill to protect, but that doesn't make him callous, just "strong" (putting this in quotes for multiple reasons). I think IDW tackled this quite lovely, especially when he goes on to have a greenhouse just full of life.

However, I can't say all of this without mentioning the fact that Splinter's teachings are often flawed. I've said before that a lot of Leo's major "arcs" and "growing up" is about becoming his own person and leader, and that's still very much true. Blind Sight is my favorite story to have come from the original comics, and I think it really puts into perspective how Leo struggles to see himself as anything but a weapon. It's that bad habit of his where he must assign purpose to everything, struggling when proven wrong or having to recontextualize things. There's so much more I want to say about him and his role, but a lot of it would be reiterating my points from this post. I struggle to call Leo the sword of the team considering his words to Mikey about how, if he were to throw his katana off the roof, would that be the same as throwing himself. But in Blind Sight, he does learn that he's more than just some sword for his father to wield, and that a sword not only hurts, but protects.

People infantilize Mikey wayyyy too much in this fandom for just being the youngest, which makes me have to pick and choose my words very carefully for fear of the wrong impression. He's definitely the goofball that tends to not take things as seriously, but I think something that The Last Ronin meant to emphasize is that his "raw talent" is from a place of love. It's not that he's not the best of them all just because he lacks focus, it's that he's never seen a reason for him to have to be a warrior like that. Surrounded by his brothers, he doesn't have to try so hard. He'll watch their backs and they'll watch his. He's got the same warrior's spirit as the others, it's just that he rejects some of those teachings in his own way? Raph is often seen as the contrast to Leo, and that's typically true, but I think Mikey can be as well... In a way, Mikey has the most ties to humanity, and that's why I think he's similar to Leo in some ways. Not to say the brothers don't have humanity, but... It's so hard to word what I mean, bear with me.

Being a better warrior kind of means losing his fun-loving and go with the flow nature. He would be less like Mikey. Not to say that being good at fighting exactly equates to being deadly, but that's always a possibility, you know? IDW Mikey is such a good balance and blend of his little shit characterization and his more empathetic side. When he's the first to leave and reject Splinter's ways in IDW, this shows what I mean with him being more strong than Leo's way of being considered strong. He might not be "the best", and he might not tap into his raw talent that several characters mention, but I don't think that's what he necessarily wants. Splinter's idea of strong isn't necessarily the best.... Hopefully this section makes sense and my point gets across that Mikey is both the heart and armor of the team.

And as for Donnie... Oh boy! He has to use a gun in the original comics and actually be the one to kill (since only Raph and Leo really did that from what I can remember), and it shakes him up SO BADLY... And volume 1 just ends with him not choosing to go back to the sewers with his brothers, but to stay on the farm with Splinter for a bit. This is quite a finishing scene after ending a whole war within the city...

Donnie doesn't love his brothers any less, it just goes to show that he's never wanted to be the one to have to kill, and maybe wasn't prepared for it. While Mikey is definitely a pacifist, you can argue that Donnie is more of one. Him wielding the bo even supports this idea, as it can still be deadly, but not as lethal as his brothers' weapons. He's a very soft-hearted person that prefers to invent and give life to machines.

I hate when people think he's any less skilled in fighting than his brothers, because that's wrong! He just doesn't like violence and, dare I say it, I don't think he ever wanted to be a warrior in the same way. His intellect is a mightier and more useful weapon to him, because he can use it to keep others safe and make machines that can do all sorts of things. He'll fight to protect, same as the others, but disarming is more of his goal in the end. This makes Donnie, at least to me, both the brains and armor for the group. He's more than that, but... something something, things falling apart when Donnie is missing in SAINW.

At the end of it all, something you have to remember about all of them is that, even when they grow older, they started out as nothing more than child soldiers cultivated for the sake of revenge. Killing was always in the books, but they all have a different role on the team, and killing wasn't meant to be Donnie's. He helps with plan-making and would probably rather be support than a tank, if that makes sense.

They're heroes but but but. They're just kids, too...........Gripping my head

[frikatilhi]

So apparently after the Tallinn gig, Jere and Bojan went inside the tour bus together and stayed there for a while. Then Jere came out, bantered with the fans a little from further away but did not stay and left the venue. Then the other JO members came out to greet the fans but Bojan stayed inside the bus.

What do you think happened with these two?

Lots of tears, foreheads pressed together, hugs so tight a few ribs were crushed, head scratches, neck kisses, vows of eternal bro-ship, some feels were copped, next facetime date confirmed, obviously.

And then Bojan needed a moment to have a bit of a cry I MEAN SAVE HIS VOICE OF COURSE.

[raystranslationsfestival]

People Who Understand Without Words.

Type: Skit. Character: Stahn (First Skit). Characters Featured: Stahn, Yuri, Repede.

Translation, recording, subbing by Shi. Proofread by Yewfelle.

[herefortheships]

Going to bed. Tomorrow's Halloween! It'd be so nice though if I could finish the outline for the book I wanted to write in November. Don't know if I said it here, but I'm doing NaNoWriMo in November but like, not officially lol. Just a writing challenge with my sisters. I want to start something new. But, so far, my outline is so-so. I do have an outline for the sequel to this other book, but I just want to work on something new. Like a very self-indulgent paranormal romance or something like that.

[divinekangaroo]

just enough to let me drown - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | ?

During S6-E5, starting with Tommy meeting Diana at the narrowboat, how he gets back to Arrow, that particular Dinner, through to Tommy returning home after dropping Jack Nelson off at the train.

Tommy was running out of women who didn’t look like other women. If Lizzie found out, he’d have only redheads left to fuck in his old age.

No. No old age. Only this.

.

Diana Mitford/Tommy Shelby, Diana Mitford/Oswald Mosley, Past Oswald Mosley/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark, Past Oswald Mosley/Lizzie Stark, Jack Nelson, Charles Strong, Small Heath Sex Worker | Reference to Incest, Dehumanisation, Cigarette Burns, Disassociation, Racism, Class Issues, Intrusive Thoughts, Extremely Dubious Consent, Post Rationalisation, Flashbacks, Dyfunctional Relationship, Self Harm, Oral Trauma, Trauma, Plausible Deniability, Close POV/Unreliable Narration, Horrible Dinner Parties, Prostitution, Shame, Hurt/Comfort, Eating Inedible Objects, Vomiting, Pre-Seizure Markers, Where Fascism becomes a Personally Targetted Sexual Nightmare, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Falling Off the Wagon, Unreliable Memory, Hoarding, Orgasm Control, Innuendo, Ethnic Slurs, Trying (so fucking hard!) to Communicate (emotion is the enemy of oratory!), Spiralling, Purposeful Ambiguity, Failed Love Confession/s

.

[anonyanonymouse]

I'm so disappointed I won't be able to immediately tune in on the twst update like usual 😭 I'm pretty sure this is the first time I won't be watching it right after it's up, and not only that, but my early morning obligation preventing me from enjoying the update is going to last FIVE hours 😭😭😭

[loppiopio]

the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅

(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)

it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>

(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)

[bisexualmaedhros]

i feel like the afab trans people* who believe in "male/female" socialization are the same people who talk about how eeeeevery afab person has like trauma from being told to "act more ladylike." i'm not saying that never happens, but it annoys me when people paint it as this universal fixture of being an afab child.

i do not remember a single time in my childhood where i felt pressured to be more feminine. like, i did already enjoy "feminine" things, but i also sat however i wanted and played in the mud with the boys, that kind of thing, and all the people around me were totally cool with it.

i know that unfortunately my experience isn't universal, but that's kind of my point- you can't act like an assigned sex dictates everything about how someone was raised. you can't act like it gives every afab person some secret unique knowledge on misogyny. some of the most misogynistic people i can think of are cis women! when i was a kid and thought i was a cis girl, i held misogynistic beliefs even while calling myself a feminist, and obviously that's common.

like, i'm sure all this seems pretty rudimentary and it certainly feels like it as i say it. but my god, the number of transmascs i see online acting like they're incapable of misogyny makes me feel like i'm losing it sometimes. and i don't often post about it because i don't want to sound like i'm white knighting or anything; i don't want to sound like i'm going "haha wow those guys are crazy, good thing i'm one of the good ones ;-)" and i don't know if this post will come off like that but i hope it won't because that truly isn't my intention.

my intention really is just like... idk if i somehow have afab followers who think like this, please god examine it. every time you accuse trans women of "dividing the community" or whatever, you're closing yourself off from learning something indispensable. but more importantly, you are actively choosing to make yourself someone women cannot trust. the most valuable lessons i have learned when it comes to feminism and untangling internalized misogyny have been from trans women. so many people who were afab seem to think we have a uniquely pure understanding of misogyny, that everyone else can never understand it as well as we can. that is not true at all. i know for a fact you have met cis girls who were misogynistic as fuck. remember that.

*note: when i say "afab trans people" here i'm not "reducing you to your agab" as many people claim. your agab is directly relevant to the post. i mean this genuinely: please learn to move through your gut instinct of guilt/defensiveness. it's only human, but it will not serve you well in the path to self improvement. acknowledge that it's there, and then learn to listen and consider the things that trigger it anyway. that's the only way you'll actually improve in any meaningful way.

[deanpinterester]

i have this unfounded theory that a lot of media is so consumed with trying to one-up each other and be different that they forget that simplicity is often just as effective of a tool in telling a compelling and cohesive story

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

feeling weird mixed feelings atm and I can't really logic them away, ig? on the one hand I'm completely apathetic about it. on the other hand there's a part of me that's absolutely horrified that I could do something like that. the fact that it's still a consistent low-level pain the whole time also doesn't help. anyway those kinds of thoughts are then making me want to harm again to cope with them but also a) it's manageable and b) I currently have a deep horror of self-inflicted pain after the last few days apparently.

[fireheartedpup]

3 7 17!!!

Hi!!

A song you’d choose to introduce someone to your favorite genre:

Uhhhh. I used to use Wanna Talk About Me to convince people country isn't that bad. It worked.

This is how I was introduced to it btw:

These days I'm more likely to recommend someone like Darius Rucker (Wagon Wheel, it was all over every popular radio station here a few years back) because uhhh I am not a conservative Christian anymore. It's been. Interesting. I hate it, honestly. I'm glad I know better now, but believing in something was simpler.

I was thinking the other day. That the fact that I don't want to let go of things like this is probably related to how the church told me to get rid of everything "demonic." I got rid of some comic books I loved because of that. They burned a tapestry I got on a mission trip (while we were still on the trip) because of that.

I don't want to burn it. I want to keep what it means to me and leave the bad shit behind.

Anyway. I don't know if most people know that Darius Rucker is black. I keep meaning to build a list of black country musicians, because they get a lot of flack from racists.

I don't actually have a favorite genre. This one is just inextricably linked with my upbringing.

A song you know every word to:

I'm slowly memorizing most of Dessa's discography, I think. Very thankful for the person who introduced me to The Bullpen.

Yes, it's Marvel. The editing is great. Shh.

Dessa has this line in Dutch that says

"I keep Pope in glovebox, Plath on the dash"

I think that's a good way to summarize her writing. There's a play on words every other line. It's the sort of shit I could probably write essays about. I love her.

You kind of have to be in a specific mental place to appreciate her, I think. I wasn't ready for her at first when another blogger on here started mentioning her. Most of her lyrics are kinda moody and jaded. It felt oppressive until I got sad enough.

She tried to write an upbeat song and came out with something melancholy. She kept trying and came up with one of my favorites, and she's still comparing love to a business transaction. I'm obsessed with her.

"Sealed with a kiss, signed with an epipen

You gotta tolerate some risk if you wanna make a margin

Wanna make a friend? We can live a little large and split the dividends"

Listening to an album feels like reading a book. I like to mix it up most of the time, but sometimes it's time to just listen to a Dessa album again.

If anyone wants a simpler option, I sang Can't Help Falling in Love to myself at least three times today. There's a lot of options here, really.

A cover song:

Haley Reinhart's version of Benny and the Jets. First time I'd heard a woman growl. I want bucketfuls of this please. I'm not kidding, please give it to me

[waitingforminjae]

i really like the eighth sense but the scenes with jihyun and aeri's classmate who did his presentation on hedwig and the angry inch, while dressed as hedwig, really left a bad taste in my mouth.......

idk maybe there's some context that i'm missing, either abt hedwig + the lgbt+ community, or in t8s itself. but the way they made fun of their classmate during his presentation (even though their presentation had a similar message!), and their mutually antagonistic conversation afterwards where they got the last laugh on him just felt very mean-spirited :(

idk it made me think of in skam when isak is dismissive and insulting towards more visibly lgbt+ and gnc lgbt+ people, and esklid scolds him for it, saying that those people marching in their parades are why we have pride, so you better be real careful about putting yourself above them.

like, both jihyun and aeri mocking him and the narrative framing him as somehow cringy and a mean classmate was just so 😐 weird and uncomfortable. like idk maybe i'm just missing a point they were trying to make but it just felt like they took a moment that could've been a moment of solidarity within the community and turned it into something that seemed to mock and reject the more visibly lgbt+ (and gnc lgbt+) members of the community in a very mean-spirited way :/.

[sappy-enby-pup]

In many sci-fi setting, interstellar travel is achieved by means of heightened awareness.

what if that heightened awareness could be acheived through….Orgasms

At the moment of climax, the mind is suddenly rendered open enough to connect to another plane of reality ('subspace' if you will), one that lets you bend the prime plane enough to instantly flipping a ship from one location in space to the other. The greater the release, the further a ship can travel. And while singular powerful orgasms are the goal, multiple at once can be very bad as it might lead you to randomly jump or jump with systems not properly prepared.

And while small jumps or vessels can get by with just a single navigator, larger vessels or jumps require you to be paired with dom, someone whose job is to rile you up enough so that your moment of release is enough to slip through space. The dom controls your orgasms, your abilities, and you.

Thus imagine you are navigator, harnessed to a X-Cross in the middle of the bridge for all to see, a domme whispering to you about how good you are they while whisper coordinates to you, making you repeat them back in time with their preferred method of sensory stimulation, pushing you to recite them faster as your need for release rises until your mind and spacetime momentarily break...

[redysetdare]

Genuine question: What does platonic attraction mean. Genuinely i do not understand what it is supposed to mean.

Some ppl I've heard describe it as "wanting to be friends with someone" which to me doesn't feel right because I don't feel like I'm "attracted" (put in quotes cause im not sure what the feeling is) to the ppl i wanna be friends with.

Then i see ppl saying it means u want a strong platonic bond - like a QPR - with someone? but then i see ppl differentiate Platonic attraction and Queer Platonic attraction so Like... idk what thats about.

basically i am just confused as I overthink everything with the split attraction model and how complicated things have gotten the past few years since I've been inactive in the community.