inej-ruination-ghafa

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

Happy 6 year anniversary of whatever they had going on

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

We are all of us stardust, held together by love for an instant.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

call it what you want - taylor swift

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

CASSIAN ANDOR & JYN ERSO Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

PARIS - p.p

bigger than the whole sky | high infidelity | masterlist

Warnings: none

Summary: the one where you and Peter leave the rest of the world behind and have fun

Wordcount: 1.6k

There were very few times in your life that you would be doing this - running around at 11:38pm as the snow fell down on the street, the entire world feeling like its stopping.

Your hands were freezing from the cold, nose red, ears covered by a hat. Yet you didnt care.

This was a moment that you were never going to forget and you stood there for a moment, taking in the moment. You watched Ned throw the snowball, MJ ducking before throwing one back. It hit him in the face and he stumbled back. Peter laughed and you smiled, the noise music to your ears.

He had been so sad lately, even if he didn’t share it with everyone else. It was nice to see him happy for once, a smile pulling at his lips.

There were many times you worried about him but right now, as you ran through the snow with the boy of your dreams, there were no cares in the world because you were somewhere else. You could levitate above all of this mess and still be together

You balled up a snowball and threw it at him and he turned to you, “I thought I said that anyone who threw a snowball at me would face my wrath?”

You laughed at his statement, “Face your wrath?” You mocked.

He folded his arms across his chest, his smile falling, a serious look appearing on his face, “You’re in for it now,”

he leaned down, balling up a snowball and you did the same, hiding behind one of the cars on the street as you waited to see where he was.

When you popped up from behind the car, he threw one at you and you moved just at the last minute, watching as it hit the wall, “Where are those spidey senses now, huh?”

Peter scoffed, “I’ll show you-“ he started to say before you threw one at his chest.

He immediately chased after you and you ran away, shrieking as you tried to find another snowball. You threw one right back, missing him completley but he managed to throw one that hit you in the face.

Ned and MJ just watched to see your reaction. You wiped the snow out of your face, skin freezing from the cold and you looked to see Peter standing there, eyes wide.

“You are so in for it now Parker!” You exclaimed before racing after him.

He started running and you just chased after him, boots skidding against the snow. He looked back at one point to see how far you were away and he nearly tripped before continuing to run.

You didnt stop chasing him, yelling his name out aas you rushed after him. There was a warm feeling in your chest, a smile on your face as you raced round the corner and down the steps before you both ended up right back where you started, panting.

You turned the corner, stumbling into his chest, hands coming to stabilise yourself against him. As you looked up at him, both of you breathing heavily, you couldn’t stop the smile from tugging at your lips.

For a moment, it was like there was nobody else there but the two of you, staring at one another in the middle of a snow storm. Your hood had fallen off and snow wa starting to settle in your hair and on your cheeks. Peter was covered in snow as well, hair damp from the snow, sticking to his forehead.

You pulled away from him after a second, wiping the snow from your hair and putting your hood back up. You pursed your lips together, thinking about the moment that the two of you had shared.

“This is just their way of flirting,” you heard Ned say and you turned to him, eyes wide.

“Asshole,” you grabbed a snowball and threw one at him, missing as he ducked. When he came back up, you threw another snowball and watched as it hit him square in the chest, him stumbling back.

you smiled to yourself, watching as Ned walked away towards MJ, muttering something under his breath about how that was a sore spot.

You brushed your hands together, the snow tumbling onto the ground. Looking behind you, you realised Peter was still there so you held your hands up in surrender.

“Hey,” you called out and he looked up at you from where he had been staring at his feet, “Truce?”

He smiled, walking over. You took a step back, worried that he was going to spider web grab a snowball and attack you.

“Truce,” he replied.

He held his hand out towards you and you looked at it hesitantly before shaking his hand. You didnt look away from his face the whole time, his eyes tearing back into yours almost like he was trying to read your mind - a superpower you know he doesnt possess.

You allowed yourself to look at him, really look at him, for one of the first times. He had freckles along the bridge of his nose that you had never quite noticed before, his eyelashes were long, brushing against his eyelids. You felt the heat risin to your face as you noticed how beautiful he was.

If Peter noticed your wandering eyes, he hadnt pointed it out.

It took you a few seconds to notice that his hand was still in yous, holding on like he couldn’t bare to let go.

You took a step back, looking over your shoulder to see your two friends continuing to walk away and before you knew it, Peter was pulling you closer.

You were unsure if it was his spidey strength or just you being caught off guard but you stumbled over your feet as he pulled you towards him, letting go of his hand and reaching forward for stability.

He didn’t move an inch as you collapsed into his chest, one hand grabbing onto the lapel of his jacket and the other one pressing against his chest. You looked up at him, eyes wide form the shock of the fall.

A few seconds of eye contact made both of you break out into laughter, smiles lighting up your faces. You pressed your head against his chest as you laughed, “close call,” he teased.

You smacked the hand on his chest against his shoulder, “Don’t be an ass,”

He looked down at you as you moved your head away. He was watching you, eyes trailing over the lines in your face from your laughter. There were snowflakes in your hair, the snow still falling between the two of you.

It was almost instinctive as he reached forward and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear so he could look at you better. His hand rested on your cheek.

Never before had you felt like this, the heat warming in your cheeks as you looked up at him, snow falling onto his already wet hair. This felt like some kind of dream.

“Is that your way of flirting?” You tried to make a joke but the words nearly got caught in your throat from how nervous you were.

Peter laughed and the sound warmed in your chest. He was so stressed out lately and the sound caught in your chest, making you fall for him even more. He was happy. And he was happy with you. You wish you could just brainwash him into loving you forever and at this rate, he might just. You should confess the truth, tell him how you feel.

His eyes flickered down to your lips and your stomach jumped at the idea of him kissing you. He was your best friend, you shouldn’t be feeling this way towards him.

“Maybe,” his tone was less teasing now and you wondered if he was serious.

You would be lying if you said that you had not spent months crushing on Peter Parker, wishing that your best friend would look at you the way that you wanted him to, the way he would look at Liz.

You felt a chill go down your spine at his words, and it wasn’t just from the cold. This was the moment that every teenager dreamed of, their first kiss, and you were hoping that it would happen any moment.

This was the moment you realised it all made sense. God, you were so in love with this man in front of you that you might stop breathing. There was nobody else on your mind except for the man in front of you.

It was within seconds that he leaned down and just pressed his lips against yours, your eyes squeezing shut. You were sure you were never going to forget this moment, his lips moving against yours, his cold hand on your cheek. You allowed yourself to lean into the kiss even more lips pressed against his.

When you pulled away, your head was spinning, the adrenaline rushing through your veins at the moment. You opened your eyes and looked at Peter, a smile on his face.

This moment was perfect.

At no other time in your life would you be standing out in the snow with Peter Parker, snow falling all around you as he kissed you in the middle of the street.

“Hey-” he looked down at you and furrowed his brow, wondering why you had pulled back, “happy birthday,”

He looked down at his watch and realised it was past 12. It was his birthday. He smiled to himself, “A very happy birthday,” he said before leaning in for another kiss, hands cradling your head.

There were very few times in your life that you would be doing this - kissing Peter Parker at 12:06am as the snow fell down on the street, the entire world feeling like its stopping.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

QUESTION...? - s.s

midnight rain | vigilante shit | masterlist

Warnings: mentions of sex

Summary: the one where you realise that there is something going on between you and Scott

Wordcount: 2.6k

His arm wrapped around your waist made your face break out in a blush, a smile pulling at your lips. you shouldn’t feel so giddy but you can’t help yourself, body warming at his touch.

And how could you not. When you look up at him, aa smile on his face as he talked to one of his friends from math class, there was something so peaceful about it all, like the two of you slotted together perfectly. You were a good girl, you shouldn’t be doing this with some sad boy from across the hall.

You weren’t one to believe in soulmates, to believe that two people were supposed to be together but here you were, staring up at the man you’d only known for a few months and you were certain there was something special there.

You were always supposed to meet. That was for sure. You just had to wait a while to figure out if this was a good thing or a bad thing; no matter what happened, you knew you would always remember this moment as you stood in his arms.

You leaned your head against his shoulder and he glanced down at you for a second, lips pulling into a smile before he quickly said goodbye to his friend, turning to you and glancing down so intently at you that you could almost feel his eyes looking at you through the visor.

“Come here,” he pulled you close by the waist, your head pressed up against his chest as you both stood there for a while.

Never in your life had you ever felt that way before, like the weight of the world had been lifted from your shoulders, like you could lie in his embrace forever.

One of his hands brushed over the back of your head and you looked up at him, feeling like this was perfect, both of you slotting together perfectly in a way you had never felt before.

You had no clue how long you and Scott stayed like that, your head pressed against his chest, his head leaning on top of yours. It was like you were always supposed to be like this.

You hoped he couldn’t feel the pounding of your heart in your chest, that he couldn’t feel how nervous you were about all of this.

It would be a lie if you said that you were not attracted to Scott Summers and that you hadn’t been checking him out all night. He was perfect in every definition of the word, chiselled muscles, a dashing face.

It wasn’t just that, it was his personality too, the way he could make you laugh with even the silliest of jokes, the way he looked after the other students like his family. He was just everything you could have ever asked for and here you were.

He pulled away, hands coming to your shoulders as he looked at you. You wondered what he saw through his glasses, whether you were red and blurry or the person of his dreams.

“You wanna head outside?” He asked.

You nodded your head, pulling away from his embrace and feeling that emptiness within seconds. It was so strange how quickly you had gotten used to the feeling of him in your arms.

You walked outside, head spinning as you thought of that previous interaction. The garden in Xavier’s mansion was always busy during these parties but tonight it was practically packed, everyone smushed together.

He found the first seat he could and sat down on one of the benches, “Come sit,” Scott suggested.

Tilting your head to the side in confusion, you looked at him, a warm glow brushed across his face from the alcohol you had both been consuming all night, “There’s no seat,” you folded your arms across your chest, feeling the cold air seep into your bones.

He raised an eyebrow before patting his knee and you cocked your head at him, watching as the smirk pulled at his lips, “here,”

You looked around at the crowded room, anyone could see you here. Jubilee was at the bar, what would she say if she saw you sitting on his lap. Your head was spinning at the thought though.

There were so many voices in your head telling you that this was going to be a mistake but as you looked at him, warmth practically exuding from his skin, you knew that you’d be fine for them to gossip about this.

Scott shot you another look and you gave in to that warm feeling in your chest and walked over, hooking your arm around his neck and sitting down across his legs. This was not the way that tonight was supposed to go.

There was a warm feeling bubbling up in your chest as you looked at him up close, eyes trailing along his face. Through his glasses, you could almost see his eyes bearing into yours and you were sure nobody was ever going to look at you so intensely again.

under the warm lights of the garden, his protective glasses were almost glowing in the amber hue, light reflecting off of it. You watched as his head tilted down slightly and you were sure his eyes had just flickered back to your lips. When he made looked back up at you, your eyes meeting the visor, your throat was dry.

“I would kiss you, if you let me,”

The words made you freeze. You were already cold from the October air but a chill shot down your spine at his words. They were all you ever wanted him to say and here you were, sitting on his lap.

“Scott,” his name was quiet, sensual as it slipped from your lips and you watched him swallow at the way you said it.

“Yes,” his hand hooked around the back of your neck and your eyes fluttered shut for a second.

Every part of you wanted to say that this was a bad idea, that your friendship with Scott Summers would be ruined the moment he placed his lips on yours and yet your heart didn’t care.

“We shouldn’t,” you tried to reason but as you watched his eyes flicker down to your lips and then back up to your eyes, you could feel your resolve crumbling.

This was so unlike you. You were never supposed to come to this school and fall in love with the first guy who gave you a morsel of attention and here you were, sitting on his lap and holding him in your arms.

You placed a hand on his chest, almost trying to keep him a little further away but you found yourself instinctively leaning in towards him.

He muttered your name under his breath and you looked down at his lips, heart pounding in your chest.

Get a grip!

”We shouldn’t,” you repeated but this time the words were quiet and hushed, you were mere inches away from his mouth and then centimetres.

There was a twisting feeling in your stomach and you could start to feel your right knee shaking, spasming under the touch of his hand.

He hummed as he leaned in but even though he was drunk, he waited for you to make that first move, to lean in and kiss him.

Heart pounding, you did, lips colliding in the middle of Charles Xavier’s garden where all of your friends were going to see but for the first time in your goody-two shoes life, you could not care less.

The world seemed to slow as you kissed him, a mutation you knew neither of you had, and yet you were frozen in time, head twisting to meet his kisses, feeling his mouth open up to engulf you in it even more.

There were no words to describe this moment, his hand coming up to your neck to hold you in place, his palm cold but warming against your skin.

It was a dream you were sure you would wake up for in a minute, pulled out of it and tugged away. You squeezed your eyes shut and stayed in that moment for a few more seconds before pulling away.

His nose nudged against your cheek, your head spinning in the aftermath of the kiss. You opened your eyes and looked at him for a minute, eyes trailing over his face like this was the only time it would happen.

This had never happened to you before, nobody had ever kissed you like this in the crowded garden and you wondered if your friends were going to see, laughing at the situation, or applauding your bravery.

Scott kept his eyes closed for a minute and you soaked up the moment. You looked at the sharp lines of his nose, the small blemishes that littered his skin, the way his eyelashes touched his skin.

His eyes fluttered open and met yours, a smile pulling on his lips, “My room or yours?” He mumbled.

You weren't sure if it was his hand on your lower back or the alcohol that was making that warm feeling spread through your spine.

You watched as Scott’s eyes flickered down to your lips and he pulled you in for a hug, his face slotting perfectly into that crook in your shoulder like he was always meant to be there, his chin brushing against your chest. You leaned your head on top of his and closed your eyes.

Inhaling, you wondered if this was going to be the worst mistake you ever made. He pressed a soft kiss to your skin, lips mouthing at your collarbone like he wanted to mark you forever.

There were no thoughts running through your head as he sucked a mark into your neck, collarbone bruising under his touch. God, you were going to be ruined by him after this, soul marked by this moment under the bright lights.

You looked down at him, a hand brushing over his hair. He always was so specific about that, making sure his hair wasn’t messy. You just furrowed your brow and watched as he allowed you to do the one thing nobody else ever could.

“My room,”

Closing your eyes, you knew you were going to regret this moment.

Scott moved his head away from your neck but kept his eyes focused on it, pad of his thumb brushing over the mark against your neck that was already tender under his touch. He looked up at you, eyes wide like a puppy dogs as he nodded his head.

You stood up, knees a little bit shaky. You had never felt like this before, head spinning from his affection, his eyes hooded as he looked at you.

Reaching a hand forwar, he took yours and held it tight. Then he pulled away and your brows creased together in confusion. Using both of his hands, he interlocked your fingers, “Like this,” he mumbled under his breath, letting your hands drop, swinging them slightly together.

Your face heated up in a blush at his touch and you lead him upstairs, looking over your shoulder every now and then just to make sure it was all real.

The lights were blaring in the common room just like they did whenever Charles would leave, the teenagers all taking over the building.

The Christmas holidays passed easily and you made it back home for a little while, sitting on the porch of your Arizona house and pretending that none of this had happened.

It had been months since your rendezvous with Scott and you both made the decision that dating would be a problem for you both, especially with him still reeling from his break up with Jean.

Still, you couldn’t help that feeling that came into your chest every single time that you thought about that night, the way he felt pressed up against you, the taste of sweat on his neck as you sucked at his skin, his hands roaming your body, gripping onto your flesh and pulling.

you remembered everything about that night, the mole he had on his right shoulder blade, the way his chest felt underneath your hands, the freckles against his collarbone. All those little details that you knew about him that nobody else did and you couldn’t even tell anyone.

That was the deal. Nobody was supposed to know about that night you had spent together, nobody had caught him sneaking out of your bedroom the next morning and that was for the better. This was, nobody could tease you two.

Maybe you could have given it a try, had a real relationship but he was broken in two from everything that Jean had put him through and you were not the one who was going to fix him - it wasn’t even like he gave you a chance to help.

She was probably on his mind. Jean was always on his mind. He probably wished he could still touch her, that the girl that night had been you. It would be more suitable for him to get back with her and you were sure he had been waiting for it.

The break from school had been good but now you were back in classes and every time you would look at him, you could see him above you, arms braced between your head as he swooped down to kiss you again, tongue fighting its way into your mouth.

Every time you could feel his beard scratching against your skin, a joke about a potential rash slipping from his mouth and making you laugh as he pressed himself further against you. He had given you a look in that moment, head tilted back in laughter and you wondered how this had all happened.

It was like a dream that night but you were still living the nightmare of loving someone who didnt love you back and you were sure that he never would. You had been searching for the feeling ever since, and here you were, lost in the situation.

“Hey,” a voice said and you looked up to see him standing over you, a drink in his hands, “How was Christmas?”

Blinking a few times, you tried to ignore the sound of his moaning playing in your head like a broken record, the way his eyes had squeezed shut, the way he gripped onto you like you were going to disappear.

You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it all, “Good,” you nodded your head, “Pretty mundane, how about you? You go home?”

he shook his head, “Couldn’t, my parents were in Wisconsin and I’m kinda banned from going back,”

You chuckled, “You gotta tell me about that some day,” you looked up at him with those eyes again, those eyes that screamed ‘fall in love with me!’

”one day,” he hummed in response and looked down at you.

You wondered what he was thinking at that moment, that he might think about you and him together on that night. You wondered if he ever relived that moment like you did, if he could hear you gasping out his name, fingernails digging into the skin of his back.

the music was blaring over your conversation but as you looked at him again as he sat down, it was like you were the only two left in the room.

The tension between the two of you were growing every second and even though you knew that it was just a silly situation but tonight, you were sure you could change both of your minds.

Neither of you were drunk this time, at least it looked like he hadnt even touched his cup yet. The words that slipped from his mouth made you realise how stupid you were.

“My room or yours?”

Your response was even dumber.

“Yours,”

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

Guess who just got broken up with from the guy she wasn't even dating! This gal!

Yeah, it totally sucks because we're flatmates at Uni, (yes, your girl committed the cardinal sin and is paying for it). I'll be fine - eventually - but for now, expect more writing from me and a theme change because why the hell not.

Love y'all, and tip to all, don't make out with your flat mates

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

PICK AND CHOOSE - l.c

Warnings: skin picking

Summary: the one where Luke and you finally discuss whatever is going on in the relationship

Wordcount: 2.4k

You sat down on his bed, the Hermes cabin empty because they were working on a prank against the Athena cabin with the Hephaestus boys.

You had called for this conversation with Luke, both of you putting it off because what was there really to say. This was it now and your heart was speeding up at a record time and you were worried it was going to beat so fast it would fly out of your chest.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just-” you looked down at your hands, fingers picking at the skin by your fingernails, “-I dunno, just feeling a little insecure,”

You could feel the shame wash over you at the words because there is no need whatsoever for you to feel that way.

well there is.

At least that’s what you tell yourself as you continue to stare at your skin, hoping that the insecurity will go away with every tug of the hangnails at your fingers.

Maybe it was the fact that he had been paying you no attention since that night or maybe it was the way that you couldn’t stand the thought of other girls looking at him the way that they do, eyes roaming over his body. God, you should be the only one allowed to look at him like that.

You didn't know how long you had been silent for before he reached down and grabbed your hand, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Insecure?”

You scoffed at his words. This was not how this should go. You were supposed to be okay with casual, that’s what the two of you had discussed.

Insecure. The word made you feel sick to your stomach because it was such a petty feeling, like envy and jealousy. It came out of nowhere and sometimes just surprised you but you had been feeling it all your life.

It had been a rough day anyway but the way he said the words made it even worse. It felt like he was taunting you.

You pulled your hand away and placed it back in your lap, only just noticing the skin bleeding at your fingernails.

“It’s silly, I know-“ you started to say and he cut you off.

“It’s not silly,” he reassured, “Everyone gets insecure,”

You shook your head, “This-” you gestured between the two of you, “-us,” just saying the word made your face heat with embarrassment because what us was there.

It felt wrong, like two little kids playing dress up at having feelings. Luke was the first guy you had ever thought about in this way and here you were making a fool of yourself in front of him.

“I dont mean to be-” the words couldnt come. This was one of those emotions that you could never quite phrase and no matter what word you used, it always came out wrong, “-needy?”

Luke could sense your uncertainty about it all and he just watched you intently, those eyes that you could stare in for hours now only gave you one look. Pity.

You had to fight back the words that were trying to claw out of your throat. You wanted to yell and scream and tell him how pathetic that look made you feel, like you were some rescue puppy he had found on the streets and taught new tricks. He was your first: first kiss, first makeout, first…

Images flashed in your mind of him laying in your empty cabin, shirtless, you on top of him, hands pressed against his chest. Then you were lying there next to him in his bed, head laying against his chest as he explained the book he was reading to you. Those moments felt so far away as you looked into his eyes.

“You’re not being needy,”

this time you did scoff, “You know that thing babies get when they play peek-a-boo? Object permanence? I feel like I have that with people. Like if you’re not in the room then you must hate me and this paranoia has followed me round my whole life. Gods, sometimes, dont you just think that everyone hates you and that they’re faking being friends with you?”

The words stumbled off of your tongue before you could stop them and by then you had blurted it all out, chest heaving at the end as you realised how vulnerable you had just been in front of him.

You didn’t even look up from your hands as you waited to hear his response. He was going to hate this and you knew it.

Luke was so calm all the time, holding his composure about this. He barely even mentioned whatever was going on between you when you were with the other campers. It was like you didn’t even exist.

You couldn’t quite but your finger on how long you had been sitting on that feeling but maybe it had been there since the moment you first kissed in your cabin after the bonfire, his lips tasting like the moonshine the Dionysus kids brewed and his hand pressed firmly against your back.

You finally looked up at him, eyes meeting yours. When you would stand up, there was a significant height difference but here, sitting down, you were on even playing ground.

“We can stop,”

those words made your heart sink, stomach twisting into knots at the idea. How could you go back to the way things were before when he had been looking at you like that? When you knew what he sounded like in bed, breathy words whispered into your ear?

“That’s not why I came here,” you stated, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to put into words the way you felt.

There were no words and there never would be. How could you ever express all of the love and care that you have for him without seeming obsessed after two makeout sessions. This was supposed to be casual.

You had promised him no feelings from either of you and yet here you were less than two weeks later, heart so full to the brim with him that any pain he felt, you felt tenfold.

“Then why did you?” He asked so nonchalantly and you could feel the tears burning at the back of your eyes.

Shaking your head, you looked back at your blood stained fingernails, “I shouldn’t have,”

His eyes trailed down to your hands. You both shared the same bad habit, biting at your fingernails. His were painful, bitten to the halfway point and scared yet yours were healed, nice paint always draped on top to hide the peeling of your skin - your next victim.

Luke grabbed onto your hands to stop you from the compulsion and you felt forced to look into his eyes, “I don’t want to stop either,”

They were the words that you wanted to feel so why did they make your heart sink even lower into your chest?

“I-” the words were caught in your throat. Keep your composure. Thats what you kept repeating to yourself as you felt the tears brimming on your waterline. Crying in front of him was not on the agenda today.

Casual. Most boys dream and most girls nightmare. You should be okay with all that you could get from him, a kiss here and there but maybe that was making these feelings worse.

Maybe it was the way that he wouldn’t act like he wanted you on some nights, barely even acknowledging that you are there, his conversation focused on some other camper as you stood by the sidelines waiting like an idiot.

Maybe it was the way he talked to other girls, their eyes trailing over his shoulders and arms like he was on the market, hand on his shoulder as they laughed at one of his shitty jokes.

Maybe it was the way that you wanted him to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you close, to kiss you when the other head of cabins were looking, to want to make out with you when he was sober as well as drunk.

“I like you,” you blurted the words out.

He chuckled, “I like you too, is that not obvious,”

You shook your head with disdain at his comment. This was not time for silly jokes.

“No. I really like you and I dont want you to kiss other girls,”

his brow furrowed and he shook his head quickly, “Who said I want to kiss other girls?” He questioned.

You shrugged, a sheepishness coming over you at your admissions, “Beckendorf,” you stated, “He said he wanted to wingman you,”

”Did I say I wanted Beckendorf to wingman me?”

“No, but-“ you furrowed your brow and he just looked at your confusion.

“I like you a lot,” he promised but the words seemed to melt off of your skin like they meant nothing, “I do not want other girls, it’s just-“

You cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “You want to be single but have me on the side, just in case you get bored?”

He could hear the spitefulness in your words, the anger in your tone and he wondered how long this had been building up in your chest for, how long you had been wanting to say this to him.

“That is not what you are to me,” he reassured but the words didn’t help.

Scoffing, you pulled your hands away, “Then why don’t you want to kiss me? Why do I have to make the effort all the time?”

He tilted his head to the side and looked at you, watching as a tear slipped over your waterline. You cursed yourself as he leaned forward and wiped the tear away with the pad of his finger. He hated to see you like this, so much self loathing inside of you.

“I’m nervous,”

Now that was a ridiculous statement, “You? Nervous,” you shook your head at the woods because there was no way that they could ever be true, “You are like the coolest person I know, why would you get nervous?”

You watched as a blush crept up to his cheeks, “Because you’re the coolest person I know,”

your eyes widened at his admission and you wondered if he meant it.

“I worry that we are going to screw up our friendship by doing this, that I am no going to be a good boyfriend for you. I cannot lose you,” he admitted and you just sat there for a moment, staring at him.

“I think i just did, screw it up I mean,”

He shook his head, “You? Never,” he promised, hand coming down to rest on your knee which you only just noticed was bouncing up and down in your nervous state, “I care about you so much,”

”Then show it,”

“The other campers-” he started to say and you sighed. Great. Another excuse why you were not going to be working out.

“Ignore them, let’s be us,” you were practically begging at this point because you knew he could call this arrangement off any second and you would be left drowning in all the affection you never got to show him.

“I don’t want them to know, they will get involved and ruin this,” he was right and you hated that.

“I want you to want me,” the words tumbled from your mouth easier than you expected them to, “I want to be at the bonfires and you dance with me and talk to me and it sounds so needy,”

“It’s not needy,”

”It is!” You exclaimed.

The room went silent and you were left staring at one another, listening to the creeking of the walls in the wind and the rustling of the grass, “It is,” you repeated, a little bit quieter.

”I can’t do casual,”

He nodded, understanding the complexity of it all, “I can’t do a relationship,”

A sob was caught in your throat as you heard those words, they were the last thing that you wanted to hear and he knew that, watching as your face contort at his statement, lip trembling as you tried to stop the tears from overflowing.

“Okay,”

He tilted his head to the side, “Okay?”

You just shrugged because what was there left to do. There was no way that you were going to be able to convince him that you were worth it, that you were worthy of being his girlfriend if he didn’t want to be convinced.

“You’re an idiot,” he stated and you turned to look at him with a face that read shock horror.

“Excuse me?”

He could see all the hurt and anger bubbling up inside of you, brows pulling together and nose scrunching up just like it always did before a fight. He knew you too well.

“I would try. For you,” he stated and there it was again, the flip of emotion on your face to one of confusion, your lip pulling up in confusion, brows still furrowed but softening to complexity, “I want you in my life and more than a friend,”

You shook your head because this was all so wrong. You stood up, head spinning. This was not the way that this was supposed to go. This was going to be you breaking this thing off with him and yet here you were potentially entering into a relationship.

He followed after you before you could reach the cabin door, hand sneaking around your waist to pull you closer to him, “Say yes,”

“Luke,” a hand came out, balancing against his chest.

“Say yes,” he repeated, nose nuzzling against your throat. You knew this was wrong but Gods, it felt so right.

“Luke,”

He hummed in response, looking up at you with those big brown eyes that you had come to love over the years.

”Say yes,” he hoped one more time would do the trick.

You nodded your head, leaning down to feel his breath against your lips, “Okay,” you nudged your nose against his, “Okay,”

“Be my girlfriend?” The words seemed so natural on his tongue and you couldn’t fight the warm feeling in your chest at being addressed in that way.

You kissed him then and there. There still were not enough words to explain this feeling but as you kissed against the door in the Hermes cabin, you knew you were going to regret this moment in the long run.

But right now, there was no regret.

A/N sorry for the lack of posts, I've been at uni for a while but I'm feeling the inspiration. This is good for you guys and bad for me because this is the most autobiographical fanfic I've written in a while so enjoy as my love life plummets to hell

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#Mood

Gilmore Girls (2000 - 2007) I 2.08

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The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise

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Yeah, for thoses who don't know, Aurora Perrineau who play Eurydice in Kaos, is the daughter of Harold Perrineau, who play Mercutio in THAT Romeo+Juliet adaptation (you know the one)

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I would rather kms than play audio from my phone in public without headphones and I don’t understand how others don’t feel the same

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happy 31st birthday to the x files! I put 31 references to various episodes in here, if you can find them all I'm afraid there's no hope for you. watch another show. (just kidding i know there's no escape)

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Me stepping onto the balcony to address my followers