inej-ruination-ghafa

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

Thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

NEXT OF KIN - J.T

Warnings: hospitals, near death experience

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x fem!Wilson!reader

Summary: the one where Joaquin nearly dies and you finally have to tell your father

Wordcount: 3.3k

Footsteps echoed through the building, the methodical clicking of heels ricocheting off of the walls. Everyone watched as you ran through the doors, yanking them open and scanning the sign on the wall.

Before the staff behind the desk could stop you, you were storming into the room and that’s where you stood for a moment, eyes glued on the window.

A doctor followed you in, holding his paper to his chest as he looked at you. He just watched for a moment as you reached a hand up to the glass, unable to take your eyes off of the scene.

“Excuse me,” he cared his throat and you turned your head to look at him. There were tears brimming in your eyes and you hoped he wouldn’t notice, “You can’t be in here without authorisation,”

when you said your name, the doctors eyes went wide. Your last name held a lot of power in places nowadays. Wilson. Your father had been apprehensive about you keeping the last name since his rise to fame, not wanting his daughter to get in trouble. Yet, here you were, with the same determined look on your face, willing to get in trouble if you have to

“I, um, I’m Joaquin’s next of kin, you called me,”

the doctor seemed to have gotten over his shock because he nodded his head intently, almost like he remembered calling you, “His fiancée, is it?”

“Girlfriend,”

“Miss Wilson, the injuries are extensive,” the doctor said as he walked over, looking at the scene in front of him.

You looked over again, staring at the surgery. He was under the knife and you just watched as they chopped into him, over and over again. They were keeping him alive, a ventilator on, blood bags ready in the corner.

Your heart was racing as you wondered if this was it. This could be the last time you saw him alive, covered in tarps and surrounded by doctors with bloody scalpels. He looked so fragile.

“I can see,” the words were hoarse coming from your throat.

You had cried most of the way over here. You had been in the middle of a work meeting when your phone had rung and you ignored it for a few moments before remembering that you had said goodbye to your boyfriend and father a few days prior.

joaquin had come to say his goodbye to you before he left, the two of you parting with a kiss before he drove off to work that day. He knew he wasn’t going to be back any time soon. And now here he was, lying on an operating table.

Your heart felt like it was splintering every moment that he stayed on that table. Tears pooled in your eyes as you looked at him in that condition; he seemed so fragile.

“He has been in rough condition but should be out of surgery within the hour, they’re just fixing him up. He broke a few ribs, has a few first and second degree burns, a broken arm,” there was a weight in your chest as you listened to the doctor explain it all, “His heart did stop but there should be no long lasting issues,”

Your eyes went wide and you turned to the doctor, a sharp pain in your chest, “He died?”

“Miss Wilson,” he tried to reason with you.

Your head was spinning and it was like you were drowning in all of your thoughts. You had nearly lost the love of your life, the one person who had ever cared for you so much. He had nearly died and you couldnt do anything about it.

“He died?” You repeated, breath heavy.

“Medically speaking,”

You choked back a sob, hand coming to cover your mouth as the tears spilled over your cheeks. He had died. He had died. That was all that you kept repeating to yourself.

You turned and looked back at Joaquin. You remembered meeting him for the first time at an awards ceremony two years ago. He was standing alongside your father and he had caught your eye in moments. He had come up to you, nervous, hands shaking, yet he kept that suave smile on his face as he introduced himself.

Now, as you stared at the man on the operating table, you realised just how much he meant to you. You would not be the same person if you had not met him that day.

You were so consumed with your thoughts as you stared at the operating table hat you didnt hear the footsteps approaching.

In the glass, you caught your fathers reflection and realised that he was going to see you standing there, crying your eyes out over nearly losing your boyfriend. A boyfriend he didnt know you had.

You and Joaquin had been together for around 18 months now and had decided to hide the relationship from your father because it was easier not to get him involved. He was so overly protective over you and you knew he would be mad if he saw that you were falling in love with someone with such a dangerous occupation.

as discreetly as you could, you wiped the tears from your cheeks with the sleeve of your cardigan, checking yourself in the reflection to make sure you didn’t look too bad before you turned and saw him.

”Kiddo, what are you doing here?” He furrowed his brows at you, giving you that familiar judgemental look, like he was concerned with your wellbeing but was disappointed that you were there, “I dont want you getting caught up in this,”

You shrugged, not sure what to say, “I got a call,”

“As Torres’ next of kin, it is procedure, sir,” the doctor stated, thinking that he was solving the issue.

Silence fell over the room and you locked eyes with your father. He had that look on your face that you hadn’t seen since you were 17 and sneaking Billy Newsome out of your second story window. He was so angry at you that you could feel it in the air.

The doctors eyes went wide as he realised what he had done, exposing something that he had wrongfully assumed was common knowledge.

He took a deep breath, tilting his head as he looked at you, eyes narrowed, ”Excuse me,”

The lack of words made it even worse. Those two very simple words sent a chill down your spine and even if you were 23 years old, you could still feel the panic in your chest, like you were a little girl about to be reprimanded again.

“Dad,” there were no words that you could think of that would fix this.

If your heart wasnt already pounding in your chest from how nervous you were about Joaquin, it was definitely racing now as you realised you had been caught in a lie.

“I am sorry, I, uh, Mr Captain America, I will be back in half an hour when the surgery is complete,” he explained before rushing away.

Neither of them moved as the doctor fled the room, horrified at what he had just caused. You couldnt care less, all you could care about was that Joaquin was going to be okay.

You looked at your father, the man who had raised you, your hero. Now he was giving you that disapproving stare and you were uncomfortable standing in the tension.

“Spit it out dad,”

He folded his arms across his chest, “What do you want me to say?”

“Hey, how are you doing?” You mimicked his voice.

There was that tension again, even if you tried to make a joke. In any other circumstance, he would have laughed but he just narrowed his eyes at you.

“No. Who called you?” He quizzed.

You rolled your eyes as you realised that he was really angry, “The hospital,”

“why?” Sam knew the answer. It was obvious at this point what was going on and he kicked himself for not having noticed it sooner.

He should have noticed how whenever Joaquin would come round for dinner, he would always sit beside you. Or the way that he would watch you at the galas that you would attend, his eyes always following you around the room and tracing your curves.

“I am his next of kin,” you said.

For a moment you weren’t sure what would be the right thing to do, whether you should try to explain it or just rip the band aid off. At the time, the latter made more sense but now as you stood there, looking at the shock on his face, you wondered if it was right.

After the two of you had been together for six months, you had both put each other as emergency contacts. He lived such a dangerous life and you would never forgive yourself if you werent there for him when he needed you.

”I heard that the first time,” your father said angrily, almost as if hearing you say it made it real.

“Then why did you ask again?” You scoffed, furrowing your brow. You’re sure that if anyone had seen the two of you, you’d be mirrors of each others annoyed expressions.

“I thought I was hearing things,”

He folded his arms across his chest and then looked to his right and stared at the operating theatre. They were starting to pack things away and you were glad that he was going to be out of surgery.

You followed his eyeline and the two of you were both silent for a moment as you looked at the scene. Joaquin meant a lot to the two of you so to lose him would have broken you.

You sighed, shaking your head as you remembered the situation you had gotten yourself into. Your father turned to you, giving you that look again, “What is wrong with you?”

that was the final straw. You were sleep deprived from the flight over to the Indian Ocean to see your boyfriend and you were scared out of your mind and you were angry at your dad and all of it just bubbled up at that moment and you exploded.

“Wrong with me! My boyfriend just fell out of the sky. He was hit by a missile and nearly died in the Indian Ocean and you’re asking what is wrong with me!” You yelled it out, hands waving around as you tried to convey just how awful this all was.

Although Sam was still angry at you for not telling him your biggest secret, he could see how much you loved Joaquin just from how mad you got. He had seen you stand up for yourself all the time but never like this.

“Calm down kid, I’m your dad, I am allowed to be mad that you didn’t tell me you were dating my protégée,” he said, shaking his head.

“For this reason,” you brushed your hand over your face, trying to calm yourself down.

“What?”

You scoffed, not understanding who he couldn't see what was wrong, “You are overreacting. You don't approve,”

“Its dangerous to be in love with a superhero,” he stated.

Sam would know. There was a reason why him and your mother didn’t work out, and that’s because of his time in the army. He couldn’t imagine trying to make that relationship work as a superhero.

He could see Pepper sobbing over Tony’s body, or Steve having to leave Peggy. All of those things were because of their superhero powers. He would never wish that fate on you.

“I love him dad,” it was all you could say, all you could think of to try and convince him that this was worth it.

“I can see that, it doesn't mean I approve,” he explained.

“That's why I didn't tell you. Joaquin, he wanted to, he hated having to lie to you,” you reasoned with him.

You thought back to a few weeks ago as you lay in Joaquin’s arms, before everything had gone to shit. He had asked you whether you wanted to tell your father now about the two of you. Maybe you should have done it then.

“He still did it,” Sam shook his head. He saw Joaquin as the son he never had, and he thought that maybe he was the only one worthy for his daughter. Yet he still lied to him for 18 months.

“Dad. He loves me and I love him. I will spend the rest of my life loving that man and the second i found out he had been hurt, I rushed over. I cannot lose him daddy,” your voice broke at the end.

There was silence. You never called him that, not since you were a little kid. He could see the fear, watched as the tears pooled in your waterline, threatening to spill over.

Although he wished his little girl would never grow up, that you would stay that innocent child forever, he knew that you and Joaquin were in love, just from the fear in your eyes.

“Come here kid,” he held his arms out.

It was like all of your lies didn’t matter and he just embraced you, holding you close as you sobbed into his shoulder.

For the first time since you heard the news, you gave yourself a moment to cry, hands clenched onto his jacket as you cried. You had nearly lost Joaquin, your dad could have died as well. Sometimes it was too much.

There was no conversation as you composed yourself, pulling back, wiping the tears from your cheeks. He placed a hand on your cheek, smiling at the woman you had become.

“You are going to live a very long life and so will he, you will get to do that together. I wish you would have told me,” he said.

Although you hated to admit defeat, you knew he was right, “You would have been more worried about him,”

“I am worried about him,” he said, eyes flickering back over to where he was being wheeled away into another room, ready to be transported back to the states, “He’s gonna be okay kiddo,”

“Thanks dad,” you smiled, knowing this was all going to work out.

Joaquin was transported back to the states within a few days, still fast asleep. You had barely left his side, the news constantly on by his bedside so you could see what your father was up to. You were sat by Joaqquin’s bedside as you watched Sam fight the Red Hulk.

“What ya watching?” A voice asked and you whipped your head to the side to see him opening his eyes, looking at you.

A sob racked through your chest and your hand flew to your mouth. You were happier than you had ever been before as you looked at him. He had been awake sometimes with the doctors but you hadn’t spoken to him yet.

“Dad on the news, hes sorted everything out,” you explained, knowing he wouldn’t want to be too sappy.

he hummed in response, closing his eyes for a moment. You watched him, that peaceful look on his face and you thanked whatever God was out there for saving the man you loved.

“You nearly died baby,” you whispered, almost like saying it out loud made it real.

He opened his eyes and looked at you, really looked at you. There were bags under your eyes from his lack of sleep and your eyes were red like you had been crying for days.

Almost like he hadn’t been in a near death experience, he lifted his hand up and brushed a hand over your cheek, almost like he was making sure that you were real and not some kind of dream.

“I’m sorry,”

you shook your head because there was nothing to be sorry for. “You’re here now,” you smiled at him, a tear rolling down your cheek that he quickly wiped away with the pad of his thumb.

“I should have been more careful,” he said like it would have changed it, someone would always get hurt in these situations.

“You wouldn’t be the man I love if you didn’t work so hard, didn’t go out there no care for everyone else,” you said.

that was one of the reasons you fell in love with him, his devotion to his job and his dedication for what is right in the world.

“I should be more careful,” he repeated, “I couldn’t stand not coming home to you,”

You took his hand in yours and placed it in your lap, brushing your fingers over his knuckles absentmindedly. There was something so domestic about the moment, in the way that he looked at you with pure adoration.

“I always knew you would come home,”

He nodded, tears burning behind his eyes but he didn’t want you to see him like that right now, especially when he is already so weak, one hand strapped up in a sling, burns healing over his neck.

“Dad knows,” you broke the silence.

You watched as the fear fell over his face, eyes widening. This was what he had feared for so long, of not being good enough for your father, his mentor, his idol.

“And?” He waited for your response, eyes still wide.

You smiled at his reaction, “He was angry, but he knows how much we love each other,”

Joaquin let out a sigh of relief, “I’m glad, so hes not angry?”

“Just a little bit,” another voice said and you turned to look over your shoulder to see Sam standing at the door, looking at the two of you.

You couldnt tell for a moment if it was a look of shock but then you saw the smile on his face, the way that he looked at the obvious love between you and Joaquin and you knew he approved.

“Sir, I am so sorry-” he started to defend himself but Sam held his hand up, shutting the boy up.

“As long as you look after my daughter then I will not be angry,” he chuckled to himself, “But if you ever lay a hand on her, I will kill you,”

“Yes sir, I would never,” he looked at you, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth, “I love her,”

Sam smiled, “I can see, son,”

Joaquin’s face lit up like he had always wanted that approval from him. You leaned down and pressed a kiss against his temple, avoiding the cut on his forehead that was still fresh.

“Can you give me and Joaquin a minute to talk, we have to discuss his new roles,” Sam said and your boyfriends eyes widened. He wasn’t sure what this meant but it could be about your relationship, or his role as the new Falcon.

“Sure dad,” you leaned down and pressed a kiss against Joaquin’s lips, a chaste kiss that promised that you would be back. When you pulled back and saw your dad’s disgusted face, you laughed, “Go easy on him,”

as you walked out of the room, you looked back at the two most important men in your life and wondered why it took you so long to reveal the relationship.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

they should invent a sunday that doesn’t have this sinking feeling

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

SAVE A HORSE- R.L

Warnings: underage drinking

Summary: the one where remus looks very good in that Halloween outfit and you finally make your move towards him

Wordcount: 2.1k

You hummed, leaning up against the wall. There was something about this moment, of looking at him from across a crowded room, your eyes meeting, that lit a spark in your belly. There was something different about this night, about the tension in the air.

Remus Lupin was your crush, of course you would never mention it in front of the others though. Only Marlene was aware of your crush on the tall Gryffindor. There was something about him that you had always liked, whether it be that cheesy smile, that awkward look in his eye or his pan physique.

He was always on your mind. You would catch yourself watching him at the most mundane times, when the two of you were having lunch together, when you would be revising for a test and he would explain the spells to you, your gaze too focused on his hands movements to know what he was talking about.

And tonight, he was clad in the most perfect outfit, a brown cowboy outfit with all of the bells and whistle; a flannel shirt, a brown waistcoat, a thick leather belt, chaps, and pistols at his side. Your face was heating up just at the image of him.

From the other side of the room, Remus shot you a smile and you brought your hand up, wiggling your fingers at him. He took that as an invitation and you watched as he manoeuvred his way through the crowd of people, brushing past them and muttering apologise.

your face was heating up as he got closer. You wondered what to say, act sultry or just friendly. There was something in the air tonight, and you didn’t know if it was the way he looked you up and down from the other side of the room or the romantic setting that always seemed to come with Halloween parties.

Before you knew it, he was brushing past the last Gryffindor and stepping towards you, folding his arms as he leant against the wall to your right. You turned your body towards him and smiled.

There was a silence. Neither of you seemed to know what to say for a while, waiting for the other to make the first move. You looked him up and down, taking in the cowboy outfit from up close.

“Remus Lupin, in the flesh,” you said, the silence killing you.

He hummed, looking down at himself. He had a fresh scar on his neck from the most recent full moon and he hoped you didn’t notice, or if you did, he hoped you wouldn’t mention it, “Or what’s left of it,”

You shook your head. You had known for years about his condition, so did all of the girls, and you hated that he viewed himself as less of a human because of it, “You gotta stop being so self deprecating,” there was a jokey tone to your words but he knew you meant it.

“If I don't have that, then what do I have left,” he said and the conversation fell silent.

He pursed his lips together, like he was holding himself back from saying something. You knew that any mention of his condition was sensitive and he could be pulling away. Internally, you cursed yourself for maybe screwing up the one chance you had at getting with him.

“You having a good night?” You changed the subject, bringing it back to mindless small talk.

He shrugged, a nervousness washing over him all of a sudden, “Good enough,”

��Come on, it is fun,” you gestured around the room, looking at all of the people dancing.

There was something about these parties that were so freeing, like for a night you could pretend to be anyone else beside yourself and nobody was going to blink an eye.

“What do you define as fun?” He asked, tilting his head to the side in an inquisitive manner.

“Talking with friends, drinking, a little mindless flirting,” you said with a shrug. You realised that you had too much to drink already at that moment when the words fell from your mouth.

You had promised yourself you would drink less at these parties, you had nearly spilt your secret affection to Remus last time and now you were rambling about enjoying flirting with random guys.

“Mindless flirting?” He raised his eyebrows, not in a way to tease you, in a way that he was curious what you meant, “The you I met on the carriage to Hogwarts would never have said that,”

You scoffed at the insinuation that you had changed and were somehow a local whore, “Maybe because I was eleven,”

He laughed, “True,”

You listened to the sound of his laugh. There was something about it that always left a warm feeling in your heart. You didn’t get to hear it often enough and when you did, it always made you smile.

There had been nights that you had sat in the common room with Remus as he told you about all of the struggles that he had faced since finding out he was a werewolf so you knew how depressed he could get. Being able to see him smile like he would always made your day for that exact reason.

silence, they relish in it

He looked you up and down, eyes lingering on your chest for a moment before he looked up at your eyes, “Vampire, classic outfit,” he said, breaking the silence.

You spun around, not seeing the way that he checked you out the entire time. You were wearing a black v-neck shirt and a maroon skirt with some vampire accessories, “Of course, I am nothing if not basic,”

He laughed again at your joke. Remus was hoping that in the darkness of the common room, you wouldn’t be able to see the blush that was growing on his cheeks. You were one of the most gorgeous girls that he had ever seen before and he wondered how he was lucky enough to call you a friend.

”You look-” he shook his head, not sure what to say. He didn’t want to freak you out by saying something a little over the line, “You look good though,”

You blushed at the comment. Of course, being told that your outfit was nice by the one guy you would want to be hit on by meant that your heart was racing in your chest, “You do too, cowboy?”

He tipped his hat and when he looked back up at you, there was a cocky smile on his face, “Howdy,”

You laughed, snorting at the look on his face as he role played as some dangerous cowboy. He smiled to himself, his confident resolve fading as he listened to the sound of your laughter. The sound of you snorting had him laughing too, the hand that was on his hat going to clutch at his chest.

“Don’t be mean,” you hit him on the arm, the sound audible through the music and your eyes widened.

“I’m not mean,” he feigned horror, hand coming up to his arm to rub the spot that you had hit. It didnt hurt, and you knew that, but he wanted to play it off like it did.

You raised your eyebrows at him. You had known him long enough at this point to know what his emotions were. That was a gift and a curse at the same time.

“You were the mean one, you laughed at my cowboy impression,” he deflected and you rolled your eyes.

“It was shit!”

“You could’ve been nice,” he folded his arms across his chest and pursed his lips together, giving you a look like he knew that you would admit defeat soon.

He knew you just as well as you knew him. He knew that as you rolled your eyes and scrunched your nose up, that you weren’t mad “Fine, I am sorry,”

Remus smiled, he had won the argument, “I was never mad,”

“I knew that,” you replied quickly.

You did. You knew what he looked like when he was angry at someone, the way that the vein in his forehead would pop and his eyebrows would draw together until there was a deep crease between them.

There was a silence, as if you were wondering how far you could push the playful flirting between the two of you. There was a heavy tension in the air, one that you were familiar with but normally it wouldn’t last this long.

Remus had this glint in his eye that you weren’t familiar with. There had been so many times that you had caught him looking at you, during lessons, in the dining hall, during study periods. But he had never looked at you like this, with a sort of hunger.

His eyes flickered down to your lips and you wondered for a second if he had meant to do that, or if it was just a reflex. Your heart began to speed up in a way it never had before because this might be your moment with him.

You only moved away from his gaze when you heard someone call your name. Inside, you cursed that person for getting in the way of your moment.

You looked over your shoulder to see a drunken Marlene waving at you, being held up by Mary and Lily who was with a seemingly disgruntled James. If the girls had just ruined your moment to get with Remus Lupin then you would be equally as disgruntled.

“I gotta go,” you said hesitantly, almost like you were waiting for him to stop you.

Remus ran a hand over his face, slightly annoyed that the moment had been ruined. He glanced over your shoulder and shot James a look.

When he looked back down at you, you had your brows furrowed as you tried to read him, “You’re popular,”

You laughed and once again, the sound made his heart skip a beat, like a vinyl jumping and spluttering in the exact sound of your laughter, “First time anyone’s said that,” there was a hint of self deprecation in the comment and he smiled, he understood those jokes better than anyone.

“Will I see you again tonight?” He asked, a little desperate sounding.

You shrugged, shooting him a coy look, “If you’re lucky,” you wondered for a second if he could tell you were flirting with him, but then he shot you back a smile and you knew he could tell.

He laughed at the suggestion, “Whatever,”

There it was again. As the silence fell between the two of you, the tension returned, holding some sort of distance between the two of you.

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and as the moments progressed, you could feel a tug in your gut, like it wanted you to get closer to him, to close tht gap between the two of you. Your eyes flickered down to his lips, his perfectly kissable lips and you wondered if you should.

You took a deep breath. This was not the right time to do this, not here, in the middle of a Gryffindor party, “I do, like your outfit actually,” there was a hesitation in your voice, like you weren’t sure how the comment would be received.

He hummed in response, “Really?”

“Yeah, you know what they say-” you reached up, hand coming to the brim of the hat and pulling it off of his head, looking at his tousled hair underneath. You placed it atop your head and peaked at him through the brim, “-save a horse, ride a cowboy,”

You watched as his face contorted into one of shock, eyes wide as you made such a crass comment. You only stood there for a second before turning on your heel and walking away from him, the biggest grin on your face as you realised what you had done. Maybe this was the first step to getting him.

A/N, I wrote this during Halloween but never got around to finishing it. I did just get broken up with by the guy that I kinda based this around so yeah, enjoy!

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

Pedro Pascal as Reed Richards / Mister Fantastic.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

isn’t it weird how it’s already february but it’s also only february

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

DEREK MORGAN & PENELOPE GARCIA CRIMINAL MINDS — S04E01: Mayhem (2008)

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

CARRIE FISHER & HARRISON FORD STAR WARS: EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

social media has got twenty year old women thinking they have to be a "clean girl" at university with a morning routine and face masks and expensive water bottles and a 9pm bedtime. I am begging the world to let young women go through a crucial developmental stage of being disgusting messy little rats. for feminism.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

New Girl – 2.01: Re-Launch

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST

— DEREK MORGAN

disaster strikes; the one where derek had never expected you to get into an accident, even though this was your job

i'll always find you; the one where you come home to derek after being kidnapped and you're not the same after that

mastermind; the one where you admit your love to your co-worker and realise he had known about it the whole time

— SPENCER REID

sweet nothing; the one where you wake up in the perfect life that you had crafted with spencer and your daughter

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

sweet nothing - s.r

karma | mastermind | masterlist

Warnings: none

Summary: the one where you are living your dream life with Spencer Reid and your little girl

Wordcount: 1.7k

You rubbed at your eyes as you woke up, an arm reaching out for the other side of the bed but it was empty. You groaned as you lay on your back, eyes opening to see how empty the room was.

The walls were painted a cream colour, nothing like the cold white of your previous home. This was what you had always dreamed of, a home with wooden furniture, a cozy bedspread that you could have laid in for days and days.

You wish you could have stayed in that bed forever, his arms wrapped around your body but he wasn’t there. You put on your slippers that he had left at the foot of your bed, wrapping a dressing gown around your body as you walked into the hallway.

For a moment, your eyes lingered on the pictures on the walls of all of your friends and family.

This was the house you had moved to after quitting the BAU. Spencer had removed himself from fieldwork the moment that you had found out that you were pregnant and had become a teacher, training the next generation of profilers and agents.

You could remember that day so clearly, when he had come back from a case to see you standing over the bathroom sink, holding a pregnancy test in hand. You had turned around, mascara running down your cheeks as you held it out.

You hadn’t been married at that point but the second he found out, he proposed, promising that your family would be together forever.

Now, as you stumbled through your house, morning sunlight shining through the windows and illuminating your path, you knew that you would be together for the rest of your lives.

You could smell food being cooked so turned a corner, walking towards the kitchen. Looking to your left, you saw pictures from your time at the BAU, you and the girls sitting in the jet, Spencer and Derek with his baby boy.

sometimes you missed it, wishing that you could have those action packed days chasing down serial killers, but there was something about the mundane life that suited you as well. A place where you could write your books in peace and spend so much time with your little girl.

You stood in the doorway, leaning up against it as you looked at him. He was standing there at the kitchen, the smell of pancakes wafting through the air.

He had the little apron that you had bought for him at a market years ago. There was a carefree feeling in the air, like nothing was wrong in the world. He was humming to himself as he walked to the cupboard, pulling out three plates and setting them down on the side.

You were silent, not wanting him to see you as you just observed this serene moment, his hips swaying to the sound of the music playing from the radio in the corner.

You were about to say something, interrupt his peaceful moment, when you heard the little pitter patter of footsteps running towards him and that was when you saw your daughter running over.

She was wearing your favourite dress of hers, pink flowers embroidered into the white chiffon material. She giggled as her father lifted her up into his arms, squeezing her tightly.

spencer gave the girl a smile, she was so perfect, a little mix of the two of you. She had his mop of unruly hair, and those big puppy dog eyes. She got your smile, the toothy grin, and your nose. She had dimples though, nobody was quite sure where she got those from.

“Shh, you gotta be quiet, your mommy is asleep,” he said, tickling her in the side knowing it would make her laugh even louder.

“Stop dada,” she protested, tiny hands gripping at his lapel.

he turned on his heels, about to bring her back to the table, and he froze when he saw you standing in the doorway, the biggest smile on your face.

There was no way that you had been this lucky. So many awful things had happened to you and Spencer over the years from kidnappings to near death experiences. You had lost too many friends to count and had suffered so much.

But here, in this little kitchen and this house in a rural suburb in Virginia, there was nothing bad in the world. There were no serial killers, no sadists, no narcissists, just the three of you and the love that you shared. There was so much love, it stuck to everything. You could see it in your smiles, in the comfortable silence in the room, in the childish drawings stuck up on the fridge.

Your daughter called out your name and you rushed over, pressing a kiss against her forehead. She held her hands out for you and you took her into your arms, resting the three year old girl on your hip.

You remembered the first time you had brought her back to this house, a few days old and so, so tiny. You and Spencer had sat on the sofa, her little hand wrapped around your finger and she had kept that tight hold on you all these years later.

it was funny to think how the time had flown by, how she had taken her first steps here in the kitchen, chubby arms reached out for her father. How she had said her first words in the garden, calling for her father - something you will never forgive him for.

“Morning Spence,” you leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss against his lips, listening to the way your little girl giggled.

“I was making you breakfast,” you looked over his shoulder and saw the extent of the mess that he had created in trying to make you pancakes.

You hummed in response, “I appreciate the sentiment,”

”Sentiment?” His hand came to his chest and he feigned disgust, “I am a brilliant cook,”

you looked down at the little girl in your arms, “You think your daddy is a good cook?”

she nodded, nuzzling her head into your shoulder. You gave him a look, as if asking him how you could have ever gotten this lucky.

”I’ll sit her down, you finish the food,” you said before walking into the kitchen and settling her down into her chair.

You looked at the table. Spencer must have been up late last night because there were pieces of paper scattered on the table, a poetry book propped open. You smiled to yourself as you tidied it up, putting the book on top of a stack by the door; you had too many books to fit on the bookshelves and they were starting to pile up in various rooms.

marrying Spencer had been the best thing that could have ever happened to you. He filled your life with so much joy, no more industry disrupters or chaotic people to get you both down. With each other, you didn’t have to care if the end was coming because you had one another and the little girl that symbolised the love between you.

You brushed a hand over her hair before walking back into the kitchen, watching as your husband plated up the pancakes, pouring syrup over them.

You wrapped your arms around his body as you stood behind him. He froze at the action, his hands coming down to grab yours as he spun you round so you were looking at one another.

Even after so many years of being together, you still got a little bit flustered when he would look at you with those eyes that proved that he wanted you, that he loved you mind, body and soul.

He leaned down, hand cupping your cheek to pull you up to him as he kissed you so gently, like he did when he had first laid eyes on you. You closed your eyes as you leaned into the kiss, hand coming up to the nape of his neck to pull him even closer to you.

You pulled away and looked at him for a moment. He was different from the nerdy boy that you had met all those years ago, hair swooped over his face as he fiddled with a pen. Now he was a hardened man, prison had changed him a bit but he was still your lover, still the same soft and supple man.

Marriage had changed him too, making him laugh more. There were more lines on his face now, a few more grey hairs in that unruly hair of his. Your daughter had changed him, added smile lines to his cheeks and made the sparkle in his eyes come back after years of being not present.

“I love you Spencer Reid,” you muttered before kissing him softly again.

He hummed in response, “I love you more Mrs Reid,”

you pulled away from his grip and grabbed onto the plates by his side, grabbing yours and your daughters before walking back to the table.

He watched as you walked away for a moment. This was so like Spencer, to take a moment to appreciate the little things in life, like the way his wife’s hips swung as she walked, or the giggle that escaped his daughters mouth as she saw the pancakes.

For years, he was sure he was never going to have any of this and here he was. He grabbed his pancakes and set them down on his seat, looking at you with pure love in his eyes.

He was ready to spend the rest of his life with you, siting at tables and laughing over poetry and pancakes, whispering sweet nothings as the world faded away around the two of you.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

Carpe diem, seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

PEDRO PASCAL at Sundance Film Festival 2024 for @swiftispunk ♥

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

MAKING UP AND OUT - S.B

Warnings: none

Summary: the one where sirius black realises the mistake he has made and tries to make it up

Wordcount: 3.6k

The Gryffindor common room was a haven for the seventh years, especially at 11pm when it was empty and all of the marauders and their associates would gather and drink whilst playing silly muggle board games.

There was one sitting on the table in the middle of the seats and they were barely playing, talking over the game as they would occasionally flick a wand to roll the dice. There was something so nice about the mundane moments in life, where they could all just sit together and forget all of the horrors of life.

Laughter erupted from the group at some joke that Remus made. He was sitting on the edge of Marlene’s armchair and she pushed him off, watching as he stumbled back into the armchair that Alice and Mary were squeezed onto.

You and Peter were sitting on the sofa, your legs sprawled out over most of it, the boy curled into the feral position as he just watched the scene. Dorcas was sitting on the floor below him, knees tucked into her chest.

On the other side of the room was Sirius. He had just come downstairs after a study session and was standing by the staircase, leaning up against the banister as he admired the scene.

The only two missing from the group were Lily and James who were on their patrols as head girl and head boy and whilst it did feel weird for them to hang out without them, it was good for them to spend some time together alone.

“Yes! Yes!” James yelled as he ran through the door, his hands pumping the air as he looked at his friends. Remus stumbled off of the floor and walked over to his friend, placing his hands on his shoulders.

”What? What’s going on?” He asked.

Nobody could ignore the wide smile on his face and there was a moment of tension as they awaited his news, ”She said yes!”

There was a resounding gasp through the group, Dorcas jumping up off of the floor as they all realised that the moment they had all been waiting for had happened, “She did?”

“She said yes! Lily Evans is going on a date with me!” He jumped up in the air with a cheer and the room burst into applause.

After seven years of pining for the redhead girl that sat across from him in potions, he finally had her wrapped around his finger. They had all seen this coming and were all happier than ever for him. The room was flooded with congratulations and cheers as they marvelled at their friends ability to succeed at the long game.

You, on the other hand, sat there for a moment in silence. Lily was one of your closest friends and you were so happy that she had finally decided to go out with James, he was the perfect guy for her.

If only you could have the guy that you had been pining for. Sirius was still standing on the other side of the room, his eyes trained on you, and when you looked up, the two of you locked eyes. It was like he could see the turmoil inside of your soul, the way you were happy for her but at the same time, envious of the relationship.

”We all knew she’d say yes eventually,” Marlene said, leaning over the armchair as she pat James on the cheek, him laughing at her.

When you looked back at Sirius, he was still looking at you and you could feel your cheeks heating up at the intensity of his stare.

Last October, you and Sirius had hooked up and it had been the best night of your life. He had told you that he had feelings for you and that he was hoping that there was something there, that he had wanted to be more than friends for a while.

You could picture him now, his arms wrapped around your body, his bare chest pressed up against your back as you woke up surrounded by him after a drunken night at one of the parties by the black lake.

Two weeks later, he had decided that you should remain as friends because it would be too complicated if you were dating whilst you were all still friends. You agreed with him because it would have blown up the friend group if it didnt work out. Still, there was a feeling in your chest like you were falling in love with him every time you saw him.

He was still flirty, always making jokes about the two of you, or sitting next to you in the crowded rooms, legs pressed up against each other. There was something there stil, an undeniable spark but neither of you had addressed it. So now it was January and your heart hurt every time you saw him even talking to someone else.

So yeah, you were happy for Lily and James but a little piece of your heart shattered all over again as you wondered what could have happened between you and Sirius.

James had finished his shift patrolling the halls so came to join you guys in playing the game, squeezing between you and Peter on the sofa, a hand patting down on his best friends leg as they talked about the ideas for the date.

You looked over at Alice and Marlene, the two sharing a quick whisper, the latter squealing, before Alice cleared her throat, “Guess what else happened?”

“What?” You questioned, brows furrowed in confusion at the amount of announcements going on tonight.

“I told Frank I love him,” she announced.

There was a collective awe from all of the girls in the room and an appreciative nodding from the boys as they all listened to the story of how they were hanging out at Hogsmeade, cuddled up at a booth and then she just blurted it out.

”Merlin, that’s amazing,” Mary said, smiling at the interaction.

Marlene narrowed her eyes, “He said it back, right?”

Alice nodded enthusiastically, not wanting to give anyone the impression that it wasn’t mutual, “Of course, it was so perfect,”

there it was again. You could feel that little piece of your heart chipping away at yet another happy relationship that had occurred within the friendship group and how they were working out.

Every time you closed your eyes, you would see Sirius there at the party, his hand brushing the hair out of your face as he leaned down to kiss you, pulling you up to his face.

You could feel the tears burning behind your eyes as you thought about everything that the two of you could have had and how easily he had thrown it all away, like it meant absolutely nothing to him.

You knew that if you stuck around any longer, listening to Alice recount the story to them all, that you would burst into tears in front of all of your friends so you stood up, stepping over the beer bottles that littered the floor, and headed towards your stairs.

“Ill be back in a min, just going to grab my water bottle,” you said, informing Remus as he asked where you were going.

You walked towards the staircase and you cursed yourself for using that excuse because you knew that would mean having to get close to Sirius. You could smell his signature cologne within seconds, your head tilting up to give him a polite smile as you started to walk past him.

“Hey,” he reached out and grabbed onto your arm, stopping you from moving. It was a light grip but you understood that he wanted you to stay so you didn’t fight him, “Where you going?”

It was painful enough to be close to him but now, with his long fingers wrapped around your wrist, you could feel your body heating up, your eyes trailed up along the veins on his arms from where he had rolled his sleeves up, along the obvious muscle of his arms exposed by his tight shirt, past the two moles on his neck, along his strong prominent jaw.

Your face was heating up the more you looked at him and you averted your eyes before he could notice how flustered you had become, “I’m thirsty,”

You shook your arm out of his grasp and he watched as you rushed upstairs away a from him as fast as you possibly could.

You sat down on your bed, head collapsing in your hands at the humiliation of the whole situation because he must know that you still like him and there he was, taunting you like he always did.

A tear slipped down your cheek against your own will and you quickly wiped away. Merlin, this was so pathetic of you to be upset because some measly guy didnt like you back. You could ask out any guy in this castle and they might say yes but the issue is that you didn’t want just anyone, you wanted him. He was everything that you had ever wanted.

Sure, Sirius Black had a plethora of issues from his problems with his family to his avoidance of being in a relationship but you could care less about all of that because you knew that there was something between the two of you.

You took a deep breath and stood up, walking to the vanity on the other side of the room and looking at yourself. Your eyes were a little red and there was a small smudge of mascara on the apples of your cheek but you wiped it away and prepared to leave.

That’s when you spotted his face through the mirror. He was just standing at the door, looking at you with that intense stare.

“Your mama never taught you that staring is rude Black?” You said before turning around to face him, folding your arms across your chest

He hummed in response, a cocky look on his face, “Mum never taught me anything,”

You could feel your face heating up in embarrassment. You were so ready to spite him that you had forgotten the biggest issue he dealt with, “yeah, sorry,”

”I should be the one apologising,”

You scoffed, “For what?”

“The way I have been treating you since that night, for starters,” those were the words that you had been wanting to hear for weeks yet you were sitting here and they were rolling off of you like it didn’t matter.

“You shouldn’t apologise. You told me not to do it if I thought I’d get attached and look where we are now,” you shook your head because the words were the truth. You never should have done it because you knew you would fall for him.

You looked away from him, the embarassment creeping up on you again. Being this vulnerable with him used to be easy but there was something about having to admit your feelings for him knowing that he probably didn’t feel the same way that left a sickening feeling in your gut.

There was a beat of silence and Sirius pursed his lips together, trying to decide if he was making a mistake in what he was about to admit, “I think I was speaking for both of us,”

You hummed in response. That was not the reply that you had expected, “That so?”

there was something about this whole situation that felt icky, like he was lying to you. Maybe because he was, maybe because you were just scared that he was telling the truth and that was just the worst possible scenario.

”Yeah, I think I got a little attached too,” he replied.

You shook your head because there was no way that was how he had felt, “You were the one that said we should stop this,” you gestured between the two of you.

there was no word for whatever was going on between you, more than friends but less than lovers. Everyone always wanted this, to be friends first and then fall in love but the waiting was agonising. The constant questioning if they really felt the same way towards you was slowly tearing you apart and you wondered if Sirius could see it, the very fabric of your being being unthreaded by his words.

”I know that,” he responded. It was so monosyllabic, like he didn’t even care.

There was something about his tone that caused the blood to boil in your veins, like he was so nonchalant about his feelings.

“You were the one that told me that you weren’t sure if you had feelings for me?” The words were starting to get agressive, all of that anger that had been kept inside of your chest finally coming out.

“I know that,” you scoffed again at the nonchalant tone to his voice.

You brushed a hand over your face, the frustration obvious now, “Okay. So why are we dragging this out again? It hurt enough to get over it the first time,” you asked.

Sirius rolled back and forth on the balls of his feet, a habit you had noticed after all of the years of knowing him. You knew him better than most people do, more than anyone. You could pinpoint the moles on his body, number the freckles on his face, tell people how he likes his coffee, the music he likes to listen to when nobody else is listening. There were parts of him he had only revealed to you so you knew he was nervous when he rocked back and forth on his feet.

“Because-“ he swallowed and you watched as he fiddled with the rings on his fingers, staring down at his hands. You waited for the rest of the sentence but you were getting annoyed, “-because I’m not quite over it either,”

”Shut up,” you spat the words out with a venom that had never been directed at Sirius.

You didn’t even have time to be shocked at his confession because you were sure that it was a lie, that he was teasing you for some sick, masochistic reason. There was no way that he felt the same way about you.

This. This whole situation had been caused by im being scared to get into a relationship with you and now he was here trying to retcon it. You were not having any of it.

the only thing you could think to do was leave before the tears that were burning behind your eyes spilled over and you embarrassed yourself in front of him even more. So you tried to storm past him, shoulder bumping into his. He grabbed onto your arm, his grip firm but gentle.

You weren’t having it. You pulled your arm out of his grip and he let go quickly, “Don’t,” you spat out, giving him a glare that was normally reserved for irritating Slytherins.

He muttered your name in the way he always does, voice low and sexy. It made chills go up your spine, even if you didn’t want to feel that way about him.

You shook your head, ignoring the way he said your name, “Do not do this to me,”

“Do what?” His brows were furrowed and his eyes narrowed like he didn’t know the effect he had on you.

“Make me think you love me! You’re driving me crazy!” Your words were loud as you looked at him, eyes wide.

You had felt crazy from the moment that you had kissed him, like a puzzle piece had finally been clicked into place and then immediately knocked away. You had been overthinking every little thing that he did and you couldn’t do it anymore.

The eye contact between you and Sirius was intense and you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from him. There was something pulling you two together, like a magnet. You had to get away so you brushed past him but this time he didn’t grab onto you to stop you.

“I’m so worried that I am falling in love with you and that is why I have been pushing you away,” the words came tumbling out of his mouth before he even had a moment to think about the consequences.

You froze on the spot, eyes widening as you realised what he had said. There was no way that the man thaat you were falling for had just admitted the same thing to you, it wasn’t plausible.

Slowly, you spun around on your heel to look at him and you saw him standing there in the middle of the room, eyes wide like a puppy. The second you had stormed off, he had panicked and admitted what he had been holding in for weeks, he was trying to make you stay.

”If this is some joke, I will kill you,” you said, trying to hide the way your lip wobbled as you held back tears.

He nodded, giving you a sympathetic smile, “Reasonable,”

“What isn’t reasonable is why you’ve been playing with my emotions for months,” you weren't going to let him off so easy. You had felt like shit for so long and one admission of love was never going to be enough to make you come back to his side.

He gave you a look like he felt guilty about the way he had treated you, and you were sure it was genuine. You just weren’t sure how easily you were going to get over it.

You thought back to the way that you would lie in your bed, a numb feeling in your chest as you played over moments that the two of you had shared, trying to understand where it went wrong.

Sirius gave you a look like he understood that he had made a mistake, “I've needed some time to figure out how i feel,”

“And you couldn’t have communicated that to me?” You asked.

“I needed some time,” he replied, like it would change everything you had gone through.

”Okay-” you folded your arms over your chest. You knew you would forgive him for it all, because your love was stronger than that. Still, you wanted to see what lengths he would go to in order to make it up to you, “So what are you gonna do about it now,”

there was a teasing tone to your words and he smiled to himself. The tension eased up between you and that great divide between you seemed to shrink with every step that he took towards you.

When he stood in front of you, towering over you like he always did, you could feel your heart racing. For the first time in months, you didn’t feel like that idiot that had been played by Sirius Black.

There were butterflies in your stomach as you looked up at him, his eyes baring into yours. It was like the first time you had kissed, standing outside of the Black Lake, his focus unwavering.

He hesitated for a second, almost like he was nervous. Then, he reached up and cupped your face in his hands, holding you so gently like you were porcelain that could break at any wrong move, “I’m gonna kiss you, and I’m gonna take you on a date and I am going to make this right,”

You hummed in response, trying to keep your composure but you were definitely a little bit flustered at how close he was to you, “You still have a lot of grovelling to do Black,”

“I know baby,” the nickname made your cheeks heat up even more, his voice low and sultry, “But will you give me a second chance,”

You sighed, trying to hide the smile that was creeping out from your mouth, “Of course,” you said, leaning in to close the gap between the two of you, capturing his lips in yours.

The whole world slowed as you kissed him, it was gentle at first, just a press of your lips. As he got more desperate, the kiss became more forceful, his tongue slipping between your lips.

Your hands came up to his shoulders, gripping onto the fabric there. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute and it felt like you were flying.

When you pulled apart, he rested his forehead against yours and smiled to himself, “Thank you, for giving me a second chance,”

You opened your eyes and looked at him, the red flush spreading across his cheeks. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his quickly in a chaste kiss, “Don’t screw it up,”

“Yes ma’am,” he muttered before kissing you again. He wasn’t going to mess it up, ever.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

CARRIE FISHER as Princess Leia Organa - STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)