#i wasn't going to put this in the main tag but actually i think people need this reminder

[wishing4nuclearwinter]

Look, I'm not going to comment this on the actual post because I don't want to start shit or personally call out whoever put this response, but.

On the ghoul survey with the question 'what causes ghouls to turn feral' someone put 'the person's personality and morality pre-ghoulification' and im just.

You realize that ghoulification has heavy ties to disability right. While I partially blame bethesda for creating and using feral ghouls as off-brand zombies that they encourage you to kill on sight, this fact remains.

To quote the wiki:

It is known that it is a result of a degeneration of the brain and emerges following the atrophy of higher brain functions, accompanied by an increased level of aggression and appetite

All I'm saying is to PLEASE think about the implications of stating that mental degradation and acquired disability, even fictional, is tied to morality

[kousanosgf]

men, minors dni

sevika x prostitute!reader

sometimes life gets worse, before it becomes better. luckily sevika ready to help you with it.

a\n: i hate how half of this fandom makes "sexy sevika in a brothel" jokes. this was written with the strong despisement for anyone who supports swork and thinks that it's freeing in any shape or form. it's NOT a light one, i'd say, so please be careful with the content you're consuming. also inform me if i should change something about the tags or tws

tw: mention of suicide, not explicit describtion of SA, drug abuse

tags: angst, hurt\comfort (kinda?), no smut (idk if i can call it sfw, sex is mentioned but not with sevika), happy ending

whispers run through the main hall, they won't stop repeating for half an hour at least, every worker and guest is too excited or nervous to be in the haunting dog of zaun's presence. "she's here". "sevika came". it won't be surprising if someone suggests placing a bet who she'll choose next, now that her favorite girl is dead.

well, that's the thing really, you couldn't care less for anyone in here and especially sevika. your best friend is dead and you can't even mourn her properly, because there's always "clients demand our full attention, girls, don't forget that" and "no alcohol or drugs, unless our guests want it, girls". there's numbing pain tugging at you heart, making you want to vomit every time you have to think of your loss and there's no way to drink yourself to oblivion to not feel all this.

so far, the night was calm. the only man for the night left you alone an hour ago after mindlessly fucking you face down into the mattress for couple of minutes and disappearing as soon as he finished. you could only hope for it go as smoothly but luck wasn't on your side for some time now. a shadow looms over before you notice who it belongs to.

you raise your eyes. sevika. "of course," you think, "cause the day needs to get worse".

"are you free?" she asks bluntly. no greetings, no small talk. that's normal really, manageable. it's usually way worse when the client wants to spill all their heartache or frustration before what they actually came for.

"not even gonna buy girl a drink?" you try to put on your prettiest face, smiling coyly and frowning in a fake pout, hoping she'll let you get at least a bit drunk.

"no, come on". she just turns around and heads towards the second floor to the private rooms.

a scream dies somewhere on a tip of your tongue, leaving sour taste.

you have to hurry after her, people as powerful as sevika hate nothing more than to wait and there's no reason to get on her bad side. it's nerve wracking, scary even, to guess what kind of client she will be. there're not much women who come here and not one of them has ever chosen you. a risk of sevika getting frustrated and dissatisfied with your inexperience is high and definitely not what you want since if the customer is angry then madame is angry and you'll be punished in some way.

you take a look at sevika again, following her step by step. she holds herself with great confidence, understandable for someone with such a status, broad shoulders, perfect posture, full heavy steps that make people move out of her path.

you reach the room finally, dreadfully. sevika sits down in the chair waiting for you to lock the door. as you do so, you turn back to her, sliding the straps off your minidress down.

"wait, no." sevika stops you. "i'm not here for this. just sit down." she gestures to the bed and you follow her orders, confused but not daring to ask.

the silence follows. you sit in your place trying not to breathe too hard, a blank expression on your face, while sevika thinks something through.

"you knew yana?" you basically jump in place, hearing your friend's name. "i mean... she was your friend?"

"she is my friend." you snap unexpectedly even for yourself but don't correct the words or make an attempt at apologizing no matter how dangerous that move is.

the corner of sevika's lip rises a little in a smirk but it's gone as fast as it appeared.

"she's dead." "doesn't change the fact that she's my friend." gods, why can't you shut up.

there's a pure rage boiling inside of you. it's painful when no one in this fucking place took time to acknowledged her death. another whore killing herself, what's the news really? but this... it's worse, the way sevika seems more amused with the fact than, you don't know, at least sad that one of her favorites is no longer here.

silence again. sevika studies you like she's trying to find something. the gaze is different from what you usually get from customers, burning, suffocating glances of men who look you over, imagine what you would look like naked under them before making there choice and passing several bills to madame.

"you have a lot of friends here?" what the fuck is she on about?

"i don't run my mouth if that's what you need."

"that's not what i asked." the smirk again. "but whatever."

she lights a cigarette and makes a few puffs. as the smell reaches you, you can't help but scrunch your nose, never appreciative of the smell. as she sees your dissatisfaction, she clicks her tongue and reaches for the ashtray, putting the cigarette down.

"here's what we gonna do. i'll sleep here till morning and you just... i don't know, do your thing? sleep too?" she waves her hand in the air.

you have to take a moment before her words actually lock in. "what?" sevika doesn't strike you as the type to use some euphemisms when she talks about sex, "sleep" here actually seems like she means it.

"you heard me. i already paid for the whole night if you're worried about it." she gives no further explanation and just leans back, dropping her head on the chair and closing her eyes. it's better not to disturb her. there's not much to say or do for you so you just sit there for a while, listening to the steady breathing and fall asleep yourself, not ready to give up a prospect of a calm night. when you wake up in the morning, sevika isn't there.

she comes and goes. for the last two weeks sevika visited you almost every day. the nights go basically the same. nothing much happens, though she becomes more and more chatty with every meeting.

you know her favorite food, know how her day went, know what she thinks about every chem-baron. in return sevika knows what're your favorite flowers, knows what your childhood was like, knows how you got into the brothel.

she's always so nonchalant about her questions, trying not to make a big deal out of it, like she's simply asking to fill the space. but working in a place like this teaches you read people easily and it becomes clear very quickly that sevika is actually searching for something. you're not sure if it's safe to give her the information she wants to hear but it's been too long since you had a person to talk to. it becomes easy to pretend like she actually interested in your stories and opinions.

she also now sleeps in a bed with you, leaving her place in the chair on the third night when you offer it yourself. she's one of those people who can fall asleep on a whim anywhere and anytime, you guess. or she's just very good at pretending.

and when she does fall asleep you lie awake, looking at her, replaying everything she said earlier in your head, trying to make sense of it, of her.

you get caught eventually. one night she just opens her eyes as she wakes up (if she's slept at all) and looks straight at you. both of you lie on your sides, facing each other. nothing is said for good five minutes, she's studying your features as well as you do hers in a dim glow of the lamp post outside the window.

"wanna know a secret?" sevika finally breaks the comfortable silence, a light smirk on her lips. you nod your head slowly, not breaking the eye contact.

"i'm getting you out of here."

the sentence doesn't register, so you have to ask her to repeat it.

"i'm getting. you. out." she says again, slowly, dividing the words.

you rise up swiftly, leaning yourself on the elbow. "you're not funny." of course it's some twisted joke, what else could it be. anger ready to overtake you easily.

the smirk grows wider on her face. "im serious, sweetheart."

that's when she tells you. probably the craziest thing you've ever heard. her visits to the brothel were never for any sexual pleasures, mostly getting intel for her and, by extant, silco's plans. till couple of months ago when she took on a mission of getting such a business out of zaun.

yana was suppose to be one of the first women who sevika and her team would save. they were late in the end.

"why didn't you tell her?" you ask partially frustrated at the coincidence of circumstances and sevika. if only yana knew that the help was on the way, she would still be alive, probably free from her prison. instead she just couldn't handle the life she thought she's bound to till her dying day or when she'll become old enough for madame to throw her out on the streets cause she wouldn't bring enough money.

"i was afraid to risk it, she was too unstable to be trusted such an information for a long term." sevika sighs heavily, dragging a hand through her face. "that was a wrong move on my end."

"and yet you're telling me this two weeks later? there were no guarantee for you that i wouldn't do the same."

"i... had to take a gamble. i knew basically nothing about you before. yana did share some stories but that wasn't enough to ease my anxieties."

you talk and talk and talk. about yana, about your life here. you throw question after question to her and she doesn't seem to get tired of answering you.

"why me? or why... not everyone at once?"

"it's impossible to do this in one go without much practice. look at this as us dipping toes in the water."

"so i'm a guinea pig?" sevika opens her mouth to argue but closes it immediately, realizing that you're only teasing her.

"no, you're something i can fix. give me a week more, okay?" she says it with such confidence in her voice that you got nothing else to do but to believe her.

sevika comes every night now, trying to take as much as she can of your working time so others won't get to you. there's a slight tug of guilt somewhere in your heart, because there's probably girls in the brothel who need this more, who can handle less than you, who just got here and weren't that much ruined with the way people treat them like some meat to jerk off to.

"your arm."

you look over yourself. it is an old bruise that got her concerned, one of the clients getting too harsh. you don't remember much, he let you have a blunt, you didn't ask of what, before everything occurred. it's yellow already, few days more and it'll disappear.

"fuck. probably smudged my makeup somewhere."

sevika's look is heavy, fixed on the spot.

"it's nothing, don't worry."

"it's not nothing." she's now looking straight into your eyes, there's a dangerous fire gleaming and it's impossible to hold her gaze so you just look to the side, noticing her fingers digging into an armrest. it is not nothing, you both know that. but all you can think of is that you would love to feel sevika's palm on you, covering the damned bruise, letting you dream it was never there.

no, you deserve to run as much as the next person. and it's not like you're gonna be the only one. like sevika told you, it's only the beginning.

"good news", sevika says and there's a smile on her face. you're not sure if you ever saw her smile. not a grin or a smirk that she gives everyone here but a genuine, warm smile. she looks lovely with it and you can't help but smile too back at her, not even knowing the reason.

"like what?"

the morning air is cool, autumn starts to take the reigns of nature. there's only a set of underwear and a nightgown on you so you shiver and hug yourself. you couldn't take any of your belongings, she said yesterday night, when she finally announced that it's time to set the plans in motion. some kind of big cloth, a poncho, you regester not as fast as you'd like to, lends on your shoulders, warm from the body heat of it's owner.

"sorry, that's all i got for now. need to get to the safe house, have actually some clothes for you."

you nod dumbfounded and just follow her. everything feels like a dream really, that about to be ripped away and you'll simply wake up back in the room that smells of head numbing incenses, ready to greet another customer.

you look over the clothes she gave you, simple pair of brown jeans, a black turtleneck and a jacket. the jeans are a size too big for you but nothing a belt can't fix.

"the plans to get you out changed so quick, i completely forgot to buy something your size."

"was it for her?" you don't need the answer, you know it already.

"yeah."

there're tears falling down that you can't control. you cry silently, turned away from sevika. you're not sure if she actually doesn't notice or just wants to give you space when she finally says "alright, gonna step out for you to change, meet me in the kitchen when you're ready."

as she takes a step to the door you lounge yourself at her, grabbing calloused hand and tugging it to your waist, looking for contact. now only you can do is cry, your sobs becoming louder and louder, your throat hurts like hell, you won't be able to speak later for sure.

there's a stream of "thankyouthankyouthankyou" coming from your mouth, your body basically presses inside sevika's. she doesn't answer. her other hand gently covers the crown of your head, guiding your tearful face to her chest and she lets you rest it there.

[padswaffle]

wally giving u his letterman jacket for the first time !! [ wally clark x reader ]

(I know, I said I would write about some other ss characters, BUT I had to write this, forgive me sob)

word count : 4446

tags : gn!reader , afab!reader , no established relationship , teeth rotting fluff

It was late in the evening, they were going down the hallways after finishing with their pottery lab.

They've always been creative, since young age.

It wasn't new to people that they liked doing things like diy, painting or crafting and pottery was sure a new and fresh challenge for them.

They were talking with a friend, explaining how they would color the mugs they made the next day, the sun was slowly fading away behind the buildings around the school.

They knew there was football practice in the field that day.

The fresh air hit their face as they went out of the main door.

They breathed in, going straight to the field, knowing they had to wait a bit more for their neighbor to finish with his practice.

Wally was running in the fake green grass, along with other guys, all tall and muscular like him, but not quite as pretty.

His hair were moving slowly because of the slight wind, black locks falling on his forehead covered in sweat.

After a bit they finished, y/n still sitting on the benches, waiting for him while swinging their feet.

"Oh, you're already here...sorry I was late but you have to wait a bit more" he said.

"I know, go change, I'll wait for you here" they said, a little smile on their face.

Wally ran to the locker rooms, he did a quick shower, then changed and came back after maybe 15 minutes.

Y/n was sitting where he left them, a book in hand, the lights that adorned the field hitting on their figure.

"Now, I am ready" he laughed, adjusting his big bag on his shoulder "Let's go".

As they stood up, Wally couldn't not notice they weren't wearing any hoodie or jacket.

It wasn't very cold, but the fresh air wasn't like summer at all.

They walked together through the parking lot.

They were neighbors since 8th grade, always seeing each other but becoming friends in 10th, the houses were very close to school so every morning they walked to school together.

"Had a nice day?" he asked, while putting his hands in his jacket's pockets.

They nodded "Not bad I should say...I made a mug" a smile.

"Oh cool, a mug?" he raised a brow "Damn, couldn't imagine what horrendous thing could came out if I did something like that" he laughed.

"It isn't difficult at all but...yeah I agree"

Wally chuckled, putting a hand on his forehead and gasping "Oh no, you think of me so low?" he said.

"Maybe" they said, swinging while walking "It's fun, actually...tomorriw we're coloring them...wanted to make it blue and white with...your number on it" they said.

They've been thinking of that since a few days.

Wally was always gentle and kind, he always offered them to go to his house so they felt like they should give him something in exchange and a gift was a perfect choice.

Nothing better than something handmade.

Wally's gaze softened "You...you serious?" he said, looking at them in disbelief.

"Yeah, wanted to make you a gift"

"You're...kind...too kind...thank you" he was already tasting all the good coffee he could've drink in that perfect cup.

The walk went on through some discourse about the fact that one of their teachers believed aliens would take on the world and the possibility of that.

Y/n crossed their harms, caressing their arms.

"Hey, you cold?" Wally asked, looking at them worried.

They shook their head "No...it's find, just the wind hitting my skin makes me feel a bit cold, but when it stops it's fine".

Wally nodded, taking off his letterman jacket, y/n shaking their head "No Wally you don't have t-" but the jacket was already placed on their shoulders.

It was warm from Wally's body heat, soft on the sleeves.

They blushed.

They knew what that meant in 'school lenguage'.

They tried to not think about that.

When at their door, they said bye to each other to the next day.

"Your-"

"Keep it"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you'll give it to me tomorrow okay?"

They blushed even more, nodding "Okay...see you tomorrow...don't be late again" a chuckle.

"Promise, I'll make you breakfast to eat while we go to school" he winked, turning and crossing the road to go to his house.

He was smiling hard, the sight of you drowning in his jacket still in his mind.

He knew he would have your smell all on it the next day, exactly while you were holding the clothing to your chest, smiling and sniffing it, thinking about Wally.

[exasperatedfey]

Medieval May Reading Bingo

Happy May! To celebrate I've decided to create a reading challenge where I read medieval texts in May. Full disclosure, this is inspired by another reading challenge on storygraph with a similar name posted by a user called maryshelleywasright. That challenge wasn't long enough for me so I made this!

Absolutely no pressure to join me but I thought it would be fun to open up the challenge to a wider pool of people (especially my Arthuriana mutuals @gwalch-mei and @mordred-galahad). To anyone wondering where the hell to find texts for these prompts your local library might have some! I would also be remiss in not mentioning @queer-ragnelle who runs the Arthurian Preservation Project on her blog. They've done so much work in making Arthurian media of all kinds accessible! If you'd like to post about this challenge you can use the #medievalmay tag.

While I will be reading mostly arthurian texts to prepare for another reading challenge I'm thinking of putting together for August, that doesn't have to be the case for you. The only criteria is that it has to be a text written from 900 CE to 1500 CE. It can be from literally anywhere in the world as long as it fits a bingo prompt. Go nuts lol.

Would Be Cancelled on Ye Olde Twitter - Read a medieval text where the protagonist would absolutely be cancelled on Twitter. Up to you to interpret whether the character's actual personality would get them cancelled if you put a phone in their hands or if they would get cancelled if their story started trending in modern day. Whatever you think is funnier.

God Forbid Women Have Hobbies - Read a medieval text where a woman is the main antagonist. The more evil she is the better.

You Probably Could Fix This One TBH - Read a medieval text where you probably could fix the main character. How much of a fixer-upper they would be is up to you, as long as you can make a case for why/how you could pull it off.

Oh No! My Hubris - Read a medieval text where the main character's hubris comes back to bite them on the ass in a big way.

Reading This Will Make You Fun at Parties, We Promise - Read a medieval text that will be a real conversation starter at parties.

You Can't Fix This Loser But You Can Watch Their Life Implode - Read a medieval text where the main character is completely unfixable. Where they are on the scale from "kind of a mess" to "so much of a human trash fire that mere proximity to them would cause popcorn kernels to pop" is up to you.

No Maidens? - Read a medieval text where the protagonist fumbles a love interest in a spectacular fashion. They can win them back but the initial fumbling must happen.

Surprisingly Cool About A Lot of Stuff - Read a medieval text that's cool about things you wouldn't expect for the time period. Specifically race or gender, but it can apply to other topics as well. "Cool" doesn't equate "Perfect" so the text doesn't have to pass modern day standards, an effort just needs to have been made.

Some Freak Ruins Everything - Read a medieval text where the good vibes have been ruined by some weirdo ruining things. The main character can be cleaning up this mess and not the one who caused it. It can happen off screen or prior to the story, as long as some freak somewhere has decided to be a problem the prompt applies.

An Accurate Adaptation Would be Rated R - Read a medieval text with a bananas amount of violence.

Special Guest Star: Blorbo From My Shows! - Read a medieval text that's inspired a piece of more modern media you are already familiar with.

A Is For Adultery - Read a medieval text where one of the main characters commits adultery.

FREE - Real literally any medieval text you want.

(To the Tune of Who's That Girl) Who's That Knight? - Read a medieval text where the main character has a mystery surrounding their past or identity. The main character doesn't actually have to be a knight, I just thought the prompt name was funny when I thought of it at work.

Cell Phones Would Have Made This Worse - Read a medieval text where the characters having cell phones would have made the situation much worse.

The Eternally Burning Fires of Guilt (And Shame!) - Read a medieval text where guilt and shame are major themes. You can also pick something that you feel guilty about not having read yet. This prompt is very flexible!

Born Too Early To Go To Therapy, But Just In Time To Go On Quests - Read a medieval text where the main character would really benefit from some therapy, but unfortunately they live during medieval times. Epic quests aren't a replacement but they're better than nothing.

Somewhere That Isn't Europe - Read a medieval text that has as little to do with Europe as possible. After all, other places had literary traditions. It isn't fair that Europe hogs the spotlight 24/7.

Some Freak Fixes Everything Somehow - Read a medieval text where the problem is solved by some freak. Said freak doesn't have to be the main character and the fixing can happen off-page.

Not-So Medieval Gender Roles - Read a medieval text that fucks with gender roles of the time. How much and in what ways is up to you.

The Author's Poorly Disguised Fetish: Medieval Edition - Read a medieval text where you get the sense the writer was transcribing it one-handed at certain moments.

Turbo-Doomed By The Narrative - Read a medieval text where the protagonist might as well have a giant neon sign over their head that says "THEY'RE FUCKED".

And They Were Comrades in Arms (My Lord They Were Comrades in Arms) - Read a medieval text known for it's homoeroticism.

Cell Phones Would Have Fixed This - Read a medieval text where cell phones would have resolved the center conflict pretty quickly or prevented some horrible tragedy.

Hey Kid, Ya Like Proving Yourself? - Read a medieval text where the protagonist is the new kid on the block and has to prove themselves with a great deed or two.

[supervisormeero]

It's "You're My Ideal Reader" day at @andorappreciation, so I wanted to take a minute to appreciate my fellow Keero writers (and everyone who has tirelessly kept our small fandom alive over the past almost-three years. I wasn't even on here for all of them!).

Here are a few of my absolute favorite Syril/Dedra fics, along with accompanying rambles about why I think they're great. I'm focusing on writers who I know are on Tumblr, but there are some great fics in the tag by people whose socials I don't know.

Now, for the fics:

A Zealous Man Burns for One Thing by unknowntelephone @lighttailoring, on here - Rating: Mature. This fic and its sequel, The Body and the Blood, are everything to me. They're technically a historical witchfinder AU (think Salem Witch Trials) with Syril as a priest and Dedra as a witchfinder. There's so much going on here, though, that calling it an AU almost does a disservice to the fic. It's so much more than that. It deals expertly with concepts of love, lust, and "sin" in the face of a harsh and unforgiving god (sounds a bit like the Empire, hm?), and the writing is spectacular. The first part serves as a retelling of the events of Andor's first season translated into a folk horror setting, and the second creates a new storyline for Syril and Dedra's characters.

Favorite excerpt: He tries to explain himself; tries to convey, in his own small, meagre way, how merely being in her presence has filled his life with grace, given it meaning. How she has shown him that, if nothing else, there is a just God. That perhaps the dream of creating His Kingdom here on Earth might be worth clinging to. She says nothing in response. Her upper lip curls into a snarl.

My Empirical Heart by limitedpractice @air-mechanical, on here - Rating: Audiences Teen and Up. This is my favorite version of the Broom Closet Scene, and I wrote a version of the Broom Closet Scene. @air-mechanical does it all: she's nailed Dedra's disorientation and fear in the moments following her salvation with expert flair, she's dug into Dedra's head to pull out why she's so fearful of being close to Syril and why it horrifies Dedra to owe someone her life, and she's written a kissing scene that balances perfectly on a thin wire between awkward and steamy. (At different points, it's both.) The writing is lush, and the characterization is impeccable. I know Tony Gilroy has said there was never a take of the Broom Closet Scene where Syril and Dedra kissed, but I think if he read this fic, he would've decided to adapt it in a flashback. @air-mechanical has plenty of other Keero works, too, and some involving Major Partagaz. Check them out!

Favorite excerpt: Dedra kisses him again. She kisses him hard, a closed mouth kiss onto his pliant lips. He has no right to be so unmoved. No right to feel so soft. No right to ignore her. No right to deny her after he’s just demonstrated that he’ll give her anything. Dedra kisses him harder. She pushes into him as if pressure is all it takes to break someone. Syril doesn't buckle. He doesn't whine. He doesn't gasp and pass out and hit his head. He doesn't do any of the things she's told herself that he'd do, that she was looking forward to him doing, that she needs him to do.

He just stands there.

Christmas in Evergreen by SerenaMandrake @calidris-pygmaea, on here - Rating: General Audiences. Last year, around Christmas, a few of us were throwing around the idea of putting Syril and Dedra in a trope-riddled Hallmark-movie scenario with Dedra as a corporate lawyer and Syril as a small-town cop. @calidris-pygmaea actually wrote it, thank goodness, and it's everything I could've hoped for. It's a hilarious, anti-Hallmark Christmas story, with two people who forge a bond based on how much they hate Christmas (and how much they love their jobs). There's genuine warmth in it, even though the two main characters remain cold as ever. (As they should and would be.) This one, too, has a sequel in Fifty-Five Cubits an Hour, which turns up the heat but maintains the humor and creativity of the original. Both of these fics are hot chocolate on a chilly day, to me. @calidris-pygmaea has also written other Keero one-shots and multichapters, so check them out!

Favorite excerpt: Every single radio station is playing the same carols, and Dedra is driving too fast. It's two days before Christmas, and she'd assumed that no-one in this hopeless town would be bothering to give speeding tickets. They're barely bothering to keep anything else functioning — every document she needs has been more difficult to acquire than it should have been, and even locating a cup of coffee at 6am was a challenge. But about the speeding tickets, she was wrong.

Scattered Wavelengths by unknowntelephone @lighttailoring, on here - Rating: Mature. This fic is an excellent example of what Syril and Dedra's relationship could be. Syril brings Dedra to a special place from his past, and it means everything to him to have her there. At the same time, Dedra tries desperately to figure out why this is so important to him, and on what level, if any, she should care about this place or the man who'd brought her there. The writing is descriptive, sharp, and accurate to the show. As a bonus, there's even some Uncle Harlo backstory. It's a sweet moment in the lives of two relatively bitter Imperials. I would also like to recommend several other works of @lighttailoring's, but they are very VERY explicit and I'm not sure that's allowed for Andor Appreciation Week. If you're 18+ and okay with reading smut, they're extremely well done.

Favorite excerpt: She suddenly wants to get closer to him. Her legs carry her, almost unbidden, across the half-metre of concrete and rusted railing between her body and his. She wants to look into his eyes like she does with her suspects; to locate the speck of whatever emotion it is that he’s feeling and lock onto it, isolate it, draw it in and absorb it into herself so she can inoculate herself against it. But he’s too quick for her - he steps behind her swiftly and slides his arms around her, his chin gently brushing against the top of her head.

The absolute fucking audacity. 

In Limbo by weirdopalido @karnpuffs, on here - Rating: Audiences Teen and Up. There is nothing tumblr user karnpuffs can't do. Art? She's got it. Memes? You know it. Hilarious fanvids of Dedra's brain making Windows XP error noises? Absolutely. Bracelets based on Syril's cereal? No problem. But you might not have known that tumblr user karnpuffs also writes, and I absolutely love her version of how Syril and Dedra get away from the Ferrix riot — a question I'm not sure we'll get an answer to in canon, given the time jumps. There's so much deliciousness going on; general awkwardness from awkward people, fake dating for the sake of escape, "there was only one bed" (and who doesn't love "there was only one bed?"). There's humor and a sense of genuineness between two people who, for the first time, are really seeing each other.

Favorite excerpt: It was over. No escape, no way out. Like a reflex, she reached under her jacket for her blaster, but only held it firmly in her hand. A single shot would have jeopardized their cover, but she needed the sense of protection that holding the blaster gave her. Her throat was dry from the smoky air, she felt dizzy and had no choice but to cling to Syril for support. She gripped his arm even tighter, digging her fingers deep into his flesh through the layers of his clothing. Somehow she found comfort in the fact that she could make him feel her pain and anger.

Aren't You a Little Short for a Stormtrooper? by Sarcasmismydefaultmode @sarcasmismydefaultmode, on here - Rating: Audiences Teen and Up. Listen. This fic is fun. Back in the days when Season 2 seemed like a distant hope, the Syril/Dedra fandom saw a grainy filming photo of what looked like Dedra wearing armor and ran with it... and this fic was the result. With time an enemy of the Empire, she goes to rescue Syril before the Rebels can hunt him down and neutralize him. As bad luck would have it, she has to wear a Stormtrooper suit to do accomplish her mission. Despite the funny premise, these two are kept in character, and there are several nods to iconic moments from A New Hope in the writing. Plus, Attendant Heert is here!

Favorite excerpt: Dedra’s eyes searched his, feeling like they’d been warped back to that moment outside the ISB when he first accosted her, his eyes intense and focussed solely on her, his hand daring to reach out and cling to her arm. Just as then, there was equal parts desperation and adoration in his gaze now, only slightly tempered by the annoyance he felt towards her ambivalence for him. It fed her own irritation that he had not moved past that, had not moved past the distraction of his worship of her with the chances she had given him since Ferrix, but it also called to something in her, to her own sense of power, power that she still held over him, that he was still hers to command if she was wise.

I also want to give a shout-out to @hegodamask, who is not a writer but is an incredibly talented gifmaker and poster of meta and headcanons. She deserves so much credit for not only being a founding member of the fandom, but also for keeping us going when all we had were release date delays and trailers that looked like they were filmed underwater. You're awesome, Ellen! 💕

Another shout-out to @chipthekeeper, who both writes Velcinta fic and, as I'm sure everyone knows, has been an essential part of the Andor fandom for a very long time over at @andorshitdaily. Thank you not only for your writing (and creating the Velcinta AO3 tag!), but also for keeping our spirits up and making so many people laugh over this endless hiatus, Chip.

[mimiri22-6]

Ok so, something's been driving me crazy for the past 2-3 days now; I can't find one fanfic!

-its a stranger things fic

-eddie still dies

-Steve visit his grave regularly

-wayne visits the grave to clean graffiti off it...or Steve does that, I can't remember now

-wayne talks to Steve about Eddie

-Steve slowly falls in love with these stories of Eddie and mourns never knowing him

-the kids graduate and are semi scattered around out of hawkins...or just spend A Lot less time with Steve nowI CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBE-

-leaving Steve and Wayne to themselves

-Steve and Wayne move in together/Wayne moves into the Harrington house because they are both just so sad

-meanwhile Eddie is slowly helped back to his body my El being directed by some gov/lab people

-its a success, and her and Eddie get along. I think.

-eddie still has to recover because he was comatose/dead for the past year(s?)(maybe the kids didn't graduate yet?????IDFK)

-El did all of this in secret without telling anyone, but since she would be gone for a long while she told a lie or something? Or she told the truth that she was going to the gov again, but didn't say why? I forget exactly how she loopholed her way out of not lying about where she was going

-El brings Eddie back while Steve is visiting Eddie's grave again and gets whiplash when Eddie speaks up behind him

-one of the gov guys, maybe the main one, was with and says something along the lines of'this is compensation, we found him and said 'we can use this'' he doesn't Really say that, but that's the vibe

-it was originally on Tumblr in multiple linked parts, I'm pretty sure, but it eventually got put on AO3 too? Maybe? Hopefully

-I Rb'd it but I stopped religiously adding tags forever ago when I Still couldn't find anything

-multiple povs, obviously, but specifically Wayne, Steve, Eddie, and El I'm pretty sure.

-i think I was looking for 'wayne munson major character death, or something' at the time and now I've exhausted all avenues and it's taking prescious time out of my homework hours because I can't stop thinking about it.

OH

-im pretty sure I read it back in 2023, if not, I 1000000% didn't read it this year and I Really think I didn't read it last year, aka 2024. So date published is narrowed down two, BUT I STILL COULDN'T PIN IT DOWN-

-Edit: Timeline for when I most likely read it is ACTUALLY February 3rd 2023-late June 2023 AT IT'S MOST NARROWED, CURRENTLY. I've gone backwards in my post history, and now I'm using the tumblr mass edit tool to try and find it. wish me luck o7

-it could be tagged steddie, but I was thinking it might have been one of those'i wrote this platonically but you can interpret this anyway you want' fics and that's another reason why I'm so unsure about this fucking thing

-there was absolutely no sign of the author bringing Eddie back in the first part/chapter until Eddie gave Steve whiplash

-the pov after Steve was Wayne and then maybe El and then Eddie? But the first 2 I'm pretty positive of

-i have no clue if there was a prologue, but they do bring the party back together to surprise them with Eddie and I Think that's where it ends

-it felt like a long read, but I could be wrong, it definitely wasn't short though

I was doing the search again this morning and I still haven't eaten and the cats haven't eaten, and I still have to read/consume material before class today and and💥(I'm legit going a little mad looking for this thing, I haven't been able to sleep a full night)

[fall0utmind]

i love your a/b/o fic SO much i’m so so excited

i was thinking - would it be fun to write a couple race scenes where marc really suffers during race starts, because literally EVERYONE in the pack he isn’t meant to be close to is surrounding him, and so riding way in front of them and winning is a relief not only because yay winning but also because the further away he gets from the others, the less it hurts? and even when he crashes he’s still far away, so crashes are sometimes a relief? and then of course in contrast, when the honda starts being shit during 21/22/23, he is just constantly surrounded by everyone, and it’s awful, and another reason he HAD to leave honda to go to gresini & a better bike, because he couldn’t continue on like that

alsooo i dont know how much of vale’s pov you want to get into, but to make it mildly less awful on his side, perhaps alpha commands don’t affect people you don’t have a pack bond with - and he thought marc had betrayed him, and so is convinced that even if he had used it, it couldn’t have affected marc, and the only reason marc is avoiding everyone is because vale sussed him out? i just want vale to be redeemable 😭

also - what about santi!! how does he look after marc during the whole time? surely he’s noticed something is going on - do he and luca end up teaming up? that could be funny actually.

(by the way, it’s better to put forward slashes between a/b/o because without it it spells a slur for aboriginal people! in case you didnt know 🫶)

Hi,

Firstly!! I am so sorry about the abo vs A/b/o thing - I had NO idea, or I absolutely would never have used it. I have gone through and changed my tag to #a/b/o sick fic - and all the posts are now under that instead. Again, big sorry if it's caused any offence or upset!!!!!!!

Secondly, your ideas!!!!

Absolutely incredible idea about the start of races - I never thought about that! Also media days, where they all have to be next to each other, wow that's insane actually, i really like the idea of playing that discomfort into it and how much it hurts but he HAS to do it. Because it would hurt more not to race!

And yes of course, winning, and especially winning by a lot - means less pain - woo. But the podium is awful, the hugging in the paddock makes him sick. Also, ohmygod.im, so sorry, guys, but I just had an idea. What is Argentina 2018, when he knocked rossi, what if it was because Vale got close and the pain flared and marc just wasn't prepared!!!!!!!!!!!! So it hurt so much more when Vale lashed out, and that's also kind of why marc Massively begins to repress???? Heartbreaking but such a good idea.

Also, the crashing out?? The races hurt so much that crashing is almost a relief.. in the same way that Jerez 2020 is obviously awful, but there's a tiny slither of marc, which is... relieved. It's sickening. I do really like the way it links in with leaving honda too because I feel like in this universe, with Honda being some of his only support, I didn't have a very good excuse for it and so this actually works really well! So thank you. I will defo include.

I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on Vale. I have to be careful because he does have to be redeemable 😂😂 or i will never be able to swing a rosquez ending! I really like the idea of Valentino assuming nothing has happened because Marc shouldn't be affected because he's not bonded or pack! It would also make a lot of sense about alphas only being about to use their voices on pack members. Or it could be incredibly bad in this universe, and I don't want to think about it 😭 so yeah that's another idea I'm probably gonna steal!

Okay, santi!!! Defo marcs main protector - alpha,? I think. He takes a big brother role in this. It could be very tempting to make him a love interest, but I might cave and end up making it a non- rosquez ending.... so big brother energy. He's defo noticing what's going on. I want to say that he works it out? Or begins to/ has some kind of idea, without knowing what actually happened. He defl provides a lot of the pack support in Honda, and is pivitol in making sure the atmosphere is good for marc there (although marc doesn't realise it - santi makes sure there's little things around - soft blankets, a spare hoodie. And then post 2018, he asks marcs crew to tone down their scents a little on race weekends, pretends he's having medical issues to cover for marc etc.)

I love the idea of him teaming up with luca, especially once marc leaves and luca joins Honda!!! Fantastic idea.

So many super good ideas in this ask so thank you so so much! I appreciate it 😊😊

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Happy Valentine's Day my fellow RWBY fans. This should be a day focused on love. Which is why I'm going to talk about something that's been troubling me for a while. This isn't about any single post, and I'm not singling anyone out. I'd put this under a read more cut but I think it's important enough not to do that. Scroll down for TLDR and a poll.

One of the common courtesies of tumblr etiquette is: don't tag hate with things like a ship tag or character tag. Or should be common, but let's face it, it's more like uncommon.

A good chunk of tumblr users who I end up blocking are those who post hate in tags like the 'Bumbleby' tag, or 'Yang Xiao Long' tag (it'd be the 'RWBY' tag too, but I don't often go there and rarely post in it). No, it's not toxic to block people, it's how you control your tumblr experience. It's how I avoid seeing hate, or try to.

But there are some tumblr users who I don't want to block but also end up putting hate in the tags: some of my fellow fans. It's not intended the same way as those who do it out of spite, but the end result is the same: your fellow fans end up seeing stuff they might prefer not to.

There's another rule, an old one that predates tumblr: don't feed the trolls. Don't give them attention. Please delete anon hate rather than answer it, although I definitely understand how trolling trolls can be fun. Just please don't tag it with the main tags or you'll do the anon's work for them if it's hate about a ship or character.

I see all too much fan art around that gets far less engagement than posts trying to fight back against hate (and unfortunately share the hate at the same time, especially when it's something from elsewhere like reddit or twitter). If you like the art, don't only hit that heart button, reblog it too!

RWBY fandom isn't dead, but we do need to do our part to encourage artists to make and share more art. Likes alone don't help the art get in front of more fans. I don't think everyone looks in the tags to find art, some will rely on those they follow reblogging art. This goes for sharing fic too! And giving fic writers comments (and kudos on AO3).

This is an appeal to keep negativity out of the main tags. I'm not saying you can't post whatever you want, just when it comes to tagging: please spare a thought for your fellow fans who are incredibly tired of negativity. If all else fails, maybe include a tag that can be added to filters? 'Wasps' for posts about Bumbleby hate, maybe?

I don't know about anyone else, but if I wanted to see hate and get angry, I'd be on twitter or reddit. I check tags here on tumblr to find fan art, and to see fellow fans talking about how much they love RWBY and its characters and ships, and find interesting theories and analysis.

I'm also not entirely sure how tumblr works with followed tags and words mentioned in posts. Do untagged posts still show up if the word appears in the post? Does that mean breaking the word with a backslash or something to avoid it showing up? I don't know, perhaps something to consider.

TLDR: please don't feed the trolls and don't tag hate with main tags. Show RWBY fan artists and fic writers some love and reblog their posts, and comment on fics!

One last thing: a poll to find out if I'm an outlier and posting hate is actually normal in this post-twitter world.

[justchillandshipit]

Firefighters can't have beards, but stubble is okay. Also, a review. Spoilers will follow.

If it isn't okay for firefighters to have any facial hair, then Eddie really got away with something in his first few seasons on the show. I love stubbled Eddie.

I caved in and watched the show. It didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I'm actually grateful for that. Of course, I had hoped for more Eddie, but the way the story was framed, it would have been out of place to push in a lot of Eddie scenes.

Minear did say in an interview a few weeks ago that the rest of the season was going to be fallout from Bobby's death, so there is a possibility of more flashbacks that will fill in some of the gaps. Maybe? I hate that we might be deprived of a Buck and Eddie proper reunion, but I understand why it wouldn't be in this episode. If this episode was supposed to be about Bobby, then a big reunion with Buck and Eddie would have taken away from that. They just have way too much chemistry, and Eddie comforting a crying buck would have created a different tone that doesn't match with an episode that is supposed to be about mourning Bobby. I do think we will see more about how they are dealing with his death in the next episode. Even though the preview didn't seem all that interesting. In fact, that preview seemed boring. Anyway, as much as I love them, it isn't the Buck and Eddie show. Bobby deserves to have his spotlight, especially if this is the end for him. Except... Did he really have the spotlight?

Taking the show at face value and accepting that Bobby is dead, the storytelling is off somehow. I can't quite put my finger on what is bothering me. I mean, the episode was about his death. I can't dispute that. There were flashbacks with him in them to set up the B-plot. The scenes where he was a foil for Athena's grief and she talked with his ghost were amazing. Her conversation with Hen and the way she addressed her feelings about the way he died made sense. As always, a stellar performance from her. Actually, hats off to all the amazing performances from our mains. Hen breaking down with Karen, Chim on the roof and also lashing out at Gerard, Buck trying to remain stoic for everyone around him while still managing to look completely devastated (Stark does that so well,) and finally, the normally stoic Eddie allowing tears to roll down his face with no attempt to hide them (character growth) --all of these touches were on par and they fit well with Bobby truly being gone. That said, something just didn't seem right, and the problem is definitely NOT coming from the actors. Is it a writing problem or a directing problem?? I'm just not sure, and I don't want to point fingers. I really would just like to understand the story. I don't feel like I can take this show at face value, and that may be fine for some stories, but not a character death. I mean, I don't mind some subtext, but there shouldn't be more happening in the subtext than in the show itself. (If that is even what is happening here.)

I did see where people didn't like the flashbacks and basically crapped on the B-plot? The B-plot was a woman who thought her daughter wasn't really dead after 9 years??? Having a secondary plot that teaches a main character a lesson is very on brand for this show. They do it all the time, so I didn't feel it was out of place exactly, but this specific choice seems very odd to me. Does Minear want us to accept Bobby's death or not? A lot of effort went into that funeral procession. Yet, with all that effort, there were no eulogies. None. The massive firefighter funeral with all the bells and whistles had to cost a great deal of money. It really seemed like it was set to go big with a massive goodbye to a beloved character, but then it fizzled. The funeral was tagged onto the end of the show. It was a big deal, but somehow managed to still seem rushed. I once again point out that there were no eulogies.

The funeral is where I expected to see flashbacks from each character, something that showed moments between them and Bobby. (The flashbacks could have included moments we had seen before or were new to us.) I'm not really trying to criticize the show or episode, so much as I am trying to understand why I feel so unsatisfied. It definitely had high points, but if I am really supposed to say goodbye to the character, why does the episode feel so incomplete? Something was just--off, and I just can't wrap my head around what it is that I'm missing.

Now, it could be that Bobby is alive. I've seen all the theories floating around about it, and the fandom appears to have the receipts to support some of those theories despite how the episode ended. Now, I can't allow myself to think that Bobby survived. My mental health will not allow me to crash the way I did in the previous episode every time he doesn't show up from now until the end of the season. I can entertain the possibility for discussion's sake, but I can't allow myself to fully believe it.

Here is the thing, even if Bobby were alive, I'm left wondering what Minear is trying to get us to feel as an audience. I mean, he must have some point to it. Maybe? Does he want us to believe Bobby is dead, only to surprise the general audience with a plot twist? If he wanted to do that, why drop so many breadcrumbs? Why make Bobby's death so ambiguous? You can't tell me a seasoned writer can't come up with something definitive. Why would you want your audience to hope and never follow through? I can understand it when writers and actors say, "Just try to follow and enjoy the story," but one, I can't enjoy a story with Bobby dead. Two, the story isn't making sense if I accept it at face value. Where are the eulogies?

If Bobby were alive, drawing out the death for several episodes is a cruel thing to do to an audience when we know that Tim knows; 911 used to be a comfort show for most viewers. (We know he knows it because we had that Brad episode that point-blank acknowledged this point.

____

Funeral and Bobby aside for a moment, I'm seeing people upset that Buddie isn't happening in every episode. (For clarity, Buddie is a ship name for couples. I'm still seeing posts where people are saying they will be canon if there is a feelings realization, but nope, they aren't canon until they take the next step in their relationship and attempt to create something more than friends. So, Buck and Eddie officially getting together is not something I expect to happen this season. If Minear truly wanted to shock me, it wouldn't be with character death or withholding the truth about Eddie's sexual identity; it would be to make them canon within these last three episodes. lol) Honestly though, I want Buddie to happen as much as any shipper out there, believe me. but Eddie isn't officially out of the closet yet. They have had all season to do it, and I am still giving them until the last episode of the season before I declare the ship dead and move on. However, I don't think I'm going to have to move on. I feel like Eddie's sexuality will be addressed in some way that clarifies in canon and for the general audience that he is NOT straight. If that doesn't happen, then I will come back and give my theories on why. I'm not going there yet. My ship has not sunk.

If you stayed until the end, thanks. This got longer than I intended.

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[stargirlie-sharon]

sort of a happy vent appreciation ramble related to rcp? uhh not sure what to exactly call this but here goes.

wow. i've been liking robocar poli since, what, since i was a kid? yeah, i loved this show to death and i still do. i remember watching it on this local indonesian tv channel (rtv) and i'd always be eager to watch it whenever it came on. since i watched it on local television it was always in indonesian, and being more fluent in english, it wasn't the most ideal but i took what i could get, and once i got ahold of a dvd that was in english i was ecstatic.

i had toys of all 4 of the main cast, unfortunately most of them were given away, but i kept amber (since she was my favorite ofc). she's actually in my room rn as i write this lol. i would go search on google or youtube to find robocar poli fan media and that's when i found out about the fan community. i found fanart and fanfiction (which was probably my first exposure to fanfiction entirely??) and i loved it. but as a kid i didn't really interact that much with them aside from some comments here and there

i had seen some of the rcp content on tumblr before i got tumblr, except i didn't actually see it on tumblr it was on some sketchy site called tumbik where you could see tumblr posts without logging in, but there were pop up ads and weird accounts displayed on the side(s?) lmaooo. but when i actually got tumblr i was excited to interact with more rcp fans and see all the content for it! and boy, have i met some really wonderful people

our fandom may not be the biggest one but its fanbase has so much love and dedication to it, i can confirm. all the aus, writings, art, roleplays, etc have so much passion behind them and i admire it. i don't think roi visual even knows how much this fandom loves this childrens' cartoon they made.

i've grown along with this cartoon and its fandom and it puts a smile on my face to know that we all share the same passion, and how the fandom cares for each other

tagging my dear mutuals/really cool people:

@polina-tvorozhok @lunar-rcp @stupidloafofbread @hayuki-marina @bulgariandeficit @st3llast4rl1ght @anakerasuci @darkoplayzzz @ovakinddarling @bridgemino @stormvanari @broomstownpatrol @hearts--stars @ririalww @canyonkingdom (may ck and rheneas rest in peace) @kidshowsarecool @figitorynonsenseptii @themoldinyourlunchly @straykittenidkk @pretty-princess-pop @karolina-blok @creme-knights123 @light-everything-in-pink @annintheclouds !!! sorry if i'm forgetting anyone else, but regardless if you get tagged or not...

I LOVE YOU GUYS SM!!! YOU'RE AWESOMESAUCE!!! DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!!! <3

[zephyrsluminouslunacy]

"If someone ignored Lunar's feelings so callously he would throw a hissy fit" a look into Lunar from coming back to life, and how his feelings have consistently been ignored.

So I saw a post where someone said that if someone ignored Lunar's feelings he would have thrown a hissy fit. I'm not going to tag the op or put this on the original post, both because I can't find it and because I don't want to start drama, but it got me thinking.

I think this is a fundamental misunderstanding of Lunar's character, if you look closely you'll see that his main response is to fawn.

Starting with when he first woke up in Montys space station. There's an unfamiliar person he's never met before there to get him, he said Monty sent him, but Lunar is scared and disoriented and Eclipse is threatening to kill him again. He goes along with it, he doesn't want any trouble.

He gets back he's still scared but he sees Monty! His best friend! The person who brought him back, and he feels safe enough to show that fear. There's someone else there, and she's so tall and he's so small and she's another new person, but Monty cares about him, he voices his discomfort and his fear. And the big lady listened! She offered to step away, but then Monty told her not to, told her to come closer. Lunar learns he can't be vulnerable around Monty anymore, the mask goes up. You can watch in that episode the switch in Lunar's behaviour in that moment. As he realizes Monty isn't that excited to see him, that they care more about this new person (who's also his sister so he has a sister now too) than him.

Eclipse is dead! He's safe! He can go see his brothers! Except Monty just drops that the Moon he knew, the first person to show him kindness, the person who took him in, gave him a family despite everything he had done, was dead, and there's a new Moon now. He doesn't have time to think about that though (he isn't allowed to grieve his brother) because he has to go meet this New Moon, this person wearing the skin of his brother, with his name and his voice, but who isn't him. The mask stays on.

Sun got hurt, and because of that these two people he doesn't know (his siblings, strangers who claim to be his family) don't want him to see his brother (his only real family).

He's sharing a room with his sister (he met her an hour ago, he doesn't know her he doesn't trust her) sure why not.

Sun says he should talk to Earth about his trauma, he doesn't know her, but he trusts Sun, so he'll give it a shot. (He's not ready to talk about it, he doesn't feel safe. He has to anyways)

Earth is great! They're getting along really well and she's actually been helping him a lot, he trusts her enough he tries to open up about his abuse. Suddenly the wind picks up, she goes flying. He can't talk about it or else people will get hurt.

Bloodmoon is back, and broke his arm and nearly ripped out his eye. Earth brought him down to parts and service and stabilized his arm. No one else checked to make sure he was alright.

Sun and Moon are gone, the daycare blew up, he can't get upset about that. There are star people and they told him if he doesn't control his emotions that other star people will come kill him. He isn't allowed to feel emotions.

Sun and Moon are back! Sure they took care of that weird broken guy and fixed Monty before coming to see him, that's fine that makes sense! (Those were more important than him) he can't be upset, he isn't allowed to feel.

Nice Eclipse is here! And that's great, he's his brother and he cares about him so much! He looks like Eclipse did when he killed him, every time he looks at him he thinks about begging for his life for Eclipses amusement, knowing he wasn't going to survive. He needs to get over that though, he isn't the person who hurt him. It's cruel to see him that way. He needs to get over it.

Bloodmoon hurt Earth. His sister is sitting there broken and he can't shove his anger down. He attacks Bloodmoon, doesn't even really injure him, but scares him off. He collapses, lays in the lobby next to his broken sister, and when he comes to again, who knows how much later, she's gone. He rushes to tell his brothers. They're more worried about her than him (as they should be, he's not the one missing, sure he's having a breakdown, but that doesn't matter, his feelings don't matter)

He's in trouble for using his powers against Bloodmoon, he's dangerous, now he's inconvenienced his new friends because he got mad at them for hurting his sister (his emotions are an inconvenience)

Eclipse is back and no one told him. He's hurt, he's betrayed, he feels lied to, Moon would rather have Solar build a whole new animatronic to be his bodyguard than have to deal with Lunar having a trauma response (his trauma is an inconvenience)

Gemini rejected him, he accepted their rejection with grace, but they knew he was upset, it rained harder, they're disappointed (he's not allowed to feel emotions)

Earth keeps trying to get him to talk about his trauma, she brings it up like it's casual conversation, like she doesn't realize how triggering it is. He fawns, he dissociates, he nods his head along and tries not to listen to her words. They're about to open for the day, if he talks about it he won't be able to work. If he talks about it he'll be forced to feel, if he talks about it he might get mad and lose control of his powers and hurt her.

Eclipse shows up, he starts mocking him, belittling him, why isn't Earth making him leave? Why is she trying to talk to him. The dam breaks, every bit of hurt and fear and sadness and hatred and resentment comes crashing down, he remembers being powerless, mocked, hit, tazed, insulted, belittled, had his bodily autonomy taken away, and he lashes out, he kills Eclipse.

And for a moment it feels good, it feels great, finally Lunar was the one who held the power! He was the one who Eclipse should fear! And then he sees Earths face, she's terrified of him, and it all comes crashing down. He's the monster (his emotions and his trauma make him a monster)

He's been in his apartment for days, the only person who visited him was Gemini, they said he was evil, that now they need to fight for his life AGAIN. And they must be right, no ones come to check on him. His family hasn't heard from him in days. Aren't they worried? Don't they know that leaving someone who had a mental breakdown alone is dangerous? Do they even care? They're all too busy comforting Earth, because shes scared. (Earth matters more than him)

He has to go talk to Earth, he's still swirling in self hate, in grief and sadness, it's been raining for a week straight. He brings the downpour with him. He tries one more time to open up, he tells her about how the astrals might kill him, how terrified he is to die again. He's being selfish and making everything about himself, doesn't he know Earth is upset. (Earth matters more than him)

Either he's hallucinating or Castor was so upset still he felt the need to remind him he's a disappointment, he doesn't know which would be worse. He doesn't mention it (his problems aren't important)

Solar dies, his brother, the person who helped him heal, he shuts down. He's learned by now that feeling only hurts himself and others, he goes numb, dissociates (people like him better this way)

The creator wants to kidnap him, no ones treating it like a big deal, he's overreacting, he gets over it.

Eclipse gives Earth a gift. He pretends it doesn't hurt, he's suspicious, he's allowed to be suspicious (why does she deserve his kindness but he doesn't?)

Earth and Eclipse are friends now. It hurts, sure Lunar's never told her every detail, but she knows he abused and killed him. Sure he's not the same one, but he acts like it. He buries his feelings (it would be selfish to be upset)

Moon starts acting weird, he never got close to him, he couldn't stop feeling like Moon didn't like him, he couldn't stop feeling like he was a stranger pretending to be his brother. He takes a step back from the situation, it's easier to dissociate into apathy when he isn't involved.

Earth got hurt, Moon is dead. These things wash over him, he doesn't feel.

Old Moon is back, his brother is back, Moon barely reacts upon seeing him again, barely reacts hearing he died. These things wash over him, he doesn't feel.

His brothers forget to tell him they moved, despite him living with them. He's an afterthought, at least they invite him to properly live with them, instead of just staying on the couch. (He's an afterthought)

Taurus shows up, no one takes his fears seriously, he dissociates.

Earth goes to jail, everyone drops everything to try and help her, when they get back to the house she's greeted with comfort and love.

Moon hits him, no one cares because Earth is upset and she's more important (everyone loves Earth more than him)

Lunar gets assaulted and taken to jail, no one seems that concerned, people are busy, he goes home and goes to his room. (Everyone loves Earth more than him)

Lunar gets attacked, he doesn't know why Gemini didn't come help him. He doesn't think about it.

Nexus is dead. He falls into dissociative apathy, he can't be upset if he can't feel. He doesn't care (maybe if he says it enough he'll believe it)

Lunar's days are filled with dissociation and sleeping, he's depressed, he doesn't have the energy to get out of bed or off the couch. He tries to help as much as he can. It's not enough (his issues are an inconvenience)

He knows Earth is mad at him. He can hear her shout about how lazy and worthless he is, how Sun should be everyone's priority. He's too dissociated to care.

He's untrainable until he gets over his trauma. He's useless, worthless, repressing his emotions and leaving him a shell of himself isn't good enough because he's still affected by his trauma.

Hes upset and just goes to bed so he stops feeling, and suddenly he's offered a choice, he doesn't have to repress his emotions anymore, he can be powerful with them. Rez waited until Lunar was at his most vulnerable, and then manipulated him.

It's at this point that I've temporarily stopped watching. But I think I still have a case to show that Lunar is not as much of a self centred brat as people think he is, his emotions have been ignored or villainized for as long as he's been alive, at least the second time. So he pretended to be okay while he was only getting worse and worse.

He would not have thrown a hissy fit if his emotions were callously ignored, because they have been, time and time and time again.

[di-42]

2024 fic roundup

Finally getting round to doing this! Just in time for the end of the year!

Many, many thanks to @curiouspupsicle and @bellisima-writes for tagging me all those weeks ago, ant to @cheeseplants for creating the questions. Enjoy curious's answers here, bellisima's answers here, cheeseplants's answers here.

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, only Good Omens, nothing but Good Omens.

How many words have you published in 2024?

133k. Huh! Me?

What is your greatest achievement this year?

In the context of fandom and fanfiction, being brave enough to put myself out there and share my work is probably my greatest personal achievement. But I'm also quite proud to have plotted an 85k fiction while working 55 hours a week (and being lucky enough to have a husband and friends to spend my free time with).

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

That's an easy one! None of my favourite three are the ones with more engagement, strangely enough!

And I Did, rated E, 85k.

While I know this could have been written much better, I am incredibly proud of this fiction. It's whole season 3 fiction where I managed to pour all my headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel too forced. I think it has an original plot, good side characters and tension. I tried to throw in some humour wherever possible as well. It features Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke of Hell Crowley. They haven't talked for almost two years. The end of the world is approaching. They are on opposite sides. And they both know neither of them was ever going to make a different choice to the one they made.

Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

My first human AU, wheee! It was so much fun to write! I think writing human AUs allows so much freedom, although one shots and shorter stories can be a bit harder than canon compliant short stories. But I had a chance to explore some versions of the characters that I don't really see in canon, but very much enjoy in fictions, and wanted to try my hand at that. And I liked the result! Written for the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards advent calendar.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

“No, you may not!” Barked the other. Then he started pacing up and down the pavement, rambling to himself. “Anathema’s going to kill me. She’s actually going to kill me! She had to go into labour on fucking Christmas day, just my luck!”

Oh, dear.

“In-into labour?”

The stranger stopped pacing and, yet again, looked at Aziraphale sternly. He joined together the tips of his right thumb and forefinger, and punctuated his next words with a gracious movement of his hand.

“Yeah. It means she’s about to give birth.”

“Does it, now.”

Angel! Angel! They're At It Again! rated M, 5k

I really love this little story of mine. I've been told that it made some readers cry and laugh at the same time, and it doesn't get much better than that.

It's the year 2030. The world never ended. Aziraphale and Crowley are living happily and safely together as a married couple. Everything would be well, if it wasn't that lately Aziraphale has been a bit busy. A bit distracted. Now, Crowley can't have that, can he? He seeks the advice of his girlfriends, who unwittingly give him an idea on how to liven up his marriage.

A fluffy story about how we get to a certain cottage.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Tying up all the loose ends in And I Did. Sometimes it felt like I was just hitting a wall and I couldn't possibly ever go through. I felt so embarrassed -mortified, really- that some people had read the story up to a certain point and I had just to let them down, because I couldn't possibly write anything that would make sense with the rest of the story. Even though the main points were planned from the beginning, there were still all those little details that write themselves, basically, and I had no idea what to do with some of them towards the end. I still don't know how I managed to pull it off, honestly, but somehow I did it in a way that I found satisfying enough.

What have you learned?

That people are so much better than I am. Really. And I don't mean at writing fiction. Well, people are better than me at writing fiction, but that's not what I mean here. The amount of people who are ready to read about someone else's ideas and headcanons with an open mind, enjoy stories that they don't necessarily agree with, is astounding. I have very much to learn from this community.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I could tell you. But then I would have to erase your memory.

A fiction that has never made it off the ground is a fiction that has yet to make it off the ground.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I was asked a couple of times, but due partly to my lack of time, partly to English not being my first language, I had to reluctantly decline. I do offer my thoughts on my betas' fictions, though. One of them hasn't published her work yet, and the other has a fantastic one shot on Ao3, called The Corset.

Aziraphale never understood just why he had been issued with a body likes his. He was the Guardian of the Eastgate, after all! So when in the 17th century corsets for men were fashionable again, he had an idea ...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Hah! We both know it's not going to be only three, don't we?

Some of these fics were written before, some long before, 2024, but I only read them this year. It's quite hard to pick my favourites among so much talent and creativity, but I'll do my best. I also can't help but notice that my all time favourites are not among the superpopular ones, so please don't be shy and check them out! (And leave kudos and comments!)

The Beginning Of The End (Again), rated M, 78k.

Season 3 fiction full of plot, great characterisation, humour and pining. It has of course a happy ending. It is beyond me how this fic didn't get more engagement, especially when it first came out, closer to the end of season 2.

The Anon Before Christmas, rated E, 66k.

One of my favourite human AUs. The characterisation is spot on and the slow burn is just absolutely perfect. But I did love the whole array of characters surrounding Crowley and Aziraphale. I love how this story is as much about friendship and chosen family than it is about love and romance.

The Bookseller And The Garden, rated T, 13k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley is a demon stationed on earth, Aziraphale is an angel stationed on earth, but they have never met until present day. There's no end of the world in sight, only an angel and a demon falling in love and not knowing how to break it to the other that they're not human. I laughed all the way through.

Wrong Turn, rated T, 37k.

Honestly, I don't know why this fiction touched me so much. I just couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. It's a post season 1 fiction where Crowley suddenly finds himself in a parallel universe at the time the apocalypse is just about to happen. The Crowley and Aziraphale in that universe have a different history to our Crowley and Aziraphale. All our Crowley wants to do is to go back to his universe and his very own angel, but how? As you follow the main plot and focus on Crowley's thoughts and actions, you'll start slowly feeling the other story get hold of you, and it won't let go until the very end and beyond.

Happiness, More Or Less, rated M, 21k

This human AU moved me so very much I cried. Crowley moves into his new flat in Soho, only to discover the flat in haunted by the ghost of the owner of the bookshop downstairs. I won't tell anything else about the plot other than it does have a very sweet happy ending, and it gets there via a rollercoaster of emotions. This is really one of those fictions that leave me in awe of the fandom's talent and creativity. Read it, read it, read it!

One last one that I haven't finished reading yet, but I know it's one of my all time favourites, is The Last Angel, rated E, 162k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley and Aziraphale were never assigned to earth, Armageddon happened and hell won the war. I've said many things about this fiction, among which that I can't believe the writer does this in her spare time and writing is not actually her job, and this is the most Good Omens-y fic I have ever read. It's astoundingly good.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Watch out for The Angel Horror Show! When I learned that Peter Hinwood, the actor who played Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't have a long career as an actor, bout instead went on to become an antiques dealer, I knew I had to write this fiction with Aziraphale as the actor who many years ago played Angel/Rocky in The Angel Horror Show and subsequent film The Angel Horror Picture Show and is now living a comfortable life as a book and antiques dealer, and Crowley as the actor who played Demon/Frank, and went on to become a successful movie and theatre actor and director. I've just started writing it and I'm extremely excited about it!

Who do you want to thank?

Without the shadow of a doubt @sabine-smitten-obviously and IneffableShortCake who have been so incredibly generous with their time and support in the past 8 months! But also everyone who's ever left me a comment making me feel like my stories were liked, from the long comments to the ones with just enthusiastic syllables, from the incredibly witty ones to the more personal ones, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

I think because I'm so late in the game that most of the writers I would usually tag have already been tagged by someone else, but perhaps a few haven't done this yet.

@smua70 @ngk-668 @ineffable-duck7

And anyone who wants to answer!

This was fun!

[fadedsweater]

lmao I think I reached the tag limit on tumblr for the first time EVER and you'll never guess that it was because I was trying to hash out my thoughts on the veil staying up in da4 😂

this is why before the game came out I had narrowed things down to two potential directions the veil plot could go #option one was the veil stays up and thus the story is about healing from grief and putting down burdens#this option assumes that the veil does need to stay up #it treats the veil narratively as a new but essential part of the world #option two is the veil comes down but through a better option #in this option the story is about trusting people and finding a new better path #it assumes the veil is an artificial construct that is hostile to nature #(this is the brief version distilled into tags but like you get the picture) #As much as I really wanted option two #I knew we'd probably get option one#because actually taking the veil down would radically change the setting in dramatic ways #In this option I also assumed that the veil would eventually come down on its own anyway #thus the necessity of a better way to take it down #my main issue with option one (veil stays up) is that it doesnt contend with the harm the veil does to spirits #or the fact that the veil is inherently an artificial construct #and after the game came out and actually gave us option one (veil stays up) #turns out it also doesn't do the best job of contending with what happens next #like okay Solas is the only person keeping the Veil up #but all the Evanuris dying off is what was making it so weak #so like what's the long term plan here like how weak is the veil when it's only sustained by one person

anyway the gist of the tags that got yeeted into the void:

In Trespasser Solas tells us that his plan would basically wipe out everyone and everything, that our world would burn in the raw chaos in order for him to save his. But in Veilguard, he tells us that he created enough precautions that only a few thousand people would die (still a lot! but worth noting that at least that many people died anyway as a result of the Blight and the Evanuris escaping).

So basically, with this canon knowledge -- who's to say there wasn't a way to take down the Veil with ZERO causalities? The move from "the world burns in the raw chaos" to "a couple thousand die" is a pretty significant difference. Maybe there could have been a way to keep refining the plan, creating more precautions. Idk. Veilguard wasn't interested in exploring that.

All this to say, Solas being the sole person keeping the Veil up seems unsustainble to me (and it is weird narratively - like the point is that he ISN'T a god?). It's also like...how weak is the Veil now with one person sustaining it? How is he supposed to sustain it FOREVER? What does that narratively say about our ideas of redemption and forgiveness? I don't really have the answers but it certainly raises those questions for me.

[salarta]

I'm deliberately not tagging this because this is so much of my own typing out thoughts and not wanting to cause problems for wronged people that don't want to be put out there in relation to what I'm saying.

One of the things I learned of overnight with Neil Gaiman is how he completely ripped off Tanith Lee for Sandman and gave her no credit. He brazenly took her creativity not simply as inspiration but wholesale without proper attribution. And it's only now getting a lot of recognition, decades later, after Tanith is already dead. There's also been points made of how Gaiman's given credit to male authors as inspiration, but not women.

Sandman is a comic book series. And as I was wrapping my head around that this morning, I remembered another situation within comics.

X-Men, House of X, Jonathan Hickman, and the multiple lives concept for Moira.

When the issue with that concept came out, an author publicly noted that the concept was eerily similar to a book they had published. Hickman gave no attribution to that author, no note of having been inspired by their work. If I remember correctly, Hickman denied any such connection. The author never said they were going to sue Hickman, or dragged him on main, or anything like that. They just left a passing "This is eerily like my work that I got published."

Now, I haven't looked at that author's book for comparisons. I don't know how similar they actually are. Depending on the level of similarity, it's not like the basic concept is impossible for someone else to also think of.

But here's the real thing that's getting me most right now.

I used to post on CBR. This all happened in 2019. And you know what I saw as the reaction of the vast majority of people on that board?

Badmouthing and smearing the author for daring to suggest that Hickman maybe hadn't been a special perfect boy who came up with the idea all on his lonesome.

There were people on CBR claiming the author was just looking for an excuse to get money from Hickman. People claiming the author was just trying to "ride his coattails" to get name recognition. People were going to the author's Wikipedia article just to make horrible edits attacking their character, and sending abuse their way.

All of this, because as hardcore X-Men and comic book fans, they were so, SO desperate, to bury this other author and ruin their reputation to "protect" Hickman and his plans for the X-Men comics.

And Hickman didn't condemn that behavior. To my knowledge, he still hasn't. He let it ride.

As a Polaris fan, so much of my focus has been on how Polaris, specifically, has been wronged by Marvel, and by male writers and editors in particular. The inherent sexism of how she's been treated across decades, the resistance to any actual, real, meaningful change toward the positive. The deep-seated need by editors like Jordan White insisting Lorna only won the X-Men vote because of Gifted, or Tom Brevoort going out of his way to try and remove Polaris from the Magnus family before the Axis retcon on Wanda and Pietro came down.

I've said before that Marvel is incredibly regressive and sexist wherever they can get away with it. They put spotlights on characters like Jean Grey, or Storm, or Emma Frost, or Captain Marvel to be able to say they're progressive and great, while sticking characters like Polaris into the role of supporting character for Havok and other men. Often depicted as incompetent about things she learned decades ago. Or incapable of protecting herself so Havok or some other guy needs to rescue her. Or just plain cutting whole swaths of her history out wholesale, like pretending she wasn't a victim of the Genoshan genocide.

It's an issue not just applying to editors either. When Beau DeMayo made X-Men 97, he took everything about Lorna as a survivor of the Genoshan genocide and handed it off to Rogue, while relegating Lorna to "Havok's girlfriend on X-Factor" and nothing else.

There is a thread of sexism that still runs very rampant through comic books. My focus when talking about most of it has been on treatment of fictional characters. Lack of respect for a narrative when a woman like Polaris is the one who has it.

But the sexism problem is much bigger than just character treatment. And it transcends any one company. Gaiman's sexism with Sandman happened through publishing Sandman at DC. The X-Men fandom sexism in attacking an author for DARING to suggest Hickman took someone else's idea without credit happened with Marvel.

There's a reason ComicsGate was the second most successful of the bullshit abusive male led "gate" things that went on a decade ago. I saw those assholes try to sneak their sexism and misogyny into other areas, like horror films and the metal music genre. They failed, because both saw the attempts for what they were and gave a hearty "fuck you" to the assholes.

ComicsGate garnered the level of success it did because the biggest players in the industry are sexist as fuck, and so are the hardcore fans of those biggest players. Though they take pains to create myths for themselves of not being sexist because they have specific women and female characters they're willing to do some good things for.

I never really got much into comic books until I learned of Polaris. And I think I know why. Even though video games have their own horribly sexist and misogynistic problems, there are TONS of developers and publishers that are big and successful. I'm able to avoid Capcom content and still enjoy video games cause there's other options besides Capcom.

But comics? DC and Marvel are the two biggest players in the field. You have to put a lot more effort into finding work you like in comics outside of those two. And the sexism and misogyny is very deeply ingrained. Even when they say they're doing stuff to be progressive, they then try to play on nostalgia for decades ago push very regressive views and treatment of characters to play on that nostalgia. At Marvel, moreso for X-Men than any other property.

I think that wraps up this post.

[asterythm]

on the ending of in stars and time:

an essay from someone who couldn’t sit with it at first, & a love letter to the fic that brought me here anyway. (…spoiler warning for in stars and time, naturally, but you knew that!)

if siffrin isat has taught me one thing it's that vulnerability is cool, actually, and being forthcoming and generous with love when there is love to be shared is how the coolest kids do it.

so. hello isat nation of tumblr dot com. i'm here because even after cutting out several chunks to shorten this significantly, i busted through the ao3 comment section character limit and still had more to say, so i needed somewhere to put it all that would let me go longer.

i’m pretty sure this post is for, like, three people, one of whom is me. but look, it’s been moved here to the webbed site so if you wanna read it anyway i won’t stop you!

=====

i think what it is, ultimately, is this: the ISAT canon ending was beautiful. it was an objectively well-written ending with so much love and hope and thematic satisfaction.

it also left me, for a period, with a deep and unshakeable sense of dread.

:)!!!!

now enter @faedemon's "None Forward & Two, Two, Two Steps Back" (hiya, fancy seeing you here), a two-chapter alt act 5 in which siffrin finds a New, Worse way to break the loops.

despite being, as mentioned, a notably worse outcome for everyone involved, this alt end managed to cut straight to the heart of that dread and settle it — and not in the sense of "oh, i like this alt ending better", or “oh, the canon ending looks better in comparison against this worse alt ending”, so much as "oh, thanks to this alt ending i am finally able to sit in a place where it no longer feels like the canon ending, as a beautiful outcome which felt impossibly lucky to get, is the only outcome in which life can go on — and my ability to accept it, and the game as a whole, is elevated for it."

which!! i mean!! i don’t know that that’s exactly what you set out to do; None Forward is explicitly a tragedy!! and one, as your tags say, written because the canon ending didn't ring true for you.

but I realized that the thing that was stopping me from enjoying ISAT’s canon ending was that ugly hard core that was still so, so scared after the canon ending of every way we (that is, siffrin + i as the player moving in that incredible ludonarrative lockstep with him, holy moly the harmony in this game) had not yet grown to earn it. 

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(I’ll take a sec here under the cut to say that when I played ISAT, and then for much of the month that followed, my main reason for engaging with it and its related content at all was that it was a piece of media that came fervently recommended by my incredibly dear friend @iconocat , who it had massively, violently impacted and whose media recommendations in general I trust more than anything.

so i played ISAT, and it was incredible. but even though it's a piece of media that just about hit on every point on my list of Things That Set My Brain On Fire, it failed somehow to. well. set me on fire — at least to the extent I was expecting it to. I still enjoyed myself in the few weeks afterwards of running through fan content and intentionally plunging myself into media analysis, but I was never convinced that I would be engaging with ISAT to the extent I was if it wasn't for the sake of trying to intentionally hack my brain to the point where I could share with my friend something so important to her at the same level of genuine investment. 

I’m telling you all this because, legitimately the same night I posted “nothing but a dull ache” (ie, if you're not charlie faedemon and are somehow caring to read this anyway, the epilogue oneshot I started feverishly writing the morning after reading None Forward), I realized through my rambling in my friend’s discord dms that reading None Forward was the moment the fire finally caught. I spent a month burying myself in ISAT content and asking myself “Is this natural yet?”. after None Forward, the answer to that question finally became a sure, wholehearted yes.)

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so anyway, back to the essay.

don't get me wrong. it's really, really nice, to read a story where the moral is less “you should have asked for help", and more “there are people who will unselfishly give the gift of a love that saves even when you cannot save yourself".

but that whole ending also was only able to happen because 1. they broke in a way no one should ever have to break, and 2. everyone involved got lucky.

which, in media, happens all the time!! it is not inherently dissatisfying for a narrative to wrap by saving you with luck and love in the nick of time!! in fact it should be incredibly satisfying, after the unambiguously-negative downward spiral into Director Siffrin who had begun to learn what to say and do to make his family behave exactly the way he needs them to, for a stroke of unpredictable luck brought about by factors entirely out of his control to finally be what sets him free.

but like... I think it's because the story is set in a situation where it's no longer true that luck and randomness is a factor by which anything significant can change.

we're hammered over the head with it: until and unless you do something to alter the course of events, they will not be altered. when you are the only dynamic element the world is reacting to in an otherwise looping course of events, you don't get to rely, anymore, on the idea that at any moment something could happen to save you. you have to assume that nothing will happen unless you make it.

and siffrin?? siffrin's literal motto was "stick to the script"!! they spend the loops with a mouth that kept closing tighter and tighter and tighter until i got to act 5 and watched them implode. and then I’m saved, and I know I haven't earned this. I get to the end and I'm still not telling them anything!! I wasn't supposed to get the good ending!! but I get away with it anyway with open arms and acceptance and unconditional love, and it's. kind of nauseating?

how am I ever supposed to learn and grow, if I didn't manage to change my behaviour even then under the threat of Eternal Looping Torment, and still got the good ending anyway? how can I prove there was an alternative way I could have broken free if things hadn't turned out so lucky in that one terrible act 5 loop?

I can't. and that's terrifying.

(aside: I’m speaking in the first person here to emphasize that the thing that got in my way is not because I don't believe siffrin is deserving of this love — quite the opposite, I think the driving force behind the good ending is that siffrin went scorched earth and saw he was loved anyway — but because this is a game designed to frequently encourage the player to deeply feel what siffrin is feeling throughout its course and. well. as a thing to happen to a fictional character it's beautiful. as a takeaway for the player, it's... harder.)

and that's where None Forward comes in. (i’ve already written thousands of words in comments and epilogue fic declaring my love by now, but i mean. im hoping you won’t mind just a liiiittle more.)

None Forward shows a devastatingly written, all-too-believable version of what might have happened if siffrin didn't get lucky, and the loops continued, and they kept clinging to the script and refusing to Look At It and successfully stagnating and stagnating and stagnating as they were so determined to do. and it's bad, it's worse, it's way way worse — but there's no reliance on outside factors. it comes completely from within siffrin and loop, the only dynamic pieces in the world, finally breaking out.

it was the terrible, nightmarish unfairness of the loops brought to their natural, just-south-of-inevitable conclusion.

and yes, it's a terrible, unfair conclusion, but the loop still breaks.

in a roundabout way, it... gives me so much hope. if the outside factors were different, if the stars did not align just right to allow siffrin's family to get there on time to save them, if siffrin never learned to open their mouth, which by all means seems like the likeliest course of events... they'd still get out. worse for wear, and separated by a gap unbridgeable, but out.

there is a future. there is freedom.

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to speak more specifically on dull ache, if you'll forgive the indulgence, just since this was originally meant to be in a reply to the author in my own comments section:

I think I so desperately needed to write it with a focus on the family siffrin left behind because I wanted to prove, if just for myself, that in that barely-dodged alternative there still could be a future for everyone. (isabeau's just happened to be the voice in which dull ache came to me, but the point was to create an epilogue for all four.)

for the rest of the family, who was not quite so deeply ravaged but was still left in a bad way at the end of None Forward, and for whom randomness is not pretty much unequivocally good just by virtue of being better than the alternative like it is for siffrin and loop (more on that in a sec), I could see it mattering more to set specific pieces up precisely, and I could actually imagine the pieces I could set up that could have a meaningful impact in the immediate future.

so. y’know. I set them, in the way I happened to want to. granted, with some extra... divine indulgence, but siffrin's departure from their family's perspective at the end of None Forward was definitely Wrong but not so obviously wrong that I could believe that without it they wouldn't otherwise either (a) go hunting him down to force out the truth, which felt Worse, or (b) just "accept" that it was as simple as Siffrin not actually caring about them/brushing them off and thus intentionally fade him into the distance in their minds to deal with it. which felt like the WORST POSSIBLE THING.

you'd think it might make more sense to have done this for siffrin and loop, instead. they're arguably the ones who need it most, after all, so why not build them up from rock bottom as a sweeping show of "things get better"?

but... i think it doesn't need to be written to have faith that it will happen: the very fact that Siffrin is about to set out on a new journey in a reality where everything is a dynamic player just. immediately gives me hope all by itself. random lucky things that save you are so much more believable and wonderful when random lucky things in general are happening all the time, and you have all the time in the world for them to happen.

and anyway, I don't think this is the kind of future you’d write satisfyingly as a sequence of events at all. to heal from this is something that will take an incredible amount of time and nonlinear progress. 

until one day, through a series of disconnected small quiet gloriously-random lived experiences, without knowing when it happened or being able to trace it back, you realize, oh —

somewhere along the way, you came to know how to live again.