#i did things bc i liked them. and im very grateful i was allowed to do that

[bisexualmaedhros]

i feel like the afab trans people* who believe in "male/female" socialization are the same people who talk about how eeeeevery afab person has like trauma from being told to "act more ladylike." i'm not saying that never happens, but it annoys me when people paint it as this universal fixture of being an afab child.

i do not remember a single time in my childhood where i felt pressured to be more feminine. like, i did already enjoy "feminine" things, but i also sat however i wanted and played in the mud with the boys, that kind of thing, and all the people around me were totally cool with it.

i know that unfortunately my experience isn't universal, but that's kind of my point- you can't act like an assigned sex dictates everything about how someone was raised. you can't act like it gives every afab person some secret unique knowledge on misogyny. some of the most misogynistic people i can think of are cis women! when i was a kid and thought i was a cis girl, i held misogynistic beliefs even while calling myself a feminist, and obviously that's common.

like, i'm sure all this seems pretty rudimentary and it certainly feels like it as i say it. but my god, the number of transmascs i see online acting like they're incapable of misogyny makes me feel like i'm losing it sometimes. and i don't often post about it because i don't want to sound like i'm white knighting or anything; i don't want to sound like i'm going "haha wow those guys are crazy, good thing i'm one of the good ones ;-)" and i don't know if this post will come off like that but i hope it won't because that truly isn't my intention.

my intention really is just like... idk if i somehow have afab followers who think like this, please god examine it. every time you accuse trans women of "dividing the community" or whatever, you're closing yourself off from learning something indispensable. but more importantly, you are actively choosing to make yourself someone women cannot trust. the most valuable lessons i have learned when it comes to feminism and untangling internalized misogyny have been from trans women. so many people who were afab seem to think we have a uniquely pure understanding of misogyny, that everyone else can never understand it as well as we can. that is not true at all. i know for a fact you have met cis girls who were misogynistic as fuck. remember that.

*note: when i say "afab trans people" here i'm not "reducing you to your agab" as many people claim. your agab is directly relevant to the post. i mean this genuinely: please learn to move through your gut instinct of guilt/defensiveness. it's only human, but it will not serve you well in the path to self improvement. acknowledge that it's there, and then learn to listen and consider the things that trigger it anyway. that's the only way you'll actually improve in any meaningful way.

[uceyliyahh]

Summary; After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3783

Smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso X Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tagged 🏷️

@paigereeder @pinkwithhearts @jstarr86

1.

Have you ever thought about running away? And starting somewhere new? Having a fresh start with things, especially having a promising career?

Tiana was doing that, starting somewhere fresh, living with her best friend Bianca in Cali after her messy breakup with Malakai when she saw him cheat on her with someone she knew.

But she wasn't worried about that man. She stood her ground while focusing on her career as a Nail Tech, getting her money's worth so she could have a place of her own.

She did the dumbest thing ever: She got this man tatted on the side of her right ear. Bianca convinced her to cover it with something pretty.

But she didn't know any tattoos around here; only Bianca did. She contacted a tattoo shop near them and scheduled an appointment.

OMNISCIENT

Tiana was finishing up with her last client of the day before shutting down the shop. She had a tattoo appointment afterward, so she wanted to get this done before she was late.

She focused on her clients' nails as she applied the last few bits of gems to their nails while turning on the curing light and placing their hands under the light.

Her phone beeped as she saw Bianca texting her, probably about her appointment at the tattoo shop.

Breezy💁🏽‍♀️: Tianaaaaa wyd girrrl?

Tiana: I'm finishing up my last client before heading to my appointment today.

Tiana: are you sure they're like legit? Bc if I get a fucked up cover-up, I'm going to kill you. 😀

Breezy: yesssss lele they're legit like this man owns the business chile. 😐

Tiana: oh fr?

Breezy: yes T

Tiana: do they have an Instagram page showing their artwork?

Breezy: yeah, I'll send it to you on Instagram.

Tiana: okay, girly, I'll text you later.

Breezy: bye, girl.

She turned off the curing light as her client looked at her nails with a smile on her face; she was satisfied with her results. Her client knew that Tiana was the shit when It came to doing nails.

Tiana instructed her to take a pose with her hands to show off her nails so she could post it on her IG story. She started doing nails when she was sixteen years old. Her mom and stepdad helped her with everything, and she was very grateful for that because look at her now.

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: ouuuuu girl them are honestly cute asf.

sheloveemma replied to your story: BOOK ME NEXT NOW!

ughitsstacy replied to your story: girl, I LOVE THEM! PERIOD!

shelovekai replied to your story: damn, mama, you snapped.

She looked at Malakai's reply to her story as she just rolled her eyes; she could've sworn she had blocked that man she didn't want nun' to do with his toxic ass; her client paid her with an extra tip due to how much she loved the nails as she told her goodbye.

Tiana smiled at the woman as she went to lock the door, getting ready to sanitize everything before her appointment. She was wiping down her equipment and the table with a warm rag, making sure that everything was cleaned and that she wasn't missing any spots.

She checked the time on her Apple Watch, seeing that she had to leave for her appointment to get this nigga name covered up due to the simple fact that she got tired of seeing it every single time she took pictures.

Tiana did one last check around the place, making sure that everything was back to where it was, before grabbing her purse and turning off the lights as she headed back towards her 2017 BMW.

She entered her car by shutting the door behind her, grabbing her keys as she put them in the ignition, and pressing the button to start it up.

She applied lip gloss on her lips and began pulling out the driveway towards the tattoo shop.

✧.*

Tiana pulled up towards the tattoo shop, turning off her car while grabbing her purse. As she entered the place, she looked around the area. She saw the shop's very cultured aesthetic, and the smell of the place seemed so refreshing to her.

She noticed that two other people were sitting at the reception table on their phones. Since it wasn't that busy today, she walked up to them, and they both looked at her.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Kiara. What can I help you with?" Kiara asked.

"Hi, I'm here for an appointment at 3:50," Tiana said as she pulled out her phone to show them her appointment.

"Ah, you're Miss Tiana?"

She nodded her head yes as she patiently waited while clinging onto her purse.

"And you're here for a cover-up?" She asked.

"Yes, I am." She saw the woman nod her head as she looked up at her.

"Okay, you're set, ma'am. Please have a seat. He will be right with you."

"Thank you," Tiana said as she sat down in the chair.

She was scrolling through her IG, seeing people had liked her story that she had posted an hour ago. Replying to people who responded to her story, she saw a text pop up, so she scrolled down to see who it was. It was Malakai from an unknown number since Tiana blocked him.

Weirdo: mamas, can you unblock me, please? I promise I've changed.

Tiana: Kai you finna get blocked again leave me aloneeee

Weirdo: you know that you're mines forever.

Tiana: tuh in your dreams nigga bye.

Tiana rolled her eyes while proceeding to block his new number. She was thinking, 'nigga probably using WhatsApp or TextNow to get new numbers.' While she was doing that, her eye caught something as she saw a man getting his equipment out.

She tried to make out his features but couldn't due to the door being closed. She would have to wait until she got in that chair, but she went back to scrolling through her Instagram.

Breezy: bestieee are you at your appointment?

Tiana: yeah, I'm here.

Breezy: good cuz Ik your ass would've forgot I'm so glad you're getting that shit covered.

Tiana: yeah, me too tired of seeing that shit.

Breezy: do you like the shop?

Tiana: yeah, I love the aesthetic of it, and it smells good.

Breezy: seee I told you I got'chu girl.

As she was texting away, she pulled her head up and saw the same man standing at the door, waiting patiently for her until Kiara said something to her.

"Excuse me, miss, but you can come in now," Kiara said.

Tiana nodded her head yes, grabbed her purse, and walked past the specimen while sitting on the chair. She placed her bag on the table next to her.

She looked up at the fine specimen, finally making out his features, and boy, was he fine as hell. He was wearing some sweats with a black graphic shirt, and his shoe game was on point. Of course, he had a mullet and ear piercings on both sides of his ears.

His toned muscular body, along with his Tanned skin and salt/pepper beard, it wouldn't be rude to her if she kept eye fucking him while he was getting ready.

"You getting a cover-up?" Josh spoke, breaking the silence.

'Damn, his voice was deep as hell.'

"U-um, yeah, I am around my ear, " she said, noticing that she was stumbling on her words.

It caused him to chuckled a little bit while looking at her face, "You ain't gotta be nervous around me, Princess Ion' bite." She was taken aback for a second. 'Princess?' Well, she hadn't heard that nickname before. Is he always like this with his clients?

Tiana shook off the feeling as he pulled out some designs to show her, to see which one she liked better. She looked at his designs and was amazed at his artwork; it was perfect.

But one design caught her eye. It just looked so beautiful: two butterflies with a cross between them.

"I like this one; it caught my eye," Tiana said as she smiled.

He nodded his head as he took the design that she wanted behind her cover-up.

He pulled the chair towards her and reclined it back a bit so that she could be comfortable. He put on some black gloves while grabbing the tattoo pen.

"Can you turn your head for me, mama? " he asked. She nodded yes and turned her head to the side.

He started working on the cover-up behind her ear. He noticed that a male's name was tatted behind her ear. He had a smug expression on his face.

"So you got a name tattooed on you?"

Not trying to be in her business, but was trying to be in her business.

"Yeah, I got this lame ass nigga tatted on me that I was with for a while until he did some messed up shit, so my bestie decided to hook me up." She said while being still.

"Hm, how long was yall together?" He asked while focusing on the tattoo.

"We were together for like two, almost three years, maybe?"

He smacked his teeth and shook his head in disappointment. " That's a horrible mistake to get someone's name tatted on you. I heard it was bad luck." She wanted to smack him upside the head but couldn't.

"Don't put that on me, sir. I want no back luck," Tiana said as Josh snickered at her.

"It's not funny, you bozo." He rolled his eyes at her while continuing to do his work behind her ear.

They were back into complete silence again, and she kept hearing the needle buzzing in her ear like some type of fly buzzing around her.

She kept thinking about her relationship with Malakai. It became so toxic for her that she couldn't even deal with his ass anymore after she found out he cheated on her.

Tiana felt like she wasn't going to find love again because she was afraid of the outcome, so she kept her guard up around men, especially the ones who tried to holla at her.

"Who's your best friend?" Josh asked her.

"Her name is Bianca. She told me she comes here often, " she replied while continuing to talk on her phone.

"Ohhhh yeah I know her, I did some designs on her not too long ago."

Tiana nodded her head, listening to him talk. His voice seemed to soothe her because it was so deep and raspy, almost making her sleepy, as she yawned a bit while rubbing her eyes.

He took notice of that, "Long day, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah, I'm just hella tired. I'm not going to lie to you." She said.

He just hummed in agreement as he was finishing up her tattoo while turning off his tattoo pen; Jey had sprayed some alcohol on wet paper towel as he wiped behind her ear, causing her to hiss in pain.

Jey snickered at her reaction as she glared at him, throwing his hands up in defense.

"Aye, you wanted this, not me." He said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. How much do I owe you?" Tiana responded as she pulled her wallet out of her purse.

"It's on me, ma; don't worry about it." She looked up at him with a confused expression, which had her thinking to herself, 'What does he mean about that?' Tiana put her wallet back inside her purse as Jey gave her a mirror to check out her new tattoo.

She turned her head a bit to see it, moving her ear to the side to see its design.

"Omg, this is really bomb as fuck." Tiana said.

"Thank you. I mean, they say I'm the best, better than my cousin, no shade or nun." She snickered at his comment as he reclined her chair upwards while she stood up to fix herself.

"Lemme get a quick pic so I can post it on my story." He said.

Tiana knew she was good with poses, so she turned her head to the side, showing off her cover-up tattoo. Jey took a quick picture of it before putting his phone down.

"Thank you; I appreciate it. I never got your name; my fault," Tiana said while monitoring his face.

"My name is Joshua, but people close to me call me Jey or Josh for short—whatever floats your boat, mama." Jey replied.

"I'm Tiana, by the way."

Jey thought to himself for a second while looking at her features deeply. she was a pretty girl that's fahso, and her personality seemed bubbly almost?'Whoever fumbled her cute ass is so unlucky now I'm finna be all up in that.'

"Tiana, huh? That's a cute name for a pretty girl like you; lemme me get your number, lil' mama," He said bluntly as she rolled her eyes at him while he gave her his phone.

He watched her type her phone number in while she gave him back his phone. They stood there in silence as they looked at each other until her gaze shifted towards her buzzing phone.

He watched her walk out his suite as he kept stealing glances at her ass; he knew that thang was thang in that one piece that she had on.

It was almost like he was fascinated with her in some way when they literally just met each other today; maybe it was her features that got him feeling like this with her.

But he had shaken them thoughts outta his head cleaning his equipment up.

✧.*

TIANA

I finally made it home. I parked my car in the driveway right next to Bianca's, turned off the ignition, grabbed my purse, and closed the car door behind me.

As I was walking in the house, I heard moaning and groaning upstairs, which made me realize that Montez was taking Bianca to Pound Town, which I personally did not want to hear.

I went upstairs towards my bedroom while shutting the door behind me as I took off my shoes throwing them on my shoe rack sighing in relief I really did hate being on my feet especially sitting on my ass too.

I fumbled onto my nice, comfortable bed and hugged the pillows until I felt my phone buzz. I thought it was Kai texting me again from a different number, so I went to see who was texting me.

'An unknown number ofc.'

Unknown number: did you make it home safe, princess?

Tiana: who dis?

Unknown number: Did you forget already? You were just here a couple of hours ago, girl.

I had to think about it for a minute since I tend to forget sometimes. The caller ID wanted to FaceTime me, of course. I hung up quickly because I didn't know who this person was until that person called again.

I rolled my eyes. While answering the FaceTime call, she saw a familiar face. That's when it clicked to her: It was Joshua from the tattoo shop.

FACETIME

Jey: now, do you remember?

Tiana: yeah, yeah boy now what'chu want?

Jey: I just wanted to make sure you drove home safe. That's all, princess.

Him and these damn puppy names was going to be the death of me; never had I experienced being called princess like I'm some princess from England or sum.

I placed my phone down on top of my dresser while unzipping my one-piece. This shit was killing me today felt like I couldn't breathe. As I was doing that, I proceeded to wobble my ass outta the one piece hearing Josh snickering.

Tiana: The fuck is funny nigga?

Jey: you, you is funny as hell wobbling like that shawty.

Tiana: Man fuck you, it was really tight.

Jey: mhm

I just rolled my eyes at him and gave him the middle finger. Finally, I got out of one piece and threw it in the dirt bin next to my bookshelf. 'Yes, I read, yes, I'm a nerd.' I was in my underwear while digging through my drawer for some comfortable clothing.

I felt his gaze through the phone, but I didn't speak on it, not understanding why I was getting comfortable with being half-naked on FaceTime with this man I barely knew.

Jey: damn, mama, you got a dump trunk back there.

Tiana: are you flirting with me right now sir?

Jey: maybe, maybe not. I'm just calling it what it is, princess.

Tiana: call me that again imma

Jey: or what?

I ignored him while getting fully naked in front of him and grabbing my towel that was nearby so that I could cover my body until I headed to the bathroom.

Tiana: I'm going to go shower, so I'm going to hang up now.

Jey: nooo, take me with'chu

Tiana: why so? Can you look at my ass or what?

Jey: nah I just wanted to stay on the phone with'chu.

Tiana: sigh ight then whatever you want dawg.

I took my phone with me to the bathroom. As I sat down on the counter table, making it look up at the ceiling, I heard him smack his teeth.

Jey: aye, yo ass betta get me up from looking at this ceiling.

Tiana: my fault, dawg. Lemme fix that for ya.

He seemed pretty annoyed when I did that, but I found it amusingly funny seeing him annoyed at my actions. Meanwhile, I unraveled my towel from my body as I headed inside the shower.

Jey: what do you do?

Tiana: I own my nail tech shop, so I do people's nails and get good tips.

Jey: Fr shawty? shi imma have to pull up to get a manicure from you.

Tiana: I can definitely send you the address to the place.

Jey: Bet that up fasho

✧.*

After taking a nice long shower, I was downstairs cooking me something to eat for dinner while still being on Facetime with Joshua. He was playing the game with his brothers, hollering and screaming at each other like some dogs. I noticed that Bianca came downstairs and came towards me to see what I was cooking.

"Ouuu girl what'chu cooking?" She asked.

"I'm cooking me some chicken in the air fryer along with some rice. I made extra for you and Montez, so y'all can eat after that session y'all had." I said while letting the rice sit.

"Omg, I love you so much, bestie, but who's that on the phone?"

"Oh, that's Joshua."

Her face looked perplexed for a minute, then it clicked, so she put a smirk on her face as I gave her a stern expression, thinking, 'I know this girl isn't going to try to hook me up with this man.'

"B, no, I'm not doing this with'chu tonight, chile." I said.

"C'monn, lele Joshua is a really cool ass person, bro, and then he'll be the first Samoan man you dated." She commented.

Jey: I know that's right, what's up Bianca!

Tiana: Shut the hell up sir

Jey: No need to be rude lil' mama

Bianca covered her mouth after he called me that. This girl is so dramatic. I swear. After finishing cooking the food, I sat down at the table while setting up my phone, and I began eating while watching Joshua play the game.

It looked like he was playing Call Of Duty. He seemed pretty good at the game, but his attention was now on me as his eyebrows furrowed a bit.

Jey: What'chu eating, pretty girl?

Tiana: I made some chicken and rice.

Jey: you ain't gon' share it?

'tf he mean was I going to share it?'

Tiana: Um, no, I wasn't planning on it. Also, how the hell am I supposed to share this with' chu, sir?

Jey: never heard of pretending?

'ight he don't gotta be smart about it.'

Tiana: I guess I can share with'chu then you look like you've been starving sir so here boy.

He smiled like a cute puppy as I pretended to give him some of my food while he pretended to eat it. It was kind of cute and funny, and we both chuckled at each other while gazing into each other's eyes. For a second, I could read his facial expression well until Bianca said something.

"Aww, y'all two look cute, girl. Honestly, y'all would be the cutest couple." Bianca said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Girl, please don't start" I said while continuing to eat.

"Don't be denying it now, lele; you two will end up fucking each other sooner or later and then be a happy couple." I almost choked on my food when she said that, especially while I was on the phone with this man.

I could sense him smirking through the phone as he continued to play the game, and I knew he had just heard what she had said. I'm not going to lie. He was fine as hell, but I don't know where his energy is at right now.

After eating dinner, I made sure I washed my plate and put it in the dishwasher before going upstairs to my bedroom, closing the door behind me and yawning.

Jey: you finna go to sleep?

Tiana: yeah, I'm tired

Jey: What'chu doing tomorrow?

Tiana: I have like four clients tomorrow, then after that, I should be free. Why?

Jey: You wanna go out for lunch or sum

'I don't know where he's getting at with this but I like it.'

Tiana: yeah, sure, that sounds good.

Jey: Ight bet I'll see you tomorrow then.

Tiana: Goodnight Josh.

Jey: Night, mamas.

Under Your Touch.

biancabelairwwe, shelovesemma, shelovekai and 58,999 people liked your post.

tianasworld: he fixed me up quick i love it so much. 😍

biancabelairwwe: that's so cuteee I didn't even notice it I'm so happy you got it covered.

shelovesemma: 🫢 you got his name covered?

tianasworld: @ shelovesemma yeah girl I did got tired of seeing it.

shelovekai: wtf tiana 😠

tianasworld: @ shelovekai don't wtf to me nigga you might as well do the same thing. 🙎🏽‍♀️

A/N: welcome to a new storyyyy I honestly wanted to try something different and I got some inspiration from a story I read on tumblr so I hope yall enjoy this one.

Lmk in the comments below ⬇️ love yall.

Stay Ucey.

[spacelazarwolf]

I thought that I noticed some hypocrisy and contradiction in your posts but I'm not sure so i would appreciate it if you can clarify things for me bc I don't want to assume the worst. I'm just confused

So basically I feel like you are overly harsh on Christians while being very permissive to (religious) Jews. You act like even progressive Christians are super problematic and not allowed to reblog your posts and wtv, but then you turn around and say that all religious Jews are valid and should be accepted, including conservative and orthodox branches (forgive my ignorance if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure those are the ones that are very conservative and bigoted). So basically what I'm trying to say is that you seem to put conservative Jews on a higher level than progressive Christians which doesn't make sense to me.

I understand that conservative Christian, progressive Christians and anyone raised Christian pretty much has antisemitism that they have to work through. (I'm an ex Christian goyim atheist and your blog has really made me reconstruct some things which im grateful for btw!) But at the same time, antisemitism is only one bad thing that you can be.

So like to summarize I feel like antisemitism from progressive Christians is enough to make you tell them to dni but other kinds of bigotry like homophobia, transphobia, sexism etc from conservative Jews doesn't stop you from saying their religious is totally fine and acceptable.

Again, this is not an accusation, but more of a question. (Even though I probably phrased it like an attack in sorry!) I don't really know if I analyzed the situation correctly and I would really just want to have a chill interaction with you instead of a heated argument. If you could please explain how exactly you view this issue i would very grateful but you are under no obligation! If you don't feel like explaining yourself to a complete stranger, you are free to just ignore this. Have a meaningful Yom Kippur!

(sorry for the rambling post lol)

i made the mistake of absentmindedly opening the tumblr app on my walk to synagogue and i did not think i could be surprised by gentile fuckery anymore but this has left me pretty speechless. the audacity to send this on yom kippur is. wow. i regret not locking my phone away for 25 hours because fucking YIKES. please come off anon so i can block you because i do not want you interacting with me or any of my content.

[peculiarbeauty]

not to be gay on main but i am going to be gay on main. it's positivity post time !!! i just wanted to shout out a couple amazing people who have become ultra close to me ( or were ultra close in the past and we reconnected hehe ) this is just a few names, i don't have time unfortunately to write a message for everyone on the dash but please please know that you are special to me if you are a follower. this is never in a particular order.

@seachant - NINI i love you. you are such a breath of fresh air. genuinely a twinkling star that just happened to fall in my vicinity. lucky me tbh. thank you for giving me the chance to be friends with you and write on multiple different blogs with you. writing with your ariel here was such a DREAM of mine. i remember seeing your blog around and just adoring it. we did write previously when i wrote in the fandom but we never became close pals like we are now. seeing your posts makes my day. i'm really happy we are friends.

@dragetunge - MY DEAREST KRIS. we've been through a couple rocky roads together now but we stick together. it's really nice to talk to you. you are the reason i got into httyd. so thank you for that. i wouldn't have took the time if it wasnt for you and I REALLY NEEDED TO. you are essentially the dragon enthusiast of tumblr. i mean that like. literally. when i think of dragon enthusiasts i think of you. fgckjkfg I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KRIS. i cant wait to actually show you my island on dreamlight when it is a fully decked out like yours.

@solehr - sef, i miss you. i cant wait for you to come back and see that i wrote this for you kffdjdf i cannot forget you on this list. you and nini were the first disney blogs to welcome me. thank you for being my friend and allowing me to send you that ghibli movie dkffdj it's been such a pleasure knowing you. i hope for many more memories together. :)

@swevene - DEAREST KELSEY .. my belovedddd. i love our convos even when we are busy for an extended period of time. you check on me every so often and its really an honor to consider you a friend. thank you for being there, i really appreciate it. i hope we have many more memories !!! your beast is so important to my belle, i have to tell you. <3

@oudachi - aka my favorite ark .. in all locations of your blogs .. i could tag literally all of them rn but im not going to dkfjdf we joke about how we always come back together over the years. it doesn't really ??? matter how long we don't talk bc fate brings us back. our first meeting was back in 2015 and i remember you were the realest person i had ever met on this site. that has not changed. i think that more folks should understand how brilliant you are .. not only as a writer , but as a friend. you never leave people out. i've been left out before and it's a very terrible feeling. thank you for allowing me into your circle again after a bit of time of not talking. we picked up like it was such a short time of us not chatting like we were bffs again. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am. seeing you thrive as well OH MAN .. i love that.

@chainmemories - toma, at this point it has to be obvious but when i came back .. you were the first to show me great excitement. making a blog after an extended leave on the site is a scary thing. it is like walking into the lion's den tbh dkfjfk plus there were a ton of big changes to tumblr so i didn't know where to start. it was scary. you wrote cuphead at this time. i've grown to really love cuphead and many other things because of you. playing mario party at least weekly is such a GENUINE pleasure. you make me feel like i have a place in the community. i can't begin to tell you how grateful i am that you are here and backing me up. i also hope that you know you are this shining star of every community you go into. there is not a community you haven't touched that you haven't left your mark on. of course my precious toma is the sunshine protag lover .. but he is also the sunshine protag in my opinion. i don't take criticism. I LOVE YOU.

@ghostbustingreen - spooky, I LOVE YOU. being in the posse with toma and you has been so so wonderful. i am grateful i get to talk to you on the daily about our interests. seeing you write our fav green plumber is wonderful YES YES. every muse you capture is brilliant though. i love writing with you on multiple of your blogs. simbaaaaaaaa. P.S. i am sorry for our latest party shindig where i continued to take the star away from you. i hope you can forgive me. i really hope our group goes strong for a long time because you guys always make me feel so much better.

@dnangelic - HI FAVVVV. thanks for putting up with me changing blogs on you so many times and still deciding to follow me and look forward to my muses. we are SO BACK on haru tbh. i love writing with you. you have such a grasp on your muse and i don't even know him that well. i wish i knew MORE tbh. the things that we have written though are truly precious and i look forward to future threads. i look forward to your responses truly. thanks for being my friend and also always hyping me up.

@matryochka - i cannot forget my favorite hype queen. dottie, you and i met in dc. you decided to follow me on my other blogs and genuinely messaged me when i was inactive there saying pretty much where tf are u dfkdjkfd WHICH I LOVE THAT. i wish more people would show interest in mutuals they care about that way. im trying to recruit you into our disney princess line up . it'll happen i know it. please know i love you so much. our little conversations are everything to me.

@jokethur - jess .. my beloved. also a hype queen and someone i met in dc. i love you. we don't talk too much rn but you are forever important to me. our conversations got me through some really dark points in my life and i can't begin to say how grateful i am for that. i hope that we have many more memories of chatting. always know i am here and ready to chat. we could stop talking for months and pick up just like that. that's how strong our friendship is <333 i love you. AND GIVE DIX A KISS FOR ME.

@pearlcure - DIORRRR my beloved. being your friend is a true genuine pleasure. IT IS PREDESTINED WE MET. we write the best girls out there. good for us. i love our convos and i love how real you are about everything. your graphics, writing, everything ABOUT YOU is amazing. im grateful we are friends and i hope for many more years together !!

@story-magic - AKA ALL OF YOUR BLOGS HERE AS WELL .. but my darling sleepy. i call you sleepy. i know that you have a name but you will forever by my favorite sleepy sloth. you keep things fair for us in the game. if i ever get down on my luck in party, you try to even the odds for me. i am so so grateful to be your friend. i know i don't tell you enough over discord and the like and you leave me a bunch of cute messages to make my day, but BEING YOUR FRIEND IS A TRUE PLEASURE i've gotta tell ya. i'm really happy we are so close !!! <3 i hope for many more memories.

@0brighta - big shoutout to you, ettie. <3 i know we arent super close but you putting me in your little shoutout post made me really feel so grateful. your blog is this shining, brilliant star. i mean that. like, DANG. shine bright like a diamond. i see that people love you and there is a reason for this believe me - you are so pure. so good natured. i wish more people were like you with their mutuals. letting people know that they matter is something a lot of people do not do tbh. you do that. thank you. <3

@naru-uzumaki - NOODLES .. we are back in action after such a long time of not talking. you and i were close back in 2016 i think?? somewhere close to there. when i saw your blog pop back up in my recommended, I LITERALLY RAN TO FOLLOW because i missed you so much. you are still this positive radiant little sun on the dash .. much like your muse. i am bias absolutely but. your writing and your heart for our favorite ramen lover is such a pleasure to witness. never ever change please. <3

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[restinpeacesensei]

@talisman975

THE BABYGIRL IN HIS BAD GUY OUTFIT AGAIN #I miss him in that outfit so much it’s such a good look on him #and I love the way he is just BRIMMING with confidence and sassiness

WAAAAAAA IM SO HAPPY YOU CALLED HIM THE BABYGIRL IN HIS BAD GUY OUTFIT AGAIINNNN!!!! /)//////(\ i.. i love this contrast it matches him so well.. akoya loves being called babygirl waaaaa 🥺🥺🥺 I... I KNOW... HE LOOKS SOO GOOD IN THE OUTFIT OMGG /)//////(\ he truly does ROCK that look waaaa!!! 😭 maybe he can still just wear it sometimes for fun 🥺🥺 i love how you say he is just BRIMMING with confidence and sassiness omg!! 🥺 im so happy you feel him giving off such vibes here waaaa!!! \>//////</ thank you so much for such sweet messages omg!!!! ;;~~~;; i truly appreciate your kindness so much!!! \;;/////;;/💖💖💖

#I swear Akoya and Kinshiro get more and more adorable with every drawing #and OOOOFFFF I understand Kinshiro completely #that feeling of wanting to make your partner/friend happy by participating in what they wanna do #but said thing makes YOU very uncomfortable and you don’t know how to deal with that #and tbf I don’t blame him at all in this situation #but also I just LOVE how Akoya trusts Kinshiro so much and loves him enough to believe that he’ll be okay with this because it’s him #and he says it so confidently too despite the shyness

WAAAAAAA;;;;; /)//////(\ i-it makes me so happy you say akoya and kinshirou get more and more adorable with every drawing omg!! ;;////;; thank you so much for looking at them here waaaa!!! /)//////(\ i am soo happy you looked at every drawing and thought they were adorable, thank you so much for such kind words about this!! \;;~~~;;/

ohhh! ;; so actually, i didn't mean for it to seem like kinchan was very uncomfortable here, but i understand how it can be seen that way! i meant for it more to be shyness, but it doesn't say clearly what he's thinking or feeling, so i can understand it being interpreted that way. thank you for sharing how you saw it!! ;;o;;

;; i think he's asking "is this allowed?!" more in the sense of "isn't this weird? is it really okay if we do something like this?.." than being very uncomfortable (which is entirely my own canon-divergent interpretation, but i did show here he was sort of open to trying it... which has me thinking i really need to finish that series of comics bc i actually did intend for him to wind up being okay with it a;jkvjhsghdl /ive been meaning to finish it for ages but i keep ending up working on other things instead)

that said, OOOOOFFFF i also completely relate to this feeling ;;;;;; and ;;;; honestly, if it makes me very uncomfortable i'll say no ;;;;; if it's something i don't want to do or feel bad about doing, then i feel that i am not compatible with them for doing this thing. ;;; and if they care, they should respect that. you never have to do something you don't want to do!! >.<

but that said, i have trouble navigating this kind of thing as well ;;;;;;; i can understand wanting to make them happy or not wanting to make them feel bad and i relate hard to not knowing how to deal with that... honestly, im uncomfortable with and don't want to do so many things that i only feel comfortable engaging in this type of fantasy where it can involve only the things that i like, and i don't have to worry about someone wanting to do something i don't want ;;;;;;

(for that reason, tbh, i don't really want to portray him being very uncomfortable and dealing with that, bc it would be uncomfortable for me to think about.. for now at least, i just want it to be a fantasy where things basically work out;;)

i want to say also that i 100% understand and don't blame anyone if they aren't comfortable with doing this or talking about this! ;;o;; i am so grateful for your sweet responses, but i only want to talk about it if it's comfortable for everyone, so if i say anything that's tmi or goes too far, please let me know! ;;-;;

BUT ALSO i LOVE that you say akoya trusts kinshirou enough and loves him enough to believe he'll be okay with it BECAUSE IT'S HIM this is such an incredibly sweet way to see it waaaa?!!! 😭😭😭 im so happy you see it as confident despite the shyness 🥺🥺🥺 you're right!! he felt safe asking 😭😭 im so happy you could tell he was shy but also had the confidence to ask omg!! 🥺

he COULD have just let kinchan leave and maybe it would have been easier not to involve him. but he gave him the option to participate ;;; (in hindsight, it would have put less pressure on kinchan if he'd phrased it more like that, instead of asking in a pleading way ;;;; he asked like that bc he felt shy about it, and had the courage to ask but still was scared of rejection.. it's more comfortable for everyone, though, if it's understood that "no" can freely be said without hurting anyone's feelings! T-T)

[pprodsuga]

omggg a snippet just for meeee i'm so honoured u wanted to share something with lil 'ol me. stop it before i develop a parasocial relationship with you...

on a different note, if u will allow me to rant for one wee second.. this is completely irrelevant to anything but i was looking for some romcom novels to read (bc i need to stop letting fanfiction consume me), and tell me why authors pick the ugliest most generic ytest names. i haven't read a real book in a while and i'm so used to reading ff now where even side characters have korean names that the switch over back to western books is awful. i had to stop my search bc wtf is GARRETT and TUCKER. ik a korean name is just a name, there's nothing objectively special, but it's just more unique in the sense that i don't see it often outside of media. the only way to get around this is fantasy books where the names aren't even real names (thank god the book im currently reading is fantasy). PLEASE can i just get an ethnic name and maybe more ethnic characters or something... sob. i just want a college romcom to cope so i can get away from college au's😭 yeah it's fucked for me. thank u for listening to my unsolicited bitch sesh

-comet

just for you, for always being so thoughtful in your words. more under the cut to spare the dash.

your first messages back in june struck a chord within me for two reasons: talking about my writing was an incredibly kind thing for you to do and it validated the hell out of my work. but also, i was experiencing a lot of friendship turmoil that i had to navigate (re: why i wrote never to keep).

i don’t know if i’ve ever expressed just how grateful i am to have read your messages at that time because for that entire month, i felt like i did not have anyone in my life to back me up when i stood up for myself. knowing that you thought i must be someone with a great deal of empathy and kindness restored a bit of faith in me and who i am as a friend. i reread your message over and over again until i could remind myself that i am who i am for a reason. so thank you.

character names are something i think about a lot, both in fanfics and regular fiction. i’m oftentimes taken out of the story when it feels so incredibly yt (but go figure, i’m not white but have a “white” name so i understand that there is some nuance sprinkled in there). but sometimes we just crave that subtle representation in an ethnic name so i don’t have to wait for the author to explain that they’re not….white. in every sense of the word. but like if you’re gonna pick a white name then at least make them sound HOT?

onto the snippet! i’m excited to post this one. no idea when i’ll finish writing/editing but i’m excited that you’re excited. not providing context bc im a menace and will make you wait. 😎 (thank you for being excited.)

*✧･ﾟ─────────── *✧･ﾟ

Sunghoon turns to look at you. “You were always the most unpredictable part of my day.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah. You moved into the apartment next to mine and running into you a few times a week kept me on my toes. I don’t know. I guess I saw you as someone I would have potentially befriended. I could at least pretend I was coming home to talk to someone who cared.” 

“That’s…very sweet. You’re a nice person, Sunghoon.” 

He sighs. “I don’t feel that way. I don’t know when I’m gonna see my family and friends again and explain all of this, but I'm starting to get the feeling that they’ll never hear from me and they’ll never know what happened tonight.” 

“You know,” you begin, “a lot of my life was spent moving from place to place and never having anything or anyone to call home. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you to leave everything behind. For that, I truly am sorry.”

“It’s really not your fault,” Sunghoon says dryly. “Whoever tried to kill you should get a bullet to his head.” He hears you laugh awkwardly.

“Yeah, well that likely wouldn’t solve our problems.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t think that man acted on his own accord. It’s too professional to assume he’s working alone.” 

“You’re saying he’s working with someone else?” 

“Or, he’s working for someone.” 

Sunghoon gulps. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“The price of freedom is high. Remember that.” 

“You know, none of this explains how you know what you’re doing. If you know, for that matter.” 

He doesn’t hear you move for a short while and closes his eyes shut. Once again, he’s found himself slipping up and saying things that don't translate well. Too afraid to speak, Sunghoon considers sleeping and dealing with his actions in the morning. 

“I know what I’m doing because I’ve done it before,” you say through the darkness. “When your whole life revolves around survival, you adapt to the best of your ability and do anything to stay alive. I’ve learned a few things from my time on the run so please know that I know what I’m doing.”

“Who are you?” 

The room is silent. 

“Someone you can trust.” 

[plantwalkingamongstmeremortals]

Thinking about gw2 economic system and how it impacted my break from the game like. I know its all been said before but

Out of the blue there was just one day when i didnt want to play gw2 actually and i just didnt. Maybe i still logged in to flax farm a couple times but after that i just stopped playing for a few weeks (not sure it was a good thing in the end cus those were a shit few weeks but thats not the point)

And at the same time i stopped going to the cinema, and i have a subscription to my cinema where i get unlimited movies for like 17€ a month. And i have some guilt over seeing myself pay for it, even though i know its better than suspending it, bc having to reactivate my subscription if i ever wanna go to the cinema out of the blue sounds like too much steps for me. (and its stupid, i agree)

Gw2 though? Not that much guilt. (Some "what if i never want to play it again and its all been a waste" but 1. thats just me being extremely extreme about stuff 2. things can bring you happiness for a time and stop. thats allowed. it doesnt make all the time and energy and money you gave it a waste.) (also, i technically played the last story patch on release but it was a couple hours it didnt retain me and it was kinda crap so i dont count it) and a few days ago i was like "man, i wanna play again", then proceeded to not play before the following day bc im not a very well functioning human being but did end up just booting the game, downloading a couple patches and just. Resumed where i had left off. Just plopping on some yt video and going on doing some map completion or meta events. And you know what, its helping me get out of my current depression slump. Making me talk w my guildies a bit more because im back in the game - havent been to treasure hunt with them in a while cus not enough energy for late night gaming but i know theyre still there. And its been a stress free, one step process. I just had to click the lil icon on my desktop and my brain was like. Ah yes i know how to make happy juice with that.

And of course it was a short break so i didnt have the experience of the whole game changing while i was out of it, but i still can confirm from firsthand experience that yes, actually, the subscription model wouldve made it more stressful and/or more complicated to get back in. And im grateful.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Im stuck in class :P

Maybe hcs for how some of your ocs/fave characters were in school? (Prolly not Luca & R.B. cause. they're in a school setting lol, but if you want to add them too that's fine!!/g)

Oooooooooo. Hmmmm. I'll do the ones that actaully went to school post their respective stories

Kiran is the funniest to me, bc even before his journey, he was like. A Top Student, the only one he competes with was his little sister. So I feel like he did pretty well in school all things considered. The only thing that would hold him back was his laziness sometimes, which would result in him cramming a lot, and then burning out immediately after, and then he would just sleep for a thousand years. It doesn't help that this guy can get stressed fairly easily so what should have been a walk in the park is just stressful to him, and he. Honestly only has himself to blame lmao. He still gets straight A's though lol.

Amber is much like her dad: deeply prefers hands on experience. Being the professors daughter, she technically was pretty much home-schooled, being allowed to travel as she please....but she did want her degree so. College it is. And maaaaaaaaaaaaan it was a drag. It wasn't terrible by any means, but anything that wasn't field research, or anything that was outside was tough for her. Being from a small town herself also kinda made her feel a bit out of place. That being said, she is grateful for the experience, especially in knowing how to handle herself in a lab + actually writing papers/ doing paperwork ( her arch nemesis btw). Still she was very happy for it to be over. She still hates doing paperwork.

Beryl is honestly like. The right in the middle between Kiran and Amber. As in they honestly had a fairly normal school life. They're decent at both indoor and outdoor activities, so honestly they're school career is pretty solid.

As for canon characters, the one that first comes to mind ( and probably the only one I'll talk about lol) is Blue.

In my canon, Blue goes to Kalos for college/university. I think in general, he does really well there. He's smart, very smart, and can apply himself greatly. However, that's kinda the broad strokes of it. In detail I think the college life is a bit of a struggle. Because it's where Blue really begins to question what he wants to do with his life. He thinks that following the path of his grandfather would suit him, and he's trying to like. Do that. He really is, and he's good at it but it just doesn't fit. So now he's forced to really think about what he wants, who he wants to be, what his legacy is, and that's honestly something he hasn't thought about....since he was a kid really. Overall, I think Kalos was good for him. I think he needed to be away from Kanto to really have that space to think about himself.

[zak-shit]

sweet life

today is still messy. but better than the last few....? i haven't truly been great with eating again. kinda not having regular meals unless I'm with lo.. even then i kind of have to force myself. which isn't good i know.

last night she came up with a new rule to only have hook ups if she's able to make content out of it, and also be into it. doesn't want to just get people off. which makes me feel much better. I'm glad she doesn't just want to get other off. and i defiantly want her to be into it. it being done for content as a priority, makes me feel much less disregarded, and comfortable with the situation.

she did kind of ask if she could top if it was for content, to which i most defiantly did not like and shut down. 100% not ready for that. and the fact that it was asked/ wanted from her kind of hurt. and overshadowed the development above. she did say she hasn't came across anyone else she wants to top. very glad to hear that, and i would hope not. i guess it just also threw me off, because I was having this feeling apart of her no longer wanted to be a top. which could still have truth in there in some ways. I feel like im being generous allowing her to get head from others if she wanted. bc of course I want to be the only one, but i still want her to defiantly get pleasure as well.

all this waiting for more just gets me sometimes, sometimes im great and am able to accept, be satisfied with what we have. she's just not super affectionate, still loves me very much. i just get in my head, and wonder if i was someone else, if they would get more affection... sometimes I think its really just me. i can also admit, that I too am awkward and could probably make some more moves, i just don't get a read that she wants it.. and i feel like trash if i do something and then i'm shut down... but I cant wait for something that i'm not sure will happen, and i also need to live more in the moment.

i know theres a-lot of ranting and layers there, but id like to what im grateful for as well. I thought I would never have someone love me as a partner, I know I'm good enough, but I didnt think I could meet someone I wanted to be with in that way either. And I want to be with Lo with my whole heart. She has the best music taste. A dark humor I need someone to have. A sweetheart really. ( mixed with a bit brattiness, shhh she knows that too) but also that can be in a good way too, she knows what she wants, and will make sure she gets that. she knows the importance of prioritizing oneself, and also loves to make others happy. she can be outspoken in a great way too, she doesnt really sugar coat things. god i am absolutely smitten for her. I want with my everything to blossom through life together, be beside her to transition and always feel beautiful. I love our life with the kittys, and out kitty family to grow one day. I cant wait to live in our own place together and wake up and go to sleep together every night and every day. We'll have the cutest maximalist place, with lots of plants and the best lighting. Always smelling good, from our candles and clean linen, to the delicious meals cooked with love.

work is going okay, after 5 full years, and a battle with myself. i'm finally going to go into management. just finished my back of house modules, have a few more areas to train on back there. then i'll get into being able to open the store by myself, and have some key shifts. i need to find out when I'll actually be able to have key shifts, bc i do feel ready for them. plus months of those are required to go into the interview process of management.

I'm also on day 3 without any social media on my phone, which hasn't been as hard tbh. I've also been occupied. There were a few times when sitting around watching drag race last night, that I wanted to scroll a little bit. but that has passed quickly, and i've been glad/ proud to not have the useless info entering my brain. I defiantly will be keeping it up for a long time, if not forever.

[blueberry-writer]

HII IM THE SAME ANON WHO SENT THE FURST VANITAS REQUEST!!! It was so good tysm😭😭 So im back ofc bc it was wonderful

Anyway can u make a vanitas fluff alphabet? If not maybe some kissing hcs with gn reader? Ty in advance!!❤️❤️

Notes:Oh my, hi! 'Thank you'for what? i love write request! i hope you enjoy Vanitas fluff alphabet!!💙💙

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Usually you go to 'hunt' vampires to be treated withVanitas and Noè

In your free time you two go and visit beautiful places together tasting the typical dishes every now and then Noè will come to make the third wheel

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves everything about you but the thing that physically prefers are your eyes

He just loves to get lost in them and remember that these beautiful eyes belong to his better half

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

I have the hc that Vanitas, because of his past, often suffers from panic attacks so in his own way he would know well how to behave.

He’ll wait until you’re ready to talk and look him in the eye.

If you can’t, he understands it perfectly.

Without speaking, he will put a blanket on your shoulders and prepare you a tea that will leave near you that will serve to calm down.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He will never admit it but he has already made a lot of mental movies about your future life together: He will be a world-famous doctor in the world of vampires, you will be his beautiful, intelligent and lovable wife and together you will have two children, a male and a female.

... yeah, we can say that he has a lively imagination

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Dominant, he loves to annoy you and 'ruin' your day with his horrible jokes, maybe sometime he would even say dirty jokes😇

BUT If you get tired of his dirty and not dirty jokes and you can respond properly, you can see his cheeks blush and see Vanitas that becomes a lovely tsundere

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Usually you two never fight except for bullshit and therefore are useless quarrels that end in one/two minutes.

But if the fight is serious... it’s gonna be a little messy.

If it’s his fault, surely Noè can reason with him in one way or another.

If it’s your fault, it depends on your character!

But once you apologize to him ( and if it wasn’t particularly bad) he will forgive you after an hour or two and you will be back to being the usual couple.

If it’s serious, it’ll take a while, maybe a month or two, but don’t worry, he’ll take care of you without being noticed

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s grateful, but his pride will never allow him to admit it in front of everyone.

But I’m sure he’ll tell you when you two are alone at a special time or when you’re asleep.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He has few secrets he hides from you.

But these few are the worst, they all talk about his past and he’s afraid that if you found out, you might not love him anymore and leave him.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

is very inspired by you, yes.

But when he tried to change it didn’t end well

So you’re gonna have to put up with your annoying boyfriend the way he is 🙌

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yeah. Yeah, he does.

He gets jealous when someone gets close to you and you don’t have a problem with it.

If that person is someone you both know, then he’s going to start a 'comedy show' about how he can’t be that close to you.

If it’s someone he don’t know then he’ll come up to you, put your hand on your side and say:"heyy baby! how are y-.. oh? who are you? a friend of y/n? Ohh i get it, well nice to meet you, i’m their boyfriend Vanitas." accentuating heavily the 'their boyfriend'.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

we all saw how he kissed Jeanne, right?

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I allready said yes? Vanitas has a natural talent for being good at kissing.

Your first kiss with Vanitas was natural and not forced at all, it was very soft and with a touch of malice which made everything perfect.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

His confession was... a little peculiar. 

He confessed after a life-or-death situation in which you were very close to death.

He was really afraid of losing you, so as soon as you recovered he took courage and confessed to you as the sun went down leaving room for the beautiful blue moon.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Of course he does, he wants to be with you all his life (as I said earlier, he has made many mental movies about it).

He’d probably propose with a nice silver ring with a sapphire set.

Oh Lord, on the night of the proposal he would be so nervous and embarrassed.

He took you out on the terrace of a beautiful restaurant, and my God, you could easily see that that night he blushed for the least.

Obviously Noè and Dominique will be disguised as waiters to check that vanitas doesn’t mess up

At the end of the dinner, while you were on the balcony admiring the full moon, he knelt down, his face completely red (he is not used to these things, poor dear) and finally he will propose to you.

"W-Will you marry me, y/n."

You will say your yes and only then you will see the whole crowd (Noè, Dominique, Jeanne, Dante, Johann, Riche, Oliver and Roland) applauding and shouting with joy putting both of you embarrassed.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Princess/prince” “my girl/boy” and somethime even “my love”

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He has never experienced love in his life, so this strong feeling leaves him a little stunned.

He has never experienced love in his life, so this strong feeling leaves him a little woozy.

He was so stunned that for a while he tried to avoid you in every way, he tried to oppress the desire to see you and be close to you.

At first you thought you had done something wrong, it was a huge relief for you when Noè said that vanitas was trying to avoid you 'just' because he had such a great love for you that he didn’t know how to behave.

Slowly Vanitas became accustomed to this feeling, to the point where he could not do without it.

he was always clinging to you and one way or another you always ended up having dinner or lunch together. He just can’t help loving you.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He has no problem showing you to others, on the contrary, he boasts of having the best s/o in the world

"See that beautiful person Noè? That’s MY beautiful s/o!"

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Definitely his medical skills.

If you’re hurt, he won’t hesitate for a second to come and cure you

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Usually when you’re with other people it’s more flirty than romantic.

But when you two are alone, you’ll have a pampering-thirsty Vanitas that’s sticking to you 24-7

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Maybe even more than it should be!

he just can’t help encourage his beloved

"Come on love! you can do it, I believe in you!"

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

we can say that your adventures around the world of vampires make your relationship never banal and not at all boring

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

In his own way, he’s empathetic and very understanding.

He’s a little childish, but he knows when to be serious, and he would never allow himself to hurt you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

is very important. He needs to be with you, he have to be with you.

You’ve unlocked emotions he’s never felt before.. You made him feel the feeling that is called love. You are, his love.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

he loves it when you cuddle him and start playing with his hair. he melts under your touch.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yeah. Man, he loves it.

he cannot stay without pampering and physical affection for more than a week

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’s obviously more grumpy, he can’t help it.

If only someone would try to talk to him about it would send him to hell as a glance.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, as already mentioned many times he thought of your future wedding with him many times, imagine how you would look beautiful with a wedding dress.

Surely, he would like to have a family with you. A new chapter in his life with you.

He wants and will always be at your side even if sometimes he needs to be alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That's it! i hope you liked it!💙

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

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[atlabeth]

hold onto me (im a little unsteady) - sokka x reader

i was listening to the song when i came up w this so feel free to listen to that if you want

summary: a late night with sokka reminds you that even on the worst days, you always have someone in your corner.

a/n: lmao this is 100% self indulgent i have no excuses. my parents are getting divorced and almost every time they're together they argue and so this is just a comfort fic after it happened again tonight bc GD i wish i had a sokka. this one goes out to all my divorce babies or people with parents that never stop arguing. you are very loved<3

wc: 1.7k, this got away from me lol

warning(s): mentions of parents arguing n shit, like the tiniest mentions of implying sex and problems with consent (in general, not with them), but this is all fluff

hey. i know you’re probably asleep right now but could you come over?

It was far too late at night when you sent the text. A question asked on a whim, an offer that would most likely go ignored due to the boy on the other end being asleep.

But goddammit, you really didn’t care. Even if he didn’t respond, just hitting ‘send’ made you feel slightly better. You had already taken refuge in one of the sweatshirts he had left at your house (read: one that you had stolen and refused to give back) and as your eyes fell on the glow of the digital clock on your bedside table, you were once again reminded of how stupid this was.

But you heard the telltale buzz of a notification and all but lunged for your phone, an uncontrollable smile tugging on your lips. You didn’t know why you ever doubted him.

sokka💙: you know i never sleep babe

sokka💙: a curse of my genius

sokka💙: im omw

you’re the best thank you love<3

A pair of fuzzy socks and a refilled water bottle later, you heard the sound of something hitting your window. Though you tensed up at first, a roll of your eyes was all it took before you remembered just who you had invited over. Another smile took over as you pushed yourself off of your bed, pushing the curtains aside in time to see another pebble hit the pane.

A physical effort took place to stifle the laugh as you pushed your window up, and you leaned against the sill on your elbows to get a better look at your ridiculous boyfriend.

“Throwing rocks at my window? I think I’m stuck in a bad romcom.”

He grinned and let the remaining pebbles fall to the ground. “It’s what’s to be expected from your Prince Charming, right? Besides, I’m assuming that your parents wouldn’t just let me walk through the front door at this hour.”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. Just the sight of Sokka was always enough to make you feel better, and tonight was no exception. The vice on your heart was already starting to loosen. “Right as usual. Think you’ll catch me if I jump?”

He laughed and made a show of looking up and down the distance and then at his arms. “I’d like to say so, but I think we’d have better luck if I climb up.”

“You sure you can do that, big guy?” you asked with a teasing grin. He rolled his eyes with the same sentiment.

“Of course I can. I just thank nature that there’s a tree so close to your window. It’s saved me from a lot of embarrassing falls.”

You chuckled and backed away from the window, the slight chill from the night air beginning to get to you. “I’ll leave you to it while I get things ready.”

Truth be told, your room was a total mess at the moment. You knew Sokka wouldn’t care, especially not now, but it put you slightly more at ease to have something in your life that you could control. You were in the middle of shoving some previously strewn-about clothes into your closet when you heard the click of your window closing. When you turned around, you were met with your boyfriend’s smiling face.

“You’re so pretty,” you murmured as you walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you kissed him lightly on the lips, unable to stop the blossoming smile nor the warmth that the action gave you. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course.” The softness of his words were in stark contrast to the joking bravado from only minutes earlier, and as you stepped away from his embrace and pushed yourself onto your bed, he joined you on the other side. “And not that I’m not happy to be here, but I just wanna know. What’s going on?”

You sighed, letting one leg hang off the bed as you tucked the other in. It was a testament to Sokka’s power how quickly he had gotten you to forget about the new mess of the night. “The usual showing of fuckall and fuckup. I’m more impressed by how they never run out of things to scream at each other about.”

Your bad joke didn’t get a laugh out of him, which you were secretly glad for. Instead, he snaked an arm around your back and tugged you closer, a contented sigh falling from your lips as you nestled your head into the space between his shoulder and his head. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

The phrase had gone in one ear and out the other more times than you could count from your parents, but each time Sokka said it, the words held a different weight. You knew it wasn’t your fault in the first place, but guilt didn’t care all that much for logic. You knew he meant it though, and once more the vice loosened.

“I know. But it still helps to hear it.” You glanced up at him, reaching a hand up to twist a loose strand of his hair around your finger. “You should wear your hair down more often,” you mused. “It makes you look like a prince.”

He chuckled, amusement glinting through his ocean eyes. “I did say I was your Prince Charming, didn’t I?”

You smiled, slowly uncurling his hair from your finger. “Yeah.”

“That means I’ll always be there for you. Especially to save my royal from their evil stepparents.”

Another laugh bubbled in your chest at that, and you leaned closer into him. “Thank you. The more I visit your place, the more I want your family to be mine. Hakoda is like, the nicest man I’ve ever met, and your mom? She actually makes me want to cry with how sweet she is. I think I know where you get it from.”

He grinned and bumped your leg with his own. “You know you’re welcome over there any time. But maybe you shouldn’t — I think my mom might actually adopt you with how much she loves you. That… that would be really weird.”

His joy was infectious as you planted another kiss on his cheek, something that earned you a, as you liked to call it, dazzling Signature Sokka Smile. “I’ll make sure she holds off on the adoption papers for now.”

“I’d like that.”

And though the happiness you felt at the moment was almost overwhelming, that was just what caused that tiny sliver of doubt to come in. When people invited their partners over at three in the morning, it usually wasn’t to sit on the bed and talk about their problems. It was… it was for more, and you didn’t want that right now. And because you were an expert at it, you decided to put your foot in your mouth and start talking.

“I— I’m sorry that I called you over here so late, for no reason. I know you probably expected something else than me ranting, but…” you sighed, drawing your knees closer to your chest as you brought your other hand to Sokka’s resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.”

He sighed at that, but you knew it wasn’t one of disappointment. “You know I’m here for you. I don’t care if you just want to sit in silence for the next five hours while we stare at the wall, or if you want to watch sappy rom coms until your eyes bleed. I’m more than okay with staying like this. I didn’t come over here because I expected anything from you — I came over here because you needed me, and so I’m here.” Sokka smiled, an image you didn’t think would ever stop making you melt, and intertwined your hand with his. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.”

You were so stunned at the brazen declaration that your voice got stuck in your throat for a moment, holding back tears. (Happy tears. They were never anything other than happy tears with Sokka.) It hit you then that you didn’t really know what it was like having someone get close to you without an ulterior motive.

“Thank you,” you murmured after a moment of comfortable silence. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You knew he was smiling, even without having to look up at him. You could hear it in his voice, feel it in the kiss he pressed to your hairline.

A comfortable silence hung in the air for a long time until you broke it. “You know… my dad kinda ran off to a motel for the night after this whole thing, and my mom leaves early in the morning. If you were serious about those rom coms…” You allowed the unsaid question of staying the night to fester so Sokka knew he could say no if he wanted to, but he didn’t even hesitate.

“Of course I was serious. I mean, I’ve gotta get the ideas for our future wedding from somewhere.”

You laughed, a sentiment that had occurred more times in the ten minutes he had been here than the past week, and picked the remote for your little box TV off of your bedside table. You clicked through various movies until you found one Sokka liked, and then you cuddled deeper into his side to prepare for the ride you had ahead of you.

Thirty minutes into 27 Dresses, he had fallen asleep, arm still around you and one of his legs slightly intertwined with one of your own. But it’s not like you minded — the familiar weight of Sokka in your bed had caused all your worries to melt away, if only for the night.

You didn’t expect him to last past the first movie, but you were sure you would at least get through until Katherine Heigl got the man. But there was an overwhelming feeling of safety permeating the air with Sokka’s arms around you, and you ended up knocked out before she could even get through all twenty seven dresses.

It wasn’t lost on you how fortunate you were — he didn’t expect anything like that from you, he just wanted you to be safe. He was there for you. You would never understand how you had gotten so lucky with your boyfriend, but you would never stop being grateful for him.

-

this is the most self indulgent thing ive ever written and i am NOT sorry

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla tags: @marianne1806 @brown-eyed-thang @akiris

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[denkamis]

hi!! could i get double chocolate and cherry with kaminari, shinsou and midoriya please?❤️

idk if i did this right so im sorry if i didnt!

to anon: hey anon, no worries! you did it perfectly :)) aww i love the characters you chose for this prompt, this is adorable. enjoy some fluffy times with these sleep deprived boys from a very sleep deprived writer <3

warnings: none! just some swearing and some bad sleeping habits lmao. reader is gn!

prompt: denki kaminari, hitoshi shinsou, izuku midoriya scenarios + “it’s okay, i couldn’t sleep anyways.”

denki kaminari

denki stays up late playing osu and minecraft

what can i say, he’s just a gamer man

so he’s honestly pretty reliable when it comes to you knocking on his door at late hours of the night

always the biggest cuddle bug, really happy that you go to him first out of everyone

literally drops everything for you hehe

lots of sleepy kisses too

“fuck! goddammit,” denki grumbled, shaking out his wrist as he had just failed the six star version of the intro of blend-s on osu. he had gotten rather addicted to the circle clicking game. this further resulted in denki staying up late on school nights, despite kirishima’s warnings of him potentially falling asleep in class the next day. it was fine, he could always borrow notes from you or jirou anyways!

as he went to restart the map again, a soft knock came at the door to his dorm room. spinning off his computer room chair, he prepared himself to be lectured by aizawa for the fifth time this week about breaking curfew. “aizawa-sensei, i know that i’ve been loud lately but i swear this time it won’t happen- y/n?” he stopped mid-sentence as he saw you standing on the other side of the door. “what are you doing up so late?”

you shook your head, immediately hugging his torso instead. you were clearly a bit distraught about something, but denki wasn’t a mind reader. he figured that from the way you were clinging onto him, it must have been a bad dream of some kind. “hey, hey, easy there! nearly knocked me over, huh,” denki laughed lightly, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head before closing the door behind you. you clung onto him, face buried in the crook of his neck. it made a small blush dust across his cheeks, a warm feeling spreading through his arms as he held you close. “i hope i’m not bothering you,” you mumbled, to which denki hummed. “you never bother me, babe. it’s okay, i couldn’t really sleep anyways.”

the two of you stayed like that for a long while, denki swaying the two of you back and forth. you could feel gentle lips peppering the crown of your head with kisses. as your heart rate slowed, denki piped up. “wanna stay here for the night? my bed’s missing out on some action! and by some action, i mean sleep. i really can’t sleep.”

you snorted at his words, your eyes flicking up to his goofy yet endearing smile, his eyes bright yet a bit tired from late night gaming. he poked his tongue out at you, making you roll your eyes with a tiny smile of your own gracing your features.

“how could i say no to that?”

hitoshi shinsou

we already know he’s up at these unholy hours

not for any particular reason, just because he can’t really sleep

quite the insomniac that one

and the fact that he can’t sleep properly or well unless you’re with him

you smell like lavender in the morning too bc he puts it in his pillow to help him sleep, thank you

shinsou lay awake in bed, eyes trained on the ceiling as he waited for himself to fall asleep. it was no secret that he barely got any rest, so it was simply easier to just sit and wait until his body exhausted itself to the point where he simply fell asleep. staying as still as he could, he kept counting the amount of times he breathed in and out. it made him acutely aware of his surroundings. the crickets outside his room, the way the moonlight streamed through his blinds, the miscellaneous creaking sounds of the dorms. yeah, he definitely wasn’t sleeping tonight.

he didn’t flinch as the door to his room opened, blinking slowly as his eyes adjusted to the light spilling into his room along with a new figure. “y/n?” he asked, not bothering to sit up. “hey, are you up? sorry toshi, i couldn’t sleep,” you explained softly, allowing the door to close behind you as you tiptoed across his dorm room. his hair was sprawled across his pillow, deep violet locks hiding his hands situated behind his head comfortably. it showed off his arms that were built from training for when, not if, he ever got into the hero course.

a lazy smile crossed his lips at your words, his heartstrings being played by you so seamlessly. “it’s okay, i couldn’t sleep anyways,” he replied with a tilt of his head towards you. he moved over a bit in his bed as to give you space to lay down next to him. you crawled beneath his comforters, inhaling the scent of lavender as you did. apparently shinsou had said that the smell helped him fall asleep easier. strong arms wrapped around your waist, encasing you in a protective embrace as your head rested comfortably against his chest. the comforter was thrown over the two of you. you felt so much safer already.

his large hands were placed on your lower back, his thumbs drawing lazy circles on your skin as his breathing began to relax noticeably. hiding your smile, you cuddled closer to him. to this day, you had never seen shinsou fall asleep so quickly since that night.

izuku midoriya

baby is up studying for a test that’s in like 2 weeks

either that or he’s on an all might video spree on youtube and no that is not the first time this has happened, it is certainly not the last

he has so many stuffed animals in his room probably, like he just has them stuffed in his closet

the all might plushies stay on the bed tho

his cuddles are unmatched tho, change my mind

izuku was pacing around his room, vocabulary words spinning about his mind as he counted them on his fingers. he was mumbling definitions to himself, going over all of them in his head before referencing his notebook to make sure nothing went wrong. amidst his ramblings, a knock at the door made him jump to attention. “come in?” he called out, watching intently as he saw you come into view. his face showed relief, grateful to know it wasn’t aizawa or kacchan complaining about his incessant pacing.

“would it be alright if i sleep here tonight? i’m worrying about my grades and stuff again,” you rubbed the back of your neck with a small smile, trying to play off your question as relaxed as you could. it wasn’t exactly a secret that you had a crush on the boy in front of you. he was kind and humble, wanting to help as many people as he could despite all the circumstances that had the world against him. it was admirable. even now, he looked so concerned from the clear lack of sleep you’ve been getting these past few days. “of course you can sleep here. ah, wait! i have to, ah,” he stumbled over his words as you looked to the bed to see not one, not even two, but four all might stuffed toys on his bed.

“oh.”

midoriya’s face erupted with crimson, shoving the plushies into his closet as he sputtered out various excuses as to why they were there in the first place. when he turned back to you, you were giggling. not at him, but because of the entire situation in general. “you’re adorable, izu,” you told him gently. a light feeling bloomed in his chest upon seeing the smile you held for him. you looked so undeniably beautiful to him, the way your hair was a bit messy and how you stood in your pyjamas. while others, including yourself, would find that you looked completely normal, midoriya loved seeing you be so casual, so comfortable around him.

“you’re sure i’m not interrupting you, though?”

midoriya returned your smile with his own, stepping forward to intertwined his scarred fingers with your delicate ones. “it’s okay,” he murmured softly, holding your hand as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him, “i couldn’t really sleep anyways.”

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox @honeykami @httpfirx @strawberrysalwa @hey-i-really-miss-you @smexy-goose @satis-kei

want to be on the taglist? see this post!

[mokutone]

sorry if this is random but i was just curious about your thoughts on sai? i know you have a lot of thoughts on yamato fhdjdlfn and his and yamato’s relationship always seemed so interesting and really underdeveloped :[ theyre both really similar but yamato was able to get out of ROOT before sai was, and i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on that/him to share. sorry if this is weird or out of the blue djshfkfj love your art!!

that's not weird at all!!! actually the day u sent this question in i had finalized the thumbnails (and started on the pencils!) for a comic wherein Yamato comments on how Sai is handling his transition out of ROOT differently than Yamato himself did! I don't want to lay all my thoughts on that out here, because I think i'm much more clumsy with textposts than with comics, but I appreciate the question and I will share some thoughts!

under a readmore tho bc. this got Long...comics force me to be concise but w/ a keyboard under my hands i just chatter

here's something I've been thinking abt! I think they had fundamentally different experiences in ROOT, and this is reflected in their attitudes towards Danzō, as well as the way they interact with the people outside of ROOT.

Sai seems to have no real loyalty to Danzō. He does what Danzō says because Danzō gives him his orders, when he practices his fake smile in front of Danzō, Danzō immediately tells him to cut that shit out. I don't think there's a lot of love lost there—when team Kakashi catches up to him in orochimaru's hideout, and they kind of confront him, and. also kind of. "give him the option" of abandoning his mission (and ROOT along with it) or. you know. facing shinobi consequences. he doesn't really seem to think much of it? honestly. i imagine he was probably a little more relieved than anything else. Add to that him remembering how he wanted to finish the drawing of his brother—

actually wait hang on thats another point I want to talk about. Sai was pitted against the person he was closest to in order to traumatize him into numbness! wack! I think that's kind of at the root (help.) of why I see him as a fundamentally angrier character than I see Yamato—and why I interpret some of his behavior not just as Not Knowing How People Work (although he does have trouble with this! it's a very different vibe. like. him trying to comfort Naruto and Naruto thinking Sai was coming onto him was an entirely different kind of situation) but as like. intentionally inflammatory sometimes...like. he's insulted the bodies of most of the people around him in one way or another, he knows it pisses them off, he does keep doing it. I think him Causing Problems On Purpose is sometimes just a way for him to try and experience catharsis for a fury he doesn't really know he's repressing. Like. idk. it's one thing to be forced to hurt yourself, that's deeply upsetting, disembodying, traumatizing, but it's another to be forced into a situation where you're to hurt somebody you love (regardless of the outcome) like. idk. its a kind of powerlessness that hits different at least ime, and frustration and resentment are extremely normal reactions to a situation like that. i think. a number of things could be appealing to him abt trying to get others to get angry at him—whether it's Him being the one to Cause another persons anger (which could confer a kind of. feeling of control) or him seeing himself reflected in their anger (like a "boy howdy i recognize this emotion. it's very clear. very understandable") or even seeing how they handle the anger. kishimoto definitely doesn't care nearly as much about Sai's anger. but i found the implication of it compelling as a kid, and I find it more compelling as an adult! anger can be an incredibly healing and protective force sometimes when dealing w/ trauma...and I wish kishimoto knew what he was writing about or that we got to see it explored more!!! ack!

yamato (as kinoe) had a wildly different experience when he was in ROOT.

we know he knew how to fight against sharingan, which. I think implies he was training in combat with Danzō, or that he worked closely with Danzō, or at the very least that Danzō used his sharingan on him. We also saw that (unlike Sai, who was rebuked for even fake-smiling) that Kinoe (at first) was not told to feel nothing, but instead instructed on how to feel by Danzō specifically. Like, mostly telling him to Feel Grateful etc, but I think him being told to experience specific feelings according to what Danzō thought was appropriate would lead to a different relationship with his emotions than Sai, who was told explicitly to repress them all at all times, and to not even attempt to preform them.

He also like. Thought. Highly. of Danzō, not just as a leader but as a person...it's kind of undeniable that Kinoe saw him as right, was willing to brand his own feelings and intuition wrong if it crossed Danzō's, openly sought Danzō's approval, when he fails his mission to secure Kakashi's eye, his reaction is. essentially immediately to return himself to Danzō to face whatever new dehumanization Danzō's got for him— even when Kakashi and Hiruzen drag him out of there he thanks Danzō for everything, and he seems genuine about it, despite. everything. He's more expressive than Sai for sure, He had like. a moment of anger, when he said that he wanted to be Tenzō, and Danzō denied him that basic self identification...but it's quickly squashed. Messy. Messy. I think. I think he has a little more trouble getting in touch w/ his anger than Sai bc of his emotional closeness to Danzō.

i think. because yamato knows that he was something more like Danzō's favorite, and that conveyed a vastly different experience than Sai's, he might feel a little complicated about being like "So...ROOT trauma, huh? Hell of a thing!" but. i also like to think that he's very quietly kind of trying to observe and support in a way which mostly allows Sai to figure himself out—I think when they are older they would probably talk about it more (also because then their tongue-seals will have finally disappeared. Thanks sasuke!), once Sai has close friends in the village and everything

Just a lot of like. "I have friendships down. I have teammates down, easily—but what am I to the old woman I buy my cabbages from. What degree of friendliness do I exhibit to her."

"I think...whatever you're comfortable with is fine. I know neither of us had particularly normal upbringings, but you don't have to execute every interaction perfectly for people to care about and respect you."

anyway god this is so long and soooo based in my own personal HCs. I hope there was something in here that was interesting to you!